#you probably didn't ask for a long post

[sleep-nurse]

remember null? well after lore progression and violence he regained his true self now

say hi to narrow (or, nicknamed by hana, anguria which means watermelon in italian)

lore rambling in the tags because i'm not assed to write it here

[vesteneris]

some of my favourite hunger games pages from my sketchbook, mostly from 2023 and also Annie Cresta centred, bc I was doing a comic about her at the time

[starheirxero]

[rez]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway

Hope Castor can help Lunar.

Or atleast point him in the right direction.

I think Lunar is finally facing himself really.

And I understand wanting him out of the house but like- why are they surprised he ran away?

Thats like what Lunar does? He ran for months after he died, him running away is par for the course. And he was gone for three days because he was in jail? They didn't even accept that, they just got mad at him for running. As if Monty hadn't actually decided he was gonna kill Lulu.

Like Lunar would probably be dead if he'd stayed, or atleast injured.

'We do still love you and youre still our little brother'

-They say as they irepibly damage any and all trust Lunar had in them at the moment and in the future.

Moon I understand you want him to actually face consequences but there's no going back from this!

Lunar will never trust you, or anyone else in this family, again.

Castor pleasepleaseplease be the one who finds him.

Ohhh how I want to see more Pollux and Castor interactions bc as I said in another ask that idk if you received Cas almost seems to be avoiding talking to her specifically about Lulu.

That or Lunar gets kidnapped again.

More specifically by the creator so gem (or even just Cas) have to save him

But with Gemini separate there's also the possibility rez or someone else targets one of the twins while the other is away so thatd be neat.

ALL OF THIS NODNODNOD!!!!!!

I think Castor choosing to help Lunar while Pollux doesn't would be really interesting from a Gemini perspective. They're the twins, they make up one astral, one constellation together. If they truly become divided over this, I would be deeply fascinated to see where it goes from there since we got so used to seeing them as Gemini—a collective entity—rather than themselves.

And YEAH LIKE. Listen. I know that to the family, because they don't actually have the full picture, it looks like Lunar is just a loose canon that attacked Earth in a fit and then dipped. But also LUNAR TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT THEY WERE IN LITERALLY INCAPABLE OF RETURNING SOONER BC THEY WERE JAILED AND THEN REZ PUT THEM ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLOBE. AND MOON JUST WENT "I DON'T CARE." LIKE CMON 😭 "why were you gone for 3 days" "i was jailed and then left in russia" "whatever i dont care" MOON WHEN I GET YOU.......

THE "I LOVE YOUS" BETWEEN IT ALL YEAH.

I'm sorry but no amount of "you are family and we love you" is going to lessen the blow of "you have basically been squatting in my house (that i invited you into and you've been paying rent for) and you're a danger to this entire family so I want you to never speak or get near any of us until you sort yourself out." ESPECIALLY WHEN MOON SAID "YOU'RE LUCKY I EVEN STILL CONSIDER YOU FAMILY" LIKE I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S WILD. Again, I understand Moon in this situation. That does not mean I don't think he wasn't insanely rude LMAO 😭

Exactly like you said, Moon cannot undo this. Lunar has always looked up to old Moon and so I cannot imagine how much more it hurts coming from him. I honestly can't imagine a clear future where Lunar is going to feel safe amongst their own family again, knowing that they all viewed them as dangerous enough to be kicked out. Honestly, I'm half expecting this to end up as "Lunar lives independently and then realizes they actually feel better not living around their family and that they were kinda awful for them on accident" HDKSHDJS

YEA MORE CASTOR N POLLUX INTERACTIONS WOULD BE GREAT...... Yesyes I have received ur other ask and I'm actually gunna answer it after this one but GHOD yeah. Seeing them disagree abt smth is so interesting and I need more of it....... If one twin is hurt tho,,,,,,, ouhg. The Angst........

[deoidesign]

Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.

Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!

Hi there!

Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!

It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!

I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha

I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then

I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...

The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.

It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.

Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.

I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.

I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.

[a-dragons-journal]

have you heard of KissingMidnight? back in the mythical community i used to hear bout her from time to time, a p-shifter who became a real mermaid. Now, I wonder... what do you think the true story was?

I hadn't heard of her by that name, but I'd seen the photos she posted as supposed "proof" of her shifted form. (Somebody posted a log of them here, for anyone who hasn't seen.)

The ironic thing is, blatantly faked "proof" like this (photos are grainy at best, especially the ones of "scales" where you can't really even see the supposed bumps she's talking about, and the tail is... obviously a fake? there's no life to that thing at all), as opposed to "that's a normal human thing that you are presenting as p-shifting" type proof, indicates to me that she was knowingly lying. If it was a photo of someone who genuinely believed what they were saying (which, at this degree of shifting, would have to be a hallucination, not just reading too much into normal human body things), we wouldn't be able to see the shift, because it wouldn't be physical.

