#you know my heart and trust me the same way
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Apple Of My Eye | E.M.
You and your coworker Eddie finally do something about your longtime mutual crush when he asks you out after a wild day at work — line cook!eddie x waitress!reader fluff
warnings: customer service nightmares, reader cries over it, I think that's it actually
words: 4.8k
The last thing you heard before shutting the walk-in freezer door behind you was a pan dropping to the floor and Eddie cursing loudly at no one in particular. You sat down with your back against a sack of potatoes beside the vegetable shelf.
The tears that pricked at your eyes were free to run down your face now that you were in the privacy of the walk-in. It’s always been a good place to cry or scream if you were frustrated at work.
You were slightly startled by the heavy door opening, but you knew you shouldn’t be; other people worked here too, of course.
It was Eddie walking in, looking frustrated, though his expression softened when he locked eyes with you.
“Are you okay? What happened?” He asked, letting the door close as he sat down next to you.
You scooted a bit to make more room for Eddie, but still brushed him off.
“I’m okay.” You sniffled, looking down at your feet. “Don’t you have a whole bunch of orders to fill?”
“You know I’m never too busy for you.” He replied, which earned a smile from you.
It was a true thing, Eddie would always take the time, even in the busiest of rush hours, to compliment you, or make you a special plate of fries, or just let you know that your makeup had smudged in all the haste.
He never did it with anyone else, not to the same level, at least. All your coworkers used that as proof that he had a thing for you in the same way that you did for him, but you never believed them.
“So, what’s wrong, sweetheart?”
There he goes, using that nickname that makes your heart soar. Now how could you not answer him after he asked as nicely as that?
“Some asshole got mad at me ‘cause I forgot he asked for no vegetables on his burger. He was calling me dumb and saying I’m a bad waitress and—”
“You’re not.” Eddie told you. “Don’t listen to him.”
One look at Eddie’s pretty brown eyes told you he was being completely sincere, but you were still upset.
“He was so mean, and he was kind of right.” You protested.
Eddie shook his head. “Trust me, he’s not. You’re the only coworker I can stand, so you must be doing something right. Plus you just got your degree, so you’re not dumb.”
“It was community college, Eddie.”
“More than I have. Are you calling me dumb?” He nudged you slightly as he teased, and he was finally cheering you up.
“No.” You shook your head, a bashful smile starting on your face.
“Good.” He smiled too, happy that his mission of cheering you up was complete. “Now, I would wipe your tears, but my hands are probably covered in oil so I’m gonna need you to do it for me, okay?”
You nodded and used your index finger to wipe the tears under your eyes and on your cheeks.
The line cook had his eyes trained on you when you looked up back at him, your eyes still glossy but your spirits higher.
“How are you feeling now?”
“Better.” You admitted with a soft smile. “Thank you, Eddie.”
“Anytime, princess.” He attempted to stifle a groan as he stood up, then stopped before opening the metal door. “I’ll tell Robin to cover your tables for a bit, so don’t worry about getting back to work. You can stay here as long as you want.”
After thanking him again, he flashed you a smile before exiting the freezer room.
You stayed sitting there, replaying the conversation you just had once over in your head. Once you felt you were composed, you dusted off your clothes and reentered the kitchen.
Though, as soon as you left the freezer, you could hear shouting coming from the front of house and you knew exactly who it was.
See, after Eddie left the freezer, when you were busy wiping your tears, Eddie rifled through the receipts to find exactly the guy who made you cry. Not that he needed it anyways, it was obvious who the asshole was when he walked out to the tables and saw some angry looking loser picking at his french fries.
Now Eddie was in the middle of shaming the man in front of the whole diner.
Customers had their heads turned to watch the public scolding, and all the staff had paused their duties to stare from the sides of the room as well.
“What the hell’s the matter with you? You’re a grown man and you can’t even bear to pick some tomatoes off your burger? You need to whine about the lingering taste of fuckin’ lettuce and make your poor waitress feel like shit?!” Eddie shouted at the guy you were serving. “You better give her one hell of an apology, you hear me?!”
The man nodded pathetically, clearly shaken by the cook’s rant. He probably couldn’t muster up an agreement even if he tried.
Robin, who you had stood next to while watching Eddie chew that customer out, turned to you. She hardly looked flustered at all, since she was used to the diner’s usual activities.
