#you know my love for a good double breasted jacket

[voxiiferous]

[toxicanonymity]

stuffing.

5.7k words, Joel x f!reader x Tommy | sequel here! A/N: ONE SHOT. I had to get this out of my system after that one Uncle Tommy line I wrote in september lol. Shoutouts to: @bonezone44 for being an Uncle Tommy stan, @walkintotheriveranddisappear for running the center for dvp excellence, and everyone who's been supportive. 🖤 Fic recs at the bottom. WARNINGS: I8+, big girthy age gap, darkish miller bros, dubcon (coaxing/pressure, you aren't sure what Joel allows), use of "daddy," sharing, unsafe p in v (individually and together), oral, jacking off, creampies, cucking, MFM, DP (double vag), light degradation, praise, pet names, foot massage. AU where you don't overthink this fic. You’re happy with Joel, but it’s not a healthy relationship with clear communication and boundaries. Joel carries reader. TW: incidental incest via MFM/DVP - If this isn't for you, please quietly move along.

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Joel squats down with one hand on the back of your chair. He admires your face then cups your cheek. “Gotta do somethin’, baby. Won’t be back tonight.” The casual announcement makes your heart race.  He kisses you on the forehead, then stands up. 

“What do you mean you won’t be back tonight?”

“It’s okay, baby. Uncle Tommy’s gonna stay with ya.”

Your face gets hot. Tommy tilts his head down and smiles at you from across the breakfast table. He raises his glass of juice in acknowledgement, but you don’t look at him. You look squarely at Joel, caught off guard by his plans.

“Daddy,” you whine. “Just lemme come with you.” 

“Ain’t that kinda trip, darlin’.” 

“Why can’t he do it?”

Tommy laughs silently and his voice goes up an octave. “What’sa matter, sweetheart? Don’t wanna hang out?” He tilts his head and smiles, then his normal voice returns. “That’s okay.” There's a glimmer in his eye. 

Joel grabs his jacket and kisses you goodbye, then says, “Don’t have too much fun without me,” and winks at Tommy. Then Joel's gone, just like that. Your tummy feels nervous as his truck starts, then drives away. 

-

It's Thanksgiving week. You have a lot to be thankful for. Joel loves you and takes good care of you. You have solar power and a nice farm with a secure perimeter. Tommy is visiting for the holiday. You met Tommy in passing long ago, but his girl at the time was with him, and that was before you were Joel’s. You were just the girl down the street. This week is the first time you've really spent time together. 

Joel would kill any other man for touching you, but apparently he's different about Tommy.  You're still figuring out how that works.  Joel doesn't seem to mind what Tommy sees–or feels–when the three of you are together.  But what about when you're alone? 

Does Joel know Tommy walked by the bedroom window and saw you undressing? Does he know Tommy came to apologize for that when you were fresh out of the shower, and saw you in a towel? Or that he looked you up and down, asked if Joel was treating you right, then gave a low whistle and adjusted himself before he left? Or that you touched yourself almost as soon as he closed the door?

*******

Last night, Joel put you in Tommy's lap in the armchair to give you a foot massage, and you tried not to react when Tommy got hard. “It's ok,” Tommy whispered with his hands on your hips. He pulled you back against his hard bulge with a soft grunt and it gave you a shock of desire. 

“It's ok, darlin,” Joel echoed, kneeling at your feet. Joel placed your heel on his own hardening package as he worked on the ball of your foot. 

Tommy's hand cupped your breast and you tensed. 

Joel glanced up. “Relax, baby. It's just Uncle Tommy.” 

“It's ok,” Tommy whispered again into your hair as his other hand crept up your thigh, higher and higher, until his thumb grazed your panties. Joel continued massaging you, unbothered, then switched to the other foot. 

Tommy's thick fingers glided over your panties and you twitched as he felt the dampness. He lifted his hips with a soft grunt, then cleared his throat.  “gonna take care of your girl tonight, Joel? She's drippin’ like a faucet.”  Your cheeks burned, and Tommy ran his hand down your thigh. 

Joel smiled with half his mouth as he glanced up. “makin’ a mess already?” Joel shook his head.  “Close your legs, darlin'.” 

Your stomach dropped and you stammered, “sorry, uh . . .”

But as soon as you closed your legs, Tommy lifted your dress up, making your whole body tingle with goosebumps. Joel’s face gave away nothing as he looked past you at Tommy.  For a moment, you thought Tommy had gone too far. Then Joel hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties, and Tommy held you back against his chest as Joel slid them off. Joel spread your knees, and Tommy's, and knelt between them, closer. 

With his armpits resting over your thighs, Joel looked at your cunt hungrily and spread you open with his thumbs. You tilted your hips for him, feeling yourself gush. “Good girl,” he murmured, then planted his right forearm on your lower belly. With his right fingers pointing down, he ran them through your dripping folds, then drew in a deep breath through his nose before bringing his mouth between your legs. 

Joel lapped at your weeping hole and sucked your clit. He fingered you and made out with your cunt like it was just another night, like he was getting ready to fuck you. Meanwhile, Tommy lightly grinded into your ass, breathing warm and wet into your hair and holding you gently in his strong arms as Joel devoured your pussy. Tommy rocked you gently on his lap, rocking you into Joel’s mouth. Joel ate you out at the same rhythm.  When you came, Tommy’s arousal pressed harder against you and he grabbed your breast. He cooed, “good girl.”  

Joel didn't seem to mind, and it felt really good, but you got self conscious after you finished. Tommy caressed your arm as Joel wiped his mouth off. “I'm sleepy, daddy,” you looked at him with big eyes.

Joel looked at you fondly, squeezed your thigh, and said, “I know, darlin’. Give Uncle Tommy a kiss goodnight.”  You turned around and kissed him on the cheek, then mumbled “goodnight” without meeting his eyes. 

—

Joel scooped you up in his arms. You went to bed with Joel and only Joel. As soon as he laid you down, you asked, “you're not mad about Tommy touching me?”

“Felt good, didn't it?” 

You gave a small nod. 

“Nice havin’ four hands.” Joel raised his eyebrows and left it at that. 

You eyed the protrusion in his jeans. “I'm comin’, baby,” he reassured you as he unzipped them. He pulled his jeans and boxers down together and his massive erection sprang free. He prowled across the bed, settled between your legs, and you raised your knees, tilting your hips for him. “Good girl,” he whispered as he got himself into place. 

“God damn, even wetter now,” he muttered as he gathered your slick on his fingers and wiped it on his stiff cock. His tip prodded your dripping hole, then he pushed inside with a sigh, making you moan as he split you open. Joel bottomed out, and the sound that came out of his chest was somewhere between a grunt and a groan, “Uungghh.” You whimpered in pleasure. Then, through the thin wall, you heard Tommy cum with a deep moan. Joel chuckled, then bowed his head and kissed you, pausing all the way inside. 

Joel kissed you softly as he buried his length in you, and your lips broke away only to whimper, “Daddy.”

“Yeah, baby doll,” he whispered into the pillow, right by your ear. “Daddy’s here.” You wrapped your legs around him as he fucked you deep and slow. You imagined Tommy lying behind you, grinding against you, whispering “good girl,” copping a feel as Joel fucked you.  You moaned and whimpered under Joel as he brought you to the brink again.  Then, as your wet little pussy fluttered around his cock, he groaned and bottomed out to fill you with his seed. 

**********

Now it’s morning, Joel's gone, and you're left alone with his brother. His brother with the sweet smile, soft voice, and big dick that felt so hard against you. Don't have too much fun without me, Joel said. . . With a wink.   Unsure what to do with that, you avoid Tommy for most of the day, and he doesn't make you hang out with him. He works in the yard and you catch a few glimpses. He gets hot and takes off his flannel, exposing his wifebeater and oversized belt buckle. As he dabs his forehead with his shirt, his bicep swells and the veins on his hand bulge.

Tommy comes in and takes a shower in the other bathroom. There’s a knock on your bedroom door, then it opens. You’re not sure why you didn’t lock it. Tommy’s wearing jeans, boxers, and nothing else. Your eyes linger on his strong chest. He leans with his hand against the door frame. “Think Joel would let me borrow a shirt? Wasn’t plannin’ to work up a sweat,” he chuckles. 

Tommy crosses his muscular arms over his thick, bare chest as you get a white t-shirt out of Joel's dresser and toss it to him. Tommy’s jeans ride down as he lifts his arms and puts the shirt on in front of you. He catches you looking as his head comes through the hole, then he rakes his fingers through his curls. A subtle smile forms, his eyes twinkle, and he gives you a little nod before he walks away. 

—

Later, you're taking a bath. You sigh as you sink into the water. Then there's a click as the doorknob lock is effortlessly picked. The door opens and Tommy smiles at you with his eyes, biting his bottom lip. He closes the door behind him. The tub squeaks as you quickly pull up your knees to cover your breasts. 

“Musta been touchin’ yourself, huh?” he chuckles as he approaches the tub. “Don't stop on my account.” He winks and his eyes fall on your legs. You scooch them closer together in case he can see through the bathwater. 

Your chest feels warm. You look down and away.

Tommy takes a seat on the tiled floor in front of the garden tub. “C’mon sweetheart, don't be shy.” his arm moves out of view, unbuttoning his jeans. Your nipples harden. He tilts his head to peek from the side and smiles. 

“What do you want?” you ask softly and a low squeak echoes as you shift in the tub. 

“Wanna see ya do it. Go on, finish what ya started.”  

“I wasn't.”

“There's no shame in it, sweetheart”

You swallow and look down.

He studies your face and repeats, “Nothin' to be ‘shamed of. You know that. Right?”

“Tell your brother that,” you whisper and instantly regret it. You pinch your eyes shut and add, “No, don't. . .Please.”

“Oh shit,” Tommy whispers. “Ya can’t, can ya?” 

You barely shake your head, eyes still closed. 

Tommy chuckles. “Controlling fucker, ain't he?” 

You look at Tommy and your eyes widen with some defiant glimmer of hope. “God damn,” he whispers. “keepin’ his girl from touchin’ herself.” He looks down and shakes his head in disapproval.  

He smiles apologetically.  “Guess Daddy knows best, huh?” He tugs his jeans off, and you watch unabashed.  As his pants come off, his boxers ride down, exposing his short, dark pubic hair. You can’t help but admire the way his thigh muscles swell out from his boxers.  

He palms himself over the fabric and raises his eyebrows. “Wanna see it, don’t ya?” He smiles knowingly at you. 

You don’t answer. He shows you anyway, pulling the waistband down under his balls. He's neatly trimmed and his balls are big. He's engorged but not fully hard. 

“Do me a favor and spit in my hand, sweetheart.” He holds it out in front of you. You look back and forth between his eyes, then his freckles. He's a handsome man. His hand stays there, waiting patiently. You gather saliva in your mouth, tilt your head forward, and let it drop into his palm. 

“Good girl,” he murmurs. 

He wraps his hand around his cock and You look into the bath water as his eyes devour your body. In the corner of your eye, you can see him at full mast. He breathes heavier, then moves positions. He sits with his right side against the tub, facing you. He strokes himself with his left hand and dips his right hand into the water. You flinch away then try to relax.  The backs of Tommy’s fingers graze your calf under the water. You squeeze your thighs together. 

“Don't get shy on me now, cupcake.” He reaches behind your calf and touches the back of your leg, near your ass.  Your legs involuntarily part.  He wouldn't do anything Joel wouldn't like. Would he? Somehow the tension of the situation is only making you want it more.  His fingers creep between your legs and caress your inner thigh crease. He sucks in a chest full of air, then gets on his knees. He brings his left hand to your mouth again for lube. 

“Good girl.”  The squelch of his hand around his cock echoes with the new moisture.  He searches your face as half his mouth breaks into a smile.  He holds your inner thigh as he jacks off. Then he straightens your leg so he can see your body better. “God damn,” he murmurs, and the sound of his voice is sharpened by the tile. He rubs your thigh, spits into his other hand, keeps tugging at his cock, then when he's close, he gets up and sits on the edge of the tub. It’s impossible not to look at his stiff, angry cock, glistening with your combined saliva. You still have one knee bent above the water–the knee furthest from him. 

He pumps himself and stands up to face you. “You wanna know how I taste?” He asks. 

You hesitantly shake your head no, unsure if it would be crossing a line.  “Okay, sweetheart. Don't have to.” He aims his cock at the water over your lap, then closes his eyes and groans. “Ohh, God. ohhhh,” it lands sharply in your ears as he erupts. Silky ropes of cum dance in the water, some of it wrapping around your thigh. When he's finished, he pulls his boxers back up, then his jeans, but doesn't zip them up. He sits on the edge of the tub again, leans over it, and kisses you on the forehead. Then he whispers in your ear, “I'll make dinner.” 

—-

You eat together at the kitchen table. There's a cornucopia centerpiece.  The scant conversation is about winter and gardening, until he reaches  under the table and squeezes your thigh. You want him so bad, you blurt out, “what’s happening?” 

He replies, “Huh?” with his hand still on your thigh. 

You search Tommy’s face. “You said it yourself, he’s controlling.” You shift in your chair and he takes his hand back. You continue,  “Why doesn’t he care if you. . .” 

“Ah,” Tommy smiles down at his plate. “Well. . .”  He turns his chair to face you instead of the table. He sits back and manspreads, and his hands rest on his thighs. “I’m just another body to love ya with, sugar.”  His eyes drift to the cornucopia. “And I sure am thankful for it.” 

His eyes return to you, and your heart flutters. 

“He can love on ya when he ain’t here, even.” One of his hands slides up his own thigh to rest closer to his groin. He takes in a deep breath through his nose and nods, admiring you as he slowly exhales. His eyes are darker. 

A desperate want is stirring in your belly. It seems too good to be true. You abruptly announce, “I’m tired. I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Okay, cupcake. C’mere,” Tommy opens his arms. 

You stand between his legs, bend forward, put your arms around his neck and kiss him on the cheek.  As you pull your head back, his hands on your hips pull you into sitting on his thigh. He brings a hand to your cheek, and it melts you. “I wouldn’t do nothin’ he wouldn’t want,” he reassures you.

You nod. 

“End up on the wrong side of the dirt,” he chuckles. When you don’t laugh, he clarifies, “Me, not you. He’d never hurt ya, cupcake.” 

Then he cradles your head with both hands, studying your eyes and lips.  He wets his lips, and your lips part, watching him. Half his mouth twitches. You’re warm all over. He leans in and looks at your mouth again, getting closer. When you can practically feel the heat of his lips on yours, you close the gap and feel a rush of need when your mouths come together. His lips are soft, and the kiss is tender. You pull away after two seconds. 

“Goodnight,” you whisper. 

—---

You lie in bed missing Joel, wishing he would come home.  You feel more at ease with the two of them.  Your mind drifts to Tommy.  At this rate, you wish he would stay.  You’re almost asleep when the bedroom door creaks open. 

“Daddy?” When you turn over, the moonlit silhouette is Tommy's. He's only wearing boxers and there's already a tent in them. He lifts the covers, and the mattress dips under his weight. 

You ask, “What are you doing?”

“'S��okay, cupcake, I told ya. Promise he won’t be mad.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“Your daddy and I been sharin’ our toys for fifty years.”

Your stomach turns, but Tommy adds,  “You're the most special of all, ya know.” He scoots closer. “Never seen him in love before.” 

You feel your body warming and opening up for him. 

“He wants ya to get what ya need, baby,” Tommy whispers. 

Your heart pounds. 

“Even told me your secret word,” Tommy adds. 

“He did?”

“If ya really want me to stop, all ya gotta say is Appleseed.” How would he know that unless Joel told him? 

You turn away from Tommy and he doesn't waste any time before spooning you. His strong arm rests over you and his hand cups a breast. He kisses your neck, soft and wet. The thick, warm rod in his boxers grazes your lower back as he tongues your delicate skin. He kisses your neck with increasing passion, and he kneads your breast.  Then his arousal fully presses against you through his boxers and your nightgown.  

He curves his body around you and pulls you back into him. He sighs and his engorged cock twitches against your crack, giving you a surge of desire. He slides his hand into your nightgown from the top to palm your naked breast and sighs as he grinds against you.  

“God damn, sweetheart,” he whispers as your nipple hardens against his palm. He takes his hand out of your nightgown and cups your breast on top of it again, then his hand slowly slides down your sleepwear, feeling every inch of your torso before arriving at your bare thigh. He nudges his fingers under the hem of your nightgown and slides his hand up your thigh. When his hand reaches your pussy, your top leg lifts ever so slightly, spreading your thighs to make room for him. You're not wearing underwear. 

