#you love to see it folks

[todayisyourturntolose]

there are so many layers to this video

[cirrus-grey]

[chloesimaginationthings]

These clown animatronics in FNAF wild as hell..

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[soupacool]

I hope Jason NotJustBikes knows that he is probably one of the most effective propagandists of our time (complimentary)

[braisedhoney]

fighting back? against who? they're so happy—they've been waiting for you.

you are wonderful. don't you know that?

bonus: they play sims together :)

[benevolenterrancy]

("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)

[witchofthemidlands]

daemon's tripping balls & rhaenyra's kissing women in his absence. absolutely unhinged behaviour. 10/10 episode. one simply does not care about the plot. rhaenyra's a confirmed girl kisser, that's all that matters here.

[qkmlh]

I’m a simple soul

I see a hot blooded trauma fueled man with an ego and daddy issues become an unwilling single mother who then steps up after multiple trials and errors to grow into a proper parent that fights tooth and nail for his daughter AND face said daddy issues head on for the betterment of his child thus reconciling and healing his own relationship with his father and bringing an enthusiastic grandpa into the mix

and I crumble

[lunamay3]

Loveless folks: *exist*

Folks who do love: So you’re inherently evil. So you’re inhuman. So you’re doomed to be sad and miserable. So you’re inherently abusive. So you’re lying and I’ll prove that you actually love something. So you’re broken. So you’re bullying people who want to be happy. So you don’t care about other people. So you shouldn’t be allowed around other people. So you’re inherently a self-centered asshole.

Loveless folks:… Are y’all sure love makes you “good” and “happy” people?

[alevens]

zolu is maybe one of the easiest ships i've ever liked. they're dating, except when they're not, they're best friends even when they're kissing and they're still captain and first mate when they aren't. they hold hands, they hug. they have sex. they don't.

Luffy can hold Zoro's katanas and Zoro can hold Luffy's strawhat and no one bats an eye. one says "You're so cool!" and the other says "You're strong" and it's just another way to say "I see you, this is why I follow you/this is why I trust you". it's not seeing each other for a long time and still knowing how the other's steps sound like against wood and sand. the captain runs and the first mate follows. it's always "Zoro and the others" and "Where's Luffy?"

if they're just friends, if they're something more, if they don't have a label for it, at its core, it's just about how they get each other. they understand how the other's mind works. however you view them, it doesn't erase they fact that they love each other in a way they don't love other people.

[probablyasocialecologist]

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Week 270. Today we are striking in solidarity with Palestine and Gaza. The world needs to speak up and call for and immediate ceasefire, justice and freedom for Palestinians and all civilians affected.

[royalarchivist]

Fit: You know, I've been just avoiding social media today, 'cuz here's the thing– You know, it's just- it's gonna be a non-stop stream of just misinformation and craziness, it's just better to just wait for the actual results rather than looking at polls and sht like that, you know? So it's just like– you know. Tune it out until the evening hours, anyways. I mean, we might not even know who wins until tomorrow. That's how it goes sometimes, so I guess we'll see what happens, you know?

Fit: That's right, we're distracting ourselves today, we're gonna do some fishing. We're gonna do some fishing, keep it simple, you know what I'm saying?

Fit: [Reading chat] Exactly, focus on what you can control, not what you can't control, am I right?

—

Fit offers advice to everyone who's feeling election anxiety today.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Having the Pool Dream again, handsome?

[mickules]

Do you want art of a beloved blorbo? Will you risk a tricksy trick for the chance?

🎃 Let's play a Halloween ask game 🎃

Here are the rules!

Send me a 'Trick or Treat' ask to my askbox with a halloweeny emoji and the name of one character!

Be creative! any given character will only get the chance to be drawn ONCE, multiples will all be collected together. Is there a fave you legit NEVER see art of? Chuck their name into the ring! Doesn't have to be someone I've ever drawn before, all bets are off!

Asks will be collected from NOW [12:00 noon GMT] for 24 hours, [until Oct 29th 12:00 noon GMT] when the ask box will be closed!

Every ask is going to get a number. EVENS or ODDS will determine if it is a TRICK or a TREAT. It will be a straight 50:50 shot!

Treats will get a little pic of their character! Tricks will get some miscellaneous sweeties!

Tricks and Treats will be posted on Halloweeen! (tho do bare with me, I am but one man, and I've no idea how many asks this'll get)

Happy Halloweeeen! Best of Luck~

[unworldlycreature]

Hmm, anyways I'd love actually if White Man Obsession would pause for a bit for other things of equal if not more quality and worth.

...in other words, Dropout if you're out there please bring Aabria back to the dome?