#you know what willow also deserves better

[space--butterflies]

not to be a bitch, but it's feeling more and more like the fandom is reducing/has reduced Hunter to just being Willow's boyfriend Caleb, and nothing else lately.

[coraniaid]

The scene where Willow confronts Faith is Choices is kind of fascinating to me, because ... well.

I like Choices quite a lot, and I think Willow's dislike of Faith is perfectly understandable and in character (and her speech has some fun but probably not intentional foreshadowing for later seasons), but it's hard not to notice that the narrative expects you to be rather more unambiguously on Willow's side than I think is really warranted.

I mean, Willow might not have been the most popular girl in high school, but she has multiple close friends, a nice boyfriend, a stable [and fairly comfortably middle-class] home life, she "represents the pinnacle of achievement in Sunnydale High" in the words of her school's principal, she's trusted enough to teach at the school, in a year she'll be able to go to any college she wants (and, unlike some people, she can afford to go anywhere she wants), she used to hack into government computer databases (before she ever met Buffy!) and now she's teaching herself dark magic "for fun" and she hasn't [yet] ever suffered any real repercussions for either of those things.

On the other hand, from what little we hear about Faith's past we know she grew up poor and that her mother used to get drunk and beat her, that she didn't have any friends and dropped out of high school young, she is very strongly implied on multiple occasions to have been the victim of some pretty horrific abuse before being called as a Slayer, and after being called as a Slayer she got to watch the one adult who ever told her she mattered get killed horribly in front of her before fleeing across the country to a town where she doesn't know anybody, still has no friends, doesn't have a job or go to school and lives alone in a motel in the bad part of town. And when she accidentally killed a man, while trying to do the whole slaying vampires thing she's supposed to be doing, the Watcher's Council -- who never actually bothered to send her a new Watcher of her own -- decided to have her abducted and dragged away to England [a fate which surely nobody deserves].

Yet a part of Willow clearly thinks (and almost outright says) "oh, well, yeah, but she hangs out with Buffy sometimes when I don't get to and she slept with the guy -- not my nice boyfriend! -- who I used to have a crush on (and who I was briefly cheating on said boyfriend with), so it's clearly impossible to say which of us really had things worse and I don't need to feel sorry for her". And -- again, while this is great characterisation for Willow -- it's kind of hard not to notice that the writers think she has a compelling point.

Yes, sure, Faith has defected to working for the Mayor and has a knife drawn on Willow this scene (she's not anything like a blameless victim at this point of the story) and it takes a certain level of physical bravery for Willow to stand up for herself despite that. But ... I mean, come on. "You had friends like Buffy" is only true if you accept it to mean "you had exactly one friend, who was Buffy". "It's way too late" for Faith to seek forgiveness ... how many people has Faith killed at this point? One, by mistake? Giles has killed more people than that. "Some people think you had a lot of bad breaks?" Yeah, actually in Faith's shoes I'd want to hit Willow after she said that too.

I realize that part of the show's central thesis -- something that explicitly came up as recently as Earshot -- is the idea that everybody, regardless of how comfortable their life might seem from the outside, has their own sorrow and pain and (only occasionally metaphorical) demons to fight. But while that's not entirely wrong, it's also ... not entirely complete? Everyone has it bad sometimes, but some people really do have it worse than others. Pretending otherwise is ... not a serious position to take.

Willow's life could be better, but she's not gone through anything like Faith has. I'd argue she literally can't imagine how bad Faith's life has been. She really doesn't have as much moral authority as the show's writers think she has at this point.

[Compare this part of Season 3 with the first half of Season 6, when the show is overflowing with sympathy for Willow's abrupt descent into magic addiction but has no sympathy at all for Amy Madison, whose own magic addiction is just implied to be because she's inherently a Bad Person who Willow needs to avoid and whose own horrific past and abusive mother and complete lack of support system is just entirely forgotten about. Or, indeed, to the weird take of Dead Man's Party, which has Buffy apologize to Willow for ... what? Having problems of her own that don't revolve around Willow? Being too busy mourning the loss of everything she ever cared about to tell Willow how uniquely special and amazing she was for learning rudimentary magic? Not being grateful enough for Willow restoring Angel's soul without bothering to ask Buffy if that was something she still wanted her to try?]

So, the overall effect is ... yeah, it's a good scene. But it's almost a good scene despite the writer's intentions, not because of them. It's much less of an ambiguously triumphant moment for WIllow than I believe we're meant to read it as.

[fahye]

book recs sept/oct 2023

THE SPEAR CUTS THROUGH WATER by simon jiminez -- I have no idea how to describe this. best book I've read in a year. absolutely gutting and beautiful and intricately put-together fantasy about two young men escorting an escaped god-empress on a pilgrimage to bring down an empire. but actually it's so much more intimate than that. please please please read this book, it deserves the world. yes it's gay.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO by jessica dettmann -- an aussie romcom tailored specifically to me, someone who imprinted on the kenneth branagh much ado about nothing movie. very meta and genre aware, lively and touching, a heap of fun.

LOOKING GLASS SOUND by catriona ward -- also very meta! it's uhhh about a bisexual disaster teen's coming-of-age summer, and also about the decades-later fight over who gets to control the narrative of that summer. and hauntings. and serial killers. every single one of ward's books is its own unique thing and a wonder to behold.

THE NOBLEMAN'S GUIDE TO SEDUCING A SCOUNDREL by kj charles -- if i haven't made you read any kjc books by now then what are we doing here. I don't know how she keeps getting better and better and better. this one is another slippery liar/stubbornly goodhearted but bad-tempered lord pairing. I adored every word.

NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS by jodi mcalister (ARC) -- 3rd book in her series set on a bachelor-like tv show, and my hands-down favourite. friends to lovers but also make it schemer 4 schemer!! I would die for this ruthless tv villain and her sleep deprived gremlin producer and their intense, searing, incredible romance entirely free of conventional moral compasses.

THE HOLLOW PLACES by t. kingfisher -- how are her books both so hilarious and so wildly, skin-crawlingly unsettling?? I think it's because of how relatable the protagonist is. I would react EXACTLY like kara if I found an eerie alternate dimension nexus made of willow trees in the walls of my uncle's weird museum. superb and very readable horror.

THE GILDED CROWN by marianne gordon (ARC) -- fantasy with a sapphic romance between a death-witch and the assassinated princess she was hired to raise from the dead. yes you're right that DOES sound amazing. the writing is assured and smooth and propulsive; if you like stories with a heightened mythic/fairytale feel, you'll love this.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

S/O who is always nice, polite, calm, and never angry. One day, skeleton accidentally pisses then off and are met with a murderous glare. Like if looks could kill, they'd be vaporised.

Main 10 pls

Undertale Sans - Oh. Ok, he calms down now. He looks down awkwardly, unsure what to say anymore to calm you down. He also quickly changes the subject and goes back to normal a few seconds after, trying to deflect the tension.

Undertale Papyrus - He's sure this is probably fine and continues talking, slowly panicking. He tries to keep a straight face but he's talking very fast now, and messing up his words, and playing with his hands... Everything is screaming anxiety honestly.

Underswap Sans - He's not impressed and simply smirks at your expression. Blue will learn the hard way when you suddenly throw pillow after pillow in his face, preventing him from sitting up.

Underswap Papyrus - Uh oh. Welp, uh, he's going to see Asgore now, or something. As long as he lives in the house to give you some space, he's fine. He's anxious you're mad at him, and he hates to find himself in these situations. Maybe come to fetch him when you're calmer, he's cowarding right now.

Underfell Sans - Uh oh. He knocks it off for a few hours and even (tries to) cook for you to calm you down. Ok, it's completely burned and it tastes nothing, but he tried? He looks like a kicked puppy, please forgive him. He knows he messed up :(

Underfell Papyrus - He doesn't look down. Two can play this game you know. You'll be the one to look down, he's not even sorry. Apologize first. He's not sure about why but apologizes. He did nothing wrong in his life.

Horrortale Sans - Oh look at that! He magically completely forgot what you were talking about! That has to mean everything is forgotten and that he deserves cuddles now, right? He headbutts you, purring like a tractor, and insists so much that you end up giving up and forgiving him. He's very proud of himself.

Horrortale Papyrus - He takes a step back, nervous. He decides to retreat and leave you alone. You find him later working hard in the field to the point of hurting himself to punish himself :( Willow really doesn't like that.

Swapfell Sans - He stays eyes in eyes, not impressed. You think you're scaring him? He gives you one of HIS death stares, which actually scares you a little. See? You're not scaring anyone. Cut the bullshit. He's not impressed and even a little mad now.

Swapfell Papyrus - You didn't explode yet so unfortunately, he didn't get the message and continues to push to see how far he can go. Unless you physically makes him understand he's too much by punching him in the face, he won't stop lol.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He smirks at your face, then casually draws two angry eyebrows above his eye sockets. See? You two are matching now. You're not impressed with his impersonation. But does Wine really care in the first place?

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He looks miserable and just retreats in his closet in shame for the rest of the day. Fortunately, when he'll get out, things will have magically became better! He feels safer hiding for now.

[sepublic]

In lieu of my latest reblog about people taking compelling characters and projecting their writing onto some other (usually white) dude, I want to bring up a post I had drafted all the way back from April, but never posted because at the time I still had enough patience not to. But now is different. I do think this analysis is a bit outdated because it doesn’t consider the mediocre white dude angle of Belos that I find paramount, but it’s good enough for my repurposed point.

-

            I find it funny when some people complain that the narrative was unfair to Belos despite his “trauma” and circumstances, like there aren’t multiple characters out there who parallel his issues, and get sympathy AND a redemption, in all but one case! Belos is narratively condemned not for what he has in common with others, but for what sets him apart, particularly his stubborn ego. Cases in point;

         “Belos deserved to have sympathy for having an unhealthy attachment to his more confident sibling that was mixed with resentment over being abandoned for someone else, culminating in guilt over hurting them and regretting it!”

         Lilith exists. She’s motivated by a massive inferiority complex with Eda, Gwen favors her. She’s clearly salty about Eda going off to have fun with Raine, and claims to Luz that she’s Eda’s ‘real’ family. She cursed her sister and felt enormous guilt over it… But in the end, Lilith IS given sympathy by the narrative, and the chance to redeem herself. And she takes just that.

         A lot of the people claiming Belos deserved better theorize that stabbing Caleb was an accident, and you know what? So was the permanence of Eda’s curse, Lilith expected it to only last a day and certainly not transform her sister. But Lilith still owned up. And she learned to make other friends while respecting Eda’s boundaries.

         “Belos was an orphan raised in a culture that encouraged genocide and a hatred of wild magic!”

         Caleb exists, he went through the exact same childhood as Philip, but still chose to change. And while they weren’t orphans at the time, Hunter and the Collector were also raised on genocide, taught to find wild/Titan magic apprehensive. But they loved it instead.

         “But Belos actually lost his brother, his loved one died!”

         So did Hunter’s! And he was shown to be snappy and aggressive, pouring himself into a mission to cope! But he still owned up, apologized to Willow for rebuking her. He lost Flapjack, and instead of making replicas of his lost loved one to keep to himself, discarding anyone that wasn’t close enough, Hunter made a diverse array of palismen for other kids, to give them the loving relationship he lost! Even his own palisman was clearly carved to be different from Flapjack, reminiscent but still their own thing.

         Then there��s Darius, who lost his mentor the previous Golden Guard; His own ‘Caleb’, so to speak! And he was also unpleasant about it, he took his grief out on Hunter, who had nothing to do with this! The canon audio diaries even confirm the apprehension has been going for a while… But Darius realized he was wrong to have projected onto Hunter, made up for this by practically adopting the kid and giving this kid the happy ending his mentor didn’t have; Passing the cycle of kindness the Golden Guard started. And his own grief is pointed out to the audience by Hunter himself.

         “They should’ve shown how having a hero complex and a desire to live out a fantasy can corrupt anyone!”

         Luz and the Collector. Luz herself makes these comparisons for Belos, and there were times where she hurt her friends trying to live out her fantasy, and/or planned to leave them under the impression she was doing the ‘right thing’. Luz makes a legitimate consideration that she could’ve been Belos, if she refused to listen to others and change. But Luz owned up! As did the Collector, whose escapism and wish to play the role of the ‘hero’, in this case Luz, causes them to do some pretty terrible things. But they still change after being called out, and are still given sympathy over the loneliness and trauma that fueled their escapism, as was Luz.