There's a lot of reasons she might have lied about it, and I really can't speculate on it. She might have originally believed it and then not known how to back out when she realized it wasn't real and just doubled down instead. She might have been just a plain old troll, though it looks like she put an awful lot of effort into it for a troll. It doesn't look like she ever started up any groups, but it's possible she was partly looking to get power over people via claiming "secret knowledge" on an individual basis, since she did tell people to contact her directly according to that log. She might have just liked the attention. Who knows. I'd be curious to know her reasons, if anyone ever tracked her down, but I'm not going to spend too much time thinking about it.

[yoosung-ah]

1. nothing could be more suspicious than that hair of yours. I swear this woman's hair gets bigger every time I see her. is that all real, or extensions? if it's real, then drop that haircare routine sis

2. if you choose the first one, Rika accuses you of being a pervert. she's not entirely wrong, but also, why did Cheritz even give us that option to begin with? this is not how I wanted to see him on his knees. bad vibes

3. top 10 saddest screenshots ever taken. literally just put me out of my misery

4. to draw this interaction this way was such a choice. I love how it looks both homoerotic and like a weeb's rendition of a biblical painting using their favourite characters from different franchises

5. first, I'm a fan of how this looks like the cover of one of those cheesy romance novels that grandmas read, and second, literally impossible. cruel of him and the writers to even suggest such a thing. I'm too selfish and don't have the coping skills or neurological genetics to do what you're asking of me

6. the absolute purity that radiates from this is unmatched. I almost don't want to be with him because he's too good for anyone. also babe did you break into V's studio to take this photo with the professional backdrop and everything? because I support that kind of behaviour

7. let's all together beat him up, then. if, like discussed in your AE, "there's no right or wrong," then violence should be acceptable. him and his security guard can't take us all on, and aren't you all about self-sacrifice? and protecting the twins? where's that attitude now?? you're already going to jail anyway. surely you have some repressed anger that you can make use of. Rika and I have enough crazy between us to equate to 3 men in battle too, like let's go

8. same energy as "now I feel weird" or "my head hurts" from days 8 and 9... sir, is this your tsundere way of saying you have feelings for me? I'm flattered, but as you can see, I already have a bf

9. we get called a goddess by both Chois. Cheritz saw the feedback from AS and Yoosung's route and made good use of it

10. "but not me" same. let me know if you need my help in any way. like how V "helped" Rika after her "skirmish" with your mom

... this feels oddly meta. as if Cheritz was like "we know you sickos have fantasized about ending up with both of them, so here you go" and you get to be with just Saeran in the alternative end. here it feels like Saeran's your husband, but Saeyoung's your boyfriend. like why they both holding bouquets, with us in the middle? I thought Saeyoung was looking at his brother's happiness, but he's actually looking at us

in addition to Chairman Han, I am petitioning Cheritz to also give us a Driver Kim and Prime Minister route. the former has a heart of gold but his voice and cadence makes me think he may have k!lled someone in the past, and I know that the latter has, but red flags never stopped us before

[trickstersaint]

hey hi hello! first of all i'd like to say i took your patron saint uquiz and it. Changed my life unironically it's so good. i follow you now because every line in that quiz was a gut punch and i loved it. top tier hurt honestly

my question is this - i am a fanauthor. on the side i also write my own original fiction but i specialize in fanfic. Am I allowed to use your poetry for a reference folder? I wouldn't use your poetry in a fic without explicit permission and without linking back here of course, and I'd never use it for commercial work outside of maybe taking inspiration without copying, but I wanna have a ref folder of Things That Made Me Feel Things about a character. It's not planned to be public as of yet, it's just supposed to be a bunch of screenshots in my drafts, but I'd like to maybe one day make it public once the fic was complete. (I already have your blog linked in my drafts actually, so if it goes public I'm not gonna forget.) I just want to make sure you're comfortable with me using your poetry for fanfic of all things

It's cool if not and have a great day! I still think your poetry is great and evocative and all

hi, anon! you're all good, i prommy. so glad you like the quiz + the poetry, and i would always prefer people come and ask questions if they're uncertain! no trouble at all.

my general stance is that as long as it's clearly credited, i am totally cool with my work being used in personal projects. like you said, i've got a tag for the things that people make! i love to see what people create. if it's for a noncommercial creative project then i would say there's no need to ask beforehand (unless it would make you more comfortable to ask, in which case go ahead and i'll almost certainly say yes <3). my only thing is that if you post it, please tag me in it/send it to me so that i can reblog it here for people to see!

