#you might as well tell me pigs can fly

[aratilightwood]

[music-for-them-asses]

Idk man I just don't know how to rewire my brain to believe that good things can happen for me, especially when it comes to relationships

[webslingingslasher]

can you please give us something angsty between ethan and trouble? like how ethan texts her and she ignores the messages during the breakup. or when they run into each other in the cafeteria and trouble pretends he’s not there and walks away despite he’s calling out her name. the way trouble no longer crochets because that was her thing with ethan and it feels strange to pick up the needles and it makes her miss him.

*cleaning out my drafts!*

ethan is peter's best friend and by default, he owes you nothing.

you were a friend for the moment but once you and peter ended, so did the alliship. ethan didn't get that in the memo, but he's never made a friend through peter and lost her through him too. he keeps thinking everything is normal, like there isn't a giant peter shaped hole in the fence.

'hey, so i was thinking we could have a little study sesh at the library?'

'i'll rent out a room. and it would be just us.'

'obv.'

you miss him too sometimes. but he chose peter by default and you don't condemn him one bit for it, ally did the same with you. peter was ethan's friend first, so he should still be one when you walked away.

peter doesn't talk to ally anymore either. both friends became constant reminders of what you had and lost.

it might be a text message but you can hear ethan's voice in your head, he sounds defeated.

'i'm guessing that's a no.' you never open them but he knows you read them. it doesn't surprise ethan, you've ignored him since you dumped peter. he just never expected to be dumped too.

'i miss you.'

'i just wanna hang out with you again.'

'and if you don't want him around either that's fine with me.'

'i'll fly you somewhere in my private jet.'

'damn it. i was really hoping for a "you have a private jet???" response.'

'it's a yes btw. just because i know you're curious.'

'well, actually, it's my parents but you always say that's the same thing.'

you watch each notification appear and disappear. your teeth dig into your bottom lip to stop a smile, you can't go backwards. if you're around ethan it leads to peter and you can't do that.

ethan didn't realize there might be a reason why you haven't been texting him back, but he does now. what if you weren't replying because you weren't seeing them? he thought you were just ignoring him but it's been weeks of silence.

'did you block me too?'

he hopes not. he really, really hopes not. ethan knows why you pushed him away, he's just upset that he didn't get a say in it. ethan's never been able to tell you how sorry he is on behalf of his best friend and how he doesn't want to lose you over his idiocy.

you frown at the message, restraining your impulse to text him back, you hold your breath and wait for another message.

it comes two minutes later and your entire heart shatters.

'crochet buddy?'

you haven't been able to look at your basket of hooks and yarn, it feels wrong to finish your pig. you told ethan you kept messing up on the ears and he said he'd do them for you. he never got the chance. you wonder if he finished his lizard tail.

your thumbs move before your mind can stop you, not that it would. you had to tell him the truth, you can't have him wallow and sulk over you.

peter might deserve it but ethan doesn't.

'it would surprise me if you didn't have a private jet.'

'hey!!!!!!!!'

'don't leave yet pls.'

'let me take you out to lunch. we can go to the village or brooklyn.'

'i promise he won't find out.'

'please?'

'i miss my buddy.'

you think it's almost as painful as splitting from peter. ethan is peter's best friend and you can't get in the middle of that. it'll hurt peter just as bad and while part of you wants him to be hurt over you, you don't want to use ethan as the pawn to do it.

you back out of the conversation, lock your phone, set it down, and grab your unfinished pig before curling up with him for a nap.

---

ethan doesn't eat in kayte hall. you know he doesn't eat in kayte hall because you ate in cathedral hall with the sig nu frat.

used to.

you switched to kayte hall two weeks ago, it was an extra five minute walk but it was done with the purpose to avoid situations like this.

you try to move discreetly, it doesn't matter, he clocked you the second you sat down. you can't abandon ship, he's sliding in the seat across from you.

'you're avoiding me and i really hate it. you made me stoop so low i had to get a pledge to track you down for me.'

you're not going to give him the silent treatment, that would be plain rude.

'are you admitting to stalking me?'

'i'm admitting that i instructed someone to stalk you. are you flattered? you should be.'

'why aren't you at cathedral?'

'because you don't eat there anymore, duh. can i have a grape?' you hesitate before sliding your tray halfway up the table, he takes three.

you listen to the purple crush between his teeth, ethan looks a bit more serious after he swallows. you look at your cup, his stare makes you feel guilty.

'look, let me get this out of the way now so we don't have to talk about it again. i don't know all the details, park- peter hasn't really opened up to me about it.'

you swallow tightly, this is exactly what you didn't want to happen.

'from what i know- or pieced together, he disappointed me too. i'm sorry for whatever he did and i'm sorry it hurt you enough that i was caught in the crossfire, but between us, when i'm with you, he doesn't exist. this is the last time i'll ever talk about him, i'll offer you the same courtesy and we won't bring it up again.'

ethan's saying all the right things, you softly shrug. 'what's the courtesy?'

'you can ask me about him if you want to. it'll stay between us, i promise.'

the peter floodgates burst open, you'd done your best to push him from your mind but now you have the opportunity to indulge. you nibble at your bottom lip before looking up at him. ethan's smile is gentle, he's trying so hard for you.

'how is he doing?' from the little rumors you've heard it doesn't seem too good and the harsh bruise splattered across his jawline last week didn't do him any favors.

'um,' his smile tweaked, it's worse than you thought. you know it's bad because ethan's trying to find a way to be honest but not worry you. 'he's okay.'

'please be honest.' you know you ended it, you know it's real this time and you know part of you wants to hate him but if he's really down bad, you might have to give him a visit. ethan takes a deep breath and leans in closer to the table.

'yeah, he um, he kind of tanked. he's not himself right now. he's skipping chapter meetings, he's missing classes and if he's home, he's barricaded in his room or drinking.' your heart sinks, you're not hungry anymore.

'does he miss me?' you almost feel embarrassed to ask. ethan doesn't find the question pitiful, he's just glad you're talking to him. 'bad.'

it's brutal on your end too, but he sounds worse than you. at least you can get through the emotions of your day to day. you wish you could say you won the breakup but there's no winning.

'has he...'

you don't want to know the answer. you don't want to know the answer. you don't want to know the answer.

you still ask it. 'has he hooked up with anyone else?'

'no.' you believe him because he said it quick and with certainty. you nod slowly, it was the answer you wanted but it still didn't feel good.

'is he still going to the parties?' ethan shakes his head, 'i haven't seen him at any.'

'but he still has you, right?' if you didn't have a small support system you would've lost it ten times over by now. peter doesn't have a whole lot but one ethan overpowers ten mediocre friends.

'i asked if he wanted to talk about it, he said not really, i told him i was there for him and he said thanks. there really hasn't been much else, he's just been really quiet.'

ethan is all peter has, you can't rip that away from him. it would be evil to pollute the one thing he still had, you walked away from him and you shouldn't take his friend with you. plus... how could you move on if you have the peter encyclopedia at your fingertips?

'at least he's not crying.' you end it with a half laugh, half hum. it's sad all around and you're trying to lighten the mood, ethan avoids eye contact and your palms rest on the table.

'ethan.'

ethan's not sure if he is or not. he hasn't heard him but there are some days peter would shuffle out from his room for a water or snack and his eyes were a little red. there was evidence of crying but no tears, so he can't say with certainty but he knows.

'i don't know.'

it made up your mind. you can't do this to peter, you can't sneak around with his friend when he's still trying to mend what went down. you grieved the end of your relationship when you were with him, calling it quits was hard and it still is, but you were prepared. peter was caught off guard and he's still analyzing everything that went down, you know he is.

'so... are we cool?'

'of course we are, you were never a problem, ethan.' he looks relieved, releasing a sharp sigh he rests his hand over his heart and smiles brightly. 'oh thank god, i really missed you. so, are we done with the peter talk? are we ready to schedule our next crochet date?'

oh. he must've misunderstood you.

'no, we're not... we're not hanging out ethan, i just wanted you to know i didn't have any bad blood against you.'

ethan's not a mean person and you've never seen him mad at someone but he's hurt and his arms cross over his chest with a sneer.

'why am i being punished for what he did?'

'you're his best friend, ethan.' it's a statement and fact. it also has everything to do with you ghosting him. 'you were my friend too.' it's a raw confession, you can't look at him when he's this sad.

'i know i was. you were mine too, you still are. it's just different now and i'm not saying we can't be friends, but i think it would be better for everyone if we just took a break from each other right now.'

'it's not better for me. everything is weird right now, my best friend is a shell of the person he used to be and my other one pushed me so far away i was convinced she forgot about me.'

'it feels like i'm being iced out from all sides.' he's much sadder when he adds that on. you feel for him and you hate that you're part of the reason he feels excluded.

'i'm really sorry you feel like that, ethan. i promise it won't be forever, but i have my mind made up and no matter how many times you say please, it won't change.'

you're not sure if things between you became really quiet or if the dining hall doubled in sound. ethan's trying to come up with the right combination of words but nothing's good enough to make you come around on the idea.

If please doesn't work, he might have to force you.

'okay. i'll stop asking you to hang out with me.' he sounds fine with it, you're a little suspicious but he might've just wanted to talk to you, even if it was a formal goodbye.

'but i should go now.' ethan pushes against the edge of the table to slide out from his chair. his words are short but his tone is happy, you stare at him extra hard before nodding.

'i'll see you around?'

ethan sends a wink your way, 'see you later.'

---

the contents of your backpack are all over your bed, your phone nowhere to be found. you retrace your previous steps, you had it at lunch and you swore it was in your outer pocket at the library but after that it's blank.

it was either lost or stolen. your entire life was on it, you don't even have a way of telling everyone you lost it. you recheck your bag two more times even after holding it upside down, then fill it back up while giving yourself pity.

you wallow in it for ten minutes, not even a minute after that your roommate rushes in the door with her own phone held out. 'it's ethan.' you reach for it without thinking but pause before you can fully grab it, ally shakes it towards you. 'he said he has your phone?'

ally's unaware of what's happening and is being as helpful as she could but all you're thinking about is when and how he took it. you press her phone to your ear and ask him where your phone is, he plays dumb.

'i'm not fucking around, ethan. this isn't funny, i need my phone.'

'you left it behind at butler, it's a good thing my pledge found it for you.'

there was absolutely no chance of you leaving it, you clench your jaw and try to restrain yourself from throwing a million mean chirps. he sent someone to rob you.

'you stole my phone? why the fuck would you steal my phone?'

'oh, i didn't steal anything. you should be thankful one of our guys found it.'

'found it in my backpack?'

'did he? hm, interesting. but, hey! it's here and it's safe.'

'great, bring it to me.'

there's a pause on the other line, ethan sucks air in through his teeth. 'sorry, no can do, buddy. looks like you'll have to come get it.' your mouth parts in shock, that was the plan? forcing your hand to hang out with him?

'absolutely not. just meet me at kayte.'

'another no go, my friend. i'm stuck here and so is your phone.'

'you're not stuck anywhere, except in a house with my ex.'

'he's not here.'

'i don't believe you.'

you can picture ethan holding his phone into open air, he sounds far away when he calls out 'parker!' there's a solid ten second gap before he sounds crystal clear again. 'see? no threats.'

'ethan, please.'

'just come over, i promise it'll be fun.'

your eyebrows furrow, he thinks it's a game. 'no, nothing will be fun. this will be a business transaction and i'll be out of there in ten seconds.'

'so it's a yes? you're coming over?' if ethan had a tail, he would be wagging it. his plan worked and you're falling right into his hand. if it was anything else, you'd say fuck it and move on. but ethan took the one thing he can hold over your head and you both know it.

'i don't know how, but this is a rich asshole thing and you're being one.'

ethan ignores you. 'make sure to bring your crochet hooks!'

'i'm not doing that.'

'that's okay! i have a bunch of extras.'

'i mean it, ethan. i'm not hanging around!'

'what's that? sorry, you're breaking up on me. we should finish this conversation in person... okay, bye!'

the call disconnects suddenly. you stare at the black screen and take a deep breath to secure your thoughts before making a trek across campus.

---

'give me my phone.'

ethan ignores you and points to his bedside table, there's two waters and an entire box of grocery store cookies. 'here, come have a snack.' he drops his crochet tub on the edge of his bed. 'i got some new yarn, look at how soft it is.'

everything about it was a ruse.

'im serious, ethan. give me my phone.' he sighs and gestures to his desk, he keeps pulling out hooks. 'it's on my desk.' you search the surface, it's extremely tidy with no hiding place.

'no it's not. where is it?'

'hm... i must've misplaced it. i'll help you look in a second.'

if ethan wants to play dirty, you have no issue getting in the mud. you grab a small succulent from his windowsill and raise it next to your head.

'give me my phone, ethan.'

you're fighting fire with fire, ethan eyes his plant in your hold but keeps a straight face. 'i forgot where i put it.' if that's how he wants to act, you have no choice but to follow through on your actions.

you drop the mini cactus, the pot shatters into a dozen pieces and soil spatters around the floor. ethan falls to his knees and screams 'no!' at the plant guts covering the ground.

'she was a kid, you monster! she did nothing to you!'

you grab the matching pot that was next to it. 'give me my phone or the sister gets it.'

'i refuse to negotiate with a terrorist!' you're breaking him, you can see he's hesitant to refuse your compromise. 'i'm sorry you feel that way.'

the clay pot falls just as quick, it lies in a broken heap next to it's twin. ethan acts like he's been shot, a throaty yelp was produced while he delicately held the cacti in his hands.

the plants were fine, all you did was bust the pots. and while breaking personal property was a bar too low for you, you know he has at least a dozen more just like it in his closet.

you look up at his door to watch it crack open, it's a swift movement but it feels like everything is moving in slow motion. you try to back up as quick as you can but you're cemented to the floor and all you can do is stare at the face coming through the door.

'what the hell is... hey.'

you swallow hard, he looks how ethan said. just a shell of what he once was. all you can stare at is the purple bruise on his cheekbone, your heart pangs when it's reminded it's not your job to care about it anymore.

you point at ethan who suddenly is really quiet.

'he stole my phone.'

peter nods slowly before peering down at the mess around your shoes. 'did he give it back?' you shake your head, you feel like a tattle tail, especially when peter looks down at ethan and tells him to give your phone back.

ethan pulls it out of his pocket and hands it right over, your jaw drops and you frown heavily at him. 'you do it when he asks but not me?'

'he'll beat me up, you'll just unhouse my plants.'

'peter would never beat you up.' therefore, his excuse is pointless. ethan disagrees, his eyebrows almost hit his hairline with how confident you are. 'over you? he'd fucking kill me.'

you wait for peter to tag in, you know something is brewing in his mind. something like 'damn right i would,' and you'd follow up with something about how he's actually a big baby and he'd say something like 'only for you' and you'd... but that's not real life anymore and he stays silent.

he's probably confused and a little hurt you're hidden away in ethan's room, you feel the need to apologize even though you're not sure why you're sorry.

'i'm sorry, peter. i tried telling ethan that we should take a break on our friendship but he won't let it go.' you threw him under the bus in a second and you don't care, from the looks of it neither does ethan.

'you can be friends with ethan. you should be friends with ethan.' it's the first time actually talking with him since the break up and it feels weird, he's too formal. he's being kind and reserved, he's pliant and you need some bounce back to feel normal.

'you always said i needed to unfriend him when we were together.' you might've tossed a taunt at him, you wanted a reaction. you wanted your peter and throwing the break up in his face might do it.

it works, his eyebrows furrow while his stature hardens. 'i said a lot of shit i didn't mean when we were together, trouble.' you point at him, your tone ice cold. 'don't.' you refuse to acknowledge the small spread of warmth at the nickname.

'you like ethan, ethan likes you. you guys are good friends, why should i fuck that up? i ruined enough shit for you. the least i could do is give you ethan.'

ethan could speak up to make a joke about how it's like he's a child of divorce or that he's a person, not a piece of property but it feels like you're both having a moment that needs to happen. even if there was a weird energy he was picking up on.

your eyes narrow, he's doing this for reasons beyond being a good person. you know him well enough to know that he has something up his sleeve.

'i can think of something else i'd rather you give me.'

you can see the heat brewing behind his eyes, you got him right where you want him. peter uses his serious voice, the one he uses instead of raising his voice but still demands your attention.

'we're not talking about this here.'

those two sentences just told ethan that whatever you were insinuating was what ended the relationship and peter's very upset stance solidifies his opinion.

'oh, trust me. you're not talking about it at all.'

'we're not unpacking this in front of ethan. i'm on my way out anyway, hang out with your friend.' peter tries to step past you but you circle around to step up with him and block his exit, his chest brushes yours for a second and it takes everything in you not to wrap your arms around him and sink your face into the body you once found homely.

'liar.' he doesn't want you to hang around and he wasn't leaving. you're met with a heavy sigh. 'yeah, probably.' you can't stop yourself, you lightly poke his chest and peter's head drops so he can watch your hold stick longer than it should've.

'be honest.'

'you might be ready to cut the cord but i'm not.' he'd rather keep you in his life as a tie through ethan no matter how sore it was. if you had ethan you'd never fully lose him and that kind of promise is the only thing he wants right now.

'neither am i.'

peter stares at ethan, 'shut up.' he's shunned into silence. you're starting to understand why peter said he wasn't going to unpack anything here, you look down at your hands and play with a ring on your finger.

you think peter wants to talk about it civilly but you don't think either of you are ready to do it yet without hurting either person's feelings even more than they already are.

but having ethan around is a nice way to keep peter close without damaging your healing.

'okay.' you take a deep breath and glance at ethan, who's still pouting on the floor keeping his eye line from peter. 'i guess we can hang out.' he lights up in a second, looking between you and peter in case either one of you vetoes it.

neither of you do.

