#tommy shelby x grace burgess

[littlepeakydevil]

Part 16: The Various Sorrows

Summary: Tommy agonizes over Lucy's reasons for not telling him about her infertility for so long.

Word Count: 2,988

Warnings: Infertility, polyamory, mild sexual content, angst, and religious trauma.

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Chapter 3: Smoke & Sugar

Tommy laid on his back, one arm around Lucy, holding her firmly to him as she slept peacefully against his chest. The other was flung across his forehead, thumb rubbing at his brow as he frowned up at the ceiling. He could hear Grace shifting, nestling up more firmly against Lucy’s back.

He had meant every word that he had said to her. Every single one. It made no difference to him if they had children together or not. That had never been why he was with her. And there had been times when he had wondered if it would even be something she would want, considering how uninterested she had always been in marriage or the idea of life as a housewife. 

That was not what was bothering him so much that he was unable to sleep.

A sudden cry came from the other room, Charlie’s little wails echoing. Goddamn, did the boy have a pair of lungs on him.

Grace jumped awake from where she’d already been almost entirely asleep against Lucy, head snapping upwards. But Tommy was already moving; carefully passing Lucy over to her before sliding out of bed.

“I’ve got him. You stay with her,” he whispered, mindful not to wake Lucy. Stepping heavily out of the bedroom and to the nursery, he pushed the door open, bending over the crib to scoop up his son. Cradling him against his bare chest, Tommy began to gently bounce him in his arms in the way that always seemed to calm him.

“Shush, sweet boy. I gotcha,” he whispered as he carried him over to the window to peer outside. “I gotcha. Shush.”

Charlie began to quiet immediately, hiccupping a few times before he started to coo, tiny hands patting at Tommy’s chest and shoulder. He smiled to himself, pecking a kiss to the baby’s forehead.

“Good boy.”

But then he started to think about how it must have felt for Lucy. To watch as Grace grew round and heavy over the months of her pregnancy while he fawned over her. How enraptured they were with the baby once he arrived. But Lucy had also fussed considerably over Grace during her pregnancy. And she was so sweet and loving with Charlie it just about made his heart want to burst every time he saw them together.  

But then, God…neither of them had been subtle in their suggestions about him and Lucy having a child together. Bringing it up regularly. And knowing what he knew now…  

His smile dropped. For a moment he felt like he might be sick. They must have made her feel terrible.

She hadn’t told him.

The thought, which he had been trying to shove down and away, rose up out of nowhere to practically punch him in the stomach. Swallowing around the sudden lump building in his throat, Tommy tried to focus his attention fully on Charlie, before he drowned in his thoughts and guilt over the whole situation. 

“Tommy?” Grace’s voice was low, her figure at the doorway barely more than a silhouette in the darkness. 

“He’s alright,” he said, still idly bouncing Charlie up and down. The baby had rested his head on his shoulder, snuggling against him as he began to drift back to sleep and Tommy almost felt like he could melt.

Grace walked steadily to them, passing a hand gingerly over Charlie’s head, placing a kiss to one of his chubby cheeks. Maneuvering him carefully, Tommy laid the baby back into his crib. Grace hovered at his side while they both gazed down at their sleeping son.

“Tommy…” Grace said again. Her voice was steady. Questioning. But there was steeliness there, too. Just the very beginnings of defensiveness as she looked at him, analyzing. He realized with a start that she was trying to gauge if he was upset or not. And that if he was, she was more than ready to jump to Lucy’s defense if need be.

The comforting knowledge that she cared for Lucy enough to put herself between them if she deemed it necessary warmed his heart. Not that she ever would have to, of course.

“She didn’t tell me,” he finally whispered, hoping that would be enough explanation as to what was bothering him. Tommy felt as though he sagged when the words left him, the achiness of the thought spreading throughout his chest. He couldn’t get that terrified look in Lucy’s eyes just before she told him out of his mind. Was he really that frightening? Had she really thought him so cruel or shallow that he would be genuinely angry with her?

“Oh, love,” Grace visibly softened, voice still soft to avoid waking the baby. One of her hands rested comfortingly on his shoulder. “It wasn’t…” she trailed off, biting her lip. “She was just scared.”

The sentiment did little to comfort him. “I always thought that she wasn’t afraid of me,” he mumbled. Grace rolled her eyes fondly.

“Not of you. Of you leaving her.”

“Do I really come across as that cold hearted?”

“No, Tommy, of course not,” Grace leaned closer until their sides were pressed together. “It’s just…” she frowned, searching for the words, then sighed. “I really don’t think that it had all that much to do with you at all.”

He shot her a quizzical look and she huffed, fingers fiddling with a button on her nightclothes. Tommy wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her more snugly against him.

“Tommy, you have to understand that a lot of us…” she made a sound of frustration as she tried to figure out how she wanted to word things. “From the time we were children, most of us women were taught that getting married, having babies…that’s just something we’re all supposed to do. And that if someone didn’t or couldn’t do either of those things…that there must be something wrong with them,” she was biting at her bottom lip again. “Lucy grew up in a devout Catholic household. I’m sure all that she was told from the time she was little was that she better find a man and give him lots of children. Or else he wouldn’t want her.”

Tommy squeezed his eyes shut, and, not for the first time, silently wished that he could go back in time and kill Lucy’s father a second time. 

“She’s done a pretty damn good job of divorcing herself from a lot of those traditional ideas,” Grace continued on. “But that fear that, just maybe, they were right all along…it’s a powerful thing, Tommy,” the hand that had snuck around his shoulders as they leaned against each other reached up to stroke his hair, encouraging his head to rest against hers. “You haven’t done anything wrong. You’ve loved and supported her the best you can. Her not telling you doesn’t mean that she doesn’t trust you. It just means that the brainwashing of the church and a traditional upbringing got the better of her. That’s all.”

Sucking in a shaky breath, Tommy nodded. It made sense, he supposed. “Right,” he mumbled. “But I still feel…” he sighed.

“Terrible? So do I,” Grace shrugged, helplessly. “We didn’t know.”

Wetting his lips, Tommy glanced over at the window, a thin sliver of silver moonlight seeping in at the side where the curtain hadn’t been pulled entirely to cover it. “Sometimes I worry that she doesn’t really know how much I love her.”

He heard Grace swallow heavily, feeling as she shifted from foot to foot next to him. “Yeah. Me too.”

A silent, helpless gloominess seemed to settle between the both of them. Grace was the first to shake it away, straightening.

“She’ll be okay. We all will,” she said it with such strong confidence that Tommy really had no choice but to believe her. Taking his hand, she cast one last fond look down at Charlie before beginning to tug him towards the door. “Come on. Let’s get back to her.”

“Yeah,” he didn’t hesitate to follow her out of the nursery and back into the master bedroom. Where their lover was still sleeping peacefully in their bed.  

∗ ∗ ∗ 

He woke up slowly, hazily, his eyes blinking sluggishly up at the ceiling. The blankets were pulled half over his stomach, light just barely beginning to shine through the curtains behind the bed. Letting out a small, barely audible groan, Tommy raised a forearm to rest over his eyes, allowing himself the small luxury of sinking more deeply into the mattress for a moment before he had to rise and get ready for the day.

Dropping his forearm away from his eyes, he craned his head down to look at the figure curled up against his chest, and frowned. Instead of red hair he was greeted with Grace’s golden waves. She was snuggled up to him, arm loose around his waist. Lucy nowhere to be found. 

Stroking his fingers once through Grace’s hair and down along her arm, he slipped carefully out from under her, smiling at the way she almost immediately began to cuddle his pillow in his absence.

Standing and rubbing a hand up and down his neck, he checked the bathroom first. The door was open and the lights off. No Lucy there. Frown deepening, he fought back the beginning tickles of panic as he stepped out in the hall.

He found her in the nursery, the sound of her voice, mumbling indiscernibly, filtering out into the hall. Exhaling a breath of relief, he followed the hum of her familiar Birmingham lilt, coming to a stop in the doorway.

She had pulled on her dressing gown over her matching nightgown, red hair still tussled from sleep. She was standing by the window, the curtain pulled aside to allow the sunlight into the room. Charlie was hefted up into her arms, babbling to himself as Lucy cooed to him in a soft voice, smiling brightly when his little fists grabbed at her red hair. As Tommy watched, she leaned in close so that the tip of her nose bumped Charlie’s, and the little boy squealed in delight, laughing and clapping his hands. Lucy laughed and kissed his cheek.

Tommy felt his heart clench with affection for them both, lips pulling up at the corners.

“Lucy,” he said quietly, and she turned from the window to look at him, smiling almost shyly. Charlie squawked with joy.

“Hey,” her voice was little more than a whisper. “He, um, he was awake, so…”

Still smiling, Tommy approached them. “He alright?”

“Yeah. I already gave him a bottle and changed him.”

Humming, he cupped the back of her head, pulling her face up to kiss her. “Good morning.”

Lucy smiled against his lips. “Good morning.”

Charlie made a babbling sound, clearly wanting attention, and they both laughed as they broke away. Lucy gave him a playful little bounce that he clearly enjoyed.

“Can you say hello to Daddy, Charlie?” she asked. Charlie just made grabby hands at him and Tommy chuckled, giving the baby a kiss on the forehead.

“Good morning, my boy.”

Charlie giggled, hands flailing around. He got distracted by a swoosh of Lucy’s dark red hair when she turned her head, making another grab at her hair. Tommy wondered if he liked the color.

“You want to play with the blocks, kiddo?” Lucy asked, chuckling at Charlie's continued attempts to catch her hair in his fists. She carried him over to the little play area set up in the nursery, setting him down on the mat and pulling out the blocks and toys for him to play with before sitting down nearby to watch him. Spotting an opportunity, Tommy sat down behind her, legs stretching out on either side of Lucy’s body as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him until her back was pressed to his chest. Hands resting on his arms, Lucy stroked over his skin as he peppered a few kisses into the nape of her neck and along her shoulders. Neither of them said anything for a good while, just watching Charlie play with his toys in comfortable silence.

“Are you really not upset with me?” she asked, finally. Tommy cocked his head, resting his cheek against the side of her head.

“Of course not.”  

“Even about the part where I knew and took years to tell you?”

