#you probably didn't ask for a long post

[sleep-nurse]

remember null? well after lore progression and violence he regained his true self now

say hi to narrow (or, nicknamed by hana, anguria which means watermelon in italian)

lore rambling in the tags because i'm not assed to write it here

[vesteneris]

some of my favourite hunger games pages from my sketchbook, mostly from 2023 and also Annie Cresta centred, bc I was doing a comic about her at the time

[starheirxero]

[rez]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway

Hope Castor can help Lunar.

Or atleast point him in the right direction.

I think Lunar is finally facing himself really.

And I understand wanting him out of the house but like- why are they surprised he ran away?

Thats like what Lunar does? He ran for months after he died, him running away is par for the course. And he was gone for three days because he was in jail? They didn't even accept that, they just got mad at him for running. As if Monty hadn't actually decided he was gonna kill Lulu.

Like Lunar would probably be dead if he'd stayed, or atleast injured.

'We do still love you and youre still our little brother'

-They say as they irepibly damage any and all trust Lunar had in them at the moment and in the future.

Moon I understand you want him to actually face consequences but there's no going back from this!

Lunar will never trust you, or anyone else in this family, again.

Castor pleasepleaseplease be the one who finds him.

Ohhh how I want to see more Pollux and Castor interactions bc as I said in another ask that idk if you received Cas almost seems to be avoiding talking to her specifically about Lulu.

That or Lunar gets kidnapped again.

More specifically by the creator so gem (or even just Cas) have to save him

But with Gemini separate there's also the possibility rez or someone else targets one of the twins while the other is away so thatd be neat.

ALL OF THIS NODNODNOD!!!!!!

I think Castor choosing to help Lunar while Pollux doesn't would be really interesting from a Gemini perspective. They're the twins, they make up one astral, one constellation together. If they truly become divided over this, I would be deeply fascinated to see where it goes from there since we got so used to seeing them as Gemini—a collective entity—rather than themselves.

And YEAH LIKE. Listen. I know that to the family, because they don't actually have the full picture, it looks like Lunar is just a loose canon that attacked Earth in a fit and then dipped. But also LUNAR TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT THEY WERE IN LITERALLY INCAPABLE OF RETURNING SOONER BC THEY WERE JAILED AND THEN REZ PUT THEM ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLOBE. AND MOON JUST WENT "I DON'T CARE." LIKE CMON 😭 "why were you gone for 3 days" "i was jailed and then left in russia" "whatever i dont care" MOON WHEN I GET YOU.......

THE "I LOVE YOUS" BETWEEN IT ALL YEAH.

I'm sorry but no amount of "you are family and we love you" is going to lessen the blow of "you have basically been squatting in my house (that i invited you into and you've been paying rent for) and you're a danger to this entire family so I want you to never speak or get near any of us until you sort yourself out." ESPECIALLY WHEN MOON SAID "YOU'RE LUCKY I EVEN STILL CONSIDER YOU FAMILY" LIKE I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S WILD. Again, I understand Moon in this situation. That does not mean I don't think he wasn't insanely rude LMAO 😭

Exactly like you said, Moon cannot undo this. Lunar has always looked up to old Moon and so I cannot imagine how much more it hurts coming from him. I honestly can't imagine a clear future where Lunar is going to feel safe amongst their own family again, knowing that they all viewed them as dangerous enough to be kicked out. Honestly, I'm half expecting this to end up as "Lunar lives independently and then realizes they actually feel better not living around their family and that they were kinda awful for them on accident" HDKSHDJS

YEA MORE CASTOR N POLLUX INTERACTIONS WOULD BE GREAT...... Yesyes I have received ur other ask and I'm actually gunna answer it after this one but GHOD yeah. Seeing them disagree abt smth is so interesting and I need more of it....... If one twin is hurt tho,,,,,,, ouhg. The Angst........

[deoidesign]

Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.

Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!

Hi there!

Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!

It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!

I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha

I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then

I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...

The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.

It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.

Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.

I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.

I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.

[threestarsaboveclouds]

do you like music? also, are you able to detect the sounds of the universe?

@halfd3af

TSAC: I am no cultural historian, but I do have some recordings of music in my archives. Despite my hard-coded focus on pragmatism, I am able to appreciate creative works on occasion. Though… I must admit that most of my creators’ music is of little interest to me. It is simply too short and repetitive for my tastes. I understand why; our creators operated on much shorter timescales than iterators, so longer compositions would be impractical to listen to.

However there are some exceptions; one piece I enjoy was created by a composer from the Orange hegemonic musical dynasty. The piece is composed using melodies based on the digits of a series of irrational numbers, meaning the melodies would never repeat. One recording of the piece was over fifty cycles long; it was created by an iterator who evidently had an abundance of free time on their hands. Due to the nature of irrational numbers, the song could theoretically go on forever. I have a recording of one section of the piece in my Data Archives. I return to it periodically.

I also “listen” to signals from the universe, as you mentioned, but not in the form of sound. In order for sound waves to travel, they need to propagate through matter. The vacuum of space prevents this. Rather, I can detect signals in the form of radio waves using my telescopes. Some of these signals, when converted into audible noise, have very unique sounds. You might liken it to music.

The most common “sounds” I hear are actually terrestrial in origin, and come from the planet’s own magnetic field.

These signals in particular are the result of electromagnetic activity in the atmosphere. Electrical discharges, such as lightning, cause charged particles to bounce up and down along the planet’s magnetic field lines, emitting radio waves as they travel. When these radio waves are converted into audio, they have a distinct “whistling” sound.

Much of this lightning is the result of iterator activity. In a way, by picking up these signals, I am hearing the distant echoes of my faraway peers. I will note that these signals are growing weaker over time, indicating that global iterator activity is on the decline. This…. worries me somewhat. But I digress.