if there are any questions about using my work that anyone has, feel free to ask. i don't think i've got anything particular going on outside of common practice! same way you'd treat, like, a richard siken poem or smth: you wanna credit it so that people can find the source material, and make sure you're not using it for profit unless you have an understanding with that author. i trust you all to be decent about it <3 kiss kiss go out and make your cool little things so that i can be delighted and amazed with them

[mckinlily]

Um, okay this is a loaded question, and if you want to play it safe, you can answer me in DMs, but...I personally feel that there's something wrong about how VLD placed Keith in the lead. In a way, I can see him becoming Black Paladin, but Shiro...it feels more natural to me, it feels right that Shiro is Black Paladin. I'm not into VLD beyond Shiro, Keith's parents, and the Lions personally, but I know someone who loves it and makes good points about Keith as a leader, but something just isn't aligning for me. Maybe it's because Shiro and Keith are two radically different archetypes, and they got swapped when they shouldn't have, I don't know.

I came here because I saw one of your post S2 rewrites, and I appreciated it. So, again, feel free to answer me in DMs (if you have problems DM-ing me, let me know and I'll fix it for you) if you don't mind discussing this with me.

As a final note, I'm not trying to hate any particular character. They're all fine on their own, and I don't want to treat one as worse than the other. I just want to figure out this problem I'm having with Shiro and Keith.

Thank you for reading this, and take care.

You came to the right blog! Because I adore Keith and believe he certainly has qualities that could make him a good leader—and absolutely hate him as the Black Paladin.

The thing I never understood about Voltron fandom debates about who should be the Black Paladin is that they always seem based in the idea that because Shiro is a leader and the Black Paladin, that means the Black Paladin is the ONLY leader on the team.

It is worth noting that that premise was disproven in episode one. It was Allura who made the final call on whether the paladins should run or stay and fight Sendak, and Shiro explicitly bowed to her authority. From then on, Shiro and Allura both lead Team Voltron until the show decided to destroy their characters, accepting influence and trading responsibilities depending on which one of them fit the situation at hand. Typically, Allura functions more in a commander and diplomat role and Shiro is more of a field officer, but they both pick up the lead where needed.

I know you didn't bring up Allura, but I think it is vital she is included in any conversation about leadership in Voltron. She is introduced as THE princess of an entire planet, she has more knowledge and experience of the intergalactic landscape than any of the other characters, she's been set up to be a leader since birth, and she IS the leader of Team Voltron for two whole seasons. Shiro makes it VERY clear he considers her to outrank him.

So the question you have to ask any time you consider replacing Shiro as Black Paladin: why NOT Allura? If the Black Paladin is the "best leader", why are you skipping over the one character already established and thriving in a leadership role? (And then you have to ask yourself if that character being a Black woman has anything do with that.)

Now I do think there are ways narratively you could answer that question. For instance, if you keep the Lions as sentient beings, that means they can make choices—including wrong ones. For instance, for a time when I believed anything might be salvaged after season 3, my head canon for Black choosing Keith was that Keith was the one missing Shiro as intensely and desperately as Black in that moment. Therefore, the choice was not about Keith being "better" but rather them being at the same place emotionally and that allowing the bond. The major problem with the Lion swap in canon is that we're given NO reason for Keith to be Black Paladin besides "plot device said so". Especially when we have Allura right there. It's just bad writing.

(By the way, you don't have to be pro-Black Paladin Allura. There's nuance to be had, and I personally am actually more One True Black Paladin!Shiro. But you can't just dismiss her--a capable and proven leader--from the conversation. Erasing her character is not the answer.)

ANYWAY. Back to Keith. Or rather, leadership on Team Voltron. Thing is, there are many different WAYS to be a leader. We already touched on the differences between Allura and Shiro. Keith does a good job of making split second decisions in battle or calling shots if Shiro is incapacitated or somehow separated. If you're in the middle of a fight, the plan has gone to shit, and the team just got separated, Keith is great at telling people what to do and mobilizing because something needs to get done NOW.

But that's not the only way to lead. Keith, for instance, is terrible at pep talks. He misses a lot of the nuances going on between him and his teammates off the battlefield. He doesn't plan ahead, like, ever. Sure he's great at making up stuff on the fly, but sometimes you need a plan.

But it's not just Keith. For instance, when Shiro, Lance, and Pidge go on the mission to rescue Slav, it's Pidge who calls all the shots. Is that not leadership? Pidge is often the one telling people what they need to do to solve technical problems. She's a center for information, typically the one collecting it, organizing and interrupting it, and then instruction others based on her conclusions. We see her take point on a mission, give orders to her teammates, coordinate efforts, problem solve in real time and relay a new plan in order to navigate unexpected challenges. Why not argue PIDGE should be the leader?

