#you know what better tag this with marauders tags just in case

[lijeuxs]

sometimes i just randomly remember that my aunt is actually good friends with eddie redmayne

[lilacella]

Ten people I'd like to get to know better

Thanks @neege (+ @mrstellmeafuckingsecret ) for tagging me this looks like a fine distraction on a Monday morning 😊

Last Song

Empathy by Crystal Castles (but it was in a playlist I was checking out). The last one I turned on intentionally was Girls in Bikinis by Poppy

Favorite Color

Purple. Much to everyone's surprise.

Last Book

"Machtübernahme" by Arne Semsrott. It's a book about what to do when the rightwing afd in Germany should get into power 🫠🫠

The last fun thing I have read was "Garou" by Leonie Swann. It's a book about sheep solving a murder case.

Last Movie

Alien. (The first one)

Last TV Show

The german version of the Bachelorette. And apart from trash TV I think the last proper series I watched was Emily in Paris 💀 You see, I like high quality entertainment!!!

Sweet/Spicy/Savoury?

Savoury!!!

Relationship Status

This is giving me facebook flashbacks 😂 In a relationship <3

Last thing Googled

"BVG Weihnachtszug"

Means, christmas train in Berlin. It's basically a Christmas market in an S-Bahn and I was looking for tickets.

Current Obsession

Hmmm I don't know if I have one apart from my usual marauders brainrot. Maybe nailpolish? Does that count?

Looking forward to

Getting a new tattoo this week 🥳🥳

Tagging absolutely not 10 people xD Also No Pressure obviously. If you don't like to do stuff like that just ignore!!

@albi-bumblebee @casurlaub @plecotusauritus @polaroidcats @lynxindisguise

Also, OPEN TAG if anyone feels like doing this!

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Hi, please free to ignore( huge fan of your metas btw)

What are your thoughts on Peter pettigrew? In swm we saw him fanboying over james to being responsible for his death. Just because he was afraid or he never really loved his friends. Many people say James and Sirius treated him shitty thats why he betrayed. Some even say he was just a tag along. Please share your thoughts.

First of all, thank you!

(also, unless they are rude, I don't ignore any questions, it might just take me two years to answer)

Peter Pettigrew

My very controversial opinion on Peter is that I love him (as a character).

To me, Peter is one of those characters who represent how Rowling's clear lack of self-awareness as a person translates in her work into her being unable to recognize her strengths as a writer. The majority of the most interesting things she comes up with are not the ones she focuses on.

And that's the case for Peter Pettigrew, who might be the Marauder with the most interesting story.

It's way too easy to reduce him to a coward as the author seems to want you to believe. And even claiming he didn't love his friends is a flattening of his character.

You can have a tendency to be influenced by peer pressure all you want but you don't become an unregistered animagus to help someone if you don't love the friend you are doing that for and you don't have a bit of courage (especially considering how long the whole thing was and that he wasn't particularly talented). He risked extremely severe consequences on his body due to the possibility of the process going wrong and he risked Azkaban for being unregistered.

That's fundamentally the opposite behavior of the one he later has with the Potters.

I also think it's important to point out how Remus is not a close relative (father, son, brother) and how the help Peter provides is not essential to Remus' survival, it's emotional comfort. The lack of necessity of the animagus matter and the easily cancellable bond with Remus increase the braveness and love of Peter's act (in contrast for example with something like what Narcissa does with her son by lying to Voldemort).

I think Peter's story is the one of someone who lost his courage, not the one of a person who never had it.

Doesn't this also make it so much more delicious how his downfall is caused by the return of a glimpse of honor?

I do agree with the fact that in SWM, James and Sirius don't treat him particularly well, especially Sirius, but I don't think they are that aware of it, especially James. They are a bit crude, and they are arrogant. They are two bright posh 16yo guys in a boarding school in the 70s. I don't expect from them a particularly high level of sensitivity in how they talk to people, especially to someone they take for granted knows to be their friend. Sirius is probably more aware of it, but I believe James to be quite unaware of himself at this point in the timeline. This is before his maturation really kicks in, his whole interaction with Lily shows a lack of self-awareness in how he talks to people (we know Lily turns him into a bit of an idiot, the problem is that he doesn't seem to be aware of it). Sirius on the other hand seems a lot more self-aware than James. A lot of people are not going to like what I'm about to say but: James is canonically a better person than Sirius.

And yet, it is abundantly clear that both James and Sirius love Peter.

James gives into Peter's hands his own life and the ones of his wife and son. Sirius gives in Peter's hands the lives of the family he chose.

In the Shrieking Shack, under all the pain Sirius has for the death of James and Lily, it is evident that there's also the pain that comes from the betrayal of a friend.

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Black. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!" - Chapter 19, Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban

Lily herself is very attached to Peter, in her letter to Sirius, she calls him Wormy (how cute is that?). And, let's remember that she too puts her life and the ones of her husband and son in Peter's hands.

It's too easy to say Peter was just a tagalong, that they didn't love him. It incredibly diminishes the pain of his act.

I also would like to point out that Peter isn't stupid. He was a double agent, he managed to frame Sirius by using in his favor people’s low opinion of his skills (and Remus and Sirius' rocky relationship). James, Sirius, and Remus might have thought of themselves as smarter than Peter but I don't think they actually believed him to be stupid. Considering who the Marauders are, their knowing how good of a liar, and how cunning Peter could be, would be a perfect explanation of why they became friends in the first place.

Does this mean they all loved Peter but Peter only loved Remus out of his friends?

We can't really be sure of his feelings for Sirius, but the admiration he shows for James and the sense of guilt we know he has for his double agent activities don't really align with that image.

I think Peter's fear for his own life ended up winning over the love for his friends.

But why at this point? Why not at Hogwarts?

Something quite interesting is how Peter's father is the only parent of the Marauders who is never mentioned, not in the books, not in any additional material. Doesn't that align just so well with Peter always putting himself at the service of the most important male figure around? First James, and then after school, with the war going on, Voldemort.

Isn't it such a fitting image, Peter growing up without a father, with a too-cuddling mother whom he ends up resenting, faulting her for the absence of the father? It's so natural to paint him as a young man crushed by a sense of inadequacy towards an image of masculinity he idealizes but can't fulfill, supported by a society filled with a very toxic sense of masculinity and an absent father he can sew on any fantasy he wants.

When Peter was at Hogwarts, being friends with James, and being part of the Marauders, gave Peter a sense of security that allowed him to be brave enough to prioritize his love for his friends over himself.

Out in the real world, though, Voldemort is the dominant man and being positioned against the Dark Lord takes away the sense of security he had as a student. Both times Peter goes to Voldemort, he does it because he doesn't feel safe.

It's also abundantly clear how Peter's siding with Voldemort doesn't come from ideology. He becomes an animagus for Remus, he's a dear friend of Lily.

Peter dies because Voldemort doesn't trust him, and he is right in not trusting him. Somewhere in Peter, there's still the boy who risked his life for a friend.

Try to tell me this is not an interesting character.

He's still a coward overall, but a complex one.

Also, Peter Pettigrew is a clear victim of pretty privilege when it comes to the fandom. I'm ready to bet whatever you want that if he had been described as handsome the most popular ship with Sirius would be Sirus/Peter.

Actually, he didn't even have to be described as handsome, he just needed to not be described as ugly. Draco is described as having a pointy face and people have been lying to themselves claiming he's incredibly handsome for the last twenty-five years.

[conjectureand-gloom]

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ welcome! ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

important information ��

alex

they/he/xe/it

non binary 💛🤍💜🖤

lesbian ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜

youreverydaydemikid -> conjectureand-gloom (15/01/24)

minor (february 8th)

multifandom

fanfiction writer

GMT +10:30

INFP-T

2w1

lyn lapid fan blog @tlit21c

i stand with palestine 🇵🇸

my new main account is @holesofmy-sweater

links ⬎

my ao3

my spotify

my pinterest

my instagram (that i’m barely active on)

hamilton fanfic recommendations

2023 reflection post

fandom list, fanfiction request masterlist, written works, wips, asks, tags and mutuals under the cut

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ fandom list ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

hamilton (feel free to request for any hamilton ship, i love them all so much, alexander is the absolute DREAM for a multishipper. alexander is my main target for angst! this is my main fandom)

jesus christ superstar (jesus/judas or jesus/judas/mary mainly for jcs, but feel free to ask for any other ships and i’ll consider it!! and no, i am not religious. i have been raised christian, but just ended up with religious trauma)

a good girls guide to murder (pipravi fluff and angst :) but i’ll so gladly write fics about sal and andie, or becca. ravi is my comfort character, and i just torture pip relentlessly)

nevermoor (personally i’m more of a cadence/morrigan girly, but fics for nevermoor will mainly be gen! i love found family, so jupiter & mog fluff or angst is my favourite)

in the heights (canon ships mainly, but feel free to ask for other ships! i’m not in the ITH fandom much, so these are going to be much more inaccurate)

newsies (again, more gen fics, but i do ship dave/jack. also i love angsty crutchie fics. this is one of my smaller fandoms, so these will be super inaccurate)

keeper of the lost cities (preferably marella/linh or tam/keefe! but again, feel free to ask for any ship!!)

hunger games (gen, preferably. but i’m team peeta in case anyone was wondering. fuck gale.)

maze runner (okay i haven’t read or seen TMR in ages but newt/thomas)

divergent (canon ships only. and no, christina/tobias is not canon.)

six (gen all the way. found family. also i love katherine howard angst over any other queen)

the song of achilles (achilles/patroclus? literally what other ship is there????? this is my favourite book)

wednesday (wednesday/enid. i feel like this requires no explanation. also. angst fics. i almost exclusively write angsty wednesday fics, rather than enid. i love the whole of the addams family, and i love familial hurt/comfort)

marauders (i’m not in the marauders fandom much at all, like i really only know the actual hp canon marauders. so.)

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ fanfic request rules ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

i’ll write for any fandom listed above, i love them all! however i am much more active in hamilton, agggtm, jcs, nevermoor and kotlc, so those fics will be much better than the other fandoms’ would be

i’ll write any genre other than smut, and angst/whump is my absolute favourite. any AUs you could think of, literally anything, i’m not picky!

i won’t write romanticised abuse, non/con, or anything like that. that’s not to say that my fics can’t have dark aspects, but i won’t romanticise any of that.

on that, i’m not going to write any non/con, romanticised or not

also, i won’t write omegaverse, nor will i write y/n or self insert fics. nothing wrong with those genres, i just don’t write them!

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ written works ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

It’s Only A Matter Of Time - A Hamilton Watches Hamilton Fic

i wish i could say that was the last time

call me son one more time

when they surround our troops

then a hurricane came

take a break

and his right hand man…

she was holding me

the great war

we got traffic on the west side

steal into my affections

the fact that you’re alive is a miracle

fools who run their mouths off wind up dead

my father wasn’t around

philip, you would like it uptown

i may not live to see our glory…

an outrageous demand

stay alive

my dear, angelica

to convince you that i love you

but this situation’s helpless

like mother, like daughter (agggtm)

“but now this room is spinning…”

“i’ll call out your name but you won’t call back”

“like crying out in empty rooms, with no one there except the moon”

me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you (gifted to @holes-in-my-false-confidence)

baby it’s cold outside

the entire exposé (inspired entirely off of @jittyjames’ fanfiction series ‘the price of his war’)

my world is burning (yet another fic based off of jami’s series ‘the price of his war’)

i’m sorry if any of these links are incorrect, i spent over an hour on just this section

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ wips ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

achilles, come down (last two works in series still need to be written)

je m’appelle… lafayette? (one chapter to go)

lams (taylor’s version) (a few chapters to go, unsure if it will be finished)

you’re the one who disappears (agggtm, unsure if it will be finished, or when)

judas’ death (jcs angst fanfiction)

untitled (hamil-gang liminal spaces au longfic thing idk)

febuwhump drabbles (possibly)

be my valentine challenge

so big/so small (so big/so small from deh but hamilton and his ma)

bloom like rose thorns (a longfic that may or may not ever be finished)

rewrite of ‘i wish i could say that was the last time’ and ‘call me son one more time’

baby don’t cut (lams angst based off of a song with the same name)

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ collaborations ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

fem!hamilton au with @jittyjames and @firebalda

if anybody is interested in collabing at all, please hit me up!! i love writing with other people!!!!

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ asks ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

please send me any asks at all!!! and also please put fic requests in my ask box, i did say that i would have your request out in 6 months, but i have had one sitting in there for over a year (sorry jami.) but um. i promise im trying to get better at that

also, feel free to ask for fic recommendations!!!! i’ve linked a post earlier in this post with a huge list, but it’s not fully updated with some more recent fics :)

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ tags ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

asks- all the asks ive answered, these are also tagged with the url of the blog, or with anon dearest if it was an anon ask

akeyla ml- posts about/with my incredible incredible partner @holes-in-my-false-confidence who i love so much ❤❤❤❤❤❤

tag games- self explanatory, tag games :)

sleep is overrated- me trying to fix my sleep schedule in 2024

personal- personal vent posts. please block this tag, i have had someone unfollow me before because of these posts :)

₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ mooties ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

@jittyjames

@like-the-stars-i-shine (irl friend for 5 years now)

@holes-in-my-false-confidence (my partner, irl <33333)

@felizusnavidad

@weeping-in-the-willows

@swiftieannah

@the1laff

@anixknowsnothin

@purpleblobfrompluto

@starduckys

@now-thats-his-bride

@kwilooo

@evilteapot (irl friend)

@my-dear-gal

@idontwanttobeabuzzkill

@mynightsoutofsight

@cc-horan28

i have more mutuals, but this is everybody who i interact with more often and i actually consider to be my friend. if anybody wants to ever message me or actually become friends with me, please do!!!! i love talking to you guys, please message me, i promise im not scary <333

[cyaneyedcl]

fandom culture rant

tldr; dont go shitting on people's works just bcs u didnt like it, thats some disgusting asshole behavior, fuck u if u do so.

and pls show your fanfic writers lots of appreciation, they are the biggest backbone in most fandoms, they deserve nothing but love.

there's something so insane and illogical when it comes to the people that read fanfics (which have clear explicit and alternative universe tags) yet proceed to complain about how these had — surprise, suprise! — sexual content and scenarios/personalities that weren't an exact copy of the ones in the source media.

and usually one would want to believe people will keep their opinions to themselves or rant about it in a private space with close friend(s), because that's the bare minimum one can do to show some respect towards a writer that shared their fanwork for free.

but recently, that's not been the case.

bcs now there's this new trend going around (specifically in tiktok, to the surprise of nobody) where people publish videos talking about how a certain fanfic was — and i quote — "incredibily ooc", "genuinely weird", "overrated", "poorly written", "a freak fest".

and this type of behavior wouldn't be so shocking (even tho is not ok) if it was coming from one random person in the internet, but because this is happening in tiktok (which is a well-known platform for having the biggest audience reach when it comes to social media apps) the hate is extremely amplified.

when i tell u the amount of hate these tiktoks gather is insane, i mean i've seen them surpass the 3,000+ comments (which is more than half of the comments the fanfic has). and most of these consist of people sharing their even more aggressive opinions about the fanfic, or even saying how "this other fanfic is better".

it honestly mind blows me every time i see this happening, because — or at least in my experience — there's always been this unsaid rule (even though i'd dare to say it's more of a sense of logic) in fandom spaces where everybody knows that if you didn't like the work of a fan, you close the tab and move on with your day. because, what do you gain for belittling the efforts/hard-work someone put in something that won't change the source media, or ur life?

and if you are one of those bystanders that applies the whole "people need to learn to take criticism" to this situation then u are wrong. no debates. because,

in this case, this so-called criticism it's just a sugar-coat for hateful comments.

that is NOT how criticism works, not when the author didn't ask for any feedback what-so-ever and even less when we are talking about a story that nobody pays for to consume it.

it's baffling to see readers develop this liberty that makes them think it's ok to say whatever they feel like saying about fandom works, without taking in consideration that behind every fanfic, fanart, music, skit, etc. there's a person that probably felt proud of their work and is happy about creating something.

also, i feel in the need to clear out that even though i'm talking about a specific fanfic in this post (which is in the tags in case u haven't figured it out yet), it's definitely not the only one that's received this treatment. i've seen it happen in the kpop, danmei, and harry potter side too, specially in marauders.

i believe this behavior is due to a shift in fandom culture that started because of covid, but that's like, a whole other rant post for another day.