There are plenty of radio emissions of celestial origin as well. Pulsars, rapidly spinning stellar remnants, emit strong concentrated beams of radiation. These signals are picked up by my radio telescopes, and when converted to audio, they manifest as steady, constant beats. Some of them sound quite musical in nature, while others bear a likeness to the heartbeats of living creatures. While not exactly "music" in the traditional sense, listening to these signals amuses me. They are a reminder that the universe teems with activity and life.

[ OOC: Sources for the graphs used in the drawing above: chorus waves, pulsar sounds. If you weren't already aware, the sound effects emitted by neuron flies in-game are directly sampled from one of the NASA videos linked above! ]

[a-dragons-journal]

have you heard of KissingMidnight? back in the mythical community i used to hear bout her from time to time, a p-shifter who became a real mermaid. Now, I wonder... what do you think the true story was?

I hadn't heard of her by that name, but I'd seen the photos she posted as supposed "proof" of her shifted form. (Somebody posted a log of them here, for anyone who hasn't seen.)

The ironic thing is, blatantly faked "proof" like this (photos are grainy at best, especially the ones of "scales" where you can't really even see the supposed bumps she's talking about, and the tail is... obviously a fake? there's no life to that thing at all), as opposed to "that's a normal human thing that you are presenting as p-shifting" type proof, indicates to me that she was knowingly lying. If it was a photo of someone who genuinely believed what they were saying (which, at this degree of shifting, would have to be a hallucination, not just reading too much into normal human body things), we wouldn't be able to see the shift, because it wouldn't be physical.

There's a lot of reasons she might have lied about it, and I really can't speculate on it. She might have originally believed it and then not known how to back out when she realized it wasn't real and just doubled down instead. She might have been just a plain old troll, though it looks like she put an awful lot of effort into it for a troll. It doesn't look like she ever started up any groups, but it's possible she was partly looking to get power over people via claiming "secret knowledge" on an individual basis, since she did tell people to contact her directly according to that log. She might have just liked the attention. Who knows. I'd be curious to know her reasons, if anyone ever tracked her down, but I'm not going to spend too much time thinking about it.

[determunition]

Hi so I’ve curious, (Been nervous about starting my own AU) When you first started posting OFH (on twitter/ao3) how did you get the courage to post it? Were you ever afraid of getting called ‘cringe’ or ‘weird’ or anything else negative? If so how were you able to get over it? (Btw I do love this AU with all my heart!) Sorry if any of these questions are too sensitive!

hi!! thanks for the questions, i'm flattered to be considered a source of wisdom about this x3

OFH/retyrement, like most fandom things i do, started as kind of a silly shitpost thing; i love human AUs, and when my buddy squid_hug made that original text post about the retirement home it tickled me too much to ignore. objectively the scrybes being human old people bickering in a retirement home is a goofy, silly idea, and that's how it started as an AU, down to the written fic. i think that in itself made it a bit easier to post about

however! even with that, when i started posting the first pieces of art it was definitely a "do it scared" situation lmao; i don't remember where i heard this, but in some cases it takes even more courage to do something new when you're already known for something than it does to start something new with no presence at all, and that was definitely true with the retyrement AU. it was my first contribution to the fandom too! i was definitely worried it wouldn't go over well with anyone bc it was so damn niche lolol

my main piece of advice for getting over this fear (besides just doing it scared until you're not scared anymore) is to get yourself a hype squad lmao; though maybe the more accurate term would be a mutual AU ecosystem. i had squid to develop a lot of the AU with me at the start and we bounced a lot of silly ideas off of each other, and now i have a lot more folks around to crack jokes and hype each other up about our art and fics! also at the beginning i had a point where i was feeling a little self-conscious about continuing to post (the AU had a painfully small amount of engagement at the beginning lol), but as soon as i got one (1) ask saying "i wanna see more of this" i took that as my green light to get as silly with it as possible lmao

so ig my TL;DR advice is: don't take shit too seriously, remember it's all in good fun, and surround yourself with folks who enjoy funny lil AUs as much as you do! the second thing can be hard, as it involves uh, putting yourself out there in the first place, but embracing that discomfort is a necessary evil for having a good-ass time! if you can successfully kill the part of yourself that cringes then you'll never be cringe again

godspeed on your own AU endeavors, the digital world is always better for having another crazy creative alternate universe in it <3

[keepswingin]

Skz Minho + Paranoia by Kang Daniel, 1500 words or less

The rain wakes him, pounding against the covered window beside his bed. 

He turns his head and stares at the wooden planks that cover it for a long moment, waiting for thunder to follow. Lightning flashes through the lingering cracks between the planks that he never bothered to cover, and he sits up, shivers shooting down his spine, eyes fixated.

He waits, and waits longer, heartbeat growing loud in his ears, nearly drowning out the storm. There's a loud crash of thunder that feels as though it shakes the house, lightning, and then he sees it again, through the tiny gaps in the planks, trying to push through. 

He jumps up and runs to the kitchen, blindly searching for something, anything, stumbling over his feet, pricking his fingers, before he finds a knife and bolts back into the bedroom, brandishing it at the rotted fingers that try to claw their way through the boarded window. 

His chest feels tight, and it's hard to breathe, hard to think, but he needs to go to it, he needs to kill it, kill it before it gets inside and kills him - 

"Jagiya?" 

Han calls from his right, voice muffled by the blanket he has tucked up to his chin. When there's no answer, the sheets shuffle with his groggy movement. "Minho?" 

The knife trembles in Minho's grip. When he looks back at the window and waits for the lightning to flash again, the fingers are gone. It's just them. Nothing is trying to get in. "I'm - I'm here," Minho whispers, willing his voice not to shake. "I'm here." 

Han makes a soft noise that's meant to be a confirmation. 

"Come back to bed," he mumbles, and Minho exhales, hand lowering to his side. He slides the knife under his pillow as he climbs back into bed, and tries to pretend that he doesn't feel something else watching his back as he curls around Han once more. 

x

It's always hard to bring himself to unlock the door, his hands shaking as he reaches for the final bolt just beneath the doorknob. Han is already hidden away in the basement, something he does now without being asked, Minho locking the door behind him.