"Philip struggled with getting over a different type of fantasy, one that relied upon him conquering and hurting others!"

As did King! And King got over that, he quickly learned that other people would always be more important than his fantasies, even if the 'sacrifices' were a lot more minor. King started off the same, the difference is that he still grew up and that's why we judge his antics as so much more light-hearted.

         “Well that’s not fair, Philip’s examples were more extreme!”

         How about Eda’s curse? Belos never brings up his other sources of trauma as an excuse for his actions, but you know what he does invoke? His curse, claiming to Hunter and Luz that it forced him to act certain ways. But we see Eda, who got a rawer deal with her curse; She didn’t bring it upon herself, as Belos did. She legitimately loses control when it takes over. She scarred and disabled her father because of it, and you know what?

         Eda never uses her curse as an excuse. She never lets that justify what she’s done to people, and she even befriends the creature at the source of her curse, the Owl Beast. The curse she deals with is objectively worse, objectively more unfair, than Belos’. But it’s only Belos who actually cites his curse as an excuse, and the palismen at the source of it? He kills them.

         “Belos’ cursed form is treated as ugly and evil!”

         The palismen amalgam in his mind looked almost exactly the same, to the point where Hunter, who had seen Belos’ cursed form in person before, thought they were identical. But in the end, the palismen amalgam, despite resembling Belos’ cursed form, is a sympathetic and tragic victim who is murdered. Luz and Hunter mistaking him for Belos is justified, but it’s also still regrettable that they are judged by appearances.

         “It hurts people to sacrifice their morals for the greater good, you know!”

         Raine did that, they felt compelled to drag Darius and Eberwolf (one of whom was a childhood friend) into a murder-suicide, because as far as they knew, they were already going to be caught and executed, so may as well take their oppressors down with them! And they aren’t called out for it, because they couldn’t have known about Darius’ actual intentions…

         Because in the end, sometimes you have to punch a fascist, and sometimes you have to oppose a friend or loved one because they took the fascists’ side. It’s why Lilith is expected to change for Eda, not the other way around. Raine is not the aggressor here, it’s all from the principle of self-defense for themselves and the isles as a whole.

         And in the end, it’s because Raine is approaching from a place of actual good intent and moral concern that there are lines they still refuse to cross; As soon as they learn about Luz and King, they sabotage their own plans because they refuse to orphan these kids they just found out about for the ‘greater good’. When one of those very kids, Luz, makes Raine promise to keep Eda safe, you can see the conflict between their morals and their obligations in their eyes as Eda accepts the Bard sigil, and ultimately Raine powers through the draining spell to save Eda’s life, simply because Luz asked them to.

         I’ve talked since their debut of how Raine has some similarities to Belos, in particular how they both work their whole lives to infiltrate a group from within to topple it, even as they publicly support it as a celebrated leader. They both had to lie and work under the radar, and make effective rhetoric; They each wear their own masks. Raine has to constantly lie to and rebuke Eda about being brainwashed, and we can see the moral agony it gives them!

         But Raine is opposed to a legitimate threat, whereas Belos is completely making one up; Raine has to work under the micro-management of tyrants with control over them, Philip has been free from his colony for centuries, and even after finding out Gravesfield gave up on its witch hunting mission in the present, still traps himself of his own will. Belos feels no guilt for any of his ‘necessary evil’.

         Raine had actual morals unlike Belos that they did sacrifice, for an actual greater good, and they actually hurt over these choices. They dedicated their whole life to stop a dark and twisted parallel, which makes their inclusion in the finale as the only person outside of the core trio to help against Belos all the more deserved; They even help deliver the killing blows. And Raine is rewarded for all of their effort, allowed to see it come to fruition and rest happily afterwards, because they really were sincere, and actually did make sacrifices, something Belos preaches but never follows. Most importantly, Raine knew they couldn’t justify everything even for their morally-justified mission.

         “Belos was still legitimately wronged by Caleb for nothing, he didn’t deserve to be abandoned!”

         Even if we believe Caleb did ‘abandon’ Philip or whatever; The Collector was legitimately wronged by the Titan, imprisoned and isolated for millennia despite being innocent. But while he justifiably calls the Titan a bully, he never takes this out on King, or any other Titan for that matter, remembering the rest with love. Nor is the Collector expected to forgive the Titan; The Titan accepts she made the wrong call. After all, imprisoning the Collector left them in a vulnerable state to be exploited by Belos, and give him the draining spell…

         The Titan and Caleb’s mistakes were very much that, but the Collector matured for others, without needing an apology from the dead person who wronged him. And based on what we see of Belos’ memories, Caleb probably DID get to deliver that apology when he was alive, and Philip still insisted on being bitter!

         “His only childhood friend just ditched him for someone else!”

         That’s what happened to Willow, and that’s how she understood it for most of her life; Amity leaving her behind because she was too weak, and kids like Boscha and Skara were more popular, stronger, etc. But not only does the show say her rage against Amity is totally warranted and that the onus is on Amity to apologize, even if she didn’t choose to leave Willow (keep in mind she still saw Willow as a weak person to protect without input, as we later see in Labyrinth Runners)…

         Willow is still kind. She still opts to be compassionate to Gus, and to Luz, and in general a nurturing person despite her abandonment. And when Willow is given the chance to take revenge on Boscha by stealing her glory in Grudgby, she doesn’t kick the girl while she’s down to do so; But Willow is also allowed to still hold anger towards Boscha, as we see in Season 3. And assuming Caleb wasn’t malicious about leaving Philip behind, we clearly see how he welcomes his brother back and wants things to get better, just as Amity does; He had his own side of the story. And Willow doesn’t kill Amity despite being primed to very easily do so…

"But imagine finding out they CHOSE to leave you, when you thought they didn't!"

Camila?!?! In fact, Camila was THE precedent for this, and people went and applied her tragic scene to Philip to make HIM into some angsty sadboi! And last I checked, Camila didn't exactly murder Luz... Plus, Philip had infinitely more time to see Caleb and Evelyn interact, and thus figure out that Caleb wasn't being kidnapped or brainwashed; Compare that to Camila who is just dunked into that situation out of nowhere, and is barely even adjusting to Vee's existence on top of finding out Luz was someplace else the entire time, and dealing with Jacob.

"A lot of family members at least start off as well-intentioned when hurting loved ones, they could've shown that!"

Bold of you to assume that Belos' selfish entitlement towards Caleb is the same as Camila or Gwen's legitimate concerns for their daughters; They did unconditionally love and they were misguided. But when shown they were causing pain, they actually shifted gears instead of focusing on how they were fight because they knew better. And what they were doing WAS still harmful, even though they DID care.

         “Belos was probably a weirdo himself, and suffered from internalized hatred for his deviancy!”

         Lilith dyed her hair to fit in with the coven, and be taken seriously. Amity suppressed herself to be a stoic perfectionist, constantly trying to justify her own existence as she says; She had to work to be good at magic while others like Gus, Emira, and Edric were naturally talented, and was made to hate those who weren’t successful as witches. Hunter too loathed his own lack of bile magic!

         Most tellingly, Camila herself was taught to hide her weirdness, grew up thinking she was successful for doing that, and even tried to impose the same on Luz because of that misconception! But Camila realized what was done to her was wrong, and the same applied to her daughter; Accepting Luz’s weirdness meant accepting her own.

         “Even if he still chose to double down in villainy, Belos could’ve at least been given a moment where he was sympathetic, where his sadness was shown, before nevertheless deciding his fate!”

         Kikimora had an entire episode where she agonized over her obligations to a mother that seemed low key abusive, given her threat to disown her. We see her hesitate, cry, and be legitimately disappointed when she’s rewarded for staying with Belos by ‘getting to live’, a reward that doesn’t even last by the Day of Unity! Even after Kikimora makes her choice to betray Luz and Amity, we still get a final scene of her looking uncertain and even regretful of her decision, before she commits. Kikimora isn’t redeemed but is still humanized, despite being less human than Belos, so to speak.

         She’s even a dark parallel to Lilith, having jealousy towards the Golden Guard, an emotionally abusive mother, and an inferiority complex towards other members of the coven despite working directly with Belos! And she is given many chances to escape Belos, a few months where she is legitimately free from him, and chooses to remain in her ways because Kikimora’s difference with Lilith isn’t that life was more unfair to her, it’s that she refused to change.

         Now this is a bit out there, but there’s also the other Coven Heads! Mason, Vitimir, Hettie, and Osran! The show was shortened, so who knows what they could’ve provided for the story… Mason, Hettie, and Osran especially, since they’re not included amongst the coven head loyalists who still cling to power, even after Belos’ death. The show could’ve easily set up sympathetic moments to indicate a possibility of change, paying off in the epilogue; But because of Disney, you can’t blame the writers for not delivering everything they could’ve.

         “How about a character who was just… an asshole, no outside reason given?”

         Boscha, who was popular and privileged. While she does allude to some pressures that motivate her, as far as we know, there wasn’t really anyone or anything that made her be so cruel towards those she perceives as lesser. But despite this, Willow doesn’t see any point in trying to take Boscha’s spotlight as a Grudgby captain, when offered by her teammates; She doesn’t kick Boscha when she’s down. And Boscha is ultimately still recognized as unhappy with the loss of her friends, so even if she does do egregious things during the Collector’s reign, Amity offers Boscha the chance to become better and improve, as she did. And she takes it!

         “Well, none of these characters had to grapple with having done things nearly as bad as Belos!”

         And why do you think that is? Why are Belos’ sins so monumental in comparison, how did they get so bad? Because he kept refusing to change, kept refusing each opportunity, and got worse because of that. His first confirmed murder was Caleb, who right beforehand embraced his brother during what appeared to be a manifestation of the curse. But Philip still chose to commit his first sin despite receiving such unconditional sympathy, because he wanted control, not happiness. He didn’t start off as a genocidal dictator, he worked his way up to that over centuries.

         “They make it seem like Belos was born evil!”

         Our earliest chronological appearances of Philip are as a happy, carefree child who plays games with the brother he loves and looks up to; That isn’t the portrayal of someone ‘born’ evil. This is the portrayal of someone who became that way, over time, because he refused to concede anything to anyone, and wore away what decency he had across centuries, until we see the Emperor that Belos is when the show starts.

         An evil dictator who ravaged an entire world for hundreds of years came from an innocent little kid, and Luz becomes self-aware of how this can apply to her, even as she’s reminded that she also ISN’T like Belos because of this critical reflection and willingness to listen. Belos, on the other hand, consciously cultivated an echo chamber for centuries, killing any Grimwalker he felt disagreed with him, despite their unconditional love and support. He deliberately shut himself off from the isles and ignored the kindness of others.

         Bump reminds Faust that it’s disingenuous to project malice onto children who often simply don’t know any better, and just need to be given a chance to be taught and educated. But kids also have to take initiative to mature when they get older, hence why we hold adults more responsible; The established logic is that Belos wasn’t an evil child, he was simply a child who never grew up and that’s where his evil came from, rather than being some pre-existing source.

         To be honest, I think the narrative doesn’t bother showing sympathy to Belos over his trauma because he’s already HAD more than enough sympathy, across centuries, from his brother, the Grimwalkers, his followers, even Luz and the Collector! So the story doesn’t feel the need to waste tears on someone who already got them, and instead focuses sympathy to characters who haven’t received as much, if any; People like Lilith, Amity, Hunter, etc.

         Belos is the culmination of other characters’ traumas (who prove you can still choose to be better and happier despite these things), and was practically coddled by the people in his life for it. But he still chose to be bitter, never opened up to accept help, and his rejection brought even more pain that he could only blame on himself. Belos’ only tragedy is his refusal to change for the better; Even the narrative has made it clear he had chances, tears wept for him by people he knew.

He is a mirror to so many characters, what could’ve happened if they looked at their own pain and used it as justification to continue lashing out, because clearly they are the underdog heroes who have been wronged and are fighting against an injustice, right? The hero of their own story, if you will. Hell, we still also get that with Kikimora, as I just said! What I’ve listed is not a double standard, but rather proof that Belos was not uniquely condemned by his circumstances, for he is alike many characters as I mentioned. And Belos does not need to be portrayed “sympathetically” in order for the audience to understand the relevance of these parallels; Namely, that Belos has no excuse to still be like this when those similar nevertheless choose not to be cruel, and will accept others’ compassion.