[a-hundred-jewels]

ptsd made me a hardcore marauders fan for seven months

Ao3

content warning: the following contains discussions of school violence, teen violence, (briefly) domestic violence, mental health issues, depression, and trauma. if any of these are sensitive topics for you, please proceed with caution. in addition, if you feel i've missed a warning, please nicely let me know in the comments.

I don't like Harry Potter. 

Sure, I binge-read the entire series in a bored, undiagnosed-ADHD-induced haze at the age of thirteen, have spent countless hours reading and even writing fanfiction for the series, have followed tumblr tags, listened to playlists, watched youtube videos, and am in the process of very slowly hand-binding myself a copy of A Black Mass Over Highway Ninety, but—

I don't like it, but nevertheless, I was sucked in. 

~

"Some kid overdosed," one of my classmates said. 

"What?" 

"They're clearing the hallways."

Our principal had just come on the loudspeakers to issue a "shelter in place" order, telling us to ignore all bells and stay in our current classroom until he came back on and told us otherwise. I was actually glad, hoping the extra time would allow me to finish my Spanish homework before second period, since I'd spent most of the weekend thinking about the Strictly Come Dancing finals and my King Lear presentation in English class. 

I hardly thought about the order itself—they're extremely common in United State schools, both as drills and as actual occurences. "Shelter in place" originated as a milder verison of going into lockdown where, instead of hiding from a potential shooter, students and teachers must simply not leave the room. In any case, I saw no reason to worry, and set about doing my homework. 

~

In fall of 2022, I started my senior year of high school at the age of seventeen. I was having a rough year—my younger sister's depression was at an all-time high and my mother was recovering from a health scare—but, fandomwise, I was doing great. After all, Our Flag Means Death had come out that spring and I was in love. All I wanted to talk about were the gay pirates, and I even bought myself a "Team Edward" t-shirt with Taika Waititi's face smack in the middle as a "back to school" present. Everything was supposed to get better. 

School sucked, because I went to a big public high school that looked like a prison and had equally-shitty Wifi, my (still undiagnosed) ADHD was worsening, and my grades were getting kind of bad. Even so, for a couple of months, I remained confident that my senior year would be my best one yet.

~

Third period was gym class, meaning I was only about an hour and a half away from the King Lear presentation. Senior year was actually one of the few years where I liked gym, which was awesome. It was just me and six boys, all of whom were nice to me, and our teacher was great. I think we were playing badminton that day, when our principal came on the loudspeakers to say that we were, once again, under a "shelter in place" order. 

We were nonchalant about this, just as we had been in the morning. I cannot stress how desensitized children in the U.S. are to things like this, these days. When my little sister was in elementary school, there was a day when the whole school was put in a "shelter in place" because a man was walking around outside with a bunch of knives. When I was a junior, a boy severely beat up his girlfriend in the school hallway, giving her a concussion and leading to two mass protests. There were violent fights at my town's public schools almost weekly—and all of this is very, very normal. I would go so far as to say that my situation was pretty mild. 

So we sat on the floor and did homework as time crept on, wondering vaguely what was going on, but no moreso than that. Third period ended, and we stayed. It should have been lunch time—we were getting hungry—but there was still no word about the lockdown ending. We stayed. Surely, it could only be another ten minutes or so?

And then, one of my classmates looked up from his phone screen, which was displaying a chat on Discord. 

"Oh my god—someone was stabbed."

~

Before, I get properly started, I'd like to be totally clear: the point of this essay isn't to bash the Harry Potter fandom, not as a whole, and certainly not the sections of it I've been in. I met some incredible people while in my period of rabidly consuming Marauders content, and I don't want to put them down or dishonor the beautiful things they've created with my attitude. I loved my time in the Marauders fandom as much as I could love anything at that point in my life and have nothing but respect for the writers, artists, and tumblrinas who welcomed me into their space. 

All of that being said, I think it's fascinating that I fell into a fandom like this one, particularly when I was doing so badly mentally. My dislike of Harry Potter only increases as I grow, as does my indifference, and, while I understand that's a fairly common sentiment shared among Marauders fans, I also get the impression that nostalgia plays a big part in their participation in the fandom. A Harry Potter- loving, bookworm child grows into a cynical teen, and then into a kind, brilliant adult with a "well, fuck it" attitude towards the world, using their limited free time to take that nostalgia from a childhood book series and write the kind of queer narratives they wish they'd had in adolescence. I could, of course, be wrong, but that's more-or-less how I understood the specific parts of the fandom I was in. (I know pretty much nothing about the tik tok side of the Marauders fandom, so we're just not factoring that in at all). Also, note that I said "adult" before, because the majority of people I interacted with were in their twenties and thirties. Being eighteen at the time and still in highschool, they all seemed at least moderately grown-up and untouchable to me. 

All this to say, once again, that I literally didn't care about Harry Potter until I was almost fourteen and, even then, I only started reading it out of sheer boredom. I have pretty much no nostalgia or happy childhood memories associated with the series—I even skipped large sections of the fourth and seventh books because it irritated me whenever the main characters were fighting with each other. I was, at best, a casual fan. 

There's something comforting, though, about being in such a big fandom, especially when your bad habit of choice is binge-reading smutty fanfiction in order to feel less dead. And, regardless of how I actually felt about Harry Potter , the concrete safety of a completed, unchanging series of books and movies where the author was already widely disliked definitely appealed tome and my less-than-stable life. You don't need to worry about a scandal if they've all already happened and, no matter how hard she tried to on Twitter, Joanne can't actually change the contents of the books. In my world of current fandoms and kind writers and actors all accessible on social media, the fuck-ass Harry Potter fandom was a bit of a refuge. 

So that's why I think it was specifically the Marauders that I got into.

~

I don't actually remember how long we were in that gym. It must have been at least two hours, including the class time beforehand, but I barely remember any of it. I texted my friends, frantically trying to determine that everyone I knew was okay, and I told my parents what was going on. To this day, the thing I am most thankful for is that my sister, who we'll call Tabitha, wasn't there. I don't know what I would have done if she'd been in school that day. The other main thing I remember thinking about was my King Lear presentation, which was supposed to happen right after lunch, and, as the time stretched on, I became more and more worried that I wouldn't get to do it that day. 

Shortly after my classmate saw the Discord messages about the stabbing, a video of the fight was leaked across Snapchat, as well as an image of the wound. We all looked on in horror, including my teacher (who we'll call Mr. Blake). It's objectively horrible to watch footage of a child being stabbed, no matter how grainy the video is, but, so far, we'd received no official information from the school, so this was literally all we had, and it had happened in the same building. Our principal wasn't allowed to make any statements (at least to my understanding) without it going through our superintendant and, for whatever reason, she didn't feel it necessary to get ahead of social media on this. 

I was trapped in a school with thousands of other people, one of whom had just assaulted someone. 

~

The night before my second semester of senior year began, I stayed up past midnight reading Dear Your Holiness by @mollymarymarie fleabag AU where Remus is a priest by day and a local rock musician by night, and Sirius has a popular music magazine. I had also spent much of my winter break listening to a podfic of All The Young Dudes (made it to sixth year) and generally rooting around people's bookmarks and gifts to get out of my head, so it's safe to say that, by the time I got to school in January, my brain was practially deep-fried in this new fandom, and it would only get moreso. 

~

Mr. Blake felt, after an hour or so, that we'd be safer in the boys' locker room. He brought us down through a stairwell I'd never seen before, tucked away in corner of a closet in the gymnasium. I was thrilled by the opportunity to explore and filmed the journey on my phone. It's a weird, haunting video, not just for the grim situation and shadowy rooms, but because I'm so lively behind the camera. We're all fairly upbeat, joking about how big the school is and what things must have been like when it opened. I won't share the video here, as I don't feel like doxing myself, but I did rewatch it in preparation for writing this and it's truly disconcerting to look at the inside of a building I haven't been in for over a year, to hear the voice of a past version of myself and know I'm seeing snapshots of a day that changed me forever. 

All there was to eat in the locker room were these Gatorade protein bars—mine was supposedly cookies and cream flavoured. I still remember the taste, sickly sweet and artificial. On an empty stomach, particularly an overly sensitive autistic one like mine, it was a horrible idea, and I felt sick afterwards, but god, I was so hungry. 

I sent a selfie to my parents and Tabitha, then tried to read fanfiction while listening to one of my classmates talk in what sounded like Hatian Creole with his family on the phone. Boys were constantly being paraded in to use the urinals. The walls were painted concrete blocks, the benches were narrow and hard, and so I sat there. 

~

In February, I spend a weekend binge-reading A Black Mass Over Highway Ninety, which kickstarted an obsession with seventies music and fashion. I read and reread the sex scenes during my final few months of highschool, trying desperately to shut my brain up and keep me from feeling so trapped in my daily life and the school I still attended. I got into the works of @spookymoonie, who was incredibly kind to me, and used to visit and refresh their blog every day to see if they'd (sigh) written more porn. Look, man, it was really good porn. 

On the day of my high school graduation, I got dressed in pants that were too small for me, a shirt that was too big, and a cap and gown that made me look like a walking body bag. I mingled with my friends beforehand, taking pictures with people who I now haven't spoken to in months. The ceremony was long and boring but I'm a sucker for that kind of symbolic stuff, so I kind of liked it. I did say for weeks afterwards, though, that I didn't feel like I'd really graduated until I was cycling home, listening to "Telephone Line" on my tinny iPhone speaker. That was my graduation. 

And I only knew that song from the official Black Mass playlist. 

~

By the time we were finally released from the "shelter in place" and sent for lunch, it had been about three hours since our principal's initial announcement back in third period. There was little fanfare to the whole ordeal, and I don't recall any actual information being given to our parents from the school at this point, either, though I could be misremembering. Our principal simply came on the speakers and told us that the lockdown was up and we were to go for lunch. I had a pre-packaged turkey wrap that day—my mum got them from the store sometimes as a special lunch for me. I'm a vegetarian these days, so I wouldn't eat it regardless, but, even if I weren't, I don't think I could bring myself to eat one of those wraps again, not without remembering. 

We'd only been in lunch for about ten minutes when somebody pulled the fire alarm. I don't know who did it, only that it was a student and there was no fire. I hate the fire alarm for the same reasons I hate all sudden, loud noises, and I was so overwhelmed already that I remember crying as we were paraded out into the parking lots, shivering in the cold, late-December air. I sat on a curb and ate my sandwich, wishing I had left when some of my classmates had, as soon as the "shelter in place" was lifted, or at least that I had my jacket and keys with me so I could get my bike and leave right then. 

The fire drill was over as quickly as it had started and, god, I wish I'd left right then. Just grabbed my shit and got the hell out of there. But, well…my English presentation. 

To anyone with rational mind capabilities, it would be incredibly obvious by now that said English presentation was absolutely not happening. A child had been stabbed, we'd all seen it on video and then been trapped for three hours— King Lear was far from a pressing concern. But I was traumatized and one of my groupmates was leaving the next day, so it felt like an emergency. So long as I was focused on my presentation and the soap opera-like melodrama of the play, I didn't have to think about what was happening around me. 

Anyway, we did nothing English related fourth period, instead sitting in a circle and letting our teacher talk us through how we were feeling. I'm very grateful to her for giving us the space she did to feel our fear and anger without judgement, and I will never forget her telling us that we were to use the teachers' bathrooms for the rest of the day, and if any administrators had a problem with it, they could take things up with her. It might not seem like much, but when the stabbing had occured in a student bathroom, it was really nice for someone to acknowledge that we might be scared. 

Another hour, or so, and the day was over. 

~

I also want to get ahead and make sure I'm not framing my leaving of the Marauders fandom as a particularly good thing, or a good time in my life. I was still depressed and unemployed and, even after I finally got a job in August, I managed to hit several more crushing lows before the end of 2023—I was just reading different fanfiction to cope. At the very least, though, I was reading fic for stuff I was actually a fan of, which is typically a good place to start. 

The feeling reminded me a bit of the one I used to get after I'd finished writing and posting a piece of puppet erotica—just this overwhelming sensation of "Wait, what was that?" It's like post-nut clarity, except clearly not. My time as a Marauders fan feels, in retrospect, like a bastardization, an appropriation. I was not a real fan because I didn't really care—I just needed something safe to numb my pain and confusion. That's why it feels so important to make sure I'm not trying to represent or bash the fandom in any way. It wouldn't be fair, because I wasn't really, genuinely a part of it. 

~

When I finally had cycled home and let myself in the back door, I only remember collapsing. My mum was in the living room and I just stood there, I think. All I really remember is this image of how I think I looked, as though my mind had floated out of my head and taken a photograph. My face is very pale and completely blank, my bag somewhere on the floor next to me, and I'm staring at nothing, the performance of being okay just…evaporating. I know my mum told me she'd been facetiming my grandparents and aunt throughout the day and they were worried as well. 