And there's when they freed the Balmera and Hunk took the lead. That mission was more challenging, but I'd argue in that arc, Hunk's leadership mattered less in terms of orders and more in terms of determining what type of team they'd be. Hunk was ADAMANT they free the Balmerans and set a tone for the team where they didn't leave suffering people behind. Hunk set up a moral imperative for the team that they'd be lesser without.

And Lance! There's actually lots to say about Lance and his strengths and types of leadership. But it's easy to point out that Lance is the one initiating fun and team bonding outside of battle. And when you're operating a giant robot held together by emotion connection, that's pretty dang important!

Point is, they're ALL leaders. They all have the capability to take point when needed. We SEE them all take charge at different points of the show.

So what's the Black Paladin then? If Shiro's The Leader then what does that mean? And this is the cool part! Because you know what Shiro is really really good? Know who else to put in charge. He's the one who first acknowledges Allura as an authority because he sees she has knowledge and experience he and the others do not. He selects which paladins to go together on which missions based on their strengths and the situations. He steps back and lets Pidge or Lance or Hunk call the shots if they're in an area of their expertise. Shiro's job isn't to tell people what to do. It's to decide who to put in charge of what and place them in best position for success.

There's another aspect of Shiro's leadership that is supporting his teammates, offering comfort, teaching, and giving the kids something solid they can believe in so they don't have to care the full weight of the war. But like letting others take charge where they shine, Shiro's leadership is all about enabling those he leads. One of my favorite Shiro lines is "It's too dangerous—I'm coming with you." Shiro's goal is never control. He is support. He leads the paladins because he sees the best in them and helps them reach it.

Narratively, also, Shiro is just set up to be the Black Paladin. The parallels between himself and the Black Lion are too obvious. From both being controlled and abused by Zarkon to Shiro's missing arm and Black's mission bayard. It's a kid's show. The symbolism isn't all that subtle. And if that weren't enough, we literally get an entire episode A plot in Space Mall about it where Shiro literally fist fights Zarkon for the Black Lion and in the end, he wins because he makes it clear it's the Black Lion's choice and trust.

Remember when I said the problem with Keith in the Black Lion in canon is that we're never given an explanation beyond "because I said so"? We're shown repeatedly why the Black Lion chooses Shiro. Even before we meet most the Lions, the other paladins themselves choose Shiro as their leader when Lance asks him if they should go through the wormhole. We repeatedly see Shiro seek to understand the Black Lion better, and Black responding. We see the similarities between their situations and backstories. We see them bond.

And I think this is really important because when Shiro is in the Black Lion, it's not about him being "in charge." It's about his relationship with the Black Lion. Yeah, of course, the other paladins are leaders! And they should be! But none of them have Shiro's relationship with the Black Lion. In this narrative, the Black Lion isn't a prize to be won but a relationship to nurture, and Shiro has put in the work for that relationship.

Which is really important because it means the Lions aren't a hierarchy. The Black Paladin is one role, an important role in Voltron, but no more important than any of the others. "The Leader" is not the most important person in the room. Instead, Shiro is a facilitator who enables all the others to perform their roles better.

Also can I just remind everyone just how well the Red Lion fits Keith? The paladin who keeps throwing himself out airlocks get the Lion most likely to go AWOL and fly off to save him. Keith defends his friends and team by attacking first and asking questions later, and Red started destroying a planetary body to get to Keith. The kid with abandonment issues gets the Lion who doesn't hesitate a second to go after him. And even the way they're shown to bond—that it's so physical and based in action rather than words—it's so Keith. I freaking love Keith as the Red Paladin. He gets to be as chaotic and free as he was always meant to be and gets a Lion who meets him every step of the way.

But if you say, no, Keith should be the Black Paladin. Well. What about Red wasn't working? Why was that role not one Keith fit in? Because from my reading of canon, Keith was thriving in Red. He got a secure attachment to his favorite person in the world, he gets the freedom to fly while also being part of something bigger, and he's making friends. It's still in its beginning stages, but he's figuring out how to bond with Lance, Hunk, and Pidge and you get the sense these are a kind of friendships he's never experienced before. But you know what could kill that really fast? Making him The Leader, a position that inherently sets him apart from the rest.

This is actually a problem twice over for Keith because unlike Shiro, who is shown to be given his role voluntarily by everyone around him and repeatedly shows he's earned that trust and respect, Keith is basically thrown into the Plot Device Machine and gets a t-shirt that says YOU'RE THE LEADER NOW. And we never get a reason beyond that.

This is actually my biggest problem season 3 and the Lion Swap. Because as soon as they made that choice, the Lions became a hierarchy. But what other explanation do we have? Keith won Favorite Character status got "prompted" to Black Paladin. But as soon as Black Paladin is a promotion, that makes the other paladin roles inferior. Red becomes the "second in command". So Lance get prompted but can never be equal to Keith. Allura gets the "Training Wheels" Lion/Blue, and they didn't have to write that as a massive demotion, but they sure did anyway. Hunk and Pidge are no longer leaders because they aren't in the "Leader" Lions.

