#you know. the exercises you think are super simple until you do them and it turns out oops the human brain's fucked and you can't do it!

[lgbtlunaverse]

Shocked to report that this works. I just wrote 1.8K words in the span of one and a half hours and got past the part I've been stuck on for over a week.

(tweet 1) (tweet 2) (article)

[moondirti]

I just know, in my heart of hearts, that those men can bench press a bull but have zeeeeero flexibility/mobility because they don't train it. Pigeon pose? Can barely get their elbows on the floor. Half splits? More like quarter splits. Camel pose? They have already given up.

Cue: yogi/dancer reader, determined to get them to take care of their bodies by teaching the powers of Stretching Properly. And maybe also showing off a little bit...

yoga! reader is brought on to teach the boys how to manage stress through wellness exercises. they’re just so used to the rough and tumble, the physical demands that beat them to a pulp, that it’s almost a necessity at this point. like yeah, they’re complete units, but that doesn’t account for shit when their backs ache so bad in their 30’s and their knees pop every time they crouch – not to mention, how high their blood pressure is from all the exertion.

you’re the top instructor in the region, vetted by laswell and sent to base twice a week to host 90-minute ashtanga classes. which is a form of yoga that doubles as an excellent introduction into flexibility and posturing, or so you tell the begrudging men upon meeting them

though i can't stop picturing what type of student each of them would be–

gaz is a teachers pet, without a doubt. not lacking the reservations the others hold, but willing to try once he sees you bend over in a pair of skin-tight leggings the first time. brings you water and snack bars without having to ask. is the first to arrive to your sessions, even earlier than you do sometimes, and rolls his mat out right behind yours (which he claims is the best spot to get a sense of what you're doing – uncontested, seeing as he mimics you perfectly every time – but it's really because it has the best view of your ass). starts practicing alone in his room so he can impress you with a super cool pose that he totally didn't get off the internet, and ends up spraining his wrist because said pose actually isn't meant for rookies like him! pouts when you scold him the next day – there's a reason i didn't teach it, garrick – and spends the rest of the month sulking after you demote him to simple stretches.

soap doesn't try to hide his intentions. he's outwardly flirty in every capacity imaginable. the logic is, if he's being forced to come here, why pretend he's interested in anything other than the pretty thing teaching him? will pull up in the sluttiest shorts imaginable – i'm talking the tightest hoochie daddy pair in his closet – and a white undershirt, every muscle flexed to its limits. flashes you a big smile when you roll your eyes at his appearance and asks if you'd like to touch them. nae many men are built lik' me, bonnie. might nae git this chance again. definitely pretends to struggle to beckon your attention, despite being the most flexible of the 141. throws a fuss every time you instruct them to take a pyramid pose, complains until you personally position him. huffs and groans as your hands pull his legs the correct distance apart, taking note of the flustered furrow of your brow so when he approaches you after class, he has something to build his advances off of.

price pretends he's far above this whole affair, even though he's the one who needs it the most. will chuckle condescendingly when you ask why he's just sitting to the side, a cigar in hand as he 'supervises' the activities. don' get me wrong, lovie. s'sweet how dedicated you are. but i'm not subscribing to none of this... mm, business. you think it's a masculinity thing – older men are usually more averse to embracing yoga, seeing as it's a female-dominated exercise and they were raised in households that barred that sort of thing. in reality, price is just hesitant to make a fool of himself in front of his men. his joints creak when he moves and he can't touch his toes without toppling over, never mind contorting into intricate poses. the misunderstanding sets off more than one disagreement, and after a particularly rough day – wherein the two of you hashed it out in front of everybody – he starts to feel a tiny bit guilty. you're trying so hard, after all, driving out all this way to help some poor sods get over their physical impediments. so he opts to catch you on your way out to the parking lot, confessing the real reason why his participation is lacking before inviting you to his office for a private session.

ghost doesn't show up. no, seriously. you never see him, though you're aware of his absence; your attendance lists four soldiers, after all. you give him the benefit of the doubt for three weeks before reporting to laswell of his failure to meet expectations – only to be accosted by a big man in a skull balaclava on your way out. if y'wanted to me to watch you bend over so badly, pet, all you had ta do was ask.

[weaselle]

I am not a dog whisperer. I know each is an individual but I cannot “understand “ dog. How do you train dogs to stay in the van? Mine wants out before I have even one foot on the ground when we stop.

i've been thinking about this all day. I do want to help people with their dogs, but. Can I?

For everyone else, this is in response to my post about how all dog walkers are also dog trainers if they are doing their job right, where i mention my van full of dogs waiting until each one is leashed and invited out of the van individually.

I did also, as referenced above, say that the real trick to training dogs is to get to know the dogs individually, and that this is the reason dog trainers can't take a simple question about how to train a dog and give a simple answer.

Which is true.

And does make this a tricky ask to answer well. It's sort of like asking how do you help a kid who's having trouble understanding math. There's no one answer.

So. With that in mind, i want to talk about training in general mostly, instead of training any one dog for any one thing.

There is a nice basic thing you can do to set yourself up to be able to communicate something to your dog:

Take a treat, ask your dog to sit, move the treat toward their mouth at a quite slow but steady pace. When they bounce up out of the sit to try to get the treat, make a disapproving noise (I usually make kind of an "ach" sound) and either stop moving the treat or take it back to it's starting position.

Tell them to sit again. When they sit, start moving the treat slowly down toward them again. If they stop sitting the treat stops, if they move toward the treat it goes away. Ideally there will come a moment when they juuust start to lift their butt and you juust stop moving the treat and they think about it and sit back down and you keep moving the treat toward them.

This exercise communicates an expectation, a situation, a course of action. Like, just by my describing the exercise to you, you understand what is being communicated too, even if you might struggle to put it exactly into words

once you know they understand the concept, try to pace the treat movement so they succeed a few times. Like, you can speed it up a little to be sure you get it to them before they get too excited and come up out of their sit. You want a chance to prove to them a few times that if they stay sitting they do get the treat. Then slow it way down and make them prove they will stay in a sit until the treat gets there even if it takes a while. And hey, even though the treat stays the same, the praise gets better the longer they wait! right? good.

That's communication, baybee!

Of course, not every dog will have the right mentality for this sit/treat exercise to work, but if you understand the basics of what it is trying to communicate, it can still be your template for trying to communicate that thing to your dog. And once they understand it about one thing, it starts to be easier to tell it to them about other things.

I don't work with treats because i walk three large packs of dogs (often as many as ten at once) and the roster changes, sometimes a tues/thurs dog needs to bump to a wednesday or whatever, so the dogs aren't always super used to each other. If there's a sudden discovery of food aggression or resource guarding or just plain "i don't trust or like you" behavior that can come out around high value food items like treats, well, i can't work on any training about that without risking injury to the other dogs. I have good friends who walk dogs who work with treats and who are excellent dog trainers and that works for them in their situations, so i'm not saying it's wrong to work with treats as a dog walker, i'm just saying it's wrong for me.

So i do all my professional training without treats. And that means I have to identify what the dogs want and show them i control it and then demand specific behavior to access it.

So, lets say i'm getting a dog ready to go and this dog wants to rush out the gate at full speed as soon as it's open enough for them to squeeze through. And i don't want them to.

I identify what they really want. They really want to get through the gate. So getting through the gate is the treat. Actually, the way a dog works, getting closer to getting out the gate is a treat. I make that conditional on a behavior i want, and then i'll play out the scenario in slow motion and play hotter/colder with it until they do the thing i want. Looks like this:

I'll initiate the situation (put my hand on the latch) and then when they rush right up to the gate i'll make a disapproving noise and move my hand off the latch. I'll wait a beat (this is to give them just a moment to figure it out or make a decision, and i try to build these moments into as much of my training as possible) Then i'll use my entire body to move them back from the gate, sort of the way i'd open a door with my butt if my hands were full (this is a version of a thing called body blocking that doesn't always involve touching but is physical communication based on what you are doing with your body) I'll wait until i can get them to just stand there without me touching them before i start over and reach for the latch again.

This is where they get focused, because the gate isn't even close to open yet, so they aren't too excited to pay attention. You need them to give you the behavior you want before you start doing the thing that makes them excited. The more excited they are the harder it is for you to communicate or intervene, and it's easier for them to just maintain a current behavior than to change an excited behavior. In this case we'll say the behavior you want is staying calmly behind you until you tell them they can come out the gate, so you make them stay calmly behind you before you even start opening the gate.

The dog wants the gate to be open. The gate opens slowly. The dog starts moving toward it, the gate starts closing. The dog goes back to what it was doing when the gate was opening, and the gate starts opening once more.

Dogs understand this situation pretty quickly.

Then, when it's open, before i tell them they can go, if they start to move toward the gate i will physically move my body to block them from getting out the open gate. If they try hard enough to make this difficult for me, i simply close the gate again.

You can't do this for all the things you want to train for, and it doesn't work for every dog, but it is pretty likely you can do some variation of this basic communication with most dogs to accomplish many situational behaviors.

Like, for example, not leaping out of your car.

Or take jumping up on people. What the dog wants is to put its face near your face. You can let that happen without them jumping by slowly crouching down to let them sniff your ear and lick your cheek or whatever (my dogs aren't allowed to lick my mouth, but they can lick my face, unless they are like the twin beagles i walk, who are disgusting poop eaters and aren't allowed to lick me at all). Anyway, if they sit calmly you continue to crouch toward them slowly, if they come out of a sit, you stand back up. If they stay calmly sitting what they want gets closer to happening, if they try to jump or anything, what they want goes away. This is the kind of communication dogs understand very fast.

