#you really want to see imogen safe and happy you really want her to have everything she possibly could

[yashley]

thinking about ashley’s insight on why fearne was so desperate to save imogen, that she couldn’t bear telling laudna they’d lost her, that she didn’t want to lose imogen’s use to the team against dangers, and while i find the way fearne has this tendency to bypass visceral emotions in favor of something’s functionality, (which is like god. of course that’s how fearne makes sense of emotions. though her parents loved* her so, they still used her entire existence transactionally for a favor, and while nana morri loved* her so, kept her as a part of her collection for her ruidusborn fey status; that’s what love is, right? fearne steals as morri steals but always with the intent of functionality; fearne trying to steal a coin or a pendant of a god, to use that power for later, and that’s the formula of love* that fearne understands while never having to be vulnerable to love), and i just really do wonder just how much of that compulsion for “functionality = importance = love” nurture really resonates with the nature of fearne.

fearne’s nurture dictating how she processes emotions is just so fascinating and yet heartbreaking because it’s like, yes she desperately wants to serve a function for the people she loves, she needs to be of value, otherwise she’ll deserve it when they leave her behind. but it’s just something to me that when her best friend asks something of her, lays a task at her feet, she doesn’t immediately take it, she grows quiet and promptly smooths that worry away so she doesn’t have to admit that this opportunity to be of use, this favor being asked of her, fearne can’t even hypothetically accept it… but how is that possible when that’s who* fearne* is*?

fearne never knowing deep, difficult emotions until she met the crown keepers and bells hells makes it easy to point at moments of great emotion for fearne (laudna’s death, imogen’s dream) and see the way she processes them right then right there than when she recontextualizes later against how emotionally vulnerable she was when it was happening. that ashley’s insight for fearne’s desperation to wake imogen was said to just be about wanting to preserve the precious relationship of other people and then potentially utilizing functionality of a team member’s power for later. that was the only driving force fearne was really valuing when she cried out for imogen to wake up.

yes, fearne sees imogen’s power and equates that to usefulness and that’s the sole motivation in keeping her safe. for them. that’s all. but then it’s the trembling way fearne speaks out that they shouldn’t let imogen go. because imogen… serves a function. they could use her one day. that’s what love is, right? that’s the only reason fearne can be so protective of her. an impulsive fey just cares about practicality. and if imogen needs someone to comfort her until fearne can get her back to laudna then of course that’s all it is. she just wants to see them. happy. that’s what she’s there for.

[angstywaifu]

The Lost Sister - Part 6

Synopsis: Xaden is known as an only child due to his sister who 'died' during the Rebellion. Little do they know she didn't die and has been so close this entire time.

Garrick Tavis x OC A/N: I couldn't resist posting this so close to the other part. I'd say I'm sorry for the slight cliff hanger.... But I'm not. Also I've started writing some of the stuff around threshing, what do you guys think Ophelia's signet should be? What dragon will she have? Also what should we make Garrick's signet? I've seen a few theories on his being pain due to his dragons name, and honestly kinda leaning towards it. As per usual if you want to be on the tag list let me know! And if you guys have any prompts or ideas for small little one off stories/one shots, please pop them in my asks! Would love to give some other ideas a go. Probably leaning more towards our rebellion boys (Xaden, Garrick, Bodhi and Liam), but happy to give some others a go.

The Lost Sister Masterlist | Masterlist

Garrick leans against the wall at the end of the bed, his hazel eyes watching me like a hawk. He hadn’t take his eyes off me since scooping me off the floor. I’m a little disappointed he managed to put a shirt on before bringing me here. I could have used the view while the healer works at cleaning the blood off my face and mending my nose. Every time I flinch or wince as the healer works, I swear I see Garrick’s hand twitch as if wanting to reach out and stop her. The healer walks away to get me some healing balm to take with me to help the last of my nose heal and to help with any bruising that may decide to show up. As she rounds the corner, Garrick pushes off the wall and pulls up a chair next to my bed. He reaches up and tilts my head towards him with his right hand. His eyes assessing my face and the work the healer has done. When he’s satisfied I’ve been healed adequately his eyes meet mine. His hand still lingering on my face.

”You two really did a number on each other.” He says with a chuckle.

”You finally going to tell me what the hell is up with you and Imogen.” I say more aggressively that I intend.

Garrick flinches at my words and his moves his hand from my cheek to his lap as he looks down and starts to fidget with this hands. Some of his dark curls falling in front of his eyes. Definitely not the response he was expecting from me.

“I promise you there is nothing going on-”

”Bullshit.” I spit out cutting him off mid sentence.

He looks up at me shocked and almost scared. Something I can safely say I’ve never seen from Garrick towards me. Granted I don’t think I’ve used that kind of tone towards him before in the entire time I’ve known Garrick, which is pretty much my entire life. He hangs his head and goes back to fidgeting with his hands, the chair creaking under his weight as he moves around. Clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

“For me there’s nothing going on with her. We hooked up a few times, but that was it.” He admits, his shoulders sagging with the confession before looking back up at me with sad eyes that almost plead forgiveness from me. “But I made it clear I wanted nothing serious. But it is becoming clear those hook ups meant more to her than just something casual.”

”You never struck me as the casual hook up type.” I admit to him.

He slowly nods in agreement before looking away again, intently focused on his hands again. “Honestly I’m not. But there are times while you are here where you just need someone. And the person I needed. The person I wanted more than just a casual hook up with.” His eyes flick up to mine, and I swear my heart stops as if I know what’s coming. “Well I kind of thought they were dead till recently.”

His words come out so quietly I barely hear them. But I do. My heart rate starts to pick up as his words sink in and silence falls around us as we just stare into each others eyes. There is no doubt that Garrick meant me. It’s not like anyone else has come back from the dead recently. Garrick who I spent most of my child hood and teenage years crushing over, has just confessed they feel the same way and all I can do is sit here and stare at him like a deer about to get torched by a dragon. And I’m sure my face probably looks similar to that deer right now. His words start to sink in as he stares at me hopefully. His eyes pleading at me to say something. Say anything back to him. But I can’t. All I can do is stare at him in shock, despite wanting to hear this exact confession from him for years.

At that moment the healer comes back with the healing balm, completely oblivious to the tension in the small closed off area. “Here you go lovely, just apply it to any bruising as it appears.” She says sweetly as she hands it to me.

I tear my gaze from Garrick as I stand and take the healing balm from her, before quickly walking out of the room. I hear the chair Garrick was sitting on scrape against the floor. As soon as I’m out the door I take off. I vaguely hear Garrick call my name as I run back to the riders quadrant.

Part 7

Tag List: @riorgail @going-through-shit @fw-gt @bbkissme99

[12pt-times-new-roman]

c3e91

We open on the two teams booking it back toward the Volition hideout.

As the extraction team enters the industrial and residential circle of the city, the populace of Kreviris is in a rising panic, and soldiers are beginning to flood toward the Prime Pillar. Mystics begin to emerge as well, like bees swarming out of a hive. They form a matrix around it and the pillar lights up as a gossamer wave emanates out from it — a wave of dispelling energy breaks the extraction team's invisibility and the detonation team's illusion. They are all visible in the streets of Kreviris.

Their telepathic bond is gone too — that means that the dispel wave is at least 5th level.

Fearne spots that Zathuda appears to have survived the explosion and is riding Gloamglut in surveying circles around the pillar. As their illusion breaks, the dragon lands on the rooftops above them and looks down.

Ashton build update: While transformed by the shard of earth, Ashton's weapons have siege, which lets them deal double damage to structures (like walls). This lets him break down walls like a Looney Toons character so that they can escape the dragon (with a whole-ass building as a casualty, because siege doubles the already-doubled damage of a crit).

Meanwhile, Imogen recasts invisibility and Everoa starts to guide them out.

They tuck into a passage, but Zathuda calls out: "Fearne! It would be my own who fights against me. You really are your mother's daughter. It's a mix of pride and hate I hold for you, Fearne Zathuda! A true chaos being of cold shadow and fiery flame." Gloamglut can't quite find them.

Fearne polymorphs FCG into a slither then turns into one with wildshape, and with Ashton able to glide through the rock with the shard, they are safely burrowed underground and start heading back to where they came from.

As the extraction team gets closer to the edge of the city, walls of stone rise from the ground and encircle them in a 40-foot cage — the wisdom save that Laudna failed was most likely a scry, and they glance up to see a wind-swept, bloodied Liliana descending. Imogen is the only one visible.

When Liliana speaks, it has multiple tones, like an offset harmony as she speaks. "Did you know?" [Did I know what?] (persuasion: 31) "Then why are you here?" It's almost hard to focus on her from the pressure her presence is exerting.

Imogen takes out the locket that Relvin gave her. [You're so powerful. A better whole, mama.] "I don't want Ludinus to see how powerful you are. He'll make you the vessel instead." [Run away. Run away with me.] "I can't. As long as I'm here, I can control what happens around him. If I'm not here, there are so many others, children—" [You're hurt. Please, come with me. Please.] (persuasion: 31) "The Mind is lookin'. I have to think. I'll find you. I'll find you. Go. Go."

She drops the walls and shoots up through the ceiling of the city like a bullet. They start running. In front of them, five reiloran mystics clad in golds, platinums, gems, intricate robes — their crests with bones, runes, and chains. They are so adorned with jewelry that it's difficult to discern their age through the masks. Their outline is impressive, but their legs dangle down like straggly roots without ground. They speak: "There you are. Who are you?"

They turn to Chetney. "We've connected to your essence before..." There was a moment when the red moon seemed to look in to Chetney's soul, and he began to lose control — and it's happening again now, that same feeling. "Sweet feral child, instrument of our desire... who else joins us?"

To Laudna, or Delilah beneath: "Two spirits reside in one vessel. We can give you all that you desire."

As they look at each of them in turn, the Bells Hells' wills turn to paper. They turn to Orym, but before they can speak, he says under his breath: "Nana Morri, I need you, right now. We need to get out of here. All of us. Now."

They turn from Orym to Imogen: "You... you've come home. We're happy to have you. The rest may stay — no. They resist. They must go. Welcome home." And their illusions disappear. They keep running, and make it into a tunnel that climbs toward the top of the city.

Team detonation can see Liliana's walls going up and race toward it — they reach team extraction in time to see the Weave-Mind leave, and the Bells Hells reunite.

Imogen casts sending on Rashina: "We have Everoa. The city is unsafe. How's the safehouse? If it's not safe, we'll take her with us elsewhere." The safehouse is, unfortunately, abandoned. Too hot for us to regather. Rest. Find the allies you promised. Take her with you. Anything of import, let us know.

The Bells Hells resolve to leave the city and return to the secret passage to Exandria. They approach the top of the tunnel, and as they realize Otohan is following them, they start collapsing the tunnel behind them and preparing for battle. (I think this is the point where Matt regrets, just a little bit, giving Ashton this stone-surfing ability.)

Bormodo update: Their speed is 25.

Otohan goes around the tunnel collapse and gets ahead of them. Orym takes point to listen for her — he doesn't hear anything, but sees an echo — "then, it suddenly has color, has form. Otohan is here."

To break!

Begin combat:

Orym goes first, and opens with a hex and then two critical hits on Otohan's backpack.

Otohan takes Chetney down and kills him in one round, but expends a lot of her juice to do so — action surge is down, and so are three of her psionic dice. Matt is absolutely playing her how he should be — with a lone fighter like her, she needs to get someone down in almost every round because the action economy is so desperately stacked against her.

Chetney's last words are, "for four hundred years, I looked up at the moon. Not a bad place to go."

She looks at Imogen. "We have more than enough Ruidisborn to complete our plan. The loss of one candidate will not be impactful."

Fearne activates the spark of Rau'shan, and becomes a creature made completely of fire. While it's active, difficult terrain does not impede her movement.

God, the fact that Matt allows FCG to trade his 7th-level spell slot for preparing revivify definitely says something about how this fight is going thus far — but FCG attempts a revivify on Chetney: "Chetney, you haven't become a legend yet." Resurrection spells work, or at the very least they work on the moon! Chetney's DC goes up to 11, he's back up with 1 hit point, and FCG has no more diamonds.

Imogen's telekinesis tears the backpack off of Otohan, and she pushes it toward Ashton so he can smash it. "Oh, you bitch!" That's anger there. As it's torn off, the shadows around her vanish — she can't use any of her echo knight abilities anymore, so they were all sourced from the backpack.

Orym update: He did get the fey-touched feat, and took misty step for his 2nd level spell. He teleports, does a bait and switch with Imogen, and starts going off on this bitch — advantage for flanking and two back-to-back crits.

Laudna hits a massive blight roll and burns one of her legendary resistances, on top of three eldritch blast hits.

Fearne update: When she hits with an attack or spell, she can choose to deal additional fire damage.