         And besides, with how the show was shortened… Who’s to say the writers didn’t plan to throw Belos a sympathetic moment of genuine loneliness, before doubling down? Not that they really would’ve needed to. But if they planned it, the writers had to leave it out to prioritize the weirdos this show is actually about, due to the shortening.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Snowleapord blake and the schnee siblings watch kali and ghira hit on willow till willow goes to there hotel room.

Willow: *Enjoying a nice meal with the Belladonnas*

Ghira: *Flirting with kindness*

Kali: *Flirting with promiscuity*

Blake: *Hiding in Bushes* Oh they Fuckin'

Winter: *Also hiding in Bushes* Please don't speak about our mother so crassly!

Weiss: *Also hiding in Bushes* Indeed, we just keeping an Eye on her. Even if your Parents are forgiving many other may not be.

Whitley: *Sitting at a nearby table, not hiding in the slightest* I think Mother deserves it.

Weiss: HUH?

Winter: What! Whitley!

Whitley: She was with father for your entire life Winter, much like myself. The heavens know I'd take a new dad the moment he presented himself a worthy candidate. The few folk I could imagine being worthy are your teammate's families Weiss.

Winter: That's incredibly-

Weiss: No no, he has a point.

Blake: My parent's will treat her right.

Winter: *Sigh* Fine.

Whitley: Ope. They're moving. Check please!

Blake: Alright! Let's follow them!

~The Quartet move through shadows (Except Whitley, who just walks normally) trailing their parents - to a hotel~

Winter: Alright, And now they break apart and mother- Mother's going in with them.

Blake: Like I said, they're fucking.

Weiss: I mean not necessarily. she could just be visiting-

Whitley: *On his scroll* It's a love hotel.

Winter: How do you-

Whitley: *Showing his scroll to her* It's a love hotel.

Winter: ...

Winter: *Clicks tongue* Well, I hope she's alright.

Blake: Oh she'll be alright~

Weiss: Okay, YOU REALIZE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOUR PARENTS TOO?

Blake: Menagerie's a lot less uptight about sexual relations - we have the lowest "Messy" divorce and STD Transfer rates in all of Remnant. I don't think about what parents do, but I am cognizant of it.

Whitley: She's right.

Weiss: How do you know that-

Whitley: Looked it up. I decided to look over all public knowledge of the Belladonna family, and Menagerian cultures and beliefs. Mother just wanted me nearby in case something went wrong so I could support her. She'll be fine.

Winter: Why you? Me and Weiss are strong-

Whitley: Yes, you r both strong, while *I* have nothing but my charisma. You'd both make a scene, while I can calm them down - better than either of you, at least.

Winter: Well-

Weiss: No, no, he has a point.