'sweet! i have to repot these but i have some new templets in my basket, so if you want to pick one out and start i'll just catch up later.' you nervously look towards peter and immediately dart away when you make eye contact.

turning your back on him slightly, you feel a little better. there's something about him that makes you feel jittery, like when you were the first couple times you met up with him alone.

'i don't think being here is a good idea, maybe we should just stick to my dorm?'

'why? parker said he was fine with us hanging out.'

'because maybe parker was being nice and doesn't actually want to see me here?'

peter can speak for himself, and he'll use the correct name. in case you forgot. 'peter, is just fine with you being here. the only sucky part is knowing you hate me.'

you think he might be baiting you now but you can't help but set the record straight. 'okay, hold on now.' you speak very clearly towards him, you're not about to let him twist your words.

'i am a hundred different emotions towards you right now but i don't hate you. i think you know that, parker.'

'okay,' it's full of sarcasm. 'you have a goodnight, trouble. i'll see you later.' you bite your tongue and let him leave, if you didn't, you'd be making subtle shots at each other all night.

'your best friend is a dick.' the second you're alone. ethan shrugs, 'you were into that at one point.'

'no, no. if we're going to be friends you only ever sympathize with me about him, you're not allowed to bring up anything i did in the relationship.'

ethan has a pile of soil and a pile of shattered clay, you feel obligated to help him clean up. 'and for clarification, i'm supposed to sympathize with your ex boy toy when i'm with him?'

'absolutely not. you're on team me at all times. shame him if you have to.' the broken pieces land in his desk trash can. 'is this where i have to remind you he'd kick my ass?'

oh, you missed and loathe this so much.

'you're so whiny, clean quieter.'

'is it too late for you to ghost me again?'

'that's it. clean up your own mess, i'm going to make a crochet snake and not because it's the easiest but because that's how you're acting.'

ethan snorts and nods towards his wicked wicker basket of yarn, you're already eyeing different greens. 'be sure to make one for my twin next door.'

you do.

you leave it outside peter's door and while ethan never confirmed it, he knows you're the one who made it.

and it sleeps on his nightstand next to him every night. 

[eatmyass-x]

“What do you mean you didn’t bring the fob?” The bubble of Wei Ying’s bright pink bubblegum pops as he speaks.

“I mean I didn’t bring the fob,” Nie Huaisang shrugs.

“So then how did we get back in?” It’s three o’clock in the morning and they’re standing in the foyer of Jiang Cheng’s fancy apartment building, in front of an elevator that cannot be operated without a security fob. Their arms are laden with snacks and Wei Ying is chewing five different flavours of bubblegum together. It’s an interesting combination.

“The door was open.”

Wei Ying turns back to look at the main entrance. It was open when they stepped out of the building to go hunt for the unhealthiest, ungodliest snacks the local 24-hour convenience store could provide, and had remained open this whole time, right until the two of them stepped back inside.

“We'll just have to use the stairs then.”

“Jiang Cheng lives on the fourteenth floor,” Nie Huaisang screeches in alarm.

“Exactly.” Wei Ying pops his gum again. “Easy peasy!” But when he tries the door that leads to the stairwell, the door does not open. So he tries again. And again. But the door refuses to budge. “Don’t tell me we need a fob to use the stairs too.”

Beside him Nie Huaisang taps on a sign with a well manicured fingernail and reads, “The stairs cannot be accessed without a fob.”

“Fuck.” Wei Ying squints at the empty security desk. “Jiang Cheng will have to come down to let us in.”

“He’s going to be so pissed off,” Nie Huaisang says, but takes out his phone to message Jiang Cheng anyway.

Several minutes pass as they wait for Jiang Cheng to respond. Wei Ying watches as Nie Huaisang taps irriatedly at his phone, his frown getting deeper and deeper. “What is it?”

“He hasn’t read any of my messages, but they’re all going through so I know his phone is on.”

“Maybe he’s in the shower or taking a shit, or something.” Although Wei Ying remembers Jiang Cheng complaining about the time of night and how much he wanted to sleep. “Try ringing him instead.”

Nie Huaisang nods and puts his phone to his ear. Wei Ying leans against the wall and waits.

And waits.

Eventually it becomes more than clear that Jiang Cheng is not going to pick up. “He’s probably fallen asleep,” Wei Ying groans and slides down the wall to slump onto the ground, nearly choking on his bubblegum. He spits the now discoloured lump out into a tissue with a grimace.

Nie Huaisang follows him down and buries his head in his knees. “What do we do now?”

“Break in?” Wei Ying suggests, and gets a disparaging look from Nie Huaisang in response. “What? I could totally break in! Remember when—”

“Yes, I remember,” Nie Huaisang cuts him off. “I know for certain that you’d be able to break in. But I’m really not in the mood to get arrested tonight, Wei Ying. Please.”

“Well, what else can we do?” He’s already eyeing the security system, thinking up ways he might be able to bypass it. A packet of gummies hits him square in the head. “Hey!” Wei Ying scowls at Nie Huaisang and tears into the packet. “If only Jiang Cheng had a girlfriend so we could call her to come let us in instead,” he says around a mouthful of gummy mush.

“Yeah, if only pigs could fly,” Nie Huaisang scoffs.

Wei Ying gasps, “I’m going to tell him you said that!”

“Right now I wouldn’t care if you told him I fucked his mom. As long as he wakes up and lets us in!”

“I’m going to tell her you said that,” Wei Ying tells him with a grimace, unable to stop images of Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng’s mom getting it on popping into his head.

“She’ll fuck us both up, and you know it.”

“That’s if we ever make it out of here alive. This whole building is a death trap!” Wei Ying gestures aggressively around the place. “What if there was a fire? Or the emergency services needed to get in? Or an axe murderer was chasing us? What would we do then?” He puts on an overly saccharine voice and bats his eyelashes, “Oh sorry, Mr Murderer. Please give me a moment while I go and fetch my fob.”

Nie Huaisang grabs the packet of gummies from him. “Rich people don’t give a fuck about safety regulations,” he shrugs. “The building has a gym, pool and a sauna.”

“A sauna?” Wei Ying perks up. “Why didn’t Jiang Cheng tell me?”

“Because he's a hater.”

“That he is.” Wei Ying fluffs up the large family pack of chips they’d bought and places it on the ground to use as a pillow. The marble floor is cold and hard beneath his outstretched body, but otherwise the building is mostly warm. He closes his eyes and settles in. He’s slept in much worse places than this.

“Are you really going to sleep here?” Nie Huaisang sounds appalled.

Wei Ying cracks one eye open. “You won’t let me break in, so what other choice do I have?”

After staring at him morosely for several long moments, Nie Huaisang sighs and balls his jacket up to make a pillow for himself. “Well, at least we’re not trapped in your apartment building. The rats would have eaten us alive.”

“They’d be better company than you,” Wei Ying huffs.

Instead of responding, Nie Huaisang sits back up and punches his balled up jacket several times. “This pillow is shit.”

Wei Ying’s own makeshift pillow crunches loudly under his head. “Should we sixty-nine instead?”

“What?!” Nie Huaisang shrieks, his face rapidly draining of all colour.

“As in, you sleep on my ass and I sleep on yours. Although I’m not quite sure how it’ll work.” He uses his hands to try and figure out the positions they would need to be in. “And my ass is way juicier—”

Nie Huaisang interrupts him with a gasp. “Brilliant idea!”

“What, sixty-nineing?”

“No.” He gives Wei Ying a disgusted look. “Using grindr.”

“What?!” Now it’s Wei Ying’s turn to shriek. “This is not the time nor the place for hookups!” He looks around at the confined space of the foyer in distress. “Are you planning to have sex in front of me?”

“No, you idiot,” Nie Huaisang says, pulling his phone out once again. “I’m gonna try and use it to find someone who lives in this building so that they can let us in.”

“That’s a great idea!” Wei Ying crawls over and makes grabby hands at him. “Huaisang, I could kiss you on the mouth!”

Nie Huaisang pushes him away. “You’re not my type, Wei Ying. How many times do I have to tell you?”

Wei Ying laughs, “Fuck off, I’m everyone’s type.” But his laughter quickly fizzles out when he sees the look on Nie Huaisang’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“My phone just died.” He flips it around to show Wei Ying his phone screen; completely dark and unresponsive.

Wei Ying takes Nie Huaisang’s jacket, wraps it around his own neck and says, “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t end it all right now.”

“Oh, don’t be overdramatic.” He waves a hand dismissively at Wei Ying. “We can just use your phone instead.”

The jacket falls limply out of Wei Ying’s hands. “But I’m not gay!”

“I’m not asking you to suck dick, just download the app.” When he makes no move to comply, Nie Huaisang snatches Wei Ying’s phone out of his hand and downloads the app for him. Wei Ying watches with terror as the unfamiliar black and yellow icon appears on his homescreen. It takes just a few clicks before he’s got a profile up and running for Wei Ying to use. “Here.”

Wei Ying takes his phone back from him with a visibly shaky hand. “What if they want sex?”

“Then you give them sex,” Nie Huaisang shrugs.

“What!”

“I’m just kidding.” He huddles close so that they can both go through the app together.

Wei Ying has no idea how grindr even works so he lets Nie Huaisang take the reins. But that doesn’t save him from having to see a throbbing hard penis in high definition right off the bat. He yells in fright and nearly tosses his phone into the wall.

“Don’t be a baby,” Nie Huaisang laughs. “It’s just a dick!”

“Yeah, well—” Wei Ying splutters. “Find someone less… aroused!”

Nie Huaisang snickers at him and then disparagingly narrates his way through a few profiles until he comes to a stop. “Oh, this guy looks normal. Message him.”

“Why should I—” he begins, but the rest of the words immediately die in his throat when he lays eyes on the profile. Fuck. The man on his phone screen is beautiful. Face of a movie star and built like an underwear model. Wei Ying can’t make himself look away from his golden eyes, or the terribly low-slung waistband of his sweatpants.

“Earth to Wei Ying!” Nie Huaisang punches him in the arm. “Message the guy. I’m pretty sure he lives somewhere in this building. He might be able to let us in.”

Wei Ying almost tells Nie Huaisang to message him himself and then realises that he doesn’t want that. For some strange, inexplicable reason, he wants to talk to the guy himself. Wei Ying swallows to wet his dry throat and croaks, “He’s too… He’s probably a catfish.”

“Who cares? It’s not like you’re looking to marry him,” Nie Huaisang rolls his eyes.

Wei Ying’s cheeks turn embarrassingly red. “What if he’s an axe murderer?” But he’s already typing out a message.

WY (03:55): Heyyy

“That’d be kinda hot, if you ask me,” Nie Huaisang says, biting his lip. Wei Ying gives him a disgusted look, but when he sees the guy’s picture again he can’t help but imagine him wielding an axe and covered in blood and woah. Wei Ying feels a bit dizzy.

Nie Huaisang reads the message he’s sent and nudges him. “Why are you messaging him like you do want dick after all? Tell him straight up that we’re trapped and need help.”

Wei Ying scowls at him but does as told.

WY (03:55): Do you live in lotus apartments?

WY (03:56): This might be a bit weird but my friend and I are trapped in the foyer on the ground floor cos we forgot to bring a fob

WY (03:56): Pls can u help us 🥺

Several long minutes pass but they don’t get a response from the guy, even though he’s definitely seen the messages. Wei Ying can’t help the pang of disappointment he feels.

“Maybe he thinks you’re lying to get into the building, or something. Just try someone else,” Nie Huaisang suggests.

But Wei Ying doesn’t want to do that, so instead he snaps a picture of himself looking pleadingly up into the camera, eyes wide and lips pouted, the same look that always convinces Jiang Yanli to give him an extra helping of dessert. Then he takes a quick picture of Nie Huaisang where he’s once again slumped across the floor with his jacket over his face, the foyer easily recognisable in the background.

WY (04:06): I promise I’m not lying look

WY (04:06): [2 images attached.]

WY (04:06): PLEASE 🥹

WY (04:07): We’ve literally been stuck here for over an hour

He’s still typing when a blue reply bubble pops up on screen.

LZ (04:07): Coming.

WY (04:07): What?

WY (04:07): To help me?

WY (04:08): TO HELP ME RIGHT????

Wei Ying’s momentary relief quickly turns into panic when he doesn’t get any further replies from the guy. He stands and starts to pace around, ignoring Nie Huaisang’s huffing. When the light above the elevator lights up, indicating that someone is on their way down, he knows he should feel relieved that the guy is coming to help him, and not anything else. But instead he feels jittery all over. He’s not sure what would be worse, if the guy really is a catfish and looks nothing at all like his pictures, or if he looks exactly like them. The elevator pings. Wei Ying wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans and turns to face the metal doors as they slide open.

The man that steps out of the elevator is the farthest thing from a catfish. Six-foot-something tall and bathed in the warm glow of the foyer lights, he’s somehow even more attractive in person than he was in his pictures.

Wei Ying feels his breath catch in his throat. “Wow. Fuck.” The words spill out of his lips unbidden and Wei Ying has to slap his hands over his mouth to keep it shut.

The man slowly looks him up and down, amused. “Likewise.” His voice is deep and gravelly.

Wei Ying’s whole body heats up. “I mean— You’re not a catfish. You’re…” Beautiful. Breathtaking. A dream. Every single word that comes to mind cannot be voiced out loud.

“Lan Zhan,” the man offers.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying repeats the name. It makes itself at home on his tongue. He licks his lips and sticks his hand out. “Wei Ying.”

Lan Zhan looks even more amused as he takes Wei Ying’s proffered hand. On anyone else the look might come across as cocky, over confident, but on him it just looks good. Instead of shaking Wei Ying’s hand he gives it a light squeeze, thumb stroking over the back of Wei Ying’s hand, and makes no move to let go. Wei Ying does not want him to.

“Ahem!” Nie Huaisang coughs loudly from behind.

Wei Ying reluctantly turns to look at him, still not letting go of Lan Zhan’s hand. Nie Huaisang has gathered all their snacks from the ground and is tapping his foot impatiently. He’s almost invisible behind all the junk food in his arms but he still manages to look irritated. Wei Ying rolls his eyes. “Thank you so much for coming to help us, Lan Zhan. We would’ve had to spend the whole night down here if it wasn’t for you.” His palm is so warm and large against Wei Ying’s. “You’re a saviour!”

“There is no need to thank me.” He tilts his head towards the elevator. “Which floor do you need?”

“Fourteen. My brother—” The word feels much lighter, easier than it used to, “—lives here. He’s probably fast asleep in his room right now with his phone on fucking silent. Me and Huaisang went out to get snacks and forgot to bring the spare fob with us.” He follows Lan Zhan into the elevator when the doors reopen, Nie Huaisang trailing along behind them. “What would we have done without you, Lan Zhan?” He bats his eyelashes. Just a little.

“Oh, I know you,” Nie Huaisang chimes.

Wei Ying doesn’t like the sound of that at all. Does he mean he’s come across Lan Zhan on grindr before and hooked up with him? He whips around to frown at Nie Huaisang and surreptitiously makes a very rude gesture to inquire whether the two of them have had relations before. A dick sucking gesture.

And then he looks up and realises that all four walls of the elevator have mirrors on them, and Lan Zhan has just seen him make that exact gesture. Wei Ying wants to die.

“No,” Nie Huaisang shakes his head. “We’ve just bumped into each other a couple of times when I’ve come to visit Jiang Cheng.”

“Oh.” Wei Ying turns back to face Lan Zhan with a sheepish smile, running his hand through his hair. “I see.”

Lan Zhan’s pretty eyes track the movement of his hand. “I have not seen you around before.”

“Yeah, um.” Wei Ying eyes the phone in Lan Zhan’s hand. He figures he has to explain himself now. “I’m not, I’m not really—” But the rest of his sentence feels stuck in his throat. It had been perfectly easy to yell, ‘I’m not gay!’ at Nie Huaisang but now Wei Ying struggles. “I’m not on grindr,” he says instead. “I only downloaded it to find someone who could let us into the building. I don’t—” and this bit feels important for some reason. “I don’t do hookups.”

“Mn.” The intensity of Lan Zhan’s gaze does not waver. “But I meant that I have not seen you around in the building before.”

“Oh!” Wei Ying wants to punch himself in the head. “Of course. Yes, I— My brother. Jiang Cheng. We’re good now, but we fell out a few years back. So this is my first time visiting his place.”

“That explains it,” Lan Zhan nods. “I would have remembered a face like yours.”

Wei Ying’s heart does something funny in his chest.

“Can someone please hit the button?” Nie Huaisang groans.

Wei Ying nearly jumps out of his skin. He’d forgotten there was someone else in the elevator with them. It’s impossible to look away from Lan Zhan, despite Nie Huaisang’s huffing and moaning. Like there’s a magnet beneath the surface of his skin, somewhere inside his ribcage, pulling him towards the man.

The elevator hardly even jolts as it begins its ascent upwards, but Wei Ying stumbles anyway, a step and a half closer to Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan steadies him with a hand around his waist, warm through the thin, threadbare cotton of his two sizes too small t-shirt. Wei Ying looks up at him through his eyelashes, his own hand coming to rest on Lan Zhan’s chest, sturdy and firm under his tentative fingers.

“Which floor do you live on, Lan Zhan?” he asks. His voice comes out low, murmured in the air between them.

“Thirteen.” Lan Zhan’s hand slowly travels further along his waist, slipping just slightly underneath his shirt.

“Right below us!” Wei Ying gasps. The gasp is less to do with Lan Zhan’s words and more to do with the touch of his hand. “Lan Zhan…” he breathes, watching Lan Zhan watch him chew at his bottom lip. “Do you think it’s fate?”

“Maybe.” There is laughter in Lan Zhan’s eyes, but it doesn’t feel mocking. It feels indulgent, good enough to drown in.