Orym has rolled so many natural 20s this fight, and I can't help but feel that it's excellent poetic justice.

Otohan uses her second action surge, confirming that she's at least a 17th level fighter, but is most likely 20th.

Chetney, on 1 hit point, uses his healing potion on a downed Imogen instead.

Laudna update: The ability is actually called hunger of the shadow shard, meaning it's actually sourced from the piece of the gnarlrock that Delilah absorbed and not Delilah intrinsically. Also, she can keep using it until it works, but once it works it can't be used again. Also also, the energy that emanates from Laudna's hand as she does that is unfamiliar to Otohan, and she looks afraid.

Ashton update: Ashton's gravity rage build does not require a saving throw — it stands to reason that their other rage builds don't either, only the extra abilities do. That makes a lot of sense, actually. Also, when Ashton has the shard activated, they can choose to deal an additional 1d6 fire damage on a hit; and at some point, their chaos burst damage went up to 1d8.

Otohan update: She actually did go super-Sayan, and has an exalted rage form that has an increased AC and, presumably, an increased damage output, bonus to hit, and saves. She also regains both action surges when it happens.

Ashton rage build update: As a reaction, Ashton can use erratic defense and roll 1d4. On one of the results, Ashton takes half damage from the attack and the attacker is pushed 30 feet away.

Oddly enough, she downs Imogen again and doesn't go for a kill shot — instead, she downs Chetney again and doesn't kill anyone, which is going to allow FCG to heal everyone back up.

Otohan having resistance to all damage in this form on top of 25 AC is....... that feels like a little bit too much to me. just barely. But we'll see. (edit from future Note: this is the point where the party begins to lose hope.)

On one of Otohan's blades, when it hits a creature that's concentrating on a spell, the concentration check DC is doubled, which drops Fearne's aura of life. FCG, on their last leg, triggers their stress response. See above.

Genuinely, this is 100% the kind of situation that I would warn new or even half-seasoned GMs about — the kind of situation that you look at and say, "do not ever do this unless you are 100% certain that your group would be okay with it." And I hope, but I know many won't, that the fandom will respond to this in the way that they should, recognizing that this is a group of players who know each other so intimately that the GM can do this and have the table be not only alright but content with it.

As a hail-mary, Imogen casts sending on Liliana. "Otohan has us in the tunnels. It's about to be over. Help." The response: "I don't — I'll try to find you. I don't know how fast I can get there, I'll try to find you." Imogen takes off the circlet to help her find them.

"We might have misjudged this a tidy-bit—" Travis. Laura. what do you mean. She sought you out. There was no way to avoid this.

Matt rolling behind the screen and not having Otohan attack to kill is hopeful! But still, the sheer hopelessness here among the players is something you really should not do if you don't know your table. (At the same time, there's also a building hopelessness in Matt, which I think is what allows the following events to transpire.)

That there's no music behind this half of the fight, or at least very low-volume music, is also...... not helping, I don't think.

Man, this is a BG3-ass fight. Literally fighting until the last hit point, spending every scroll and potion you can, especially because getting someone up means they get a full round of actions.

End of combat

With 5 hit points left, FCG casts a 4th-level guiding bolt at their core. You know what this means, right? "Yes. The rage that I feel, the stress being so high, the fuel pumping through my core — it has reached a level it's never reached before, and it is so intense, that for the first time I realize that I am made of metal and wires, but I am alive. I am alive not because I was made, I'm alive because they made me alive, and it's the connections that I made with all of them. It's a feeling of joy, and I am happy to do this, because they saved my life. And I'll save theirs."

FCG pushes Otohan back so that only they are in the blast radius. They roll 20d8, for 79 damage. "FCG... how do you want to do this?"

"The last things I see are Bertrand, and Dorian, and Frida. I just feel connected to everybody. Some connections are made with wires, and some are made with blood, some are made with bone, some are made with wood, but they all matter. And they, even in this dark, dark cave, they make every day a smiley day. So I just sign off, and go."

The red in FCG's eyes turns to white, and there is a smile turned toward the rest of the Bells Hells. Otohan goes to awkwardly pull a blade, and before she gets a chance to dart away, a ball of crackling energy fills the space, rocks around her — she is incinerated, utterly. Then it stops, leaving a crater in the ground. "The sound of hundreds of small pieces of metal sprinkle across the room. The charred, lifeless body of Otohan Thull is left there."

"The thing about heroic sacrifice is it doesn't just give meaning to the person in the moment — it's an inspiration that we have to carry with us. As this moment of tragedy washes over you, in ways that maybe some of you already knew, or are realizing right now... the stakes are realer now than ever. And this loss cannot be in vain. As the silence and numbness begins to subside, you start to hear the distant sounds of shouting soldiers. People coming. You know you have to keep going."

Ashton goes to find FCG's coin — it's like a beacon guiding them to the exit. He takes it. There is still part of FCG's head and smile left — lenses cracked, jaw unhinged, but it's something. They also recover the teleportation staff.

Of Otohan, nothing is left but her backpack, which was away from the explosion, and her blades, thrown away in the blast.

"Numb and distracted, pushing ever-onward because that's what this is all about," the remainder of the Bells Hells emerges onto the wind-swept quiet of Ruidus. Liliana descends, and takes Imogen's hand. As the dust rolls by and the clouds clear, with the vision of Exandria above... the stakes are clear. Sam Riegel, you motherfucker.

[zeephyre]

CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 3 EPISODE 86 SPOILERS

RAHHH, SPOOKY LAKE MINI ARC!!!!!!

God. I fucking love you Matthew Mercer.

The back door is indeed a back door and while that is exciting, I honestly need us to table all theories.

First of all, Matt really did his big one with this campaign and all of the spooky horror elements that are scattered all over. The nightmare king, Laudna, Jrusar tbh, Uthodurn and the Savaliir woods, the creepy ass monsters and gjosts we keep running into, the GHOST PIRATES, the fucking shattered teeth as a whole, RUIDUS, and now this fuck ass lake.

The way Matt slowly built up the suspense and the intrigue of this odd abandoned town that started as just curiosity and location discovery to help us understand where in Exandria they were, and then slowly became an investigation into how...empty it was despite no signs of struggle or even a mass exodus to somewhere safe... and then the notes about the disappearances... how people were rumored to have just...walked into the water.

GOD IT WAS SO GOOD.

The way my heart dropped out of my ass when Liam used the stone to talk to Dorian (I don't wanna discuss that "I miss you" that definitely felt like an "I love you", I'm so upset rn Robbie please come home). I knew the stone wikldnt work because he'd already talked to Caleb (which !!!!! CALEB!!!!!!! AHHHH) but then Matt was like "you hear something outside, it's Dorian" and I just???? Almost shat myself when I understood what was happening.

It is...interesting that whatever is in that lake only affected FCG, Orym, Chettie and Ashton.... it can't just be that they weren't women because... that doesn't really make any sense so it must be something magic related? Because they were making charisma saves and the witches have either max charisma or amazing fucking charisma. (But so does FCG? I think? Whatever).

I loved everything about that battle and the lake but I especially loved Laudna's whole deal... Dread Pirate Queen Laudna fan art needs to flood my social media feed so much that I get sick of it (I wont). She's such a silly little guy I love her to bits. (We won't discuss she who must not be named except to say... she was kinda spitting during that whole later interaction)

FINALLY THESE DUMB FUCKS SLEPT BUT GOD. I WAS CONVINCED MATT WANTED THEM DEAD FR.

ANYWAY. JESTER. JESTER LAVORRE. JESTER HAS SENDING. SHE TALKED TO US. SHE TALKED TO IMOGEN. THEY’RE EITHER ON THEIR WAY TO THE KEY OR TO THE LAKE AND EITHER WAY I KNOW WE'RE GONNA SEE THE NEIN AGAIN IDC IDC

Kinda almost broke down in tears when Jester spoke to Imogen because I just??? love Laura Bailey so much??? AND WHENEVER THE OTHER PCS SHOW UP I JUST GET SO HAPPY

I know Jester is being a terrorist with sending rn, and I know she's gonna message Imogen constantly.

Did not want them to leave that lake until Kiki's group showed up the next morning but my hellians never listen to me so cest la vie.

(Also????? Fearne and Chetney romantic tension??? Let's discuss. Let's also discuss how bad Fearne wants to kiss Imogen)

[unicyclehippo]

Happy new year, i hope 2024 is kind to you. For the word prompt structure:)

a very short snippet for ep97 of cr

//

Fearne paused as Laudna did, their arms still gently looped together. It felt so much better that way like they were on a garden walk instead of the creepiest tunnel ever.

Her tail waggled anxiously when Laudna frowned and tilted her head. Her eyes were still that glossy, sightless black—vision lent to her familiar ahead. The odd purple gleam, faint and rarely there, was a reflection from Imogen’s lights. Had to be.

‘Laudna?’ Fearne stroked her shoulder, gave one of the golden chains of her corset a gentle tug while she had the chance. (Boy, they were really well attached. That would be some effort to take.) ‘Laudna? What is it?’

Laudna’s arm spasmed, tensed. Her free hand flung out and knocked painfully against the stone wall; she didn’t seem to notice, didn’t seem to care, only placed her palm more gently on the stone to hold herself steady. A delicate tremor ran through her, like she was cold. Freezing.

Fearne bit her lip. Then stepped closer, and wrapped her arms around her.

‘Laudna,’ she said again. Slid a warm hand beneath the heavy cloak. ‘Come back. What is it?’

Like an ice statue thawing, Laudna slipped more fully into Fearne’s arms. Tilted her head until it rested against her shoulder. The sharp chilly point of her nose grazed Fearne’s pulse, which jumped at their closeness. She couldn’t help it! Her friend was hot! Well, cold. But gorgeous, in a deliciously dark kind of way.

‘Are you alright? Did you see something?’ Fearne lifted her other hand to twirl one of Laudna’s flyaway strands. There was a little flinch as she neared Laudna’s ear—so little, she wouldn’t have noticed if Laudna weren’t half buried in her bosom—and she couldn’t help but lean in, press warm lips to Laudna’s forehead.

They stood there for a moment. The rest of the party was following, in the slow cautious way that the deep shadow forced. For this moment, they were alone, unseen.

Fearne wondered if that was a comfort. Laudna liked shadows. Didn’t she? It would be awfully sad if she didn’t, given everything about her.

‘Fearne?’

‘Mhm?’

‘I do love you so,’ Laudna croaked. ‘We - I don’t say it enough. I don’t show it enough. I hope you know.’

Fire scorched the walls of Fearne’s lungs, hot and sweet, licked up the length of her spine.

‘I know.’

‘You do?’

‘Of course.’ There was a lot she wanted to say—like, once when she was really little a monster made it into Ligament Manor and Nana had torn it to shreds and eaten every last bit of it and it was the safest she’d ever felt. So she did, adding, ‘I think you’re a lot like her. Super beautiful too.’

‘Not…a monster?’

Fearne shrugged. ‘If you mean evil, no.’ She scritched at Laudna’s back between her shoulder blades. If she took the time to carefully feel if there was a matching lump of scar tissue to the one on her sternum, well. Laudna didn’t notice.

Laudna sighed. Snuggled closer. ‘There’s a structure. A room, up ahead,’ she whispered, almost sing-song, tone sweet and sad and scared. She sounded so young. ‘With bodies. Dangling. On ro- chains.’

Fearne let the curl of hair drop from her finger and closed Laudna in a tight, warm hug. The fire came up from her lungs to her throat, but it didn’t feel as good anymore.

‘Don’t look,’ Fearne said, demanded, asked. Her voice trembled. ‘Don’t look at them anymore. Okay? Please?’

Laudna shook her head. ‘I must.’

‘No-‘

‘I must keep us all safe. Whatever the cost.’

Fearne felt the flame in her chest tremble. It always did, in a strong cold wind. Pushed in a direction. But she always found her way.

‘Okay.’ Fearne pressed another kiss to her forehead. ‘Laudna? I’m here. We’re all here. You’re not alone this time.’

[justallihere]

GIRLIE YOU BETTER BE READY TO READ THIS ESSAY!!!!!!