Winter: *Disgruntled Huff*

~~~~~

Willow: They're still out there ...

Kali: Well, if they want to walk in on something~

Ghira: We'd be more than happy to teach them not to pry into 'Private' Matters~

Willow: O-oh! You've been serious?

Kali: Well, Yes. If that makes you uncomfortable, We understand but ...

Ghira: You are very stunning Willow. We don't need to do anything immediately if you don't want to, we don't need to do anything at all. Just know the offer is there.

Willow: *Blushing* W-Well it has been a while since I slept in a warm bed ...

Kali: *Grinning like that cat that caught the mouse, grabbing onto Willow's hips* Perfect~

Ghira: *Gently Pinning Willow to the wall* We'll be as gentle as you'd like

Willow: (OH SWEET MERCIFUL HEAVENS~)

[lesbianabril]

My S6 BTVS rewrite

I know this season has a lot of haters but I actually love season 6, I don't mind the depressing parts (meaning: most of the season) because I think it all makes sense for where the characters are at, and I think that after fighting a literal God having a season where the villain is Life really works storytelling-wise.

Having said that, though, I think that a lot of things could have been handled better and since all I have are correct opinions I'm gonna tell you what those are.

1. Willow's magic addiction

Basically I think they went too far when the magic became drugs in the most basic sense, when they start acting like she's "taking a hit" every time she uses it.

I think all of the important plot points could have been kept while making willow's addiction to magic about her need to be in control of everything (and everyone). Up to Tabula Rasa I wouldn't change anything, her use of magic is wrong because she starts using it to bend the world at her will, empowered by having successfully brought Buffy back to life.

After Tara leaves her she starts using even more magic while being reckless with it, she injures Dawn and she commits to stop using it because she realizes it wasn't healthy for her or for the people she loves.

I would eliminate Rack and his stupid crack house hide out, and everything that has to do with the physical withdrawal of going "cold turkey".

I think this also makes Willow responsible for her actions, while making magic = literal heroin absolves her of the blame, in the end. The fallout of having to deal with her dependence of it would also be way more compelling.

2. Spike's attempted r4pe

I would keep their toxic relationship and everything that led up to that god-awful bathroom scene, my only change is that I would make it so Spike is trying to turn her instead.

Hear me out. It would make a lot of narrative sense because all through the season he's trying to convince her she's a dark being just like him, he wants them to be equals because he doesn't think himself worthy of her so he's trying to lower her to his level. So, after Buffy rejects him again he's not thinking clearly and, in his desperation, tries the only thing he swore himself he wouldn't do since he loves Buffy because of her goodness.

After it happens, Buffy feels betrayed, Spike leaves and decides to try to get to her level, to truly change himself instead of trying to change her.

This is a minor thing too but in this rewrite after Spike leaves we don't know where he went and we don't see him again until the start of s7 when he already has his soul. I know this couldn't be done because of James Marsters' contract but in my dream s6 we don't know what happened to him so when we see him again everything about his sudden disappearence and current mental state is a mystery and we find out along with Buffy.

3. Xander dies instead of Tara

Ok maybe this one is based on my dislike of Xander and my love of Tara but I think this would work really well:

Willow and Tara haven't gotten together yet, Willow is working on her more controlling tendencies and they're just friends right now. When Warren shows up Buffy is in the garden with Dawn and Xander went up to Willow's room to talk to her, so both Buffy and Xander get shot, Dawn takes Buffy to the hospital and dark Willow is born after she's not able to revive Xander.

After that things are mostly the same, only this time we get a grieving Buffy trying to deal with the sudden loss of both of her best friends. She's devastated and a part of her says that yes, Warren deserves to die.

After everything happens and Willow is close to destroying the world, Tara is the one who shows up, she appeals to Willow's humanity and, through her love and compassion, saves the world.

[mayandjuly1811]

i hate huntlow and I also hate willow. one of her fans was toxic. they doxxed me and called me a fatphobe and racist just because I dont like her

I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope you're okay. Overall, Willow is a good character with good development. Nevertheless, she has some bad behaviors in the show that I couldn't bring myself to like her.

Warning: this is my personal thought about my disliking for this character, I'm not attacking or hating other people who like Willow.

1.Academic cheating.

I think that Amity is wrong for bullying Willow, but Willow isn't in the right for cheating either.

No matter what the reasons are, cheating on exams is wrong. Willow literally cheats, which takes away the top student badge that Amity works hard to earn. She has to find better ways to get a passing grade instead of cheating.

She's bad at Abomination magic, so she can never get a passing grade without cheating. Okay, if she was gonna cheat, then don't let it affect other people. She should have stopped when she received the A+, not taking the top student badge because all Willow wants is the passing grade, not that badge. She could just refuse when the Professor gives her the badge. It's not that hard. She could say, “Sorry Professor, but I only received one A+. I think giving me the top student badge after one good test is not an exhaustive evaluation. If I get more As in the future, then I'll accept the badge.” It's unfair that Willow only earns one A+ but can get the badge from Amity, who has been working hard to achieve many good grades.

In the end, after cheating, sneaking a human at school, taking away the badge that she doesn't deserve, putting the school in vines and jeopardy, hurting the school Principal, Willow gets rewarded by being transferred to the Plant Track. She faces no consequences. She still keeps the top student badge that she gained by cheating at the end of that episode.

2.Being controlling and violent sometimes.

This is proved in Understanding Willow, Willow literally throws both Luz and Amity forcefully inside the picture. She throws Luz inside so hard that she may have a concussion. I understand why she does that to Amity, but why Luz, her best friend? All Luz wants is to help Willow, at that time, she's innocent. Willow only gets suspicious of Luz turning her memories photo back at the end of that episode.

Next is the first time she met Hunter. Willow seems to be violent for no reason at all. Hunter disguises as a Hexside student so to Willow, he's just a student that she doesn't know. He's not a threat at all. She then summons the vines to capture him and drags him down so hard that the asphalt gets damaged. How could anyone treat strangers like this?

When Hunter is about to leave again, Willow, with a satisfying smirk, drags him down the ground and takes him to the field without asking his permission. And this scene is so traumatizing for Hunter because it's the same as when Belos drags him down the ground. Hunter looks utterly scared and suffocated. She doesn't respect Hunter's boundaries and decision at all, it's like she's forcing him to join the team.

3.Lack of understanding in some episodes.

In Something Ventured, Something Framed, Gus secretly sneaks Luz inside Hexside although Luz is still banned. Willow sees Luz there, yet she doesn't stop Gus or at least warns Luz about it. She's the one who knows more clearly than anyone else about what consequences Luz may face. Last time, Luz was chased after by Principal Bump and Amity for trespassing. All for helping Willow get a passing grade. Is it too difficult for her to tell Gus that "Gus, stop!" or warns Luz that "You're still banned from Hexside"? She doesn't say anything and only makes a face like this.

In Really Small Problems, Willow is being inconsiderate of King's feelings. King shows how sad he is when he's neglected from the group the whole time. He has abandonment issues. Yet, Willow, along with Gus, keeps talking about the three-people games in front of King, as if they just want to exclude King from the group, not to mention King is there with Luz first, while Willow and Gus only tag along.

After losing Flapjack and being possessed by Belos, Hunter is grieving over the loss of his best friend. Yet, Willow, along with Gus, still laugh and make jokes. Therefore, it makes Hunter feel uncomfortable. Willow doesn't have to cry or feel depressed like Hunter when he lost Flapjack, but at least have some seriousness and respect. If she can't comfort him or say anything nice, then it's better to stay silent. It's offensive when a person is in grief over their loved one and their close friends make jokes instead of comforting them. That's insensitive of Willow and I feel uncomfortable like Hunter in that scene.

Willow has good intentions of comforting Hunter in For the Future but it's not in a good way. Hunter just lost Flapjack and he's grieving. The fact Willow gives him the Flapjack picture is like rubbing salt to his wound. When Hunter looks upset, Willow should have stayed to continue to comfort him, not leaving and making it all about her. Dealing with the loss of Flapjack and Belos's possession is too much for Hunter, yet now he feels guilty because his own grief makes Willow feel sad. How is Hunter supposed to act around Willow after that? Bottling up his sadness and trauma from Willow anytime in fear of upsetting her? That scene is one of the reasons why I dislike Huntlow.

Also, she teases a stranger in the store in Thanks to Them and interrupts other people's business. Seriously, that man just minds his own business of buying stuff in the store, he doesn't deserve to be poked in the bottom by a stranger and receive no apology at all. It also affects the shop's owner when seeing her customer get bothered like that. Worse, when running away, Willow even smiles and shows no remorse at all. After that, she just goes back and gives the owner a coin? I don't find this funny at all.

4.Being too arrogant in For the Future.

She keeps talking about getting revenge, punching Belos in the face even though her power isn't strong enough to fight him. Willow is a powerful witch, but she doesn't take into account that the whole Hexsquad group had two fights with Belos and all five of them couldn't take him down. She can't even defeat Kikimora and the Abomaton, much less Belos.

Willow isn't fast enough to dodge Kikimora's attack even with Gus's help, then Hunter has to come in to save her.

5.Taking photos without permission or asking first.

This one is from my personal experience so I take this seriously.

As a person who is insecure about looks and hates having photos taken without permission, I would feel uncomfortable if I were Luz and Amity. In this picture, Luz and Amity are having a date. And a date is supposed to be private between the two. Yet, Willow secretly stalks them, interrupts their date and takes this embarrassing photo to put in the album.

How would you feel when your friend stalked you and your date partner, interrupted your date and took a bad photo without asking?

When Amity is being serious about finding ways to go back home, Willow interrupts her speaking by taking a bad picture of her without asking again and puts it in the scrapbook.

This is my personal opinion, if anyone disagrees with anything, please comment in a civil way.

[mdhwrites]

Luz makes a lot of mistakes in season 1 but fandom barely talks about it. I hate the mistake she makes in Adventures in the Elements the most. She literally steals Amity's training wand, uses it without permission, ignores Eda's advice and triggers the Slitherbeast. Eda, along with Amity's siblings get captured and almost killed. I remember Luz doesn't even apologize for what she did to any of them. Seeing Amity get mad at her is totally deserved, and she rightfully gets to feel angrier at Luz. It's like a backward in Lost in Language in which Luz apologizes Amity for trespassing her secret hideout and reading her diary.

Adventure in the Elements is one of the most fascinating episodes of TOH for me because you talk about all of her mistakes... And that episode is a culmination of a lot of them. Literally a minimum of three different lessons are retaught in that one but instead of Luz being punished for these things, she's rewarded with a new spell. It is a perfect encapsulation of why TOH sucks ass as a kid's show.

Because let's break down some of this:

"Steals Amity's training wand"

Episode 4, The Intruder, features Luz stealing from Eda to get a leg up in magic to terrifying consequences. One could also argue that Luz was reminded that one should respect other's boundaries and the damage betraying their trust can do in Lost in Language, episode 7, by how it devastates Amity to have Luz have invaded her space and seen her diary.

"Ignores Eda's advice and triggers the Slitherbeast."

In episode 3, Luz is taught to at least try and listen to Eda about magic because Eda, you know, might know what she's talking about. Episode 2 even reinforces the idea that Luz needs to listen to Eda because her mentor will help her grow up. Thrown out here.

"Along with Amity's siblings getting captured and almost killed"

Selfish bravado to impress others leading to people almost being murdered? It's not Luz's lesson, except that one could argue it's a part of Once Upon a Swap where she learns why Eda doesn't show off, but Willow's from Hooty's Moving Hassle where her need to prove she's better than Amity, that she's a strong witch, gets Luz, Willow and Gus captured and almost killed.

And Adventure in the Elements is episode 12. I just listed HALF of the episodes that come before this one. And yet instead of showing us how much Luz has grown midway through the season, she repeats as many of her past mistakes as she possibly can.

HOWEVER

She does apologize... Kind of. She apologizes in the same way she does for a lot of things in S1 by setting it right. She made up for things by trying to fix the damage they did, such as going to Amity after the witch's duel or saving Eda after causing her to transform or going after Amity in the library. It's part of why her deciding not to fix her mistake in S3 is so abhorrent to me because her saving grace was to try and fix things but apparently in the end she can't be bothered when fixing it is too hard.

No, the bigger problem to me than the lack of apology is that most of this stuff goes unaddressed. She fixes that the siblings were killed but the rest? Amity joins the Azura Book Club and she gets a new glyph. In fact, she is put in time out and the only one she admits to having been wrong about is that Eda was right about magic being everywhere because she gets her glyph because of that. The rest though? Just normal children's show protagonist things!

Which would scan a lot better if A: TOH didn't despise being a kid's show and B: if it were a better kid's show. If it were like Amphibia where it teaches constantly new and evolving morals about different parts of life instead of constantly going back against basic behavioral things like whether or not it's okay to lie. Instead, it ignores a lot of that to claim it's more complicated and more mature when in actuality it uses every last excuse of a kid's show when it's convenient for itself, such as people ignoring when the main character does awful things to them.

You can't have it both ways and you certainly can't have a hero who only knows how to make the same mistakes all the time while claiming they're doing nothing wrong. It's a shame the fandom learned to ignore Luz's mistakes because the show has no interest in thinking Luz did anything wrong.

======+++++======

Another problem to all of this btw is just that it's boring. Like S1 has a reputation for being boring because of all of this repetition and it deserves it for that reason.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[tohwitchesduels]

SECOND ROUND OF WITCHES DUELS - Battle 10: Amity Blight vs Willow Park

Disclaimer: This is not a popularity contest or which character you prefer, in this tournament, you decide who is stronger/better/smarter/etc. opponent.

information for both opponents under the cut to those who don't know what they can do in their battle:

Oh boy, here we arrive at the battle of the century and probably the most anticipated battle of this tournament that could even be worthy of being the final battle. Kinda sucks it has to be the second round but I already postponed it from the first round so it's already overdue. Without further updo, let's get into this battle and see for ourselves what happens here.

Now, unlike battles of the first round, here I will just post links instead of expositions as they would be too long and wouldn't fit all pictures here, but I will write here at least some details regarding both opponents.

During this battle, both of them are allowed to use their Palismen.

Amity Blight

Amity doesn't necessarily know if she can truly do it. After everything they've been through, it does pain her to face her childhood friend after just rekindling their relationship and having to be terrible to her her entire life. Her heart isn't entirely in it because of that. But at the same time, she's come to realise how much Willow flourished and grew and how she's not helpless, a broken soul she once knew and she wants to do her justice, she wants to give her the duel she deserves, without patronizing her skill anymore. She also promised Luz she would meet her in the finals and she wants to keep that promise, even if it means she has to defeat Willow, but can she bring herself to do that?

Amity may not possess as much raw power and brutal strength as Willow, but she compensates for it with her skill and creativity when it comes to the usage of her abominations. Both of them are capable, talented warriors, and Amity possesses an ambitious streak and pragmatic poise that helps her dominate the battlefield. Her abominations proved in LR to be able to block Willow's vines and slow down their rampage, and her fire spell could burn through Willow's plants. Granted during this battle Willow is on offense and Amity's foundation is shaken meaning she fights mostly defensively in this battle unlike offensively as she did in the first round.

However, if Amity recognizes how both she and Willow are approaching this battle with the wrong mindset, she could reach out to her and assure her that she believes in Willow, that there are no hard feelings, and that the past is in the past. This could allow her to get the second wind and give Willow the battle she deserves while also letting Willow control her powers better.

Willow Park