And let me also say, you have to show them you are paying very close attention to them. If you want them calmly standing still and they even LEAN forward, you want to let them know you saw that, you want to acknowledge that, whether with a little noise or a look, or pausing the activity for a second, or whatever. That lean forward is communication from them, and responding to it shows you are participating fully, that you are paying attention to them. This will usually automatically make them pay more attention to you back.

and it's communication you do understand. A lot of people think it's some kind of secret dog code. True, there are a few things to know that are like dog language but MOST of it is like, if the dog sees something she wants to eat or fight, and she leans toward it, she is (literally) getting closer to trying to eat or fight it. You can tell what's going on pretty easy if you see it. Like, if every part of a dog's face (nose, eyes, ears) is pointed at a single thing with laser focus, it is highly interested in, or even having strong feelings about, that thing. Your dog is telling you this clear as day, and all you have to do is notice, there's really not that much deciphering.

That early intervention / close attention thing is huge in any training situation. I work with my dogs to not bark at other dogs, and so when i see a dog a block away, i'm already looking at my problem dogs, and when i see that they see the other dog, i say their name, not mad, just, i see you, i'm watching you. I'm aware of both you and that other dog, and i have my eye on you about it. If they stand very tense with their ears and tail hard up, that's already too much, that's already breaking the rules, and I'll let them know i disapprove. That's as rude as walking right up to someone and silently staring hard at them in their face. Imagine if some one did that to you in public?

See, a lot of times when two leashed dogs cross paths and one of them starts barking, it was actually the OTHER dog that started shit, really. And if i have an easily offended dog, i have to convince them to not go off about it. And the way i do that is, I Am In Charge of Public Interactions when the pack is with me. Other dogs other people, they are not allowed to interact with the dogs, all interactions come through me. And the same goes for my pack, they do not interact with dogs or bikers or people. That is my job. They are not allowed to. And my other job is making sure everybody in the pack maintains behavior standards. So.

Anyway, the earlier you start the dialogue, the easier it is to get them to listen. By the time they are already standing on their hind legs against the leash barking, it is far too late to communicate anything to them, they are lost in the sauce of adrenalized action.

What i think of as "getting in early" allows for a full range of communication. When i get in early i can say "Bubba, i see you" in a very lightly disapproving tone and it's usually quite effective because Bubba isn't overly excited yet and knows i am paying attention. When it's not effective, and now he's at step 2 out of 5 in the escalation toward the thing he's not allowed to do, I can give the leash a tiny tug and put just the smallest edge to my voice when I say, still pretty lightly, "don't do it Bubba." See, we're just having a conversation, neither of us is barking or growling yet. And believe me, your shout is a bark and your angry voice is a growl to them just as much as we understand a growl to be their angry voice. Give yourself as much space as possible to talk before the two of you get to that point

That said, there have been a few dogs that superman-leapt from the van a couple of times, and those are dogs i had to catch mid jump and sort of toss back in the van, and then stand blocking the van door staring full at them until i was sure they weren't getting ready to try again. You do have to control the situation.

hope that helps!

[sutherkins]

what dating peter sutherland is like part two 💌

• be prepared to have everything done for you whether you ask him to do it or not

• did you offhandedly mention the list of chores you need to do? dont worry about it, peters got it covered

• he likes to cook for you

• before he started dating you, he actually had no clue how to cook anything that wasnt super simple like boxed pasta

• in the early stages of the relationship he took cooking classes to get better and while hes not a professional, he can make you some pretty good homemade meals

• in return, you like to exercise your hobby for baking and make him a lot of sweet treats

• he loves watching competitive baking/cooking shows and no one can tell me otherwise

• you both love to watch them together and will wait until both of you are free to catch up on any episodes you missed

• he’s extremely supportive

• going to a pride parade? he’s there to support you (and everyone there) and have fun!

• a protest perhaps? he’ll stand right next to you with his own sign

• he loves dogs

• he loves being in nature

• any time he gets hurt he recites the names of his favorite basketball players to distract himself from the pain

• his favorite place to be is with you at his cabin

• he loves to give you gifts every once in a while especially if he notices that you’ve been eyeing something specific but havent gotten it for yourself yet

• staying in with you is his preferred way to have a date, hes not fond of being around people too much

• he’ll 100% take you to a restaurant, fancy or otherwise, if you want him to

• most of the time theyre diners or small businesses

• peter knows what having a panic attack is like so he for sure will help you out and have techniques and methods for you to try when you’re having one yourself

• this is inspired by @underoospeterparker wonderful period comfort fic that i requested and its that he will literally take care of Everything

• he’ll put a pad in your underwear for you so it’s all ready to go when you need it

• he’ll warm up a heating pad as soon as you ask

• buys you your favorite snacks and some extra pads or tampons (or whatever you use) when you start your period

• peter is like a human furnace so you like to lay on top of him like he’s a living heating pad for your tummy — he enjoys it very much

• he drives you to your therapy appointments and waits in the car until youre done

• he never asks what you talk about in therapy but you usually tell him anyway

• there arent really any secrets between the two of you

• there might have been some things neither of you wanted to talk about at first but eventually you both share them with one another

• peter is actually really funny and always tries to make you laugh

• playing against you is the only time he feels like he’s good at basketball 😭

• “you’re the one who didnt get into the nba!”

• “at least im tall enough to qualify!”

• he pokes fun at your short stature whenever he can

• peter is 6ft tall so he towers over you

• as hot as he thinks you look when you’re wearing his clothes he also finds it hilarious because theyre so long on you

• shirts? they reach your knees

• pants? always have to be rolled up at your hip otherwise you’ll step on the fabric at the bottom and trip yourself (you did this once and peter was very concerned but also couldnt stop laughing)

• he doesnt look after himself the way you think he should, so you’re always paying attention and making sure he’s eating/hydrating when he needs to and getting enough sleep

• i feel like one year for halloween you make him dress like spiderman because they have the same name and you dress as mary jane and do the iconic upside down spiderman kiss

• you’ve basically christened every single room in his apartment

• he might not like every single hobby you have or everything you have an interest in but he’ll always participate if you ask and you do the same for him

• you own skin safe markers and sometimes when you get bored you like to color in his tattoos. he actually really enjoys it and finds it relaxing

• speaking of tattoos

• when he realizes that you’re the one for him and that he wants to be with you for the rest of his life, he gets a tattoo of your initials on his arm

• when you find out about the tattoo you immediately book an appointment for yourself so you can get his initials tattooed on your hip or maybe your wrist

• when he sees it for the first time he thinks its so sexy that you have his initials permanently on your skin that he makes you orgasm like 5 times

• he knows you love homemade personal care products (soap, bath bombs, things like that) and will buy them for you all the time

• you always call him on your way home from work or whatever it is your doing that day and if you’re stressed he’ll set up a relaxing bath for you for when you get home

• and he goes all out

• he goes through your stash of products and even has new ones ready to add to your collection, a nice lavender bath bomb, some rose petals, ect

• he sets up a speaker to play relaxing music and even puts a small table next to the tub thats got some of your favorite snacks on it along with a bottle of water

• he loves to cuddle

• he is literally so needy when it comes to you and just wants any kind of affection he can get from you

[rowanfalls]

No joke, I think dungeon meshi has seriously impacted my desire to be healthy for the better. A very long and heartfelt (but spoiler free) essay is under the cut.

I have Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. Because of my OCD, some foods are safe and some are not and I would literally rather starve than eat an unsafe food (i know because it happened once on a trip to Switzerland). This means I mostly eat chicken nuggets, buttered noodles, donuts, soda, the like. The only vegetable I can eat is cooked broccoli and the only fruit I can eat is apples (smoothies not withstanding).

I'm also physically disabled in a way that makes it hard for me to exercise or do physical activity, not to mention how my ADHD and Depression fuck with that as well. I'm 'lucky'* in that I have a genetic disposition towards being very thin and probably will stay that way until I'm in my 40s (my dad was exactly the same at my age).

So I eat mostly junk food and I sit at my computer all day every day and for a long time, I've been happy with that. When I tell people about my Eating Disorder, they usually say "oh, is there a way to fix it?" and my answer is always "why would I want to?" Its not like an allergy or a medical dietary restriction. I don't LIKE any of the foods I can't eat. I don't have any reason to want to learn how to eat them.

Besides health reasons of course. I know in my head that not eating any vegetables isn't good for me but I also know that I don't really want to eat them and, for most of my adulthood, I've lived with the mindset that I think a lot of people my age have where they hear so many people say 'just eat well and exercise!' as a solution to every problem and so they tend to hate the idea of doing that. The health industry is full of too many people who are fatphobic assholes or who think a green smoothie can cure your depression for good or who just want your money or whatever and I hate that. And so I've kind of felt above exercise and nutrition.

But then I read Dungeon Meshi.

Even in the beginning, the manga was super inspiring. The way Senshi talks about taking care of your body so you can go on adventures makes it sound like something I might want to do. So much of today's health advice is shame based and, as someone who grew up in and left a high demand control group, I work hard not to tolerate shame in my life. But Dungeon Meshi posits a new view of health and nutrition, one that is centered in love for the self, love for your friends, and love for your food. It resonated with me in a way that I really wasn't expecting it to.

Over the last few years, I've been working really hard to become a compassionate person. This year, my new goal is learning to turn that compassion inward and I've been trying to do that in several different ways. When I finished reading Dungeon Meshi I knew that one of those ways was going to have to be improving my diet and exercise.

I want to be able to go on adventures (as tame and simple as they may be). I want to live as long as possible to spend time with my loved ones. I want to be able to walk around and exist without pain for as much of that time as I can. I want to love my body and act accordingly, making sure it is well fed and cared for. Hell, I've always loved the idea of cooking but haven't had the energy to really learn, especially since I can't eat most foods, but now the idea of taking the time to cultivate a skill like that, one that I can be proud of and that can be used to care for my friends, fills me with a sense of hope and excitement.