I love how sentient the shadows are in this chapter. Its like they have a mind of their own and I'm here for it. Those shadows are hers now, not Xadens LMAO Mira's eye is going to twitch every time she sees them hanging around her baby sister

so satisfying we got to read how Pierce screamed to death and Xaden needed to relive that memory to keep himself in check

Vi basically kicking Mira out and admitting the room is also his??? I bet X was jumping for joy when he heard that

X is literally ready to shut down/hurt anyone who remotely upsets his wife. He has no fucks to give, doesn't care if it's her bsf, sister, or brother. anyone can be on his shit list and on the flip side, make her happy and he will do whatever that person asks lmao

SO MUCH PHYSICAL TOUCH IM CRYING

The hair conversation had my heart aching, X affirming that its V's body and its okay to be upset about the prospect of it being cut against her will!!!! (wonder if V is getting whiplash from the venin convo and how ppl took away her autonomy bc it's her body, her signet, her choices)

I can't even imagine the bickering that X and Tairn were having and how tired Sgayel must have been listening to these two

Did X's heart break when V thought she wasn't worth it and wouldn't come to save her? Liam really did keep her going and was so confident that X would save HER

She’d misunderstood him once before on this, and he couldn’t let her again

SOBBING!!!! THEY TOUCHED FOREHEADS. Honestly, that can be so much more intimate/impactful than a kiss imo

“Like. . .” He turned his head just enough so that his nose skimmed her cheek. “Everything has shifted since I met you. You are the center of my world—you’re the thing I orbit around. Of course I would come for you. I would do anything for you. You’re everything to me, Vi.”  “Don’t—“ A choked sob got caught in her throat. “Don’t say that.”  “Why? It’s the truth

“I love you, Violet Sorrengail,” he admitted. “I’m in love with you. You can’t get rid of me, in this life or any other. I’ll follow you through them all.” 

In every universe, they are soulmates. I will die on that hill!!! That thing in my chest ACHED when I read this part. I think I've re-read it at least 5 times 😭😭😭😭 He finally said I LOVE YOU TO HER. He didnt and wouldn't allow any room for misunderstanding!!!!! Its all on V now!!! and thats okay!!! X will be patient bc he loves her

Was this the chapter where he kisses her forehead and wipes her tears away 🥺 I love them so much, your honor

HE GOT TO SLIP HIS HAND UNDER HER SHIRT!!!!!! UGH MY HEART I CAN'T WITH THEM

Rhi is so snarky and I love her for it. She might be X's #1 hater (Mira is up there) and I am here for it. I hope we get to see these two bicker

WALK HIM LIKE A DOG SIS, WALK HIM LIKE A DOG

He would do whatever she asked

Xaden is so soft in this chapter and I love you for showing this side of him

He caught her as she buried her face against his shoulder. “Hi, Sloane,” he said gently. 

Everyone loves/fears Vi more than him and X is fully aware and okay with it

“Is that my entry fee?” Xaden asked dryly. “My wife?” 

I feel like everyone is going to be hovering around Vi once she is up and walking around (We all know Xaden is going to LITERALLY be her shadow)

Imogen and the one kitchen lady (forget her name) will be constantly feeding her and fretting that shes gotten too thin and needs to eat.

In summary: FOREHEAD KISSES GALORE, THE CUDDLING, X finally sleeping bc his wife is safe and home?????

you are amazing and i love this fic and you <3

I am always ready for all of your comments let’s do this

Mira has been around Xaden and Violet for two seconds and she’s over it. Like why is he looking at her baby sister that way? Why does Violet like it? Why is she defending him? Make it stop!!

Violet didn’t want anything to do with Pierce’s death, she just wanted to go home, but Xaden enjoyed it for sure

Listen Xaden doesn’t care. Has never cared. Won’t ever care. If anyone upsets Violet, their relationship to her is inconsequential, he won’t let it happen 😭

Xaden is about to learn the hard way that it’s Violet’s body and choice when she starts doing shit he doesn’t want her to do. Start praying for him

Sgaeyl having to intervene between Xaden and Tairn was NOT on her bingo card and yet here she is. Mediating fights between her mate and her rider over some tiny human she won’t even admit she likes

The forehead touch! The forehead kiss! The love confession! Xaden touching her skin directly to ground them both! I’m unwell!

Thank you ily 🩷🩷🩷

[dadrielle]

trick or treat 👻

Happy Halloween! Here’s a witchy bit of a cut scene from Fixed Twixt Drear Trees that I had to cut because it was spiraling into much too large a beast:

“Can’t b’lieve I ‘most got took out by kid, swiping at me like I’m a pest. No ‘preciation, absolutely appalling.”

Laudna reached up to tickle his stomach, making him squawk indignantly. “You’ve had worse things swipe at you, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Soft footfalls hushed them both, and a creak on the stairs heralded the girl’s tentative arrival. She had deep red frizzy hair in a long braid, and a shock of freckles just like Imogen’s, and so Laudna immediately felt predisposed to like her. She waved her in, but then tossed both her hands up in sudden warning, making the girl freeze like a startled deer. “Ut ut- mind the chalk! I don’t want to draw all this again, never mind how much it costs. Just…stay there!”

The constant motion of Laudna’s hands took on more purpose as she murmured the incantation. The natural shimmer of the gemstone dust in the chalk, catching the sunlight filtering through the window, seemed to suddenly freeze, before slowly rising, smearing up into the air like a bright, trailing afterimage. Another second, and the light pulsed, then exploded in strength, bursting forth into a blue so intense, it seemed nearly white. The magic in the air skittered across Laudna’s skin like static, and the circle hummed in place. Laudna pointed at the girl. “I just need to do the same thing on the other side, wait just like, 2 minutes, ok? Back in a momennnnnt!” Then she hopped in the circle.

A feeling like a warm wave of sunlight passed up her body from her feet to her head, and then she was in Yios at the usual spot. She immediately began tracing out the sigils again, hurrying through the spell as quick as she dared. She didn’t want to botch it and waste all the fancy components, of course, but she was going to vibrate right out of her body if she didn’t get to chat with her new visitor soon. She was terribly glad today one of the other Hells was not meeting up with her on this side - she would have had to ditch the fuck out of them and really, Ashton at least still had a complex about that, even if they wouldn’t admit it. Excellent luck to avoid that problem altogether.

Decidedly more than 2 minutes later, Laudna felt the wood of the barn loft under her feet again, task complete. The girl had stayed despite Laudna’s poor time estimation, and was peering curiously at the various spell components and craft supplies strewn across Laudna’s work table. She kept her arms tucked behind her even as she stretched so far over the table Laudna could almost imagine her craning neck was getting longer from sheer force of will.

She clapped her hands together, and the girl jumped. “Now then! Hello! Who are you!”

“Oh um. Is it safe to give my name to you?” The girl pulled her skirt up into her hands, worrying the edges of it, not quite making eye contact.

Laudna cocked her head to the side.

“I don’t see why not! I don’t plan on doing anything, like, weird to it. Mine is Laudna, and this rapscallion is Pâté.” He lifted his head from his nest in her hair, and the girl eyed him warily. It filled Laudna with an unexpected rush of sadness. Sometimes it seemed like he took on the burden of fear for her - how much less scary the cold, unnatural women seemed when juxtaposed to living taxidermy! It wasn’t fair. He was such a good boy. She made a mental note to find him some sort of treat later, just because.

“Oh. Nice to meet you? I’m Adelrune.” Her eyes skittered back up to Laudna’s hair. “And…how do you do, Pâté?”

He brought his head down so his beak was hanging over Laudna’s forehead, and she fought the urge to look up at it cross-eyed. His little paw thrust out over her brow in an accusing point.

“You’re not gonna swat me again, are ya?”

“No! “ The girl shook her head so vehemently, the edge of her braid popped her right in the nose. “I’m sorry, you just startled me, is all. I shan’t swat again, I promise.”

Satisfaction filled Laudna, at that. If she was willing to be kind to Pâté, then her initial instinct wasn’t unfounded. “Now then, Adelrune, what can we do for you?”

“You’re a witch, aren’t you?” Curious eyes ran over the table again. “Some of the little kids said so.”

“I am indeed!”

“Do you know how to make love potions?”

Laudna leaned in eagerly. “I do not! How do you make them?”

Adelrune looked flummoxed, glancing to the dusty remains of the circle, the clear physical proof of the power of Laudna’s magic. “No, I- I need one?”

“Ah, well, I’m afraid I’m not that kind of witch, nor is my Imogen.” Laudna frowned, tapped her thumb against her forefinger. “Kinda nasty business, love potions, come to think of it. Why would you want that?”

[laudsimogen]

This Hunger, It Isn't You (Ch. 19)

Read on AO3

Laudna didn’t have the strength to fight Imogen.

She wanted to. She wanted to beg Imogen not to put herself in harm’s way for her sake, to ask her to just stay with her and stay safe, but she knew it would take physical restraint to keep her from trying. So, she leaned against the tree and watched Imogen talk to Ashton by the fire, then leave through the other side with the sickle clutched tight in her hand.

Ashton watched her leave, too, and then headed toward Laudna. She flashed them the brightest smile she could muster as they reached her, but it fell flat.

“Hello again,” she said.

“Hey.” Ashton leaned against a tree opposite her and crossed their arms. “So, I’m supposed to not let you die. What happened? Imogen didn’t elaborate.”

“It’s…kind of a long story,” Laudna said.

“We got time.”

Laudna sighed. “All right,” she said. “Well, we decided to see what would happen if we killed the other killers. The Entity wasn’t happy with that, so I went to kill another one to fuck it over, and they got me pretty good.” She paused. “Hm. I guess it wasn’t a very long story after all.”

Ashton blinked. “You killed other killers? Like, they’re dead dead?”

“Only two.” Laudna frowned. “Or three. I’m not sure.”

“That’s crazy,” Ashton said. “Really fucking crazy. In a good way. Sorry you got hurt, though. You’re not gonna actually die on me, are you?”

Laudna hummed and looked down at herself. The sheets Imogen had secured to her were bleeding through, and she felt weak and lightheaded, but she’d come moments from dying before. This didn’t feel quite like that. Not yet, but probably soon.

“I’ll try not to,” she said. “It doesn’t matter. If this doesn’t kill me, the Entity will.”

“I’m guessing Imogen is out making sure that won’t happen,” Ashton said. “If there’s anything she can do for you, she will.”

“I know,” Laudna said. “That’s what scares me. She’s too stubborn.”

“Trust me,” Ashton said, “I know. First it was the escape thing—I guess it kind of still is—and now you. Honestly, I feel bad for whatever she’s going after. Clearly, she gets pissed when someone she loves is threatened.”

Laudna’s heart beat a little faster at their words. She might have even blushed if she hadn’t lost so much blood. “She told you she loves me?” It wasn’t as if she hadn’t said it to Laudna before, but there was something even more intimate about someone else knowing—about being spoken of to someone else in a positive light. Friends-of-friends who knew about her despite barely having talked to her. She’d never experienced that before.

Ashton laughed. “No,” they said. “Of course not; she doesn’t talk about shit like that. But I can tell. I think she loves you more than anything, honestly. So, don’t die, ’cause if you do…��� They let out a low whistle. “That aftermath won’t be pretty.”

Laudna’s head swam, and she couldn’t tell if it was more from the blood loss or from her emotions. “She can’t…love me more than anything,” Laudna said. “I love her more than anything, but she’s so special. I’m just…” she took a shaky breath. “I’m not important. Not enough for her to risk herself for.”

“No, don’t do that.”

Laudna frowned. “Do what?”

“Act like you don’t matter,” Ashton said. “It’s bullshit. If Imogen likes you so much, then you gotta be something special, too. And, I mean, you’re the only killer who’s tried to do right by us. Paid for it, too. That matters.”

They sighed and sat down, resting their elbows on their knees. “I gotta admit, I don’t know you all that well, but I care about you, too. So, cut the self-deprecating crap and just tell me what you need from me to stay alive until Imogen gets back. I’m no healer, but I’ll do what I can.”

“Okay,” Laudna murmured. She didn’t know how to handle one person caring about her, let alone two. Even through the pain, she felt horribly awkward. “I don’t know what you can do, though. Imogen slowed it down, but I’m still bleeding out.”

Ashton sighed. “Great,” they said. “I have a friend who used to do healing spells, but that shit doesn’t work here or I’d go get him. I’m sorry, Laudna.”

“It’s all right,” Laudna said. “I do appreciate you sitting with me, in any case. I’ve learned that I kind of hate being alone.”

“You and me both,” Ashton said. “Guess it just takes the right company, huh?”

“Mm.”

She was fading now. Her chest, her limbs, her eyelids—everything felt so heavy that she couldn’t even shiver in the cold washing over her. This was it: that feeling she’d had back in the real world when she’d lay dying in the woods. This time, the Entity wouldn’t rescue her.

“Laudna?”

She vaguely felt a hand on her shoulder, and she tried to focus on the contact, on the voice, on anything. She had to stay until Imogen got back. She couldn’t go yet.

“Laudna, come on.” Ashton snapped their fingers in her face. “I made a promise, okay? Do you want Imogen to fucking kill me?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. Tell her I’m sorry.”

“I’m not telling her shit,” Ashton said. “Just hold on a little longer.”

I’m trying, Laudna thought, but she couldn’t get her words out anymore. She wanted more than anything to see Imogen one more time, just to know she was okay, but now she couldn’t see, and she couldn’t hear, and she couldn’t feel.