One thing I often forget about that day is that, barely an hour after coming home, I had a violin lesson over zoom. I assume it must have been a similar situation to the King Lear presentation, where I had to act as normal as possible in order to not completely freak out. I told myself that I couldn't cancel, because then I'd have to pay the fee, but, like. I'm pretty sure he would have made an exception. I remember telling him "oh, by the way, I'm a little out of it because someone got stabbed at school today," and seeing the utterly baffled look on his face. He offered to postpone, and I declined. I was not a very good student that day—I think I'd forgotten what we did in the lesson before the hour was even finished. 

I went downstairs afterward and told my mum everything—I think. Either that or I lay in bed. The next thing I remember is going to school the next day, because I was still clinging to that King Lear presentation. Or maybe it was just because I didn't know what to do with myself? No idea. The next night, I was feeling sick and tested positive for Covid. 

So that was nice. 

~

My high school was never the same after the stabbing. Rules got stricter, a mass of teachers quit or transfered, the classes graduated and moved on, and I truly think something died that day. No matter how bad things were beforehand, there was always this hope I felt—this optimism. Even if I'd been cynical for weeks, all it took to love that shitty old building was an orchestra concert or a school play. It was trash, but it was home. That love didn't come back. 

My love for the Marauders proved to be just as fleeting. I literally woke up one day last July with a craving for this Good Omens/Buzzfeed Unsolved crossover fanfiction (called video appeal by ravel_aorla) and that was the end of my phase. Poof! Avada Kadavra! 

I'm proud to say, though, that I'm doing much better now. I'm writing and editing this in my college dorm room, which I moved into just yesterday. I'm also very into My Chemical Romance now, and am able to share that interest (and a long furby) with one of my best friends, @vriska-serketboard. It's been a year and a half since my high school has darkened the door of my feet and I am worlds better for it. 

Call it instinct as a former GSA leader, but that's how I want to end this. It get's better. I got better, and you can too. 

Thank you.

[awesome-rosier]

Thinking about people talking about redeemable vs not marauders charecters.

And like first off the whole point of fan fiction is... that it is not canon. But-

Dolores- nope. She's bad. She uses her authority to torture children, and later on those she sees as lower blood status (which is a stand in for race... so). No good sides. She keeps moodys eye. That's some messed up stuff there. Also- torturing. Children. I don't like ships with her because she sucks! She sucks

Barty- I'll say I do think he's mischarecterized a lot. I enjoy that mischarecterization- I like crazy barty who does crazy things. But it doesn't rlly match canon. However, I do see him as redeemable as a child- he grows up as a politicians kid. He's smart. He's quiet. You could argue that he was just a sleeper agent nazi the whole time. Or maybe he got into that stuff later. However, neither of those is canon! So if you are one of those oooo it's gotta be strictly canon folks... there's no way to know. So barty as a good kid? Sure.

Reg- people hate reg man. I don't get it. I mean, he takes the darkmark at 16. During a war. After his sibling ran away. Yes, it's never confirmed that his parents are physical abusive. However, from what we hear of #12 it's not fhe sort of place a kid should grow up. His parents were blood supremacists. Unless kids are exposed to other beliefs, it can be really hard to break away. Sirius got out because he was sorted into gryfindor. Reg wasn't. You can take that as a sign he was bad to begin with but really, it doomed him. Slytherins, especially during the war, seem to have been ostracized a bit by the other houses, which put him in an echo chamber of pure blood supremacy. As we can see from the recent Jan 6 pardons, the "maga granny" who rejected the pardon after attacking the capitol did so after *therapy* and *prison time* and realizing she was in a cult. It's hard to get out of these situations as a 16 year old. In a war. Placing full culpability on reg feels like throwing stones from glass houses to me. He changed in the end, he had a life long affection for kreature. To say he's at the same level as Bella or something in terms of badness is just to say you don't *want* people to get better or change. That's far to black and white I fear. People do change

Snape- see the big difference between reg and Snape is that Snape was friends with lily. She was a voice outside his echo chamber that he supposedly valued, and he gave into peer pressure or whatever and called her a slur. That's not the kind of thing you do when you love someone. Was the prank justified? Obviously not. Do I ship people with Snape? No not really, because he messed his relatio ship with lily up. Like he did that, yk? So I wouldn't ship snilly because that's just... or well maybe I would write that fic but it would be about what Snape did wrong, yk. Anyway. His motives aren't great. He gets adult James and lily killed. He only goes back to Dumbledore because of a crush he had, and one that didn't seem to value her personhood much. We have wayyyy more info on Snape than Dolores or reg, so it's harder to make a case that he was just... good. Shades of grey. I don't like his flavor of betrayal much either but one way or the other, idc. Oh and he was abused as a child! So there's that. But he was friends with lily after that abuse and didn't call her slurs until later. So I don't think it can be blamed for everything. But it does add another layer of grey

Voldy himself- for those of you that bash reg as being white and male... may I present Tom riddle. Hate his guts man, he sucked. Idk. Pretty much from the start.

I'm not gonna tag charecters or ships cause ik people block those and this is more just general discussion.

[moonstrider9904]

War's End

Chapter 6 of Moonwalker: The Batch

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{crossposted to AO3} {join my taglist!} {wattpad}

Crosshair x Fem!OC, Hunter x Fem!OC

Chapter summary: The end of the war is imminent. Sarah's feelings for Crosshair are blooming. But the end of the Clone War will threaten to tear them away from another as the entire galaxy falls to the shadow of the Dark Side.

Warnings/tags: Mature (minors still not allowed). Mentions of death. A lot of O66 angst and I mean a lot, SOME ANGSTY ROMANCE MUAHAHA.

A/N: Here it is. Prepare for the O66 angst you weren't going to escape. Prepare for Crosshair angst. Prepare for Hunter angst. ANGST EVERYWHERE.

Also there's no cover this time because my internet insists on not uploading the image correctly, but this gif is kind of fitting either way. Enjoy!

Word count: 4.8k

Things concerning the war had done nothing but escalate. The tensions between the Republic and the Separatists had become greater, and it seemed like there was always something going on. Every mission was a priority. The batchers admitted even they had never been as busy going up and down the galaxy, mission after mission, and everyone in the Marauder could feel it in their bones that something big was coming.

Eventually, the squadron was led to the snowy forest planet of Kaller. Sarah and Echo were only just getting used to not having many details in their briefings, and such was the case for this particular mission, in which they had only been instructed to land the ship at a certain set of coordinates for them to be met by a Jedi commander named Caleb Dume. New to Clone Force 99, Sarah and Echo were still experienced soldiers. They knew better than to question their superiors’ methods in the middle of such a pivotal moment in the war, when Coruscant itself was under attack by Separatists.

Sarah couldn’t help but feel her bones vibrate with uncertainty. She thought of Anakin and Obi-Wan, called back from the Outer Rim sieges. She thought of Ahsoka, whom she’d heard had returned to assist Mandalore. Sarah couldn’t help but feel a core group in the GAR had been divided, and she didn’t feel great about it. But a clicking caught her attention–the light, delicate sound of a rifle being disassembled and cleaned brought Sarah’s gaze back up, and she found her thoughts calming down. Her cheeks heated, but her heart sank the longer she looked at him.

Crosshair and Sarah hadn’t had a moment alone since Kashyyyk. He was distant as ever; although Sarah was happy his demeanor hadn’t changed with her after the obvious romantic tension they’d had on Kashyyyk, she longed to feel his proximity. Her lips tingled every time she thought of how close she’d been to kissing him, her very heart quivered when his gaze fell on her. Even her marks had settled into the bond. They no longer burned with fervor, but rather felt at ease when he was around.

But that wasn’t everything. Sarah prided herself in how observative and intuitive she was, and one thing that didn’t escape her or anyone else was how close Hunter had grown to her too. She’d noticed him and Crosshair glaring at one another more times than one, mostly when Crosshair tutored Sarah to better use her rifle, or when they had to remain in the back lines of their formation as marksmen. Sarah knew Hunter made the efforts to approach her too, but before any relationships were consummated, Sarah remained with the instinct to not act upon whatever tension Crosshair and Hunter had going on.

What Sarah did know was that she couldn’t feel better working alongside Crosshair. Their synchronicity in battle was exceptional. Granted, a big part of their dynamic was the result of mutually having saved the other’s life. The fact that Crosshair was teaching her to improve with her rifle was also a pure gesture on his behalf that Sarah appreciated, although they usually had an audience, mostly Wrecker betting on how long it would take them to kiss, an activity he did much to Hunter’s distaste. It was so obvious that Echo had approached Sarah and teased her about having a little triangle multiple times.

But the best detail was the diamond. After seeing Crosshair’s diamond on a chain when she woke up on Kashyyyk, Sarah donned her own diamond the same way on a small chain around her neck that she could safely keep beneath her blouse’s neckline at all times. Crosshair didn’t don his chain all the time, especially not in battle, for which he either hid within a compartment in his rifle or gave it to Sarah for safekeeping.

Indeed, being around Crosshair, alone or not, was good for Sarah. But that day, in the ship, as Tech was just beginning the descent on Kaller’s atmosphere, Sarah got a different feeling, like a lightheaded episode of vertigo that resonated down to her chest and burned in her marks. It felt off, like a premonition.

“Sarah?”

Hunter’s voice tore Sarah’s attention from the odd feeling she’d gotten and she looked up to see him and Crosshair looking intensely at her. By that point, everybody on the Marauder recognized when Sarah got one of her feelings.

“What is it?” Crosshair asked her.

Not even she knew. All she knew was her intuition was telling her to beware, but she didn’t know what. She knew it had to do with Crosshair, and she thought of telling him, yet at the same time, she didn’t want to. Would it put him in danger? Was he in danger?

“Nothing,” she said. “Or not–nothing,” she began to stutter. “I don’t know yet.”

“We’ll be on alert,” Hunter rested his hand on her shoulder. “We always are, anyway. It’ll be fine.”

Normally, Sarah would take Hunter’s word for it. In the time she’d spent with Clone Force 99, she’d learned to trust those men more than anyone else, but the odd sensation turned into a bitter, cold wave the moment the Marauder touched down on firm soil. Sarah tried to relax, but the sensation only worsened when she and her comrades descended from the ship, when she saw the young Padawan waiting for them.

The Force was moving strangely around him, as it did around living beings whose fates were about to change, particularly those who would be staring in the face of coldblooded fate sooner than they would want to.

The first detail that stood out to Sarah about him was the immense blue of his eyes. They were wide, the distinctive eyes of an outgoing, curious soul. He wore brown robes, those of a Jedi, and had brown hair styled with the traditional Padawan braid. He had full lips and a hooked nose, and his skin had a warm tone to it, one that felt even warmed amidst the cold snow on Kaller.

As he looked upon the clones and force user leaving the ship, he seemed dismayed, no doubt having expected a legion of soldiers rather than a mere squad.

“You are Caleb Dume, are you not?” Tech confirmed and broke the silent.

“That’s right,” said the boy, still examining the clones, jumping a bit when he saw Sarah. He hadn’t been told that reinforcements would be accompanied by a Jedi general, and now that he thought about it, he’d never seen this woman at the temple. He also noticed she wasn’t carrying a lightsaber on her belt, but instead, a rifle on her back.

“I’ve, uh…” the kid began. “I’ve never seen a squad like you.”

“Are we a disappointment?” Hunter asked him with a little smile, catching Sarah’s attention. She’d never seen him around children, or any of her squadmates, for that matter.

The boy chuckled. “That’s not what I meant. You look tough, it’s just what we need. But there are only six of you, and that might be a problem.”

“Don’t be discouraged, we count as an army,” Echo said kindly, and then gestured to Sarah. “She counts as two Jedi and one sniper.”

Sarah winked over at Echo and noticed as Caleb looked at her. “So you really aren’t a Jedi.”

“No, I’m adopted,” Sarah smiled. “But I am force-sensitive like you.”

Caleb hadn’t yet had the chance to meet Force users who weren’t necessarily Jedi, but he had heard of them vaguely at the temple, and finally meeting someone like that made him smile. The kindness of Caleb’s features made Sarah forget the odd ways in which the Force was moving around, so much that the next wave of cold felt as natural as the fallen snow.

“Well,” Caleb looked more secure now. “I’d love to talk more, but we’re in a tight spot down there.”

“No time to waste then,” Hunter said as he and his brothers donned their helmets. “Echo, Tech, with me. Wrecker, you know what to do.” He turned to Sarah. “You and Crosshair are sniping.”

Sarah and Crosshair stayed behind while the rest of the squad, including the young Padawan, disappeared into the forest. As she ran with him, she felt a rush through her body, knowing they were racing without even saying it. Details like those made Sarah feel like he’d accepted her completely.

They found a little cliff that overlooked the battle, and the kid hadn’t been exaggerating. The droid army was closing in on General Billaba’s squadron, pushed way back into their trenches. As she picked droids off from the cliff, alongside Crosshair, she watched as her boys did their thing, and she couldn’t help but feel that little spark of pride for them. It almost made her want to drop the rifle and cheer for them. But every time she appeared to be focusing on her teammates, she’d notice Crosshair taking a few of her targets on purpose in his own little way of teasing her, or as she’d suspected, getting her attention back on him.

If anything, Sarah thought it was cute.

When the battle was finished, Sarah didn’t quite put her rifle away yet. She waited as Crosshair stood up from laying in the ground, and she smiled with mischief when she saw his visor turning on her.

“Nice work,” she told him.

“As always,” his cockiness shone through the vocoder of his helmet.

“You’re welcome,” she raised a brow. “Aren’t you going to compliment me in return?”

“You already know what I think.”

Sarah felt her cheeks redden. “I actually don’t. Care to tell me?”

He slowly paced over to her, his gaze heavy on her despite the dark barrier of his helmet. He inched closer, much closer than he’d ever been to her, expressionless in front of Sarah’s lack of ability to hide her blush and the way her eyes widened. Crosshair didn’t talk, he didn’t need to. His gloved hand nearly brushed her fingers; his figure towered over her.

All that stood in their way was his helmet.

Sarah remained as frozen as the ice on the planet’s surface, her mind and heart racing at the thought of Crosshair finally kissing her, until she heard him snicker and saw him jogging away to slide down the hill.

Sarah remained watching after for a few seconds, well aware of the way he made her brain short-circuit. When she finally regained her composure, she slid down the same hill and followed Crosshair, who had walked slowly so as to not leave her completely behind. The two caught up to their squad as they talked to the general of the battalion, alongside her captain and the already acquainted Padawan.

The bundle of gray-armored clones parted as Sarah approached, leaving her to stand in the middle and openly in front of Depa Billaba. Sarah stopped, unable to keep the smile from illuminating her features, even in spite of what had just happened with Crosshair. She’d met many Jedi before, and she’d only seen Depa Billaba in passing, and Sarah knew she was incredibly strong, compassionate, powerful. Sarah admired this woman from far away, never failing to realize how regal her presence was.