He hesitated, considering how he wanted to phrase his answer, nosing at her hair affectionately while he did to let her know it was still okay. “I would have preferred that you told me when you found out,” he admitted slowly. Lucy’s shoulders slumped.

“I know. I’m sorry–”

Shushing her softly, he kissed her cheek, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Really.”

But she just shook her head. “I was being selfish.”

He cocked his head, brows furrowing. “How so?”

“I kept putting it off for so long because…I wanted to be able to hold onto you for a little longer.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“I know that.”

His lips pursed. “Did you really not know that before?”

Lucy frowned, forehead creasing with it, and he squeezed her a little tighter against him. “I don’t know…”

“Grace says that the brainwashing that comes from a traditional, religious upbringing is a powerful thing.”

She let out a tiny laugh that vibrated against his palms. “She’s probably right.”

“Mm,” he dropped another kiss onto her shoulder. “I was worried that you were scared of me.”

“I’m not.”

He just grunted. Despite her and Grace’s reassurance, there were still a few remnants of fear that she was afraid to tell him things.

Lucy craned her head around to look over her shoulder at him, all big brown eyes and freckles as she scoffed. “You? My big, sweet teddy bear? Not likely.”

He snorted. “I think that you’re probably the only person in the world who would describe me that way.”

She giggled and kissed him, her lips soft and tasting of smoke and sugar. Tommy tightened his hold on her, angling his head to deepen the kiss.

“I hate the thought of you having to deal with it all on your own,” he whispered after they parted. “I want to help you with those things.”   

She nodded, eyes lowered as she stroked his chest. “I know,” when her gaze lifted back up to meet his, Tommy felt his breath stutter at just how dark brown her eyes were. She was so beautiful. “Thank you.”

Charlie made a squealing noise, and they both glanced over to watch him stick the ear of his stuffed horse into his mouth. Lucy laughed.

“That taste good, kiddo?”

Charlie just giggled, squeezing the stuffed animal to his chest. Tommy chuckled, hooking his chin over Lucy’s shoulder as he curled around her.

“I love you very, very much,” he murmured to her. “You know that, right?”

Her hand folded over where his were clasped around her. “I do,” she turned her head and kissed his cheek. “I love you too.”

He smiled at her, brushing his nose along her cheekbone affectionately before settling back into cuddling her, both of them watching in silent, peaceful contentment as Charlie played with his toys.

“I’m still very sorry,” she repeated.

“You apologize one more damn time and I’m going to start getting cross with you,” he teased, letting his teeth scrape just ever so slightly along her shoulder, grinning at how it made her shiver.

She giggled at the empty threat. “I don’t know…as I recall I’ve quite enjoyed the times you’ve gotten cross with me.”

He laughed, grinning down at her while her head fell backwards to look up at him. Her eyes were shining and happy, and he really had no choice but to kiss her again when she was looking at him like that.

“We’re okay. Really. Don’t worry,” he said. Lucy nodded, clearly relieved. And then something mischievous entered her eyes, and when she spoke her voice had taken on a playful tone he knew all too well. 

“But I am truly very, very sorry–”

“Oh for fuck’s sake–”

He brought his mouth crashing down onto hers to shut her up, at the same moment rolling them so she was on her back with him on top of her. Lucy shrieked at the sudden movement, hands latching onto his shoulders for purchase. Then she was laughing against his mouth, fingers sliding into his hair while her lips parted for him. Charlie, either thinking that they were playing or perturbed at them for becoming frisky in his presence, made a high pitched noise.

Breaking away from Lucy and half sitting up, he glanced over at his son, who was staring at them with big, curious eyes.

“Cockblock,” he grumbled good naturedly. Lucy just snickered and pushed on his chest until he let her up, tugging her to sit curled in his lap while he leaned his back against the wall, arms around her as Charlie, apparently satisfied, returned to his toys. He pecked the sensitive spot behind her ear, smirking at the tiny gasp that left her lips. “We’ll be returning to that later,” he promised.

“I look forward to it,” she smirked, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his chest. Tommy stroked her hair, encouraging her to tilt her head up to look at him, her eyes sparkling. Relief, that she seemed to be coming back to her old playful, mischievous self, washed over him. There’s my girl.  

He really couldn’t help the way that his hand slipped up to encase her thigh, half exposed thanks to the short length of her nightgown.

Charlie made a sound that really couldn’t have been interpreted as anything other than protest, and threw his stuffed horse at them. Lucy cackled.  

“Kid’s got a sixth fucking sense,” she said.

He laughed, shaking his head fondly, and kissed her again.

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Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!

[heeahheeya]

He treats her as he serves the goddess🙇‍♂️❤️🧝‍♀️

[thesoldiersminute]

Peaky Blinders Season 3 | Episode 1

[brummiereader]

Thank you so much for the reblog ❤️!

I'm happy you enjoyed this one shot and storyline! She did indeed help him to see that young Oliver was not a burden but a child needing and deserving of love from the man he thought the world of 😊!

No Son Of Mine (One Shot)

Summary: Justice had finally been served in the wake of John's death. But with all acts of violence comes consequences, one Tommy must face when his trusted friend Johnny dogs stumbles upon the now orphaned baby of the traitor and his wife he and Arthur had both murdered in cold blood all in the name or revenge. With no child of their own and Graces refusal to send him to the orphanage, Tommy begrudgingly takes the child into his care. Will Tommy ever show young Oliver the love of a father he deserves? Or will he continue to see him as nothing but a burden the heavens had cruelly punished him with?

Warnings: Language, mentions of murder, mentions of blood, angst, fluff

Authors note: A lovely reader of mine popped into my messages and kindly asked me if I could write this story for them. I'm sorry for the long delay hun, I can only blame my procrastinating brain for my tardiness. Anyway, I hope i did your prompt justice. Enjoy!

"Right, we done?" Tommy said raising a brow as he wiped the blood that had splattered onto to his crisp white evening shirt looking to his brother Arthur nodding his head in response, his chest heaving up and down as he brushed his bloody hands through his hair, both having been sidetracked from the nights festivities.

" Fucking scum" Arthur sniffed wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he gave one last kick to the lifeless body at his feet. A cascade of events since John's death had led up to this very day, and Tommy and Arthur both simultaneously agreed without the need of words that justice had finally been served. Luca Changretta had been dead for almost a fortnight, the vendetta was over for all but the two surviving older brothers. That was until tonight when both Arthur and Tommy were unexpectedly called away to the news that Johnny dogs had found exactly who they'd been looking for. The traitor, the informer, the bastard that had given John's address to the Italians. A Peaky Blinder, one of their very own men.

" What about her?" Arthur spat a splutter of saliva laced with blood to the ground, the result of one lucky punch from the chancer that had tried his luck with the towering gangster. He'd put up a decent fight, one Arthur enjoyed watching before his patience grew thin and he pummeled his fist into him, each snap and break of his bloody face crumbling into something unrecognizable before being shot point-blank in the head. No one wanting or willing to hold him back. Not even Tommy. No forgiveness was given that dark night, only the sweet mercy met at the end of the barrel of a gun.

" Collateral" Tommy replied as he rubbed a cigarette across his lips not giving the nights events one ounce of remorse. This was for John after all.

" Collateral?" Arthur sniffed feeling a pang of guilt hit his stomach. Women and children were not to be harmed, an unspoken agreement before time in all dealings in war between men.

" Yes Arthur, fucking collateral alright?" Tommy snapped as he marched over to his brother whose eyes hadn't left those of the lifeless woman laid on the muddied ground below him " She ran into the line of fire brother. She all but killed herself" Tommy finished growing impatient with Arthur's weighing guilt. The last thing he needed was his number one soldier to be hit with a moral compass.

" Lads, we've got ourselves a wee problem" Johnny rushed over breathless as he loosened the neckerchief from the vein pumping angrily on the side of his neck. Fuck sake, Tommy thought to himself as he threw his cigarette to the ground. Things could never go smoothly, as smoothly as murder could go that was.

" What kinda problem?" Tommy replied as he and Arthur followed him into the small bedsit from the courtyard that two dead bodies had yet to be disposed of. The commotion resulting in the curiosity and twitching of the neighbours curtains, not one of them daring to or even contemplating in the slightest to inform any person of authority. Who would they go to? The police? The mere thought was laughable.

"Just a small one" Johnny replied taking two steps at a time up the rickety wooden stairs elaborating no further on what exactly had thrown a spanner into the works.

"A small problem Johnny eh? That's a big fucking problem!" Tommy ranted shaking his head as the three men entered the flat met with the sound of a newborn baby wailing in his woven bassinet, his bottom lip wobbling with each cry that furiously left his little lungs.

"Well he's small ain't he?" Johnny replied as he tilted his head looking down at the baby boy bundled in a white knitted blanket. You'd think with the the small army of children Johnny had fathered he'd be in his element. But that couldn't be further from the truth. Johnny was a natural with children, but a natural with children that had been weened, potty trained, and able enough to drive a four wheeled vehicle and shoe a horse. In basic terms, teenagers. But nonetheless wee babbies in his eyes. Newborns were all but a loud messy mystery to him.

" Jesus fucking Christ..." Tommy huffed pinching his brow as his mind frantically tried to come up with a solution as to what in the hell he was going to do now.

" Bloody hell, bloody fucking hell!" Arthur bellowed as he kicked the chair beside him, the gravity of what they had just gone hitting him far more than any sin from the long list he had committed in the past. They had made a child an orphan, and Arthur's regret and new-found faith in the almighty was about to turn into a furious rage of self-inflicted guilt.

" Hey, hey!" Tommy said cupping Arthur's head in his hands in a vice grip, trying to snap him from the pit he was intent on falling in. " Johnny take the child and go start the car" Tommy said loosening his hands as Arthur's head cast down with shame at his sudden outburst. No reading of scriptures would ever be able to tame the raging fury from igniting within him at any given moment, no matter how hard he tried. " And Johnny, light a fire. Just as we did for John" Tommy finished reminding Arthur who this was for, who they were avenging.

" He won't quit!" Arthur panicked as he held the baby in the back seat of the car, fumbling with the hand stitched blanket as Tommy drove full speed down the country lane back to Arrow house were the night of meeting with dignitaries was surely over.