And then she was gone.

Laudna had never come back from being gone—really gone—before. Not like the survivors. But like the survivors, she found herself blinking awake bathed in warmth with soft, lush grass beneath her. She squinted in the unfamiliar light, wondering where she was, until she realized. The campfire.

“Welcome back,” Ashton said from beside her.

Was this real? This couldn’t be real. The Fog didn’t allow killers in the campfire. She’d died; her realm had to have collapsed; she was gone.

But she could feel warmth on her skin for the first time in decades, and as her vision came into focus, she could see the other survivors standing at a distance, gawking at her. That was real.

“What happened?” she murmured to Ashton, and they shrugged.

“You died,” they said. “But then it was like the Fog was screaming; the crows started going nuts and the campfire walls were freaking out. So, I tried bringing you in, and it worked.”

“Well, shit.” Laudna looked around, but she didn’t catch sight of the pale purple she was looking for. “Where’s Imogen?”

“She’s not back yet,” Ashton said. “Whatever she’s doing must be taking a while.”

Laudna sat up a little too quickly and leaned back on her hand to steady herself. The pain was gone besides a few dull aches, but she still had to shake off the lightheadedness.

“I can go help her now,” Laudna said. “She’s out there alone because of me; I need to find her.”

“Woah,” Ashton said, “slow down a little. What do you think is gonna happen if you’re gone when she comes back?” They gave her a pointed look. “She’s gonna want to find you, and then you’re both gonna be running all over the Fog looking for each other, and nobody’s gonna be having a good time.”

Laudna sighed. “I guess,” she said. They had a point, but that also meant she had to stay at the campfire. Warm and comfortable as it was, she could feel the survivors’ eyes lingering on her. “I’m not going to hurt you, you know,” she called to the crowd. “You can stop staring now.”

“Don’t worry about them,” Ashton said. “Let me introduce you to my friends while you wait for Imogen; I think they’ll like you.”

[jelazakazone]

Liminal Spaces in Ep 5 of Heartstopper

Thanks again to my collaborators @barrows-teeth​ and @herewetumble​ for their contributions!! Find the master post here. 

Where the previous four episodes have had many doorways and corridors, Nick’s journey has become more solid. He’s stepped over that threshold and many of the transitional moments in this episode take place either outside or deeper into buildings. 

“Friend” starts with Charlie, Tao, Elle, and Isaac at Charlie’s for a sleepover. They are in Charlie’s room. Charlie and Isaac leave to get hot chocolate for everyone. Tao tells Elle that he is going to tell Charlie about Nick going on a date with Imogen, but as soon as Charlie gets back, Charlie asks everyone about him inviting Nick to his birthday thing. The moment is squashed and I think it’s also a safe space for Charlie — it wouldn’t have felt right for Tao to have revealed this information in Charlie’s bedroom. 

Nick is outside, on the picnic benches in front of school, and he tries to cancel his date with Imogen, who is sitting right next to him, but HER DOG DIED. This area in front of school, where they hang out every day, continually reinforces heteronormative behaviors. Nick is constrained by peers’ expectations despite sitting on the periphery as well as not wanting to make Imogen’s day worse.

But, when Charlie asks him to come to his birthday thing in form, first very gently tapping Nick’s hand with his pinkie, Nick blurts out an enthusiastic Yes! That gets them a quick scolding from Mr Lange. The form room is a magical space for the two boys, maybe in part because it is where they first met and connected. They always seem to feel safe at their table despite being surrounded by other students. They act as though there is an invisible barrier around them, protecting them from curious eyes. 

Outside, at the picnic benches, Harry throws something at Tao and Charlie as they pass by. Tao barges into Harry saying “Watch out dicknozzle” and for the first time, Nick is able to stand up for Charlie, unlike at the rugby match when he froze. Nick says ��stop picking on people for no reason.” And by people, we know he means Charlie. I think Charlie’s presence as well as Nick’s feelings for Charlie are starting to break down the walls Nick’s peers have erected. Neither Nick nor Charlie is happy about the confrontation between the two boys. Charlie doesn’t want Nick to experience the bullying; Nick is sad to see the bullying happen to someone he cares so deeply for.

Nick scrolls through Instagram on his phone in his kitchen. He sees the selfie Imogen has posted of the two of them and then sees Elle and Charlie. Nick looks sad as he lets Nellie go greet Sarah Nelson. When Sarah walks through the doorway, she can tell from Nick’s non-response that something is bothering him. NIck tells her of his dilemma and stupefies Sarah when he gets to “and then her dog died.” Sarah pulls herself together, gets Nick to explain, and then says “you shouldn’t go out with someone just because you feel sorry for them.” In his kitchen, with his insightful mother, Nick is able to be more himself and realize just how much he cares for Charlie. In this context, there is no internal dilemma about which event to attend.

Beabadoobee’’s song “If You Want To” plays as Charlie waits for Nick to show up. Charlie has the look of someone who is really hoping their friend will show up, but also like he knows he’s going to be let down. He brightens up when Nick appears and exclaims “you came!” “Yeah, of course I did,” Nick says as he holds up a bag with Charlie’s present. Charlie briefly takes Nick's hand, guiding him into the bowling alley. I think the bowling alley is another magical space — kind of like the hotel for Harry’s party. The lighting is pink and purple and blue and helps transport them to a fantasy world. 

As they walk towards the bowling lanes, Charlie points out Elle, Isaac, and Tao. This social environment is actually quite different from Harry’s party. Charlie’s friends are so supportive and accepting and even protective. They don’t mock Nick for being friends with Charlie, although Tao is not keen to try to get to know Nick at Charlie’s urging.

When they take a break between games, Tao follows Charlie to the bathroom to finally reveal the secret he’s been keeping under wraps. It feels significant that Tao can only reveal that Nick is planning to go on a date with Imogen in the bathroom at the bowling alley — it’s like a pocket universe within a pocket universe. Charlie says “but that can't be true, Nick’s my … friend.” 

Nick pushes the bathroom door open slightly and overhears the conversation;  the protective bubble of the bowling alley has burst. Outside expectations are reasserting themselves. Will Charlie keep the secret and lie to his best friend and is it even fair of Nick to ask Charlie to keep them secret? When Charlie emerges, Nick folds him into his arms and gives Charlie a big hug to try to reestablish it — the animated swirls of light around them reinforcing that perception. After the second round, Nick knows he needs to say something to Tao. After a brief exchange of meaningless pleasantries, Tao threatens Nick that if he is leading Charlie on, he needs to end it. Nick shakily agrees.

Then it’s time to play video games. Isaac plays the coin machine, Tao grabs Elle to go to the dance machine, and Nick and Charlie end up at the claw machine. They seem to be sheltered entirely from the outside world as well as the smaller venue of the bowling alley. It’s another pocket universe inside a pocket universe. 

After failing to pick up a toy, Nick confesses that he heard Tao talking. Charlie, shocked, says “You actually went on a date with her?” “No, no,” Nick replies and explains how he felt pressured by his mates and then her dog died. This last bit amuses Charlie and he visibly relaxes. Then Nick says “I’m going to make it right with Imogen. I’m going to tell her I don’t like her like that.”  Nick gets serious, but Charlie is in charge of the mood: “No being sad on my birthday!” 

Charlie opens Nick’s present (a hand-decorated picture frame with a picture of the two of them and Nellie in the snow — Nick’s favorite day ever). Nick seems a little nervous, he’s babbling and he says “I really like you.” Charlie seems surprised, but confirms that he also really likes Nick. Then Charlie says, “I wanna kiss you so bad right now” and Nick agrees after a quick look around. “Ok.” Paper Mache World plays and they transport themselves into a universe of love. When the kiss ends, the spell is broken somewhat. Nick seems a little nervous as he looks around. Charlie is just giddy and has returned to being a teenage boy. He has pent up energy that needs to be let out on the basketball game. 

Nick texts Imogen to say he can’t meet up and he can tell her everything tomorrow. He is unburdened and can enjoy the rest of his time with Charlie.

The penultimate scene is Nick and Imogen talking on a park bench outside. Although the open air has been a socially constrained space for Nick, he takes his first step towards being authentically himself with Imogen here. He explains about having buried his true self deep inside. Imogen says she understands. 

And finally, in front of the school, Harry asks how the date went and Imogen says “we decided we were better off as friends,” as the song “I Want To Be With You” plays. Nick has an ally in his social space now! 

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Pregnant!Female!Reader) pt. 14

Hannibal reads too much into Max's attempt to reconcile and cult girl revisits her past.

@wisesandwichshark @pearlstiare

Trigger warnings: discussions of death, abandonment, military casualties, emotional abuse

You soon returned to the opera knowing you had nothing to hide. Hannibal selected for you an off-white maternity gown so form-fitting it was practically painted on. He wanted everyone to see that you, his queen, empress and goddess, were carrying his child.

It only took that evening for the whole dynamic to change. Suddenly, you were an expectant new mother. Imogen had been a massive hit, you were planning to go again.

You were affixing your heavy cubic zirconia earrings when you heard a knock at the door. You hesitated, but hurried down the stairs when you saw who it was.

"Max?" You said, upon opening the door. He stood there awkwardly, holding a bouquet of flowers. "Hi?"

"Hey, [F/N]." Max greeted, eyes darting nervously around the porch. "I just came around to apologize in person. I'm sorry I was such a chauvinist prick."

You leaned against the door. "Oh?"

"You were right." He continued. "I don't know what it's like to carry a baby, and, unless something goes very wrong, I never will."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that." You smiled.

"Anyway, these are for you." He said, handing the bouquet over. "They're chrysanthemums."

"Thank you, Max." You said, accepting the flowers.

"Archie and I-" He scratched the back of his head. "We thought that, maybe, if you'd still have us, that we'd name the baby Chrysanthemum. With your permission, of course."

"Like the picture book?" Your face lit up. "With the little mouse girl?"

Max nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, exactly."

You hugged the bouquet into your chest and considered it again. You looked back at Hannibal, who hadn't looked up from his expectant fathers' website for a second all day. He surrounded himself with books about child psychology, attachment theory, developmental behavior patterns and somehow found himself on a tangent about institutionalized misogyny in medicine.

"I'm sorry, Max." You said, sincerely. "I really do appreciate you coming down here and apologizing, but-"

Max put his hands up and gave you a disarming smile. "I understand. Plans change."

"I just really want to stress that it's not you." You assured him. "I've kind of... really grown to like the idea of being a parent. And I think that was Hannibal's plan all along, too."

"I believe a congratulations is in order, then." His voice turned up in delight. "I'm very happy for you. Both of you."

You clutched the bouquet to your chest. "Thank you."

"Well, I'd better get going." He stepped backwards down the stairs. "I've got three pints of Ben and Jerry's in the backseat and Archie'll have my head if I come home and they've melted."

"Max, wait." You stopped him before he could get down the driveway.

"Hm?"

You leaned against the threshold and smiled warmly. "Don't be a stranger, okay?"

Max returned the smile. "Of course not."

You waved goodbye and shut the door. You hurried to the kitchen to put the flowers in water before you had to go.

"Who was that, love?" Hannibal asked, half-heartedly. He was still very fixated on his research.

"Max Thomas-Park." You answered, unwrapping the flowers from the decorative plastic.

Hannibal looked up from his computer, but left the room silent for you to fill.

"He wanted to make amends." You explained. You walked across the room to the china cabinet and selected a vase big enough to hold the ornate bouquet. "Brought flowers and everything."

"Chrysanthemums?" He asked, sniffing the air.

"I see your sense of smell is coming back." You commented.

"Interesting selection." He narrowed his eyes on the bouquet.

"Well, he said that was what he wanted to name the kid." You offered. "It was a cute pitch, not gonna lie."

Hannibal shut his laptop and examined the bouquet up close. "If he wanted to express regret, he would have done better to bring you blue or purple hyacinths."

"Well, like I said." You made a point to project a little more. "He said he wanted to name his daughter chrysanthemum."

"Mums are given to show sympathy for those in mourning." Hannibal continued, clearly having his own conversation.

"Hannibal-"

"I think your cousin got her hooks in him and he's planning to--" He cut himself off, lest he speak the unthinkable into reality. "That's why he brought mourning flowers."

"Max Thomas-Park is conspiring with Anna to kill our unborn baby?" You said, flatly, to emphasize how insane he sounded.

Hannibal held a bloom between his fingers and looked closely at it. "It's the kind of hint I would leave. For courtesy's sake."

"I think looking at parenting blogs all day has made you a little paranoid." You observed, knowing full well that an overprotective husband and soon-to-be father of your child was not a bad problem to have. Nevertheless, you shut the laptop and touched his cheek. "Come on. We're going to be late for the opera."

You heaved yourself into the passenger's seat of the car, feeling the seat give beneath your heavy frame. Every time you got into the car, you remembered that you needed to shop for a car seat. The thought just as soon left your mind every time. 