In short, Sarah was nothing but honored when the general finally looked upon her and smiled.

“So it is you whom I have heard so much about, besides your unnatural squad,” Depa Billaba said.

Sarah nodded. “I am pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“As am I,” Depa Billaba said before turning to Hunter and expressed the hope of having more soldiers come to their aid.

As Hunter explained they were the only ones who had been sent here in light of the attack on Coruscant, Sarah noticed from the corner of her eye that Tech very suddenly took out his holopad and appeared to listen very closely to his comm. Focusing on him, Sarah noticed the subtle changes that flashed through his eyes, and she didn’t need a Force-given talent to know Tech wasn’t listening to something ordinary.

She reached out and gently nudged his arm. “What is it?”

Tech seemed phased for a few short moments before it dawned on him that Sarah’s wasn’t the only attention he’d caught. He lifted his visor and addressed the clones and Jedi before him, lowering the volume on his comm to better process what he’d just heard.

“Comm chatter is saying that General Kenobi has encountered General Grievous. He has reportedly engaged him in combat, and if he were to win, the Clone War would be over,” Tech explained.

With the sound of distant explosions, all conversation fell silent. Looks were exchanged as everyone processed what it could mean for the war to be over, no doubt a bittersweet feeling for the clones. The war’s end was something that had seemed so distant, so huge, yet it had seemed so close when Tech had put it to words.

The same bittersweetness settled upon Sarah as she thought back to Umbara, when she and Fives had talked about the end of the war. They’d talked about what would happen to them after that, about wanting to live a quiet life, maybe even having a family. And though Fives wasn’t there and she’d moved on, Sarah began to long for that quiet life again. Without thinking, Sarah looked over at Crosshair, but as she did, Sarah couldn’t help but notice Hunter was looking at her.

“That’s…” Echo broke the silence, and a bewildered scoff left him. “That’s amazing. The war is going to end.”

“It could end,” Tech corrected.

“It will,” Sarah got their attention. “That must be what I felt back at the ship; it’s huge. No wonder the Force is moving strangely.”

But as she said it, it didn’t make sense. She felt as if there was still a missing piece in the puzzle, otherwise, she’d have recognized the Force’s movement as positive even before.

Captain Grey, general Billaba’s second in command, cleared his throat and intervened. “I hate to break this up, but until we get an official cease-fire, we still have to take care of the Separatist army heading our way.”

“Of course,” Sarah snapped out of her thinking and addressed him and General Billaba. “What would you like us to do?”

General Billaba crossed her arms and smiled with trust at Sarah and her squad. “I believe you can figure out your plan for yourselves. You certainly seem capable.” She then turned to her Padawan. “Would you like to go with them, Caleb?”

The boy’s features lit up like stars. “You know I would.”

“You better keep up, little man,” Wrecker said as he put his helmet on, approaching Caleb with the aura of an older brother. “If you fall short and need me to carry you, just ask.”

“I’m the one who’s going to set the pace, big guy,” Caleb replied with spunk.

The boys set off running. Sarah directed one final bow at General Billaba before running after her squadron, readying her rifle as her feet carried her towards them.

But then, Sarah’s feet began to feel heavy, and already not fully conscious, she came to a stop. Her vision faltered right before an overwhelming wave of pain took over her, causing her to inhale sharply as fear and uncertainty invaded her in an instant. All over, Sarah felt pain, sadness, desperation. Betrayal. She fell to her knees, unaware of her squad’s presence around her, all of them watching in worry at what was happening to her. She didn’t even hear them calling out her name. The pain she felt numbed the rest of her senses, and with the screams and cries echoing in her ears, Sarah hadn’t much more room to listen to anything else.

Multiple visions frightened her as they flashed before her eyes. She saw Obi-Wan falling into a lagoon at a great height after an explosion had knocked him off the trail he was climbing. She saw Ahsoka, her dear friend, deflecting multiple blasts, mercilessly aimed at her. She saw ships exploding mid air, Jedi falling helplessly, all of them with the common question being cried out from their hearts wreaking heartbreak through Sarah’s body: Why are they doing this?. With every passing second, the fear worsened, the pain became more unbearable, and the fading of the cries and screams in her mind didn’t help, as in reality, Sarah now heard Master Billaba’s own cries of pain.

When she could finally return to reality, Sarah’s first instinct was to crawl away from Hunter and the others. She then got up and pulled out her hand blaster and aimed it at him, making him take off his helmet and stare at her with wide, worried eyes.

“Sarah,” he spoke.

“Get back!” She yelled, only half understanding why she was saying it. Reality continued to gradually set in, and struck with bitter cold horror, Sarah began to shed tears as the blaster shook in her hands. “Master Billaba…” she panted, not daring to look in the distance at the sight. “She’s dead.”

“Sarah–”

“Where’s Caleb?!” Sarah’s eyes hardened, loading the blaster. “Tell me he’s not hurt!”

The remainder of the squad took their helmets off and looked at Sarah with kindness and concern, except for Crosshair. He remained distant, but Sarah’s state of fear barely let her acknowledge it. Hunter motioned the clones to remain in place as he slowly walked towards Sarah, his hands up in precaution.

“He reacted not differently from you,” Hunter said. “He just disappeared into the forest.”

Sarah’s eyes quickly scanned him, not picking up a trace of falsehood in his claim, but she still didn’t lower her blaster. Tears continued to roll down her face as Hunter was now in front of her, and he gently reached out to take the blaster from her and tossing it into the snow.

“Sarah,” he spoke softly. Slowly, he took his hands up to cup Sarah’s cheeks. “Whatever’s happening, I’m going to protect you, I promise.”

As Sarah felt his touch on her skin, she felt herself calm down. What was currently happening still wasn’t clear to her, but she did fully trust that Hunter didn’t want to hurt her, nor did any of the others. She looked deep into Hunter’s eyes as another stream of tears left her own, now a cry of vulnerability instead of defense, and as she broke down, Hunter wrapped her in an embrace as the word guardian vaguely made its presence within her mind.

“You’re safe,” Hunter said as he gave her hair a couple of strokes and then turned to Tech. “What do you know?”

“Only the most recent directive in comm chatter, and it’s the only thing that’s been said since Sarah reacted this way,” Tech began. “It says ‘Execute Order 66.’”

As he said it, Sarah felt another wave of cold rush through her body. Hunter was only loosening his grip on her when she clung tighter to him, and she was thankful that Echo approached her and rested his hand gently on her shoulder. It helped her to feel his presence there too.

“What does that mean?” Hunter asked Tech.

“I don’t know exactly what it means,” Tech admitted with a sigh. “But it cannot be good if it made Sarah react the way she did and the Padawan ran away from us.”

“Talk to captain Grey and see if you can find anything,” Hunter told them, gently letting Sarah off his grip. “Echo, go with him. Be discreet.”

Echo nodded at Hunter, noticing Sarah’s apprehension at his absence. The former ARC trooper walked up to her and softly rested his forehead on hers, allowing her to feel the subtle warmth of their friendship.

“You’ll be okay,” Echo told her, and he walked off with Tech.

“Wrecker,” Hunter began. “I need you to stay here and stall whoever tries to follow us, but don’t be too insistent. We can’t take many risks right now.”

“You got it, boss,” Wrecker said.

“Sarah,” Hunter looked at her again. “You’re coming with me and Crosshair. The kid needs to see you, you’re the only one he’ll trust.”

She didn’t have much energy in her, but she knew Hunter was right. She followed him and Crosshair into the forest as Hunter tracked Caleb with his senses, and eventually they reached a point where they could find the young, frightened Padawan hiding high up among the trees. Slowly, Sarah stepped forward and held her hands up.

“Caleb!” She called. “Caleb, I don’t know what’s happening!”

“Ask them!” Caleb spat out, glaring at the two troopers.

“They’re not going to hurt you!” Sarah told him. “I’ve seen it. Jedi are dying–”

“--They’re being killed!”

“--But I don’t know why!” Sarah continued. “I was afraid for a moment too, but these men are not going to hurt you. Come down here. We can help you.”

It was hard not to shatter at the way Sarah’s voice broke, or at how it was evident that Caleb wanted to trust her.

Just as Sarah was about to repeat to Caleb that he could trust in the troopers who were with her, she heard the sound of Crosshair’s rifle being fired, its blast aimed at the Padawan up in the trees who deflected it with his saber.

“Liar!”

The word stung Sarah and she tried to keep track of where Caleb had headed to as he jumped from tree to tree, but she felt her heart wanting to tear from her chest as she processed.

Crosshair had fired.

She and Hunter both turned to look at him, distant, quiet, still donning his helmet.

“Crosshair,” Hunter’s voice sounded wary, angry in an effort to conceal the heartbreak. “Why did you do that?”

Crosshair took a delay in responding, but he began to pace forward as if he were on autopilot. “I’m following orders.”

“What orders?” Hunter met Crosshair and lightly shoved him back to make him come to a stop. “You haven’t been given any orders, now stand down. You listen to my orders, you hear me?”

Hunter rushed away from his brother and looked out into the forest while Sarah continued to stand, speechless. Her gaze was lost among the sparkles of the snow reflecting sunlight, her mind begging her to wake up only for her to find time and awake she wasn’t trapped in a nightmare. The silence was suffocating; she had to do something. Just as she resolved to approach Crosshair in hopes of getting something out of him, he spoke.

“Good soldiers follow orders.”

She froze.

That phrase. That damned phrase. She recognized it, heard it in Tup’s voice over and over after he’d killed Master Tiplar. The cold returned to Sarah, stronger than ever; she recognized it now as the shadow of the dark side. The icy cold, the astounding horror, it was the only thing keeping the tears from falling.

“Crosshair,” her voice broke.

He began to walk forward, and she was unable to move. In her comms, she heard Hunter and Tech discussing: the clones had been ordered to kill the Jedi. They had all been accused of treason. They were all to be executed.

Hunter went ahead to look for the boy, and he’d told Sarah to remain with Crosshair. Crosshair, the man who was usually cold but who always held a note of warmth in his eyes when he looked at her, was now a statue in front of her.

It gave her hope. He wasn’t rushing to find Caleb and kill him. He was standing there, unable to do anything, but Sarah felt it was a pain in his mind. She walked closer to him and noticed as he brought a hand up to the right side of his head as if he were in pain. It sent Sarah’s mind into overdrive as she tried to piece the puzzle together, but she once again was left regretting having left Fives on Kamino. She never figured out what he’d discovered, but from what she remembered with Tup’s situation, she could know in her heart that it wasn’t Crosshair’s fault, it wasn’t the doing of any of the clones. Something was doing that to them, it was making them act against their will.

Crosshair was about to walk forward again, but Sarah quickly stopped him, placing her hands on his chest.

“Don’t go,” she said. “Stay with me, Crosshair. I’ll find a way to help you.”

He didn’t answer; his silence was as excruciating as it could ever be. Sarah could feel him wanting to move again, and she only held him stronger.

“Hey, hey!” She called out, her voice betraying her. She took off his helmet and looked up at him, appreciating their height difference. They were standing in front of each other, not unlike they were up on that cliff less than an hour before, on the verge of kissing. She hadn’t then, and she resolved not to make that mistake again.

Sarah gently caressed the side of his face. It was warm and his skin was soft except for the darkened area of his beard’s shadow about to come in, already coarse.

“What in the name of the gods is happening to you?” She whispered.

“I’m doing what I always do,” he said.

“No, you’re not.”

Crosshair said nothing. He was about to walk past her again, but Sarah refused to let him go. Her pulse rose and she suddenly felt fear of losing him, and she only felt worse when she remembered Tup. Kind Tup, who had become a best friend to Fives, who had been so brave on Umbara. She shook the memories away, focusing on Crosshair as her priority. She knew that Crosshair was still in there; the other clones had immediately turned against the Jedi whereas Crosshair had been in Caleb’s presence and not attacked him for a long time. That had to mean something. It could only mean he was battling it, but it seemed like he was losing that battle.

Sarah’s heart broke. She could not even begin to think of losing Crosshair to that too. She cupped his face with both of her hands and, unsure if it was whether to save him or to cling to him before it was all lost, or merely to let him know she loved him, Sarah kissed Crosshair’s lips and let her arms travel around his neck. She hated herself for not having done that before, but she also felt hope when he dropped his rifle and wrapped an arm around her waist while his free hand held the back of her head. They kissed with more strength, and for a moment it felt like nothing else was happening. Crosshair breathed heavily and, very softly, moaned into the kiss, making Sarah’s knees crumble as she moaned into it too.

Crosshair broke the kiss, his chest heaving up and down beneath his armor. He didn’t back away immediately, and in that time, Sarah hugged him and rested her head on his chest, crying silently.

“Fight it,” she whispered in an effort to not let her voice break. “Please, Crosshair… you have to fight it.”

Silence came from him as her tears fell onto the snow beneath her.

“I can’t lose you,” she finally admitted to him, to the Force, to the forest. It was the purest whisper, and utterly, the most painful as well.

But then, Crosshair broke the embrace and said nothing more. He put his helmet back on, grabbed his rifle from off the ground, and continued walking in the direction Hunter had gone. Sarah was unable to follow him, as if her feet had been fused to the ground. She barely had the will to move. She’d wanted her first kiss with Crosshair to be something sweet, something spicy and lustful and happy like it should have been, not like this.

In little time, she heard the chatter of more troopers headed their way. She suddenly feared they’d want to attack her too, but they didn’t. They merely walked past her, as if she wasn’t even there.

After a long time, Hunter returned to where Sarah was. Caleb wasn’t with him, and he looked sad. If Caleb was dead, Sarah knew he hadn’t been the one to kill him. Hunter looked at Sarah with uncertainty, even with sadness, as his eyes fell on Sarah’s lips noticing the way they had subtly swollen from the kiss.

Sarah could almost hear Hunter’s heart shatter, and it finally drew another stream of tears from her eyes. Hunter approached her, this time not touching her, but his support was extended just the same.

“We have to meet the others,” he said quietly.

“Where’s Crosshair?” She had to ask.

At that moment, Crosshair appeared too, walking slowly, quietly.

Still in silence, he caught up to her and Hunter and stopped, looking at them, and they looked at him too. Sarah could pick up on the note of resentment Hunter was feeling, but she didn’t know if it was because of the kiss or the order, or both.

Still in silence, they regrouped with their squad.

Taglist: @photowizard17 @zoeykallus @sageislostinspring @misogirl828 @dangerousstrawberrypie

[yourlocalmaraudersbabe]

Hiya! May I request a sirius x reader imagine where the marauders are all hanging out by the black lake. James or remus (probably James tbh) pranks the reader by throwing them in the black lake. What he didn't know is that they are scared of deep dark waters and almost drown and sirius saves them? Fluffy fluffy ending please?