Han hadn't understood it at first, why Minho had asked such a thing of him, but then the older had explained, breathless and trembling behind a hot cup of tea. 

The air outside wasn't safe for someone like Han, someone with skin untouched by a toxic sun. It isn't safe to breathe, to look, to be near, and Minho's skin was used to the ashes, to the radiation and ruin and rejection of a planet that never recovered. His skin wouldn't bubble or bruise or seep, but Han's would, and he needed to go down into the basement to be safe whenever Minho went to open the door. 

Han always needed to be safe. 

Minho couldn't protect him from the world ending, but he could protect him from this. 

The door sticks to the molding when he tries to tug it open - the Earth was too hot now, too cold later, too inhabitable for anyone but them - he gives it a shove of his shoulder, heart stuck in his throat, and staggers outside. 

He looks around, takes it all in, and nearly chokes on the acid taste of the air. The troves of rumble and rock and remains. He tumbles backwards, slamming the door shut behind him less than a second later, breathing heavily, tears in his eyes. 

There was no outside anymore, no matter how many times he checks. There is nowhere for them to go. They need to stay here. They need to keep staying here. 

He needs to keep Han safe.

x

"Minho," Han calls, thumbing through an old book that predicts a world of gentle ocean waves and lush, endless forests. Minho hums from across the room, counting their rations, trying to make them last. He doesn't want to go back out, not ever. He's done looking. They could just stay here, and if they lowered their intake...if he ate just barely anything and gave Han what remained...they could make it. 

They could do it. 

Han flicks through a few more pages before he stops on one filled to the brim with jumbled bits of writing. "Is it safe?" Minho pauses his count. Turns towards Han and watches as he traches over someone else's writing, like it means something. The thought nearly sours his stomach. 

Han had him. Why would he need anyone else? 

"No," he says, watching as Han's shoulders hunch inward and his entire body seems to deflate. "I don't think it's ever going to be safe outside." The silence stretches long after his answer. It makes Minho uncomfortable in a way, that Han could ever sit in silence with him like this when there are so many other things they could be doing instead. 

Han's finger traces over the writing again. It's not Minho's writing. 

Minho's stomach turns and twists itself inside out. He stands when he can't take it anymore, crossing the short distance between them and taking a seat on the floor behind Han, tucking himself against the younger's back. His chin presses hard into the curve of his neck, and he wraps his arms around him, holding him close. 

He doesn't say anything else. He doesn't need to, when Han hesitantly slides his hand into his own a few moments later.

x

Minho feels pathetic today, standing at the kitchen counter and staring at the remains of an empty can. The remnants of sleep are crusted at the corners of his eyes, and exhaustion tugs at his body, weighing him down. His legs feel like lead, and his feet like cement blocks, meant to keep him below the surface, unable to catch a breath. 

There's blood on the counter. There's a knife beside it. 

He thinks it's his blood. 

He doesn't remember whose blood it really is, when a million eyes had turned and stared and asked him why. He doesn't remember taking the knife and running it across his wrist until his wrist had turned the color they had wanted it to be. He doesn't remember the smile they had given him as they had asked for more. 

Minho feels pathetic today, unable to finish the job they ask of him, unable to look Han in the eye and pretend that what they do is right when it all just feels wrong. Han was never supposed to be here, and Minho was never supposed to invite him in. Minho was never supposed to get lost - steal a glance at Han and never want to let him go, greedy in the way he grabs at his wrists, hungry in the way he presses close and doesn't turn away. 

Selfish. So selfish that he deserves being told to end his life so that another can start. 

Gentle fingers curl around his shoulder. Minho doesn't react. If they've come to take him, he won't fight. He's sick of them looking at him like this, sick of the torment, sick of all the images they paint for him on the backs of his eyelids.

"Hyung," Han whispers, gently tugging him back. "What'd you do?" 

Minho feels a shaky exhale rattle through his body, and doesn't know what to say. Does he say the truth, and let Han discover everything he's been trying to hide? Does he lift his arm and allow the blood to run freely onto the kitchen tile? Does he take the knife and slit his own throat before - 

"I thought we were eating dinner together." 

Han's cheek presses against his shirt. His careful fingers travel down and play with a loose string at the hem. The tone of his voice sounds...playful, not absolutely horrified, like Minho had thought it would've been. Something isn't right about this. He should say something, ask if the other is seeing what Minho's seeing, what Minho is, at the core of all of this, a twisted being with a disgustingly twisted mind. 

But then Minho blinks, and the world is brought back into sharpened focus. 

The counter isn't stained with blood, it's stained with what was supposed to be their dinner. Beets fresh from an old tin can, smeared against the counter, against the side of the sink, painting the side of the knife's blade. He dares to glance down at his arm, so sure it had been dripping blood, only to see more red. But it's the red of a vegetable, and not the inside of his arm. 

He hears laughter. Han's not laughing.  

Minho feels sick, and then he feels nothing at all.

x

He wants to say he doesn't remember how the fight started, but the truth is that he does, and there's glass shattering two inches from his head before he can stop it. He looks up and it's impossible to miss the glare Han shoots him, or the tears slipping down his cheeks. He's upset, and angry, and every other emotion close to it as he reaches for another picture frame. 

There's a part of Minho that tells him to stand there and not move, to stand there and let the glass puncture his body, his arms, his face, to let it stab him in however which way so that he can actually feel something that isn't the stare of a million eyes or the feeling of rotting hands pulling at his feet or Han's red cheeks and running nose. 

Han yells and tosses the frame, choking out another sob. Minho's body moves against his mind's wishes, allowing the picture frame to hit the hardwood floor behind him, glass fracturing into tiny pieces. 

Minho turns and looks back at the picture, half out of the frame and crumpled around the edges. It's one of him from what feels like another life; he was seven and had won his first sports contest, trophy clutched tightly between two tiny hands. His mother's finger is in the picture, taking up one corner of the frame. 

His father was gone by then, and it didn't take long for his mother to follow. 