“We need to look for a car seat.” You said as Hannibal shut the door, hoping that he’d remember. 

“I mean,” Hannibal blurted out, still lost in his own conversation. “Max is a cultured and well-educated man. He has to know the implications of his flowers.” 

You huffed, dreading to think that paranoid delusion was symptomatic of his parenting style. “Right. The twenty-seven year old data analyst who graduated with a finance MBA from UChicago is also proficient in the outdated and frivolous language of flowers.” 

“In Italy, mums are only given as comfort for loss.” Hannibal said with undeserved conviction. “Exclusively, [F/N].” 

You rolled your eyes and typed something up on your phone. You raised your eyebrows, feeling a bit proud of yourself for what you found. 

“In Korea, y’know, the country that Max’s family is from,” You corrected. “The chrysanthemum is a symbol of friendship.” 

Hannibal tensed up for a moment, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. It was as if he were trying to break himself out of a trance. “...I’m sorry, darling.” 

“I know you’re scared.” You stared at his profile, trying to make out an expression. “I’m also... pretty scared. But you can’t take it out on a guy who has nothing to do with it.” 

“I am scared.” He affirmed, but the way in which he did was a telltale sign that he wasn’t giving you the full story. 

“Of?” You raised your eyebrow. “Finish the sentence, Hannibal.” 

"I need to keep our baby safe." He answered. "And I cannot in good conscience let her come into the world knowing that someone wants to hurt her. To hurt you."

You sighed. "Hannibal, are you seriously still worried about Anna?"

"Don't underestimate the role privilege and entitlement plays in the decision to commit acts of violence." He enunciated carefully. "You of all people should know that."

"Anna has cultivated such a perfect victim image to project outwardly that even a hint of proactive violence would shatter it." You explained. "She's the poor girl who has things done to her. Her evil cousin ruined her marriage. Her evil cousin destroyed her career. And she's the innocent victim in all of it."

"Logically, I know that you can speak on her behavior with more authority than I." Hannibal admitted.

"No shit." You scoffed. "I had to live with her."

"Can we at least entertain the idea that she has something planned?" He pleaded.

"I'm surprised at you." You said. "You never really struck me as the overly-cautious type."

Hannibal shook his head. "With my own life, I'm willing to gamble. But not when it's you. And not when it's Imogen."

You tensed up. His admitted willingness to put himself in danger unlocked a core memory you had buried deep down. The only thing you knew about your own father was that he was willing to put himself in danger. To go overseas and die for fuck-all instead of live for the child he selfishly created then abandoned. He chose to give his life for oil. You didn't choose to grow up without a father and your mother didn't choose to raise a child without a partner. He made that choice for you.

"Now what are you not telling me?" Hannibal broke you out of your trance. "I know that look, [F/N]."

"Nothing." You shook your head. "You should really not plan on dying anytime soon."

"I promise you, I am not going anywhere." His voice softened. "Least of all, to Iraq."

"Okay, you're a pretty good therapist but you never told me you could read minds." You threw your hands up in defeat. "Are you a psychiatrist or are you Loki?"

"As fun as being the god of mischief would be," Hannibal smiled to himself. "I just happen to have a steel-trap memory and an admittedly quite obsessive fixation on the mental health of the mother of my child."

"I swear to god I never told you about him." You denied. "Not even in passing."

"You didn't have to." He assured you. "Beatrice did."

You were surprised for a fraction of a second until the information sat in your head long enough to realize it wasn’t surprising in the slightest. Beatrice took every opportunity she got to brag about her son's sacrifices. She never once mentioned the sacrifices he forced upon you. Only that her son was a hero.

"Did you get the 'don't believe anything [F/N] has to say about my son' speech?" Your voice flattened in complete non-surprise.

"It was a prepared speech?" Hannibal chuckled. "Pity. I thought I was special."

"She gave it to my first boyfriend." You rolled your eyes. "We were, like, fifteen."

"The root of your psychological issues becomes clearer every time we talk about Beatrice." He commented under his breath.

"I know." You conceded.

He pulled into the parking lot, turned the car off and placed his hand over yours.

"Your father was a coward." He said, bluntly. It was nice to hear what had been echoing in the back of your head out loud for once. "I know no country to serve. No god to glorify. I promise, you have the whole of me. My mind, body and soul belongs to you and our child."

You squeezed his hand. "I couldn't ask for anything else."

[nightphlox]

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

This is a fun question. I don't remember what I was proudest of when I hit publish, but scrolling back through, this (and just above) is the part of wanting me wanting you where I started to figure out what kind of things I could do with the idea of telepathy + sex, and it still makes me go, hey, that was a pretty good brain blast I had, thank you brain can we do that again?

“Oh,” Imogen says incoherently, and she lets herself settle backwards against the bed. In Laudna’s mind’s eye she sees herself, dress pooling around her, flushed and wanting. There’s a confusing rush of arousal at the image—Laudna’s, she realizes. She is seeing herself in the mirror of Laudna’s mind’s eye, and aching with need. It turns her on deliriously.

And this paragraph in push/pull has gotten some love, which makes me happy because I am still very pleased with it:

“Good,” Laudna breathes, reaching for the words to try them on, “Good girl,” and Imogen moans, her hips bucking wildly against her. Laudna rises and falls with them and loves the way that it feels, Imogen rolling into her, Imogen connected to her, Imogen part of her, the drag and push of Imogen’s cock in her cunt, filling her to bursting, the dull grounding pain of Imogen’s electric fingers bruising her skin, marking her, and that’s all she wants, always, ever, this feeling of being Imogen’s, being full of Imogen, being possessed by Imogen, possessing her, Imogen gasping under her with her tits and neck and mouth stained with Laudna’s ichor, Imogen inside her and under her and everywhere, only Imogen, just Imogen, nothing in the world but Imogen.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

Answered!

24. Are there any easter eggs in [insert fic], and if so, what are they?

Hmm, nothing that anyone wouldn't have caught, I think. push/pull has revivify cock ring and monkey gun. Does it count as an easter egg if in my mind the rest of the Hells one million percent knew Imogen and Laudna were heading off to fuck even though they went to bed "not so early as to be indecent"?

Also not sure if this counts as an easter egg, but I always have an internal battle over whether to be consistent with dropping Imogen's gs, and this is a spot where I went back and forth and back and forth and ultimately could just not bring myself to do it.

“You’re dripping,” Imogen says as Laudna lowers herself onto Imogen’s thigh and rocks her hips into it, and she doesn’t know what ravenous part of her the words are coming from as they spill hotly from her mouth.

"Drippin'." absolutely not i'm sorry just. i cannot

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

I mean here is how my smut-writing career began:

so honestly, writing smut to begin with was a big step outside my comfort zone! I'm glad I started with a First Time fic because it let me explore things more slowly rather than vaulting in with more of a charged dynamic. I think it's probably safe to guess that the more smut I write the more interesting the range of attached tags is going to get.

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

When in doubt I'm pretty much always going to default to talking process! My process was really different for these two fics--wanting me wanting you is the least-outlined fic I've ever written (had a typically thorough outline for the introductory scene, but almost nothing for the sex, just a little section at the bottom of the doc labeled LET'S INCLUDE SOME OF THIS STUFF with some ideas/scraps of scenes below it. I figured out what I wanted to do with the fic, including the entire telepathy sex conceit, as I was writing. push/pull, however, had not only an outline but a beat-by-beat bullet point sketch of almost the whole fic before I sat down and started writing any actual sentences. (My usual for non-smut is somewhere in between these two things, although definitely closer to the push/pull side of things.)

This was fun, thank you for the ask!!! <3

[cherrybracelets]

We Fell In Love in October

dad!spencer x reader

a continuation of these blurbs. you do not need to read them to read this fic, but they all take place in the same universe

word count: 2.7k | warnings: pregnancy, hospitals, other than that all fluff

We fell in love in October, That’s why I love fall, Looking at the stars, Admiring from a far

There was nothing that broke your heart more than the fact that you were missing your daughters first time trick or treating. But, as Spencer reminded you every day, you were way too pregnant to be out walking around all night while she got candy. You were devastated, but you knew he was right. You were nearing your due date and felt like you were carrying a whale around at all times. There was absolutely no way you’d last longer than 20 minutes without whining about how your feet hurt.

So you and Spencer decided you’d stay home and hand out candy while he took Imogen to the fanciest neighborhood in your suburb so she could get the best candy. You remember trick or treating in the same neighborhood as a kid, and the houses always had full size candy bars and toys. There was one house that made a mini haunted house in their front yard every year, and it was your favorite thing as a kid. You felt sick thinking that Immy was going to experience it for the first time without you. 

“You promise me you will take a ton of pictures and videos? If there’s not at least 500, we are literally getting a divorce,” you pouted, helping Spencer get his costume on. 

“Babe, I promise you won’t miss a second of it. I know it sucks you can’t go, but you have to keep my little baby safe,” he smiled, kissing your swollen belly and then bringing his lips to yours, giving you a small peck. 

“I’m gonna go check on her, make sure she’s got her costume all set. Why don’t you go downstairs and relax, you seem a little high strung today,” he teased, walking out of your bedroom together and into your daughters room. 

“Of course I’m high strung, Spence. I’m a thousand months pregnant and you’re taking my daughter away from me to walk around alone in the dark.” You felt yourself tearing up, one again out of control of your emotions. Being pregnant fucking sucked. 

“Do you not trust me to keep Immy safe? Do you know what I do for a living?” Spencer laughed, and you rolled your eyes in annoyance as you walked down the stairs to go flop on your couch. 

You felt the baby kick, and you placed a hand on your belly. You both decided not to find out the gender, the same thing you did with your last pregnancy. Spencer loved not knowing, claiming you got ‘more gifts’ if you didn’t know. But it drove you crazy. Even though you didn't know for sure, Spencer was convinced it was a boy. He wanted a son so bad, so you played along with his fantasy, but you were pretty certain it was a girl. You felt the same as you did when you were pregnant with Imogen, even craving the same foods as before. You had a mother's instinct- you knew who she was. 

You leaned your head back on the couch, closing your eyes to rest for a moment. You seemed to be constantly exhausted, despite spending most of the day sleeping. You slowly rubbed your belly, always afraid that if you went too long without touching her she would forget you. 

“You ready, Mommy?” You heard Spencer’s voice say, from the top of the stairs. You smiled happily, keeping your eyes closed as the two of them came down to the living room in their costumes. 

“Let me see my loves!” You responded, giggling in anticipation as you awaited your daughters first Halloween costume. 

“Look at me, Mommy! I’m so pretty!” Imogen said, Spencer holding the girl in his arms. You opened your eyes to see her dressed as a fairy- exactly what she wanted. You felt yourself tearing up, which were a mix of happy and sad tears. 

“You both look so amazing!” You stuttered, trying to get your words out through muffled cries. 

“Don’t cry, Mommy!” Immy pouted, wriggling out of Spencer’s arms and onto the couch to give you a hug. 

“Oh, I’m not sad, Im. You’re just so pretty!” You kissed her on the top of the head, trying not to mess up her costume. 

“We should probably get going soon. I don’t want to be out too late,” Spencer frowned, checking his watch and looking outside to see if it was getting dark yet. 

“Right, of course. Please keep me updated, okay?” 

“Of course, my love.” 

“Have fun, you guys. Be safe!” 

Spencer and Imogen waved goodbye to you, blowing you a kiss as they walked out the door. You tried your best not to cry as they drove away, trying to focus on getting ready to hand candy out to other kids. You knew it was probably just your anxiety, and the fact that you and Spence had been watching scary movies every night for the past month- but you had a bad feeling about tonight. And it was only a short time later when you realized your feeling was right. 

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Spencer was one of the smartest men alive- that was indisputable. But where he excelled in book smarts, sometimes his common sense was lacking. Like how he was consistently forgetting to charge his phone. So when it died after only an hour of trick or treating- probably because he hadn’t stopped taking pictures since they left- he felt like a huge idiot. Especially considering how much you reminded him to plug it in every night before bed. 

But he tried not to panic, convincing himself he had recorded enough of the night to satisfy you. Plus, now he could really be in the moment with his daughter, which was what it was all about, right? 

“C'mon Daddy,” Imogen groaned, pulling Spencer by the arm up to another house. And as Spencer followed his daughter, he realized where they were. This was the house. The ‘haunted house’ house that you talked about every Halloween, that the both of you were so excited for Immy to experience herself. And Spencer had promised you a thousand times over that he would record the entire experience. 

‘Fuck,’ he thought to himself, shaking his head in disappointment, preparing for the inevitable fight when he had to tell you he didn’t record it. Unless, they just don’t go? That could work, right? He would just tell you that they didn’t do it this year, and next Halloween they could all go together. The plan was perfect. Except for one thing. 

