#you know that tumblr post that’s like soup is such a caring friend in a bowl. like literally exactly

[simandy]

I've made a gif once of a butterfly flapping it's wings in black and white and, for some reason today, two people from ED tumblr have already used it.

I think I've never talked about it here, but I have an Eating Disorder. It's under control now, and im not one of those girls who look like they have an ED, so when i tell people this they don't believe me, but i do, and i suffer from it.

I don't have much to say, any time i see those numbers and codes in your bios, it breaks my heart. I know your minds better than anyone, i know the revolving trauma and the paradoxical thoughts. I know how it is to look at another woman, then at yourself and the feeling of despair because you don't feel enough. I know how it is to work out until you almost pass out on an empty stomach. But you know what else I know? That this is worthless. Because there isn't an "enough" that is enough for you. I know you know it, deep down in your heart there's a little voice that tells you this. A little voice that keeps whispering: "will I be able to stop?" This voice is your will to live. It is trying to save you, to bring your joy back. No iced coffee will bring it back, no rice cake, no vegetable soup with zero salt will fill this hole in your chest, dear. You will become thin enough to make your thumb and middle finger around your arm and it will make you happy for 5 seconds, until your goal moves to your thumb and your pinky. And I know I'm here, talking about it, risking a relapse by simply thinking about it, but to me it is worthy. Because only God knows how many of you will read this post and snap back to reality and this. This is worth it.

You are loved. You are someone's darling. Even between you guys, you have friends who you care about who are in this community with you. Don't let them go. It's easier to recover with a friend, it's easier to leave the spiral if you join forces.

If you know someone who's showing signs of having an ED, hit them up. Talk to them, show them they're loved, tell them how beautiful you think they are, unpromptedly, unexpectedly. Because i know that's exactly what you think, and they should know it too.

Stay safe. You are loved, and there is nothing you can do, there's no way you can look that will make you stop being loved.

[coldbrewnette]

Truly nothing lifts my mood and spirits like a bowl of broth soup. Ramen, pho, sancocho you name it

[keruimi]

He is Having a Fever

Pairing: Obanai Iguro x reader

Warning: Fluff, slight spoiler under his mask

A/n: Having difficulties posting this since there's a problem in tumblr. This is just a scenario unlike the usual oneshots because I'm running out of ideas so my apologies. I hope he is not ooc in this one and I hope y'all enjoy it!

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One thing that is difficult when this guy gets sick is taking his food. This man being picky in food is tough enough but getting a fever where taste buds can get unpredictable is like a mission itself already.

You don't know what to cook for him without him getting nauseous.

Intake food became difficult for him because of what he went through in his childhood so you can't really complain when it comes to feeding him.

Another reason is his mask. He hasn't really shown you what's under his mask so that's another hindrance when you take care of him.

Especially on the first time he indeed got sick.

He was in denial at first until he finally couldn't ignore the hot feeling that couldn't be removed. It feels like he just finished his training.

The hot feeling of getting work up but at the same time, the feeling of fatigue like you just don't want to get up.

It was confusing.

It worsened when he refused to cooperate with you and just believed that medicine alone can heal it without resting.

"Obanai Iguro! What did I tell you about resting huh?" You called for him when you saw him training with his friend, Sanemi.

A lot of arguing took place before he abided by your wishes and followed you back to his estate.

"I was just out for a short time and you already went training. You really want your fever to spike up again"

He just sighed at your words before you felt his warm body hug you from behind.

"I can't stay still especially when you're not with me" he murmured that made you glance at his sleepy eyes.

You sigh in defeat before you pull him to his bedroom followed by a cough from him.

You sigh in worry before you take a bucket of clean water to wash him up.

You quietly unbutton his uniform as he lays his back on the bed frame.

"If you keep training without even taking a slight rest, you will really not get better" you spoke up again before he helped you remove his uniform.

"I thought it would be fine since--"

"Resting at night is not included" he sighed once again when you cut him off before you wash his body with cool water using a towel.

"Love, you really need to rest, okay? This will not take a week anyways" you spoke in a softer tone that made him lean on your hand that rested on his cheek.

"Let's remove your mask so you can breathe better" you once again ask him to remove it and he shook his head without any hesitations.

"Love..."

"I can't. I'm too scared to remove it" he whispered and you can't help but soften your gaze on his figure as he looks down on the blanket.

"You know, I won't leave. Sooner or later, you will show it to me" you set the bucket of water at the side table before walking to the closet to get his pajamas.

The moment you come back, it seems like he became more tired without the use of his mask.

It made you smile since he seems to get more comfortable without the bandages in his mouth. He can breath better.

"Love, do you want anything for dinner?"

He seems to tense up a little before he relaxes again when you help him change his clothing.

"I don't know. Can I just sleep?" He mumbled and laid his head on your shoulder that made you comb his hair.

"We can't do that. How about Zosui? It's nice to eat it in the cloudy weather" you spoke and you hear him hum as an answer.

"I don't want to be alone in the room" his words made you smile before you lay him down on the bed.

Your lover can really get clingy when he is under the weather. You decide to lure him to sleep so you can cook dinner and after a few minutes you finally manage to go to the kitchen.

You took your time making the rice soup as you check around the house to secure if everything is lock before finally finishing the meal.

You brought it to the bedroom along with yours so you can eat together since he won't oblige if he will be the only one eating.

You put the two bowls on the side table and put the bucket of water at the floor near the bed to give more space for the food and go back to the kitchen to get his water and medicine.

You started to wake him up after you prepared everything. He groggily wakes up as you peck the corner of his mouth that makes him freeze for a minute.

It was indeed the first time you saw his scars but the thing you prioritized the most right now is his fever so you could careless about it.

You pull the blanket off of him up to his knees so he can cool his body a little with the cold breeze tonight.

"Dinner's ready, Love" you assist him on sitting up but his slightly widened eyes are still gazing at you that lifted a small smile on your lips.

You cool down his food before offering a spoon of it to him. He slightly opened his mouth to receive it.

"You need to eat a lot so you can recover quickly." You mention as you mix his food for a while and continue helping him out before he lends his hand like he is asking for the food that made you give the food.

You sat beside him and he immediately rested his body to yours while he resumed eating as you started eating your own portion.

Sometimes, you tend to forget that he doesn't like to feel weak or useless even if he is having a cold or fever.

But you can't really help it when you love him. There is always the instinct to look after him since this is the only time he will lean on you.

The only time where you can take care of him instead of him always looking after you.

You glanced at his direction and saw him almost finishing his food.

"Do you want more?" You spoke up after the comforting silence as you nuzzled your head on his shoulder, feeling how warmer it is compared to his usual body temperature.

You felt him shake his head making you nod before putting your bowl down to get his water.

You wait for him to take his last bite before you take it away from his hands and lend the glass to him.

You took the wet towel again before you wiped his body again as an attempt to cool down his temperature.

"Take your medicine" I gave him the pill and he drank it without a second thought before putting the glass at the side table.

"How do you feel now?" You asked him as you raise his arm to run the towel on it as he just watches you do your own thing.

"Slightly better" he spoke followed by a kiss on your forehead before he leaned back at the bed frame.

"Eat your dinner, I'll wait for you here" you heard him in a more stable voice after eating the warm meal making you nod your head and clean the bowls and go your way to the kitchen.

When it's time for bed, you see him slightly hesitating on pulling you to him since he doesn't want you to get infected but it seems like he forgot that a while ago so you chose to sit beside his head and play with his hair to lure him to sleep once again.

"Thank you Y/n" he spoke with his arms around your waist while he rested his head near your legs, giving him a comfortable position feeling your presence with him.

"I love taking care of you Obanai" you murmured as you kept playing his hair as you saw him slowly closing his eyes.

"Because you got to see me in my vulnerable state" he grumbles with a slight disapproval making you let out a small laugh.

"Well, it showed me a different side of you" the atmosphere was warm and comforting, something good to be true as you felt him tighten his arms on your body making you run your hand on his arms to soothe the tension out.

"I'm glad to see every side of you" you whisper when you notice slightly drifting to the dream realm as you close your eyes to also rest.

If you just know...

You already fulfilled his dream.

And that is being beside him

[weministertomonsters]

M Werefox (Harcourt) x F reader - 1

➤ Pairing - M werefox x F reader ��� Wordcount 1.9k

A lovely reader on Patreon liked Harcourt and asked about a Part 2 for this story and of course I said yes! I had to rewrite Part 1 though, so here it is! Part 2 is coming soon as well.

I don't think I've ever posted this to Tumblr because this story was from my glory days on Wattpad before my book got deleted. (If you’re reading this on Wattpad, maybe you remember it? Idk)

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It's your twelfth birthday and the sun is shining and your friends are due to arrive in an hour for your little party. Suddenly you hear your mother yelling outside.

"Shoo! Out, out!"

You scamper into the backyard to see what the fuss is about and find her chasing the scrawniest werefox kit you've ever seen away from the chicken coop. He's got egg yolk clinging to his chin, an undeniable sign of his theft. His black-tipped ears pin to his head as he deftly dodges the dishcloth your mother is wielding and leaps over the backyard fence, disappearing into the brush.

"I've heard all about him from Pansy down the street. She says she's also missing eggs now and then," your mother says, putting her hands on her hips and blowing her hair out of her eyes.

"But Ma!" You wail, "he's hungry! Did you see how thin he was?"

Your mother pats your head. "He's different from us, darling. Those creatures are half wild. I'm sure there's plenty of things in the forest for him to hunt."

"But he's so small," you reply anxiously. "Not much bigger than me. Maybe he can't catch anything."

"How did he even get in?" Your mother murmurs, checking the latch on the coop, and then tutting in dismay as she sees the side of the coop, where the kit has scratched and chewed through the thin wood planks, making a hole to squeeze through.