"Don't you have anything to say?" Han screams, jolting Minho back to the present as he turns just in time for the other to launch himself forwards, fists pounding on his chest. Minho's back hits the wall with a thump as Han cries and hits him, over and over again. "Why aren't you saying anything?" 

Minho swallows, and avoids looking at the boarded windows, the duct-taped vents, the busted doorknobs. It's never enough, not when there's millions of eyes and only one of him. He can't keep them both safe anymore, not like this. Not when he's broken, and Han is ripping out the rest of his pieces. 

There's nothing left to say. 

Minho tries to grab his wrists, but Han jerks away from his touch, and one of his fists knocks into Minho's shoulder hard enough for it to sting. It stuns him, that the one person he's done everything to protect doesn't want his protection anymore. It echoes in his mind until it's the only thing he can hear, and he reaches a hand up to the side of his head, tugging at his hair. Han hates him. He hates him. Minho can't protect him anymore. It's all over. Everything's over. 

He should've known it would end this way. Nothing ever lasts, and he was foolish to think that this would. 

Han shouts again, and Minho blinks, tilting his head up. His heart aches. His head screams. Han cries into his hands until his tears spill onto the floor, one after another. Minho wants to reach out for him, hold him until he quiets, just like he used to when he first found him. He would cry for hours and hours, and all Minho could provide was the warm comfort of his own jagged body until Han had finally realized this was exactly where he belonged. 

He still belonged here, even if he didn't think so. 

"Han," he whispers, the letters bitter against his throat.

"That's not my name," Han says, sniffling, red-rimmed eyes locking with his. "Do you even remember?"

Minho's mouth opens, and then closes. They laugh at him from the shadows, cruel and callous, but Minho was cruel and callous, wasn't he? When he took Han in, and called him by a different name until it was all he could remember. Because his real name came from the outside, and they were no longer apart of the outside, not now, not after all of this. Minho never was, but Han used to be. 

He used to be.

"Let me out," Han says, already moving towards the door that sits on the other side of the room. 

Minho's heart jumps, beating hard against his ribcage as he stumbles over his own two feet. No. No, anything but that. He can't leave, he'll die if he leaves, his skin will burn, his breath will get caught his throat and Minho will be left all alone and he can't do this if he's alone, not anymore, not after being with someone else for so long -

"No!" Minho yells, throwing himself forwards, fingers slipping around Han's elbow just as he reaches for the knob. Han stills, still sniffling, chest heaving. Minho grips him tighter. Anything but this. Anything but losing the one thing he has left. "Please," he says, fighting against the sound of his own choked tone. "Please don't." He pauses, unsure of what to say. Would anything make him stay now that the truth has come out? "I can't lose you." 

Han huffs, the sound strangely twisted. "You already have," he mumbles, defeated, and before Minho can stop him, he's pulling out of his grip and reaching for the door. It's easy for him to unlock even though he's never touched the bolts before, something that itches at Minho's skin, because how would he know when he's down in the basement every time Minho tries to glimpse the outside? Unless...

The door is thrown open. Minho flinches, stumbling back.

Han opens the door, expecting ruin. What is revealed to him on the other side is anything but.

[meiloorunsmoothie]

how did you first get into Jeremy Jordan

good question—and one i very recently asked myself when the inevitable "how did i become this person" reflection happened 🫣.

i think there were many different factors (most of them not that good) that caused me to dive into obsessive mode so hard (and so quickly)—and it's definitely a "i see it now, but i couldn't back then" kind of situation. however, i'll spare you from those details XD.

the simple story is that, similar to you, i watched tangled the series and instantly fell in love with varian.

i love him

funnily enough, varian was the reason i started watching the show to begin with (coupled with the fact that i love tangled, and rapunzel, and eugene, and pascal, and max, and- 😆). i actually listened to the tts songs before watching the show 🫣 because my sister had gotten hooked on it years before. however, i only listened to the songs with mandy moore and zachary levi 🫣🫣 (cause i was like "who are these other random people, i want rapunzel and eugene"). then one day i listened to "through it all," in which varian has one line (plus an "eh" which i love now, but couldn't tell was him when i first listened XD)—and i was instantly just like: who's that.

have i listened to this one line on loop? you bet.

so i started watching the show—and loved varian from episode one—so naturally, i decide to look up the voice actor. it was jeremy....surprise. except...i didn't actually become obsessed right then. if anything, i was a little weirded out that this tiny boy was voiced by a 30-something year old man 😂 (but it's voice acting, so i was just like: wow, he did a great job 🤩...i'm going to go resume loving varian).

okay and then he sang. i knew he was good from his one line in "through it all", but wOW. adfasjkjaskfjd, on repeat forever and ever.

yes he was

that's not when i became (jeremy) obsessed either XD.

okay...and then a bunch of life stuff/circumstances kind of collided, and let's just say that i was feeling extremely lonely while also struggling with grief. i think there was about a two week period of this before i started actually bouncing back, and i had just reached the end of s1. now tts was doing a good job with bringing much needed happiness in my life, but...s2 had a very noticeable varian-shaped hole in it 😒.

that's when i turned to jeremy jordan youtube. it started off (the first hour) pretty mild—just some of his disney medleys, or the greatest showman video, or just the ones with millions of views—but it very quickly turned into a full out jeremy jordan youtube spiral™️ XD.

i must put this in your face again

i think in part, i latched on so quickly because jeremy and i are actually very similar people in general. i think at the point of extreme change that i was in at the time, it was just nice to "know" someone who was like me—and it definitely helped that there was easy access to extensive jj content. on a slightly different note, this is absolutely the reasoning behind the fact that if i had a chance to see jeremy live, i would choose one of his concerts over, say, gatsby—i am obsessed with jeremy jordan as jeremy jordan XD (hello akp).

literally me (i grew up in california by the way XD)

anyways, fast forward ~3 months, and i joined tumblr 😆...and we all know what happened after that. honestly, not a bad decision in my mind (at least so far), despite being very anti-social media my whole life. i've gotten to chat and obsessively geek out with so many great people, and i'm just so grateful for that 💕.

i've still only watched s1 of supergirl...and many youtube clips

[annaofaza]

Reading TriMax again and this scene remains my favorite. (Here’s where to read the full manga)

Wolfwood’s in bad shape, he can taste blood in his mouth and his nostrils, and no one’s going to back him up because he’s an idiot and didn’t fucking tell anyone. As he’s being thrown around left and right, his old mentor’s being an asshole and taunting him about how “weakened” he now is and about how Vash is usually with Wolfwood and isn’t this time (Chapel’s doing the full-on Bond villain monologue at him)...