“Good girl,” he whispers.  You’re aching to have him inside you. “Drippin’ for me ain't ya, baby?” 

He circles your clit, and you moan softly. There's a wet spot on his boxers pressing into you.  “Fuck” he mutters and backs up his hips. “Damnit, I’m drippin’, too,” he chuckles. “Takin’ these off.” 

After taking his boxers off, Tommy hovers over you and you’re still on your side. Tommy's hand comes back to your breast, and you turn your face toward his.  Your lips meet, and after two seconds, you don’t pull away. His lips push yours open and you accept his tongue. You breathe through your nose as he licks into your mouth.  

Tommy pulls back and reads your face, then gives you another soft kiss before settling in behind you, against you, curled around you again. His naked cock is smooth and warm against your ass. He grinds against you for a minute as he massages your breast and moans into your hair.  Then his hand drifts down between your legs and he groans at how wet you are. 

“I gotta be in ya, sugar.” Tommy backs up and wedges his rigid cock between your thighs, and it glides smoothly through your mess of arousal. His tip reaches your clit. You’re throbbing needily. Your hips tilt on their own, offering him your hole. 

“Fuck,” Tommy says as his tip finds your entrance. “Fuck. That’s right, baby.” he pushes his tip into you. You're dying for it, but you're still a little tense and it's making you even tighter. 

“God damn, you feel good. Can't imagine when he first–.” He pushes into you, trying to let your body relax and accommodate his girth. “Oh shit, mmm–that musta been–Fuck.” He pushes a little further. “Relax for me, baby.” He withdraws some then thrusts further into you.  “Relax, sugar,” he whispers. “Just breathe.” You take a deep breath and relax. The last of him slides in and he bottoms out.  “Ohh, good girl. There we go.” He palms your breast and you melt into him.  “We’re right here, baby.” 

He’s got you speared on his cock, spread apart by his girth. “God damn. What a good girl.” 

With his cock fully sheathed, his thick fingers rub circles on your nipple.  You moan, twitching around the new cock buried in the hot center of your body. “Mmm,” he growls into your hair, still not moving. You need friction. He breathes deeply. “breathe with me, baby.” You breathe with him and feel yourself relax more. 

“Please,” you whine, beginning to move your hips. 

His voice is husky. “God damn. Look at ya, sugar. Fuckin’ yourself on Uncle Tommy’s cock?”

“Please,” you whimper again. 

“What's your daddy gonna think?” 

Your walls twitch and your heart skips a beat. “You said–”

“Yeah. . .He'll be fine, sweetheart..” Tommy begins to move his hips. “He’d be proud’a ya, takin’ this cock like such a good girl.”

He begins to fuck you at a steady rhythm, breathing heavily and cursing softly. You begin to relax with his hand mapping the front of your body, and his stiff cock thrusting into you. He palms your tit again and your head tilts back against him. He kisses your neck, and your body opens for him even more. Your cunt swallows him up with every thrust. 

“Ohh, Joel's a lucky man,” he pants with his dick easily sliding into you, making you whole. “Shit, I'm lucky, too–uggh.”  You push back on him as he fills you with his stiff cock. 

He asks, “Little harder?” 

“Mm,” you nod. 

He slams into you and you moan. 

“Yeah, that's our girl.” 

Soon, you’re lost in the pleasure of Tommy’s thick cock pounding you. 

The front door unlocks and you freeze. You’re both facing away from the bedroom door.  “‘S’okay,” Tommy reminds you. He slows his hips, then bottoms out and pauses. “C’mere,” he wraps his arms around you and with his cock still inside, he rolls over on his back, then sets you down on your other side, arms still wrapped around you, his cock only sliding out half way in the process.

As soon as you’re settled, he bottoms out again with a soft moan.   You and Tommy are both facing the bedroom door now. The covers are down around your waist. The handle moves, then the door opens. The silhouette is Joel with his sleeves rolled up. 

—---

As Joel approaches the bed, the moonlight hits him and his face is dark. 

“She’s so good, Joel,” Tommy pants, with you still full of his cock.

Joel comes to the bed and crouches down. “God damn.” Joel gently takes your jaw in his hand and tilts his head. He studies your face, then his eyes land on yours affectionately. “Couldn't go one day, could ya?” He smiles with his eyes and relief washes over you.  

“M’sorry daddy,” you sigh. “Are you mad?”

“No, baby.” Tommy is fucking you slowly. “I ain't mad.” Joel slowly stands up and palms himself over his jeans as he watches your body move to the slow rhythm of Tommy’s thrusts. 

“Really?”

“Baby, I keep ya stuffed so full’a cock. .  . can't blame ya for needin’ it.”

“Yeah,” you whimper. 

“That's what Uncle Tommy's here for,” Tommy whispers. 

“Now I get to see ya,” Joel says “All of ya,” Joel gently pulls the covers all the way off. Then Joel tugs up at the hem of your nightgown and kneels down to take it off you. 

You try to move forward, reaching for Joel, but Joel puts his hand on your bare chest and Tommy pulls you back, bottoming out again with a moan. 

“Want yours,” you whimper.

“Shhh. You're gonna get it.” 

You watch Joel take off all his clothes, and as he does it, he watches you moving at a slow rhythm.  When Joel’s naked, he spits in his hand. He stands by the bed watching you get fucked by his brother, taking in the view as he squeezes his cock. 

“Daddy, please,” you whine. 

Joel sits down on the bed.  Tommy scooches back to make more room and brings you back with him, still impaled on his cock. Joel lies down and faces you. He gets right up against you, and the first thing he does is kiss you. His hard cock lays against your clit and mound, throbbing for you.  You moan into his mouth as Tommy’s cock drags slowly inside you from behind.  

Joel’s arm wedges between your back and Tommy’s chest, grabbing hold of you.  Joel nudges you upward. Tommy takes the hint and pulls out. You wrap your leg over Joel’s hip. His eyes scan your face, marveling at your feral want. Joel’s hand, still on your back, slides down your ass and hooks under it, between your legs, feeling your sopping wet cunt from the back. “God damn, baby. This all you or did Uncle Tommy cum already?”

“Not yet,” Tommy answers. 

Joel’s tip slides through your folds, then he pulls back  and notches himself at your entrance. He moves his hand to your hip, and pushes into you with a sigh. You're so wet and aroused, he sinks all the way into you.  “Fuck,” Joel breathes. “oh, yeah—ugghh–swallowed me right up, baby.” He marvels at how relaxed you are. With Joel’s arm out of the way, Tommy’s tummy returns flush against your back, with his hard, wet cock pressing against your ass cheek. He grabs your tit. 

Joel buries his cock in you. “Oh baby, you love this, don’t ya?” 

You nod. “Love your cock, daddy.” 

“You’re takin’ it so good, baby.  Think you’re wet enough for—ohh, darlin’.” He grinds against you, deep inside you. “You wanna ride this cock, baby?” 

You nod.  Joel slides out of you and you whimper at the loss as he rolls onto his back. Joel lies face up and holds his cock for you. He whispers, “C’mere baby,” but you're already on your way. 

You straddle him and sink right down on him with a whimpered, “daddy,” then bend forward, putting your tits against Joel’s chest. Tommy’s slowly stroking himself and watching. 

“C’mere,” Joel whispers and reaches for your head. He pulls your face into his for a passionate kiss as you grind into him with his cock buried in you. It only takes a few seconds of grinding into Joel for your walls to spasm. 

“Oh god,” he mutters as you contract around him.  “oh—oh, God, baby.” 

As you finish coming on Joel's cock, your whole body relaxes. You’re even wetter and more open than you were before. “Now you’re–oh yeah, you’re good,” Joel whispers to himself with his hands on the backs of your thighs. You both breathe for a moment and you begin to slowly move again.

Joel licks his finger then reaches over your ass, his hand approaching your hole from behind. You stop moving as he gently wedges the thick digit into your cunt from the top so his fingernail is against his cock. “Yeah,” he whispers, moving the finger around, checking how much you'll stretch. “Yeah,” he says as his head turns and he glances at Tommy. 

Joel cups your cheek  and reads your face. “Can I fuck ya with two cocks, baby?” 

You spasm with an aftershock.  “It won't fit,” you protest, but the thought of it turns you on. Your hips begin to move again. You're taking his cock and his finger. 

“Can we find out, baby doll?” Joel asks.

You slowly move on his cock and finger, with your face close to his. Your clit is throbbing.  “You aren't worried to stretch me?”

“You'll snap right back, baby,” Joel pants as he wedges another finger in with his cock. 

“I dunno if I can,” you whine.  

“It’s okay, darlin’. Let's find out.”

“Okay,” you whisper. 

Tommy gets up on his knees and gets close to Joel's shoulder, near your head.  

“Get it nice and wet,” Joel tells you.  

Without getting off Joel's cock, you turn your head enough to accept Tommy's cock into your mouth. You let saliva pool under your tongue, then swirl it all over his shaft until he's dripping. “alright” Tommy whispers, then you deposit the rest of the saliva from under your tongue. “Alright, don't make me cum, sweetheart.” 

Tommy straddles Joel’s legs behind you while Joel hugs you close. 

Tommy nudges your occupied hole. Joel slowly removes his fingers and Tommy’s tip finds its place between the first cock and the back wall of your cunt. Once Tommy's tip is nestled there, Joel’s fingers leave you and both his hands hold your sides. 

“Deep breath,” Tommy whispers. You draw in a chest full of air, and when you begin to exhale, he begins to push in. 

It burns for a moment as Tommy’s cockhead breaches your dripping hole, but his smooth, wet cock feels better than the fingers. “Fuck,” Tommy mutters as he pushes further. 

“Daddy,” you whimper. “It's a lot.”

“I know it is, darlin’, you're doin’ so good.”

“Breathe with me, sweetheart,” Tommy whispers. You take deep breaths and try to relax. The burn fades as your body catches up.  The stretch is only a little uncomfortable around their shafts at the very edge of you. Deeper inside, you feel a fullness you couldn't have imagined.  

“Good,” Joel says. “doin’ real good, baby. You wanna keep goin’?” 

You nod. You take deep breaths and bow your head as Tommy sinks in a little more. 

“God damn, baby. Packed full of it, ain’t ya?”Joel marvels. The look on his face makes you twitch. 

You lock eyes with Joel, bite your lip, and nod. Joel tilts his hips down toward the bed and you groan into Joel’s chest as Tommy pushes into you as much as he can. The burn is fading, and the sense of fullness overwhelms you in the best way. It's not just physical. You close your eyes and savor it. Joel’s hips begin to move. He slides against your front wall, nudging just the right place, making you whimper. 

Tommy slides in rhythm, and his breathing is labored. “Ohhh,” he moans. “Shit-–ugggh.” He warns Joel, “I'm pretty close, brother.”

Joel looks like he's making a calculation behind his eyes. Then he reads your face. “You want double the cum, baby?” 

You nod. 

“That's my girl,” Joel whispers. “That’s my perfect lil girl.” His hips wiggle under you.

“Ohh-fff-uuggh” Tommy pants and pulls back. 

Joel moves his hips and slides within your stuffed hole. Tommy stays still while Joel thrusts a few small strokes and you groan. Tommy pushes forward and you sigh. Joel kisses you. You push back and Tommy slides forward. Joel does another slow thrust upward, then Tommy says “fuck,” pushes another inch, then begins to cum. “Oh god,” Tommy groans. His dick pulses and pulses in your packed cunt as his warm release coats your walls and Joel's cock. 

“Jesus,” Tommy sighs, then begins to pull out of you. The burn returns as the crown of his tip crests your entrance on its way out. Then you whimper in relief. There's a sense of loss as your body slowly draws itself back in, but it's a major comfort still being wrapped around Joel's cock. Tommy lies down on his back to recover. 

“You did so good baby,” Joel brushes your cheek and his hips lift as your body adjusts itself back to his girth. “Ya like havin’ two cocks?” It’s the first time you haven’t felt packed full from Joel’s cock alone, and your temples feel weak. 

You nod hesitantly. “Do I still feel good?”

“Oh darlin’, you feel so good,” he breathes and the tension melts away from your face. 

“Yeah, I liked it,” you whisper. “But I only need one.” 

He cradles your head and  it feels like it's just the two of you. “Love you so much,” he whispers, and brings your face to his again, rolling his hips under you. He kisses you deeply and grinds up into you with his cock all the way inside. Your mouth breaks away with a moan, and your hips begin to move, bringing an obscene squelching sound with them. 

“Oh darlin’,” Joel whispers, and he pulls you back into a kiss.  He grunts into your mouth with a sharp thrust upward, and the tension boils over.  You begin to clench around him. Joel breaks the kiss with a shudder, then he moans your name as you flutter around his cock. His fingers dig into your hips and he pulls you flush, then pulses with a groan. “Ohhhh, fuck—ohhh,” he sighs as he releases a massive load, more than doubling the cum inside you. The rhythm of Joel’s cock soothes you as his load combines with Tommy's. 

—--

You stay on Joel’s cock for a few minutes, and he strokes your back, praising you quietly.  Tommy falls asleep.  Eventually you sigh and whine, "I have to go to the bathroom.” 

“Ok, baby,” Joel whispers and begins to help you off his cock. 

When you come back, Joel helps you into bed between them. You face Joel and he kisses you good night. You feel thankful for him as you drift off to sleep. 

—-

sequel here

-

-

Thank you for reading 🖤 I know people want updates on certain Joels but I haven't been having the easiest time and sometimes writing something new is lower-pressure.

Uncle Tommy is a brain worm I've had for a couple months ever since I blurted it out in another series.

I have another recent Joel x reader ft. Tommy with a different set miller bros: leopard print

And a darker Tommy x reader here: birds of prey

-----

FIC RECS

If you like brotherly sharing, a couple of my personal favorites are

I can be your pretty girl part 4, and part 5 by (RIP) walkintotheriveranddisappear who sadly inactivated

Liquid Gold and its prequel Two Hands to Hold by @gasolinerainbowpuddles,

If you like the idea of daddy/uncle, @bonezone44 has Joel, tommy, and Ezra.

More brotherly sharing - Smack My Bitch Up, a raider AU by @milla-frenchy.

If you wanna suck Tommy's big balls, @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin has you covered.

More fic recs (and more to come) on my rec blog @toxicrecs.

Alright I tried to bring my tag list back and something went wrong so I might have to remove them from the post sorry 🥲

[urhoneycombwitch]

living room lover’s rock

foreword: was in the mood for some domestic bitchy steddie x reader. that’s all

cw: no smut but sexual content (+18 as always), steddie established throuple/poly relationship, Steve’s kind of the sugar daddy, Reader with breasts, femme pet names used for R (princess, girl)

wc: 1.2k

___

It’s after six and Eddie’s got you pinned flat with his knee in your hip socket, hands dragging through each other’s hair, a proper couch spit-swapping session in full swing until the front door to the trailer slamming shut interrupts his rhythm.

“You two just couldn’t wait, huh?” Steve’s tone is husked with fatigue and admonishment as he hangs his jacket on the hall hook- must not be too upset, though, ‘cuz after toeing off his shoes he approaches the couch with head tilted in interest.

His fingers slip behind the knot of his tie, tugging it free from collared confines to hang loosely around his neck. His other hand plants itself on a hip as he stands over you and Eddie, watching, hunger brewing.

Eddie graciously attaches himself to the sweet spot behind your ear, freeing up your mouth to gasp and speak. “It- ah- it’s your boyfriend's fault. We were watching a movie and he stuck his tongue down my throat.”

Your accusation stands on grounds as shaky as your voice, and Eddie knows it, drawing back to nip at your collarbone before saying, “Didn’t hear you complaining, princess.”

“That’s because my mouth was occupied,” you snip, hands fisting tighter around the flannel of Eddie’s shirtsleeves.

In retaliation, Eddie pretends to eat your ear- chomping with loud and sloppy theatrics as you squeal and smack his ribs.

He’s still grinning like the devil when Steve sinks a knee to the carpet and gets a fistful of Eddie’s dark curls, pulling his head up and back by the roots, neck craned pale and lovely above you as Steve speaks. “Enough. You been torturing our girl, Eds?”

In response, you push up to your elbows, pressing fond kisses to either side of the Adam’s apple on display, held in place by Steve’s big hand as Eddie gulps around the sudden attention shift.

You almost feel bad for him, having been on the receiving end of the boys’ doubled focus many times before. But he did interrupt Sixteen Candles like, twenty minutes into the runtime- didn’t try very hard to wait for Steve at all, either- so you figure a bit of choice brown-nosing and light torment is called for.

