#you might have to play him in Mario kart tho

[bluesugarcane]

Cane is looking in at all of the noisy arguing… and he is ducking back out. You don’t fix a firestorm by tossing in matches. The best thing to do is let Rin and Marsha figure out to play on opposite sides of the playground in the future.

Cane would say hitting someone for saying something you don’t like isn’t right, but. He’s done it before to Yo Han. He threw a rock before, so he can’t throw blame now. Being a person is complicated and sometimes people do things without thinking when they’re feeling big emotions. Apologies are needed on all ends of a hurtful four way stop. And neither Rin nor Marsha really apologize without someone telling them to. Which isn’t how apologies are supposed to be done.

Yo Han’s room is the quietest place to wait out the storm and play some Mario. Cane is going there to lie in the pile of stuffed animals.

[coral-melon]

Introducing your Boyfriend to your Parents!

Genre: Fluff, Crack

Warnings: None hopefully 🤞

Obey me brothers x Reader

No pronouns used

Note: I’m assuming this has been done before but I’ve never got to read one! ;—;

Lucifer

Tf u talkin bout boyfriend?? That’s not boyfriend material, that’s a husband right there.

Probably the one you can trust the most. Probably..

Doesn’t matter what kind of parents you have, this man is literally flawless. In their minds, you’re literally set for life! And with how loving he seems to be with you??? There’s no way they’ll be able to refuse a man like that. Will urge you to seal the deal and marry him already.

He’s so perfect, that your parents might eye you. How’d you meet a man like this?? Seems too good to be true, don’t you think? Did you okay him or somethin? Nah, u don’t got that kind of money to afford a man like that..

Luci’s very persuasive though, there will be absolutely no room for them to doubt. He’s just through like that.

Everything will be fine and dandy as long as your parents don’t say something that he deems as even disrespectful or offensive to you and/or him. Depends on the severity of their words, he’ll mostly resort to passively aggressive comments with a smug look on his face.

He’ll have this need to put them in their place ._ .

If nothing happens, your good! 100% approval!

Mammon

Eesh.. keep a real close eye on this man. "( – ⌓ – )

You’re better off having them meet somewhere that isn’t your house if you don’t want something to go missing. Nah just kidding, he’ll try to be on his best behavior!

Other than that, he’ll be as respectable as possible. Say a couple of awkward stuff here and there out of nervousness or come off as a bit cocky failing miserably. And probably the type to keep talking because of it. He might be rowdy every now and then but it just makes him more endearing.

Him and your dad might have a bit of a playful moment gambling together. Both you and your mom have to make sure it doesn’t get too far.

Definitely very fun to be around. He’s a dork! ^^⸝⸝⸝

Leviathan

That crap is for normies!

If you have strict parents, it’s never happening.. and if not? It took you forever to get to this point.💀

He’s a nervous wreck! Sweating bullets and barely being able to make a coherent conversation. Your parents might ask you if he’s alright..

Imma assume you most likely you have the same interests as him. You’re parents know that he has the same interest as you, they’ll ask him about to to get him to ease up a bit. And damn, he makes a whole 360!

He starts tapping so excitedly for a few long minutes before shutting up out of shear cringe and embarrassment. But if someone else is as much of a geek as he is, there’s nothing stopping him.

A few debates here and there, later on you guys could play some Mario kart or Mario party. Your mom wins.

Satan

For the love of god, Don’t say his name. Call him Stanley or somethin’💀

Another one you can probably trust one.

He’s complete gentleman towards you and your parents and minds his manners. Literally the very definition of what mothers want their child. Such a nice and smart boy to have around!

But same thing with Lucifer, hopefully your parent won’t say anything that irks him the wrong way. He’ll hold his patience for as long as possible but the slightest slander against you will make him lose it.

And if not, then he’s literally the perfect boyfriend you can bring to meet your parents

Imagine tho? Calling him by his actual name. That’s crazy.

100% approval, if he doesn’t get ticked off

Asmodeous

Good vibes only up in this joint! >;D

Don’t be fooled, this guy has a whole scheme up in his sleeves. He’s real good at this. Even the most notorious of serious and strick parents will be swoon by him even without using his abilities. He could probably make them pour their heart out in karaoke if he really wanted to. There’s nothing stopping him💕

Both your parents are gonna he giggling and blushing like on some high school girl type shit.

They may or may not be a couple slips of the tongue with some inappropriate jokes or comments he might tease about. Hopefully your parents aren’t too appalled by it. But there’s genuinely no dull moment with him around, he’s the life of the party!

Beelzebub

The sweetest man ever!! (⸝⸝⸝>﹏<⸝⸝⸝) surprise surprise..

Definitely takes everyone by surprise. He’s taller than everyone in your household. Your dad can’t help feel his manhood be a bit threatened by him.. Everyone might be scared at first, but that quickly changes when they realize that he really is as much of a sweetheart as you’ve said.

He’s all about family so meeting your family means the world to him. He’s a bit quiet but he respectfully talks to your parents when they ask him something. (Speaks when spoken to.)

Whoever cooked the meal will not be disappointed by him, not when he has such a blissful expression with every bite he’s taking. So eager too, not wasting anything and asking for more. There won’t definitely be any leftover with him around. He’s a growing boy!~

I’d be funny if someone in the family challenged him to arm wrest. He wouldn’t move an inch, just ever so slowly and gently pin their arm down. If your grandma’s around, she’d have no shame in gawking and touching his arms.😂 could be ur mom too

Belphegor

‘Scuse me? Him? Σ(⁰ . ⁰ ꪱꪱꪱ)!?!?...

No offense to any of y’all. But this is probably the worst and stupidest choice you’ve ever made.💀🫶

You must’ve and better be on his ass if you really want him to meet your parents. He’d probably forget that he was gonna supposed to be meeting your parents.

Very likely to accidentally bonk his head against the table while in a conversation. Is he okay?? He’ll lift his head up and keep talking to them as if nothing happened.

Honestly, I don’t see how it could work..

20% chance of approval💀

((If y’all got an idea of how that would go, lemme know! I’d like to know what’s your headcanon of the situation!))

End

It’s been so long since I’ve last written cuz of college! So I hope this didn’t suck. Omg never again am I taking summer classes, stupidest shit I’ve ever done ｡ﾟ(*´□`)ﾟ｡

[7ndipity]

Long Distance Relationship Headcanons

Jungkook x Reader

Summary: How Jungkook would handle a long distance relationship with his S/o

Warnings: none

A/N: We’ve reached the final member in the ldr series! Thanks to @gottafightwhentheysaybehave for requesting this, I hope you like it!

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

I could see him doing surprisingly well in a long distance relationship. He’s someone that once he finds ‘the one’, he wouldn’t let something like distance deter him. So long as he knows that it’s temporary, he’s more than willing to make it work.

Texts you random thoughts and questions throughout the day(which constantly shocks everyone around him bc he’s such a famously bad texter, like how did you get him to answer you back?!)

Video calls where you don’t really talk that much and just keep each other company while you do whatever(he has fallen asleep on multiple occasions while you were working or studying)

Gaming dates where you’re just laughing and yelling at each other through the phone or discord as you playing mario kart or whatever

Care packages with the most random things, from funny socks to bluetooth speakers to favorite snacks. It’s literally a collection of whatever he thought you would find cool while scrolling amazon/instagram at 2am.

Matching couples keychains that y’all send pics of back and forth to show what you’re doing that day.

Gets you those special touch lights where when you touch one lamp, the other lights up. He tends to set yours off in the middle of the night because he forgets about the time difference between you.

Diligently plans monthly or bi-monthly trips to visit you, bc he swears if he goes any longer without seeing you in person he might die

Drunk calls at 3am where he tells you how much he loves and misses you and wishes you were there with him.

