#cillian murphy x ofc

[justrainandcoffee]

Cillian always loved books. But his visits to the library now have other interests. Cillian goes there just to talk to her. He'd listening to Jiyan for hours, even if she's talking about dead languages. She's really smart and he loves that. And she's beautiful, too. Really beautiful.

One day, Cillian thinks, he'll be brave enough to ask her out. For now, he's happy to be next her... Holding her hand.

For @lunarubra . I hope you like it!! I love these two, so much 🥺❤️.

Here you have their masterlist ❤️.

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

MidnightsWithDearKatyTSPB’s Recommendation List: March PT. 2

Welcome to part 2 of March’s recommendation list. Down below, you can find the link to take you back to part 1 featuring Peaky Blinders, Frankie Morales from Triple Frontier, Frank Castle, and the works that I posted. I still have some specialists that I’m traveling to go see, so there might not be 32 links this time around, but we’ll have to wait and see. The goal for March is to write another chapter In This Heart and rewrite The Spark. If you are interested in having your writing challenges featured here, or your stories, or even just your blog, please feel free to tag me in your works, message me, or use the hashtag MidnightWithDearKatyTSPB. I hope you are having an amazing March and you didn’t have such a hard time springing ahead. 

☘️ March '23 Pt. 1

April '23 Pt. 1 🌸

Masterlist

37 of 44 Years (Moodboard) ... Dedication to my parents.

All For You My Daisy (Moodboard) >> Garret Hedlund, Pedro Pascal, and Tommy Shelby

Begin Again (Moodboard) >> Ted Lasso x OFC!Penny Fletcher | Moodboard made for @teds-mustache-wrangler story Begin Again.

Innocence and Sadness (Moodboard) >> Arthur Shelby ... dedicated to @cillmequick

Peaky x Lana Challenge (Moodboard) >> Alfie Solomons x Reader x Tommy Shelby | “I’ve got a black limousine and two gentlemen who escort me through these halls.” 

Two Broken Souls (Moodboard) >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Estella Holland | “Come, Josephine in my flying machine. Going up, she goes, up she goes.”

Update//Calm Down by All Time Low (Moodboard) >> Garrett Hedlund, Luke Grimes, and Pedro Pascal

ONE-SHOTS:

As His Daughter by @sneakyblinders >> Dad!Tommy Shelby x Reader ft. Daughter!Kate Shelby - Summery: As Kate Shelby becomes an older sister yet again, she realizes she doesn't really know her father. Her mother is on a mission to change that. | You'll go through the emotions with this one, I promise. For those who need the warning, there are mentions of childbirth!

Loving Girl by @valentine-in-my-quinjet >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: You've always known you would be a better partner for Tommy. After Grace died, you had to reassess your motivations for being close to Tommy because he needed a friend more than ever before. | You will need a tissue with this one. TW: Suicide Mentioned

Make Your Heart My Home by @look-at-the-soul >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summery: Y/N hasn't had the best life. In fact, she's physically running from it into the physical arms of one Tommy Shelby, who saves her. | Read this, get a little emotional, but fall in love with its ending.

Mr. Girraffe by @teenwolf-theoriginals >> Dad!Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Florence's giraffe gets lost in Johnny Dogs camp. | The family dynamic in this is quite adorable, and I love how sweet Tommy is as well.

The Perfect Team by @runnning-outof-time >> Arthur Shelby x Reader - Summary: Arthur's ability to reason with (Y/N)'s child has them realizing that they work rather well together. | This is absolutely adorable and light-hearted, definitely recommend reading it.

'Teach You a Lesson by @celticmelody >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: you’re soon to marry Thomas Shelby, the infamous horseman amongst the gangsters in Birmingham. however, when he finds out you’ve never ridden before, he makes it a task to teach you… amongst other lessons that unravel afterwards. | If all riding lessons with Tommy were to end this way, I would take them every day as well. 🥵

When One Heart Breaks The Other, Follows by @little-diable >> Tommy Shelby x Reader | Summary: Tommy has been at war for months, and the only thing the reader can cling to is the letters he kept writing. Until the day when he no longer writes to her, when she no longer knows if he's alive or not. All until one last letter finds its way to her. | I've been emotional lately, okay? So did I need tissues when I read this? Yes! But was I smiling by the end? YES!

SERIES:

*A Different Sort of Man Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 by @evita-shelby >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Eva, Canon!Tommy x Grace Burgess - Summary: Or where Eva plays around with magic, and Tommy wakes up in a universe where Grace is his wife. While in that universe, Tommy discovers just how different his life would have been if he had pursued the pretty witch in 71 Watery Lane. | My mother always warned me growing up to never fiddle with magic, but this just makes me want to... Only two chapters in, and it's so good. The switching of points of view is everything I could have asked for.

The Photographer // Part 13 by @midnightmagpiemama >> Modern!Tommy Shelby x Photographer!Reader - Summary: Hired to take pictures of your boyfriend's cousin's wedding, you are excited to spend the night in the presence of your boyfriend doing what you love. The night, however, doesn't go as according to plans. Or, the one where Gina and Micheal get married, Gina sits Lizzy at Tommy's table. And people have opinions on your relationship with Tommy. | Erin is such a fantastic writer, and I truly love this series. In this chapter, she just captures Tommy and Polly so beautifully.

A Royal Wedding of Small Heath Part 1 // Part 2 by @sneakyblinders >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Tommy is getting married in what the newspaper is calling The Royal Wedding of Small Heath with the announcement of their engagement. It's fitting, as his wife is his Queen. | If I had to picture my wedding to Tommy, this is exactly how I would want it to go. I love how some parts came straight from the TV show. It was just perfect.

Welcome to Downtown, Mr. Shelby by @notyour-valentine >> Tommy Shelby x Crawley!OC - Summary: He was born on a boat, with neither of his parents sure of the date after the fact, unregistered and unlisted until he went to fight for his country. Her birth had been celebrated with the ringing of church bells, champagne toasts, and announcements in newspapers on both sides of the Atlantic. Their worlds could not have been more different, and perhaps that was why, when Thomas Shelby looked at Lady Charlotte Crawley, he saw more than her title, more than her looks- he saw an opportunity. | Enjoyed reading this and emerging myself into this little world, and look forward to what is to come for Charlotte and Tommy.

SERIES:

*Push & Pull // Chapter 4: Coming Of Age by @milkymoon2483 >> Frank Castle X Plus Size Jewish OC Hannah Friedman - Summary: You’re going back to your small town for your father’s funeral and Shiva. You know you’re about to face family drama, but what worries you the most is that you’re going to see HIM, your dad’s long-time friend and probably the most attractive man you have ever met.  When Frank finally sees you and realizes that you're all grown up, he struggles with accepting his budding feelings for you. | This chapter had me feeling so many emotions. You start with a stomach drop, then you feel so sad, and then you end it on a great high, needing a tall glass of water to cool down. Anna knows how to make you feel every emotion that the main character is going through at every moment of the chapter. That is a true talent.

Triple Frontier:

🍑 Appeteaser Benny Miller + Shower Sex by @dameronscopilo >> Benny Miller x Reader - Summary: Benny comes home after a long day and enjoys some time with his girl. | Let me just say this is really hot, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Here With Me by @pasukiyo >> Frankie Morales x f!reader - Summary: When your husband promises it will only be one week, your gut tells you it won't, you beg him to stay if not just for you, but for your family. (Horrible summary by me) | This starts off so sad and emotional, and it ends on a spicy note. It's perfect.

A Proposition by @dameronscopilot >> Santiago "Pope" Garcia x f!reader x Benjamin "Benny" Miller - Summary: Benny returns to Florida after six months of backpacking his way across Australia, and the surf and sun have treated him well. Very well. You can't help but notice. ...Santiago thinks that maybe it's time for the two of you to change things up in the bedroom. Because if he's going to share you with anyone, it's most certainly going to be Benjamin Miller | Is it just me, or is it really HOT in here right now? 🥵 I think I better go open the window after reading this one.

Untitled Sick!fic with Benny by @dameronscopilot >> Benny Miller x Reader - Summary: benny knows exactly what you need when you're sick—in more ways than one. | If Benny ever wants to come to take care of me like this when I'm sick, or now even, he's more than welcome.

"Wear whatever you want, I can fight." by @plaguedoctorsmistress >> Benny Miller x Reader - Summary: When your boyfriend can’t seem to do anything but whine about your outfit, Benny’s jealousy finally gets the best of him, and he takes matters into his own hand. | Benny can defend my honor any day and call me princess all he wants.

*The Wedding Party by @goodwithcheese >> Frankie Morales x f!reader - Summary: Series Summary: A combined bachelorette/bachelor party introduces you to a brown-eyed pilot. | I loved this series so much that I read it in one night on AO3 when I came across it. I'm so glad it came up on my dashboard so I could share it with you guys here. It's both fluffy and sexy!

You Again?! by @theunbearableweightofpedropascal >> Benny Miller x Reader - Summary: You keep running into the guy you had sex with in an airport bathroom. | If you looking for some good spiciness and a mixture of giggles, this one is for you.

CILLIAN MURPHY:

Chances Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, & Part 4 by @creativepawsworld >> Cillian Murphy x OFC!Paige - Summary: A single mother meets an unlikely lover after a concert. Putting herself out of her comfort zone. Can she find herself a mate for life? | The story has everything in it, fluff, a little bit of angst, and some spiciness.

Quicky by @peakyscillian >> Cillian Murphy x Fem!Reader - Summary: Cillian just can't wait. | If you are looking for something romantic, hot, and with a dash of laughter, this is it.

GERALT OF RIVIA:

Late Bloomer by @cherienymphe >> Alpha!Geralt x Omega!Reader - Summary: Geralt of Rivia saves you from more than just a werewolf attack. | Sometimes, a one-shot is so good you share it twice with your followers. I'm pretty sure I shared it when I first started doing recommendations, and I'm sharing it again.

PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS:

Chokehold by @psychedelic-ink >> Joel Miller x Reader x Ezra - Summary: Joel’s frustrations run deep; to him, you were a twisted source of purity; touching you forced him to think, forced him to feel. But not Ezra. With him, he could do anything. A scary yet also exhilarating feeling. Or alternatively: You wake up to Joel and Ezra having sex. | The emotions you feel while reading this are just too good for me not to share.

I Forgot About Time and Space by @psychedelic-ink >> Ezra x Fem!Reader - Summary: You cook for Ezra's guests, and seeing the sight of you being so domestic awakens something in him. | The smut in this *chef's kiss* and the plot in general. Please read this when you are alone. You'll thank me later.

*The Infinity Cube by @littlemisspascal >> Marcus Pike x Reader ft. Various Pedro Characters - Summary: When you play with a strange cube, you’re transported out of your current reality with your boyfriend Marcus into brand new ones starring alternate versions of your boyfriend who look and act entirely different every time. With each encounter, you start to wonder if you’ll ever make it back to your real universe? | Such a good use of the Multiverse and it introduced me to characters that Pedro played that I haven't yet watched. Rae does an amazing job keeping you at the edge of your seat and passing off such deep emotions. It's a must read for Pedro Pascal fans.

*Meet The Millers by @musings-of-a-rose >> Joel Miller x Benny Miller x Will Miller x f!reader - Summary: Moving into the Boston Quarantine Zone after nearly 20 years on the outside takes some adjusting. A misdirection one night guides you to the 3 men who will change the course of your life. | This series has a little bit of everything from drama to love and spiciness. There isn't much more you could ask for out of this series other than wishing for more.

When You're Reading Me by @psychedelic-ink >> Joel Miller x Reader - Summary: If you had to make a list of things Joel Miller might buy you as a gift— nipple clamps would not be a part of it. | *Internally screams* This was really hot, and I think I'll go grab a cold shower now.  

STRANGER THINGS:

The Grief of Losing Eddie Munson by @eufezco >> Steve Harrington x Reader - Summary: Best friends with Eddie Munson, the reader goes through the stages of grief of losing her best friend with her family at her side. | Someone pass me the box of tissues. This was so good. I cried through almost the whole thing.

MOODBOARDS:

My Luck by @forgottenpeakywriter >> Tommy Shelby x Reader

My Sun, My Moon and All My Stars by @zablife >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Aurora Sabini | Lee puts together a breathtakingly beautiful moodboard for a what-if scenario in the Peaky Blinders universe. It leaves you wanting to read more and more for the couple.