Willow knew this would happen sooner or later and she was looking forward to it. She's not necessarily happy, she knows she has to do it if she really wants to win this tournament. Unlike Amity, however, she's not this pained to fight Amity as she waited a long time to actually get her comeuppance after everything Amity. Not that she holds a grudge against her best friend anymore, after all, Willow's strength enhanced because she rekindled her friendship with Amity, but Willow really wants to prove to her one more time that yes, they're equal, and yes Willow is capable of winning this tournament and she's not going down easily and she would never be pushed around by Amity again for being "too weak". Willow has the drive, determination, and ambition to win this tournament and be declared the most powerful teenage witch of the Isles now that she has a chance to prove it.

Amity as far as Willow remembers always looked down on her and hardly knew how capable she was until LR. So she's willing to go all out and reveal now all her tricks so Amity sees it for herself, even if at a disadvantage. She's putting everything she has on the table whether or not Amity already knows about her tricks, and she may not for all we know. In the same vein because Willow is putting everything into this fight to defeat Willow she may at times overcommit and she could most likely make strategic errors, even though she knows what to expect from Amity and does try to play her cards smartly, but her desire to win could potentially blind her to be outsmarted if she acts too reckless and is not careful enough in the name of proving her own strength Willow is on offense during this battle but has a very strong defense as well.

While Willow has great control over her powers, there is a possibility she could lose control if the emotions during this battle (especially knowing what is at stake for her) are too intense and the plant magic could act against Willow as well.

Return to the Masterpost.

[lampmanliveblogs]

Oh look, it’s the echo mouse Musse.

…you know, I don’t think I ever explained why I call him that. It’s because the swedish name for Mickey Mouse is Musse Pigg. That’s it. But hey, he gets to have one last appearance, pulling a Cinderella alongside Bat-Queen’s kids. I mean, that has got to be a deliberate reference to the Disney animated Cinderella, right?

Steve’s here too, of course, and he’s cutting into a cake. As someone who likes to bake but isn’t that good at it, I like to say that I’m not very good at making things that look good, but I can make things that taste good.

This is the exact opposite of that.

And with King growing older and stronger, he’s beginning to generate his own magic and his own glyphs! Hmm… it looks like his glyphs have a different design, but i assume they’d be the same four elements.

(also, while rewinding the scene, I noticed Eda’s wearing Raine’s earring. cute)

The crew, who know and love me, gives me just a few more pretty lights to look at with big wide eyes, drawn to them like a moth. The Collector’s in the neighborhood and decided to put on a big ol lightshow.

On this last good bye, they threw in a few more characters, just for funsies. We’ve got Salty the boat captain, Willow’s parents, a couple of faeries, Gus’ dad, Tibbles, and that little kid from Separate Tides.

So… this is the end, huh?

What do I even say? What do I even say? What can i say about this show?

This liveblog exists because of The Owl House. At the time, I was in a creative rut and trying to find some way out of it. I figured maybe getting into a new series might help. I was also a fan of several liveblogs, and so I thought, why not try it? I figured it might get me back to writing.

My journey, as my loyal readers know, has not been always been a smooth sailing. It’s taken me a long time to get here; I finished this episode over a year after it came out for crying out loud. There have been times when I’ve been beat down and unable to create. But never did I lose my love for this show, to contrary, it only ever grew greater.

So yeah, good show, 6/10.

…

I’M JOKING! I’M JOKING, THAT WAS A JOKE! P-please put that down, it was only a joke!

Jeez luise, you people… ahem.

No, I love this show. That much should be clear, no matter how much snark I inject or how many sarcastic quips I sprinkle into my text, the time spent with this show has been genuinely good. And I joke about things, how we never got Bat-Queen’s backstory for example. But, well… there’s a good reason for that. This show deserved so much better, and the amazing crew deserved so much better. Still, they delivered a fantastic story, and I will undoubtedly return to this again and again.

So what comes next?

As I’ve already mentioned, I am going to watch and liveblog, or at least make some post about The Owl House pilot episode which was leaked a while back. i don’t know what the timeframe is on that, but hopefully not too long.

I’m also gonna keep working on that Vee fic. Speaking of which, I linked it earlier, but just in case you missed it, the first chapter (and a prelude) is up on AO3 right now. I’ll continue to post updates on here, so stay tuned for that as well. I don’t know how long it will take for that to get done, but I’m really excited to work on it, more excited than I’ve been for any creative work in a long time. I’m beginning to feel like maybe I’m not a complete and utter failure and a talentless hack.

Will I continue posting incorrect quotes? Maybe. I’ll continue as long as I get new ideas and I’ll stop when I run out.

But the real question is, what is the next liveblog? Well, I’ve said that already as well, but for those who weren’t paying attention…

The next liveblog will be Amphibia! I’ve bene looking forward to that one for some time now.

My aim right now is to get started with Amphibia in July. Why July? Because that’s when I go on my vacation.

I should probably also do some tidying up on this blog, do some upgrades. I also wanna clean out my askbox, cause, uh… I’ve got a couple of unanswered asks… some of which have been sitting there for a long time now… I should really get around to that.

For now… this has been The Owl House, I’m The Lampman, and I would like to thank you for reading. Take care of the planet Earth and remember that anything can happen in space!

Our lives became a fairy tale Without rules or laws But is there anyone who knows? If the journey has an end?

The End… for now

[raisedbythetv89]

I hate all of this “well he was Buffy’s first love!” talk when discussing how much pain and devastation Angel caused in Buffy’s life as if for women our first loves MUST be horrible and painful always???? As if it was unavoidable anyway so let’s not be too critical of him.

First off, HE LITERALLY WASNT EVEN HER FIRST LOVE

The show acknowledges what happens in the movie so canonically what happened in the movie happened to tv show Buffy INCLUDING HER RELATIONSHIP. ANGEL WAS NOT HER FIRST LOVE.

Angel was just the first guy who stalked and targeted Buffy when she was at her most vulnerable and continued to constantly lie and manipulate her for his own selfish gains only to toss her aside once she no longer served her original purpose while continuing to lead her on and show up in her life every time she tried to move on and THAT is why it was so painful!!!

STOP NORMALIZING THE PAIN CAUSED BY ABUSE AND MANIPULATION AS THE SAME THING AS REGULAR HEARTBREAK IN NORMAL RELATIONSHIPS.

I did not have a good childhood, my parents had a horrible divorce when I was 7 and I had never seen a healthy relationship modeled IN MY LIFE - AND YET - my first serious relationship when I was 16 while it definitely had it problems like all young love does (his friends didn’t like how much time he spent with me and his mom both hated me for “taking her son away” but also loved me because she wanted a daughter so badly but only had sons - she was insane lol and we were both teenagers who made stupid teenager mistakes) he was with me for 3 1/2 years and absolutely would have married me if that was what I had wanted.

He would sneak out to see me when I was sad despite his strict parents, always bought me lunch because I would eat what I was sent to school with by 10 AM because I was STARVING because I had an almond mom who never fed either of us enough. Would happily listen to me rant about the twilight books as I read them during that whole phase, WROTE ME A SONG for my birthday (he was actually a talented musician and works as a sound engineer and music producer now) and basically just spent every second he could either with me or talking to me when we were apart. He loved taking me on dates and writing me love notes and we just laughed all the time. He was my best friend as well as my boyfriend and ending that relationship because I had outgrown him was SO PAINFUL because he loved me so much and even during the break up - which I handled HORRIBLY - he was kind and even gave me the birthday present he had bought me because he wanted me to have it even though it was still months away. (I say all of this to try and just show first loves CAN be more than just pain and devastation and if it isn’t making you happy a minimum 80% of the time and you instead just feel sad and confused THAT IS NOT NORMAL AND YOU DESERVE BETTER 🩷)

I know good experiences are not the case for everyone when it comes to first relationships and that’s awful and is not fair because young love SHOULD be innocent and naive. Just two idiots in love who have no clue what they’re doing but just happy to be around each other no matter what they’re doing (like what willow got to experience with Oz in high school) and Angel robbed Buffy of those experiences. He broke her trust of other people and in love and her trust in HERSELF - that’s not her “first love” that’s her first abusive relationship and calling it “her first love” or worse “her soulmate” only serves the patriarchy and harms little girls everywhere who grow up not knowing to look for or expect better because everyone around them and society is telling them “your first experiences with love and sex will be awful and painful and there’s no escaping it” when that is just NOT TRUE at all, especially if you date someone age appropriate in high school. Angel is the first older “man” she dated and like all older men with high school girls do, he took advantage of that imbalance in power in literally every way possible and I will despise that whiney little bitch until the end of time for that and wish he would have just stayed trapped in that hell dimension until the end of time as it is what he deserves.

“True love” doesn’t require severe pain and tears for it to be deep or meaningful. Don’t believe the lies terrible men like jw and so many others feed us.

[rfswitchart]

A Lesson From Owl House That Gets Overlooked

So, I don't know if you know this, but I used to have a tendency of bottling things up. I was scared of people being angry and upset with me, so I pushed everything way down and tried to not let things get to me. And the things I've been through are horrific at the kindest appraisal. I think you know why I'm bringing this up... So let's not waste time and just talk about the two most self-conscious characters in the series; Luz and Willow.

I don't know if you noticed this through the series, but Luz internalizes EVERYTHING. Even before Hollow Mind and the whole "I accidentally helped a genocidal maniac carry out his wicked plan" thing, Luz was quietly baring the burden of grief and trauma. We don't know the full scope of the bullying she endured, it was probably hellish and certainly isolated her. Not only that, but she was carrying the pain of losing her father, which she also internalized.

Because of this, along with the bullying and the lack of support from adults in her life (save for Camila,) Luz doesn't really have a great support system until she meets Eda and King. And even then, it took Willow, Gus, and especially Amity for her to really open up about things.

Meanwhile, Willow was browbeaten by virtually everyone in her life. Amity, Boscha, teachers, everyone looked down on her, calling her 'Half-a-Witch,' forced into learning Abomination magic by her dads instead of the Plant magic she excels at. And of course, instead of that pain manifesting as grief and misery, Willow's internalization of her emotions turns to anger, frustration, and self-loathing as we see the first time we meet her.

Of course, she befriends Gus and Luz and things start to get better, but they depend on her strength and wisdom too much, which allows her to mask her feelings in favor of helping and supporting her friends. We see that it doesn't help that much, especially after Amity once again hurts her by accidentally burning all of her memories.

Granted, things worked out between them, but Amity (subconsciously, as she was genuinely concerned and cared about Willow) was looking down on her much later. And yes, Willow gets to be in the Plant track and becomes the Flier Derby captain of her dreams. However she's still hard on herself, still keeping herself from letting things out... Oh, did you guys not notice that in For the Future? Because Boscha was egging her on and antagonizing her in a moment of weakness, Willow was going to probably hurt or even kill her bully out of sheer anger.

Yeah, if that scene played out any further and she wasn't rendered unconscious by sleeping nettles, Willow was going to do something incredibly bad. I think Elijah (not-so-average-fangirl) saw that too, which is why she said "Willow, are you ok?" during that scene. I know from personal experience that Willow was at her absolute breaking point and when you realize that, it's terrifying. She was going to let out her anger violently on someone who deserved it, but not to the extent that she was clearly going to go with it. It's also why Willow does indeed breakdown after that. She can no longer control her emotions, especially after seeing her dad puppeted and the guy she clearly had feelings for die in her arms...

Of course, we know how both Luz's breakdown in Reaching Out and Willow's breakdown in For the Future resolve. They both talk about it or let out their emotions, and they do so in front of the people that matter the most to them.

For Luz, she tells Amity about her dad. She cries over it in front of her and they resolve their first real fight since going out. Then, they both make flowers and cast them off over the Boiling Sea, continuing the tradition of Luz and her mom without being in the Human Realm. Amity's also the one that tries to comfort Luz the most after learning about Belos, because even if our hero isn't feeling great about what happened, she still someone who truly loves and supports her.

For Willow, it was a need for someone who doesn't rely on her telling her that it was ok to let it out. Someone who could stop her and beg her to never call herself 'Half-a-Witch' again. Someone who truly understood all the pain she was going through and was willing to both support her and let her vent. Now who could that be...?

Of course, Gus did obviously help in that scene, but Willow needed to hear it from Hunter. She needed someone who has only ever seen her as strong who didn't depend on her for support to just say 'you've been holding in a lot, haven't you?' Granted, I won't say you need romantic love to let your feelings and pain out to, but I am saying that a strong enough and supportive enough person can help with that. That's why Gus being there in the Willow breakdown was important. That's why all of Luz's friends telling her that helping Belos wasn't her fault was important. The most important thing about bottling emotions is to have someone there to talk to, be it friend, family, lover, or therapist.

[wastingoxygensince1983]

The other day I made a post about Thai sapphic industry and I totally forgot to mentioned something in that post that I want to add.

So bare with me for a little bit:

This is something that has really affected my enjoyment of fandoms in general, because even if is not AT ALL a fault of fandoms; the token that comes from these really affects how much I can get invest in the stories and fandoms of new sapphic shows.

You see, since creators, producers, etc; has decided to not care enough of TV shows/movies or any project with w/w storylines the pressure of the media to survive(not even to become a popular thing; is just not get cancelled) in their fandoms.

That makes a very big heavy weight in the fandoms and the people in the community around it.

Because the survival of a show depends of how much interest people has on it; and not if the show is good and the creators of these shows are really invested in creating them.

So supporting these projects becomes a task and something that is basically a duty.

We lost things of enjoying things because we want to, or even so; things as simple like personal interests or taste.

Is to the point to support what the community wants in these fandoms sometimes we even had to put these shows in the back, without even watching it because we want to give the count of viewership.

Listen to me; these is not normal neither is something that we should be wanting.

Is not ok that if we don't want to watch something because we don't want to there's a possibility that people want to watch it is gonna lose it.

For better examples, and sorry to mention big very good shows that deserved better: Nobody had to watch first kill, willow, or warrior nun if they don't want to.

My constant critique about the lack of support to Thai shows in general in tumblr doesn't comes from this sentiment; it comes more from my understanding of how difficult is for Usamerican to enjoy something that is not made by them so is a way to tell them that there's something good that is coming from Thailand.

Because, right now; I don't have any of this feeling with any of those thai shows.

I haven't watch blank the series; and the show has being very successful to the point to get a second season(Also Faye and Yoko are gonna get a new show soon).

A few days ago there was a poll about Gap and the poll showed that the majority of the people here doesn't even now what it is. But the show became huge popular, giving the pair a new show and a movie and basically kicking the industry,

The show from Engfa and Charlotte didn't do as good as others, but still they keep going and they had a new show and very possible new projects.

I am pretty sure Milklove is gonna have a new show soon.

I am almost sure I was the only person that watched lucky my love but the pair also got a new show after that.

And the thing is, there's not only pre existence shows and pairs but there's more and more stories and shows coming; to the point that nobody knows when they are coming.

That feeling of dread of not supporting something and the possibility of losing them is not there anymore.

And is something extremely good.

[wandabear]

EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY [CH 5] - WANDA MAXIMOFF X F!READER

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Summary:   Y/N proposes to Wanda and she says… no. That’s when things get complicated, too much.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x f!reader | Natasha Romanoff x oc ㅤㅤㅤ   

CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO  CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX - finale

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Warning:  Somewhat graphic MCU violence, death, ANGST and FLUFF. Mentions about abuse. As you know me: Jules is portrayed by Adelaide Kane. This mcu style is my own, Natasha Romanoff will not die here. She deserves to be happy.

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Songs for you: Ivy Willow

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCHAPTER FIVE