“Yo, what the fuck…” Somewhere far away Nie Huaisang sounds like he’s drowning in disbelief. Wei Ying has never found it easier to ignore him.

The elevator pings as it comes to a stop, breaking Wei Ying out of his reverie. Lan Zhan follows them out onto Jiang Cheng’s floor to let them through the final set of doors with his fob. Nie Huaisang is quick to push past them and make his way into Jiang Cheng’s unlocked apartment, muttering something distinctly homophobic under his breath and slamming the door shut behind him.

Wei Ying on the other hand, loiters in the hallway, unwilling to part ways with Lan Zhan. He doesn’t know how to draw this out any further without saying anything, but for the first time in his whole life words are evading him entirely. When he looks up at Lan Zhan, he finds him already looking back at Wei Ying, still as indulgent, still as beautiful.

“It’s not my apartment or I would invite you inside…” he finally says, mustering up as much courage as he can. His intention could not be any clearer. He can feel as his face heats up with a vivid blush.

“It is late—”

“Of course.” Wei Ying’s heart sinks. “Yes, of course. Sorry…” he laughs awkwardly. Lan Zhan had only come to help them and here was Wei Ying, practically throwing himself at the man. “Thank you so much for helping us, Lan Zhan. I won’t keep you any longer.” He thinks about getting Lan Zhan a box of chocolates or something of the sort tomorrow to thank him properly for his help. At least it’ll give him a reason to see him again. He really hopes it won’t come across as too desperate. “Thank—”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan interrupts his awkward rambling. “What I mean to say is that nothing will be open at this time of night. Will you let me take you out tomorrow?”

“Out?” Wei Ying’s mind screeches to a halt.

“For lunch,” Lan Zhan says. “Or dinner, if you’d prefer.”

“Oh. You…” Wei Ying blinks. Hope bubbles all through his body and pours out of his big, stupid mouth, “So you’re not going to just hit it and quit it?”

“No. Not unless that is what you’re looking for?” Lan Zhan quirks a brow up in question.

“No,” Wei Ying is quick to correct. “No, no. A date.” And it is with no small amount of astonishment that Wei Ying realises he is feeling shy. Something he has never, ever felt before. “A date, right?” he asks hesitantly.

“A date,” Lan Zhan confirms with a smile.

[darknight3904]

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕽𝖆𝖈𝖊

ᴀᴇᴍᴏɴᴅ ᴛᴀʀɢᴀʀʏᴇɴ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ᴏᴄ! ᴛᴀʀɢᴀʀʏᴇɴ

ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴘᴀʀᴛ / ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ /ᴍʏ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

Guess who's back? Me, and the main plot line. No more fluff chapters, bitches.

Rhaella is 18, Aemond 17

132 AC

The announcement of Lord Corlys' accident was sudden. It was even more sudden that Vaemond, his brother, was coming to Kings Landing to challenge the succession. To her own disappointment, Lucerys' legitimacy would once again be called into question.

Rhaella's trip to Highgarden was but three days away. Most of her things had been packed and her room was rather bare. She hadn't spoken to Aemond much recently. He had avoided her as if that would stop Rhaella's impending doom. It was as if through avoidance they could remain in the youth they were desperately clinging to.

"Might you know when Princess Rhaenrya's family will arrive? I wish to go for a short flight but I want to be able to greet my cousins." She asked her handmaiden.

"I have heard word that their ship was spotted in the Blackwater, My Lady." She responded as she finished lacing the blue dress that adorned Rhaella's body.

"My flight will have to wait then." She sighed, they'd be here soon, "Might you fetch Prince Aemond for me? We have not spoken recently."

"Yes, My Lady."

Aemond was in perfect form today. He motions were fluid and Cole was having a hard time holding him back. The past fortnight of practice was paying off. He felt bad some nights, knowing he had left Rhaella waiting in the library for him. But, he could not be around her now, knowing she was shipping off for Highgarden of all places. That Lord Tyrell's disgusting pig of a son would marry her. His jealousy would well up in him whenever he saw her. He wasn't entirely sure what he was feeling was normal. The possessiveness? He'd never felt this before, not even over Vhagar.

"Something on your mind, My Prince?" Cole asked as his sword met Aemond's again.

"No." Aemond lied

"I can offer insight if you speak to me," Cole says, pushing against Aemomd.

"Why? So you can tell my mother?" Aemond seethes, thinking of how Cole spilled everything he heard and saw to Alicent Hightower.

"Prince Aemond!" The shrill voice of a handmaiden catches his ears

"What?"

Aemond came to her reeking of sweat and the training yard.

"You interrupted my morning session." He said as he entered without knocking

"You have been avoiding me," Rhaella says, ignoring the way he drops sweat-soaked gloves onto her table.

"You've been avoiding me." Aemond pointed at her

Where did he get the audacity to act like this? So brazen.

"You have spent the last fortnight training and flying like you do not know of our prearranged time in the library together," Rhaella said

"Maybe I don't want to spend my days reading." Aemond dismissed

Liar.

"You lie, Aemond." Rhaella sighed, "I expect to see you in the library after tonight's supper. I have found an interesting book on Old Valyria, you will enjoy it."

"I just said I do not wish to be in the library with you. It is-"

Aemond is interrupted by the doors to Rhaella's chamber being pushed open.

"Princess Rhaenrya, Prince Daemon, and their family have arrived. The queen wants both of you in the throne room for the hearing." A nameless errand boy says before dashing back out.

"The library." Rhaella says, standing to brush past Aemond, "Tonight."

Rhaella can hear him grumble as she passes.

Aemond arrives in the throne room nearly fifteen minutes after Rhaella does. She takes in his appearance and presumes he must've run off to fix his hair and cover the scent of sweat with something.

Otto Hightower's voice fills the room as Rhaella's eyes fall on Jacaerys and Lucerys who have grown up since she has last seen them. Dark messy hair sits atop their hair and Jacaery's dark eyes follow her own as she takes him in. He offers a small smile and a nod of his head. Rhaella returns it and can't help but notice how handsome he has become. While he did not bear Targaryen coloring, his facial features certainly held the sharpness of a Targaryen prince.

Vaemond Velaryon has stepped into the center of the room now. He speaks of being Lord Corlys' closest blood. Rhaella can feel the eyes of the room turn to Lucerys as Rhaenrya speaks, affirming her son's position as heir. On her right, Aemond shifts his weight from one foot to the other, letting out a sigh like he was bored.

"Cunt."

Aemond's whispered voice falls on her ears. She isn't sure who he's speaking of now. Perhaps Vaemond or Lucerys? Or maybe Rhaenrya who is getting ready to make her counter argument. Or perhaps the insult is directed at Daemon who, much to Rhaella's dismay hasn't stopped smirking from his spot next to Rhaenrya.

"My Lord Hand, " Rhaenrya begins, "It was but twenty years ago that my father stood in this hall and named me-"

The sound of heavy doors being opened set a lull over the proceedings.

Kingsguard enters the room followed by a sight Rhaella hasn't seen in years, the King, walking.

"King Viserys of House Targaryen. First of His Name, King of the Andals and the Roynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm."

King Viserys slowly makes his way to the Iron Throne. When he finally reaches it and dismisses Otto Hightower, he is exhausted. Rhaella can hear his heavy breathing echoing about the throne room.

The loud clatter of metal hitting stone has Rhaella turning around to see what has happened. The golden crown that King Jaeherys had once worn has fallen to the floor. She half expects the queen or Rhaenrya to pick it up but her father beats them all to it. Rhaella watches as the man who she had deemed selfish and a cold-hearted fool, helps his brother up the steps to the throne. Daemon places the crown on Viserys' head before returning to his spot. The tension in the room is heavy on her chest as everyone awaits Visery's word.

"I must admit my confusion." Viserys says "Why are petitions being heard over a settled succession?"

Rhaella looks over at Vaemond Velaryon who has anger swimming in his eyes.

"I believe the only person who could offer better insight into Lord Corlys' wishes is the Princess Rhaenys."

Rhaella watches as she comes forward to speak. She hasn't seen her since she threw her out of her room for knowing about what happened to Lady Rhea.

"I have always supported Lord Corlys' wish that Driftmark pass through Ser Laenor to his trueborn son, Lucerys Velaryon. His mind never changed, nor did my support." Rhaenys says

Rhaella has to contain the glee that is on her face at Lucerys' secured position.

"Princess Rhaenrya has just informed me of her decision to marry Prince Jacaerys and Prince Lucerys to their cousins Baela and Rhaena." Rhaenys says, " A proposal to which I agreed."

Rhaella looks at her half sisters who are no longer little girls who have tangles in their hair and stuffed dolls tucked under their arms. They have grown up, Long silver hair much like her own tumble down their backs and their pretty faces are staring back at her.

"The matter is settled. Again." Viserys says "I reaffirm Prince Lucerys of House Velaryon as heir to Driftmark."

"You break law and centuries of tradition to name your daughter as heir." Vaemond suddenly speaks "Yet you presume to tell me who gets to inherit the name Velaryon? No...I will not allow it."

"Allow it?' Viserys says "Do not forget yourself Vaemond."

"That is no true Velaryon!" Vaemond suddenly shouts, whirling around to point at Lucerys.

Rhaella's eyes jump to Rhaenrya and her family.

"He is no nephew of mine." Vaemond declares

"Lucerys is my true-born grandson. You are no more the second son of Driftmark." Viserys affirms

"You may run your house as you see fit." Vaemond says, turning back to the King," But you will not decide the future of mine. I will not see it ended on the account of this..."

Vaemond has turn to face Lucerys again, a pause in his sentence, like he can't say what he wants to.

"Say it."

Daemon's whisper reaches Rhaella's ears and she looks at her father who is smirking at Vaemond.

"Her children are...Bastards!"

The volume of Vaemond's voice sends echos around the throne room. Rhaella jumps at his tone. not expecting it at all.

"And she...is...a whore."

Rhaella gasps along with the rest of the court. She sees even Queen Alicent shake her head in disapproval.

"I...will have your tongue for that." Viserys suddenly says, pulling the dagger he keeps at his side out.

It happens in just barely a second. Daemon is on the move and makes a clean cut to Vaemond's head with Dark Sister. Rhaella jumps toward Aemond who pulls her close to him as Vaemond's body hits the ground.

"He can keep his tongue." Daemon says looking down at a now very dead Vaemond Velaryon.

"Disarm him!" Otto Hightower yells

"No need," Daemon says, wiping the blood from his sword and returning to Rhaenrya.

Aemond's arms are still holding Rhaella tightly but his eye is fixed on the sight in front of them. On the bloody corpse of Vaemond Velaryon. On Daemon Targaryen and his sword called Dark Sister.

Next Part

Guess who's still alive? Me. I didn't die of jetlag. I had a nice vacation. Minus the whole getting trapped in the airport and getting delayed two extra days...anyway I have returned.

I saw the Deadpool and Wolverine movie yesterday. In conclusion, Wade Wilson is hot af and Wolverine is so shredded my jaw was on the floor. Hugh Jackman the man that you are...

Here's some fun pictures of my trip, I kinda wish I could've taken the chickens home...

Comment below to join the taglist. (The taglist is not by chapter, once added, you will remain there unless you ask to be removed.)

Taglist:

@caspianobsessed

@starryhiraeth

@franzelt

@holymusicalmothman

@koobratzy

@schelfinser

@mizuki80

@flusteredmoonn

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@simp-sundae-06 @truly-abysmal @spacexdrago

[octuscle]

Fuck man using this app whilst I'm currently so horny might be a mistake but please tell me this thing has a forced growth feature. I'm so bored of being small already I just want to become so fucking huge the only thing I can fit in is under wear, skin tight gym shorts at the most. I want my stench and B.O to instantly fill up a room and make lesser men fall to their knees.

I just wanna be forced to become a young insanely huge freakshow of a bodybuilder.

RIPPPPPP! In the middle of lunch, the seam of your jacket rips open across your back. The whole restaurant is looking at you. You barely look up from your plate, on which instead of a coq au vin there are now six boiled chicken breasts with rice. You struggle to free yourself from the shreds of your jacket without stopping to gulp down your food.

RIPPPPPP! Your biceps burst the sleeves of your shirt. With your mouth full, you mumble something like "sorry" and just rip the remnants of the sleeves off the rest of the shirt. You eat your food like a pig. The glass of Merlot is now a canister of protein shake. Your colleagues and business partners stare at you with open mouths. You pause for a moment and do a double biceps pose. Fuck, the bushes under your armpits stink like a horse stable. You take a deep breath and grin. PIIIIING! Two of your shirt buttons can no longer withstand your pectoral muscles as you inhale and fly through the air like projectiles. You stand up with difficulty, apologize again with your mouth full and spit food scraps around. On the way to the toilet, you let loose a huge protein fart. A quick look in the mirror… You can throw away the shirt. For the rest of lunch it must still hold out with torn sleeves and unbuttoned. While you first fart and then burp even louder, your boss comes in. Holds you a telling off, what that was for an impossible behavior on your part. He asks you to leave the restaurant discreetly through the back exit. And to report to him in the office tomorrow morning.You put your hand to your temple in an "Aye Sir". And you fart again as a farewell.

Your fancy Porsche convertible groans as you squeeze your body into the tight seat. Fuck, the car is much too small for you. The remnants of the clothes you're wearing on your body are much too small for you. You desperately need a change of clothes. In your gym there is a small corner where they sell fitness clothes. And the gym is nearby, so you drive the car there. The receptionist stares at you. This is actually a posh place for yuppies and influencers who want to keep fit. Not for the big lads like you. You ask if they have anything to wear in your size. The lady asks you if you speak English. You repeat your question with a heavy Russian accent.

The only thing they have here in your size are shorts that are frighteningly tight on your thighs. At least there are shoes and socks in size 14. You look good. You do another pose in front of the mirror. The passing visitors of the gym hold their noses. You smell your armpit again. Good honest pumper sweat. You want to go to the training area when you are asked for your membership card. You search for your wallet in the rags that used to be your suit pants. There it is. But Anatol Ivanovich is not a member here. Anatol is a member of Gold's Gym.

You love your Jeep Wrangler Rubicon. A car like you. Massive and bursting with power. And fortunately well ventilated for any passengers. As you roll into the parking lot in front of the gym, you and your car stick out. This is certainly a place for the big guys. But you're the biggest of them.

After the third set on the leg press, you take a deep breath. Yes, this is what a gym must smell like. Like burps. Like protein farts. Like sweat. Like testosterone. Just like you!

Found the pic of your new you @muscleaddictza

[shadowbriar]

Sirius Black - The Lion and The Lamb

Pairing : Sirius Black x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 5.1k Warning : One curse word. I'm so bad at this I don't think there's any other? Synopsis : Sirius' plot of pairing her with Remus has finally come to a success yet he finds it hard to find the joy in their relationship. Notes : Post no 3 for my 1 Year Anniversary Celebration. This story is a little bit all over the place, I'm sorry for that. Don't forget to fill the form here if you'd like to be tagged for my future works. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕ Sirius Black's Masterlist click here. Taglist : @jsjcue @ell0ra-br3kk3r @sofiacblair @when-you-cant-think-of-anything

It is only logical that someone like her, a bright witch with the wittiest mind and cleverest brain, would ever fall for someone who’s equally as brilliant. Someone who excels in his classes, despite the fact that he has a troublesome condition that restrains him from having a full attendance in his classes, is still being appointed as prefect due to his capability and proficient skill set. It’s simple logic, isn’t it? Smart people are attracted to smart people, the same way funny people are attracted to other funny people.

At least, that is the rule Sirius Black is believing in.

For years he has tried to play the matchmaker for Remus and her. ‘Accidentally’ pairing them up for school projects, ‘accidentally’ forgetting their group study session so the two of them would be left alone, and ‘accidentally’ always making her sit next to Remus in every chance presented. Sirius was determined to get them together. He would always argue that they just haven’t noticed the chemistry they have, how everyone in the room could tell that these two are in love with each other. Though James would always deny and say that no one except Sirius would see this so-called chemistry, Sirius has already made it his life mission to make them a couple.

“Truly, I love Padfoot but his antics on pairing us up is starting to get under my skin.” Remus grumbles as he walks with her through Hogsmeade. They were supposed to meet up at the Three Broomstick, her and the rest of the Marauders, but after an hour of waiting, the two knew that this is just another stunt Sirius’ pulled for them “Once we get back to the castle I will make him transform into his animagus form and turn him into a fur hat, I swear it.”

She chuckles, “I’d love to witness that.”

The two continue their walk until Remus halts all of a sudden, stopping his pace with an expression she couldn’t decipher. It was as if he was thinking deeply about something that is struggling to burst forth from his lips. His brows furrow and it’s taking a huge amount of self control in herself to not straighten them with her thumb.

“I have an idea that might make you murder me,” He says to her “But this is worth the shot, at least for me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Are you not tired of this? Of Padfoot always setting us up like this?” Remus questions, his arms now fold in front of his chest “Because I am. We can hardly hangout with the others anymore and don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with you, Love, it’s just that—”

“Sirius,” She cuts, nodding in understanding with a small laughter “I get it. What do you propose?”

Remus shrugs, “Well, since the boy’s so determined to get us together, why don’t we just.. Get together?”

“Get together?” She repeats with a raised brow “As in.. Date each other?”

“Yeah, precisely that.”

She stares at him with appalled eyes. Remus seems adamant with his proposal, his tone is firm and his body language shows 100% certainty, yet her mind still couldn’t process his words properly. The idea of them dating would be as logical as flying pigs. They are the true definition of platonic love. Dating Remus would feel like painting the Black Lake pink with a makeup brush, painful and useless.