“And you still doubt that he likes you back.” She whispered with a smugly raised eyebrow.
Eddie looked around the room for a moment and noticed you were there. With an outstretched hand and a soft voice, he beckoned you towards him and the man at the booth.
“Sweetheart, can you come over here for a second?” He asked, ever so politely.
You obliged and walked over to him, holding your breath as the threat of crying again was still there.
Standing at the end of the table, Eddie’s gaze panned from you to the slightly terrified man sitting down.
“Now’s the time for that apology, dickwad.” Your coworker gritted.
The man struggled to look you in the eyes as he stuttered out some words of regret. “I’m sorry— Er, I’m sorry for complaining about the burger and saying all that rude stuff, too. I shouldn’t have taken out my anger on you.”
The line cook looked over at you, gauging your reaction. “How was that?”
You nodded and flashed him a tiny smile, then told the customer that you accepted his apology.
“Good.” Eddie declared. “Now I’ll go make you a plain, boring burger. And if you’re really sorry then this pretty girl better see a damn good tip when you finish your meal, got it?”
The man nodded meekly once again, and Eddie seemed satisfied with that. He walked back on over to the kitchen while you made your way to your other tables, and the rest of the diner resumed eating and conversing—definitely discussing what just happened.
For the rest of his meal, the man was nice to you. Avoidant for sure, but nice nevertheless. And when he paid, he left a whopping twenty dollar tip and left in a hurry.
Now that the lunch rush was over, you checked the kitchen for Eddie, then Jonathan informed you that he was out back taking a smoke break.
You thanked him, and headed to the back exit of the building where you knew the cook spent a part of every shift. Sure enough, he was standing right next to the door with a cigarette in hand.
“Hey, princess,” Eddie said, exhaling a cloud of smoke away from you. “what are you doing back here?”
You smiled at him and fished the twenty dollar bill out of your pocket to display it. “That guy you yelled at left me a pretty nice tip. Here, it’s yours.”
He shook his head and held out a hand to gesture that he couldn’t take it. “No way, you deserve it. Fuckin’ least you should get after having to deal with that asshole.”
You laughed at his dismissal and tried offering again.
“Come on, you practically mugged that guy to get this money, you have to take it.”
He looked at you with a slight grin, but you couldn’t decide if his expression was that of smugness or entertainment.
“You can hold out that cash until your wrist falls off, I won’t take your money.”
You let out an exasperated sigh, sincere but still purposefully overdramatic. You put the bill back in your apron and quickly counted out ten ones that you had earned from other tables, then held those out instead.
“You should at least have half. I can’t let you leave with nothing. If you don’t take it now, I’ll follow you around all day, begging you to take it.”
Eddie cocked his head to the side and smiled. “As tempting as that is, sweetheart, I can’t steal you away from your job like that. I’ll take that money, but I’ll be spending it on you.”
Your heart fluttered at Eddie’s flirting, which was far less subtle than usual. You had to bite the tip of your tongue to prevent yourself from grinning ear-to-ear.
He reached out to take the cash, but he was still grinning mischievously.
“With my half of the cash, I wanna take you on a date, if you’ll let me.”
Holy shit. You never thought he’d ask. And you had expected even less that he would ask in such a gentlemanly manner. Eddie was the type of guy to accidentally tell his boss to fuck off after coming into work hungover, not use the phrase ‘if you’ll let me’.
“I’d like that.” You responded, way more chill than you had expected your reaction to be. “Anything you have in mind?”
“You trying to expose the fact that I’ve thought about this before?” Eddie smirked, which in turn caused you to blush even more than before. “What time do you get off work tonight?”
“Seven, and you?”
“Same. We can rent a movie and I can make you dinner at my place?”
Shit, Eddie thought, I don’t remember the state I left my trailer in.
He tried recalling how messy he left his home, quickly so he could take back the offer if needed.
“Yeah, sounds great.”
Too late now. But as nervous as he was for you to walk into his trailer and see a bunch of dirty dishes and laundry piles, the feeling of glee he felt because you said yes was trumping that a hundred times over.
“Perfect.” Eddie said, stamping out his burnt cigarette. He opened the door back to the restaurant and held it open so you could go first. “After you.”