I hope you have a good day!~

💜

“You’re right, nobody can be as lovely as me”

Summary: James thinks it’s funny to throw you in the water and Sirius is there to pull you out

A/N: omg look who decided to post :=)

Warnings: drowning/not be able to swim and there's like one swear word

Word Count: 1401

Masterlist + Characters and ships I write for

Requests are always open <3

Fluff Dialogue Prompt List

Join my taglist here!

“Please enjoy your dinner and relax this evening!”

You sat with your friends, directly next to Sirius while Dumbledore’s voice boomed through the Great Hall, food appearing down the table in front of you.

There were only a couple days left of your sixth year at Hogwarts, the summer holiday so close you could reach out and grab it.

“So what are we doing after dinner?” James asked.

You grabbed a spoonful of mashed potatoes, starting to make a plate of food for yourself. “How about we hang out by the lake?”

James quickly swapped his plate for yours, leaving you to give him a lovely middle finger.

“Prongs,” Sirius chastised as you laughed. You laid a head on his shoulder, telling him it was harmless.

Your boyfriend pushed his own plate over in front of you, urging you to sit up and eat.

James shrugged his shoulders, promptly digging into the wonderful food in front of him.

“Y/n,” Lily started. “I really like that idea. We can all go—”

“But y/n never swims,” Peter cut her off, nearly whining.

“Yeah, it’s not fun without you,” James added. “Why can’t you just go in for even a little bit?”

You glared at the two of them. “Absolutely not.”

Sirius grabbed your hand under the table, squeezing it before placing a kiss to the top of your head. “You better not have just gotten crumbs in my hair,” you whispered, shoving his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stepped outside, hand in hand with Sirius as the warm glow of the sun setting lay a blanket on the world around you. Your friends had already made their way out here, the only reason you two are arriving now is because of the boy next to you.

“C’mon, I need to go back to my dorm. I wanna bring a towel in case I decide to go in.”

“Well do you want to swim or not?” you asked.

“I haven’t decided yet,” he laughed.

“You are the most indecisive person I know, Sirius,” you took his hand, following him up to Gryffindor tower.

“Am not.”

“You are,” you laughed. “Well I’m deciding to lay out, maybe read a book. I’ve also decided that I’m stealing a blanket.”

“Hey, stop rubbing your decision making skills in.”

“Oh, and I’ve decided I’m stealing a jumper.”

He gave a dramatic frown.

You gave a quick kiss on the side of his cheek as he stepped through the portrait hole.

“Well can I at least pick which jumper you steal?”

“Hmm, I don’t know if you’d be able to decide which one.”

You spotted your friends and they waved, casting you smiles from the lake.

Sirius dropped your hand, skipping a couple steps to be in front of you, walking backwards.

“I have a question for you, y/n.”

“Ask away,” you sighed, a smile curling at the corners of your mouth.

“Be honest. Would you still give me a hug if I were to have just gotten out of the water? A kiss perhaps?”

You burst out laughing. “No. No way. Not when I’m perfectly dry.”

“Well maybe we’ll have to test out that theory.”

You deadpanned. “You’re hilarious.”

“I am, aren’t I?”

You spread out your blanket, lying down and soaking in what the sun had to offer before setting completely.

Sirius made his way to the water before the light had disappeared entirely. You closed your eyes, enjoying some much needed rest.

You didn’t know how long you’d been asleep for, and it didn’t really matter now. All you knew that you were hovering over the lake. You had to be dreaming.

You couldn’t tell how high up you were, you were barely able to make out the silhouettes of your friends.

“Ha-ha, very funny!” you called out. “You can put me down now.”

James’s voice echoed up to you. “What? You don’t want to come in for a little swim with us?”

You looked down and saw his little grasp on his wand as he controlled how far you were from falling.

“James, please put me down on the grass.”

You could hear it in his voice. You could hear how he expected this to just be a harmless little prank of his.

“But it will be much funnier if you plop into the water. Just a small plink.”

He didn’t even give you time to respond before you were plummeting into the lake. Your friends were further away than they seemed to be. James had thrown his head back in laughter, ignoring you. Ignoring how fear took over your body, making it nearly unbearable to relax and just float. It was hard to breathe, you could barely even cough as you struggled to stay above water.

“James? What the fuck?” Sirius was at your side in a matter of moments, his arms wrapped around you as you clung onto him for dear life. You had gotten yourself into a coughing fit, as soon as you were steady afloat. You didn’t know if the tears streaming down your face were from embarrassment or genuine fear.

“I feel pathetic,” you finally whispered to Sirius as he swam to the grass.

“Everyone has something that gets to them like this. James didn’t know,” he whispered back while he lifted you out of the water, pulling himself up after. “Are you alright? Can you breathe okay? Do you need to see Madam Pomfrey?”

You sat up, wiping at the tears from in your eyes, your hands moving to fumble with the grass blades in front of you. “I think I’m alright.”

Sirius called for a towel with a near perfect wordless spell. He caught it before it flew right into the back of your head, wrapping it around your body snuggly. He ran his fingers over your face, wiping away the droplets of water, pushing your hair back out of the way. “I’m really sorry about all this, y/n,” he said. “I wish I would’ve seen what was happening.”

The overwhelming feeling had pooled tears in your eyes. You slouched down, leaning into his side. “No, it’s alright. It’s not your fault,” you choked out a laugh, wiping under your eyes.

He took your hand, curling his fingers around yours, rubbing gently against the top. “Want me to go get James? Rough him up a bit?”

A smile crept upon your face. “No, it’s alright.”

A genuine laugh bubbled up in your throat. He hugged you tight, speaking quietly. “How about we go back up to my dorm? Get settled in some warm clothes?”

“I like that idea,” you said. “But only if you carry me.”

And that’s exactly what Sirius did. He carried you all the way up to his dorm, letting you change into dry clothes and slip under the covers first.

He didn’t take long himself, turning the bathroom light off as he made his way over to you. He pulled back the blanket atop of you for a brief moment before laying down and pulling you up against his chest with one swift movement of his arm. You turned your head upwards, opening your mouth to talk, yet failing to produce any words. Your voice cracked, tears appearing once more.

Sirius rolled you over, brushing the hair out of your face and wiping away the tears as they spilled over, muttering soft notes of reassurance. “You’re okay now, y/n.”

“It was really scary,” you whispered, the lump in your throat aching as you spoke.

“I know, darling. But look where you are,” he smiled, kissing your forehead sweetly. “Let’s focus on the present: you’re in bed with me, you’re in comfortable clothing, and you have a blanket to keep you warm and safe.” He tucked the material closer up under your neck.

“I’m right here. Nothing like that is going to happen again,” he trailed off. “I’m here to hold you, darling.”

“Thank you.”

He kissed your nose and wiped away the last of the tears. You turned over once again, tucking yourself in his arms.

It was quiet for a mere moment.

“Hey, you’re sure you don’t want to get back at James? I could make a wonderful polyjuice potion over the summer. James would make for a lovely black dog I know of.”

You contemplated. “I don’t think James could pull off being that lovely.”

“You’re right, nobody can be as lovely as me.”

Sirius Black Taglist(if your name is crossed out I couldn’t tag you :( and send me an ask if you’d like to be removed): @violetrainbow412-blog @wisedreamcatcher @scorpiobaby22 @emmaev @harrypotter0addict @siriusbarnesslut @talksoprettyjjx @onyourgoddamnleft @ilovejamespotter @florqlness @l1lli @confuscita @niceandspicy @emmysworld @i-do-random-things-do-not-ask @daedreamss

[pastelpaperplanes]

You mostly draw Megatron with Crusade in his Cybertronian look but in your canons it was said that while carrying the spark Megs wore his Marauder look. Did Megatron changed bodies or is the Canon changed?

yes! haha so hmm let’s see. So far up until A Little Too Familiar I have tossed Crusade into my Crackship AU—because with the Cybertron’s future AU with a whole lot of my other sparklings, ones that have considered backstories, they wouldn’t exist because of Shamus and Envoy!—and yes in the Crack AU, Megan does sport his Marauder Upgrade.

I’m still 1000% open to keeping Crusade as like,,a cameo for the Crack AU but I will say I’m getting far too attached to their character to better NOT explore them more in a more intricate backstory kind of sense! Many of the asks I’ve answered previously about Crusade’s personality and future are still canon—with the exemption that Crusade has a far more present/loving relationship with their Carrier, who as a literal helicopter parent is near suffocating in his protectiveness and efforts to keep his sparkling away from the hands and influence of the Autobots, even if that means locking them away on the Nemesis far too much to be healthy, and lying straight to their face, and others, about their origins.

Since the TFN 2021 S4 kickoff script reading I’ve been leaning towards guess what—a whole other AU that continues RIGHT after that point, much like where the CF AU would—only certain rescission within the timeline have been changed leading to, in some relationships, a vastly different setting for a next generation! (No, I don’t think I’d create a whole ton of other sparklings in place, for example a planned Strika/Lugnut kiddo wouldn’t happen for obvious reasons, nor would Shmaus or Envoy exist!! Who would remain, THAT I will figure out later down the line.) So Megatron is not in his Marauder form, Optimus is named Magnus, Jazz is with team Prime/Ninja Corps, Sentinel is still a dick figures, Prowl is still dead and so forth.

What I have planned is sort of like where the Deceptions sport a retreat after their bust on Earth when attempting to take over the central line of techno organic energon. The Cons faced losses, high command was scrambled and still very much injured from their cruel, and unusual keeping within Trypticon, heavy sacrifices turned out to NOT reap greater rewards, and the troops are still starving—and starving, scared mecha are far more dangerous than angry ones.

Optimus is still coming to terms that he is due to lead Cybertron, under the title of Optimus Magnus as soon as he’s back, whether he likes it or not as the front lines are still very much on edge with the evermore increasingly violent rouge Con raids.

I made some commentary on the reading as a whole which was PHENOMENAL and I’m still riding the high that is the fanTASTIC work that was put into is, like god. There was a brief but hilarious moment from Rattletrap where he attempted to sell off a crudely photoshopped Megop photograph as dirt—a part of me thought it would be even MORE hilarious if said photo was actually, used and Op was left sputtering after a double take going like how did they find that. HOW.

My poor, poor fanfic loving heart got going on of course the What if the Enemies Were Fraternizing Throughout the Whole of The Show, Morals be Damned in Those Stolen Moments Because I Like YOU For Some Reason trope. Wow is me, be still my beating HEART. It did not stop—so I made another AU :D yayyyyy

Basically the creation of Crusade follows along in this timeline in that sense. They were a product of one too many lonely nights in some far off abandoned cave that never could quite seem to end with a civil conversation, let alone spark apprehension from the other when it came to going toe to toe of the battlefield for the sake of their Causes. A Comfort without Strings relationship, even if they did come to grow fond of each other, not that they’d ever admit it—a confession, in a sense, would only hurt both parties knowing that the two would never give up their motivations in the ‘impossible ‘case that said feelings were mutual.

From the looks of it, the Autobots did not once tend to the Deceptions during their stay at Trypticon. Megs still sported bare struts and tattered armor up to his escape—it would be believable that medics never once ran scans, let alone were ordered to get anywhere near the high command. With already being in such poor shape, battered, humiliated, starved, violated (those minicons?? homage to Trepan??? yikessssss) and sedated—it would be believable that Megatron wouldn’t pay notice to a small flutter in his spark amongst all the pain and anxiety, at least until he finally could gather his bearings under the lockdown of his temporary fortress stuck on Earth.

Megatron, knowing he was alone, now extremely vulnerable, heavily outnumbered and out favored by his remaining struggling troops, called upon his definitely not most favorite sub team to cower behind—the DJD, to meet his blaring distress beacon.

Tarn and his crew, with the help of the rest of high command’s signal dampeners, are able to as covertly as possible—minus the world sweeper size of the Peaceful Tyranny and the paralyzing droning on of the Empyrean Suite that Tarn just loves so dearly—made it off planet save for a few bumps and bruises from the small force of Team Prime. The High & Mighty Megatron was no where to be seen in the action. Probably off in a hurry to lick his wounds in retreat after getting his ass handed to him, many assumed, but Nickel knew better. Tarn knew better. Something was terribly wrong in order to resort to a ‘cowardly’ extraction and evasion mission.

You can see where I’m going w this—so anyways YES that is the general gist of where this AU kicks off!!! Megs and Op, particularly Megs, got unlucky on their last night together—eventually all leading to the introduction of the previously secretive back up weapon that was the DJD. Coming to the rescue of their Fearless, All Powerful, and Resilient Leader?? A strange, but instantly understandable measure to resort to once Megatron reveals himself as a carrying mech, the beholder of a true heir and a testament to the resilience that is the Deceptions though the terrible reign the Autobots have held against them through the eons.

I’ll go into why he keeps Crusade on a tight leash and Op out of the loop entirely for as long as he possibly could—and how the rest of Megaton’s troops behaved around this clearly, half blooded Con sparkling their leader doted on— later!

Needless to say, Crusade’s reputation from the moment they were born was tottering on a fine line between that of pitiable condolences for their leader, and that of true Decepticon pride knowing that the one to lead them to glory some day is none other than one of the Autobots’ very own descendants.

Hope that kinda better explains things! I like Meg’s Cybertronian design, it’s sleek, it’s sexy, it’s easier to draw, and since S4 gave us a fresher design to admire of Optimus, why not have the same for his other half!

YEAHH. so new AU :D AYOOOO I’ll tag this timeline/future mentionings of Crusade and their journey as Cybertron’s Legacy AU

extremely stupid doodle under the cut! I can’t get over the duality of Old Written vs New Written Crusade ahhh 💀💀

I found a horrifically perfect tik tok audio for these two oml

Swapping Megatron stories!

[startanewdream]

heyyyy, i was wondering if u could write something about james and sirius finding out about harry telling snape "theres no need to call me sir professor" its just the most iconic line from the books and i always thought james and Sirius would be v proud of harry and find it absolutely hilarious if they found out😭🤣

Heeeey! Now, there is no way I truly could make justice for this perfect line, but please enjoy this short homage to one of the best scenes ever, set during Christmas of Year 6.

___________________

Being a parent (means no fun)

Harry is wrapping a gift in his room when James knocks on the open door, holding a pile of clothes.

‘Fresh clothes’, he announces.

‘Can you leave on the bed? I will sort it out later’.

‘Sure — late Christmas gift?’, James asks, distracted.

‘Yeah, I — yeah’. There is something in his voice that makes James pause. He looks at the gift Harry just finished wrapping. He doesn’t know what it is, but the tag reads Ginny in a flourish caligraphy he never sees Harry using.

Hmmm. If only Harry would admit it, he thinks, but he just presses his lips, not saying anything. They — well, Lily — had agreed not to mention anything about his crush until their son talks about it first.