"Oh dear. This is going to take a while to fix," your mother sighs and peeks into the coop. "And now I'm a few eggs short for your cake. At least he didn't go after the chickens."

You hardly care about your cake now. "If he comes again, can we keep him?"

Your mother purses her lips together in the way she does when you ask her a question she doesn't know how to answer.

"He might be wild, but he's not an animal," your mother finally replies. "He'll grow just as big as you, and you can't keep him as a pet."

"Why not?" You whine. "He doesn't have a mommy or a daddy, does he? He's all alone."

"You don't know that, darling," your mother says.

"Pleaseee?" You hop from one foot to another and stare up at your mother with pleading eyes.

She smiles, but she doesn't say yes. "My soft-hearted girl," she says and hugs you. "Come, let's see if we can still put together something sweet for your birthday."

You pout for the rest of the week, but she doesn't budge, like any sensible mother. The little werefox has to have a den nearby and you hope the next time you see him, you can follow him to it. The next Saturday your mother is visiting the Pansy down the street with some soup for her sick son. You're alone at home, swinging in the backyard and trying to see how high you can go. Your stomach swoops as the swing brings you down, and just then you see a flash of russet through the corner of your eye.

The werefox boy sits down and pries at the planks on the newly repaired coop, bracing one hindfoot on the wall as he begins to pull. He's stronger than he looks, and you hear the wood beginning to splinter. You leap out of the swing and misjudge your timing, crashing onto your knees in the dirt. The noise startles him and he jumps up.

"Wait!" You clamber to your feet.

He hops over the fence and scurries away, darting glances at you over his shoulder. You grab your half-eaten ham sandwich from the porch and race after him. He's fast and agile, darting into the trees and leaping over fallen branches while you straggle behind, still calling for him to wait for you. You lose sight of him when you're forced to stop and catch your breath. The lettuce has fallen out of the sandwich, but you're pretty sure he wouldn't have wanted it anyway. You walk aimlessly in the direction he went, wondering if you'll be able to find him.

You come across a hole between the thick roots of a tree that looks just about big enough. You kneel and look into the hole. The dirt has been scraped away and smoothed down to make a tunnel.

"Hello?" You call down. "Is this your den?"

There's a rustle, and the werefox boy pops his head out, his eyes alert. You sit back on your haunches and look at him.

"Why are you following me?" He asks, his ears constantly twitching as he listens to the forest.

"You can speak?"

"Duh," he replies.

"I brought you this." You hold out the sandwich, which is crumbly now.

His eyes narrow and he leans forward to sniff your hand. He snatches it from you and scarfs it down, his pupils widening as he tastes the ham.

"Is it good?" You ask.

He nods and eyes your greasy hand. He leans forward and presses his muzzle against your hand, licking the taste of ham away.

You giggle. "You're like a really big puppy!"

He pulls back and disappears into his den.

"Better come inside. It's dangerous out there," he mutters.

You clamber happily in with no regard for your safety. His den is like a secret treehouse, but way cooler. The floor is lined with dry, crunchy leaves and soft downy chicken feathers.

"You might get in trouble for killing people's chickens, you know," you say, crossing your legs and getting comfortable.

There's just about enough room for the two of you.

"I'm not," he says. "I gather the loose feathers when I... You know." He looks ashamed.

"Where are your parents?" You ask. "They should be taking care of you so you don't have to steal."

"I don't know," he says, lying down and curling his tail around his thin body. "I ran away."

"Ran away from your home? Why?"

"It wasn't a home, it was a traveling circus." He stares at the dirt ceiling of his den. "We went to so many different places."

You glimpse a scruffy, dirty collar chafing the fur around his neck.

"Was that from the circus? Why are you still wearing it?"

"I can't work the latch," he says.

"Can I help?"

He squirms and shivers, but tilts his head to let you try. In a few seconds, you've removed it. His eyes brighten and he rubs the fur on his neck.

"Thank you," he says shyly.

You nod. "What was the circus like? Did they poke you with sticks like they do with the lions? To get you to do tricks?"

His shoulders quiver and he makes a barking sound that seems equivalent to a human laugh.

"No, I pickpocketed the crowd. I was small and quick, so nobody really noticed me.

"Where the circus people mean to you? Is that why you left?"

He shakes his head. "They were okay. But we were always in the cities when all I wanted to do was be in the forests and look up at the night sky. I couldn't leave because I had a contract, so I just ran away."

"And now you're here."

He nods, idly scratching the matted fur on his neck where the collar was.

"You can't steal any more eggs," you tell him. "I'll bring you food instead."

"Why would you do that?" His gaze follows you as you crawl over to the entrance of his den.

"Because we're friends," you tell him. "I have to go home now, or else my Ma will wonder where I am."

"Okay."

"You never told me your name. Friends need to know each other's names," you tell him.

"At the circus, everyone called me Harcourt, so I guess that's my name."

"So fancy," you giggle and tell him your name in return. "See you tomorrow!"

You keep your promise, showing up the next day with a whole sandwich this time, and a brush. You show him how to use it and help him pick twigs and clumps of dirt out of his fur. He hates the water, but you convince him to try it. Once he's dry, you brush him until he's fluffy and soft, and the sun dances in his fur. He begins to smile, and you never mind how sharp his teeth are. As time passes you grow apart from your old friends, but Harcourt remains close.

Your mother notices that the eggs are never stolen again. One day as you head out for your daily "walk" she packs some extra food and puts it in your hands.

"How long have you known, Ma?"

"Do you think I'd let my girl leave the house almost every day without making sure you're safe?" She says with a twinkle in her eye.

You wrinkle your nose, trying to picture your mother sneaking after you.

"So you don't mind?" You ask. "Harcourt and I are friends now."

"So his name is Harcourt..." She murmurs. "Just make sure to come home before dark, my child."

That's how you made- and kept- your unlikely friend. You spend most of your free time in the forest with Harcourt, eating sandwiches and drinking cool water from the spring nearby. You taught him how to swim and look for shapes in the clouds and in return, he showed you how to forage for berries and edible mushrooms. You brought some blankets out to his den and on cold days you would curl up together inside his den and you would read to him with the light of a lantern.

He began to put on a little muscle and get taller than you. He was also moodier, and would sometimes growl when he was in an extra bad mood. You got testy yourself, and sometimes you would argue and end up storming back to your house in angry tears. You had always told your mother everything and that didn't change. She listened to you, smiled, and sometimes even shed a tear at your woes.

She never complained about your friendship with Harcourt but as puberty hit she got more cautious, often poking around embarrassing subjects, which embarrassed you to no end. You would tell her it wasn't like that and you were just friends, and then you would run to your room and blush angrily into your pillow, wondering why she even had to bring that up.

Eventually, you had to leave for the capital to further your education. You cried the hardest that day, soaking Harcourt's fur with your tears and promising that you wouldn't forget him. You wrote him letters and asked your mother to read them to him. Your dear mother even wrote back for him now and then. Harcourt's letters were filled with stories about fishing, expanding his den, an incident with a badger, and even working in town to make some money. He had learned to read and promised to learn to write as well.

Half a year later he fulfilled that promise. His handwriting was chicken scratch and hard to read, but you stuck each one to your dorm wall and looked at them often. Your roommate got to hear the whole story from you, and would often tease you and tell you that you were definitely in love. After a while, you stopped denying it.

Finally, you completed your last year and graduated. You could hardly contain your excitement as you packed to go home, looking forward to seeing your mother, breathing in the crisp countryside air, and meeting your good friend again. You headed to the train station and before you knew it, you were on the way home.

[aspiring-creative-person]

Ok but I was just thinking

Jooster is kind of the only actual solid relationship in Jeeves and Wooster?? Like platonic or romantic, let me explain

Like obviously it’s the focus, but like. Listen.

Everyone else hops from girl to girl, or guy to guy, and each one is filled with turmoil. This is just talking about Bertie’s friends, right?

But also, as friends, they really suck. They constantly get him to do things for them and do nothing in return.

Even the aunts and uncles don’t usually have spouses that are actually on screen!! Who knows if there were divorces or something?? Like people’s parents are hardly ever present it’s always some rich aunt or uncle, with Bertie yes but even with all his friends 😅😂

Everyone in that show is just so… detached from each other. There’s a particular moment where Bertie is driving Bingo and Tuppy home, and they’re just ranting about their women to each other and not listening to the other, and Bertie is just so done with it. I think that illustrates this point pretty well.

Anyway, Jeeves and Bertie are so not that. There’s another post somewhere on Tumblr talking about how Bertie always replies to Jeeves’ subtext and they pick up on each others moods essentially, which I think is a great point. And generally they just really like each other. Just read any of the books to see how much Bertie admires Jeeves, and read “Mr. Wooster Changes His Mind,” which is from Jeeves’ perspective, and you can see how he cares a lot for Bertie as well.

And like. They have their own language. Bertie is used to Jeeves materializing into rooms (this generally freaks out other people), he is now comfortable with it. Also he knows that whenever Jeeves is cold to him it’s almost always about his fashion choices, and that is a constant theme of how they interact. They have their quips about music sometimes. Jeeves always helps solve Bertie’s (and friends’) problems, and even when Bertie gets the short end of the stick, if it’s Jeeves’ plan he immediately is satisfied with the conclusion.

The biggest thing, though, is probably their brief break-up. Like. They had a disagreement and broke up, and then missed each other. There weren’t even any hard feelings, just longing tbh. And at the end they got back together, and stayed together, and were happy to see each other again. They clearly enjoy each others’ company. And Jeeves seemed to think that the other candidates for his employer did not even compare to Bertie.