“Been torturing me all day.” When your tone falls into that lilting, supplicating frequency that usually precedes something or someone coming, Eddie’s hands spasm around your hips (in warning, with pleading, anyone’s guess), a fruitless effort to get you to ease up.

Eddie’s chocolate eyes are half-lidded, not-quite panting but close to it as Steve leans closer, hints of the cologne you’d watched him tap delicately into his skin earlier this morning leftover and lingering in the shared air between the three of you as he purrs in Eddie’s ear- “Gonna say you’re sorry?”

Steve has introduced a fizzling swell of tension, growing as Eddie squirms against you and into the hold still tight in his hair; through the layers of denim, in the cradle of your hips, you can feel the stiff bulge of his cock growing stiffer by the second.

“Yeah, okay.” Remarkably well-behaved and compliant, Eddie rasps out his white flag, the grip in his hair loosed just enough so he can dip to press an appeasing kiss over your left breast (t-shirt sitting skewed and low from where he’d hastily pulled at it earlier). “Sorry ‘bout showing you a good time.”

It’s not even close to a well-rounded apology, but before you or Steve can catch him again Eddie’s sliding off and away, cool air flooding in as soon as he stands from where the warmth of his body was.

“She’s all yours, anyways, Harrington.” With kiss-bitten lips and wild hair, Eddie tugs at the front of his jeans before plunging into his pockets, feigning cool disinterest. “Gonna go out for a smoke.”

Steve settles into the couch cushion next to you, holding out an arm for you to tuck under. “Gonna wreck your lungs, Eddie.”

Adopting the same condescending tone, you add to the back retreating down the hall- “I won’t kiss you until you brush your teeth, Eddie.”

Eddie lifts a middle finger for each of you before the screen door slams shut behind him.

“Well he’s rude tonight,” Steve remarks, fondly, thumb working circles into the meat of your shoulder as he pulls you tighter to his side, arcing down for a kiss. “Good thing one of your boyfriends is a gentleman.”

Steve tastes like the sweet mint gum he always stows in his dash, with a hint of cherry chapstick. His cupid’s bow fits just right into the notch above your lips.

“Can’t really blame Eddie for his behavior,” you say, accusing again, this time with a softness that draws your nose into the curve of Steve’s neck. “Your stupid job kept you too late from us. Gonna make you quit soon.”

Steve huffs, irritated and amused- “If I don’t go to my stupid job then no more lights or water for our luxury palace.”

He stretches his legs towards the coffee table, hooking one ankle over the other, humming at the weight of you shifting further into his side.

You know he hates working for his dad, abhors the business-formal dress and the banality of numbers crunching; you also know that Steve likes providing. Needs to do it, an intrinsic part of his giving nature- he’ll work himself to the bone if it means you only have to work half shifts at the diner, if it allows Eddie to devote his free time to income-unrelated hobbies like D&D and the band.

“Gotta bring home the bacon,” Steve muses, rubbing absently at your upper arm, “God knows no one in this small-minded town will rent to our drug-dealing, delinquent, rumored-to-be satanist-”

“Hey.” The screen doors slams, Eddie drifting in on a cloud of cigarette smoke. “Watch it, pretty boy. Keep talkin’ and I’ll sic the devil on you.”

Steve sticks out his tongue, petulant. Eddie snaps menacingly at the air and flings himself down into the last spot on the couch, thigh pressed into Steve’s.

That simmering tension is back. You draw on your instigator tendencies, resting your elbow on Steve’s shoulder to wind a long lock of his chestnut hair around an index finger. “Aww. I think you two should kiss and make up.”

Lamplight glints off the silver hoops lining the shell of Eddie’s right ear, on his sharp canines as he grins, wolfish, leaning in to pucker at Steve.

With one last scathing eye roll, Steve gives in, guided by the push from your fingers at his temples- but the kiss doesn’t last more than two seconds before his head jerks away in disgust.

“Eugh. You forgot to brush!”

“Didn’t forget.” Smile turned shit-eating, Eddie jumps up from the couch “But I will for princess, here.”

He smacks a kiss to the crown of your head on his way to the bathroom. A moment later, the faucet spits on, and you turn to Steve, biting back a giggle at his less-than-enthused look.

“Asshole,” Steve mutters, but there’s a gentleness to it that makes you smile.

“Yeah,” you agree. “Ours, though.”

[missmaywemeetagain]

Sergeant Presley (a one-shot)

A/N: Somehow, against all odds in this absolute chaos of a week, I managed to bang out the "Army Elvis" prompt for this week today, like a maniac. I am both shocked and amazed that I wrote a smutty one-shot without overthinking it but also be warned this is hardly edited or revised, nor even really thought out! 😂

Thanks always to my sister wives in chaos and crime: @be-my-ally @whositmcwhatsit @vintageshanny @ellie-24 @thatbanditqueen @powerofelvis and @from-memphis-with-love

TW: Smut! Orgasms! Basically no plot!

Rating: Mature 18+ || Word Count: 2.7k

Sergeant Presley (a one-shot)

He wants to fuck you. Oh lord how he wants to fuck you, from the moment you walk in the room and sit across the aisle from him.

Maybe it’s the curve of your calves and the way they disappear under your pencil skirt. Maybe it’s how your jacket notches in at your waist, accentuating your ample hips. Or perhaps it’s the fact that even with the conservative uniform and minimal to-do with your hair and make-up (as per regulations, of course), you still are absolutely gorgeous.

Or I’m just horny, Elvis thinks sardonically, shifting in his seat.

The movement catches your eye, and he watches curiously as you do a bit of a double take, eyes widening slightly in recognition before your head whips straight ahead.

He smirks to himself at that. It never gets old, the light that goes on in women’s eyes when they take him in in person. And he certainly isn’t getting much of it lately, being effectively shackled here in Germany, clad in his drab green Army fatigues.

Well, that’s not entirely true, he thinks as he pictures the fans that gather at all hours outside the house he’s renting while he’s here, about the girls he invites in. But it’s not quite the same, not the same at all, because his fame is tenuous and teetering here. Part of him is certain that they’ve all forgotten about him at home, despite the Colonel’s reports to the contrary, despite the new movie contracts and albums he is set to record as soon as he returns. However, the sliver of fear about his fate has burrowed deep these past two years and poisons him slowly, each day he is gone.

But now he’s counting days and weeks instead of months and years, and he can nearly taste being home. His fear and the antsy feeling that permeates him is overcome by anxious excitement now, so he’s feeling better than he has in a long time.

And here he is, getting his Sergeant stripes, and that fills him with a different sort of pride altogether.

So, perhaps it is all these factors combined that have him wanting to jump across the aisle, pull you into his arms, and kiss you silly.

He’s never seen you before and doesn’t know your name until they call you up to present you with your earned rank. Feeling a bit lecherous, he admires the view of your ass as you walk to the front and the heaving of your breast as they pin your stripes. Your pretty eyes catch his unabashedly heated gaze and pink floods your cheeks as he locks you in.

Elvis knows what he’s doing. While much of it is a natural sort of gift, he’s also honed his seductive abilities quite a bit in the last four years and gets paid a lot of money because of it. He’s also well aware that he looks good, filled out in a manly way but slimmed down in all the right areas, and right now, he’s not above using his looks to get your attention. And he so does want your attention, as much as he knows by virtue of your uniform and rank, you are completely off limits. He’s not stupid—he’s too close to the end for a court martial. Though he may not be able to fuck you the way he wants, it doesn’t mean he can’t have a little bit of fun.

Crossing his arms, he brings one hand to his mouth, letting his thumb catch on his full bottom lip and his mouth fall open slightly. Then he gazes at you with a pointed but dreamy stare, his eyes blinking slowly.

He watches you gulp and fidget at front of the room, all of which could be explained away by nerves of being put on the spot, but he knows he’s hit jackpot because there’s a little fire stoked in those lovely eyes now.

Tilting his head and raising a brow, he makes a private show of looking you up and down as you walk tenuously back to your seat. Giving him a glare of admonishment, you very purposefully do not look at him once you are seated again, but your hands wring in your lap, your leg crossing over towards him.

He’s flustered you. Warmth rolls over him, pooling in his pelvis, and through the rest of the ceremony, he tries not to think of bending you over your chair, yanking up your skirt, and sinking deep into your silky heat.

His cock twitches at the thought.

Later, fate intervenes on his behalf when he realizes you’ve been seated with him at the dinner banquet following the ceremony. He shakes your hand, introducing himself, letting his fingers squeeze and his thumb graze your palm a little too intimately. The gamut of emotions that flashes over your face before you bring down a stoic smile makes him chuckle.

He guides you to sit next to him, and while you hesitate at first, he knows he’s already won because of the way your eyes widen at the suggestion.

Now that you are close, his body goes into overdrive, and he is drunk on the sweetness of your perfume and the smoothness of your skin. He realizes he’s likely being too obvious in his flirtations but can’t bring himself to reign it in. The other men and women at the table have either consciously or subconsciously deferred to him and his charms, leaving no one to compete for your attention. He lays it on thick, wanting to eat you right up.

Elvis is hyperaware of every time you glance his direction, which is happening more often as he pulls you deeper into conversation, your cool exterior thawing bit by bit. But the way your eyes dilate and how you lick your lips when he brings the bottle of cola in front of him to his mouth has a zing of arousal shooting down his spine and straight into his cock.

Oh.

Nothing if not responsive, Elvis tongues the lip of the bottle before taking a slow drag of the sweet, fizzy soda. Your eyes are fixated now on his mouth, on the bottle, and he watches you catch your lower lip in your teeth as you stare.

Heat courses through him as he pulls the bottle away, tongue rolling over his bottom lip to catch the lingering drops of sugar caught there. You swallow visibly, and he doesn’t stop his teasing, unable to keep his lip from quirking into a delighted smirk at your attentions. Your eyes fly back up to his, as if just realizing you’ve been caught, and you flush a charming shade of red before clearing your throat and looking away quickly.

But every time he raises the bottle to his lips, your eyes catch like a moth to a flame. This time they follow his hand down as he sets the bottle on the table. Condensation gathers droplets on the cool glass and he relishes the smooth, wet feeling as he strokes the bottle with his thumb.

You fidget in your seat. It takes him a second to understand why, but once he does, he feels his cock chub up, caught mercilessly in his briefs and dress pants. The little, mischievous devil in him takes great pleasure watching you watch him make a show of gripping the bottle in his whole hand, slowly thumbing over the opening at the top again and again.

You choke a little and reach for your water, taking a deep drag and blinking rapidly, as if trying to come out of the spell he seems to have you under. You attempt to throw yourself into the conversation at the table, ignoring him with all your might, your body tense in your seat.

A challenge, he thinks, smiling.

Slowly, Elvis presses his knee into the side of your thigh, loving the way you nearly jump out of your seat in surprise at the contact. It’s like a bolt of electricity between you, and he starts to strain against his underwear.

Now that he has your attention, he places his hand back around the cola bottle, lewdly gripping it and slowly twisting his hand down and back up the glass. It’s truly not that far off from his actual size, so the motion feels almost too familiar, too easy. Your mouth pops open at the suggestive gesture and it takes everything in him to not lap his tongue into that delicate little mouth of yours. He matches his rhythm, stroking his knee against your leg, which also happens to provide some delicious friction in his pants. He feels you tense, squeezing your thighs together, and he cannot help but think of your little pink snatch likely staining your panties with slick right at this very moment.

Elvis almost groans aloud at that, catching it in his throat at the last second, but you seem to hear it and your eyes fly to his. Your pupils are blown out and cheeks are hot, and he can almost smell the arousal on you. Goddamn it, he wants to make you come, right here at the table, just for him, in front of everyone, who, wrapped up in their own conversations seem none the wiser at the seduction that is happening before them.

He’s hardly touching you but feels a surge of power when you fidget again, caught like willing prey in his stare. He can’t touch you more than he already is because that would get him in trouble, but if he can’t lay you across this table and fuck you senseless, he’s going to do it the only way he can.

His ministrations on the bottle are serving to arouse him just as much as you, each stroke making his cock twitch and strain and stiffen. Your eyes dart from his to the bottle, back and forth, your breath shallow and rapid. His eyes are heavy on you, unyielding, and look upon you as though you were under him, as though he were trapped and undulating in the heat of what he just knows is your perfect, untouched cunt.

You look back at him as though you know exactly what he’s thinking, as though your tight little hole is snug around him, sweet as honey, treating him right. Your hands clutch at your silverware, your napkin, anything you can get your hands on that isn’t him, and he knows you are well on your way to where he wants you because he can feel how your legs move back and forth, creating the friction you so desperately need between them.

He wonders if he can get away with touching you under the tablecloth, with sticking his hand into those wet panties of yours to play with your swollen and sensitive nub, but your skirt is too long and tight, and your jacket hides the waistband. No, he’s gonna have to be satisfied with eye-fucking you and jerking off this cola bottle.

Your chest starts to vibrate with tension as you try desperately to hold back the short little gasps emanating from your lips and he knows then that you are set to explode. You brace your elbows on the table, hiding the lower part of your face with your napkin, as if wiping your mouth, and he feels your hips buck. You do a helluva job not moaning and rolling your eyes back as you come for him, but he sees you drift somewhere else for a moment in your ecstasy, your eyes going blank as you pant as measured as you can into your napkin-shield.

Watching you unravel so gracefully and so untouched has his own orgasm sneaking up on him. The fact that he made you come just by looking at you but also at the element of public indecency involved has him clutching the cola bottle so hard he might break it. He wants to palm his dick with his other hand, but he knows he can’t be subtle about it and kind of likes the fact you’re making him come untouched, too.

Elvis manages to hold on until you come down from your high enough to look at him with dreamy, satiated eyes and that finally sends him over the edge. His cock pulses heavy and hard, springing against the confines of his slacks, his eyes drifting closed and lips parting as he shivers through his orgasm as quietly as he can. Holy fucking hell.

Your shy, knowing smile is the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes, and he can’t help but smile right back at you in kind. Your rosy cheeks and gleaming eyes make him feel giddy. His face feels red hot and he can’t help but bring the cold cola bottle to his face to cool it off. You choke back a laugh.

“You alright there, Sergeant Presley?” another soldier questions him.

“Ohhhh, I’m fine,” he drawls, amused, “Just feels like it’s a thousand degrees in here is all, in this getup.”

For once, he’s glad of his regulation briefs, as they kept him from shooting his load straight down his pant leg, but he doesn’t have to look down to know by the sheer force and amount of his release that he’s soaking through the front of his pants. His only consolation is that he knows you must be soaked through your panties, too.

If he can get his jacket on, he’ll be okay because it’s long and will cover the mess, but how he’s going to do so without the entire hall seeing he just jizzed his pants, he’s not so sure. It might not be a problem for the average Joe, but people can’t help but watch his every move, whether he wants them to or not. He realizes in his haze of horniness that maybe he didn’t really think this through.

You seem to realize his predicament, however, pretty eyes widening after looking down in his lap. You snap your head up quickly and he can sense your wheels turning. He starts to panic a little when you don’t let him in on the plan, though, as you start telling some story that he can’t seem to pay attention to with the sticky, rapidly cooling mess in his underwear.

Before he knows what’s happening, you are sweeping your arm to the side in a dramatic retelling, knocking the half-full bottle of cola over, directly into his lap.

He yelps in surprise as the dark cola soaks into his slacks, right over the other stain that had begun to set.

“Oh! Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, Sergeant Presley!” you cry apologetically, quite convincingly, and in other circumstances, he might try to get you into the movies with your level of commitment as you place your napkin into his lap.

He chuckles, “Oh, it’s fine, darlin’, it’s just a little soda. After all, I was going on about how warm I was gettin’, so you cooled me right off.” He gives you a wink at his obvious double entendre, and you purse your lips to hold back a laugh.

“Well, I’m awfully embarrassed,” you say quietly, fully leaning into the role. “Please send me your dry cleaning bill. It’s the least I can do.” Pulling a little pad out of your clutch, you scribble something down on the paper, tear it off, fold it, and hand it to him.

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. It’s no big thing,” he says, but takes the paper anyway, sensing that you have written something other than your dry cleaner’s information on it. He motions for your pen and paper. “Can I?”

You nod and hand them over. In his chicken scratch handwriting, he scrawls a note:

If you ever find yourself in Memphis someday, honey, come to Graceland for a visit. Ask for ‘Sarge.’ I’d love to have ya.