So thank you Dungeon Meshi, and thank you Ryoko Kui. If you haven't read the manga, I highly recommend that you do.

*by lucky I mean that my diet hasn't forced me to deal with the stigma that comes with being fat. I have no idea what kinds of problems it's been causing that I just can't see. I am not saying that it would be bad if I were fat, just that not being thin would mean I faced a lot more stigma and discrimination in my life, which is bad.

[beforeiread-studies]

Korean Learning - month 6 update (July 2024)

This was a great month! I'm proud of myself and my progress.

I read 2 more books in the Easy Korean Reading series. In my last post I had said something like "I'm sure I'll be able to finish the whole series this month" but nope, they got much harder after the first 4. So now I have 2 books left. At one point the characters re-introduced themselves and it's crazy to compare that to the introductions in very chapter of the first book and see how they are using much more complex expressions now and I understand them!

I kept it up with Anki and added around 250 new cards. Not 500 like I had hoped, but adding cards is so dull ㅠ I miss my pre-made deck for German. In other news, I finally got the mobile app so I've been studying on the bus (and at work) or even while watching videos rather than having 1 big session a day, which is more relaxing.

I bought an Italian Korean workbook. I've completed 6 lessons out of 25. This book is used at Italian unis to study Korean so it makes me feel v accomplished. So far it's mostly been stuff I already know but it's nice to put dots on is and lines on ts (does that make sense in English?).

I watched some random super beginner Korean podcasts. Choi Susu I will get to your level someday but until then akapinn and koreant (on YouTube) are solid alternatives. Highly recommended for super beginners.

I spontaneously enrolled in a King Sejong Institute (KSI) online course. The one with 1 online live lecture a week. The first one is this weekend but I will have to miss it ㅠ (already alerted the teacher, it's fine). From what I can see you need to do 1 unit of registered videos a week and then there is the live lecture. I thought I'd enroll in the Level 2/6 course, but the KSI level test told me to enroll in level 3 (2A)! I decided to up the stakes even more by choosing a course taught entirely in Korean, no English. Cause, you know, I'm moving there in a month, I should get used to not understanding anything that's going on. But now that I've watched the videos for the first week they are kinda easy? Am I actually getting good at Korean?

MOST IMPORTANTLY, I started taking lessons on Italki! So far I've taken 6 lessons with 2 teachers and I have another one scheduled for Friday. One of the teachers focuses more on speaking-speaking and the other on speaking-grammar, which I think is a great combo. I've spent about 100€ on lessons (yikes) but I put money aside for this so it's fine. Being forced to speak to someone in Korean is definitely helping. I can now have simple chats with my teachers, using English vocabulary for the words I don't know yet. And this week I'm going from 30-minute lessons to 45-minute lessons. Wish me luck!

Things that didn't work

I deleted TikTok. Last month I uploaded it to only follow Korean accounts and get bite-sized practice, but I ended up skipping those videos and stopping on the English-subtitled ones. I'm not there yet.

I didn't complete a single new lesson on the King Sejong online no-lectures course. I suppose they are just not appealing to me anymore, which is fine. I won't put pressure on myself for it anymore. The new course should provide me with the same content anyway.

The fill-it-out cards on Anki failed miserably. I created them wrong and they asked me to fill out the English word. Yikes. I don't think I'll try again for a bit.

Month 7 plan (August 2024)

Less than 1 month to my move to Korea, gah.

Vocabulary. Keep it up with Italki + add however many cards I like

Reading. Finish at least the 4.1 book of Easy Korean Reading.

Listening. Keep listening to random podcasts on YouTube until I find one that fits my level. No pressure.

Conversation. 2 Italki lessons per week. I will have to decide whether to keep them up after I leave for Korea too.

Grammar. Attend the KSI lectures + complete the exercises on my book.

Writing. I'm now realizing that I've been sorely neglecting this aspect of language learning and I'm desolate to inform you that I will continue to do so during the next month too.

[sysy-studyblr]

hello! i stumbled upon your blog a few days ago and was honestly amazed at how you progressed in your german learning in less than a year. i don't know if you ever made a post about it, but could you share how you structured your learning routine? i'm self-studying french and the thing i find the hardest is how to cover all the topics i need and fit them jn a schedule. i know it's different fot everyone, but you're a major inspiration source, so it'd be pretty helpful! thank you in advance 💜

hi, firstly thank you so much!!! this is such a kind message!!!!! like very seriously, the type of message I would store in my heart for a long time, so thank you.

going to be absolutely real with you, I was very free as I picked up German, it was kind of my only goal for 8 months, so I didn't need to worry about other tasks!!! but in general, I started using the Common European framework of reference for languages [CEFR - A1-C2] to guide my revision, I did A1 - A2 with a language learning institute [goethe], where I got content + guidance from them and B1 - B2 with a private tutor, though I used a lot of my own resources + scheduling, so I'll break down what could be useful for you!

I broke German down into vocabulary and grammar, like just fundamentally - I did learn a bit of French, so I think this could work for French too, considering tenses as a part of grammar.

generally you have to progress in a language from basics to intermediate to then advanced, such that vocabulary + grammar structures get more complex as you go along. I (allegedly) pirated (alleged) German learning books from the (alleged) website libgen/scihub, and used them for practice. I also found free content online for German B2 grammar.

if you want to pass an exam, then what I did would work - towards the exam time, I pretty much just understood grammar structures, and read vocab, then did past papers until I was really good at it, because I needed the certificate for uni. but in general, I recommend practicing these structures yourself, and integrating them into your life. I watched German shows, listened to German music, read tons of stuff in German, and of course, all my devices are in German now. [I also did this before my French IB exam, albeit I am not very good at French]

my schedule had German every day, on average 3 hours, the week before exams 4 hours a day for like 5 days straight. I gave myself a week to go over grammatical structures, but if you just obtain a French A1 book and start doing the exercises alone, you would be just fine. I missed 20 hours of the start of the A1 class (I did 4 hours a day from A1 - A2) and I just used the simple book they gave, understood stuff with a dictionary and pushed forward.

this reply might be super all-over-the-place so do let me know if I should expound on something specific or if something makes little to no sense,!!!!

[writershapeholeonthedoor]

Old Friends

Paring: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Samantha Arias/Andrea Rojas, mentioned Alex Danvers/Samantha Arias

Words count: 3,748

Read on AO3

It has been a long time since Alex last saw Samantha Arias.

That any of the Super Friends - she already told Kara this was a stupid name - saw her, really.

Right after Sam moved to Metropolis, Alex and her would still talk, send texts to check on each other, until they naturally subsided to the point where they were now. They hadn’t talked for years, although Alex liked Sam’s Instagram posts when she saw them. In all honesty, Alex talked more with Ruby than with her mother because the girl posted funny things in her stories and Alex replied to them often. She also congratulated Ruby every time the teenager posted about her soccer games, but that was it.

That’s why Alex was sitting at the kitchen table looking over at the envelope in her hands with a frown clear on her face. And that’s how Kelly found her when she walked out of their room wearing her gym clothes and aiming for the fridge so she could grab her water bottle. She took a second glance at her fiancée, though, and changed her path.

Kelly stopped behind Alex and gently put her hands on her shoulders, soothing her hands down to her elbows and back up again. Alex sighed at the touch and raised her fingers to touch the back of one of Kelly’s hands, smiling gladly to herself when her skin alight with the simple touch. Kelly smiled too when she felt the older woman relaxing against the chair, then she kissed the top of Alex’s head and asked quietly: “Will you tell me about her?”

Alex threw her head back to look up at Kelly, her eyes wide and mouth slightly agape in surprise, but she was only met with soft eyes and a soft smile. “What?”

“Her,” Kelly pointed at the envelope in Alex’s hand and the other woman followed her finger, reading the name written there for the hundredth time since she sat there to start sending their wedding invitations. Samantha Arias and family, written in the fancy cursive they had chosen. “You’ve been changing your mind about inviting her. I got curious, I’m not going to lie.” Alex bit her bottom lip, unsure how she was supposed to answer that, but Kelly kept touching her and then rested her chin on Alex’s head. “Our guest list was in a shared document, you know? I saw her name appear and disappear a couple of times,” she explained.

“I don’t think there’s much to say,” Alex ended up mumbling after thinking about it for a second. “I don’t know if I should invite her. I don’t even know if she would attend it.”

“Well, that’s why it’s called an invitation,” Kelly teased her lightly. “We sent them the invitation and they tell us if they can attend our wedding or not.”

“Wait, what? No way,” Alex joked along, pretending to be shocked at the revelation. “I kinda told everyone Viola Davis would attend our wedding.”

Kelly laughed and jokingly slapped the redhead's arm before taking a step back to pull the chair beside Alex to sit down. “Come on, tell me.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be somewhere else?” Alex arched one eyebrow at her fiancée, looking her outfit up and down to make her meaning clear.

The woman waved a hand to dismiss the comment, but replied anyway: “I said Nia I would meet her at the gym for a workout before the pilates class, but she won’t mind.”

“Is Lena attending the pilates class as well? She keeps saying she doesn’t do exercises, but I don’t believe that.”

“Hey,” Kelly pointed her index finger at Alex, “I won’t share any juice if you don’t do it first,” she teased.

Alex laughed lowly and shook her head in that lovingly way she did to her family. She put the envelope down and crossed her arms when she turned her chair a bit to face Kelly completely, taking some precious seconds to decide if she should tell the whole story or not. It was Kelly, though, her fiancée, future wife, the mother of her children, and she trusted Kelly without an ounce of doubt - and maybe she should apologize to Kara one day for being so exasperated every time her sister said they could trust Lena.