It makes me so mad. One of the things I loved first about Voltron was the message of equality and servant leadership. The idea that a leader (represented by Shiro) is someone who elevates and enables everyone else. A recognition for the more "feminine" types of leadership—nurturing, compassion, emotional support. Which support roles are seen as vital and just as if not more important than being the "boss."

But we only got two seasons of that before they pulled the rug out and said, "Nope. We're returning back to patriarchy." Suddenly the Lions were in a strict chain of command, one character was the boss and the rest were his subordinates. There was a top position and a bottom position, and the characters were all fighting over each other. Perhaps most damningly, the Lion lost all personality and agency and become trophies to symbolize a character's power. And I'm not saying they're an accidental representation of how women are treated in Western media but I MEAN. It's right there.

My response when anyone says "[X] character should be the Black Paladin!" is—Why? Is their connection with the Black Lion deeper than Shiro's? Do they have more in common with Black than Shiro does? What could they achieve or obtain as the Black Paladin that they couldn't where they currently are?

And, though I don't think most of us realize it, the answer to that last one is power. Because we're soaked in patriarchy and a certain portrayal of "leadership (derogatory)" that many fans automatically assumed the Black Paladin HAD to be in control of and have power over the other paladins. So of course you want your favorite character to be the Black Paladin! You don't want your self-insert to be inferior!

But that's all the patriarchy talking. The other paladins are NOT inferior. There is NOT a hierarchy of types of people. Keith doesn't have to have Shiro's role because he's already equal as Keith.

Keiths look different from Shiros, but they're all equal and valuable as they are. Same goes for Lances, Hunks, Pidges, and Alluras. The whole point is they're stronger together. Their differences make them BETTER.

So yeah. Of course, Keith has some good leadership qualities. There's plenty of situations where it only makes sense for him to take the lead. But why on earth does he need to be the Black Paladin to do that? He's already Keith!

[grapecaseschoices]

@agentnatesewell

My first thought was 'NO!' but that is just Kendis being petty. I think it depends. Kendis is inclined to be more open / bend more with people they've got a soft spot with [even if she wants to deny said spot -- though she's more likely to dig in heels in the latter situation if she catches herself/when she's not impulsively reacting to their needs].

And actually, I'm remembering moments in game where I pictured Nate throwing his wet cow eyes at Kendis to get his way. For example, when they found that sick body in .... book two is it? Nate's immediately like, let's TOUCH THIS PERSON AND HELP. And Kendis wants to help, but Kendis' instinct is to protect THEMSELVES and what they care about. So quarantine. And Nate did his wet eyes -- and she's like arhrrrg you're .... not wrong/fine/i can consider your point.

The thing is that A[dam, in this case] is more willing to bend to Nate. He might deny it, but over the years he's hardwired [not to say there hasn't been moments where N has had to suck it up and sulk ... as F's pointed out, lol]. Kendis is in the denial stage of their affair -- heck, they're in the Does Not See It stage, just a bit still lmao. SO Nate needs to play it wise bc Kendis is as stubborn as Adam and ten times as petty.

so tl;dr mostly yes ... but he needs to be smart about it [and I think like Adam it really depends on the situation - ie if they're feeling particularly stubborn or if they even CAN give leeway. Though unlike Adam Kendis is more willing to let things burn to give loved ones what they want .... not their pride though.]

[heartbeetz]

did you see that tony grayson posted a video of somebody dressed up as anton riding a mechanical bull on twitter. incredible things are happening in the world around us every day

Woah........

[shippingmyworld]

No hate, just genuinely curious why you don't like the doomed by the narrative trope. It's soooo juciy and there's just so much potential overall, especially when they know it's coming.

I don't mind talking about it more off anon since it's cathartic and helps me process, but the short version is basically that I went through some shit and my mental health was in the pits when I was 18-22 years old. It left some lasting effects that I still struggle with to this day, but one of the ways I coped is by consuming literature. It was my escape into a happier place. That's why when I write, I want to be able to see my characters also reach that happy place in the end, no matter what they've struggled through.

It's not that I don't like doomed by the narrative. Hell, I love thriller and horror stuff, it's just that I can't subject myself to stuff like that very often. Like yeah, there's potential for something powerful in it, but at the end of the day doomed by the narrative usually means a bad ending for the character(s) - or at the very best a bittersweet ending. If something is tagged properly and I can take the time to mentally prepare myself, I'll be able to dive in eventually. The reason I can enjoy horror/thriller at all is because I jump in with the mindset that none of the characters will survive to the last page/scene (lol). So if I'm sucker punched by something out of left field it can cause me to unintentionally spiral, which is why I also tend to avoid that trope if it's applied to a ship. I can't tell you how many stories/movies/shows I've dropped mid-way through because a character was killed off with zero foreshadowing, done simply for the shock value of it.