Definitely has days when he gets really down about the distance between you, worrying about if you’re doing okay, if you ever have second thoughts about your situation.

These tend to lead to rather long heart to heart conversations where you talk over everything again to make sure you’re both on the same page. Which you always are, but sometimes you and him just need that reassurance.

He almost misses it when you finally tell him that you’re moving to Seoul, because he's imagined you saying it so many times that he almost mistakes it for another of his daydreams.

Once he realizes it’s real tho, he hugs you so hard you’d swear he was trying to fuse the two of you together.

@sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @classicalelephant @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @comingupwithacoolnameishard @universal-travel-er @bo0ghol @seleneacyoflove

[p1nk-matter]

shiggy fluff cause he deserves all the love // inspired by @aslutforfictionalmen's post (here's my interpretation, i also spontaneously wrote this @/3am so his quirk may have been erased not his trauma tho)

‘’There is no reason to be wearing that.’’ You laugh as you look at him.

Tenko in a suit has to be the funniest thing you’ve ever seen. ‘’It's just a drive-in movie theater.’’ You tease and he scoffs.

‘’Yeah well I can’t win, can I? Tracksuits are too casual, I remind you of a busker, remember? And what’s wrong with that by the way, you wish you had their talent–’’

‘’Enough, we’re running late.’’ You cut him off but can’t hide your smile when he’s all annoyed lecturing you in a fucking suit.

The movie chosen was cliché, borderline comical especially when you’re accompanied by a tall man with questionable appearance. How you even convinced him to join you is beyond comprehension, most likely because you promised him to play Nintendo Switch, his latest obsession. You’d play with him regardless, a man with a childhood lost, robbed from things you experienced firsthand at a younger age but Tenko couldn’t really see it. You on the other hand recognized it, and through small acts (annoying as such because for some inexplicable reason he always lost to you) you showed him everything he’d missed.

‘’I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year!’’

Ryan Gosling says as you feel a hand squeeze yours tightly, shoulders touching as the night sky glows above the projector. You turn to look at him confused, The Notebook was one of those films you’d seen a million times, failing to evoke powerful emotions after some time but it was still a very satisfying rewatch. Tenko turns his head.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ You say, anxious he might be having another panic attack. You knew how to calm him down but never the extent of it and that scared you.

‘’It’s nothing’’ He whispers, his voice is composed, you note, good.

‘’Yes... it wasn't over, it still isn't over..’’ Gosling continues.

‘’Can you believe he wrote to her all this time? This is so fucking cruel!’’ he almost shouts, as a couple of heads turn to look at him annoyed.

‘’Oh my god, are you crying over the movie right now?’’ You want to burst out laughing but the stares warn you otherwise, both your tones too loud. You can’t believe what a sucker for romance he is, he always acts all tough but ends up being hungry for love anywhere he can find it. You kind of get it, it also kind of breaks your heart.

‘’I’m so posting this.’’ You tease as he wipes his eyes clean with a tissue he had in his pocket.

‘’I swear to god if you don’t shut the fuck up.’’ His voice is shaky but his eyes are glued to the scene, anxious for what’s coming next. Will they make up? Maybe even make out, have sex? Poor him, he’s unprepared for the bittersweet end.

-

The drive back home is silent, you take it he’s still thinking about the film, contemplating its ending, unsure whether he likes it or not.

‘’Sooo.. did you like it?’’

‘’It was okay.’’ He feigns indifference and you don’t continue. You allow him to ponder before speaking up, he almost always adds something on his own.

‘’I just think it’s funny she married the other guy, you know.’’ He says.

‘’What was she supposed to do? She didn’t know about the letters, remember?’’

‘’Still, if she really loved him, she should’ve waited, should’ve been alone, grieved on her own. How could she do this?’’ He asks as you sigh.

‘’It’s just a film and people make mistakes. You never know until you tell them.’’

This time he doesn’t continue.

-

‘’So what do you want to do?’’ You ask once you’ve arrived home, it’s already past midnight but both of you are too lively for sleep.

‘’You promised Nintendo.’’ He reminds you and you sigh. Not your favorite part of the day but you silently take a seat next to him on the couch.

3 rounds of Mario Kart racing on the Nintendo Switch and Tenko is losing consecutively as he whines frustrated: ‘’Enough!’’

‘’I just don’t understand why you’re always losing.’’ You tell him, as far as you know he was unlocking the game levels with ease on his own.

‘’I don’t know, shit, you ask way too many questions today’’ he complains, ‘’I’ll go change, this suit is itching the fuck out of me’’ he continues as you get up.

He finds you scrolling on your phone, a towel wrapped around him, droplets falling from his hair, which he must’ve aggressively ruffled (in failed efforts to dry) as he literally drops his body onto yours, scaring you and making you drop your phone.

‘’Tenko, fuck agh!’’ You groan, ‘’my phone!’’

He was so annoying and on top of that soaking your shirt too.

‘’I’m sorry.’’ He smiles, he wasn’t really sorry, he missed you, he thought. Even though you were together the whole day, he still missed you. So much. He couldn’t get enough of you, any moment shared only made him more anxious for your next departure, he wished he could somehow glue you to his skin forever.

You playfully slapped his arm and he retaliated, pinching your nose as you pouted.

‘’Don’t pout.’’ He warns, ‘’I'll bite you.’’ But you don’t listen. He brings his mouth to yours as his teeth sink in your lower lip, pulling at it and letting it out softly.

‘’Ouch, you douche!’’ You fake pain but he knows he didn’t actually hurt you, he could never.

There was a moment where neither of you did anything, must’ve been less than a minute, before he leaned closer, mouths in close proximity as he noticed your eyes shut.

I want to kiss her, he thought and he did. Soft lips brought to yours, as you immediately kissed him back, cupping his wet neck and bringing his face even closer, deepening the kiss. His arms quivered, threatening to make him lose his balance and fall on top of you, he lost himself every time you kissed him.

His hand slid down your waist, positioning you higher on the couch as your hungry mouth searched for his again, needy breaths escaped your lips, a sight that made him feel the all too familiar pain in his groin, a towel was still draped around him and you were still in your outside clothes.

A peak across the room showed him the window curtains open.

‘’Give me a minute, baby.’’ He said as he got up to close them, returning to you with his arms stretched out, ready to move this somewhere more comfortable.

–

He was awakened by an asleep arm, your weight had fallen on it and he felt numb.

He gently tried to remove it but you moved around and whispered in a raspy voice, god, how much he loved that voice.

‘’What is it?’’ Your tone sounded anxious, were you afraid something was going to happen to him? Could it be that you cared that much?

Without a word he shushed you.

‘’It’s all right, go back to sleep.’’ He said moments later, a pain in his chest since he couldn’t tell you that actually yes, there was something on his mind.

‘’You know, you have to tell people how you feel, remember?’ You spoke so wisely, even after an interrupted slumber and he couldn't help but smile.

‘’I know baby, goodnight.’’ He said as you sighed and turned around.

For Tenko could not tell you that nothing compared to this, nothing like doing nothing with you and to admit this to himself was a big liability. He would tell you eventually, maybe he’d write it down, he found it easier, but on that day he chose to wrap his arms around you again, risking numbness, than to speak the words.

[i-willstealyourtoes]

Huh can I get uhhhh

Get uhh

Bain legally adopts a teenage reader for tax reasons and drops them off at the safehouse and Dallas essentially becomes their dad?

Also a side of them hanging out with the younger heisters (Joy Sydney Sokol) and I guess I'll be having it platonic family fluff style. Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask though.

You got it right! Hope you enjoy :) I decided not to use the colours, because I'm not sure if people actually like them haha- If you guys want them back lmk!