“Sam is an old friend,” she started, choosing the easiest path to start with. “She’s a friend of Lena, actually. She moved to National City a few years ago and she was working with Lena, so we all met her. I had just broken up with Maggie when we met and Sam had a lot on her plate at the time. She has a daughter that was a pre-teen then, and there were some other weird things also that I wish I could tell you more about, but it’s not actually my story to tell.”

Kelly nodded along her explanation, understanding more and more why Samantha Arias’ name kept coming up on her wedding guest list and disappearing again. She also understood why Alex didn’t want to tell her what the “weird things” were and respected her fiancée for her loyalty to her friends. It did make her a bit more sure that she was doing the right thing when she asked Alex to marry her.

“Okay, so you two were that couple that could’ve been if you two weren’t in a strange place?” She asked just to be sure, although she was pretty certain that she read it right. Especially when Alex’s face turned a deep shade of red that made her bit her lip to hold back a laugh.

“Maybe?” Alex replied, but it sounded more like a question than an answer. She noticed it and sighed. “I suppose. I mean, we never talked about it, but we were really close before she moved back to Metropolis, and I really liked her daughter.”

“Is that the girl that commented on one of our photos?” Kelly wondered, thinking back to a time when Alex posted a photo of both of them early when they started dating - and before her fiancée decided to disappear from social media. “Something about ‘you go, Alex’?”

The redhead groaned and hid her face behind her palms for a second, but she was smiling widely when she looked back at Kelly. “Yeah, that’s Ruby.”

Kelly laughed then. “Well, I like her already,” she declared simply. “So, why are you debating with yourself if you should or should not invite them to the wedding?”

Alex gulped, definitely avoiding her eyes when she spoke again. “I thought it might be a bit weird?”

“Weird?” The psychologist repeated the word, raising her brows.

“I thought so,” Alex said almost in a defensive tone. “I thought you might be upset.”

“And instead of asking me if it was okay, you debated it with yourself for weeks, basically making yourself miserable and anxious for nothing?”

“Hey,” Alex joked, pointing a finger at the woman, “don’t analyze me.”

Kelly rolled her eyes fondly as she got up from her chair. “If they’re important to you, they should be invited to the wedding. Of course, I wouldn’t mind.” She leaned down to give Alex a quick peck on the lips.

“We haven’t spoken in a while,” Alex clarified. “But I think I would like to see them there.”

“Then sent the invitation, silly,” Kelly gently spoke, then she gave Alex another quick kiss. “I have to go now or Nia will ditch me saying I took too long to show up.”

“Okay. I will start dinner while you’re out.” Her fiancée was already halfway through the door when Alex called her again. “So, does Lena attend the pilates class or not?”

Kelly laughed when she saw the mischievous look on Alex’s face. “Yes, she does.”

“Knew it.” The other woman snapped her fingers once in front of her face before turning back her attention to the envelopes she still needed to send.

“She says she needs to work on her flexibility and stamina to keep up with Kara,” Kelly added as an afterthought while walking through the door with a loud laugh when she heard Alex groaning.

“I didn’t need to know that!” The agent shouted to her back, but Kelly was walking away already and Alex was left alone shaking her head.

[...]

“Hey, kiddo!” Alex greeted when she saw Ruby approaching her.

The girl was wearing a beautiful dress and sneakers instead of heels, but the outfit suited her so well that Alex could only smile at that. When she got closer, Alex noticed that she was also taller than she remembered the girl being and it was easy to see she got her mother’s genetics on that. She also looked older, definitely a teenager now, but her dimpled smile was still the same and Alex felt her chest warmer with the sight of her.

“Wow, there, kiddo,” Alex said when she pulled the girl into a hug. “Who told you you could outgrow me?” She joked.

Ruby laughed, but it wasn’t her who answered. “I already forbid her to get any taller than that or she will officially be taller than me and we can’t have that.”

Alex pulled away from Ruby to see that Sam had walked over behind her daughter with one of her signature soft smiles. Ruby took a step to the side to give them some space to hug as well and Alex couldn’t help but feel she did the right choice by inviting them for her wedding. She had missed them, and having them there was helping her remember how much that small little family meant to her. Even if Sam and her never got any further than a thought, she still cared about them and she was glad they could both be present at the most important day of her life.

“Is she listening to you, though?” Alex asked when she pulled away.

Mother and daughter stood side by side after that and it was shocking to see that Sam didn’t have to look down at Ruby anymore. The teen actually laughed again when she shrugged and Sam glanced at Alex again. “Oh, you try to make a teenage girl listen to you,” she replied with humor.

“Oh, don’t tell me,” Alex groaned, jumping into the joke as if they had just seen each other a week ago. “I’m trying not to get worried about it already.”

“Told you to wait a few more years to start freaking out over this.”

Alex’s entire body lighted when she felt Kelly’s hand on her small back, joining their conversation with her bright smile that never failed to make Alex a bit weak on the knees. The redhead's response was to roll her eyes good-naturedly and wrap her arm around her wife’s waist. “Kelly, those are Sam and Ruby,” she introduced them, not shocked at all when Kelly’s smile widened. “This is Kelly, who turns out became my wife like half and hour ago,” the agent joked.

They all shared a laugh while Sam reached out her hand to shake Kelly’s, all politely as a good CEO always was. “It’s nice to meet you, Kelly.”

“Same goes to you. Alex said great things about you and your daughter.”

Ruby chose to only wave at Kelly’s direction, not wanting to be as formal as her mother but also not wanting to step over by hugging the woman. “Did she tell you I’m the most amazing soccer player she ever saw?”

Alex groaned while Kelly and Sam laughed. “Okay, kiddo, I see you don’t have that teenage low self-esteem going on.”

Ruby shrugged all while smiling at them, but she suddenly turned her head and gasped when she saw something. “Mom, I see aunt Lena!”

“Go talk to her then,” Sam pointed in the direction she saw her old friend walking by talking with a girl she didn’t know. “Sorry, we got here this afternoon and didn’t have time to catch up with Lena before,” she explained as her daughter wandered off.

“That’s fine,” Alex assured her. “No one takes space in her heart like aunt Lena does.”

Sam nodded in agreement, looking back at them, but her eyes quickly glanced down when she saw a little girl running at them. She only stopped after hugging Alex’s leg and the woman’s hand immediately found its way to the girl’s golden locks as she smiled down at her.

“Esme, honey, say hi to Sam,” Kelly asked gently, earning a confused look from the girl before she understood who her mother was talking about.

“Hi,” she whispered when she noticed Sam for the first time, quickly hiding behind Alex’s legs after that, and Sam was suddenly reminded of a much younger Ruby doing the same thing with her.

Sam crouched down in front of her after picking up the body of her dress with one hand. “Hello there, sweetie. It’s nice to meet you.” Esme seemed less ashamed when the tall woman in front of her became more eyed level with her, although she still kept a safe distance that Sam respected without question. “She’s a sweet girl,” she commented while raising herself from the floor, a smile always in place.

“She is,” Alex agreed easily with that motherly smile that Sam had seen on herself many times before.

“Why don’t you two catch up a little bit while I take this little bean to dance, huh?” Kelly asked, already bending down to pick Esme up in her arms. “I will see you around,” Kelly said as a departure towards Sam before she walked away with Esme hugging her neck happily.

After she left, Alex still watched both of them for a while, until a small chuckle left her lips. “She makes it really impossible for me not to think I’m the luckiest woman alive.”

Sam noticed the loving smile, the glint in her eyes, the way the redhead seemed to shine brightly with happiness, and was instantly glad to see that Alex had achieved her dreams. She knew Alex, though, and she knew that the woman wouldn’t keep that romantic façade for long, even on her wedding day, because Alex wasn’t one to use her emotions on her sleeve. “Think I heard something similar from Lena a few weeks ago,” she joked then.

Alex scoffed and turned her head to look back at Samantha with a knowing look that made the taller woman laugh. “Seriously, I was about to lock them inside a room and throw the key away. Would have, if Kara wouldn’t easily open it.” She rolled her eyes. “Your friend took long enough to grow a pair and tell my sister how she feels.”

“I could advocate for Lena here and say that Kara could also have done that, but I’m not a lawyer, so who cares?” Sam joked with a shrug. “They’re together now, we should take that as a win.”

Alex laughed at the lame joke and shook her head. “Yeah, you say that because they didn’t kiss for the first time in front of you.”

“She doesn’t mean it,” Kara’s voice sounded right behind Alex before she stopped beside her sister with a large grin. “But I would like to argue that I had every right to do that after everything that happened.” Sam was still chuckling when the tall blonde pulled her for a hug. “Hi, Sam! Long time no see.”

“Yes, life has been keeping me busy down at Metropolis,” Sam agreed with a smile as she pulled away. “You survived the first weeks dating Lena, so I will assume you’re okay.”

Kara laughed happily at that. “More than okay, actually. But I did hear you confirmed a plus one on the invitation,” she prodded, earning an eye roll from her sister.

“Really, Kara? Be a little more subtle the next time.”

“What?” The blonde asked in an attempt to defend herself. “It was just a comment!”

Sam smiled at them both. “That’s okay. I did bring someone with me, but she saw the bar and I’m pretty sure I lost her for the night,” she laughed while looking around as if she was searching for someone.

“You have to introduce us later,” Kara said. “I’m going to find Lena, excuse me.”

“I should also try to find Lena, actually. It’s been a while since we last saw each other,” Sam declared gently. “And I don’t want to hold you here when you have so many guests to talk to.”

“I will find you and Ruby again later on,” Alex promised. “I missed the sweetest teenager I ever saw.”

Sam smiled proud of her own daughter and nodded. They parted ways shortly after, with Alex moving on to talk to another of her guests while Sam started looking into the crowd to find her daughter and friend. It didn’t take that long to do so as she saw Ruby first, then Lena standing in front of her with Kara by her side, an arm around her waist, and the same woman Sam had seen before. They were all close to the bar and she started approaching the small group with no hurry at all. She was just a few feet from them when she saw that there was someone basically hidden by Ruby’s height that she hadn’t seen before, but it made her smile widely.