And Wolfwood basically says FUCK YOU.

Even if Vash doesn’t come to save him specifically, Vash will save someone else.

How? Wolfwood doesn’t know. Hell, he doesn’t even know if the world can be saved. But Wolfwood believes in Vash to, at the very least, put a dent in Knives’ plan, and make a positive difference in the fight because if anyone can do it, it’ll be Vash, and you should start running now.

He bares his teeth at the world he’s going to leave and the world he knows he’s not going to see, at the man who’s shaped him to kill alone without hesitation or mercy, at the hope he’s supposed to have lost, and says:

“He has never forsaken anything.”

Literal. Fucking. Chills.

[mckinlily]

Um, okay this is a loaded question, and if you want to play it safe, you can answer me in DMs, but...I personally feel that there's something wrong about how VLD placed Keith in the lead. In a way, I can see him becoming Black Paladin, but Shiro...it feels more natural to me, it feels right that Shiro is Black Paladin. I'm not into VLD beyond Shiro, Keith's parents, and the Lions personally, but I know someone who loves it and makes good points about Keith as a leader, but something just isn't aligning for me. Maybe it's because Shiro and Keith are two radically different archetypes, and they got swapped when they shouldn't have, I don't know.

I came here because I saw one of your post S2 rewrites, and I appreciated it. So, again, feel free to answer me in DMs (if you have problems DM-ing me, let me know and I'll fix it for you) if you don't mind discussing this with me.

As a final note, I'm not trying to hate any particular character. They're all fine on their own, and I don't want to treat one as worse than the other. I just want to figure out this problem I'm having with Shiro and Keith.

Thank you for reading this, and take care.

You came to the right blog! Because I adore Keith and believe he certainly has qualities that could make him a good leader—and absolutely hate him as the Black Paladin.

The thing I never understood about Voltron fandom debates about who should be the Black Paladin is that they always seem based in the idea that because Shiro is a leader and the Black Paladin, that means the Black Paladin is the ONLY leader on the team.

It is worth noting that that premise was disproven in episode one. It was Allura who made the final call on whether the paladins should run or stay and fight Sendak, and Shiro explicitly bowed to her authority. From then on, Shiro and Allura both lead Team Voltron until the show decided to destroy their characters, accepting influence and trading responsibilities depending on which one of them fit the situation at hand. Typically, Allura functions more in a commander and diplomat role and Shiro is more of a field officer, but they both pick up the lead where needed.

I know you didn't bring up Allura, but I think it is vital she is included in any conversation about leadership in Voltron. She is introduced as THE princess of an entire planet, she has more knowledge and experience of the intergalactic landscape than any of the other characters, she's been set up to be a leader since birth, and she IS the leader of Team Voltron for two whole seasons. Shiro makes it VERY clear he considers her to outrank him.

So the question you have to ask any time you consider replacing Shiro as Black Paladin: why NOT Allura? If the Black Paladin is the "best leader", why are you skipping over the one character already established and thriving in a leadership role? (And then you have to ask yourself if that character being a Black woman has anything do with that.)

Now I do think there are ways narratively you could answer that question. For instance, if you keep the Lions as sentient beings, that means they can make choices—including wrong ones. For instance, for a time when I believed anything might be salvaged after season 3, my head canon for Black choosing Keith was that Keith was the one missing Shiro as intensely and desperately as Black in that moment. Therefore, the choice was not about Keith being "better" but rather them being at the same place emotionally and that allowing the bond. The major problem with the Lion swap in canon is that we're given NO reason for Keith to be Black Paladin besides "plot device said so". Especially when we have Allura right there. It's just bad writing.

(By the way, you don't have to be pro-Black Paladin Allura. There's nuance to be had, and I personally am actually more One True Black Paladin!Shiro. But you can't just dismiss her--a capable and proven leader--from the conversation. Erasing her character is not the answer.)

ANYWAY. Back to Keith. Or rather, leadership on Team Voltron. Thing is, there are many different WAYS to be a leader. We already touched on the differences between Allura and Shiro. Keith does a good job of making split second decisions in battle or calling shots if Shiro is incapacitated or somehow separated. If you're in the middle of a fight, the plan has gone to shit, and the team just got separated, Keith is great at telling people what to do and mobilizing because something needs to get done NOW.

But that's not the only way to lead. Keith, for instance, is terrible at pep talks. He misses a lot of the nuances going on between him and his teammates off the battlefield. He doesn't plan ahead, like, ever. Sure he's great at making up stuff on the fly, but sometimes you need a plan.

But it's not just Keith. For instance, when Shiro, Lance, and Pidge go on the mission to rescue Slav, it's Pidge who calls all the shots. Is that not leadership? Pidge is often the one telling people what they need to do to solve technical problems. She's a center for information, typically the one collecting it, organizing and interrupting it, and then instruction others based on her conclusions. We see her take point on a mission, give orders to her teammates, coordinate efforts, problem solve in real time and relay a new plan in order to navigate unexpected challenges. Why not argue PIDGE should be the leader?

And there's when they freed the Balmera and Hunk took the lead. That mission was more challenging, but I'd argue in that arc, Hunk's leadership mattered less in terms of orders and more in terms of determining what type of team they'd be. Hunk was ADAMANT they free the Balmerans and set a tone for the team where they didn't leave suffering people behind. Hunk set up a moral imperative for the team that they'd be lesser without.