Adopted!Teen!Reader + the PDG

- Now, Bain did adopt you for tax reasons (I don't know how that works but we roll)

- But that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or anything, he'll make sure you're alright

- But he's not exactly in the position to look after a kid, considering he's always busy and needs to be as private as possible

- So he usually leaves you at the safehouse, where there's always someone there

- Dallas interacts with you first, as well as some of the younger heisters

- He's always been the one to greet new members of the team, as he is kind of the leader

- So it isn't much different with you, although of course you're much younger than the people he's interacted with recently

- Forgive him if he's a little awkward

- With the younger heisters, at least he could talk about their occupation and skills, but with you? Nothing

- But he's friendly enough, letting you know he's there if you have any problems

- Every heister has a different first opinion of you

- For example, Joy and Sydney are quite nice to you immediantly

- They're closest to you in age, and therefore a bit more relatable

- Sydney will get you to do some pranks or something

- Joy will record it, occasionally helping out

- They're definitely one of the quickest to warm up to you

- If you like art or gaming, they're more than happy to talk about it with you!

- You can all play Mario Kart or something :)

- Joy will beat you guys for sure, but it's okay (you and Sydney will get her back later)

- I think at the start, Sokol would be kind of dismissive of you

- I mean, why do they have to deal with Bain's kid? The safe-house is a place for skilled heisters to plan out their next move, not some daycare

- Or at least, that's how it starts for him

- But when you ask for some pointers on how to shoot, play hockey, or maybe ask for some lessons in Russian, he'll start to warm up

- After that? He treats you like his beloved little sibling :)

- 'If anything happens to them I will kill everyone in this room and then myself' type beat

- May occasionally try to get you into the heisting career at some point. Maybe.

- Once you learn how to shoot and so on, Dallas might help you out too, but he probably won't let you do anything further

- You're still a kid, he doesn't like the idea of putting you in danger

- Although the younger heisters seem to think it as a potentially good idea

- As for the other heisters?

- Wolf would probably not talk to you in general, but the more time you spend in his presence, the more discreetly protective of you he is

- Chains is probably more like a mix of Dallas and Sokol in that he'd like having you train, but is unsure about you starting off a career in heisting

- Hoxton is originally a bit stand-offish for the same reason as Sokol, but eventually matches a bit with Sydney in that he'd encourage you to bring a little chaos in the safe-house

- Houston would be like Wolf; he wouldn't really speak to you or interact since he thinks it's weird for Bain to adopt you in the first place. Will encourage some pranks though-

- John Wick would also be in disagreement with you being adopted by Bain in the first place, but will warm up and help with training (he's definitely quite strict tho beware!!)

- Clover for sure acts as an older sister, teasing you but overall being kind and protective over you (will cheer you on during training)

- Dragan would try not interact with you really..but he might give some tips if you're training/working out. Eventually, like Wolf, he will become secretly protective of you :)

- Jacket would probably not interact very often with you, but eventually, he'll let you listen to his music or play games (kinda like Houston, he will low-key enjoy the pranks too)

- Bonnie would treat you like a little sibling and maybe try to teach you poker to scam the others with false innocence (high-fives if you do so) + if you have (romantic) relationship issues, she will encourage you to end/ruin their lives

- Jiro would definitely judge Bain for adopting you for tax reasons, and for a little bit he might be a quite distant, but as time progress, he sort of views you as a kid to look after too, maybe not like his child, but still a child for him to protect and look after

- Bodhi would for sure try get you into surfing or just sports, the others will pull you away (unless you actually enjoy it then they'll just roll their eyes or something)

- Jimmy is maybe not the greatest role model, but he's actually quite fun around you, just be aware he might pass out in the middle of a conversation with you

- Rust would probably keep his distance from you at first, thinking that it's better not to interact since he's, well, old and a criminal. But after a little while, especially once you start training and so on, he'll warm up to you! You might find yourself a new (o l d) uncle :)

- Sangres for sure will try to teach you some blade skills or Spanish words (a lot of them might be profanity). He's a lot of fun, just not the most responsible-

- Duke might not come up to talk to you much, but he doesn't mind talking to you if you come up to him, especially if it's about history and so on :)

[d4t-webserial]

D4T: Page 6 (Alice POV)

//cw: transphobic slur// go here for more info on d4t

previous page - next page

Alice’s been able to get Lu to hang out very often (pretty much whenever they both have free time ;p). Having this large amount of time in person she’s been able to realize some more things about him.

First off he isn’t a chaser… well he is in that he’s a “man” (we’ll get into that later) who likes trannies, but he doesn’t fit with… what you'd call the stereotype of “chaser”, but that’s not what made her come to this conclusion. No, it’s whenever she calls him a chaser he’ll visibly cringe, most men who are shameless enough to use 4chan *and* openly admit to dating tgirls are more than comfortable using chaser to describe themselves, so something about it has gotta be off to him. Secondly he’s really feminine like *super*, don’t get her wrong she wasn’t one of those weirdy homophobic girls who usually call themselves allies but would rather their boyfriend cheat on them than be bisexual, and she always knew Lu wasn’t exactly… super masculine (the idea of him doing typical straight man posturing was both ridiculous… and upsetting), but he’s *so* feminine in how he holds himself and talks... and honestly even his body (his hands are so smooth). This leads her to a simple conclusion, he isn’t *really* a chaser but instead a repper in denial (honestly she should have seen this sooner it’s a classic chaser archetype), now other girls usually talk about these chasers as bad and to be avoided, she didn’t know if this was cause there was something inherently bad about your boyfriend trooning out on you or is it’s just about the gender, due to not knowing she assumes the latter and luckily for her she’s a **massive** bishit (she has decided this as of now) and if he (or should she switch to "she"?... nah, she’ll give him the benefit of the doubt) takes the pinkpill she can still make him her girlfriend… unless he was straight technically but he obviously isn’t (he’s the dictionary definition of agp t4t transbian… except he isn’t into diapers… she hopes).

While hanging out they tended to fall into an interesting pattern whether it’s at her house in her room or at his dorm when his roommate’s out, he’ll sit at some large but not too noticeable distance away from her (he isn’t as subtle as he thinks), then while they’re talking or watching one of his shows or playing video games (well he plays she just watches, unless it’s mario kart she’s the fucking best at mario kart) she’ll move ever so closer, bit by bit so he can pull back if he wants (he never does) until she’s right next to him, she doesn’t go overboard only the sorta interactions that’d make sense for… completely platonic friends (but like… gal pal friends). Whenever she leans on him he stops making much sense like his brain is malfunctioning, and she can totally hear his heartbeat. One time she caught him looking at her and could’ve swore he was gonna kiss her… but he didn’t, ever since then he’s been a bit more distant, not much tho… just, a bit.

gsrtgsgkgnrstlhnrturwlj okay… okay… it’s okay… she’ll just wait for him to be ready, she’s okay with that, he’ll make a move… eventually,... but he *is* autistic like sooooo autistic, he might not know she’d like it, maybe if she told him… oh god…

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “hey lu”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “hi”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “i have smth i wanna tell u”

.

trashbag_minister (Lu): “what is it?”

.

.

.

she starts typing

.

.

.

.

.

.

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “if you want to date i would like that”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “oh”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “i kno u said u werent dating a while back i just”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “if u wanted to kno i guess”

.

.