Love, Sergeant Elvis Presley

He finishes by adding one of the numbers at Graceland and hands the pad back to her. Wishful thinking, but maybe someday, when it’s not a court-martialed offense, he’ll be able to show you the good time you deserve.

He excuses himself, then, sloshing in his soggy, ruined pants, waiting until he gets to the car to read your note.

Sergeant Presley,

One must watch out for those pesky cola bottles…Try vinegar and cold water for that stain…wouldn’t want it to set!  

Corporal Y/N  Y/L/N

He laughs heartily as the car pulls away.

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[seeingstarks]

the cream on the cake wants to escape

summary : being newly signed to all elite wrestling, you don't know many people and expect no one to show up to your birthday party but end up with company of the devil himself and mr. best in the world. pairing : mjf x cm punk x plus size afab!reader cw : cursing, many sexual innuendos, teasing, breast grabbing/kneading, daddy/babygirl/daddy dynamic, implied cmjf references, thigh riding, cock/clit teasing, begging, male masturbation, blowjobs, dirty talk, double penetration, creampies, butt-plugs, slight bondage, ass slapping, utter filth. a/n : my birthday is in three days and with cm punk coming back soon i just had to whip something up also i love cmjf but basically this is something small i made for myself. i hope you all enjoy it though and as always reblogs are very much appreciated!! my ask box might be open soon for drabbles as i'm slowly getting the inspo for writing again. <3 there may be a few spelling/punctuation errors. word count : 2,518 words tag list : @josiewrites , @baysexuality

some of the talent backstage had their suspicions when you became apart of bullet club gold in just a matter of months after being signed to all elite wrestling.

the rumours began to spread, hushed whispers down the halls the moment you left a room. there was no getting away from your ex - however none of them knew what actually happened.

you carefully hand-wrote each invitation to your birthday party being held later that night, allowing everyone to bring a plus one. in each envelope corner you curled a cursive letter heart with your initials on it.

not knowing many people at all elite, you felt doubt that anyone would come. if you had known more people maybe they would have thrown you a surprise party instead of doing one for yourself.

with a sigh you sat down at catering after grabbing a boxed cupcake juice robinson gave you earlier but didn't have time to sit down and eat until now.

glancing around, not many seemed to even care or notice it was your birthday. they were either too wrapped up in their own lives or didn't see you sitting all alone.

pulling out a lighter from your jacket pocket you attempted to ignite the flame a few times but had no luck. "seriously, the one time where things go to absolute shit and it's my birthday!?" you cursed out weight shifting as you felt someone's presence next to you.

anyone but him. "how is my switchblade babe doin', aye? need a light?" jay questioned with a smirk before pulling out his lighter and igniting the candle on the cupcake as if it were nothing.

you rolled your eyes before even taking a glance at jay, "didn't need your help, and don't call me that. we're not together anymore. don't even know why we're in a stable together." you crossed your arms at your ex.

"wow.. last time i help a friend out. well, i'll leave ya' be then." jay stood up and walked away while you took the wrapper off your cupcake and took a bite from the sweet treat.

a single tear fell down from the corner of your eyelid, today of all days you felt most lonely. the salty liquid ran all the way down to your lips and you didn't want anyone to see you crying. luckily bullet club gold wouldn't be needing the locker room today as you booked it and locked the door behind you.

the rest of the day seemed to go by at an agonizingly slow pace, you began to set up pastel decorations and blew up a few balloons as the clock ticked down nearing the time for guests to arrive.

walking into the washroom, you fixed up your h/c hair and brushed it off to the side while fixing your black dress which hugged your curves perfectly. not having the time to put a bra on or even caring about it, you shrugged while looking in the mirror and threw a light jean jacket on over the dress while slipping on a pair of combat boots, comfort and style.

once ready, you took a seat on the sofa and waited a good ten minutes before someone knocked on the door, "coming!!"

once seeing who was in your doorway your mouth fell agape, so many questions filling your mind but words unable to form.

"you 'gonna just stand there or welcome me in, i'll move ya' if i have too." shaking your head, you simply giggled and stepped aside.

"how- when- where?" you questioned and raised an eyebrow while looking the chicago native up and down who did indeed age like fine wine.

"okay.. see lemme' explain. me and uh- let's say a co-worker of mine paid off the others not to come in order for you to have a special night, that is... if you want."

you punched phil on the chest, who didn't flinch the slightest. the chicago native pretending to be hurt and scrunching up his face, "ouch that hurt soooo much."

"i was crying earlier and this so called co-worker of yours is nowhere to be seen!" you yelled at him and punched the man once again.

"shhh, babygirl. there he is." your eyes left his and looked up to meet with a pair of dark hues belonging to the devil himself who locked the door behind him.

"aw, are you two getting started without me?" maxwell asked.

gulping thickly you hid you your face in the crook of the chicago native's neck, your cheeks starting to heat up the moment phil wrapped his large hands around your waist and gave a slight squeeze.

"so brave before and now look at her hiding... we're gonna' have fun with you tonight, such a shy doll isn't that right?" maxwell taunted and approached the two of you, the heat of his breath running down your own neck sending chills down your spine, "but tonight is all about the birthday girl.. tomorrow me and phil have our fun.. that is if you can still walk by the time we're done."

stepping away from phil momentarily, you allowed him to still hold your hips as you looked up at him with a soft smile. "well... i've always wanted to try thigh riding.." you admitted shyly while glancing between the two men as they each shared a knowing look which could only mean trouble.

"oh? whose thigh do you wanna ride first?" phil pulled you in closer, rubbing his hands along your curves and pressing his growing hard on up against you, "look what you're doing to me already baby.."

maxwell smirked as another pair of hands went behind your figure, going under your shirt and massaging your breasts as you let out a soft moan for the devil, "fuck- not wearing a bra, is that just for daddy?" he asked and pinched your nipples causing a whine to escape your lips all at the same time when phil brushed the tip of his cock up against your clothed entrance.

"n-no it mm- happened by coincidence but i will make sure to wear em' less for both my daddies." you responded with a grin.

"did you hear that phil? she's got two daddies now- will be fun adding a chick into our little adventures, hm?" max questioned the chicago native who simply nodded as the two men continued to tease you.

throwing your head back you let out another moan, your underwear soaked at this point simply by the fact of phil teasing your clothed clit with his cock and maxwell tormenting your breasts with his hands, kneading at them as your nipples hardened under his touch, "more daddy- please-" you begged and took a sharp breath.

lifting your arms up, maxwell helped rid you of the black dress and phil briefly picked you up off your feet to slip the combat boots which were discarded haphazardly toward the floor.

you looked down and attempted to take your underwear off which caused phil to shake his head, "not yet, baby. don't think we forget about your little request."

phil took his clothing off and laid back on the sofa, luring you over with a finger wave as you straddled his thigh he pushed his knee up against your clit.

"go ahead and get off on my thigh, babygirl." your cheeks heated up once given permission as you began to ride his thigh, soft whimpers and moans already falling from your lips at the friction being created from your underwear.

"look at you.. soaked already and you haven't even had a cock inside you yet. just imagine how messy you're gonna be with both me and max inside you." the mere thought of what phil just said caused you to ride his thigh even faster, the moans becoming louder, your attention being adverted for a moment as you looked over in the corner to see maxwell jerking himself off in the chair, "don't stop doll, 'wanna watch." he spoke with a pant and you kept eye contact with maxwell while moaning out, "mmm-fuck!"

you were clearly falling apart on the chicago native, his cock hard while watching the curved beauty above him get off on just his thigh. "daddy- i'm so close-" you whined and grinded up against the man before making even more of a mess in your underwear.

"fuck- i'm close too babygirl-" maxwell spoke in broken breaths and phil gave you the okay to leave his thigh but not before he took your underwear as a sort of token to his accomplishments.

you crawled off the sofa, ass in the air which was definitely a sight to see for phil as your clit was still soaked from moments before. you dropped down to your knees infront of maxwell who had cum already dripping from the tip of his cock.

you stuck your tongue out and gave him kitten licks, looking up at maxwell with hooded eyes as his hands wrapped around in your hair and tugged gently while you took more of his length in and sucked lovingly. the man was already edging himself so it didn't take long for him to fill the entirety of your mouth with his warm seed, "i forgot to buy cake but that was some good as hell frosting." you smirked and wiped the remainder of the cum off your lips.

"always more where that came from, baby. however when the clock strikes midnight we get to have fun our way."

"what does your way entail exactly, phil?" you asked in a shy tone.

"well.. let's just say instead of crying over a stupid ex it will be because of overstimulation or.." phil looked around the room, a smirk growing on his lips, "cause we tied you up with this pastel ribbon. all depends if you're a good girl for us or not. isn't that right?"

you nodded your head, "yes sir, but i rather like that idea."

maxwell stood up from the chair and approached you, "what do you say we try it out tonight?"

you nodded your head so fast if you were a bobble head it would have popped off, eager to have more fun with the two men. "yes, pretty please."

"oh.. look how desperate she is to be tied up and filled with two cocks... think she can handle us both at the same time?" maxwell asked phil.

"let's find out and see."

phil picked you up and carried you to the sofa, placing kisses on each wrist before tying them together with pastel ribbon.

"ass up, legs spread." maxwell used a demanding tone of voice which had you dripping, he ran his fingers along your folds, "such a good girl already. prepared for the devil to corrupt you?" it wasn't a question, more of a warning as he slid into your entrance, giving you little time to adjust in attempts to grasp at the sofa.

"fuck, such a beautiful sight. look at her already clenching onto you so tight max.." phil hummed and entered himself slowly into your asshole, nearly hissing at how tight you were.

"p-phil- you're huge!" you yelled out, head barely able to think of a single thought while being stuffed full of two humongous cocks.

phil slapped you on the ass while entering the rest of his cock into you slowly as maxwell started to thrust, "that's daddy to you, got it?"

"uh-mhmm! yes daddy!" words became incoherent mumbles once the two men picked up speed, both making sure you were okay but at the same time whispering absolute filth into your ears as you clenched around their lengths as if your life depended on it.

"f-fuckk! you both feel amazing!" grunts and groans alike fell from both their lips and you could've sworn you heard them both call each other daddy, leaving you to wonder what they did in the midnight hour before adding a woman into the mix. you were never one to judge but with you there it was three times the charm.

the moans became increasingly louder as they pounded into you relentlessly, you'd all probably end up with a noise complaint sooner or later.

"go ahead and cum babygirl.. we can feel how close you are." you felt the heat of the chicago native's breath up against your ear, "yes sir." the flood gates were open as you came around maxwell's cock and he released inside of you while phil did the same. the three of you continued to ride out the high but you were the most worn out.

phil was the first to pull out as cum dripped from his tip all the way down from your asshole, "i was 'gonna save this for later but.. you should open it now." he handed you a small black box wrapped with a gold bow, the contents inside being a butt-plug.

your eyes went wide as you looked over at the chicago native, "what am i supposed to do with this?"

"think y'know.. sweetheart.. want you to sleep with it in as a reminder who owns that ass." he smirked and took the plug from your hand before inserting it inside your body.

"y-yes sir, thank you for the gift daddy." you placed a kiss to the chicago native's lips which he then returned and nipped at your lower lip, leaving you to want more.

maxwell had been keeping you warm in a way with his cock as you felt him continue to twitch inside you, a whine falling from your lips when he pulled out aswell.

"don't worry baby. there is much more where that came from." maxwell revealed a brown gift bag with the words burberry inscribed on the outside.

you sat back on the couch, still panting a bit while opening the gift from max which was a matching set of burberry lingerie in just your size, on the side was a pair of angel ears.

pouting you looked between the two men and they each furrowed their eyebrows, "what's wrong, baby?"

"just wanted something to keep this cum inside me. love being full of both my daddies icing like a cake." you grinned up at them as phil had something hid behind his back, a matching plug to the one gifted, "you're in luck."

yawning, the night activities started to take a toll on you so you got dressed in the lingerie which would surely be torn apart by morning and you kept the chicago native's gifts quite warm aswell.

once returning from the washroom, maxwell and phil were in their boxers and you cuddled up between them on the sofa before shutting your eyes as they each placed a kiss to your cheek.

"how was your birthday?" maxwell asked as you rested against his shoulder and you scratched the chicago native's beard softly, noticing him start to drift off toward slumber with your loving touch.

"best birthday ever. thank you both so much. now get some sleep, knuckleheads."

phil slapped your ass playfully in response, "goodnight, babygirl."

[cyandreamzaceattorney]

♡ Lawyer Pearl Fey ♡

Few days ago I was inspired by seeing someone saying Pearl should become a lawyer and so I felt like drawing some drawings inspired by the concept! I even designed three lawyer looks for her!

All three outfits have Mia's shoes (in my mind it's same brand not the exact same pair cuz I doubt they're the same show size and second hand shoes tend to be uncomfortable imo) cuz they look cool and I like the reference, and the jacket in the first two designs is inspired by Phoenix's first lawyer suit jacket. First outfit I gave a pencil skirt that's same length as her dress, but in second design I gave her pants instead and personally it's my fave lawyer outfit I designed for Pearl. But I still did a 3rd outfit design that gave her a more Mia inspired hair do, Mia's belt (one from her sprites not official art) and a dress that folds over like her yukata with double breasted buttons, cuz so many aa outfits have double breasted buttons for some reason lol, especially in AA5/6.

I'll probably draw more Lawyer Pearl in future as I do love this concept a lot! Especially since I hc her being a good lawyer but summoning Mia semi-often because she knows Mia is a really good lawyer and sprit channelling is very easy for Pearl XD. Plus it's funny to think of how the procecutors react to this, like you know Nayuta will notice when she does this and is both very impressed and dispointed, maybe even asking the judge to give her a penalty for "cheating" XD

Anyways hope you all enjoy these drawings and my hc's to go with them (⁠≧⁠���⁠≦⁠)

[wisteriagoesvroom]

Re: suits, there are hundreds of different types of suits, but the most common cuts are british, american and italian. I could see Lando (aka would love to see) most likely in an italian cut (slim tailoring on trousers and jacket, unstructured shoulders, light cloth (not colour but fabric) also looks very nice with an open collar and no tie...). Typical big brand names here are Zegna, Armani or Attolini, I personally love Kiton and Brioni as well, but just googling itlian cut suits should show some good results.

For Oscar, I would adore a (for once) properly tailored brutish cut suit (higher waistline for the trousers, more structure in the shoulders, tapered waist, thicker fabrics). Maybe even make it a proper three-piece bc ever since the wetsuit pics from Australia, I think we all agree that those curves need to be shown more often. Examples here are Ted Baker, Dunhill and ofc everything Savile row.

Tho if we keep with the Mclaren sponsors, Reiss does some great work as well. There's a double-breasted tuxedo jacket in this year's collection that I would love to see Lando in (then again tuxedos are a whole nother topic ...)

This got very long and is probably not very helpful but I love infodumping about fashion lol <3

i know you were self conscious about writing at length about this but all i have to say is: yes. here is some additional photographic evidence from my POV;

lando in snazzy italian tailoring, but to take the stylised vector a bit further:

exhibit a: asymmetric waistcoat with steampunk details

exhibit b: italian but with a fun pattern

exhibit c: open collar a step further, he could so rock a 70s suit. also just really need him to rock the gucci glasses with some shiny loafers like he’s sooooo got that vibe. im thinking how bruno mars and harry styles wear that kind of suiting sometimes

now to our elusive chanteuse f1 driver oscar jack. i feel like it’s, like what you described, about a classic style but with really fine details. good fabrics, simple cuts, plain colourways. below is pretty stylised but also this is rpf and it’s my playground and if we were claiming realism we should just put the rpf toys down full stop and i am not doing that!!

if taking a costume designer’s perspective too, there could be soooo much you could say with layering and pattern and contrast depending where we are in the story or plot. the idea of fic!oscar in a classic brit cut suit with tiny revealing details like a handkerchief (lando’s) or a button (a nod to a family member or a friend) is very dear to me.

the other option i like is a classic tux jacket with tails and crisp shirt and a a sky blue handkerchief, like idk that image also tickles me for some reason.

anyway so i had been thinking about a tailor AU- *loud scuffling noise as i try to put wayward au ideas back in their box*

p.s. oscar in dunhill... like u were cooking but u especially cooked w that one....

and tagging the people who might be interested in this conversation i invite y’all to weigh in!! @cx-boxbox @kichona-s and @jusst-you-race

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

Headcanons on Kon in the Captain Marvel adopts Superboy AU

Kon is his universes Captain Marvel Junior, Freddy is called Lieutenant Marvel instead

Billy’s age isn’t known, only the Shazamily and Kon know. Plus Tim, Kon told him and Tim makes sure Batman doesn’t figure it out through sneaky sabotage

His jacket has embroidery saying “You’ve been” with Caps symbol on the back with a “Struck!” At the bottom (You’ve been thunderstruck) instead of “Don’t mess with the S”

Does have access to Captain Marvels powers if needed, he’s part of the family so he can call down the lightning, but doesn’t like to because it ages him up and he ends up looking just like Clark

If he is Shazam-ed up his leather jacket becomes double breasted with the thunder emblem taking up most the front and thunder bolts in a belt formation on his hips, other than that his suit stays entirely the same

Civilian name is Conner Elliot Ordway; Conner is obvious, the Elliot is a nod to the House of El, and Ordway is the maiden name of Billy’s mom. The initials spell out CEO which is a humorous nod to Lex. Billy wanted to make sure Kon had a name that honored his family history, as messed up as it is, while still giving his one that’s makes him part of his family and able to be his own person separate from them. Which is why he gave him the last name Ordway instead of Batson, so his identity is completely his own if he wants it to be.