And Lance! There's actually lots to say about Lance and his strengths and types of leadership. But it's easy to point out that Lance is the one initiating fun and team bonding outside of battle. And when you're operating a giant robot held together by emotion connection, that's pretty dang important!

Point is, they're ALL leaders. They all have the capability to take point when needed. We SEE them all take charge at different points of the show.

So what's the Black Paladin then? If Shiro's The Leader then what does that mean? And this is the cool part! Because you know what Shiro is really really good? Know who else to put in charge. He's the one who first acknowledges Allura as an authority because he sees she has knowledge and experience he and the others do not. He selects which paladins to go together on which missions based on their strengths and the situations. He steps back and lets Pidge or Lance or Hunk call the shots if they're in an area of their expertise. Shiro's job isn't to tell people what to do. It's to decide who to put in charge of what and place them in best position for success.

There's another aspect of Shiro's leadership that is supporting his teammates, offering comfort, teaching, and giving the kids something solid they can believe in so they don't have to care the full weight of the war. But like letting others take charge where they shine, Shiro's leadership is all about enabling those he leads. One of my favorite Shiro lines is "It's too dangerous—I'm coming with you." Shiro's goal is never control. He is support. He leads the paladins because he sees the best in them and helps them reach it.

Narratively, also, Shiro is just set up to be the Black Paladin. The parallels between himself and the Black Lion are too obvious. From both being controlled and abused by Zarkon to Shiro's missing arm and Black's mission bayard. It's a kid's show. The symbolism isn't all that subtle. And if that weren't enough, we literally get an entire episode A plot in Space Mall about it where Shiro literally fist fights Zarkon for the Black Lion and in the end, he wins because he makes it clear it's the Black Lion's choice and trust.

Remember when I said the problem with Keith in the Black Lion in canon is that we're never given an explanation beyond "because I said so"? We're shown repeatedly why the Black Lion chooses Shiro. Even before we meet most the Lions, the other paladins themselves choose Shiro as their leader when Lance asks him if they should go through the wormhole. We repeatedly see Shiro seek to understand the Black Lion better, and Black responding. We see the similarities between their situations and backstories. We see them bond.

And I think this is really important because when Shiro is in the Black Lion, it's not about him being "in charge." It's about his relationship with the Black Lion. Yeah, of course, the other paladins are leaders! And they should be! But none of them have Shiro's relationship with the Black Lion. In this narrative, the Black Lion isn't a prize to be won but a relationship to nurture, and Shiro has put in the work for that relationship.

Which is really important because it means the Lions aren't a hierarchy. The Black Paladin is one role, an important role in Voltron, but no more important than any of the others. "The Leader" is not the most important person in the room. Instead, Shiro is a facilitator who enables all the others to perform their roles better.

Also can I just remind everyone just how well the Red Lion fits Keith? The paladin who keeps throwing himself out airlocks get the Lion most likely to go AWOL and fly off to save him. Keith defends his friends and team by attacking first and asking questions later, and Red started destroying a planetary body to get to Keith. The kid with abandonment issues gets the Lion who doesn't hesitate a second to go after him. And even the way they're shown to bond—that it's so physical and based in action rather than words—it's so Keith. I freaking love Keith as the Red Paladin. He gets to be as chaotic and free as he was always meant to be and gets a Lion who meets him every step of the way.

But if you say, no, Keith should be the Black Paladin. Well. What about Red wasn't working? Why was that role not one Keith fit in? Because from my reading of canon, Keith was thriving in Red. He got a secure attachment to his favorite person in the world, he gets the freedom to fly while also being part of something bigger, and he's making friends. It's still in its beginning stages, but he's figuring out how to bond with Lance, Hunk, and Pidge and you get the sense these are a kind of friendships he's never experienced before. But you know what could kill that really fast? Making him The Leader, a position that inherently sets him apart from the rest.

This is actually a problem twice over for Keith because unlike Shiro, who is shown to be given his role voluntarily by everyone around him and repeatedly shows he's earned that trust and respect, Keith is basically thrown into the Plot Device Machine and gets a t-shirt that says YOU'RE THE LEADER NOW. And we never get a reason beyond that.

This is actually my biggest problem season 3 and the Lion Swap. Because as soon as they made that choice, the Lions became a hierarchy. But what other explanation do we have? Keith won Favorite Character status got "prompted" to Black Paladin. But as soon as Black Paladin is a promotion, that makes the other paladin roles inferior. Red becomes the "second in command". So Lance get prompted but can never be equal to Keith. Allura gets the "Training Wheels" Lion/Blue, and they didn't have to write that as a massive demotion, but they sure did anyway. Hunk and Pidge are no longer leaders because they aren't in the "Leader" Lions.

It makes me so mad. One of the things I loved first about Voltron was the message of equality and servant leadership. The idea that a leader (represented by Shiro) is someone who elevates and enables everyone else. A recognition for the more "feminine" types of leadership—nurturing, compassion, emotional support. Which support roles are seen as vital and just as if not more important than being the "boss."

But we only got two seasons of that before they pulled the rug out and said, "Nope. We're returning back to patriarchy." Suddenly the Lions were in a strict chain of command, one character was the boss and the rest were his subordinates. There was a top position and a bottom position, and the characters were all fighting over each other. Perhaps most damningly, the Lion lost all personality and agency and become trophies to symbolize a character's power. And I'm not saying they're an accidental representation of how women are treated in Western media but I MEAN. It's right there.

My response when anyone says "[X] character should be the Black Paladin!" is—Why? Is their connection with the Black Lion deeper than Shiro's? Do they have more in common with Black than Shiro does? What could they achieve or obtain as the Black Paladin that they couldn't where they currently are?

And, though I don't think most of us realize it, the answer to that last one is power. Because we're soaked in patriarchy and a certain portrayal of "leadership (derogatory)" that many fans automatically assumed the Black Paladin HAD to be in control of and have power over the other paladins. So of course you want your favorite character to be the Black Paladin! You don't want your self-insert to be inferior!