.

trashbag_minister (Lu): “i’m detrans”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “what?”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “i was a trans girl for,, a while, but i stopped”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “i kno tht”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “or i didn’t kno u were but i kno what detran means”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “why?”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Too anxious to wait for a response she put her phone down… fuck, he’s a detransitioner. What does that mean? Like why tho… the only detransitioners she’d seen were the bald ones on twitter saying she was in a cult, she didn’t even know trans women detransitioned, well like obviously they do at least one did, but like… she hadn’t thought about it. Is he like… one of those ex-gay people, using her in the same way an “ex” gay uses anonymous hookups on grindr to satisfy some repressed desire. Did he think his body was mutilated, or that hers was? Why did he identify as a chaser, or go on /tttt/? Did he actually like trans girls… she had thought he did but was “chaser” just an excuse to be a cis man in trans spaces? He always seemed so supportive, but she thought detransitioners hated the trans community for “ruining” their bodies. Did he hate all trans people or only himself… Was he still the same person, Her Lu?

previous page - next page

[kxitre]

hello there >:)

i was wondering if you could do playing Mario kart or just playing video games in general with the bsd charas?? you could include anybody you want to but can it include ranpo??? IF YOU CANT I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND IOWUKHJYDHIUKJ HAVE A GREAT DAY :DD

HI! AND OMG FIRST REQUEST yes u can absolutely have that, love :)) I added Sigma and Chuuya to this! Hope u don't mind :)

~Playing Mario Kart~

Featuring: Ranpo, Chuuya, and Sigma

TW/CW: Swearing?

A/n: I know very little about Mario Kart

Ranpo:

- He gets sulky when he's beat

-Won't stop unless he's first place

-Sooooo proud when he gets first place

- Would demand praise

- Definitely snacks while playing. 

- Would have messy hands all over the controller

- Side note but Mario kart is probably the most driving he can do

- Might refuse to play a game if he's not into it

- But if it was a challenge he'd do it 

- Verrryyyyy competitive

- Not a good one for team work

- Would resort to trickery. I mean we saw him black mail poor Mushitaro TvT 

- He would probably use all sorts of gimmicks to win

- Easily can win a game

- I feel he'd be too busy winning to cuddle 

-Like he'd definitely get distracted

- and would be entirely focused on the game

‖ "Ranpo! Wash your hands for goodness sake!" ‖"But Y/n~ I'm only in second placeeeeee..."

Chuuya:

- Absolutely a sore loser. 

- Probably gets road rage while driving

- Definitely transfers his rage into real life

- Probably would get annoyed with video games

- Beware he'd most likely throw the controller if he loses

- Might rage quit tbh 

- Insults other players and you while playing

- If there's a voice chat on a video game he'd be the type to yell and cuss the other team out

- Not the type to cheat or betray anyone

- Easily can learn a game like ranpo 

- I think he'd like the idea of snuggling but he'd end up hitting you with his hands

- He would flail about while playing the game

- Definitely wouldn't drink while playing (not his wine oh no)

- But if he did oh gosh beware

- Honestly wouldn't be fun to play with 

- It would be amusing to see tho

- Like I can just see him screaming WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK at the top of his lungs every 5 minutes

‖ "Chuuya... That cost me $50." ‖"Shit."

Sigma:

- Poor guy probably doesn't know how to play video games

- You'd have to teach him

- He'd be into it if you are tho

- Would likely play it for u but doesn't care for it otherwise?

-He has a casino mate he's got enough

- I feel like he wouldn't really be a sore loser

- He'd be chill with losing tbh

- (He's 3 years old does he even know how to drive)

- We know he's got insane determination tho 

- If he found smth he likes he'd be pretty into it tho

- I feel like he'd probably prefer slower less stress games

- HE'S GOT ENOUGH STRESS

- Like I said he doesn't really game much because of his casino job

- He'd definitely follow the rules tho

- Would probably freak out if he got hit with something or lost control

- I think he'd get jump scared lol

- Would definitely prefer to cuddle while playing games

- And eat cookies

‖ "Sigma! Watch out fo-" ‖"AAAAHHCJK"

[draculeo]

graduating from undergrad in 2 weeks so i feel i might be able to add to what kal said but what helped me through my first couple semesters of college (which was double hard bc of covid) was joining literally any club i was vaguely interested in. if i was like “huh, neat” for even a second i’d go to the meeting and check out the vibes. ended up being at the school newspaper for 2 years and making a lot of friends through that! even got hired as an editor. a lot of people do go to clubs by themselves etc in college so while its hard to break the ice sometimes do remember that people are looking for friends too!!

also like with what kal said i met my best friend at 16 working an absolute nightmare restaurant job and we’ve been friends for 5 years. idk what your living situation looks like but try to attend building/floor events if you live in a dorm!!! or just go and see if people have their doors open and say hi! i met one of my best friends on the first week of freshman year because he lived directly below me and i wandered down to his dorm asked to play mario kart with him. don’t be afraid to ask people to get coffee/study/whatever, people are a lot more willing to do stuff than you realize because rejection is so terrifying (believe me ive been there)

its also helpful to have an established routine. say you go to the gym at *insert time*, go study at the coffee shop/library/whatever at *insert time*, go to club at *insert time* every day/week. you start to see a lot of the same people so it becomes a bit easier to navigate interactions if you’re familiar with them! sitting in the same seat every class can also help with this

tho i will say, it can take a shit ton of time to find real friends. you gotta wade through the crap a bit first. ive always had trouble creating friendships that are actually healthy/meaningful and i honestly wasted a ton of time both pre college and in college on people who just suck. but i got there eventually and i have a very good social life now! don’t beat yourself up over it though, you’ll get there. wishing you luck :)

also sorry for the literal essay in your inbox kal love you

literally soo ridiculous how easy it can be to start conversations i witnessed a friendship blossom at a coffee shop the other day just bc one girl from across the bar was like “omg i do that all the time haha what’s ur instagram” to the other girl and bam they planned a hangout right then and there

[theodoraflowerday]

heartstopper s3e5 live episode reaction

LETS FUCKING GO THIS WINTER/OLIVER SPRING/VICTORIA SPRING/NICKTORI STANS

genuinely the episode I'm most excited about

me, currently surrounded by three pillows and two throw pillows: oh wow tori's got a lot of pillows

BIG SISTER TORI

"I hope I get a soul" "I hope I get good mental health" the way I love the spring siblings cannot be described accurately in mere words.

I HOPE I GET A MUM WHO CAN REGULATE HER EMOTIONS OH MY GOD

"I hope I get grandparents who don't comment on my weight" wouldn't that be so fucking awesome charlie (not that my grandparents have ever been like that but other family members have)

I HOPE DAD REMEMBERS TO PROPERLY SEASON THE TURKEY - HE WON'T - YEAH HE WON'T

I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUUUUUUUUUUUCH

move over jane I will in fact be taking over care duties for these two

honestly jane needs therapy the most out of everybody in that household. and we're talking about the same household where charlie and tori spring live in.

HENRYYYYYYYYY

BRO HE'S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I was imagining he'd be smaller tho :(

"by little guy who needs hugs I did mean henry but actually that applies to me as well so" I WAS *ABOUT* TO SAY AKDJFISJFOSJFSOIF

OLIVEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

OLIVER SPRING I MISSED YOU SO MUCH I MISS YOU EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY

I know why they couldn't have oliver but GOD I MISSED YOU

HE'S GOT LOADS OF TRACTORS THATS MY BABY BOY

oh my god it's been eight months? that's so cute

"any lovely boys in your life?" "no"

STRAIGHT BOYS ARE THE WORST LAJFLSJFLSJF

good thing michael isn't straight eh eh eh eh eh

"he might not end up being straight" olly is the springs' token straight but he's a good one. like tao.

Jane I SWEAR TO GOD

oh my god

is that David? NOOOOO I THOUGHT WE WERE FREE OF HIM

oh my god I'm gonna rip his balls off I'm gonna drag him down the street with his dick tied to the car I'm gonna rip every single one of his eyelashes

FUCK YOU DAVID

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO

TEAM LET NICK NELSON SAY FUCK 2K24 JUST HAD ITS BIGGEST WIN YET

nick really needs to tell david to shut the fuck up more often honestly

"stop flirting in the group chat" same isaac

DARCYYYYYYYYYYYYY

DARCY'S GRANDMA SAYING YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME I'M GONNA CRY

oh..... oh is sahar flirting???

