#you see i am incapable of making a completely happy character

[radioactiveshitstorm]

For the OC thingy:

Vasya: Canvas, Road, Alternate

and (obligatory bc when I saw his profile my polish levels went skyrocketing lol xD):

Wabik: Stillness, Roots, Change

(ps. sorry for the prompt spam but I thought you would like some more when one per character lol)

OH FUCK YEAH do not apologise, i get to talk about my tall quiet son and my short rowdy son! :D

Vasya

canvas: Does your OC have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings? Do they display or cover them up at all?

No tattoos or piercings, and he'd probably never get them on account of being terrified of needles/sharp pointy things being stuck in him, but he does have scars. Mental illness is a hell of a thing, y'know? He's also got a scar across his right palm where he tried to de-stone an avocado like he'd seen on the internet. It turns out the knife was, in fact, sharper than he realised, and he did not know the right amount of force to put behind it! Whoops! This one he doesn't care about people seeing, but the SH scars are more of a sensitive topic - he pretty much always wears long sleeves unless the weather absolutely demands it.

road: What does your OC wear while traveling? Do they have high-quality equipment, or are they making do? What does their gear look like?

This man is not travelling. On the rare occasion when he's taking like a flight or something, it's cheap and cheerful comfort all the way. Joggers and a hoodie, headphones, that's about it. I am at something of a loss for this one bc his ass does not Go Anywhere

alternate: What would your OC's alternate universe look be? If they're a fantasy character, what's their modern look? If they're sci-fi, what's their fantasy look? What AU would you want to see your OC in, and how would they dress themself?

Oh. Oh I have infinite AUs for this man. Fantasy AU? He's a funky little forest-dwelling druid with four dog familiars, who sells homemade potions (and soups) to friendly travellers who pass through. Sci-fi? I had a story written out once which was just an excuse to throw all my characters onto a space-station, Vasya works as the on-station gardener and spends 99% of his time with his hands in the dirt and figuring out how to grow fruit in space. Another classic is the lighthouse-keeper AU; his upbringing is the same but he flees home and becomes a lighthouse keeper, adapting to life alone on a desolate rock and enjoying it more than he should. On the fandom side of things... There's his various Fallout-AUs, where he's Courier Six with a med-x dependency, or sometimes a nervous wandering ghoul trader. His Destiny 2 AU, where I turned him into a spacemagic robot and went full oc x canon with one of the loudest characters in the game. And my current favourite AU, the one confined to a friend's server, where he lives & works as a maintenance guy on a military base, and manages to befriend literally everybody he meets almost instantly. He's the most-protected beanpole ever in that one :) And I will stop describing his AUs there or we'll be here all night!

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Wabik (aka Ludwik)

stillness: How does your OC act while still? Are they fidgety? Do they have any common gestures or tics? Does their clothing affect how they hold themselves while at rest?

Wabik cannot fucking stay still for the life of him. Man's a ball of barely-contained ADHD, even if he's not actively moving around he's still tapping his fingers or clicking his tongue or doing the ol' leg-jiggle. His current go-to fidget is tapping the fingers on his left hand with his thumb, in like a sequence (since it's a prosthetic, it makes a more satisfying noise). Clothing only really affects that if he happens to be wearing bracelets that day, in which case those are getting fiddled with. (He used to fiddle with his wedding ring, until he lost his arm and got the ring engraved onto his prosthetic instead.)

roots: Is your OC's look inspired by any specific style of clothing or fashion trend? What are the roots and/or inspiration for their look?

PASTELS. ALL PASTELS. He's just a happy lil pastel guy, he took that style and ran with it! Pale pinks, lilacs, minty-green, baby blue, all that jazz - he loves it, loves to feel pretty. Doesn't restrict what he wears based on silly ideas of gender either; if he wants to rock a crop-top and a skirt, he's going to damn-well do it, and look damn cute in the process. No real inspiration for it, he just liked dressing like this pre-transition and didn't see any reason to change it up. Plus, this particular style goes great with his favourite heart-shaped sunglasses.

change: Has your OC ever drastically changed their appearance? Significant haircuts, big tattoos, complete wardrobe swap, etc? Why? How do they feel about the change?

Only once, and it was temporary, and for a not-particularly-pleasant reason. After the events of The Breaking of Ludwik Nowak, he desperately had to change something, partly out of a need to regain some control and bodily-autonomy, and partly because his usual style didn't feel safe any more. So he shelved all his cute pastel stuff, switching it for plain darker-coloured clothing, and shaved his hair off completely. Did he like it? No, he fucking hated it. Hated that it was a very visible and obvious tell that something was Not Right with him, felt almost ashamed of it. But he physically couldn't get through life any other way, at the time.

He's gone back to his usual look by this point, for the most part, although still has the occassional Bad Day where he'll pull out some less-vibrant clothes and tuck his hair under one of his husband's baseball caps. He's less ashamed of it now, too, although it's still not enjoyable.

[astridthevalkyrie]

me getting into a new character: how neurodivergent am i allowed to go

cw: fluff + a few mild horny thoughts

Rafayel has this little quirk where he's practically incapable of acting like a normal boyfriend. Or a normal person, honestly. Where other people would just take your hand walking down the street, he holds it out with a too-happy, beaming grin so that he can see you take it yourself. Where other people would just sit down at a fancy restaurant, he makes mock offended noises if you try to sit before he can make a big show of pulling your chair out for you.

Where other people would kiss you, he likes biting.

"I'm thinking," he muses, nibbling on your earlobe, "what about a diamond necklace?"

You sigh, burrowing yourself further into him, back against his chest. You're quite comfortable, and you could even fall asleep if it wasn't for his constant yammering. "No."

"Come on," he complains, sinking his teeth into your cheek this time. You let out a brief sound of exasperation, trying to bat at him, but he remains steadfast, tongue poking out to soothe the minor indent he leaves into your skin. "How'm I supposed to prove myself if you won't let me?"

"How would you buying me a diamond necklace prove anything?"

One of his hands slips under your shirt, resting right under your chest. His fingers knead whatever they get in contact with—it's not painful, actually it feels pretty good, not that you'd ever admit it to him. Though you suppose, turning around in his hold and silently indicating to him to pull you closer may just be admitting exactly that.

"It'd prove I'm not cheap, for one thing. I'd be able to tell everyone, whatever my girlfriend wants, she gets! You're so strange, not wanting anything. Do you even know how rich I am?"

"Tell you what," you mumble, burying your face in his neck and completely melting in his arms as soon as his comforting scent fills your senses, "you buy me a quesadilla tomorrow and I'll tell everyone you're practically my sugar daddy."

Rafayel scoffs. "Like anyone would ever believe you were a sugar baby. You don't have the constitution for it."

That might be a new lead in the top ten strangest insults you've ever heard from him. Shooting a small glare up his way, you bite back, "Are you going to let me sleep or are you gonna keep talking?"

"Keep talking," he answers without hesitation, then barrels forward before you can protest. "Hmm, maybe I should just fill my place up with amenities for you. Cheese plates in the kitchen. Exfoliators in the bathroom. A butler to take your coat."

The ridiculous idea of him hiring a butler just so someone could occasionally take your coat from you when you come over makes you laugh, which in turn puts a pleased smile on his face and accidentally encourages him to continue.

"What's that kids' movie you like? Twelve Dancing Princesses? What if I just repaint this room with the floor design from that?"

Now hang on. This one actually interests you, the idea of playing out your childhood fantasies out by dancing around in Rafayel's room. If you asked, you're sure he'd hire someone to replicate the same dress the main character from that movie wears too. "Wouldn't that be embarrassing? Anyone who comes here would see it."

"Yeah, something tells Thomas won't care. And if anyone else does come here, they'll probably write a boringly long article meant to flatter me. Renowned artist is super nice and generous to his childish girlfriend—"

"Says the guy who cried during Island Princess," you fire back, "also, it's nice to know you're only trying to spoil me for acclaim."

"Hello? Did you miss the part where I said boringly long? I'm trying to spoil you because I want you to spend my money."

"Why? It turns you on or something?"

"Maybe," he grins, pretending to lean in to kiss you, then sinking his teeth into your cheek once more the second you purse your lips to meet him halfway. With a quiet growl, you kick at his feet, and he only laughs against your skin. "Come oooon, I'm serious. Tell me at least one expensive thing I can get you."

Finally, you open your eyes, looking up at him with all your sincerest conviction. "Raf. If you wanna ruin your reputation and renovate your floor into the Twelve Dancing Princesses one just to prove a point, go for it. But I'm warning you, I'm gonna have to give you the best head of your life if you do that."