But that's all the patriarchy talking. The other paladins are NOT inferior. There is NOT a hierarchy of types of people. Keith doesn't have to have Shiro's role because he's already equal as Keith.

Keiths look different from Shiros, but they're all equal and valuable as they are. Same goes for Lances, Hunks, Pidges, and Alluras. The whole point is they're stronger together. Their differences make them BETTER.

So yeah. Of course, Keith has some good leadership qualities. There's plenty of situations where it only makes sense for him to take the lead. But why on earth does he need to be the Black Paladin to do that? He's already Keith!

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

cracks my fingers

for the asura ask game: 1, 3, 24 for non-evil Ruju

and 1, 8, 27 for Sylffa!

Just an asura ask game

Thanks so much for the ask!! Time to crack my OWN fingers because that's a whole lotta questions-- I offer you Rat Lore, Deluxe Edition(tm) below the cut for everyone's convenience.

1. Do they fit well into asuran society or are they more at home with other races? How do they feel about fellow asura? Is it because of their personality or something else? Is there any deal maker or breaker?

It's probably no surprise that Ruju's opinion of asuran society isn't particularly great. Between growing up among Inquest and struggling with a learning disability that made school much harder for him than his peers, the guy just never felt like he fit in anywhere. The highly individualistic dog-eat-dog culture really did NOT do him any favors. Even in his Dynamics timeline he still felt like an outlier, preferring hands-on work and often requiring detailed written instructions that he could refer to when his memory blanked.

It really wasn't until Ruju left it all behind to join the Vigil that he ever felt like he really belonged somewhere. He still keeps in contact with his old krewe as friends, but they all know he's never rejoining.

Likewise, his initial feelings about other asura are generally cautious at best. And at worst? He's been known to get pretty hostile even right at the start if someone puts him even a LITTLE on edge. Ruju's much more likely to give a fair chance to others who are like him, leaving it all behind to find somewhere they feel more at home. While he can learn to live with asura that are proud of their own personal accomplishments, those that cross the line into mocking other races and customs raise his hackles IMMEDIATELY. The guy has no patience whatsoever for the ideologies that allow the Inquest and others like them to flourish right there in Rata Sum. He also tends to assume the worst of anyone with past Inquest ties, even if they've long-since left the organization behind.

But really, any asura stubborn-- and perceptive-- enough to get past Ruju's prickly exterior will eventually find an extraordinarily loyal friend. He's tough to win over, but even tougher to shake.

So I know what you're (maybe) thinking; 'are there any races Ruju gets along with better, then?' Well, that's complicated. He didn't have a whole lot of contact with other races until he left Rata Sum, so most of his knowledge base was from asuran stereotypes of their cultures-- which, well, led to more than a few awkward and insensitive encounters. It took him a while to feel them out on their own terms and figure out what was true and what wasn't.

Unfortunately, this guy's mouth moves a fair bit faster than his brain most of the time. That probably says it all right there.

The only race he never warms up to is, ironically, the charr. He finds their heavily militaristic society and loyalty to the chain of command too stifling for the most part, despite initially relating to their ferocious fighting spirit. It's really only the outliers like Rox and the Olmakhan that he winds up liking by the end. By contrast, he comes to really appreciate both norn and sylvari-- and he'd probably like skritt a lot too if he was a bit more open-minded about them. But alas, Ruju is pretty sure that having more than one chaotic rat in a room together would lead to horrible no-good things, and he MORE than fills that quota.

3. What's their family like?

That one was answered over here!

24. Do they have any particular opinion on the Peacemakers and the Arcane Council (and Eye)? Do they have any direct experience with them?

HOO boy this is another meaty one. Ruju didn't really have experience with any of them until he moved out to Rata Sum, but none of his interactions were particularly positive. When he was young and naive he wanted to believe they were better than the Inquest... And then he realized that the moment there was any real danger-- or ESPECIALLY a direct conflict with the Inquest-- the Peacemakers were always conspicuously absent. As soon as he noticed that, all semblance of respect was out the window.

Ironically this menace actually WANTED them to do their jobs, at least in the situations where it actually mattered. (Like, say, when Teyo is wreaking havoc with hacked security golems.)

As a result, the Peacemakers got the brunt of his rebellion; Ruju found out pretty quickly that they didn't dare to rough him up because of his parents' notoriety, and he absolutely took advantage of that to be a pain. On top of that, magitech cuffs would almost always fall off from his air element shorting out their circuitry, creating a whole fiasco as they assumed he was slipping them on purpose. Sometimes this led into wild 'races' across the city when he'd get sick of squabbling with them, just casting superspeed and swiftness on himself and bolting... Straight to the cells. All that fuss JUST to turn himself in without being cuffed. Once they realized Ruju was messing with them and not actually trying to escape, they just stopped chasing and let him at it-- and put that note specifically on his file to try and warn any new recruits not to engage.

Not that every rookie necessarily READ that file, though...

Regardless, Ruju still spent enough time in a Peacemaker cell during his younger years that they practically had one reserved for him. But despite the many arrests, he never really considered them more than a nuisance-- and a method of getting back at his parents by being a total embarrassment in public and getting them to pay his bail.

The Arcane Eye on the other hand... Over time, Ruju's opinion shifted from vague annoyance, to disrespect, to outright disgust. In his Dynamics timeline, well. Let's put it like this. He had the option to either reveal the truth of Gorr's research on the Elder Dragons to everyone via transmission, or go violently beat an entire squad of Arcane Eye officers to death in their own hideaway. Guess which option won out. (How has this guy NOT gotten banished.)

Likewise, he can't stand the Council either, but just generally tries to avoid them and stay out of their jurisdiction. And after what he did to their finest spies, that avoidance is DEFINITELY mutual. He's threatened multiple seated members at this point and they don't particularly care to test whether he'll make good on that.

Ironically, Phlunt is one of the few he can actually tolerate. Meanwhile, lock him in a room with Flax or Haia for more than a few minutes and the Council might have a very freshly vacant seat to fill.