TEAM ZAHEANEY

god this is stressing me out so much

TORI

TORI NOOOOOOOOOO

fuckkkkkkk her FACE my BABY GIRL

oh he's so soaked baby :(

parallel gifset thoooooooo

OH THEYRE KISSING okay I see it

ODKFKDJFDKFKDLGKDLGKF

AUNTIE DIANE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

oh he's peaking I see u nick

RIDICULOUSLY ADORABLE

god

I love both of them so much? it's insane?

obsessed with auntie diane also adoring charlie like that's a nelson sisters thing

god sarah should be here I miss her :(

nick and charlie and the twins :( I love them :(

henry as everyone's emotional support pug

fuck you david you know what you did

JAKFJSKFJDKFJDJF I know david's terrified of tori I know he is

AGAIN: henry as everyone's emotional support pug!!!! get tori a dog please for the love of god!!!!!

"I worry about you all the time, you know" of course you do bbg, best sister ever award goes to victoria spring

nicktori teaming up on charlie to support him! charlie spring stans #1

"there's always new years eve" god I hope NYE is good

"I think about it. like all the time--NOT all the time, a respectful amount of time that one thinks about one's girlfriend in that way" JAKFJSKFJDKFJDJF TAO I LOVE YOU

off the top of my head I can't imagine a single show or movie that's handled being a transgender teenager and starting your sex life. let alone in a way that feels so beautiful and respectful. heartstopper is truly just breaking barriers left and right.

tori, charlie and oliver playing mario kart together....... you will rip this scene from my cold dead hands. COLD DEAD HANDS im telling you

HOW'S MY TINY BOYYYYY

oh my god

the way nick said "lucky me" sounded so.........

I know those two are going to salt that car

IMOGEN HUGGING CHARLIEEEEEEEEEE

omg

oh poor tara baby

ZAHEANEYYYYYYY

oh. oh yeah imogen honey no

yeah I see why sahar would be so annoyed like omg

DARCY AND FELIX ARE DISCUSSING PRONOUNS IM GONNA SOB

not rush playing in the background lmfao this party is so homosexual

oh OH OH OHHHHH okay

okay so that WAS the point I thought I was being odd when thinking that song was weirdly sensual

naomi is the sweetest tiniest loveliest babygirl I'm so glad we have her

god they're SO BEAUTIFUL we lucked out so much with kit and joe

oh tori

"the only person I care about is you" oh tori baby girl love of my life

"that won't be true forever" IT WON'T BE!!!!! I CAN ALMOST FEEL MICHAEL

oh my god

"we haven't spoken properly since halloween and now you're here to kiss me at midnight" god I wish I was sahar she's so brave and cool and fuckin awesome

GASp

WHAF

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

IMOGEN IS WHY SAHAR REALIZED SHE WAS BI

WHAT ZJFLSJFLDJFSLFJDLFJDLFISLFIDLFI

G A S p

OH MY GIC

MICJAEL

MICHAEL

OYMGJ

THRUR ENOT MEETING LIKE TJAT

BRO THATS A MEET CUTE

SPROOOOLLLLDDEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNN

TJR LITTLE SNOWFLAKE

IM NOT

BRO I'M NOT DOING OKAY

TAOELLE

Y'ALL AREN'T HAVING SEX RIGHT AT NEW YEARS DJDKSUFKDJFLDJFLDKF

IMOGEN AND SAHAR???????????

oh my go d

BRO

BRO I'M DYING

NICK AND CHARLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

fuck

yeah I was so right this is probably gonna be my favorite episode of the season

[eveandtheturtles]

These are my karello headcanons before I even wrote the fic. It was early November 2022. Gosh it's been so long lol. Have a look inside my crazy world.

- Both equally smart,

- Donnie is not that good at co-op games, but Karaa rocks them so when they play like overwatch or other multiplayers they always do team ups and Donnie heals her while she wrecks everyone and protects her bf

- the bros were playing Mario Kart one day and Karaa joined in. That day Mikey the ruling champion of Mario Kart was dethroned.

- that being said they are terrifying together when playing Among Us and so it happens they both got impostor. No survivors.

- Donnie is the tattoo artist of the group so Karaa one day asks him to ink her. He gets very flustered when it's get back and she takes off her shirt.

- both are awful at taking care of themselves but Donnie is a bit more attentive to her and if she passed out on her control panel he will pick her up and carry to bed. She will try to toss a blanket over him and get a pillow under his head.

- he is the first to say I love you, while she pussyfoots about it.

- she always somehow manages to slot herself in his lap. It's welcomed but at first this was very distracting.

- she trains with Donnie with their bõ staff, he had a time to get adjusted to her tiny tiny size which she abused lol. One time Raph, being protective big bro challenged her and she wiped the floor with him. She might not have the strength but she had the agility and speed on him. Donnie was very proud of her and the others were making fun of Raph.

- Leo doesn't know what to think of her, since 1) a criminal but 2) she is a criminal on their side and plus, Donnie seems to be really happy with her.

- Karaa is more experienced of the two, since she kind of used sex as a way to clear her mind/blow off steam. She was very patient with him though. And tbh the whole romantic stuff got her more giddy than anything else. Like "yeah sex is great but have you heard about cuddles???"She does joke about climbing him like a tree tho.

- after first time he just laid there completely flustered like that one overwatch comic between young Ana and Reinhardt - "Thank you!"

[cryapie]

MARIO MOVIE REVIEW 2023

As a Mario fan, ofc

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Things the Movie excelled in

Cinematography

It was actually pretty nice and refreshing

The set pieces

Immaculate attention to detail.

Mario Movie References

Mario Galaxy

The blue star child in the cage

When Peaches ship thing dis-attaches from the castle in the beginning of the film

Super Mario 3D World

The music when they enter the mushroom town is the same as in Super Mario 3D World

In one of the stalls in the town, the Toad is selling the bell powerup

The town has the same colour scheme & clear pipes as the game

Mario gets the same bell/cat powerup as in the game

Super Mario Odyssey

Pauline Reference

Bowser’s wedding outfit is the same as the one in the game (flowers, suit, the whole bit)

Same with Peach

The wedding music that plays is the same that plays in the Odyssey game

The desert area with the floating pyramid is an actual world in Odyssey

MarioKart Eight Deluxe

Blue shell

Bananas

Rainbow road

The Kart mechanics (hovering, glide )

Nice attention to detail with drifting

When picking their karts the music that plays is the same as on the customisation screen of the game(also the scrolling thing to pick the kart components is neat)

THEIR CHOSEN KARTS AND OUTFITS

Peach has the iconic bike and outfit

Mario has the standard kart

Also, toad having the big car is a nice touch

Mario Party

The superstar

The shot in which Boswer holds the star is the EXACT SAME as when you win the star in the game

Luigi’s Mansion

The “Dark Lands” trees have the same gnarly design as in the game

ALSO, LUIGI’S FLASHLIGHT AND THE WHOLE BIT IN THE FOREST GAVE MASSIVE LUIGI’S MANSION VIBES OTHER REFERENCES

“The princess is in another castle” joke

Captain Toad looks very good, his bag is on point, love the attention to detail (I wish they actually named him tho)

The soundtrack

When the brothers discover the underground pipes in brooklin, the music is the same as when u are in an underground tunnel in the Mario games

The music that plays when they use the star to defeat bowser is the same as in the games

The music that plays when the toads cheer for Peach and Mario is the same as in the Congratulations screen in Mario Kart Wii

Love their mannerisms

I like how Peach’s fighting style comprises mostly of kicks, like in super smash bros

How Mario jumps

Nailed the outfits (Peach’s fire and ice outfits, cat power, racoon power etc) and how they looked as kids

Love how they managed to fit all of bowsers army

Yoshi cameo <3333

The design of DK’s village is spot on

Like how they included the different characters, with DK, Diddy Kong and the old guy (sorry DK fans, Idk his name)

Not a massive DK game player, so any references were lost on me tbh

Things the Movie sucked at

The plot was generic at best, actively terrible at worst

The Peach’s song sucks, and I hope it is mem-a-fied

The Jokes were a hit or miss

MISSED OPPORTUNITIES

BOWSERS KIDS, WHERE IS BOWSER JR!!!!