Rafayel groans, the hand that's not up your shirt tangling into your hair. "Don't tell me that, you're gonna force me to be selfless and turn it down. This isn't transactional. I give you my card and tell you to go wild, and then you just do it. Nothing in return."

Ah, yes, the Raf classic. Say the sweetest possible thing in the most irritating way he possibly can. Well, two can play at that game.

"If you give me your card and expect nothing in return, I'm going to strictly buy paint supplies in all your favorite brands, all your favorite colors—"

"I don't have favorite colors—"

Clamping a hand over his mouth, you press on. "And your weak attempt to spoil me will fall flat because not only will I only buy things you like, but I'll wire you the entire amount of what I spend the next day."

He lets out a dramatic half-whine, shaking you a little. "Man, you're so embarrassing!" Tugging you closer, he drowns out your complaints with his own protests. "So clingy, stop getting so close to me! Oh my god," he moans, holding your hand tighter the more you try to fight him and pull back, "get away from me, stalker. Let go!"

"Holy shit, you're so annoying—"

"And you're so obsessed with me, it's concerning."

For once, you're the one pouting at him. "I'm trying to sleep. You're really warm. Can you please push my limits later?"

An affectionate smile lights up his face. "Yeah, okay. As long as you agree tomebuyingyouapradabag."

"No."

Rafayel snorts, tucking his face into your hair. "And you think you could handle being a sugar baby."

[willicebattlecatsblog]

I’d just like to say that you and your comics about Lionblaze have made me care for him and his character more than canon ever could dream to, thank you. I never actually gave him much thought before and saw him as annoying, but now I’ve seen the possible potential he could have as a character because the booms just screwed up his personality, and I love seeing your Lionblaze content. I especially love seeing him as a med cat and him getting closer with Leafpool

Your comment means so much to me,,, I am so happy I helped you appreciate the Lionblaze,,,,

Canon did him so dirty by wasting his potential making him ''standard warrior main character''

The canon will give pieces of his personality, but all these pieces are so incredibly under-exploited and incomplete

As an example, him having moral OCD in PoT is genuinely a really good idea knowing the extent of his power, but they just throw this plotline under the rug in the next book (knowing that it's very hard to get rid of OCD lol) Like we see him losing it in the mountains, we see him going ballistic on Crowfeather and Heathertail. Lionblaze knows how dangerous he can be if he isn't always holding back in battle, and it scares him so bad he has vivid nightmares about killing his loved ones. I think it's the first real time in Warriors we had a main character who had the full potential of becoming a villain the moment he stops holding back. Like that's genuinely really good storytelling, and they just??? throw it away in the next book like it never happened????

This dude kills Russetfur, which should have been his worst nightmare becoming reality. That's it, he finally killed someone. Because for just a few seconds, he got so worried about his leader being attacked and probably killed that he stopped holding back. And yet this is less of a plot point than the obviously accidental death of Flametail. Like Jayfeather tries to save a cat who is drowning and is called a murderer during a Gathering, but Lionblaze who kills Russetfur in front of at least 20 cats, that's fine he was just being silly. Like the writers were writing Lionblaze like crap on purpose at this point they had completely given up on him lmfao

We also see his compassionate and empathetic side shine a few times, mostly when he is the one who forgives Squilf and Leafpool the easiest and the fastest. Lionblaze idolizes Brambleclaw and shows a genuine affection for his dad several times and it's genuinely wholesome. Lionblaze has a few really sweet moments with Leafpool and Squilf in OotS :) i cherish these scenes so much.......

He isn't perfect of course, far from it, he can be a douche (mainly to Heathertail, Breezepelt and Dovewing), he is hot-headed and doesn't think before he speaks or acts, he struggles to communicate properly, he often has a weird tunnel-vision in OotS and doesn't listen to Dovepaw's problems with the care it deserves. For most of PoT, despite going through some tough training as an apprentice and later as a newly made warrior, he is almost completely oblivious to the fact that his own mentor Ashfur as a personal beef with him. As someone with the autism rizz, Lionblaze's communication skills are just so autistic to me. This dude has almost no friends, even his ex-apprentice Dovewing isn't on very friendly terms with him (understandable because he was a bad mentor tbh), he feels safe only around his close family, and messes up almost every friendship and relationship he has because he is incapable of communicating properly. Him trying to date Cinderheart was just Lionblaze being absolutely incapable of understanding her point of view, and then proceeding to literally self harm by letting a ShadowClan massacre him to show Cinderpelt he could be harmed on his own will ?? Like what goes on in the Lionblaze's head ?? is he ok ???

Also they could have made him a medicine cat.... I yearn for the Lionblaze medicine cat plotline so much...... Lionblaze being so incredibly scared of hurting anyone again after his nightmares, or after killing Russetfur, that he just drops all the warrior duties and hides in Leafpool's den all day...... also Jayfeather could have been a warrior 100%, we clearly see him fight very well when he is in tandem with one of his siblings, he is capable of running on ThunderClan territory with no issues once he learned the layout, like there's so excuse anymore StarClan just wanted to ruin his life for entertainment

anyway

They could have done do much more with the Lionblaze.......

[franklin-nelson-archive]

What do you expect from Born Again? I for one am cautiously excited. It's a shame Foggy is going to die, but I don't think he would have much meaning anyway. Don't get me wrong, I like him. But I love Matt, Karen and Frank more. I think it's time for his story to end. I'm sure Foggy's sacrifice will give Karen the anger she needs to pick up her gun in revenge and Matt a reason to let the devil out so I think it will be worth it. Or maybe his death will be poetic and beautiful and temporary. Although I don't think he really fits the tone of the series. Karen has a more dramatic appeal and Frank too. Foggy is only cute and sweet. I hope you don't get upset with my question And my opinion on Foggy

I thought a lot before deciding whether to answer this question since I don't know if it's valid or just another one like the millions of hateful asks about Elden and Foggy that I've received over the years.

And even if the reason for this ask is to hurt me, I believe that all opinions need to be heard, even when I disagree.

I've said this more than once: I don't plan on watching Born Again. Period.

I don't want to re-watch, revisit a scene I've seen thousands of times on the internet. I don't want to see Foggy on the concrete, getting a shot that wasn't aimed at him.

Even if it is a temporary death. Even if he just gets hurt. No, I don't want to watch that.

I don't want to see Matt and Karen (without Foggy) reminiscing about old memories. I don't want to see Matt living life as if Foggy isn't an important person to him. I don't want to watch a show where Foggy, who used to be the heart of the show, appears in one or two episodes.

I know, I know I'll end up watching bits and pieces here and there because people won't get tired of posting edits, scene cuts, photos, gifs etc. And I don't like blocking people just because they have opinions that go against mine. I only block haters, etc.

Believe me, I'm glad Karen has a lot of heart in the show. After all, I fought for years for Elden and Deborah to return alongside Charlie for this show. I'm really happy for her and her fans. And I think it's beautiful that Jon cared so much about her to the point of saying that he would only return to the role if she was also on the show.

I just wish the Born Again writers knew that Foggy is also a crucial character. Not just because he's Matt's friend. Foggy has a rich history and is very capable of having a good plot even without a weapon, even without powers, without sexual appeal. I just wish (and hope) that Born Again doesn't erase all the importance of the original Foggy. In Elden's words: "Even though he's a little clumsy, Foggy is not an idiot." Foggy is smart, good, and intelligent.

I'm sure the directors did the best they could to fit Foggy into a plot that was almost complete. We need to remember that Foggy was going to die off-screen in the first script. And Karen wasn't even mentioned. So, I believe it was easier to fit Karen in there, giving her more scenes.

It's wonderful that Karen is a badass, has a gun, and is her own hero. I love Karen so much! But Foggy, Foggy was always the heart, and nothing survives without a heart.

Good-hearted people are strong in their own way. (this part makes me start crying, hell, I hate being so stupid)

And it's naive to think that a hero show will only be good if it has shooting, blood, sex, and things like that.

I don't know about you, but what made me love the show was the human and fragile part.

It was seeing that the girl wasn't so fragile and weak, that she is flawed and tries her best despite everything. She found a family (two idiots) and fought tooth and nail to protect Foggy and Matt from Fisk.

That Matt, the hero, is fragile, silly, pathetic. Sexy in his sweatpants and socks. That he feels pain, he cries, he feels angry and feels incapable most of the time.