“Please, Daddy. I really wanna go to this house,” his daughter frowned, crossing her arms in frustration. 

“Immy, please just listen to Dad, okay. Not this house.” His daughter was persistent and adorable, which made this incredibly difficult. 

“No. I want to go to this one.” 

“Imogen Josephine, when your Dad tells you no, you have to listen.” 

“No! I want to go!” She turned around quickly, running up the driveway to the house. Spencer rolled his eyes in annoyance, chasing after her. She was running quickly, not paying attention to her surroundings. It was a disaster waiting to happen, and Spencer knew it. But he couldn’t catch up to her before disaster struck. She tripped over one of the decorations, falling on the pavement and falling on her arm. 

“Ow!” She yelled, her eyes filling with tears as she sat on the ground. Spencer caught up with her, immediately getting on the ground and checking on her. 

“Imogen! This is why you listen to me when I tell you no!” He yelled in frustration, trying to see just how bad her scrapes and cuts were. 

“Don’t yell at me!” She responded, now fully crying and screaming. 

“I’m sorry, peanut. I didn’t mean to get mad,” Spencer responded, wiping the tears from her cheeks and picking her up. 

“My arm really hurts,” she wept, holding her now swollen wrist away from them. 

“Okay, peanut, I think we need to go to the hospital and get that checked out,” Spencer instructed, carrying his daughter down the street and back towards their car. He knew you were going to kill him when he got a call from the hospital. He felt sick to his stomach as he got Immy in the car and started driving. What an absolute nightmare. Maybe he couldn’t do it without you. Maybe his skills as a parent were only valid if you were around to watch him. 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥♥

Seeing all of the cute kids in their costumes was definitely making you feel better. You knew you had to trust Spencer. He was an amazing Dad and husband, and he would always take care of your girl. You knew he would. 

But, everything seemed to fall apart in about five minutes. It all started when you went to check Spencer’s location, a bad habit that you knew wouldn’t solve anything. When it popped up that he couldn’t be located, you felt your stomach flip and your heart skip a beat. 

“Damnit Spence. Charge your fucking phone…” you whispered, shaking your head and digging your nails into your palms. It was okay, though. He was fine, they were fine. Right? 

And then the worst possible thing could’ve happened. You felt a weird pain in your abdomen, one that caused you to nearly double over and fall on the floor. Only a few seconds later, it made sense. Your water broke. 

You weren’t due for another two weeks. This could not be happening. There’s no way. But another contraction a few minutes later made it clear- you were having your baby, and Spencer had no phone. Holy shit. 

You reached for your phone and instinctively called JJ, telling yourself it was because she lived the closest but also knowing she was the only person who could handle being in the delivery room with you if you couldn’t find your husband. 

“I’m going to kill him,” you screamed into the phone, not even bothering to greet your friend or explain the situation. 

“Woah, okay kiddo. What’s going on?” 

“His phone is dead, and I am having this damn baby. I am going to kill him.” 

“Oh, Jesus (Y/N). Okay… um… we can figure this out. Do you know what neighborhood they're in?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay, I’ll send Will to go drive around and look for them. In the meantime, I am coming to pick you up and take you to the hospital. Just relax, take a few deep breaths. Everything will be fine.” 

You hung up the call and grabbed your hospital bag, patiently waiting by the door. JJ was only about ten minutes away, but it felt like you were waiting for hours. You tried calling Spencer’s phone a few times, but it went right to voicemail. This could not be happening. Holy shit, this could not be happening. 

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Spencer pulled into the emergency room parking lot, whipping his car through the lines as his daughter cried in the backseat. He finally found a spot, parking terribly and quickly grabbing Imogen. 

“We’re here now, peanut, everything’s gonna be okay,” he reassured her, not truly believing the words himself. His heart was racing, his breath shaky and his mind going a million miles a minute. He needed to talk to you as soon as possible- he needed you to tell him, and your daughter, everything would be okay. 

“Hi, um, my daughter fell and hurt her arm. I just need to get her checked in,” he spoke, his voice quick and panicky as he stood at the desk. 

“Of course. What’s her name and date of birth?” The woman asked, smiling kindly at the two of them. 

“Imogen Josephine Reid. She was born April 8th, 2017.”

“Oh, wonderful, I’ve got her file right here. Let’s get her admitted.” 

Spencer stood impatiently, holding his daughters hand as she stood next to him, watching the secretary take her sweet time to admit Imogen. Spencer was tapping his foot in frustration, which Imogen quickly noticed, placing her free hand on his knee and telling him to stop. Spencer just laughed at his daughter, who was always so unapologetic, always just telling people whatever thoughts came to her head. 

“Oh no, this is not good,” a familiar voice behind him said. He turned around quickly and saw JJ, a nauseated look on her face. 

“What are you doing here…” Spencer asked, furrowing his brows in confusion. She appeared just fine, and she wasn’t with anyone else. 

“Spencer, don’t freak out, but-” 

“SPENCER REID!” You yelled, your face red and voice fuming. 

“Wait, what is going on?” Spencer looked at you, confused, as you were being wheeled into the emergency room by a nurse.  

“Why are you at the emergency room, Spencer? What happened to Imogen?” 

“Hi Mommy! I fell and hurt my arm!” Imogen responded, her face stained with tears and her costume ripped from the fall. 

“What?” You were seething, staring at Spencer with wide eyes. You were about to yell again, but your whole body seized and pain shot through your body. Another contraction. They were getting closer, and you knew it was only a matter of time before this baby came out. You whined loudly, gripping onto the arm of the chair and closing your eyes in pain. 

“We need to get you in a room now, Mrs. Reid,” the nurse instructed, looking at JJ and Spencer. 

“Wait… are you… are we having a baby?” Spencer’s eyes got wide, excitement filling his face as he realized what was going on. 

“Yes, Spencer. Maybe you could try to not let this one break their arm,” you yelled, immediately noticing Spencer’s shit in tone as you yelled at him. 

“Okay, okay, everyone. I’m sure what happened with Immy was an accident, right Spence?” 

“Yes, yes I promise. She was running and tripped…” 

“See, (Y/N)! Just an accident. So why don’t I take her to go see the Doctor and you guys can go… have your baby,” JJ smiled, doing her best to handle the situation. She was used to dealing with yours and Spencer's chaos. She was also Imogen’s godmother, and she did not take that role lightly. 

“Okay… okay… let’s go have our baby.” 

“Let’s go have our baby!” 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥♥

On November 1st, 2020, at 1:17 AM, your second daughter was born. You weren’t shocked at all when the doctors told you it was a girl, but Spencer was at a loss for words. They wrapped your small newborn in a blanket and handed her back to you. You were even more in love with her than you thought possible, and so was your husband. 

JJ and Imogen were in the waiting room, along with Will and the rest of the team. Immy’s arm was fine- nothing more than a bad bruise. They had given her a halloween ice pack and a bag full of candy, to which JJ allowed her to have a little too much, and she crashed from the sugar rush pretty hard. She was passed out in Uncle Rossi’s arms, drooling chocolate all over his pajamas. 

“Guys… she’s here.” Spencer smiled, walking out of the delivery room to share the news with his family. 

“She? Another girl? I knew it. You owe me twenty bucks, Derek,” Garcia giggled, Derek rolling his eyes in response. 

“Can we meet her?” JJ asked, happy to have another little girl to spoil. 

“Of course. Come on!” 

Rossi woke Imogen up, who was thrilled to meet her baby sister. Everyone walked quietly into the room, where you were holding your sleeping daughter in your arms. You were overjoyed to see all of them, knowing they would always be your family, and the first to meet your baby, because they were her family, too. 

“Mommy!” Immy yelled, running towards you. 

“Shh, be quiet, peanut. She’s sleeping!” 

“Got it. Quiet.” Immy whispered, giggly as she looked down on her little sister. 

“She looks like you, Spence,” Emily laughed, lightly grabbing Spencer’s shoulder. 

“Do you remember how much Imogen looked like (Y/N) when she was born?” JJ asked, smiling down at the two girls. 

“We now have a clone of each of us. It’s only a matter of time before we take over the world,” Spencer laughed, his arm wrapped around you and the baby. 

“What’s her name?” Hotch asked.

“Lola. Lola Danielle Reid.” 

“Welcome to the BAU, Lola.” 

[beclynn-herondale]

If you let me chapter 1

Céline was wandering around, thinking about a girl, she thought she would only ever love Stephen, but she knew he would never love her back like that, they had their son together and they were friends, but that is all they would ever be.

But there was someone else, Rosemary, when she first saw her she thou6she was beautiful, but she didn't know she was attracted to her, in fact Céline didn't know she liked girls like that at all, but whenever she thought of Rosemary, she blushed and her heart sped up, the last time her and Rosemary hung out, she wanted to play with her her and wondered what kissing her would feel like.

But again, Céline loved someone she couldn't have, Rosemary was married to a man named Johnny, he was abusive and an ass, Céline wanted to take Rosemary away but Rosemary had their baby 6 months ago, Jace was six now, Céline didn't know why but when she was looking for names she came across the name Jace and her and Stephen agreed to name him that, his middle name was after an ancestor, Jace William Herondale, her baby, Stephen had been killed in on a mission by Valentine, Céline knew it was him and it had broken her, Jace never knew his father but he left a letter, Céline had never opened it, she was waiting for Jace to be old enough, she only survived cause she caught on to what Valentine had been doing to Jace, and she kept it a secret, but she also knew Valentine wasn't really dead, and that sent chills down her spine.

But back to happier thoughts, It was nice to hold a baby again, Rosemary named her son Christopher and Céline loved the little baby boy, so did Jace, Céline would daydream about raising their boys together and being happy together, yeah she wasn't straight.

"Mangoes," Jace said

Céline looked over and saw someone was selling fresh mangoes, her Jace loved mangoes

"We'll get some, baby," she said

"Yay," he said, in his toddler voice that made Céline's heart feel so much love for him.

They got some, and went back home, she cut some up for Jace and he gladly ate them, and thanked her afterwards, also gave her a hug and a kiss, even tho she didn't have romantic love in her life she had all the love in this little boy that she would ever need.

______

Rosemary was lying awake, thinking about her again, lately she couldn't get Céline out of her head, she shouldn't be thinking about her like this, she was married, though she didn't love Johnny anymore, she thought she would love him forever but sometimes you fall out of love, right?

She remembered his reaction when she told him she was pregnant with Kit, he wasn't happy but he didn't get angry either, she didn't know what to think about his reaction, she hoped he loved their son, but she'd see Céline with him and she was so gentle and sweet and kind, and little Jace was too, and Rosemary thought, Johnny wasn't that way with Kit.

She felt tears fall down her face, she was so unhappy now, and she had to worry about the riders finding her, she met with Magnus Bane and he helped her with a spell that concealed her for a time but she had to have it recast on her ragularly, she didn't know how he had done but he did, she finally decided to listen to the Silent Brother who called himself Brother Zachariah, and he told her to see Magnus Bane, and somehow he did it, she could never repay him.

Johnny was out late in the Shadow Market , doing who knows what, and she wished Céline was here to lighten things, but Céline was in Paris and she was in Los Angeles, Céline would come visit from time to time, she said she wanted to let Jace experience travel a little, and she often came here for her job, she was a photographer and she was amazing and talented, Rosemary knew why people Hired her for photoshoots, Céline had left the Shadowhunter life and was now hiding in ways, she didn't keep it a secret and she said when Jace could understand she would tell him, because he would figure out anyway. but Rosemary wasn't sure if she should tell Kit when he grew up, but he would need to know so he would be safe.

______

Céline had put Jace to bed and decided to look at the mail, there was a letter from Maryse Lightwood, she had kept in touch with them, they weren't friends but she wanted to keep contact with someone, and Maryse did in a professional way, though she did notice Maryse would mention her kids from time to time now, Céline wished Jace could meet them, be around other kids more, he played with the downworld children here, but Céline had to be careful who he interacted with, he was so sweet and gentle with them, he didn't think any differently of them, and she thought if only we kept the thought process and innocence of kids, maybe we wouldn't be so cruel to Downworlders.

Maryse wrote in the letter that if Céline was interested she could come to the New York Institute for a while and their kids could meet, she would have to take up that offer and maybe invite Rosemary if she can get away from Johnny, but Rosemary probably wouldn't want to, Céline was still nervous around Robert Lightwood, and she knew people didn't look at her kindly, saying she stole Stephen from Amatis and that Jace shouldn't have been born, and if it were just her they were talking about she wouldn't care but not her baby, he is good, so so good.

She left in the night when she was 8 months pregnant, Valentine intended to kill her and she knew but she escaped and had hid herself well enough he didn't find her, she wondered what Imogen thought, she had never met her grandson but how could Céline face that woman, she would exile her and probably take Jace, she couldn't allow that.