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“Thank you, auntie Y/N.” Morgan Stark said with the most adorable smile as she walked hand in hand with y/n.

Y/N took care of the kid that day and together they toured the Compound while Tony finished signing some papers and chatted with Steve, trying to keep things at peace.

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After eating together one of the most delicious cheeseburgers and fries -Morgan's favorites-, she walked with her to the entrance where Tony and Steve were waiting for them.

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“Aw. You're welcome, sweetie.” The inhuman smiled and leaned in to receive little Morgan's hug. “Thank you for keeping me company today. I couldn't have done it without you.”

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“I love you, auntie Y/N. See you later!” Morgan smiled and ran over to her dad, who helped the kid get into the car and fasten the seatbelt. Steve stepped forward to go inside the compound, it was going to rain soon.

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Y/N smiled at Tony. “That girl is getting bigger and smarter, Tony. She's soon going to take our jobs.”

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“What can I say? I was part of the creation of this masterpiece.” Stark joked and both laughed.

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Here they were, years later, Tony became one of the few people left in her life. All the grudges of the past had been left behind.

Y/N kept hands in the pockets of her coat, watching the trees moving slowly.  This time it wasn't Y/N who summoned the storm.

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“You okay?” Tony took off his glasses, he seemed quite worried.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Yeah.”  Y/N sighed and shrugged. “Just tired, there are too many problems on this planet and universe to deal with.”

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“Well, that is now YOUR problem, but… You should eat better, kid, I see you a little pale.” Tony patted her shoulder and smiled, but still looked a bit worried.  “I'll tell Pepper and she's going to scold you. She will send you a cook to follow you everywhere, reminding you to eat.”

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Y/N giggled tiredly and nodded slowly. “Take care, Tony. Take care of them, you deserve it.”

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“If you need something…” He tried.

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“I'll work it out with Steve, Yelena or Bruce. You rest.”

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All these years Y/N had been practicing her powers with Jules, Bruce also helped her to understand herself a bit more. Over time she learned to control it almost perfectly.

Y/N possessed the ability of atmokinesis, one of the most powerful abilities in existence, where one can control and manipulate the various forms and aspects of the weather itself.

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Thor used to say that he was happy with the news, now he could share something so beautiful with a warrior like her. Summoning the most powerful lightning they have ever seen.

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Jules possessed the ability of nature manipulation, another of the most important powers. Although she mostly had developed much more control over plants and some living beings. According to her, they used to whisper to her. Y/N smiled when she remembered that moment, in that same place a few years ago. She used to tease Jules saying she was crazy, because the brunette once said that a sparrow insulted her.

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“Y/N… I swear, that bird called me a ‘shameless slut’ and he then flew away!” 

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“Yeah, sure, I will definitely never believe that.”

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Together, they were invincible. They could make total chaos as well as something very beautiful for this planet. Y/N's idea was to protect this world that was left, while Jules... well, remained a prisoner of her suffering.

Y/N went back into the Compound, stopping to look at that mural in front of her, mural recognizing those who had fallen.

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NATASHA ROMANOFF WANDA MAXIMOFF JAMES BUCHANAN ‘BUCKY’ BARNES CLINT BARTONSAMUEL WILSON

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Y/N stood still looking at the names, thinking about everything that happened all this time. She covered her face with her hands, the stress that Y/N felt lately was overwhelming.

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“So, Stark stopped by to say hi?”  Yelena walked over, this time she wasn't wearing her Black Widow outfit. She always knew how to dress in style, maybe she was coming back from visiting Kate who lived in New York now.

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“He came to tell us that Avengers Tower was going to be sold.” Y/N smiled sadly. “And that if we needed something, we could always count on him. He’s going to retire to take care of Morgan and Pepper.”

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The blonde nodded. Those names made Y/N shed a tear that quickly dried up.

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“I miss her so much, you know?” Y/N swallowed hard and closed her eyes, trying to stay strong but it was so hard lately. Especially when the memories grew heavier in her heart. “She’s the love of my life, how come I'm still doing all this? Why am I still alive?”

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Y/N couldn't help but wept, feeling Yelena's arms surround her.

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“There are days where I don't know how to go on without Wanda.” The agent sobbed in anguish, she always tried to be positive and strong but she no longer knew how to keep going. Especially with some of the remaining Avengers spread across the world. “I- I just… I make myself some tea and I just start crying, and I cry until the tea gets cold, a-and then I have to make another one.”

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Yelena pursed her lips trying not to cry, but tears welled up in those green eyes. Both tried to be strong for each other.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ "Sometimes… I repeat to myself over and over again: what was the scent... what did her hair smell like? Because I remember it was raspberries but what if I forget? What if... I can't remember anymore?" Y/N smiled sadly. “I feel like I'm missing three pieces of my heart, and the only one that holds everything is you.”

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“I know, Y/N/N. I miss Natasha too.” The russian cooed, hugging her tightly. “It hurts me so much… Sometimes I talk to her, whistle to her... but she doesn't answer. I’ve loved her so much.”

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Now she was the one who broke down crying.

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“I’m sorry.” Y/N looked down to see how Yelena hid her face in that hug, and just kissed her forehead, both consoling each other in a big hug at that moment.

Yelena wasn’t the kind of person who shows her feelings easily. No. Fuck, she used to just growl and roll her eyes at her but all this time... all this pain, she could only show it with Y/N.

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“Do you think they're okay? Wherever they are.” Yelena sniffled.

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“I dunno, blondie.” Y/N sighed. “But I hope so.”

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That beautiful moment lasted for a while until Steve quickly led, with a rather worried and confused face.

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“Y/N, Yelena… You two need to see who's at the compound gate now.”

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And when they heard the whole story that Scott Lang had to tell them, they were even more confused and perhaps… deep down, hopeful.

The noise of breaking glass and shots was all that could be heard, besides desperate screams of the members of that gang.

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“It’s her! She’s after Javier!” One of the gang members yelled in Spanish and fired his machine gun into a dark corner of the street. A few seconds later, that same man was thrown into the air and hit the wall with such force that he died on impact.

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The female figure of a black-haired woman stepped out of the darkness, a proud smile and brown eyes filled with a desire for revenge.

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“Todos van a morir, pero ahora solo quiero a Javier. Entréguenmelo y podrán irse. [You all going to die, but right now I only want Javier. Give it to me, and you can go.]” The brunette ordered willing to let go, for now. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

None seemed to obey, in fact some of them laughed and looked at each other.

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“Good, your choice.”

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That woman raised her hands and killed several of those criminals, using vines to catch them, she took one and attracted one using him as a shield.

Jules smiled coquettishly then blew some spores into the man's face, like a poisonous kiss. The man's horrified look changed to a more relaxed one, the irises of his eyes turning green. “You want to protect me, and now… You’re going to kill all of your friends, then yourself.”

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Exactly as she said, the man fired at his own people and then shot himself. Jules sighed and walked to the second floor of that building, where another group of thugs fired at her. One by one, she took it upon herself to clear the path.

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“What do you want?! I didn’t do anything to you!” The leader of the gang asked, walking backwards. There was nothing left but to give up.

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“You’ve survived.” Jules said as she slowly walked towards him. “Half of the planet didn’t.”

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Even though it was her, that was no longer the same Julia from before. Those five years changed a lot in her mind and her heart.

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“They got Thanos… you get me.” Jules cocked her head, biting her lower lip playfully.

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Javier knelt down ready to beg for his life, even if his pride said otherwise.  “I'll give you what you want, but please, don't kill me.”

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“What I want? You can't give it to me.” Jules whispered venomously. Step by step, it was a death sentence. The vines and the ivy were moved like snakes, searching for their prey.

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“Por favor, güerita no me mates… Please, please don't kill me.”

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She just raised her hand and one of the vines wrapped around Javier's neck, lifting him into the air. He began to move her legs, desperate.

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“Julia, stop.”

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Her best friend's voice made Jules turn to look at the door, perhaps with all the noise of shots and screams she hadn't heard the sound of the storm approaching.

Y/N slowly entered that warehouse.

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“Oh, hey sis. Long time no see.”  Jules smiled casually, but didn't let the guy get away.  “Did you finally come to join the party?”

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“I came to save you.” Y/N swallowed, noticing how the vines moved around her as if they had a life of their own, even if Jules controlled them. “Let him go.”

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“No.” her response was blunt, it even made the vine tighten his neck more. “You... tell her... tell her what you've done.”

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 “Please, don’t do this. You’re… not a killer.” Javier could barely say.

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“Oh, look around you, I already am.”

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“Jules, stop.” Y/N begged.

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“Tell my friend what you did and I'll let you live.” Jules jaw clenched, making the vines tighten around the man's neck. He found it difficult to speak, he barely gasped like a fish out of water.

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“What are you saying? I can’t hear you-” She said with an adorable smile but ended up shouting: “SPEAK LOUDER!”

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“Julia, THAT'S ENOUGH!” Y/N took a step forward but Jules raised her hand, stopping her with the vines. Jules looked at her seriously, forcing Y/N to stay still and then turned to see the man again.

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“You took that little one, didn't you? A little girl in Morelos. You did these despicable things to her.”  She hissed angrily, her gaze locked with the man's, who was struggling to breathe. “A child, and not just one...”

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The man just closed his eyes and after a moment, nodded desperately hoping that she would let him go.

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“See, Y/N? This happens when you’re soft like we used to be. When justice forgets what it really means.” Jules felt a huge pain inside her, her hands trembled but she was determined to go for it.   “No matter how much you fight to be better and let go your past, to redeem yourself…”  She thought of Natasha. “…You will die snapped and a rapist son of a bitch will be left alive on this planet.”

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Y/N nodded, trying to reason with her. “You're right, he deserves to face justice.”

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“Justice?!” Jules laughed wryly.  “There’s no justice! Especially when the jury released him because he didn't penetrate one of his victims with his penis… Oh no! He did it with his fingers and tongue, and that to them meant: letting him go!” The brunette screamed, the vines squeezed him enough for him to start turning purple.

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“Justice. That's what that girl didn't have.” Jules took a shaky breath, those brown eyes no longer showed that warmth, patience and tenderness as before.  “But I'll give it to her. To all of them.”

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Without waiting any longer, Jules moved her hand and the vines broke the nasty guy's neck, letting the lifeless body fall to the ground.

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“One less, many to go.” Jules sighed looking at that man's body and then turned around willing to leave that place ignoring her friend.  “You shouldn't be here.”

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“Neither should you.” Y/N followed her.

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“I've got a job to do, you're making it more difficult.” Jules heard the police sirens in the distance, so she decided to go back and take the back exit of that warehouse.

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“Is that what you're calling this?” Y/N walked after her, leaving through the back door of the warehouse. Jules took it upon herself to remove some of the surveillance cameras with ivy before they could capture her. “Killing all these people isn't gonna bring Natasha back.”

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Y/N tried to take her arm.

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“They are not people! They are infections corroding this Earth.”  Jules turned, breaking free of her grasp.  “The little that remains of this world at least.”

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“You are not the one to decide that.”

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“Neither are you.” Jules snapped.

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“Natasha wouldn't want this.” Sadness was reflected in Y/N's eyes, who saw her friend as a poor shadow of what she used to be.

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“She's not here to decide, is she?”

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“But she could… if you come with me.” Y/N she released the best bait that she could to catch the biggest fish in the river. Hoping that was enough to get the brunette's attention.

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And she did it. Jules turned to look at her, this time in a very different way. This time, a small light of hope was born in those brown eyes or maybe it was the anger she felt if Y/N played with it.

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“Don’t do that. Don't play with it.”

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“We found something.” Y/N sighed as she moved closer to her. “A chance, maybe.”

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“That’s impossible.” Jules narrowed her eyes, not understanding.  “You just want to trick me to go back.”

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“No! I swear… There’s a possibility. Just one. But you have to make a decision now, because the police are coming and the quinjet is three fucking blocks away.”

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Now the concern was reflected in Jules face, there was no way to achieve what she said.  “You can't bring anyone back to life, not even I can go that far. Nature wouldn’t allow it.”

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“It is not about playing with nature.”  Y/N walked in a hurry escaping from the sirens.  “It's about going back… Do you love her enough to give it a try?”

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The raven-haired woman looked thoughtful. “Are you sure of that?”

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“Pretty sure it could work.” Y/N looked at who was her friend for so long, for a moment she believed that the sparkle in those eyes had returned.  “But we need you.”

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“Don’t.” Jules said barely, like a sigh.

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“Don't what?” She stopped, making Y/N turn to look at her. The neon signs reflected their faces, like the most beautiful work of art.

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“Please, don’t give me hope.” Jules pleaded.

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And for the first time, Y/N's serious look turned into a softer one.  “I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you sooner.”

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They spent days trying to plan everything they had to do perfectly. Each of the stones they had to 'borrow' and then return. A time heist. Each of them had a plan, but that wasn't what mattered right now.

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“Tomorrow, we will be saving the ones we love the most.” Y/N took the beer and toasted against the brunette's, who was only watching through the big window.