(More under the cut)

Knows Billy is Captain Marvel but still sees him as a great father figure, one who cares about and loves him unconditionally and respects him while also actively trying to be present in his life

Billy models his treatment to Kon as a mix of how he remembers his own dad and doing the opposite of what Superman was doing, which leads to a very loving parent-child dynamic built on respected boundaries and lots of open affection to remind eachother they’re loved

Billy mainly sees Kon as a older brother, Kon sees Captain Marvel as a dad figure and Billy as a little brother when they spend more time together as civilians. It changes based on how long they spend together in one of Billy’s forms for the most part, but mainly Kon sees him as his dad (even if the differences in age are supposed to be odd)

Billy uses the “Pretending to be my own dad” trick with Captain Marvel to get Kon in a high school in Fawcett plus Tim’s stellar “I faked a whole uncle to avoid being adopted” abilities to fake the paperwork

Billy works at Whiz radio and uses Cap in civilian clothes working odd jobs to afford an apartment for the both of them, which is made a lot less expensive when Billy uses that “Powers of Shazam, summon before me (insert desired thing here)” spell he summoned a ping pong table with that one time to cover large furniture

Superman started giving Cap the silent treatment after he learned Conner has been all but legally adopted Kon

Mary is a cool aunt to Kon, both get along well and scrapbook together as a bonding activity

Freddy, understandably, freaks out and is all over Kon the first few months he’s part of the family. Asking about TTK, doing dumb stuff with their powers and arm wrestling to see whose power set is better, asking any and every question that comes to mind. Those two get in a lot of power based shenanigans and hang out a lot in and out of costume

The love language of the entire family is shared time and involves a ton of physical affection just because it’s good to remind people you love them with a hug, Kon is living his best life with all the love and validation he gets 24/7/365

Billy inadvertently catches up with and excels past his age groups study’s after learning what he can as Billy and trying to stay up to date with Kon’s school work to be the parent that can help their kid with homework and does

They go as eachother for Halloween one year, Kon takes a selfie and shows it to the rest of young justice forgetting they don’t know about Billy and when they ask he panics and says that’s his kid brother.

Which tumbles into Batman thinking Cap is CC Batson reincarnated with powers and trying to be a good dad and hero despite the whole death thing and Tim in the background trying not to laugh when he knows Bruce is wrong

(Stuff tied to comic canons)

Captain Marvel disappears for a solid 3 weeks after Kon dies, spending the whole time bouncing from afterlife to afterlife trying to look for him and asking the various death gods he comes across where Kon might have ended up. He doesn’t find him and has to grieve losing his family all over again

Covered every base he could think of looking for Kon’s soul, checked his family’s old faith, Hades because of the Greek ties, Kryptonian gods, a fist fight with Lady Blaze for information but couldn’t find anything. All he knows after that is that either Kon didn’t have a soul (which isn’t true and he refused to believe that), his ghost is roaming around and didn’t move on properly so he’s in a state of limbo, or he’s in some other afterlife and he has no idea what other ones to check for him in. Either way, Billy can’t find him and gets torn up that he lost some of his family all over again

The new 52 has Superboy Prime a prisoner held in the Monsterlands, a realm under the Council of Eternity’s (and Captain Marvel’s) control. Billy makes every day there a living hell for him for the next year until Kon is brought back, and after that all of Young Justice gets a free lifetime pass to pop by and beat him senseless for some Therapy™️. Tim and Cassie got a lot of hits in

When Kon does come back and gets back into the swing of his civilian life Billy worries a lot more and gets a little hover-y as a parent to Kon, Mary makes him earrings and small pieces of jewelry that has protection charms on them, and Freddy checks up on him between classes.

All in all, it’s a family of orphans all in various situations of oprhanhood being there for eachother no matter how weird life gets for them. Sometimes a family is your middle school aged dad, his best friend, his twin sister, a shape shifting talking tiger, and yourself

[eyes-of-rock]

Revenge

Paul Stanley X OC

Chapter Two

-> {Prologue // Chapter one} (would love to link it but can't)

I do one final look at myself to make sure everything is perfect. I'm wearing a beautiful satin emerald green tea-length dress. It is sleeved with a plunging v-neckline, and the fabric gathers up at the torso. The dress looks stunning to me—the perfect revenge dress. I look damn good.

I look at my living room wall clock—two minutes till four. I take my clutch off the table and head out the door. As I leave my apartment building, a slick black Porsche pulls up.

I know there is no one living around here with a car that nice. The most excellent vehicle I've seen is my Toyota. So it has to be Paul. Right on time. Impressive. I note. More than I can say for Jack, my ex and groom of the wedding I'm about to attend.

The car is sexy as hell. I haven't ever seen a Porsche in person before, at least not this close. You might think it is crazy, considering I live in Los Angeles, but I don't live in the Hollywood part.

Paul seems to be understanding the assignment. I know no one is going to be pulling up to this wedding in a car this nice.

I walk up to the car and open the door. The interior is a sexy black leather. This is the most excellent car I've ever been in. It almost feels wrong to be sitting in a Porsche with Paul Stanley of KISS. I'm a security guard at an office with an awful dating history. I'm not a model or an actress.

“You look stunning.” Paul compliments me, sliding his sunglasses down his nose for a better look.

“Thank you.” I smile, “You look pretty good yourself.”

He's wearing a nice black double-breasted suit jacket, a black striped vest underneath it, and a white low-cut t-shirt under the vest, and he's showing off just a peak of his chest hair. Then he's wearing some nice black jeans. He looks perfect.

I think that wedding is about to be hit by a big surprise, and I can't fucking wait. That's what they fucking deserve.

———————————————

“Lorna.” My mother greets me coldly. “I didn't expect you'd come.”

If you can't tell, she took Vanessa’s side. It's not surprising. She's always been her favourite and could do no wrong. It was always my fault, even when she was in the wrong. This situation is no different.

She eyes up Paul. She wants me to introduce her to my date because she's too proud to introduce herself. Every single guy I've ever brought home, and there haven't been many, she's done this same thing, too. Meanwhile, with Vanessa, it’s always been a friendly smile and an introduction.

“I know that's why I came,” I tell her, “and this is Paul Stanley. Paul, this is my mother.”

“Are you two seeing each other?” She asks in a rather demanding tone. She sounds rather unimpressed. Good.

I don't know how to answer that. I want to say yes, to get her back because we are now that I took him to this wedding technically. But this is also the first time we've gone out if this even counts as going out. I don't want to overstep and say something untrue. Who knows how he's feeling about this? However, something about our conversation a few days ago tells me he’s hoping it is going in that direction. For whatever reason. I still can't figure out why he even went after me, to begin with.

I’m not against the idea. He's been nothing but a gentleman all night so far. Paul is an adorable, caring guy behind the Starchild persona. I don't know if I'm someone he'd want on his arm at the end of the day.

“Yes, and your daughter is a lovely woman,” Paul answers for me, putting his hand on the small of my back and pulling me closer.

“Oh. Isn’t he a little old to look like a teenage degenerate?” My mother asks me, being a snotty cunt as per-usual. I know she's referring to the fact Paul has long hair.

“Isn't Jack a little young to be balding?” I fire back without thinking. His hair is thinner than a piece of paper. At least Paul still has all his hair and is older than Jack.

“You need to check your attitude, Lorna!” my mother gasps, scolding me and holding her hand to slap me. Like she always did to punish me as a kid.

I'm just going to take it like a grown women. I've been hit by her so many times it doesn't even hurt anymore.

“I wouldn't hit her if I were you,” Paul warns her, his voice level and calm.

My mother stops dead in her tracks and looks utterly shocked. I'm just as amazed as her. No one has ever actually stood up for me before. I'm not used to that; my mother isn't used to being told no.

“I want to hit my daughter for being disrespectful, and I will.” My mother gasped, horrified someone told her no, that someone stood up for me.

“Not while I'm here.” Paul insists.

“You’ve always been a spiteful girl; of course, you brought a little guard dog. Just don't ruin this day for your sister.” my mother spits at me, sounding disgusted.

Then, before I can retaliate, she turns and stomps off. I make sure to flip the bird her way real quick. That's what she deserves after that interaction.

I watch her walk over to my sister, hug and kiss her. When only moments ago, she was going to slap me in the face. It fucking hurts. I don't know why I've never been good enough for her. I wish I could have been. I fucking do.

I shouldn't have come. I know being around my family fills me with both anger and hurt. Yet here I am, and I refuse to look like they are getting to me, so I leave early.

At least I'm not alone. Paul is in my corner, which is very sweet of him. He didn't have to defend me, but he did, proving him to be a good guy.

“What a lovely woman,” Paul says sarcastically, an unpleasant look on his face.

“Yeah.” I agree, “Thank you.”

“I wasn't going to let her hit you.” He tells me, sounding like it's just a no-brainer. “Any normal person would have reacted the same way.”

“Well, you say that, but Jack let her hit me in front of him once,” I tell him.

“He’s a jackass,” Paul says, “I mean, come on, he let you go.”

“He did me a favour.” I admit, “I could be the idiot marrying him.”

“Exactly.” He agrees. “This won't be their last marriage.”

“You think?” I ask curiously.

“It’s not a good sign when the couple meets through adultery. Then you have to factor in he's an asshole.” He explains, “I promise you, this marriage will end eventually.”

“I hope you’re right,” I say as we sit at the table. Naturally, my sister put me in one near the back. Not with the rest of my family.

“Hello everyone.” The maid of honour, Vanessa’s best friend since middle school, speaks into the mic at the front of the venue with the rest of the wedding party.

“I’m the maid of honour.” She introduces herself.

“This is a love story for the ages.” She continues, and I roll my eyes. This is going to be a long speech.

“When Vanessa met Jack on that fateful rainy day in October at the Oldstone Bar. They locked eyes, and even though Vanessa had never met him, she knew her destiny was to be with him. So she walked up to him, and their love story began, even though she had to deal with jealousy from her sister of all people they made it through.”

“What the fuck?!” I blurt out in utter shock at the lies from that woman's mouth.

Are they out here spinning it like I made the whole thing up? Like they never knew each other, and I was jealous and getting in the fucking way? When there is undeniable proof that Jack dated me and they had a fucking affair? His entire family met me as his girlfriend. We dated for two whole fucking years. If anyone was jealous, it was Vanessa; she broke us up.

I'm so angry right now I can't even think straight. All I can think about is walking up on that stage and telling everyone the truth. I know I shouldn't, but I can't let this fucking slide. I can't let them tell a fucking lie to everyone and get away with it. I'm done. I’m not holding my tongue any longer.

I stand up.

“WHAT A LOAD OF BULLSHIT!” I yell to catch everyone's attention.

Everyone gasps, and the room falls silent.

“You two are such fucking liars.” I ask, “Would you like to know how they met?”

“I was dating Jackass over there,” I say, pointing right at Jack’s stupid fucking balding head.

He looks as terrified as he should be.

“and then he goes and cheats with my bitch of a sister Vanessa. Who never so much as felt a drop of rumours. So if anyone in that situation was because it was her.”

“Lorna, please-” My father bags; he doesn't ever get involved. He spent my whole childhood just letting everyone treat me like shit.

“No.” I snap, standing firm, “You don't deserve me to stop; I'm done with all of you.”

“You two deserve each other,” I say, pointing towards my sister, who's crying crocodile tears and her pussy ass husband.

“I wish you a short and miserable marriage.” I pick up the champagne glass and cheer it towards them.

Then I start walking towards the door, everyone looking at me. I hold my head up high. I don't regret it. It had to be said, and I don't care if a single one of these fuckers talks to me again.

I take a deep breath once I'm outside. I don't even feel sad. I don't feel like I’m losing something, but I am walking away from them. From cutting them off. I probably should have done this years ago.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” I apologize to Paul; I feel slightly embarrassed, so I just blew up in front of the frontman of KISS.

“I get it if you don't want to see me again.”

He didn't know me well and had to put up with all my family drama. He's been very nice about it, but he must think I'm insane now.

“Don’t apologize.” He says, “They had it coming.”

“Really? You don't think I'm crazy?” I ask, surprised.

“You’re the most normal one there.” He laughs, “I’d love to take you out again, maybe this time without your family.”

“I’d like that.” I smile at him, “And don't worry, I don't think I’ll be talking to them anymore.”

And I wholeheartedly mean every word of that. This wedding had a better ending than I could have thought. I did get my revenge.

[myheartalivewrites]

A VERY INCOMPLETE LIST (PART 1)

I set out to make an ACD style incomplete list of things I loved about the RWRB movie throughout my third rewatch. I should've known better, because I'm not an Alex, I'm very much a Henry, and what you get instead is a VERY VERY thorough list of the things I loved in the film.

(This will have to be in two parts because I had to pause every few minutes to write shit down and it took me so long to get halfway through the film that it's bedtime now)

Alex being bratty in the limo (yes, opening scene)

Drunk Alex at the wedding, rubbing someone’s fur, chucking a canapé behind a sofa

Alex in a leather jacket 🥵

Mutters, “…you don’t wanna hear from me today”

“…article nothing of the US Constitution”

“No one in their right mind would ever give you a gun”

“You know I have a shitzu named Jonathan” and “That’s my son you’re talking about”

Shaan shoving Alex through a tree

“Hey Shaan, you think maybe I could get a little…” and Shaan's, “You’re fine”

Henry’s fake expressions, smiles, etc for the interview being so distinctly different than what we see later on are his honest ones

Alex mimicking one of Henry’s freestyle raps

“Vicky. *fists* Classic”

“Santal 33.” “It means you got good taste, Alex.”

Alex’s entire posture in the hospital closet

The way Henry laughs when he says “Oh my god it is!”

“Later, Shaan” and ✌️✌️

Alex’s flirty looks in the coffee shop (and his eyelashes)

Henry’s use of stickers on texts bc he’s a massive nerd

“I’m blocking you for the rest of the night” over Byron

Alex + orange shirt + grey shorts + thighs

Mexican textiles everywhere

Alex in a woolly grey jumper

Alex really wanting to help ❤️

Henry looking up through his eyelashes early on at NYE

“Loosen up!” and Alex drunkenly motorboating the air in front of Henry

The whole Get Low dance sequence, from Henry’s awkward dancing, to Alex’s much hotter stuff and the slo-mo, eyes meet moment

How you can SEE the moment when Alex leans in to the kiss and THAT’S when Henry panics

All Nora’s chats with Alex

Alex in a tux

Henry in a tux (lord rid me of the double breasted suits and big wide ties)

Alex pulling one of Henry’s legs up against the table in the Red Room

Henry poking at books when Amy walks in

Amy’s “Oooh God” as she runs away

“Like Stonehenge”

Henry’s smirks after “The night is young, Ma” and all the way through that scene 

The whole “Just to put it out there…” sequence

The vulnerability in “I wouldn’t mind doing this again…” and how Henry's so soft and then almost instantly pulls back 💔

The way Henry looks when he’s leaving, like he can’t believe his luck in getting to have Alex but also that he’s sure it will set him on fire and destroy him

Alex lifting Henry onto a table in the tack room

Henry hitching his hips up so Alex can pull his trousers down

“Which other famous boys have I shagged…?”

“Not here” 💔

“It’s just… who’s gonna do what?” 😂

“Hm… rigid” and the way Alex tugs on that shirt

All the little details in the Paris sex scene: Henry’s hand pushing on Alex’s back, reaching in between their two bodies to lead him in, his hitched leg… and then their expressions throughout; all the deep breathing Henry does while he adjusts

Alex’s white henley 🥵

OK, it's bedtime now! More whenever I manage to watch the second half! G'night!