She was exhausted mentally and emotionally

She also heard Jocelyn ran away, she wondered wherw she went, and even though she knows Jocelyn hates her, she hoped she was ok.

Céline decided to call it a night and get ready for bed, she checked in Jace one last time before she did, and climbed into her bed, letting sleep take her away.

-

She woke to the sound of Jace saying mommy, and opened her eyes

"Baby what's wrong?" She asked as she picked him up and put sat him on her bed

"I had a bad dream again," he said

"It's ok, by sweet boy," she said and rocked him in her arms

Jace often had dark dreams, she wasn't sure why but she did her best to comfort him when he did, and she would let him stay with her on the nights he had them, he snuggled up to her and went back to sleep, she also fell back to sleep with him in her arms, everything will be alright she told herself every night, he can find you she thought, he can't take Jace away from you. Maybe she should go to the New York Institute, maybe she would be safer there?

(hopefully you like, I had to do something, I am in love with this idea and wlw)

@khaleesiofalicante @chibi-tsukiko tagging you two 🙈

[seattlesea]

Songs I Listen to While Writing Sorted by Genre/Type of Scene

(Some songs will be in more than one category)

Romance Scenes- we fell in love in october by girl in red Strawberries and Cigarettes by Troye Sivan Fool by Cavetown Call Me by 90sFlav Girls by girl in red 3AM by Finding Hope Dream Girl by Anna of the North Stay by Zedd & Alessia Cara Somebody To Tell Me by Tyler Glenn Secrets by One Republic Paris by The Chainsmokers Safe and Sound by Capital Cities Wild Heart by Bleachers A Thousand Years by Christina Perri Fire on Fire by Sam Smith Angel With a Shotgun by The Cab She Looks So Perfect by 5 Seconds of Summer Jet Pack Blues by Fall Out Boy Trade Mistakes by Panic! At The Disco When the Day Met the Night by Panic! At The Disco Moral of the Story by Ashe We Can’t Be Friends by Dream Koala Public Making Out Is Like Ugh by DNE Moon River by Audrey Hepburn Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens Alewife by Clairo Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko Futile Devices (Doveman Remix) by Sufjan Stevens  Midnight Love by girl in red

Calm Scenes- Call Me by 90sFlav 5:32 by The Deli Crush by Esthie Coffee Breath by Sofia Mills Santa Monica Dream by Angus & Julia Stone Fool by Cavetown Golden Hour by Jonathon Morali Crosses by José González Death Bed by Powfu (Beat Only) 3AM by Finding Hope Waterloo Sunset by The Kinks Shy Girl by Kedam Counting Stars by One Republic Kaleidoscope Eyes by Panic! At The Disco She Had The World by Panic! At The Disco This Is Home by Cavetown Lua by Bright Eyes Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood Bedroom by Litany FLAMIN HOT CHEETOS by Clairo Will She Come Back by girl in red To All Of You by Syd Matters

Sad/Emotional Scenes- Obstacles by Syd Matters Runaway by Aurora Cancer by My Chemical Romance Unsteady by X Ambassadors State of Dreaming by MARINA Raquel y Sergio Juntos by Ivan M. Lacamera Coming Home by Falling in Reverse Spanish Sahara by Foals I’m Bad at Life by Falling in Reverse 7 Years by Lukas Graham Lost It All by Black Veil Brides Teen Idle by MARINA Hall of Fame by The Script Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish 21 Guns by Green Day Pirate Love Song by Black Heart Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez The Light Behind Your Eyes by My Chemical Romance Helena (So Long and Goodnight) by My Chemical Romance Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance I Don’t Love You by My Chemical Romance The Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance Bishop Knife Trick by Fall Out Boy Indomitable by Casey Lee Williams The End of All Things by Panic! At The Disco Always by Panic! At The Disco Impossible Year by Panic! At The Disco Dying in LA by Panic! At The Disco Northern Downpour by Panic! At The Disco Far Too Young To Die by Panic! At The Disco This Is Gospel by Panic! At The Disco House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco Moral of the Story by Ashe Reason to Stay by Sody Anchor by Novo Amor Sober II (Melodrama) by Lorde Mt. Washington by Local Natives Mountains by Message To Bears

Action/Fight Scenes- Finish Line by Skillet I Ran (Epic Trailer Version) by Hidden Citizens Another One Bites The Dust (Epic Trailer Version) by Hidden Citizens Back From the Dead by Skillet Never Give In by Black Veil Brides The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy DESTROYA by My Chemical Romance Warriors by Imagine Dragons Bella Ciao by Manu Pilas What’s Up Danger by Blackway & Black Caviar The Resistance by Skillet Feel Invincible by Skillet In The End by Black Veil Brides Days Are Numbered by Black Veil Brides Fallen Angels by Black Veil Brides Caffeine by Casey Lee Williams This Will Be The Day by Casey Lee Williams 300 Violin Orchestra by Jorge Quintero Radioactive by Imagine Dragons Ready Aim Fire by Imagine Dragons Silent Running (Epic Trailer Version) by Hidden Citizens I’d Love to Change the World (Matstubs Remix) by Jetta  Tommy’s Theme by NOISIA The Sharpest Lives by My Chemical Romance Mama by My Chemical Romance My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light ‘Em Up) by Fall Out Boy The Carpal Tunnel of Love by Fall Out Boy Young and Menace by Fall Out Boy

Happy/Fun Scenes- Tongue Tied by Grouplove Bang! by AJR 100 Bad Days by AJR Wasted by Tiësto 3 Nights by Dominic Fike City in a Garden by Fall Out Boy I Took a Pill in Ibiza (SeeB Remix) by Mike Posner  Safe and Sound by Capital Cities Collar Full by Panic! At The Disco Ahead By a Century by The Tragically Hip American Idiot by Green Day Superhero by The Script Wild Things by Alessia Cara Here’s To Never Growing Up by Avril Lavigne Do It All The Time by I Don’t Know How But They Found Me Burn by Ellie Goulding Move To Miami by Enrique Iglesias & Pitbull Mad Hatter by Melanie Martinez King of the World by Young Rising Sons Bulletproof Heart by My Chemical Romance Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy Where Did The Party Go by Fall Out Boy Sunshine Riptide by Fall Out Boy Last of the Real Ones by Fall Out Boy Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) by Fall Out Boy Time To Dance by Panic! At The Disco Crazy=Genius by Panic! At The Disco The Overpass by Panic! At The Disco Roaring 20s by Panic! At The Disco Victorious by Panic! At The Disco LA Devotee by Panic! At The Disco Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time by Panic! At The Disco Something Good by alt-j Hollywood by MARINA

Badass/Dark Scenes- Pretty Waste by Bones UK Bubblegum Bitch by MARINA Born For This by The Score Kings & Queens by Ava Max Castle by Halsey Caffeine by Casey Lee Williams Heaven Knows by The Pretty Reckless Joan of Arc by In This Moment Believer by Imagine Dragons Sand Storm by Apashe you should see me in a crown by Billie Eilish Power & Control by MARINA Fancy by Iggy Azalea Look What You Made Me Do by Taylor Swift Empire of Our Own by RAIGN Revolution by Unsecret & Ruelle Unstoppable by The Score Control by Halsey Gasoline by Halsey Tag, You’re It by Melanie Martinez  Up In The Air by Thirty Seconds To Mars So What by P!NK Do It Like A Dude by Jessie J Ready For It? by Taylor Swift Teenagers by My Chemical Romance Centuries by Fall Out Boy I Don’t Care by Fall Out Boy Rat a Tat by Fall Out Boy Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea by Fall Out Boy Champion by Fall Out Boy Thnks fr the Mmrs by Fall Out Boy One Thing by Casey Lee Williams I May Fall by Casey Lee Williams This Life Is Mine by Casey Lee Williams Let’s Kill Tonight by Panic! At The Disco Girls/Girls/Boys by Panic! At The Disco The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty by Panic! At The Disco Mount Everest by Labrinth Legendary by Skillet Homewrecker by MARINA Modern Day Cain by I Don’t Know How But They Found Me

That One Vibin’ Scene- When I RIP by Labrinth Sweatin’ Somethin’ Awful by Okey Dokey Wasted by Tiësto Leave Me Alone by I Don’t Know How But They Found Me Piano Fire by Sparklehorse Blinding Lights by The Weeknd Good News by Ocean Park Standoff Hey There Delilah by Plain White T’s East of Eden by Zella Day Hazy Shade of Winter by The Bangles (or the Gerard Way cover) 5:15 by Bridgit Mendler Here by Alessia Cara Joan of Arc by In This Moment Mr. Doctor Man by Palaye Royale Cool For a Second by Yumi Zouma Counting Stars by One Republic Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood Ho Hey by The Lumineers We Can’t Be Friends by Dream Koala Public Making Out Is Like Ugh by DNE Sober II (Melodrama) by Lorde North by Sleeping at Last 400 Lux by Lorde No. 1 Party Anthem by Arctic Monkeys Still Don’t Know My Name by Labrinth Primadonna by MARINA dontmakemefallinlove by Cuco

That ‘Holy Shit I Can’t Believe That Just Happened’ Scene- All For Us by Labrinth (or the Zendaya version) Raquel y Sergio Juntos by Ivan M. Lacamera Forever by Labrinth Coming Home by Falling in Reverse Superheroes by Falling in Reverse (also works really well for cliffhanger-ending scenes) Carry On by Falling in Reverse The Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks (if you don’t like country music, listen to the All That Remains cover) Zombie by The Cranberries Obstacles by Syd Matters Glory and Gore by Lorde Empire of Our Own by RAIGN When It’s All Over by RAIGN Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap

The Cinematic Teen Experience Scene- Amsterdam by Imagine Dragons Midnight City by M83 Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush (Meg Myers’ cover does better with the category though) Good News by Ocean Park Standoff Circles by Post Malone Rollercoaster by Bleachers Bad Idea! by girl in red Mr. Brightside by The Killers Fireflies by Owl City Undercover Martyn by Two Door Cinema Club Check Yes Juliet by We The Kings The Kids From Yesterday by My Chemical Romance I’m Not Okay by My Chemical Romance Fourth of July by Fall Out Boy Tip Toe by Imagine Dragons Someone To You by Banners Gone Gone Gone by Phillip Phillips Make You Mine by PUBLIC Out of my League by Fitz and The Tantrums Perks of Being a Sunflower by Soft Glas A World Alone by Lorde Wetsuit by The Vaccines Bored to Death by blink-182 There’s a Place by The All-American Rejects 18 by Anabor Mother by Smallpools Tompkins Square Park by Mumford and Sons 400 Lux by Lorde The Horse by Beach Fossils Ribs by Lorde Can I Call You Tonight? by Dayglow Hot Rod by Dayglow Marlboro Nights by Lonely God Under Stars by Aurora Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap Do Not Wat by Wallows Cold Cold Man by Saint Motel Forget Her by girl in red Buzzcut Season by Lorde A World Alone by Lorde Time to Pretend by MGMT Kids by MGMT Bags by Clairo My Tears Are Becoming a Sea by M83 Talia by King Princess (or the girl in red cover) Maybe by girl in red

And yeah that’s all I have for now. If you want any other categories just ask cause I’ll probably make a part two anyways. 

[faedawayyy]

1. leave the light on - dallas & ruby “don’t let go, keep her home. if you look into the distance, there’s a house upon the hill; guiding like a lighthouse, it’s a place where you’ll be safe to feel out-graced ‘cause we’ve all made mistakes, if you’ve lost your way...i will leave the light on.”  2. moral of the story - dallas & riley  “they’ll say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, that could be a load of shit, but i just need to tell you; some mistakes get made, that’s alright, that’s ok, you can think that you’re in love when you’re really just in pain.”  3. better off - dallas & liana  “i never let him know too much, he’s getting too emotional; i’m better off without him. i’m better off being a wild one. on the road a lot, had to keep it one thousand, so that i’m better off not being around ya’” 4. you broke me first - dallas & gisele  “i know you, you’re like this. when shit don’t go your way, you needed me to fix it and like me, i did, but i’ve run out of every reason. now suddenly you’re asking for it back, could you tell me where you get the nerve? you can say you miss all that we had, but i don’t really care how bad it hurts. you broke me first.”  5. angels like you - dallas & soraya “a little more hurt won’t kill you...tonight, mama says you don’t look happy; close your eyes. i know that you’re wrong for me, gonna wish we never met on the day i leave. i brought you down to your knees ‘cause they say that misery loves company; it’s not your fault i ruin everything & it’s not your fault i can’t be what you need. angels like you can’t fly down hell with me; i’m everything they said i would be.”