Your Bread by @forgottenpeakywriter >> Alfie Solomons x Reader

Your Eyes by @forgottenpeakywriter >> Tommy Shelby x Reader

You Like That by @dearshelby >> Tommy Shelby x Reader | Tall glass of cold water to cool down, please!

@psychedelic-ink - SIL, is such an amazing writer, writing most recently for Pedro Pascal's characters and sharing her amazing works with us here. Her masterlist includes more than just Pedro's characters, having written for the MCU and Oscar Isaac, to name a couple. I love the emotions you feel through every piece of writing she puts out, and I have yet to find a piece I don't like. I think you'll find you like or perhaps love her writing just as much as I do.

@shelbydelrey - Isa is a Peaky Blinder writer whose work I enjoy reading and love seeing the moodboards she puts out as well. I would definitely give Isa a follow because she brings positivity to your dashboard with her reviews and welcoming spirit.

[hello-there]

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[call-sign-shark]

Heaven In Your Eyes || Masterlist

Pairing: Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC (Heaven Lavey Shelby)

Additional content/Info: CLICK HERE

Fic Summary: He meets her at church one dreary night, guided by her singing. Her name? Heaven Lavey. White ivory hair, fair porcelain skin, and petite shape, this almost ethereal creature is Arthur's strict opposite. Yet, all it took was one dive into her heavenly eyes for him to be convinced God has sent His sweetest angel to save his bastard soul. The two lovebirds, obsessed with each other, are determined to live their love no matter people's judgments and no matter the dangers of a Peaky Blinder's life. They are together through the best and through the worst.

But behind her holy appearance and sweet facade, Heaven Lavey is dangerous. With rumors of witchcraft and murder, her shady past weighs on her shoulders. And if she is a blessing for Arthur Shelby, she will soon prove to be a curse for those who dare to stand in her and her husband's way. Even Thomas Shelby himself.

She is Arthur’s Angel, but don't get fooled by her doe eyes: for the rest of us, she is the White Devil.

And by extend, you are too.

Why? Because Heaven Lavey… It’s you.

TW: Major character death, explicit sexual content, canonical violence, graphic description of violence, blasphemy, witch trials and burning of innocent women, dependent relationship (if Arthur and Heaven are happy in their relationship, they are obsessed and possessive, which leads to bursts of violence and deifying from Arthur. By no means I am claiming their relationship is healthy, but it is what works for them)

ACT I. SACRILEGE

♢ Ch. 1 || Heaven in Your Eyes

♢ Ch. 2 || Never Did, Never Dared

♢ Ch. 3 || Something Wicked This Way Comes 🔞

♢ Ch. 4 || Dead Bird at Witchin Hour

♢ Ch. 5 || The Hell in His Eyes

♢ Ch. 6 || The One They Should Have Burned

♢ Ch. 7 || Of Matches and Gasoline 🔞

♢ Ch. 8 || Tango on Broken Dreams

ACT II. CARNAGE

♢ Ch. 9 || For Whom the Bells Toll

♢ Ch. 10 || Closer to Heaven or Closer to Hell? 🔞

♢ Ch. 11 || When The Bridges Burn

♢ Ch. 12 || As They Always Did

♢ Ch. 13 || Cross My Heart and Hope to Die

♢ Ch. 14 || Pure As a Lamb 🔞

♢ Ch. 15 || Women Like Me in a Men's World

♢ Ch. 16 || Après Moi le Déluge

♢ Ch. 17 || Our Old Friend Death (c o m i n g . . .)

♢ Ch. 18 || Il Diàvulu Biancu

♢ Ch. 19 || Empire of Lies

♢ Ch. 20 || The Fog of Silent Hills

ACT III.

♢ Ch. 21 ||

♢ Ch. 22 ||

♢ Ch. 23 ||

♢ Ch. 24 ||

♢ Ch. 25 ||

♢ Ch. 26 ||

♢ Ch. 27 ||

♢ Ch. 28 ||

♢ The series can be longer.

Some events from the show are taken and obviously reworked. Yet, except for a few quotes and scenes, everything else is imagined by the author.

Related works - in chronological order-

♢ From Blood We Will Grow

♢ To Bark and Bite

♢ Kaiser Meeting Cyril (requested)

♢ A Bone to Pick With It (requested)

♢ Perfect Lines

♢ Savage Daughter

♢ A Slice of Us (Modern!HYE)

♢ Love Ritual (@zablife's celebration)

♢ The Woods Whisper 1, 2 (Halloween Horror)

♢Little Lamb 1, 2, 3 (Yandere!AU)

Moodboards and other content

♢ Playlist

♢ Moodboard Aesthetic

♢ Moodboard Chapter 6

♢Heaven In your Eyes Act II trailer

♢ Moodboard Chapter 12

♢ Heaven in your Eyes chapter 16 trailer

Looking for more? Check out Heaven's masterlist I and II

Taglist:

@adaydreamaway08 @theshelbyclan @jomarch-wannabe @esposadomd @woofgocows @anathemasworld @anastasia000 @kate654 @kxnnxy @babayaga67 @meowtastick @meowtastics @shelbyssins @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @bluevenus19 @justrainandcoffee @kishie8 @zablife @alexandra-001 @copinghex @alexizodd @helen06dreamer @kmc1989 @peakyswritings @peakyltd @chaosinkest1996 @vanhelsingsbigtoe @cherubswhispers @lokigirlszendaya e @mischievouslittlecreature @he6rtshaker @bemyqueenofdarkness @cljordan-imperium @red-riding-wood @jjovin3221 @06nasyrah13 @randomcreator-09 @weepingdreammarvel

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

This story was so adorable! 🥰

Chances Part 4

Pairing = Cillian Murphy x Original Character

Summary = Final Part

Warnings = Fluff, lots and lots of fluff

Word Count = 681

“What if I hadn't asked for your name? And time hadn't stopped when you said it to me? Of all of the plans that I could've made Of all of the nights that I couldn't sleep”

Turning my head at the sound of the singing, my eyes fluttered opened to see Cillian standing just beside my bed singing to our little bundle of joy that arrived in the world four weeks early. It was surreal one minute I was in Cillian’s parents, the next I was in an operating theatre getting yet another C section to Welcome our Baby Girl to the World.

“What's a girl like you doing in a place like this? In a crowded room, what are the odds? What's a guy like me doing in a place like this? Getting close to you, but here we are…”

Listening to the words Cillian was singing to our little girl I couldn’t help but smile, the familiarity of the words playing in my mind but not sinking in as to why I knew them. Cillian had yet to notice I was awake and there was no way I was going to interrupt  what was probably the most beautiful scene in front of me.

“What are the chances that we'd end up dancing? Like two in a million, like once in a life I could have found you, put my arms around you Like two in a million, like once in a life What are the chances?”

I felt tears prick in my mind as I was reminded of our night together eight months prior. One of the happiest times of my life, dancing with a tall, dark haired stranger with the most amazing eyes. Feeling the freest I had ever felt, there was no judgement, there was just me, just Cillian, together.

“Is it love? Is it fate? Who am I? Who's to say? Don't know exactly what it means Is it love? Is it fate? Where it leads, who can say? Maybe you and I were meant to be”

At that moment, Cillian happened to look in my direction, immediately seeing my eyes open. The smile never leaving his face as he continued to sing to our daughter who was settled quite happily in his arms. Reaching a hand up I wiped away a stray tear that had fallen from my eye as Cillian came closer to me, holding our baby girl so we could both see her sleeping face.

“What are the chances that we'd end up dancing? Two in a million, once in a life That I could have found you Put my arms around you (my arms around you) Two in a million, like once in a life, yeah What are the chances? Two in a million, once in a life What are the chances? Two in a million, once in a life

What if I'd never run into you? And what if you'd never smiled at me?”

“Where did you learn that song?” I asked quietly as he finished placing a small kiss on our little girls head, placing her back in the plastic cot the hospital provides after a baby is born. Walking back over to me, Cillian didn’t say anything as he leaned forward placing his forehead against mine, capturing my lips in the softest, yet most passionate kiss I had ever experienced in my life.

“Dermott” Cillian breathed as he parted from my lips, his head still remaining on mine, just staring into my eyes. “He says it's our song, because it describes how we met perfectly”

“It does” I nodded placing my head behind his head pulling him closer to me, placing my lips against his once more.

“I love you Paige” Cillian whispered against my lips

“I love you too Cillian” I nodded against him, enjoying the closeness we were sharing before his family came bounding through the door looking for a look at their newest addition.

Once Aoife Fiadh Murphy was born, there was simply no denying her parentage. She was the double of her father with the same stunning blue eyes.  

[darklydeliciousdesires]

She Belonged to the Wild - A Tommy Shelby/OC One Shot Story.

So since Tommy appeared to be quite popular, I think I might add him to the rotation of male muses, besties! Here you are, little bit of smut for you all :)

Words - 1,174

Warnings - Smut below the cut, minors DNI!

She smelled like summer, apples and horses, all the simpler pleasures Tommy had long forgotten drew the most contentment, the longings for the wagon and the brass, the campfire and the open air supressed beneath the thirst for power. 

He was a Blinder, after all. His thirst for more was unquenchable.  

At his roots, in his blood, though, gypsy was woven into his soul with threads that glittered, and he would always be this, would always come back to this. He could never truly sever, and since her, he didn’t desire to. He found himself at her wagon more and more, riding out over his land to find her, smiling at the simplicity of viewing her there in her long skirts, gold glittering her ears and fingers, fingers that lovingly ran a brush over Patch, her beloved horse.  

Her face lit up to see him approach, turning to move the brush over Patch’s flank as he climbed down from the large, black steed he rode. “Come to seek out a little solace, hm?”  

How well she knew him. He dropped his head, a hint of a smile playing his lips as he screwed a cigarette between them, lighting up. “Something like that, Els.”  

He was a man of so few words, his face always so passive. One never knew what lurked beyond the surface of Tommy Shelby, what stirred through his depths. Except for Elsie. She knew because she was the one who stirred them. Watching the storm begin to whirl in his eyes was half the fun, the precursor to the pleasure, her gaze flitting over him as he stood and smoked, waiting for her to finish tending to Patch. 

Once she was done, she padded barefoot through the long grass, casting off her blouse and skirts, revealing herself without a hint of bashfulness to both him and the early morning sun. The dew was damp and sumptuous beneath her feet, and for Tommy, the sight of her nearing him was perhaps even more splendorous than the pink hued dawn itself.  

His wry smile was all praise. “Blimey. That fuckin' figure. You're enough to drive a man out of his mind.” 

Approaching him, she moved her mountain of wavy dresses with the sweep of her hand, reaching for him, nimble fingers beginning to undo his shirt as he shrugged his jacket off. “God put me together well, I like to think.” 

He pulled her to him, his breath hot at her neck. “Mm, god didn’t create you, sweetheart. You’re much too rare for that.” His lips pressed against the silken flesh of her neck, hands wandering up her back as she arched against him. Her nimble fingers pulled him from his clothes, a naked tumble taking them into the long grass beneath, their kisses honey dripped and fever hot.  

Looking down upon him, she relished in the sight beneath her, Tommy moving to clasp her waist and turn her onto her back, her giggle playful as the damp dew met her soft skin in a cooling press. His full lips began to scatter paths of sizzling heat over her body, head dipping as he cupped her breast, his tongue circling the pink peak until it pebbled. Those kisses lowered, her curves tended to carefully, his sensual lips settling at her sex, kissing before parting.  

He took a long, slow lick at her, the taste of her womanhood, the softness of her neat, dark curls pulling a grunt from his throat, hands spreading her wider as he lapped thirstily at her folds. His eyes found hers, shining azure beaming light from the altar where he laid his worship to all that was sacred, beautiful, ethereal, blessings given back by the divinity of her taste, the sweetness of her scent.  

Her hands tugged in his hair, hips rising against his mouth as a tide of sunshine gleamed through her, each lick firm in pressure upon her bud, his fingers moving to stroke at her, pushing within the heavenly, slick clasp of her cunt. Sparks skipped through her, flames catching at her edges as she cried out, feeling him smile against her soaking folds, his full lips wrapping to suck her with pillowy heat.  

“Tommy, please. I... oh!”  

He hummed with laughter, tongue snaking over pink, velvet petals. “I know what you want, my wild beauty. You can wait a bit longer, though.”  

“I can’t!” she gritted, whimpering when he stopped, feeling his damp lips pucker upon her inner thigh. 

He moved to level with her face, kissing her softly, gently nuzzling her nose with his. “Yeah, you bloody can. Stop complaining, alright?”  