(Update: here's part 2 ❤️)

[bwoahtastic]

lmao at seb making nico do volunteer work and she will do it but she'll be wearing chanel 😭 these ideas are very much based on things that nico has done irl because I love that man but my god is he weird and dramatic but also the perfect inspiration for this

-- seb wants to get involved with a river clean up in her local area and she asks nico to do it with her. nico agrees but she shows up to the river in a €3000 cream chanel blazer (irl nico has actually done a river clean up in a €4000 double breasted jacket). for obvious reasons seb thinks that nico's outfit is a terrible idea, seb herself is wearing old jeans and a flannel shirt (and she looks incredible in it), but nico somehow manages to make it work and does the whole event looking like she stepped out of a magazine. afterwards seb makes nico buy the drinks, and they have a good laugh about all the guys who fell into the river trying to impress them.

-- nico actually really enjoyed the volunteering, so when a beach clean up near to her comes around, she signs herself and seb up. seb wasn't actually going to be in the country that day, but Nico didn't bother asking, and seb eventually agrees, on the condition that nico cannot wear anything designer. nico agrees, but shows up to the beach wearing the tiniest pair of short shorts that seb has ever seen, and considering the things that seb has worn, that's saying a lot. half of the volunteers spend more time staring at nico as she bends over than they do actually working. nico pushes seb into the sea, and because seb isn't wearing a bra, everyone can see her nipples. nico claims that seb now can't criticise her because she's just as bad as nico.

Ksksk PLSS

Normally the 2 mostly race together or gossip and drink but Nico agrees to doing the river cleanup because well, she knows better than to say no to her bestie.

Seb laughing so much when she sees Nico's chanel outfit and she almost pisses her pants seeing Nico looking so proper snd perfectly styled sksks. Snd Nico just gawking st Seb looking so hot in thr cut off shorts and flannel ksks.

Nico still looking proper by the end of it snd not a speck of dirt on her and Seb is covered in mud cos zhe started a mud fight sskksks (not with Nico, she values her life thank you very much)

Nico then signing them up for the beach clean up and she buys Seb a plane ticket so,she cant say no lmao! Seb agrees cos well, its a lil holiday with her bestie and volunteering is smthn she loves! She does giggle when Nico doesn't wear designer but still wears tiny shorts and a little crop top and everyone is staring at her ass lol! And seb in those zip off pants that make Nico fake barf sksks and a white top that is very much see through after Nico pushes her in the sea aksks

It's okay, Seb loves her boobs and doesn't mind showing them off a little (not caring Christiqn has a heart attack seeing then red bull driver Seb like.thst lolol)

[she-karev]

Mama Bear (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev’s Sister Imagine)

Previous Chapter Here

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Three of Three

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Canon Season and Episode: Season 19 episode 9

AN: Hey guys, here’s the final chapter, be warned there is a pretty intense verbal fight ahead if your in the mood for a good scrap. The GIF above is Amber's outfit for the dinner party I hope you enjoy.

Summary: Amber and Andrew go have dinner with Owen, Teddy, Ben and Bailey that quickly turns sour as they fight with Altman and Hunt.

Words: 4965

January 13th, 2023

I walk out of my closet wearing my navy-blue blazer dress over my black lingerie and gold heels clacking the hard wood floors of our bedroom. My long blonde hair is down and wavy with an extra fluff to stand out. My makeup is done especially well with coral lipstick, nude eyeshadow and cat eyeliner. I’m in front of the oval standing mirror next to the closet in our bedroom putting the buttons through the loops so it can close fully. The dress is long sleeved, double breasted with big gold buttons and it reaches my knees giving me a businesswoman with style kind of look.

Andrew is still in the walk-in closet getting ready and I realize I forgot something, “Hey babe? Can you grab me a belt on your way out? It’s the gold one with a lot of circles.”

He comes out two seconds later in his blue thermal shirt with his leather jacket on and dark jeans. He tosses me the belt I asked for and I put it on completing my look sensing my husband’s eyes leering at me.

“Wow you look like a million bucks.”

I groan at how this dress is tighter on me post baby, “I feel like a million bucks stuffed inside a mini-Coach wallet. If there’s dessert we’re leaving because I’m afraid one piece of carb will make this dress pop and then Hunt won’t be mad about the ear after I gave him a peek at the goods.”

“You look gorgeous and that dress is tight in all the right areas, don’t worry.”

I walk toward him and give him a grateful kiss, “Your sweet. I wish we wouldn’t have to go to this thing but I’m desperate for human interaction even if it’s hosted by the parents of the child who bit ours. Twice.” I walk to the bed putting my things in my black crossbody still feeling mad at Hunt for allowing his daughter to bite mine again. I thought the ear pinching would soothe my anger but it didn’t.

Andrew looks at me slightly amused and slightly worried, “Will you try to behave? And leave Hunt with at least one good ear?”

I sigh but comply, “For you yes I will.” Carina walks inside the bedroom in her pajamas carrying Lucy in her arms, “Hey thanks so much for babysitting again.”

“Oh, it’s no problem it’s gonna be a fun night with me and Lucy isn’t that right booboo?” Carina babbles at the baby who stares at her blankly. She turns back to us with a smile, “I’ll call you if there’s any problems and I left the ringer on in case you call.”

I nod, “Okay I left breast milk in the fridge in case she gets hungry, she loves her little green dragon but in case she loses it we have about 10 more in the closet and I changed her about half an hour ago. Also, if she gets difficult just turn on-”

“Moana and sing along to her.” Carina repeats with a grin, “I know everything there is to know about babies cognata. Remember that you have two sister in laws who are OB’s.”

“Exactly I mean she’s basically Mary Poppins with a medical degree.” Andrew says to reassure me and turns me to face him, “She’ll be fine with her Zia Carina for the next two hours, maybe even three if we’re feeling crazy. We have about 18 years to go, let’s have at least one night as a couple instead of parents. Okay babe?”

I sigh and look at Lucy who looks content in Carina’s arms who nods reassuringly. I’m still worried but I know I need one night with my husband before I forget what I felt like pre baby, “Okay let’s hurry while I’m still brave come on let’s go.” Andrew quickly hands me my black coat and grabs the car keys. I stand in front of Carina and lean down to face Lucy with a smile, “Okay sweetie mommy and daddy will be back have fun with your Zia we love you.” I kiss her head and Andrew does the same.

“Love you bambina.” Andrew rushes me out of the house, no doubt thinking I’ll change my mind and turn around. And he was right to as every cell in my body aches with each step I take and not just from being away from my child for the night. I get the feeling that something really bad is about to happen at dinner.

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Andrew and I exited the car parked outside of Owen and Teddy’s house. I carried the roasted peppers in a glass dish that Andrew made for the Hunt’s despite my insistence it wasn’t what they deserved. He already finished making them though so it was either eat it with them or throw it away and I am not one to waste good food. We spot Ben and Bailey walking down the sidewalk a few feet away from us, also carrying a dish.

“Hey.” They greet us back, “You brought something too?”

Bailey nods with a grin, “Yes ma’am apple pie my mother’s recipe what about you?”

“Roasted peppers on olive with lots of garlic.” Andrew goads as we walk with them, “You haven’t known what true Italian dishes taste like until you tried my peppers.”

“Trust me he’s not being arrogant he’s stating facts. The smell alone takes you to the land of pasta. I just wish we weren’t sharing that with Hunt and Altman two hours after their kid bit our kids.” I bitterly add.

“Yeah, that makes two of us.” Ben agrees, “It better be a good spread they have because I am holding as much back as I can.”

“Well at least you get to drink through this nightmare.” I groan, “I’m breastfeeding and I don’t want to risk damaging my baby with copious amounts of wine and vodka laced in her milk. Unfortunately, Altman doesn’t have to worry about that because I can smell the wine in her liver already.”

Ben chuckles, “And the rage in the air when she and Hunt are in the same room.”

“If this night goes bad, can you pull a Backdraft and start a fire so we can escape the dumpster fire that is a dinner with Hunt and Altman?”

“Were our spouses this grouchy when we decided to marry them?” Andrew asks Bailey who chuckles.

“Mine wasn’t but I think we both know the answer about yours.” We stop outside the door where Andrew rings the doorbell and Owen Hunt answers.

“Ben, Bailey, DeLuca’s. Enter at your own risk.” I try to keep a pleasant face as I enter the house with Andrew where Teddy greets us.

“Come on in.” She notices the dishes we brought, “Oooh look at that.”

Bailey hands her the dish, “Apple pie, my mother’s recipe. Maybe you can think of it when you are approving budget requests for the clinic.”

Andrew chuckles, “And I brought roasted peppers to start as appetizers.”

“Thank you, you shouldn’t have.”

I fake chuckle, “No we really shouldn’t have.” I thrust the dish against Owen’s stomach roughly and he takes it with a groan. I noticed that his right ear is bandaged at the top with gauze due to my handiwork from this afternoon. The sight gives me a sick sort of satisfaction that I keep to myself and Owen clears his throat to converse with Ben instead as we hang our coats.

“Hey, I heard there were some fires down in south Seattle. You been on those?”

“Uh, no, no, no. Uh, we have a little girl now, so I sit the crazy stuff out.”

Teddy laughs, “That never stopped Owen.” I grin slightly at his wife also giving him a hard time.

Owen looks peeved but grins, “Ah, please excuse her. She's exhausted after one day of the job that you and I did for years.”

“And how did that work out for you career wise?” I ask venomously with Andrew clicking his tongue no doubt feeling awkward.

Teddy purses her lips but keeps being the host, “Wine?”

“Uh, by wine, can you mean bourbon?” Bailey asks.

“Good idea.” Owen and Teddy walk to the kitchen and we follow.

“Cheese and crackers are on the coffee table.” Altman informs us.

“Oh, fantastic.” Ben says, “I'd love a bite.” I snort at his use of that word causing Bailey to smack us both on the arm telling us to knock it off. I keep a straight face as I enter into the belly of the beast.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The tension is still in the air even as we sit comfortably in the living room waiting for the chicken to come out of the oven. We’re sitting on the couch next to Warren and Bailey with Owen and Teddy sitting across from each other in the armchairs. We’re talking about the challenges of parenthood and I try as hard as I can to keep the biting incident to myself even as I talk about what raising a baby has been like for us so far.

“I feel like a cow.” Andrew chuckles at that, “Oh you think it’s funny I’m a baby’s own personal soda fountain? Be glad you got the Y chromosome buddy because your body is still the same and you don’t have hormones to mess your mind up as well.”

“Well, I have bipolar disorder so I know a thing or two about adjusting bodies and messed up minds.”

“He’s got you there DeLuca.” Hunt tells me.

“Yeah, you don’t give an opinion here.” I snap and Hunt frowns at that as I continue, “You two ladies have already done this how long is it gonna take before my boobs come back to normal.”

“Never.” They both answer in unison.

I whimper at that, “I mean don’t get me wrong she’s my daughter, I love her and I’m glad I had her. I just really miss my perfect boxing body.”

“Hey, come on you still have it.” My husband holds my hand in comfort that I appreciate.

“How is Lucy doing anyway?” My mood turns sour at Hunt’s question, “Is she with a babysitter?”

I glare at Hunt who looks uncomfortable at my obvious disdain that Andrew notices and decides to intervene with an answer, “Um no, my sister is living with us while she and her wife are separated. She’s watching Lucy right now. I think she’s trying to fill the void of having an estranged wife with being an aunt. I mean don’t get me wrong I’m glad she’s helping I just didn’t expect to raise my baby with my wife and sister. Which now that I say it out loud is wrong and incestuous.”

“Well hey I grew up in a hell house I wish I had a hot, cool aunt to spend time with me.”

Andrew looks at me with a raised eyebrow, “Hot?”

I roll my eyes, “Come on your sister is a knockout I’m not gonna deny what’s obvious. Will I do anything? Hell no. I just think it’s nice for my daughter to have what I didn’t, someone by her side. I mean God knows there are kids in this life that are gonna attack her and make her feel less worthy than she is because those kids are either dicks or their parents are.” I turn to Hunt so he knows what I’m talking about, “Isn’t that right Hunt?”

Hunt sips his bourbon with a frown as the others sit around awkwardly after I called out the elephant in the room, “Well I’m still a little woozy from the blood loss due to my ear being pinched through so what do I know?”

“Not much as it’s been shown recently.” I grin maliciously with Andrew next to me tapping his fingers against my thigh clearly uncomfortable.

Teddy chuckles awkwardly, “Yep I definitely should have brought more wine.”

Bailey speaks up, “Okay people we are here to have dinner as friends and as coworkers but as of late some things have happened that have caused both of your families to be in the middle of a slight conflict. We need to clear the air and get it all sorted and get it out there before the oven dings because I for one am in the mood for a night without children present.”

“Absolutely, I completely agree.” Andrew nods looking at me as I stare at the coffee table for a moment before nodding, “Okay so how should we start?”

Bailey clears her throat and turns to her husband, “Ben do you want to be mediator?”

Ben coughs out his bourbon he was sipping and looks at Bailey surprised, “Me?”

“Yes you.” Bailey confirms with a ‘duh’ tone, “Diane trained you to talk to people through much more dire situations than this didn’t she?”

“She did and conflict resolution was a part of the Crisis One training.”

“Well there you go so…” Bailey motions to the four of us and Ben looks around awkwardly before starting.

“Um well you four have known each other for years and you respect each other and even consider yourselves friends so let’s remind you of that. Amber?” I look at Ben who speaks in a mediator tone, “You always say that your grateful to Hunt and Altman for saving DeLuca’s life that day because you would not have married him and had a beautiful baby girl with him if they did any less.”

I remember that day clearly as it was one of the worst days of my life. We were broken up at the time but it didn’t change how I felt about him it just changed how I viewed him. I felt terror and anxiety when I got that call and waited for five agonizing hours while he was in the O.R. when they came to me and told me he made it I felt like singing hallelujah! I am extremely grateful to them as Bailey reminded me and my resentment lessens just a tiny bit.

“…Yeah, I might have said that a time or two.” I admit.

“And we all know your not a flatterer and don’t kiss up to attendings like normal residents.” Andrew smirks at that as Ben continues, “So can we assume that came from the heart?”

I press my lips together as I admit once more, “It did.” Hunt looks at me grateful for that.

“And Hunt.” Ben turns to Owen, “You’ve expressed on more than one occasion that DeLuca when she was She-Karev was one the most promising and intelligent residents you’ve seen in her class?”

“Well there wasn’t a doubt about it.” I look at him touched, “And I’m not just saying that because Glasses was also in her class.” We chuckle at that memory.

“Okay good there we go.” Ben grins and pours more bourbon telling us he’s done to my surprise.

“That’s it?” Bailey asks and Ben looks up at us.

“We kind of thought you were just getting started.” I explain with a chuckle.

Ben shrugs, “Well Miranda wanted this spat resolved before the oven dings so I decided to rush it and besides it seems like you both got your digs in so your even.”

Teddy hmm’s, “Okay so I guess you skipped the conflict resolution part of your training. And besides Allison is three she didn’t know what she was doing biting happens. I was gonna have my husband talk to her and make sure this doesn’t happen again but as of late he’s skimmed on his adult responsibilities.”

I scoff, “The way you bite your husbands head off I can see where she would get the habit from.”

Teddy sighs, “Amber, I apologize for what Allison did and I promise you I will try to keep this from happening again.”

Andrew steps in surprising me, “Mmm that’s what you said last time and I have a feeling you were too busy hating your husband to do something about your problem child.”

Teddy stops sipping her wine to look at him offended, “What did you just call my daughter?”

“A problem child.” Andrew repeats this time sternly, “A child who is difficult to control and discipline and your kid fits that description after she bit both of our daughters. Twice.” Teddy scoffs at the insult, “Am I saying things that aren’t true or did someone else sink her little teeth into our five-month-old baby? Have our frustrations not been clear?”

“Well, your wife made her frustrations clear when she almost tore my husband’s ear off.”

“Are you jealous I did it before you could?” I coldly ask Altman who widens her eyes and I turn to Hunt to vent as well, “And you know what Hunt? You didn’t give me much choice when you weren’t willing to have an adult conversation but I guess you’d have to be an adult to do that instead of acting like a child.”

“Oh, I’m a child?” Hunt asks frustrated, “You called my daughter a devil spawn and brat does that sound like being an adult DeLuca?”

“You what?!” Teddy exclaims in shock and I turn to her ready to tear her down.