HONESTLY, THE B PLOT OF THIS MOVIE SHOULD HAVE FOCUSED ON THE KAPPA CHILDREN, DO U NOT UNDERSTAND THE POTENTIAL!!??

Rosalina my beloved

Daisy :(((

WALUIGI AND WARIO HOW DARE THEY CUT U OUT

Overall Thoughts and Opinions

6.5/10

The creators definitely loved the franchise, I adored the attention to detail. It’s not the peak of cinema by any means, but it’s a good time. Though, if you’re not a Mario fan, you might want to skip this one.

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Ok I’ve been listening to my 💅sassy ass Ru Paul playlist for most of the day, and I didn’t realize how much it affected my mood until I gave this a re-read and was like, wow, I really just went for everyone huh 🤔😅

So ya…. I might come off as angry and belligerent, but that’s actually me at my 🥳 most joyous. 😂

I was having the time of my life reading this and just stomping the heck out of everyone in my mind…snatching wigs left and right….basically being the living embodiment of Joseph Gordon Levitt in this gif:

That’s like, a normal daydream fantasy right?

Also Me after reading this fic: ma’am this is a Wendy’s I’m going to need u to put any references to dogs near the end of the fic, or make the dog a chihuahua bc if u front load the fic with a single mention of a dog, that’s going to be an issue for me 🥺

Why??? B/c this is the kind of person I am irl:

“Loretta, let me sleep,” you warn the family Great Pyrenees. 

Great Pyrenees 😯

Great Pyrenees 🥹

Great Pyrenees 😍

“I sit on the back of a truck selling peaches and honey.  It’s not that important.”

Great Pyrenees 🥰

and Hal gives you that boyish grin, and head wave.  Thankfully he couldn’t see you roll your eyes from this distance.

Great Pyrenees😊… oh huh?? Right, anyway….

Lol for some reason at this part I was thinking of like a reverse Wuthering Heights where the dad brings home an orphan (Heathcliff) but instead of falling in love with him Cathy just hates his guts lmao 🤣

“Gotta jar up the honey,”

Wait does she do the whole thing where u smoke the bees and stuff??? Metal as heck 🤙That’s terrifying to me tho…like, I could never 😳

you grab up a biscuit, and smile towards Loretta, “Your help should really earn her keep.  Dad and Hal are hard at work.

Great Pyrenees 😌

you need to also oversee the general store.

Me: General Store 🫡

To no one’s surprise the general store was dead.

He should get the 21 gun salute for his service to the country 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🫡

Taking a bite of the peach as you start to write about the odd and quirky little town you lived in.

Me: yeah… I’d like to do that someday in the future…

Someday in the future :

“You the only one here?”

Me, always ready to be suspicious and hostile:

*reloads shotgun*

*turns on one of those spinning baby mobile things I rigged up at the back of the truck with like 6 laser pointers attached so it looks like a team of snipers are taking aim*

Me: “who’s asking“😒

“What cha got there?”

Me, bluffing, and doesn’t even have anything illegal on my person: are you a cop?? You’re legally obligated to tell me if you’re a cop 🤨

His arm reaches behind you to a jar of honey,

…triggering one of the 19 bear traps I have strategically placed on the shelves

D&D taught me well. My dungeon master would be proud 🥲

Might I entice you with some freshly picked unpoisoned peaches? They’re definitely not poisoned delicious on the grill, and drizzle on some of the honey, which is also definitely not poisoned

🤫

“I was needing to order some things as well?  Building supplies,”

Me, still extremely suspicious, telepathing to my Great Pyrenees❤️ who is probably miles away on the farm: ok bestie, it’s do or die time. I have to use the super dangerous but also 100% infallible technique for identifying cops. If you don’t see me again….you were the best girl 😭

My Great Pyrenees: blissfully unaware just hanging out on the farm

Me *takes a deep breath*: Copsayswhat

Customer: What? Sorry didn’t catch that

Me: GOTCHA, sucker 😎 *chuckles* works every time 😏

*triumphantly steps inside and closes the back of the truck in their face. Then proceeds to play Mario Kart or something for the rest of the day b/c I can’t drive myself home*

30 seconds later:

Me, opening the back of the truck again with a megaphone in hand: AND FURTHER MORE, how come if guys end a sentence with a question mark/ upwards inflection it’s not a big deal? Like literally not even an issue? But when girls do it? It’s UPTALK? And we’re like, valley girls???? What up with that????

*Shuts the back of the truck again*

My parents when they come to drive the truck home: Hello daughter. Did you sell anything today?

Me: how about I tell you what I didn’t sell instead? MY SOUL. I DIDN’T SELL MY SOUL TO CAPITALISM!! How about that huh???? 😤😤😤

Parents: *not even angry, just exasperated* …I wish we could still send you to summer camp or something 😩

“You from here?  Or just passing through?  We get a few traveling builders around here, and they don’t tend to last long.”

Idk why tho. You’d think that we were selling like, poisoned peaches and honey here they way people just keep dropping dead 💀. We’re not selling anything poison btw 🙃. Haha ha ha

His eyes move around the store, before looking back at you, “Time stands still here doesn’t it.”

Dude… I’m like crying laughing bc this reminds me of that vanity fair article written by the guy that was creepily obsessed with Margo Robbie where he says stuff like, “Australia is America 50 years ago, sunny and slow”

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2016/07/margot-robbie-cover-story

THIS IS NOT A DRILL 🚨🚨🚨 this is a real Vanity Fair article written by an adult man 😰😰😰

he lets out a sigh of relief when he discovers you are in fact legal,

… I legit don’t even know if this is a red flag or not lmao like on the one hand… never mind, let’s just move on 😅

Here, you can fill it out?

The form I would give:

dribble of the amber liquid that drifts down his neck, pooling at his white t-shirt.  

Me: … Why can’t anyone eat or drink with their mouths closed? Is the genetic pool here shallow af or what

You’re thinking of Tilley Bend.  Devil’s Den is where a group of witches danced around in a circle, and opened a portal up to hell. 

Me: u don’t say… very interesting 🤔

*opens up my coven group chat*

SISTERS, who wants to go on a road trip?🤠🤠🤠 heard there’s a gnarly portal around here

Of course, that’s nothing but those superstitious old women who make sure to cross the air when a black cat crosses their path. 

Smh this guy seems like someone who dismisses “old wives tales” 😒

well guess what son, u know why the wives are old? Bc they listened to each others warnings and SURVIVED.

U don’t hear ppl say “old husbands tales” do u? Yeah, bc those fools prob got eaten by mermaids or some shit.

The 60 y/o man that was just trying to make friendly conversation: … did u just call me son?

Me: well, you’re not my father but maybe you’d prefer to be the Holy Spirit?

*reloads shotgun*

The YELP reviews for my shop:

You wouldn’t be like that would you?

Lol, check out Chief Magistrate William Stoughton over here 🙄 this guy wants to bring back the Court of Oyer and Terminer or what?

The temperature must be rising because you were sweating.  

Me, secretly a witch: damn they better not allow spectral evidence in court 👻

(Note: guess who has 2 thumbs and recently listened to like 7h of podcasts about the Salem Witch trialsssss 😃)

Well, maybe I’ll see you around then…” he waits for you to drop your name,

Me: lol nice try *cackles and continues spinning straw into gold in the corner* (hahah see what I did there!! It’s a callback!!!)

He was more than those silly little boys around town.

The heck??? He’s more what??? More of a waste of space??