Shaking his head at her unimpressed pout, he moved back between her legs, his tongue evoking her wails once more. The pleasure he gratified her with was sharp, digging at her bones, sweeping over her nerves like the kiss of silk, her thighs beginning to writhe against his face as he ate her rapaciously.  

He was like a man half starved, not pausing or slowing, the punch of his fingers against her soaking walls having her mewling in delight, breathless and dizzy, Tommy moving to his knees and finally, guiding what she’d craved deep into the trembling hug of her cunt. Her back arched, her mouth dropping open as the thick of him split her wide, Elsie clutching at her breasts as she watched him intently, the cool fire of his eyes burning just for her.  

The way his cock spread her had stars tingling her insides, lit up and shooting as the pleasure darted through her like a hail of comets. He speared her deep, lean body moving steadily, her hands gliding over his lithe muscles, her walls fluttering around him. He arrowed her steadily to begin with, lowering to his elbows, mouth pressing to hers with kisses of scorching desire, her nails gently raking down his back.

Speeding up, her sob of pleasure made him tingle down to his depths as he drove into her, the lewd sounds of their sex filling the air along with the morning birdsong and occasional snort from the horses grazing closer to the camp, Elsie’s wails loudening by the second.  

“Oh, oh fuck!” she cried, her teeth nipping at his neck, her body feeling molten within the heat of his forge, flames roaring as she felt it reach out and pull her into the fire. Her muscles stiffened as she crested and shattered like heirloom glass around him, Tommy driving into her until he reached the same peak of divinity, breathless atop her as he felt the sun beginning to warm his back.  

He had her once again before riding back to his house, leaving her to her day. He knew there’d be a time where he’d look out of the window and find her gone, so until that fateful morning, he enjoyed his wild beauty all he could, while he could.  

Tommy knew he’d never seek to tame her. Perhaps he wouldn’t love her quite so much if he ever could.  

[luvrkive]

burning desire

cillian murphy x original female character || cillian murphy x reader

cillian murphy as Thomas Buckley

original female character as Diana Kaiden

summary:

"I drive fast, wind in my hair

I push you to the limits 'cause I just don't care

I've got a burning desire for you, baby."

...

There is no total stranger in this world. Everyone is somehow connected to one another whether if its online or personal.

Thomas Buckley started his first job wishing that this was his fresh start, but sometimes our wishes doesn't turn out the way we want.

Diana Kaiden wishes to find her true love during her stay in Cambridge but after finishing her first year, she loses hope to find that someone. But of course, what ifs will never vanish in the thoughts of someone. What if Diane already met him during her younger years?

She is familiarized with the majestic face but he is unfazed of what’s in-front of him.

PROLOGUE

[hello-there]

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[starkwlkr]

Hi

It's ok if the request got deleted no need to say sorry,

Can u pls make a fic about papa nolan finding out about cillian and physicist!reader's relationship,

Like would he be angry or accepting, i was wondering

And then if u r comfortable with it then a time jump to the wedding or pregnancies

I would really like to know his reactions!!

This is really just a follow up to another anon request (which u made a fic on) and had this idea

Anyway so sorry for the long request

Have an awesome day ahead!!!!

nolan!reader x cillian murphy headcanons

I’m going to make these headcanons if that’s ok 🫶🏼🫶🏼 and i think i got carried away but who cares 😌

Ok so obviously y/n and cillian met in the early 2000s (you can make up how they met)

papa nolan knows that y/n is talking to a boy but he doesn’t know it’s mr. ‘my eyes aren’t even that blue’ so when y/n tells papa nolan that her bf is coming over for dinner, he’s preparing to meet so douche bag who says his favorite movie is pulp fiction or fight club (nothing wrong with that, but the film bros make me want to gauge my eyes out)

anyways, cillian shows up and ofc they get along great <3

after cillian and y/n are now OFFICIAL official obviously the press asks about what papa nolan thinks and if they get along

y/n and cillian are just the it couple of the 2000s like they’re on the cover of every magazine with those cheesy headlines ‘she’s got the beauty AND the brains’

literally any interview cillian or papa nolan do, they ramble about y/n and how proud they are of her

and you know how it goes, first comes love then comes marriage then comes y/n with a baby carriage🤍💍🍼 butttttt our fav nepo baby and Irish man don’t do it in that order bc my girl y/n got pregnant with their first baby in 2003 and she’s named alexandria

papa nolan is so excited about the birth of baby alex and he always offers to babysit whenever even if he’s busy

baby alex and papa nolan are my favorite duo 🫶🏼

eventually cillian and papa nolan work together on batman begins and you bet that baby alex is always on set

papa nolan at first did not want to bring her because he thought alex would be scared but she loved being on set and meeting everyone

her and christian bale become besties by the end of filming 🤞🏼

baby alex got to say the last “cut!” and everyone laughed because of how cute she sounded

bonus: cillian tried to get her to put the scarecrow mask on but she thought it was yucky (her exact words)

y/n and cillian don’t have kids until like 2014 because they were busy with work obviously like cillian getting movie roles and y/n being at work 24/7 and getting a literal nobel peace prize but eventually she does get pregnant and BAM it’s twins

it’s 2014 and they’re still not married (it happens ya know just ask academy award winner michelle yeoh)

but y/n gets pregnant and she wants to wait until the twins’ birth and then get married

but anyways the murphy twins arrive and papa nolan just cries happy tears because he now has more grandchildren to love and spoil whenever he wants to (they’re named scarlett and wyatt and papa nolan gives them nicknames idk what they would be but go wild with your imagination besties 🫶🏼)

papa nolan just wants to see his daughter get married and see her happy with her new family 🫶🏼

the day of the wedding comes and baby alex is the flower girl and steals the show

it’s a private wedding BUT that doesn’t stop it from being the most famous wedding of 2014

ofc christian bale is there like who doesn’t want batman at their wedding?? tom hardy, best man um yes?! peaky blinders cast, jake gyllenhaal (swifties, don’t hate me, I love jake and he’s one of my favorite actors)

jessica chastain and anne hathaway ofc they’re invited

u know if heath ledger was still alive he would def be invited 🫶🏼

I’m picturing the kids having career day at their schools and each kid takes an adult like papa nolan goes to alex’s school, wyatt takes y/n and cillian goes with scarlett and every adult is just like “fuck, how am i supposed to go on after them?!”

papa nolan goes all out with his presentation for career day like he even called hans zimmer and christian bale to impress the kids (obviously hans zimmer would impress the teachers, not the kids but some kids recognize the music from batman movies so let’s just go with it)

twitter loves the murphy-nolan fam 🫶🏼

no bc i just imagine the edits to beautiful boy with dad!cillian and I’m bawling

ok ok flashforward to 2023 and oppenheimer is coming out and twitter gets more content on the murphy-nolan fam

y/n finally does an interview bc she worked with the cast and taught them about ✨science✨

Y/N AND CILLIAN AT THE OPPENHEIMER PREMIERE AND THEN PAPA NOLAN PHOTOBOMBING THEIR PICS

overall the murphy-nolan fam has my heart and surprise! the murphy kids watched barbie because the twins are not even old enough to watch oppenheimer and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want to watch their dad have fake s e x with another woman (FLORENCE PUGH ILY)

[brummiereader]

@emotionalcadaver my face throughout the entire chapter...

The amount of second hand awkwardness I felt when I read this chapter 😬. Both the scenes with Lizzie and May had me wanting to peek through my hands 😂.

I appreciated the casualness in the first scene where she's trying his gin before I was in the corner with popcorn watching the awkward encounter between Lizzie, May, Lucy and Tommy 🤭.

the temptation building within him to pick her up, swipe all the bottles of gin off of the table to crash upon the floor, and make love to her on that table until she screamed his name. I love how feral he is for her 😅! There doesn't seem to be a second that goes by where he's not falling into a daydream about what he wants to do with her. You can't tell me she doesn't know it, when she sees him slip into those moments 🤭.

"The toe of her shoe bumped against Tommy’s shin, rubbing up and down idly while she rested her head on her fist" I couldn't not mention this, it's just too cute how much she needs that physical contact with him at all times 🥰.

Honestly, this whole scene was so uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable enough in the show, but for some reason, even more so in this chapter 😩. The canal trip was definitely a bad idea 😬.

I'll play a little bit of devil's advocate here for Lizzie, and I think that Lucy feels the same with her internal thoughts - Tommy clearly still doesn't understand how scorned a woman can feel. He's been playing with her emotions for too long. And while, she may mean nothing to him, Lizzie has fed off those moments when he's shown her even an ounce of attention or affection. This is what happens when wires get crossed and feelings get hurt 😬. I do feel sorry for Lizzie at times, but I'm mostly pissed at Tommy for leading her on like this.

What I don't like though and something I'll never defend Lizzie over, is how she treated May and Lucy in this scene. She was already crossing the line with the subtle digs at May, but then she had to go and say this...“Fucking slut. Don’t know what he fucking sees in you.” 😤. The only one she should be angry at is Tommy and his carelessness. She knows the nature of Tommy and Lucy relationship and their encounters with other women. May and Lizzie were both willing participants in that, knowing full well that Tommy's heart belongs with Lucy.

I really enjoyed the little moment Lucy had with Aberama and his kind words to her ❤️. She had all these clippings from the papers, about Shelby Company Ltd., pictures of you at various company events. Miri said she would sometimes spend hours just pouring over them.” 🥺 this was such a beautiful insight into Lucy's mother's nature and the pride she had for her daughter that she made something of herself 🥰 .

May shook her head. “That’s such a strange thing to hear, having known him for a few years, now.” arghh, the awkwardness resumes 🙈😂. I was honestly as confused as Lucy in this, with Mays weird comments 😂. I think she was trying to understand why the hell Lucy was still with a man as chaotic and unstable as him 😅. Maybe that intrigue for a bad boy gangster had worn off and she saw seeing the reality of Tommy's life and the complicated web of emotions he has inside, and wanted nothing to do with it 😬. He's a handful!

But what I loved the most about this part, was this line...Lizzie had never learned. Linda had never learned with Arthur. Hell, Lucy had sometimes wondered, at some level, at least, if even Grace had not understood that reality completely. And this is it in a nutshell. They won't change for anyone. This is who they are, who the war and lifes struggles shaped them to be. Lucy gets it, probably the only one that does since she's been through so much trauma. And I agree that, Grace did understand Tommy the most out of his previous lovers and future lovers (apart from Lucy), but she wanted him to change too. And granted, Tommy did for her as well...but was it just because he loved her and wanted to say the things she wanted to hear 😩?? He'll never stop pushing forward, never stop trying to reach the top to distract his inner thoughts and demons, and that's why i love him with Lucy so much. They compliment eachother in that way, and are both equally hell bent on distracting the trauma inside ❤️.

I do feel sorry for Lucy in this scene though. She seems quite taken with May, more so than Tommy 😩.

“I mean it, anytime you need to get away from this one, just come on by.” 😯, maybe this was Mays plan all along! She doesn't want Tommy she wants lovely Lucy 🤣! I love his reaction, I think he got the message 🤭.

Great chapter, hun 😍! We're moments from everything going to shit 😬. I can't watch, but I wana watch, but I don't...arghh 🙈😂!

Part 21: The Shadow of the Abattoir

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: May's visit does not go as anticipated.

Word Count: 6,477

Notes: Warnings for depictions of sexual content and jealousy.

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Chapter 14: The Man Who Doesn't Exist

“Right. Now try this one.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow at him, taking the small shot glass filled with clear, shimmering liquid that he offered her, holding it up to the light, swirling it, and bringing it to her nose.

“You better be careful, or I’ll be drunk before midday,” she commented, taking a sip. Tommy watched her intensely as she swished the helping of freshly made gin in her mouth, testing the taste of it thoroughly before swallowing. “It’s good.”

“You’ve said that about all of them,” he pointed out with fond exasperation. It probably would have done him well to find someone less biased in their opinions about everything he did. But then again, it would probably be equally difficult to find someone not so stone cold terrified of him that they would be willing to be honest in their assessments of the recipe. 

“I don’t know. I’m not much of a gin drinker,” she set down the glass, eyeing the bottles lined up on the table in front of her, each containing a different variation of the recipe he’d been tinkering with.

“Exactly; I want it to appeal to both seasoned and unseasoned gin drinkers. Try ordering them for your favorite to least favorite,” he suggested, nudging one of the bottles her way. She started to pick them up, moving them around the table, sometimes pouring a splash of liquid into a glass to give it another taste before deciding on its ranking. 