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“Tomorrow.” Jules sighed, her heart skipped a beat at the thought. “Do you think they will understand?”

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“I think so… Yeah, I'm not going to be the one to tell Wanda that her favorite band split up two years ago.” Y/N said making her friend laugh again, missed that nice sound so much. “But fuck, I'm going to tell her that Britney won the damn lawsuit.”

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Y/N laughed and then brushed a few crumbs off her shirt, making the ring she was wearing as a pendant to bounce.

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“Still carrying that thing?” Jules smiled tenderly looking at the ring.

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Y/N looked at it got lost in memories. The ring with which she proposed to Wanda so long ago. “And I will forever.”

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She smiled at her friend, who understood perfectly. The raven-haired woman nodded slowly.

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“If I had married someone... it would definitely have been Nat. She would say ‘No, thank you!’, of course, but at least I would have tried.” Jules said with a broody smile. Natasha Romanoff left a hole in her heart, taken it away forever.

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“Wanda wanted us to get married when we got back from Wakanda.”

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“Maybe you guys can get it right this time. You know that Wanda loved you deeply, right?”

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“I know… I loved her so much, so much that part of me is no longer mine but hers.” She sighed. “And I'm going to keep this.” Y/N looked at that ring with sadness but also hope.  “Until I see her again, this is it, Jules. This is how we get them.”

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“I hope so. I don't know what I'll do otherwise.” Jules looked down, feeling the full weight of her actions.

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At that moment Yelena walked through the living room door, heading straight for Jules. Of course Yelena hadn't been there those days, she was trying to help Steve to convince Tony to help them.

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“Yelena, wait-” Y/N got up seeing the anger on the blonde's face and remembering that she hadn't had the courage to tell her that Jules was back.

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“No, let her do it.” Jules got up from her seat, clearing her throat uncomfortably. “I know you might hate me but-”

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Without further ado, Yelena hit the brunette's face making her face to turn around, Jules noticed blood dripping from her lip. And if that hadn't surprised her too much, after the punch the blonde came to hug her tightly.

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“I’m glad you’re here.” Yelena murmured staying in that embrace for a while. “We're family. I don't want to lose any more sisters... I missed the three of us.”

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And how not to do it? Ever since Y/N and Jules had their separate ways, Yelena always felt in between. With no big sister, feeling like a child with her parents divorced, she didn't know which of them to turn to.

Jules looked up at Y//N and just stroked Yelena's blonde hair slowly. They both looked at each other and nodded. They were all Yelena had left, and none of them had given her a thought.

“Tell me again, why did you bring her?” Tony asked again, narrowing his eyes at the brunette. “She could kill us in a flash.”

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Jules chuckled.  “Yeah, I'm not that fast, Stark.”

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“Isn't that what we need? We need people willing to give everything.” Y/N she sighed, running a hand over her face. It was the third time she'd answered that all damn day.

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“Steve…”

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Steve, who was there with his arms crossed, just stared at them seriously.

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“We all deserve a second chance. We can all regret what we have done, and then do better.” Steve nodded solemnly. If Jules was going to bring something good to that mission and she was going to keep someone from dying, then she was welcome.

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Jules arched an amused brow. “Yeah, I'm not sorry for what I did... I’m just here to help, that’s it.”

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“Shut up, Julia. You're not helping.” Y/N growled.

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Between twists and turns, everyone managed to resolve their differences before keep going with the plan. Each of them had to follow the 'time heist' plan and bring the gems.

And they all made it, making it back alive for the big test. Of course, Y/N kept saying how great it was to see the first S.H.I.E.L.D. base in 1970. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Now, Bruce was ready to snap and change everything. Around him were all of the avengers, who watched him as if in his hands kept the most precious treasure in the Universe. And it was. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Are you sure, Bruce?” Steve asked one more time. “I can do it too.”

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“No, I was made for this.” Bruce sighed deeply and after taking courage, he settled the gauntlet on his arm.

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Slowly, the power of the gauntlet was consuming him, making him scream in pain. They all walked away in surprise, but they couldn't interfere even if they wanted to.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Bruce, remember, everyone Thanos snapped away five years ago...” Y/N explained carefully, watching the gauntlet light up when the big guy put it on. “You're just bringing them back to now, today. Don't change anything from the last five years.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Please.” Tony added.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Got it.” Bruce growled.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

One.

Two.

Three.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Snap.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Bruce knelt in pain and the way the power of the gauntlet burned his arm made everyone shocked.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Did it work, Bruce Banner?” Yelena asked curiously.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone looked at each other for a moment, their phones started ringing instantly and that brought a smile to everyone. Y/N took her phone and watched that something that she hadn’t seen for a long time, now was shown on the screen.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

'INCOMING CALL WANDA MAXIMOFF ...'

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N smiled widely and answered the call.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wands?” ㅤㅤㅤㅤ But the call ended.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

And they wish they had time to celebrate or answer; one of Thanos' ships stood behind the Compound. And the first thing he did was bombard the quinjets, taking away their chance to use them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone managed to stay safe, while the team tried to fight Thanos hand to hand, others tried to take the gauntlet and escape with it so that the titan wouldn’t have it again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The powerful triad of the Avengers faced him, Thor, Tony and Steve. But he also faced Y/N, Jules, and the Hulk in an epic battle. They didn’t expect that attack, much less in such a treacherous way.

And although they thought that everything would end in the worst way, not just one but several portals opened on that battlefield.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ Each of their friends passed through the portal, returning to their side, ready to once again face that enemy, together.

Y/N sighed and tried not to cry when she saw how Wanda ran towards her and melted into the strongest and most needed hug of their lives. Closed her eyes and let herself be carried away by her scent, giggling happily at the scent of Wanda’s hair.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Oh, raspberries.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

A small tear escaped from her eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Strange told us.” Wanda cupped Y/N's face in her hands. She looked so… same and different. Y/N's face looked different, not much but small details that she noticed. “Five years, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah.” Y/N closed her eyes, getting lost in the feeling for a moment.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Five years, wow…h-how are you? Are you okay?” Wanda asked really worried.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Can we talk about that later?” Natasha arched an eyebrow, nodding as Thanos's army regrouped on the horizon.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N breathed deeply watching that terrifying landscape, but despite the fear, Wanda's hand taking hers made her smile. Of course they could against this. They had survived the worst, they could against everything.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

And both armies finally met. Y/N rose into the air and used her powers, making a hurricane to get rid of some enemies. This time there was no doubt using those powers, it was a perfect execution.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You are…” Wanda exclaimed in surprise. They both made an incredible team up now.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Total control, huh!” Y/N smirked and then rose up.  “You should see this!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Her eyes turned white for a moment, and the sky roared like never before. Several lightning bolts fell towards her and towards her enemies. Without stopping, they both fought to protect Peter Parker who stole the gauntlet, getting it as far away from Thanos as possible. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I already saw the boy, he's coming your way, Strange!” Natasha said through her earpiece and fired at one of the aliens, killing him.  But someone worse stood a few meters in front of her, showing that big spear.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Not this bitch again.” Natasha complained, seeing how Proxima smiled creepily.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The black widow prepared herself for the attack, she was ready to face her when some huge vines opened up the earth and took Proxima, getting rid of her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” Jules smiled at her and stoodnext to her, surprising the redhead. Then raised her hand, making some thorny vines to grab many aliens and completely destroy them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You-” Nat opened her mouth but didn't know what to say, just smiled back.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Pretty badass, don't you think?” Jules nodded watching as the earth swallowed them.  “They will be a good fertilizer for the soil.”

ㅤㅤㅤ “That wasn't fair, I was about to finish her off.” Natasha teased, smirking.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Sucks to be you... But by the way: You’re my whole world, Romanoff. I want you to know that.” Without further ado, the brunette approached to kiss Natasha's lips, just a peck. “’kay, gotta go. Don’t die this time!”  

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The redhead just smiled and shook her head, running in the opposite direction.

And despite the losses that are always to be expected in a war, they did it well. Except for Carol, who was still recovering after she'd snapped. She was powerful, sure, but that was a very potent amount of energy.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ The corridors of the Avengers Compound were full of people coming and going. The medical room was being occupied by everyone who was badly injured, Dr. Cho was crowded but thanked the civilian medical staff who offered to help them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N kept her arms crossed, watching and making sure everyone was okay. Her tired eyes showed how she felt, beside being in pain. Several cuts and bruises in her face and body showed it.

She turned on her heels to leave for a moment, nodding to Steve who was chatting with Tony, Maria Hill and Nick Fury about everything that had happened.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Now everyone was back and despite the fact that it was a great joy, the world was once again in chaos.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Agent Y/L/N.” Nick turned around so she could shake hands with her.  “Here they have told me the great job you have done trying to keep us standing.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, sir. I only did what I have been taught in S.H.I.E.L.D.” Y/N smiled and nodded kindly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I taught you well then.” Maria Hill said under her breath and they both laughed. Y/N patted the Maria's shoulder and kept walking, looking for that special someone.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She searched the living area, the lounge, and the medical wing but couldn't find Wanda anywhere.

Not until she saw how a brown haired lady escaping from her, walking quickly towards the main entrance hall.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wanda.” Y/N called out to her loud enough to make her stop.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda turned around slowly, she looked like she had been crying, because her eyes were a bit puffy and red. She looked quite nervous, looking towards the door as if she wanted to get out.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Why are you avoiding me?” That sounded sadder than she expected. You could tell the pain in Y/N's voice, and the obvious confusion.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“No, why do you say that?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m not stupid.” Y/N chuckled sadly.  “I haven't seen you since we were separated in the Med wing. I've been looking for you for a long time.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah… I needed some air.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N approached her, both watched the outskirts of the compound with longing. “Are you okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Five years, right?” Wanda swallowed, unable to look at her. Couldn't or she would break. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sighed. “Yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I think… I think I'm not ready for this.” The brunette looked down, playing with her rings.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N cocked her head to see her. “Ready for what?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“To do this, Y/N.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wow, no ‘detka’ this time.” Y/N gave a sad and ironic giggle. She didn't understand what the hell was happening now. “I don't understand.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N, it's been five years.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, five fucking years go by and the first thing you do is walk away and ignore me.” Y/N she said a bit annoyed and hurt. “Would you please tell me why?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Because I'm not ready to know how you moved on!” Wanda finally snapped. “I'm not ready to…” Wanda cleared her throat, trying to be strong and not cry but it was so hard. “I'm not ready to see how you've moved on from me or met someone else.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned and thought about stopping her, but she had every right to express her feelings. She wanted to know how Wanda felt.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“While for you it was five years, for me it was just... minutes.” The sokovian began pacing back and forth, finally letting go of everything she kept inside. “And I come back and I see you... so different and at the same time the same. Don't get me wrong, you look as beautiful as ever but I feel like... I've missed so much.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

"You have… you have a scar there, on your eyebrow, and I- I don't know how you got it! And and I feel so… I left you." Wanda began to cry, and although Y/N wanted to hug her, she only reached out her hand to take Wanda's and gently pull her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“How do you think it feels to know that? I've abandoned you for years. God!”  Wanda approached to surround her in a hug, hiding her face in Y/N's chest.  “The things you've experienced and I wasn't there. You were alone.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn’t alone.” It was the first thing Y/N said as she stroked her back.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“That's why... Maybe you've met someone.” Wanda looked up and tried to get away from her. “I'm not ready to know that you don't love me anymore.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't alone, I had my friends.” Y / N smiled tenderly and gently caressed Wanda's cheek. “Wanda... I haven't stopped thinking about you, I never stopped doing it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She took her beloved's chin to look into those green eyes. A heart that found its other side again, finally, their souls were entwined once more.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you. I have loved you these five years... where I didn’t stop thinking about you, loving you, needing you.” Y/N she whimpered and wiped away the tears that began to fall. “I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. You don't know how horrible it was to live without you, you don't know how difficult it is. Cause it wasn't 'living'. You have no idea how gray the world is without you.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Tears began to escape from Wanda's eyes and she didn't stop them. They both needed this, they needed to heal.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Please, don't walk away.” Y/N begged, feeling Wanda cradle her face in her hands. “I only know that I survived because I had to, because I couldn't leave them alone... because I don't want to be without you anymore. I just can’t. I can’t do it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The sokovian hugged her tightly, allowing them both to release into a healing cry. Feeling the warmth of the other's body, all the pain could finally be left behind.