Name another couple in this show who is as devoted as they are

Half of the women go for men for their status, the other half at whims

All of the men go for women on whims, and half of them find another girl when they have some sort of disagreement with the previous one

And even if they get back with a previous partner, there’s no guarantee that they will stay together

But Jooster is in for the long haul. The most consistent relationship, the most caring relationship, the most in-tune relationship, the most long-term relationship.

Oh yeah also with familial relations and all that. Aunt Agatha has been quoted to say she thinks Bertie should probably be put in some home. Like, that’s pretty rude and everything. She also tries to get him to marry all the time, she doesn’t care about him in a way that is healthy at least, only so much as he can be out of the way and out of trouble. Even Aunt Dahlia, who says he is her favorite nephew, and who takes advantage of his nature to get him to do things for her, insults him and throws things at him sometimes. His cousin Gussy, when he gets drunk, insults him in front of a crowd, going so far as to say he hates him. Claude and Eustice put him into the soup without a care for how mad Aunt Agatha will be at him.

Jeeves never insults him, or not his character at least. Yes, they have their disagreements about fashion and music. But Jeeves never insults his intelligence. He never calls him clumsy. He never underestimates him. Yes, he is his employee, but I have a feeling that it doesn’t have to do with that. Even when he was split up, like I mentioned, he came back and said the other employers weren’t up to snuff compared to Bertie.

Omg and then there’s all the women who think Bertie loves them/who want to marry Bertie. Of course, they all have delusions about him, because if they knew him at all they would know he is not in love with them. They would know that he’s too much of a pushover to say no to them. But they don’t. Which just shows further the disconnect everyone has in this show.

Ok referencing one more post because I like the point they have. It was something about how the actors keep changing for the side characters, unintentionally showing how Jeeves is really the only constant in Bertie’s life. Again showing the difference in their relationship vs his disconnected everyone else is. While I’m sure it’s not an intentional choice in that regard, it certainly is an interesting connection.

Anyway like I said at the beginning of this, you can interpret their relationship as romantic or platonic or somewhere in between, but it’s definitely the only solid one in the series.

[chainsawmanicure]

Getting Pizza With the Scarecrow

hey guys. this is a fanfic i had started writing a few months ago about TNBA jon. idk why but i really feel like posting on tumblr dot com and getting some sweet notes. so hear it is.

Trigger warning: talk of food, mention of eating a lot of food (mentioned pizza eating competition), just food stuff mainly, mention of stalking

summary: u go to get pizza, but ur situationship decided to tag along

It was afternoon in Augusta, Georgia, and you were so hungry you could hardly press the gas pedal. Pangs of hunger shot through your quivering frame like bullets through a gun range. As you zoomed down the street, you noticed a sign up ahead: Mellow Mushroom. "oh Thank god," you thought to yourself, "something other than mcdongles...." for your stomach yearned for nourishment, though not from the likes of such an establishment as McDongles. Ough

     Pulling into the parking lot, you felt a strange coldness envelop you. You turned around to see if there was anyone else in the car. Sure enough, in the back seat sat Jonathan Crane... The Scarecrow. your old friend from college. He was tall, so tall you wondered how he'd managed to hide himself in your brand new 2024 Nissan Leaf (I googled compact cars). However he'd managed to, for some reason now he decided to show himself. His face was mangled beyond recognition. You couldn't tell exactly if it was his face or a mask, but his mouth opened and closed along with his words and his big white teeth shone clearly in a permanent  grimace. He was wearing the same wide brim hat, tattered jacket, noose, and tight pants as he usually did, and next to him his big stick laid across the seat.

"Jonathan." you greeted, not too surprised at his appearance. You'd suspected he'd been following you for some time now. At home, you'd noticed patterns of unfamiliar wet bootprints on the floor, and missing items from your trinket box, refrigerator, and massive pile of dirty clothes which had built up in the middle of the bedroom.

     In college, he had displayed an interest in you, often getting a little too close to you and staring at you from across the lecture hall. He'd always had weird ways of showing his interest in you, and expressions of friendship. Well, you weren't really friends. Not anymore, at least...

     Too tired and hungry to properly address him or ask him how he got in your car, you stepped out and started towards the restaurant. You soon heard the car door slam and felt Jonathan's presence behind you once more.

"Hungry?" he asked, stepping beside you as you pushed open the door of the establishment.

"Believe it or not, yes. I think someone's been taking all my soup and bread, and I've had nothing to eat at home." you shot him a mildly accusatory glance after saying this.

Jonathan didn't respond immediately. He knew you were aware of his visits to your apartment. He'd intended it to be that way... a reminder he still cared. A reminder he still remembered.

Jonathan: "Maybe someone wants to know where you buy such lovely soup and bread."

You sighed. "Costco. Now are you seriously going into this joint with me? I'm gonna be arrested for being in kahoots with the Scarecrow."

Jonathan: "Calm yourself. We're in Augusta, Georgia. To these people, I'm just an ordinary freak."

     The person at the table like when you walk in and theyre like ok follow me you know? They smiled politely through fearful eyes up at you and your companion before quickly scuffling away, leading you to an empty table.

The joint was fairly empty, save for three individual men and a young couple sharing a peach iced tea. Jonathan pointed at the couple.

"Perhaps they should've gone to Steak and Shake. They have milkshakes there, better for romantic sharing."

"Shut up, Jonathan. Shut up right now," you replied.

     The host scampered away after leading you to your table, and you were left waiting for the waiter with a set of menus before the two of you.

You sat on one side of the booth, and Jonathan sat across the table from you. You were surprised he hadn't sat next to you and squeezed you against the little wall thing dividing this booth from the one on the other side. That seemed like something he would do, but not today apparently. In fact, other than infiltrating your brand new Nissan Leaf, he had been acting rather civil. Civil, of course, as opposed to the clingy curious and weary endangered animal behavior he had exhibited so many years past.

     You watched as he surveyed the menu, holding it delicately in his big long grey hands. You didn't remember those hands being so grey and so... scary. Even harmlessly holding a pizza menu, they seemed as though they meant to instead hold your throat, to squeeze and squeeze until the lights went out. And by lights going out, I mean like, you die.

     He'd positioned his big stick at the back corner of the booth, and it had fallen so it poked against your shoe under the table. He set the menu down after a moment and spoke in that unearthly rasp of his, "I think I'll get a slice of the Kosmic Karma, and a peach iced tea, like the one those two lovebirds are sharing," he pointed once more to the young couple, who had now finished their first tea and gotten a refill.

"Well, I just want cheese," you said. "I think I'll get a whole pie. I'll take the rest home."

Jonathan chuckled, though with his raspy hush it sounded more like a weak cough.

"Take the rest home..." he repeated humorously, "what makes you think you won't devour the whole thing now?"

     And with that old familiar clingy freak swagger he possessed, he leaned forward and held your chin gently with his big long fingers.

"I think we both know how much of an animal you can be," he teased, though his expression contained zero percent of the flirtation his voice tried to sell. (if that makes like literally any sense at all)

     You swatted his hand away. "That was a long time ago." You hadn't eaten a whole pizza in one sitting since the pizza eating contest of sophomore year... None of your friends were able to attend it, but Jon was there. Oh, yes he was... watching intently with his curious and vaguely frightened eyes as you wolfed down eight slices of sausage pizza in under 7 minutes. He had seen a side of you no one else had really witnessed... seen your wrath, your gluttony, your pride, your... lust.

In the nowtimes, he sat before you, hands flat on the table, beady white pupils boring down into your own normal black ones. His demeanor was cold. He knew you were pushing him away, trying to forget what you two had shared all those fateful years ago. You didn't want to remember, but with him sitting before you, wearing his new sexy skin, you had no choice.

     The waiter arrived and shot the scarecrow a sideways glance before clearing her throat. "Hello, thank you for joining us today. May I ask what you two would like to drink?"

You looked at Jon, but he gestured for you to speak first. "I'll have Dr. Pepper, please." The waiter nodded and turned to Jonathan.

"I'll have the peach iced tea," he didn't shift his gaze from yours for a second, "with two straws."

[jalapenobee]

I GET HOME AFTER A LONG NIGHT AND I LOG INTO TUMBLR, MY FAVORITE LITTLE WEBSITE, AND I GO TO ACTIVITY AND I GO OHH MY LOVELY FRIEND BEE WHO I CARE ABOUT OH SO MUCH HAS TAGGED ME IN A POST OH HOW I LOVE BEING TAGGED IN THINGS I LOVE WHEN MY FRIENDS THINK OF ME I WONDER WHAT ITS ABOUT

AND YOU KNOW WHAT I SEE?

ABSOLUTE AND UTTER BETRAYAL. A HORRIBLE ATTACK ON MY CHARACTER AND A CRUEL JOKE. TO THINK MY BELOVED FRIEND OF MANY MONTHS WOULD BETRAY ME IN SUCH FASHION. A SICKENING DISPLAY OF CRUELTY OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE. COMPLETELY UNPROVOKED MIND YOU

AND TO THIS I MOTHER FUCKING SAY

MY SOUP IS FINE AND COMPLETELY NORMAL AND DOESN'T LOOK LIKE PUDDING YOU FUCKING LOWLIFE HACK

:)))

[erwinsprincess]

mine, always and forever: chapter 3

characters: OC (female, y/n, she/her) x Commander Erwin Smith

warning: this story will contain 18+ elements including but not limited to childhood trauma, age-gap, power dynamics, graphic sexual content, substance abuse, self-harm, death/violence/blood, and language (more in depth tags will be at the beginning of each chapter if need be)

aot semi-cannonverse (takes place in aot universe but I am taking some artistic liberties with timelines, characters, world politics, and happenings)

plot: (y/n) is a young (female, she/her) cadet (22 y/o) with a complicated past. escaping from a life of meaningless pleasures in a foreign land, y/n hopes to make a difference by giving her heart as a member of the scout regiment. with only her brothers by her side, she steps into a world of uncertainty. upon integrating herself within her rank, y/n meets a man that would flip everything she knows about herself upside down... and she likes it.

author's note: this story is my own personal delusion about meeting and falling in love with Commander Erwin if I was in the aot verse. therefore, the character is loosely based on my life experience and self-image. however, it is my hope that all of you will see something of yourself in the MC and all of you Erwin-loving baddies will enjoy our blondie in a new story. I am also new to Tumblr and it seems there are endless things I must learn, so feel free to kindly correct me if I fail to add something to my posts that is necessary for your reading enjoyment.