“You should have May try some of it while she’s here. I bet she drinks more gin than I do.”

He rested his cheek on his fist as he watched her work. “Yeah. That’s a good idea.” 

The light struck her face at an angle, highlighting the shape of her cheekbones. The freckles that always dotted her skin were a little more pronounced, likely as a result of spending more time outside in the sun since Christmas. Her lips formed an adorable, ever so slightly downturned pout when she concentrated, comparing the gin from two separate bottles before choosing their positions in the ranking.   

She had been sad for a while after Aberama gave her the news about her mother. Understandably so, of course, but it still hurt him to see her so despondent. Like the spark that lived inside of her had dulled, somewhat.

But she was coming back to herself, gradually. A healthy hue of color in her cheeks, the bright warmth in her eyes steadily returning. 

Tommy shifted a little closer to her, swallowing roughly when she pushed a lock of deep red hair back out of her face. He was close enough to smell the distinct scent of her rose perfume, the temptation building within him to pick her up, swipe all the bottles of gin off of the table to crash upon the floor, and make love to her on that table until she screamed his name. 

“Done!” she announced, rousing him from his lascivious daydream. She looked over her shoulder at him, and the spark of conspiratorial cheekiness in her eyes nearly had his self control snapping completely. “Tommy?”

“Mm?”

She looked to be trying very hard to suppress a smile, head jerking towards the bottles. He cleared his throat, rising from his seat and moving to stand behind her, bending down to wrap his arms around her shoulders, hooking his chin over her shoulder. 

“Right; let’s see what we’ve got, eh?” he assessed her decisions carefully. She’d rated the one flavored with cinnamon the highest–predictably so, Lucy did love her cinnamon. “Didn’t like the one with the coriander, eh?” he asked, leaning forward to swipe up the bottle she’s put at the bottom of her ranking. 

“It was more that it’s too weak on the alcohol, rather than the coriander that was the problem,” she tapped the bottle that was second to last. “But this one was too strong. You’ll have people staggering around after one glass if you sell them this stuff.”

He reached into his pocket, fishing out a notebook already half filled with various gin recipes he’d been trying out, jotting down the notes she was giving him. 

“Honestly, on all of them I could use a little more sweetness. I like the cinnamon flavor, but I don’t know how popular that will be with the general public. You’ll have to ask a couple more people,” her head craned around to look at him from over her shoulder. “It’s getting there.”

He smiled shyly. “You think so?”

“Mhm.”

He squeezed his arms around her, leaning in to press a kiss to her lips. She tasted sweetly of gin, a soft, wanting groan leaving his mouth at the first meeting stroke of their tongues. Lucy giggled softly against his mouth, giving him another peck before leaning back, smiling again when he bumped her nose affectionately with his. 

“We better get going if we want to be there when May arrives at the yard.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, but made no movement, instead dropping his head into her neck, mouth trailing kisses up to her jaw. She laughed, a sound more beautiful than a harp or the chirp of birds, squirming halfheartedly in his arms.

“Tommy!”

“Alright, alright,” he huffed in teasing grumpiness, forcing himself to draw away from her. She touched his cheek, her expression one of deep affection.

“There'll be time for more of that later,” she promised, kissing him quickly once more before standing. He reached for her hand eagerly, enveloping her seemingly eternally chilled fingers with his, and let her pull him with a strong tug from the room.  

∗ ∗ ∗ 

May’s perfume smelled sweet, the fur that rested around her collar soft against Lucy’s cheek when she pulled her in for a hug. In the mist whirling around the canals, she had looked nearly ethereal as the boat glided up to the dock. 

“Hi, May. It’s good to see you.”

“Hello, Lucy. You’re looking well.”

She smiled bashfully, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Tommy smiled at her from over May’s head, and began ushering them to the office. They chatted as they walked, inquiring about what May had been up to (not much, outside of her horse training duties) and how things were going with the horse (very well). 

Lucy glanced over her shoulder, brows pinching when they passed by Lizzie’s desk on their way to the doors to Tommy’s office. She could hear her muttering angrily under her breath, shooting glares in their direction, but couldn’t make out entirely what she was saying. 

She frowned, but decided not to say anything on the matter. At least not now.

She hadn’t expected Lizzie’s black mood to last so long. Especially since things had been going so well between them beforehand.  

Shaking her head, she closed the doors behind the three of them, moving to plop down in the chair next to May, taking an offered cigarette from Tommy while he and May talked about the horse. The toe of her shoe bumped against Tommy’s shin, rubbing up and down idly while she rested her head on her fist, looking over at May appreciatively as she set down the horse’s registration papers for Tommy to sign. He fixed her with an intense gaze, and Lucy leaned forward a little in eagerness as he questioned coyly just why on earth May would come all the way here in person for nothing but a signature. 

May’s eyes darted between them, a little color rising in her cheeks. Lucy couldn’t help the cheeky smile she sent her way, shifting in her seat with barely contained excitement. 

Outside of Grace, May had always been her favorite of the girls she and Tommy had included in their trysts in the past, and she had remained a close friend even after they’d broken things off.

May raised her eyes back to Tommy, and there was something in her face and voice that Lucy couldn’t entirely place; something that smothered her excitement a bit.

“Nothing seems to change you,” May said, in reference to both Grace and John’s death. The words alone had Lucy’s brow furrowing, but before she could fully ponder them, the door flung open and Lizzie waltzed in. Tommy started, and Lucy’s head snapped around sharply at the sudden intrusion.  

Fucking hell; had she fallen and hit her head and forgotten how to knock?

Her shock at the intrusion, however, had nothing on her surprise when Lizzie openly sneered at May, tossing the file she was carrying onto Tommy’s desk, then pulled herself up to her full, impressive height, arms leaning against the back of the large chair behind the desk. She ignored Tommy’s attempts to dismiss her, smirking at May smugly.

“But, you know sometimes, he sees something glamorous and expensive, he just can’t resist it,” Lizzie grinned, as if she’d made some big, clever point. “He’s so weak.”

Lucy’s jaw just about hit the floor. She had been on the receiving end of several of Lizzie’s jealousy-induced fits over the years, but this one had to take the fucking cake. May hadn’t even done anything. And in all that time, she didn’t think she’d ever seen Lizzie take such a harsh swipe at Tommy before. Normally it was just Lucy she went after, never him. 

The blatant smugness and disrespect had her so flabbergasted that she couldn’t even speak. 

Tommy seemed equally as stunned, meeting her gaze with widened eyes. She wasn’t entirely sure if the repeating thought of what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck was in her own head, or something that she was picking up through the silent way that they sometimes communicated through glances. 

May responded before either of them could, and in quite graceful fashion too, announcing her desire to make a donation to the charity set up in Grace’s name. Lizzie’s smug smile faded steadily as May filled out the check, and Lucy caught herself feeling a spike of satisfaction at seeing her knocked so cleanly off of the high horse she’d decided to perch herself upon.

She immediately scolded herself internally for the petty feeling.

Lizzie’s jaw was clenching, entire form practically vibrating with rage. For a moment, Lucy thought that she might explode without another glorious display.

“That’ll be all, Lizzie, thank you,” Tommy said firmly, hardly even looking at her. Her jaw twitched once, and then she went stalking from the room, slamming the door behind her.

Lucy stared at the place where Lizzie had been standing, thumb dancing along the length of one of her rings, trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened. 

Lizzie had always been one for more the cold shoulder when she was jealous or upset. Subtle jabs and maybe the occasional snide, hurtful comment. But never anything quite like that.

It was obvious that taking Lizzie to the canal had been a mistake. She’d gotten her hopes up, though Lucy couldn’t entirely understand why. Perhaps if Tommy had taken her there on his own, just the two of them, it would make more sense why the sudden mood change, but Lucy had been there too. It wasn’t like her presence had been even subtle. So why? Why had it clearly affected Lizzie so deeply?

Maybe it had just been a reminder of what Lizzie wanted so badly, but could never have.  

She had always known deep down that Lizzie used their rendezvous to fulfill her own fantasies: ones in which Lucy was positive she did not exist, and it was just Lizzie and Tommy, happy and in love.

All this time, Lizzie’s feelings for Tommy had perhaps not been fading, but simply sleeping. And they’d gone and woken them back up again. 

They could never do something like that with her again, Lucy decided resolutely. It wasn’t fair, and it only brought them trouble. 

“Lucy?”

She roused, realizing that she had just been staring intensely at the wall behind the desk, and looked over to find that Tommy had gone over to the shelf of liquor, his hand resting on the decanter of whiskey.

“Sorry?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Drink?” 

“Yes, please,” she said desperately. He shot her a sympathetic look, pouring a glass and handing it to her before returning to fix another for himself. She took a gulp of the amber liquid gratefully while Tommy hastily corrected course, asking May if she had packed an overnight back, and explaining that the train drivers had called a wildcat strike earlier in the day.

Lucy raised an eyebrow at the lie, but didn’t comment. 

May didn’t seem perturbed, simply asking where she was to stay. Tommy offered that they could meet her at four. 

“Meet and do what?” May asked. Lucy looked up at her through lowered lashes, one corner of her lips pulling upwards.

Surely you must know, my dear.

Tommy was fighting back his own coy smile, but rather than stating the obvious, merely offered for her to try the gin he’d been distilling.

A…not a hobby, precisely, but an activity that he had grown more and more obsessive over recently. Probably just a symptom of him going minorly mad over being cooped up in Small Heath for so long. 

It was honestly kind of cute, how serious he got about the whole thing, tinkering with the recipe that his father had left him and asking her to consume far more amounts of gin than she’d normally prefer–she would always be more of a whiskey girl–to get her opinion. 

Again, there was that moment of trepidation, when May did not immediately seem amiable to the suite at the Midland that Tommy had booked for her–them, technically, if May even wanted them there–but it faded when she agreed to a tasting of the gin. Lucy wetted her lips, cigarette turning over and over in her fingers, trying to puzzle out the mixed signals May was giving out. 

They agreed to meet at four, Tommy pulling on his coat and ducking out the door. Lucy could see his figure through the glass, moving over to Lizzie’s desk, the gestures of his hands making it blatant that he was scolding her.  

“I’m sorry about Lizzie,” she apologized to May, grabbing her coat and beginning to pull it on. 

“Is she often like that?” May asked curiously, rising elegantly from her own seat.

“She’s…” Lucy sighed. “It’s complicated.”

“Isn’t everything, when it comes to Tommy?” 

Lucy finished pulling her coat up over her shoulders, adjusting the collar. “Not always,” she murmured quietly. Her relationship with him had never been all that complicated, after all. They loved each other. They were together. All the rest was just details. “I have to go with him,” she said apologetically. “You’re welcome to stay here in the office, if you’d like. Or I’m sure Charlie and Curly would be happy to host you at the yard.”

“I worry that if I stay here Lizzie might try to maim me.”

Lucy chuckled. “No, that’s more Polly’s thing. Lizzie will just mutter nasty things behind your back when she doesn’t think you’re listening.”

May shook her head, shooting her a funny look. “I don’t know how you put up with it.”

Lucy shrugged. “You and me both. I’ll see you at four?”

“Yes.”

She gave her one last smile. “Alright.”

Tommy was just stepping away from Lizzie’s desk, head turning when he heard the door opening, tensed shoulders relaxing at the sight of her. 

“Ready?”

She shot a curious glance at Lizzie, who was sitting at her desk and visibly sulking, lips pursed. “Yeah.”

He took her hand, and began to pull her to the doors, when she heard, muttered snidely under Lizzie’s breath:

“Fucking slut. Don’t know what he fucking sees in you.”

Tommy’s hand squeezed hard in hers in reaction to the words he had also heard, body half turning, mouth opening to shout at her, but Lucy grasped him tightly, pushing him lightly towards the door.

“Don’t,” she hissed, half begged, under her breath. He was so puzzled at the reaction that she managed to push him out the doors and away from Lizzie, though not before they also heard her bellowing on about May again. She would have stopped to verbally cuff her for that, had she not been confident that May could more than handle herself. At the moment, she needed to get Tommy out of there before an actual fight broke out.

“Let it go,” she told him firmly, half pulling him along to the corner before stopping. Tommy gave her a baffled look. 