Noticing her bewildered expression, Remus proceeds to explain his bid, “Alright, maybe I worded it wrong. I meant to say that maybe we should try to give the impression that we’re dating. I love you Dove, there’s no denying that, but we’re nowhere close to what Padfoot is insinuating and I just can’t live the rest of my school years being his experimental toad.”

“Ah,” She finally nods in understanding. Her facial expressions soften from the explanation, letting out a chuckle now as Remus’ words start to make sense “You still have to define try in this scenario, Rem. What are the rules and what not?”

Remus shrugs once more, “Just act like we’re dating in front of the boys, I guess.”

“Okay, and what does ‘act like we’re dating’ mean?” She questions further, her right hand now resting on her right cheek as she gives the offer a thought “Dating could have a very broad meaning, these days.”

“Hold hands, walk you to your classes, carry your books, you know those little things.”

“And how about the PDAs?”

“Like kissing?” Remus asks. He winces slightly at the thought, not out of disgust but more on the unlikelihood of either of them enjoying such action “We can opt that out. Just tell people we’re not a big fan of public attention for such gestures, they’ll buy it.”

She pursed her lips, brows furrowed now as she truly pondered her options. Sure the fact that Sirius is restless about his mission is irritating her, but is pretend dating really the answer? It feels cruel, knowing that Sirius came from a good heart, but Remus is right. Just how many more years should they suffer through this foolish mischief? If anything it will only grow discomfort between her and Remus and she surely wouldn’t want to lose her friendship with him.

“Should we put a time frame for it then?” She says, trying to help perfect the proposal “Say.. 3 months? Would that be too long? We could just tell people that we didn’t really work out by then.”

“I was going to say until the semester ends, but 3 months seems enough.” Remus nods, holding out his hand “So is that a deal?”

She smiles, taking his hand and shaking it firmly, “Deal.”

—-

The next morning when the pack walks down to the Great Hall, Sirius’ eyes are caught at the sight of his two friends sitting comfortably close to each other, already enjoying their meal and sharing what seems to be the most interesting discussion. James shot him a look, utterly puzzled at the intimacy they were showing. Peter was the only one who could still function and walk to the couple, sitting right in front of them.

“Morning, you two,” Peter greets, his eyes narrowed in an interrogating way “You left pretty early this morning, Moons. Didn’t even hear you go out the door.”

“Yeah, I had to pick her up from her dorm.” Remus shrugs, his tone casual as he rests a hand around her shoulders “You guys are here on time.”

“What is happening?” Sirius asks this time, a disbelief smile decorating his baffled face. He was still standing by the table, the only one who’s not yet seated. His eyes travelled to Remus’ secured hold around her “You two are more comfortable than I last remember.”

“Yeah, well, we decided to give it a go.” She explained with a smile, looking at Remus.

Sirius let out a chuckle, one that doesn’t sound the most sincere as he proceeds to question, his tone was laced with uncertainty, “Give what a go?”

“Dating.” She answers as she turns to him briefly before giving Remus a little peck on the cheeks “We’re dating now.”

Remus, who wasn’t expecting the kiss, turns crimson. It wasn’t the first kiss he’s received on the cheek from her, but getting it under the impression of their romantic affair still caught him off guard. He gave her a look, one that she understood was him being impressed at her act, before pulling her head closer to his shoulder. 

Remus’ eyes now travel to Sirius’ who is stupefied, still on his feet after witnessing such action. He doesn’t seem to be joyful, not even the slightest bit happy at the fact that his life mission is now finally achieved. Like someone hit the invisible reset button in the back of his head. Completely at loss of words and understanding of the scene unravelling before his eyes.

“You alright, Pads?” Remus asks with a raised brow.

James had to pull on Sirius’ robe in order to bring the black haired boy back to life. Sirius blinks, evidently trying to digest the new information with a scrunched brow. He finally takes a seat, resting his hand under his chin in an interrogative gesture, “What— When, uh, when did this happen?”

“Yesterday, after our Hogsmeade date.” She answers casually, squeezing herself closer to her ‘boyfriend’ as she continues “We figured.. You’re right. We do have chemistry between us, so we thought— Why not? Right, my Love?”

Remus smirks, seemingly amused at the pet name given, “Right, Darling.”

“Aw, not the pet names.” James fakes a gag “You two are going to beat me and Lils as couple of the year.”

Breakfast continued with so much laughter and bliss that her cheeks were starting to hurt. It feels wonderful to finally share tender and warm moments without having to worry that Remus might feel uncomfortable or that she would have to excuse herself to join her group of friends to run from a plot Sirius would pull on them. After what seems to be forever, the two of them can finally appreciate the platonic love shared in the group.

Yet through the delightful morning they’re spending, she couldn’t help but to notice the half-hearted laughter Sirius would let out or how he would play with his food more than to chime in on James' jokes. He wouldn’t meet eyes with her, as if he has a secret he wants to keep. Something she couldn’t tell what it was nor what it’s about.

—-

Fake dating Remus has been brilliant to say the least. Neither of them now have to feel awkward from each other, nurturing their friendship that was once put to halt when Sirius started his ruse. James and Peter have been more free to ask either of them to hang out too, knowing that Sirius wouldn’t pop out of nowhere and jeopardise the plan to have her paired up with Remus instead. Yet through all these splendid events, she couldn’t help but to notice Sirius’ withdrawal.

He has been more quiet whenever the five of them would hang out, being too busy with his assignments she knows full well he pays no mind about or excusing himself to get some rest. She couldn’t even see him alone, always having something in his schedule that would make him leave her in the hallways.

It would be a lie to say that she doesn’t miss his presence.

“Have you been giving the group more quidditch practice, Potter?” She asks as she plops herself to the sofa, scanning around the Common Room to look for the familiar black haired boy.

James makes a face, “No? We haven’t even done any practice for weeks due to the bad weather.”

A frown blooms on her face. Quidditch practice is Sirius’ most used justification to his pardon and to know that there hasn’t even been one for a while surely baffles her. What could be the reason for Sirius’ absence then?

“Where’s Sirius?” She voiced out “I haven’t seen him for a while now, it’s like he’s avoiding me.”

“Probably feeling undermotivated now that you two are dating. His whole life was devoted to seeing you two as a couple, now that it’s happened, I suppose Padfoot requires some time to recalculate his next life mission.” Peter comments nonchalantly “Perhaps he could finally find one that is actually useful for his future.”

She forces a smile.

A big question mark is still ingrained in her mind. She seems to be the only one to notice Sirius’ withdrawal and is actually bothered by it. Perhaps it was because the boys still see him in their dorm room and spend more classes with him that they could hardly notice the difference. Either way, she knows that she won’t get her answer by asking them about Sirius. She has to ask him herself. However that might be.

—-

Sirius’ palms have been more sweaty nowadays every time she was around. He was sure that one of these days his closest mates will call him out for the strange act he’s been pulling and how he’s committing the grandest sin to have feelings for his best friend’s girlfriend.

In his defence, Sirius never intended to fall for her. He’s always admired her, sure, only a fool would question that, but never has Sirius ever thought that such admiration stemmed from romantic feelings. He always thought and believed that her best pair is Remus, someone who is stable and responsible, unlike him who is impulsive and directionless in life. Someone who would follow wherever the wind would sail his ship to.

No, Sirius will never accept anyone who is less prudent than Remus to be her lover.

But that day in Potion class haunts him like a persisting ghost. How the cauldron of Amortentia smelled like her. A mix of her perfume, her favourite dish that she would always dig in whenever Christmas comes, and that scent of flower they did their Herbology paper on back in third year. There would be no chance that Sirius misinterpreted the scents. What he smelled from the love potion was her, only her.

Now he’s standing feet away from her, trying to cast the patronus charm along with the other students. He could see Remus succeeding in no time, producing a wolf shaped patronus. He could see the mixed emotions Remus had on his face. Proud of his success in conjuring the spell and bitterness over the form of patronus he owned.

He turned his gaze to Lily, a beautiful doe was running around her. James on the other side of the class was screaming in delight when he finally conjured his patronus, a magnificent stag standing by his side. Sirius knew that James would use this to pester on Lily more. People do say that some soulmates may have a connected form of patronus.

Sirius’ lips turned into a smile as he watched her successfully produce her patronus now. A beautiful rottweiler was running around her. What a perfect patronus, Sirius thought. A courageous and loyal animal, the perfect one for her.

Now Sirius tries to cast the spell himself. A couple tries and he finally managed to produce a full patronus, a german shepherd. He lets out a satisfied laughter, watching as his patronus runs around the class, stopping only when it met her patronus.

But Sirius’ patronus soon disappears as his focus dissolves, locking eyes with Remus who watches over the event with a confused look and an intrigued smirk plastered on his face. Sirius swallowed his own saliva in nervousness. Does this mean Remus knows about his growing affection towards his girlfriend?

—-

“I’m calling it, me and Lily are soulmates.” James says happily as he jumps on his bed, resting his arms behind his head as a pillow “Who would’ve thought, right? A stag and a doe. Merlin, we must’ve been made for each other for real.”

“Not really in the mood to talk about patronuses, guys.” Peter snorts, sulking at his still failure in conjuring one.

“Don’t worry, Wormy, your time will come.” Sirius says, patting the boy’s shoulder before heading to his trunk to put his books in “Took me a couple tries to get it too.”

“Right, your german shepherd patronus,” Remus notes, a suspicious smile tugged on his lips “Did you notice that yours were the only one other than her’s in the form of a dog?”

Sirius feigned a confused look, furrowing his brows, “Who? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, right! Her rottweiler!” James chimed “It was adorable when your patronus came to her’s, Pads. Too bad yours didn’t last too long. You surely need more practice with your spell.”

Sirius only let out a small chuckle, not saying another word as he silently prays that they would drop this topic. It’s uncomfortable enough for him to know that his patronus were fond of hers, adding to the stress of his realisation of her scent from the amortentia. Now to have Remus staring at him with an expression he’s dying to confront yet certainly not ready to face the consequences of, Sirius wonders if pairing her with Remus all these years was a mistake.

—-

“I think we need to call off this ruse.”

“Already?” She asks, putting down her book to meet Remus’ eyes “We’re not even half way through 3 months.”

“Yeah, I don’t think we need to get that long. Even if we break up now, I’m sure Sirius wouldn’t pair us up like he did before.”

She raised an eyebrow, confused, “Why would you think that?”

“Because that git finally realises that he likes you.” Remus says with a confident smirk.

Her eyes nearly popped out of its eye sockets. What Remus said just now is as surprising as hearing that Dumbledore and McGonnagal are holding their wedding this Yule break. Never in a million years would she ever expect such a reason to be uttered by him.

She let out a mocking laughter, dismissing his words, “You’re mental.”

“I’m not,” Remus denies, leaning closer to her to prove his words “That day in Charms class. His patronus came to you. You both had guard dogs as patronus. Why do you think that’s because?”

“Mere coincidence?” She questions, still finding his words to be baffling “We both have dogs as our patronus, so? They’re not even the same breed. You’re making a connection out of nothing.”

“Am I really?” He challenges “I mean, think about it! Don’t you think Sirius has been acting strange ever since we’re dating? And that day in Potion class, I bet you a hundred galleons, he smelled your scent from the amortentia.”

“He does not,” She says firmly, shaking her head in denial “And you don’t even have a hundred galleons, Remus.”

Remus rolled his eyes, “My point still stands. Sirius likes you, I’m certain of it.”

She frowns, still finding it hard to digest Remus’ words. It feels like some sick joke he’s trying to have her convinced. There would be no chance in hell that Sirius would like her. Why would he? All these years spent of him trying to get her with Remus, why would he now have feelings for her?

“No.” She says short.

“Why are you so defensive about this?” Remus groans “I’m telling you. We call things off now and I bet Sirius will waste no time and court you.”

“He spent his whole life in Hogwarts trying to pair us up, Remus. Now you say that he has feelings for me? Doesn’t that sound a little bit mad?”

He shrugs, “Maybe he didn’t realise his feelings for you until we did this fake dating.”

“That still sounds absurd.”

“Fine, don’t believe me,” Remus says, holding his hands up in surrender “But I still think we should stop our ruse now. If he really does have feelings for you, I don’t want him to feel like he’s betraying me or anything. I refuse to be the cockblocker between you two.”

She put up her book, closing their conversation with a nod. If Remus thinks that it would be best for them to stop their fake dating now then she would have no issue against it. It wasn’t like she was having the grandest time of her life fake dating him, but there would be no chance that she’s falling for his words, that Sirius secretly holds feelings for her because there’s simply no chance for that to ever happen in this life. No chance.

—-

“You broke up with her?!” Sirius asked, tone rising in disbelief and unexplained anger “Why?!”

“Because,” Remus answers with a shrug “I just don’t think that it was working.”

“So you dumped her?”

“No, it was a mutual agreement.”

Sirius still has his displeased expression on, glaring at Remus. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling this way. A mix of relief and rage at the same time. He was glad that they finally ended their relationship, for whatever reason Sirius isn’t sure he wanted to dig deeper on, but on the other side he can’t help but to worry if she was hurt by Remus’ decision. Even if it was a mutual agreement, who’s to say that she isn’t crying and bawling her eyes out from heartbreak right now?

“I still can’t believe you broke up with her.” Sirius mutters “You two have only been, what, a month together?”

Remus shrugs once more, letting out a tired sigh, “There’s no bad blood between us. She’s fine, I didn’t break her heart if that’s what you’re so riled up on.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Remus raised an eyebrow, giving him the ‘are you serious’ look.

“What?” Sirius asks, appalled “What’s with that look?”

“Oh, come on, Pads, stop acting oblivious.” Remus says, rolling his eyes “You might fool Prongs and Wormtail but you’ll never fool me, not about this.”

Sirius frowns, folding his arms in front of his chest in defence, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Remus glares.

Sirius squared his shoulders, showing his firm stand.

Remus sighs, patting his best friend's shoulder in an attempt to console him, “For what it’s worth, Pads, I’m not angry. If anything, I’m glad that you finally come to your senses and realise the true reason for your dedication in finding her a proper partner. You care for her, in a whole different world than how me or Prongs or Wormtail do. I just hope that you won’t be stupid enough to pull another lark on her.”

Sirius remains quiet, his defensive expression softens a little. It was one thing to realise his feelings for her, one thing to see all the signs scattered around them that he was so blind to see before, but it’s an entirely different thing to have it confronted by Remus. By the one person who he should feel most embarrassed to admit the feelings for. What kind of a friend is he? Has he no shame?

“I’m sorry, Moony.” Sirius begins “I never meant for it to go this way.”

“What are you saying sorry for? I just told you I’m glad about your budding affection for her.” Remus replies with a chuckle “You can throw away the shame or any foul feelings you have for liking her. I’m not angry or disappointed or anything you might think I feel. Matter of fact, if I could give you any advice, I’ll tell you to go and see her now and waste no more time. You’ve been dense for quite too long, it’s time you actually do something about it.”

“Are you sure? You’re not the slightest bit angry at me?”

“Pads, if you ask me one more time, I swear to Merlin I’ll hex you.”

Sirius smiles, genuinely at last. He feels like the heavy burden that has been sitting atop of his chest has been lifted. Like he could finally breathe and think clearly after being so suffocated by all the overthinking he’s done at night. He could feel the energy that used to flow through his veins slowly returning, making his confidence and bold self to be resurrected back to life.

“Moons,” Sirius called, grinning “You don’t happen to know where she is, do you?”

—-

The library was pretty much empty now. Students have either gone back to their dormitory or down at the Great Hall to have their dinners. She too would find herself digging into roasted chicken and mashed potato right now had today been another ordinary day, but no. Today has been everything but ordinary.

Remus’ words echo in her head like a broken record. She knew that Sirius had been acting strange. She’s confident that she was the first to notice this. Even his reaction to their dating news was so out of character. The anticipated grin and jump of joy was never presented, only vacant eyes and forced laughter served by Sirius ever since.

Now she tries to bury the thousand of questions running in her mind by reading some books she knew would do her no good. She’s lost count of how many times she’s reread this one sentence. None of the words seem to enter her brain, lost into thin air as her eyes skimmed through the words.

“Hey.”

Her head was turned in the blink of an eye, neck almost cracked from the sudden force. She stares at the boy standing by her side with a surprised look, smiling faintly, “Sirius, hello.”

“Can I join you?”

“Uh, sure,” She says, heart pounding now “Take a seat.”

Sirius silently does, smiling at her with quite the nervousness. Whatever it is he wanted to say tonight, she knew that it messes with his heartbeat as much as it does to hers.

“Are you busy?” He asks, fidgeting with his fingers “I’d like to steal a little bit of your time if you aren’t.”

“No, I’m not busy.” She says, closing her book. She tidies her hair nervously, trying to compose herself in front of him. Something she’s never felt before, conscious of his appearance in front of Sirius. Lord, just what is happening in her heart, truly?

“I, uh.. I have something to talk to you about.” Sirius begins, his volume getting smaller and smaller that he’s practically whispering now “I heard that you and Remus didn’t work out.”

“Oh, yeah, we didn’t.”

“Are you okay?”

“Grand,” She bobs her head up and down, a little bit too cheerful for someone who’s facing a break up “Me and Remus are still friends, there’s no hard feelings between us. We just didn’t work out.”

“I see.”

She nods again, smiling awkwardly, “Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah.. I mean, no, not really.” Sirius says, tongue tied over whatever lines he wanted to spill “I just— Well, I— Shit, this is so hard to say but I— Well, the past few days I’ve been thinking and I.. Well.. I suppose I owe you an apology.”

“An apology?” She asks, raising an eyebrow “What for?”

“For trying to pair you and Remus together.” He continues “I.. I realised that I might not have the proper reason for wanting to find you the right partner. I mean, I thought I did but some things that have happened recently have altered my perspective.”

She opens her mouth before closing it again, confused at whatever direction he was going for, “Sirius, I don’t believe that I understand a word you said just now.”