..............................................................................................................................

"y/n can you please take Ava? She won't stop crying."

You gently take the crying baby from Sasha's stressed out hands. You chuckle, looking down at the 3-month old baby.

Ever since your volunteer service started, Sasha, Mikasa, Armin, and a few other soldiers have really been struggling with caretaking of the children in the orphanage. It was surprising how few of them had actually been around children before, let alone been tasked to take care of them. You had always loved children, and in fact that was the primary reason you wanted to become a doctor in the first place. Assisting the doctor in your village from a young age had taught you so much. Dr. Kopylov was a friend of your father's, who always let you assist him in patient encounters and small procedures. He called you his "young prodigy". You especially took a liking to the care of mothers and children. You learned so much under Dr. K.

That is until your stepfather put an end to your apprenticeship due to his "other plans" for you.

Every soldier must volunteer 100 hours in their first year of service. Most chose the soup kitchen, hospital sanitation, and extra security gigs because they were easy. Your poor friends had been convinced, by you, to help you at the orphanage.

You begin to gently rock the crying babe in your arms, cooing at her to hopefully settle her. You remembered a song your mother used to sing to you when you were upset. It couldn't hurt to try. You began to softly sing to Ava as you swayed and patted her back.

"You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine.

You make me happy, when skies are grey.

You'll never know dear, how much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away."

You heard a knock at the divided door, and ignored the sound as Mrs. Agnes, the head mother of the orphanage went to open the door. The door was quite genius actually. The top half could be opened while the bottom stayed closed, so adults could speak without children running out. Mrs. Agnes was an old and brittle woman with a still fiery personality and you loved her with all of your heart. She was so good with the children despite being so elderly.

You continued to hold Ava in your arms and sing to her as Mrs. Agnes answered the door.

"Miss Y/N?" Mrs. Agnes' sweet voice called to you. You turned around still gently swaying with the baby, who was now asleep, in your arms. Your eyes were drawn to the figure, whose form took up almost the entire door frame. Your heart began to pound in your chest.

"Hello, Y/N"

Good Lord above. How was one man so breathtaking?

"Hello, Commander Erwin. What brings you here today?" You asked in a lofty voice.

The way his eyes traveled from the sleeping baby in your arms to your face, caused you to feel weak in the knees. What was he thinking? His face was nearly unreadable apart from what you perceived as a sort of longing in his eyes. His smile grew across his face as he said, "I tend to drop in on volunteer locations to make sure my soldiers are working hard and not slacking. Plus, it's nice to get out of the office some." You walked toward the door where Mrs. Agnes and the commander stood.

"The others are certainly hard at work. The children keep them busy." you said gesturing to where Sasha and Armin were being chased by two little boys with paper swords.

Out of the corner of your eye, a flash of red curls appeared right next to you. A spunky 7 year old named Heidi looked up at you through bright blue eyes, and then to the Commander, and then back to you.

"Miss Y/N, is he your boyfriend?" pointing directly at the "he" in question.

Your cheeks burned as you tried to save face in front of your commanding officer. "No, silly girl, he's not my boyfriend." You said laughing, hoping to play it off. "Now go chase Miss Sasha, she likes being chased." You turned back to see the two sharing amused glances at you.

"Oh Commander, Miss Y/N is a natural." Mrs. Agnes started, resting a wrinkled hand on his arm. "She is going to be a wonderful mother someday. All of the children love her, and other than me, she is the only one that can get the infants to settle. She sings to them, you know." she finished turning to you, a smile painted on her sweet face.

The Commander looked at you again, and this time you could read his expression: a sort of adoration. Your stomach folded in on itself and your knees threatened to buckle. "I'm so glad to hear that my soldiers are doing satisfactory work here." he turned back to Mrs. Agnes. "Do you mind if I speak with my soldiers for just a minute, I need to deliver some news."

As the others gathered, nerves started to set in. Why was he here, and what news would he have to deliver so urgently?

"As you know the 57th expedition outside the walls is scheduled for late next month. Unfortunately, we must push the mission up to two weeks from today." He has to be joking.

Silent glances were exchanged between peers. He continued.

"Due to circumstances out of our control, the powers that be will not renew funding beyond this month due to the election in the fall. The only way we could ensure that this mission happens before winter, is by expediting it. I know this is unsettling, but I will explain more later. Tonight after dinner, I need every solider at an emergency meeting in the courtyard." he finished.

"Yes sir." we all said in uncertain unison.

..............................................................................................................................

It was in fact, not a joke.

Two weeks came and went from the time the Commander delivered the news that day. Your training had intensified in order to expedite the readiness of the first-timers. Numerous meetings to discuss the long-range scouting formations had occurred over the past few weeks as well, to the point where you dreamed about the formation and you could recite where each group would be verbatim.

That morning, your brothers met you near the stables.

"I guess we should at least discuss the elephant in the room." Nik said gloomily. "That today could be the last time we see each other."

Your eyes filled with tears as you rested your head on Misha's shoulder, grabbing his hand.

"Yo, I’m not worried. We are all fucking good at what we do.” Alexei's arrogant voice bringing you indescribable comfort. You smiled at him as Misha exhaled an exasperated sigh. “Brother, we are not going to say goodbye to each other today.”

"We don't have to say goodbye," Nik paused. "but I do want to let you guys know that I am so grateful for you guys. My life would be absolutely pointless without you. I love you guys."

"Awwww, sibling hug." Alexei sang as he pulled us all in, Misha groaned, hesitant to get that close to his brothers. He loves the three of us more than anyone else in the world, but close physical contact was not his thing.

Riding your horse slowly toward the gate to the outer walls, you were silently praying for the safety of your fellow soldiers.

“Hey. Y/N. Psssst.” You heard from just behind you. Connie.

“What Connie?” You asked annoyed. Not because you don’t love Connie, but anytime he uses the sound “pssst” in his sentence, it is clear the following question or request is going to be absolutely ridiculous.

“Did you really have cars in your home country? And like electric lights?” He asked. You whipped your head towards him and the look on your face said “How do you know that?”

It’s true. Your home country and every other country for that matter was way ahead of Paradis. It had been an adjustment traveling by horse and lighting candles. You had gotten used to washing dishes by hand during chores time and you kept telling yourself you needed to learn to bake your own bread because most women here did.

“Yeah. We did. I had a car I bought myself. It was light blue with a cream roof. It was big enough for several people. It had a small, silver Bronco horse decal on the front. It sits at my mom’s house in my home country. Electricity is nice too, but to be honest, I don’t miss it that much.” You explained. “Life is simpler here. People are happier, believe it or not.”

Satisfied with your answer Connie smiled mischievously and added, “Alexei told me that they sell magazines with pictures of naked ladies in them.” Hiding your horror with amusement you punched him in the arm. “Gross Connie don’t say that.” You shared a laugh with your unhinged friend. What all did Alexei tell the other boys about?

You glanced over to Eren, your friend who was actually a little more than a friend. Or was he just a cute boy you happened to hook up with every now and again? That night after the ceremony where you pledged your hearts to the Scout Regiment and humanity, your circle of friends all went to the tavern for drinks. The night ended with you and Eren stumbling to a secluded corner of the tavern. Your hands had been all over each other all night, something was bound to happen. Since then, you had multiple little rendezvous to kiss and do some other naughty things, but never would you go all the way. To Eren’s annoyance, you would decline sex every time, but only you knew it was because you were still a virgin.

“Fuck. I’m going to die a virgin.” You thought to yourself as you looked at the massive gate in front of you. Why was that at the front of your mind at a time like this?

Silence fell over everyone in the cavalry, apart from Levi scolding Hange for being a little too excited.

Hange was one of your favorite superiors, she was basically the drunk aunt who doesn’t actually drink. Hange also happened to be the only person you confided in about your feelings for the Commander. Despite the absolutely inappropriate nature of your feelings for him due to the power differential, you trusted Hange to be someone you could be honest with. I mean, you had to tell someone. It was becoming torturous to keep it to yourself and Hange had been so open and receptive to hearing your feelings. The best part was that she didn’t discourage your feelings at all and had, in her own special way of speaking, remarked that “your babies would be absolutely gorgeous.” You had blushed at the idea and smacked her arm. Would you ever actually get the chance to tell the commander how you felt? Or would you die today and that would be the end of everything?

“Soldiers, let the 57th Expedition outside of the walls, commence!” The familiar voice boomed as the gate rose and you caught your first glimpse of the outside world in quite a long time. The cavalry began to move and as soon as you reached beyond the gate, commands by section leaders could be heard all around you. You followed Levi and Petra with Misha, Jean, Sasha, and a few others.

Living within the walls, it is easy to forget that the world beyond them is so vast, almost endless. You remembered your home country, a brutal environment for those who were not accustomed and you admired how the weather here was mild and pleasant. Most days were sunny, favorable, and tame. The vast blue sky stretched overhead was relatively without a cloud. You felt comfort knowing that no matter where you were, you lived under the same sky as your brothers, your mother, and the person who had become the sister you never had, Sasha.