6. liability - dallas & zara “he don’t wanna know me, said he made a big mistake of dancing in my storm...says it was poison. so i guess i’ll go home, into the arms of the girl that i love (the only love i haven’t screwed up), she’s so hard to please but she’s a forest fire.”  7. me and my husband - brody & disney “and i am the idiot with a painted face, in the corner taking up space, but when he walks in, i am loved, i am loved. me and my husband, we are doing better. it’s always been just him and me together; so i bet all i have on that furrowed brow - at least in this life time, we’re sticking together. me and my husband, we’re sticking together.”

8. the other woman - brody & mabel  “the other woman will always cry herself to sleep. the other woman will never have his love to keep and as the years go by, the other woman will spend her life alone.”

9.  the 1 - brody & madison “but we were something, don’t you think so? roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool & if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you. in my defence i have none, for never leaving well enough alone - but it would have been fun, if you would have been the one.”

10. in another life - mason & madison “I got used to living without you, endless phone calls and dreaming about you. always said that you were my meant to be, but i guess i’m in love with your memory. you know i love you, i really do, but i can’t fight anymore for you.”

11. lost boy - mason & roxy “then one night as i closed my eyes, i saw his shadow flying high. he came to me with the sweetest smile, told me he wanted to talk for a while...run, run, lost boy, they say to me, away from all of reality. neverland is home to lost boys like me; and lost boys like me are free.” (HEAR ME OUT, ROXY ISN’T WENDY, SHE’S NEVERLAND FFS) 

12. ordinary people - mason & kendall  “we rise and we fall and we feel like just walking away. as our love advances, we take second chances. though it’s not a fantasy, i still want you to stay; we’re just ordinary people, we don’t know which way to go, ‘cause we’re ordinary people, maybe we should take it slow.”

13. off my face - blake & christelle  “your touch blurred my vision, it’s your world and i’m just in it; even sober, i’ not thinking straight ‘cause i’m off my face in love with you and i’m out my head, so into you & i don’t know how you do it, but i’m forever ruined by you.”

14. wil you still love me tomorrow? - margo & harvey “tonight in words unspoken you say that i’m the only one; but will my heart be broken, when the night meets the morning star? i’d like to know that your love is love i can be sure of. so tell me now, cause i won’t ask again, will you still love me tomorrow?”

15. falling - margo & gisele “forget what i said, it’s not what i meant and i can’t take it back, i can’t unpack the baggage you left. what am i now? what if i’m someone i don’t want around? i’m falling again. what if i’m down? what if i’m out? what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? i’m falling again.”

16. enough for you - margo & park “and you left me crying, wondering what i did wrong and you always say i’m never satisfied, but i don’t think that’s true cause all i ever wanted was to me enough. don’t you think i loved you too much to be used and discarded? don’t you think i loved you too much to think i deserved nothing?”

17. lost without you - nate & imogen “to love someone so much, to have no control...you said “i wanna see the world” and i said go; but i think i’m lost without you. i just feel crushed without you. i’ve been strong for too long, i never thought how much i needed you; i think i’m lost without you.” 

18. another love - nate & charlie  “i wanna sing a song that’ll be just ours, but i sang them all to another heart and i wanna cry, i wanna fall in love, but all my tears have been used up on another love; another love; all my tears have been used up on another love.”

19. training wheels - anthony & natasha "...i love everything you do when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit i do. i wanna ride my bike with you, fully undressed, no training wheels left for you. i’ll pull them off for you.”

20. hold on - hensley & evan “i pull you in, i feel your heartbeat. can you hear me screaming please don’t leave me? hold on, i still want you. come back, i still need you. let me take your hand, i’ll make it right. i swear to love you all my life. hold on, i still need you.”

21.tolerate it - ezra & madison “i wait by the door like i’m just a kid, use my best colours for your portrait - lay the table with the fancy shit and watch you tolerate it. if it’s all in my head tell me now, tell me i got it wrong somehow. i know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it.” 

22. you could be happy - ezra & felicity “you could be happy, i hope you are. you made me happier than i’d been by far, but somehow i everything i own smells of you and for the tiniest moment, it’s all not true. do the things that you always wanted to; without me there to hold you back, don’t think, just do.” 

23. more than this - jude & ivy “if i’m louder, would you see me? would you lay down in my arms and rescue me? ‘cause we are the same, you save me, and when you leave it’s gone again...when he opens his arms and hold you close tonight, it just won’t feel right ‘cause i can love you more than this.”

24. when it was me - issy & dom  “and i’m not jealous, no i’m not, i just want everything she’s got. you look at her so amazed, i remember way back when you used to look at me that way. tell me what makes her so much better than me? what makes her just everything i can never be? what makes her your every dream and fantasy ‘cause i can remember when it was me.” 

25. somewhere only we know - issy & levi “& if you have a minute why don’t we go, talk about it somewhere only we know? this could be the end of everything, so why don’t we go, somewhere only we know?”

[laudsimogen]

This Hunger, It Isn't You (Ch. 7)

Read on AO3

Laudna paced the campfire’s edge like a caged animal. She’s gone back to her realm for a while, knowing it would be some time before Imogen was ready to speak to her again, but the brief time she’d spent with the survivor had left her aching and desperate for more contact.

She didn’t have to wait long for it. As soon as Imogen woke up, she headed for the edge of the shadows, and Laudna hurried around to meet her.

She arrived just as Imogen peered into the dark and called, “Laudna? Are you out there?”

“I’m here!” Laudna said. She could clearly see Imogen in front of her, so close she could make out the freckles on the girl’s face, but it must have been difficult to see into the dark from the other side. Imogen’s eyes couldn’t seem to focus on her, but a smile spread across her face when she heard Laudna’s voice.

“Hi,” she said. “I have news!”

“Sounds like good news,” Laudna said. Her sluggish heart beat a bit faster at Imogen’s excitement. It was the most beautiful thing she’d seen in a long time. “What did you find?”

“Well, I went up against the Plague earlier—I didn’t last long, but that doesn’t matter. She seemed like she didn’t wanna be sacrificing us. She said a prayer or somethin’ when she hooked me, and she said she was sorry. That���s something, right?”

Laudna wished she could break through the campfire’s barrier and hug Imogen. She didn’t know what to think, whether there was actually some hope of the Plague being willing to strike with them against the Entity, but Imogen was so happy. When was the last time she’d seen someone happy?

“It could be,” she said simply.

“This is kinda weird,” Imogen said. “I can’t really see you. Do you think we could talk back at your place?”

Laudna paused. “…My place? Wouldn’t you rather stay here by the fire?” It wasn’t as if she were much to look at, anyway.

“Well, I just thought—I mean, I don’t wanna impose,” Imogen said. “But that’s a safe place to talk where we can actually be face-to-face, right? And a little more private.” Imogen glanced over her shoulder and Laudna followed her gaze to a group of survivors watching them.

“Of course,” Laudna said. “Yes, of course you’re welcome there. But we might run into others like me on the way, and, well…” She felt the hint of a blush beginning to form on her cheeks. She hadn’t even known that was possible anymore. “I can’t defend you like this. I would have to…change. I don’t want to scare you.”

“You mean how you looked the first time I saw you,” Imogen said. “It’s all right. I’ll know it’s still you.”

She held her hand out into the shadows, and Laudna stared at it for a moment. She couldn’t fathom why this girl trusted her so much, even after helping her before. She was still a killer. She still had blood on her hands.

But they were clean enough right now, and Imogen looked so expectant. Laudna took her hand gently, almost afraid Imogen would recoil at the cold touch of her skin or the boniness of her fingers, but she didn’t. She gripped Laudna’s hand and stepped out of the light.

“Thanks,” Imogen said with another soft smile. “I know all this must be weird for you. I really appreciate you takin’ the time to talk to me.”

“Oh, no,” Laudna said, “it’s no problem! It’s my pleasure, really. It’s so nice to have someone to talk to after so long…but let’s keep quiet until we get back to my woods. I don’t want to attract attention.”

Imogen nodded, and she kept her hold on Laudna’s hand as she was led through the Fog to the black woods. Laudna almost stopped for a moment to pick a buttercup from a small cluster of blossoms she spotted and give it to Imogen, but that would be weird, right? It would definitely be weird. The flowers were so pretty, though, and Imogen deserved something pretty. Maybe later, if they managed to remain friends.

Did they count as friends? Laudna wasn’t sure what qualified anymore, and it wasn’t as if she’d really had friends in the real world. She may have been mistaking simple amiability for friendship; after all, they had only spoken once before. But still, it was more than she’d ever had before.

Laudna offered Imogen the bed when they arrived. “The chairs are a little uncomfortable,” she explained. “Not that the cot is great, either. I’m sorry I don’t have something better for you.”

“It’s all right,” Imogen said, the hint of a laugh playing on her voice. She sat down and patted the spot beside her. “You should sit down, too.”

“Oh…are you sure?” Laudna stood awkwardly beside the bed. “I’m not—I mean—I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to be close to me. I know I kind of smell like…like death. There’s not much I can use to try to wash the scent off.”

“It’s all right,” Imogen said again. “Honestly, I’m not sure I’ll ever think anything smells bad again after being near the Plague.”

“She does smell awful, doesn’t she?” Laudna said, hushed, as if she could be overheard gossiping. She sat down next to Imogen. “Her whole realm smells like that. Poor thing. I’m sure she’s sick of being sick.”

“I’d imagine so,” Imogen said. “I couldn’t even handle it for five minutes.”

“At least I can be grateful the Entity didn’t ‘bless’ me with that particular power,” Laudna murmured. “Small mercies.”

She could see Imogen watching her out of the corner of her eye. The girl was silent for a moment, and then she said hesitantly, “Can I ask you about yourself, and your life before? Is that all right?”

Laudna hummed. “I don’t see why not,” she said, but her gut twisted a little at the thought of saying those things out loud to another person. It would be good to share it with someone, though, like a therapy of sorts.

“I wasn’t always like this,” she said. “I suppose that’s obvious. But Iwasalways…I don’t know…different. Too weird for the folk in town. They never understood me; they all called me names and kept away from me, and so, when I grew up, I said, ‘your loss,’ and I left!” Laudna tried to play it up, tried to pretend she was above it all and that she really hadn’t minded leaving, but the pretense fell flat. Imogen’s brow furrowed as she spoke, but she didn’t interrupt.

“I just wandered after that. I couldn’t find steady work, so I stayed in abandoned huts along the road and scavenged most of my food and supplies. It wasn’t bad sometimes, but I admit it was a bit lonely.” She looked down at her lap and fidgeted with her fingers. “Then, one day, I was out gathering mushrooms for supper and…well, I suppose I was robbed. I’m not sure what they expected to find on me; it’s not as if I had nice things. But they left me there in the woods with my throat slit, and that’s when the Entity came.”

Laudna subconsciously rubbed at the skin beneath her jaw. It was so long ago, but she’d never forgotten the feeling of her body emptying itself through her neck, the confusion, the pain. She hadn’t thought she’d be scared of dying, but she was. The wrongness of it all had been terrifying.

“The fog rolled in and its voice spoke in my head, telling me it could save me and take me away from that life. It sounded so kind at the time. It even felt like it was holding me with that fog, petting my hair, soothing me.” Laudna gritted her teeth. “It never even lied. I just trusted it too blindly.

“And so, I accepted its offer, and I woke up here. And immediately, it made me kill for it.” Laudna sighed. “I looked like this, too. Like I died back there, anyway. And when I realized it, that’s when my new form took over. It happened when I got upset or angry at first, but now I can control it. And I use it to hunt your kind to avoid punishment. That’s all life is here.” She bit her lip. “I’m sorry if you were expecting something noble. I hate to admit it, but I do have a choice in my actions. I just gave up on resisting my orders a very long time ago because it was easier that way. I know that’s rather cowardly of me.”

"No,” Imogen said quickly. “No. Nobody could blame you for that. It doesn’t sound to me like you have much of a choice at all.”

Laudna blinked, taken aback by the ferocity of Imogen’s statement. She’d expected disappointment, maybe even anger, but the girl just looked…sad. Sad for her.

“I think you may be the only one who feels that way, darling,” Laudna said quietly. “I’m not sure the others would forgive me for the pain I’ve inflicted on them. Not that I would blame them.”

“Still.” Imogen took her hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all that. It sounds awful. I hope I can help you escape this place.”

Laudna smiled sadly at Imogen. It was sweet how much hope she had, but Laudna couldn’t share it. Maybe—maybe—there could be a way out for the survivors. And for all the kindness Imogen had shown her, she’d do her best to help find it. But she couldn’t help but imagine there was nothing left for her. She’d been changed, mentally and physically, and she didn’t even know what she was anymore. If the real world hadn’t accepted her before, it certainly wouldn’t now.

She wouldn’t say any of that to Imogen, though. She simply gripped the girl’s hand back, desperately grateful for the touch of her skin, and nodded. “I hope so, too. But that’s enough of my silly little sob story. I want to learn about you.”