All those sad dates, all those lonely birthdays, all those cold nights.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you, Wanda.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you so much, detka. I'm so sorry...” She put her forehead against Y/N's, getting lost in that beautiful feeling. “We won't be apart again. Promise we won't.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Nothing will separate us again, my love.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules lowered her gaze and hurried her step in that hallway, trying to get out of that place as soon as possible. Her heart was heavy but she had to do the right thing.

At least this time.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She was about to walk out of the Compound when a figure crossed in front of her, so fast. There was no doubt that this woman was one of the best spies in the world.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Aw! Not even a hug? I see you're not a fan of goodbyes.” Natasha watched her out of the corner of her eye, crossing her arms.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules swallowed, this was what she least wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone is there with their loved ones but you… you’re running away without even saying goodbye to me.” Natasha stood idly by, quite hurt.  Although the first thing she did was make sure Yelena was safe, Natasha had not forgotten Jules. “Running away like a quiet and scared mouse.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m not a scared mouse.” Jules narrowed her eyes. Those words made Natasha raise an eyebrow, Jules would never have spoken like that.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I don't even deserve that? I understand that five years have passed for you, you must… you must have formed another more important bond or whatever…. Or maybe you just stopped loving me, but I am not even worthy of a goodbye?” The redhead scoffed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Nat-” Jules tried.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I would like an explanation, because the last thing I remember is that we were... in love.” She wasn't going to deny that it hurt her deeply. “I understand. I wasn't very direct with that, I admit it... besides that a lot of time has passed and we didn't get to make it official, but that didn't mean I didn’t loved you! I did! I DO!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Nat…” Jules came over, trying to calm me down. She just cradled Nat's face in those soft hands. “It's not that.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules sighed deeply, she didn't have time to explain.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you, more than my own life.” The raven-haired girl placed her forehead against hers.  “I would give everything for you, I gave everything for you to be here.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Then tell me what's going on...” Natasha pleaded in a whisper, those beautiful eyes sparkling. This was one of the few times that she could see Nat being herself, opening her heart.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules leaned in and kissed her lips, losing herself in them. Didn’t care more than to relive that feeling, that warmth. Nat was alive, she was next to her. As soon as they parted from the kiss, the inhuman hugged Natasha tightly.

Her biggest fear was losing her again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I just didn't want you to see it…” Jules swallowed. “I didn't want them to do it in front of you.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha looked at her with confusion and concern. “Do what? Who?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I did some really fucked up things this time where you weren't, Nat... I- I don't expect you to understand me, I just... maybe one day I can explain. They will tell you many things about me, most of them are true... others not so much. And I’m sorry.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

At that time, General Ross entered with a group of US marshalls and surrounded them. Of course they left Natasha aside, they only came to handcuff Jules who didn't object. Her gaze stayed on Nat's. Sure they had technology strong enough to weaken her, but Jules wasn't going to run away. Not this time.

In fact, it was obvious that she knew perfectly well that this would happen, because Jules never resisted or tried to escape.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Ross, what are you doing?” Natasha asked but one of the Marshalls pushed her back.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“My job, Ms. Romanoff. Just my job.” Ross nodded and they walked carrying Jules, although the arrival of the others Avengers made them stop.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s going on here?” Steve frowned. “Ross, we can't go through this now.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

At that moment Y/N arrived, pushing whoever had to to face Ross.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You can't do that, she's an avenger.” Y/N tried to intercede adn take her friend, but was stopped by the Marshalls. “Take your hands off me.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Julia Hale, you're under arrest for mass murder in several countries including the United States of America, eco-terrorism, mass property damage, conspiracy, torture, assault, kidnapping… You have the right… to not much at all after that, to be fair.” He sneered. “Do you have anything to say in your defense?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules glanced sideways at Ross, who seemed quite pleased.  “They were bad people.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Ross… She saved half of the universe with us.” Tony stepped forward, ready to intercede too. “There's still fresh blood on her face, look at her! She just saved the world with all of us! Let her go… for now.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I know, Stark, but it's not up to me. It will depend on U.S. Goverment.”  General Ross started walking towards the entrance, where the SUV's were ready to go.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay, I knew this would happen. We made a deal.” Jules looked back, seeing Y/N but was pushed forward.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned.  “A deal?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“They let me help you if I agreed to go with them, for good.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Where are you going to take her?” Wanda asked, feeling the same indignation as her beloved. She hated seeing her like that.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“The Raft, until it's time for her to have a fair trial at the Capitol.” Ross nodded and the Marshalls loaded Jules into the SUV.  “It's not up to me to give her a pardon, it's up to them.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don't worry, I have a cousin who is a very good lawyer!” The huge Bruce smiled and held up his phone, which made her smile.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone was quite upset and outraged, Tony was talking to Pepper to find a good 'lawyer' to help them with this, besides calling the necessary contacts he had at the Capitol. Wanda took Y/N's hand, who stood watching her friend being taken away and couldn't do anything.

Even if she wanted to, she couldn't make it worse.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

But the one who seemed most devastated was Natasha, who watched everything without knowing what to say. She had no idea what was happening, the redhead just went to the car’s door to see her one last time.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” Jules moved her lips, watching Natasha, before the truck moved away from the place. Leaving the redhead more confused than ever.

“So…” Wanda murmured entering the room, looking around. Everything felt so new. Y/N invited Wanda to sleep with her in her room.  “It was hell.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah.” Y/N sighed as she slowly removed her suit, the wounds making her hiss. “The first year we were together, Yelena kept us here. We couldn't leave her alone, we had all lost something.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The sokovian sat on the bed, watching as Y/N changed. Her gaze fell on the new scars on Y/N’s body, thinking about everything Y/N went through, without her. She couldn't protect her. Maybe if she was there, those wounds wouldn't have happened.

After taking a nice shower, they both lay down on the bed so they could snuggle together.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I started going to some meetings, you know which ones. About loss.” Y/N took some of her big shirts and handed one to her girlfriend, putting one on as well.  “It didn't help me much but it kept me standing, enough to keep me going for a while longer.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda hugged the side of her body, caressing her belly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“But not Jules. She said that wasn't helping her, then she started to feel… angry.” Y/N was somewhat thoughtful.  “As she learned more about her powers, Jules began to feel everything even more. She has a great connection with nature and that… that made her take a different path.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned and swallowed.  “I tried to make her stay with us but we couldn't. She didn't want to be here, brought back too many memories... About Nat and that, and we couldn't force her.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We lost contact for a few months until... we started receiving some weird cases. They were all bad people, that person was targeting criminals, murderers, cartel people, hunters.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so sorry, detka. Really.” Wanda whispered.  She felt so helpless and angry. Thanos took everything from her. “I'm so sorry about that. I'm sorry I left you alone.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay now.” She smiled at Wanda, leaving a small kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes feeling that perfume once more. Yes, everything was back to normal.  “I’m so happy you’re here, that's all that matters now.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do you want to sleep?” Wanda asked as she gently caressed her beloved's face, removing some strands of hair.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm exhausted, I would sleep for weeks, but I don't want to stop looking at you.” Y/N muttered, her voice slightly scratchy. Her body ached too much, feeling a stabbing pain in muscles that she didn't even know existed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda smiled tenderly, kissing her chin.  “I promise to be here in the morning.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Pinky promise?” She brought her pinky so they could intertwine.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Pinky promise, detka.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They both laughed and snuggled again when Y/N turned off the lights on the nightstand. They were silent for a moment, sharing only the beat of their hearts, until Wanda spoke:

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ “How did you get this one?” The Sokovian traced her fingers over one of the scars on Y/N's stomach, slowly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I stumbled across a turtle.” Y/N bit her lip trying not to laugh, but Wanda just laughed and patted her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, you dork. Tell me.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I was bitten by a beaver.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N!” Wanda complained and Y/N burst out laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wanda?” Y/N bit her lower lip.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Mhm?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Taylor Swift released two albums in a single year… and they are very cottage core.” Y/N couldn't help but say it, knowing that it was one of her beloved's favorites.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh God. How good is to be back!” Wanda chuckled amusedly, leaning in to look at her.  “Which is your favorite?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N bit her lower lip, forgetting her tiredness for a moment and took one of her headphones from the nightstand, she kept one and gave one to Wanda.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Friday? Please, could you play 'Willow'?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

‘Of course, Ms. Y/L/N.’

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

 “This one is for you.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

'Willow' started to play, making them both smile as they listened to the song.

Tears fell down Wanda's cheeks upon hearing such beautiful words, tears that Y/N tenderly wiped away.

They spent some time looking into each other's eyes, listening some songs and exchanging smiles until sleep came over them.

✨✨ Yeah, I was thinking about the finale... until @imnotasuperhero wanted a bit more. ✨✨ Don't hate me, hate her, poking the bear is never the answer. I'll bite.🐻 (kidding, i don't bite... yet.) here goes some amazing and lovely people tags   ✨  : @wandsmxmff​,  lonewalker17,  tsmeanobody,  dark-hunter16,  lattayhottay16,  natashaswifeu,  silverockmusic,  kacka84,  emeraldevan! @sunsol-22 @dparker0 @imnotasuperhero @pawiie

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

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[anarchyatthesupermarket]

I want to yell about fic and chapter titling stuff for my necromancy au so like link to series and then spoilers under that

I don't know how much of this will make sense. It's last so my brain isn't working at %100 and I'm autistic so my brain also works in weird ways. I'm bad at articulating my thoughts like this so it all sounded so much better in my head but I had to try. I may add onto this as I get more thoughts about it.

first off, the title of the series itself: "Wait for me, I'm coming, wait, I'm coming with you". Hadestown is based on the greek tragedy of Orpheus and Eurydice (my favorite myth). In both the myth and my fic it's a story about a character trying to get someone they love back thought for my necromancy au it's familial love. I also named this series when I didn't know if it was going to end well or not for Rae (I still don't know but shush, we're not going to talk about that).

The first fic: "I'd be the choiceless hope in grief that drove him unground" from Talk by Hozier references Orpheus and Eurydice. I don't have as much to say about this fic bc I wasn't putting as much thought into the chapter names when I wrote them. "Is this a bunker or a shallow grave" (Hollow Moon, The Crane Wives) references the fact that Rae was just pulled from a grave and how whenever he gets anxious those feelings bring up images of dirt/drowning/death. "Can we skip past the death-death cliches" (Touch, Sleeping at Last) is because that's the chapter where Centross dies but is also brought back to death, he gets to "skip" death.

Second fic: "Though I knew my heart would break" (Francesca, Hozier) is abour Everett and Raemond's death and Francesca by Hozier is about two lovers from Dante's Inferno who die together and then spend the rest of eternity together much like how Everett and Raemond are buried together in the same grave. It's a love song about not regretting the choices that brought them to the end/hell because she (Francesca) would do it all again if she ended up with her lover.

Third fic: "All I want is to flip a switch before something breaks that cannot be fixed" (Touch, Sleeping At Last). Again, partially bc this is a telling of what happened around Centross' death but from Fenris/Centross' pov so it felt right to use the same song. Also again, bringing Centross back to life is fixing something that broke.

Fourth fic: "What will you leave behind? Oh we all still die" (Willow Tree March, The Paper Kites) is about Rae trying to figure out his spot in Lodestar Grove in the aftermath of Centross's death. In this fic he talks to Centross and Momboo and his relationship with both of them has changed a lot, he's gotten closer to Centross while any hope of a friendship with Momboo has been left behind with Centross' death.

5th fic: "How long have you been harboring that venom" (My mind now, Paris Paloma) is referring to the venom/hatred Rae has developed for his magic. There's a line in the song ("was it a first offense?") which I feel like fits really well also to what's going on in Rae's mind at this time with what's happening with Momboo (she hates him so much for one thing that he did) and with himself (beating himself up over loosing control once in the library) while also trying to figure out if he (Rae) did something earlier to deserve being treated like he is.

6th fic: "All my love and terror balanced there between those eyes" (Abstract psychopomp, Hozer). Listen, I just love this song. I don't have a lot to say about Caspian's chapter ("the feeling came late, I'm still glad I met you") by itself but Aax's ("the memory hurts but does me no harm") makes me think about how in FableSMP Aax and Rae knew each other as children even though that isn't canon to this au and Fenris' ("the moment I knew I'd no choice but to love you") feels like Rae's finally accepting that he loves his boyfriends and he's happy and he took so long to figure it out ("the feeling came late") and he wants to treasure the time he has with them even though he's going to bring his family back which Rae is convinced will make Cas/Aax/Fenris/everyone hate him but he doesn't want to throw the present away because of the future ("I'm still glad I met you" even though it's going to end badly like a certain greek myth).

7th fic: "My mind has not been silent" (my mind now, Paris Paloma) is Rae telling Jamie about what happened with Momboo that's been unable to ever fully stop thinking about her words. It's also from the same song as fic #5 with mirror (ish) plot lines of someone close to Momboo finding Rae and talking to him as he's struggling with seeing himself as a monster though Rae tells Jamie what happened between him and Momboo but doesn't tell Fenris.

the 8th fic is just a bunch of short stories but I think the title "we're nothing but myths now" (Yeti, Paris Paloma) fics because it's going to be filled with one-shots of stuff that happened away from what's happening directly around Rae and often talking about stuff that happened before Fenris dug Rae up

#9: "Nothing lasts forever, some things aren't meant to be" (Hello My Old Heart, The Oh Hellos), even if Rae isn't constantly thinking about it in this fic there's this acceptance that he's going to bring back his family and the life he built with his friend's can't last. The mentions of rigor mortis, livor mortis, and adipocere return and there's the last time he gets to hang out with Athena, Jamie, Aax, Caspian, and Fenris bc Rae doesn't know if his relationships with them will survive what he has planned.

#10: "If I don't make it back from where I've gone just know I loved you all along" (Inkpot Gods, The Amazing Devil) is Rae going through with his plan despite his belief that he's going to loose his friends. He talks to Isla's grave but we never get to see Rae saying goodbye to his partners (unlike how he got to say goodbye to his family before their death). Maybe he wanted their last memories of him before they realize he's a monster to be good and happy? And in the end he doesn't make it back because bringing his family back proves to be too much.