“Whatever Lena tells you, do not believe what she says about the summer in junior year,” Sam made her presence known as she got close enough to be heard over the music playing in the background, making all heads turn towards her.

Her long-time friend rolled her eyes and huffed, pretending to fix her tie. “Samantha also lies about that, don’t rely on her narrative either.”

The teasing between the two made some laughs echo around the group and they shared a smile before pulling each other into a tight hug. It took them a few seconds to pull away from each other, but they did eventually and Sam found a spot beside Ruby to stand. She saw, with a knowing smirk, when Kara curled her arm around Lena again and the way her friend leaned against the blonde’s side without hesitating. She was happy Lena finally found her place.

“Sam, this is Nia,” her friend introduced the other brunette that Sam didn’t know. “Nia, this is Samantha Arias.”

“So formal,” Sam grumbled as she shook the girl’s hand. “Don’t mind her. Please, call me Sam.” After she let go of Nia’s hand, Sam placed her hand on the back of the shorter woman’s shoulders by her side. The gesture took the attention of everyone else, of course, but only Kara seemed surprised by that. “It didn’t take too long for me to introduce you two,” Sam said as she winked at Kara, who looked like a fish out of water for a moment.

“I, uh,” she stuttered as she blinked in surprise. “I know her. She’s… She’s my boss.”

Andrea scoffed from where she was sitting on the bar stool, quietly drinking her wine, and Sam looked down at her with a small smile that made her angry reply die on her lips. She rolled her eyes, mostly to herself, and looked down at her glass to keep herself from doing her usual jab, which made Sam chuckle softly at her. “Yes, I had a feeling that you two already knew each other. I mean, with CatCo and all.”

“Yeah,” Kara murmured. “And… all.”

Lena gently nudged the blonde’s side with her elbow, although she was the one that made a grimace since it felt like poking a brick wall. “I knew I was forgetting to tell you something.”

“You knew?” Kara asked.

Lena rolled her eyes lovingly at her, one of her hands raising to rest on Kara’s chest as she leaned on her side. “We can gossip later,” she teased, kissing the corner of Kara’s mouth and they all saw the hero’s entire body relax with the gesture.

“I wish that worked on you,” Sam commented in a light tone as she turned her head to look at Andrea, who just glared at her for long enough to make her laugh. She used both hands to run down the lapel of Andrea’s dark red suit and winked at her girlfriend. “But you bark and bite.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Sam,” Lena quickly joined the teasing against her longest-time friend. “She looked pretty tamed right now.”

“Shut up,” Andrea grumbled.

“She bought mom flowers once,” Ruby declared, earning a gasp from Andrea, that looked at her like she was just betrayed by the teen. “And she does travel to see mom, like, every week.”

“Okay, are you done putting your knife in my back?” Andrea scoffed.

Sam laughed at their antics and leaned down to kiss the side of Andrea’s head, before doing the same with Ruby. Andrea’s face turned a deep shade of red, which made Nia and Kara exchange a very, very, surprised look, but no one said a thing. After the initial shock, Nia cleared her throat.

“Well, Ruby, why don’t you come with me so these drunk ladies can drink alone? Alex and Kelly put a trampoline outside for Esme, but I know they were also thinking of me when they made that decision.”

Ruby giggled at the girl she met minutes ago and quickly looked at her mom to confirm it was fine to walk away. With Sam’s nod, Ruby let Nia grab her hand and easily followed her around the other guests.

“She did say we could drink now,” Lena commented with a smile before turning around to the bar to make their order.

“Drink?” They all turned in time to see Alex approaching them. “I got here at the right time, then.”

“So did I,” Kelly said as she walked over them just a second after her wife. “I need to keep an eye on you when you and Lena are drinking together, it’s a good thing Nia took Esme to the trampoline” she declared before hugging Alex’s side with a fake angry expression.

“So…” Lena called from the bar. “Wine, Kelly?”

“Of course,” the woman answered immediately, earning some laughs.

Soon the small group of women was toasting their drinks as the party around them kept going, clearly with every intention to celebrate Alex and Kelly’s love until the sun would rise again on the horizon.

[eemamminy-art]

for the artist ask game:

3. your favorite piece(s)? 13. talk about a wip you like!

3. your favorite piece(s)?

This is tough, because I find that my favorites change all the time because I'm constantly improving! I think the ones I really like best currently are:

This all saint's day-themed estimeric piece, which was inspired by a really intimate and personal experience I had. Fandom has made it harder to enjoy this ship more recently but they are so special to me, I wanted to project a special moment from my life onto them. I also posted it on a really meaningful date for me, so it's like.. extra personal and special in that way 💕

This fordolyse beach artwork, because I feel like it's held up to my own personal scrutiny very well even though I drew it last August, and I just really love looking at it. I love the beach, and I find joy in drawing a simple beach and sky from my head. I love their body types. I think the composition works well even though it's super simple!

The little autumn-themed sketch page I did of my stardew guys, because it felt like such a labor of love to be working on it genuinely for two whole months and to not give up on it until it was perfect. I redrew some parts of it over and over and over, I wasn't sure I'd ever finish it. It was a real exercise in my ongoing attempts to stylize my art in a satisfying way while still keeping it feeling solid and proportionate yet interesting.

13. talk about a wip you like!

Well, this one I'd say I half like it, and I need to figure out what I'm doing with it… but I'm doing some like then vs now pieces with my stardew guys and while the lines are "done" on the past portion, I far and away prefer how sketchy the future part looks.

When I compare the finished lines to the sketch on the first half, I feel like it lost so much personality and I'm trying desperately to find a happy balance between cleaning up my sketches in a concise and balanced way while still keeping the energy and feeling of the sketch. I hate to feel like I wasted my time but I might end up just redrawing it, it feels so stiff to me 😭 I know this is a lot of complaining when it's supposed to be something I like, but!! I'm finding myself putting a lot more thought and going much more slowly with my personal art (working on it a little at a time over weeks instead of doing one or two several hour long sittings so as to not spend too much time on something "just" for me) which I think is helping me be more mindful of where I want to take my art, and also making the finished work more satisfying (since it's ultimately stuff I'm making for me anyway) :3

I think this wip probably has a long way to go and it might look totally different when it's done, but I find myself thinking about it and coming back to it the most! Like sometimes I just open it up on my second screen while I'm gaming and I just glance at it and try to figure out what's missing, or what can be changed. Or I just go ehehe at the smiles in the future portion of the set 🥰

[complementme]

Okay, so I wrote some AU fanfic for the current DnD campaign I'm in. I'm posting it because someone should read it, even if they know nothing about the characters (though if you want to ask, I will literally talk your ears off).

She hated going to the gym, especially so gods-damned early. But she had promised Sunny she would join her sometimes, and stick to the plan better this time, so here she was at ass o’clock on the elliptical facing the free weights area. Sunny said it was to keep an eye on her, as if she would have trouble operating a simple elliptical machine, but Felis was sure it was to keep her from slipping away into the sauna. 

I’d be bored there, too, she thought, rolling her eyes as the song on her headphones changed over. Sitting by myself, much like I’m moving my legs by myself over here. Sunny would be doing weights with her in another fifteen minutes, as her needs were very different and she’d wanted to finish her workout first. Not that Felis blamed her — she was little and her form for lifting was probably terrible. 

Felis shifted her gaze as another gym goer racked what weights they’d taken with them, stretching in front of the mirrors. Her attention was caught momentarily at their movement, but waned quickly after assessment — blonde, on the taller side, a cocky grin to himself. 

Not interesting. Not my type. Not that she’d even entertain flirting with someone at the gym, they probably wouldn’t have anything in common. 

At least, she hadn’t until he got down on the floor in pushup position. Though he was blonde, she could appreciate the way his arms looked as he went through the exercise. She amused herself for a few minutes imagining feeling those arms, how he’d be so flustered with her approach when she was more dressed up, wondering how many drinks she could get him to buy with just a smile. 

And then he changed position to begin the set anew using only one arm at a time. 

Her attention was transfixed. Something about seeing the move done in-person for training rather than showing off or on TV did something to her. She hadn’t realized she’d stopped pedaling, or that Sunny had returned to her side as she watched the stranger continue his workout. 

“All right, Felis, ready to try weights?” When she failed to answer in the affirmative, stumbling through syllables, Sunny turned to follow where she was looking. “Oh?”

“I’m done for the day, I think I need to go home and have some water!” She yanked the headphones from her ears and put them in their case. 

“Would you say you’re… dehydrated?” Sunny teased, wiping her brow with her towel. 

Felis groaned, dropping her forehead against the middle bar. There would be no living this down. 

“This is a rare opportunity for me,” Sunny continued, pretending to be oblivious to her discomfort at being caught ogling the man. “That’s Thornsteel, we talk sometimes about how to improve our sets.”

“So you have a gym friend, good for you.”

“I also happen to know, loosely, his schedule for coming in.” Felis knew she was smirking. “You know, if you wanted some additional pointers.”

“I don’t.”

“And that he happens to also be very single.”

Felis groaned, forehead still against the foam-wrapped metal. “I didn’t come here to get a date, I came because you nagged me.”

“Two birds, one stone.”

Felis huffed in annoyance. There would be no discouraging Sunny with how invested she was in romance novels. “Blonde. Pass.”

Sunny snorted, and Felis knew she was in trouble. “Oh, he’s coming this way. I guess it’s cardio time for him.”

“You waved him over, you traitorous bitch.”