Harry leaves the gift on his desk with a guilty expression, avoiding his father’s eyes, and goes to pick up the clothes in his bed. James sits lazily on the couch by the window, waiting patiently. They are alone in his room — if Harry is looking for the best moment to confess his crush, this is it.

But the minutes drag on without Harry saying anything and his hope diminishes; Harry seeks really concentrated on sorting his clothes between what he is going to take back to Hogwarts and what he will keep at home. When he disregards his dress robes, James finds an opening.

‘So, how was old Slug’s party?’

‘Hum, what?’, Harry asks, looking flustered for some reason. ‘Good, I don’t know. Luna was fun, but it’s not my kind of party’.

‘Slughorn has invited you to his little club?’

‘Yeah’.

‘I figured so. He wouldn’t lose the chance of collecting you’.

Harry shudders. ‘Everyone wants the Chosen One?’, he asks, in a feeble attempt at a joke.

James smiles anyway. ‘Mostly because of who your mum is. You think I love her? You haven’t seen how Slughorn worships her’.

Harry laughs now. ‘Yeah, I’ve noticed it. He keeps comparing me to her’.

‘Wow, that’s a compliment if I've ever seen one’.

Again Harry looks flustered. His lips tremble as if he is on the verge of saying something, but he turns his gaze away. ‘My grades have gotten better’, he says nonchalantly. ‘But then Slughorn is a professor a lot better than Snape’.

‘It helps when your professor doesn’t hate you on principle’, James agrees, making Harry grin. ‘How are Slug’s dinners? Ginny is a member too, right?’

Harry lets the sock he is folding slip from his hand. He dives under the bed and emerges with his ears very red; James presses his lips again. Sometimes it’s really hard to stay quiet.

‘I — I don’t know. Maybe I should… if only Hermione wasn’t — I mean, Ginny is a member, but I haven’t been in any of Slughorn’s dinner’, he admits, sounding really miserable with the fact.

‘No?’, James asks, surprised. ‘How come? Your mother used to love these dinners’.

‘Oh, I —’, he rolls his eyes. ‘Ron can’t go, so I usually schedule a practice for the same night, you know. If I am not on detention with Snape, that’s it’.

Another rolling of eyes, with more disdain this time. 

James sighs. Be the parent, he tells himself.

‘Detention, Harry? I know Snape is not —’

‘He hates me’, Harry notes indifferently. ‘Nothing will change it, why bother? And in any case, it was worth it’.

There is a glint shining on his eyes now, so mischievous that almost seems wrong to be on the eyes he inherited from Lily. It’s a much more marauder’s glint.

James saw it a lot of times in his reflection on the mirror, always on Sirius’ face and even in Remus’ eyes, as innocent as he pretended to be.

‘What did you do?’

‘Oh, first class of DADA. He tried to hex me, I defended myself, and he got snape-ish, asking me if I had heard him saying we should practice non-verbal spells. I told him that yes and...’

‘And?’, he presses when Harry stays quiet, smirking more than ever.

‘And he answered me “yes, sir”, you know, all bossy, so I told him there was no need to call me sir’.

James’ lips tremble. 

Don’t laugh, he orders himself. You are the parent. You can’t support him being cheek with a professor.

But it’s Snape.

Still, you are the adult here.

He is a git.

Since when does this matter?

He deserved it.

Of course he did, that’s not the point.

Harry’s answer was really good.

With Lily as his mother, what did you expect?

Lily will approve it.

No, she won’t.

Not out loud. But her son being sassy? She will be proud. Why can’t I be proud? Please? Just a little?

You are proud, you just can’t show it. You are the parent here.

Being a parent is not fun.

Took you 16 years to figure this out?

James closes his eyes, pinching his nose and urging himself not to show any emotion at all. 

Be the parent. Be the parent. Be the parent.

‘You will be all year in detention if you don’t control your tongue’, he mumbles, voice weak.

‘Snape doesn’t control himself, why should I?’, Harry asks, and when James opens one eye he sees his son crossing his arms.

Be the parent. 

‘Because it will make your life easier’, James says, raising. ‘Well, I’ll let you rest. We leave tomorrow morning to the Burrow’.

‘Okay’, Harry shrugs.

James walks away calmly , closing the door to Harry’s room. He goes to his own room, closing the door as well; he picks up his wand and casts a Silence Charm on the door.

Then he allows himself to laugh.

______________

‘And then’, James says, tears of joy escaping from his eyes, ‘he told Snape there was no need to call him sir’.

‘Oh, Merlin!’, Sirius cries, doubling over with laughter. ‘I wish I were there to watch it! The pure boldness!’

‘Can you imagine his face?’

‘Ohhh, he must have hated it! Cheek from a Potter?’

‘Don’t put this on me, it’s all Lily’.

‘What is my fault?’, Lily asks distractedly, entering the room. James’ smile dies. Ops. He doesn’t really want to share it with Lily — if she argues with Harry —

‘Harry’s cheekiness’, Sirius replies without any shame, offering her a goblet with eggnog. ‘He has James’ look, but your spirit’.

‘Tell me something I don’t know. Why this time?’

James throws a betrayed look at Sirius before sighing. ‘Lily, love, now don’t be mad, he already got a detention for it —’

She raises her eyebrows. ‘What Harry has done now?’

‘Well, you see, Snape was being his usual self —’

‘Oh, is the no need to call me sir, professor? He told me ages ago’.

James blinks. ‘You were not upset?’

‘Of course I was, I’m his mother, I had to be’. She drinks from her cup, that mischievous glint on her eyes too, complimented by the most kissable smirk James has ever seen on her lips. ‘But, really, I could not have retorted it better’.

James decides he can’t love her more than he does now.

‘Oh, James, Lily’, Sirius sighs, placing his arms around their shoulders, bringing them close and drying dramatically a tear from his eyes. ‘I’m so proud of you. You raised your son so well’.

[endlessymphony]

hi hi !! i was wonder if i could get a remus x reader where the reader is the mom friend of the group and super caring to the other boys (like constantly telling them to take care of themselves and helping with homework and such) and the boys tease the by calling them “mom and dad” all the time ? its literally my fave trope wkixiskjg also i love all ur writings !!! thank u !! xx

parental dynamic.

remus lupin x fem reader

summary - you were always the ‘mom friend’ in every group, what happens when you and the ‘dad friend’ partner up?

warnings - cussing

a/n - y’all making me simp for everyone

no matter what friend-group you were in, you always ended up earning the title of group ‘mom’; maybe that was because you carried around ibuprofen in case someone had a headache, or how you helped everyone with their homework- going so far as to tutor them, or perhaps it was the fact that you always had snacks on you because merlin-forbid someone gets hungry.

it was no surprise that when you started hanging around with the marauders, they started calling you ‘mom’; in fact, you took that nickname with pride. they clung to you like a group of lost ducklings, being a constant reminder of why you carry around meds, snacks and offer homework help. however, it was a shock when they started calling remus ‘dad’- he was always a little standoffish and aloof, not really fitting the ‘dad’ type. ...did they just start doing this because of your little crush on him?

you sighed heavily, walking into the gryffindor common room to see sirius, james and peter already lounging about. “hey mom.” came a chorus of voices, none of them lifting their heads from whatever they were doing. “hey, boys.” you hummed in response, dropping your bag, which landed on the ground with a thump. sirius looked up, giving you a quizzical look as to ask ‘are you okay?’ without any words. “today was a long day- just tired, is all.”

you claimed your space on the floor near the fireplace, body feeling heavy. you were exhausted, classes draining you of any life you had left to give. they all offered you sympathetic looks, “does anyone need help with anything?” you ask, looking over at them. “well… we’ve all been pretty stuck on this thing for potions.” peter admits, face flushing slightly. you can’t help but chuckle, “alright let’s get started, shall we?”

an hour has passed, and you’ve pretty much done everybody’s homework for them. “does that make sense now?” you ask, the boys nodding at you. “thank you, mum.” sirius chimes, shooting a wink in your direction. you yawn, rubbing your eyes as you starfish yourself across the floor. “hey guys. sorry, i’m late, i know.” remus smiles sheepishly as he sits down on the floor with the rest of you, arms full of books. “i was in the library, and then i lost track of time.”

“it’s okay, dad.” james replies, peeking at you from the corner of his eye. you felt your whole face heating up- the nickname meant nothing, right? it was just for fun, a joke. you rolled over to lay on your stomach, propping your head up on your palms. “hey rem.” you said softly, a small smile gracing your lips.

“maybe we should give mom and dad some alone time.” sirius said, grabbing his bag and standing up, heading upstairs to the dorms. james and peter followed shortly after, not before james could wink at the two of you, though. “shithead.” you grumbled under your breath, remus chuckled lightly. “so, mom” he starts, “how was your day?”

you sit up, crossing your legs as you sigh again, heavily. “tiring, i’m absolutely drained. how about you, dad?” the two of you can’t help but giggle about the nicknames. “how did you end up as dad, anyways?” using air quotations around the word dad. you tilt your head, raising a brow slightly. he stumbles over his words, running a hand through his hair- a nervous habit. “not sure, really. they just started calling me it one-day.”

“yeah, sure.” you drawl, winking at him. all five of you had a habit of winking, but no one knows who started it- if you had to guess, it was probably sirius. “okay, honestly. they started calling me it because i maybesortoflikeyoualittlebit?” he grew quiet towards the end of the sentence, all his words slurred together, not legible. you furrowed your brows slightly, “you what?” “i like you, y/n.” “oh.”

the heat returned to your face, even worse this time then the last. remus lupin? likes you back? could this day get any better? “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have said anything.” remus looks down at his hands, fidgeting with his fingers. “no-no! it’s fine… i, uh.” you struggle to format your feelings into words, so you just give up- grabbing him by the tie and putting your lips on his.

remus’ eyes widen, before closing gently as he kissed you back, hands now resting against your cheeks- cupping your face. it was a sweet and simple first kiss, the two of you pulling back out of breath and flustered.

chuckles fill the room, “so… you guys really needed that alone time, huh?” james asked, smirking at the two of you. “shut up potter, or i won’t help you with potions anymore.” you shoot back, “understood.”

bonus;

“what if we pampered you for a night? like it was mother’s day or somethin’”

you couldn’t help but chuckle, a smile spreading across your face. “you’re kidding.” you went to grab your bag, wanting to start your readings for divination, but sirius pushed it out of your reach. “no, seriously y/n, we never really repay you for what you do for us.”

“fine.”

you ended up with various items ‘braided’ stuck in your hair- sirius did a decent job with the makeup, but you still ended up with too much hot-pink blush on and green eyelids. nailpolish was all over your fingers, not just your nails, but you can admit that peter did a good job with the intricate nail-art he contributed to the ‘pampering’.

“hey guys i’m- woah.” remus stopped in his tracks, dumbfounded by the sight in front of him. you gave him an awkward smile, “hey rem.”

tags 🏷- @miss-starkov @seekinglumos @wizardwheezes @terrific-tozier

join my taglist ˗ˏˋ here ! ˎˊ˗

[sebastianshaw]

OH I was thinking about how I really haven’t given Claudine (Miss Sinister) much characterization in my Alt-Marauders world and one of my goals was to do that Like ok she’s into science but...what else? tagging @sammysdewysensitiveeyes in case you wanna use any of this for your Alt Marauders fics, I pretty much consider it our shared universe now. I may have created it and laid the groundwork but you contribute SO MUCH! Well, people who pursue careers in science are typically knowledge-seekers, truth-seekers, question-askers. They’re the kids who ask ‘why?’ and are never satisfied with ‘just because’. They’re the people who if they don’t know something, will look it up ASAP and won’t rest til they get an answer, and an answer that they UNDERSTAND at that. Claudine is probably that kid who asked why the sky is blue, didn’t get a satisfactory answer from her teacher and parents, and then went to the Internet, and got an answer, and then fell down a whole rabbithole of reading atomospheric terminology so she “got” it completely. Highly relatable, tbh. Extending that beyond research, she’s a digger. She’s curious. She’s nosey. She’s always poking around. She loves learning, but boy does she lack boundaries. She’s also perceptive as hell, and this lets her be very manipulative---we see this in her first story with Daken/Akhiro and then with Gambit and Laura. She can craft a good tale to hit all the right notes a person needs. In her own way, she’s the mirror to Haven in this story, in that she’s got the perceptive type of empathy that lets her pick things up about a person, but not that part where she’s held back from using it against them. Of course, since she’s not an antagonist in this fic, I can see her as trying to use it to HELP others too, which can range from harmless stuff like setting up a date but also stuff that makes you go “hey, whoa, idc that you were trying to help, not cool” which really relates to Manon and Maxime’s struggles, so I think that’s something they could work on together. It’s also a source of conflict with Madelyne, whose past with being steered by others has hurt her so much that she reacts the worst of the lot to this behavior. I think Claudine’s very much a Scorpio, at least my version/interpretation. They’re supposed to be big on being psychologists, physicians, engineers, financial advisors/analysts, chemists, surgeons, auditors. . .people who have extremely analytical perspectives and a need to work things out in some way, whether it’s people or bodies or machines. Some get into occult stuff for the same reasons---remember, “occult” the etymology for occult “hidden, covered over, secret” and that attracts some people for the same reason science attracts other. Scorpios, as water signs, are also supposed to be extremely intuitive, which goes well with my observation about how she must be very perceptive about others in order to manipulate them. They’re also supposed to be plotters who have things planned out ten steps ahead, which, yeah, also. She’s probably the best strategist on the squad alongside Shaw. She might in fact be better than him in some ways, because she can predict and understand people better, which Shaw often fails at. Her analytical perspective lets her point out holes pretty quickly too, but I like to think sometimes she lets the more foolish or headstrong members of the squad go ahead anyway, because she wants to see what will happen. Scorpios are also absolutely the goth sign, their colors are black and red. So, yeah, honestly gonna be drawing a LOT of Scorpio inspo for her. EDIT: also analytical nature means she’s totally down to talk literary themes with Pyro, she ABSOLUTELY asks WHY the curtains are blue

[strawwritesfic]

Student!Remus Lupin x Female!Reader: Despair

Summary: When one becomes a man, one puts away childish things–and in Remus Lupin’s case, childish things include hope and love and happiness.

Rating/Warnings/Tags: T (sexual references; anti-werewolf!reader; bigotry against werewolves; Marauders friendship; established Remus/Reader; breakup; Hogwarts Express; referenced James/Lily)

Challenge: “115 Words” by BonitaWolfSpirit on Lunaescence Archives.