“Because she was being a brat and devil spawn!” Teddy’s mouth gapes at my brutal honesty as I continue, “How do you expect me to react when your child attacked mine?!”

“Okay people let’s calm down please.” Bailey tries to mediate but it falls on deaf ears as we’re too busy fighting.

“We apologized DeLuca you don’t want it to hear it and accept it that is on you.” Hunt coldly tells me.

“Your gonna lecture her on accountability? Really?”  Andrew asks mockingly, “You bitch every hour and every day to your wife about how you lost your job after you committed murder! You think you have the high ground when it comes to taking responsibility really?”

“That wasn’t murder!” Hunt explains in anger and I roll my eyes at him ranting again, “I did what I did to give soldiers who were denied proper medical care after serving their country and getting sick as a result the chance at a dignified death instead of slowly dying in pain in a hospital bed and leaving their families with more debt! Do you want me to be sorry for that?”

I hit a breaking point as I slap the coffee table in anger, “OH MY GOD! I…” I take a deep inhale to control myself, “You have not said one thing that none of us in this room or the hospital don’t already know Hunt so listen with your good ear when I tell you to shut up!”

Teddy speaks up, “Amber, watch the tone you use with my husband because as mad as I am at him-”

“You shut up too!” Teddy quiets and looks shocked at me turning on her now, “You’ve been bitching at him nonstop since the day you guys came back and believe me it hasn’t been easy.”

“Well, you know what I am sorry that I am angry DeLuca!” Teddy yells, “Our lawyers bankrupted us because of my husband so I am sorry if that can make a woman lash out at her idiot of a husband!”

“Oh, just say it again Teddy!” Owen yells after that insult.

I scoff at this display with DeLuca stepping in angry as well, “No Altman what you and Hunt should be sorry for is for turning into a couple of toxic, self-absorbed, rage consumed assholes that none of us can even stand to be around anymore!”

I clap in solidarity, “Preach it honey!”

Ben clears his throat as he and his wife listen clearly uncomfortable, “Okay you guys come on let’s just-”

“I mean at this point with you two fighting nonstop Allison is gonna spend a decade on a therapists couch wondering why she can’t form a healthy relationship and that will be because of you two.” Andrew scoffs and continues, “I mean is it any wonder with parents like you two why your kid is so screwed up?”

Altman sips her wine before narrowing her eyes at us, “Oh and you two want to talk about screwed up kids? I mean how do you think Lucy will feel when she finds out what genes she’s inheriting from both of your sides? Or how her daddy went insane in front of the whole surgical floor?”

“Excuse me!” Andrew bellows out next to me and I react quickly. I stood up and grabbed the glass of wine right out of her hand to throw it in her face in pure rage causing her to gasp. I’m too busy tearing Altman down to see the others’ reactions but I can guess their shocked.

“Amber!” Owen admonishes me but I ignore it.

I put the glass down the coffee table with a hard clink and point a finger at her as she processes being doused in white wine, “You will never, NEVER! Talk about my family like that or so help me Altman I will destroy you! My husband has bipolar disorder and he works hard to treat it. Yeah, he made mistakes but he tried to save a child from a human trafficker while you let the whole hospital hear you whoring yourself to a neurosurgeon while you were engaged.” Altman looks at me shocked but stays quiet, “And yeah, I’m screwed up, I’m a product of my upbringing. I’m a bitch, I acknowledge that. I had to be a bitch to survive my life growing up. A crazy mom, crazy brother, foster care, private high school I have had to be a bitch to survive all of that but now I am not a bitch for the sake of surviving anymore, now I am a bitch for the sake of my family. I know that and I am proud of that and do not apologize for how I reacted at your husband when your little brat bit my baby and when you just shamed my husband for his mental illness. And you know Altman you can judge all you want but I would rather be a protective bitch than-”

Owen tries to stop me again, “Thin ice here Amber very thin!”

I ignore him again so I can continue, “I would rather be a protective bitch than a sad, angry, pathetic drunk stuck in a dead marriage who was second choice for chief and third choice for a wife!” Altman is stunned in silence at my rant with tears glistening in her eyes that don’t incite pity in me. I turn to Andrew who is still sitting there with a blank face clearly agreeing with my rant as he didn’t step in at all. I notice Hunt barely spoke up confirming my points of her deteriorating marriage as he didn’t try to stop me while I was attacking his wife, “We’re leaving.” Andrew nods and stands up to follow me as we get our dish and coats so we can leave the house with our heads held high after the dumpster fire blew up.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We sat in the car in silence with the engine off trying to reel from the events of five minutes ago.  I exhale as my nerves die down from giving Hunt and Altman a piece of my mind. I can sense Andrew also trying to mentally recover from the dinner that never was. He’s in the driver’s seat rubbing his temples before speaking first.

“Well, that was fun.”

I chuckle lightly, “Yeah I think I really won the new chief over with that wine to her face.”

“It was a very iconic drink to the face moment.” Andrew grins and holds my hand, “How bad do you think it’s gonna be tomorrow?”

I groan at that reminder that we have to work with them tomorrow, “How about we take Lucy, get on a plane and live out the rest of our days in Bora Bora? We can run a clinic there and never have to worry about crazy white people ever again.”

Andrew laughs at that suggestion, “That would be nice but I’m pretty sure your brother and my sister would kill us for leaving them to deal with the Hunt’s who will take their frustrations on us out on them.” He leans over to kiss me in comfort, “We’ll be okay babe. I mean we’ve handled a lot worse than an angry chief. We can survive anything as long as we’re together. That’s the advantage we have over Hunt and Altman and we can handle anything they dish out at us.”

I look at him in awe over his ability to ease my worries even after I insulted the chief in her own home. I cradle his face brushing my thumb across his stubbly cheek, “I love you.”

He grabs my hand from his cheek and turns his face to kiss my palm, “I love you.” He turns to the road and starts the engine, “Are you ready for a night of Moana with Lucy while she drinks breastmilk again?”

I grin at that before an idea comes to me, “Actually can we make a stop.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door opens revealing Alex inside the house in his casual wear surprised to see us on the other side of the door holding the peppers we were originally going to eat at the Hunts. I grin at him and see Jo approaching the door holding Luna also looking at us surprised.

“Hey guys.”

“Hi.” Alex looks at the dish I’m holding and back at me, “Is there a reason you guys came to my house at 11 and brought a plate of peppers?”

Andrew tsks, “It’s a long story but basically, we need a night to hang out with adult friends and no children present. The last ones we were with were…less than welcoming.” Alex raises an eyebrow, “We’ll explain more, can we come in and eat this dish with you guys? We kind of have to fill the time somehow and your our best option.”

Jo steps forward, “Who are we to turn down free food? Come in, let’s talk in the kitchen.” I thank Jo as we entered their house feeling safer here than we did at the Hunt’s.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“And then I called her a sad, pathetic drunk who was chosen second for chief and third for wife. And then we left.” I finish telling the story as we sit around the dining room table eating the peppers with French bread and red wine that I’m not drinking opting for mineral water. We got to eating and talking once Jo put Luna down to sleep in her room. Jo and Alex look shocked at my last insult as they chew the food.

“Wow I wish I could’ve seen that.” Jo says, “So her exact words were Lucy might get the crazy gene since her dad went insane? She said that?”

“Yep.” Andrew confirms bitter as he sips his wine, “I was there and so were Ben and Bailey, you can ask them and they’ll say the same thing.”

Alex shakes his head at that clearly as mad as I was, “Now I kind of wish I took the chief job, then you wouldn’t be in danger of getting abused or fired.”

I shake my head at that, “Well to be fair how would you have known your sister was gonna go all ballistic on the chief of cardio after she insulted my family?”

“I think you let her off easy after what she said.” Jo says and I realize as a person who suffers bouts of depression she also feels triggered by Teddy’s comment like Andrew. I look at them in sympathy and decide to point out what me and Alex already know.

“You know neither of you are insane right?” I tell my husband and sister-in-law who look surprised by my change of subject, “You had mental health problems but you faced them and you’re better. It doesn’t make you weak if anything it makes you stronger.”

Alex nods holding Jo’s hand and looking at her with love and support, “Damn straight. Altman wouldn’t know how to face her problems if it bit her in the ass. Don’t listen to what she said and don’t believe it.”

Jo scoffs offended, “Well it was a new low of hers and that is saying something. It makes me wish I was there when you threw that drink in her face. I wish you recorded it.”

“It was very iconic it was like a fight at my family reunion.” Andrew says with a grin and I lightly push him, “Are you sure you’re not Italian?”

“Only by marriage.” I shove a whole slice of bread with a pepper in my mouth moaning in satisfaction at the taste and texture, “They really did not deserve these peppers.”

“Nope, not one bit.” Alex agrees with his mouth full, “It kind of makes me wish I married into an Italian family.”

Jo nods taking a bite of the bread, “Me too. So, what’s the plan after tonight? Are you gonna ask Avery for a face transformation or are you gonna take a really extended vacation?”

I sigh and remember what my husband said to me, “I don’t know but we will figure it out together. Besides what is she gonna do fire us? I’ll just go over her head and gang up on her with my attending brother, sister and husband.” They look at me amused, “It’s the one time I would use nepotism in my favor.” I hold up my water for them to clink their wine glasses against it as we enjoy this impromptu dinner party of ours.

[sachermorte]

*pretend ask about the Hetalia role play thing with your then girlfriend to get you to talk about something completely different because im curious to see what topic you will come up with*

Rating 19th Century Men's Fashion Plates (based on how likely I would be to wear the outfit)

Le Beau Monde, 1807

Starting off strong with an early century example. We have this beautiful burgundy chestnut brown in the coat, bookended by the black hat and boots. It even features a walking stick, which as we all know I need to get anywhere, and my beloved snowy white cravat. It's giving winter in a Dickensian sort of fashion, like a young Ebenezer Scrooge. Unfortunately taking off two points for those atrocious sideburns which look like the matted tails of taxidermied squirrels. [8/10]

Le Petit Courrier des Dames, 1850

Something about this feels slightly off, proportions-wise. Maybe it's because my sensibilities lie a good couple decades later in the century later, but it all just seems a bit silly. The jacket hits the wrong place at the hips and the horizontally striped pants feel entirely wrong. But I always do love a double breasted coat, and of course we give points for a cravat. But taken as a whole I'm just not feeling it. [5/10]

L’Elegant, 1853.

Now we're getting somewhere again. The plaid! The lapels! The jaunty blue and green accents! I can't get behind that hair, scalp and facial both, but if we lop off both their heads and replace them with decorative household objects then everything can be forgiven. I'm just not sure how I feel about the pairing of the vest/jacket and the pants on the fellow in the middle, but I'm sure I can chalk up any weirdness to the drawing of the pattern. [7/10]

American Fashions, 1893

That's the real shit. That's the real stuff. My great love of Victwardian men's fashion begins in the 70s and really begins to peak in the 90s. The dignified shoulders! The length of the jacket! The tie! The shoes! The binoculars, held to the eyes of a man who hates to mind his own business! A bit understated in the coloring in comparison to some other examples in this post, but that's really what you get with the time period. [9/10]

L’Elegant, 1840

I need the guy on the left in a way I cannot describe on public television. Rating expunged.

[razorsadness]

My Ancestral Homeland, Southeastern Wisconsin

Once upon a January night, I drank all the whiskey in Kenosha and almost punched three dudes.

The evening began with me donning babe-layers, black denim jacket layered in patches (Punk’s Not Dead, We Just Smell That Way) over hoodie over t-shirt, tight pants, boots; the weather was cold as shit but I wasn’t gonna wear a heavy winter coat, cos you can’t dance in a heavy winter coat. Then a slick of red lipstick, and off I went. South down Highway 32 to Kenowhere, snow falling fast from the sky and the wind blowing it across the road in swirls, me shouting ragged-voiced along with Naked Raygun: what poor gods we do make. I grabbed Beagan, and we headed to Hattrix. Hattrix is one of the focal points of the punk scene in Kenosha; it has been for years, even back when it was called The Cavern. I’d never been there before, despite the fact that I’ve been going to punk shows in Kenosha for half my life.

Hattrix is still sorta like a cave, with walls made to look like red rock, and it was chilly, damp, voices echoed and bounced through the near-empty bar. Not many people showed up, the weather was bitter-wind and snow, but there were some of us true believers there. Punx from colder climes are way more hardcore than our cousins from warmer lands, cos we have to brave polar vortexes and snow-covered streets to go out to the show. The crowd was small, but most of the people there were rad as fuck. Most of the people there, I wanted to hug or high-five - not counting those three dudes I almost punched. I got my first drink, doublewhiskeycoke (with ice, sorry), and the bartender was an old friend of mine, so he poured the double more like a triple. First drink all sweaty in my hand, a few sips in, I was feeling good, and shitty dude number one walked up to us. He squeezed Beagan’s breasts by way of greeting. He’s someone we’ve both known for years; he’s a gay guy and he thinks it’s okay to grope women and people he perceives as women because when he does it, it’s not ‘sexual.’ Unwanted touching is assault, dude, whether you mean it in a sexual way or not; I’ve tried to tell him that and he’s never listened, and I was not gonna put up with it that night. You grope my best friend and I’ll fucking drop you. Beagan grimace-smiled and backed away, someone else he knew entered the bar, and he walked away to talk to them before I had the opportunity to break his nose. I sipped some whiskey’n’coke, said ‘hey’ to some familiar faces, was about to go watch the first musician, then some punk rock fuckboy spotted my Against Me! button and made a transmisogynistic comment about Laura Jane Grace, and yeah, I wanted to break his nose, too, but instead, I said: “You’re just jealous cos she’s into girls, and you know you could never get a woman as hot or talented as she is, cis or trans.” I hadn’t even been there an hour, hell, I wasn’t even drunk yet, and I’d already wanted to fight twice, ugh. Bartender, gimme another triple-double, I’m gonna go listen to the music.

On the stage stood a solo kid from Chicago, with the ubiquitous midwest punk look: silly hairdo (half-shaved, floppy, mint green) half-hidden under a black Carhartt stocking cap, plaid flannel shirt, dirty black jeans, scuffed black steel-toe boots. They were super cute, and though I only caught the last few songs of their set, I loved the music: stripped-down, plugged-in yet kinda folky-punk, Billy Bragg-style; raw and open-hearted. I’ve become disillusioned with folkpunk as A Thing, but when I first heard folkpunk I said it was more punk than straight-up punk and I still have a deep love for us solo punx (cos I’m one of ‘em): when we get up there on stage, whether we play electric or acoustic, whether we play guitar or accordion or a fucking pickle-tub drum, it’s just us and our instruments and our voices and our hearts that we’ve made into jackets and if we fuck up everyone hears it cos we don’t have a band to back us up or distract from us and we are so vulnerable and so brave and we do it because we have to, we so need to play music that we’ll do it even without a band.

Between bands, another drink, I started feeling the whiskey and it was good, good to be whiskey-drunk, fuel and grease loosening my limbs. Going outside to smoke, collars up against the wind and hands cupped around flickering flames. Inside, talking to old familiars and new faces. I talked with the solo mint-haired punk, told them I liked their music; we talked about Chicago, turned out they live in one of the neighborhoods I used to live in. Then there was the third dude who came close to having my fist in his face - another guy I’ve known forever. He’s a decent dude when he’s sober, but when he’s fucked up he gets stupid, and that night he was drunk and on some kind of pill-high; he tried to hit on both me and Beagan and didn’t back off even when we told him we weren’t interested, and I was getting annoyed. He was saved from my wrath cos he got distracted by another old friend of ours, and he stumbled away.

The second band, I couldn’t get into. The frontman was trying so hard to be a funny, cool rockstar, and the music wasn’t my bag, so I concentrated on drinking. More rounds of drinks, rounds and round and round, more cigarettes. Then Republicans on Welfare. They were great, reminiscent of all my old favorite Kenocore bands but not totally derivative. Good, raging hardcore with a side of garage-y punk. I danced up front for most of their set, and the pit (such as it was, there were too few people for it to truly be a pit) was mostly made up of girls. A couple dudes bounced in and out, but most of the time it was us girls slamming, skanking, pogoing.  I’d run to where Beagan sat, have a sip of my drink, run back up, dance, fist in the air. I picked up the words to choruses on the fly and shouted along. Toward the end of their set, they did a blistering cover of “Blank Generation” and then I really shouted along. I love anytime a band covers that song; it was written, what, like 40 years ago and is forever the perfect anthem for anyone disaffected. I was sayin’ “let me outta here” before I was even born… It’s such a gamble when you get a face. Everything was great, the gals in the pit were so welcoming, though none of them knew me. “I love your jacket,” they said, or, “your hair kicks ass,” and we threw our arms around each other and did high-kicks like some kind of punk rock chorus line. But then, this one girl who’d been standing in the back came up near the stage to take some pictures, and she started giving me death glares. She looked at me like she thought I was trying to get with one of the band members, like she thought I had my eye on the same fella she did. I wanted to reassure her that wasn’t the case, that I was there to sing, to slam, to sweat the winter blues away. I wanted to say: “Honey, we can both do so much better than any of these boys. Let’s forget them, join forces, and smash the patriarchy.” I couldn’t shout all that over the noise from the PA, so I smiled at her, hoping that would convey my message, but that made her glare harder. It bummed me out, so, for the last couple songs of the Repubs’ set, I returned to Beagan and my booze.