“You didn’t see anything, you don’t know.” Felis made a noise to indicate she very well did know what her best friend was like, and what she did. “Oh, hey Thornsteel, how’s it going?”

“Pretty well, got all my supers done with no issue.” Felis tried not to groan again — his voice matched what she’d imagined. “Your form was great today, Sunny.” He paused, making a questioning noise before lowering his voice. “Is your friend… okay?”

“Felis is great,” Sunny replied, and she could envision the smile. “Just a little dehydrated, she’s not one for sports drinks.” Sunny rubbed a few circles on her back, as if she wasn’t the reason she was currently slumped over the machine in absolute misery at being caught staring at the blonde man. 

“Neither was I, at first,” Thornsteel agreed. “But then I tried this, and it changed my life. No strong artificial flavors, doesn’t have the same sticky feeling…” he trailed off, and Sunny took longer than would be appropriate for a conversation between them to respond.

He’s talking to me, Felis realized belatedly. She steeled herself and lifted her head to see a bottle offered to her, the gesture confident but also concerned. It was unopened, the label turned so she could read it before accepting. 

“Uh, thank you,” she replied, hesitating. “I wouldn’t want to take your drink, though, when I could just go home…”

She made the mistake of meeting his gaze when she responded. His smile was disarming and infectious, and his eyes lit up as she looked at him.

“Nonsense, I couldn’t live with myself if I knew a friend of Sunny’s was suffering.” He offered the drink more insistently. “Besides, I came prepared.”

“Right, of course.” Sunny and her other friends were all like that.  She took the drink, holding it awkwardly in her hands as the other two exchanged a look. 

“Well, I should let you get back to your workout,” Sunny suggested carefully, nodding towards the treadmills. “It was nice chatting with you today.” She gathered Felis’ things, almost too casually for her to be trusted. “We’re going to cool down and head out.”

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Felis,” he told her, smiling as he ducked his head. “I hope you feel better soon.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but he closed his mouth with an audible click before marching off.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Sunny muttered as they headed to the locker room. “He’s not so bad, right?”

It wasn’t until she’d gotten home and turned the bottle over to read the ingredients that she’d seen a phone number written across the back label, putting the pieces in place.

Her phone was in her hand, dialing Sunny’s number before she had a chance to stop herself. She was sent to voicemail immediately — not that she was surprised after her morning.

“I cannot believe you set me up like that! I’m never going to that gym again! You two are the worst!” 

here have some AUs as if there aren't enough on your dash already

“i came to the gym to work out but holy god i can’t stop watching you do one armed push ups that’s so hot” au

“this is totally awkward considering before this the only interactions we’ve ever had have been casual nods to each other in the hallway but there’s a huge fucking spider in my bath tub and you seem like the friendly neighbor type please help me” au

“you’re the only delivery person who gets to my house in any semblance of the word fast which is why i keep requesting you but you don’t believe me and tease me constantly about it” au

“okay i get it you’re a great thief and don’t want to go to jail but i’m the exhausted af detective that’s assigned to catch you i stg if you let me bring you in so i can sleep i’ll get you a good deal” au

“okay i get that there are no seats left in this cafe but like i am trying to read here no you cannot have this chair my feet are using it thank you very much please get out of my face now” au

“my parents moved me halfway across the world when we were twelve and before that we were best friends but now i’m back and moving in across the hall from you so hi?” au

“i’ve been travelling a lot and somehow you’re in every single city i go to seriously what the fuck who even are you how are you doing this” au

“we’ve been nothing but friends for our whole lives but then we played seven minutes in heaven on a dare and now i think i might actually be in love with you” au

“ngl i thought you were the weak one of this friend group but your whole life just went to complete shit around you and somehow you’re still acting the same so if you want to be weak you can be around me” au

“my guitarist quit the night before the gig that could mean the big break for a band that i have put my soul into and supposedly you’re really good but i swear to god if you screw this up for me i will hunt you down and slit your throat” au

“it seems we’re the only two people in this class that actually know what the fuck is going on want to team up for this project and ruin everybody’s lives” au

“we started arguing about which hogwarts house this one character would be in and we completely lost track of time and now you’re demanding i take you out to dinner is this a date” au

“i’m the private investigator that was hired by your ex to track you down and you totally caught me sitting outside your apartment in a rental car so hi what up” au

“i came to check out this support group but things have kind of been majorly sucking lately and you were there and i didn’t even know anything was wrong but we’ve known each other for months what gives” au

“i’m the lawyer helping you get custody of your daughter and oops you’re all kinds of adorable with her and also i think she’s growing attached to me is this good or bad” au

“i meant to text the contact one above you in my phone’s contact list for a booty call but i didn’t realize i hit your name until i sent it so now i’m just sitting here feeling those little three dots hardcore judging me” au

“we started dating after months of sexual tension between us but then you moved across the country so now we’re trying to figure out how to make this brand new relationship work long distance” au

“so not to be rude or anything but i’ve been coming to this cemetery at this time on this day every week for fucking years and i’ve always been alone up until now seriously what the hell” au

“it’s the middle of the night and i’m walking home alone in the dark and there’s this guy following me and he’s starting to gain on me and i found this phone booth with a lock on the door and i tried to call my best friend but my hands were shaking so badly i accidentally dialed the wrong number and i don’t even know you but help me” au

[smoothie-blog]

How to Enjoy Your Holiday Festivities and Still Lose Weight

The good news is that it IS possible to enjoy all those fun holiday events without being cursed to buy larger clothes in the new year.  You just need to plan ahead and be smart about how you enjoy your parties and festivities – and how you take care of your body in between all the events.

1. DON'T Skip Meals on Party Days:

People often think it wise to skip meals before parties and feasts to make up for the large meal that is coming. Unfortunately, this leaves you feeling hungrier and increases the likelihood that you will overeat. Instead, eat healthy, well balanced meals so that your body feels satisfied. This helps you eat smaller portions during the meal or party. Green smoothies are a great pre-party meal option as they are high in fiber and nutrients, and leave you feeling full and satisfied.

2. Use Portion Control:

You know that there is going to be a ton of delicious food at the event. It’s also likely to be very rich and not so healthy.  Holiday parties often have a limited selection of healthy choices, but the food that is available is super yummy! You don’t need to deprive yourself from sampling these tasty treats. Go ahead and have some homemade pie or try some of that decadent cheese dip. Enjoy it! Just practice some portion control.  Have a small piece of pie or cake.  Instead of hovering over the h’orderves and randomly grazing throughout the event, make a little plate for yourself with the treats that you want so you are conscious about how much you are consuming. Try a few bites of the foods you enjoy, rather than a full serving of each. Savor them as you eat so you actually enjoy them.  This also helps reduce excess.

3. Green Smoothie Meal Replacements:

With all the holiday excess, help your body rebalance itself by eating healthier foods between the festivities. Eat several servings of fruits and veggies daily to help your body clear out the overabundance of fats, sugars, processed foods and empty calories you are taking in during the festivities. Green Smoothies are a great way to get your daily servings of fruits and veggies, and help keep you feeling full. Replace at least one meal a day with a green smoothie to counteract the effects of your holiday festivities.

4. Move Your Body:

Don’t let your exercise routine fall to the wayside over the holidays.  Give your body a chance to work off some of the excess by at least keeping your regular routine. If you have a lot of events and opportunities to over indulge, you might want to add in some extra time to help your body cope.

5. Do A Quick DETOX Between Festivities:

Build in a few detox days in between festivities to help your body clear out the excess. Properly made green smoothies make tasty and easy detox drinks that are great for cleansing the body of excess without leaving you feeling deprived of flavor. During the holiday season, detoxing the day or two after the party goes a long way to helping your body reset.  Once the festivities slow down in the new year, it is a great time to do a longer detox to clear your body and reset your diet to a healthier one. This is my favorite 3-Day Detox programs that's PERFECT for the holidays.

The #1 Easiest Way To Stop Holiday Weight Gain Dead In It's Tracks:

Why wait until New Years to start losing weight? By that time you will have put on even MORE weight and have a much taller mountain to climb. I'm all about easy, and that is especially true when it comes to losing weight and getting healthy.

Watch the Free Presentation below and Let me show you a super simple way to keep the weight off over the holidays AND even lose weight while you're at it!

To get the Smoothies diet click here>>

[dissociacrip]

i have a question about hypotonia if that’s okay…it’s basically when muscles can’t contract for very long right? i’ve been struggling with “muscle weakness” my entire life, but it seems like the muscles themselves are basically fine i just can’t make them do anything. like it’s very difficult to hold my arms over my head or keep them in any position that isn’t just letting them hang by my side (it’s extremely painful to hold a phone up to my ear longer than a minute or two for example) and i also have very poor grip strength + i can’t hold my head up or sit up straight without a lot of pain and exhaustion. i also have POTS and HSD. i never had any answers for this problem until i learned about hypotonia, i had assumed maybe it was POTS related until very recently lol. does this align with your experience at all? do you know if there’s anything to be done about it? apologies for asking you these questions, i can’t find a lot about hypotonia online that isn’t about babies or children

i finally (kind-of) found a source for these quotes that i think explain it best without academic jargon - they're on the wikipedia page for hypotonia but aren't cited for whatever reason, but i also can't really find the article they're from aside from some weird page here.

True muscle tone is the inherent ability of the muscle to respond to a stretch. For example, if you quickly straighten the flexed elbow of an unsuspecting child with normal tone, the biceps will quickly contract in response (automatic protection against possible injury). When the perceived danger has passed, which the brain figures out really quickly once the stimulus is removed, the muscle then relaxes, and returns to its normal resting state.