That the silly friend (and useless in most opinion) is brave, strong, the one who goes for sex for consolation. Who has a family like everyone else.

These things, this human part were what made me love the show. Although I've been a Daredevil fan since childhood and admittedly an Elden fan since childhood as well.

These characters were like family to me.

The three of them!

Will I change my mind about Born Again? The second season, perhaps. But again, out of respect for Elden and Foggy, no, I don't intend to watch a scene that I've seen thousands of times and that has sometimes been mocked. And it still hurts me.

In Elden's words: The show is going to be amazing! I'm sure. But not for me.

[youngroyalsforever]

A Part of You is good.

It's emotional, it's impactful, it's realistic. It has a story to tell, and it tells it in an honest way, mostly avoiding melodrama. It has its flaws but they are easy to ignore once you start caring about the characters.

I really appreciated APOY for showing a family struggling with a loved one's depression. Their inability to communicate with each other and support each other felt too true at some points — I paused the film multiple times because it was that difficult to watch. It was different from the way too many media deal with subjects like addiction and mental health. In real life, those things aren't small obstacles on the path to happiness, they are life-long struggles. APOY felt true in this regard. Through a better part of the film Agnes is completely isolated in her grief, so is her mom. They cannot support one another even in the moment when they learn about Julia's death.

Felicia Maxime's character is the main focus of APOY, we see the story through Agnes' eyes. Felicia is good and completely believable in this role. There were a few moments when her acting seemed a bit melodramatic but they could have been the director's choices.

Edvin has a smaller role than the promo campaign had suggested so I get YR fans' disappointment. Even so, he is brilliant in every scene. I was pleasantly shocked by his ability to bring to life such different characters as Noel and Wilhelm. Not that we needed it after three seasons of Young Royals, but APOY is another confirmation that Edvin is an exceptionally talented actor who will make the absolute best out of any material he is given.

Someone who knows about filmmaking more than I do could write about APOY's visual language. I know nothing. I only can say that the film is really effective at making the viewer feeling the characters' emotions.

The one thing I have issue with APOY is its message. I am not a five-year-old, therefore I don't need a piece of media to be a How It Should Be Done manual. A Part of You is a film about recovering from grief but it sacrifices something to be it. Julia isn't given enough space to become a character the viewer could care about. Bluntly speaking, she is there to die so the other characters could complete their arcs. We only see Julia as her depression — she is a burden to her loved ones, her mom doesn't know how to deal with her, her boyfriend is exhausted and overwhelmed by his duties of a babysitter. Her friends are saddened by Julia's death but we don't know the reason for that, it can be a typical young people's reaction to a death of someone their age. Julia could have been a good person outside of depression she didn't know how to handle. APOY only allows her to be a plot device for other characters' growth.

It brings us to the message. The film leads us to believe that nothing could be done. Julia is dead, her loved ones have to understand her death wasn't their fault and move on. I don't disagree with that. What rubs me the wrong way is carelessness with which the film handles the subject of depression. Depression is difficult for anyone, but it's especially difficult for teenagers. They brains haven't finished developing, they biologically incapable of understanding how long life is. To them, any struggle seems like the end of the world.

I am not suggesting that APOY — a piece of media inspired by a real-life tragedy — should have had a different plot, the one that would teach the audience that depression is manageable and suicides are preventable. I think that any character with mental health struggles deserves to be portrayed as a multidimentional person and their death can't be reduced to a reason behind someone else's journey of self-discovery.

[starcurtain]

I think my very least favorite type of mihoyo fan to interact with is the rabid "There's no ships implied or teased because in Hoyo games no ships are canon!! These characters are just friends!!"

Like, do you just enjoy being bland as untoasted bread? Do you not have a single romantic bone in your body? Are you completely incapable of just letting other people have fun?

Normally I am happy to let people cook, but actually, for this group? Please shut up. Literally no one who is shipping in these fandoms actually expects their ships to be 100% confirmed as canon in-game. We know there aren't many confirmed relationships in Hoyo games. We've got it, thanks!

But denying that there's any deliberate ship tease or fan bait, especially in Hoyo's marketing, just makes you look media illiterate. Of course there's ship tease in Hoyo marketing and games! That shit sells just as well as the waifu/husbando fantasy! Hoyo knows how to make money; they're not stupid!

Anyway, sorry for the rant. There just seems to be a particular breed of really intolerable fan in the Hoyo fandoms that is exhausting to have to see and respond to and that last video has brought them out in force... 😮‍💨

[hotpinkboots]

Can you please do Yandere Emily (Corpse Bride) x fem reader?

~~~~~~~~~~

~Yandere!𝓔𝓶𝓲𝓵𝔂 x Fem!Reader Headcanons~

~~~~~~~~~~

HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN, DARLINGS!! This request won the poll, and I am SO happy that it did. This was honestly a challenge to write, Emily is so sweet that I couldn't figure out how to make her a yandere. You know a character is good when they're such a cinnamon roll you can't figure out a way to make them bad.

Summary: Emily has her dead heart set on a new lover.

Note(s): I wrote it as Emily and the reader already being married.

Warning(s): Clingy behavior, guilt tripping, insecurities, jealousy, soft yandere because Emily is incapable of doing bad things

~Enjoy~

★★★★

𝓔𝓶𝓲𝓵𝔂

★★★★

~Emily is a very sweet lady, she could never do anything too terrible to you, or anybody else, for that matter.

~So, her actions as a yandere aren't very bad, if anything they're just annoying and manipulative.

~Emily never means to be manipulative, either. She'd feel terrible if she realized that she's trying to make you feel a certain way just so you comfort her.

~If you brought it to her attention, she'd be hurt at first, but after a moment of thought she'd realize you're correct, and would apologize for it.

~Girly literally was killed for her money and he didn't truly love her, that's why she needs extra attention and reassurance in a relationship.

~She's very doting, so much to where you can't get away from her.

~Emily's always there, somehow, and if she can't find you, then she's looking for you and calling your name.

~I once spoke about Emily's love for holding your hand. With Emily as a yandere, that headcanon is further amplified.

~Always holding your hand, and if you try to pull away, her skeletal hand will pop off and keep its hold on you. She's being playful, but it can grow repetitive after the first few times.

~Her attachment to you is very strong, and this can cause her to blow things out of proportion.

~If you need to go somewhere, even just to complete a simple task, Emily always asks if she can come with you.

~If she can't, she'll pretend to understand, but will think lowly of herself and wonder if you love her or not.

~Will sulk about it until you thoroughly reassure her.

~She can get jealous, not VERY easily, but it wouldn't be too hard for her to take something the wrong way.

~Seeing you admire a piece of clothing somebody is wearing, for example.

~Emily would take that as you looking longingly at somebody who isn't her.

~If she really thinks you love somebody else, she'll keep away from you for awhile and be upset about it.

~As a yandere, she's not as forgiving as she is in the movie, and can ignore you for a long time, even when you come to talk to her.

~Emily has insecurities about herself, such as thinking she's not good enough for you, and so you might find somebody better.

~But, she's also very trusting.