Misha’s horse kept pace with yours. Glancing over, you smiled and said a silent prayer. Things would be fine. This was only a scouting mission to find a path to Shiganshina and the real thing would happen the following year. The stakes were “low” but the government was tired of funding failing missions and you could read on the Commander’s face how tired he was of pleading a losing case. He had a dream, and he had shared it with all of you. This was his life’s ultimate goal, and you only wanted to be a part in him realizing that goal.

Hours later, your squad was scheduled to converge with Erwin squad and Miche squad. It had been two hours since the undertaking began. You had seen several titans, but none that had posed a severe threat. However, it was jarring to see that humanoid figure with lifeless eyes ambling towards your, now spaced out squad. Captain Levi had taken out most of the threats.

In the distance, a flare was fired.

Black smoke.

An abnormal.

Another flare rang out.

Black smoke yet again. This time closer.

Your hands became clammy, your chest tightened, and your entire body was racked with fear. “Remember your training, you are strong, you are not going to die out here.” You tell yourself. Deciding you need to work your way closer to your squad, you look around for the closest soldier in your vision. You checked your ODM gear as you prepared yourself for the reality that you may have to fight.

A scream so unbearable rang out into the open plain, it caused you to pull back on your reins and stop your horse dead in its tracks. Looking to where the scream emanated, your eyes met an unimaginable sight. Your heart felt as though it had stopped beating, as if it could just rip apart into a million pieces, your eyes filled with tears that completely clouded your vision, and every ounce of executive function that you could have had, left your body. You were frozen at the sight before you, a mere 100 yards away.

“L/N!”

You faintly heard a yell for your name from behind you. It was Captain Levi. You couldn’t pull your eyes away from the sight before you.

“L/N! Get moving!”

The last thing you heard before you were impacted with the force of a car crash. You were flung from your horse, hitting the ground and knocking the wind from your lungs. You knew you had broken ribs. Suddenly, you were enveloped by a cold hand, being lifted from the ground as you screamed at the sight you still could not take your eyes away from. A crushing pain wrapped around your body, you accepted that this was it, and you had failed. So much for giving your heart. You barely did anything beyond riding your horse for a few hours, you hadn’t given anything to humanity. Such a waste.

Blood splattered from behind you as you felt yourself falling back to the cruel, hard ground. On instinct you began to run, with no plan in mind for what you would do when you arrived to your destination.

“L/N! Get the hell back here!”

Captain Levi again. You would be paying for this insubordination if you survived the mission.

Every ounce of hope eddied from your mind. The abnormal titan before you, carried its prey to its mouth and bit down on the lower half of their body. Another scream that rattled your insides. You felt like throwing up, and for a reason you couldn’t work out in your head, you kept running towards it. You pulled a blade from your sheath, readying to get your revenge when, as if by divine intervention, the titans neck was cut from behind and the gargantuan abomination fell to its knees, then to it’s face, dropping the torso of its victim.

Your legs threatened to give out, blood started to stain your hands as you coughed, mixing with the tears you cried as you ran towards the titans victim. Falling to your knees, you put your hands on the now lifeless face.

“Misha… Misha please!” You cried out. “Please Misha please don’t leave me. Misha I love you!”

It was useless. His once beautiful hazel eyes, now bloodshot looked to the sky, unmoving. You sobbed, your cheek to his. Every part of your body shook and you were purely numb. You pulled yourself up as the other squads could be heard in the distance, making their way to you. You screamed at the unimaginable pain you felt at the loss of your brother. Your hands shook as you ran them over his face and through his hair, you couldn’t take your eyes away from him. There were other people around you, but you couldn’t hear anything.

A cart pulled up and two men came to retrieve Misha’s body. You held onto him and protested that they take him. Still crying and coughing up blood, your own injuries were still not apparent to you. Two firm hands pulled you from your knees and you fought against them to no avail. You watched as the two men wrapped up Misha’s torso, and hoisted him onto the cart carrying several other casualties.

The two hands spun you around to a serious, somber face. Commander Erwin. Face and shirt flecked with blood and sweat gluing his usually perfect hair to his forehead.

“Y/N. We have to go back.”

You protested. Not even in your right mind. “But the mission we haven’t even completed it.” Tears still streaming down your face.

“It’s over. Y/N. We failed.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

[dootznbootz]

Just wanted to say I really love y'all 🥺 Like genuinely. Some of you are more shy/quiet than others but even then, with all your posts and tags and tidbits you can see so much warmth and love in all you create. I genuinely wish I could send all of you sweets and soups and braid your hair (even if you're bald, we'll figure something out. I got you, homie ❤) Even if I only know you at surface level, I love you.

I've had tumblr for a VERY long time but I was always so goddamn shy about it (was deeply afraid of "haters" and "trolls" and I had a weird fear that I would get jumped for even SPEAKING online. I didn't grow up in the most "techy environment" lol. I had my DSi growing up and that was it.) and only recently started to say stuff and people are just so sweet??? And kind??? AND SILLY??!?! I'm making friends!!! And it's kind of funny because when I encountered one "troll" I was just mad and blocked them. All afraid for nothing!!! :D People are really sweet!

Also even if you've unfollowed me and we're no longer mutuals, know I still care about you! I absolutely understand. I am multifandom and I know that not everyone wants so much of...EVERYTHING on their dash. And I know that sometimes people can follow out of excitement, not realizing the chaos they are signing up for. I'm not hurt by the unfollow and we can definitely still be friends!

Also heads up, I tend to call people "dude", "my guy/my friend" and the like. Also, know if I'm calling you a dingus/goober/dummy/etc. know it's a joke and for me, it's kind of a friendship term of endearment. Just what I grew up with. "Teasing" is a show of love for me. (I have 3 older brothers and grew up in the countryside. It's just what happens) Always feel free to ask me to stop!

[nacricissa]

9 people you want to know better

Huge thanks to @squarebracket-trick for tagging me with only small amounts of sarcasm per my request to be included in the fun!

Currently Reading: The Code Breaker: Jennifer Doudna, Gene Editing and the Future of the Human Race, by Walter Isaacson. I think this is the same book I was reading the last time I was tagged in this game. I read nonfiction slowly.

Last song I listened to: Spotify seems to believe it was The Chain by Fleetwood Mac and I have no evidence to contradict that.

Currently Watching: I am on Season 8 of Smallville, which I have been thoroughly enjoying. It is very strange to watch TV from that era though, because the way computers are treated is truly hilariously wrong.

Current Fic I'm reading: I love that this implies I could stop reading in the middle of a fic. I woke up at 1:30 pm today because last night I finished reading Light As A Feather (Heavy As The Burden I Carry) by @havenoffandoms and @creativwit. It's heavy reading (ED TW), but masterfully done.

Current Obsession: I have made an infinite mana deck in standard (uh I play Magic: The Gathering, if you don't, apologies for the seemingly random set of words I'm about to spew). It's an Agatha's Soul Cauldron deck (Sleep-cursed faerie+ Kami of Whispered Hopes) though it's easier to assemble the win using Patchwork Crawler, even though it's more mana intensive because then you can search all the parts with Fauna Shaman. The win is with Triskadecaphile, either on board drawing to the alternate win con, or if you have an untappable Fauna Shaman, you can search for Ulvenwald Oddity with the first creature you draw, then transform it to give everything haste and win with combat damage on the spot. The interaction package is mostly creatures because Fauna Shaman, Malevolent Hermit, Tishana's Tidebinder and Colossal Skyturtle. Tishana's is especially useful when trying to win when an opponent has Sheoldred on board, you can Fauna Shaman it up if you draw a creature before you run out of life.

Favourite Colour: Lavender and Indigo. Really, the colour scheme of my pfp is my favourite colours, I had it comissioned for a reason.

Spicy, Sweet, Savory or Salty: Big fan of the savory.

Relationship Status: Not really looking for romance, in QPR with best friend.

Last thing I googled: Well now it's the fic I read last night cause I wanted to find the link, uh before that? I was trying to find this post, as if search is an effective way to locate things you're looking for on Tumblr.

Song stuck in my head: Well now it's Mr Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra because while looking for the post to link for the last question I saw a post that contained the lyrics... Before that probably John Williams is the Man.

Favourite Food: It's a one-pan thing with chicken, broccoli, red peppers, minute rice and a sauce made of brocoli cheese soup and chicken broth. It takes maybe fifteen minutes to cook after you've cut everything up, it's good hot or cold, it reheats well, truly a masterful thing and I only have to wash one pan when I'm done!

Dream Trip: I intend to tour Cascadia with my best friend. We might even go to visit the Quileute reserve (that beach looks great) give them the tourism bucks they deserve for having their legends taxidermized like that.

Tagging @magic-is-something-we-create, @lesorciercanadien, @neural-cactus-is-lonely, @bargainbincheese, @wonder-stuck, @chauceryfairytales, @a-had-matter, @threebooksoneplot and @mk-writes-stuff if you'd care to answer some or all of these questions about your fine selves.

[just-jordie-things]

I’m honestly trying to find someone to give me some insight / confirmation the whole jjk fandom isn’t like this because I’m genuinely so disheartened.

So I have a friend who lives in Japan I met online who goes to lots of conventions. She told me that gojo has been confirmed straight by the creator Gege in multiple magazines and interviews in Japan. After I was told that I did toms of research and saw proof that was true.

I’m someone who likes to follow canon simply because I like facts and like to be respectful to the authors creation. Obviously he people want to headcanon that’s fine! I just like following canon.

Earlier today I made a theory post about something which I briefly brought up gojo being confirmed straight and sited my sources (it wasn’t even the MAIN point of the theory. It was a part of it but not the main focus)

IMMEDIATELY after , like 10 minutes my inbox was SWARMED. I had people calling me homophobic (when I’m in the community) a piece of shit, I disappointment. I got told to off myself. My favorite fanfiction blog with a BIG following dmed me to delete my account and to shut up.