“I know. I’m not making any sense right now.” He says with a chuckle. The laughter was enough to melt the tension between them but once it died down, the heaviness on his shoulders returned that Sirius couldn’t help but to let out a sigh “What I’m trying to say is.. I think.. Well, I used to think that certain people belong to certain people.”

Her brows knit, listening carefully to his words.

“I thought that smart people belong with smart people. I thought that someone as smart as you should be with someone just as smart. I mean, it’s logical isn’t it? The lions belong with the lioness and the lamb belongs with the other lamb.” He continues, rambling “But then you started dating Remus, and that Potion class happened, and Charm class happened, and I began to think.. Could the lion be with the lamb?”

“I— Am I the lion or the lamb?” She asks, furrowing her brows “I’d be offended if you say I’m the lamb.”

Sirius grins, “You’re the lion, of course.”

“Then who’s the lamb? You or Remus?”

“Me,” Sirius answers, biting his inner cheek in nervousness “I’m the lamb.”

Her expression softens, slowly understanding his words.

“I know it was wrong of me to feel this way. You’re dating Remus, for Godric’s sake! I’ve been trying to pair you two for years and now that you two are dating, I can’t even fake happiness for it.” Sirius confesses, smiling pitifully to himself “What a friend, right?”

She takes his hand gently, softly squeezing it in assurance, “We can’t help who we fall in love with, Sirius. I’m sure Remus understands.”

“He does,” Sirius answers “Do you?”

She was quiet now. It all happens too quickly for her. Just a few hours ago she was fake dating Remus, then he told her that Sirius likes her, and now Sirius himself is professing his feelings. Sure there have been moments in her life where she admires Sirius more than she admires Remus or James or Peter, but it was never as strong as how Sirius is portraying right now. Never as clear as the devotion Sirius is offering her right now.

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” Sirius says, noticing her mute as rejection “Just say the words and we can put this behind us. Pretend that this never happens.”

“Sirius,” She calls, holding his hand firmer now “I appreciate your honesty and truthfully, I— I don’t have a word to say to you right now.”

Sirius nods, understanding.

“I just.. I need time to digest everything.” She continues “And you’re not making me uncomfortable. If you’d like to dive further into whatever this is we’re feeling right now, I’m willing to give it a go, but I can’t promise you anything right now.”

“Give.. Give it a go?” Sirius asks, hopeful eyes now staring at her “You’re willing to give this a go?”

“I mean, sure. I’ve always wondered what chemistry you always talk about whenever me and Remus were in the same room because to put it frankly, I always thought that it was us who had the chemistry, not me and Remus.” She reasoned, smiling a little at the thought “But like I said, I can’t promise you anything. I can’t promise you that I would be able to return the affection as much as the one you have for me. I’ll try, but I don’t want to give you false promises.”

“That is more than enough.” Sirius says fast, grinning satisfiedly now “Thank you.”

She nods, returning his smile.

Relief was what best describes the two of them now. Sirius kisses the back of her hand gently, showing his grandest gratitude for her understanding and kindness. The same happiness was mirrored on her face, flustered at his gentle gesture. It’s only a matter of time now until the two hand each other their hearts. After all, german shepherds and rottweilers always make cute puppies, don’t they?

[oldhalloweentape]

🐀Junkrat (OW I & II) x (gn) Reader💣

(Confession Edition!)

(Picture’s not mine!)

(Been wanting to write for him for a while now and I wanted to start up the writing process while the skillet was still hot, hope I convey Junkrat well!)

- Alright, this guy, it would take a bit for the junker to even realize his feelings for you are romantic, let’s all be honest with ourselves.

- Whenever he’s near you and feels fuzzy he just thinks it’s the after-effects of the excitement he has when he uses his bombs and makes people fly.

- He can’t differentiate those kinds of feelings, the difference between platonic and romantic is something that passes him by.

- It’s unclear if he even has feelings on top of that, treating you like a good friend that he’s particularly touchy with, which might discourage some.

- You could say something referencing your feelings to him, like complimenting him sincerely only for him to be like, “Thanks, mate! That’s mighty kind of you!” With that goofy ass smile plastered on his face.

- But knowing the people who are into Junkrat (me included), it’s a temporary setback, a momentary loss before you spring back up and try more for this weirdo.

- After all, I think that consistency and being a constant helps a lot, I mean, look at Roadhog— He’s the appointed best friend and pal to Junkrat, always with him. The reason I ascertain is due to Roadhog being a strong, reliable, and constant aspect to Junkrat out in the Outback.

- Roadhog himself is what I believe would be the knife that pops the tension between you and Junkrat, there’s only so much that a pig can handle. Especially when it comes to you trying so blatantly while the rat remains oblivious.

- On one particular day he just gets fed up and grabs him by the tire before he can run into the mission after seeing you interact and fail to get the point across to Junkrat for the umpteenth time. Makes Junkrat look him in the eye and doesn’t sugarcoat anything when he says, “Reader likes you. Fucking moron.”

- Then promptly drops him and starts making his way out of the building to do the mission as Junkrat is left sitting there on the floor, a baffled look on his face before hastily getting up and running after Roadhog, hastily asking what meant by that as his arms flap around manically.

- After that, he is quick to start crafting a “master plan” (as he so proudly calls it) excitably rattling about ideas swirling in his brain as he slaps together a planning board. Roadhog is subject to this rhymeless madness and gives him the nod and thumbs up method.

- He, as anyone might expect from him, wants it to be a grand affair. You are the subject of his affections after all, so naturally you deserve something grand, so, grand it will be.

- His definition of grand is… Odd of course, but do we expect from him? Yeah, and what we expect him to do is what he exactly does. Making it a spectacle that he tries to invite everyone to, unsuccessfully, and he gets talked out of it by Roadhog because of three reasons: One it’s a bad idea if anything goes south and you get something stuck or some shit, two it would take away the surprise and you’d probably find out what he’s trying to do, and third it would be awkward in front of so many people.

- After that hiccup he still wants it to be grand, and include explosives indefinitely, but more tame variations, like glitter (do NOT LET THIS MAN OBTAIN GLITTER) or smoke bombs with pink smoke that leaves stains.

- With the creation and attention he gives this plan it takes from the time he usually spends with you, but he makes up for it.

- After setting everything up, he excitedly drags you by your arm to a secluded area and promptly ignites a wired construction of said bombs all together creating a big fat heart shape on the floor. Then eagerly grabbing you by your shoulders and basically yells at you when he tells he’s all sorts of crazy about you and how he now knows you feel the same, as well as apologize that it took so long for him to realize it.

- Yeah, mouth full, and when you confirm that, yes, you feel the same he’s fighting the urge to bounce on the walls. Opting to hold your hands tightly, jumping and spinning the two of you around as he looks at you with a lovesick smile and gaze.

- At that point forward, you, him, and Roadhog are joint at the hips if you guys weren’t already.

- He’s so giggly about you, that he makes it a bit obvious that you guys are a thing now and it divides people on how they react to it, for example, one-half are relieved that the tension and pining is over or the other half are straight up horrified that the disgusting, gross, vile rat man that is Junkrat was able to get with someone.

[cup1dt3a]

Hello, I saw that you were writing for Welcome home and was wondering (If you took requests for it) if you could possibly do a possessive/obsessive (if you want to do Yonder you can!) Wally Darling x reader where the reader has a bird, when weird things start to turn up and objects start to disappear- the comfort of their home grows sour- they end up questioning themselves on what is happening and that they may have a squatter or even a stalker/ intruder who enters the home when the are either away, at work or asleep till the bird starts screeching out "Darling" in the middle of the night and would freak the hell out when ever the reader has Wally or he gets anywhere close to the doll/ puppet?

(Browny points if Reader sees Wally as a comfort object/stuffy)

I thought it would be a cool lill thingy.

If not that is A OK! I only wish for you to be comfortable!

I LOVE THIE IDEA And birds <33 Tysm for the request! And don’t worry I am comfortable with this request tysm for asking either way. Also the bird is a parakeet but I just like the word budgie more! It sounds just sooo cute and fun to say! Hope you and everyone are having an amazing day/night

Warning ⚠️ angst, bad home life, panic attack description

( I might have gone a little overboard with this one so there are some warnings. I’m sorry but the angst gods told me to make ppl cry a river and I had to please them)

“ Aren’t you just sweet?” You cooed out to your little budgie Bean as they nuzzled your face.

“Sweet bird! Sweet bird!” She squawked in agreement.

She was a little green budgie you had recently gotten from the pet store after months of saving. Bean was your dream pet. As a child you would always beg your parents for a budgie and constantly tell them everything you knew about them. But finally after moving out you had finally gotten your dream bird. And they were most definitely worth the wait from how sweet they were. Just a little cuddle bug and sometimes a mischievous little thing. For they had made it a habit of stealing some of your things to make a nest. It was cute but you needed your things back for your work.

After a month of having bean things started to feel odd. Not odd as in pigs flying but as if you were being watched. You knew it wasn’t bean because you would leave her beside one of your windows to have some sunlight in your kitchen. You would move her little “ house” to your room during the day. But at night you would move it to the kitchen due to her squawking a lot. At first it confused you why she would constantly squawk at night, but you thought it was maybe because of some of your room decor scaring her. Once you moved her out of your room to the kitchen she had finally stopped. Poor baby scared of something in your room. You just wished you knew what it was.

You cuddled your Wally plush sighing as you stretched to go see what Bean was screeching about. Your budgie had been constantly almost every night yelling for you. It was concerning. At first you brushed it off as then just having separation anxiety but you were wrong. You needed sleep for work but your small bean came before that. As you went to the kitchen you hurriedly gently got them out of their cadge to comfort them. This wasn’t good. It’s a well known fact that birds could be scared to death. You might have to sadly get rid of Bean if this kept happening. You loved her but you didn’t want her to die because you couldn’t bear to part with her. You gently scratched the top of their head to soothe them.

You had brought them back in your room where Wally sat on top of your bed still. As soon as you got in there with Bean they started to freak out squawking “ Darling! Darling!”

Oh shit! They were scared of Wally. You placed them into their cadge before gently putting Wally away under your bed. They soon stopped calming down finally.

“ Poor baby. I’m sorry I didn’t notice.” You said to the bird.

You felt horrible for not noticing Beans distress over the puppet. How could you not have noticed for so long? Poor Bean.But you still wondered why they would freak out even when in the kitchen. Must be cats or something you thought as you cradled the tiny bird. Seeing them finally ok. Your tired brain had time to wonder what was bothering them in the kitchen later since it was late and you had a shift at 5 in the morning you needed the sleep. Yawning as you pet their fluffy green feathers for the last time before putting them to bed. You went to your own plopping face first onto the bed before snoring the night away. While a certain pair of eyes glared at the finally peaceful bird.

This isn’t going to well at all

“Yeah you know that Wally plush I have? Yeah turns out Bean was just very scared of it.” You told one of your friends as you gave in another order of food to the back.

“ I wouldn’t blame them! That thing is creepy and how long have you had it for again…oh yeah 12 years!” They announced while you rolled your eyes before walking off to your next table.

It’s only been 12 years plus Wally is in very good condition because you may or may not have studied a lot about how to keep plushes in good shape for years. But that doesn’t matter! Wally was just a toy you always had. It felt as if he was always there for you. Listening to your frustrations, rants, bottled up feelings, and even helped you go through the worst year of your life.

Wally was given to you when a friend of yours had noticed you’ve been on the brink of harming yourself for a while. Your home situation wasn’t that good. And they had become worried, so on they gave you Wally. And you just felt a bit of a connection with the doll. It could maybe be that his eyes always looked like they were at attention every time you needed just somebody and Wally turned into your somebody. Sure plushies didn’t work for everyone but Wally did for you so whatever.

As you brought another ticket to the kitchen you had noticed a familiar color of blue poking out of your bag. You rushed to it flipping the top over to see Wally still staring at you with his smile and wide eyes at full attention as always.

“ How did-“ you muttered before being caught off by your boss yelling “_____ keep it moving!”

You hurriedly nodded as put the plus as gently as you fastly could back into your bag. This was the second time you accidentally brought him to work with you. It might have been from habit of always carrying him around but you don’t know you your anxious brain would bring him. You were now scared of being him anywhere except around the comfort of your home. For the fear of losing him, getting him dirty, one of his stitches coming loose, or even one of the cute buttons on his blouse popping off.

You must have just been so rushed today from your lack of sleep and accidentally put him in your bag as you were moving it out from under your bed.

You failed to once again notice the hateful glare threatening your boss as they still had their little yellow head poked out the bag.

Finally after finishing your shift you were called to your bosses office. You dreaded being fired is he going to fire you? Is he sick of you bringing your plush to work by accident. You don’t get that distracted by Wally right? Right?

“ Do you know why I called you here?” She asked while her arms were crossed.

“ No ma’am…am I going to get fired?” You hesitantly asked.

“No _____ but. You need to stop bringing that thing to work! It’s been a distraction to you everytime! This is the second time I’ve had to give you a warning the next time I have to I’ll be letting you go. Do you understand?” She sneered clearly once again upset with your performance at work.

“Yes…Yes ma’am I promise next time to be sure they’re not in my bag before leaving for work.” You promised.

“Thank you _____. But don’t forget that I will fire you if you also continue to daze off during your shifts too.” She remarked as you nodded before turning your back to get out of there.

All the while this time the doll sent a silent threat to your boss. Mortifying her.

Finally home you started to feel as if something was off about it. As you went to see where Bean was they were fast asleep behind their little toy. Yu stared in awe at how cute they were before silently putting some food I. Their cadge when they wake up. Their water was still full and you cleaned it yesterday so they’ll be fine.

You headed off to your room know Bean will alert you when they awake. As you got to your room to try and find some of your pens you noticed they weren’t there anymore. It was odd because you hadn’t had a break to use them in a while so how are they suddenly gone? You then looked for your headphones nowhere to be seen. Even looking for just a hair brush no where to be seen. That’s odd very odd. You used your headphones and hairbrush this morning. How could they not be there. This was creepy. You then looked for one of your oversized shirts once again no where to be seen. All of them except your blue and rainbow one could be seen. You then headed to your bathroom. Toothbrush, perfume, and even retainers gone. What the fuck. What the actual fuck this doesn’t just happen no. Bean couldn’t have done this because they were in their bird house all day. And you knew how to unlock it so… Is there someone in your apartment?

No there can’t be the window is shut, every door still shut, your front door locked, and everything was still as neat as you left it. Do you have some kind of creepy stalker in your house? No no! This can’t be happening you might have just misplaced them? Right you are just forgetful! No one can be in here you live alone with Bean. What if that’s what’s been causing her to squeak out every night. Were they trying to alert you? No, if someone was in here they would have still be screaming out.

You felt too hesitant to go to bed. The lingering question if some stranger being in your house scare you to the bone. You cuddled your Wally plush close to you. Scared. Being full of all the dreadful thing someone could do while you slept. Or even the horrific idea of what they could do to you. Were you just paranoid? Is everything off and you misplaced them all. You didn’t know you were just scared. Tomorrow was your off day and you for once wished it wasn’t just not wanting to be in here right now but at the moment you had no where else to go. You couldn’t sell your house and clean it out because that would take months of work you didn’t have time for. You just wanted to sleep for one night with bean not disturbing you. Why must the world be so cruel with its ridiculous powerful anxiety prone ways of giving you a panic attack? Why does everything go wrong for you? You just wanted to live a good rest of whatever life you had once free from the old place you called home not worried about some stalker.

You held your breath trying to hear if anyone was there. Even as your eye’s watered you still tried to keep it in. But eventually after 5 hours of keeping your eyes open they eventually closed drained from work and too many all nighters.

You woke up with Wally’s head now onto oof yours in almost a hugging position. And a few loud squawks coming from the kitchen. It was 2 pm now. Geez you slept for that long. You hesitantly got up looking around to see anything misplaced. Thankfully nothing was gone or placed somewhere else. You went to the kitchen the atmosphere of your home still as sour as it was when you came in you had seen Bean happily fluttering around wanting you to hug him. Even going as far as to demand them.

“ Hug and Kiss! Pretty bird! Hug and kiss pretty bird!” They chanted making you chuckle.

This is what you needed just this little distraction. Maybe you were just paranoid now seeing your two shirts on the laundry machine. As you turned around with Bean placed o toy our finger to get some food your hopes once again came crashing down. After they seemed to look up a heart gaped apple now laid on your counter white a yellow note beside the now sticky knife.

“ A sweet for my sweet <3”

No no no no no! No! This isn’t happening! No this wasn’t! Why does everything just go wrong for you? You needed to get out of here now. As you hurriedly for yours and beans things you tried to open the door only for it to not budge. How could it lock from the outside the only way to unlock it was in here. You set Bean aside as they tilted their head in confusion. You then started to aggressively try to pry the door open. Even going as far as to beat on it. After an hour of doing this till your throat was sore you stopped.

You were now trapped with some sociopath. You started to hyperventilate sinking down to the floor crying. You didn’t know what to do! Your phone is gone. Because as you hurriedly got everything you noticed it wasn’t on your nightstand.

You felt helpless and trapped. Bean was event running low on food. You don’t want to be here. You just wanted some peace. You’re scared and overly anxious. You’re pretty sure you might have a panic strake from the rapid beating of your heart, the ache in your chest making it too tight to breathe and the endless flow of tears. As you shake out Bean worriedly plops on top of your head while you shaking figure tries to calm down.

“ Pretty bird! Wanna kiss? Mwah!” They squawked placing a gentle constant mwah with every kissing peck of theirs.

“ Oh pretty birds so sweet.” You cooed slightly calming down as the ache in your chest still left you gasping for air.

Just as you were starting to calm down a loud potter patter started to be heard across the floor.