When the music ended, we stayed on a while longer, drank more, stood outside smoking more cigarettes. I was drunk enough by that point that the biting wind didn’t faze me at all. I talked with this cute punk kid (mussed-up hair, striped shirt, Army-issue jacket covered in patches). He flirted with me, all: “I haven’t seen you around here before.” “Well,” I said, “I’ve never been to this bar before, but I’ve been coming to punk shows in Kenosha since 1998.” He said: “Uh, I wasn’t going to punk shows back then. I was eight.” We talked about music; I scoped the patches on his jacket and nodded at the bands I know and like. I was curious about his backpatch: “Who’s that one for?” -“Mouth Sewn Shut.” I didn’t know who that was, he told me it was the singer from Toxic Narcotic, I got stoked cos I used to love Toxic Narcotic and I didn’t even know he had a more recent band. We talked about where we were from, where we’d lived. I said I was born in Lansing, Michigan, and he said: “Oh, the Crucifucks are from Lansing. Did you ever see them back then?” -“Dude, how old do you think I am? I know I’m older than you are, but fuck. The Crucifucks broke up when I was, like, six!” He blushed and said: “I didn’t mean you were old, I’m sorry, I just, I didn’t know when they broke up, I wasn’t thinking about that!” I told him it was cool, I knew he didn’t mean anything by it.

Beagan and I went back to her apartment, stayed up until four a.m. drinking and talking. Five hours of fitful sleep later, I found my way back north. A week or so before, I’d been feeling bleak about where I was living, that old feeling that comes on when I’m unhappy with my life, like Maybe life would be better elsewhere. Maybe I should move back to a bigger city, or leave the midwest for good. What’s that one pop punk song about hating your hometown but knowing you’ll never escape it? That’s how I’d felt a week before. But that Saturday morning, driving up Highway 32, on the icy roads, along the frozen lake, I felt a deep and abiding love for southeastern Wisconsin. I thought about Highway 32, that road I’ve spent more of my time on than any other road in the world, and how I want a stick&poke tattoo of the highway sign, and how I’d like to write a whole mini-zine about that road. I thought about Kenocore, and how I’ve been thinking of writing a zine-book about the history of Kenocore for over a decade now. I thought about a conversation Beagan and I’d had the night before. We were talking about someone we knew from Kenosha who moved to Chicago several years ago and now says he’s from Chicago, as though all his years in southeastern Wisconsin never happened. “Why be ashamed of where you come from?” she asked. “I agree,” I said. “Besides, it’s more impressive when someone from a little town or mid-sized city like Racine or Kenosha does something cool. Why pretend you’re from Chicago? There are a million cool people in Chicago, but not so many in Kenosha.” I thought about the previous night’s show, and how, to paraphrase World/Inferno, the kids do still sing and dance, drink and fuck, smash it up. It’s my homeland.

—Jessie Lynn McMains, originally appeared in Reckless Chants #21 (autumn 2014), in slightly different form

[lonegun750-stories]

THE CHRISTMAS BALL

It was the annual Christmas Ball at the country club and they’d been looking forward to attending. It was the biggest and the final social event of the season. The function hall was decorated beautifully with everything Christmas. She looked amazing in her black and white evening dress with a black top outlined in black feathers that hugged her breasts perfectly. And he, the current president of the club, in his double breasted Armani tuxedo made them standouts to say the least. They had drinks and a fabulous dinner and chatted with the others at their table. Every now and then he’d steal a glance at her. She was so beautiful the way she had done her hair and makeup. They danced several times and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to how good the night was going to be with her after the festivities.

They were on their way back from the dance floor when she said she needed to go to the ladies’ room. He suggested she sneak upstairs to the administration floor where there was a bathroom with more privacy. Something in his eyes, when he said that, told her there was more to his suggestion then he let on. She went upstairs. He went back to their table, sipped his drink and shortly thereafter excused himself. Then, he too went upstairs. There were both a ladies’ and men’s room on the admin floor. He walked right by the men’s room. He knocked twice and pushed on the door. She’d left it open… did she know he was coming? He closed and locked the door behind him. She was standing in front of the mirrored counter touching up her makeup. A naughty smile crossed her lips when their eyes met… she knew!

He turned her and pulled her to him and said, “You look amazing! So damned beautiful. I’m not waiting. I need you now! I want to know that you’re carrying my cum inside you for the rest of the evening.”

He pushed her against the wall and she helped him undo his jacket and release his belt. He lifted her gown up and pulled out his completely erect cock and rubbed it on her willing entrance. She was soaked. His lips covered hers in a deep kiss and she moaned as he entered her at the same time. They fucked urgently. He had one goal… to fill her. She loved the feel of his need, the sound of his grunts that accompanied each deep thrust and how good it felt as his cock rocked her body. Their moment came at the same time and he had to break their kiss and put his hand over her mouth as she came loudly.

He loved the feel of her quivering body and muffled sounds as he exploded inside her leaving an “Oh fuck baby,” ringing in her ears.

They finished and began to straighten up. “Start to finish in only about five minutes. Now that was a quickie,” he said as he kissed her and left her to touch up her makeup.

Soon they were both back at the party chatting and dancing. No one was the wiser. No one but them!

At the end of the evening they made the short drive home. It had been a wonderful evening. He’d been a member at that club all his life. His grandfather was one of the founders and his father had been president for many years. They’d be turning over in their graves if they’d known about tonight’s little sideshow.

No sooner had they walked in the door then she took his hand and led him upstairs to their room. They kissed, and she told him to sit in the large chair across from their bed. Her eyes never left him as she opened his pants and took him in her mouth. It was incredible the way she sucked him. Her hand stroked his tightening shaft as her tongue swirled the top of his cock before her lips wrapped around it and consumed him. He got so hard and his desire went through the roof. He told her to stand up and turn around. He lifted her dress up and pushed her down over the bed and kneeled behind her, his mouth attacking her. He could taste himself. Two fingers assisted his tongue in pleasuring her until her wetness flowed from her like a river. He needed to fuck her. He pushed her down over the bed. He fucked her hard, spanked her, sometimes with one of his legs up on the bed next to her… changing the angle and power of his thrusts, enhancing her pleasure. Then he stopped and stepped back and told her to turn around. He helped her remove her dress and top and took off her bra. She laid back on the bed as he took her by the thighs and pulled her to the edge. They started to fuck hard again and she played with her clit, while he leaned over her.

As she blurted out, “Oh God I’m gonna to cum,” he pinched her nipples. He loved the expression on her face and the sounds of pleasure she made as she came. He felt her release cover his thrusting cock as his mind surrendered to his own thunderous orgasm. His cock pulsed reams of his ejaculate into her depths. The frenzy turned to calm and they rested in each other’s arms. They were totally spent. As sleep overtook them she snuggled into him, closed her eyes and smiled at the holiday memories they’d made.

[castle-dominion]

c3x23 pretty dead

This is a nostalgia song for me but it was released in 2011 so it was modern at the time. Wow. W o w...

I only rly know anything abt anything bc of the movie dumpling when some fat girl & some punk feminist joined a beauty contest. This man looks like a pimp. Kind of is Nice yellow cumberbund thing Illinois? Being french is weird. I want to say illinwa but everyone else says illanoy She;s wearing interesting clothing. Wow short with your daddy. I mean we all need to get away from home! Hey! I love the emotional b plot, it's so good to see rick as a dad who loves his daughter & supports her instead of acting like the twelve year old who can score his teacher. Odds are, someone's dead.

It's not the baron is it? Beckett outfit update: Detective clothes. Double breasted trench coat looking thing tied with a fabric belt. Her shirt is sort of crazyquilted in blocks it has colours, more pink around the waist. It is a regular collared buttonup shirt. I think I've seen her in it before too, which is nice bc I like seeing continuity. Ryan outfit update: Green sweater, dress shirt, brown normal looking coat (still professional enough), I can't tell the pants or tie bc the lighting is weird. Update: it's a light purple-tinted shirt. He's aken off his jacket in the precinct & I can see it now. The shirt has really nice collars & it's actually stripy but so light u can hardly see it. Tie is green & patterned slightly, it's like diamonds but it's also because the grain of the weave changes I think, so the way the light reflects off of it makes some of them more shadowed than others. PERLMUTTER YESSS SP: Detective. Writer.

I should call my dad. I don't talk to him enough. Glad he said he didn't actually know the time, just vaguely a little before 11; tho he could have also checked. Baron called them both detectives lol I mean yeah fair to the victim first but at the same time she's dead she won't feel it. Yeah lol I love how they're filming BTS & it might actually be a good idea to keep em on Come again! Oh no wait we don't want that. She's so silly I love her.

In the elevator scene the button for floor 4 is lit. (for floor four lol.) Homicide is on the 4th floor.

Beckett was indeed a model but not a beauty queen.

I like the one cop getting a picture with a queen oh goodness this is insane. A bunch of gals who look exactly the same all milling about this stinky bullpen & entire precinct wow & that "winners never slouch" got my mom & me to straighten our posture & celebrate the fact that she wasn't one of those moms who gave her kids eating disorders KB, whispering: CASTLE. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. JE: Beats the usual lowlifes & nutjobs  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KB: I don't know if u can say that nut jobs and beauty queens are mutually exclusive JE: Yeah, but none of them connect to the murder. I checked the sequin against all their dresses RC: I bet you did. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) JE: & none of them are a match. KB: Okay, look at the footage from the dinner. Let's make sure that the dresses we checked are the ones they actually wore. JE: Hm. Watch a parade of beautiful women in evening attire? Yeah, I can do that. RC: I bet you can. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KR: Hey. So, I've been interviewing these ladies-- RC: I bet you have. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KR: -! About their alibis last night!

clipping

Castle she's probably way too young for you

This man is gay af. I'm glad it's about more than beauty & who can buy the fanciest dress. I would honestly expect to be makeup skills, dance skills, & sewing skills more than who can afford what or even stuff like social issues. It's kind of neat how it's a talent show as well as a beauty contest. I like this guy. He seems so stressed over his gal dying. Political he says, making those motions with his hands

Black sequins? It's like the wedding video. I thought they were black sequins! I just couldn't tell if it was black bc it was so shiny.

KR: For unwanted *looks to esposito* advances Esposito ryan is telling u to stop hitting on him, he's getting married. /j btw KR, eyes wide with excitement: Oh but it gets better! *hits espt gently* JE: *barely raises an eyebrow* (he would bite castle's head off if it was him) KR: *excitedly continues to explain the drama*

Ew I hate this bobby character. Man sat on the wrong side of the table ...Goddess train...???.?.?? Who wouldn't want to ride the bobby rocket? Everyone from what we hear! Boy can't even remember?

KB: this guy's dropped more pills than a three fingered pharmacist I can't believe castle took dad advice from him Esposito just had video running on beckett's computer? (btw i figured out how to put question marks on tumblr wéo relying on copy-paste: I use my french keyboard!)

Esposito has an ass

Someone would probably pawn the fiddle, not drop it down a drain. Tho pawned can lead back to u. Captions? He said right on, not all right. KB just sits in the desk espt was just at

Oh martha is so pretty! Far right! Look at her abs! What was your talent? The way I wore a sweater. Oh poor Alexis. I love the drama. Give her a hug! I'm so glad alexis has gram there.

Ok castle, you have been divorced twice, idk if your relationship advice is that good

Parallel. It's love! Montgomery is so sweet I love him! RM: If you stayed married long enough, you'd know it's hard to stay original after the first ten. BRUH. (that was good!) JE: Yeah, he was tweeting photos of his manhood along the way. *holds up fingers close together* (won clip)

KR with a nice pastel blue sweater, plus his usual attire. I don't like that accent. KB has a nice jeanjacket with those leather sleeves. You would disrespect a beautiful & expensive instrument like that? 25 is old? Your brain has barely finished developing! Drugs?

Ah nudes.

lmao I love the sticky notes they put over them RC: Well, just because you're smart and beautiful doesn't mean you have good judgment. KB: RC: I didn't mean me.

RC: Deadly action, that's a good title JE: *looks down & shakes head in exasperation* Why would the photographer pay HER for the photos? She would be paying THEM for the session, right? Also dang she's skinny.

Boy's gay voice is so strong that my little bro thought a woman was speaking. & then I went all trans on him & explained voices. I don't even know as much as I would like to tbh. I should take singing lessons (not necessarily gender affirming voice lessons)

RM: Beckett, you're a woman, right? KB, lowkey flustered: Sir, I have no idea what to get your wife! [...] RC: The best thing to give a woman is something she said she wanted when she didn't think you were listening. RM: What if I wasn't listening? RC: Gift certificate? no honey no

JE: *turns around to watch someone's booty* "Negative" Yay she's sending ryan to meet up with him finally, keep the boys together

I like how he doesn't remember the actual name but does remember it was smth similar to jerry. Already "night before last"? Mum is always confused about how the doorone remembers everything. Sus? Sure. Lack of smth regular? Maybe. Smth normal? not rly.

Keieiper XD Every guy is a creep in the eyes of the parent. Poor becket,, look at her nearly pulling her hair out. KB: It was my own private Vietnam. Our place smelled of hairspray, perfume, and cigarettes. I'm surprised that we didn't spontaneously combust.

It's ash!!! He really does love her to go see her dad at work to win her back Long distance relationships are better than they used to be. It used to be that your man goes off to make a fortune so he can marry you but then gets attacked by pirates & becomes a pirate himself & then steals you back from kidnappers, or you go away for ten months & then come back & your wife has a kid altho I might be mixing up the birth of hercules/heracles with ulyssix/odysseus & his son who I thought might be nine years old when the man was gone for ten idk it's smth like that anyways it's better to have long distance relationships these days since back then you could send letters that take ages to get to that war zone or whatever.

Ryan's the one who said "yo" this time Ew an obsessive porn wall Ew he's hanged right behind it. they didn't smell it

Peri mortem. During death, not before, not after. Before amber? Yes Before! Now can you please move? You're in my light! (Perlmutter also has an actor who needs to know where to stand to get his light) (not clipping)

By today's standards are downright tasteful! Those convenient sticky notes Girl he's on the phone, you're asking him to do work while he's on the phone? Poor Jenny. "Sorry Babey."

RC: You know I-- I hate to interfere… AC: Since when? RC: Point taken.

Nice little magnifying glass! He got it bc beckett doesn't have one Coffee <3

Y'all agreed & knew he was a cheater? Wow this is dramatic. WOAH A VASE! Who do I need to be ashamed in front of? "take care of it"???

BOBBY STARK? Course he doesn't remember.

Strawberry oil XD ok rick

Why woulld he assume one of them was lying? Didn't they all say she was great?

He was so upset! No! (Ryan & espt had better be there) Ah yes they are. Where u going? Huh?

Good work you two! *clearing throats loudly* (Ryan's square shirt love it.) Good work you folks. Rick really is a charmer isn't he? I love it when characters are in love Dancing "That gift this morning"? sounds like sex Wait, you're serious, boss? Smile, please. That's an order. (They all smile and chuckle.) RM: Hey, you kids take care, alright? (He really is the dad of the precinct) KR: What the hell did you say to him? RC: Nothing! No, I just told him to listen to what his wife wanted. JE: Damn, Castle. KB: Castle, let me let you in on a little secret. Captain Montgomery retires all the time, just give it a week or two. He's like the Brett Favre of the NYPD. Trust me. He's not going anywhere. It's just so cute, I KNOW they are just teasing him & making him think they were mad at him> & then espt still makes that move at him lol. Making him run out of the room sideways.

She will keep showing up See you tomorrow SDFHAKSJDFHDSFD

She is such a lil genius just like my bb bro. I took an extra year of highschool lol.

So yeah good episode.