...The child with low tone has muscles that are slow to initiate a muscle contraction, contract very slowly in response to a stimulus, and cannot maintain a contraction for as long as his 'normal' peers. Because these low-toned muscles do not fully contract before they again relax (muscle accommodates to the stimulus and so shuts down again), they remain loose and very stretchy, never realising their full potential of maintaining a muscle contraction over time.

if you wanna get into the academic stuff, there's this Science Direct page (not super academic but still complex) and this NIH page (much more academic but goes into what muscle tone is and what it affects, although not hypotonia specifically.)

i wouldn't just pay attention to the posture and arm or grip thing by the way: in my case, hypotonia also causes me articulation problems irt the way i speak as well as balance and coordination, gait problems related to that stuff, swallowing mechanism (e.g. i aspirate things more easily than i should), drooling, digestive problems, etc. although symptom presentation depends on severity.

i also assumed that me having trouble keeping my arms up was a POTS thing lol. it might contribute to it but who knows, really. but i have the privilege of having some kind of medical professional (because i have zero record of this) assessing me as having low muscle tone when i was a young child.

as for what can be done about it: treatment can depend on the underlying cause but in my case (which i assume is hypotonia due to hEDS/HSD), my only option is muscle strengthening. if you're someone who can get physical and occupational therapy, they should be able to get you set up with a kind of exercise program or otherwise show you exercises/recommend things to help you strengthen your muscles. hypotonia usually presents with muscle weakness but doing low-impact muscle strengthening exercises is supposed to help, like, offset its effects (+can help stabilize your joints.) this can range from really simple stuff you can do at home while laying down, to walking on uneven ground, to swimming, to lifting weights or using exercise machines at the gym (this is precisely why i'm trying to be a disabled gym rat now lmao.)

having a medical professional to consult about it is helpful to keep from accidentally hurting yourself but if PT/OT isn't an option that's understandable (i mean, it cost me $2k even with insurance coverage.) i mean, i think the idea has merit, personally, because my joint instability has significantly decreased over the years since going into a job where i use my muscles more (even though that job fucking sucks and is probably really bad for me physically - just saying), but that's just my situation and i can't say for sure. what you can do about it really comes down to your own capabilities and individual disability situation which is why i think getting PT/OT if you can would be a good idea because (and not to say all med professionals are perfect because they aren't) those people are trained to figure that exact thing out for you. someone in a fitness group i'm in brought up seeing a kinesiologist (kinesiology is the scientific study of human body movement) so that could also be an option but i don't know anything about that.

hopefully this was helpful lol.

[bring-us-back-light]

Some people have called you out already in the notes which is great, but here's my addition. First and foremost: STOP SPREADING MISINFORMATION. hooooly shit. burning my bridge with you. verify your shit before you say shit. You mentioned 'your' instructor, so sounds like you're certified? But you're woefully misinformed (not in a way that will get you hurt, but definitely in a way that can/will fearmonger). Please please please stop spreading misinformation.

I'm just begging everyone on this website to stop talking about things they don't know about as if they're scary!!! Ok, actual response/information

"basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her." That's cool your instructor did the math exercise with you! Mine didn't. Because fun fact: it's not a test and it's not required. Its a fairly common technique instructors use to demonstrate the effects of nitrogen narcosis.

The way it's generally done, is they have a few simple math problems they time you solving at the surface, then they take you down to depth and time you redoing the math. Then you compare the times and results.

They do this because many people don't realize they are under the effects of narcosis until significantly after they have noticeable impact on your executive function. To the point many people don't think they get narc'd until after 120 feet.

"if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test." Ridiculous to call any part of (most org's) recreational scuba test 'the hardest part' scuba tests are written and practical. And while someone might struggle personally with a certain skill, or the knowledge, it's not like a physical fitness test with an identifiable 'hardest part'. By the time you're certified, you should be able to comfortably do all skills. If you can't, you aren't ready. Especially going above open water certification (the base level).

My parenthetical about most org's, is because the GUE test absolutely is hard to pass. And I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone that wouldn't find their buoyancy and trim expectations the hardest part.

"because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea." Subset of people: wrong. Everyone get's narc'd. People get narc'd at diffrent depths, and it changes day to day there are a lot of factors that go into it.

No real idea why this happens to them: I mean... we don't super know why nitrogen is narcotic. But we know why divers get narcosis.

lose their minds at depth: it's literally just intoxication. it's like being buzzed (and then more and more drunk the deeper you go). And yes in the most extreme cases, people can hallucinate and do things that results in their death. But it's very misleading to say nitrogen narcosis makes people lose their minds. The extreme cases, by the way, are at hundres (multiple) feet of depth. No one NO ONE is getting narc'd at 60 feet. Peoiple start getting narced around 70-100 feet. It starts becoming actually dangerous around 150 feet. And after that point, properly trained divers use trimix to offset the nitrogen because helium doesn't have a narcotic effect.

About the story... Talk to anyone who's been diving for a while, and they'll have a story about themselves or someone the were diving with that got narc'd and did something silly. I have no problems with your story and fully believe it happened. However I'd like to point out that the likely more impactful reason that the lady was so low on air, is because when you're at 99 feet, you're breathing air 4 times as fast as you do at the surface. (This is because every 33 feet of depth, you're at another atmosphere of pressure. So at the surface you're at 1, at 33 feet you're at 2 total atmospheres meaning air is compressed to half it's size in volume.)

This point is actually one of the major points of the deep dive training. You have to watch your air a lot better. The other major point is higher emphasis on decompression limits.

I know people on tumblr looove stories of underwater cave diving, but I haven't seen anyone talk about nitrogen narcosis aka "raptures of the deep"

basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.

she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.

if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test.

because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.

a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he'd told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he's at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can't go down there, but he saw the woman go.

instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.

she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.

when their masks are off and he finally asks her what happened, and why was she swimming like that, she says she fully, 100% believed she was a mermaid, had always been a mermaid, and something was hunting her in the dark 👍

[crazy-random-bookworm-17]

I wanted to talk to somebody. I don't have a therapist.

(I am a mutual of yours but I hope you understand that I don't want you to know who I am. I already feel ashamed enough. I really don't want anybody's pity. Just someone to talk to honestly and from my heart.)

We're in a place that's very religious. My family is super religious but me, not so much. See, the religion itself and what it represents simply doesn't resonate with me.

I'm going away to college very soon (in a month). My father wanted to sow that religious seed in me. He doesn't realise that the more he tries the more I'm gonna get tired of it and hate it.

When you try to force something on a person which they don't necessarily like, it's gonna make them dislike it more.

And see, its very very hot (40 degrees) and my skin doens't do well in the sun. I don't burn in the sun, but I've got eczema and sweat is not good for it and UV rays? Very very bad. I feel itchy all over and it so goddamn hard for me to even sit in one place.

In this condition they make me walk 3-4 miles a day to visit temples that I'm so not interested in and oh my god the photos.

It's a 7 day trip and I feel like dying. To make things worse, my father criticizes everything I wear saying it just doesn't make sense. Example: today I wore a wrap dress that ties around the waist. He looked me from head to toe and said that the tie should be lower and that the way its tied it makes me look not good.

I said that it's the way the dress comes and the tie stays in place. I can't lower it. I may have gotten annoyed and talked harshly but you can blame that on my sour mood this whole week.

He said that whoever designed the dress didn't know what they were doing and ended the convo. And I ofc, felt very insecure and kept pulling on my dress that I'd thought looked so good on me. I know that he doesn't know shit about fashion but still. It really really bothers me.

All this aside, I'm having somewhat of a crisis. The people here are so very pretty and wear simple clothing and I feel overdressed and like everybody is staring at me like I'm some abomination. I feel ugly. The sun's ruining my hair and God to make all this even worse, I forgot my sunscreen at home and idk what's gonna happen to my sensitive skin. I hate my face. Why does my hair get frizzy like that. I've got dark circles because of little to no sleep (we're travelling at night, spend the day at the particular place and then travel again, next place and so on.)

I feel worthy of nothing. I hate the looks my mother gives me literally drenched in pity. Yes I feel very bad and I'm not happy but pity makes it all worse.

I've never been that insecure about the way I look except for the occasional bad days where you hate everything that is you for no reason. No reason at all. You just. Hate yourself. Idk how to explain it.

I am short and people think my mother starves me. I can pass as a 12 year old when in reality I'm 17. Why am I the way I am. Why was I born in this family where body shaming is an everyday thing. My brother constantly calls me a mouse and maybe he means it affectionately but it still.. affects me yk. My mother forcing food until I feel like I'm gonna puke. She asks me to do skipping so I can grow an inch. See, me doing it on my own for my own health is different. But other people (yes even my own mother) making me do it is just.. not good yk.

Honestly, I understand part of what you're going through, especially the last paragraph, but sort of inversed. I'm sort of chubby, so I also understand that sort of thing, with my brother calling me nicknames (I don't know if they're affectionate or not) my parents (mostly my mom) making contsant comments and trying to make me exercise... I sort of appreciate it cause I can't motivate myself very well, but I also understand what you mean by it just not being good or effective. I really understand all of that; we're in opposite ends, sure, but we're in the same boat.

As for the rest, such as the religious aspect, I can't really relate to, but I'm going to try to give you some sort of advice and confort you anyways, even if you don't need it (bear with me though). I understand the part of you wanting to dislike something even more when someone tries to force you to like it.

I would suggest having a serious converstion with both your parents about...everything. But I feel like you can suggest that yourself; there's probably something that's preventing you from doing it (the fact that they're your parents, the fact that you already tried, etc).

For the frizzyness of the hair, if no one's restricting you, I would suggest a sort of binding hairstyle? A bun, or if that's too heavy for your head, a braid. If your parents forbid it, maybe try saying that your hair will look better this way, that it accentuates curls, and that you'll take it out when you get there?

Try maybe to wear very thin (heat) but skin-covering (excema) clothing. Buy a new sunscreen asap! Maybe some sort of cream for the excema? I can't quite suggest anything because I don't use those sort of products, but I think you should.

