#you look back through the years of messages with my partner and you'll find so many instances of autocorrect hating me personally

[bookwyrminspiration]

quil are you. are you okay.

hey why would you immortalize my spelling mishap like that. why would you do that to silly ol me. don't you know of the long history of bloodshed and violence and suffering and war autocorrect and I have with one another? (all jokes)

SECONDLY! I fully admitted in those very tags that I know I'm wrong I know the canon pronunciation provided to us directly from shannon is OR-uh-lee I know it's wrong just like I know cyrah is pronounced see-rah and refuse to stop pronouncing it kai-rah. every day I wake up knowing I'm so so wrong and just live like that because it's been eight years of mispronunciation at this point I've just accepted it

so yes, yes I am okay. I'm wrong and will continue to be wrong but i'm okay :)

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

MidnightsWithDearKatyTSPB’s Recommendation List: March PT. 2

Welcome to part 2 of March’s recommendation list. Down below, you can find the link to take you back to part 1 featuring Peaky Blinders, Frankie Morales from Triple Frontier, Frank Castle, and the works that I posted. I still have some specialists that I’m traveling to go see, so there might not be 32 links this time around, but we’ll have to wait and see. The goal for March is to write another chapter In This Heart and rewrite The Spark. If you are interested in having your writing challenges featured here, or your stories, or even just your blog, please feel free to tag me in your works, message me, or use the hashtag MidnightWithDearKatyTSPB. I hope you are having an amazing March and you didn’t have such a hard time springing ahead. 

☘️ March '23 Pt. 1

April '23 Pt. 1 🌸

Masterlist

37 of 44 Years (Moodboard) ... Dedication to my parents.

All For You My Daisy (Moodboard) >> Garret Hedlund, Pedro Pascal, and Tommy Shelby

Begin Again (Moodboard) >> Ted Lasso x OFC!Penny Fletcher | Moodboard made for @teds-mustache-wrangler story Begin Again.

Innocence and Sadness (Moodboard) >> Arthur Shelby ... dedicated to @cillmequick

Peaky x Lana Challenge (Moodboard) >> Alfie Solomons x Reader x Tommy Shelby | “I’ve got a black limousine and two gentlemen who escort me through these halls.” 

Two Broken Souls (Moodboard) >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Estella Holland | “Come, Josephine in my flying machine. Going up, she goes, up she goes.”

Update//Calm Down by All Time Low (Moodboard) >> Garrett Hedlund, Luke Grimes, and Pedro Pascal

ONE-SHOTS:

As His Daughter by @sneakyblinders >> Dad!Tommy Shelby x Reader ft. Daughter!Kate Shelby - Summery: As Kate Shelby becomes an older sister yet again, she realizes she doesn't really know her father. Her mother is on a mission to change that. | You'll go through the emotions with this one, I promise. For those who need the warning, there are mentions of childbirth!

Loving Girl by @valentine-in-my-quinjet >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: You've always known you would be a better partner for Tommy. After Grace died, you had to reassess your motivations for being close to Tommy because he needed a friend more than ever before. | You will need a tissue with this one. TW: Suicide Mentioned

Make Your Heart My Home by @look-at-the-soul >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summery: Y/N hasn't had the best life. In fact, she's physically running from it into the physical arms of one Tommy Shelby, who saves her. | Read this, get a little emotional, but fall in love with its ending.

Mr. Girraffe by @teenwolf-theoriginals >> Dad!Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Florence's giraffe gets lost in Johnny Dogs camp. | The family dynamic in this is quite adorable, and I love how sweet Tommy is as well.

The Perfect Team by @runnning-outof-time >> Arthur Shelby x Reader - Summary: Arthur's ability to reason with (Y/N)'s child has them realizing that they work rather well together. | This is absolutely adorable and light-hearted, definitely recommend reading it.

'Teach You a Lesson by @celticmelody >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: you’re soon to marry Thomas Shelby, the infamous horseman amongst the gangsters in Birmingham. however, when he finds out you’ve never ridden before, he makes it a task to teach you… amongst other lessons that unravel afterwards. | If all riding lessons with Tommy were to end this way, I would take them every day as well. 🥵

When One Heart Breaks The Other, Follows by @little-diable >> Tommy Shelby x Reader | Summary: Tommy has been at war for months, and the only thing the reader can cling to is the letters he kept writing. Until the day when he no longer writes to her, when she no longer knows if he's alive or not. All until one last letter finds its way to her. | I've been emotional lately, okay? So did I need tissues when I read this? Yes! But was I smiling by the end? YES!

SERIES:

*A Different Sort of Man Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 by @evita-shelby >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Eva, Canon!Tommy x Grace Burgess - Summary: Or where Eva plays around with magic, and Tommy wakes up in a universe where Grace is his wife. While in that universe, Tommy discovers just how different his life would have been if he had pursued the pretty witch in 71 Watery Lane. | My mother always warned me growing up to never fiddle with magic, but this just makes me want to... Only two chapters in, and it's so good. The switching of points of view is everything I could have asked for.

The Photographer // Part 13 by @midnightmagpiemama >> Modern!Tommy Shelby x Photographer!Reader - Summary: Hired to take pictures of your boyfriend's cousin's wedding, you are excited to spend the night in the presence of your boyfriend doing what you love. The night, however, doesn't go as according to plans. Or, the one where Gina and Micheal get married, Gina sits Lizzy at Tommy's table. And people have opinions on your relationship with Tommy. | Erin is such a fantastic writer, and I truly love this series. In this chapter, she just captures Tommy and Polly so beautifully.

A Royal Wedding of Small Heath Part 1 // Part 2 by @sneakyblinders >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Tommy is getting married in what the newspaper is calling The Royal Wedding of Small Heath with the announcement of their engagement. It's fitting, as his wife is his Queen. | If I had to picture my wedding to Tommy, this is exactly how I would want it to go. I love how some parts came straight from the TV show. It was just perfect.

Welcome to Downtown, Mr. Shelby by @notyour-valentine >> Tommy Shelby x Crawley!OC - Summary: He was born on a boat, with neither of his parents sure of the date after the fact, unregistered and unlisted until he went to fight for his country. Her birth had been celebrated with the ringing of church bells, champagne toasts, and announcements in newspapers on both sides of the Atlantic. Their worlds could not have been more different, and perhaps that was why, when Thomas Shelby looked at Lady Charlotte Crawley, he saw more than her title, more than her looks- he saw an opportunity. | Enjoyed reading this and emerging myself into this little world, and look forward to what is to come for Charlotte and Tommy.

SERIES:

*Push & Pull // Chapter 4: Coming Of Age by @milkymoon2483 >> Frank Castle X Plus Size Jewish OC Hannah Friedman - Summary: You’re going back to your small town for your father’s funeral and Shiva. You know you’re about to face family drama, but what worries you the most is that you’re going to see HIM, your dad’s long-time friend and probably the most attractive man you have ever met.  When Frank finally sees you and realizes that you're all grown up, he struggles with accepting his budding feelings for you. | This chapter had me feeling so many emotions. You start with a stomach drop, then you feel so sad, and then you end it on a great high, needing a tall glass of water to cool down. Anna knows how to make you feel every emotion that the main character is going through at every moment of the chapter. That is a true talent.

Triple Frontier:

🍑 Appeteaser Benny Miller + Shower Sex by @dameronscopilo >> Benny Miller x Reader - Summary: Benny comes home after a long day and enjoys some time with his girl. | Let me just say this is really hot, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Here With Me by @pasukiyo >> Frankie Morales x f!reader - Summary: When your husband promises it will only be one week, your gut tells you it won't, you beg him to stay if not just for you, but for your family. (Horrible summary by me) | This starts off so sad and emotional, and it ends on a spicy note. It's perfect.

A Proposition by @dameronscopilot >> Santiago "Pope" Garcia x f!reader x Benjamin "Benny" Miller - Summary: Benny returns to Florida after six months of backpacking his way across Australia, and the surf and sun have treated him well. Very well. You can't help but notice. ...Santiago thinks that maybe it's time for the two of you to change things up in the bedroom. Because if he's going to share you with anyone, it's most certainly going to be Benjamin Miller | Is it just me, or is it really HOT in here right now? 🥵 I think I better go open the window after reading this one.

Untitled Sick!fic with Benny by @dameronscopilot >> Benny Miller x Reader - Summary: benny knows exactly what you need when you're sick—in more ways than one. | If Benny ever wants to come to take care of me like this when I'm sick, or now even, he's more than welcome.

"Wear whatever you want, I can fight." by @plaguedoctorsmistress >> Benny Miller x Reader - Summary: When your boyfriend can’t seem to do anything but whine about your outfit, Benny’s jealousy finally gets the best of him, and he takes matters into his own hand. | Benny can defend my honor any day and call me princess all he wants.

*The Wedding Party by @goodwithcheese >> Frankie Morales x f!reader - Summary: Series Summary: A combined bachelorette/bachelor party introduces you to a brown-eyed pilot. | I loved this series so much that I read it in one night on AO3 when I came across it. I'm so glad it came up on my dashboard so I could share it with you guys here. It's both fluffy and sexy!

You Again?! by @theunbearableweightofpedropascal >> Benny Miller x Reader - Summary: You keep running into the guy you had sex with in an airport bathroom. | If you looking for some good spiciness and a mixture of giggles, this one is for you.

CILLIAN MURPHY:

Chances Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, & Part 4 by @creativepawsworld >> Cillian Murphy x OFC!Paige - Summary: A single mother meets an unlikely lover after a concert. Putting herself out of her comfort zone. Can she find herself a mate for life? | The story has everything in it, fluff, a little bit of angst, and some spiciness.

Quicky by @peakyscillian >> Cillian Murphy x Fem!Reader - Summary: Cillian just can't wait. | If you are looking for something romantic, hot, and with a dash of laughter, this is it.

GERALT OF RIVIA:

Late Bloomer by @cherienymphe >> Alpha!Geralt x Omega!Reader - Summary: Geralt of Rivia saves you from more than just a werewolf attack. | Sometimes, a one-shot is so good you share it twice with your followers. I'm pretty sure I shared it when I first started doing recommendations, and I'm sharing it again.

PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS:

Chokehold by @psychedelic-ink >> Joel Miller x Reader x Ezra - Summary: Joel’s frustrations run deep; to him, you were a twisted source of purity; touching you forced him to think, forced him to feel. But not Ezra. With him, he could do anything. A scary yet also exhilarating feeling. Or alternatively: You wake up to Joel and Ezra having sex. | The emotions you feel while reading this are just too good for me not to share.

I Forgot About Time and Space by @psychedelic-ink >> Ezra x Fem!Reader - Summary: You cook for Ezra's guests, and seeing the sight of you being so domestic awakens something in him. | The smut in this *chef's kiss* and the plot in general. Please read this when you are alone. You'll thank me later.

*The Infinity Cube by @littlemisspascal >> Marcus Pike x Reader ft. Various Pedro Characters - Summary: When you play with a strange cube, you’re transported out of your current reality with your boyfriend Marcus into brand new ones starring alternate versions of your boyfriend who look and act entirely different every time. With each encounter, you start to wonder if you’ll ever make it back to your real universe? | Such a good use of the Multiverse and it introduced me to characters that Pedro played that I haven't yet watched. Rae does an amazing job keeping you at the edge of your seat and passing off such deep emotions. It's a must read for Pedro Pascal fans.

*Meet The Millers by @musings-of-a-rose >> Joel Miller x Benny Miller x Will Miller x f!reader - Summary: Moving into the Boston Quarantine Zone after nearly 20 years on the outside takes some adjusting. A misdirection one night guides you to the 3 men who will change the course of your life. | This series has a little bit of everything from drama to love and spiciness. There isn't much more you could ask for out of this series other than wishing for more.

When You're Reading Me by @psychedelic-ink >> Joel Miller x Reader - Summary: If you had to make a list of things Joel Miller might buy you as a gift— nipple clamps would not be a part of it. | *Internally screams* This was really hot, and I think I'll go grab a cold shower now.  

STRANGER THINGS:

The Grief of Losing Eddie Munson by @eufezco >> Steve Harrington x Reader - Summary: Best friends with Eddie Munson, the reader goes through the stages of grief of losing her best friend with her family at her side. | Someone pass me the box of tissues. This was so good. I cried through almost the whole thing.

MOODBOARDS:

My Luck by @forgottenpeakywriter >> Tommy Shelby x Reader

My Sun, My Moon and All My Stars by @zablife >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Aurora Sabini | Lee puts together a breathtakingly beautiful moodboard for a what-if scenario in the Peaky Blinders universe. It leaves you wanting to read more and more for the couple.