" He ain't a bloody chicken is he?" Johnny said as he reached over from the passengers seat taking the bundled up child into his arms. " Like this, look" Johnny added resting the baby's head on his shoulder as he silently prayed to every ancestor to take pity on him, promising them that the next child to be birthed with his last name he'd be the epitome of a modern father to.

" Shut him up Johnny!" Tommy shouted, his jaw clenched at the increased wailing in his ear, his nerves on edge by the constant reminder of the nights events he now had to deal with as he slammed his foot down on the pedal with Arrow house in sight.

"Grace!" Tommy's voice bellowed through the walls of the their house. Every guest had already left, the grand entrance cleared of tables of the most prestigious of all champagnes imported from France mere hours ago. A night of free food, free booze and music in return for them delving into their pockets. But with the host having been otherwise occupied for most of the evening it was a night wasted, one he would begrudgingly have to endure for a second time.

" Tommy..." Grace said as she hurried down the stairs pulling her ivory night gown around her as she watched Tommy pace back and forth with a cigarette hanging from his lips in the grand hallway.

" Here. You wanted a baby, now you have one" Tommy said as he took the child from Johnny's arms placing him into hers before storming off to his office and slamming the door shut, leaving his wife wide-eyed in confusion as Johnny and Arthur stood there sheepishly without a word.

" Frances, some warm cows milk and another blanket please. That will have to do until the morning" she said softly not wanting to startle the child anymore as she gently hushed his sobs away into small whimpers and sniffles. " One of you going to tell me what happened?"

It had been an hour, three whiskys, a packet of cigarettes and the rubbing of one's brow back and forth as a pounding headache settled onto his forehead since Tommy had shut himself away in his office, shutting himself away from the consequences of the night.

" Tommy?" Graces voice quietly announced as she entered the room with the newborn bundled in her arms soundly asleep as a flash of love at seeing his wife in her element softened her husband's face. Her motherly instincts that had been waiting to be freed finally being put to use after the longing for her own child.

" I've rung the orphanage" Tommy bluntly replied, the sweet moment that had captured him bitterly snatched away by no one else but himself as he stubbed out his cigarette. " They're coming first thing tomorrow to..."

" The orphanage. Tommy..." Grace interrupted him, her angered voice raising just above a whisper in response before being cut off herself.

" I won't hear anymore on it Grace. He can't stay here, that's the end of it" Tommy stood up throwing his lighter on a stack of paperwork as he rested his hands on the mahogany desk in front of him, looming over the list of numbers he had been calling as he huffed out a cloud of smoke.

" The end of it is it Thomas?" Grace scoffed as she walked forward, her eyes narrowing in on her husband with every step she took. " You made this child an orphan, he is your responsibility now. That's the end of it" she said coming to a stop in front of his desk as her husbands jaw tightened at her words.

" What about John's kids eh? They've been made orphans, hm? Grace? " He said as his wife turned her back on him as she headed for the door, Tommy's raised voice enough to startle a small whimper of cries from the baby boy now waking up from a deep slumber.

" When will it end Tommy?" Grace said as she came to a stop at the door. Tommy's relentless need for revenge against anyone who had dared to cross him leaving a string of orphans, elderly burying their own children and children burying their own parents. " A son Tommy, isn't that what you've wanted? What we've wanted?" she sighed, a deep wave of sorrow filling her heart as she looked down at the sweet child in her arms, a child she had yearned for during the unforgiving nights she had held onto her husband as tears streamed her face. Loss after loss breaking her already shattered heart.

" He'll be no son of mine"

Six years later...

" Elbows off Oliver" Grace reprimanded with a small smile of affection at the breakfast table to the child who had grown into a dimpled cheeked young boy as she rubbed her swollen stomach.

" Yes mummy" he replied kicking his legs back and forth as he wiped his cheeks from the egg soldiers he had just enjoyed as Tommy eyed him over the newspaper in his hand, reaching to caress his wife's stomach.

" He'll be here soon" Grace smiled to her husband lacing her fingers between his as she glanced over at her son that had no knowledge of who his birth parents were or the night that had brought him into their life, never wanting to or willing to send him into turmoil with the truth at such a young age "A baby brother for you Oliver " she winked to him as he grinned from ear to ear at the idea of having a sibling all whilst trying to stack the remaining pieces of toast into a strong hold that would keep the soldiers from the fiery dragon his imagination had conjured up. His attempts rendered futile when his tower of toast came crashing down onto the recently polished floors.

" Grace..." Tommy huffed folding his newspaper in half throwing it on the table in front of him, his patience easily tested with anything the small boy did that caused the slightest of inconvenience.

" Don't play with your food darling" she corrected him as Oliver's eyes darted to his father and the irritation clearly expressed in the creases of his furrowed brow. "Go clean up those buttery cheeks before I leave ok?" She smiled as the boy nodded in response while sliding off his seat only to stand on the scattered toast below him, causing a mountain of crumbs and further mess.

" You heard your mother" Tommy huffed lighting a cigarette as he looked down at the waste of food and the disorder that came with the child that had created it. " Oliver" Tommy pinched his brow as the little boy stood there doe eyed looking up at him nervously through his lashes.

" Go on" Grace smiled reassuring him as he ran to the door. " You're to harsh with him, he's scared of you" Grace said snapping her head to Tommy as he left the room.

" He doesn't listen" Tommy stated as he stood up taking a drag of his cigarette as he watched the boy through the crack of the door running up the stairs. " Stands there looking gormless whenever I tell him to do something, just like his traitor father"

" Tommy!" Grace said as she put the breakfast dishware down, crashing them onto the table in one loud clatter of knives, forks and spoons as she hurried to shut the door. " Don't ever let him hear you talk like that!"

" Well maybe he should know, eh Grace ?" Tommy said coldly stubbing his cigarette out, the pain from his brothers death never fully grieved, only ever making itself clear through the unfair coldness he showed to the child his wife had lovingly taken in all those years ago, raising him solely on her own over the watchful eye of him always standing from afar.

" You'd like that wouldn't you Tommy? Wouldn't have to keep up your facade anymore" Grace replied as she walked around the table. " Your his father, he knows no different. Just like this one" she said resting her hand on her stomach. " You're breaking his heart Tommy" she said taking his hand trying to reason with his stubbornness and the relentless friction he had undoubtedly created in the house the three of them shared. "I'm going to miss my train" she sighed as she closed her hand around his placing a tender kiss to his lips before turning to leave as Tommy followed behind her, watching from the door as she knelt down to Oliver in the entryway.

" Can't i come?" the young boy sobbed as she brushed his tears from his rosy cheeks. " Please?" he sniffed turning to see Tommy leaning against the door frame watching from afar, always from afar.

" I'm sorry darling, not this time" she replied a look of concern in her eyes about leaving him alone with Tommy, silently wishing this one time he would push his unenthusiastic demeanor aside and at least try if not for her then the little boy who thought the world of him. The same little boy with a determination that matched the very man who would brush off any attempts he made to impress him. Tommy's hate for the man that had fathered him clouding every parental instinct in his body. " I'll bring you something back" she winked giving him a hug before she fixed her hat and hesitantly turned to the door, leaving the young boy standing in the hallway sobbing as Tommy cruelly turned his back on his tears and shut the dinning room door behind him.

" Dad, Johnny, watch me!" Oliver shouted as he precariously placed one foot in front of the other climbing the large oak tree shading the evening sun on the grounds of Arrow house as Tommy and Johnny dogs watched on from the patio door. The young boy hell-bent on getting to the very top after seeing his uncle Arthur climb the very same tree two weeks earlier as he watched on in awe.

"That 'a boy!" Johnny shouted back pulling his cigarette from his mouth as he waved back. " Found 'em Tom" he turned to Tommy in a hushed voice as he leaned in. "They live up north in Yorkshire, factory workers in the local pressing center. Dirt poor, drunk ol' man that beats his wife within an inch of her life and too many mouths to feed" Johnny added as he watched Tommy's eyes following Oliver's every move.

" He's gonna fucking fall" Tommy huffed under his breath as he stood up straight, already on guard for the inevitable. He never fucking listens, why would he never listen to him?

" Tom, you listening ?" Johnny said as he pulled the address of Oliver's uncle from his pocket. " Grace will never forgive you Tom, he's her whole world" Johnny added as Tommy took the piece of crumpled paper from him, the decision to send Oliver to his family having been made after the unexpected news of Grace's pregnancy, a decision made solely by him without her knowledge. It's better she didn't know, better for him that was. And when the day did come, he'd tell her his family claimed him back. What grounds would she have to fight them? She'd be distracted with the birth of their son, she'd forget...wouldn't she?

"Dad look!" Oliver shouted trying to get his attention, determined to show him how far he could climb, how he was as fearless as any other Shelby before he misplaced his foot and came tumbling down to the ground.

"Oliver!" Tommy shouted throwing his cigarette into the grass as he and Johnny ran over in a panic. " What did I tell you eh?! What did I fucking tell you?!" Tommy shouted, all words of expected comfort and love absent from his voice as anger and frustration took over.

"I'm sorry..." he sobbed looking up to his dad as Tommy removed his cap from his head, running his hands through his hair as he looked down at the bloody cut on his hand, every ounce of his being telling him to cradle the boy in his arms that knew nothing but him as his father.

" Ay, up you get" Johnny said helping him as he gave him a pat to his back. " Just a scratch Oliver ay? No broken bones. Nout to worry on. Ain't that right Tommy?" Johnny said in attempts to reassure the sobbing boy and Tommy who was about ready to snap again, his jaw tightened at the sight of Oliver's cheeks streamed with tears, muddy and red from the blow of the fall.

"Get inside" Tommy said placing his cap back on as he started marching back to the house, ignoring the pit of fear in his stomach at how things could have taken a turn for the worse under his watch of the boy Grace had entrusted him with. " Boys don't cry Oliver. Soldier up and wipe those tears" Tommy harshly stated as he left him and Johnny by themselves as he made his way to his office, shutting himself once again away from any more responsibility, anymore damage his presence caused.

" Come on lad" Johnny said putting his arm around him as Oliver sniffed back his tears feeling foolish that he had not only fallen but cried In front of his father, the man that never cried.

Sitting back in his leather chair Tommy rubbed the weight of the guilt that had settled on his forehead with the tips of his fingers as the night drew in, the soft hue from the crackling fire the only source of light in the blackened room he had locked himself in for the remainder of the evening. The impending birth of his child had unexpectedly thrown Tommy's thoughts into an uncomfortable disarray. Out of sight out of mind had been Tommy's only solution to the feelings that had started to arise in him that fatherhood had threatened, that fatherhood had been threatening him with for six years. Oliver was more like him than Tommy dared to admit. The child's strong will and refusal to listen one of his own cruel making. Why couldn't he love him like he already loved his unborn child? How long could he keep this up? Would he be that man, unashamedly favoring one child in front of the other? With too many questions dominating his thoughts and his wife's gentle voice absent to soothe the demons he had created for himself, Tommy did what he only knew how to do. Drink himself to the bottom of a whisky bottle. Heading up to the second floor of Arrow house with the finest bottle of Irish whisky in his hand he stopped at the top of the stairs, small whimpers and cries coming from the room at the end of the hallway capturing his attention. Oliver's room.

" Frances!" Tommy called out as he waited for the the housekeeper to deal with what he knew he couldn't. "Fuck sake" he huffed under his breath after waiting in place for someone to come before he found himself walking down the hallway to Oliver's room. There, with his knees curled up to his chest Tommy watched though the crack of the door as Oliver rubbed his hand back and forth over the bandage wrapped tightly around his injured wrist, his small frame illuminated by the cast of the gentle moonlight shining through his bedroom window. Running his hand down his face Tommy opened the door as Oliver quickly turned around pulling the blankets up to his chin.

"Oliver?" Tommy questioned placing the bottle of whisky on the side cabinet as he walked over. " Why aren't you asleep?" Tommy said more bluntly than he intended to as he stood by the bed, feeling a wave of unease wash over him as he noted the small blanket Oliver was clutching onto. The very same blanket he was wrapped in the night they had found him. Grace had kept it, something he would have known if he had ever sat and read him a bedtime story, if he had ever woke in the night to hush the nightmares away from his worried mind, if he had ever even entered his room in all of the six years he had lived under his roof." Let me see" Tommy said in a gentler tone as he sat beside him on the bed. " Oliver let me see" he said when no response came from the whimpers the small child was trying to stifle. Boys don't cry. " Please?" Tommy sighed resting his hand on the child's back as his head fell into his other, the guilt of six year of taking the life of his parents settling on his shoulders pushing him further into his elbow digging into his leg as his head grew heavy with regret. Sniffling, Oliver turned around with his hand out as Tommy cradled it gently in his own, the difference in size causing Tommy's throat to go dry. The hate for his father's betrayal that of a grown mans doing, not this young boys that Tommy had cruelly burdened him with for six years " First of many battle wounds eh?" Tommy smiled to the young boy as Oliver's face stayed unchanged, unresponsive to Tommy trying to ease his worry. Had he done this? Made the child is his care so frightened of him he couldn't even a coax a smile from him?

" Soldiers don't cry" Oliver said pulling his hand away, his bottom lip turning down at the thought he wasn't as strong as his father, a soldier like him.

" They do Oliver" Tommy said as his brows knitted together at the thought that young Oliver had taken his words to heart. What else had Tommy said in the past six years, what else had he unknowingly taught him?

" You said boys..."

" And I shouldn't have " Tommy answered before he could finish as the boy wiped his tears from his youthful cheeks whilst a small silence filled the room, the strain from their relationship left empty with nothing further to say as Tommy desperately tried to search for the comforting words he knew Oliver needed to hear. " You want your mum don't you?" Tommy said swallowing harshly as he turned his head to the rays of moonlight cast on the wooden floor " I'm sorry Oliver, I'm..." Tommy huffed pinching his brow as he clasped his hand around the child's shoulder. "... I'm not very good at this. You gotta help me out here. Will you help me?" he said as he gently squeezed his shoulder, rubbing his thumb back and forth as the barriers Tommy had kept up started to fall around him as he desperately scrambled to gain back the wasted years he had been adored, loved unconditionally, a love he had never once reciprocated . " Get some rest" Tommy sighed patting Oliver's shoulder, his plea for help left unanswered as he stood up when a small hand grabbed hold of him.

" Tell me a story, please?" Oliver asked as he sat up in his bed looking up to the man he had always looked up to, always waiting for an ounce of affection.

" That what your mum does eh?" Tommy replied as he sat back down, adjusting the covers lovingly around the boy, if not a little overly enthusiastically as Oliver was now in a tight cocoon of covers and blankets with his arms securely fastened by his sides. " A story..." Tommy mused aloud, his eyes looking up at the ceiling as his brain mulled over all the potential tales that could see him sleeping in the guest room for an undefined amount of time if Grace ever found out, when the corners of his mouth turned up into a smile you would think had never seen the light of day let alone witnessed by anyone but himself. Arthur had made him swear in blood to never mention the day his gangly legs had gotten in his way causing him to fall from would could have been the very same tree Oliver had fell from earlier that day in attempts impress a girl three decades ago. " Arthur made me swear never to tell anyone, but you won't tell him I told you, right? Tommy said as the boy nodded his head, understanding the severity of pinky swears and the fate of death if you ever spilled.

" Cross my heart" he nodded with all the seriousness he could muster as his little face twisted into a stern expression, a worthy match to Tommy's own infamous pout. He was a Shelby after all, Tommy thought to himself as his heart suddenly filled with pride.

" That's my boy" Tommy said as he turned to sit beside him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder as Oliver nestled into his side " My son eh? Tommy nudged him into his body as the boys eyes beamed up at his father's loving gaze. "My son..."

[tommygrace]

The way they loved each other so much.

[loveisalwaystheanswer]

PEAKY BLINDERS || S01E03 Dir. Otto Bathurst

[graveyard---dolly]

I love here

[tommyxgrace-always]

Guess who’s idea was it….

The man’s got game!!!!

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 77: A Proposition

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

*Warning: Talk of intimacy

The few days’ journey to Belfast slips by like a blur. I’m driven to an elegant hotel and am told to wait for my parents’ arrival, which should be tomorrow. The man I’m marrying is said to be in Scotland and will be arriving tomorrow as well. I’m to spend the night before my wedding in a quiet, lonely hotel room. Each minute that ticks by only increases the tightening in my stomach. Lord, I feel like I'm going to be sick. I really wish Dílis was here to keep me company.

But at least the selected dress is decent. A bit bland for my taste but it could be worse. I decide to slip it on and model it in front of the tall mirror. Moeder chose one with a high neckline and flowing skirt, although I could do without the long sleeves. Even the veil looks too bland on me. The only upside is that it helps to hide my fresh scar. Although this is supposed to represent the happiest day of my life I can’t help but feel incomplete.

My reflection in the mirror confirms it. I’m not the same person I was fourteen years ago. Back then I was carefree and naïve. Now I’m sad and tired. Tired of putting myself off. Surely I’ve gone the distance to earn romantic love? Perhaps this marriage will deliver it… Even if it will be with a man I might not love.

Is that the life Thomas was used to? Being surrounded by despair, desperate for any form of happiness even if it was paid for? Even after all this time I will still be clinging to past feelings. 

“God, you look beautiful.”

My eyes fly open and I gasp when I see an addition to the reflection. His scent of scent of mint, ash, and cigarettes fills the room and floods my senses.

“You-? You’re here?” 

I spin around, almost tripping on the skirt. I am not imagining this. He is here. Thomas is here. In my hotel room, staring at me in a wedding dress. Ada let it slip to someone. And now I can’t hide it from him.

“Please leave,” I request evenly and turn away. “If you don’t mind I’d like to spend the last few moments I have alone in peace before my life changes forever.”

Thomas, looking like he’s had no sleep during his trip here, drops onto the bed’s plush mattress. I don’t even bother to care about how much dirt he’s getting on it.

“Have you even met him yet?”

I take a breath and keep up the charade. “Vader says I’ll learn to love him. I’ve tried to love others in the past but they couldn’t look away from my connections to you.”

At least with Bonnie he understood how gangs work. But most of the men I explain my past to believe it’s unladylike. Lord knows I tried to move on but no one ever seemed the right fit.

“Honestly I don’t even know if I can love anymore.”

“You will never stop loving people,” Thomas assures. “But you can’t marry him.”

I quirk a brow and humor his statement. “If I remember straight, I seem to recall you saying that I don’t decide your life and that you don’t decide mine. Why the sudden change of heart?”

Thomas keeps looking at me and shakes his head, as if the situation is inarguable. “You just can’t.”

“Since when is my love life suddenly your top priority?” I poke at him. I need to know.

He stands up from the bed but I don’t feel spooked. “You think I don’t care?” 

I put my hands up my hips. “You never showed any interest until now. My moeder’s not waiting any longer for me to find someone so vader’s arranged for me to marry a complete stranger. One of Uncle Colon’s friends, apparently.” 

He takes another look at my dress. “I knew you were leaving. You never said anything about marriage.”

“I didn’t want you to feel… obligated to worry. You have enough on your plate as it is.” I bunch up the skirt and step over to set my veil down on the dresser. “What difference does it make? I still need to protect my familie’s legacy.”

Thomas watches me carefully. After a few seconds he tosses his cap on the bed and runs a hand through his hair. Damn it, Thomas! Come clean with whatever you’ve got to say and don’t make yourself at home here!

“First I thought Grace was the only one who understood. Even after you warned me about her,” he begins. “Now I have begun a new life. And I want you in it. Arthur’s right. I never showed interest because I was suppressing myself.”

That doesn’t sound like him. “Why would you do that? You always jump at the chance to speak your mind.”

“Because you deserve better,” he answers immediately. “You’re… You’re you, Verena. Innocent. Being caught up with a man like me only leads to trouble, as you’ve found out. I can’t let that happen to you again.”

He’s right. It is dangerous. But it has also been liberating. We’ve both lost people. We’ve both waded through battles. 

“Thomas, if you know me at all then you know I don’t care about taking chances. I mean, I decided to stay in Birmingham, didn’t I? I could have ran back to Brooklyn with my tail between my legs.” I push aside my conflicted feelings and step closer. “But I wanted more out of life than starting out as just a simple housewife. Working with the Peaky Blinders, working with you, has given me the biggest adventure of my life.”

He doesn’t know how to respond. I’m sure not many have shown gratitude for this. But there is another loose end I need to pull.

“If you don’t think I should be caught up with someone like you then why did you chase me here?”

Thomas presses his lips together and goes to lean his head against the wall, both hands holding him up. “I can’t forget you, love. No matter how hard I try, the thought of letting you go without a fight is something I can’t suppress any longer. I... love you.”

So we’ve been playing the same game. “We’re both at a standstill, then."

I hear him hum against the wall. “Could I at least talk to your father and get him to consider arranging your marriage with me instead?”

Praise the Lord. Did he just…? Is that a proposal?

My lips curl into a delicate smile. “You haven’t even asked me.”

“You’re right. How inconsiderate of me.” 

Thomas steps back from the wall, now wearing a small glorified smile of his own, and walks right up to me. Our chests are nearly touching. Slowly, he sinks down to one knee, never letting his gaze fall. He looks beautiful like this. Blue-eyed, rugged, and covered with dirt.

“Verena.” He reaches for my small hand. “Verena, Verena. Before I lose you forever will you please do me the greatest honor of letting me be your husband?”

The oddly-phrased question makes me smirk teasingly. “Hm. Never heard it put that way before.”

“Please?!” He begs and leans into my dress’ fabric. “Don’t leave me. Not again.”

As I stand there looking down at him I can’t fight this blooming feeling of desire. “Are you sure-?”

���I’m absolutely fucking sure. I love you so much and if I see you with another man then my mind truly will be lost.” His eyes look up to me again. “Admit it. You want this too.”

“Thomas…” I murmur as a prayer, hoping God will hear me.

Should I risk this? Who's to say that the mystery man in Scotland can't do better? But all my heart can do is replay the pining for Thomas inside my head. 

“Do you still love me?" Thomas whispers. "With God as your witness please tell me you still love me.”

The question he asked before. Back when I thought my love would never be good enough for Thomas Shelby. Now he kneels before me, imploring for it. 

“I could never stop loving you, Thomas Shelby.”

“Then stay with me,” he asks, snaking his arms around my waist. “Let me keep you. The family loves you, Charlie adores you.”

In his eyes I see the same vulnerable look from the first night I comforted him. Back when opium was the only suppressant he trusted, and love was unheard of. He has become my adventure and I have become his peace of mind.

“I will stay.”

Thomas lets out a long-held sigh of relief. “You’ll stay.”

“I will marry you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. Thomas Shelby, I would love to be your wife. So, so much.” I bring my hands down to cup his face, running my thumbs over his stubble. “But you need to tell me this is exactly what you want because I’m never waiting around again. This is a done deal.”

“Yes, yes! I want you so much, love. I need you to keep me sane.”

I smile wider and lean down. “Alright. Then you need to promise me three things.”

He doesn’t blink. “Anything.”

“No cheating,” I demand firmly. “There will be no other women. I don’t care what the situation is. If you have any problems you need to work out then you come straight to me. Understand?”

Thomas’ smile drops and he looks up at me with a serious expression. “I promise. I promise, Verena. And if I ever am fucking daft enough to break that promise you can shoot me down in cold blood.”

I study him for any signs of uncertainty but there are none. “Thank you. I’ll remember that. My next request is that you won’t shadow me everywhere I go. I don’t need a bodyguard, Thomas.”

He hums and presses himself closer against me. “Can’t help it, love. You know what kind of business I get into.”

“That’s the last part.” I tap his head. “No more burning the candle at both ends. You need to set some time aside for Charlie and Duke. To be a vader.”

The gangster stands up and begins to get a naughty gleam in his eye, running his hands over my dress. “And what about setting time aside to please you?”

My breath catches but I fight to stay calm. “The kids come first. Charlie needs his vader, especially since he just lost his zuster.”

Thomas slinks closer and I feel him back me up against the dresser. “What if he needs another brother or sister?”

A child. As if my life hasn’t been filled with them. But the thought makes me giddy nonetheless.

“Another Shelby running around? Sounds dangerous.”

Thomas brings my arm up and starts trailing kisses down my pale skin. “You will make a wonderful mother, Verena.”

My face flushes and I swear each kiss he gives me makes my heart soar. “You sound awfully confident.”

“It’s like you said. Our warranties are about to expire.”

I gawk at him playfully. “Are you saying my biological clock is ticking? Still cocky as ever. Pun definitely intended.”

“God, I love you,” he sighs and buries his face in my braided hair. “You’re still not offended by me, eh?”

That’s odd. “How so?”

“Because others still say it’s dirty to mix with Gypsy blood.”

“This again?” I utter and run a hand over his neck. “Thomas, you could be half alien and I would still love you. Being a Gypsy gangster’s wife is not something I will be ashamed of. Do you know the dark deeds my Uncle Colon has done?”

Thomas grunts darkly. “‘M sure I don’t want to.”

“Marrying you is not the worst thing my familie has done. So do you promise not to cross familie with business?”

“I promise,” Thomas reassures and goes back to feeling a hand across my bodice. “Darling… I can’t wait to see you round with my child.”

God, those words are music to my ears. The wheels are already spinning in his head. He’s been wanting this just as much as I have! And yet I’m still held back on account of my faith and my familie’s wishes.

“We need to wait, Thomas,” I note sadly. “It needs to be official.”

He lets out a deep whine. “I’ve waited this long…”

“You can wait some more. I am not having a child out of wedlock.”

“So proper,” he jokes softly when I lead his hands away from me.

“Take it or leave it.”

Thomas rolls his eyes and leaves a kiss on my cheek. “I suppose my patience isn’t completely worn out. But the minute we’re alone after the ceremony I’m fucking you until you can’t walk for a week. I want to show you just how much you mean to me.”

The image of him laying in the tub flashes through my mind and I feel myself start to get excited. My body feels like it’s about to melt from all the romantic attention. My chest is wound tight and my face feels red hot. But it’s not from embarrassment. It’s from anticipation. 

I am his, and he is mine. Although that sounds like a marvelous statement I cannot help but think of how that image could look.

I swallow and regain a steady tone. “A thought just occurred… I- I don’t want people to assume I’m only marrying you for profit.” I bite my lip and keep my eyes focused on Thomas’ muddy shoes. “Like Gina.”

Thomas presses his lips together and leans down to look at me with profound admiration. “Fuck that bitch. Darling, you are nothing like her.”

“I know. But it’s people like her who give Americans a bad name. People will see me marrying you and assume I’m just another woman out for money.”

He runs a gentle hand over the scar on my cheek. “People don’t see you that way. If they do, I will correct them. You are a respected part of this family, Verena. Everyone will respect you even if I have to encourage it further.”

By “correct” and “encourage,” I think he means “force.” I would press against it but there’s something about the way he promises it that makes me believe Thomas will always protect me.

“How should we tell the others?” I ask softly.

“Simple. Tell ‘em we’re engaged.”

I tilt my head at him. “With no explanation?”

“Your father says you need a husband.” Thomas shrugs and smirks. “I’m your man.”

He leans in to kiss my cheek again and I look back at my veil. “Speaking of which, you better talk to vader before the sod I’m supposed to marry gets his hopes up.”

Reluctantly, we both pull away and go back to standing apart. I fuss with my dress and he retrieves his hat, as if the last ten minutes never happened. Did I dream it all-?

“I’ll be very convincing,” Thomas sasses as he strides back to the door.

I point a finger at him. “No killing.”

He reaches for the doorknob and stops. In the blink of an eye he paces back and wraps his strong arms around me, pressing us together. My body goes stiff but I think it’s because of nerves. No part of me wants to back away from this. No longer does my heart hurt from fear or rejection; instead I am confident and feel taken care of. When Thomas leans in and our noses touch my knees feel like they’re going to collapse.

“Soon you will be mine,” Thomas whispers, running a hand over by braids.

“I am yours, Thomas. Have been all these years.”

To say that kissing is meaningless is absolute nonsense. But when Thomas leans in and I can finally kiss him it’s not as grand as books make it out to be. There are no sparks, no butterflies. It feels… wet. It is certainly something I need to grow used to, not that I am being too critical. 

I’ve waited so long and, in this moment, the sensation of Thomas’ soft lips on mine and the feeling of his warm hands caressing me makes me feel more special than anyone else in the world. I am no doubt new to this but it’s no secret why every married couple I know treasures romantic affection. This is a love that has been growing for a long time.

@sherbitdibdab @meadows5

[littlepeakydevil]

Part 14: Everything

Summary: Lucy doubts her place in Tommy and Grace’s life in light of some new developments.

Word Count: 6,590

Warnings: Miscommunication, pregnancy, polyamory, angst, self esteem issues, infertility, and infidelity.

Notes: I would gently recommend reading at least the final chapter of Dance of Darkness before reading this, since it picks up pretty much directly after the events of that chapter.

Previous Part • Series • Next Part

The entire walk back to her apartment from the office, Tommy kept shooting her worried, nervous glances. Like he had finally caught onto her subdued, melancholic mood that had set in ever since their discussion in the car.

“Lucy…” he started to say, raising his hand as if to touch her, then dropping it. When she made no indication at having heard him, he sighed. “Can we please talk about this?”

She didn’t understand why he was so insistent that they needed to talk anymore about any of it. It was done, after all. There wasn’t much more they could accomplish by hashing it all out other than causing themselves more pain. “I really think that you should talk to Grace first,” was all she told him. Reaching into her pocket, she sighed. “I gave my key to Grace.”

From his pocket he pulled out a ring of brass keys, handing them to her. They clinked as she fumbled with them, finding the correct one and sliding it into the keyhole. Before she could turn it, Tommy’s hand rested on her shoulder, turning her to look at him.

“I didn’t…mean for this,” he said, eyes searching hers like he was looking for something.

“I know,” she nodded, looking down before she could get lost in the blue of his eyes. Or before she started to cry. The lock clicked when she turned the key, and then they were stepping into the apartment.

The lights were all on, Grace sitting at the table in the small kitchen, smoking and staring out the window. She had removed her hat and her coat, leaving her in just the flowy pink dress she’d worn to the races. Her head snapped around at the sound of the door opening, putting her cigarette down in the ashtray at the center of the table and standing.

Lucy watched as Tommy went to embrace her, his head dropping to rest against her neck, fingers delicately splaying out across her back. Grace put both of her arms around him, eyes fluttering shut in clear relief. Closing the door behind them, Lucy busied herself pulling off her hat and coat and hanging them up.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t meet you,” Tommy was saying to Grace.

“What happened?” she asked, pulling away to look at him. 

“I got…kidnapped,” he sighed. “It’s a long story.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he waved away her concerns, shrugging his coat off. Lucy traded places with him as he went to hang it up. 

“Lucy,” Grace said, voice cautious, taking a step towards her while her soft blue eyes darted between her and Tommy. “Did you tell her…?”

“Yes, he did,” Lucy cringed internally at how quiet her voice sounded. Forcing herself to smile, she hugged Grace. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Grace murmured.

“I’ll go make some tea, yeah?” pulling back, she didn’t really look at her as she sidestepped her to go into the kitchen. She swore that she could feel both Grace and Tommy’s eyes burning into her back. “You two have a lot to talk about.”

Behind her, she could vaguely hear the sound of Tommy steering Grace towards the couch in the sitting room, the soft hum of their voices as they started to talk. Lucy flexed her fingers, trying to stop the light trembling in her hands, or the lump building in her throat.

This was so much more horrible than she could have imagined it to be. 

The feeling of ostracization or exclusion was never something that she had responded particularly well to. Even as a child, whenever she felt that the other children were leaving her out, she would sit alone by herself and weep. Pouting and just generally feeling sorry for herself as she longed to be included.

But this was even worse than that, because before today, she had been included in Tommy and Grace’s relationship. It had been the three of them, together. She knew what it was she was losing. What she would be missing out on from now on.

Sniffing once, she forced herself to focus on pouring the hot water into two tea cups. If she thought about it all too much, she would start to cry.

Wiping at her face, she picked up the tea cups, carrying them to the sitting room where she set them down on the table in front of Tommy and Grace. They were both still looking at her with anxious eyes. Neither of them were heartless; she expected that they both knew that she was hurting. That they felt bad about it. Not that they should have. It wasn’t like either of them owed her anything. 

“I think that I have some things in the cupboard, if either of you are hungry…” she suggested, toying with her fingers. She needed something to do. To help keep her mind occupied enough to not be consumed by the aching in her heart. 

“Lucy, come sit down,” Tommy urged. He looked genuinely worried. Almost confused as he watched her from the couch. Gulping, she bit her lip, dread over what they might want to tell her building in her gut.

“I don’t–” she was cut off by the phone in the kitchen ringing, all their heads snapping around to look at where it sat in its cradle on a table. 

Wringing her hands together, Lucy went to it, lifting it with one pale hand and bringing it to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Lucy!” Arthur’s voice slurred from the other end. “I’m at the Garrison. We had a little party to celebrate,” he hiccupped. “The count in the register is short.”

She sighed, tilting her head up in exasperation, the hand not holding the phone resting on her hip. “Did you double check?”

“Yes, I bloody double checked! It’s short! I swear, when I find whoever it was…”

“Arthur, no,” she said sternly. “Just…wait there. I’ll be right over,” she hung up the phone with an annoyed sound. 

“What’s happened?” Tommy asked.

“Arthur can’t fucking count,” she rubbed a hand over her mouth, before going to grab her coat from the hook by the door. “He thinks that the cash in the register at the Garrison is short. He sounded drunk.”

“I’ll come with you–” he started to rise from his seat, and Lucy shook her head hastily.

“No need. Besides, you and Grace need to talk. I won’t be long,” she grabbed her key from where Grace had left it sitting on the kitchen table. 

“Lucy–” Grace started.

“I’ll be back soon,” she reiterated, swinging out the door and closing it behind her before either of them could say anymore. Almost instantly, she felt a wave of guilt over the way she’d so blatantly brushed them off and practically ran out the door. But it was finally a chance at the moment of solitude she had been searching for ever since Tommy had told her of Grace’s pregnancy. A chance to privately mourn and wallow in the agony of her heartbreak. 

It had all just happened so fast. One minute, it was all business as usual, her relationship with Tommy as stable as it had always been over the years they’d been together. And in the next, her two lovers were having a baby and starting to plan the next stages of their life together. Without her. 

Stuffing her hands into her pockets, she began the short walk towards the Garrison. She’d send Arthur home, work out what was going on with the register, have a good cry, and come back home. Maybe she would be lucky and they would have already gone to bed by the time she got back.

She didn’t know what she was going to do. She doubted Tommy would fire her. But she also wasn’t sure if she would be able to handle watching the two people she loved so much go off together while she was discarded. It would hurt too much. 

Arthur was fumbling with the register when she came in, jumping at the sound of the door.

“Let me see,” she said, not even bothering with a proper greeting. He stepped out of the way to let her look over the stacks of bills spread out on the bar. Gathering them up, she started to count. “You go ahead and go home.”

“No, no. I can stay. Help clean up,” he mumbled. Lucy sighed, wishing that he would just leave her alone, but didn’t say anything more.

“What’s got you so glum?” Arthur asked as he watched her count out the money.

“It’s just been a long day, Arthur,” she said. Setting the last of the bills down, she huffed. “The register is fine, Arthur.”

“No, no, no, no. I was sure that it…”

“Arthur, it’s fine. It’s not short,” she said sternly, putting the money away and grabbing a broom to sweep up the broken glass. Mumbling drunkenly to himself, Arthur tried to help, scooping up three dirtied glasses from the tables, then promptly tripping on his way over to the bar. He didn’t fall, but he did drop all three glasses to shatter on the floor.

“Arthur!” she snapped her jaw shut, trying to reign in her temper. Getting snappish with him wasn’t going to do much good except risk making him angry. “Arthur, just go home,” she said, lowering her voice. 

“Right. Yeah. Would probably go faster without me,” he muttered, dejected. Great. Now she felt bad. 

“I just need to be alone right now, okay?” she said. Arthur frowned.

“Why? You and Tom have a fight?”

She shook her head. “It’s just been a long day,” she repeated.

Arthur seemed to finally realize just how badly she wanted to be left alone, nodding as he grabbed up his coat. Still swaying on his feet, he hovered near her, looking like he was trying to figure out how to comfort her. Finally, he just patted her twice awkwardly on the shoulder, and headed for the door. She locked it behind him, picking back up the broom and starting to sweep.

Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest, the beginnings of a sniffle building in her nose as she finally was allowed to truly sit alone with her feelings for the first time since Tommy had told her about Grace’s pregnancy.

A small sob burst from her mouth, and then another, and another. Until she was practically clinging to the broom in an attempt to keep herself upright while she cried, vision blurry from her tears.

It was just so utterly, unbelievably unfair. And she couldn’t even really be mad about it. It wasn’t like Tommy had cheated on her. And he certainly hadn’t intended to get Grace pregnant. But it had happened, and now she was going to lose both of them. At least before, when they had thought they’d lost Grace forever to Clive and America, she had still had Tommy. Now, Grace and Tommy would have each other, but she would be all alone. 

She didn’t have anyone else but them. Not a single other person. The rest of her family was dead. Her mother had left with the caravans and never wanted to see her again. All the other Shelbys hated her. 

She didn’t have anywhere else to go.

Maybe May would take her in. Though she didn’t think she could bring herself to ask her to do that. Certainly not after everything she and Tommy had just put her through.

Still crying, she continued to sweep the floor of the pub, gathering the broken glass and dirt into a dustpan she dumped in the garbage before setting the broom aside so she could begin to clear and wipe down the tables before stacking the chairs on top of them. Only taking breaks to wipe at her eyes or nose with the back of her hand. Going behind the bar to finish putting everything away, she then pressed her hands flat against the smooth surface of the bar, and stared straight ahead. Her bottom lip trembled. 

She had cut Tommy off before he could say much more in the car on the way home because she couldn’t handle having to actually hear him break up with her. They both knew that what they had was now over. There was no point dragging it out and making it even more painful for either of them. And she wasn’t about to pitch a fit over it or beg him and Grace to keep her around. They had a shot at something wonderful together. She wasn’t about to mess that up for either of them by trying to interject herself where she was no longer wanted.  

When she closed her eyes she could already see it: Tommy and Grace in a brand new, great big house. Tommy grinning as he scooped his child up into his arms, Grace beaming as she watched them. All of them happy beyond belief.

She wondered if it made her awful; how a seed of bitterness bloomed in her chest at the image, despite how deeply she loved them, how badly she just wanted them both to be happy. But the reality that it would be without her was agonizing.

Maybe this was some sort of punishment from the universe. For her stupid, selfish decision never to tell either of them about her infertility. She had lied to Tommy through omission for years about the fact that she could not have children. And at the end of the day, it was Grace getting pregnant with his child that drove the nails into the coffin of their relationship. In a way, it was twistedly poetic, she supposed.

Face crumbling, she crossed her arms on the bar in front of her, laid her head down on them, and once again began to cry.  

∗ ∗ ∗ 

“Is she okay?” Grace asked, still staring at the door that Lucy had just rushed out of. Tommy rubbed a hand down his face, frowning.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. Lucy had been…weird since their discussion in the car on the way back to Birmingham. If it could even be considered a conversation. She would barely speak to him. Seemed hardly willing to even look at him.

“Is she…is she upset about the baby?” Grace looked down at her hands. He eyed the glittering wedding bands on her left hand disdainfully.  

“I’m not sure,” he sighed. The seed of dread over what Grace’s pregnancy meant for his relationship with Lucy had only grown in the few hours since he’d told her. For a moment, there in the car, he had thought that when she told him not to worry about it that she meant they were fine. He had begun to allow himself to hope, just a little, that this wouldn’t be the end of their relationship. That they would be able to work something out.

But maybe he’d been wrong.

“We never really talked about children,” he admitted. Grace raised her eyebrows.

“Really? At at all?”

Blowing out a stream of smoke from his lips after taking a drag from his cigarette, he shook his head. “We had a small scare, when we first started seeing each other, but…after that it just never came up.”

“Oh,” Grace looked away again, worrying at her lower lip. Reaching over to her, he carefully brushed his fingertips along the back of one of her hands. Throat suddenly dry, he swallowed roughly

“What do you want to do?” 

“I–I want to keep it,” Grace said surely. Tommy nodded. He had figured as much already.

“Alright.”

Her lips parted to say more, then pressed closed again. “Tommy…” she hesitated. He braced himself for her to tell him the worst: that she was going to stay with her husband. That she wanted to raise the baby with him instead. Sail away. And he would never see her again. 

Reaching across the couch, she folded her warm hand over his, squeezing around his knuckles, scooting closer to him.

“What do you want to do?”

He squeezed his eyes shut. Unsure if he could take the rejection he was almost certain was coming. When he opened them, she was looking at him imperatively.

“I want you to leave your husband,” he told her. 

She didn’t seem surprised at the request, looking at him with those shrewd blue eyes. One side of her lips quirked upwards, the faint beginnings of a dimple forming in her cheek. “Okay.”

He reached out to her, hand brushing along her shoulder before curling around it. His lungs exhaled a relieved breath he hadn’t even known he was holding. Grace let him pull her in closer to him, sighing as he hooked one finger under her chin and angled her head up enough so that he could kiss her.

“And I want you to marry me instead,” he whispered against her lips between kisses. Grace smiled widely, leaning back enough to smile at him cheekily.

“Are you proposing to me, Mr. Shelby?”

“Yes,” he said, unable to fight back his own smile. “Yes, I believe I am.”

Grace hummed delightedly, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her forehead to his. “Then I accept.”

He kissed her deeply, hands holding to her waist as his mouth parted against hers, eyes closed as he allowed himself to get lost in the warmth of her. The smell of her perfume and the softness of her dress and skin under his hands.

“Once I’ve got an actual ring, I’ll ask you again properly,” he promised. Grace chuckled.

“As if we’ve ever done things properly,” she continued to stroke his face, their foreheads resting against each other’s. “I’ll go back tomorrow to talk to Clive.”

“Will you tell him the truth?”

“Yes, I think I will,” she fumbled with her wedding bands, staring down at them. “He deserves that much.”

“Alright,” he supposed that he would just have to trust her on that. Another thought occurred to him, chest seizing with it. “But Grace…I can’t leave Lucy. I won’t leave Lucy,” he was aware that it was terribly hypocritical, considering that he’d just asked her to leave her husband for him. But the situation wasn’t exactly the same when it came to Lucy, either.

Grace shot him an incredulous look. As if the thought hadn’t even occurred to her. “Tommy, I love you both. I want her around as much as you do.”

He let out a breath of relief, nodding “Okay. Good,” clearing his throat, he moved closer to her, until his arm was around her shoulders, her head tucked into his chest. “Thank you,” tentatively, he reached out with the other hand, and rested his palm on her stomach. Grace sighed, fingers falling to rest over his. 

“We’re having a baby, Tommy,” she said it with such contagious joy that he couldn’t help but smile, thumb stroking over her belly.

“Yeah,” turning his head, he kissed her temple. The way that she rested against him made his heart flutter, eyes closing contentedly. But then he opened them, and his gaze landed on the little wooden carving of a horse sitting on a bookshelf in the corner. Something that Lucy had whittled at some point in her free time. He frowned, the lack of her presence gaping and obvious. Tommy wanted her to be involved in any decisions that he and Grace made. And he needed to know what was bothering her. What he could do in order to help fix it.

“When do you think Lucy will be back?” Grace asked, as if she were thinking the same exact thing that he was.

“I don’t know. Not too long, I would expect.”

“What did she say when you told her?”

“Not much,” he sighed. “She just told me not to worry about it. That you and I would be fine. I thought that she meant that she was okay with it.” 

“Tommy, if she really doesn’t want this baby…”

“I don’t know if that’s it, Grace,” he tried to assure, even as he shot a nervous glance at the door Lucy had disappeared out of. “She might just be tired,” he offered, trying to be optimistic for both their sakes. “It was a rough day.”

“Mm,” Grace just hummed, clearly still anxious about it. Tommy rubbed a hand along her arm soothingly. “Do you think…that maybe she feels left out?”

His brows pinched. He supposed it was possible, even though he had never really thought of Lucy as the jealous type. She had always seemed so unbothered when it came to him and other women. It hadn’t really occurred to him that she might feel excluded by this new development between him and Grace. That she might expect them to reject her in favor of something more traditional and conventional. 

“I don’t know. Maybe,” he hadn’t thought that he’d given the impression that the baby or the impending marriage to Grace would exclude her from his life. But maybe she just needed reassurance. 

Of course, there was always the possibility that a baby was simply something that Lucy didn’t want. That had never been the impression he’d gotten from her, but perhaps he’d read her wrong. Maybe the baby really was a deal breaker for her. Or perhaps the idea of being his and Grace’s concubine did not appeal to her. Maybe she would still feel too much like the odd one out. That if he and Grace were married, with their child, the feeling of exclusion, of not being as important, would eat away at her.

That was all ridiculous, of course. She would never be less important or purposefully excluded. Certainly not because of rings and a slip of paper. And he wanted her to be just as involved as he and Grace were in the baby’s upbringing. If that was what she wanted. 

It would be unimaginatively painful to have to let her go. It was unlikely he would ever fully recover from it. But he wouldn’t force her to stay with him, if that wasn’t what she wanted anymore. 

Swallowing the lump that formed in his throat at the suggestion, he pushed the thought to the back of his mind.

“Well, did she seem alright when you asked her about proposing to me?”

Tommy blinked. “She didn’t say much at all when I mentioned it.”

Grace craned her head up towards him, eyes narrowed. “When you mentioned it?”

“Well–” 

“You didn’t ask her!?”

“I–”

“Thomas Michael Shelby!” she seized up one of the pillows and aimed a light smack at him with it. 

“Oi!” arms raising up on instinct to protect his head, he let out a surprised sound.

“Well, no wonder if she feels left out!” Grace huffed, tossing the pillow aside.

“Lucy’s never wanted to get married,” he tried to defend. 

“That doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t have liked to be bloody asked if she was okay with it before her lover proposes to someone else. Jesus Christ,” she settled back down onto the couch. “So she knows that you were planning to propose to me, without you even really discussing it with her?”

“Erm, technically I would say–” he cut himself off at the look Grace gave him. “Yeah, I suppose that’s about right.”

“Men,” Grace huffed, shaking her head. 

“I really didn’t think that it would bother her…” he started to say, even as his mind turned over the fact that yeah, it probably did look pretty bad and exclusionary from Lucy’s perspective. He sighed. Shit. “I’ll talk to her.”

“Mhm,” Grace made a noise, but her expression was more fondly exasperated than genuinely annoyed. And she curled back up against his side with her head leaning against his shoulder, so she couldn’t have been that put out with him. Wrapping his arm around her, he kissed the top of her head.     

“We’re going to need a bigger house for the four of us.”

“And for any other children,” Grace added. When he looked at her with an intrigued raised eyebrow, she shrugged coyly, eyes sparkling. “If you and Lucy ever were to decide to have some together, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“Mm,” he hummed at the idea, tilting his head down to kiss her gently again. Grace cupped the side of his face with her hand, resting her forehead against his when they parted.

“I wish that she was here,” she said wistfully. Tommy swallowed hard.

“Me too.” 

He noted the way that she very briefly lifted her hand to press her fingertips against her temple, as if she had a headache. 

“How are you feeling?”

“A little nauseous in the morning. But not too bad. Sometimes I get these little shots of pain in my temples, but it always passes,” she cut herself off with a small yawn that she tried to hide behind her palm. 

“Come on,” Tommy stood up, holding out a hand to her. “You should get some rest.”

She must have been more tired than she was letting on, because she took his hand with minimal complaint, letting him lead her into the bedroom. 

“Washroom is in there,” he pointed to the little door. “And, uh, feel free to go through the dresser and see if any of Lucy’s nightgowns might fit you. If not, I have some spare shirts in there. You can wear any of those.”

“Thank you,” she nodded, going into the washroom and closing the door. Heaving out a breath, Tommy ran a hand down his face, before going back into the sitting room and tidying, shooting periodic glances at the door. 

He was half tempted to try calling the Garrison and find out what was taking so bloody long, but he forced himself to wait. For all he knew, Lucy could be on her way back already.

Noises from the bedroom caught his attention, and he headed back in to find Grace sliding underneath the blankets and into the bed while clad in only his shirt. The possessive part of him purred in approval at the sight.

“You’re sure this is alright?” she asked, even as her golden hair settled on the pillow.

“Yes, love, I’m sure.”

Nodding, she yawned again, settling into the mattress comfortably.

“Lucy isn’t back yet.”

“No, she isn’t,” a fact that was only increasing the worry that had been building in his mind. “I’ll wait up for her,” he sat down on the other side of the bed, resting his palm on Grace’s leg. “You get some rest.” 

Nodding, her eyes were already half shut as she snuggled deeper into the bed. “I love you, Tommy.”

He gulped around the lump that formed in his throat when she said it. “I love you too, Grace.”

Her eyes opened wide at the words, lips curling into a smile that dimpled her cheek before she was closing them again, relaxing into the bed. Tommy remained watching over her in the dim light of the bedroom, very lightly stroking the back of his hand along her cheek and over her hair before pulling it away. 

∗ ∗ ∗ 

Wiping at her eyes, she then splashed cold water onto her face from the Garrison’s washroom, checking herself over one last time to make sure it wasn’t obvious that she’d been crying. Nodding to herself and taking a deep breath, Lucy shut off the lights, locking the door behind her before beginning the walk home. 

When she entered the apartment, a light was still on in the sitting room, but it was vacant. The bedroom door was closed. So they��d already gone to bed, then.

Hanging up her coat and hat, she opened the little linen closet, pulling out some of the spare blankets she kept there, coughing lightly into her fist as she did.

To her left, there was the sound of the bedroom door opening and closing, and then the very light creak of the floorboards under Tommy’s feet. She glanced only for a brief, tiny moment at him. He had stripped down to his soft white undershirt, still in his slacks, though his shoes were off.

“You didn’t have to wait up for me,” she said, not looking at him as she gathered the blankets into her arms.

“I wouldn’t have been able to sleep until I knew you were home alright,” his head tilted, brows pulling together as he watched her begin to haul the blankets over to the couch. “What took so long?”   

“The register was fine, Arthur was just so smashed he couldn’t do simple addition. The place was a mess, though. And when he tried to help me clean up, he broke three glasses simultaneously. So I just sent him home and cleaned and locked everything up on my own.”

“You should’ve called me.”

She shrugged, dumping the blankets onto the couch and going back to close the closet door. “You were busy,” returning to the couch, she began to rearrange the pillows. “What did you and Grace decide?”

“She’s going to leave Clive.”

“Mm. See? I told you that you two would be fine.” 

“She’s sleeping, now.”

“I imagine she’s exhausted.”

“Yes,” his lips parted, frown deepening as he watched her spread the blankets over the couch. “What are you doing that for?”

She looked up in surprise at the question. Wasn’t it obvious? “Well, I figured you and Grace would take the bed, so…” 

Tommy cocked his head. “And what, you’re just going to sleep on the couch?”

She stuttered, not quite sure why he was asking her. Unless…would they prefer it if she went to a hotel or something instead? “That was the idea, yes.”

“Why?”

Blinking hard, Lucy felt her cheeks heat, staring at him a little in disbelief that he was actually going to make her say it. “Well…I mean, this is over, isn’t it?”

Tommy’s eyes widened, the furrow in his brows only deepening. “But I…but I thought…” had it been under other circumstances, she might have been amused at the rare sight of Tommy Shelby stuttering. “You told me not to worry about it,” he said finally. “In the car on the way back.”   

Lucy frowned, confused as to what he meant. “Well, I figured that I would just spare us both the pain of you having to break up with me,” she explained. Tommy’s eyes grew wide as saucers.

“You thought that I was breaking up with you!?” his voice rose, she suspected unintentionally.

“I-I,” she stammered, now fully confused herself. “I assumed that since you and Grace are having a baby together and planning on getting married that you wouldn’t–” her voice broke, and she had to swallow hard and try again. “That neither of you would want–” her voice caught embarrassingly on the last word with the beginnings of a sob. Unable to look at him, she turned away, practically crumbling in on herself. On top of the heartbreak, frustration at being unable to stop herself from crying began to build, which in turn only seemed to make her cry harder.

“Lucy.”

She jumped when his hands landed on her back and shoulders, whimpering as he turned her around and folded her into his arms. 

“Shh,” he rubbed her back, guiding her to sit down on the couch, practically pulling her into his lap, tucking her face into his neck while he stroked her hair. And despite her better judgment, she clung to him, practically burrowing against him. Because, despite everything, Tommy still was her safe place, where she could always go for comfort. 

“You thought that we wouldn’t want you anymore?” he asked. Shuddering, she leaned back and away from him, scrubbing desperately at her eyes, cheeks flushed from her tears and embarrassment. And though she tried to turn away the hands he had anchored on her back didn’t let her get far, holding her tight to him.   

“You’re going to go start your real family now, Tom.” 

“The bloody hell are you talking about?” he looked almost offended, and Lucy looked down, shrugging. One of his hands cupped her face, forcing her to look up at him. “Hey, hey, look at me. This doesn’t…this doesn’t have to change anything, Luce.”

She scoffed bitterly. “Doesn’t it?”

“Of course not. Why would it?” he wetted his lips, the beginnings of an ember of franticness entering his eyes. “We want you with us,” his thumb stroked his cheek, gathering up and wiping away the tears there. “We love you.”

She shuddered with another sob, eyes squeezing shut at the words. “You said that you plan to marry her.”

“So? We can figure all that out. It doesn’t mean that the three of us can’t be together,” his grip on her tightened. “What matters is that we’re all together,” leaning forward, he rested his forehead on hers. “You’re everything to me. You and Grace,” he said firmly, keeping his eyes steady and stern on hers. “Everything.”

Her hands fell to cover his where they had cradled each side of her face. Still sniffling even though her tears had mostly ceased. She wanted more than anything to believe him. 

“So…what? You and Grace get married, she has the baby, you get a house…” 

“And you come live with us.”

Her brows flew upwards at such a brazen suggestion. “I think people will catch onto that, Tommy.”

“Fuck other people,” he shook his head. “I don’t care what other people say, so long as you’re with us. If anyone gets suspicious, we’ll tell them that I need my assistant close for days that I’m working late.”

“That’s a terrible excuse,” but she couldn’t hold back the small trill of amusement in her voice at the suggestion, and she allowed her head to lean more heavily against his palms, his thumbs stroking away what little remained of her tears.

But maybe it really could work. Everyone was so scared of Tommy anyway, they probably wouldn’t risk saying anything for fear of losing their eyes.

“Unless…” an unsurety had entered Tommy’s face. “That isn’t what you want,” when she truly looked at him, she was startled at the sudden wave of something that might have been fearfulness that had crossed over his features. His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed roughly. 

“Tommy, the last thing I want is to lose either of you,” she whispered. One of the hands he’d had cradling her face fell to rest on her waist, pulling her closer until his nose nuzzled against hers before he kissed her. “You really think it’ll work?” she asked when he pulled back.

“I’ll make it work,” he promised, eyes lowered as he brushed his face affectionately along the length of her neck.

“And Grace is okay with it?”

“‘Course she is. She loves you as much as I do,” his lips ghosted over her shoulder before he wrapped both arms around her waist, hugging her to him as he rested his cheek against her shoulder. “I’m sorry. When we talked in the car, I thought that you were okay.”

Lucy closed her eyes, feeling her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “I shouldn’t have just…assumed that…” trailing off, she bit her lip. “I’m sorry too.”

When she opened her eyes, Tommy was looking up at her softly. “This is what we get for not talking to each other clearly, eh?” he tilted his head to kiss the hollow of her throat. “It’s okay,” he sighed blissfully as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, carefully running her fingers through his soft hair. “I was worried that the baby was a problem.”

“No,” she said quickly. “It’s not.”

“This child is as much yours as it is mine and Grace’s,” he said firmly. Her bottom lip wobbled violently at that, body going stiff. He could not have known just how much that actually meant to her. “I mean…” he gave her a crooked smile. “You were there when we made it, so…”

A laugh hiccuped from her lungs, head dipping as she giggled towards the floor with it. Tommy lifted his head from where he had rested it against her, though his arms stayed around her.

“And if you don’t want me and Grace to get married, we won’t. We’ll figure something else out.”  

“You know that I’ve never been interested in marriage,” she said. “It makes sense for you to marry her.”

“It would mainly be for appearances. And to legitimize the baby. You wouldn’t be excluded.”

“I know,” she nodded, leaning her head against his chest.

“I should have asked you how you felt about it before. I shouldn’t have just assumed…”

“It’s alright.”     

“If it makes you feel any better, Grace just about had my balls when she realized I hadn’t properly spoken to you about it.”

A small laugh left her lips. “Really?”

“Just about beat me over the head with one of the pillows.”

The mental image of Grace descending furiously upon Tommy with one of the pillows on the couch made her giggle. Exhaustion, from just the events of the day and the high emotional state she’d been in for a good part of it, had begun to settle in, leaving her to lean heavily against Tommy as he rubbed soothing circles into her back. 

“You tired?” he asked as he smoothed his hand over the back of her head. She hummed, nodding as she closed her eyes and he chuckled. “Let’s get you to bed then, hm?”

“Okay,” she let him coax her to her feet and shepherd her to the bedroom. Grace was curled up under the blankets in the bed, her eyes closed, face half hidden in a pillow. Pulling open one of the drawers in her dresser carefully so that it didn’t squeak and wake her up, Lucy set to work changing out of her clothes and into one of her nightgowns. Behind her, she could hear quiet rustling as Tommy shed his slacks and shirt. As she was just finishing pulling the red nightgown over her head and adjusting the way that it laid on her, he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her shoulder.

Humming, Lucy closed her eyes, leaning back into him for a moment before letting him take her hand and guide her over to the bed. At some point Grace had opened her eyes, watching them softly, lips pulled up into a small smile. Tommy climbed in so that he was in the middle, Grace cuddling up against his side while he pulled Lucy in to lay half on his chest. Leaning over him, she pecked Grace on the lips. 

“Hi.”

Grace beamed at her, reaching across Tommy’s chest so that she was embracing them both. “Hi.” 

He wrapped his arms around both of them. Grace's eyes began to flutter closed again, while Lucy half hid her face against Tommy’s pectoral. Warm and comfortable. He gave them both a small squeeze.  

“I love you,” Lucy told them, voice seeming louder than it actually was in the darkness of the room. 

“We love you too,” Tommy said.

“Love you too,” Grace mumbled at the same time, already half asleep. Lucy shared an affectionately amused look with Tommy before she let her eyes fall closed. She couldn’t remember the last time that she had felt so comfortable or at peace. It was okay. They loved her; she wasn’t going to lose them. All three of them were together. Finally. 

She was asleep within a matter of minutes.

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Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!

[heeahheeya]

I found Lizzie hiding behind the whole people in the Tommy x Grace wedding photo. People of Tommy's side smile, or seem to be happy. Only Lizzie has dark face without smile.

[thesoldiersminute]

Peaky Blinders Tommy x Grace + face touches /requested by @tommyxgrace-always

[nat111love]

PEAKY BLINDERS

↳...So not until the morning then? ...Yes, I’d say I’ll be here till morning.

[tommygrace]

He always wanted her close to him.

[mary-fantg]

I love the way Grace always touches his face 🥰 I wonder if this is the author's idea or did Annabelle come up with this "feature" herself? I've read that in the language of touch, this means the desire to express love nonverbally ❤

[lethargicmouse]

the biggest tragedy of pb was Annabelle Wallace’s nose job

like if it was a medical issue ok but like her nose was so pretty, it made her face interesting.

maybe that’s why I like Lizzie so much lol, Natasha’s face is so beautiful with her bird-like features