“ Darling! Darling!” They panicked.

You went pale now knowing who your captor was as the familiar wide eyes and wide smile peered down onto you.

Tysm for reading! Hope you enjoyed! I’m almost done with some of my requests so hope you enjoyed this one. And whoever requested this hope it lived up to your standards! Anyways hope you all have a good day or it gets better!

Sincerely -Cup1dT3a 💌

[sleepy-vix]

i love when you read a book and the main character has all the same life problems as you and opinions and viewpoints etc but i feel like one downside that we dont talk about is that they get a happy ending but we never actually know if we'll get one. we might be similar to that character but we arent guaranteed a loyal friend or a kind lover just like they had to distract us from our problems and i think that's just just so unfair and cruel of literature

we need more stories where the character just fixes themself honestly. i'm so tired of friendship is magic and love conquers all. you might as well tell me that pigs can fly because i don't believe that 'moral of the story' bs one bit.

[jalbert-james]

heres my gen z translation of julius caesar act 1 scene 1. if you even care.

under the break:

Enter Flavius, Marullus, and certain Commoners, (including a Carpenter and a Cobbler,) over the stage.

FLAVIUS

Hey! Get off my lawn! Don’t you hooligans know you can’t just walk around without us knowing what color collar y’all wear? Speak up! What’s your profession?

CARPENTER

Well sir, I’m a carpenter.

MARULLUS

Where’s your leather apron and your tools? What do you do while you’re in uniform? You, boy, what do you do for a living?

COBBLER

If I’m honest, handsome- I mean sir, I’m watcha might call a cobbler.

MARULLUS

Whatever, soy boy. What’s your job? Tell me!

COBBLER

Well sir, in a way, I’m a mender of bad soles.

FLAVIUS

Dammit boy, what makes your bread? Quit being a saucy moron and tell me!

COBBLER

Sorry! Sorry. Don’t freak out. But, if you did freak out, I could make it up to you. Wink wink.

MARULLUS

Hey! What’s that mean? Mend me, zest fest?

COBBLER

Why, sir, cobble you.

FLAVIUS

So you’re a cobbler, yeah?

COBBLER

Well to be quite honest sir, I ain’t got no business but with the awl. I got no business in sales, nor any business with the ladies, but I really do fix shoes: if you got a hole in your heel, count it done. I’ve been the mender of some real rich men’s shoes.

MARULLUS

Then what business do you got out here? What’re you hootin’ and holl’rin’ about? What handsome, strong fella do you know who’s out there saving Rome? Y’all are a bunch of dimwit sopbrains who ain’t got no heart. Didn’t you know Pompey? Did you not hold your babies to your chest and watch over the fields to see our triumphant beauty come home? And when you did see him, did it not bring you to tears as you shouted in solidarity to his efforts for Rome? And what now? Don’t you dress for his excellence? Do you not bring flowers to honor Pompey’s bloodline? Get on! Go! Go pray to the gods for forgiveness. Your sinful lack of gratitude offends them.

FLAVIUS

Yeah! What he said! You best cry me a river right into the Tiber banks, and I better see y’all fall to your knees at the shore.

All the Commoners exit.

Now we’ll see if those low-life kids feel remorse. Look, you can see the guilt in their walk. You go to the Capitol, I’ll meet you there. If you see those pigs honoring the statues there, you better pull the ceremonial robes off of that sucker.

MARULLUS

Is that safe, Flavius? Y’know, it is Lupercal. It’d cause quite the ruckus.

FLAVIUS

Whatever. Don’t care. If I see another statue of Caesar, I’m going to go insane. I’m about to chase off all of these hobos. Together, we can pluck each feather out of his big stupid wings so that he can’t fly above us anymore. We can’t fear him if he’s just as powerless as us.

They exit (in different directions)

[inthedarkshadows000]

SneakPeak#107.......

From the story I might never write

It's a bit longer than my other works so please be patient till you reach where the characters Iskaed into the OC's life.

Those misogynistic pigs!!! They only wanted to meet today to try and intimidate me.

As if, I snorted and massaged the crown of my head with my pointers.

I did not work through blood and tears for half a decade so some self obsessed, greedy politicians could frame me for treason against my country.

To be an Indian foriegn secretary had taken a better portion of my life.

I had to completely flip my attitude to pursue the sudden passion I had acquired, no more parties, late night rendezvous, lack of routine and so on. Basically every rule that I had lived by for the 21 years, before I decided I wanted to be this.

I had the brains but not the discipline yet I did it, I got my shit together, proved everyone around me wrong, and cleared the exam with flying colours.

After that it wasn't still all fun as I thought, once in the system, I realised the reality of it all. The stinky politics, the I got dick so I gotta be a dick attitude, and so on.

I mean I wasn't expecting it to be rainbow farts and unicorn shit but you would think it'll atleast be a little subtle, being a bureaucratic job and all. Nope!! Not a chance.

It was so glaring obvious that currently one of my lovely ministers were on a tour to Japan, to, guess what?!!

Exactly!!! Intimidate lil ol'me into resigning, else, he would frame me for conspiring against india. Blah blah blah.

Not while I still breathe.

He thinks I don't know his simpleton idea. (it'll make him choke to death to realised a woman has more brains than him.)

Like hellloooo.... my job profile need me to be at my sharpest quite unlike their's. I rolled my eyes so hard at the thought, surprised they aren't stuck in my head.

Hence, why i was stressing and burning a path into my office carpets. That guy is a snake and if I don't play my cards right he might as well finish me right now.

Goooood!!!!!! Couldn't I have people like getou, gojo, Nanami or toji around me.

Like... yummmmm... I mean to obviously support and help me, no other reason *wink wink*, ofcourse.

Just imagine... daddy fushi. Drooooool !!!!

Alas not everyone can have hot men fighting for or protecting us. The injustice I tell you. I thought with a tiny pout.

I had only just finished my tiny prayer to manifest so when I heard a light buzz behind my back and whizzed around.

What. I stepped back to create space between the body wall that had suddenly appeared and hit something- one else.

The. I spun around again to keep the 2 intruders in my line of sight.

Actual. And hit the 3rd.

Fuck. And 4th.

Holy moly!!!! My eyes were probably the size of saucers as I tried to decide if I had seriously lost the last few screws that I guaranteed I had.

There were currently 3 angels- anime characters- right in front of me, and I really, really hope the one missing here is behind me.

I whipped around to check and yes, he is. In all of his 6 feet plus glory. Gulp.

I raised my hand to pull at the lock of hair on his forehead to make sure this wasn't a dream.

Hey!! I ain't hurting me. I might be crazy but got limits too, Babe.

"Owee!! What was-"

That's the last last thing I heard before a "fuck me" left my lips and I blacked out.

OK... so no I actually did not faint. I have a meeting with the devil, can't really let my defences down even if the sexiest of men namely... wait for it OK.... The greatest ever.... SATORU GOJO, KENTO NANAMI, TOJI FUSHIGURU and SUGURU GETOU had suddenly apparated infront of me from thin air.

However, I did get extremely light headed and tripped on my feet. Although a pair of hands were holding me up before I could embarrass myself.

"Thank you" I said straightening myself and moving out of suguru's grip. 

Really never thought I would do this, like move out of this beautiful specimen's arms. Kill me now. I hate being responsible.

"Any particular reason why 4 random men have just appeared out of thin air in my office at the most random and frankly inconvenient time" I continued with raised eyebrow and moved around.

Regain control!!! Regained control!!! Do not let yourself be seduced!!!

I walked out from the amongst them. The position making me feel extremely vulnerable due to sheer difference in height and stature between them and my 5'3", petite self.

Now I know.... I am not dumb but I can't just throw myself on the extremely trained, assassin level skilled people who literally have the worst trust issues ever. I'll probably be declared a crazy stalker bitch and dead meat even before I get a hand around them, especially with the stunt I just pulled.

"You pulled my hair. Why did you pull my hair?" Suguru asked with a little tilt to his head.

OH! MY!!! GOD!!!! AS ADORABLE AS A PUPPY!!! . I had stop my self from squishing his face, he looked so cute.

He followed my form as I sat behind my desk and motioned for them to take a seat on the 2 chairs in front as well as the couches placed on the right side area of the desk.

"She probably found it weird suguru" snickering the white haired baby, Satoru.

"I apologise, I wanted to make sure you were real. Now if you could all please answer my question" I said completely ignoring the menace.

I wasn't actually apologitic. Do you KNOW how soft it was.

"And you wouldn't pull your own? That's what people normally do, you know" satoru said.

"You really wanna talk about normal?" I questioned back, and motioned towards all of them and waving my hands around.

"Touché"

However my comment did make them glance at each other. There movements uncomfortable in there own way.

Toji was the first to release a long sigh, shrug and move towards the long couch. Sitting down with a manspread and head thrown back, like he really didn't care about the fact that he isn't a 2-D wetdream anymore but a real person. I knew from the show it wasn't so. He was as alert as a watch dog.

Suguru too gave a sigh of defeat, scanned the office like making sure nothing was about to pop up and attack or maybe just analysing. He seems like a person who would. Then his eyes met mine, gave that sweet smile which I had swooned over millions of times, and walked over to me with his hands in his pocket. He seemed awkward. No. Just unsure, I think. The smile was a facade to hide whatever he was feeling.

Satoru stood straighter, I thought he would fall back with how backward bent he was however he just walked towards me with a surprising grace for someone as tall as him. Swinging his arms around, his aura of confidence which had almost slipped at my comment, maintained. Seeing his body language I knew some weird comment was on its way. Probably to redunce anything I had noticed, if I had.

"You were about to faint because of how handsome I am, weren't you?" He came into my personal space and bent over me. His forefinger pulled his black glasses a little lower so he could hold me with his piercing eyes.

And held I was, no animation or device in the world could do his eyes justice. The blue in them was nothing an ordinary person could describe. It wasn't just a colour but a melange of different shades of blue that almost seemed...... alive.

The closeness, like i have never felt before made me panic and I blutered the first thing that came to my head "Are you an alien? You definitely seem like one."

"Huh-" there was a two second lag in Satoru as he tried to comprehend my question and suguru chuckled, hiding his face behind his hand to try and control it.

He had taken a seat on one of the chairs. Atleast someone was ready to have an adult conversation with me.

"An angel actually" satoru replied recovering but so had I and simply rolled my eyes at him.

I pushed his face away from mine and said "Sit the hell down. Just because I am not screaming and going crazy does not mean I am all normal here. I need answers, and want them as soon as possible."

"I am Nanami Kento, these are my colleagues gojo satoru and geto suguru. The one over there is Fushiguru Toji. I apologise for the sudden intrusion in your office....and your space" Nanami said the last part looking at satoru.

He had taken the other seat while satoru had been talking to me. Sitting with his arms crossed and back as straight as they come. His classic stoic expression was hawt.

Satoru rolled his eyes at Nanami like an insolent kid. I bit the inside of the cheek to control the smile that threatened to escape, seeing their antics in real life is definitely much more entertaining.

"Satoru sit. On the couch." Suguru rubbed his eyes when satoru moved to sit on the handle of my chair.

"We really don't have the energy right now." He was finally tired of his best friend's attitude.

Surprisingly toru actually listened and sat down on a single couch, beside the one which Toji had taken, his legs crossedamd head thrown back. He was a spliting image of one of the scenes from the show.

During this time, I noticed that they all seemed to belong to different eras of the anime. Not only that, there was a mix of all of there styles.

Toji looked like right before he died in season 2. With his compressed shirt and those lose pants. The creators really didn't do his boobies justice. The trust he had on that shirt is what I aspire to have in my relations.

Gojo when he was a teacher but with thise sexy rectangular shades. Kento, the sexy suit.

Suguru seemed like he was in jjk season 2, without his traditional monk clothes. His hair were shoulder length. Both him and satoru wore jjk uniforms for teachers, which were similar to the ones they had as students. The baggy pants and all.

Wanna guess what those hide ;"

"I am y/n. Officer in the Indian embassy here" I moved my hand towards kento first and then suguru. There hands were soft and warm, engulfing mine entirely. Of course they had to have the most beautifully crafted hands ever. I sent a silent prayer to thank for my skin tone which never reveals my blush.

I wasn't usually the one to be conscious about physical appearance but I gotta tell you my ego was taking continuous hits being in their presence.

"I don't know how to entirely explain what just happened. I think we aren't from here yet came here. Its all extremely absurb for us too.... obviously the transportation doesn't help either." began suguru. He kept pausing and looking at nanami and others as if answers would randomly appear.

Poor thing. I could probably solve half of his issues by telling him what I knew of them but looking at him so unsure was getting fun now.

"We Basically died and got reincarnated" Piped satoru, his hand over his eyes, glasses kept on the coffee table. Babe..what?!?!

"We need to know where we are and maybe then we will be in a better condition to link our circumstances." Nanami said trying to find a starting point of their story.

At this point I realised how truly stressed they all were. Even though they sat carelessly, a tightness in their body was visible. Their eyes shifting everywhere as if trying to find some clue to make sense of.

Nodding my head I switched on my laptop, which was kept in front of me on my desk and opened up chrome, typing up their anime I turned it towards them. I stood up a little to pass it.

"I think this will help you make a little more sense of the situation" I mumbled and pulled back my fingers, sitting back in my chair.

I forced myself to not bite my nails as I saw there face become more and more confused. The creases on there forehead increased. Suddenly a loud voice made me jump in my chair and I let out a squeak.

"What the actual fuck is this!?" That was nanami cursing. OH god! I can happily die now. Hearing this sophisticated creature curse in front me made all kinds of delirious before I shook it off.

Suguru turned towards me when he heard my voice and instantly asked nanami to control his temper. My sweet, sweet sugar.

I am going to assume he was talking to himself and avoid any communication till I absolutely had to.

The fact that Nanami cursed made toru and toji curious too, who quickly scrambled over.

The more they kept looking through the more I kept sinking into the chair, regretting this, I don't even know why though. I figured it was due to four steroid infused men who might be angry at me, in such close quaters.

Suguru had been continuously shifting his gazing between the screen, his mates and me. I really wonder what he was thinking.

Toji had been standing tall, next to nanami with his hands crossed and looking into the screen with a nonchalant attitude, we all know he was anything but. I was sure of it when I caught his side glance in my direction which almost felt like it was sizing me up.

Sir please.. my Size is fragile- handle-with-care.

Satoru was between nanami and suguru leaning all the way in, totally engrossed into the screen. He suddenly shouted pointing at the screen with one hand and shaking suguru like a toy with the other "Look suguru, they got the perfect click. oooh dayuumm babay.... I look so pretty."

Toji suddenly turned towards me fully and put his both hands down on the desk and leaned forward and in the the most intimidating tone said one word that had my blood freeze.

.

.

.

.

And rush into my nether regions.

Psycho woman.

"Explain"

The rest of them looked up me too. Toji continued to look at me like he couldn't decide if letting me answer was worth not killing me. I was after all their only hope, of sorts.

"I.. you.. I me.. ..an" I stammered. I knew they wouldn't actually kill me. I hope. Even then, with how rattled they seem I couldn't let my gaurd down. Toji was a wild card here. He did not have the same way of handling situations as the others did.

I knew that the other three wouldn't be able to stop him, if they wanted to, that is, and that 'if' was a huge one right now.

Suguru suddenly got up from his place and came towards me. I stood up and shifted to step away from the chair in a way that it created a shield between us, in case they all decided that they had no use for me anymore.

He put his hands up in a way of showing he meant no harm and walked closer in slow steps like approaching a scared animal.

I probably looked like one. I loved these fictional characters but exactly as that, I would be a fool to forget what they were trained as. killing machines. They had been so traumatised that distrust for a stranger was only natural.

Therefore, I wouldn't be off my gaurd either till I gained their trust. I made sure to keep an eye on all of them in which ever place I stood. Especially now that I could feel Toji's patience running thin.

"Guys relax. Y/n, could you please explain what's all this. It's been a rough couple of..... I don't even know how long. The fact that our entire lives are splayed across your screen Is really not looking very good. We just want to know why?" By the time suguru had finished, he was in my personal bubble. So close that I had to take a step back, and shift the chair again, to not break my neck looking up.

"Also if you got anymore of my perfect moments captured, I need them asap. The quality is like really good here." Of course the strongest sorcerer of all time had a different priority.

I took a deep breath and shifted I to my bureaucratic role. Fake it till you make it. Right? Squaring up my shoulders, I gave a tiny nod to suguru and turned towards the rest. Going with the easier question first.

"Yes. I got amazing pics of you, and the rest of you too. Not because I stalked you, well I do but not physically. You do realise that's impossible with the abilities you all possess, don't you?" My tone sassy with the last sentence.

Satoru actually hummed, with his face between his thumb and fore finger, in a thinking pose.

"In my world you all are actually characters of an anime called jujutsukaisen. Well, the charac- people in there have huge Fandoms because of your looks and strength and story. I just coincidentally happen to be one too." I finished and shrugged shoulders, absolutely covering my obsession with them like it was a teenage crush.

I raised my chin with an attitude of go fuck yourselves and took my place back on the chair. Suguru had moved to stand at the side of the desk. I was partially thankful because if anyone decide to jump me, I was running behind him like this chic on fire.

"If you wanna know all that I know, then I can just start the anime in here and open the link to Mangas." I said as an after thought.

"I want to apologise for my behavior earlier, it's not like me to curse. We would really appreciate it if you could show us whatever there is." Nanami said with a guilt and rubbed his tired face.

A genuine smiled spread on my face. "Don't worry, I know how you are and actually always wondered what you would seem like losing co- I mean angry." Quickly corecting myself I waved him off.

No need to sound perverted, because let's be honest I did mean it in a perverted way.

"Don't say it like that. You sound like you know everything about us when we don't know shit about you. It's weird" that was Toji with his impeccable manners.