Sis, all this washed up C-tier ex-athlete did was throw shade at witches and old women😒 He can’t even drink tea properly without a sippy cup. Pls….Think of your Great Pyrenees 😭 she deserves better than this

“Now, make sure that you check in with Hal everyday,”

???????? Is she not the heir apparent to this peach and honey empire? Why does she have to check in with the help???

*realizes I’m becoming Ransom Drysdale* 😬😬😬 *immediate checks my privilege* 🤐🤐🤐 lmao

Can’t I just close the store on Saturday’s, too?  It’s a lot for one person.

No girl, u can’t!!😥 Someone has to stand their ground against Jeff Bezos, and it isn’t Sears, and it isn’t Toys R Us 😵‍💫 it’s gotta be u

“Alan, she’s twenty years old.  Let her have her summer.  Work on her book, and yes, Saturday’s can be off.  Even Hal gets off on the weekends. 

Ok wait, ur telling me this random uh… valued employee gets weekends off but their own daughter doesn’t??? What kind of Cinderella and her evil stepsisters situation is this?

🤨

This is like the opposite of Knives Out. This is like, Knives In. Knives in the back of your own flesh and blood 🔪🔪🔪🩸 Et tu, Brute? 😖😖😖can’t believe they are making her work like that smh

Laying on the couch, your hand barely petting on the dog

My mood swinging all the way back around: actually… U know what, maybe she doesn’t deserve weekends off. If I had a dog, I would consider it an honour and a privilege to pet her 25/8 😤😤

Hell’s Hollar wasn’t far.  And if Cole was working, he might want some tea, and a picnic

Lol go up there with a ghostface mask and scare the shit out of him 😈 we’ll see who’s the superstitious old woman when he’s running for his life 😱😏

You swore he was literally plucked out of your dreams.

Me: wait let me try!!! I can do it too!!! *Rummages around randomly in my dreams*

Oh… wait this isn’t even in my size dammnit 😤😤😤

“I don’t know why, but I felt like you might want some food?”

There are better ways to test if someone is an android. Like, idk, a captcha. Or a blowtorch to the face🤷‍♀️

“I brought some sandwiches, but also, some Brie. It tastes good with the honey, and there’s some chips, and I wanted to bring some homemade ice cream, I make the best. Memama has the best recipe, so I shouldn’t take credit, but add that to some peach cobbler, it’s to die for.  So instead, there’s some brown butter Rice Krispie treats.  Made them this morning.”

Wow she’s really going all out huh. I’d be like ya uh…here’s an open package of saltines and a babybel cheese I found at the back of the fridge. Pls sign this waiver that absolves me of any legal responsibility if u happen to get food poisoning

Also like… the creepy neighbour lady from Rosemary’s baby didn’t even give Rosemary anything close to this kind of spread….

And the stakes were MUCH higher. We’re talking the actual spawn of Satan (bless our dark lord Baphomet 🐐), and all Rosemary got was some chalky tasting chocolate mouse pudding thing. 🤢

Personally, I would not bring all this nice food for ANYONE. Unless they were a Great Pyrenees.

you drizzle a bit of honey on a wedge of Brie before popping it in your mouth

Me, the pickiest eater: Wait, the rind too?? Hmm… probably eats the crusts on bread and pizza as well. Not for me, but I deeply respect that.👍

Cole wipes it with his finger, and stuffs the thick liquid into his mouth without thinking

Me, a germaphobe: did u even wash/Purell(TM) your hands you barbarian??? Patient zero over here about to bring back the bubonic plague 🧟‍♂️😒😒😒

Ooooooh that was so fun!!! I feel like this is supposed to be romantic and I definitely got that vibe, but like, decided to sidestep and offer an alternative commentary 😅

Also I love how I’m like 10x more critical of this Cole Turner who has done 0 things wrong than of the other Cole who literally does everything wrong.

Maybe I just have a knack for seeing/imagining the worst in people, and if they’re already written as a sleazy cheating ass ho, then there’s not much for me to add, u know?? 😂😂😂

Stained Like Georgia Clay, Part 1

Summary:  as fate would have it, you meet someone new, just as your parents go out of town.

Pairings:  Cole Turner X Reader

Rating:  fluff

Warnings:  none yet, 18+ ONLY

Word Count:  2.3K

Series Masterlist

Keep reading

[crabonfire]

more random tf2 headcannons :) (modern addition!)

Engineer likes Lego’s. He LOVES the fact that there’s a toy out there that empowers kids to create, he loves the Lego typewriter and is obsessed with the Lego creators sets. (Bonsai tree, sky wars mask, etc.) if you ask him about it he’ll be like “I think it’s great kids are learnin’ to build such things.” But he will never admit he actually wants the legos. Give him legos? So happy. In general, he likes puzzles. He loves games that have puzzles like Portal.

Pyro loves video games. Any game he’s up for it. I can see him as a MAJOR Kirby fan. He’d probably play Kirby games all day long if he got the chance to. Sometimes when he notices Engie working a little too much, he will drag him to their room and play Mario kart together. Sometimes he asks others, like scout!

Heavy doesn’t play many video games, but wanna know what he likes? Chess. He loves strategy and often plays with Medic, Spy, and Engineer. Snipers quite good at it, but he likes to watch instead so he can see how much each player struggle against each other. He finds it funny, yet insanely interesting.

Demoman and Soldier shop a lot. for the most random bullshit they can find. On some nights when everyone is asleep, they’ll sneak out to like a target and pick out the most random bullshit they can find. If anyone catches them while they try to sneak out, they ask them to come along. One time Scout and heavy came along and heavy ended up having a migraine over the three men wearing the most ridiculously stupid looking yet expensive clothing anyone has ever bought. He thinks it’s funny but is also questioning the amount of money they’ve spent in one night. He’s never coming with ever again.

Scout is really good at ALL the arcade games. But one thing he’s super good at? Claw machines and fucking DDR. He thinks of it as fun legwork and loves the competitive aspect of it. Trust me when I say he’s full combod all the fucking hard songs. Sometimes he’d just play to let out the stress tho. He’d play songs like Love Is Orange, A, and of course a CLASSIC fucking Butterfly (if u don’t know any of these songs I understand because barely nobody knows these, I just play a shit ton of ddr)

Medic has a twitter account where he just spams about how annoying the other mercs are at the medbay, if they’re treating him badly expect a whole thread on it. It’s private, everyone is on there and miss Pauling likes to reply and absolutely cackles at his tweets.

“These imbeciles get on my fucking nerves sometimes mein gott.” -medic

“I’m guessing you had a rough day?” -missp

“Yes. Scout screams like a final girl from a horror movie and demoman spilled his booze all over my table. If this job doesn’t kill them I will I swear.” -medic

“Wow…uh. I’m so sorry.” -missp

“No need to feel sorry, they might boss me around but I still have the pregnancy pen. If anyone gets out of line I’ll make them go through the worst pain of all, motherhood.” -medic

“OH.” -missp

“wtf” -scout

Spy is one of those competitive sports fans, but not in terms of sport, in terms of music. I can see him talking about his favorite jazz artist then go crazy that a pop artist who’s “nothing like *insert his fav artist*” is at the top of the billboard charts.

“HE IS MUCH MORE TALENTED THAN ANY OF THESE IDIOTIC POPSTARS. HOW THEY MAKE THESE VILE SONGS…ITS NOT ART! Nothing will compare to him, his music is like heaven to one’s ear…*rambles*”

Sniper goes to pet adoption centers to play around with the pets. He has this dog he plays with a lot, her name is Molly and he adores her.

“Your a cheeky girl aren’t cha? Your so cute…yes you are, yes you are.” He says as he’s petting Molly in his arms.

Nobody knows this except Pauling, who caught him while she was in the area. He walked in with a frown but walked out with the happiest grin shes ever seen on any man.