“But she–”

“She’s just had her heart broken, Tommy. Give her a break. I’m fine,” not entirely true, the words still stung, no matter how often she had to hear them, but she was a big girl. She could handle a few insults flung her way. Given her role in Lizzie’s anguish, she probably deserved it, on some level.      

His face furrowed with guilt, though a spark of anger still flickered in his eyes. “Upset or not, that’s no reason to speak to you or May the way that she did.”

Lucy made a noise of agreement, gaze darting away, passing over the street without really seeing it, hands twisting and fumbling with each other. 

“Hey,” he touched her chin, raising her gaze back up to his. “Don’t let her get to you.”

“I just thought that we were passed all of this…”

“I know,” his eyes were sad. “I know; me too,” with a sigh, he looked away to the rising smoke of the factories. “Not much we can do about it now, other than distance ourselves until the storm passes.”

“I can never tell if she really means it or not. The things that she says.”

Tommy opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, looking down, hand smoothing along her arm. “I’m sorry.”

She just shrugged. “Not your fault.”

“It kind of is.”

“You don’t control what Lizzie says or does.”

“I could go back in there and yell at her some more if it would make you feel better.” 

She bit back a small, terrible smile at the suggestion. “I appreciate the offer, love, but I’m pretty sure that would only make things worse.”

“I don’t understand her,” he shook his head. “You’re wonderful. All you’ve ever done is try to be nice to her…”

“I stole you from her.”

“What?” he looked entirely taken aback. Lucy shrugged again.

“She was here first, technically. Then I came along and snatched up you and all of your love for myself.”

“That’s not what happened. She and I never even were anything. She was just a whore I saw on a semi-regular basis.”

“Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure that’s how she sees it.”

He touched her face, expression puzzled and concerned. “You’re not stealing her share of love from me.”

She leaned her face a little into the soothing warmth of his strong palm, closing her eyes. “I know,” she mumbled softly, though she was not entirely sure that she really did. Because the guilt still gnawed at her; the wondering that, maybe, if it weren’t for her, Tommy and Lizzie might have actually had a chance.  

When she opened her eyes again, he was looking at her with an appraising, narrowed expression.

“You’re really sure you don’t want me to go scold her some more?”

A small, sharp exhale of air that might’ve been the beginning of a laugh passed through her nose. “I’m sure, love,” she turned her head, kissing his palm and taking it in hers, stretching up onto her toes to peck his cheek. “But I appreciate the protectiveness.”

He gave her a gentle, adoring look, lips brushing the crown of her head. 

“We should get going, or we’ll be late to the boxing ring.”

“Mm. Yeah,” he squeezed her hand still holding onto her firmly, their shoes clicking in tandem together against the cobblestones as they started to walk. 

∗ ∗ ∗ 

The boxing ring smelled of sweat and rubber. The slap of boxing gloves hitting both flesh and the punching bags filled the room, as did the grunts of exertion and concentration of the men practicing. Bonnie Gold already had his gloves on and was in the ring, practically bouncing on his toe while he waited for his first opponent. Aberama was standing on the sidelines, hat cocked on his head, watching his son. He gave Tommy and Lucy a respectful nod of greeting when they approached, and while Tommy went to speak with King Maine, the boxing trainer, she moved to stand beside Aberama, arms crossed over her chest.

“Good afternoon,” he said, after a moment, eye remaining fixed on Bonnie with Maine directed another boy to get into the ring with him.

“Afternoon,” Lucy said back, shifting from foot to foot.

“You look to be doing well,” he finally turned his gaze onto her. Lucy rolled her head to a noncommittal angle, shrugging.

“Not much use that can be done just sitting around and crying,” she looked back at Tommy still talking with Maine. “It’s better that I keep busy.”

“I can understand that.”

“Thank you again for telling me. Mum and I…we fell out of contact around 1920 when she went back to the caravans.” She was grateful that he did not ask her why.

“She was very proud of you, you know.”

Brows furrowing, she looked at him sharply, searching for any trace of a lie in his face and finding none. 

“I spoke to her, once or twice when we would run into her and Miri at the fairs. She always had such a glow about her, when she told us how she had a daughter in the city, in a high position in a company there.”

Lucy looked down and away quickly, hoping that he wouldn’t notice the sudden glassiness in her eyes.

“She had all these clippings from the papers, about Shelby Company Ltd., pictures of you at various company events. Miri said she would sometimes spend hours just pouring over them.”

Lucy swallowed hard, clearing her throat roughly. “I wish that she had stayed here. I wish that I could have looked after her. Maybe then…”

Aberama suddenly touched her shoulder. “There’s no point spending valuable time and energy mulling over the things we could have or should have done. It brings nothing but pain. Your mother loved you. Focus on remembering that.” He gave her a stern, yet paternal look, waiting until she nodded before lowering his hand from where he’d rested it lightly on her shoulder. Lucy looked at him for a long moment. 

“You’re not entirely what I expected,” she admitted. Aberama chuckled.

“And what were you expecting?”

She shrugged. “After everything Johnny Dogs told us? Someone more…”

“Savage?”

“I was going to say feral.”

He cracked a sly smile. “I’ve found that playing up the reputation at times can be…beneficial,” those clever, fox-like eyes darted back to hers. “Something tells me that you’ve discovered the same.”

Lucy bit back a smirk. “Yes, something like that.”

“What you did with Changretta’s cousin was impressive.”

“Thank you. I’d prefer to avoid advertising it around for just a little while yet, though.”

“Why?”

She smiled sweetly. “I want to see the look on Luca Changretta’s face when he realized that I’m not just a tiny little woman who only got where she is by fucking the boss.” 

Aberama’s lips quirked in quiet approval, expression growing serious when Tommy and Maine approached them to watch Bonnie fight.

After it was over, she followed Tommy out of the gym, his hand dipping into his pocket to procure his watch, glancing at the face before tucking it away again. 

“I need to go by the factory and speak with Devlin. But you can head back to the yard and spend some more time with May, if you’d like.” 

“You’re sure?” She tried not to show just how excited the idea made her. Tommy nodded. 

“I can deal with Devlin. You go on. You can show her the gin distillery, if you’d like. I’ll meet you at four.”

With a grin, she stretched up onto her toes to peck his cheek. “Thank you.”

He gave her a small smile. “Try not to have too much fun without me.”

“No promises, Shelby.”

The skin around his eyes crinkled, even as he attempted to suppress the fond smile pulling at his lips. His hand curled around her hip, pulling her just a little more closer so as to press a quick kiss to her lips. 

“See you soon,” he promised.

She gave him a small smile, walked a few paces backward before turning around and heading in the direction of the yard. She could feel the protective presence of his gaze on her until she went around a corner and out of his line of sight. 

The walk to the yard was quiet and peaceful. While the smog and smoke still lingered in the air, the sun was actually out for once, and she enjoyed the gentle warmth that the beams languished upon her.

“Charlie,” she greeted him where he was working by the entrance when she came in. “Where’s May?”

��The stables.”

“Right. Thanks.” She weaved her way towards the aforementioned building, stepping through the open barn doors, smiling to herself at the sound of May’s posh accent speaking lowly while she stroked careful fingers through Sin’s reddish mane. She started at the crunch of hay under Lucy’s boots, head turning in her direction. 

“I thought I wouldn’t be seeing you until four.”

“First meeting wrapped up quick. Tommy’s got another one he needs to go to, but he doesn’t need me for it.” Coming up beside May, she gave Sin a little pat to her flank. “Charlie and Curly been treating you alright?”

“Yes,” but there was a small hesitation before she spoke, and Lucy shot a curious look her way, again feeling that prickle in the back of her mind that something was not entirely right. “I was going to take a walk by the canal, but then Charlie told me I’d need to take a revolver with me, so I figured perhaps it would be best to just stay here.”

“I can take you, if you’d like.”

Again, May hesitated, doe-brown eyes looking Lucy over as if she were assessing her. “That’s alright. I’d rather try Tommy’s gin, I think.”

“Okay.”

She led the way through the yard, into another set of stables where Curly was busy at work. 

“Curly, dear, could you get us a bottle of Tommy’s gin?” Lucy asked. He nodded, bustling away hastily. While they waited, Lucy grabbed a blanket to spread out over a haystack for May to sit.   

“Is everything alright?” Lucy asked after a few moments, the silence feeling long and all encompassing. 

“Yes, of course.”

“You’re sure? Charlie and Curly didn’t say anything, did they?”

“They said several things. But it’s alright. Really,” she turned her face away from Lucy to look at the entrance to the bar expectantly. “How are things going with the Italians? Honestly, I mean.”

With a sigh, she shrugged, and it was her turn to avert her gaze down to her shoes. “Could be worse. But could be a lot damn better, too.” Looking up, she met May’s worried eyes, her brow furrowed in a way that only served to accentuate the unique shape of her face. “We’ll be fine.”  

But the frown did not leave May’s features. “What about you? Are you doing alright?”

Lucy shrugged. “It took a little adjusting at first with everyone being scattered and then coming back together after so long, but I’ve managed.”

“Polly hasn’t been causing you any trouble?”

“Actually, no. Not really. She’s been…nicer maybe isn’t exactly the word, but it’s been easier to be around her.” She gave May a small, humorless smile. “I doubt that it’ll last, but I’m going to enjoy it while I can.”

“And what about you and Tommy?”

Lucy cocked her head, not understanding. “What about us?”

“Is everything alright between you two?”

Now she was truly puzzled. “Yes, of course. Why?”

“So much tragedy, and in such a short span of time…I’ve seen it have nasty effects on couples before.”

“Most everything else has been hard, at one point or the other, but not us,” she again shot May a curious look. “We help each other, we…it’s always been easy. Being with him.”

May shook her head. “That’s such a strange thing to hear, having known him for a few years, now.”

Lucy didn’t entirely know what to say to that. She was aware that the way that Tommy treated her was different from how he was with almost everyone else. It was not something she could entirely explain. Hell, she doubted that even Tommy would struggle to entirely articulate why that was. It probably had at least something to do with all of the trauma that they shared. But it wasn’t just that.  

“You’ve really never wanted him to change?” May asked, the question completely catching Lucy off guard. “Not even a little?”

For a moment she could only stare at May in bafflement. She felt like she was teetering on the edge of understanding something, but what that was, she couldn’t entirely say. May met her gaze with those wide, dark eyes, waiting patiently for her answer.  

“No,” she said softly, truthfully. “Not ever. I like him just the way he is.” 

  A flicker of disappointment, quick as a sudden, sharp spark, ignited in May’s eyes. It was gone just as quickly, only appearing for such a brief moment that Lucy was left half wondering if it had actually been there at all. May smiled at her, sadness entangled with the expression.

“I suppose that shouldn’t surprise me.”

Lucy nodded, still confused, still trying to grasp onto what it was that was causing May to behave so strangely. But before she could get a good grip on it, Curly came back in with a bottle and two glasses clutched in his hands. 

“Thank you, Curly,” Lucy took them from him and shooed him away, pouring a glass first for May and then for herself. 

As they drank, they talked about lighter things: May’s horses. The particularly talented gardener she had just recently employed at the house. The beautiful tea set Lucy had found during her and Tommy’s most recent trip into London. 

But all the while, even as they laughed together in the stables, sitting nearly shoulder to shoulder, Lucy could not shake the feeling that May was steadily drifting farther and farther away. 

Fumbling with her pocket watch, she checked the time, finishing off her glass and setting it aside. 

“He won’t be long. What do you think?”

“It’s alright. A little too sweet for my taste, I’d say.”

Lucy nodded. “He’s hoping that it’ll be big in America, so he’s been trying to tailor it more to their tastes.”

“Has he been working on this long?”

“Not as long as you’d think. I’ve probably taste-tested at least a bucket’s worth of it, now.”

May let out a quiet chuckle, taking another sip from her glass. They continued to chat while they waited for Tommy, ultimately winding up laying side by side on the hay, May’s voice a soft, low hum as she started to sing. Lucy stared up at the ceiling, her empty glass seated beside her, throat constricting with memories of lingering near the doors of the Garrison, watching Grace stand up on a chair in the back, her rich voice echoing throughout the pub as she sang song after song, some her own choosing, others requests from the crowd. 

Her eyes darted to the dark corners of the stables, searching with hope for the golden-haired ghost, but finding nothing but black shadows. 

May’s singing cut off abruptly at the sound of Tommy’s voice announcing his presence, both of them sitting up to see him approaching them with quick steps from the door. Lucy hopped down from the hay while May offered her opinion to him on the gin, Tommy dipping his head to give Lucy a quick kiss to say hello, big hand taking hold of hers, beginning to lead the way towards the stairs that led down to the distillery.