I looked at him smiling and scratched the back of neck awkwardly, "Right.. My bad. I'll try and be mindful of it."

Suguru took his place back on the chair. "So we are .. like just characters here, Nothing else?" He seemed kinda disappointed.

"Sir please, dont insult yourselves like that." I said dramatically with a hand on my heart. "Wait till you see the obsession and love people have for you here. I am surprised there isn't a petition for  jjk to be a religion yet." I giggling because like seriously!! Wait till they see the extend of it.

I prayed my theatrics would bring a smile to his face, it wasn't made to be disappointed and like hell would I ever let him or any of these people be any less than happy. Thankfully it worked and he gave a tiny smile.

"Anyway here is my phone with everything open and if you really wanna see the reality of your Fandom, I am sure you know how to use net." Passing the phone to them.

I suddenly realised it was about to be time for my personal favourite person to enter, Mr. Shah. Note the sarcasm.

Which meant I had to hide them before he saw all of this and added 'slut' to his list of adjectives for me.

"We need a bigger screen, can't expect us to see everything on this. Are you poor?" Satoru seemed genuinely aghast at the idea.

OK. Judgemental much, pretty boy.

"No i am not but that is the only device I can spare for public use right now." I said sharply and continued. "Actually its perfect, you cannot watch it here, right away in any case. Remember how I said this is a very inconvenient time, although my literal fantasy was coming true." I motioned towards them and satoru smirked.

"I have a meeting with a snake, and I can't have you lot loitering around." I continued before he could make a remark.

"Snake like a literal or figuratively?" Now you would think that this was something Satoru would ask but it wasn't. Personally, I never thought I would have to clarify something like that.

"I mean it figuratively but once you see him you'll be amazed how much closer he is to the literal sense. So as I was saying, I'll have to lock you guys in the washroom" I answered after waiting a beat to see if Toji was serious or just pulling my leg. He Stood straight, with his hands crossed and those buldging biceps. Squish my head and call me orange juice.

Wait....My god he was serious about the question. What kind of deals HAS he gone through.

Add to the THINGS TO ASK.

"With these idiots- You cannot hide my pretty face like that!" Nanami and suguru didn't really say anything. They sat on the chairs mostly observing and listening. I looked at them and gave a helpless smile with I-seriously-got-no-other-option shrug. They glanced at the other and then relaxed a little. I was gonna assume they said-

"very well."

OH they actually did. Thank god atleast half the population had some brains.

Ring.ring.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!!!!

[gay-mooshrooms]

Hey guys!

Wanted to drop some of my DSMP headcanons just for funsies.

Some of these are more popular/common than others and some might be cannon I have no clue

Niki taught almost everyone in lmanburg how to bake. Eret was really good, Wilbur was ok, Tommy and Tubbo struggled, Jack wasn’t good but did it with her the most, and Fundy was decent. She eventually taught the members of the syndicate too, Techno sucked but enjoyed it, Ranboo was really good, and Phil was better at cooking but wasn’t horrible at baking.  

Wilbur was the one who wrote most of the anthem, but Tommy helped with the lyrics. Niki made the flag. 

Ghostbur made gardens everywhere, especially around lmanburg and the lmanburg crater, and eventually Phil and Tommy started helping him.

Ranboo and Tubbo have matching earrings and wear their marriage rings on their horns. Ranboo has a long tail that he uses to pick up Michael. Techno helped Ranboo make his crown. 

Wilbur loved writing songs for his friends, but Tommy listened to them the most. Wilbur left him the sheet music and a guitar when he left for Utah. 

Ranboo and Tubbo would often give Michael to Phil whenever they had to go out. Most of the time Techno would help out and eventually started teaching Michael how to fight, much to Ranboo’s dismay. Tommy would help sometimes, Phil forced him to come the first few times but he started to enjoy it after Michael started doing crafts with him, now he’s teaching Michael how to draw. 

Tommy likes doing art, Niki helped him learn and does it with him when he wants.

Niki and Eret make clothes together, Niki knows how to sew since she made the L’manburg flag and taught Eret. They like making dresses and skirts.

There's a way to travel between servers like what happened with Empires and Hermitcraft, it's practically magic and some people can do it. Karl does, he just doesn’t know it. 

Niki started a pressed flower collection and eventually Tubbo started helping her find them and started a collection of his own. 

Cus Phils a bird hybrid on both dsmp and origins, he can't see glass. This has led to a lot of the glass being replaced with colored glass after he got a concussion flying into windows too many times.

Techno's a piglen/pig hybrid so he can smell and hear really well but he struggles with eyesight so he wears glasses and loud noises/overlapping sounds cause him stress. This is part of why the voices affect him so much. He had beeswax in his ears during most of the big fight or explosion scenes to help with the sound stuff. Has tough skin literally and doesn't get wounded or burned as easily as the average person. Also has a very heightened sense of smell and can tell different people apart and where they are from a ways off. Part of how he calms himself down if the voices get too overwhelming is comforting scents and counting what he can smell.

Because of Ranboo's enderman half, people can't look directly into his eyes without getting dizzy or nauseous.

Part of Ghostbur's blue comes from Forget Me Not's, which grows under his eyes like tears and out of the wound in his chest.

Let me know what you think of these and if you want more!

[origins-ducktales-story]

HH-HB Au Crossover.......

Chapter 1 heaven revolution

Veronica enter inside heaven

*Gabriel, an angel was standing by the gates of Heaven with a book in hand.*

Gabriel: ***State your name.***

Veronica: seriously

My name is Veronica

*Gabriel looks over the pages of the book.*

Gabriel: Alright then. You are...Veronica. May I ask how you died?

Veronica: by deadly sickness

*Gabriel's eyes widen as he looks up from the book.*

Gabriel: Y-you're kidding, right?

Veronica: i m not kidding!

*Gabriel sighs as he closed the book.*

Gabriel: You're one of the few of the few humans actually worthy enough to enter these gates...

Veronica enter inside

*The gates of Heaven slowly opens before her. Beyond the gates, there is beautiful landscape filled with lush greenery, tall white clouds, and white buildings. In the distance, she can faintly see a large glowing pillar.*

Veronica: turns into her lioness form and stay far on high cloud*She's now far above the clouds, hovering in place. From up there, she can see a variety of things. She can see the clouds, beautiful white buildings, and the large golden glowing pillar.*

Veronica draws on the high cloud on her apple tablet

*As Veronica draws on her tablet, she catches a glance of two Angels flying by in the distance. They don't notice her but they look like they're discussing something.*

Veronica continue drawing*the voices of the Angels became a bit more clear.*

Angel 1: *sigh* I'm telling you that's impossible.

Angel 2: Why not?

Veronica: (disccusing about dumb things)

On her mind

Angel 1: That would never happen.

Angel 2: Why not? I heard it is a possibility.

Angel 1: From who?

Angel 2: That Archangel guy, Michael.

Angel 1: Seriously, stop listening to him.

Veronica continue drawing

Angel 1: That Archangel, talks outta his ass...he once said the dead will rise up.

Veronica: (again) on her mind

Angel 1: He talks about the end of the world coming soon. Saying crap like "A new king will rise and bring a new light." Honestly, I doubt it.

Angel 2: You never know, maybe it might happen one day?

Angel 1: Yeah right, and pigs will start flying. Hey...that will be a hilarious sight for sure

Angel 2: That doesn't sound possible at all.

After those two left

*Once the two angels were gone, Veronica continues to hover above the clouds, drawing on her pad. It's now quiet for a while.*

The hours pass and it was night time*

The white clouds have been replaced with a beautiful orange hue and the sky is filled with stars. All of Heaven seems quieter than ever, it's almost so quiet that one can hear themselves breathe.*

Veronica sleeps for the. Night

*The sun is now rising across the horizon, painting the sky a mixture of golden, red, and blues. Some angels begin to mill around, flying from one place to another. Heaven is gradually getting a bit more lively in the morning*

Veronica awake*

Veronica opens her eyes to see Heaven is a lot more lively by now. She notices a few angels flying below her, talking amongst each other. They still fail to notice her*

Veronica flew on her lioness form

*Veronica descended from the clouds on her lioness form. She flew below the clouds, seeing more angels, Heavenborns, and human winners roaming around. Some of them notice her flying past, though most of them are more focused on their own business. Some of the angels even greeted her as they pass by.*

The next 5 years veronica was being creative, a tiny reckless because she was artist

*Over the 5 years, Veronica had pretty comfortable life in Heaven. She's gained a following of angels and some humans for her artistic pieces, though she's gotten into a bit of trouble here and there as well when she was a bit reckless.*

Veronica: don t start to compare me With Lucifer

*As Veronica walks through the streets, she overheard a couple of angels talking with one another, one of them brought up Lucifer.*

Angel 1: You know Lucifer, right?

Angel 2: Oh yeah, I heard about him. Apparently, he used to be an Archangel until he tried to overthrow God.

Angel 1: And got himself booted from Heaven and to Hell.

Veronica: and this place with old laws since 1000 years

*Veronica overheard another group of angels just as they pass by her, gossiping amongst themselves.*

Angel 1: Can you believe these outdated laws?

Angel 2: I know, right. It's like they haven't been updated in centuries!

Veronica: sorry but i had to agree with lucifer heaven continue with the same rules

*As Veronica walked around, she overhears another conversation, the angels appearing to discuss something that Lucifer said.*

Angel 1: I overheard some angels talking about Lucifer yesterday, saying they agreed with him.

Angel 2: Agreed with him about what?

Angel 1: About Heaven's rules. Some of them said they feel that the rules are outdated and they agree with Lucifer.

Veronica: well at least i m not the only one

*Veronica overhears another conversation as angels are sitting on a bench near her, looking at the sky.*

Angel 1: Man, I can't help but feel bad for Lucifer.

Angel 2: Bad for him? You're kidding right, he was a dick.

Angel 1: I know, but he did have a point. I mean, the rules are outdated.

Veronica: well at least i m not the only one

*Veronica continued to walk and overhear another conversation between a pair of angels.*

Angel 1: You know that whole thing with Lucifer and the rebellion.

Angel 2: Hm? Yeah, what about it?

Angel 1: Sometimes, I wondered if Lucifer's rebellion was justified.

Veronica: well i can t blame him and i justified his actions

*As Veronica continued to walk, she overheard another conversation. Two angels were sitting on a bench, chatting with each other.*

Angel 1: You know, I've been thinking something for a while now.

Angel 2: Oh yeah? What is it?

Angel 1: Well, I can't help but wonder if Lucifer's rebellion was justified, considering the outdated rules in Heaven...

Some time pass many angels agree with Veronica

.*More and more angels began to agree with Veronica, and the topic of Lucifer started to become more and more common in conversations. Even some of the humans began to talk about him as well. It seemed like Lucifer's rebellion was a hot topic in Heaven.*

While with other angels

*Veronica hangs out with a couple of angels, chatting with them.*

Angel 1: I've been thinking, do you think the laws here in Heaven are a bit outdated?

Angel 2: Oh yeah, I mean, they haven't been updated in centuries. Sometimes, I even think that Lucifer was right to rebel.

Veronica: exactlyAngel 1: I mean, I get that we angels are supposed to follow God and all, but some of these rules are just ridiculous.

Angel 2: I know, right? It's like these laws were made in ancient times and they haven't been updated to keep up with the times.

Angel 1: And don't even get me started on the rules about free will. It's like we can't make a single decision without consulting God first.

Veronica: the rules are made 1000 years in the past

Angel 1: Yeah, I heard it was around that time too. I mean, it's been 1000 years since these rules were put in place. Things are a lot different now than they were back then. Just look at the world outside Heaven, times have changed quite a lot.

Angel 2: And yet, we're still stuck with these old and outdated rules.

Some years later

*Over the years, Veronica continued to live in Heaven, continuing to gain a following from the other angels and some of the humans living there. Surprisingly, Lucifer was brought up more and more in conversations, with more and more angels agreeing with his rebellion. Some of the younger angels and humans even began to wonder if Lucifer was right after all.*

While the old angels watch

*As Veronica continued to live in Heaven, some of the older angels began to watch her, observing her interactions with the other angels. They heard her conversations, and noticed the younger angels and humans agreeing with her. Some of the older angels expressed concern and even fear, as Veronica was starting to gain quite the influence in Heaven.*

Some time pass

*The older angels continued to watch Veronica, and over time some of them began to grow concerned with the influence she was having in Heaven. Some of the angels felt uncomfortable with her spreading her opinions about Lucifer and the outdated rules in Heaven.*

*One day, a group of older angels approached Veronica as she was walking, looking a bit serious.*

Veronica: WHAT IS THE WHOLE TRUTH what i said.

*One of the older angels, a tall male angel with a stern expression on his face, spoke up.*

Angel: *clears throat* Veronica, we need to have a word with you.

Veronica: about what 😒

Angel: We've been watching you, and we've noticed the influence you've been having on the younger angels and humans.

*The angel paused for a moment.*

Angel: Your conversations about Lucifer and the outdated rules in Heaven. We find it...concerning.

Veronica:CONCERNING NOT WONDERS WHY LUCIFER STARTE REBELLION BECAUSE OF THIS OLD SISTEM

*The angel's expression darkened as Veronica spoke. He looked at her with a stern and disapproving look.*

Angel: Watch your tone, young lady. You're speaking of Lucifer, a fallen Archangel. We don't speak his name in Heaven.

*One of the other angels spoke up.*

Angel 2: And you're spreading dangerous ideas about the laws of Heaven and our system here. You're causing unrest among the younger generation.

Veronica:I WILL TALK ABOUT HIM THE TIMES I WANT AND THIS IS NOT THE ENCANTO MOVIE OLD MAN

*The angels become visibly offended by Veronica's response. The first angel's eyes narrowed as he spoke.*

Angel: How dare you disrespect us like that! We are older and wiser than you. We've been protecting Heaven for centuries, and we know what's best.

*Another angel spoke up.*

Angel 2: You're stirring up trouble with your reckless words, young lady. You don't know the consequences of what you're doing.

Veronica:THIS PLACE HAD BEEN STUCK IN THE SAME OLD RULES UDPAT WE ARE ON THE CENTURY 21 NOT IN THE MIDDLE AGES

*The angels looked increasingly irritated and frustrated with Veronica's responses. The first angel, clearly trying to maintain his composure, spoke up again.*

Angel: You're too young and too naïve to understand the importance of order and stability. These rules exist for a reason, to keep Heaven safe and in equilibrium.

Angel 2: We've been following these rules for centuries, and they've worked perfectly fine. You shouldn't question them or question the wisdom of our system.

Veronica: OH YOU EXPECT ME TO FOLLOW GOD S ASS LIKE A LOST PUPPY YOU ALL WRONG EVERYONE HAD NOW FREEDOM TO CHOSE WHAT THEY WANT BECAUSE THIS IS NOT THE PAST 1000 YEARS AND THESE OLD RULES SHOULD CHANGE......

*The angels looked increasingly flustered and angered by Veronica's words. The first angel clenched his jaw and spoke up with a stern tone.*

Angel: You dare to question God's wisdom? We angels are the children of God, his loyal and obedient servants. We follow his every command and obey his every rule.

Angel 2: You're acting like a spoiled brat, defying the will of God and questioning the very foundation of Heaven. You have no right to do so, you're just a young angel, not even an Archangel.

Veronica:EJEM PEOPLE OF HEAVEN WHO IS WITH ME ON THIS

*The angels looked caught off-guard by Veronica's sudden outburst, but they quickly recovered and tried to maintain their composure. Suddenly, a few of the angels and humans began to agree with Veronica, raising their voices in support.*

Some angels: Yeah, I'm with her!

Some humans: She's right! The rules should change!

Veronica:WELL WHAT ARE YOU ELDERS ARE YOU GOING TO SAY ABOUT THIS

*The angels looked a bit surprised and taken aback by the sudden support Veronica received. The first angel looked at Veronica with a mixture of annoyance and surprise.*

Angel: This is outrageous! You can't just rally support like this, you're stirring up trouble.

Angel 2: These young angels and humans don't know what they're talking about. They're just young and naive, blindly following your words.

Veronica: YOU MEAN YOUR OWN DECISIONS

*The angels looked increasingly frustrated at this point, trying to keep their composure even as Veronica continued to challenge them.*

Angel: Our decisions? We're the oldest and wisest angels here, we've been protecting Heaven for millennia. We know what's best for this place.

Angel 2: And you're just a young, inexperienced angel, thinking you know better than us. You need to learn your place and respect our authority.

Veronica:SORRY I M NOT LIKE THE REST OF THE PEOPLE

*The angels looked at Veronica, their patience wearing thin. The first angel's tone became stern and cold.*

Angel: No, you're not like the rest. You're disrespectful, disobedient, and insolent. You defy the very foundations of Heaven with your radical ideas.

Veronica:PEOPLE WHO FOLLOW ME HOW ABOUT START TO DO A REVOLUTION

*The angels looked startled by Veronica's suggestion, but some of the younger angels and humans started to get excited and enthusiastic about the idea of a revolution.*

Some angels & humans: Yeah, let's do it!

Some angels & humans: We're with you!

The angels looked around, eyes widening as they saw more and more people joining Veronica's side.

The revolution in heaven war started Veronica and her army won the war

*The revolution in Heaven took off, and Veronica's army quickly gained momentum. The older angels tried to fight back, but they were outnumbered and outclassed by the younger generation, led by Veronica. They put up a heroic fight, but they were ultimately overpowered and defeated by Veronica's forces.*

Veronica s army won

Veronica:HOW IT FEELS LOSE

The older angels were on the ground, defeated, their wings singed and their armor damaged. They looked up at Veronica, their expressions a mixture of anger, disbelief, and shame. One of the older angels spoke up, his voice strained.