Your Bread by @forgottenpeakywriter >> Alfie Solomons x Reader

Your Eyes by @forgottenpeakywriter >> Tommy Shelby x Reader

You Like That by @dearshelby >> Tommy Shelby x Reader | Tall glass of cold water to cool down, please!

@psychedelic-ink - SIL, is such an amazing writer, writing most recently for Pedro Pascal's characters and sharing her amazing works with us here. Her masterlist includes more than just Pedro's characters, having written for the MCU and Oscar Isaac, to name a couple. I love the emotions you feel through every piece of writing she puts out, and I have yet to find a piece I don't like. I think you'll find you like or perhaps love her writing just as much as I do.

@shelbydelrey - Isa is a Peaky Blinder writer whose work I enjoy reading and love seeing the moodboards she puts out as well. I would definitely give Isa a follow because she brings positivity to your dashboard with her reviews and welcoming spirit.

[moodymisty]

Anything involving wrecker cuddling probably watching a movie and cuddling with his partner 😊

Author's Note: Stamped, approved, etching it to stone because I am sold on this cuteness. It's been raining a ton recently and I love it, so time for rainy day cuddles. Wrecker would absolutely be the king of snuggles, both in body and mind <3

Relationships: Wrecker/Gn!Reader

Warnings: None, it's just pure fluff

Thunder cracks outside, the lightning having just flashed bright enough to light up the windows only moments ago.

This storm is intense, by far the most intense of the year, and it would be quite reasonable to say your plans to enjoy some time at a festival on one of the higher levels is, more than a little bit canceled. Raindrops smack against the window, streaking down so much it's distorting the colors of the brightly colored lights smattering the buildings you can see throughout the city.

Wrecker is not going to be fond of this news in the slightest; Especially since the two of you have been waiting for this for days now. Their 'estimate' for how long this current deployment would take had lined up perfectly, and you'd actually gone as far to pick out what you wanted to wear in advance, but now you'll more than likely end up putting it away for another, sunnier day.

Snatching your datapad off the table you decide to send him a message, to see if he's planet-side or not. If he is; Well, he'll be able to see himself why the festival is off.

-Hey Wreck, you on Coruscant yet?-

Wrecker rarely if ever has his datapad on him, it's faster often to message Tech than it is him; Though this time it doesn't seem to be the case. When you see he's finally responded to you it's impossible not to smile. Even just his written word makes your heart beat a little bit faster.

-Nah, we'll be there in a few hours though. Been counting each one.-

You've been too; Maybe it's a side effect of being so hopelessly in love.

-Well, I kinda got some bad news for when you get back...-

Wrecker responds to you almost instantly, sounding so obviously worried even if you can't hear his voice.

-Are you ok?! Nothing happened right?-

-No no! Nothing bad! I'm fine, big guy.- You really wish you'd worded that better in hindsight; You know he worries. Even if you find the idea of him doing so silly.

-It's been storming all day and it's supposed to go through to tomorrow. We're getting almost half of our usual rainfall in one night.

-So, needless to say; Festival's canceled.-

It's not the news you want to give since you've both been excited to for this, and to spend some time together outside of the Marauder, or the clone base when you manage to get a visitor's pass. But the weather has decided to be far less than friendly to your pursuit of a romantic time, much to both you and Wrecker's chagrin.

-Seriously? Aww come on, I was waiting for that all this time!-

You were too; More than a little bit.

But, there's an idea in your head that might be way better than walking through a tightly knit crowd all day. It just needs a little bit of setup, and since Wrecker is still a few hours out, you have some time to do so.

-Come over to my place once you're free. I think I have something way more fun that we can do instead. Tell Tech to land you all safe.-

Sitting your datapad back down you turn around and look at the room, debating how to best conquer the idea you have in your mind. All the while thunder cracks in the sky again as you decide to start with your couch, getting on your knees and giving it a good push. Once it's out of the way you do the same with anything else close by, until there's a giant open space in the middle of the room.

All you need now is to steal every pillow and blanket you can find, hauling them all over and making a huge nest out of it all on the floor.

It's a mess, a giant one, but it sure does look comfortable. You just need some food and drinks to go with it, grabbing them all and sitting them close by the pile. You and Wrecker can decide on what to watch when he gets here; But at least for now, the setup is complete.

You just have to wait, and hope he doesn't have any trouble getting up to your floor this time. The last time you almost got into a fight with the receptionist over not letting your abit, very loud, very large, and very upset clone past.

But maybe Tech landed them faster than usual, or perhaps he didn't get caught up in the side effects of some sort of bureaucratic nonsense, as it's less time than you'd expect before you hear his footsteps in the hall even before he knocks, and you're at the door just as he does so. There's barely a chance to even say hello before he is on you, arms around your waist and hauling you off the ground. He laughs at the way you yelp from suddenly being in the air, now at face level with him.

"Wrecker! I missed you!" Your hands cup the sides of his face, pressing your lips against his own in an eager, sloppy kiss. When he pulls back, you feel the stubble on his jaw rub against your palms.

"Not as much as I missed you. Didn't even get into any trouble this time so I could get here early."

Who'd of thunk it; Wrecker, going down the straight and narrow. Even just for a little bit. You're sure he'll be back to blowing up way more blasting material than he's allotted in no time.

"But what's all this?" Wrecker says, as he gently puts your feet back on the floor.

He looks over the mess you've created, a big smile still plastered on his face. You move aside and close the door, and also throw a hand at your creation.

"Since it's so stormy outside and the festival is canceled, how about we just hunker down and watch some holofilms? I got snacks and everything." Wrecker is an energetic man, but you know he enjoys a good long while of relaxation even more than you do.

"Mind if I clean up and get out of this junk first?" He gestures to his armor, and you're more than happy to oblige his request.

More, than happy. You love this man more than anything; But gods does deployment make him smell less than flowery.

"Have at it; The place is yours." His helmet has been in his hand this whole time as he steals another kiss from your lips, before walking past you as he begins pulling at the seams of his armor. It'll all get piled somewhere, left to be dealt with later as he disappears into your refresher.

You hear the sound of the shower kicking on, not long after you sit down on your giant pile of blankets and steal a small bite of one of the snacks you'd put out while you wait for him.

Wrecker has a small spot in your closet of clothes you've mostly bought him; Largely casual clothes like sweatpants and long sleeve shirts. He had originally complained about you buying them, even if they'd barely costed anything; And well worth him being a little more comfortable in something other than his GAR standard body glove. He also seems to like them, as more than once he's worn them back to the Marauder; And also has had to fight to keep one of his brothers from stealing them when he's in his armor and his back is turned.

Wrecker comes back out of your refresher wearing some casual sweatpants and a shirt, quickly noticing you're already comfortable and waiting for him. He makes a quick line right for you, sitting down as close to you as he possibly can.

His skin is still warm from the hot water; He smells like fresh soap and uniquely 'Wrecker' instead of like soot and dirt.

Resting his back against the edge of the couch, you feel him pull you into his side, his arm wrapped tightly over your shoulders.

"Comfy?" He jokes, feeling you squeeze yourself deeper into his side and a hand against his stomach.

"Yep." He laughs when you say it so casually, enunciating the p with a soft pop of your lips. Now you just have to decide what to watch, and everything will be perfect.

Tugging a blanket overtop of your legs, and with Wrecker right here you're warm and content; The storm now seeming more like a blessing that a curse.

Join the taglist here: @seriowan @starborncyare @simp-legend @nekotaetae @chad-something @coffeyorky @merkitty49 @lokigirlszendaya @totesnothere04 @get-wr3ckered @rebel-finn

[deepperplexity]

Prompt 21: Star Of Wishes [B8]

Pairing: Snape x Fem!OC

POV: First, OC

Setting: OC’s home -> Severus’s hidden place

Continuation of: Prompt 2. Restless Waiting, 3. Snowballing, 7. Stormy Reunion,  8. Rosemary For Holly, 16. Keep Warm, 19. Hope & 20. Returning Home

A/N: TODAY WE WRAP UP SEVERUS’ STORY! I’m super drained, tbh, but I so loved writing this part and giving everyone that HEA even if it doesn’t happen until the very end so to say 😂🙈 We do get some lovely smut though, hope you'll enjoy the emotional ride of the intimacy too 🤭 This might be the last long fic for the year. I have 0 time, I have no idea how I’m gonna be able to write the next 3 fics and get them up but I’ll manage somehow 😂 I still don’t know what prompt 23 and 24 will be this year, I do know that tomorrows prompt will be the one I use to wrap up Turpin’s story — how, I have no idea yet. We’ll see 😂👍

+A/N: This part of the serial contains a relationship dynamic in the beginning that can be extremely toxic and dangerous when real, but this is FICTION, and as the author I have created this relationship with the intention of it being trauma-healing, safe, loving, and no harm have or will come to any of the characters due to the relationship or any acts of either of the characters. If you feel this relationship matches yours, PLEASE take a step back and really evaluate if you are in a dangerous relationship - if your partner is treating you in a manner that isn’t loving or safe.

Tags/TW’s: Kisses, embracing, Harsh and Soft Touching, Apologising For Ones Behaviour, Slight Snark, Trying Ones Best, Stunted Emotional Development, Confessions of Regret/Hurt/Anger/Fear/Pain/Lacking Knowledge/Love/Affection/Trust, Explicit Description, Dark Sexual Past, Gentle and Caring Touches, Hints At Past Sexual Abuse/Coercion/Rape (not graphic or described),

Word Count: 4.7k

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

It had been over seven months since the day I thought my heart would stop. The day I found him more dead than alive in the Shrieking Shack. The day a strange little elf was sent to me with a message from someone a mere boy, which led me to find the man I loved so broken — poisoned, snake venom slithering through his veins no magic could have stopped. But my mom, she stopped it. My mom, a muggle who the Dark Lord so much detested, had won over his own snake.

The year had passed in a blurry ordeal of pain, love, recovery, and healing. But still, there was so much healing needed I could barely wrap my head around it. Christmas was upon us, and I hadn’t the heart to decorate our home. The home we ended up sharing, just me and Severus. At first, it was to get away from everyone and give him a chance to heal, but it changed about a month ago. A month ago, it became something different, an emotional journey for the two of us one could say. Spewed words of hatred, panic attacks through dark nights, long stretches of time without a word spoken from him, my dear broken man.

I didn’t give up, yet yesterday, when he’d so viciously barked at me about the time I’d decorated his office and how stupid I’d been to do such a thing — well, something broke in me. I hadn’t decorated our home, I hadn’t put up anything related to Christmas despite it being the 21st of December now and my most loved holiday. I’d simply allowed our home to remain barren, for his sake, as he seemed to hate the holiday with a vengeance unlike any I’d ever seen.

“I’ll take a walk,” I called through the little house, not expecting any response. The cold winter air greeted me but there was no wind, not a sound from beyond the bubble the little house sat in at the very end of a clearing in some ancient forest I still had no idea of the location of. I could only apparate there since I knew what it looked like.

My heart ached for the man left behind in the house while stepping into the night. No matter what, I wouldn’t give up on him. He had every right to be broken, hurt, lost — but sometimes I had to take some time for myself to find the strength and courage I needed to go on when his hatred and pain shined too brightly. Sometimes, I was the only one around he could lash out against and even if it hurt beyond anything else to hear such foul words in his voice directed at me, I still loved him more than anything and the nights when I held him tight I just knew it would pass. Eventually, time would heal his wounds and I’d still be there. I would never abandon him, something I knew he feared above all else yet he always showed I was free to come and go as I pleased. He knew what it was to be trapped, he didn't wish that for me in any sense of the word.

The snow crunched beneath my shoes, I slipped on my mittens and shoved my hands into my coat’s pockets while walking ahead. Above me, just before I left the clearing and the trees would obscure the sky, I saw the little stars speckling the darkness. I paused for a second to just look at the enormity of the universe, to get perspective perhaps, or simply allow myself to think of how small things can mean so much in the enormity of it all. A falling star streaked by, and I couldn’t help but close my eyes and send a wish to it. It was a childish thing to do perhaps, but I wished for Severus to allow me to help him and be close with him. Some day it might come true, he’s trying already…

I walked around for nearly two hours, until my toes were numb and my cheeks beyond chilly. Just breathing, imagining a happy Christmas with him. “In the future, when he’s healed… Maybe then…” I murmured to myself as I stomped off my boots and stepped back into our little home.

I lost my breath.

When I left, the house had been dark, dreary, void of all things Christmas but now… Now there were decorations everywhere. Eternally burning candles, perfectly green garlands, golden ornaments, and red bows littered every surface, door frame, and window. The house had turned into a Christmas-littered haven perfectly decorated to my own taste, almost as I had decorated Severus’s office a year ago — just slightly different colours.

“What in the world,” I whispered as I dragged off my fluffy mittens and shrugged out of my coat. “S-Severus! I don’t mean to alarm you but I think Santa broke in!” I called, my brain not able to think of another reason why our house looked like Christmas heaven. “No, love,” he murmured as he appeared in the doorway to the living room beyond the hallway I was moving through. “I am apologizing,” he continued and the sweet look of guilt and hope covering his features made my heart ache.

“Severus, what-, why?” I asked as he straightened and reached for my hand to tug me into his arms. I followed without any resistance. I always wanted to be in his arms, one of the many things I always wished for while I nursed him back to health physically after my mom had saved his life. “I said dreadful things.” “You’re trying, Sev.” “No, you are trying, Linna—” he exhaled the words into my hair “—and I’m constantly making it harder for you.” “Healing takes time, Sev. It takes time.” “It gives me no right to take it out on you, you have done nothing but stand by me.” “I always will, I won’t abandon you.” “I almost wish you would, it would be easier to be in misery than… deal with it all.” “Oh, stop, you’re a strong man, you can deal with it.” “Love, you overestimate my abilities, and underestimate your importance…”

For a long moment, I said nothing, just thought about his words — the sweet ones he now spoke and the hurtful ones that came out when we tried to process his trauma. It wasn’t easy to stay, wasn’t easy to take it and not retort or yell or scream or cry. But the hardest thing I had ever done was stay away from him, nothing else came close to it.

“Will you forgive me?” he asked, his voice low and nearly that of someone frightened. “I-, Severus… you don’t need my—” “Your forgiveness is the only one I need.” “I won’t forgive you then,” I said softly. “I won’t forgive you until you fight harder.” “Love, I—” “No, you’re the strongest man I’ve ever met. I’m nothing compared to you and I have nothing to equal your pain and hurt, your strength, or your bravery, so if I only have this one thing to hold over your head I bloody well will, Sev.” “Feisty today, are we?”

His voice was teasing, yet the hurt and fear still lingered behind it all and I couldn’t help but feel even more love for the man who dealt so poorly with his own emotions — he’d never been allowed any, so how would he ever know how to deal with them properly? I did the only thing I could think of, I hugged him with all my strength until his arms wrapped around me and I felt some of the tension leave his body. “Silly man,” I whispered. “You really need to learn how to deal with your emotions.” “I’m… I am trying,” he confessed and I knew he spoke true. He was trying with everything he had and I’d be with him every step of the way.

We stood there, for the longest moment, until I felt the urge to explore all the Christmas decorations he’d filled the house with. “I thought you hated Christmas with a passion as strong as amortentia’s power to make people go insane with obsession.” “I do.” “Then, why?” “You are the obsessed in this case,” he chuckled. “So, for me, then?” He merely nodded but I smiled warmly at him. It was a giant act of care and love on his part, it only made me love the holiday even more.

We walked through the little house, I looked at everything he’d done in a sort of stunned silence until we got to the bedroom. “Really?” I asked and arched a brow at him, he shrugged while raising his own brows in a sort of “what?” kind of expression. “Rosemary?” “Well…” he murmured as his cheeks took on the tiniest hint of pink, barely there but significant enough for me to notice after having gotten to know him so well the past few months. “I love it,” I said and kissed his cheek gently. “It’s perfect,” I continued while allowing my eyes to rest another moment on the rosemary twigs replacing the holly — just like it had done a year ago.

“Love, I truly am sorry… I shouldn’t have said the things I did, or done it in the manner I did.” “I know, and you know, and it’s in the past.” “It is not in the past,” he said and sighed. “I fear I’ll never be able to… To…” “Sev, schh, it’s okay. You’re learning. Have you ever had a right to express yourself? Or even have feelings at all?” “No.” “So you’re a baby.” He sneered at that, almost recoiling. “If you think about it logically, you’re as able as a child to deal with your emotions and when children feel truly safe with someone they’ll act up, they’ll cry and scream and get pissed because they feel it’s safe to show their emotions and, eventually, with the help of safe adults they learn to communicate and deal with their emotions in a healthy and proper manner. Yes, you’re a grown man, but you’ve never had the chance to learn or become comfortable with your emotions.” “I��m comfortable with you.” “And I am with you, we can both show our emotions, and right now your emotions aren’t under control but that’s not your fault. You’ll learn, grow, and become able to handle it eventually.”

Severus simply stared at me. It felt like an eternity passed while his eyes seemed to dig themselves into mine. Eventually, he drew a long breath. “You are far too good.” “I’ll be anything you need me to be.” “I merely need you, just as you are. If you… if you are willing to be patient, with… me…” It sounded as if he had to push with all his might to say the word in a calm and collected manner, as if he felt a need to either spit them out or say nothing at all. It warmed my heart and I nodded gently, smiling up at him as I took his hands gently in my own. “I’ll always be patient with you,” I said and leaned up to kiss him. His thin lips pushed harshly against mine while he tugged me closer.

He backed me up, toward our bed, and gently laid me down without our lips ever leaving each other. “Severus?” I asked, my heart hammering too hard while my entire body tightened warmly under him. “If you don’t want this, say so now, love.” “I-, I do…” It feels like I’ve waited all my life for this moment. “But are you ready?” I asked in return, remembering all the times he’d recoiled at my soft touch or jolted at a sweet caress of his cheek. Loving touches, as I’d learned over the past months, wasn’t something he was used to or even knew how to deal with.

“I want to try,” he confessed after another kiss. “Okay,” I whispered and he kissed me again while his hands roughly caressed my sides. His kisses turned harsher and he bent my legs to fit himself between them. I simply moved with him, allowed him to lead the way while I avoided touching him, keeping my hands above my head even if all I wished to do was strip him and ravish him with all my love and adoration, thousands of kisses and hundreds of soft caresses — with all my warmth.

His hands travelled up my arms until one of them clamped around my wrists before the other tore open my blouse with a jerk. His breathing turned ragged, his hand clamped around my wrists harder while he undid my pants with his free hand — tugging at the buttons too harshly.

“S-Sev,” I whispered against his lips. All his motions halted. He looked down at me, his eyes darker than ever. “I won’t run away,” I whispered. “Even if you don’t hold me down, I won’t touch you unless you allow it,” I continued. “I-, I don’t know how to… How to do this…” His voice was a mere murmur, a deep droning of a confession barely audible. “I know. I understand. But I do… Let me show you?” I asked gently while holding his eyes with my own.

He hesitated, a fear of what was to come in those onyx eyes of his, while I laid utterly still despite the need to love him clawing at my skin with a burning desire. He nodded, a stiff motion, while he slowly released my hands.

I sat up and he backed off the bed, standing between my knees. I looked up at him, not making any quick moves but standing up while he took a step back and his fists clenched. “Will you let me lead?” I asked. He merely nodded. “No, Severus. I need you to say the words.” He looked bewildered for a second before his fists unclenched on a deep exhale. “You lead.” “Thank you.”

I gently reached out while he stood absolutely still. “I’m going to undress you. And then you will undress me, slowly.” He nodded at my words and I got to work with the buttons of his shirt, not letting my fingers tremble while he watched them work. I tugged the shirt off his shoulders without touching his skin, dragging the fabric down his arms while searching his eyes before it floated to the floor. I undid the belt of his pants, then the button and zipper before bending to tug them off as he wore no shoes.

He lifted each leg for me to remove the pants fully while simultaneously slipping my finger within the hem of his socks and taking them off at the same time. I heard him draw a shaky breath as I rose before him as he stood in just his boxers. He was such a beautiful sight in the candlelight and I couldn’t help but look him up and down while my cheeks heated, no matter how hard I tried to control my own emotions for his benefit.

“Now, you undress me in the same manner. But, you can touch me if you want to.” He nodded at my words and as he reached for my already open blouse I caught a glimpse of his unsteady fingers that seemed to be both stiff and trembling. But he managed to undress me in a somewhat slow fashion, even if he didn’t look at me while he did so. His eyes flickered all over the place as if he didn’t know where to look.

When he stood up we were only in our underwear. I was strangely relaxed while he seemed tense. So I stepped closer, my eyes seeking his, and allowed my hands to reach out. “I’ll touch you now,” I said and his eyes found mine. He looked terrified, but he didn’t move away as my hands reached his chest dusted with dark hair so soft to the touch I wanted to moan at just the sensation of him. “Touch me, Severus, feel my body. It belongs to you,” I said gently to encourage him to dare. “I-, I have never in-, in this manner,” he confessed. “Tell me how you’ve done it, share your experiences with me while we do this gently.” “Love… No,” he said, a darkness to his voice. “Tell me, and touch me.”

I allowed my hands to stroke down his arms, slip to his hips, and go up along his sides until I could spread my fingers over his chest — his heart pounded. Then his hands reached out for my hips. “It was rough,” he began while his uncertain fingers began exploring my body in a jaggedly jumpy fashion. “Never out of care or, want… A necessity, sometimes something done without my approval. Merely for the… mission …” “Never again, darling,” I whispered while my hands explored his back and my front went flush against his, forcing his hands to slip behind me as well.

I kissed his collarbone and allowed my lips to slant up along his throat until I met his jawline. “This will only ever happen if you want it,” I assured him and his fingers stiffened at my lower back while I felt his cock press against my pelvis. “I can’t talk about it,” he confessed. “Not like this,” he continued and I nodded before kissing his cheek. “That’s okay, Sev. Will you still allow me to lead and touch?” “Yes…” “Say stop and it all stops.”

I stepped back and took off my underwear before ridding him of his. As we stood face to face I searched his eyes, tried to read what few emotions he showed, I found none truly alarming so I continued to kiss and caress him before we ended up on the bed. He was stiff beneath me, but I kept kissing and caressing his upper body while snuggling myself between his legs.

“Love…” he murmured. “Yes, Sev?” “Are you-, do you truly wish for this?” “Yes. I want all of you, all you are willing to gift me.” “All?” “Yes, all . There is no part of you I don’t love. I want to be close to you, care for you, love you.” He seemed to soften beneath me at that. “I will try,” he said quietly while his hands finally began to caress my skin, travelling along my sides until his fingers reached my face and he pulled me closer before kissing me softly.

I moaned into his mouth and kissed him back with all I had while still keeping the pace slow and the touch gentle. His thumb caressed my cheek and the kiss ended. I began stroking his side, travelling from his ribs to his hips before lifting myself a bit to reach his cock. He exhaled deeply as my fingers wrapped around him and I began stroking him gently, each movement measured and controlled to be gentle and comforting.

“It-, it feels good,” he whispered as he laid back fully, relaxing and taking in my touch. “I’ll always make you feel good, Sev,” I said, my voice too low but I was desperate to keep my control when all I truly wished to do was ravish him and have him fill my aching cunt. But we both needed this, he needed this to be different and I wanted him to feel safe and adored with me — as he always should feel.

I worked him to the point of him moaning deeply beneath me, my hands touching and stroking, my lips slanting and kissing, my mouth whispering sweet words of adoration and care. The room turned too warm, his breaths came harder and his muscles tensed beneath me while my core turned slick and needy.

“Sev, I’m going to ride you,” I said, making sure he knew what was about to happen before I did anything, giving him the chance to stop me. But he didn’t, he merely looked at me with warm eyes of want even if a small sliver of worry still lingered within the onyx colour.

I climbed atop him, guiding his thick cock to my entrance while straddling him. He looked up at me, his hands landing on my thighs as I began to sink, allowing him to slip inside and fill me up deliciously slow. He groaned and threw his head back as I took him to the hilt. It felt too good. He felt too perfect within me.

His hands flexed, his fingers digging into my flesh, and I moaned his name while taking in the sensation of being with him. I had dreamt of that moment for so long, wondered what it would be like, what he’d feel like, how he’d react — never had I imagined I’d be the one leading. But with Severus, things were always different.

“Love,” he groaned as I began riding him slowly. “You feel so good, Sev,” I moaned as my cunt adjusted to his size. “Belinna,” he moaned. “I-, I can’t,” he continued with a strain to his dark rumble of a voice. “Want me to stop?” I asked while keeping on riding him in slow motions, steady rising and falling, using all of my power to not allow the frenzy building within me to take over. “No, no don’t stop,” he groaned as his fingers dug themselves into my flesh with a grip so tight I wondered if he’d leave marks on me from his desperate hold. “But I can’t, I can’t hold out,” he panted while I felt his entire body turn nearly solid beneath me.

I’d only barely begun, but I wouldn’t take away his pleasure or deny him a release he so obviously needed. “Then let go, darling,” I said while I upped the pace a tiny bit. “Just let go.” “ Belinna ,” he moaned in a near prayer as I splayed my hands out on his chest, leaning forward to find a new angle to take him. He jerked beneath me, his jaw clenched tightly while his hips bucked upwards, and I moaned as he came undone beneath me.

His cock jerked with me, warm waves coating my insides while I kept riding him steadily while my hands felt the hammering of his heart. “You’re so good, Sev,” I praised while he groaned deeply. “So good, darling,” I continued and he moaned a strange sound of relief and something darker. I slowed my pace until I stilled fully, not chasing my release.

I watched him, the pale skin with a slight tint to his cheeks and little beads of sweat across his forehead, and couldn’t help but be filled with a desperate need to comfort him. He looked strangely satisfied but confused, tense but relaxed at the same time.

“Sev, are you alright?” I asked while stroking away a few stray strands of his hair. He looked up at me, I was unable to understand what his eyes were filled with though. He just looked at me, his chest still rising and falling rapidly, while I felt him soften within me his hands released their grip on my flesh.

“I-, I don’t know,” he confessed. “That’s okay,” I said and leaned forward to kiss his hooked nose while he slipped out of me, a gushing of sticky cum flowing out of me. “We’re a mess, would you like to shower with me?” I asked with a smile even if my entire body was reeling with the need to come. He shook his head and I nodded before kissing his thin lips gently. “I’ll be right back, I don’t like cleaning up with magic.”

I handed him his wand after having stood and went to the bathroom on shaky legs. My insides pulsed and his cum streaked down my thighs. I locked the door and stepped into the shower, the warm water cascaded over me and I reached down to find the release I so desperately needed while his moans and groans filled my head from mere memory. His cum and my slick covered my fingers as I stroked myself into a trembling mess, taking support from the wall while biting down on my lip to not make a sound. I made quick work of it all, finding my release swiftly only to rush through cleaning myself.

I grabbed my robe from the hook on the wall and left the bathroom while cinching the sash around my waist. When I stepped into the bedroom Severus sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in a new shirt and his black silken pyjama pants. He was leaning his elbows on his knees, a hunch to his shoulders and a stiffness to his back.

I walked up, sinking down on my knees before him. “Sev? Are you alright?” I asked anew but he shook his head. “What’s wrong?” I continued while wrapping my hands around his where they were entwined before me. “Is that how it’s supposed to be?” he asked quietly. “What do you mean?” “Soft, caring… Warm …” My eyes widened as he looked up at me. “Sev… Darling… Yes, it’s supposed to be all those things. It’s supposed to feel only good.” My heart screamed at the torment and confusion in his eyes while he looked at me so intently that I felt as if he were trying to enter my soul.

“What do you need, darling?” I asked while squeezing his hands. “Need?” “Yes, what do you need from me?” “Nothing you haven’t already given too much of.” “Okay, what would make you feel safe and cared for right now?” I asked to change his view on the question I was asking. “I-, I don’t know.” “Cuddles?” I asked. “Or alone time? Food? Words of affirmation?” I kept going to try and jog his thoughts about it all. I knew what I wanted but what I needed was to comfort him in whatever manner he needed.

“I usually prefer some cuddles and snuggles after getting clean, and talking about what felt good and what didn’t,” I said to open up about my own wants to hopefully make him see it was okay to ask for something more, for what one needs. “There was nothing about that which did not feel good, love,” Severus murmured, his eyes cast down on our hands. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Would you like me to stay or give you some time?” I asked after another moment. “Don’t leave,” he whispered. “Stay. Please…” The confusion and worry in his voice was heartbreaking but that he asked me to stay warmed me. “I’ll stay, for as long as you wish.” “Forever. I wish you to stay forever,” he said and I felt my eyes water at his honesty. “I love you, Severus.” “I love you too. And I am trying, I am truly trying, Belinna.” “I know,” I said and reached my hand up to caress his chilly cheek.

He leaned into my hand, a small smile across his lips. Such a difference to just a few weeks ago. “It may sound foolish,” he began quietly, “but I… I wished on a falling star for the bravery needed to be closer to you. It fell across the sky just as you left for your walk.” “I-, Sev, I wished on that star too,” I confessed and he blinked at me. “I wished for you to allow me to be close to you…” “Is that so?” “Yes…” “Star of wishes, perhaps we needn’t wish on stars in the future…” “Perhaps we can simply… talk with each other more?”

Severus reached up and cupped my face, smiling softly while I placed my hands on his chest. His heart beat steadily beneath my palms and warmth seemed to envelop the two of us among the garlands and candlelight. “I wish for nothing more than a future where we can speak openly,” he said gently and I felt as if I were melting on the inside. “Let’s make that future a reality, together.” “Together,” he echoed and kissed me deeply. My wish came true, and my hard work and patience were rewarded in the end. My own little Christmas miracle…

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

A/N: WAAAAAAAH!!!! Gosh, frikkin darn it, I love this so much and it's so sweet and they are so loving and caring and waaaaah..! I hope you enjoyed the end to this Rickmas2023 serial as well darlings! 🥰👏

+A/N: I am so so so sorry I haven't had the chance to reply to comments/reblogs yet - I am itching to do it and I will get to it as soon as I have a chance to and life isn't going crazy (I love and adore that you comment and reblog darling! I really do!) ❤

Q: Do you feel ready for 2024? A: I am so so so ready for 2023 to be over, it's been the most insane year and I can't quite wrap my head around it now that we're on the home stretch - how did I manage all I managed this year?

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[Dec:2023]

[mallowstep]

i hope you’re doing okay. 💙 it’s ok if you don’t answer this, i just wanted you to know folks are still thinking about you and wanting good things for you.

thank you babe (and thank you to everyone else who sent a message to this effect; i will answer them when i can)

i'm doing pretty well right now. i've been very busy at work, working on a top secret classified project (god only knows when you'll get more details than what i've already shared ;3), and also just. recovering from depression. there is so much of my life that even months out from the worst of it, i'm still trying to pull the pieces back together.

i have been writing a little. it's been difficult, mostly because of numerous incidents regarding writing and mental health (if you've been here for a while, you probably know about them; if you're new, the tldr is "mallowstep went off the wall for a bit and he's fine but it left him feeling bad"), and now i face down the summer which is...rough, mentally.

i don't know what normal looks like for me right now. i want to write but i don't know how it will fit into my life. i'm still making space for myself, in all the chaos and reconstruction. i know writing will be a part of normal for me. i just don't know where it fits yet.

it's been a while since i've felt like myself. the hollow feeling is abating. i am finding words to describe emotion again, that are more than just there or missing. i have been thinking about the stories i have yet to work on. what i want to tell next.

it has been an incredible two years for me. when i started this blog, i had just been broken up with by my boyfriend of three years, only a month or so after my childhood cat and dog had died one day apart. i was coping with so much impossible grief: i wrote the second chapter of i'll come back to you someday soon myself after my grandmother died, and i did not write anything after that for quite a while.

my wrists are healing. they hurt a little today and i'm not sure why, but they are healing.

i'll be going back to university as a natural resources major. i want a job that lets me protect and cultivate the forests i find so much comfort in. the complex webs of their ecosystems bring me so much delight. did you know trees talk to their daughters? did you know they care for their children? protect them?

it has been an incredible two years. i met my now-partner, learned how to actually trust people, and failed out of a year of college due to collapsing mental health. i went through approximately one million assessments to get a diagnosis and understand what was happening to me. i had a doctor tell me i was being undermedicated to an astounding degree. i had to let go of my beloved plants because i couldn't keep myself alive, much less then. i found a job i love so much i am eager to go to work every morning.

i honestly don't think i would've recognized who i am now, back when i started out here. i have become someone who trusts. who has connections with people. who does not fear so much. (i have also become someone who cries as i drive home from work sometimes. i have also become someone who needs to sit on the floor and count all the pieces of art i can see. we move in spirals, not straight lines.)

all of this is to say, i have been quiet on here for quite a while because i have been recovering from two years (a lifetime) of some truly exhausting events, as well as letting myself find things i enjoy. when i got out of high school, i loved what i was doing academically. i had very little passion. it had been bled out of me.

i am incredibly grateful to each and every one of you. your support, even in my period of dormancy, has meant so much. my relationship with writing sometimes feels like i am fighting my double, trying to balance both my need to use writing to understand myself, and my tendencies to ruin myself in the process.

i still don't have any promises to make, because i really don't know what's next for me. but i am still here, and you all still mean something to me.

with all my love, mallow

[tordenvejr]

Hi Vic :~) sending a bit of an agony aunt ask today ahaha. pls only answer if you feel called to/have the space for it

*This is an ask about sex/sexuality

Recently I find myself navigating feelings of sexual guilt about having sex with the wrong person. Growing up, and well into my teen years, I was shy -- so I never had to worry about this because it took me time to get to know people ,so sexual connections were always romantic connections and felt very natural, strong.

Now in my twenties I'm finding myself participating in casual sex culture, and although I don't think there should be any shame around this, for me I feel like I've let something that was once quite beautiful become tainted and it's making me sad. So I'm taking a step back, I just want to be by myself and feel very called to this way of life. But I'm still feeling troubling feelings about events and choices of recent past. It doesn't help that I've heard this reocurring message in spiritual communities of people talking about "purity, "sexual curses", "mixing your energy with the wrong person" etc. Although I think there is some truth in this, I find the underlying message of guilt and shame troubling. It's a very natural thing and if we feel it's not for us there's definitely that gut feeling of something being wrong, but in terms of spiritual curses and spiritual stds... I don't know. I even saw one comment of someone sharing that they'd had up to thirty partners in the past, but were now choosing to close the doors to that, just to be met with lots of shame and people saying things like "you'll never recover from this spiritually", which made me sad. I hope that's not true. It's all playing on my mind a bit and making me worried. It makes me feel better looking at friends who have gone through similar things as me. They've had all sorts of sexual experiences and some of them are now in committed relationships. Do you have any thoughts on this kind of message in spiritual communities? Having sex with the wrong person wreaking havoc in your life kind of thing? Sex is such a vulnerable, intimate act and I really see it as sacred. I am definitely closing the doors to connections that don't resonate and fill me with light. But I'm trying to find that balance of "sex is sacred" vs purity culture. I don't really regret many sexual connections... maybe two or three. Even so, from mistakes we learn, and I feel like myself, no one has the power to take that away from you. We just get a bit knocked off balanced sometimes, but this is life. We live it and love it and learn... no space for shame here. I am still me and always will be. If you have any guidance/opinions I'd very much appreciate it (No worries if not!!) Thank you, and I hope that you are having a wonderful October :) ✨

this is such a complex topic, i have many thoughts on this! 💗

in terms of the physical;

fundamentally i think that what someone does with their body is their business. and i think that casual sex between strangers can be fun and healthy. i also think that sex is a very intimate thing, and that there is benefit in being mindful of who you invite into that space with you. unless you are crystal clear on your boundaries and your ability to pick up on people's character, it is easy to find yourself in situations with people that don't necessarily have the respect or the care for you that, in my opinion, is the most nourishing when it comes to sexual relations, and the effect that that sexual intimacy has on the rest of your sense of self and well-being.

i also think that trying to monitor or judge other people's sexuality, and exploration/expression of this, is controlling and unhealthy. i think that 99% of the time the need to shame others for their sexuality comes from projected insecurity, fear or repression of one's own sexuality.

in terms of the spiritual;

the whole concept of purity is so medieval. i find it very questionable and lacking in comprehension/nuance when a lot of "spiritual" people speak about this. it feels very much like flying from one fly trap of control to another. it doesn't take into consideration sexual assault or the fact that we are constantly changing and learning, or the fact that we are different expressions of source/god. what might not be a true expression for you, may be for another, and that doesn't make them less spiritually evolved, it makes them different and you in need of checking your own judgements.

i also think that we are different spirits and some of us may be more easily creating cords with others if we are less grounded or not yet practiced on spiritual boundaries. if you are someone who does create these connections easily, it likely would be in your best interest to cleanse and clear your energy after being intimate with someone, and it may be a liberating experience to create rituals to let go of the past. some spirits may need to set direct intentions to form that same bond with another. we are all different, and we all have different spirit teams, and how we interact with the world is unique to us.

so generalizing approaches to sex just don't cut it, yes taking care of our bodies and spirit is usually beneficial, but it's for you to find out what that looks like for you

thank you for the patience 💞

[numinously-yours]

hii! could i have a reading from you on the characteristics of my next romantic partner and when they’ll potentially come into my life? thank u soo much 🫶

-♎️

Good morning!

Starting with characteristics we have: The Chariot reversed, the Nine of Cups, and the Nine of Cups. Lovely!

Your person is very content with life. They feel like they're in a place where they're thriving, but they're also ready to take on new adventures. They are definitely a free spirit. They don't always have a plan when they take their next adventures, but somehow they are still cognizant of how the steps they take are affecting others around them. Overall, they're just a very curious person. Because they ARE in a good spot in life, they are excited to learn what else is out there. How can life be even better? How can they inspire others to love their life? I get really happy and sweet energy from them :)

In terms of timeline: Five of Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles, Three of Swords, and Eight of Swords (with the high priestess on the back of the deck)

I looked at these cards for a little bit before typing this out because I really wanted to understand what they were saying. What I am really being brought back to is that the pentacle cards are the timeline in terms of actual TIME (seasons, calendars, etc) and the swords are what needs to happen internally before you're going to be the most open to accepting this person in your life. Pentacles can either point to the winter months or years. I'm leaning more toward the winter months of this year, rather than it actually taking years to happen. I DO think that your guides are saying that you will need to focus on the pentacle cards for it to occur sooner rather than later in the winter months. The Knight of Pentacles feels like someone bringing something "new" which makes me think of moving into the new year. Right now, the month of December is really calling out to me and that it will be a relatively new relationship as 2025 comes in.

For your sword cards, I am seeing that you have had some heart break. Whether it is from past romantic relationships or even disappointment from people who are really important to you (romantic or not). You have been really hurt and it's making it hard to open up to the idea that someone will love you fully OR that you'll find someone to trust again. Some "what's the point?" energy is coming through. But the point is getting to experience this amazing person that's waiting for you! Your guides are saying that you have to let go of these negative thoughts and victim mentalities that overwhelm you sometimes (I want to be clear that I am not saying you're playing the victim; heart break sucks, but we CAN get really bogged down in the feelings and forget the good stuff we DO have in life. That's what's coming out in the message).

I wanted to use the High Priestess/back of the deck as the advice toward how you can continue to move forward and make room for this person to come into your life. I feel like it's cliche, but getting in touch with your intuition is really going to help. As people have probably noticed, I love Biddy Tarot and use her guides to help me find insights. A line from the linked page about the high priestess says, "Knowledge of how to fix these issues will not come through thinking and rationalizing, but by tapping into and trusting your intuition, so allow yourself the time and space to meditate and attend to your inner voice." Additionally, the HP wants you to embrace your divine feminine (regardless of gender). It reiterates to feel rather than think. Be proud of yourself for your ability to love, nurture, and empathize. It may feel like the root of "why" you're going through your heartbreak, but it really is a strength. Your future partner is going to see this part of you and, I bet, they're going to want to learn even more to see how they can incorporate your goodness into their life.

Best of luck my love!

Numinously yours,

D

[godesssiri]

It's rough right now having so many friends and family in the flood affected area. There's little to no cell reception and people are only able to communicate when they are at petrol stations or supermarkets who have their public wifi on powered by their generators. Even though we've spoken to other people who've spoken to them and/or they've marked themselves safe on FB so we know their ok, every time one of them manages to get through and you actually hear their voices it's such a relief.

I spoke to my foster-sister yesterday morning and when I saw her partner's name come up on a call through messenger I couldn't answer quick enough, she was using his phone because her's was dead. She was terrified for her kids who were in Havelock North with her parents and she hadn't been able to make contact. I was able to tell her that Havelock North was fine, they weren't badly affected and there were no evacuations. We're getting more info outside of Hawkes Bay than people who are in the middle of it.

I don't know if you know the topography but you have the small cities of Napier and Hastings 20 minutes apart with the tiny blip town of Clive roughly in the middle. To get to Clive from Napier you have to cross the Waitangi and Hohepa bridges across the Tutaekuri river and then the Clive bridge across the Clive river. then the roads are clear through to Hastings. The bridges were opened to light traffic this morning so loads and loads of people went through to Hastings to get supplies or check on family, but they closed the Waitangi bridge this afternoon because the traffic was so bad they were concerned for the bridge, so lots of people who left Napier this morning are stranded on the wrong side of the bridge. They've been told to turn around and go stay with whoever they know in Hastings or go to an evacuation center there but a lot are sitting in their cars hoping the bridge will re-open, and traffic is backed up all through Clive. Mum is good friends with the nurse at the Clive med center and she is one of the toughest cookies I have ever met. She's got power on back at her place in Hastings so called Mum when she got home from work. She sounded shattered. She's been trying to help people stranded in their cars all afternoon. She was upset about an elderly lady who had wet herself in her car because she had been stuck in there so long and a young Mum with a very young baby who had no nappies left. Then she told us that the receptionist from the med center (who's husband is a cousin of my mother's and Mum has been messaging them trying to find out if they're ok) nearly died. Their house was flooded and they had to swim out. They're both elderly and she almost gave up because she thought she couldn't do it but he told her 'If you don't go you'll die'. They've lost their dog, their beautiful house with 50 years of marriage worth of mementos, their livestock - they are just damn lucky to have gotten out with their lives. I've seen a pic of where flood waters burst through a bank near their home and it just looks like a digger has gone in and neatly cut out a section right down to the normal river level, it's just gone. Our nurse friend was crying telling us about it and I have never, in 12 years I've known her, heard her cry.

[nuttytani]

my two cents that may not be necessary to this post but *shrugs*

tip: if someone asks for your age and it is necessary for them to know (generally in group chats or discord servers), you can just say either: I'm a minor / below 18. same goes for adults. if you don't want to reveal your exact age, just give a range e.g. 20+ or 30+ or say you're legally an adult.

BUT!!!! KIDS!!!!!! DO NOT PUT YOUR AGE IN YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA!!!!!! OR EVEN MENTION THAT YOU ARE A MINOR. That tip is only and only for situations where you NEED to give your age. especially in fandom space discord servers or group chats that have both minors and adults

Sharing personal information about things like:

your ethnicity

your country of residence

your nationality

the languages you speak

your picture/selfies

what school you're in/what year/grade you're in

your real name

your family member names

also try to stay away from video calls and voice calls or messages (people can find out where you live just by your accent)

^^^^^^are all the things you need to be secretive about if you are very young/minor.

As OP has mentioned, this is to keep random people on the internet to get to you in real life

Now this doesn't mean that everyone on the internet is out to get you in real life and is going to be a big bad scary adult. However, you, as young kids, are unable to differentiate between genuine people vs those who have ill intentions. Young kids tend to trust anyone who is friendly and grow attached to them, and because of this trust, sometimes you end up revealing things that should be kept to yourself. It all depends on the person you're chatting to, they can choose to take advantage of the information you may have given intentionally or unintentionally.

+ Once you are out of the schooling system and have a good amount of experiences and understanding of people, it is much more easier to "read" people. And at that stage of your life (generally around 18+), you are free to decide whether you are comfortable to share personal information about yourself to others.

Though sometimes, us adults, also mess up being able to judge true nature of people and suffer the consequences of it. It is rare, but it does happen.

Some unorganised thoughts related to this:

keep your bio or description simple. don't write your autobiography there or in your carrd (i've seen people make carrd these days). it gives away too much information about you to random strangers. your pseudo name, your likes and hobbies are more than enough.

when someone's bio says minors do not interact (MDNI), respect that and keep away. it's because we'd like to keep you safe and away from adult spaces that tend to have a lot of sexual content. plus, most adults feel uncomfortable to know that a 12 year old or a 13 year old may be scrolling through their very explicit content. and the reason why we tell you minors to keep away from sexual or explicit content is because: IT AFFECTS YOUR PERCEPTION OF REALITY. Porn most of the time is unrealistic and are fantasies of adults, if you young children consume sexual content it will warp your perception of how sex is supposed to work in real life. These things will be very hard to unlearn once you grow up and you will have unrealistic expectations towards your partner or s/o

try not to jump on random blaming bandwagons or fan the flames of some drama or argument. you may be attacked by others

keep away from cancel culture/expose culture/witch hunting. just don't. it's not cool and very tacky of you. one day, you'll look back at your past self and feel disgusted by this behaviour of yours. so save yourself the embarrassment and dont participate in this.

stay civil on the internet, no need to be aggressive to a random stranger when you can talk nicely. even if the other person is acting rude. just block, and walk away.

don't like something? don't read it. don't enjoy seeing some sort of fanart? just mute that character's name or ship name. or simply unfollow the person. don't yuck other's yumm. you don't have to make your displeasure towards someone's craft known. just move on with your life.

hate commenting is not constructive criticism.

alright I think that's all. my apologies for rambling TT

This post is specifically meant to help kids and emerging adults that were not taught what you might not want to share online.

The purpose of not sharing personal information is to make it more difficult to connect up information about you, and especially to make it difficult to connect the “you” online to the “you” offline. The reasons one may want to do this range from maintaining safe relationships outside of an abusive relationship, to making it harder to put together enough information to break into their bank account, to being actively concerned about doxxing and swatting.

For any of these reasons, if you’re not completely sure you will be fine having that information on the internet indefinitely, it’s best not to share it in the first place. The internet is full of turmoil, but we all know that some posts never die, and that others are archived.

Here’s some information that is generally considered a bad idea to share publicly or privately online, with the exception of applying for jobs or working with online financial and legal systems, and some strong alternatives.

Your full legal name, or any particularly distinctive part of your legal name. My first name has less than six hundred people with it in the States. I use a nickname on this blog for a reason. Nicknames are a great alternative to legal names.

Your birthday, especially if you also share your exact age. That allows for people to look for you based on your exact birth date, which is a very powerful piece of information. Unlike your legal name, there’s no way I know of to change it. Consider not sharing this at all. For age, “minor” or “adult” are all the information a reasonable person should need.

Your precise location. Big cities, like Tokyo, New York City, or London, have a high enough population to act as a bit of a smokescreen, but as a rule of thumb, stick to stating a local with at least a million people in it. I often just use my time zone, since it’s the main thing people need to know online.

There’s other information that is questionable to share openly online, particularly your personal phone number and email, but those are the three big pieces of information that it’s generally not a good idea to share either publicly or privately. This is because they can be plugged into background checkers and other databases to try to find you offline. The more information you share, the more someone can narrow down who you are. If that is something you are concerned about, consider following these guidelines about what not to share.

I encourage people to add onto and spread around this post.

[tarotmundomonde]

hi, i’d like to participate in your tarot event. i’m AT, sun aries venus aries sag moon, and i choose no2. i see u as the colour deep blue violet with sparkles because it’s so mature yet strong and emotional, it is also very spiritual. id like to choose no2 as my question because i went through a lot romantically last year and it ended up with my ex partner in legal trouble and i was the victim. it took a lot of time for me to heal and i am going into a new phase of my life. i’d like to have some hope for my love life in the future and see if my energy brings in someone new and my style and receive some hopefully positive messages.

gif that resonated with me:

gif that resonated with you:

thank you!

NOTE: This reading counts from today to the next 5 months. Hello AT, let's dive into your reading, shall we? At first glance, it looks like you are dealing with some fears and major negative energies, but it will start to dissolve. You said you've been doing some healing work, well, you are still in the middle of it, but it will start to get better. Little by little, it keeps on dissolving itself. It looks like a nightmare that starts losing its' power and if let's say you had trouble sleeping, you are gonna start to sleep better and better. Meaning you'll start to feel more relaxed and more comfortable and find your peace. So if you don't give up, it looks like you are going to master your healing during the next five months. And you will be blessed with a situation entering your life that will work as a sign of job well done, of having succeeded. So you'll know. And on the other side, it looks like there is going to be someone of kind nature present in your love life, a male. They could end up having this added healing influence on you. Now, let's go deeper into the details of your reading. You have a lot of messages about fears in your spread. First of all, it's good for you to know that currently you are going through a soul mission. So this is no small lesson you are dealing with and have been so far. Secondly, you could experience some degree of loneliness, but the whole purpose of it is to bring awareness to you. It's because you need to work on detachment, to find yourself again, to find your own voice. Your very own voice. To find your way back to the well of healing and love. A lot of cleansing to do. And as you know, it's on many levels, it could be throwing out some old clothes as much as doing energy cleansing. Working on releasing all the negativity. And the cards are showing you being purified from old romantic bonds. So it's literally a phase you are going through during the next five months. There is a bit of this kind of thing going on, where you are on a quest to seek the truth and to see through the lies. But most of it is quite seemingly passively happening. Like you are relaxed and let it come to you, it just kinda happens. But there is a sense of seeking the truth, wanting to see the traps and red flags you've failed to in the past, as you want to gain control over your love life. So it kinda looks like you might feel or have this opinion that people might have been able to control you, because you had feelings for them. And it seems your darkest fears kinda stem from there. So there is a bit of a warning to not close off your heart, because that's not the way to have healthy control over your love life. Instead, it's more a matter of embracing. Since it seems your emotions could at times run high during the next five months, it looks like overall it would be good for you to do some heart chakra healing. As you heal, it will be easier for you to control those fears and to overcome them. Nonetheless, there is a theme of you taking your control back and your personal power. And a lot of prioritizing. Not just reflecting but also really thinking about what truly matters. And recognizing your needs in love. As you heal, you could even see some physical healing happening. But definitely you'll feel, how you feel better and feel lighter. You do have divine protection showing up in your spread, but also it's good for you to work on protecting your energy. To draw the line and not allow yourself to be bothered and disturbed by low vibrational energies and people. You can choose to embrace only those with an open heart and healthy heart space. And it seems you will regain your confidence and self-confidence. Trust yourself, because you do have much more control over things than what you've given yourself credits for. Divine light is present, you are guided and shown the path. Like said earlier, you will be shown a sign of job well done and there will be an upgrade happening in your love life. And prosperity is on the horizon for you. So do be your own unique self, be you and use your voice.

Open your arms to receive the blessings awaiting you. You might have someone showing up. This person will be a kind soul, someone rather compassionate. They could be here to show you that there are people, who know how to love, who are emotionally mature. You could even find their voice to be enchanting or their words ever so soothing. It's like they send waves to your heart space. This could feel to you quite unique, be something you haven't witnessed or experienced before. It's a bit like why such a gift is left in the shadows, why doesn't it show outwards. I hope it makes sense. But like the way they dress doesn't tell anything about, how lovely they truly are. Being around them could somehow make you feel good. But there is a possibility of this connection growing into something more. So if you don't give up, it seems during the next five months you'll be done with this healing phase. It's rare to see something like that in a reading, so it actually makes me happy that I can deliver you such good news. ps. feedback is always appreciated~

[black-with-a-splash-of-rainbow]

I really wasn't going to get into it -- I was going to keep to myself after reading all of that. But this is what you'll get from me if anything. Maybe it was a mistake for me to vaguely respond to you -- putting messages out into the world that I knew you would read. I couldn't and can't still find myself directly messaging you on a personal level. To me, what I have felt like I've had to get myself is my own self control. Allow myself to be my own person and not be influenced by how others feel (haha look at me right now - 🤦)

I had love for you in the past. All I wanted was to find some sense of closure when putting my writing into the public space that I knew you would read. You lack a lot of my respect unfortunately for all the shit you put me through. If you feel offended or defensive that's fine, I figured you might. I know we could go back and forth all day on who did what and who caused this or that.

Right now, the last message you sent to me on tumblr was the most anxiety inducing message vs all the others you've ever sent me throughout the years -- yes I've read them all. Whether it was an email, whether it was Instagram, fb, ask.fm, Tumblr, etc.

Not that it really matters but I don't ever wanna feel like that. I feel like i felt that spike of anxiety wayyyy too many times when we were together.

No, you're right, that relationship was hella bonded to the core. Even though there was sketchy shit like you cheating and whatnot I know that we had a closeness of lack of judgement, I felt like we could literally tell each other things that others wouldnt feel comfortable talking about. We were there for each other at our lowest and even though there was partial trauma bond I know that we were in love. I mean shit we really did do more than the average person. Whether getting pulled apart from our school, from our parents, side enemies, etc.

I'm rambling. . .

There was so much I did want to talk about whether it was about the past or the current. My partner has been by my side -- knowing that I'm not crossing a line. I kept my boundaries "speaking" with you at the best place I could. In a sense that I didn't have a private conversation with you and kept it all in the air if that makes sense. I know you want more -- relating to speaking wise and all that -- but I need patience. I gave you brownie points for not coming @ me so quick for not replying to you directly but some of your true colors showed a little there when you weren't getting the dm. Well here's a message directed specifically at you -- maybe not in private but that's all I can offer you. Sorry your personal life got effected again because of me even though I wasn't the 1 seeking you. I saw you & your girl are having a hard time. Her sister even tried to hmu & ask about us lol felt like old times. As all of that happened and everything spiraled I felt maybe I should step back, too. I don't need to feel like I'm the problem or I'm stirring up drama. I've grown and learned to love not having so many problems -- work gives me enough of it tbh.

Yeah maybe one day we can talk. Doesn't have to result in any form of relationship. Just figured we could take some weight off of our shoulders.

P s. :) He's my fiance since you wanna know so badly about us 💍

[kdt3al]

Confession - I'm a piece of shit.

TLDR: I was very depressed, got drunk and kissed a new friend. Partner called off our engagement because of it. I messaged this friend inappropriately and nearly destroyed mine and Partner's relationship because of it. I have no friends, and my depression is getting bad again.

I was engaged last year, but then I got drunk and kissed a friend. A few months later, I was messaging this friend inappropriately. My partner found out and told me to stop, but I continued. I'll admit, I loved the kind of attention I got from this guy. I hadn't had THAT kind of attention for a long time.

The way this guy LOOKED at me, I felt like I was the only person in the world. I've never had anyone look at me that way, making me feel so special.

My partner's giving me my last chance. I know I was lucky to have 1 more chance, let alone another one. My partner kicked me out of our house and said I couldn't come back until I'd said goodbye to my friend. I miss him. I keep wanting to tell him things that have happened during my day.

It's no excuse, I just want to give some of my thoughts on why I did what I did.

I've had maybe 2 friends since I left school nearly 10 years ago. I met A 4 years after I left school, and D about 8 years after I left school. I can no longer speak to D, as this was the friend. My partner had a few years without any close friends, but he's had A and Z for around 5 years now, as well as a few others he chats with regularly. A no longer wants to be my friend and has chosen to only be friends with Partner.

My partner's family are quite close, but mine are not. I don't see my family very often, and we don't talk much other than when we need to. My partner plays online games with his brothers every now and then and sees most of his family at work.

I had a baby in 2021, and I felt so alone. None of my family came to help me, and when they did visit they just wanted to see the baby. Partner's family didn't really visit either, his mum wanted to come around all the time, and even let herself in without asking or knocking.

I had 9 months off of work, in total. I was so bored at home alone, but my anxiety wouldn't let me go outside. (Partner resents me for not taking Baby outside more.) Eventually, A dragged me out of the house to go to a baby/toddler group with him. I enjoyed it, but then I was stuck going with A's partner. I didn't really get on with her, and I always felt like she didn't like me that much. That might've been my anxiety talking, but I didn't realise that at the time.

All the time I spent inside just me and Baby caused my depression to get worse and worse. I started having thoughts of hurting myself and realised I probably needed to talk to someone. I spoke to the Health Visitor, and they set me up an appointment to talk to someone about Post Partum Depression. I went through their assessment and was told I was fine. "You're a new mum, you'll be fine."

My depression got worse and worse. It only started to lift when I started talking to D. He seemed to know what I was going through depression-wise, and mental health-wise. I felt like I had someone I could talk to, I didn't feel like I could confide in my partner. How do you tell someone you love that you don't want to be here anymore?

I think I want some advice on what I should do?

I don't have any friends I can talk to, I'm trying to get in contact with some old friends from school but no one really seems to want to reconnect. It's always meeting for a coffee "someday" and then never hearing back. I've tried Bumble and Peanut to find new friends nearby, but people don't seem to reply on those apps very often.

I keep wanting to message D, I miss him as a friend. We'd play games on Steam together, go for walks, and have a laugh. I felt like I'd found a best friend finally after 10 years. We took things too far and I regret that drunken kiss that started it all. Partner wants us to have nothing to do with D ever again, he thinks D wanted to destroy our relationship and steal me away. I don't think that, but part of me wonders if maybe I wanted that in a way?

Partner wants to go through my phone regularly now, and I can't blame him. He says he can't trust me, I'm trying to earn his trust again. Neither of us is sure how to do that yet. He says he's single now but says he wants to work on the relationship, and he still wants sex and to "use" me. Partner told me A said, "You better not get back with her unless it's just for the sex."

I'm in counselling for my mental health, Partner says it's "too little, too late". Counsellor says I should write Partner a letter because actual face-to-face conversations spike my anxiety. Told Partner this, and he said "You can write one, but I might not read it or believe anything you write." He says he can't trust what I say anymore. My counsellor says I deserve to be happy, and that even though I don't feel like it now, things will get better. I hope that's true.

I miss having D as a friend. I want my family (Me, Partner, Baby) to stay together. I want my anxiety and depression to lighten. I want to be happy.

[aeternals]

here, my little song bird, his mother had set down and old sheet of music in front of him. it was printed on real paper just like others. nathaniel had a folder of them pressed neatly under his gel mattress so that his father would never find them. could never find them since he wasn't ever really around. between church and all the social events he drifted to in between claus martin was rarely home to tend to the beautiful family he spoke so much about.

and, so he played in front of the digital fire while his mother adjusted where his hands landed. she stood and fussed about the placement of the bow. only when the notes sounded right to her ears did she sit at the nearby piano to play an accompaniment.

---

what in the devil's hell is all this??? sheets of paper covering the black gloss of the piano's cover. shreds were at claus's feet. nathaniel could see notes shorn in two. parts of lines ending on one jagged square with a partner a feet or so away. an aweful stench was on the air. bitter and musty. it's then nathaniel glances over to the mostly empty bottle of amber liquid. and, since he's not paying attention he can't brace for the hand that catches his cheek, making him stumble several steps until he falls back onto his tailbone. a sharp pain rises up through the hand that tried to brace his fall.

hopefully you fucking broke it so you'll stop with this nonsense, claus spits when nathaniel brings the pulsating wrist in close to his chest. the sound of paper shredding , falling down in the middle of the room like fake snow flakes.

a crash of piano keys. every muscle in his body tightens. he tries to concentrate on the space between his father's feet but the ping of a violin string brings his gaze up to see the wood being splintered as claus brings all his weight into smashing it down into the piano. swing after swing after swing the stained wood cracks, splinters, and floats down in slow motion.

his grandfather's violin....

---

memories he hadn't allowed to bubble up for years how had him staring in between amos's feet the very same way he used to stare at his father's. his jaw set as if to steel himself against another clash against bone. it takes a few heartbeats to remember the man was gone. long gone.

desi's head snaps up to look at the glass case, making sure it was only the memory of a violin that had been destroyed and not the one he allowed himself to indulge on. a sigh and a slight slump of his body when he recognizes it still whole.

" i have a better grasp of the music now, " he smiles sadly. it's such a long piece that he didn't finish all of it by the time hannah emerged from the bathroom but he'd gotten through most of it. a glance and a nod given over to amos as thanks for letting him get lost in the music but he doesn't have the strength to say the words, not just then. maybe later after it was just the two of them again.

a noise from his hand terminal pulls his attention away from both past and present. the printed violin is set back on the couch cushion so his hands are free to swipe across the acrylic surface. " they have space for you over at the vortex. " a quick message is pressed out and swept away simply explaining he'd settle all the details once they arrive. " now it's just a matter of when you want to go rest. "

“That would be – really great, honestly,” Hannah admitted, trying to ignore the slight flush of embarrassment that rose as she tried very hard to pretend that she didn’t feel, and probably look, like something of a train wreck in slow motion. The flush only grows deeper as she realizes that, at some point in the conversation, Amos had managed to shove all of her things back into her pack – not like she had anything awkward or unmentionable in her things, but there was still that lingering irritation at the invasion of her privacy.

Logically, it made sense, she supposed, given … whatever it was exactly that her brother did, now, and Amos’ clear intent of keeping her brother safe – that brought an unexpected wave of gratitude out of nowhere, true, but she had still never imagined that anyone would doubt her, or feel the need to go through her things with impunity. Maybe, she reasoned, that was just leftover shame, from the number of times she’d been searched, and her things searched, without any say in it. A lifetime ago, when she was not the woman she was now.

She snaked out a hand to latch onto the strap of her bag, skirting around the large figure that sat silently at the edge of the table, following Nathaniel into the bathroom that was practically as large as her whole apartment – okay maybe not literally, but. She takes a moment, to lay a hand lightly, hesitantly, on Nathan’s arm, a tired smile offered. “Thank you.” She locks the door after him, nonetheless, and it takes very little time for her to strip out of the well worn clothes, and to step into the water that she was very glad to see could be set near hot enough to turn her into a lobster.

The actual cleaning part didn’t take long - she was used to much shorter showers, but she did linger, her forehead resting against the shower wall as the steam and near scalding water pelted her skin. The tears had come and gone, and when the first strains of music touch her ears, she almost thinks she’s imagining it, but as it grows, so does a smile. Still low, and tired, but it fills her with a warmth that the water hadn’t, easing some ancient, painful tightness in her chest that she’d lived with for so long she had forgotten it was even there.