[ticklishfiend]

okay here are my lee!jesse headcanons bc i cannot get it out of my head

- this man is a KICKER. tickle him even the slightest bit and he will crumble to the floor just so he can try and kick you from below

- his neck is SUCH a bad spot on him omg. jane has always been one to kiss/bite at peoples necks in bed, but he literally cant take it and she thinks it’s precious. the first time she did it, he like violently snickered and jerked his head so hard he accidentally head butted her lol. after that she absolutely assaulted him with ticklish neck kisses and nibbles because his giggles and pleas were too cute not to

- jane loved to tickle jesse any chance she could. if she woke up before him? side squeezes are his new alarm clock. just chilling together on the couch? perfect time for a surprise tickle attack. and he never properly fought her off either, just kinda pulled at her wrists a bit with his head thrown back and jerking side to side in cackles. oh, and the kicks of course. he never kicked her, but he’s always kicking BEHIND her when she’s tickling him. feet banging on the floor kinda deal.

- his laugh has variety to say the least. he usually starts out really loud and boisterous and from the belly, before going kinda screamy and shrill, and after a while he just goes full squeals and giggles. he’s soooo embarrassed when he gets to the giggle-stage. this boy loves acting tough but give the bottom of his ribs some good tweaks for a while and he’s just gone full bubbly laughter.

- when he started seeing andrea, he definitely took on a more ler role. giving her little pokes when he’s teasing her, sometimes going full tickle monster when she says something snarky. that doesn’t mean andrea doesn’t tickle him back tho, because when she realized just HOW ticklish he was, he never lived it down

- andrea and brock have 100% ganged up on him before. there’s a scene where jesse tickles brock for like a split second when they’re playing mario kart, so i know he’s definitely gotten brock before when play fighting and roughhousing. so one time after finishing up playing tickle monster with the kid, he realizes andrea was watching, and she’s just got this look on her face. then she’s like “brock, u know jesse’s super ticklish right? oh he didn’t tell u?” and brock’s like 😮 before turning to jesse and just launching on top, andrea close behind to help out cause she’s very familiar with all the best spots. jesse doesn’t fight back even a little, he’s having so much fun with the two of them, even if it costs him just a smidgen of his dignity

- badger and skinny pete have wrecked his shit before. those two are idiots who are constantly stoned out of their mind, so finding out that their best friend is ridiculously ticklish was incredibly interesting information to them. jesse was like a tornado trying to fight them off but the two of them together just inevitably had more strength than the ticklish 5’8 lil freak, especially once they started squeezing at his sides and belly at the same time cause he just lost all motor function and curled up in a cackling, kicking ball on the floor.

- badger loves tickling jesse the most, he thinks it’s fucking hilarious. skinny pete usually just sits there and chuckles along, making comments like “damn how are u a grown ass man and ur still this ticklish?” “yo my cousin tried tickling me one time as a kid, and i elbowed her so hard she lost a fuckin tooth.” but that’s besides the point. sometimes badger will just be in one of his lil rambling episodes, talking about god knows what, and literally while talking will just reach over and start squeezing up and down jessie’s torso til he falls over. badger literally pretends like he’s not even tickling him, just continuing telling his story to pete while jesse is a hysterical fucking mess right beside him.

okay it’s 3am and i’m too tired to continue this but i might continue with more cause i want to tickle jesse Myself but if i can’t have that this is the next best thing

[lavenders-soups]

hello helloo! i am back (what a surprise) with more headcanons

kenma is a personal favorite and i had this written months ago but finally finished it (rlly bc i dont want to sleep)

warnings: noneee just once again fluff <33

kenma x gn!reader

being with kenma is...

• soup simping pt 2

• right so anyways

• like he'd be a good partner

• i think he's relatively down to earth in a way

• and can kinda tell how you're feeling (most of the time)

• he cares for you tho and it might not be said but its shown with small acts of kindness

• haha you thought i could write about him and not include video games??

• its smth he loves

• and you're smth he loves too

• so put that together and you have video game dates!

• its cute, whether you play the same games he does or not

• expect a lot of competitive spirit coming from yall (and pray you dont play mario kart or smth)

• its a chill and lovely time

• as you may know he has a shitty sleep schedule same

• and if you do too thats great bc then you can spend some time together (yall need to sleep tho ☺️)

• honestly its a chill relationship

• don't expect to be going out for dates much honestly

• if you do it's to get food or go to an arcade and get back in the comfort of your or his own home

• all in all a good partner

• 100/10 head pats

[myrandomthoughtsblog]

How I think being in a queer platonic relationship with Kenma Kozume would be like (gn! reader)

English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistake. Hope you guys like it and I might have gotten carried away lol <3

Kuroo definitely helped you two get together and teases both of you (mainely Kenma) a lot

Very perceptive but also kinda cluless so I think he'd rather sit and talk about each others boundaries instead of waiting to see how you would react to somethings

Kenma will let you play in his switch almost everytime you ask if his not using it

If you like gaming as well he will make you buy a switch (or buy it for you) so you two can play games together

Will get mad if you are better than him on mario kart and will get salty cuz of it, but nothing a couple cuddles can't fix (only if you are comfortable with it)

Animal crossing dates!!!!!

If you don't know how to play Kenma will happily teach you how to while you sit on his lap (if that's something you like)

But if you don't like gaming he does not mind as long as you let him play

Loves when you cuddle him while watching him play

Not a huge fan of Just dance but would end up playing with you and getting competitive

Now when it comes to volleyball...

Kenma would be very happy if you went to his games

Would totally drag you to play it with him if Kuroo was draging him

Speaking of the rooster boy y'all would be reaaaaaally close

You'd have to hear Kenma complaning about Lev

After a hard practice Kenma would like to cuddle with you while watching something

Nappping together <3

Not a fan of pda but likes to hold your hand if he's not gaming, otherwise walking close to you works as well

Would 100% curse someone if they disrespect you or yours relationship

Being friends with Bokuto, Akaashi and Hinata >>>>>

I think Kenma might be a bit shy when it comes to talking about you to his team but would end up doing it if Kuroo asks him to do so

Not a big fan of outside dates but would do it if you ask to (while complaning but we all know he does not really mean it)

likes going to cafes tho

Hates cooking but likes to do it with you

A great listener but isn't very good with advises

Might get shy or cocky with complements depending on what you say

If that’s something you are comfortable with he might give you cheek kisses and also likes to receive it

Studying with Kenma would be pretty peaceful and helpful but I think he might lose his patience if his tutoring you

If you decided to live together your house would be so cool and fancy omg I can't

Doesn't mind if you wear his clothes and might end up wearing yours as well

Playful fights would be pretty common

If you are feeling sad or insecure Kenma would 100% get out of his comfort zone to make you feel better

Gossiping together >>>>

The best person to talk about your queer experience with (but you might end up crying with him who knows)

Yaku would definitively fight people if they insist in saying you and Kenma are a romantic couple (Kuroo would too)

Likes to record you two just to have it on his phone

Would MELT if you played with his hair

I don't think he would like to call you pet names like he preferes to call you by your nickname and wouldn't mind if you called him Ken or something

Would tell you everything after he's comfortable with you

Having to beg him to sleep in a decent time but if you also likes to go to sleep late than it's a lost cause

If having kids is something you’d like to Kenma would definitely take it into consideration

When his mental health is getting bad doing something he likes with you would make him feel better

Imagine playing board games with him during a rainy day while drinking hot chocolate omg I'm soft now

Would 100% start to watch, read or play something you like if you ask him to

A big ass hater of amatonormativity

Would always try to help you

Likes to buy you random stuff

In general I think that being Kenma's qp partner would be pretty chill and fun

Sorry for taking so long to post this lol. I hope you guys enjoyed and feel free to request more fics :)

Here's my masterlist: