#comment rb

[eupheme]

you are too kind, thank you so much!! 💖💖

— in the soft light of morning

joel miller x f!reader

rated e - 1.7k

tags: soft and needy jackson!joel pov, possessive!joel, just the tip, piv, established relationship, light somno elements, thigh fucking, masturbation, come marking

a/n: one shot but can be read as a part of these fics

In the morning hours like this, the promise of spring slipping through the cracks of the curtains, it’s enough to almost make him forget.

Tucking away everything he’s done, forcing it back down his throat and locking it away.

Here, he’s just a man.

Joel wakes warm.

His eyes half-lidded, already alert. Ears pricked to the creak of the house, the old clock that ticks each early-morning second by.

Still not used to this.

Even as the years pass, he still wakes throughout the night. Muscles bunching and teeth bared against the tap-tapping of a bare branch against the roof. The high whistle of the wind, rattling glass.

The knot in his chest gradually easing - as it has been, lately. When he feels the way you’re tucked against his chest. Body curled against his, legs entwined.

It’s only then, does he breathe. Let every inch of his body sink back against the threadbare sheets. Tipping his nose until it can tuck against your hair, quietly inhaling. Soaking in the scent of you. Of home.

Holding, exhaling, as he tugs you back against him.

Needs to get up soon.

That internal alarm clock kicking in, from those days so long ago. Never had to get used to a routine until recently, but it’s like his mind never forgot.

Skipping over those years of taking what nature gave him. Rain and the sting of wind and too-warm summer days. Sweating through the single shirt he had on work detail, stuck between four walls at the QZ.

A much different kind of wall surrounds him now. Solid wood, built strong. In the morning hours like this, the promise of spring slipping through the cracks of the curtains, it’s enough to almost make him forget.

Tucking away everything he’s done, forcing it back down his throat and locking it away.

Here, he’s just a man.

Molding himself to your form. Slipping back before the grown-long hair flecked with silver. A moment’s ease from the aching joints and that pain he carries beneath his ribs. It’s never forgotten, never will be.

But with his eyes closed, he just - exists. Instinct and muscle memory moving his hips, a low groan as the morning-hard jut of his cock grinds against the soft curve of your ass.

The shiver that runs up your spine when his lips press against the base of your neck. A hand curling around, splaying flat across your stomach.

It still feels strange, not to rush.

Feels wrong, like he’s spent too much time waking with his hand wrapped around a knife. Like he doesn’t deserve this respite, the safety of the thick gate around Jackson and something that almost feels like a family.

There’s a throb in his chest. He erases it with the press of his mouth against your throat. Another rut of his hips, smearing your skin with his need and the remains of a dream that he’s sure was about you.

Your soft hum shoots straight down to his cock. Thighs parting until he can tuck the stiff length between them, his breath hot against your ear as he grinds himself against your slit.

A hand covers his, dragging it up. Cupping the curve of your breast with his calloused palm, encouraging him to squeeze.

The shift of your hips is slow and lazy. He’s being selfish - Joel was the one who agreed to meet Tommy early. Fix that leak in the mess hall before the storm blew in, not you.

But he can’t help it. Never could.

Once he got that taste of you, he was helpless - fingers itching to take what was his. To dent soft flesh as he pins you under him.

On top. Bent over - anything and everything he could get.

Gone already, when he feels the way he fits against your folds. Parting you, the head catching against your slick pussy. His fingers pinch at your nipples, as his teeth scrape against the curve where your neck meets shoulder.

“Baby.” You husk, voice thick with sleep. A little jolt of your hips as you try to match his pace, movements molasses-slow.

He grunts as he smears the dampness against your skin. Fingers drifting down to touch the tip of his cock that juts between your thighs, then up to rub at your clit.

Your moan pitches longer, lower. He fucks your thighs slowly, an arm shoved beneath your waist, holding you against him.

The other pressing and circling.

“I know,” He rasps, “Can’t help it, darlin’. Just needed to feel you.”

Content with this, until he’s not. Until it’s torture - this slow, slick slide. Warm and wet but not nearly enough, not when he knows how it feels to stuff you full of him.

It’s enough that he’s nudging you beneath him.

Leaving you blinking up at him, as your legs spread to make room. A hand wrapped around a heavy cock, the other curving at your hip to pin you against the bed.

“Just a little more, alright?” It rips from him.

Angling the tip to nudge at your opening. The slightest press before he eases back, blown-dark eyes dragging up to meet yours.

Watching for your moan. The little nod of your head, as your eyes snag on his mouth. Drifting down - across his chest, the whorls of hair and the curve of his stomach.

Snapping back up, as he sinks into you. His own caught on the little pinch of your brow. The gasp that loosens, as you stretch around him.

Shallow in the way he eases just the head inside. The slightest flex of his hips.

Doesn’t have a lot of time, but this is enough, too.

A taste of what he’ll give you, later. Unable to work you open the way he wants to - with three thick fingers and the flick of his tongue - enough for you to take every inch.

Knows you could. Knows you have - frantic fumbling on patrol, quick fucks in a house that stinks of rotten wood and mold. Dirt worked into the knees of your denim jeans, tell-tale scrapes against the floorboards.

But he’s slowed, in the years that have passed. Softened oh so slightly, at the edges. Given up some of his other vices, leaving him to crave others.

Crave this.

It’s enough that a rumble slips in his chest when he feels you clenching around the tip, as if reading his mind.

“Yes,” You breathe, a hand at your chest. The other drifting down - slipping over slick skin. Touching yourself as he did, as he matches the pace you set.

His hand sliding over his shaft. Two fingers and a thumb working - watching as your hips swivel, easing him just that little bit deeper.

Not too much. Still holding himself back. Just needs to feel your warmth around him. The heartbeat of your pulse and the way your knuckles brush against his.

Watching you work yourself higher and higher. Hushed and panting breath as he gives you something to clench around, as the wire inside winds tighter and tighter.

Groaning as your thighs spread wider, head tipping back. Eyes fixed on the way you take him, that slick slide that leaves his shaft glossy only for his fingers to pass over it a minute later.

Your soft exclamation becomes a babble, the hushed “oh my god” stringing together - fingers pressing harder.

Time has loosened his tongue as well, filth pouring from it like it used to - a lifetime ago.

“Come on, sweetheart.” His hips rock to meet yours, “Wanna feel you come on this cock.”

The whine that rips from you is near feral, sleep long forgotten. Your body pulling tight as he thumbs you open, holding himself still inside you.

“Need this, don’t you?”

As if he doesn’t. His heart thundering as he watches as you fall apart - the pulsing flutter of your cunt as your knees close around his hips. A hand scraping down to wrap around the one at your waist, nails digging into his skin.

The sharp sting only has him moving - drawing out the waves of pleasure. A rough noise at the way you drip now, each plunge loud and slick, in the quiet room.

He should be careful. Shouldn’t chase this feeling, the urge to sink his teeth into your shoulder and bury himself deep inside you.

Something loosened, seeing Tommy hold that little bundle. Cracking open, when it was passed to him, held in arms that still cradled instinctually.

An exhaled breath. A silent stirring.

A fantasy.

One he rips himself out of now, as his eyes find yours. Dragging across your face - the way they darken for him as you come down from your high. Soaking in his bare skin. The curls across his forehead - loosened from your fingers the night before. The need written so plainly across his face.

Looking at him like he’s yours, and maybe, if nothing else, that was enough.

More than he deserved. Everything he wanted.

There’s the pinch of teeth against your lower lip as you bite back the very thing he’s trying to resist. Eyes that roll shut, even though there’s so much of him left cradled in the wide palm of his hand.

A little nod, his name gasped out in a rush of breath. Pleading.

Permission to give in, to let himself get swept away in the building, rushing current.

He inches deeper, feeling you clench around him. A sound caught in his chest as his hips flex faster, the shallow thrusts turning sloppy.

Winding, building, breaking.

“Fuck-”

Joel yanks himself from your warmth, just as the pressure peaks. Throbbing as his fist works faster, smearing your slick across the tip. Pitching forward to spill against your stomach.

It arcs up towards your tits with his need, following the path his hand had taken. Painting your curves.

Too early in the morning for words, but he manages a heady moan - a semblance of something sweet as the sound stretches out, pleasure ricocheting through his system.

Relief flooding through, as he empties himself thoroughly against your skin.

Head dipping between his shoulders, as the tension eases. Cupping the heft of his sack, squeezing. Already missing your warmth.

Already greedy - his eyes flicking towards the space that’s empty without his cock. Thumb dragging through his mess, smearing his release against the swollen bud of your clit.

Your lips part with a huffed laugh - hand shooting out to wrap around his wrist.

“Joel.” You sigh. Almost an admonishment, if not for the way you push yourself up.

Sensitive. He knows.

Eyes closing as your lips pressing against his palm. The meat of his thumb, just before your tongue flicks across the pad. Leaning into the way your hand layers to cup his - fingers curling around ones stained with so much red.

And as the day begins, in the soft light of morning-

Joel finds himself smiling, too.

the trailer and new photos really kicked my ass into gear 💖 I’ve missed writing for him!!

[maybege]

I need you to know updating the dads friend!boba Fett x reader highlighted my day. That made me so goddamn happy lol. And it was GOOD

Oh, anon, my love, and I need you to know that your message made my entire day ever since I got it!! I’m so happy you liked the piece, I’m always worried that if I follow up on something that it’ll never be as good or as satisfying to read as the first part 💀 so heading that you enjoyed it just has me 🥹🥹🥹 Thank you!!!

[toxicanonymity]

toxic! the latest chapter of raider joel is 👨‍🍳💋

ur writing is amazing and so complex! ur so talented!

this kiss?!?!?!? and basically making love to her like WOW!!!!! I had tears 🥹

was so good to see the two pov's as well

(ive never really been into the collar idea but im keeping an open mind cos you know.. it's for our own good) 😭😭😭

x

Thank you so much! 🥹🙏🖤

( it's, like, basically a leather choker 😅 📿 )

[rebelfell]

HI CAN I TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU?? This is everything! I’ve been reading it over and over again! I love seeing what parts jump out at people—it’s quite literally my life’s blood 🥲

“Wet, pathetic, super loving boy who just wants friends and to be loved” is 🤌🏻 and yyyeeeexactly what lives at the core of every Steve I write.

You pinned Eddie down for sure, he isn’t remotely as mean as he acts. And he’s wing-manning, but in like a chaotic way 🤣 I also read it back a bit like, “damn…does Eddie like Steve a little??”

Anyway, you gave me SO MUCH to think about; I’m vibrating to see how you like the next part!

bells will be ringing

crush!steve harrington x fem!reader x fwb!eddie munson

The annual Harrington Christmas Party is an elegant affair, complete with decorations, fancy food and flowing libations. But when your friend-slash-fuck buddy Eddie tires of you and Steve dancing around your burgeoning feelings for one another…he offers a creative solution.

Part One│Part Two

18+, MDNI 8k

cw: MMF, allusions to poverty and implied family strife, light alcohol and weed use, kinda mean/crass Eddie, semi-public fingering/oral (f receiving), r’s hair gets pulled once.

The Harrington’s were white light people.

There wasn’t a single inch of their stately home not adorned in festive finery for their annual Christmas party. It was all silver candlesticks with cream-colored tapers, deep red ribbons tied into bows and hung at perfectly spaced intervals, long garlands of rich greenery draped along the banisters—real as shit and smelling like a goddamn pine forest.

It was a far cry from what you and Eddie knew growing up next door to one another way on the other side of town. For you two, it was scrawny and half-dead trees purchased at a discount as close to Christmas as possible when their vendors were just trying to unload them, covered in a hodgepodge of homemade ornaments and faded multicolored lights, only about half of which worked half the time. When your families could afford a tree, that was.

The Harringtons’ own stood at the far end of the house, glowing bright as a nuclear reactor with seemingly endless strands of bright white lights wound around its branches. It was methodically decorated with matching red, silver and gold baubles, each one hung precisely in place and polished to gleaming perfection. 

Elegant. Proper. Pristine.

The party was already well underway by the time you arrived, Steve nowhere to be found in the sea of people. They all stood together in clumps, exchanging jovial smiles that pushed up rosy cheeks, the women cooing over each other's outfits and jewelry while the men swapped stories about their quarterly earnings. Weaving through the throngs, cater waiters floated past carrying trays loaded with hors d’oeuvres and tall glasses of shimmery, bubbly liquid.

It made you and Eddie glance around, furtive and unsure as you skulked into the foyer. The two of you might as well have been invisible for all the attention anyone paid you.

“See Steve anywhere?” you asked, peering deeper inside the house.

The former stud of Hawkins High had always been easy to spot in the hallways of his former domain, seemingly towering over everyone even after he stopped sporting that gravity-defying bouffant hairstyle. Those days were long gone now, but an occasional glimmer of his old self would still shine through, reminding you of when King Steve reigned supreme.

“Nope, nowhere,” Eddie grumbled. “I told you this was a mistake.”

His warm breath on your ear as he leaned in to whisper in it had your head snapping to the  side. Some of the snow that had just started to fall outside dusted his dark, unruly curls and he still had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket, as though he wanted to be ready to turn heel and run at the first opportunity. You’d seen him look more relaxed about to shoplift.

“What do you mean?” 

“Look around, sweetheart. See if you can spot what doesn’t belong.”

It was kind of irritating how right he was. Everyone else in attendance tonight looked perfectly at home in this pretty picture. It was all business partners and their wives, clients who probably made more in a year than you or Eddie would hope to see in your entire lifetime, other miscellaneous friends and fellow members of the Hawkins upper echelon.

To call you fish out of water would be putting it lightly. You were like fish on a space station.

“What were we supposed to do?” you whispered back. “We had to come.”

That was debatable. Steve had invited you, yes, but he also practically tripped over himself to assure you it was totally fine if you couldn’t make it. He’d sat on the edge of Eddie’s sofa running through all his most blatant tells—hands pushing through his hair, thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of his nose, foot jiggling non-stop—as he told you about the party.

“It’s all my parents' friends, so it might be kind of lame. But I’m allowed to invite people if you guys want to come. It’d be really great to see you.”

He’d worked himself up into such a state, it almost felt cruel to say no. You weren’t sure what it was—something about the earnestness with which he asked, and the way his eyes shone so hopefully when you smiled and told him you thought it sounded like fun.

Eddie’s gruff voice sounded in your ear again.

“Think we’re just here to piss off daddy?”

You followed his eyeline to the living room, gaze promptly drawn to the imposing frame of John Harrington as he reached out to grip the hand of someone important. Or at least someone who seemed to think they were. Even never having seen or met him before, he was easy to pick out as Steve’s father. They had the same square jaw, the same perfectly angled nose and rich, light brown hair. Although, John’s was cut shorter and tamed into a much more manageable style than his son’s long locks that lived in a near-constant state of tousled messiness.

“Steve wouldn’t do that,” you said firmly. “He asked us to come because we’re his friends.”

The words still felt strange to say. It made you wonder, yet again, if it would ever stop feeling so surreal that you now hung out with Steve “The Hair” Harrington on an almost daily basis.

When you were in school together, you never even landed on his radar. Eddie had some notoriety as the town’s supposed demon summoner, but you were just…around. A plain face that blended into the crowd; a background extra with no lines in the scene; wallpaper and set dressing for the popular kids who were living out their exemplary lives.

If this was only a few years prior, he probably would be spending this evening sneaking drinks with Tommy H. and Carol, or parading around with Nancy Wheeler on his arm to show her off to all his dad’s colleagues and brag about her getting into Emerson. Instead, his falling out with all of them and his subsequent fall from his high-school throne had led him here—to an unlikely friendship with The Freak and The Invisible Girl.

Whenever he came over to Eddie’s to smoke, or you three piled into his car to go to the movies or drive the winding back roads that snaked along the edge of town, it almost felt natural. And the more time you spent with him, the harder and harder it became to remember why he’d always seemed so…untouchable.

“So, what should we do?” You wondered aloud as you glanced around again, still hoping Steve might materialize somehow. Behind you, Eddie’s head shook and his shoulders shrugged.

“How should I know? You were the one begging to come tonight.”

“I wasn’t begging.”

“Oh, really?” He scoffed as he leaned in close again, raising the pitch of his voice in an overly breathy imitation of you. “Please, Eddie? Please, can we go to the party? I’ll let you eat me out from the back if you—”

“Stifle,” you hissed, jamming your elbow into his stomach.

He grunted at the sharp jab, but his lips remained curled in a sly smirk. “What’s wrong? Worried your little crush will find out what I’ve been doing to you after he goes home?”

“I don’t care if he knows,” you sniped. It’s almost convincing, but the flash of alarm in your eyes told a different story. Not that it mattered, Eddie didn’t buy it for a second anyway.

“Well, that’s good,” he tutted. “Because he already knows we’ve fucked.”

“Wait, what?” You whirled around fully now. “How?”

“He, ahh…” Eddie fought to contain his grin as he scratched at the short stubble on his cheek. “He saw that picture you let me take.”

Your eyes went wide, both horrified and enraged as you shoved his shoulder—hard. 

“You showed it to him?”

“No, he found it,” Eddie hissed. “We were looking around for some weed I had stashed and he happened to open the drawer it was in.”

Your whole body—your very being—surged with white hot shame. If it wouldn’t have given Eddie so much satisfaction, you might have run straight out of the party right then and there. The thought of Steve seeing you like that…

It was almost unbearable.

The details of you and Eddie’s attachment had always been strictly under wraps. You weren’t exactly keeping it a secret, per se, but most people weren’t super accepting of the idea and you’d learned to play it close to the vest. And with how much time the two of you had started spending with Steve, you didn’t want to risk making him uncomfortable.

It had been going on for ages. Pausing, albeit briefly, if one of you found yourself in a relationship, and picking right back up when said relationship inevitably fizzled or if it tipped into the dangerous territory of getting too serious. He was one of the few people in your life you trusted intrinsically, and it wasn’t like guys were banging down your door as it was.

The picture was a one-time thing—a polaroid you’d let Eddie snap as a belated birthday present because you’d been too busy to find him something real.  You had made him swear upon pain of death it was for his eyes only. And now he’d shown it to the last person on earth you wanted to see it? Oh, you were going to garrotte him with tinsel in his sleep.

Also, Steve wasn’t your crush. He was…a preoccupation. A distraction. A vague interest.

You couldn’t even say for sure when it had begun. All you knew was just last spring, there was a month of Friday evenings where you found yourself back in the Hawkins High parking lot pulled in alongside Steve’s distinctive maroon beemer. He was leaning on the hood, waiting for Hellfire to let out so he could drive home his little horde of nuggets, and you had shown up acting as Eddie’s ride while his van was out of commission.

And that night, for the first time ever, you had a real conversation with Steve Harrington.

A fairly illuminating one, at that.

There was a sweetness to him you never would have guessed was there. And a dorkiness that brought light to his eyes when he did his elaborate handshake with Dustin Henderson, or the way he exalted along with the kids when the group burst through the double doors leading out of the school, whooping and cheering from a successful campaign. It warmed your whole body from the inside out, the feeling only growing stronger the more time you shared.

And now he’d seen your bare tits covered in Eddies cum. Perfect, just perfect.

“You’re such an asshole,” you muttered through gritted teeth. “That’s so humiliating.”

“I don’t know,” Eddie said, his eyes glinting with mischief. “I think he kinda liked it.”

“He…he did?”

“I mean, he was staring at it pretty hard. I think he needed some alone time with it.”

You rolled your eyes and gave his shoulder another shove for good measure, muttering a you're disgusting at him under your breath, hoping it would hide the nerves creeping across your face. Unfortunately, it only seemed to add fuel to Eddie’s fire. He leaned in one last time, his voice a gritty rasp in your ear that made shivers run down your spine.

“So you don’t wanna know what he said, then?”

Tension seized your shoulders as you glared at him, jaw clenched, ready to spit back a vicious comment—or maybe just spit—only to stop short at the sound of a familiar voice.

“Hey, guys! I’m so glad you made it!”

Steve was beaming as he came over, his bright hazel eyes shining, the golden flecks in them brought out by the color of his sweater. He drew you into his embrace, his strong arms curling securely around your body and his gourmand scent filling your nose as you breathed him in.

Your hands smoothed over the planes of his back, relishing in the softness of the knit he wore and the solidity of his broad chest pressed against yours. Your pulse quickened, blood pounding in your ears as you did your level best to force what Eddie had just told you out of your head.

“I’m the coat check tonight,” Steve explained, tipping an imaginary cap. “There’s a guest room upstairs we can put them in.”

“I gotta take a leak,” Eddie said, already shrugging off his leather jacket and pushing it into your arms. “Take care of that for me, will you sweetheart?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, but Eddie just grinned back at you with a suggestive bounce of his brows behind his curled bangs. Steve pointed him in the direction of the bathroom and then turned straight back to you as he tilted his head upstairs.

“Shall we?” he asked.

The sounds of the party became distant and muffled as Steve led you upstairs to the designated dumping ground for all the furs and wraps of the numerous guests. It was dark inside, lit only by the moonlight that streamed through the window and the warm glow of the lights strung on the outside of the house that cast across the heap of coats on the bed.

You laid Eddie’s jacket down on a chair in the corner before you began to undo the belt of your own tied around your waist. As the thick, gray poly-blend slid off your shoulders, you shivered at the cool air hitting your heated skin for the first time that night.

When you turned back around, Steve was much closer than you remembered. 

His eyes studied you with a kind of reverence that made your body tingle with excitement in a way you didn’t dare to name. The way he looked at you sometimes…whether it through a haze of pot smoke in Eddie’s trailer, or in the flickering light of a screen at the multiplex, or beneath the harsh amber wash of a single streetlight in an empty parking lot…

It made you wonder.

“You look really nice,” he finally said, his voice as soft as his eyes.

The dress you’d worn was fairly simple, made of maroon velour with a burnout pattern of leaves you thought looked a bit like holly. It was loose and flowy, but had laces in the back you had pulled tight so it cinched in your waist and pushed up your chest, not unlike a corset. The neckline was just low enough to flirt with impropriety and it nicely complimented the length of the pendant that sat in the center of your clavicle.

A dainty (fake) gold snowflake you thought was festive.

“Thanks,” you replied, your voice even softer than his as you folded your arms in front of your stomach. “I hope it’s okay. I don’t have a lot of nice outfits.”

Steve shook his head, captivated eyes still scanning over you. They landed briefly on your legs, the black stockings you’d worn in an attempt to stave off the cold now prickling warm on your skin as if it was his hands running over them instead of just his gaze.

“You always look perfect,” he said.

It’s not just the words that made you falter, but the plainness with which he states them. As if it’s something obvious. As though he thinks it all the time and he just happened to say it this time. It makes your stomach twirl and all at once, you feel like an empty-headed teenager standing at her locker, dizzy from being complimented by the cutest boy in school.

“So, this is quite a spectacle,” you chuckled, glad for the dimness of the room that somewhat hid your reaction to him. “Are there any poinsettias left in Hawkins?”

Steve smirked and took a careful step forward. There was only about a foot of space between you now, if that. “I think if there were, my mom would already have a guy on it,” he said.

Your eyes met his and you shared a soft laugh. “Well, it’s really beautiful,” you sighed. “It must have taken her ages to do all this.”

“Not really,” Steve chuckled. “She has, like, a whole team that comes in and puts it all together.”

“Oh, right. Of course.” Your gaze dropped and you gave a regretful shake of your head. Rich people stuff, you thought a bit bitterly. No wonder that hadn’t occurred to you. “But…you must decorate the tree together, at least. Right?”

“No, they do that too. I’ve, uh…I’ve never actually never decorated a tree for Christmas. I kind of thought that was just something they did in movies.”

He huffed out a laugh, trying to hide the sadness that had started to pollute his smile, and rubbed the back of his head, tugging at the hair there that curled along the nape of his neck.

All you could do was stare.

You thought about that gleaming, twelve-foot behemoth downstairs with its dazzling lights and ornaments all spaced and hung so perfectly. It was stunning—looked like something straight out of a magazine. But now it was tinged with something hollow and unsatisfactory. 

Cold. Fake. Empty.

It was you who stepped closer this time, the muscles in your arm tensing as if fighting against your brain’s instructions to reach out and touch him. He was close enough now you could feel the warmth coming off his body and smell the spice of his cologne and the clove cigarette he must have smoked. Your lips trembled, parted slightly, still searching for what to say.

But words refused to come.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Steve soothed, flashing you that easy and charming smile you’d grown to love and loathe in equal measure. “I just meant, like, Christmas really isn’t a big deal to me. And neither is this party, honestly, but…”

He fell silent as his hand reached out to squeeze your elbow, the soft pad of his thumb rubbing gently across your forearm. You stared mutely at his hand where it rested, already dreading how cold it would feel there when he let go of you. Except he didn’t.

“I’m really happy you’re here, though,” he said.

Steve’s chest rose with a sharp inhale and the tip of his tongue swiped along his bottom lip to wet it. His head tilted towards you, a few stray pieces of hair falling into his eyes that were bright and shiny with the string lights around the window reflecting in them. 

It made your own breath catch, praying you weren’t imagining it as he started to lean in.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

You and Steve flew apart like shrapnel, both of you too wrapped up in the steady draw of your bodies together to notice the heavy thump of Eddie’s footsteps in the hall. Steve’s hand came up automatically to run through his hair, dragging up the bottom of his sweater and flashing the briefest glimpse of torso as his arm lifted. It made your mouth dry as a bone.

“I just realized I forgot about my hostess gift,” Eddie said.

His brow cocked at you and yet another little smirk curved along his lips as he brushed past, nudging you ever so subtly back in Steve’s direction. He then started to rifle through the inside pockets of his leather jacket until he exhumed a plastic bag with a few joints inside.

“Got it!” he chimed, holding it up triumphantly. “Merry Christmas, Stevie.”

The little baggie sailed through the air, crinkling when it hit Steve in the center of his chest. 

“Oh! Thanks, man,” he chuckled, fumbling to catch it. “That’s great.”

Turning it over in his hands, he paused, mulling in silence as he stared down at the joints and glanced over his shoulder at the open doorway. From downstairs, you could now hear the faint tinkling of a piano being played and Eddie noticeably winced at the first few warbled notes of an unrecognizable carol being sung by a particularly drunk chorus.

“You know,” Steve said slowly. “We could bail on the party. Take this out to the pool house?”

As soon as he asked, his eyes darted up to meet yours—interrupting your intense study of the side of his face. Round and hopeful, they shone with his earnestness and you felt dizzy all over again. It made your brain scramble, trying to act like you weren’t just consumed by thoughts of what might or might not have been about to happen. You smiled.

“What are we waiting for?”

Steve left the lights off in the pool house, not wanting to draw too much attention if someone wandered onto the patio for some fresh air. The three of you made your way out in shifts—you with a plate of decadent treats you’d filled from the long table of desserts, Eddie with one loaded with food he’d swiped from the circulating trays, and Steve with a bottle of champagne he’d snuck out of the kitchen while the caterers were distracted.

The satisfying pop of its opening bounced off the walls that were mostly windows, sounding all the more illicit and clandestine in the darkness. The contents of the bottle fizzed as he held it out, offering you the first swig, and you took it with a nimble grasp.

Bubbly liquid splashed on your tongue and the dry, almost acidic, taste of it surely would have impressed someone with a more refined palette. But it made you wrinkle your nose as you squinted to read the French name scrawled in a loopy script on the shield shaped label.

“Gross, right?” Steve chuckled as you handed the bottle back. “But it gets the job done.”

He took a deep swig, head tipping back and giving you a long, long moment to study his neck as the muscles flexed with his swallow. You stared shamelessly, transfixed by the pairs of moles that sat along the line of his strong jaw, head empty of thoughts except how much better thechampagne would taste if you were licking it from his lips.

Eddie coughed, all loud and fake, drawing both of your eyes to him where he sat on a rattan sofa in the center of the room. He stared at you expectantly as he slouched down further in his seat, his knees spread wide and his arms draped across the back. He’d wasted no time making himself more comfortable, loosening the evergreen tie you’d made him wear and rolling up the sleeves of the dress shirt he normally only broke out for funerals or the odd court appearance.

“Don’t I get some of that?” he asked with a wry smirk.

Steve hurried to offer him the champagne, wiping away a little dribble of it that had started to trickle down his chin. You followed behind and slotted into a chair adjacent to Eddie’s as Steve handed off the bottle, making your brain short circuit when you saw the way his wide grasp nearly engulfed the entire bottom. It didn’t restart until he settled in the seat next to you.

After taking his sip, Eddie sparked up one of the joints and started it in a rotation along with the champagne. After only a few pulls from each you started to feel the effects, your head getting all light and floaty, your body warming from the blood pumping through you, your skin buzzing from the way your fingers kept brushing Steve’s whenever you passed him the joint or the bottle. 

Or maybe it was from the way his eyes lingered on yours when you did.

Eventually, you dropped out of the rotation and sank back in your chair to gaze up at the house. The whole thing seemed to glow with the warmth of the party within, its windows bright yellow, the lights twinkling on the eaves. And the snowfall had remained soft and steady, dusting everything with a fine layer of white like powdered sugar.

The picture was immaculate, like a life-size snow globe. If Steve’s mother had somehow managed to pay Mother Nature as a decorator, it wouldn’t surprise you in the slightest.

“Seriously, Harrington,” Eddie snorted, evidently sharing in your bewilderment. “If all this is just the weekend before, I’m scared to ask what your family does for the main event.”

A deep chuckle bubbled out of his chest as he took a long swig of the rapidly draining bottle. He’d said it mostly as a joke, but Steve’s reaction revealed a nerve had been struck. He began to cough, sputtering out his words as he pulled the smoldering joint from between his lips.

“Oh no, it’s not—they aren’t, uh…they won’t be here.”

His eyes darted to the floor as he shook his head and stammered out his non-answer, wearing that same look on his face you’d seen in the guest room. Half-sad and trying to hide it.

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked. Steve just shrugged.

“They always go away for Christmas. I think it’s St. Barts this year. Maybe Turks and Caicos? Their flight is sometime tomorrow night.”

“Wait, so…they just leave you here?” you asked. “By yourself?”

Steve shrugged and shook his head again, the move almost reflexive, like flinching away from the sting of alcohol cleaning a fresh wound. “A nanny would stay with me when I was little. But from the time I was old enough…yeah, pretty much.”

You and Eddie’s eyes met, the same unthinkable thought seemingly crossing your minds. You actually felt bad—not just bad, but sad—for Steve Harrington. 

“It’s not so bad, seriously,” he said, all flustered trying to salvage the mood. “I just hang out and watch movies and eat pizza. It’s fun. Honest.”

Despite his attempts, you can’t help but frown as you think what Steve’s Christmas will look like. His big house that was bursting at the seams with people right now being cold and desolate; him sitting all alone at a long dining room table eating leftover appetizers for every meal.

The thought tugged at something buried deep inside you. Something you’d packed away long ago and shoved into the furthest recesses of your mind. A box wrapped and taped and stapled and tied shut and then shoved behind a closet door. It made you turn to look at Eddie and he nodded knowingly, needing no words to know what you wanted him to say.

“You should come over,” he said, speaking so suddenly it came out loud in the tense quiet.

Steve’s head lifted. “What?”

“To me and Wayne’s,” Eddie supplied. “For Christmas Eve. We have dinner together and watch old movies and play games and shit. With this one.”

He jerked his thumb at you and you smiled as Steve’s eyes flitted over to meet your gaze.

“Only because they can’t cook to save their lives,” you said, shooting him a wink that made the corners of his mouth curl upwards.

“It’s not gonna be like this,” Eddie assured. “But it’s something, you know?”

“That, um…” Steve looked down at his lap, his long lashes fluttering as he tried to blink back the beginnings of tears. “That sounds really nice.”

Your hand moved without permission, reaching out to close around his wrist and squeeze. Steve’s head turned, staring at it like he thought he was dreaming. And as your brain suddenly caught up with the action and your body flooded with embarrassment, you started to pull it back only to feel the warmth of his palm covering your hand to hold it in place.

The only sound in the room was yours and Steve’s soft breathing and you swore you could feel the way both of your pulses were racing in time. His eyes lifted to meet yours and you became entranced all over again by his handsome face, the freckles that dotted his tanned skin, hazel eyes that shimmered as he scanned your expression, the deepness of his cupid's bow.

“I, um…I should check in with my mom real quick. You guys, uh…sit tight.”

Steve sputtered out his words as he rose to his feet, leaving your skin cold as he pulled his hands from yours. He looked around, his eyes searching to land on anything besides you or Eddie as he turned and stumbled towards the door. Eddie watched you watch Steve leave, an expression on his face as bemused as it was mocking.

“Jesus Christ, you two are exhausting.”

He shook his head, laughing to himself as he stuffed the last of the appetizers in his mouth. You glared back at him as he chewed and tried not to think about how your hand still burned where the ghost of Steve’s warmth remained.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on. If I knew I was gonna have to watch you make googly-eyes at each other all night, I could have stayed home. I get enough of that as it is.”

“We’re not—”

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” Eddie scoffed. “You are. He is. Just make a move, already.”

It was actually painful rolling your eyes as hard as you did. “Right. Sure. And what kind of move am I supposed to make? Considering how he ran out of here just because I touched his arm?”

“You’re not serious, are you? You’re pulling my dick, right?”

Eddie hunched forward as you deadpanned him, answering with a slow blink of your eyes and humorless expression until he threw his head back in a loud laugh.

“He had a fucking boner, smartass!” he cackled.

It’s not only your cheeks that warm now, but your whole body igniting like a bonfire. The feeling grips your shoulders, it’s talons digging into your flesh, threatening to pierce it to the bone.

“Bullshit,” you whispered, your mind reeling.

“You think I don’t know Steve well enough to know when he goes from six to midnight? It happens literally any time you touch him.”

Eddie was still snickering to himself as he took a final puff of the joint that had been smoked down to a nub. You stared at your hands in your lap, thoughts going into overdrive. Because this wasn’t just some random guy at the Hideout or an ex-classmate hitting on you at a house party. This wouldn’t be just a fumbled touch, grabby hands groping blindly in a dark closet that you would recount to Eddie before he gave you the orgasm you’d sorely been denied.

This was Steve. This would be something. Wouldn’t it?

“Only one way to find out,” Eddie said, as though he could hear the question you were asking yourself. “Anything’s gotta be better than this.”

“But what if he—”

The rattle of the doorknob cut you off, your eyes darted to the door just as Steve pushed it open to slip back inside. Eddie’s dark curls fell forward, sliding off his shoulders as he leaned in.

“Just follow my lead,” he whispered.

Your eyes bulged in your skull, but before you could retort or argue, Steve had plopped back down in the chair next to you and your lips were effectively sealed.

“So the singing is still going on,” he chuckled. “But I think everyone will head home soon. We aren’t missing much.”

“That’s okay.” Eddie groaned softly into a stretch as he settled back into his reclined position. “I’m sure we can think of something to do.”

Heat flooded your core at his insinuating tone and you sat up a little straighter. He let his head loll to the side, his eyes finding yours automatically, dark irises glinting in the scant light.

“Hey…c’mere, doll.”

Eddie shifted down in his seat, rubbing his ringed hand across his thigh as an invitation. Maybe it was the weed. Maybe it was the fancy, and surely expensive, champagne you’d been sipping all night. Maybe it was the way Steve’s gaze followed you so intently as you stood and walked over to where Eddie sat on the wicker sofa. Whatever it was, it was working.

You laid your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as you kneeled on the cushion next to him and went to straddle his lap. But his hands came up to grip your waist and stopped you.

“Uh-uh,” he said, motioning his index finger in a circle. “Other way.”

You hesitated, glancing from your crouched position over at Steve. His eyes smoldered in the darkness as he watched you—leaning forward in his seat, elbows resting on his knees, his long fingers laced in front of him. With a hard swallow, you stood and turned.

Eddie jerked you back against him, roughly pulling you flush with his chest. His knees pushed between your own and he spread them wide so your legs were held open, draped over the tops of his thighs. It made the skirt of your dress glide upwards, hem skimming the tops of your stockings, threatening to reveal the strips of bare skin between them and your panties.

His words from earlier still rang in your head. Follow my lead.

Well-worn hands splayed wide across your stomach, squeezing at the softness of your waist. Beneath you, his hips began to shift and the beginnings of his hard-on pressed insistently into the fat of your ass. It made you shiver all over, a gasp falling from your lips.

“So well behaved,” Eddie hummed, tracing the line of your jaw with his fingertips, suddenly gripping your chin in his hand to turn your face towards him. “She’s such a good girl, Stevie…. and we have so much fun together…”

The words and the deep timbre of his voice sent more shivers down your spine as he bumped the tip of your nose with his own. He pecked lightly at your lips until they opened up for him, his tongue probing the warm cavern of your mouth until you were moaning into his kiss.

It was lazy, but punishing. He nipped gently at your top lip, his own feathering with a tiny snarl as he revered back to his conversation with Steve.

“Why don’t you tell her about that photo you found?” he asked, hot breath fanning across your cheek. “Tell her what you thought about it.”

Your gaze flashed to Steve’s and you wondered if there was more light in here whether you’d be able to see a rush of scarlet covering his cheeks. His eyes had gone round with nervous energy, but they remained locked onto yours as he spoke.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about it,” he rasped, his voice almost cracking his throat was so tight. “I wish I could see it again, I…I wish it was me she’d done that for.”

The pit of your belly burned at his words, a breathy sigh fluttering in your chest and an exquisite ache now radiating between your legs. Eddie’s fingers trailed along the center of your body, over your sternum, tracing the dip of your navel through your dress until it quivered under his touch.

Slowly, he drew up the bottom of your dress like a curtain to reveal your core and the black lace your arousal had begun to seep through. The tips of his fingers stroked your entrance, mercilessly teasing your second set of lips.

“You wouldn’t believe how good she feels, Steve,” Eddie husked, his fingers holding their pace, making you grind into his lap. “Way better than that prissy cheerleader pussy you’re used to.”

The room filled with the sound of your breath and the wet schlick of Eddie’s fingers in your folds.

“Oh, sorry,” Eddie snickered. “I should say honor society pussy.”

Steve’s nostrils suddenly flared, his gaze tearing away from you and your body as if coming out of a trance. You looked back over your shoulder with a horrified look.

“Eddie—”

“Shush,” he snapped, cutting you off by plunging his fingers inside of you. They hooked upwards and your back bowed at the sudden stretch, a broken moan slipping past your lips. Steve’s eyes were drawn to your face at the sound, Eddie’s mention of his ex flying right out of his head.

“You want a taste, Harrington?” he asked, all dark and leading.

A little whimper escaped you at the thought and Eddie grinned wickedly. He smiled as he kissed the back of your neck, his teeth flashing as he nipped at your racing pulse.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, sweetheart? You’d like his tongue?”

“Y-yes,” you gasped, your eyes darting to find Steve’s. “Please.”

At your plaintive mewl, the very moment you asked, Steve instantly rose to his feet and hurried to kneel between yours and Eddie’s spread legs. His long fingers wrapped around the gusset of your underwear and he wrenched them to the side to reveal your dripping core.

He licked his lips as he stared at it, practically salivating. Your own lips trembled, fighting back the urge to cry out for him as you let your head fall back to rest on Eddie’s shoulder.

The wet heat of his tongue met your pussy in long, languid swipes. He nodded his head with each motion, dragging it through your folds as he inhaled deep and needy breaths of your scent like you were his air. His eyes burned with lust as he looked up from between your thighs, gauging your every reaction in the way you fluttered around his tongue.

With a trembling hand, you reached out and brushed your fingertips along his brow, skimming the stray pieces of hair that had fallen forward into his eyes. The intensity of his stare, the depth of his gaze, made you glow brighter even than that behemoth of a tree inside.

He sped up his movements, working you up, the tip of his tongue pointed to swirl in a pattern as magical as it was maddening, flicking it teasingly over your clit and making you clench with each too-quick pass. At the same time, you felt Eddie’s hand creep up between your shoulder blades, fingers weaving into your hair to grasp it at the root. He gave it a firm tug and pulled your head back, bringing his lips to your ear so he could whisper to you—deep and rough and just loud enough for Steve to hear.

“Why don’t you tell him how long you’ve wanted this, huh?”

Another pitiful whimper left your lips as Eddie’s other hand squeezed a little more intensely at your chest, tweaking your nipple through your dress, loving how it made you tremble.

“Si-since Junior year,” you panted. “When he w-won the state swim meet…”

Just the thought of that day nearly has you flooding Eddie’s lap and Steve’s mouth. Your mind filled with the memories of it—visions of him in a Speedo that confirmed just about every rumor you’d ever overheard in the girl’s locker room; his arm and back muscles rippling as he pushed himself out of the pool; water spilling over freckled skin, droplets collecting on his shoulders and running down, down, down to where the small of his back met the fullness of his ass.

You had sat in the stands, thighs pressing together, feeling almost perverted staring while he celebrated with his teammates and whipped off his swim cap, his wild hair exploding out of it and making you wonder how he’d even managed to fit it all underneath in the first place.

The mere mention of his glory days seemed to have a similar effect on Steve. The movements of his tongue and lips turned more fervent, more determined to unspool you as he moaned like he’d never tasted anything as good as you.

Tremors began to roll through your body, making your thighs twitch and spasm.

“Tell him how good it feels,” Eddie husked, hips now punching up to create some friction against his own cock as it strained inside his dress pants. “Tell him how much you like it.”

“Yes, Steve, fuck—I love it so much,” you whined. “Keep going, I need it.”

The pretty lilt and waver of your voice had Steve unraveling before your very eyes. Another low groan rumbled from deep in his chest and he buried his face further, more eagerly, in your heat.

“God, you taste so fucking good, honey,” he moaned. “I could do this all night.”

The thought of having his mouth on you all night is enthralling, but there was no way you would last. You were barely going to make it another minute as it was. Steve was too good. 

Every flick, every swipe, every swirl of his tongue you could feel in your entire body. Pleasure rushed across you in waves, a torturous winding upwards, that burning feeling deep in your gut coiling tighter, tighter. Your breaths grew shallow and your pulse raced until you were shaking in Eddie’s lap, fighting so hard to keep your legs spread apart that they shook from the effort.

Steve’s hands came up to grasp at your thighs, his fingers squeezing at the meat of them as he kept you pried open for him to ravish. Like a man possessed, he lapped and sucked and kissed at your entrance, his whole body seeming to move along with the motions of his tongue and lips. Beneath you, the wicker couch suddenly slid backwards and you realized it was because he had tried to grind against it—desperate to feel something, anything, against his cock.

Wishing it was you.

“C-close, close, I’m so close. Steve, I’m co—oohhh—”

Your orgasm rushed in, plowing through your body, making you lose all sense. You squirmed wildly in Eddie’s lap, almost having forgotten he was there until he reached around to give both of your nipples one last pinch—knowing how it always pushed you further over the edge.

Steve’s lips never left your clit and his eyes never left your face as he ushered you into your climax. He stared up at you, his eyes all glassy and round, searching for your reassurance as he rose from between your legs. His face hovered in front of yours and he lifted a hand to cup your jaw, his massive palm warm on your flushed skin as you panted to regain your breath.

“Good?” he asked. Hushed, like a prayer.

“So good,” you exhaled, chest still heaving. Your voice wobbled as you spoke, so overwhelmed with all your buried feelings being dredged to the surface. “Steve, that was—”

“Steven? Are you out here?”

Every hair on Steve’s head went flying as he whipped his head around hearing his mother’s voice. Through the sheer curtains, he could see her as she stepped outside onto the porch, peering into the darkness, wrapping a fur stole tighter around her elegant cocktail attire.

Panic struck his face like lightning, his mouth hanging open, his lips and chin still shiny with your spend. He looked back at you, his cheeks nearly as deep red as the velvet ribbons hung all over his house. You scrambled off Eddie’s lap to stand, frantically straightening your dress and hair, nervously wiping at your lips that were swollen from biting down when you came.

“I, um…the party’s probably over,” Steve said. “I just have to say goodbye to some people.”

He ran his hands through his hair a few more times as he strode towards the door, even though any damage you’d done grabbing it must have been righted by now. You looked over at Eddie, your own eyes swirling with questions you were terrified to hear the answers to.

His shoulders bounced, standing to tuck his shirttail back into his dress pants.

“Well, that’s one way to do it.”.

Steve was waiting in the foyer with you and Eddie’s coats when you snuck in from outside. His parents, thankfully, were too occupied giving the caterers instructions for clean-up to exchange any pleasantries at the door. You could only imagine how that would go…

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Harrington. I’m the girl your son made come all over his face in your pool house. What a lovely party, thank you so much for inviting us.

There was still a smile on Steve’s face, though it felt almost pasted on now compared to his expression when you first arrived, sort of forced in an attempt to look more normal than he felt. He handed off Eddie’s leather jacket and then held yours open, his eyes remaining glued to you as you turned and pushed your arms through the sleeves. His fingertips trailed along the nape of your neck as he helped straighten the coat on your shoulders, his index tracing its curve all the way to your hairline in a way that felt so intentional it made your skin buzz.

With your ears pounding from your heartbeat thundering in them, you spun around to face him, your lips parted to speak only for no words to come. Because what was there for you to say? Or for him to do? Kiss you? He hadn’t even done that during, would he do it now to say goodbye?

Steve’s handsome face was as conflicted and contorted as your own. A faint blush still dusted along his cheeks and his eyes shone bright from the candlelight coming off the tapers that had burned almost all the way out. At last he drew a breath, and you felt your heart stutter.

“Thank you for coming,” he said softly.

Eddie could barely contain the snort that burst out of him, even as he slapped a hand over his crooked smile and your eyes shot daggers straight into his chest.

You couldn’t get out the door fast enough.

There was only silence as the pair of you trudged along the driveway to the street where Eddie had parked his van, the snow on the ground having melted into slush mottled with gray where it mixed with excess oil on the road. Without the glow of the Christmas lights coming off the rest of the houses in the neighborhood, the darkness of Steve’s street now felt oppressive. 

It made you walk a little quicker to the van, your hand curled tight around the passenger side door handle waiting for Eddie to unlock it. As the two of you climbed inside the cab, he cranked the engine and flipped open the air vents for the heat to blast, finally breaking his silence as you yanked your door shut behind you with a sharp tug.

“Look, I’m sorry. Okay? I thought I was helping,” Eddie muttered, his hands gripping tight around the steering wheel. “You were being so fucking obvious, I thought you needed a push.”

His chunky rings glinted in the street light as he busied himself messing with the radio, static scratching in your ears as he searched for something besides Christmas music.

“Are you really mad?” he asked, still fiddling with the dial, barely able to look at you. 

You shook your head.

“I just…I don’t know, I feel like it’s weird now.” You let your face fall into your hands and shook your head furiously. “I mean, was that totally fucked up? To do that?”

“Nah, that wasn’t fucked up,” Eddie said assuredly. 

He sounded confident enough that you let your shoulders actually relax and finally expelled the breath you were holding. The relief was short-lived though, when Eddie piped up again.

“I’ll tell you what might be, though.”

With a heavy sigh, you looked over at him warily. “What?” you asked.

Eddie sighed as he slumped back against the seat. His foot rested on the gas pedal and he pressed it down lightly, barely revving the engine to get some hot air flowing from the vents.

“When he comes over for Christmas Eve.”

Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate any time taken to read/comment endlessly ♥️

Started on this last year in December so that should tell you everything you need to know about my writing process. Enjoy some Christmas in whatever-month-you’re-reading-this. 😉

[maybege]

May, darling girl, hello there 🩷🥰 i just wanted to tell you, i started reading your Aaron Hotchner series and it's so amazing, angsty, fluffy, with feels and yearnings and you write so amazingly and i fell in love with your Hotch 🥺😍

Ahhh thank you so much, my dear!! I’m so happy you like it so far 🥹🫶

[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

it's been a weird couple days (as you know cause i keep texting you 😅). everything still feels really off and my emotions are going in circles (thank fuck i'm seeing my therapist tomorrow).

BUT either way, I've promised you that I'd FINALLY read roommate!Paz and tell you my thoughts!! idk what it is about tonight, but i finally had the energy to fully appreciate it and be ready to do this (maybe I also just needed the comfort of your writing and your paz).

Soooo, let's start? I’m going to try and not just quote every single line back at you but oh my god please know that I love everything about this. I still don’t quite know how one is actually supposed to react to stories, so I hope you‘ll enjoy my rambling about how your words have made me feel 😅

First of all, i hope you know that roommate!Paz is my ABSOLUTE WEAKNESS!! that man is so fine 🥰🫠(and honestly,, can do whatever he wants to me..)

"He was so careful, so gentle and made sure you felt safe, happy and satisfied before he tried new things. Even then, said new things were introduced slowly and with care. And every time he did you felt like you were falling in lust a little bit more." this? the dream. Also "in LUST"??? girl please stop denying it, you’re like fully in LOVE!!!

also.... "something very peaceful about not having to worry about how someone fucks you because you know they do it right" ..... do you just have a secret source of knowledge about my anxiety issues??? cause that feels a little to relatable as a concept,, like straight up taken from my brain when i try to explain why i'm drawn to these types of stories 😂🙈

"the man of your dreams (and also your heart but it would take time for you to admit that out loud) ".. THANK YOU, this is what ive been thinking. can't wait for them both to realise that they are absolutely in love with one another.

also, this: "You wanted to spend as little time as possible on chores and as much time as possible … together." very relatable. the „… together“ made me giggle 🙈

.. also sidenote, I really love the way you center the trust between them in the beginning of the story (and througout, really). It really is such a vital part of their dynamic and to actually feel that is really nice. and i also just really love the intimacy between the two of them - like the scene of him coming home and caring about how her day went.

“Paz,” you giggled, your hands buried in the soft hairs at the back of his neck, “What are you doing?” ... dont mind me just giggling and grinning over here...

“I’m eating you out, what does it look like?” he grinned, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip AND THEN “Patience, sweetheart,” he teased you, looking up from where his fingers were circling your nipples over the fabric of your shirt. “Let me play with you.?????? hot. 10/10. actually cant function anymore, this is all I'll think about now 🫠

“You're so good for me,” he murmured against your sternum, “Such a pretty little slut just for me, aren’t you?” ... LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT NOW????? i think i dont even really like the idea of men calling me a slut, but i think he might be an expection.....

… also, please know that this is how I've reacted to every line of paz speaking 🙈🥰🫠10/10.

Before you could answer (or, let's be real, beg) ... LISTEN, that would be true but you didnt have to call me out like that 😂😭

“I know,” he replied, pressing a quick kiss to your inner thigh before slipping your legs off his shoulders, “Got you all come drunk already, huh?”.. one thing that man will always be is cocky.... and honestly? fair, he's allowed to be. how could he not be when he’s doing everything so right?

“Not today, love,” he murmured, the nickname sending a thrill through you and also Kissing Paz was everything you had ever fantasised it to be and more. JUST CONFESS ALREADYYYY 😭🫶🏼

“I thought this could be your … the necklace, you know?” [...] Paz seemed to know what you were thinking because he suddenly became bashful. He rubbed the back of his neck, the free hand still on your thigh, “You can – you can choose something else, if you like, of course. But I saw it in the mall at lunch and I just … knew.” stop I'm gonny cry

“And remember –“ he started. “I can always take it off whenever I want to,” you finished… i really love this. I think I've told you this before, but i really like how you always manage to hit home on the consent and trust between pairings in your stories.

You thrived in coming home and being dragged into his bed or him coming home and coming straight to you. That must be your favourite part, really. Him coming home and using you any which way he liked. Both of you ending up on the couch afterwards, talking about how your respective days had been. ... did you just invade my daydreams??? but seriously, again, i love love love reading about the intimate aspects - even without smut - in your stories. they might not confess how they're fully feeling (yet), but they don't really need to in order for me to feel the emotions between them. this just makes my heart flutter and yearn 🤍🥺

A bit of topic, but this: "It had been raining and you had used your day off to curl up on the couch and read one of the books on your tbr list." just got me really excited for finishing my master's degree next summer. I can't wait to read an actual book and enjoy it without any stress that I'm technically procrastinating. like, im so excited to not be too exhausted for my tbr list.

back on topic... Paz was usually home by now and even though you were not his girlfriend (which was totally absolutely perfectly fine with you, of course)… GIRL, CAN YOU BOTH PLEASE JUST SAY YOUR UNSPOKEN FEELINGS OUT LOUD AND MAKE IT OFFICIAL

paz coming home and needing stress relief? 10/10. also, i can't fully say why, but the way you describe paz? such a hot, pretty man.

“Stars, that’s just what I needed,” he sighed, his hand cupping your cheek, “that pretty little mouth on my cock. You’re doing so well for me, aren’t you?” AND ALSO “I know I’m very big, sweetheart,” Paz cooed, leaning forward. His hand wandered to the back of your head and you felt surrounded by him in the best way, “Can you try to take me a little deeper? Can I try to fuck your mouth?” may, how am i supposed to go to bed after this???? there's no way my brain will actually turn off, I'll just be mentally stuck right here. like,, this entire smut scene???? i fear i will not recover from this.

LIKE.. "“One day I'm gonna see how deep I can go,” he groaned as you choked on him, “Have your head hanging off the edge of my bed, see if we can make that pretty throat bulge, make that choker stretch, hm?” HUH, officially deceased. Every line I keep thinking „okay that’s it. NOTHING can make me react more than this“ and then I keep getting hit with the next words???

and then,, “Ordering pizza and a movie? We can cuddle and if you want to we can try that thing you’ve been pretending to google secretly?” MAY, i can't 🫠🫠🫠 i will be thinking about this story for forever. somebody please tell me where i find him in real life.

and the ending being all soft and fluffy? i dont know what else to say besides this man (and story) has my heart 🤍

I could keep going cause I just love your writing so much, but this turned out quite long already. So in short: honestly? we both know that i always love your writing but this made me all smiley and giggly and that really is something i needed right now 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 i don't even know how to put it in words how much i love every part of this!!

MY DARLING SARAH!!!

I am doing somewhat okay! I got to see Adele this weekend which was one of the most surreal experiences ever but with the heatwave this week I’m simply just lying on the couch, hoping that I’ll melt into a puddle 🫠

And your lovely lovely comment is not helping because that had melted my heart 🥹😭 I’m so so happy you liked it! Roommate!Paz really is so special and so fun to write 🥹

[sunshinehaze1]

You and me both! Loosen a screw here, put a hole in the wall there. What’s that? A leaky faucet? Better call Joel! 🤣

tysm for reading and reblogging! 🫶🏼

The First Step

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You only wanted to borrow his step ladder, but Joel insists on changing the light bulb for you. You find a way to thank him.

Warnings: 18+, MDNI. no outbreak AU. m!oral, reader has hair that can be tugged, reader is tall enough to suck Joel’s dick while he’s standing on a step ladder. a little competency kink.

a/n: I couldn’t stop thinking about sucking Joel off while he’s being neighborly. Please don’t tell my WIPs I ignored them to write this! 🫣 not beta'd. Feel free to let me know if I missed anything!

word count: 1,373

ao3 | ml

You're perfectly capable of changing the lightbulb in your kitchen yourself. You've lived on your own long enough, handling the odds and ends of home ownership without much fanfare—the big projects reserved for the professionals. So when you had asked your extremely attractive neighbor if you could borrow his stepladder, you surprised yourself when you accepted his offer to change it for you.

When you moved in next door, he was the first neighbor on the street to introduce himself, and you recall his generous offer to help if you ever needed it. Fortunately, you caught him on a Saturday morning when his daughter, Sarah, was at a sleepover the night before. He didn't have to pick her up until noon, so he had the time to help and was more than happy to. He's a contractor after all; he could change a light bulb in his sleep.

It has gotten increasingly warmer since Joel entered your house. Your AC works fine, but you are sweating, gawking at him as he moves through your space. His biceps stretched the sleeves of his T-shirt within an inch of its life as he carried the ladder and situated it below the light fixture in the middle of the kitchen. He's now perched on the ladder with you standing on the other side of the counter.

You watch as he extends his arms above his head to remove the dead bulb, revealing a sliver of tan skin and a trail of thick hair toward the waistband of his sweatpants. You'd think he wore them on purpose, to taunt you, if you hadn't interrupted his quiet morning. And, he couldn't possibly know that you go absolutely feral for men in sweats.

"Shouldn't take me but a minute to change it." The dulcet tone of his southern drawl going straight to your pussy. "Then I'll be out of your hair."

You smile appreciatively, "Thanks, Joel." Hoping he can't sense the hitch in your breath. "You didn't have to do this. But I appreciate it."

"It's my pleasure, sweetheart." He winks down at you. "What are neighbors for?"

This was certainly new for you. You've never had a neighbor as polite and handsome as him. "Sweetheart", and then a wink. Fuck, he's charming and competent. The sudden urge to make a move and suck his cock is overwhelming.

"Could you hand me that one there?" His question jolts you back into the room, and you see Joel pointing to the new lightbulb on your countertop.

Bulb in hand, you approach the ladder and pass it to him. His calloused fingers brush over yours. "Thanks."

You don't back away from the ladder as you watch him insert the new bulb into the light fixture. After the final turn secures it in place, he looks down to see that you haven't moved. Your grip is tight around the ladder's handle, and his bulge is less than an inch from your nose.

Incredulous, he inhales deeply before speaking, "Whatcha still doing down there, darlin'?"

With a coy smile and lustful eyes, "Just admiring the view."

If you hadn't been so close, you would've missed the twitch of Joel's cock below the dangling drawstring. Seemingly, the only part of him that can form a response. His mouth agape, unable to form words before your hands are on him.

You trace the outline of his dick with your finger tip over the soft fabric. It begins to stiffen underneath your touch. His eyes are locked on you as you trace your fingers along the edge of the elastic waistband and his lower stomach. Nails drag through the coarse hair below his belly button, sending shivers up his spine before dipping beneath the elastic waistband.

He doesn't dare avert his gaze as you shift his pants lower on his hips to reveal his black boxer briefs. You palm his cock through the stretchy fabric, your tongue glides over your bottom lip, mouth watering at the feel of him. He's big. Eager to find out just how big, you pull the briefs down just far enough to tuck them underneath his balls.

Your fingers wrap firmly around his base, offering a teasing grip before you move up the length of his shaft. When you reach his thick head, you swipe your thumb through the precum that's leaked from the tip. The added lubrication eases the down stroke back to his base as you feel his cock harden further in your grip.

"Go on, hun." Joel muses breathily. "Wrap those pretty lips around me."

A wicked smile your only retort. You twist and swirl the tip of your tongue up and down the silken skin of his cock. Taking your time as it travels along the prominent vein on the underside. You make your way back up to his head and circle your tongue around it before wrapping your lips fully around him. Inch by inch, you take him further into your mouth.

You set an unhurried pace up and down his length, relishing the taste and feel of him inside your mouth. Slick pools in your panties from the moans Joel releases above you. One of his hands swiftly grips the ladder's handle to balance himself on shaky knees.

You ease off of him, leaving kitten licks over his tip before collecting saliva in your mouth. He lifts the hem of his tshirt just in time to see as string of spit slowly dribble from your lips to his cock. Your palm wraps firmly around him and coats his cock with steady strokes, lifting it towards his stomach, his balls warm and inviting.

With continued strokes, you pull one of his balls into your mouth. Joel's head lolls back at your moan with your mouth full of his balls. Heat roils low in his stomach as it reverberates through his body.

Releasing his balls with a pop, you twist your slicked up palm around the base of his shaft while you slide his cock back into your wet, warm mouth. The weight of his dick rests on your tongue as you relax your throat to take more of him.

"Oh, fuck!" He groans and spits out. Your fingers dig into his ass cheeks to pull him closer until the tip of his cock kisses the back of your throat and your nose is buried in the thatch of hair at his base. His grip on your hair tightens with a pleasurable sting, and his body stiffens. You pause to inhale his scent while savoring the fullness of him inside you.

When the need to catch your breath overcomes you, you pull back quickly. Spit sputtering as you empty your mouth of him. He cradles the back of your head with his large hand, fingers tangling through your hair. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes; he swipes his thumb along the top of your cheek to clear them before they can fall.

"You look so perfect with my cock in your mouth."

You smile at him before you take him back in your mouth and begin sloppily moving back and forth over his cock, cradling his balls in your hand. His moans and groans echo louder throughout the kitchen, and you feel his balls begin to tighten in your palm. You pick up the pace, eager for him to cum so you can drink him down.

Joel gently moves his hips in sync with your movements. Emitting labored grunts with each thrust. His stomach tightens and you feel his cock begin to pulsate on your tongue before he lets out a final grunt and paints the inside of your mouth with his spend.

With hooded lids, he watches as you swallow it down. Met with a beaming smile, he watches as you swipe at the corners of your mouth, sucking the errant spend off your thumb, not letting a drop go to waste.

Joel descends the ladder, tucking himself back into his pants. "Christ, darlin', a 'thank you' would've sufficed." He huffs a laugh. "But you won't hear me complaining."

"Good, because I think I might have another bulb out. Upstairs." You muse innocently and grab his hand to lead him to your bedroom.

Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to know what you think. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! 🫶🏻

[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

I know I already texted you about vampire!paz but I was half-asleep last time, so I just wanted to do this more properly now that I’ve finally got some down time!!

So a couple thoughts I’ve had while reading and since then:

ok so first up, I love the vibe of the speakeasy! Also the whole blood donation thing? Actually really relatable, at this point I would probably at least consider it if I got disposable income out of it (especially if I get paz with it…)

Also vampire powers are so fun to me cause I too would be really fucking confused if someone told me to just utter a safe word without explaining that they have some sort of superhuman hearing abilities

DIN DJARIN MENTION 🥰

also the part of ‚if you didn’t know better you’d have thought he’s a werewolf‘ ABSOLUTELY. I guess that’s stereotyping vampires but damn that man just is so broad it would absolutely make sense to assume 😂

NOT HIM IMMEDIATELY CALLING HER DARLING 🙈🫠

Also girl don’t be embarrassed, I don’t think anyone would be able to not zone out and stare at paz. But also not him being so smug about it 😭

On a different note, technically I can imagine how intimate feeding would be if it’s not … violent but somehow I also didn’t realise until reading this 🙈

NOT THE SMUT VISIONS 😭🫠 girly was so out of it that all potential embarrassment left her body and asked him to sit in his lap???? 10/10

also the surprise on my face when I realised that he was most definitely seeing all of that too???? I need him to stop being so smug cause it’s making me blush too much at this point

love the lore at the end!! Especially the concept of telepathic connection between them 😭

THE CAT!!!! I love biscuits already 🫶🏼

And finally… can I be stuck with him too?? 🙈

You know, when you told me the what this story was gonna be about, I was already intrigued but damn I wasn’t prepared for being even more intrigued after reading it. I’ve literally been thinking about this every day since you posted it !!

the fact that the London Meetup (tm) is confirmed makes this like the best time to answer it!! 👀😂 I am so so happy you liked vampire!Paz!

Honestly, I got the idea from a friend who always goes and donated blood or plasma because the fee you're getting is really good and I just sat in the train like ... "This ... but with Paz ..." and that is how vampire!Paz was born 😂 And like any version of Paz, he needs to have a fluffy companion! I really hope I will write more of him because the ideas I have about Bicuits' shenanigans are insanely hilarious, if I do say so myself lol

And the smut visions will only get worse better realer from here on out 👀👀👀👀

Thank you so so much for reading!!

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

I’ve read what if (part 2) yesterday and I’ve actually been re-reading a bunch of your old stories which is why I didn’t have time to send you a message yesterday 😅🙈 (btw.. roommate!paz is now once again living rent free in my mind)

Now, about what if: I’m just gonna jump right into talking about some of my favourite parts. Mind you, this is a non-conclusive list because (sadly) I can’t just quote every sentence back at you and tell you why I love it or find it funny and relatable, etc. because then this would probably take forever and be an even longer message than it already is 🙈

So here we go:

Somehow that kind of request made you even more nervous. […] You stepped against him, ignoring your shaking hands as you stood on your tiptoes and ran your nose over his neck. Yeah that is way more nerve-wrecking! Just being all up close to his neck? Intimate as fuck (where can I sign up?)

your nose brushing against the spot just under his ear and he groaned. The sound, low and deep, made you tremble. listen may, we’ve barely just started and I’m already going insane 😭 10/10 would love to make this man groan just by doing that.

Paz smelled so much better now that he had a hint of you on him, you found, and you made a mental note to keep up this scenting practice for as long as he would let you. oh reader, I get it. I, too, would fall in love with that man after knowing him for like a day. (Also love the lowkey possessiveness)

“So … no sex then,” you concluded, trying to keep your sadness out of your voice. „Disappointed?“ OH I KNOW HE FELT SMUG ABOUT THAT! The duality of this man to be a big softie and the cockiest man alive? 10/10.

“You are coming to my bunk tonight. You will bring nothing but your softest robe, your favourite snack. I want you naked when I arrive, understand? Naked and waiting for me. […]“ yeah I’m dead now. Following instructions has never been this easy actually. Also the snack part? Big teddy bear man. That’s why I love your Paz.

By now, you knew your friend long enough to know when he was teasing you. And the twinkle in his eyes told you that Chants was in teasing mode. “He is quite big, isn’t he?” way too relatable. if your friends don’t these you when you’re having the biggest crush on a man, are they even your friends? I can’t even be mad at chants cause friendly teasing your friends is funny as fuck 🙈

“I’m just saying,” he shrugged, “I don’t think any of the other alphas left their capes for their calmers. Maybe something is different about you two?” Oh he is in LOVE! Look at the two idiots just being down bad for each other, now they just need to tell the other.

daydreaming about what it could be like to be Paz Vizsla’s omega. Me too, reader. Me too.

You squeaked in surprise when you sank in way more than you had expected. Testing the softness, you found that not only was his bedding incredibly soft, no, but the mattress was much softer than the standard issue as well. Inevitably you smiled at the realization that Paz Vizsla just kept on surprising you. Your big warrior was a big teddy bear. yeah he is! I love the idea of establishing how soft he is via his choice of mattress. Also, there is something so deeply intimate about learning about a person by being in their room. And paz letting reader into his private space without him even being there? You can just tell they are really comfortable with each other 🥺

what if you accidentally had walked into someone else's room who had the same arrangement with their calmer? always funny when there’s a sentence where my brain goes „haha, my anxiety would say that too!“

“Believe it or not I actually like soft things, too.” JUST SAY THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE ALREADY. …Maybe I’m reaching but my brain went „oh soft things .. like LOVE and reader 🤨“

“Maybe I can see your nests, one day,” he suggested lowly, his mouth brushing over your jaw and down your neck. how do you expect me to be normal when I read this?? 🫠

“Someone too shy to say it?” he teased you, the slight mocking undertone making you wetter than you wanted to admit. How did this man have this effect on you? Strong, lovely and in charge? The perfect man actually. Never thought I’d ever appreciate a mocking undertone but damn…

“Now be a good girl for me and play with your tits,” he instructed, his tone leaving no room for questions and you followed. OKAAY, that’s one way to effectively change the conversation 🙈🫠

“Use your words.” Hot. No further notes.

“You just love to embarrass me, don’t you?” […] „I do,” he agreed and could feel his breath on your folds, the breadth of his shoulder between your legs as he slowly thrust his fingers in you, “Something about corrupting a sweet innocent omega like you makes my cock so hard.” I think I might actually never recover from this story. This whole story will probably be stuck on my head for forever now.

Also, hitting me with „“Look at that,” he marvelled, “Yesterday you weren’t sure whether you could come on my fat cock, and now you are begging me to let you come on my tongue.” Another well-placed opened-mouthed kiss against your clit and you broke apart.“ and then „Are you crying, omega?” […] Fuck,” he murmured, his warm forehead falling onto your lower belly, “that shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does.” within like 3 paragraphs??? I don’t even know what to say, this is making me feel so many emotions!!

“You did so good for me,” he repeated affectionately, “’m so proud of you, sweetheart. Using your words, following my instructions.” Again, I don’t know what to say besides.. 🫠

“I want a kiss,” was all you could say and he chuckled, leaning in to give you a kiss that had you sighing against him, melting even more into the sheets. Idk why specifically this part (cause the smut was amazing) but this just gets me so much every time I reread it🥺🥺🥺

And despite the lack of words, it seemed to work.LOOK AT THEIR CONNECTION, THEY DONT NEED WORDS 🥺😭

This was how he was, it occurred to you, that Paz Vizsla did not need to secure his dominance in any sudden way because he was secure in his dominance. It was never even a question for him whether he would be able to pleasure you. oh i hope you know how good you are at writing because I went „oh yeah, 100%. Literally every action by this man so far has been proof of this“

You would let this man do anything to you. if he’s anything like the way you write him? Yes.

“Say it.” if you could see the way I’m blushing right now, I think I would have to disappear forever

„You didn’t take me to the negotiations this morning,” you stated, unable to help the insecurity that scratched at your heart. GOOD JOB GIRLY. Bring back the topic he made you drop by seducing you, now that you can think again!

“Make sure you are okay being seen with a Mandalorian like me.“ okay, what if I start to cry?

And the “Can I kiss you again?” after he gets reassurance? 🥺🥺 I love when characters ask for physical intimacy when they can’t put things into words. Which.. understandable cause words are hard.

So, to sum up my thoughts: 10/10 this is amazing! literally had to stop myself again from including more quotes because I can’t just keep saying „hot“ every two seconds. Actually need these two to realise they are in love and act on it.

So yeah, I hope you had a nice start of the week! Cause I certainly had one thanks to this story

Oh hello! Believe me, I completely understand - I am currently obsessed with roommate!Paz and working on three little things about him at the same time (when, really, I should focus on the last part of What If 😂)

Thank you so much for your lovely comments, I am so so happy that you liked this part! Paz really is just my dream combination of a big, dangerous giant of a man that is secretly very soft for his love 🥺 (That and his skill for dirty talk is 👀🥵)

[zablife]

@feveredvisions Tysm, lovely! I'd never written him this way before and I have to say that the notion of him as not just gruff, but mean intrigued me. (Should prob add more, in fact 🙈)

I Wanna Do Bad Things To You

Alfie x reader (Shelby sister)

Summary: You have a plan to betray your powerful brother with the help of Alfie Solomons, but your impetuous and infuriating behavior is far too dramatic for the mad baker. What happens when he puts you in your place?

Author’s Note: Written for the lovely Alex @cillmequick 6 month milestone celebration. Congrats, darl! Prompt “And what would people say if they listened through the wall?” Oxytocin by Billie Eilish. Inspiration taken from the whole song as well. Porn with little to no plot. Bit of a twisted love story.

Warning: 🔞, language, drinking, smut- impact play, fingering, degradation, orgasm denial, unprotected sex, exhibitionism (if you squint), dom Alfie, mean Alfie

Before Alfie could answer the loud rapping upon his door, it opened suddenly, the fading rays of the afternoon sun outlining your shapely figure in a heavenly glow. However, A Shelby at his door was rarely a good omen and Alfie surmised you were no angel. The ample cleavage spilling over the top of your tightly fitting bodice and the bottle of Irish whisky in your hand only confirmed his suspicions.

Slamming the door behind you, you sauntered toward him confidently, hips swaying seductively with each step. Alfie eyed you suspiciously, pressing the tips of his fingers together in anticipation of some unreasonable demand or another sent straight from Tommy. “Hello, Miss Shelby. To what do I owe the pleasure?” he said greeting you with a tip of his head.

You giggled and shook your head, playfully chiding, “So formal, Alfie. You should call me Y/n.” Alfie watched you remove your coat slowly and throw it over a chair as you continued. “I think we’re going to become very close you and I.”

“And why would that be?” Alfie asked, leaning back in his chair, arms folded over his stomach.

“I have a business proposition for you,” you said with excitement, boldly taking a seat on the edge of his desk. 

Alfie exhaled loudly muttering, “You Shelbys,” with a shake of his head. “Listen, pet, your brothers thieve my oxygen far too much as it is. Never satisfied with their lot. So you can trot on and tell that cunt Tommy we’re done dealin.’” He motioned to the door with a flick of his wrist, turning his attention to the stack of papers at his elbow. 

Undeterred, you placed the whisky bottle on the desk with a thud, running a fingertip around the edge of the cap lazily as you asked, “What if I told you the deal wasn’t with Tommy? I agree that he’s gotten far too greedy and it’s time we did something about that.” You took a breath before emphasizing, “A more permanent solution.” Your eyes flicked to Alfie to gauge his reaction, but he remained impassive. However, he hadn’t thrown you out yet, so you took that as an encouraging sign. 

Opening the bottle before you with a flourish, you grabbed a nearby glass and began pouring a shot. You slid it across the table, presumptuously asking, “A toast to new partners?”

He frowned, sliding it back to you with two fingers. “Nah,” he replied dismissively.

You tossed your head back with a bubbly laugh, kicking off the desk and slowly approaching Alfie’s chair. He tracked your movement with just his eyes, irritation building at your inability to take a hint that he was uninterested in your scheming. He looked you up and down carefully as you stood before him, noticing how you leaned over to ensure he got a look down your dress. 

You smiled to yourself as you traced a manicured hand along his shirt front, toying with the buttons, one by one. “If you find it hard to swallow, I can loosen up your collar,” you offered. You received a short grunt in reply, perhaps his body betraying his logical mind. Picking up the glass, you offered it to him again with a sweet smile. “It’s the first drop that kills you so there’s no harm in the last,” you joked.

“Wasn’t talking about the whisky, was I?” he asked in a low voice. Then pushing your hand away from his chest he added, “I’m sayin’ no to you, treacle.”

Your smile faded as you struggled to comprehend his sudden rejection. You weren’t used to hearing the word no. Standing to your full height, you pursed your lips in obvious displeasure and attempted to regain composure. “Then tell me why,” you said in a tight voice.

“I could write you a book, but I ain’t got the time. Suffice it to say, I just don’t fucking trust you,” he spat, leaning forward and placing his palms on the desk for emphasis. He stood, signaling the end of your meeting, but you were far from done.

“I hate Tommy as much as you do and I can be valuable to you,” you proclaimed, jutting your chin out with haughty insistence.

Alfie scoffed, “Tommy Shelby’s little sister? Darlin’, this is a man’s world.”

Your blood began to boil that you weren’t being taken seriously. With your plan quickly unraveling, you reached for the glass and downed its contents. But the burn of the alcohol only fueled your rage. You hurled the glass against the wall beside Alfie’s head as you shouted, “You arsehole! You don’t know what I’m capable of!”

Faster than you thought possible, Alfie’s heavy boots thudded against the floorboards in warning. Suddenly his hulking form was towering over you, one large calloused hand reaching out to capture both your wrists in one swift movement. His long fingers encircled you like a rope and tightened with considerable strength, eliciting a whimper from you as you fought to free yourself. He jerked you toward him with a grunt, a dangerous gleam in his eye.

You shook your head to move the fringe from your eyes, realizing he was close enough to feel your pounding heart. However, it wasn’t fear that gripped you in that moment. It was pure adrenaline and excitement. You could feel the heat building in your core as you waited to see what he would do. 

Alfie leaned down to speak to you, jaw clenched with fury. “You’re behaving like a fucking child,” he told you in a low voice. His eyes bore a hole through you and the intensity of it was so great you couldn’t look away. Your chest rose and fell against him, breasts pushing against his broad chest.

He took your chin in his hand harshly, eyes narrowing as he searched your face. “Is that how I should treat you? Like a naughty little girl?” You licked your lips as he continued in a hushed voice, hot breath fanning over your face. “Because I have to admit, right now I want to do very bad things to you, you fucking brat.” As he spoke his eyes darkened with unmistakable lust and you were certain he could feel you bending to his will.

You nodded as best you could with his iron like grip on your jaw. "Yes, I want it," you said breathily. Pleased with your submission, he leaned in to kiss you, pressing his full lips to you insistently and pushing his tongue into your warm, waiting mouth. As he began to pull away he bit your bottom lip harshly as he murmured against the swollen flesh, “You should really run away.” But the wickedness of his words had the opposite effect. You were rooted to the spot, ready for your punishment.

He threw your head away hard enough to turn it and you glimpsed shadows through the frosted glass window. Reality came crashing in on you and you bit your lip as you wondered if Alfie’s employees might be able to see or hear you with their boss. Keeping your eyes trained on the door you asked in a quivering voice, “What would people say if they listened through the wall?”

Alfie’s lips brushed your ear as he growled, “I don’t give a fuck who knows I’m ruining you in here. In fact, I wanna make you yell.” The vibration of his voice sent shock waves straight to your pussy and you felt wetness begin to pool between your legs at his debauchery. You rubbed your thighs together to get some much needed friction, too preoccupied to remember Alfie’s earlier promise of punishment.

You heard the jingle of his belt buckle before you saw the flash of silver beneath his palm and you became aware of Alfie removing his belt, easily sliding the leather strap from his waist. Your breath caught in your chest with a little thrill, knowing you’d thoroughly provoked him. In one swift motion he turned you to face his desk and roughly placed your hands onto the polished wooden surface. He wasted no time turning your skirt up over your waist, exposing you to the cold air. The sudden chill hit and a shiver ran through you.

Alfie stood in silence for a few moments, taking in the sight of you laid out before him. A devilish smirk crossed his lips at the thought of you coming in here without any underwear and he realized he was right to assume you were not as innocent as you seemed. He was going to see how much you could take. How far he could push you. He allowed the anticipation to grow, watching you quiver.

The only sounds came from the distillery, grinding machines and men’s voices shouting to one another. Someone dropped a crate of bottles at the bottom of the stairs, distracting you as the first crack of the strap hit your thigh with a painful sting. You gripped the corners of the desk tightly as a tear sprang to your eye, but you didn’t make a sound as the next blow rained down on your ass. Four more fell in rapid succession and Alfie watched the flesh jiggle with satisfaction. Unable to stop himself, he reached out to grab a handful of you and squeezed appreciatively as you whined at the contact, crying out as he kneaded the sensitive flesh in his rough hands. 

The belt dropped to the floor with a clank and he resumed his work, landing a harsh smack along your thigh so close to your pussy, you felt it begin to throb with need. He waited for you to flinch, but you remained perfectly still, wanting to please him. He stood for a moment stroking his beard as he watched you, feeling his trousers tighten, but he wasn’t finished. 

Raising a ringed hand to you once more, he continued, his open palm landing slaps hard enough to move your body forward along the desk, the edge digging into your hipbones. The sound of Alfie’s grunts and groans of exertion behind you had your mind twisted in confusion. You felt your clit pulse, desperate for attention. As he connected with your ass once more, you began to tear up thinking how close his thick fingers were to where you needed them most. Too frustrated and turned on to remain still any longer, you arched your back, letting out a moan so loud it bordered on a shout. 

Alfie stopped with a jerk, stepping toward you slowly and brought a strong arm to your waist to lift you from the desk. He unlaced your dress as he cooed in your ear, “All finished, pet. You took it so well.” He discarded the material on the floor, erection digging into your burning ass cheek as he carefully ran a hand over the other. You hissed as his cool rings made contact with your sore, reddened flesh and you heard him inhale before exclaiming, “Fucking beautiful sight.” The arm around your waist tightened as a cobra around prey, but his voice remained soft as he hushed you, pushing the hair from your shoulders. 

He left a trail of open mouthed kisses down the nape of your neck before moving on to the crease at your shoulder, the tickling sensation making you squirm. His dominance returned as he began sucking a deep bruise into the thin skin along your collarbone. The sudden intensity of it, causing your hands to fly to his arm, digging your nails in sharply. You panted out little moans for him with each swirl of his tongue, every one of your pretty noises making his cock twitch against you. He rewarded you with another bruise below your ear, his free hand rolling and pinching your exposed nipples to feel them stiffen to a pleasing hardness. 

By the time he switched to the other side of your neck, you were thoroughly marked up and bucking wildly against him from overstimulation. The inside of your upper thighs felt slick with arousal and you were clenching around nothing. If this was part of his discipline, it was not what you had bargained for. You waited in agony, needing to feel him seated within you, the comforting fullness stretching you properly. 

Alfie must have read your mind, turning you to face him. He wiped a tear that escaped the corner of your eye, smiling to himself at the sight of your neediness. Then mercifully he ran a finger along your dripping slit to capture your juices, pushing two thick fingers inside your velvet heat to give you some relief. You sighed softly as he curled his fingers inside you dragging against your inner wall slowly until he found a delicious spot that made your jaw drop in silent ecstasy. As he gave a bit more pressure you swallowed harshly, attempting to sink further onto his hand, but he stopped you, clamping his other hand on your hip.

With an obscene squelching sound, he withdrew his fingers cruelly, swirling his fingertips over your clit to tease you. “I think you must be enjoying this cause you’re making a a fucking mess on my desk,” he chided you. He brought his digits to your eye level to show you the juices dripping off him as proof. Then he placed his fingers on your tongue as he commanded, “Clean it up.” You obediently swirled your tongue over his fingers tasting yourself with every lick. Making eye contact with him you gently sucked with hollowed cheeks as you hummed around his digits. The corners of your lips curled, knowing the vibrations were going straight to his aching cock. “Do you like this, naughty girl?” he asked with a dark chuckle. He watched your pupils blow wide and he nodded, “Good, cause we ain’t finished yet.”

He pulled his fingers from you with a pop, smearing saliva and lipstick across your mouth, and you watched with bated breath as he removed his shirt and trousers. The moment you saw his cock spring free, you reached out to touch him, but he swatted you away. His hand wrapped around his shaft, pumping himself in front of you as an added bit of torture before he ordered you to the sofa in the corner. You scrambled to the shabby piece of furniture as Alfie growled, “On your fucking hands and knees.” As soon as you were in place, you felt the springs dip beneath you with his weight and then you felt his warm hand splayed across the small of your back holding you in place.

You felt the tip of his cock slide through your wet folds, gathering your juices and you shimmied your ass to entice him. Suddenly he was pushing into you all at once, his thickness splitting you open around him. Alfie groaned at the sight of you spread wide for him, unable to stop himself from pulling out and slamming back into you to hear you cry out. His animalistic nature took over, driving into you sharply with a snap of his hips, the force of it causing his balls to slap against your clit over and over. The repeated motion had you panting and moaning in no time and you could practically hear the smirk as he rumbled, “Such a pretty little whore. Let me hear ya.” You clenched around him, mewling at the sensation of him thrusting deep enough to feel in your stomach. Alfie stilled momentarily, enjoying the pulse around his cock and making note of how you gripped him like a vice after he degraded you. Fuck, you liked this and he would give you more.

Soon he began to move within you again at a slower pace, dragging his length within you as you arched your back for him. Alfie leaned forward gathering your hair in a makeshift ponytail and gave a harsh tug on your roots. That was all it took for you to push back against him for more greedily. “You get off on being filthy, do ya?” he asked, voice dripping with condescension. You didn’t speak, too overcome by sensation to respond, but Alfie knew your secret now. “Squeezing me so tight, pet. I think you enjoy being a whore for me,” he grunted wrapping your locks around his fist to tilt your head back at a precarious angle.

“Show me now. Make yourself cum on my cock like a good little whore,” he goaded you. You didn’t need to be told again, hand flying to your swollen nub and rubbing tight circles. Your eyes squeezed shut as you listened to the sound of skin on skin echoing in the room. Alfie’s grunts didn’t grow any louder as he sped up his pace, urging you on, but your cries reached a deafening crescendo as you felt your lower belly pool with heat, desperate to be released. 

“Wanna cum. I need to cum, please, please,” you babbled feeling Alfie pound into you with reckless abandon. 

Yanking you up by your hair so your back was flush with his chest, Alfie huffed, “Not yet,” clearly annoyed at your pleas. You bit your lip trying to stave off your orgasm, but it was building faster than you could stop it. Feeling the fluttering resume around his cock, Alfie warned, “You better hold it, naughty girl.”

Reaching behind you to grab onto him for stability you whined, “I can’t…I can’t." Alfie’s balls tightened at the sound of your pathetic cries and his hips stuttered suddenly, rhythm lost in the tidal wave of pleasure threatening to consume him.

Bringing his mouth to the shell of your ear he panted out, “Now…cum right fucking now….with me.” Your fingers flew over your clit, needing only a few light strokes to begin shaking in pleasure. As Alfie released inside you, he bit down on your shoulder. Your jaw went slack as he fucked you through the aftershocks. A primal grunt left his lips at the feeling of your tight pussy milking him of every drop.

Collapsing back onto the sofa, Alfie dragged you with him, making you straddle his lap. You draped your arms around his neck and rested your head on his shoulder, feeling your body becoming heavy with exhaustion. He ran a hand along your back soothingly until your heart rates returned to normal, then you heard his voice low and rasped rumble from deep within his chest. “Fuck me, treacle, I could have you like that every day.”

You smiled to yourself wondering if he might reconsider your earlier offer. You sat up to look him in the eye and in a determined voice you ventured, “Alfie, I meant what I said about getting rid of Tommy. We should be partners.”

“Careful, pet, can’t take it back once it’s been set in motion,” Alfie warned you, a hint of his dark nature returning. Then you felt his hand clamp around your throat possessively as he snaked his tongue into your mouth, sparking a desperate clash for dominance and ending with your eventual surrender for air. 

“You and I are the same, Alfie,” you gasped as you balanced a hand on his sweaty chest. Nuzzling his nose with yours you continued, “We need each other and you know it.” Nibbling at his lip you admitted wantonly, “I like it when you do bad things to me.”

He gripped your face as he forced you to look up at him. “Think you might be right, but let’s get one thing straight cause I’m a dodgy fucker myself. As long as you’re still breathing, don’t ever think of leaving me.” The low rumble of his voice hypnotized you in such a way you couldn’t deny him. You held his intense gaze as you shook your head.

“Never,” you vowed. 

And that’s how the evening began, plotting to take Tommy’s crown so you could become Alfie’s queen.

--------------------------------

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[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

Okay so first things first: I’m sorry about taking so long to do this! But I FINALLY got some time to write down my thoughts for what if (part 1)! Every time I tried to sit down things got hectic again and it’s been annoying me endlessly, cause I’ve been looking forward to this for like 2 weeks now.

I’ve decided to split this up into multiple posts because it got a bit long. I hope that’s okay! 😅 and I think I should also warn you that I’m not the best of putting into words how stories make me feel, but I hope this is getting my feelings across anyway.

First of all: mixing the Calmer AU with a fix it AU? Sign me the fuck up! (Side note: I am almost over what happened in season 3 but only because I’ve lowkey started to view their Paz as the fanon!version of your Paz 😅😅🙈)

Also, another sidenote: I love when your stories feature your characters like chants and briggs because my brain always goes „oooh I know that name“ (same goes for Dreks… who will forever be a dick in every universe). (Part 1/5)

Putting the rest of the asks under a cut because I am LOSING MY MIND THIS IS SO SWEET:

Okay okay, but now for the actual commentary:

“Maybe because they will use any chance they get to exploit the innocent omegas of other clans.”You frowned, not liking any of Axe’s implications. Were omegas of Djarin’s tribe not innocent? Did he think you were incapable of defending yourself?” EXACTLY. AXE NEEDS TO SHUT UP! I was so happy that you immediately noted that cause i legit immediately went „what are you trying to imply, man 🤨“

And about Paz.. him immediately being offended and also „What startled you most, however, was how big that man was.“?? 10/10 no notes, immediately the perfect vibe

And then, „When you heard your name called, it was like you were in the clouds. Far away from everything and everyone. Maybe you could still say no, maybe you could just go and disappear forever. […] What if you weren’t good at the whole claiming thing at all and your failure resulted in a war that was to last centuries?”That is such A MOOD. I, too, would sign up for something and then when it’s happening, realise that it’s real and have my anxiety kick in hard. and the way you describe the feeling is soo realistic??? My anxiety would yell those exact things 😅 (No seriously, I texted my bestie the other day that I’m not prepared for my tutoring session because what if people actually show up 🤦‍♀️)

“Paz Vizsla was a warrior through and through and it showed in the way he was sitting too. He took up almost all the space on the little bench and even when he was sitting down and you were standing up, he seemed so much bigger than you?” HOT. that’s it, that’s my notes on that. 10/10, the size kink for fictional men is clearly a part of my personality now and I am okay with that.

“taken aback by how gentle he sounded. He did not look gentle. He looked dangerous”. Again, 10/10. The appeal of someone looking tough but being a secret teddy bear is honestly always amazing and I love that it’s happening here. (2/5)

“I don’t bite, you know?” “I suppose the helmet would make that very hard,”. THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOUR WRITING 😭 (reason number 1 of ♾️). This genuinely made me laugh out loud. Like, it was funny and also immediately made me go “don’t say that to the intimidating guy, you dumbass 😂”

And then the “Do you not think I should know the name of the omega I am about to make very happy?”???. OKAAAY, no reason to be so cocky my guy. I do love the banter in your stories though. It makes the connection between your characters feel so fun, dynamic and honestly real.

And then you immediately hit me with “as an endearment,” […] “Not because I won't know your name.” I’m pretty sure if you listen closely enough, you can hear me swoon from all the way over here in Vienna, cause I’m now a puddle that is yearning for this man.

And just generally, I love how you make Paz so soft and considerate. (Like making sure that reader is actually fully on board with this). Because that is a big strong warrior and I feel like the obvious way would be to make him just cocky and this intimidating badass (which isn’t a bad thing, if someone wants to write that!) but you just make him feel so grounded and comfortable as a character.

Also, I’m rereading this in order to pull quotes from the text, and I just got hit with “are you wet” and DAMN MAY. I knew that was coming but the mood shift still hit me like it the first time. Again, 10/10.

“Maybe a little bit,” that’s such A LIE! I just know that reader is melting on the inside!

Also, I love when these ‘downplaying moments’ immediately get followed by getting a description of how it definitely affects reader more than they are letting on in that moment. It makes me feel like I have fun inside knowledge. (3/5)

PAZ WITH TATTOOS! PAZ WITH TATTOOS! I LOVE YOUR MIND.

“Shocked at your own daydreams, you tried to focus instead on what you could see and not the images your brain came up with.” Me too, reader. Me too. Very relatable.

“Stars,” he hummed, thick fingers settling on your tongue and pushing down, “I think we are going to have a lot of fun, aren’t we, omega?” genuine question… are you trying to kill me?

I was gonna comment on the next couple sentences as well but I cannot put into words how this makes me feel 🫠

“No one is watching us,” he assured you, pushing his fingers back in your mouth, “No one is looking at you, omega. Wanna know how I know?” […] Because everybody knows I don’t share […]” May, I may not have the words or the knowledge to give actual writing feedback to anyone but I hope you’re aware that your writing is incredible. Because this has me HOOKED.

AND THE “Thank the stars it was you,” he whispered, running his wet fingers over your lips, “I hoped it would be you.” don’t mind me, I’m just crying over here because this is the softest thing ever and I love gentle, sweet men more than anything 😭 and the reassurance that follows like three paragraphs later?? Such a sweet vulnerable moment between Paz and reader that manages the balance between smut and sweetness so well

The trope of “what if it won’t fit?” gf x “I will make it fit” bf? Made for Paz and I will stand by that statement. And just… the smut? I can’t quote it here because it makes me blush and stare at the screen too much but damn… I love your writing so much 😭

And lastly, the last paragraph: nothing better than having the gentle giant calling his partner “love”🥺 (4/5)

Okay, so this was my (not so) condensed review of the new story. I had to try very hard to not just quote every line and tell you why I love it and why I think it’s works so well 😅

Anyway, final thoughts because this is soo long already:

10/10. I genuinely love your writing and this story is just another example why I love it. The way you write makes me actually experience the emotions while reading and be completely submersed in the story. Also, I am not at all a reader of romance novels (or generally books where romance is the main plot), but if you were to ever write a full on romance novel (or any book for that matter), I promise I would be the first person in line to buy it and tell everyone about it. Just like I will always be excited to read any story you want to share here on tumblr/ao3! You’re truly one of my favourite authors and I hope you know that your work will always be appreciated 🧡🧡🧡 (5/5)

___ HOw dare you ask me how I am doing when this basically made me cry in public 🥺😭 Reading this is EVERYTHING and just reminds me every time why I love to share my writing with you all. It made my entire weekend!!!! I am so happy you liked and I am so so so so SO lucky to have people liek you engage with my little ramblings on the internet 🥺

[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

I just opened tumblr cause I wanted to tell you something but I’ll do that in a second message in a second, because I saw your new stories and this has priority!

First, the new boba story??? Insane. Didn’t know I needed this in my life but I absolutely did 🫠 one of the things I liked best (you know .. besides everything) was how he initially turned the offer down, and only went for it after it was clear that this was more than that. Cause like.. the teasing but also the respect in that moment? 10/10.

And then I see the Paz idea about underwear modeling??? I hope you know that this will haunt my dreams for forever now 🙈🫠

Helloooo! Oh what a pleasure it is to see your name in my inbox, I hope you’re doing well! 🥰 I’m so excited you liked the Boba story and noticed the little rejection detail 👀 That was really important to me because we all know he is an absolute King when it comes to consent and I think it’s super important to know that Reader really wants it 👀👀

As for the Paz idea …. Girl, I just had another filthy idea for that which I’ll post in a second because it literally has me blushing 😳 (also not sure if it’ll belong to the model idea or just a separate one altogether, we’ll see …)

[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

Omg the way that new boba story made me go through so many emotions, like..The way I was so shocked when I read that he just went to sleep somewhere else 😭 like read the room man, nobody wanted you to leave!

And this: „Turns out, having his scent envelope you completely made staying mad at him significantly harder than you had been prepared for.“ made me laugh cause I was like hell yeah stay mad only to immediately go oh yeah that’s so relatable, there’s no way to stay mad like this 😂.

Everything that followed? Also Just so so good🙈

Hi my dear! I am doing good, how are you?

I am so happy you like part 2 of apocalypse!Boba! I like to think that he went and sat under a tree and tried to convince himself that he made the right decision while also knowing that his omega would have much rather have him stay with her 😂💀

[feelmyskinonyourskin]

Ha thanks. I wish it were that easy. But anyway yeah Frank being like “shit I gotta hold her back” is golden

Judex, Judicum, Infantem - Chapter 11

(Eventual)Reader x Matt Murdock x Frank Castle

previous chapter | next chapter | series masterlist | my masterlist

summary: The three of you finally start to discuss what life will look like going forward.

warnings: AFAB Reader. Pregnancy. No use of Y/N.

notes: This one is shorter than I wanted, but it's been ages since I've gotten anything up and I just wanted to give you guys something! I've just been stupid busy lately. There's a whole 'nother section that was supposed to be part of this chapter but will have to come in the next chapter because I just have not had the time to do anything but jot down quick thoughts but not really dig in a write and edit. So sorry! I promise I'll try and get more up soon!

w/c: 2,722

*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on Tumblr to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platforms I currently post on are Tumblr and AO3. Thanks*

“Still think Francine is a cute name.”