Now for Sylffa's questions!

1. Do they fit well into asuran society or are they more at home with other races?

8. Do/did they have a krewe?

You can find both of these ones too over here!

27. Have they been impacted by that whole Pact thing? What do they think of the First Pact Commander, Aurene and the whole Elder Dragon mess?

Sylffa was a member of the Priory when the Pact first started taking form, but limiting her knowledge and exploration to a single faction always bothered her to an extent. So, saying that she was curious about the prospect of expanding her horizons would be a MASSIVE understatement. As soon as those doors opened, she was practically on the first flight over. If something THAT big was in the works she absolutely wanted to be a part of it! Getting to work on the Pact airships was one of her proudest moments, immediately followed by getting to see the fleet she helped design soar into action.

While Sylffa might not have seen a lot of the action herself, she also made a point of assisting many of the outer camps with repairs-- along with working on defensive measures to keep dragon minions at bay. She was NOTORIOUS for seeing just how many laser cannons she could cram onto the walls before they'd have structural issues. Some would argue that she wasn't taking the situation NEARLY seriously enough, but the rest would respond that even if she was maybe a bit too excited about getting to see her heavy artillery designs at work, you couldn't really discount the results. In reality, burying herself in her work was just the easiest way to compartmentalize; focusing on getting results and then putting them into action made all the stress worthwhile.

The fall of Zhaitan wasn't the end for her, either. She stuck with the Pact all the way through to the end, occasionally sending inventions to Ruju to test out in the field. A few-- like a prototype position rewinder-- have stayed in his inventory to this day.

As for the Pact Commander and Aurene: that definitely depends on who it is! In any world where Ruju reaches that station, she definitely has a positive outlook on the two! They might not be as close as they were during college, but still very much qualify as friends. He shared quite a bit with her about his 'honorary progeny' during Aurene's younger years so she knows the dragon isn't quite as scary as she might seem. They've only ever met briefly though, with Aurene having assisted her group during a Branded outbreak on Dragonfall. Sylffa made a point of saluting her before she flew away.

In any other version of events, though, Sylffa would've been unlikely to know much of the Commander and Aurene-- aside from their role, that is. She would've considered an honor to meet them, though! And even MORE of an honor if they used any of her gadgets in the field.

If you were to ask her if she had any regrets now that the cycle is over, she'd claim she wishes she could've given Primordus a good whack herself for her ancestors' sake-- but really she's just glad it's over. In the wake of the dragons, Sylffa hopes she can put her focus into inventions that help people via means OTHER than blasting dragon minions to bits. She's made enough laser cannons, it's about time to try something new for a change! How she'll apply her expertise in the future remains to be seen, though.

[grapecaseschoices]

@agentnatesewell

My first thought was 'NO!' but that is just Kendis being petty. I think it depends. Kendis is inclined to be more open / bend more with people they've got a soft spot with [even if she wants to deny said spot -- though she's more likely to dig in heels in the latter situation if she catches herself/when she's not impulsively reacting to their needs].

And actually, I'm remembering moments in game where I pictured Nate throwing his wet cow eyes at Kendis to get his way. For example, when they found that sick body in .... book two is it? Nate's immediately like, let's TOUCH THIS PERSON AND HELP. And Kendis wants to help, but Kendis' instinct is to protect THEMSELVES and what they care about. So quarantine. And Nate did his wet eyes -- and she's like arhrrrg you're .... not wrong/fine/i can consider your point.

The thing is that A[dam, in this case] is more willing to bend to Nate. He might deny it, but over the years he's hardwired [not to say there hasn't been moments where N has had to suck it up and sulk ... as F's pointed out, lol]. Kendis is in the denial stage of their affair -- heck, they're in the Does Not See It stage, just a bit still lmao. SO Nate needs to play it wise bc Kendis is as stubborn as Adam and ten times as petty.

so tl;dr mostly yes ... but he needs to be smart about it [and I think like Adam it really depends on the situation - ie if they're feeling particularly stubborn or if they even CAN give leeway. Though unlike Adam Kendis is more willing to let things burn to give loved ones what they want .... not their pride though.]

[shippingmyworld]

No hate, just genuinely curious why you don't like the doomed by the narrative trope. It's soooo juciy and there's just so much potential overall, especially when they know it's coming.

I don't mind talking about it more off anon since it's cathartic and helps me process, but the short version is basically that I went through some shit and my mental health was in the pits when I was 18-22 years old. It left some lasting effects that I still struggle with to this day, but one of the ways I coped is by consuming literature. It was my escape into a happier place. That's why when I write, I want to be able to see my characters also reach that happy place in the end, no matter what they've struggled through.

It's not that I don't like doomed by the narrative. Hell, I love thriller and horror stuff, it's just that I can't subject myself to stuff like that very often. Like yeah, there's potential for something powerful in it, but at the end of the day doomed by the narrative usually means a bad ending for the character(s) - or at the very best a bittersweet ending. If something is tagged properly and I can take the time to mentally prepare myself, I'll be able to dive in eventually. The reason I can enjoy horror/thriller at all is because I jump in with the mindset that none of the characters will survive to the last page/scene (lol). So if I'm sucker punched by something out of left field it can cause me to unintentionally spiral, which is why I also tend to avoid that trope if it's applied to a ship. I can't tell you how many stories/movies/shows I've dropped mid-way through because a character was killed off with zero foreshadowing, done simply for the shock value of it.

[lususnatura]

🎤 🎤 🎤

a song that i associate with my muse meme!

AHH, hey, ramone!! thank you for sending in this prompt :D since you sent in three of the mic's, i shall now be treating you to three songs that make me think of blamore when i hear them / that i associate with it. an explanation of why i chose them will be in the tags <3

hozier - who we are.

icehouse - crazy.

depeche mode - personal jesus.

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

WAIT.

DID I NOT SEND YOU THE DRAWING I MADE-?

i know you sent this like days ago but nope! i didn't see any pretty gals waiting in my askbox sadly 😔</3