All because I said Gege confirmed Gojo to be straight in canon with sourced proof.

I really really don’t feel well after this? For one my favorite blog dming me that was upsetting, people telling me to kill myself also upsetting.

I don’t even understand why though?

Like the proof of Gojo being confirmed straight is on Twitter with magazine translation from Japan where Gege said it. It’s been said in more than one interview with Gege.

So why are people so mad about it if it’s canon?

As I said head canons are fine feel free to make them.. but sending death threats to people like me who follow canon is just crazy?

Now I feel like leaving the fandom and tumblr. Like this is crazy.

As someone who follows canon I follow Gojo being a straight man as that is what Gege has confirmed in multiple interviews.

Gojo is straight in canon that’s what Gege confirmed that’s what I follow.

But why am I getting death threats for that? What’s wrong with canon?

I just don’t get it and honestly it’s really just made me not like this fandom and I wish someone would explain what I did wrong by following canon and linking sources to prove it- I’m just confused

for starters, i am so sorry for the hate that you received. it is never ok to send someone death threats/tell them to kys. it's ok to have differing opinions, it's ok to debate and argue (granted ofc you're allowed to delete/ignore messages if you want, you're not obligated to explain yourself to anyone), but if you can't do that respectfully then you must be too young to be on this app. period.

i'm sorry you had that experience. everyone's allowed their own opinions. whether it involves headcanoning or following canon, everyone's entitled to feel the way they want. at the end of the day, they're fictional characters. personally i love satosugu. i think their story is so angsty and complicated and fascinating. do i care if someone has a differing ship? no. ofc i don't. it's a fictional character. i go about my day like an adult.

obviously i'm getting one half of the situation here so i won't speak to why people were calling you homophobic, if you were just providing sources i don't see the big deal. but (i am also a member of the alphabet soup) i know how it feels to be questioned and prodded at for my (a real life person!) sexuality, and my instinct is to get defensive to protect myself and my peace. i might be making leaps there... i'm just trying to relate that in real life, it's easy for people to spread homophobic rhetoric without realizing that's what they're doing.. you know? (ie: i'm bi and my partner and i are het presenting. i get an earful from toxic family all the time. 'are you sure?' 'if you marry him, aren't you straight now?' etc etc. i'm sure you get the gist)

i'm not trying to say that's what you were doing. again, i've only got half of the picture here.

and again, you should not have received the treatment you did. it was immature and cruel.

i hope i articulated this well. feel free to ask any questions if i confused you. <3

[strobarium]

erin's thoughts on "paper angel."

the first post on the strobarium! how nice. (SPOILERS AHEAD.)

(eyestraining colors ahoy, dereality-type stuff is mentioned)

youtube recommended me a video i really, really enjoy by this youtuber named Mara. it's well over an hour long and she talks a lot about her experiences with outsider art and mixed media, among other things. its worth a watch if you do like long-winded video essays about...STUFF. i guess

thats only partially relevant, though. i bring the video up because within it, she talks about the game in question today, briefly. the visuals struck a chord with me, and the seemingly abstract narrative being more or less promoted my way was very intriguing and had me interested in getting my hands on it.

you already picked up the title from the title of the post but i like using big font!

"Paper Angel," by Slitherbop.

(love that title screen, wow.)

Slitherbop, or, Slither, is a 25-year old surrealist illustrator based in Sasketchewan, Canada, from what his Neocities homepage states. he has an absolute ton of really colorful and trippy art spread out across several pages, but i feel the most of them you'd find on his tumblr page. i'd recommend looking into if you're...well i mean if you're even READING THIS you're prob into the same type shit i be on, yeah. lol. anyway,

Slither has OCs. (commonplace amongst contemporary illustrators online, if you've noticed) One of them, is the focus of the game i'm going to write a lot about.

Spinwhim! (they/them)

(god, look at them.)

taken from Slither's toyhou.se (toyhou.se is more or less an original character database tool that illustrators like to use, a lot, to log their OCs and stuff)

"Spinwhim is a powerful healer and grand storyteller. They’re very kind, outgoing, and wacky. They like to travel all around to help others. Their intense curiosity and passion makes them meddlesome. They can focus and see the world on a cellular level, which is utilized in healing and creating. Good :-)"

they, are more or less the focal point of the entire visual novel. it's a treat that they are, their design is great (much as it does change over the course of the game,) and i generally do like their demeanor and how they interact with me, the player.

speaking of the player, i don't really know who i play as! it's a blank-slate type deal. i speak very vaguely and generally i think im depicted as rather confused seeming/"out-of-it."

competent enough to prepare soup for an ill spinwhim though. OH right. plot stuff. i should get into that-

...well, actually the plot's not really super complex. you're there with spinwhim in this house within this elaborately colorful world and you're essentially nursing them back to health. its said in game you spend about a week with them.

...

i didn't even get to experience the whole week but i just. i have this incredible draw towards them.

it's not really a surprise to me that any motherly (well, or even fatherly) figure with this type of benevolent, reassuring and friendly aura just resonates with me: as i kind of allude to in the preface, i've had familial...struggles in the past and i more or less continue to, especially as it relates to how i feel about my biological parents. its complex and i don't think i could really get into it fully no matter the medium, idk.

spinwhim is just nice to experience speaking to me even if it is confined to the limitations of a RPG Maker VX Ace-created visual novel. (shoutout RPG Maker also, wow, interactive outsider art people love this program a lot i have learned LOL.) as i'm taking care of them, they note how good of a job i'm doing, and even how helpful i've been to the recovery process they're going through relating to the unknown illness they have. i'm even just complimented in general regarding my demeanor and whatnot... i really do wish they were someone i could come to for comfort like i do a fair amnt of my friends, or romantic partners. it would be nice.

what, really sealed the deal, was the twist.

after seemingly, fully recovering from their illness, they're up and at it and in a different fit than normal, to boot. they say they cleared a path to head into town (the whole duration of the game, some apparently severe snowy weather was hitting your gen. location) and that they're excited to go.

they ask me if i want to come with.

so, OF FUCKING COURSE i hit go with. lol

after expressing excitement that i actually did want to go with, they ask me to come closer.

they recount how horrible it was living the way they were, prior. that their head was "caving in" and that they were "boiling" and "lethargic." sounds pretty tough. but after that, they hit me with this revelation:

i was... CREATED???

(the actual verbiage and whatnot they use to talk about everything from this point forward is genuinely just breathtaking also as a side note)

it especially explains the demeanor they've had toward me throughout the game, like i kinda said earlier, very motherly overall. i felt loved. it was sincerely nice. but then it gets even more emotional frm there for me...they say this:

"When I say I want you to come with me, I mean I want to absorb you back into me. You will be returning from where you came. Your thoughts will be my thoughts again, and it will be like a dream to me. It will be wonderful…"

was given a choice.

ONCE AGAIN. OF FUCKING COURSE I HIT YES.

this part just made me tear up a little-the response i got:

"Oh, my beautiful apple. You will no longer live in this confusion of yours. You will be safe."

i basically immediately realized what was happening to me and why it was hitting me so damn hard.

...

it's basically no secret at this point (i make sure its not) that i'm, dissociative. to the extent i fucking formed 10+ people in my head about it. lol. that being said, i'm all-too familiar with what it's like to just be, broken, split apart, fractured.

Its Not Great !

i lucked out, with my system. (there's a lot to it but this dissociative disorder shit can REALLY BE TOUGH depending on a lot of circumstances. well its tough Already, but yeah) i only (at the time of writing) deal with one alter who more or less has it out for me, and the rest of us. that makes it so that i have pretty much 12 additional friends just kind of in my noggin at every given moment. it's pretty cool-things are even such a way regarding how we work that they can just talk to me and my friends rather fluidly. it can result in a lot of shenanigans.

but the road to which led them all to forming was fucking crazy and shitty. i won't go into details i guess here but dissociative disorders are most of the time traumagenic, to give you an idea. its not great, as i said earlier. theres just a lot to OSDD that i don't like, the memory issues i regularly have come to mind, along with me feeling detached from the world, other things. blegh.

that considered along with , complex (negative) feelings abt family shit considered it's probably just, obvious as hell why this scene resonates with me so much.

(had this revelation while getting screenshots for this post but the character they're hugging which i can only assume is the player looks alarmingly like one of my oldest sonas. made everything hit a lil harder for me)

i feel like a broken soul. and i yearn to be whole, again.

i don't think i would have taken up this oppurtunity irl if i was granted it given how much i do enjoy about being my own person who does things and whatnot but the thought lingers. getting to live it out to some degree thru this lil mini interactive artpiece just proved very therapeutic to me. i discovered it very early in the morning, and didnt really talk to anyone about it until after i experienced it. going through all of that solitarily, in my blue-lit room (thank you phillips for the hue bulb. Lol) just did a lot for me. i'm very, very thankful.

(should also note the same day i played the game i also took a phone call frm my mom and we talked about life stuff. it kinda hurt. to quote frm a more primitive form of this writeup "she used to bring me great comfort in my youth, during times i really needed it. complex feelings have led to a rift between us, that she can't even see. that i don't even, know if i want her to see." kinda says everything ig)

it was a nice escape from everything i'm generally going through at the moment, broadly. the process of recovery has proven to be fucking insane and full of all sorts of surprises on top of a very unpleasant yet expected amount of moments ive been faced with my absolutely, less pleasant qualities to my personality and bad habits and such. it sucks, but im at least...well i like to THINK im at least angled toward being better about shit but i don't know. i'm still learning. it's tough and i know i'm not alone when it comes to CPTSD recovery or dissociative disorder coping or bipolar disorder coping or whatever the hell else, but it really just, feels cold and solitary a lot of the time regardless. it's tough. it really is tough.

im just glad i found this little game. any sort of respite that appeals to me to that degree is just very appreciated.

i almost thought it was some strange divine shit going down in my life that led me to even stumbling upon it, the way it hit me. didn't lead to any i guess new revelations about my life or whatever, which is fine!

but. i liked it. it's nice.

i'm grateful. :)

slitherbop, if you're reading this, thank you. sincerely. from the bottom of my heart.

also plz more acid glitch parenting moment's plz (lol)

~ E.K.S.G.