[lususnatura]

🎤 🎤 🎤

a song that i associate with my muse meme!

AHH, hey, ramone!! thank you for sending in this prompt :D since you sent in three of the mic's, i shall now be treating you to three songs that make me think of blamore when i hear them / that i associate with it. an explanation of why i chose them will be in the tags <3

hozier - who we are.

icehouse - crazy.

depeche mode - personal jesus.

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

WAIT.

DID I NOT SEND YOU THE DRAWING I MADE-?

i know you sent this like days ago but nope! i didn't see any pretty gals waiting in my askbox sadly 😔</3

[musical-chick-13]

Akimeno for the ship game

Really gonna try to say something about them that isn't just AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Ship It

What made you ship it? This is kind of a hard question to answer, because I'm not fully sure. I always liked Himeno, and I did feel very sad about how obviously she wanted Aki to quit. And her devotion toward him tugged at something primal within me. But I was also in kind of a weird place when I first became aware of the manga and went, "Oh, I should check this out," so I think back then it was really more of...an appreciation for her character and the thematic elements of the ship rather than something I Went Feral Over For Personal Reasons? Honestly, I think it was the episode 8 ED (aka MAPPA's Grief AMV) that made me go from "I appreciate this on a narrative level" to "Oh, this is The Ship Ever, actually." (Fun fact, I did an overly-detailed narrative and musical analysis on said ED after it aired just. For fun. To get the Thoughts™ out of my brain.) Genuinely there are not enough words to describe how thoroughly this sequence fucked me up.

What are your favorite things about the ship? YOU EXPECT ME TO TALK ABOUT THIS AT REASONABLE LENGTH??? UGH OKAY, FINE, I'LL TRY, I GUESS. I love how comfortable they are around each other and how they can be in each other's personal space and it's not a huge deal. I love how DEEPLY they care, even if it's to the point of not always being completely healthy. I love how, even though they both have so much respective issues and there are...uh...as-yet-unexplained-in-the-anime Story Reasons for Aki acting in...certain ways...they STILL managed to build this incredibly close and touching relationship. Genuinely everything in the world they live in was kind of conspiring against them in terms of letting them get to a place of mutual emotional attachment, but they got to that place anyway. And it's SO clear that they care SO MUCH: Aki gets to GRIEVE when she dies because she MATTERS; Himeno tries SO HARD to act cavalier about everything, but she CANNOT be cavalier about him, it's impossible, she doesn't even TRY to be; Aki gets mad/petty/vindictive on multiple occasions over the fact that people have hurt her, and Himeno gets borderline-unhinged about the idea of him being in danger. But ultimately, above all, the thing that I really love about them is that, even if there are a lot of things that might not get fully communicated, they still understand each other. And that's, I think, the most important thing to me regarding a ship.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? I mean...really the unpopular opinion is just that I ship this in the first place, lmao. (Wow, me shipping something that's NOT the fan-preferred ship, what a surprise.) Um...I guess the fact that I believe the romantic feelings were mutual? There are a lot of things I could point to for this (especially some of the anime-specific animation choices), but I'll stick to the biggest reason (because this is already long enough) which is that, overall, this piece of media is a very tragic story. One laced with hope, yes, but still a tragedy in many ways. And, as someone who used to be a stage actor, having to inhabit various fictional characters day after day, I tend to look at fiction from the angle of, "What interpretation choice makes the theme/genre stronger?" So, what's the bigger tragedy: Two people, for all their faults, are in love-could have had time together and been on the same page and carved out some small pocket of happiness, however brief-but one of them is physically prevented by story elements from ever realizing or acting on it? That the feelings WERE there and it COULD have worked but it never got there due to circumstances COMPLETELY outside anyone's control? Or "girl likes best friend who doesn't like her back." Some people may think that straight-up unrequited love is more tragic, but I think it's infinitely more sad when the love is mutual but forced to go unrealized.

Ship ask game

[sabraeal]

hello! I absolutely love your writing style -- have a lovely way of implying what the character is thinking or feeling without being very obvious about it, so as a result your characterizations (regardless of the characters's ages) are mature (I'm not sure if I did a good job of articulating myself, sorry haha). What are your inspirations and influences? Thanks and hope you have a lovely week!