~You can avoid any misunderstandings by often telling her how much you love her, and using clear communication.

~~~~~~~~~

Request Guidelines!

Join my Discord Server! There you can talk about my fanfiction, roleplay, chat, watch movies and listen to music with other fandom nerds!:

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~Love, PinkBoots

[rivalsforlife]

ok I'm in a bitchy mood I'll just say it. with the obligatory "I'm posting on the internet" disclaimer that a) this is a Personal Rant to express my Personal Feelings and is not intended as an attack on anyone else or their personal feelings and b) at the end of the day I have no intention or desire to do any gatekeepy things anyone can do whatever they want.

but I find it so incredibly baffling how many times I see aroace things that seem to be operating under a completely different definition of aroace than I am. I was like "maybe I'm overreacting" and then check the tag to see if I'm the only one feeling like this and getting hit with some ask blog where someone is describing their experience of feeling lonely and wishing they weren't aroace and wishing they could have romantic feelings with the response of "some aroace people want to have relationships!" like that isn't The Problem. saw a post going around talking about "loveless aroaces" and "non-partnering aroaces" being valid and asked "what is that supposed to mean" and the definition is basically what I thought being aroace was this entire time. which is having an incapability of feeling romantic love, and not wanting to be in a relationship.

it's like sometimes I go onto ao3 and see ship fics tagged with one or both of the characters being aroace and sometimes these are basically the same as a romantic fic but with some kind of "not liking traditional romantic norms" which is a perfectly fine thing to be but I feel is a different thing from Not Feeling Attraction which is what I thought this was the entire time.

the thing about being aroace is that I am not going to be in a romantic relationship because I don't desire to be in a romantic relationship. I find it personally difficult to wrap my head around the idea of qprs and honestly don't find the possibility of being in one myself likely, because the odds of me finding another aroace person who I would feel comfortable living with long term are incredibly small. being aroace was totally fine when I was a teenager who could see my friends every day and could laugh at them having romantic troubles knowing I wouldn't have to go through that, but it is significantly less fun when your real-life friend group dwindles down to "one person who takes several days to respond to your texts" and you are facing the frankly terrifying prospect of being totally alone for the rest of your life. and it's worse when you have social anxiety to begin with, making finding friends a challenge. and it's definitely worse when you're having to grapple with the question of "am I actually aroace or am I just so severely socially stunted that I can't form genuine relationships with other people".

and that feeling of isolation isn't helped when you go to the people who claim to feel the same way you do, but then a lot of them actually mean "I don't like romantic social norms, here is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with but we don't consider it a romantic thing," or "I don't experience attraction, but at the end of the day I'd be happy being in a relationship with someone who was in love with me and can reciprocate in a way they'd be satisfied with despite not having an active desire to", or "I experience attraction so rarely but it does happen to me sometimes, so don't worry!". and then you see the specific posts saying that you actually are an even nicher microlabel that people *in the community of people who don't experience romantic attraction* apparently have a problem with.

"Non-partnering aroace" "loveless aroace" isn't that just being aroace?? have they changed the definition when I wasn't looking so that isn't the default anymore????? am I losing it completely??? do I need to turn off the internet and go to bed instead of obsessing about the things other people do that is ultimately irrelevant to how I live my life???

[a-trick-or-two-with-lepers]

I finally watched Swedish Christ Superstar

Remember how I did a whole deep dive into the 2018 one? Yeah well, I was gonna try to do that with this version, but it is so unbelievably, completely, utterly, insanely unhinged that I just had to have my post about it match the energy. So without further ado, here are my literal first reaction notes to Jesus Christ Superstar (2014 Swedish Arena Tour).

Overture-

• Ooh the stuttering guitar is so metal

• Love the outfits, give me more apocalyptic leather headbanging nonsense

• Love how the choreo goes with the music rather than pure immediate chaos

• Admittedly the orchestra could be a bit better, but not terrible

• The shopping cart is my favorite character

• This feels almost interpretive

• Ok. Jesus is hot

• Draculacore

• Is he orgasming?

• I think that's an appropriate tone to be set

• I will say, I like productions with more color, but I see the style they're going for and I don't dislike it

Heaven on their minds-

• I like how they translated the lyrics to sound good in Swedish

• Also gives extra context and connotation to the words

• Love judas' mesh top!

• Really good singer wow

• This is how the song is supposed to be sung!!!

• I like boys with long hair hehehehe

• Symbolic that jesus is sleeping while judas is trying to get him to listen. Shows how closed off and resigned to his fate he was

• And also how no matter how hard judas tried he would never really be heard

• Painted nails!

• The subtitles said fuck? Lol

• I seriously love this guy's voice

• Oh my god they're so boyfriends

What's the buzz/Strange thing mystifying-

• Jesus is serving so much cunt

• So. Much. Touching.

• AHAHAHAHAGSVSBAZHDVWH THEYRE SO BOYFRIENDS HWWGGA

• Yes Maria feed him that orange

• "A man like him" you mean... 💅?

Everythings alright-

• I really like Mary's voice and look

• Mommy vibes fs

• He's in the shopping cart hhahahaha

• The masculine urge to sleep in a shopping cart while wearing shades

This jesus must die-

• Caiaphas sounds like a toad LMAO

• "It's seduction! It's blasphemy!" -Christians watching this 😭

• Caiaphas saying "STOP" such a jumpscare

• They kept the jesus is cool line and for that this is now one of my favorite productions

• AND THEY SAID IT TWICE AM I IN HEAVEN??

• Well I won't be after watching this 😌

• Caiaphas has a pretty cool voice ngl, my timbers are shivered

• HELIKOPTER 🚁 HELIKOPTER 🚁

Hosanna-

• A bit faster rendition that's neat

• Interesting how judas is participating in the fray

• It's so nice to see his character happy for once though

• The jesus balloons are killing me

Simon zealotes/poor jerusalem-

• Ooh it's a fight

• The ladies are sangin and dancin 💃

• THEY SAID FUCK AGAIN

• Well okay I'm just gonna give up on the notion that this play will be family appropriate in any manner, it's better that way anyway

• Pretty cool how the choreo is militaristic, as well as the costuming

• They way Simon is pronounced 😃

• I am unilingual my brain is incapable of not making a joke about that

• Jesus your nail polish is chipping baby fix that

Pilates dream-

• Love pilates robe, very pretty

• Ok but the sparkly suit is better

The temple-

• Fuck counter: 3

• They have a bit more speaking in this version which I really don't mind

• The lyrics make it really clear how the crowds used their connection to God to justify their actions, an issue which is still prevalent today

• Annas shaking that tail go off

• Jesus jumpscare

• He called it "A whorehouse" 💀

• The beggars all have little hand lights, that creates a really cool effect

• Wow the music got really fast

I don't know how to love him-

• Yayy Mary hi Mary hi 😍🥰👋

• Da smoochy???

• Judas ain't gonna be happy bout this

• Her voice is so good!!

• Interesting how jesus is awake for this

• ITS JUDAS HE'S PEEKING

• Uh oh

Damned for all time/blood money-

• OH NO

• MY BOY GOT SLAPPED

• HE JUST WANTED A SMOOCH

• Ok now it just feels like he's betraying him cause he got rejected 😭

• Annas is such a little shit oh my god

• He's giving Draco Malfoy vibes somehow

The last supper-

• Act 2 baby here we go

• Okay so he's dragging them to absolute hell, love that for you jesus

• The girls are FIGHTING!

• "Tell us what happened to the good vibes" I'm loving this translation

• Judas actor once again killing it, he has a really lovely rock voice

• The apostles throwing shade at judas and planning to blame him in the gospels 😙🤌

• This shit crazy

Gethsemane-

• Ok I'm gonna try to be serious for this once

• So far pretty good

• The lyrics are hitting the important parts of the song I feel

• HE GOT THE NOTE!

• Pretty damn good

• My bias still lies with Neeley but that wasn't gonna change really

• I like how he made the g5 actually part of the song rather than separating it. This whole performance is actually very natural and easy to watch

• The last verse goes so incredibly hard

• *rips shirt open*

• 👌

The arrest-

• Here it is the kiss

• Here we go

• Literally the only part of this play I'd seen before

• Okay that's just. So romantic. JESUS kissed JUDAS! What a twist!

• "Why did you date a whore" goddamn

Peter's denial-

• Annas is basically the main character he's in so many songs

Pilate and christ-

• "Yeah we know you're 'hot'" I mean 😏

• Fuck counter: 4

• My notes are seriously lacking I apologize

King herods song-

• Herod is me I am Herod

• Me in my robe on a Monday morning imposing judgement onto others:

• Did they just use a slide whistle?

• Goofy ahh sound effects 💀

• "Fine I'll do it myself- look, no hands 😚"

• He's my favorite

• Herod being silly and goofy:🤪

• Jesus: 😐

• Loved that

Could we start again please-

• Fuck counter: 5

• Not the song I expected it to be in tbh

• Maybe it doesn't hold the same weight in Sweden

• "How are we going to explain it so it looks good on paper?" This is a new angle that is actually really interesting, and reminds me that the Bible is pretty much ancient RPF

• Yay they included the ensemble

Judas death-

• "For one measly kiss" I'd call that kiss a lot of things but measly does not come to mind

• He is talking to jesus instead of christ

• Something tells me this production is not very religious 🤔

• Which I am very ok with

• He's goin through it

• He's got the rock screams going on 🤘love it

• RIP Judas, too gay to live 😔