It was cool down the stairs. Lucy jumped up to sit on the table where Tommy deposited a crate of bottles, legs swinging in the air. He rifled through the bottles, selecting one and uncorking it to pour another glass for May to try. 

Lucy’s legs unconsciously stopped swinging as she watched him begin to lay on his famous charm, standing close to May, glass filled with clear liquid offered to her, voice lowered, eyes looking steadily into hers. May continued to keep her eyes on him, even as she lifted the glass from his fingers and took a sip.

“You’re unlike any man I’ve ever met,” she told him, and Lucy felt the beginning pulsings of want stirring within her, leaning forward where she was seated on the table.   

At May’s determination that the gin was still too sweet, Tommy leaned in, and kissed her.

It was a soft, sensual kiss. The kind that Lucy was intimately familiar with receiving from him. Lips moving slowly against each other, his touch gentle but firm. 

May responded with a hand on his chest, leaning into his body. Quiet and graceful as a cat, Lucy slid from her spot on the table, padding over to them and pressing her front to May’s back, running her nose through her soft, sweet-smelling hair to get at the nape of her neck, ghosting a kiss across it while her hands landed gingerly on her shoulders. She could feel Tommy shifting the positioning of his arms, so that he was more thoroughly embracing her. 

And then she felt May go abruptly stiff and freeze. Tommy felt it too, pulling back a fraction to look at her. 

“You said you booked a room?” she asked softly, after a moment. Tommy’s lips quirked up a fraction. 

“No, I booked a suite.”

“Thank you,” there was something dull in May’s voice that had Lucy pulling slightly away from her, head angling to try to get a look at her face. May drew in a deep breath. “If you book a taxi, I’ll go.”

Lucy started, brow creasing and eyes shifting from May, to Tommy, then back again. Tommy’s face drew away from her, expression suddenly hardening, going cold. The warmth and tenderness he’d been exuding a moment ago almost entirely shut off in the face of the abrupt rejection. As May continued to speak, Lucy drew her hands from her, taking a step back. 

“If only you could…”

“If only I could what?” Tommy asked, with a voice like sharp razors, eyes searching May’s before he took a large step back, away from her. “‘If only you could change.’ Go on, say it. If only you could change the bad.” 

Suddenly, all of May’s strange behavior over the day started to make sense. Particularly that curious question she had broached about whether or not Lucy ever wished Tommy could change.

He continued to verbally snarl for a moment, a wounded animal, hurt and angry and lashing out at the person who’d stung it. Because Lucy knew that it kept him awake at night, how badly he wanted to be better.

“You all deserve better than me,” he sometimes whispered, head resting on her chest, against her breasts on the particularly bad nights when she held him and stroked his hair. She always shook her head, kissing him between the brows, reminding him as best she knew how that she loved him exactly as he was.

May had struck a raw nerve she was not even aware of.

“You fucking people,” he fumed, storming away, back to them. Lucy watched him mournfully. She did not think that May intended to hurt either of them. But still, it ached. 

At least she could recognize that perhaps they could not offer what she truly wanted. At least she had the sense to understand that and step away.

If only more women were like her: with that sense and acknowledgement that she could not change nor heal a man through the power of love alone. 

Lizzie had never learned. Linda had never learned with Arthur. Hell, Lucy had sometimes wondered, at some level, at least, if even Grace had not understood that reality completely. 

“You bite like your horse,” May said after a long moment of silence, and there was both regret and apology in her voice, but not for how she felt. No, the apology was for the unintentional sting that her rejection had inflicted. Tommy’s eyes moved from hers to Lucy’s.

Fuck. 

Yes, she agreed silently, sadly. Now over his little outburst, Tommy beckoned May to follow, reaching for Lucy’s hand before beginning to move. She squeezed his fingers, his grip tightening enough that her rings bit into her flesh a little. 

None of them said much of anything at all on the walk through the canals, to a boat that could take May to the train station. It was a long enough of a walk for the disappointment to really settle in Lucy’s stomach, leaving her feeling gloomy. 

“Here’s your carriage,” Tommy said, gesturing to the boat, informing May of the train that she could catch. She gave him a look of exasperated fondness when he admitted to lying about the strikes. Lucy couldn’t help but smile a little herself at her gangster’s devilish antics.

May touched his cheek gently for a moment, looking between them, suddenly earnest.

“We’ll keep in touch?”

They both nodded, and that seemed to relax her a little. Lucy felt a wave of relief wash over her. At least May did not want them entirely ejected from her life. 

“I’ll call with updates about the horse. And please, feel welcome to stop by the house or the stables anytime you’d like.” 

At their agreement, she moved away, but not before giving Lucy a firm hug in farewell.

“I mean it, anytime you need to get away from this one, just come on by.”

“Oi!” Tommy sputtered in indignation, and they both giggled while he rolled his eyes, looking to the sky as if asking what he’d done to deserve such teasing. He helped May up and into the boat, and Lucy watched with a steady ache in her chest as she disappeared below deck, Curly climbing aboard after her. 

Tommy settled a hand on her shoulder, and very gently, began to guide her from the canal. As they walked, he wrapped an arm around her, and pulled her tightly into his side. 

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!

[jaennwrites]

Stain Them. I Don't Care.

Hi guys it been a long time and although this isn't my comeback I just felt in the writing spirit. I will try my best to write stuff but the truth is y'all my attention span has been gone since TLOU (HBO) ended. However, I'm trading in fortnite videos (jonesyXreader coming soon ofc) for Peaky Blinders. I'm on S2 E2 so this little blurb doesn't have much show lore but I love Tommy, I'm a Cillian Murphy fangirl and I love a good dangerous man who gets soft and obsessed for their women. Anyways let me actually shut up.

Word Count: 1,410 Pairings: Tommy Shelby x Fem Reader (fairly gender neutral but reader is referred to as a wife), Established Relationship (married :3). Warnings: Blood, Mentions of Gun and shooting, Character (you) death. Completely SFW.

All interactions greatly appreciated, hope I can find the motivation to write more, thx guyzers <3

Tommy Shelby was an interesting man, it was even more interesting that he devoted himself to someone like you. It wasn’t an insulting thing, it’s just that many people didn’t understand Tommy’s obsession with this ordinary woman. The circumstances of your meeting was a kept secret of course but as everyone knew, you weren’t a whore, or spy, or other gang’s  daughter or wife, you were just you.

So when Tommy got off of his stressful often bloody days just to see you either sitting peacefully or cooking something, it made him happy. When people had the stupidity to question why Tommy was with you, he’d simply respond with his usual menacing stare. Sure, he didn’t run around town boasting about his wife but you knew he felt prideful when he was with you. Especially when he could bring you around people he considered enemies, you were his walking proof that he could attain and be acquainted with good people. 

The true ‘fuck you’ to those who didn’t know peace for Tommy Shelby had the embodiment of it right by his side always. 

Your head perked up at the sound of the front door smiling as you saw Tommy tiredly walk through the door. You often spent chunks of time waiting for him, more recently than ever before. Thomas Shelby by no means was an open man, but he always allowed himself to be vulnerable with you, he could never not when it came to you. 

Being around you felt like an adrenaline rush that never ended; from the day he first saw you to the day he asked you to marry him. Everything about you made him nervous and scared; he somehow couldn’t rest peacefully with you in his life yet his time with you was more peaceful than he had ever known. 

“You look wide awake” You joked resting your head on the back of the couch.

“Funny” He smiled, a smile that couldn’t fade as long as you were there smiling back at him. 

You rested your head on his shoulder and looked at his bruised hands before squeezing them tightly with a smile. Tommy no doubt carried a lot of baggage into the relationship. On an almost agonizing constant loop you could still vividly picture the first death at the hands of Tommy that you had witnessed. Although he’d never tell you, he remembered it too, the guilt ate him alive everyday. The way you looked at him that day made him physically sick. When you agreed to see him again after that, the look was gone but he’d never forget it. 

“How has everything been?” “Business wise” You asked. 

“It’s getting better” He reassured.

“So can I come with you tomorrow? To the Garrison”

“Would you not prefer to sit here? Safely” Tommy teased.

You rolled your eyes unseriously knowing that simple gesture alone would be enough to convince him. Tommy often had a problem saying no to you, it was chronic at this point. There were times he was a little more resistant but eventually he’d break, just for you. Partly because he trusted your judgment, and you never asked for anything insane. You two were in many ways polar opposites but the borderline paranoid danger/bullshit meter you shared were identical, he trusted you.

“Fine” “Didn’t know you loved my boring meetings” He joked

Your nights consisted of you two sitting sometimes doing some light drinking but for the most part you just enjoyed each other’s company. No matter what Tommy went through during his day, to be able to come home to you or come home with you was his cure all. It scared him to death how much he loved you, some nights it was all he could think of, the fear and happiness you produced. 

Then the morning would come and that feeling would be a distant memory because you’d still always be there. This morning was no different, he woke up right next to you, your sleeping face somehow even more beautiful than when you both fell asleep. Tommy was not a man who was very vocal about his affections but his eyes never lied. You could melt into a puddle whenever he looked at you, when he looked at you it was as if someone had captured love, melted it and injected it into your veins. 

That morning Tommy fulfilled his promise and you happily came along with him to his meeting, you didn’t want to admit that it was indeed boring but god you were bored. These weren’t his sly threat here, sly threat there meetings, just simple boring money managing. 

“This is boring” You whispered, eliciting a smile from your husband before excusing yourself into the main portion of the bar.

However the bar also bore you, a bunch of men drinking all of them too afraid to even glance in your direction. Tommy had planned to be done with this meeting by now but unfortunately it seemed to be taking longer and longer. He sat letting his mind wander a little as the time felt slower and slower while your eyes searched for something to keep you busy. 

Tommy had a big dislike for you walking alone and you understood dislike, however simply standing outside of the bar surely was a loophole. The smell of alcohol was weirdly insufferable today so without a second thought you headed for the front door, opening the one and then the second. 

You hadn’t noticed for the first few seconds, but the wet feeling rapidly spreading from your chest pulled you into the dark reality. You looked up at the gunman to see a face full of regret, from that look alone clearly you weren’t the target

Your husband was. 

The gunman had been young, clearly trigger happy but nevertheless a wonderful shot because by the time your body fell back you were gone. Tommy practically had leaped over the table at the sound. As he opened the door to his private room his eyes scanned the bar full of equally worried faces but had yet to see yours. 

The commotion coming from the front door prompted him to quickly check and confirm the nightmare he had been dreading since the day he first met you. The guttural shout he let out quieted the entire street, anyone moving stopped, anyone working stopped, the entire world seemed to stop. 

Tommy couldn’t remember the last time his hands shook at the sight of a dead body. His shaky hand intertwined with your lifeless one and his arm wrapped securely around your neck. He pulled your body close to his chest, the still fresh blood now soaking into his suit. Nobody around dared to move, hell not even breathe for it would only be a reminder that you couldn’t.

Thomas Shelby sat in that doorway for hours, whispering various pleas and prayers to Gods he didn’t even believe in. Soon enough his family convinced him to allow your body to be taken and for everything to be cleaned up. 

The wedding ring that was removed from your finger felt like it weighed pounds as it moved in his pocket. All that movement just to bring him to an even harsher reality as he stood in front of your shared home. He sat on the front steps for a while, it rained, drunk men passed, various things passed and he sat not daring to move a muscle. 

When Tommy finally made it into the house his heart felt as if it was attempting to break out of his chest. His eyes watered as he slowly shuffled over to your side of the bed falling to his knees beside it. Slowly his head descended before resting into blankets that filled his senses of nothing but you. The sheets smelled of you, the feeling of the blankets brought back every lovely memory of you. 

Thomas Shelby couldn’t remember the last time he cried, like really truly cried. Quite frankly he couldn’t remember anything in this state. A place that once was home to your laughter and voice was now full of the muffled sobs of your husband. 

Tommy’s hands held his blood soaked chest wishing that he had covered himself in your blood. He prayed it would stain every item of clothing he owned, stain his hands, his face so that he could never be without you. 