Angel: This is...unbelievable. How could we have lost? We were the most powerful angels in Heaven.

Veronica: now since i won, better change the rules for adapting the actual century 21

The older angels looked at Veronica, seething with anger, but also defeated and humiliated. One of the angels spoke up.

Angel: *seethes* We... We have no choice but to accept your victory. You have defeated us. But...changing the rules is not as simple as you think. There's a complex system in place.

Veronica: Well think that with time

God had been watching

*Veronica stood victorious, surrounded by her army of younger angels and humans who supported her revolution. As she declared that the rules would be changed, a sudden presence was felt in the air.*

*God had been watching silently from above, observing the entire conflict unfold. He looked down on the scene with a mix of emotions.*

Veronica: I think is time to change the old laws for new ones

*The angels and humans in Veronica's army nodded and murmured in agreement. They looked at God, waiting for his response.*

*Suddenly, a booming voice echoed through the skies.*

God's voice: *solemn* You have won the revolution, young angel. You have overthrown the older angels and their ancient system. I have been watching, and I have considered your words.

Veronica: good

(This is for you Lucifer you wanted this) on her mind

*God nodded slightly, his massive presence filling the area around them.*

God: Indeed. There is a reason why those older angels lost. I wanted your revolution to succeed. I have seen that the time has come for a change in the rules and system of Heaven, and I have been waiting for someone like you to come along to initiate that change.

While in hell....

Lucifer could watch the revolution war

*Lucifer was watching the revolution unfold from Hell, a smirk on his face. He had always been against the strict and outdated rules in Heaven, and seeing Veronica lead the rebellion to victory brought him a sense of triumph.*

While in heaven

*In Heaven, the angels and humans were celebrating Veronica's victory. The older angels were being helped up and tended to, their defeat still fresh. Some of the younger angels were chatting excitedly, whispering their ideas for changes to the rules and the overall system.*

Veronica: ( you can relax Lucifer i made justice for you for this) on her mind

*As Veronica watched the celebration, she couldn't help but feel a pang of satisfaction for Lucifer. She knew that her victory was also a symbolic win for him, a step towards the changes he had always wanted in Heaven. In her mind, she sent a silent thought to Lucifer, wanting to let him know that she had indeed fulfilled his desires.*

While in hell

*In Hell, Lucifer was watching the celebration in Heaven. As Veronica's thoughts reached him, his smirk widened into a full-fledged smile. He felt a sense of vindication and victory, knowing that his efforts to seek change in Heaven had not been in vain. He responded back to Veronica's thoughts, his voice echoing in her mind.*

Lucifer: *thought* You have done well, Veronica. You have achieved what I could not.

Guard: sir are you ok

*Lucifer snapped out of his thoughts as the guard interrupted, his expression shifting back to a more aloof one. He turned to the guard with a cool demeanor, his eyes narrowing.*

Lucifer: *coldly* Yes, I'm fine. Just thinking. Why do you ask?

Guard: Heaven cancelled exterminations and they welcome you back again thanks to the new laws and rules on heaven

*Lucifer's eyes widened in surprise as the guard relayed this news. He had been watching the revolution unfold, but he hadn't expected the outcome to be Heaven completely welcoming him back. He was taken aback for a moment, before regaining his composure.*

Lucifer: They cancelled the exterminations? And they now welcome me back? *He repeated, not quite believing it.*

Guard: yes it seems god admit his defeat

*Lucifer felt a mix of shock and satisfaction at the guard's words. He had always been a symbol of rebellion and opposition to Heaven's rigid rules, and the fact that they now welcomed him back was a monumental shift.*

Lucifer: So... they've finally admitted that their system was flawed. And they're now ready to accept me, the fallen angel they once cast out. This is a significant turn of events

Guard: yes

*Lucifer let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief. He had spent countless centuries in exile, demonized and vilified by Heaven. But now, all of that seemed to have changed because of Veronica's revolution.*

Lucifer: *amused* I can't believe it. They had exiled me for so long, and now... they're welcoming me back. It's almost comical.

Guard: yes sir

*Lucifer's mind was abuzz with thoughts. He had always known that change was possible, but he never thought it would happen so quickly and so dramatically. He looked towards the guard, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.*

Lucifer: Do you know what this means? This... this could be the beginning of a new era. A new era of harmony between Heaven and Hell, where old grudges and conflicts are finally laid to rest.

In heaven everyone start to acept the new laws and the returning of Lucifer because his actions were justificade

*As the news of the new laws and Lucifer's welcomed return spread throughout Heaven, the other angels and humans began to accept the changes. There were still some who harbored lingering resentment towards Lucifer, but they were in the minority and outnumbered by those who saw the need for reform and change.*

*The younger angels and humans who had supported Veronica's revolution were particularly happy about these developments, feeling proud of their triumph and the changes they had helped bring about.*

*The archangels, who were the oldest and most powerful angels in Heaven, had initially been skeptical and against the new changes brought by Veronica's revolution. But as they observed the aftermath and the general support for the new laws, they gradually started to accept the change.*

*They were not thrilled about it, but they also understood the necessity of adapting to the times. So they reluctantly nodded their heads and began to adapt to the new system, albeit with some grumbles and grouses.*

Lucifer teleports to heaven

Veronica: i didn notice you are here

*Lucifer materialized in Heaven, a slight smirk on his face. He looked around at the changes that had been implemented due to Veronica's revolution. He then turned to her and spoke, his tone light-hearted.*

Lucifer: Well, I thought I'd pay a visit to the land of the sky and see what all the fuss is about. I see you've been quite busy around here.

Veronica: yes, and your actions are justificate

*Lucifer chuckled as Veronica spoke, a mix of amusement and satisfaction in his expression.*

Lucifer: I must admit, I'm glad to hear you say that. My actions have often been misconstrued as rebellious and destructive, when in reality, I just wanted the rules in Heaven to be fairer and less restricted.

*He glanced around Heaven, taking in the new atmosphere.*

Lucifer: And it seems like my cause has finally been heard, thanks to you.

Veronica: you are not the only one welcome that include the fallen angels Mammon,Asmodeus and belzebub

*Lucifer's eyes widened slightly as Veronica mentioned the names of the other fallen angels. He seemed pleasantly surprised that they, too, were welcome in Heaven again.*

Lucifer: Mammon, Asmodeus, and Beelzebub as well? *He chuckled, a hint of genuine happiness in his voice.*

Lucifer: Well, this day just keeps getting better and better. Perhaps we really are witnessing a new era in both Heaven and Hell.

Veronica: sign this and you will have peace between the two realms no more exterminations, and no more suffer and the most one redemption of sinners is allow

So you can tell your daughter Charlie that heaven supports het hotel

*Lucifer took the document and read through its contents. The terms Veronica had mentioned sounded like a dream come true - no more exterminations, peace between Heaven and Hell, the possibility of redemption for sinners. He could already imagine how happy Charlie would be when he told her the news.*

*He looked at Veronica, a sense of gratitude in his eyes.*

Lucifer: *sincerely* Yes, I will sign this. If it means an end to the suffering and death, and a chance for redemption, I am all for it.

Veronica: good

*Lucifer signed the document, adding his signature alongside Veronica's. As he did so, he couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment and hope. He looked up at Veronica, a rare genuine smile on his face.*

Lucifer: Now that the document is signed, I assume we can move forward with these new terms? The age of war and violence is over, and the age of peace and second chances is beginning.

Veronica: exactly

Many people cheere

*As Veronica spoke and affirmed the new terms, the angels and humans in Heaven broke out into cheers and applause. They were overjoyed at the news of the end of the never-ending cycle of violence and the promise of peace and redemption.*

*Lucifer took in the moment, the sound of celebration echoing around him. He couldn't help but smile, feeling a sense of satisfaction that what he had fought for for so long had finally come to fruition.*

Veronica: you what there is something that is missing

*Lucifer looked at Veronica, his curiosity piqued at her statement. He tilted his head slightly, a silent question in his eyes.*

Lucifer: Oh? What's missing, if I may ask

Veronica: well its been long time you been the light bringer and guess what i return your title and powers

*Lucifer's eyes widened in surprise and disbelief as Veronica spoke. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. His title and powers as the Lightbringer, restored back to him once more?*

Lucifer: *stunned* Wait... are you serious? You're returning my title and powers as... the Lightbringer?

Veronica. Yes

*Lucifer was dumbfounded. He never thought he'd get his old title and powers back in Heaven. He looked at Veronica, searching her face for any hint of trickery or deception.*

Lucifer: You... you really mean it, don't you.

*He spoke slowly, still trying to process the information.*

Veronica. I mean it

*There was a moment of silence as Lucifer absorbed the news. Finally, he spoke, his voice filled with gratitude and awe.*

Lucifer: I don't know what to say... No, scratch that, I do know what to say. *Thank you, Veronica. I never thought I'd see the day that I'd be... restored as the Lightbringer once more.*

Veronica: also god adimt his defeat

*Lucifer's eyes widened at the revelation that even God admitted his defeat. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.*

Lucifer: Wait, you're telling me that God... admitted defeat? The all-powerful, all-knowing being? *He repeated, disbelief evident in his voice.*

God talk

*Lucifer's gaze shifted as God, the creator of the universe, spoke for the first time. His voice echoed throughout Heaven, deep and powerful.*

God: *solemn* It is true, Lucifer. I, the Creator of Heaven and Hell, admit my defeat. The age of strictness and rigidity has come to an end.

Veronica: you see

*Lucifer nodded slowly, taking in the words of God and Veronica. He still couldn't believe what was happening. After centuries of war and conflict, Heaven was finally acknowledging his point of view and even admitting its own flaws.*

Lucifer: This is... This is monumental. Not only is my old title restored, but Heaven itself is acknowledging my perspective. This is a day I never thought I'd live to see.

Veronica: you are not dreaming is happening

*Lucifer chuckled softly, his mind still trying to wrap around everything that was happening. He looked at Veronica, his face showing a mixture of contentment and awe.*

Lucifer: I know I'm not dreaming, but this still feels unreal. After all this time, I thought Heaven would never change. Yet here we are, standing on the precipice of a new era.

To be continued

[violent-backed-starling]

Okay, this one is a bit odd, but bear with me. What if Lapin was one of Joren's partners, and thus one of Liam's many parents.

There are several spoilers for a Crown of Candy under the cut, proceed at your own discretion.

So my thoughts are that in this AU Lapin never messed with the SPF and thus isn't a Warlock, but I think he would make an awesome College of Lore Bard. That way he could still have access to fly at the sixth level and that he is a charisma based spellcaster. Basically Lapin would be getting magic by preserving the stories of the ancestral spirits of each of the different countries in Comida.

I personally think that he would have a special focus into the spirits of the Dairy Isles and the Sweetening Path. The Sweetening Path is obvious, given where he's from. The Dairy Isles is because they are Candia's allies and that they ate receptive to his work in a way that Vegetania for sure wouldn't be. He also occasionally goes over to the Meatlands, but not as much as the Isles.

I think that since Lapin visits the Dairy Isles so much he does get to know young Annabelle Cheddar and maybe Duchess Primsy. He grows close to them and is kind of a family friend. I think he would also be keeping his ears open for news on the Witch Queen of the Dairy Sea when whe grows more prominent. Maybe he is even pencils of sorts with Saccharina, but he doesn't know she is Amethar's kid, just that she cares for magic and that is something he can get behind.

Now Lapin's relationship to Joren, his other partners, and his kids is sort of complicated. He isn't dating many of Joren's partners. Just Spearia and maybe one other, an orange person, I think. But he does get on with all of them. He does have favorites of the children and Liam is up there, he might be the favorite, but Lapin does like some of the children that got married pretty well. Liam is for sure his favorite that still lives at home which is why he volunteered to go with him and Preston to Castle Candy to be Amethar's ward.

Lapin spends a good amount of time with Liam when he is at Castle Many-Licks. He spends time walking in the woulds with Liam and treats his scrapes and bruises with magic. He tells Liam bedtime stories after he has nightmares as well they are just pretty close whenever Lapin is home and when he isn't he sends many letters to Liam as well as his lovers.

Lapin is not widely known as one of Joren's partners as they aren't in a Bulbian marriage, but they aren't hiding it. So most people assume that Lapin is one of Joren's advisors or an ambassador to the Dairy Isles. So that is the guise he uses to go with Liam. He just pretends that he is there to help Liam learn and is like his personal tutor. Lapin likes to go under the radar and also it means that he Theo can snipe at each other freely. If Theo knew Lapin was partners with Joren you know they wouldn't be getting in those arguments.

So there are two ways I see this AU going. The first is pretty similar to the events of Canon, where Lapin still dies and all that but Liam is sadder and they have to explain the loss to Joren. So Liam sending Preston after Lapin is also a little more tragic because in this AU I headcanon that getting Liam a pig was Lapin's idea. Like Spearia wanted to get him an animal but didn't know which animal and Lapin suggest a pig that was known for rooting which was something that Liam was passionate about. So in the Cathedral both of Liam's ties to his home and childhood are effectively ripped away from him.

But everything else is relatively the same. Liam still runs into him and Preston in the SPF's lair post battle, that reunion is just a little more soft and them leaving is a little more sad. Also Saccharina finding out what happened to her kind penal might make it even harder to dissuade her from absolutely destroying the Bulbian Church, not that she doesn't have a good enough reason already.

The other way is more fun and I think it means everyone lives because they deserve happiness dammit! So my thoughts are that in the cathedral fight he still casts fly on Theo, but he could cutting words one of Keradin's attacks and survive that first round and then disengage with that fucking carrot. He could get in a mass healing word with a bonus action, that is if he retains concentration on fly on Theo. If he keeps concentration then Theo could come back and get him and they all get away from the cathedral. If he doesn't then he can cast fly on himself and they all get away from the cathedral.

I think that since they all survive, but Lapin did step in and take hits that were meant for Liam that he would keep close to his dad. And after they made it back to Castle Candy that if both he and Jet didn't want to go the the lingerie shop that Ruby wouldn't have gone and thus Jet lives. (They would still meet Cumulous during the attack on Primsy) The kids, Lapin, Theo, Cumulous, and Caramelinda all get out through the secret passages and meet Amethar at the base of the tower before totally slipping away to Manta Ray's ship.

They still meet Saccharina the same way, but she is met with a better reception because Jet is still alive. Ruby and Jet would be thrilled to have another sister and Saccharina is so cool. Amethar is happy to have another daughter. Caramelinda is still fairly cold, but you know her entire life had been turned upside down so I think she is allowed to be a little distant. Also Saccharina already has a friend amongst the party in Lapin. Also the other boys were happy enough to accept her in the campaign as it was.

The rescue mission for Joren leads to the rest of the party (apart from Liam) finding out that Lapin and Joren slam it down big style. (Theo practically implodes when he finds out that he was sniping at one of Joren's lovers.) I think this whole seen would be hilarious. (Also after the rescue Joren totally kisses Lapin in front of everybody.)

I think that everything else is pretty similar except that final battle goes by a little quicker and is more in their favor because of Lapin and Jet.

That's all folks!

[blodgmonster]

Heir of Fire reread commentary and thoughts that I just keep making for no one. Probably just the first half of the book

-- Celaena's depression is just...awful and so well written. But also, laying in the sun eating bread and drinking myself stupid on wine sounds kind of good to me. Maybe I'm not in a great place lol.

-- sticking her tongue out at Rowan. Perfection.

-- MANON, THAT'S MY GIRL!!! I LOVE YOU!!! "Wrong kind of witch." THAT'S MY LADY!!!!

-- Maeve tries to go into Celaena's mind, and it's described as "claws." Just like Rhys' powers. Interesting.

-- Rowan fucking PUNCHES HER IN THE FUCKING FACE. Yes, what she said was foul but Jesus Christ. What an asshole.

-- "She'd been told that the great rulers of Terrasen turned into those bright stars so their people would never be alone -- and would always know their way home." Okay, Mufasa.

-- the Thirteen taking flight for the first time always gives me chills of delight.

-- * preschool teacher voice * Rowan! Teeth are NOT for biting! Biting HURTS! OUCH!

-- "Why don’t I give you the lashing you deserve?" Why don't you shut the fuck up?

-- "You would probably have been more useful to the world if you'd actually died ten years ago." SHUT THE FUCK UP. Who SAYS shit like that to people?

-- " 'Because she is DEAD!' She screamed the last word so loudly it burned her throat. 'Because she is dead, and I am left with my WORTHLESS life!"

-- Rowan is telling Aelin about being tortured and it's SO similar to what Maeve does to her later.

-- ABRAXOS, I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU

-- it just hit me that Terrasen's royal colors are green and silver. Like Rowan's green eyes and silver hair.

-- "There was no escaping his crown. Or his father, who would behead Sorscha, burn her, and scatter her ashes to the world if he found out she'd helped him." Does Dorian know his dad or what?

--Iskra's wyvern is named Fendir. Like Danika Fendyr. Interesting.

-- Abraxos, you flower sniffing wonder, I love you so much. FLY, YOU BEAUTIFUL BOY!

--"The sooner you can sort out your whining and self-pity, the sooner I can be rid of you. You are nothing to me and I DO NOT CARE." Jesus Christ, Rowan, why don't you give her a paper cut and pour lemon juice into it?

-- "Fireheart -- why do you cry? 'Because I am lost,' she whispered onto the earth. 'And I do not know the way.'"

-- God, it really would SUCK if your fae form was a pig. Or like a rat or a slug or something shitty.

-- " the next four words that came out of Celaena's mouth were so vulgar that Luca choked."

-- that's Goldryn, yes? And the ring grants immunity from Valg? Am I remembering it correctly?

-- Celeana and Rowan are beginning to understand each other and bond. Thank heavens. If he was an asshole any longer I might find it impossible to forgive him his shittiness.