Ahhh, thank you so much! I am a firm believer in Limited 3rd Person POVs, and an even bigger one in low narrative interference. The job of a POV character is to relay events and their thoughts about it from their point of view, which I think at times people confuse with the like...true perception of the story. So I try to make sure that they only perceive what they are able to-- which sometimes means that they misinterpret other characters' motives, or disregard things that are important for the story later. I really want the reader to work a little, to make their own opinions about what's going on, since that's what really makes a story you want to go back to-- something where each time you read, you find a little something more to deepen your understanding of why things happen, or how other characters are perceiving events.

I would say my inspiration and influences change from fic to fic! Every story is a little different, and I draw from different things I've read or watched or heard depending on what I want the fic to be. I'd say that my perennial favorite authors are probably George RR Martin (Jaime/Brienne was a formative ship for me, both in ASoIaF, and in fic), Daniel Abraham, Genevieve Valentine, Catherynne M Valente, and Frances Hardinge; but who I draw from purely depends on what I'm writing 🤣 There are fics where I strive to be more lyrical (not a natural muscle for me to flex), and some that are more comedic; some where I'm digging deep into a more archaic fantasy style and some where I'm going for something comfortably modern. I've also absolutely been influenced by other fic writers, but that list would be MASSIVELY long.

[andorerso]

Sissi, please satiate my very academic curiosity about your two OCs Dani and Elijah because I've seen you tag them on some very omg-thats-my-jam dynamics.

Like I need details. Whats their story? Do they hate each other and then oh-shit-regrettably-its-u hate-fuck in some Boston bar? Like I already have headcanons for them, we neeed moore 🥺

me seeing this ask in the morning

they're honestly one of my favorite OC ships, like top three AT LEAST. and honestly? hooking up in some Boston bar is not unimaginable! like you're not very far off at all and I love it 🥰 please tell me more headcanons *chin in hands*

you might regret asking me though because I have a looooooot to say! so much to say. too much, you might think 😭 but they have a long story, and I couldn't give them justice if I condensed it, so I think I'm gonna put this under a read-more

okay, so important context first: the setting is urban fantasy with magic and different sorts of monsters but the twist that it's all out in the open and the world has known about the existence of these paranormal things for a long while now.

Dani's in her mid-20s (around 25-27 at the start) and she has this the devil may care attitude with some serious abandonment issues (because her family situation is complicated and not the greatest). She's very rarely had real connections with anyone, whether platonic or romantic, so it makes her very lonely and basically the only person she's close to is her brother. She will pretend she likes it that way but I mean... she clearly does not. She's also a licensed monster hunter, but while most of her family on her mother's side, including her brother, were/are witches, she's got no magic of her own. So it makes her kind of an outsider even in her own family.

And Elijah isn't human. In fact, he comes from a different dimension altogether so he's a something but no one knows what yet because his kind hasn't really been seen ever before and people just don't have a name for it. He's a couple hundred years old which is old in the human sense, but not so much for their kind. Kinda early 30s in appearance. Elijah technically isn't even his real name but it's his human name and what he goes by for the entire story. His dimension is sort of splintering apart at the seams and his kind are dying by the millions so many of them started seeking refuge in other worlds, including our world. Of course they all have different attitudes towards humans, some think they should be peaceful and co-exist, some think they should just take over and subjugate humans, and some think that co-existence IS optimal but they don't think very high of humans regardless and don't really want to interact much. Basically like "you're just a small ant and I'm better than you in every way but I don't hate you so I guess you can stay." Elijah falls more into that category at the start, although he's actually curious about humans, but he's following his mentor's lead who's kinda like a father figure and the person who leads the group he came over with.

So anyway, Dani gets tangled up in this whole situation as she's one of the first person to actually see and interact with one of the others. You could kinda say they're enemies because Elijah's super loyal to his own people, and Dani's very skeptical and distrustful of them. But most of all, she really doesn't trust Elijah's mentor and that obviously creates some tension between them. So they start off on the wrong foot and they really can't stand each other first. It's a lot of unfair assumptions and prejudices basically, and they're both guilty of it. But they also clash simply because of their personalities.

Elijah's calm, collected, reserved, a bit cold some would say, he doesn't show much emotion and is entirely too serious for his own sake. Dani's more laidback and fun and likes to hide her pain with stupid jokes. She's also very much ruled by her emotions so she's hot-tempered and prone to make hasty decisions that often result in bad consequences and Elijah just. does not vibe with that. At all. There's definitely attraction from the start tbh but it's a "fuck, why them, I cannot stand them" kind of attraction. The "I think you're hot and I'm annoyed about it" kind of attraction.

They do become friendlier as time goes on and they find common ground and realize that they may not be so different after all. During this stage, only a few months after meeting, they actually end up sleeping together at a low point in both of their lives. It's one of those "you're here, I'm here, let's just make each other feel alive" kind of things. But because this is absolutely a slowburn, the next morning Dani's like "you know that was just a one night sort of thing, right?" because she does fool around with people often so it's nothing new to her but Elijah does not, isn't used to this, so he's like "uhm... yeah of course." But internally he's kinda spiraling about it. They don't talk about it, but ofc they're thinking about it.