"I fear to stain your clothes with blood" "Stain them, I don't care"

[okmcintyre]

send me a character and I'll list:

favourite thing about them: Clarke's tenacity! Her first scene? She fights off two armed guards and LOCKS THEM IN HER CELL BEHIND HER. Then how she handles herself at the dropship ("You think we care who's in charge!?"). Her commitment to getting her people out of MW (despite every other leader before her failing to do so). Praimfaya. AFTER Praimfaya... When Clarke sets her mind on something, she's a force! 💥

least favourite thing about them: I hated seeing how much crap she put up with in S6 (and even some of the earlier seasons!) I wish she'd value herself enough to apply that tenacity to her own well-being 😅

favourite line: my answer always changes, but today it's this one from 512. It was refreshing to see Clarke own that 'Wanheda' part of herself after so many years. Loved that energy for her ⤵️

"What if I never see you again? No, not possible. How can you be sure? It's simple. You may be the Commander, but I'm the Commander of Death..."

brOTP: MURPHY! Their dynamic is sm fun!!

OTP: Bellarke. For sure 100% I'm always rooting for those two wonderful fools.

nOTP: I still think the Clarke x Gaia vibes felt really... off? I wasn't a fan. And Cillian definitely wasn't my fave either, but I guess he's actually not meant to be 😅

random headcanon: Eventually, earthkru has settled peacefully and trained a team of medics: so Clarke decides, after some convincing, to take up life as an artist.

(Though sometimes, when she can't sleep, Bellamy and Madi still find her helping patients in the med tent...)

unpopular opinion: she wasn't completely wrong with all her S5 decisions. Some of them, like shock-collaring her daughter? YES! But feeling obligated to get a 12 year old girl tf away from Wonkru and Blodrenia? Maybe not a bad call 🤷‍♀️ Her method was lousy, but her intentions not completely un-understandable.

...and her red hair was COOL! 🤣

song i associate with them: I'm gonna be predictable again bc ofc it's this one!

favourite picture of them: so many to choose from, but here's an adorable gif! ✨

[justrainandcoffee]

Being their first Valentine's day together, Cillian wanted to do something special for her.

From the moment she saw her on the bus, Cillian felt something special for her.

Since he couldn't take her back to Mexico to enjoy this special there, he prepared something in an Irish beach. Cold, yes, but together it was everything more tolerable. Her hair similar to the flames of the bonfire danced with the wind as well.

Marianne smiled at him, before kissing him. Something simple like a sunset on a beach, would be an unforgettable memory.

For @look-at-the-soul || Cillian x Marianne || Masterlist

[mundivagantsoul]

reminded me of this tweet

had to recreate it

I would love your thoughts too but "Which Moon Boy texts you most often, like the most texts?" I feel has to be Steven. He is a chain texter and needs emojis to convey tone. If you don't respond with an emoji at all he thinks you're mad at him no matter what you say.

100% accepted headcanon, Nonnie! Sweet Steven needs reassurance and we are happy to throw in some Boomer/Gen X emojis if needed lol

Love it!

My first answer to the texting ask

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Moon Knight Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Askbox

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

In This Heart: Prologue (Tommy Shelby)

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OFC!Estella Holland

Warning: Nothing

Summary: Two souls, forever bound in the multiverse. 

Info: I know a new story? Well, I've been gone for almost 2 years, and my taste has changed. I've matured like fine wine. Please let me have this. Dividers made by @firefly-graphics as always.

I long ago knew my heart belonged to someone, as the old gypsy queen from the north swore to me as she read my palm and cards in exchange for a lock of long hair. I watched in fascination as she babbled on in tongues I could not understand, as my Uncle dragged me from her vardo by my upper arm, screaming at her. But, I would learn it was a spell she had put upon me and my soulmate. My poor soulmate, the lives we would lead, the horrors he would see, the loved ones we would lose, the number of times he would lose me, to not know we would see each other again. I, Estella Holland, am Thomas Michael Shelby's soulmate, and I am forever intertwined with him; I shall never know another soul nor love another, and I wish never to love another.

Estella Holland 

June 1896

“The only thing I know for sure is my heart beats for him.”

Thomas “Tommy” Shelby 

1890

“Bui, I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t know for sure.”

Bostán Holland 

January 19, 1903

“I can drop out, get a job, so you don’t have to work so much, so you don’t have to worry.”

Fleur Holland

February 11, 1905

“It not my fault John Shelby taught me to throw a good punch.”

Bohemia “Uncle Bui” Gray

1880

“Your mum would kill me if she saw the likes where we were all at now.”

Keavy O’Holland-Shelby

April 20, 1896

“Tommy, all I’m sayin’ is the man is takin’ over half her wages. She’s got more mouths to feed than we do. It’s not fair; before you say it, I know life's not fair.”

Josh Franceschi 

August 1896

“Listen here, mate, you mess with the ladies again, you’re messing with the Peaky Fookin’ Blinders, and as the saying goes, you don’t mess with the Peaky Fookin’ Blinders! Fook off!” 

Jane “Janey” Doyle

May 13, 1897

“I don’t suppose you ever thought that I’m just fine? Just me and the flowers, that’s all that I need.”

Private Detective Henry Daniels 

May 5, 1890

“Not as beautiful as you, but it tries.”

[call-sign-shark]

Fallen for a guy, fell down from the sky Halo round his head Feathers in a bed In our bed, in our bed And I plead and I pray It's sacrilege, sacrilege, sacrilege, you say

Heaven Shelby, Arthur's Angel

But for the rest of us, she's the White Devil.

[prettygirls-grave]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ welcome ࿐ྂ

this is my blog! i'm not an experienced tumblr user, so trust the processes. i think will use this blog for just a creative outlet for things like my opinions, experiences, tips, guides, (more for myself but if you like them, enjoy!) photos, and whatever else.

basically a digital diary.

my interests are really vast, and i just need somewhere to dump everything. this might turn into my masterlist once i develop my account, but below will just be my interests and links to my accounts.

enjoy as much as you can <3

https://www.pinterest.com/prettygirlsgrave2/

https://open.spotify.com/user/dbfjxqhl2t787xbauj3pk6glq?si=441106e6592c4485

here's just a list of everything i like that i can think of right now, which will be in the tags.

music- the smiths, lana del rey, the cure, sisters of mercy, joy division, morrissey, pixies, lou reed, billy idol, tv girl, new order, jeff buckley, siouxie and the banshees, radiohead, slowdive, the sundays, crystal castles, mazzy star, and cocteau twins.

i listen to many more artists ofc, and if u check my spotify you'll see! these are my favorite artists, and i listen to a lot of others more casually. i loooooove music and i really want to expand my taste and knowledge of it. some genres i like are post punk, new wave, alternative, rock, synthwave/darkwave, glam rock, french music, goth, indie pop, dream pop, brit pop, (the brits have the best music istg) and permanent wave.

film/shows: watching the detectives, marie antoinette, girl interrupted, sunburn (1999), closer, dead poets society, black swan, the x files, gilmore girls, freaks & geeks, roswell (1999?), little women, and probably more.

i have SOOO many movies on my watchlist, and i'll make seperate post eventually. i love sofia coppola!! my favorite actors are natalie portman, christian bale, cillian murphy, matt dillon, kirsten dunst, chloe sevigny, and ana karina.

random- i'm really interested in literature, (reading everything, history, basically anything involved) history, (i don't like wars tho) art, fashion, music, and writing. i'm so passionate about all of these but i've never really put much effort into pursuing my interests. my favorite book is the secret history, i can talk about it for houuurrrrsss. i love love love writing, and i'd like to have a career involving these things. i'm very passionate about being an individual and self expression. i have a lot of niche little aesthetic and interests that will probably been revealed as this blog evolves.

i'm also interested in self improvement, manifesting, and actually getting myself to do things lol.

idk if this will reach many people, but if we seem similar, dm and follow me <3 i'm really looking for likeminded people. sorry this was long but there's a lotttttt

∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗

[hello-there]

Communities are a new way to connect with the people on Tumblr who care about the things you care about! Browse Communities to find the perfect one for your interests or create a new one and invite your friends and mutuals!

[memphisnovels]

A night without stars Chapter 2.

A Jonathan Crane x ofc fic

Warnings: sexual content

more crane in this fic and a touch of Bruce <3

I stood from the swivel chair at my uncle’s desk within the bullpen at the GCPD as I spotted him walking down the corridor. He offered me a warm smile and a quick embrace as he arrived at his desk. “What brings you down here?”

“Though you’d probably be needing lunch soon and I figured some food with nutritional value would do you some good.” I spoke, nodding toward the containers of food I’d brought.  

He chuckled, taking a seat at the table and opening one of the containers. “You made this?”

“Well, if by made you mean chose from a menu and ordered, I sure did!”

With a shake of his head, he sniffed the food. “So, it is edible then.” He teased.

I feigned offence. “You are the one who taught me to cook so my lack of skill in that department is completely your fault.” We laughed with each other as we began lunch. “So, I spoke to Barbara.” He sighed deeply as I shot him a sidelong glance. “She told me she can barely remember the last time the two of you ate dinner together.”

“Eve.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Jim. What? You can’t take a night off to spend with your family?”

“This is Gotham we’re talking about, there was no down time before now we’re contending with a masked vigilante and the run of the mill criminals who we already had.” He took his glasses off, rubbing at his eyes. “I can’t just take the night off with everything that’s going on.” Shaking my head with a sigh, I opened my mouth to respond but he cut me off. “When was the last time you took a night off?”

He watched me intently as I searched for the words, opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water. He chuckled. “I don’t have kids and a wife, Uncle Jim.” He pursed his lips at my statement.

“I heard Bruce Wayne’s back in town.”

I laughed at his words. “Nice subject change. He is.”

“You’ve seen him?”

Shaking my head in response. “I bumped into him, the other night. Not so much otherwise.” I added, pushing the salad around my container.

“Did the two of you speak?”

“Sure, he apologized, though he wasn’t very clear about what he was sorry for. To be honest there wasn’t a whole lot to be said, I haven’t heard from him since he was back last, and he didn’t even tell me he was coming back this time. I think that’s a pretty clear indication of how little he cares for our friendship.”

He offered me a sympathetic look before responding. “I have a feeling Bruce may care more than you give him credit for.”

“Whose side are you on?” I asked teasingly. Uncle Jim laughed in response. We finished our food, and I gave him a quick peck on the cheek before collecting my coat and offering him a goodbye. “Call your wife, Jim!” I added before exiting the building.

The cab ride back to my apartment was silent, save for the quiet hum of the radio and external traffic sounds. I couldn’t help but think of that man I’d met at the courthouse, Jonathan. He hadn’t told me his last name I realized. Rachel’s words echoed through my mind once more. She’d said that I tend to invite people into my life who needed to be fixed, people who were… For lack of a better word, unstable. When I went through the checklist in my head, I found him almost infallible. Intelligent, handsome, well-spoken, stable job, and in the medical profession, bonus points. He seemed almost too good to be true, which made me incredibly nervous, there must be something askew, no guys I’m interested in are ever that perfect. Though perhaps I’d met the one exception and I’d never see him again. I continued to ponder this as I walked down the hall of my apartment building. The moment I swung the door open I dropped my keys to the ground in utter shock. My little apartment was filled to the brim with bunches and bunches of fragrant, peach colored carnations, not a single crevice had been missed. I stepped within the apartment on shaky legs. My jaw went slack as I surveyed the abundance of beautiful flowers; my favorite, everything about them, down to the colour. I’d been so in awe of the florals that I barely even noticed the man who popped up behind me.

“Are you starting a floristry business?” I turned my wide eyes on him.

I could barely find the words as he leaned against my door frame smiling charmingly at me. “Did you do this?”

He shrugged lightly, glancing into the room. “I’m pretty sure I ordered more than that.” He wandered into the apartment plucking a single carnation and turning back toward me. “Well, I suppose you’ll just have to make do with this many, sorry, Evie.” He extended the flower in my direction.

I shook my head at him. “How did you know…” I studied the flowers once more, a million questions on my mind.

“You told me.” He responded before I’d even finished my question.

“You remembered?”

He nodded, smiling sheepishly at me. “I should have called.” He added.

“Called and asked me if it was okay for you to fill my apartment with flowers?”

Bruce chuckled, rolling his eyes playfully at me. “No smartass, I should have called while I was away.”

“Any kind of sign of life would have been nice.”

He ran a hand through his dark locks. “I know, I’m sorry for being a shitty friend, you didn’t deserve that.”

I bit back a smile, attempting to hold onto the anger that had simmered within me for months. It became increasingly hard as he watched me with his melted chocolate eyes. I shook my head at him. “Just for the record you cannot buy my forgiveness, Wayne, that is not what this is.” I gestured between my now beaming expression and the carnations lining my apartment floor.