Note: It has occurred to me since writing this that I don’t really understand how the werewolf registry would work. I mean, the Ministry already knew he was a werewolf pre-Hogwarts, but then no one seemed to know but Snape. But there must be some way to get the information, if he can’t get a job, so...*shrug*

Tag List: @imaginesfire

Despair

The final exit of Hogwarts’ seventh year students rarely saw less enthusiasm than it did in 1978. Few of the freshly-minted fully-qualified witches and wizards boarded the waiting train with burgeoning careers or plans for their futures. A handful of Slytherins remained unaffected by the dour mood—several had ministry positions waiting for them, or claimed that they did—but the rest of the students remained stiff and pale and lost. There was a war going on, after all, and now there would be no castle walls to keep out the worst of it. 

Remus Lupin stood waiting at the Hogsmeade platform with his three closest friends. None of them were behaving quite right either. Try as they might have to play at high spirits, James and Sirius clearly didn’t have their hearts in it, and if everyone else was pale, Peter was white as a ghost. Strange, Remus reflected, that he was the least dejected-looking of this group. Then again, he had been mentally preparing to leave school with no prospects much longer than they had.

“So, Remus, will you be coming directly home with James and me? We never did finish making our arrangements.”

Sirius’ voice startled Remus out of his thoughts. He looked from one of his friends’ faces to another, but could not work out what conversation it was that he had missed.

“Arrangements for what?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“For my wedding to Lily, of course!” said James. “It’s in under a month, and I know you haven’t really got another place to go until then. Come stay with us.”

“I’m not interested in accepting any charity—”

“Charity!”

“What are you talking about, mate?” Sirius chimed in. “Peter’s coming, too, and he could just as well stay with his mother. Talk about charity!”

“Hey! You know if I stay with her she’ll never let me outside in the present climate!” Peter said indignantly.

Sirius grinned. “Maybe we shouldn’t let you out either. You might not make it out there ‘in the present climate’ without someone to protect you, Wormtail.”

“I’m a fully-capable wizard myself. I don’t need you and James babysitting me anymore! Right, Remus?”

James turned to Remus, effectively blocking out Peter and Sirius’ continued argument as they stepped inside the Hogwarts Express at last. He gazed at Remus imploringly and unflinchingly. The two wizards bickering a few feet away might as well have not been there at all. This was a shame for Remus, as he much rather would have listened to that than try to evade James more.

“Come and stay with me. Please. The house is going to be too empty without Mum and Dad.”

Such a statement drew Remus up short. It wasn’t often that any of them—James especially—brought up the somewhat recent passing of Mr. and Mrs. Potter. To anyone that wasn’t a Marauder or Lily Evans, James probably appeared entirely unaffected by this tragedy. Remus was one of those few that knew better, and the pity he felt for his close friend was almost enough to change his mind…almost being the key word.

“James, you know very well that I can’t,” he said. “It wouldn’t be safe for you all.”

“I’ve been told that before. We’ll work out something again. Simple as that.”

“How? There is no more Whomping Willow. No more Forbidden Forest. If I get loose there, who knows where I’ll end up or who I’ll hurt? It’s time I went my own way.”

The expression on James’ face made it quite clear that he wanted to argue the point. Seven years had seen Remus become very skilled at knowing exactly what his friends were thinking when the subject of his “furry little problem” arose. To his surprise, however, James then sighed and clapped a hand to his shoulder.

“All right, then. Have it your way. But keep us posted, will you? Got to know where you’re staying so the owl can get you your invitation. And [Name]’s, of course.”

“[Name]’s? Why are you and Lily inviting [Name]?”

James’ eyebrows rose so high that they nearly vanished into his tousled hair. “She’s your plus one, isn’t she?”

“I don’t believe so,” Remus said carefully. “We haven’t discussed it.”

“Remus, you didn’t!”

Either Sirius had won his argument with Peter or lost interest in it entirely. He stared at Remus as though he’d grown a second head again. His cheeks growing warm, Remus did his best to avoid Sirius’ gaze. Of course, he would be the one to realize what Remus was getting at. If Remus had known Sirius was paying any sort of attention to the conversation, he wouldn’t have said anything about you to James at all.

“Not yet,” Remus said firmly, “but it has to be done.”

“No, it hasn’t.”

“Yes, it does.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“I know why you think it has to be done, but I don’t follow why you’re still going to do it.”

After he removed his glasses, Remus rubbed at his eyes. This reaction was exactly why he had not spoken of his plans regarding you to any of his friends. Leaving Hogwarts marked the end of an era for all of them, but most of all for him. His years of pretending to be the same as his peers were over. He wasn’t surprised that none of them had considered this; as far as the Marauders were concerned, Remus was the same as his peers. Now, as they made their way down the train corridor in search of a free compartment, was not the ideal time to remind Sirius of his mistake, but the sooner they were all enlightened, the better.

“Not everyone feels the same way about—”

“Remus!”

All four boys paused to look about. Remus’ heart sank. Racing toward their group was the very last person he wanted see. Sirius, however, grinned at you and caught Remus’ eye.

“Perfect timing,” he said.

You shot him a curious look. And why not? Sirius and you had never been on the best of terms. It had taken several months for him to finally accept that, while he’d never think you were good enough to date his best friend, you were who his best friend wanted to date. This sudden joy was awfully suspicious, but Sirius ignored Remus’ glare to continue smiling.

“What did you say?” you asked.

“Nothing. Fancy sitting with us on the trip, [Name]? Only we’re still looking for a compartment.”

“No, thank you. I’d rather spend some time alone with Remus, if you lot can spare him.”

“They can spare me,” Remus said quickly, before any of his friends could get ideas. “Let’s go.”

Just like that, you quit frowning at Sirius, grabbed Remus’ hand, and tugged him the way he had just come from. He did his best not to look behind himself. This was not enough to prevent Sirius from calling his name before the two of you disappeared.

“I’ll meet up with you later,” Remus said over whatever it was Sirius wanted to say. Then you pulled him behind you into a waiting empty compartment. Only after you slid the door shut did he allow himself to relax.

“Finally. I didn’t think I was going to get to you in time,” you said.

“In time for what?”

A wicked gleam came into your [color] eyes. So preoccupied was he by what he needed to do before the train stopped in London that he did not immediately think to find such a gleam worrisome. You pointed your wand over your shoulder at the handle to the door, muttered a spell to lock it, and pounced.

Remus fell backwards onto the nearest seat as your lips collided with his. This did nothing to stop your momentum, nor did the sound of surprised protest he attempted to make. In fact, both seemed only to encourage you. He found you clambering into his lap before he could do anything to stop you.

This was not the first time he had wound up in such a situation. Although you hardly liked to snog him in front of Sirius (who found great delight in giving you what he considered “pointers”), that hadn’t stopped you from snogging Remus at all. He doubted there was a single nook in all of Hogwarts that you had not pressed him into at some point during the last year and a half. It had taken quite a while for him to grow use to your displays of affections, but it was not in your personality to give up when he did not immediately respond with equal passion. It was for this reason that you didn’t seem to notice he wasn’t kissing you back then either.

“[Name]—”

“Mmm?”

It was very difficult for him to concentrate when you nuzzled his neck like that—something he knew you were well aware of. Then your teeth found his skin. Remus groaned. How many times had he stumbled onto Sirius in this exact same position with a whole variety of girls before sixth year? Though Remus hated to admit it, some part of him—that fully human sliver he could never entirely destroy—had been jealous. He wanted to be able to hold a girl close, to love her and kiss her and provide for her.

You were the answer to his wish. For eighteen months, eighteen horrendous transformations, he had had you. No more. He could not play make believe any longer. Not when he knew the road his life would take once he stepped off the Hogwarts Express for the final time.

Oblivious to his thoughts, you pressed him against the back of his seat with the renewed force of your kissing. You laced your fingers thorough his hair and shifted positions so that you sat against a very specific part of his anatomy. And Remus? Remus just sat there with his hands at sides, allowing the guilt over having tricked you for all that time wash slowly over him.

“Remus? What’s the matter?” When at last you pulled away, your brow was furrowed. A gentle hand lifted to cup his cheek.

He stared down into those wide, beautiful eyes of yours. They were the same wide, beautiful eyes he had fallen for despite his best intentions after having buried his conscience as far down as it could go. Those eyes would never be passed down to children with him in the picture. Neither would your wit or your passion or your dueling skills. You deserved so much more than life with a werewolf.

“We have to stop seeing each other,” he heard himself say, as though from a great distance.

The fingers against his scalp contracted in surprise. Then the weight on his lap disappeared. Your situations reversed; now you stared down at him. Your face had gone paler than its usual shade.

“You’re breaking up with me?”

“Yes.”

Tears sparkled at corners of your eyes, but you blinked them furiously away. “Why?”

“Because we’re leaving school.”

“That’s no reason!”

His heart had never hammered as hard it did then, not even on the full moon. The hurt on your face pained him more than full moons did, too. Remus couldn’t let you know that. You were far, far too kind to let him off the hook if you knew just how badly he wanted to stay right there, kissing you on the Hogwarts Express for the rests of eternity.

“Tell me, what is a good reason for me to break up with you?” he asked carefully.

“How about if you’ve decided you don’t love me anymore?”

That drew his calculated cool demeanor to a halt.

“Well?” you prompted him.

Remus swallowed. “Well, what?”

“Can you look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me anymore?”

He tried. Truly, he did. But as soon as his eyes met yours again, all was lost. He managed a vague, “I don’t…” before he had to look away again.

“I thought so. Why don’t you give something else a try? Did Sirius put you up to this? Did your friends think it would be funny if you made me cry?”

“Actually, they’re very disappointed that I intend to break up with you at all.”

“Then why are you doing it?” you demanded.

“We’ve talked about this, [Name]. I can’t support myself outside of Hogwarts. I haven’t got any prospects.”

“No one does. There’s a bloody war going on, in case you haven’t noticed!”

“It’s not just that. You would be in danger—”

“When would I not? No one is exactly thriving just now. I don’t have a job lined up either.”

“I’m not worried about the war,” he said imploringly.

You took the chance where you saw it. Sensing his weakness, you touched his face for a second time. “Then what are you worried about, Remus? What’s going on?”

This was it. Now or never. He would much rather you hear the news from him than through the grapevine, no matter how much it hurt to have to reveal the extent of his dishonesty to your face. Remus took an enormous breath and answered:

“I’m a werewolf.”

What color remained in your features drained away. He braced himself for the impact of a stunning spell—or something far worse. Whatever it was, he would not lift a hand to stop you. But no spell ever hit him. Instead of speaking any incantation, you let out a solitary sob.

“This isn’t funny,” you said in a shaking voice.

“No,” he agreed.

“I’m going to kill them. I know they’ve never liked me, but this is a step too far. And to think, you went along with them!”

Sighing, he gingerly removed your hand from his face. “No one put me up to this. I am a werewolf. I have been since I was a child. I was bitten before school—”

“No! Stop lying! If you wanted to break up with me this badly—”

“Professor Dumbledore knew,” Remus went on calmly, acting as though you had not interrupted and were not attempting to wrench your wrist free of his grip. “He’s the reason I got to come to school at all. He planted the Whomping Willow and built a tunnel to the shack in Hogsmeade underneath it. I went there every full moon so I wouldn’t hurt anyone when I transformed.”

“Stop it! Stop it!”

“Everyone thinks that shack is haunted because they heard me screaming in there. I was always exhausted after. That’s why I looked so sick every month:. Because I was getting ready to change, and recovering from it. No one could know. I didn’t tell anyone. But I’m registered with the Ministry. I won’t be able to get a job now, and soon everyone will know the truth.”

By the time he finished, you were sobbing. He let you go at last, and you covered your face. Doing so did not prevent him from hearing your whimpers. Tiny shivers wracked your body. To think, only moments ago, you had been kissing him like your life depended on it. Remus had expected you to cry when he told you the truth. He just hadn’t anticipated feeling so awful about it.

“[Name]…” He reached for your shoulder, only to have you wrench it away from him.

“Don’t touch me, you monster!” you snarled.

The kind light in your eyes had died away. A look of absolute hatred replaced it. Seeing that made Remus’ insides twist around like they wanted to expunge themselves of the toast and pumpkin juice he had eaten for breakfast. He dropped his arm.

“I can’t believe I loved you,” you said softly. “I can’t believe we kissed.”

What was there to say to something like that? You were right. None of this ever should have happened. Remus should have known to keep his distance. People like you deserved better than people like him. He was a monster. There was no getting around that, nor was there any getting around the fact he had been a monster since you met.

Remus stood. “I’m…sorry.”

You did not reply. The renewed sounds of your crying followed him back out into the train corridor. Heads turned to follow him as Remus hurried back toward where he had last seen his friends. He had to find them before things took a turn for the worst. Thank God one of the doors slid open to reveal James, Peter, and Sirius waiting for him shortly thereafter—but it wasn’t soon enough.

“You’re not sorry!”

He turned. You had exited your compartment and now stood with blazing eyes in the middle of the hall. No one said a word. One could have heard a quill drop, had you not been breathing like a winded hippogriff with the force of your disgust. Sniffling, you ran your arm over your nose then shouted:

“You’re not sorry, but you will be, werewolf!”

A chorus of surprised noises erupted from every person in the vicinity. Everyone twisted in their seat to see just who you were hurling such an accusation at. Whispers filled the corridor. Then someone—James or Sirius—snatched Remus’ arm and yanked him into their apartment, where they pulled the blind and used the same locking charm you had earlier. Even Peter had the wits about him to cast Muffliato before the pounding could begin.

No one said a word. All three men seemed incapable of finding anything encouraging to say in light of the current situation. Remus didn’t mind. After a few minutes of silence, he moved to look out the window. He was not surprised by your reaction, nor by the reaction of any of the others on the Hogwarts Express. It had only been a matter of time before everyone found out anyway. There was no pity necessary. This was his life now, and always should have been. At least then, perhaps, he would have left one less broken girl behind in his path of destruction.

[elsternwick-rp]

And Now, For a Taste of Things To Come...

Good afternoon to everyone in Elsternwick! We hope you’ve been enjoying Moonlit Mayhem, our Halloween Event which is currently in it’s third phase, Blood Moon!

It will end after it’s next phase, called No Moon, where effects of the moon (or lack there of) can stick around with your muses for the next two weeks!

Our first expedition is still being run as well! Muses are still in another world attempting to stop a problem with marauding angels, and will soon reach a checkpoint, that is to say, the next phase of their journey

With this change, we are allowing anyone to “tag out” or “tag in” as each party reaches a new phase of the adventure, this will allow new members to join the expedition, old ones to take a break, or simply swap muses if they wish!

And finally, there are still Campfire Tales to be told around the story time fire! Your muse can spin a yarn and tell a terrifying... or humorous tale all year round! Just because Halloween’s almost over doesn’t mean we can’t indulge in more Elsternwick Tales of Horror!