Only when the water begins to run lukewarm, does she pull herself out of the reverie, digging through the mess in her bag to find clean, if slightly rumpled, versions of similar style to slide into. She hadn’t bothered with anything fancy - not that she could usually afford the kind of things she designed, anyways - jeans, a soft long sleeved pull over shirt. She took the time to brush and pull her hair back into a quick, lazy braid, shoving everything else back into her bag before making her way back into the main part of the apartment. “That was always one of – our favorites,” she said, the words soft, weary. “You play even more beautifully than I remembered.”

[georgiaheartsdilfs]

Reader has feelings for Elijah he doesn't feel the same way, she ends up moving on and Elijah realizes he felt the same way too it just didn't click until he saw her with someone else. Reader ends up liking Lucien and they flirt all the time and it makes Elijah sick seeing it. *Reader is a witch

note: I hope you don't mind, i kind of made it so like the reader and lucien are dating. that was the only change, sorry if you dont like it. <3

You don't like me, period | Elijah Mikaelson x Reader (mainly) Lucien Castle x Reader

my masterlist ↪M A S T E R L I S T

warnings / other notes ↪ cigarette smoking (i hope you're ok with that?) ↪ bourbon

2 years ago

"elijah..." my words quiet, almost as if my throat had been dialled down to the quietest setting, the older mikaelson brother turning "say anything, something?" my confusion was obvious.

Elijah wasn't a selfless person, so imagine my lack of surprise when I admit my feelings to him only to stare at me with nothing but the smallest disappointed expression.

"i'm afraid I can't just say something I simply don't feel." elijah finally spoke, his words bitter and cold but sharp like a knife slowly carving the words onto my body as a memory of forever alone, a memory of rejection.

Smacking my lips and nodding accepting my humiliating fate I jog up stairs to my room. Tears rolling down my cheek frantically trying to find a suitcase.

2 days before the present

"Please Lucien dear, I refuse to go back to New Orleans." my whiny tone obviously ringing in my boyfriends ear "Look, you know I love you, y/n. But I wouldn't make us go back to New Orleans if it wasn't for a good cause." Lucien responds annoyed.

"the reason being?" I question him sitting down on our bed as he zips up our bags. "To overthrow my sire of course" Lucien responds followed by an evil and maniacal grin.

I laugh to myself, having known that Lucien's sire had no chance of being overthrown. The highness of hybrids or the evil of the vampires.

"sure, whatever. I'd like to see you overthrow Klaus." I mumble sitting up from the bed, walking over to my closet to pick out any last minute clothing items I had left behind.

"you say that as if you know my plan dear." Lucien snickers "you say that as if I do not know Niklaus Mikaelson." I chuckle to him. Lucien kisses my cheek "well when you see my plan, you'll thank me, in the bed." Lucien jokingly states and I laugh "you're horrid." smacking his chest gently as he walks past "I sure am."

the present

"Klaus Mikaelson. My Sire." Lucien bursts through the dark cold entrance to the place I once called home "Lucien Castle, what a surprise." the former love of my life says in his cold, ill-mannered tone. I walk out from behind Lucien and I see the change in Elijah's facial expressions.

Trying to get used to the fact I was on the opposing side of the Mikaelsons was odd, I hadn't fought against them in years. That's what made me their ally, I was one of the few people they kept alive because I was worth more than my power.

"Y/n" he says "Elijah Mikaelson." I nod to him wrapping my arms around Lucien's as he comforts me "how... unexpected." Elijah says giving me a confused yet distasteful look, trying to decipher the last time I talked highly of my latest partner.

Lucien nods, grinning "Where is my sire?" Lucien asks the older brother "He seems to be preoccupied, please feel free to leave a message." the familiar tone of ignorance echoing loudly in the quiet room.

"Well we can wait, can't we love?" Lucien looks down to me "we have... all the time in the world." I smile back to my boyfriend, looking over to Elijah and letting go of Lucien, walking over to the steps "I remember these were once stained with blood, no?" I question Elijah who sighs.

"They very much were, until we refurnished the house." Elijah mumbles "I assume booze aren't too much to ask for?" I turn to him, his jaw drops because he is unable to tell me to get it himself, shaking his head he walks away towards the kitchen.

The house seeming more spacious than before, the feeling of all four walls closing in on me no longer there. Reaching the top of the stairs "how high and mighty do I look love?" I ask Lucien who looks at me in awe, admiring me from my head to my toes "goddess, high and mighty like a goddess my queen." he says taken back.

Elijah returns with two glasses handing one to Lucien as I make my way down the stairs to collect my glass "this house is bigger than I remember." I smack my lips before placing them on the clean, bourbon filled glass.

"It does seem like that." Elijah nods agreeing with me "When I left it felt so small, closed in. No matter, I like living in southern France, a lot of space there." I giggle looking back to Lucien insinuating something dirty as he immediately picks up.

"Now now Lucy, don't laugh at something you never understood." Elijah says in an insanely calm manner although he clearly was implying something else "Well, Elijah. If you couldn't tell, Lucien is more of a man than you are and he does understand it, more than you ever can." I roll my eyes.

Moments pass before a blood covered hybrid bursts through the gates, wiping his bottom lip with his finger before licking the leftovers off leaving his finger completely clean.

"Ah Lucien, Y/n." Klaus says shocked "What are you two doing here?" he asks, the smell of blood and booze radiating off him like he was a Molotov cocktail with fire emanating from its core, "We came to say hello to the better Mikaelson while we were in town." I smile wrapping an arm once more around Luciens.

"And of course to check up on my sire." Lucien says and I nod agreeing with him "how did dear old y/n manage to find you before I did." Klaus says welcoming him with open arms.

"well it was hard to miss her beautiful face." Lucien laughs as I let go of him and he walks towards Klaus, hugging him tightly "good times." he chuckles.

Klaus guides us upstairs, Elijah following closely behind me as we walk into the meeting room also know as the room with all the couches.

Lucien and I sit "I assume Elijah welcomed you both." Klaus says "it was a welcoming." clearing my throat, crossing one leg over the other as Elijah stares at me intimately "Elijah" Klaus says in his sarcastic tone causing me to giggle slightly since i had not been in their atmosphere for 2 long yet amazing years.

"My apologies, would you like a redo?" he asks Lucien still keeping his eyes on me "No, it's fine. I'm sure y/n just expected more because they know you." he laughs drunkenly despite barely even drinking a full glass of alcohol.

"Well I'm sure you'll do better tomorrow, when we return with a bunch of gifts for dear old Niklaus." I turn my head from Elijah to Klaus with a big grin on my face.

Elijah looks at me in complete and utter disgust as I eye Lucien like a tart, in all honesty I couldn't care less about where Elijah's eyes were placed even if it were on my most promiscuous parts. My eyes would remain on Lucien.

Lucien's villainous grin as he concocted an evil plan, although I knew that his plan was just as rubbish as his brain... his looks made up for it I suppose, his personality was the big part.

After a while Klaus and Lucien became closer than close friends and started talking about old times as Elijah and I just stand there.

Standing up from the couch I reach into my back pocket pull out a cigarette "excuse me." I mumble walking past the men and outside to the courtyard.

Lighting my cig, inhaling it to feel absolutely nothing. Minutes pass of standing in the courtyard alone, covered in my own cancerous smoke "old habits never die, or so the young people of today say." I hear a voice say from the overhanging balcony.

"yes well seeing you certainly stresses me out." waving the smoke out of my face as I look up to see Elijah standing over me with no hint of emotion in his face "last time I checked you had the ability to shed tears." I point my cig at him and he nods.

"Well last time I had a tough choice to make." "Tough choice to make" I laugh to myself rubbing my tongue along the inside of my cheek "so telling me how you truly felt was a tough choice." rolling my eyes turning away from him as he vamps in front of me.

"we had no chance." he says stopping me, i place the cig to my lips inhaling it slowly before blowing the smoke in his face. Elijah doesn't flinch "I know why you finally have something to say, Elijah." crossing my arms over.

I had thought it over, why he never told me about his feelings or even told me about anything going on about his life. Yet every single time I never got an answer, even if I had thought about it for months but now its more apparent than ever.

"you're actually jealous." the disbelief in my voice more apparent than the smoke in the room "I am not Jealous." he scoffs as I walk past him "you see me with Lucien and you finally realise that he has someone that you once could of had." laughing and I storm out of the Mikaelson home.

Tossing my cig on the floor and stamping on it, Elijah grabs my arm dragging me back inside. "you aren't leaving." he says through his gritted teeth in an obviously annoyed tone "I don't remember saying you could touch me, Elijah." pulling my arm out of his grasp and he nods accepting that I was no longer wrapped around his finger.

"I don't like you with him." he says as I turn my back to him making my way up the stairs as he vamps in front of me once more, this time closer than before, his lips only inches away and I can't help but remember why I felt a certain way about him.

"You don't like me, period." I correct him. "I-" his mouth open but nothing comes out besides a slight noise, astonished by my fact he stares at me. A slight smirk appearing on his face "motus" pushing him back and walking past him and back into the room that Lucien and Klaus had been occupying.

[cipheramnesia]

What a fucking failure at life you are 💀 y'know scrolling through your photos I just know in time you will age like fucking milk and even the 20 filters a photo won't help you overcome that reality. And when that day comes no one will want to be around you because you'll have established yourself as the fucked up sex weirdo that skinwalks as the kind of woman he wishes he'd gotten to fuck in his 20s who's unbearable to be around because of it. Enjoy your remaining years of heavy filter euphoria though, that'll be the last time you experience happiness unless you fix your shit right now (and even that joy will be a shallow mockery of what the real thing is, just like you are) and you can handwave this off but you know it's true. When was the last time you saw an old tran surrounded by family and friends?

I appreciate your sending this to me, because it helps me to better understand what you may be going through.

First, I have to mention that it's at a bare minimum insensitive, and more realistically inappropriate to use terminology like sk*nw*lker outside its correct cultural context. I hope if nothing else you can make efforts to be more considerate about different races and cultures. Unfortunately I've had to encounter multiple instances of people using terms which are hurtful, appropriative, or fully racist in pursuit of attempts to verbally degrade me. I wish at a minimum you will in future leave other disenfranchised groups out of these kinds of messages.

Now, that aside, it seems like you have some difficulty surrounding sexuality and selfies and family connections. I'm sorry that's part of your life. It may help you to try and spend less time dwelling on things which upset you but don't impact your life. For example, why so fixated on filters? I don't use them because I find they make my pictures look unsettling and flat.

Perhaps the worry here is aging? We'll all age over time, and look different, and many of us will look back on ourselves as younger people. I don't have much history, but now I have a story in pictures, and that's a joy.

It's interesting to see someone who's open about her sexuality as being a "sex weirdo." Whatever makes that seem upsetting may be something to talk about with partners beforehand. I have a good number of open conversations with my partners, and it's benefitted our relationships. One of the nice parts of being in the kink community for me really has been open and honest communication and understanding consent. Now, just as a quick notation about this, sending a stranger direct messages where you misgender her and suggest deviant sex acts is not something which you should do without consent. Something to consider for the future, my friend.

Family relationships are pretty difficult that's for sure. I'm pretty lucky that my surviving parent, my dad, is loving and accepting. He's in his 80s and we don't live close by but we talk on the phone often. I've been with my nonbinary wife 14 years, married for twelve! And with my nonbinary partner for two years also. Covid being what it is, I don't have as many photos as I could, but I count myself very lucky to have such a great found family and blood relatives. Not everyone has that kind of luck, but hopefully you can get people in your life that care. Maybe you could talk to them about needing to send strangers messages online? I don't know.

I suppose I'll take this as a reminder to take care with how I treat other cultures, and a reminder even when I'm feeling down that I'm lucky in many ways. To me, what I see in good things for my life is that it should be the sort of things everyone has. I wish all queer people had understanding families or partners. It's absurd and angering that so many people will abandon love of someone for something as minor as gender. I don't know, you're not very good at being mean I guess? But that's a good thing.

Anyway, here's some pictures of me with my found family. The first one we're in one of the rooms in the house we own. You'd be surprised how many of us trans folx have found places to be loved.

These asks are always OK to reblog but don't harass the asker please. It accomplishes nothing.

[seonghwasriceball]

Enhypen Reaction

To being jealous

Lee Heeseung

A difficult guy to make jealous, I think. Like, it's Lee Heeseung. It doesn't get much better than that. But, anyway, he wouldn't get jealous in a "Someone was flirting with my s/o, what if they woo them and I lose them" kind of way, but more in a "My s/o is giving someone else attention, and I want them to pay attention to me" sort of way.