Trial before pilate-

• He called Jesus a clown, bitch this isn't Godspell

• Ouchie

• That's a lot of blood

• It's easy to overact in the role of pilate and this guy isn't doing that, which is good

Superstar-

• I prefer when Judas is wearing white in this song, but the glittery red robe kinda slays ngl

• And once again judas is a pretty boy

• They kept the "jesus christ, Jesus christ, who are you what have you sacrificed" line in English

• Oop the robe is off

• Get those dance moves judas damn

• This is insane

• What is happening

• Why am I turned on

John 19:41-

• Ooh this is rather scary

• The way its literally just him on stage suffering is pretty intense

• IT IS FINISHED

Hope you enjoyed sluts

[ottiliere]

oh my goodness your dios.. what a delight to see someone so fully invested in phantom blood dio wow. i am very happy. i love your 3D dios. really makes me want to sculpt him as well

Do it... clay is cheap bake it in the oven paint with 10 dollar set of acrylics your life will never be better. I adore phantom blood Dio so very much... years ago saw someone coin the term “phantom blood purist” and it's so funny I think about it literally every time I enter a Dio cycle. There are many aspects that go into this preference of course, and upon a great amount of time pondering i can say confidently that this is because mainly that:

1) I love history (especially the fin de siècle) and I love thinking about him in relation to Victorian values/etiquette/sociology in general... there's something so special about a society that enabled such a gross disparity of wealth&poverty while being so inherently pretentious that its asinine etiquette rules would completely elude you unless you were raised in an aristocratic family or had access to etiquette books. Dio absolutely read a great amount of these before going to the Joestar mansion btw, even before his father snuffed it I think. God help him he would not be doomed to look like a slovenly ill-bred gamin if and when he needed to manipulate the upper classes. I really can't think of a way for him to have developed these skills enough to outclass Jonathan otherwise. god and like thinking about him as a barrister too with his profligate fashion sense you just KNOW he gets drawn that way into all of the court sketches that go in all the newspapers since everyone loved to read about crime and there were a million papers for this in England alone... he'd get caricatured so bad sometimes and he is NOT happy about this.

2) You can probably tell from my indifference to the rest of the parts (except sbr; I call this the "diego rule") that I'm not the biggest fan of fantastical elements and I'm much more interested in interpersonal conflict/relationships in general... PB is extremely unique to the rest of the series because for five WHOLE chapters absolutely nothing abnormal happens and we just get to see Dio harassing Jonathan and his girlfriend until Jonathan snaps and humiliates him so bad in beating him up that he makes Dio cry. and then Dio kills his dog. Like it's literally just some impoverished child abuse victim bullying a spoiled rich kid who wanted to be his friend because lalala sunshine daisies only knows what "poverty" is from reading Oliver Twist and has no conceptual understanding of what the real-world implications of that are. That was the character development that needed multiple chapters to develop it's so fucking awesome. like yeah I'd read an entire novel of just this alone happening and how it impacts their relationship as adults no vampirism needed. I reread "dio the invader" so frequently I'm surprised the spine of my jojonium copy isn't cracked at the exact endpoint of it. I just adore him interacting with Jonathan so much it's hard to remove him from that… that's his FOIL... all the stories (some "AUs") I make with Dio involve the way he and Jonathan gravitate each other to some degree. we get the clearest view of who he is in the face of someone who is the polar opposite of himself. 🤯

2) This iteration of him is the closest degree of separation he has from his "humanity" (childhood), thus

3) I find him to be the most interesting, endearing, etc., version of him walking around, given that... well. behaviors stem from somewhere... the thematic & active severance of himself from a species he is fundamentally incapable of connecting with due to the way he adapted to help him tolerate his childhood... from his point of view I can't imagine that there is one convincing reason for him to continue being human after given the opportunity to deviate from it (despite likely still being inebriated when he vamped himself — very much an impulsive decision since he had, what, an hour or two to think that through? drunk?). If everyone's underneath him, yes, after the fact the choice seems extremely fitting. Maybe he'll cultivate a vast swathe of worshippers and disciples that obey his every command. Maybe he'll rule the world. And then, maybe, he will start to feel genuinely content for the first time in his life. But probably not. That's the drawback of having something fundamentally missing from within you.

4) He lacks a certain type of introspective awareness that 100 years alone in a box might enable him to develop... he's very animalistic to me and possesses a precarious/immature/nonexistent grasp on his emotions just given the fact that he exhibits enraged outbursts from perceived ego wounds (in both childhood and adulthood) + struggles with alcoholism due to an incapacity to self-soothe any sort of negative emotion that makes it past the self-aggrandizing filter he can't help but see life through; he really isn't in conscious control of anything happening inside of him despite needing control over everything and everyone so he can get exactly what he wants, and deserves, always. PB paints a very dim and pathetic view of his character by allowing us to see when he's most "vulnerable", which is the thing he likely hates being the most, so getting to see scenes where he's walking around publicly intoxicated and disparaging himself for acting like his father (implied: again), who he hates, and attacking men with a wine bottle for evoking the concept of his mother, who he also kind of hates but lacks the cognizant cogency to dissolve whatever cognitive dissonance is causing this mental incongruence, rules. he rules

tl;dr SDC dio is "iconic" but I feel like he misses a lot of the charm he had in part one, removed from the context of the society that had such rigid social boundaries and rules of decorum, in addition to his maladaptive approach to interpersonal relationships, his substance abuse issues, his humbling foil... he's too "cool" for me. In the end SDC dio is simply not my Dio... he is someone else's Dio. And that's okay.

[dave2olkat]

Hey, are you up for receiving an entire freaking essay about how you write Dirk and how fucking incredible it is? That was a rhetorical question, YOU'RE GETTING IT ANYWAY.

So. Dirk Strider. The absolute moron who sends himself back every iteration, gets increasingly splintered as a result, and is way too emotionally compromised to do anything about it at this point. I've noticed a lot of the characters draw inspiration from beyond canon, so we can refer to this Dirk as a sort of Ultimate self if I am not mistaken. The guy has memories from all past iterations rattling around his skull after all, and it is MESSING HIM UP BIG TIME!

Like, the man is going by a script at this point. Do this, and this happens as a result. Say this to a person and they'll react that way. Let Roxy leave so you can stay with Dave alone, stab him in the back, and leave him for dead so he gets off the empire's radar, make sure he doesn't actually bite it, and then he'll end up in the position most advantageous to him. He has a ship! A crew! A small support system! He's living his best life this iteration, and he has DIRK to thank for that! Never mind that most of his relationships were completely destroyed in the fallout. Never mind that he has accumulated major trauma from the carapacian war, and was betrayed by someone who he thought he could count on for anything, that's not important. Oh yeah, he hates Dirk's guts now, but he always calculated with that loss. He sacrificed his brother's trust in him and it sucks, it sucks and nobody understands, but it was to give him a happy life, so at the end of the day Dirk's the selfless hero!

And with that, I've accumulated my thoughts on what I think went through his head when he went through with this batshit awful plan. Dirk's literally so wrapped up in himself, that he can only think in terms of other's gain versus personal cost. I don't think he's selfish, no, from a certain perspective, he's far from it, because he's sacrificing the few things he holds dear for the few people he actually gives a shit about in all these loops. His relationships with said people. It's just that he is INCAPABLE of seeing how his decisions and attempts at helping them cause more pain and anguish, and eventually, the doom of the timeline. It's like at one point, he stopped seeing them as real people, with psyches that can be damaged, and feelings that can be things beyond 'I hate you now because you hurt me', and instead thinks of them as merely... puppets.

Because he's the only one who remembers. He's the one who can see the bigger picture, while his friends and family are caught up in the mundanity of each loop, living lesser lives, being lesser people. If only they knew, if only they understood like him, maybe they could be on equal footing, but no, he'd never wish this existence on anyone, and besides, even if they had all that intel they'd never really get it, because they aren't him. So it falls on him to save everyone, him and only him, no Grimmage, just because you have a handy helmet that spouts bullshit about the loops at you does not mean you have all the answers. This is Dirk's mission, Sollux would just fuck it up. Everybody needs to stay out of the goddamn way, you're saving this goddamn timeline. All those previous ones you doomed? They were just test runs, you know what you're doing now.

I just... LOVE how AUTHENTIC he feels in your fic. Like, I look at this guy and say 'Ah yes, that right there is textbook Dirk Strider behavior,' but you wrote him with motivations and a mindset that I can see combined with his Ultimate status. He's an incredible antagonist, and I can't wait for him to show up again, because I need Dave to go up to this guy and somehow slap some sense into him. Unlikely but hey. I want a happy ending for him too, let me hope.