About the feeling ugly part, at times we just can't help it. We have a shit day, and we feel like crap in every and all aspects; we can't help this. But, it's so, so important to (at least try to) not compare yourself to others. There was this one video I saw that I feel would sort of accentuate what I'm trying to say, but I can't find it. The idea was that one girl was eating chips and felt like she should be more healthy and fit like another girl she saw. Cut to that other girl and her thoughts, and she felt weak from the diet she was on, and just wanted to regain her energy like a very loud and energetic person she saw across the street. Cut to this person, who is chiding themself for being so loud, and wanted to be calm and reserved like one of their friends. And this cycle continued. The idea is that maybe you feel inferior to them, while they may be feeling the same thing about you. Try your best to think of that. This is gonna be really cheesy but I also speak a quote to you (I don't know who wrote it, and I'm paraphrasing): "A bottle of water is 50 cents in the grocery store, $1.50 in a vending machine, $4 at the gym, and $9.50 on an airplane. The next time you feel as if you're worthless, maybe you're in the wrong place." The same thing can apply here. Maybe you're just not in the right place. I bet you're in a supermarket. Hopefully college will be the airplane.

And I totally understand that you might not want me to know who you are, no pressure! I hope you feel better. Look at the bright side: at least college is coming soon (ish) so this won't go on forever. Try your best to pay attention to the nicer things in life as well, even though I understand this is really difficult for you. Just don't lose sight of them.

I apologize if that's not what you wanted to hear. To be honest I'm pretty shit at comforting people, but I tried realy hard. I really don't mean to insult you to offend you in any way, if that's how it comes across. A lot of my advice is probably useless and you've probably thoughts of it anyway. If any of that is true, I hope at least the thought counts. If you want to say something else my ask box is always open (and feel free to drop criticism about my response or ask me to say something specifically).

I hope the trip isn't too bad. I wish you the best of luck, confidence, the Vibes, and everything else. Manifesting that it isn't too terrible and that it's over soon. Whoever you are, I love you <33 and I'm sending you support.

If you want to boost your mood I'm gonna drop a meme, probably a terrible one haha. If not, just scroll past really fast. I tried to cut it off but the "expand" feature disabled my cut. Sorry about that.

[myfitnessblog0086]

As human creatures we are all quite lazy. We like to sit alot. We sit when we watch tv, we sit when we eat, we sit when we drive.

Unfortunately when we consume too many calories, we get bigger, and that limits our movement. It's more difficult to move and in the end it makes us burn less calories and be more lazy.

Change? No not money. Inner Change. Inner change can lead to outer physical change. Change of all types comes from within. Find a way to motivate yourself. Find what motivates you. I like Video Games.

I've learned to take Super smash Brothers, and make minute rounds. High damage, mushrooms, lightning bolts and poison mushrooms.

When you get a super mushroom you get increased damage. So it's time to go on the offensive. Poison mushrooms or lightning bolts can shrink, causing you to go on the offensive.

The lightning bolts can backfire and make you small or make them huge.

Sometimes I can barely break even with points during the minute. After the round then I have to lift my 30 lb hand weight with one hand for 2 minutes.

A total of 10 rounds in all.

In terms of what causes change, I believe Michael Jackson said it best:

"I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change."

~ Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror

It's going to take a long time. Inner change, outer change, all of it. All you have to do is take that first step and be a better person than you were yesterday. Keep moving forward.

You need to be hungry. Driven to want more. The only way that I can drive myself to want more and more is to make it enjoyable. Put some fun in your Fitness.

I know from personal experience that I have been so driven and so focused on losing weight and seeing no results that the anger welled up in me with no place to go. The more I exercised, the more tired I felt. The more tired I felt, the less I would sleep.

My life became a few months on the edge, stressed out from lack of sleep, tired from all the working out, and frustrated from the lack of weight loss.

I was angry, frustrated, and upset at everything and everyone. After living like that for a little while I decided it was time for me to take a step back. Relax. Do something that I enjoy. Take some time everyday to have some mandatory fun.

Eventually I took that mandatory fun and Incorporated it into my workout routine, putting some fun back into my fitness.

Ever since I took that necessary step, everything has been kind of falling into place. The diet, weight loss, etc.

So if you are thinking about taking up some Fitness, there are a lot of options out there. More than just hitting a gym.

During the pandemic home Fitness became very popular with Peloton Bikes, and Fight Camp. Zumba came out in 2019, and already was featured in many gyms.

Poor people like me? Fitness Boxing. Weights. Walking.

I only started adding more walking into my regime recently. I used to focus solely on Fitness Boxing and now I try to get in walking as well. Zumba can help with that too. For example if I'm in the middle of a spring cleaning project, I don't want to be leaving my house unless I have to until it's done. So besides me cleaning and getting exercise from that, I also incorporate Zumba.

If dancing is not your thing you can go outside and run. Go outside and take a walk. Go up and down stairs as much as you can.

Turn on some music that cooks while you make dinner and move about a bit.

I have an Alexa device and I do a very simple exercise. I have it go off and I just get up from the couch. And when I get up from the couch I have to bend down and touch the ground and then go back up. Do that 10 times and then I can go sit back on the couch again.

So ask yourself.. What drives me? What gets me up in the morning and out of bed? Find a way to make yourself move more during time.

Park further away from work, so you can walk. Get to work 30 minutes early and go for 20 minute walk. Walk 10 minutes in One direction turn around and walk back.

Go for a walk on your lunch break. Walk to go get lunch instead of driving over there or getting it delivered.

Little things, small steps, moving forward. You can be a better person than you were the day before. You can be a better person than you were mentally, physically, and emotionally.

You can have that strong mind, strong body, strong heart, spirit and soul. Just start with the man in the mirror. All you have to do is ask him to make that change.

[thedreadvampy]

god I'm so mad about PE ALL THE TIME

for a long time I felt bad about being mad about PE bc I was like. oh it's just that as an overachiever academically I Could Not Cope with not being good at a subject. how silly. this is probably how maths class feels for people who are bad at maths etc.

but I really don't think it is. because the goal of a maths teacher is to teach you maths. the standard they're being held to is to give you the tools to get better at it. if they don't we understand that as a failure of teaching, at least conceptually.

PE/gym teachers do not seem to be held to the same standard. the main role of PE teachers seems to be to Force Children To Exercise rather than to Teach Them How. it's like if the full extent of maths class was just giving you pages of equations and saying 'do these until you know how to' and if you say 'I don't understand this' they say 'try harder' and at no point do they even briefly explain what an equation is, the basic idea of how to do it, or what success would look like. and when they do a test they don't mark your answers individually or tell you where you went wrong or the right answer, you just get told 'you're bad at this.' (tbh not even 'you're bad at this do better' honestly just 'you're bad at this and will never be good at it')

I've talked to so many ppl from so many different school settings who are like 'I was awful at sports and then after I left school someone pointed out one very simple and obvious thing I was doing wrong and suddenly I found it super easy'.

if somebody can't do a pushup, teaching doesn't mean yelling at them to try harder, it means taking them through the process of building up to a pushup. if someone sucks at running, teaching means saying 'you're wasting all your energy on kicking your heels up, you need to be pushing down into the ground' not 'haha this guy sucks at running everyone look how slow they are'. if somebody has an asthma attack every time they play football, teaching probably looks more like 'here are some lower-impact exercises you can do on the side of the pitch while we play' not 'ugh fine sit out'

the point of PE being a compulsory subject is a) to keep kids active and b) to instill habits of exercise they can take into adult life. possibly c) to play Team Sports and develop socially from that.

but almost everyone I know who is afraid of or doesn't think they can do exercise learnt that at school. because the way PE tends to be taught consistently prioritises people who are already good at sports, and tells everyone who isn't that that's something inherent to them.

I tell this anecdote a lot but my mum was a world class athlete in the 70s and 80s. literally she has 3 world championships in women's rowing under her belt. she was invited to compete at the Olympics. she's good. but she spent her whole school career being told she couldn't do sports, couldn't run, was only good in hockey for standing at the back looking threatening etc. she found PE miserable and she was fully convinced sports just wasn't it for her. then she discovered archery and slapped at it. then she went to uni, joined the rowing team and within her first term learnt from other rowers how to fix her running, how to do pushups and situps in a way that worked for her, how to get to a place where she could comfortably do weights - because her teammates were working with her, not getting mad that she didn't fit the PE box made for her.

it's just fucked imo how much of a site of misery PE is for so many of us. and we're made to feel like that's a reflection on us being Unfit Lazy Sloths who Don't Want To Exercise and not a reflection on how it's taught. most kids want to exercise if you help them find an exercise that's fun for them and a way to do it that meets their needs. most of us like to be active. it feels good.

but PE teachers en masse, and I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions but in general, aren't interested in fitting the exercise to the child but in fitting the child to the exercise. and so exercise becomes this site of shame and inadequacy and anxiety.

I'M NEARLY 30 AND I KEEP DISCOVERING EXERCISE I LIKE! stuff that I have done before and hated! but in a setting where I'm being encouraged and guided towards succeeding instead of shamed for failing I'm having a whale of a time! I've learnt to like swimming again, dancing, climbing, running (still bad at it though), straight up working out (situps and pushups still injure me so I talked to a PT and they helped me design around that instead of telling me to do it more)

it is fucking insane. that the vast majority of us found specifically PE this immense site of trauma and distress and overwhelming negativity and yet. we're just fine with that as a society? we're like hmmm yes sounds like it's the kids' fault for being lazy and unfit and not instinctual athletes. all of them, including ones who are very fit out of school or later in life, and despite the fact that this is so much more across the board than hatred of literally any other single subject. yes. it's the children who are wrong.