He grinned at me. “I’d argue I can, but whatever helps you sleep at night.” He teased.

I offered him a fake glare. “You’re an ass.”

To my surprise, he stayed that afternoon, helping me collect the comical amount of flowers strewn across my apartment. We sat on the floor, backs leaning against the couch and talked for hours; well, I talked, he responded, occasionally offering an array of sentences together which was certainly thrilling. I couldn’t help but wonder where the boy I’d known had gone. It seemed far more than mere age that had made him distant and reserved with me. Eventually, we began rifling through tattered take-out pamphlets to find something to order for dinner. “Anywhere but that Italian place downtown.”

“Adami Pizzeria?!” I questioned, feigning offence. “I love Mr Adami.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “What, so you’re just forgetting that you got food poisoning from there like three times.”

“Well, you know what they say, bad things happen in threes, maybe the bad luck is over, Mr Adami is always so nice to me.”

“I think I’d rather take my chances with your cooking that eat at Adami Pizzeria.”

I gasped at his words throwing a pillow at him just before he excused himself to take a call. I’d finally settled on Chinese food from my favorite little store when Bruce finally re-entered my apartment. “I’m thinking Golden Dragon, the dumplings are life changing, and we get free fortune cookies with every purchase, sounds like an unbeatable offer to me.” I spoke, reading over the menu.

“Sorry, Eve, I’m going to have to take a raincheck on dinner, something’s come up.” At his words I immediately glanced up, seeing all hints of amusement long gone from his features.

I dropped the Golden Dragon menu atop the pile of others, standing up quickly. “Is everything alright?”

He nodded. “Of course, I just need to take care of something, I’ll call you tomorrow.” He was practically out the door before I could get another word out. I stood in the middle of my apartment, mouth open, staring at the door for a few long moments after he left, pondering the peculiarity of his actions. I could sense that there was something strange going on, something he was being much less than forthcoming about.

I eventually decided to order take-out for myself and pick up a movie to watch on the way to the restaurant. The streets of Gotham were still very much alive and bustling, people just finishing work and some just starting their workday. I weaved through the ample amount of people lining the street as I exited the store to make my way toward the Chinese restaurant. Just as I rounded the corner my chest met with another, causing me to gasp and stumble, losing my balance and nearly falling backward; if it weren’t for the hands that grasped my sides I likely would have. My apology had barely made it from my lips when I met the familiar bright blue eyes that seemed ingrained within my mind.

I laughed a little. “We have to stop meeting like this.”

“Indeed.” He returned my smile.

I slid my hand atop his which had remained at my hips, removing them slowly, my grasp lingering on them for a moment. “Thank you.” He walked into the restaurant, holding the door for me as he entered.

“I’m sorry about the other evening, something came up at work.”

Shaking my head, I glanced back at him. “You don’t owe me an explanation, really.” I offered him a smile that I hadn’t meant as dismissive though from his expression it seemed he’d taken it that way.

He nodded at me. “Enjoy your night.” He grabbed his bag of takeout, turning toward the door.

“Wait.” I called after him. He stopped in his tracks, turning back to me quickly. I opened and closed my mouth, searching for the words. Glancing down at the bag of takeout with my name on it, before trailing my gaze back up to him. “Do you want to eat together?” Silence sat between us for a moment. “You don’t have to, obviously, it was just a suggestion. I-”

He cut off my ramblings then. “Yes. I would like that.”

A smile returned to my lips. We sat at a table together, beginning to eat as we spoke about our lives, continuing on from the other night as if no time had even passed. I couldn’t explain why I enjoyed his company so much, there was just something about it that felt… comfortable. When we spoke it felt as though he was truly interested in what I had to say, as if it really mattered, I wasn’t sure whether it was merely my lack of experience with guys who offered me that or whether it was something more profound, but either way I found myself craving the conversation, craving the feeling of being around him.

“So, you moved here for university?”

He nodded. “I grew up just outside of Gotham, my grandmother raised me.” He didn’t meet my eyes as he spoke. “What about you, were you born here?” His gaze fell over me then.

“No, Philly actually, lived there until I was about 7.” I picked at the food in front of me as I spoke. “My dad passed away, so I came to live with my uncle here in Gotham.”

“What about your mother?” My throat dried up at his question. I could almost feel her gaze on me now, the words left unspoken that were utterly clear through that look. “I apologise, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, no, it’s okay, my mom is a little complicated. She struggled a lot when my dad passed and I don’t think that she had that great of a support network, she couldn’t really handle having to contend with a child on top of everything else she was going through.”

“You were going through a lot too, Eve. You were just a child; she was your support network.”

I shrugged, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “It was a long time ago.”

“It would be natural for you to be upset with her, even slightly resentful.”

“I’m not.” He remained silent for a long moment, studying me. I felt slightly nervous under his gaze, wondering what his diagnosis for me would be.

“So, you were raised by your uncle?” I was grateful for the topic shift, feeling a sheen of sweat begin to form on the back of my neck, guilt creating a cavernous pit in the bottom of my stomach. I nodded at him, agreeing. “The two of you must be close then?”

I could barely remember a time when Uncle Jim wasn’t around, he’d been my best friend for as long as I could remember. “Yeah, he’s kind of been the one constant throughout my life. I owe him a lot.”

“What makes you say that?”

Shrugging slightly, I glanced around, searching for the words. “He encouraged me to strive for more than what had become my life. I think he was the first person to do that. The only person to do that.”

“He sounds like a good person.”

I nodded. “He’s the best person.”  

His lips upturned slightly at that. The both of us were silent for a long while. Simply enjoying the company as we finished out meals. Even once we were well and truly finished eating, we continued to sit, exchanging our lives easily with one another, he seemed slightly hesitant to be forthcoming with me, though slowly I managed to smooth his barriers over. I was almost certain that my heart skipped a beat when he offered to walk me back to my apartment, assuring me that he wouldn’t sleep unless he was sure I was home safe. Biting my lip and glancing at my feet for a moment I agreed, and we began on our walk side by side down the chilly Gotham streets. “Was that a friend of yours you were speaking with the other night at the De Lecroix? You seemed surprised to see him there.”

“Bruce. Yes, he is a friend, or at least he was, I’m not so sure where we stand these days.” I sighed, stuffing my hands into my coat pockets to shield them from the icy air. “He’s been away from Gotham for a long time.”

He shot me a sidelong glance. “He didn’t tell you he was coming back?”

“He doesn’t tell me a whole lot, actually. Last time he was home he wasn’t exactly communicative; I didn’t even know he was leaving until he was already long gone.” I didn’t know why I was telling him these things, they seemed to merely slip from me, it was easy, smooth like a hot knife through butter.

“Did that upset you?”

It did. That was the honest answer. I couldn’t deny the sting that had filled my chest when I’d seen him at the De Lecroix, smiling like he was, seemingly so carefree. I hated how much it hurt me, feeling like he hadn’t even spared a thought for me when I spent so much time considering him, his feelings, his pain. I nodded at Jonathan, barely raising my eyes to meet his studious gaze. Silence sat thick in the air for a moment, neither of us willing to fill it until I felt the words bubbling in my throat, almost as if it were an instinctual response. “It’s not really so simple though, I mean, Bruce has had a really hard life. He lost his parents and then had to watch their murderer get released at trial, I get why he needed to get away from it all.”

He nodded, his gaze never leaving me. “May I offer you my unsolicited opinion?” I nodded in response, attempting to bite back a smile. “You tend to make a lot of excuses for the people in your life who treat you poorly.”

I opened my mouth to protest instantaneously, though, no words came to mind. There was no rebuttal that presented itself to me. Instead, I let out a quiet sigh, looking straight ahead as we continued walking. His words dug their way into my mind.  “Do you make a habit of therapizing your dates?” I finally offered in way of response.

“Is this a date?” He raised an eyebrow at me, pressing his lips into a line, had there not been a glint of amusement in his bright gaze I’d have thought him indifferent.

I laughed slightly, coming to a stop in front of him as we made it to my apartment building. “Well, that is up to you, I suppose, would you like this to be a date, Jonathan?” He flushed slightly, breathing out what sounded like a laugh before glancing at his feet. His spike in nervousness was clear to me then. I bit my lip as I awaited his response. He finally met my gaze again, nodding gently at me. I couldn’t stop the beaming smile from taking over my features. Breaking away from his gaze after a long few moments, I glanced toward the stairs leading to my apartment building. “This is me…” He nodded again, quicker this time, raising his eyebrows as he glanced out at the road beside us. I rolled back and forth on the balls of my feet for a moment. It seemed neither of us were especially eager to leave the others company. I wasn’t entirely sure what possessed me to say what I said next, it was as though, just for a second, I was no longer in control of my words, or my body. For just a second my tight grip on the reins loosened. “Would you like to come up?”

I believe it was that exchange of words that led me here. That and the soft smiles I’d offered, the shy glances in his direction, and perhaps the directness of his tone, the unfiltered yet somehow polished words he’d spoken to me. Yes, I believe it was that very sequence of occurrences that led me to the kitchen of my apartment, standing across from him as I poured two cups of tea.

“I don’t exactly know what it is, I seem to have a lot of trouble letting go when I leave work, I can’t seem to switch off.” I shrugged, blowing on my steaming tea. “Maybe I’m just worried that if I loosen my grip, I’ll have to face everything else in my life, all the things my mind is usually too busy to think about.” He nodded, listening intently to each word I spoke. It was somewhat thrilling for someone to be so wholly attentive to me. At some point or another during the conversation we’d moved closer to one another, both leaning against the counter, separated only by the granite corner. I dropped my gaze from his then, tightening my grip on my mug, a chill of embarrassment creeping up my spine. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that I feel this weird sense of openness with you, like I can’t keep anything to myself, I’m not usually like this, sorry. Ignore me.”  

He shook his head, never looking away from me. “What if I don’t want to ignore you?”

My eyes travelled back up his form, the neat suit, defined features and those eyes, the ones which had captivated me so thoroughly I felt incapable of pulling back as I felt him move further toward me. I could feel the heat radiating from him then, my body seemed to hum as his flesh sat so very close to my own. He hesitated then, as if waiting to gauge my reaction and continued accordingly. I searched his eyes for a long moment, finding a hint of something almost indescribable in them, whatever it was seemed to guide me forward the remainder of the way and I crashed my lips against his. All hesitation, all reservation gone just as quick as it had come. He remained unmoving for only a mere moment before his hand caressed my wrist, skimming the flesh of my arm as he brought it up further and further until his hand was cupping my cheek, pulling me further into his embrace.

We moved as one back toward my sofa. A light push on his chest was signal enough for him to full backward onto it, me following suit, his bright blue gaze danced over me for a long moment, I leaned toward him, removing the glasses from his eyes, and folding them neatly on the side table. His jaw clenched, muscle flickering in his jaw. I glanced down at his hands, fingertips dancing at the edge of my bent knee. My eyes trailed back to his, watching as he swallowed heavily. I bit my lip, wrapping my hands around his and bringing them up toward my hips. “You don’t have to be nervous.” I murmured in his ear, kissing my way back toward his jaw. “It’s just little old me.” I teased; the corner of his lips upturned as he clutched my hips. For a moment I thought he was merely going to sit there with that slight smirk gracing his features. He leaned up toward me, pressing his soft lips to mine, so gentle it was almost just the ghost of his touch. Then, suddenly, there was a shift, his grip tightened on me, and he flipped us, pressing my back into the sofa as he laid atop me.

“Who say’s what I’m feeling has anything to do with nerves?” He pressed his pelvis to mine, punctuating the words he spoke. I moved my head back as he kissed his way down my neck and to the skin exposed by the top of my shirt. His head didn’t lift from my exposed flesh as his fingertips slipped to the hem of said shirt, moving the flimsy material up my torso and over my arms, continuing to kiss me tenderly as each new part of skin was revealed. It was only then my head began to swarm. As Jonathan continued to drag his lips over each inch of my body, I felt unable to focus on his pursuits as my wind flitted between Bruce’s strange behavior, my uncle pursuing a career that constantly endangered him and of course, the darker corner of my minds personal favorite, that soul-sucking, all-consuming, ever-present guilt. The thoughts continued to plague me, suffocating me in their depth until they stopped entirely, each and every thought instantly banished from my mind as his lips found purchase between my legs, pleasure bathing me in its cool embrace.

Maybe Rachel was right, casual sex would do the trick.