So as time goes on, they end up becoming really close as friends and literally everyone's shocked about this development but they just... see each other, you know? They get each other in an instinctive way that no one else does. Elijah's absolutely in love with Dani at this point but doesn't really understand what he's feeling so he never does anything about it, just pines from afar, and Dani's sort of still in the denial phase (plus you know, the whole "he's my best friend and I don't really have a lot of people I'm close to so I can't lose him"). Dumb shit, obviously.

There's a jealousy sideplot at some point because I like them but it's not a love triangle because I hate those. It's basically just more of Elijah pining to be honest. Lots of angst because that's just how I roll. Over time, there's like 2 or 3 incidents when they actually kiss (I could even see another one night stand at some point, it depends) but they always pull back or change their minds or something happens outside of their control and it just never ever goes anywhere. At this point, Elijah loves her and realized it, but he's actually kinda content to be just her friend. He's okay with loving her from afar because he doesn't really think it possible to be with her for real, and it's very sad.

Dani, on the other hand, is the opposite. She has also accepted the fact that she loves him and she does not want to be just friends. At some point, they have one of those heated arguments that end with Dani, finally too frustrated with this thing between them, blurting out that she loves him, and Elijah for his own reasons (he has a lot of shit going on) pretty much ignores it and pulls away from her. It's like "this is best for both of us, I'm trying to protect you" blablabla, it's stupid and although they technically remain friends, their relationship is very obviously strained because Dani doesn't forgive him for it. Like the girl can absolutely hold a grudge, but also this is probably the time he hurts her the most, so understandable. I mean you gotta know that this is the first time she said those words to anyone that isn't her brother, and she feels rejected, feels like doesn't love or want her, feels kinda worthless because he's an immortal being from a different dimension, ofc he doesn't want her, why would he, and she feels incredibly angry that she still loves him despite all that. It’s a cycle of self-hatred and resentment, and then all that, along with some other things, pushes Dani into spiraling and she has a brief evil arc, and that's another thing preventing them from being together. (She's pretty mean to him during this era but he's also one of the things that brings her back to herself so you know... fun stuff!)

Anyway, they do get together eventually. I'm undecided on this part because idk what works better yet. One possibility is that one of them, probably Elijah, shows up at her door before a big battle that's gonna happen and confesses and they spend the night together knowing it might be their last night alive. The other possibility is that one of them, probably Dani gets hurt during the battle and Elijah confesses while she's bleeding out in his arms. Either way, they don't expect to survive so they finally come clean, and then... they survive. So now they gotta actually confront this for once.

They decide to give a relationship a try, but it doesn't end well the first time. Sure, they're happy and disgustingly in love for a while but neither knows how to be in a relationship because neither have experience. So as soon as something comes along to shake their foundations a bit, the whole thing crumbles. The following crash and burn might even be the angstiest part of the story, idk. I'm gonna be honest, the end does get a little fuzzy, I haven't fleshed out everything yet. I know I want there to be a temporary character death at some point because I know it's cheap but I live for that stuff. So Elijah dies, probably while they're still broken up, and Dani definitely goes a little feral and sets out on an impossible path to bring him back. The good stuff. He comes back, they reunite, etc. I don't wanna say everything's perfect after that because they still gotta work on their issues, but they have a happy ending and that's what matters.

Tropes include but not limited to: slowburn, mutual pining, it was always you, battle couple, hot-headed & level-headed, unhealthy codependency/mutual obsession, soulmate coded, opposite sides of the same coin, not even death can defeat us, anguished declarations of love, sad people growing an intense connection from shared trauma, grumpy character who only smiles for love interest

Songs that remind me of them: 

Remember to Remember Me by Isak Danielson - this one is pretty angsty, but it really fits a certain period in their story and every single time I hear it, it makes me think of them

An Evening I Will Not Forget by Dermot Kennedy

Evermore by Taylor Swift ft. Bon Iver

The Alcott by Taylor Swift ft. The National

Love Like Ghost by Lord Huron

Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler

(Dani also has a playlist that she made for him even when they were just friends and it's super secret and she's kinda embarrassed about it but she does end up sharing it with him later when they get together. Fun fact, I did actually make that playlist on Spotify.)

Other trivia tidbit that I like but couldn't fit into elsewhere: Dani's full name is Danielle and she HATES when people call her that. Her parents used to do it when they were angry, and her brother still does it to mess with her or when he's disappointed with her. So no thank you. Except if it's Elijah. Other people say it in anger or admonition but Elijah says it out of sheer devotion, and she's very into it.

I could also like... make moodboards if anyone's interested? Or even if no one's interested...