You were at Enhypen's dorm to spend some time with your boyfriend, but the maknae line had called you away to play a game with them because they were tired of only interacting with people in their group. And for the first little while Heeseung was fine with it, happy even, he loved seeing that you and his group mates got along well, but after two hours, he was getting lonely. He didn't like that you were spending more time with the youngest three than with him, because you were there to spend time with him in the first place. At first, he sat in the room and stared at you for a while, hoping you'd get the hint, but when that didn't work, he went away to sulk in the bedroom. After about twenty minutes of self pity, Heeseung began to feel guilty, because he was the eldest, and therefore he should be more mature than this, and after all, they are kids. They need to interact with people, they're still growing and developing. But the way you hugged Riki when he lost a round instead of hugging him made Heeseung sad. So, instead of whining into his pillow, he texted you to ask if you'd come spend time with him any time soon, and started giggling and wriggling about when you told him you'd finish that round of whatever it was you guys were playing and you're all his. When you finally came and laid down next to him on the bed, he had the biggest, cheesiest grin on his face, and he basically pinned you to the bed with his body, his face in your neck, voice slightly muffled when he said,

"Hope you peed before you got here, because I'm not letting go any time soon."

To sum up, Heeseung will get quiet, then disappear when jealous. He'll recognise and acknowledge the feeling, and then feel bad and immature for it, but cuddles and reassurances from you make it all better.

Jay Park

Jay is more easily jealous than Heeseung, but again, not in an insecure way, but in a "this guy has the audacity to flirt with and touch my s/o? Nah, I don't think so" and a "that should be me with my arm around their shoulder" kinda way.

So, you were out with Jay shopping, and whilst in one of the shops, you met a classmate who was always kind of flirty with everyone but had been much more forward with you specifically over the past few weeks. It had made you pretty uncomfortable, but he wouldn't stop. You had told Jay about it when it would not let up, and he had asked if you wanted him to do anything about it but respected your wishes when you said no and that you just wanted to vent. But now, this guy was right in front of him, flirting with you and taking your hand to play with your fingers, ignoring Jay and his arm around your waist. When you took your hand back, and he reached out to take it in his again, Jay decided he had enough. Slapping his hand away and glaring at him, Jay pulled you closer to his body and proceeded to tell the guy off.

"They are quite clearly in a relationship, dude. And on top of that, extremely uncomfortable with you. Take a hint and back off, have some self-awareness."

Overall, Jay doesn't really get insecure kind of jealous, more of a protective kind of jealous. He just wants people to know you're taken, and above all, he wants you to feel safe and comfortable. I want one

Jake Sim

Cliché, I know, but I will push the soft boy Jake agenda as far as I can. Jake doesn't get jealous much; he loves and trusts you way too much for that. He wouldn't put his entire heart and soul into you if he didn't. But, sometimes, he'll see you post a picture with some friends, or see you talking with them so freely and excitedly, or you'll mention one name more frequently than usual. He'll start thinking about how being an idol means you can't do all that stuff with him out in the open, and he can't always be there for you when you need him like that one guy from your class can. So, he gets sad and starts to close in on himself. He's more quiet than usual and doesn't joke around with the boys as much.

After class, you had gone straight to the dorm to congratulate your boyfriend and his group on their successful promotions stream fever. You were currently telling Jake about your day because he always insisted you tell each other everything, just to stay as connected as possible. You mentioned one name a lot more than you usually did during your story because you were set up to do a project in pairs, and he was your partner. The guy in question was a classmate you were sort of friends with, but not entirely. Like, if you didn't know anyone else in a room and he was there, you wouldn't feel uncomfortable sitting next to and talking with him, but you wouldn't go out of your way to eat lunch with him, so you had never really mentioned him much before, but he had made a hilarious mistake when working together, which you thought would make Jake laugh, so you told him all about it. When you finished, you excused yourself to the bathroom, and that left Jake alone with his thoughts. He began thinking about how this guy makes you laugh, and is in your class, and can spend so much more time with you, and he started to get really sad. When you came back, you recognised the look on his face immediately and went to sit on his lap and tell him about how much you missed him and how you wish he could be the one doing the project with you. Good intentions, didn't work. That sort of just highlighted the fact that he was missing out on time with you. When you saw it was just getting worse, you resorted to the most fool-proof method you could think of - you began kissing him all over his face and telling him that you're so proud of everything he's doing. You don't mind the long periods of time apart because you wanted him to do what he loves and that you'll always be waiting for him when he has time off. If that doesn't seem to work (it usually does), you would tackle him down on the bed and cuddle him, basically like a koala on its tree. Arms around his shoulders, legs around his waist, your nose against his ear, telling him every three seconds that he was your favourite thing ever.

"Thank you for staying with me no matter what, baby. I love you so much."

Yeah, he gets sad, but you just cling onto him and force it into him that you love him; he'll soon be back to the happy little Aussie boy we all know and love.

Park Sunghoon

How are you gonna make Sunghoon jealous, huh? How are you going to find someone who could live up to that? That's right, you won't. The only way Sunghoon is going to get jealous is if you're sitting really close with somebody else who could possibly be as good a boyfriend to you as him. Like, say you have a guy best friend who you're really close to, and you're sitting on the couch with your legs over his lap. This guy knows you almost as well as Sunghoon does, and you're clearly comfortable with him like you are with Sunghoon, so it's entirely possibly that if he were to make a move, you'd be up for it. That's really the only scenario I think Sunghoon would get jealous in. Of course, he won't say anything, tsundere Sunghoon ain't about that. He'll probably just come sit next to you and make some sort of physical contact that gets across the message of, "My s/o, I love you, even though I don't verbally tell you all the time."

You were over at the boys' dorm, just cause, and were watching a movie with your best friend, Jay, and boyfriend, Sunghoon. You had known Jay for much longer, and in all those years you had been best friends it just became natural that you would invade his personal space, so when you put your legs over his, and leaned back on Sunghoon, neither one thought much of it. Sunghoon got up about halfway through the movie to get a refill on his drink, and you just let your body flop down in his place, legs still on top of Jay's, who now had his hand over your knee. Sunghoon thought nothing of it, until he got back, when a specific line was said on the screen. You and Jay said it in perfect unison and then burst out laughing. Sunghoon recognised the line as one you and Jay would say to each other all the time, it had become an inside joke between you two that neither of you ever explained to anyone, so you always looked like a couple of weirdos to everyone. Everyone except for Sunghoon, who saw that and couldn't help but think about how Jay knew you throughout all of your life, and he was relatively new to you, and got kind of insecure. But, he knew you wouldn't choose Jay over him romantically, but he still didn't see any harm in showing you both who was really your favourite boy. So, instead of lifting the top half of your body and sliding underneath so you were once again leaning against him, Sunghoon picked you up from the couch completely, and sat back down with you in his lap, making sure your body was slightly turned away from Jay. For the rest of the movie he sat there with his chin on your shoulder, arms around your waist, giving you little kisses on your neck every so often.

"Mmmm, isn't this so much more comfortable than before, Y/n?"

All in all, Sunghoon doesn't get jealous often, and when he does, he refuses to admit to it. But, you know. Everyone knows.

Kim Sunoo

HO, BOY, when Sunoo gets jealous, he gets JEALOUS. And, what's more, he makes sure you know. He makes sure the person making him jealous knows. He makes sure everyone in the room knows. He'll start doing aegyo for you, then turn to the guy with a disgusted look on his face, you know the one, the very Sunoo one. Then he'll turn back to you and ask you how cute you think he is, then has the BALLS to ask who you think is better looking, him or the guy who was trying to flirt, and he doesn't even acknowledge them as a threat, he just wants to show them that he has you whipped because he does.

You were hanging out outside with Sunoo when someone came up to you and started flirting, eventually asking for your number. Obviously, you instantly declined and turned to grab Sunoo's arm to leave before he got all competitive, but, alas, it was too late. 4Sunoo was already giving this guy The Looktm. Sighing internally, you just decided you would enjoy the show and pull Sunoo away before he emotionally destroyed this guy. At first, it was just some light scolding. 'They shut you down when you started flirting, what makes you think they'll give you their number?' and 'Couldn't you see they were clearly with someone. We were holding hands, are you blind?' but then he busts out the aegyo, asking you if you would really leave him for some rando off the street, finally turning back to the guy, and telling him once and for all to get lost, before he grabbed your arm and flounced away. You were positive that, had his hair been long enough, he would have ended with a sassy hair flick. and now I must manifest long hair Sunoo real quick

"You really thought you did something there, huh? Newsflash, they've been trying to shut you down nicely since you looked their way."

Yeah, he ain't having none of it.

Yang Jungwon

my SON As much as Jungwon wants to appear mature in your relationship, he's still just a kid, and kids emotions get the best of them sometimes, so yeah, he gets jealous. He gets jealous like Heeseung, in that he wants all your attention, and like Jay because he wants to be the one who's holding on to you, and like Jake, because he knows that he can't spend as much time with you as is ideal, because not only is he an idol, but he is a leader, and therefore has more responsibility than just another classmate you know. So a jealous Jungwon is a sad, insecure Jungwon pls my heart I just want him to smile and never feel sad ever, I will punch his emotions for him if he needs it, he activates such big caring older sister feelings in me, more so than my actual little brother

Enhypen had finished their schedules for the day in the mid-afternoon, so instead of just lounging at the dorm, Jungwon decided he'd pick you up from school and take you to get something to eat. He texted you beforehand to make sure you didn't have any schedule clashes that might get in the way. He waited in the company vehicle while student streamed out of the building, watching to spot you. When he did, he didn't like what he saw. You had exited the building with a boy he had never seen before, laughing and joking. You were actually being quite boisterous, pushing and pulling each other, he could hear your laughter from where he was in the car park. He always loved that sound, and he was happy you were having fun, but he wished like hell that it was him you were hiving fun with. He wanted to mess up your hair and then trip you over and laugh as you stumbled, he wanted to be the one telling you the jokes that made you laugh so hard you had to bend over. When he saw you jump on the other guys back was when he had had enough. He got his manager who was driving to honk the car horn, and got out of the car and waved at you. When you recognised the figure in the mask and bucket hat, Jungwon saw your eyes light up like a Christmas tree right before you started sprinting towards him, without even saying goodbye to your classmate. When you were finally within hugging distance, you launched yourself at your boyfriend, telling him how much you loved and missed him, and how boring everything was without him. Just your natural reaction to Jungwon's presence was enough to calm his insecurities, and he calmly told you that he had missed you as well. It wasn't until later, when he was dropping you off at home did he ask about what was happening with your classmate at school.

"So, who was that guy you left the school building with?"

Baby gets jealous easily, but is also comforted really easily, to the point you never even realise he was jealous in the first place.

Nishimura Riki

Riki is not having it. He doesn't even give the jealousy a chance to creep upon him. If he wants your attention, he's asking for it. If he needs reassurance, he tells you. If he is ever uncomfortable with the way somebody else is touching you, he makes his objections known. He doesn't see the point of keeping this all to himself and worrying about it when he could talk to you and sort it all out. He has more important things to worry about, like whose bed he's going to invade that night or when he's next going to get his fix of bungeoppang. A lot of times, if you're interacting with someone in a way that makes him feel jealous, he'll just pick you up and carry you away, usually just to plop you down in the next room and take a nap on your shoulder.

You were backstage at Inkigayo, waiting for Riki to finish getting his makeup done, so you talked to Sunoo for a while. You actually found out you had quite a lot in common and were bonding over your shared interests for so long that you didn't even notice when Riki was let out of the makeup artists chair. He came and sat next to you, but you didn't acknowledge him, which was fine with him; he didn't want to interrupt such an animated conversation. When Sunoo suggested exchanging numbers so you guys could continue your conversation later, Riki began to feel that tiny bit strange. As he watched you enter your numbers on each other's phones and then Sunoo walk off to get his makeup done, he recognised what was happening and decided to put a stop to it. When Heeseung came up to try and talk to you both, Riki just straight up ignored him as he stood up and lifted you up by your armpits to take you to the corner of the room where he sat you on top of the dressing table and just pressed his face into your neck, muffledly complaining that you liked Sunoo more. Carefully, you ran your fingers through his hair and told him you could only see Sunoo as a friend and that the number was literally just so you guys could gush over Anne With an E when you got home that night.

"All these guys do is take up your time away from me. I hate them. You're never allowed to speak to anyone but me ever again."

Yeah. Riki doesn't take no sh*t when it comes to things cutting into his cuddling time.