After Moonlit Mayhem, we will briefly slow down on happenings but that’s for a good reason! (Though, there will be autumn themed activities still available!

Come December, Winter themed events will return from last year, including snow related events, chilling faery tales made real, and other cool events you can look forward to! Perhaps your muse has been naughty and will receive a visit from Krampus...?

In addition, another adventure will be available early next year!

After the Necronomicon briefly went missing in October, it’s been acting more strangely than usual, pages are flipping through it rapidly, and worse of all, there’s even reports of the Deadites making appearances in Elsternwick! Your party is hired to investigate it, but soon after arriving, find themselves drawn into an ancient prophecy writ upon the pages...

Early next year, Shin will run a dungeon/adventure based upon Army of Darkness, a comedy/action/horror film! In this adventure, participating muses will be lost in time and trapped in the time of the Nordic Vikings, and their only chance of returning home to Elsternwick is to find the Necronomicon, lost in the woods of ancient times. Though little do they know, disturbing it will wake the Army of Darkness.

Trapped in Time, Surrounded by Evil... Low on Gas.

We look forward to any possible interest in this adventure, and will answer any questions!

Now, lastly, for the past year or so, we’ve been talking about our first “story” event, which is to say, an event that has a story around it and can be affected by the actions of those participating, this is unlike a seasonal event which is for fun and could lead to development if you wish, but overall has lower stakes due to being a holiday

We’ve been holding off on this event for a long time due to scheduling conflicts and other issues, as well as the sheer fact that these things take a whole lot of planning and thought, but we think that it’s finally shaping enough together for us to plan it’s coming!

The event is called Emotions Run High

During this event, a strange power from the nearby nexus causes things to happen all over Elsternwick, bizarre creatures are appearing, and people’s emotions are affecting them, and even creating them, and it doesn’t stop there-

The emotions are also capable of affecting the world around them, should it be strong enough! Strong enough anger may cause a fire, despair so deep it could cause things to wilt... And it can also affect people! It may make some muses change alignments, empower them, or worse.

So, how are you going to deal with this?

There will be multiple ways your muses can participate and help... or hinder!

Perhaps your muse is a therapist or a talker, that’s good! They can help others sort out their emotions before something terrible happens. In some cases, that’s better than a fighter

But what about the world? You can’t talk to everyone... in that case, your muse may need some help from another source.

Should you desire, your Muse can gain an additional power/form from another place, allowing them to fight the emotion creatures or effects on equal footing! Where this comes from or how it affects your muse is up to you! Perhaps they come become a magical girl or magical boy, maybe a Masked Rider, or maybe you just want to give them a cool additional power, it’s all up to you and choice and creativity is something we’d really like to focus on with this event! And lastly, if you’re feeling a bit more malicious and mischievous, we’re allowing muses to use this event for negative reasons as well, maybe you’d like to be villainous for a bit, or just want your muse to take advantage of this situation while they still can, that’s also an option!

But we’re open to suggestions since it’s still a bit out from happening! Either way, we’re quite excited for this and hope you look forward to it as well.

That should do it for now, we hope you enjoyed reading this look forward towards upcoming events, it’s been a fun year, but we hope to make this year, and next, even funner! We look forward to seeing you in Elsternwick!

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

The Other Evans Girl [Part Forty One]

Fandom: Harry Potter [Marauder’s Era]

Pairing: Sirius Black/Original Female Character, Sirius Black/Daisy Evans, James Potter/Lily Evans,

Characters: Sirius Black, Original Female Character, Daisy Evans, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Alice Fortescue, Frank Longbottom, Marlene McKinnon, Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix LeStrange, Walburga Black,

Word Count: 1888

Rating: Mature

Summary: Hogwarts is a safe haven, a home for many. But it’s often a place where heartache, love and complex emotions dwell and none know that better than the Marauders. Lily Evans just wants to make it out as a successful witch though the oncoming war and the ongoing advances of James Potter threaten that. Daisy Evans, her twin, has other goals. Join the Evans sister’s as they make their way through Hogwarts, prepare for war and eventually find love.

Tags/ Warnings: My Writing, The Other Evans Girl, Sirius Black Fic, Sirius Black/You, Sirius Black x OFC, OFC, Marauders Fic, Eventual Sirius Black, Sirius Black x Reader Fic, Sirius Black Fic, James Potter is a bit of a dick but we LOVE it, Hogsmeade, Friends, Hate, Love, Angst, Fluff, Kissing, Implied Sex, Potters, Babies, Weddings, Dating, Friends to Loves, Slow Burn, Eventual Sirius and Daisy, Teenage Angst, Insecurities, Fighting, Arguing, Bullying, War, First Wizarding War, Marauders, Marauder’s Era, 1970’s, 1970s Fashion, Canon Character Deaths, Loss of Virginity, Crying, Voldemort, The Other Evans Girl, Marauders Era to war, Multiple Parts, GORE, injuries, harm, fighting, blood, The Potter’s Mansion // Daisy’s Dress

Notes: ask if you want taggginggggg#

LINK TO AO3 // LINK TO PINTEREST // LINK TO ALL PARTS 

After a couple of days, the end of term came and Daisy wasn’t prepared. Having been so busy with classes and the defence club she had barely had enough time to get everyone a Christmas present let alone sort out an outfit and travel for the New Year's Eve party. She hadn’t put much thought into it until Sirius had dropped the bombshell on her that there was another girl in his life. She didn’t know why she cared. She had said to herself that nothing could happen between them but that didn’t mean she hadn’t scoured the Madam Malkins catalogue looking for a new dress the morning after. Even if they weren't meant to be she was sure as hell going to look better than her. 

The morning they were supposed to leave for home Daisy was sitting in her dorm room looking at her belongings sprawled out along the floor and wondering what to pack when Lily came in. 

‘Are you not packed yet?’ Lily baulked, ‘the train leaves at midday!’ ‘Yes, thanks for that Lil,’ Dais said.  ‘You’re not still fretting about what to wear to that New Year’s Eve party are you?’ she said as she sat down on Daisy’s bed beside her. Lily of course was already packed.  ‘I couldn’t find anything to buy so I’m assessing my clothes,’ she said.  ‘Why? It’s you and the lads you said right?’ Lily said, ‘ I thought they didn’t care what you looked like.’ ‘They don’t,’ Daisy said defensively, ‘but it’s a party, Lil…I don’t want to go looking like a troll in an ill-fitting robe. There are important people there…’ ‘Like who James Potter,’ Lily chuckled mockingly though Daisy didn’t miss the fact that at the mention of his name Lily’s hand instinctively went to twirling a strand of hair, something she did when she was nervous.  ‘Like ministry officials. And besides Mr and Mrs Potter are lovely…I don’t want to show them up,’ she said.  ‘Right,’ Lily said, ‘in that case, you should wear this.’ She was holding up a dress Daisy hadn’t worn in years. One she loved but she had always felt too self-conscious to wear.  ‘Lil,’ Daisy said uneasily. ‘You’ll look amazing,’ Lily said and before Daisy could contest she was packing it in her trunk. Lily sort of took over the whole packing task after that, not that Daisy minded. As her sister tucked everything neatly into place, she lay on the bed watching her. Soon enough it was time to leave and she and Lily made their way downstairs to find Mar and Alice waiting for them in the common room. Daisy’s eyes scanned around but she couldn't see the boys and so she left with her girls and made her way down to the courtyard. The carriages arrived and took them into Hogsmeade and as they got out into the station Daisy spotted a gang of familiar heads a way up the platform moving animatedly. She didn’t know whether to head towards them or stay put. Since Sirius had told her all about his new muse all she could do was feel a pang in her chest every time she looked at him. 

‘You don’t have to sit with us you know,’ Alice said following Daisy’s eye line.  ‘But-’ ‘But? Don’t worry about us,’ Alice said, ‘besides I’m sure Mar and I can keep ourselves busy whilst Lily crams in as much studying as possible before we get to Kings Cross.’  ‘I’m going to see them over break,’ Daisy reasoned.  ‘And you sleep in the same room as us all year,’ Alice said touching her arm, ‘don’t worry we’re not going to break because you’d rather be with your other friends besides we don’t want to sit in a carriage with 4 smelly teenage boys anyway.’ 

Daisy chuckled and leaned in to hug her friend. Alice hugged her back and Marlene mumbled a ‘Merry Christmas’ to Daisy as she headed toward the boys. As she got close her heart started fluttering a little much to her annoyance. James and Sirius were throwing something between them, out of Peter’s reach, whilst Remus stood beside them shaking his head. He noticed her first and turned to say ‘Hey Dais.’

‘Hi Rem,’ Daisy said with a smile. As her voice floated through the sky Sirius whipped around and looked at her which earned a clunk to the back of the head as whatever James had thrown hadn't been caught. Peter scurried forward and grabbed the object from the ground, cramming it in his pocket as quickly as possible. Sirius didn’t seem to mind the clunk as he smiled at Daisy and said, ‘hey.’  ‘Mind if I sit with you for the ride?’ Daisy said feeling her heartbeat in her ears.  ‘Of course, you can,’ James said coming to stand next to his best mate and throwing an arm over his shoulders.  ‘Come on,’ Peter said irritably, ‘we’ll not be sitting anywhere if we don’t hurry up.’ And without waiting for them, which was unusual for Peter, he strode off towards the open carriage door. Daisy quirked an eyebrow as they gathered their things and followed where he’d gone.  ‘What’s the matter with him?’ Daisy muttered to Sirius as they walked towards the train.  ‘He made the mistake of trying to hide the Christmas present Fiona Swett got him.’ ‘I take it that was what you were chucking about,’ she smiled wryly.  ‘Of course,’ Sirius chuckled. 

They climbed aboard and found the cabin that Peter had skulked off to. Once inside they stowed their belongings in the overhead lockers and took their seats ready for the long ride back to London. Fortunately, Peter started to lighten up as they crossed the border into England though it had more to do with the sweet trolley coming around and the fact Daisy had suggested swapping presents now than his love for his country. Daisy ended up with four neatly wrapped parcels that she tucked away in her backpack ready for Christmas morning. They chatted the rest of the ride away discussing their Christmas day plans and how all of them were coming to Potter’s for New Year. 

After a few hours, the sky started getting inkier though the compartment was lit by the low carriage lights and the streetlights which were becoming more and more frequent as they neared London. Soon enough they were pulling into platform nine and three quarters which soon descended into pandemonium as everyone decanted off of the train, laden with luggage. Peter hurried ahead waving goodbye to the group quickly as he scuttled off to the barrier in order to make his connecting train. As Daisy’s foot hit the ground her eyes started scanning the sea of people for her sister. Fortunately, Sirius appeared next to her a second later and he was quite a bit taller than her and could spot the redhead a little way down the platform. 

‘Lil!’ Daisy shouted causing her sister to look in their direction. She reached them quickly as the group started to look around for their families. Remus spotted his father almost immediately. He was a tiny bit shorter than his son though that meant he still loomed above the hundred or so children milling around the platform. Remus wished everyone a ‘Merry Christmas’ and then disappeared towards the man who was practically his twin. Unfortunately, Remus’ scarred and tired face made him look closer in age than he should. Before they could look any further Fleamont’s voice was drifting over them, ‘Boys! And Daisy…and I’m sorry who are you?’ he said smiling at Lily.  ‘This is Lily, Mr Potter...my sister,’ Daisy said. ‘Oh call me Fleamont Daisy,’ he chuckled, ‘nice to meet you m’dear. I’ve heard a lot about you.’ ‘Where’s mum?’ James said speaking over his father. Sirius and Daisy shared a look and a smirk as they watched James’ face turn beetroot red.  ‘Oh, you know your mother she’s in a tizzy about Christmas day. She’s in Diagon alley right now doing some last-minute shopping so I said I’d collect you boys and take you home,’ he smiled seemingly not noticing his son's obvious embarrassment, ‘I take it you’re all set for the big day girls?’ ‘Just about,’ Lily said politely. Daisy noticed a slight pink tinge across her cheeks evidently she and Sirius weren't the only ones who noticed Fleamont’s remark.  ‘Anyway we must be going,’ Fleamont said, ‘where are your girl's parents?’  ‘They’ll be through the barrier,’ Daisy said.  ‘Ah, muggles?’ Fleamont said, ‘how fascinating! I’d love to speak to them, I never get much of a chance to meet non-magical folk. Perhaps they could come to our New Year's Eve party! Oh, how splendid! The more the merrier after all!’ ‘Well they’re probably going to want to head off now dad,’ James said his embarrassment mounting.  ‘Don’t be so rude James,’ Fleamont said, ‘besides you should be offering to walk these lovely ladies through. And here I am thinking I have taught you manners.’ ‘Don’t worry Mr Potter. James is quite well mannered,’ Lily said. Four pairs of eyes gawked at her. Had she actually complimented him? In front of witnesses. Before anyone could say anything Lily mumbled a goodbye and grabbed her trunk and her sister by the arm simultaneously. Daisy barely had a chance to shout ‘see you after Christmas' to the boys before she was tossed through the barrier and into the muggle world. 

‘Bloody hell Lil,’ Daisy said as she straightened out her jacket sleeve which was now crumpled from her older sister's grasp. ‘What?’ Lily said snappily. ‘I mean it’s not my fault you said something nice about James. There's no need to wrench my arm out its socket.’ ‘I didn't do it because of that,’ Lily said earning a raised eyebrow from her blond twin, ‘okay maybe I did…’ ‘You’re allowed to be his friend you know,’ Daisy chuckled.  ‘I know…it’s just I don't know if I want to be his friend or…more than that,’ she sighed. ‘Lilian Jade Evans are you telling me you have feelings for James Potter?’ her sister said agog.  ‘Maybe,’ the redhead said as they weaved through people on the platform looking for their parents.  ‘You could do worse you know,’ Daisy said.  ‘Yeah,’ Lily chuckled, ‘I could be in love with Sirius!’    Daisy’s mouth dropped into a perfect O shape as her sister cackled at her. ‘Wait you know?’  ‘Of course, I bloody do!’ Lily chuckled, ‘and I’m only teasing you…I actually think the two of you would be good together.’ ‘Shame that’ll never happen,’ Daisy said morosely. As the words left her mouth she felt her sister's arm come around her shoulder and pull her in.  ‘I wouldn’t be so sure you know,’ Lily said smiling at her sister who returned the gesture. They didn't have time to talk more as they heard their names being barked from a short distance away and looked up to find Petunia and Vernon’s beady eyes watching them 

‘Oh yippee,’ Daisy grumbled, ‘Petty and Vermin are here to bring us Christmas cheer huh?’ ‘Play nice,’ Lily said putting on her fakest smile and walking towards them. Daisy grumbled to herself as she grabbed her trunk and headed in their direction. What a Christmas this was going to be.