[fangirlshrewt97]

My Best Friend and My Brother

Ok this was partially inspired by a Tumblr post, but mostly came together in my head intended to be one thing, but the final piece turned out different than what I anticipated. I am also not super confident in how ...sensical ? this fic might be, so let me know your thoughts.

An attempt at Jai (Jai Lava Kusa) x Harsha (Magadeera)

///

"I can't believe you never told me you had such a hot brother." Harsha murmured to Lava from where they were eating their evening snack. Lava had invited his old friend to Annayya's mansion once Kusa and he had decided to stay here on a more permanent basis.

"Well I didn't even realize he was alive-" Lava froze with his samosa midway to his mouth. "Did you just say hot?"

Harsha tilted his head at him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Yeah? Look at him. He's freaking sexy."

Lava gaped at Harsha, opening and closing his mouth several times, but no words would come out.

"What?" Harsha asked defensively.

Lava sputtered, "He's, I'm...He's my twin brother!"

Harsha shrugged. "Only in appearance. I love you Lava but your ... um…vibe? It's the type to scream that if someone poured soup on your lap, you'd apologize to them. Him on the other hand..." Harsha turned to look in Annayya's direction with sultry eyes. “I’d love to get to know him more. And I think he feels the same.”

Lava punched his shoulder softly.

"Hey!" Harsha said as he rubbed the spot.

"Stop that. I just. You can't. You-" Lava's brain was still trying to process the situation. And failing miserably.

Harsha pouted at him. "Does he already have someone?"

Lava shook his head.

"Does he only like girls?"

"I-I'm not sure." Lava admitted hesitatingly.

Harsha brightened, a determined look in his eyes. Lava grabbed his forearm, gripping it tight. "Harsha, please. I just -"

Harsha's eyes flashed. "What is it, Lava? Is it that I'm also a guy? I know we don't really talk about it but like. I am not going to force myself on your brother you know."

"No!" Lava shouted quietly, lowering his voice to avoid drawing the attention of his brother's...henchmen. "No! It's not that, Harsha it doesn't bother me, I promise! You’re my best friend, you know I don’t care about that stuff."

"Then what man?" Harsha asked, arms crossed over his chest.

Lava bit his lip, thankful that Jai hadn't looked their way yet. 

"He's ... He's dangerous. He has a temper.I don’t want you to get tangled in his mess, or get hurt."

Harsha rolled his eyes. "I'm a big boy Lava, I can take care of myself."

And before Lava could reply, he was up and walking towards Jai, a distinct sway to his hips. Lava watched him go with wide eyes, hand still outstretched towards him. Lava didn’t miss the way Jai’s gaze slid to Harsha immediately, or how he stopped talking to watch his friend approach. Oh devuda, please let there be no bloodshed.

"Yo! Why didn't you tell me there were samosas!" Kusa's voice came from behind him. Lava managed to tear his gaze away from his friend to see his brother stuffing the second samosa on his plate down his throat.

Lava's lips pinched in disapproval, only to be met with a playful wink.

Lava turned back to see Harsha had reached Jai. He whimpered.

"What's your friend doing?" Kusa asked as he stood up to turn the chair around before sitting again, this time folding his hands over the back of the chair and resting his chin there.

"He... he's asking Annayya out." Lava said faintly.

Kusa guffawed loudly, only for it to morph into shock when Lava turned to him despairingly. "You're serious? Is your friend suicidal?"

Lava hit his brother's thigh. "Kusa! I'm worried."

"You should be. Annayya is going to tear him to pieces, look!"

Lava shipped his head around so fast he heard a snap. Jai had stood up and was chest to chest with Harsha, towering over him. Harsha did not look worried at all.

Lava clenched his fist tightly, until Kusa yelped at him to remove his hand.

"You know your friend could have asked me on a date if he just wanted adventure." Kusa said through a mouth full of food.

"Even I would pick Annayya over you." Lava answered absentmindedly. "Ow!"

Kusa was glaring at him, and Lava glared right back. "Why did you pinch me?"

"Oh, because you're such a catch are you?" Kusa retorted.

Lava's eyes twitched as he forced himself to take a calming breath. No one ever riled him like Kusa. It was infuriating, because it was exactly what the other man wanted and Lava hated how easily he fell into his brother's trap.

"Will you just help me?" He asked urgently.

"Help with what? Rescue? Or search and recovery?" Kusa bit back.

"Who are you recovering?" Harsha's voice interrupted.

Both men jumped and looked at the young man with astonishment.

"He lives." Kusa said to no one in particular.

Harsha raised an eyebrow at him before turning to Lava and smiling wolfishly. "I told you I'd be fine."

"What-what happened?" Lava asked.

"He said yes."

"WHAT?" Both brother exclaimed simultaneously before swiveling to look at their eldest. Who was looking back at them. Or, rather, at Harsha's back.

Even from the distance they could make out their brother was ... enthralled by him.

Their eyes were the size of dining plates when they turned back to Harsha. He threw them another cheeky, grabbing the last samosa from the plate before walking away. He was definitely putting an exaggerated sway to his hips.

That is, until he reached the doorway, where he paused to throw a wink at Jai over his shoulder.

Kusa choked slightly, and Lava flicked his ear hard. "Stop it!"

"That hurt!" Kusa swore as he rubbed at his ear. “Also, he’s your friend so you can’t ogle at him. I however-”

Lava flicked him again, returning his glare in equal strength. 

"It was supposed to hurt." Lava hissed.

Suddenly a shadow fell over their table. Both brothers gulped before looking up their brother in sync.

Jai seemed to be giving off a more threatening air than usual. Lava was half certain his heart would jump out of his chest and run away.

"Jai! So good of you to join us! We were just having samosas, do you want some? I can ask the cook to-" Jai cut off Kusa's rambling with a raised eyebrow and glare.

He turned to pin Lava with his gaze. Lava whimpered. "Can I help you Annayya?"

The silence seemed to drag on forever, and Lava felt each nerve light up as a drop of sweat rolled from his forehead down his face, his neck, his collarbones before finally disappearing inside his shirt. Jai's stare felt hotter than the midday sun they were sitting under.

"What does Harsha like?" He finally spoke.

Lava's thoughts screeched to a halt. His breath may have too.

"...huh?"

Jai leaned forward to wrap a hand around the back of Lava's chair. Lava squeaked.

"He has a huge sweet tooth. And loves biriyani. Dogs. Action movies. The color red. Um, and… and dancing! He loves clubs."

From the corner of his eye, he could see Kusa looking at him like he had lost his mind. Lava wouldn't argue against that notion.

Jai's gaze seemed to bore into him, as though to confirm he was actually telling the truth. He must have been satisfied because after a minute he leaned back, giving them a curt nod before walking away. He disappearing into the mansion, trailed by a stunned looking Kaakha.

"Holy shit." Kusa swore softly.

Lava keened as he collapsed against the chair, sliding half way to the floor. "I thought I was going to die."

"What just happened?"

Both brothers looked at each other, astonishment coloring both their faces.

"Did...did Annayya just ask you for ideas about dates?" Kusa said.

Lava's eyes widened.

A slow but feral grin took over Kusa's face. "This is the best day ever. Where's Harsha?"

Lava looked panic stricken.  ”Why?”

“I want to know what he said to Jai! I mean come on, Jai is captivated! I want to know this guy better! That way we can guarantee Annayya seduces him!”

Lava grimaced. “This feels like a recipe for disaster.”

Kusa threw a used tissue paper at him. “Come on Lava! You are always the one pushing for us to do nice things for Annayya! Now that we have a chance of possibly setting him up with someone he likes and could maybe have a relationship with, you are backing away?”

“I-” Lava had to conceed the point to Kusa.  For all his apprehensions, Harsha was very clever and also knew how to fight. And if Annayya had really been angry about Harsha’s …proposition, Annayya would not have asked him about what Harsha enjoyed.

Kusa looked at him with eager eyes.

Lava sighed, rubbing his face, praying that this would not blow up in their faces.

“Okay. Let’s help Annayya,” and dear god, this was painful, this was Lava’s friend they were talking about. “seduce Harsha.”

Kusa whooped as he jumped up from the table, grabbing Kusa by the upper arm. “Let’s go!”

In the recesses of his brain which weren’t still clouded by fear of Annayya, Lava thought that Harsha might actually be a great match for his brother.

///

Man, my comedy stuff sounds way funnier in my head than on paper...