 Okay, first of all, I loved this ask! I've put a lot of time and effort into writing Gold Pilot so if anyone has other essay-length asks or comments about the fic, go ahead and submit them, this monster AU deserves the attention. For anyone who hasn't read the fic, it's a Davesolkat Rebellion/Time Loop Au but it also will go deep into the other characters as well, particularly the Strider-Lalondes, so if you're into that, give it a read!

Okay, now onto Dirk- he's one of my fav characters in Homestuck okay, he's so complex! And I felt like they did him dirty in Beyond Canon and the Epilogues but at the same time they explored some hella interesting aspects of his character that have been in the main comic there all along, same with everyone else. Gold Pilot is MY take on how everyone's true 'Ultimate Self' would work and also them reaching their 'fullest potential' in a way? The situation is much different than in canon, of course, but overall I will try to deconstruct both, the Ultimate Self thing AND the classpect of their God Tier selves. This will happen to everyone, not just Davesolkat, though we WILL focus on those three because I have Davesolkat brainrot and Dave WILL be the only POV character because ‘unreliable narrator who might not have an idea of what’s going on’ is the best trope.

But Dirk- it's funny that you call him an antagonist because he's not that in the story. An antagonist opposes the hero/protagonist in some way, they're there as an obstacle to achieve their ultimate goal, but here's the thing, Dirk WANTS what everyone else wants. He wants an end to the Time Loops, he wants to protect his family and friends and help them reach the best version of themselves, and he also wants to kill the Condesce. Mainly because she's the one who kills Dave, Roxy and Rose, but also, because he recognizes that she's the TRUE threat in this AU (as far as we know). So no, technically, Dirk ISN'T the villain and he's helping everyone else fullfill their own goals, the role they will play in the Rebellion as it is, and he knows full well that they WON'T achieve that unless he's there to provide support.

You're right that he's sacrificing everything else to achieve this. He sacrificed Dave's trust on him, and Dave IS in probably the best position he can be because of it. Does Dave realize this at this point of the story? Probably not. There's hints that Dirk's actually going to be working with them further in on the timeline, but right now? Right now Dave thinks his brother is the person who ruined his life.

You're right in saying that Dirk's so completely wrapped up in himself, but I don't think he's incapable of seeing how his attempts at helping everyone are actually hurting them. I think he's well aware of this, and a part of him is well-aware that none of them will ever forgive him, but he's fine with this because this makes him an even more selfless hero. He does treat them as puppets, but I think he knows that he NEEDS them to be certain versions of themselves so they can properly fight the Condesce. Also, he's aware that even in this, they have a certain level of personal choice. Would he have been forced to stab Dave on the back if he HADN'T become a Treschutioner? We know Dave could have become an entertainer guy instead, and he would have STILL ended up with the Rebels. We've explored this with the Iteration Logs of the Solluxes, but the timelines are less a straight road where everything always happens the same way and more a collection of choices that give out wildly different results while still ending in the same way any way because the Condesce is such a menace, with everyone dead.

And he's another fun thing, Dirk doesn't ACTUALLY know about the helmet. Sollux has specifically kept him in the dark about it because he's convinced Dirk would exploit it if he knew about it, especially because the helmet's not only a device that spouts info about the timeloops. It's a goddamn database containing the research that EVERYONE Sollux has been able to contact has done in the past, what? 286 years or so. So yes, it's quite a powerful tool, but you're right, Mage doesn't have all the answers. And you can say that Mage's actually some kind of cheat code. It allows Sollux to have access to the memories of the loops WITHOUT all the trauma and emotional baggage that come with them, so if anything, I suppose that Dirk would think of it as the coward's way out.

Sollux quite literally decided to divide himself into two different people (or as different as two people can be when one does have all the memories of the other one) and has basically locked the part of himself that DOES remember in a digital prison/dimension, where it cannot harm anyone or control anyone else. What this has done to Mage, well, I think we’ve seen it already, so yes, one could argue that this is an incredibly selfish thing that Sollux did, meanwhile Dirk isn’t afraid to live with the consequences of his own actions, which automatically makes him the better man/hero.

As far as Dirk knows, Sollux DOES remember, he's just, you know, someone who will not do what is necessary to save the timeline. He's soft, he spends so much time trying to get along with everyone that he allows the people he loves to get killed every single time (though Dirk's doing the exact same thing, one could argue). They're more foils to each other that they're enemies, and it will be a lot of fun once we actually see them interact, because while Dirk does think Sollux is as easily manipulated as everyone else, and that he doesn't have what it takes to save everyone which is why it falls on HIM, Dirk does know that Sollux is the only person who knows him in a way. Who can recognize the sacrifice he's making and just what's at stake here, if he doesn't take exactly the same path he's taken every time to ensure everyone will be able to fight for as long as they can.

You're right on the money on the 'Dirk thinking all the other iterations are test runs for the real deal', because Dirk HAS found pretty much the 'best path' for everyone to take. We'll see more of it when we meet Rose, who IS still a very powerful seer in this AU and who also takes after him in a way, but yeah, the fantastic thing about Dirk is that he IS helping everyone and he does care. He's on Dave's side. He just, you know, also Dirk. That's why I've always found fascinating about his character, and what I liked about him in the actual comic. I feel like Beyond Canon let go of that fundamental part of him (the fact that he DOES care) and I'm using Gold Pilot to basically fix that? Basically how I think it should've been handled.

As for the happy ending- I don't think it's much of a spoiler that Gold Pilot WILL have one, because it's in the tags themselves lmao. 'Earn Your Happy Ending', they will get there, but it will take them a long time, and it won't happen in this iteration even. Dave WILL slap some sense into Dirk, but who knows, maybe it'll be Dirk who slaps some sense into him too before he does.

Once again, thank you for this analysis! I wouldn't say I'm the authority on how to write any of the Homestuck Characters, but I'm glad I at least got Dirk's character right :) as I said, he's one of my faves and his relationship with Dave will be explored and milked for all of its angst and comfort in this fanfic.

[swallowerofdharma]

Berserk, chapter 054 Reunion in the Abyss (深淵の再会, Shin'en no Saikai)

"Crying for other people and thinking about other people. That might just be a fantasy. But if it's a person with a heart like that, even if that person is a demon or a human, I'll accept that person." Miki Makimura in Devilman Crybaby 2018.

Remember when Guts said to Rickert “you could never really hate Griffith”? I felt called out completely.

As a reader, I am empathetic to the pain Guts carries, and I recognize his ambivalent emotions, the ways he has to make himself a certain way, how he can’t make himself forget the eclipse.

And I find myself very close to Casca - one of the most unbearable moments for me reading was to see her point of view in the dream sequence, the moment her heart and mind broke.

And I can never hate Griffith. And that’s why this story keeps me on my toes so much more than others, makes me think and think and feel so much.

Hate is such not the point. If you read a story and your point is hate, or to assign roles such as heroes and villains, then I don’t think Berserk is for you. (There’s an infinite amount of fantasy out there built precisely for that). Or you are missing out certain ideas Miura was painstakingly building and, if we are going to see the ending he had envisioned, you probably won’t be happy with it.

Berserk is a fantasy story written against the idea of evil, against the naïve point of view on giving judgment and punishment, against those common and institutionalized conservative practices born to maintain order and status quo and to relieve people from the burden of reflecting too much. These habits have enormous consequences in the way we prioritize condemnation, punishment and exclusion instead of forms of critique, understanding, acceptance and inclusion, to find, prevent and fight against the circumstances that drive people to make bad choices.

So yes, I can never hate Griffith because I looked at what Miura showed me with a non-conventional and non-conservative understanding of the possibilities of framing characters and stories.

Misunderstanding someone and that someone ending being alone, not being seen as deserving of empathy, love and acceptance, shunning people, people being rendered incapable of expression or communication, not being able to ask for help, not being able to face suffering and sorrow in others, isolation and loneliness are investigated so much in Berserk, together with all the possible ways and consequences of child abuse and neglect, it is really hard to not believe that Miura was making a point. The idea of evil is making us blind to the very real and common things that are going to facilitate our weaker behaviors and more basic instincts.

How many of us would have let Nina be herself, weak, desperate and scared and constantly making selfish decisions and still would have accepted her time and time again like Luca does? How many writers would have discarded her? But Miura included her in the story in a way that isn’t for comic relief or to ridicule her. There are so many examples, this is just an easy one.

I’d like to write down more of my impressions. But it is going to be a slow process and I will do it only if I can find pleasure in it. So these drafts are probably going to be done at whim and out of order.