“Oh my god, Frank. No.” Matt scoffed

“Is this really the priority right now?!” you questioned

Frank simply shrugged.

The three of you sat around the kitchen island still, sun now long disappeared over the horizon. Bouts of uncomfortable silence settled between the three of you since you’d arrived home and you’d done your best not to fill the voids of awkwardness with babbling useless jargon as you usually did. You were doing okay. You thought.

You’d spent the last hour or so recapping how you found out about your pregnancy and all the milestones and appointments Frank missed, wanting to make sure all three of you were up to speed and on the same page before digging into all the stuff you desperately wanted to avoid hashing out.

As you swiveled back on forth on the bar stool, leaning lazily on the island of the kitchen with one hand supporting your head, you could tell Matt was debating if he wanted to say something or not. He’d been oddly quiet all evening despite the way he fidgeted and chewed on his lip. He even did the dishes without a word while you gave Frank the recap.

Matt could taste the blood in his mouth, all coppery and tart as he bit into the side of his cheek. He’d hidden himself behind his glasses since you’d come home, using his armor of crimson used to shield himself anytime he couldn’t hide his soul behind the horned mask. As if you couldn’t already see right through him; feelings painted all over him in the way he teetered between each of his feet, rocking on the balls of them as he stood across from you behind the counter.

Frank was no better. Never one for many words or digging into the difficult feelings of being human, his eyes remained downward into his beer bottle, for fear of what your eyes might tell him if he dared look into them. To see the hurt and pain he caused by disappearing was more than his broken body could handle. So they both silenced their words and let you speak, behaving like two children being sent to the principles office and getting scolded.

“Matthew…” you goaded

He sighed deeply, taking a big gulp of his whiskey before speaking. The way the ice cubes clinked and clanked against the side of the glass felt like a thousand needles in your ear drums as Matt absentmindedly swished the glass around. Pregnancy had certainly heightened all your senses and made every bit of overstimulation that much more irritating. You might’ve felt bad that this was how Matt lived his life every day, constantly aware of every noise and smell, if you weren’t so damn pissed off at him still. The way Frank gulped after every swig he took of his beer certainly also wasn’t helping the situation.

The “shit they were doing to piss you off” list was getting longer; having to add them drinking right in your face when you couldn’t relatively low to the growing catalogue of things to be discussed. It wasn’t fair to you at all considering they were at fault for knocking you up in the first place.

“Frank and I were talking while you were out.” Matt almost stuttered

“Oh goody, can’t wait to hear what you two argued about.”

His nervousness etched on his face with a crumpled brow and a thick lick of his lips.

“We didn’t— we just…” another hearty sighed escaped from him. He shook his head to gather his thoughts “I was just— we were just thinking. If you want some space— from either of us. I mean, if you don’t want to be together—”

“I’m not breaking up with you Matthew.” you assured, annoyed that he would even suggest it

“Right.” he nodded, trying to hide the relief in his voice as it washed over him like an aloe salve

“But you lied to me. And you need to do some serious work to regain my trust.”

“How? I— I’ll do anything.”

“I don’t think that’s really fair for me to decide. You get to hurt me and put the onus on me to fix it?”

“Right.”

More silence filled the room. Despite how drafty and large the apartment was, it might as well have been a broiler with how stuffy it felt.

“I’m already really overwhelmed— you know thinking of all the shit that needs done before this baby comes. I really don’t have time to gentle parent you into being a decent partner.”

“What all is overwhelming you, baby?” Matt asked, voice staying soft despite how venomous your attitude remained, taking his verbal beating like the champ his daddy raised him to be.

“Well, we’ve got to figure this shit out.” you gestured between the three of you “We haven’t even looked at nursery furniture yet and Colleen is hounding me for a registry list. And then there’s parenting styles, sleep schedules, feeding habits— not to mention how Frank is going to fit into all of this now that he’s back and I assume still wanting to stay, despite the fucking circus we’ve got here.”

Frank nodded gently.

“Plus, the New York daycare scene is brutal. We should have been applying weeks ago. We haven’t talked about that either, what our childcare plan is once she’s here.”

“Okay. Okay.” Matt resigned, throwing a hand up “Let’s tackle one thing at a time.”

“Oh, and I still haven’t met your mom which feels like it would have been an easier thing to do before I was popped like a blimp and the other baby daddy showed up. How you gonna explain that to her, huh? ‘This is my girlfriend and yeah she’s got a kid in there; might be his, might be mine, who knows she just couldn’t keep her legs closed?”

“Really?!” Matt interjected with a raised voice just as Frank shouted out a “Woah!”

“She does that shit for you too, huh, Red?” Frank asked

“The little comments to get you to argue with her? Yeah, I fucking hate it when she does that.”

“Yeah, but you let her.”

“How am I supposed to stop her? What, you want me to duct tape her mouth shut?”

“Ain’t saying that, just saying—”

“Guys!” you interrupted just as Frank stood to try and get in Matt’s face “As kinky and fun as that sounds, not the fucking point right now!”

The way Frank looked you up and down nearly broke you. Every time you downplayed yourself, both of them were unhappy; but Frank— you might as well have kicked a puppy in front of him with how downtrodden his eyes looked. He dipped his head as he returned to his seat beside you, running a comforting hand against your arm as he did.

You couldn’t help but smirk at the way Matt’s knuckles turned white against his glass at the simple gesture. You weren’t sure when you’d be over this; when you’d be done punishing him for the lies. But not any time soon.

“Just to be clear — Matthew, you said you didn’t want a paternity test back when I first told you I was pregnant. Is that still the case?”

“Yes.”

“And Frank? You said you didn’t want one either. That still good with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Great, so we’re gonna Mamma Mia it.”

“Only if I get to be Pierce Brosnan.” Frank said, sarcastically

“You know that movie?” you asked

“I used to be fun.”

Picturing Frank doing something as normal as seeing a movie, much less a light-hearted movie musical, was difficult to do. You knew Matt wasn’t big on movies, audio descriptions for most lacking any reliability to actually help him picture whatever was going on. But Frank didn’t seem like the type either. You were more used to seeing him with a worn paper back in his hands, looking like an ancient Greek philosopher deep in study with his sturdy brow crumpled as his glossy eyes scanned each word with intent.

You had to imagine Maria had dragged him to see it when it was in theaters, knowing it wouldn’t have been his first pick to see voluntarily. You’d only ever seen this version of Frank, war-torn and grief driven, living in the shadows and only existing for whatever self-imposed mission was next. It felt incorrect to think of him doing something as normal as going on a date with his wife to the movies.

The thought filled you with indescribable joy though, hoping that maybe raising your daughter would keep dragging Frank back into the light and you’d get to see more of those glimmers of normalcy.

Shit, maybe if life got stable enough, you could even convince both of them to see a Broadway show some time. That’d be a sight; a lady with a baby and her blind lawyer boyfriend their retired Marine, all beefy and broad-shouldered squished in the old, tiny seats that filled the theatres just a few blocks east of here, all the while everyone around him singing and clapping.

The laughter that bubbled up at the thought of Frank in that scenario was warm, a much needed reprieve from the seriousness of the discussion you were currently having. Frank let out a dry chuckle himself, fondly thinking back to who he used to be. And Matt couldn’t help but join in the laughter as well, overall demeanor growing lighter each second. The three of you around the kitchen island, sharing giggles together, it was the first time you felt comfortable and safe since Frank had returned.

“It’s gonna make deciding who goes on the birth certificate harder, that’s for sure.” you replied still chuckling

“He is.” Frank spoke decidedly, nodding toward Matt

“No, Frank— we can talk about it more.” Matt interjected

The fact that Matt was even willing to discuss the subject more and not immediately take the opportunity to subtly mark his territory by being the one on the baby’s birth certificate shocked you. Maybe he was just trying to get back on your good side via playing nice with Frank.

“Nothin’ to talk about. My name poppin’ up on anything— ain’t exactly the kind of attention we want.” Frank explained, the crestfallen expression on his face apparent despite his attempt to hide it with a large drink of his beer

“Frank, I do recall as your legal counsel that you received a presidential pardon for uncovering a major conspiracy in Kandahar. If you’re worried about any legal entities finding you, they don’t really have grounds to now.”

“They do. Come on Red, you know I’ve done a lot of shit since then that could get me put away. Think I’m out of favors with my friends at the CIA too. Besides, I still got a lot of enemies out there, so it’s best if we keep my name as far away from our daughter’s as possible.”

“What about the fake passport you have?” you asked

“No.” Matt shook his head “Peter Castiglione isn’t real. That could cause issues down the line for all of us legally if that name goes on her birth certificate.”

“Frank—” you pushed back

“Look, I’m gonna be here in her life and that’s enough for me. Red can handle all the legal shit. So quit arguin’. Both of you.”

“Not like that’s what I do for a living or anything…” Matt mumbled under his breath

“Would you at least feel comfortable living with us once she’s born? Or would that also be a bad idea? I’d like as many hands on deck with a newborn, but I also don’t want to risk her safety.”

You ignored the way Matt grimaced at your request and instead focused on Frank. His eyes finally flickered up to meet yours, rich maple twinkling with how moved he was by the question.

“I think, keeping some of my safe houses ain’t a bad idea if I need to lay low every once in a while. But yeah, I want to live here. With her.”

The words “And with you” hung silently, implied in the space between his words and his exhale. The way his tongue slipped out, wetting his mouth quickly while he looked you up and down, you swore you heard him whisper it. But you know he didn’t based on the lack of reaction from Mr. Bat Ears across from you.

Safe houses. Laying low.

No matter how many things you got worked out about sharing your daughter’s life with each of these men, there would always be the one thing waiting to destroy any happiness you could build: Daredevil and The Punisher.

That answered the question you’d been avoiding— Frank wasn’t going to quit. Based on the argument you’d had last night with Matt, it didn’t seem like he was going to either.

You couldn’t ask either of them to; it was crucial to the core of who each of them were and you didn’t want to take that away from them.

Every time you thought about it though, the fear gripped you like vines overgrowing and choking a flower. Either of them getting caught would land them in prison and out of your daughters life. No matter what age she was that king of turmoil would irreparably wound both you and her. Heaven forbid if one of them died while out. You couldn’t bare to even think of it.

“Matthew, you clearly have something to say.”

“We’re gonna need a bigger apartment.” Matt responded, clipped and cold tone indicating he was not happy about the arrangement, but also avoiding speaking his true feelings to prevent another argument

“Ain’t gotta do that. I can make do on the couch.” Frank argued

“Francis, this is a non-negotiable.” you ordered “The couch is fine while you heal, but yeah. You’ll need a room and a decent bed for the long term. So, bigger apartment it is.”

“Okay.”

His acquiescence provided you with a small sense of relief, filling in the hollow spaces left from the stress of the past day. The limited sleep you got this morning was finally starting to catch up to you as the amber glow from the pendants in the kitchen lulled you further into exhaustion.

The thought of moving again so soon after packing up your life into boxes once was daunting. Not to mention navigating the awkwardness of the arrangement— Frank having to watch every day as you and Matt carried on like the happy couple you were (or were hopefully going to get back to.) Agreeing on how all three of you wanted to parent your daughter as she grew up and having to explain it all to her would be tricky to navigate too.

Trying not to give into the overwhelm of everything there still was to figure out, you laid your head on the counter. The stone slab was cool against your skin and almost energized you enough to keep talking until dawn.

“You should get to bed soon, sweetheart.” Matt commented softly

“We all should.” you hummed in agreement

“About that...” Matt sighed

You lifted your head in a rush, tiredness melting away as you watched the way Matt tilted his head downward and pursed his lips.

“What?”

“For the sake of honesty—”

“You’re going back out tonight.”

Matt nodded, flinching slightly as you leaned forward just in case you were ready to throw anything else his way.

“Why?

“Angela.”

“What happened last night?”

“She’s okay.” Matt reassured “But the thing Hector was investigating? There’s a serial killer out there. I mean you know, other than Frank.”

Dread washed over you at his words. Great, another person out there to be a danger to your child. Was the world always this scary or did it suddenly get worse now that this little life was going to enter it soon?

Frank cleared his throat, obviously annoyed by Matt’s little jab.

“When were you going to tell me this?” you asked

“Well, I really haven’t had the time between making sure Frank didn’t die on our couch and having a toaster thrown at my head.”

“I could’ve done worse, Murdock.”

“I know.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

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[maybege]

Okay so, I finally had time to read the new roommate!paz story and omg I don’t even know where to start. It’s great!!

I’ve loved your Roommate!paz idea since you first mentioned it but damn I was not prepared for this 🫠🥺

Like: „Man opinion, he scoffed internally, already feeling his cock twitch because he knew you were about to show him something that would haunt him in his dreams. But he nodded anyway because he was a lovesick idiot who would do anything to just get a glimpse of your bare skin.“

And also:

“Don’t you want me to wear pretty things?”

“Yeah,” he said, reaching out his hand and putting it on your hip, “But only for me.”

After that? I am obsessed, this will be what I daydream about for at least the next week, no doubt.

Also, as always, Dreks can just fuck off immediately

Ahhh Sarah thank you so much!! 🥹♥️ I’m so happy you liked it! And I was ridiculously happy to be able to bring Dreks back to make us all hate him even more 😂