@rambheem-is-real @budugu @bromance-minus-the-b @hissterical-nyaan @obsessedtoafault @hufhkbgg @yehsahihai @rorapostsbl @fadedscarlets @alikokinav @chaotic-moonlight @rambheemisgoated @rambheemlove @jaganmaya @burningsheepcrown @lovingperfectionwonderland @rosayounan @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @thewinchestergirl1208 @dumdaradumdaradum @ronaldofandom @jjwolfesworld @jrntrtitties @kashpaymentsonly @jeonmahi1864 @zackcrazyvalentine @stanleykubricks @tulodiscord @teddybat24 @sally-for-sally @jadebomani @stuckyandlarrystuff @veteran-fanperson @ohfuckoffpls  @carminavulcana @boochhaan @doodlesofthelastpage @filesbeorganized @meownique @ssabriel @meastradeur @ronika-writes-stuff @umbrulla @ladydarkey

[atimelesslullaby]

Meet the Mun

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

Oh, goodness. In 2013 This actually started out as a Twilight Princess Zelda with some friends, who I parted ways with on not so friendly terms. Then it was an OoT Zelda in a group, before November 2014 when I turned her indie. I've loved OoT Zelda since I was young, at first, it was solely for her beauty. As I grew older, and began to understand her character, I only loved her more.

some past urls have been: 'greaterlight' - 'magickick' - 'sagexftime'

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

Smut. I will not write it, even though we're both of age. Anything of the like will strictly be fade to black. Nothing against those who enjoy writing it, and I'm not sex repulsed. It's just not my thing.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

I do like action, though I rarely get to write it. I also want to explore her extreme guilt for what happened. Let's be real, the events of OoT happened because *she* decided her dream was prophecy, and set the gears turning. It was, as she even says herself, all her fault. I feel like she's one of the most flawed Zeldas out there. Most of them are selfless, kind, completely devoted to saving everything. While OoT Zelda was similar, she's also very selfish. She sent a total stranger on a quest, she expected him to protect her while she sealed Ganon away, and even in the end. She abused her power over time to create new timelines. She didn't even ask if Link wanted to be sent back to his childhood.

Good intentioned as it was, it was selfish.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

I've made this Zelda my own, really, as we get hardly any adult Zelda canon. We get two legitimate scenes with her, and two small ones. That's it. If an idea comes to me, I'll introspect on it, and if I feel it deserving, make a headcanon post about it.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

When writing her, I'll often listen to the ending of OoT. The part where she and Link are together in the sky, and listen up until the end, then repeat until I've finished writing. Not *always*, but often. I absolutely adore the music.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

I can do both! I've been told very often that people are intimidated by the lengths I can reach. All I can say is please, don't be intimidated by how long my replies can get. As long as you give me something to work with, length doesn't really matter.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

Oh goodness yes, when it's developed well. I don't have any current ships on Zelda's blog anymore than I can remember, they've all been lost to the echoes of time. One of them is still alive, but it's strictly on Discord. That being said, if you want to plan a ship, let me know! My Zelda is heteroromantic, demisexual. All you cute guys out there hit a girl up

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

You can call me Bear, you can call me Danny. Either works!

ᴀɢᴇ?

I turned 32 a few months ago

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

January 9th

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

Orange and Brown

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

I mostly listen to animated music. I don't know if I could pick a true favorite, but the first song that comes to mind is the reprise of "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid (who I also write lmao, I have four main blogs)

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

When The Wind Blows

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

I'm afraid I don't watch television

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

Part of Your World (I was practicing it yesterday, only got the first half recorded cause I didn't like how the second half came out u_u)

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

Tomato Soup with lots of cheese :3c

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

Winter. Long nights, starry skies, snowy fields. I adore it.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

I don't want to exclude anyone, there are many people I care about on Tumblr. But if I had to choose one person, I'd say @trencri. I've known Donnie for two years now, but it feels like we've been friends for ages. We've talked near every day for those two years. We relate on a lot of subjects, both IC and OOC.

Tagged By: @red-man-of-mustache (Thank you <3)

[mightdeletelater]

The current discourse surrounding the cost of living crisis seems somewhat incomplete to me. When it comes up in the media or in discussions around me, it is consistently framed in terms of individuals' financial constraints, addressing what people can or cannot afford. I am not disputing that at all; that perspective is undeniably valid. In fact, I would argue that livable wages, affordable housing and rental control, neighbourhood resources, adequate public transit, high-quality education and efficient and productive health services are all very prevalent issues that fall under public safety.

But aside from all of that, when thinking about the cost of living crisis, I find myself asking: Why must we pay for everything in the first place? Today, I read this article highlighting local repair shops evolving into community hubs for free assistance in fixing gadgets and clothing. It prompted reflections on a bygone era when reciprocity thrived in communities, emphasising mutual aid rather than profit.

The individuals interviewed in the article are far from being revolutionary figures. Their actions echo sentiments reminiscent of historical resistors of industrialisation, like the Luddites (a word I learned from an English professor I hated) from the 19th century. Their resistance took various forms, some violent, but it takes one Google Scholar search to show that many chose to assert the mentality of: 'I do not need your money as desperately as you think, for I have systems of kinship outside this monetised economy.' The viewpoint of acknowledging that while currency is nice to have and it provides things, it really does not meet the majority of my needs right now is one that I am newly trying to adopt every single day. For me it's about starting small. I constantly think about that one viral Tumblr post about the commodification of friendship. It says:

the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you’re supposed to help your friends move even if it’s hard work. or stay up with them when they’re sad even if you’re gonna lose sleep. you’re supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that’s how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they’re sick. you’re supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there’s actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.

No, it isn't talking about the cost of living crisis, per se, but I like that the writer has specified how important community is and how yes, it may be unbalanced at times, and you won't gain from it monetarily, but that's OK. I'm constantly trying to remind myself that the human experience should be about giving. And I try. With my family. My friends. And in my community.

And so back to the main point: Does a significant portion of the cost of living crisis lies not just in our inability to afford things but in the imperative to afford everything. The issue transcends high prices; it's about the pervasive commodification of all aspects of life. It's about everything having a cost to begin with: whether that is physical items (like the things people were working on in repair shops) or emotional support (commodification of friendship). Capitalist logic has infiltrated to such an extent that almost everything is now part of a monetised economy. That's just so lame to me and not a trap I want to fall into.

[smallchaoscryptid]

What Would You Trade the Pain For

otherwise known as I stopped writing DSMP fanfiction about a year ago and still had a beloved dbh inspired au plotted out and saw other people posting their fics they wont ever finish as little tumblr posts so i decided to do it too. i hope yall enjoy word count: 825 words tw for character death

Tommy and Wilbur are Phil's kids.

Wilbur dies and Phil creates robots out of grief after Wilbur's death.

Tommy leaves home after Phil starts to create the robots and pretty much never interacts with Phil.

A few years pass and Tommy become friends with Ranboo and Tubbo

For his birthday Ranboo and Tubbo get Tommy a gift.

Tommy groaned at the banging on his front door. He had wanted to spend his birthday sleeping in and lounging around the house but clearly the world had other plans. Tommy rolled himself and started to make his way to the front door of his apartment. With a groan Tommy swung open his front door. “Morning, Bossman.” Tubbo chimed as soon as the door was open. “Happy birthday, Tommy.” Ranboo whispered, holding out a white cake with ‘Happy Birthday’ written on in in red icing.  “You both are lucky that I enjoy your baking Ranboo.” Tommy replied, moving out of the doorway to let the other two enter the apartment.  “You don’t mean that.” Tubbo replied, as he tugged in a large box that Tommy had not noticed before. “What the fuck is that?” Tommy asked guesturing to the box. “A gift. Have you never gotten a gift, bossman?” Tubbo  asked, as he set the large box next to Tommy’s couch as if it was an end table. “Of couse, I’ve gotten a gift before.” Tommy replied crossing his arms. While it was true that he had gotten a gift before but it had been years since then. Tommy hadn’t gotten a gift from someone else in a few years now. The last gift he had gotten was the birthday before his brother died and not too long after the birthday that his brother died Tommy had left home for the last time. 

Tommy opens the gift and it is a W1lbur unit and Tommy pretends to be thankful for the gift but is actually upset about seeing his dead brothers face on a robot that his dad made.

A week passes

Tubbo returns to Tommy's apartment and sees that Tommy is just using the unopened box as a side table.

They have an argument about how Tommy doesn’t like the gift.

Tubbo asks Tommy how does he know he doesn't like it if he hasn't opened it.

A few days pass

Tubbo comes back and bugs Tommy again about the robot and Tommy finally caves and asks Tubbo if he opens the box if Tubbo will stop bugging him.

Tubbo agrees.

Tommy sets up the W1lbur unit.

Later

W1bur and Tommy bonding sequence.

W1lbur trying to get Tommy to properly take care of himself.

Tommy gets sick and W1lbur takes care of him and makes him the same soup that Wilbur used to make when he was sick.

W1lbur slowly becoming more like Wilbur.

Tommy ends up nicknameing W1lbur Ghostbur.

More Tommy and W1lbur bonding.

Tommy and W1lbur walking somewhere at night and someone tries to mug them and W1lbur gets stabbed. 

“You are okay, Tommy.”  “No, I’m not.” “You are okay. I need to power down to save my files but you are okay and I love you.”

Which mirrors when Wilbur died:

“It’s okay, Tommy.” “No it’s not, you’ve been stabbed.” “It’s okay. You’re going to be fine. I love you”

Tommy calls the cops for help.

Cops saying they can look into property damaged but there isn't much else they can do.

Tommy saying fuck it and taking W1lbur home and tries to figure out how to save him.

Tommy decides his only option is to go see his dad because surely the one who created the robots can fix them.

Tommy goes to Phil's 

Techno opens the door of Phil's house and tells Tommy they can't fix any broken robots that some kid brings to them and tells Tommy to just buy a new one.

Tommy won't leave and ends up saying that he is Phil's kid and shows his ID.

Techno lets Phil know that Tommy is back and Phil asks Tommy why and Tommy begs Phil to fix W1lbur.

Phil tells Tommy that he can give him a new one.

Tommy tells Phil that it wouldn't be the same and that this one had learned things that it shouldn't have been able to and a new one wouldn't be able to do that.

Phil decides to try and fix W1lbur but tells Tommy that he can't promise that he can fix them.

Tommy ends up having to stay there and finds out his old room is still in a destroyed state like he had left it.

Tommy ends up having to sleep in Wilbur's similarly untouched room.

Somehow W1lbur is fixed and they all bond again and get back to being a family.

Maybe Phil and Tommy bond over fixing Tommy's room and Phil apologizes for not being there for Tommy after Wilbur's death.