Let’s go back to the scene above from chapter 54 for now.

Guts is taking in Griffith’s conditions after a year of imprisonment and torture. When he says his name, Griffith opens his eyes and stares sharply and a little crazed at Guts, lifting his arm to try and strangle him. Guts doesn’t even register the gesture as menacing, hugging him and starting to cry. Griffith observes his face and lowers his hand, his expression changes completely. But he isn’t able to cry. His tearless eyes are another detail that adds so much depth to this scene, where the one expressing extreme emotions and pain is Guts. Griffith can’t cry even now and this is one of the rarest instances when someone else does it for him, only it took him being destroyed for that to happen. I am amazed at how much depth Miura is able to communicate with gestures and expressions alone.

I am also glad that, immediately after, we see also Charlotte’s and Casca’s reactions. The princess has tears in her eyes too, even without fully understanding the situation. Casca is in a cold sweat, trembling because she is more attuned to darkness and she is intuitively aware of the horrors of that place. I really like Charlotte’s character and I think she plays a big role in the story that gets overlooked. Since the moment she is introduced, there are four main characters, not three, on the stage of the romantic drama. So I really want to talk about her soon.

[sansloii]

HOW WOULD YOUR OCS BE MISINTERPRETED BY FANDOM ( stolen from @arcxnumvitae )

Mikah

Exaggerate all their personality traits--especially the Anger. Goes from pillow princess that does no wrong to someone that will punch holes in the wall in the "this is never sexy at all what is wrong with you" sorta way.

Also apparently gaslights their romantic partners. A lot. Because they can be manipulative with targets and people they are actively stealing from. No I will not show proof of that because google is free :)

Penny

Angry Latina that has absolutely zero nuance and is hyper aggressive when Mikah and Evan so much as breathe. so she hates them.

Hates men in general, honestly, because she's a lesbian and cannot be friends with them. Every time she makes a face that is not 100% happy around them is zoom and enhanced because they want to prove that she's a man-hating woman.

Wynn

The way they would disrespect this sweet man hurts my spirit because these people would:

Make him stupid despite multiple instances of Wynn navigating difficult personal conversations and making complex choices. This includes the whole babying thing that would make my skin crawl.

he is quiet so therefore he doesn't speak. No like he's mute. Cannot communicate at all. this also means he's slow for some reason

Also make him hypersexual with no fucking rhyme or reason. They see "he can be rough" and that's it. Off to the races. they would completely butcher him and explain it with "instinct"

Evan

Pussy/Bussy being the therapy he needs he needs to stay in a relationship because of the VERY FEW relationships he's in that started with sex. Like legitimately saying, with their whole chest, that he'll immediately become Better and ignore, the disagreements, and the ghosting, and the lack of accountability, and the shit explanations for his behavior--

also turns him into a raging drunk or something (because of his dependency on alcohol)... like specifically that. and make him super sleazy and incapable of taking no as an answer.

Dakota

Also hates men

people would 100% ship her with Joseph despite Joseph being married. And then turn around and misunderstand their familial relationship, ship them HARDER, and then start drama which results in calling her a homewrecker.

they would draw this woman with MASSIVE tits. And if you correct them, you're an awful human being for erasing her big boobs. even though she doesn't? have size triple-E knockers???? but you're wrong for that.

did i mention she hates men? because she does.

Joey

no personality traits outside of "Lera is my soulmate". You'd think Lera literally has his hand up Joey's ass with the way people describe his behavior

Or! Dakota has her hand up his ass. Like Lera and Koko take turns

they would not know what to do with his trauma. and that scares me so i will not think about it.

Roderick

He's a biker so of course he's a misogynist and sexist :) his DEAD wife was the exception :) no I will not provide proof of that because google is free and i am never wrong

that's it. that's the take.

Andris

uwu he's misunderstood. Of COURSE charming and manipulating your partners is bad but. He's hot. So if they don't forgive him for it, it's their fault and we should shit all over those characters.

on the flipside: he's the literal devil in human skin and super predatory. he is just waiting to assault someone.

very polarizing. People either love him or will tell you you're going to hell for liking him. and the next day, you have a callout written about you because you like him so therefore, you're okay with and condone everything he does. It doesn't matter if you understand he's an awful person and can objectively look at him--you're a piece of shit.

[actual-changeling]

you’re the only person i feel comfortable saying this to. but i feel like a fake fan for not wanting to/not engaging with tlou2 content. i don’t like the story and i don’t like the characters/characterizations. it makes me really sad and uncomfortable at times. i won’t be watching season 2 when it comes out. i’m sure the making of it and the actors will all be incredible it obviously has nothing to do with them.

i know there’s like a whole thing where you don’t have to engage with content you don’t like blah blah but it just feels like *some* (emphasis on some, not generalizing here) tlou fans really get mad with people who don’t like tlou2, they think that they don’t understand it and are just mad there isn’t a happy ending and just hate abby. which, idk, i would never expect a happy ending of an apocalypse story. but there are so many problems with the story that i cannot get over. and yeah. i don’t really think **** should have died (asterisks for spoiler). honestly these people make me want to engage with tlou2 even less.

i love tlou1 and it’s been such an outlet for me and for so many others with parental trauma. i think it’s okay to want to protect that.

i wonder if you think it’s okay and still good etiquette (for lack of better word) to not engage with tlou2 for these reasons?

i know you’ve spoken about tlou2 before and your take on it. i wouldn’t ask you to go through this all again, but i just felt like this was a safe outlet to say all this. i’m sorry if this was a bother!!!

It is completely fine to send me asks about this, don't worry! I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to do so.

I've watched the show and played both games, and it is always okay to dislike any aspect of a canon universe, no matter what your reasoning is.

A tiny part of me is still riding the denial train and hopes that Craig will at the very least vastly improve the plot if not change it, but since Neil is also involved I doubt it. The first game was perfect as a stand-alone, and just like you, the characters and the world helped me work through a bunch of issues.

It didn't need a part 2, especially not one that demolished everything they had built. The one we got also destroyed some of the comfort the first game had simply because once you know how the story ends, you will never be able to see it again like you did before.

Pedro and Bella will be amazing in season two, that am sure of, and I hope Kaitlyn can shield herself from the hate she will undoubtedly receive.

The fandom is, like you said, very. sensitive about part 2 opinions that aren't "I loved it and want Abby to rail me", and it would be hilarious if it weren't sad and didn't involve those people harassing others. After playing part 2, I realised that 90% of the tlou content I see anywhere is so removed from what is actually happening in the game that I cannot take anyone who praises it seriously.

For some reason, many seem incapable of separating themselves from people's opinions about the game. If you told me you liked the game and constantly talk about it, sure, fine, I am not a toddler, I can co-exist or even be friends with someone who has a different opinion on a video game. 99% of the tlou2 fandom just cannot do the same and I have no idea why, they take any and all non-positive takes and treat them like I personally insulted their mother.

The pure game mechanics of it, the infected, the environmental designs, the details—all of that is beautiful and I genuinely enjoy playing Ellie's Seattle Days because of that; I just try not to think about why she's there. But for a story-driven game, good mechanics and nice graphics aren't enough to balance out the shit writing.

Even if we ignore the Death tm, there are so many other issues, including various flavours of homophobia and transphobia (that I also never saw anyone talk about??? and I mean transphobia in the writing itself, not the characters), plot issues, pacing issues, horrible character development, and much, much more.

Not liking the game and feeling uncomfortable watching/playing it makes perfect sense, and you 100% have the right to block any and all content related to part/season 2. I know you know that, but sometimes it really does help to have someone else tell you something you technically already know (half of my therapy sessions consist of me and my therapist talking about stuff I already know).

No one—and I mean no one—gets to decide that for you. Anyone who demands you expose yourself to something that makes you feel like shit is an asshole and has no validity.

I hope this wasn't too rambly and turned out somewhat coherent. My inbox is always open for you (or others) to talk about anything tlou related. I've weathered several waves of hate from those people and I couldn't give less of a fuck about it.

[lafcadiosadventures]

Madame Putiphar Groupread. Book Two, Chapter XXX

Fatal Fate versus Divine Voluptousness

The Origin of a Better World, illustration for Ottavio Scarlatini's Homo symbolicus (1695) (please leaf through this book if you have the time and like me love allegorical emblems)

Patrick returns home, completely wrecked after the ceremonial degradation, and a walk home that however brief must have felt like a via crucis. His clothes mark him as a degraded man. I imagine the dirty looks, the insults and more from his former colleagues who now think him a murderer, seducer of women and a robber.

Deborah’s compassionate reaction to his state and humiliating clothes break him down. He returns psychologically to a conversation they had back in Ireland, when they were discussing which of the two was the doomed party and who was dragging the other to misfortune, a misfortune they could be spared of if they broke ties with the Doomed One? In the light of what has just happened, Patrick thinks it’s him. Poetry gives him wings and he expresses his despair like this:

“I am deadly, do you see! Let me roll from one abyss to another on my own; do not bind your life which without me would be beautiful, to mine, which shall be horrible till the end.”

(tr. @sainteverge )

these lines made me think of the opening verses of El desdichado. Here Patrick speaks to Deborah, but he also seems to speak to the reader, and perhaps incarnates more than just himself. We have seen many young men of Romantic French Literature looking deep into their souls and wondering if their problems (which are of a sociopolitical nature) are due to some tragic, constitutive fatal flaw that makes them not only incapable of happiness, but also harmful to those closest to them (like Lucien, a creature of a vastly different nature than Pat's, realizing how easily, how natural harming others comes to him. He is deadly and he doesn’t even intend to be so, it’s in his nature. Patrick is less about thoughtless bad choices and selfishness, but this seems like a common thread in Romanticism, there is something beyond the character's control, be it fate, or a poisonous nature, that not only hinders them, but more importantly, those they love. Why does this trope keep repeating itself in this in this context of great sociopolitical change and agitation, where things seem to escape the grasp of our reason and will.... seems like zeitgeist, more than a literary trend)

Deborah’s response is that she would always choose to bind her fate to his, no matter what. Is a life of comfort and worldly success worth anything without the One she loves above everyone else? Besides, she argues, it is her the one who has forsaken him, but she also doesn’t care about that, because being doomed together is a life so much more worth living than happiness in isolation from each other. She also argues that true love has to endure adversity, a love that only lasts while your partner is joyful isn’t real love either. She explains her role as a lover in rousseaunian/catholic terms, she has been put on earth to lighten the burden of her man's sorrow, he has to let her share his pain. The only condition Deborah would accept to let Patrick leave her, is if he believed she was the source of his unhappiness, or that in interfering with Fate she was making things worse. She even proposes he abandons her in times of joy, and returns to her when he is unhappy, her arms will always nurture him back to joy. Deborah is. Completely addicted to him, she would accept such a sorry role because anything is better than not seeing him again.

Patrickpassionately appologizes and responds: Stay if you want to immolate yourself. He admits he wants to drive her away from him because she is the only source of happiness, what is tying him to life, and he wants to die. And she is the only thing in the world his soul isn’t sick of. Patrick is trying to protect her from his depressive nature. (here the Dark Fate seems to take the form of untreated depression, Patrick is doomed because he is sick and has no idea how to deal with his sickness)  

Deborah then reveals she is pregnant. She can perhaps anticipate what Patrick’s reaction will be, because she doesn’t even address the fact that he just told her he sometimes want to die and drive her away from him because of this.

Patrick has a wild moodswing. Deborah's words bring him back to life in a way. He strips himself of his humiliating outfit, he tramples it, he showers Deborah with kisses. While doing so he gives a vital, perhaps kind of pagan sermon. He shouldn’t be surprised to be given such joy because god hasn’t actually denied him anything. And more startlingly for a catholic, listen to this beauty:

“God is the source of all voluptuousness”

He adds, like a true follower of Rousseau, “and the world is the source of all tribulations” Hell is other people, as later philosophers will say. Sensual pleasure and joy are nothing to feel guilty about since they are god given. the World, as a Cultural Entity, is what makes Evil possible. This Joy must be protected at all cost from Other Men. (aka Villepastour)

His vitality lasts enough for him to say he will know how to defend this god given source of joy. What follows is sadly less vital: they will hide their child, they will shield him from the world and mundane evil, that’s the only way to guarantee their child’s happiness.

Deborah agrees. I cannot judge them too harshly because in their situation it is very natural to feel that isolated, and in fact, after the horrors of the Home (actually Palace, not really a Home) as Prison, their venturing into the outside world has indeed been mostly negative. But this reaction seems thanatical. Is leaving France in secret no longer possible? Do they imagine all of Europe would be hostile to them? Is there no where to run, since monarchies are everywhere? (beacuse they don’t dream, like other Borelesian characters, of life outside of Europe) In a way, they yearn to recreate a Home Prison of Their Own for their child, even if they envison it as safe and joyful, it involves hiding and concealment and isolation,,, and not letting the child explore the world for his own. Again, the mindset seems like a comprehensible defense mechanism.

In a deeply touching and beautiful paragraph, Patrick confesses being a young father has been a lifelong dream of his. He plans a paradise life for just the three of them. Their youth will make them playmates of their child, the three of them will live in complete happiness together. Patrick wants none of that patriachal authority bestowed by old age, he wants to be a peer to his child, play together, enjoy life and nature the three of them, shielded from all social evils.

"(...)my constant desire was to have a son in my youth. Oh! what would I care to be a father later in life, to have sons who’d only know me dull and decrepit, who’d enter life when I’d descend into my tomb; who would miss me just when they need my solicitude; sons whom I’d never see grow into men, whose careers I wouldn’t be able to follow, whom I wouldn’t be able to support in the face of adversity. “I do not want a son who trembles at the sound of my austere voice, and who pities my white hair, and who keeps it shut in front of me. It is a friend that I want, a companion in life who loves and follows me in all places; who is young like me, and I fiery like him; who shares my games, my work, my illusions, my pain, my delights and even my debauches; finally who keeps no secrets from me in his heart, and I none in my heart from him. (...) He’ll be as beautiful as you, Deborah; he’ll be as beautiful as your soul! You’ll play together; he’ll be your doll; we’ll all three play together, without arguing ever. (...)"

(tr. by @sainteverge !!)

There's beauty, love, solidarity, camaradery, and of course a refusal of being a sombre source of grim authority for his son. The mention of his debauches is,,, interesting but I imagine he means he wants his son to trust him enough to share the stories of the adventures he will have, with him (so the isolation will not be complete after all) A son is not a doll, but, yeah, a beautiful paragraph, and an interesting example of Patrick, probably like a Wertherian Romantic rejecting Traditional Paternal Authority (another key theme in romantic Literature, the role of the father is constantly put into trial) and as is usual with him, traditional masculinity.

[ @counterwiddershins ]

[fullmusicbardsquared]

Tell me more about that little jester guy oc you have and also the cunty person in blue with him

:o]

ok!!!! it is late at night where i am (sorry i didn't see this ask before) so apologies if this is perhapes rambling.

those 2 ocs, The Jester (self-explanatory) and Gittens RIL (blue), are a part of my silly little jukebox musical portal fantasy/isekai..thing. this story specifically involves new wave music, and i am being literal when i say the characters there are personifications of songs. to summarize it without sounding nuts the song characters work on pseudo-video game NPC logic- 'programmed' to do certain things and prioritize them. this applies to narrator characters and narrated ones- like ik this isn't new wave but a hypothetical Piano Man character would be several, the titular piano man and the people he describes in the bar.

so. isekai. The Jester is the main character and he is NOT FROM THIS WORLD!!! as is the trend with isekais. he doesn't remember his past or anything and as such the 80s-ness of the world is like being awoken with blaring synthesizers and lights. Jes finds most of the people there confusing and thinks most of the songs are annoying especially when they lead to him getting hit in the head and stuff, and this 'torment' becomes actually worse as he slowly transforms from 'human' into that little porcelain doll thing. now he has neither memories nor senses! hurrah! zounds! He Hates It So Much. his primary goal is to find out who he is and where he came from, which is hopefully less overwhelming than this world. not to say it's terrible- some people are more nice than others, though there's only one person he actually likes. my goal in writing him is to comedically hit him with hammers.

okay. Gittens RIL Time. i don't know if Gittens is cunty. But he is a personification of the Talking Heads song Born Under Punches, a song that is vaguely surreal but has repeated motifs of trying to catch up and find a stopping point, a place to breathe, 'relax'. Gittens is a government man who does government things- busy work, essentially, forever. this manifests in intense migraines and vertigo. unless he's singing (read: having a breakdown), he acts like this doesn't affect him much, and has a persona of like. flat neutral happiness. his main wish is to not have an inescapable purpose, even if it seems impossible. also he has pigeon wings and a tail but he can't fly. there are 2 reasons for this. 1) there is a pigeon called the parlor roller that is completely incapable of flight, instead somersaulting on the ground there's a metaphor here. 2) it makes him a tumbler pigeon and i love puns. he is my favorite guy i've ever made i think .

sorry this took 2 hours to answer and only has like 50 words . THANK YOU FOR ASKING HOWEVER YAYYYYY :D!!!!!<3