“Thanks.” You said, barely able to hide your giddy grin. “I gotta get back to my tables, but I’ll see you at seven.”
You both parted ways with matching smiles, hoping the rest of your shifts fly by faster than usual. For the rest of the day, you seemed to have an extra pep in your step while you waited tables.
As seven o’clock approached, you passed off all your tables to other coworkers, told Steve and Robin you wouldn’t need a ride home, and headed to the washroom to fix your hair and touch up your makeup.
Once you were satisfied, you headed to the locker room, where Eddie was standing casually against his own locker. His bored expression morphed into a bright look when he saw you walk in.
“Hey.” Eddie said as you opened your locker and put away your apron. “Ready to go?”
You nodded, and he opened the door for you once again. Such a gentleman when he wants to be.
“So, any movie ideas?” He asked as you both got into his van.
“Something fun.” You told him. “Maybe something like Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Splash?”
“Anything you want.”
For the ride over to the video store, you listened to the radio—a station with both pop and rock—and chatted about everything under the sun.
Once you got to Family Video, you headed towards the comedy section whereas Eddie got distracted by a display of staff picks near the front. He called your name, and you turned around to see him holding up The Texas Chain Saw Massacre with a simper.
“This can be fun, don’t you think?”
You shook your head. “Not if we’re eating tonight. I’ll throw up everywhere. And that’s not the kind of thing that earns a second date.”
He put it down and walked towards the aisle you were standing in. “So you’re already thinking about a second date, huh?”
You rolled your eyes and went back to browsing the shelves. Your eyes landed on a familiar favourite, so you grabbed it and held it up to show Eddie.
“Clue, huh?” He raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said you couldn’t do murder movies?”
“No, I just said I couldn’t do that one. This one is hilarious and agreeable.”
“Alright. Hand it over, I already promised to pay for whatever you want.”
You give the tape to him like he asked and you both walk over to the cashier, a teenager who looked extremely disdainful about his job. Eddie pulled out some of the cash you had made him take earlier and placed it on the counter.
Once the transaction was over, you thanked both Eddie and the bored worker, then you headed back out to Eddie’s car.
“So, what meal are you going to spend the remaining five dollars and something cents on?” You asked him, buckling yourself as he rolled out of the parking lot.
Eddie always hated his seatbelt, but he put it on after you—’cause of that damn new law they put in last year.
“I’ll put that in my pocket and save it for the next date. I already have all I need for dinner at home.”
You hummed, slightly surprised.
“What?”
“Nothing.” You shrugged. “I just wouldn’t have pegged you as a chef outside of the diner. You always seem like you’re done with cooking forever when you clock out.”
“You’ve got me there.” Eddie responds. “I only cook at home when it’s for someone else. When I’m alone, my meals are mostly toast and canned pasta.”
“So who else were you planning on cooking for? You said you have all those ingredients.” That was half teasing, half genuinely curious about Eddie’s personal life.
“My uncle, actually. I cook him dinner once a week, mostly ‘cause it proves to him that I can eat healthy.”
“That’s really sweet.”
“What can I say?” Eddie shrugged dramatically. “I’m just a sweet guy.”
Once you arrived at Eddie’s trailer, he was relieved to open the door and see that his place hadn’t been left in shambles. The place wasn’t as neat as he would like for a first date—especially one with you—but it was good enough.
“So, this is it.” Eddie said, arms outstretched like a real estate agent. “You want a tour or is that just for stuffy old people?”
“I’ll take a tour.”
Eddie was kind of hoping you didn’t say that. The trailer was small and he was a little embarrassed. But he supposed it was his own fault for asking in the first place.
“Alright. Here’s the living room, it’s where I smoke and watch TV.”
You let out a giggle at the bluntness of his tour. He was glad his joke (half-joke) didn’t fall flat.
“And you can follow me three feet to the kitchen, which is where I make good meals for others and crap for myself.”
He opened a cupboard full of canned food and snacks for the realtor effect, then did the same with the fridge. He waved a hand near it like a magician showing off a box that no longer contains a woman in a sparkly leotard.
“We can then move on to the bathroom. It’s got a shower with mediocre water pressure, a pretty average toilet, and a sink that’s covered in toothpaste—don’t look at that, actually.”
You kept walking to the only other real room in the trailer, his bedroom. It was about the size of the kitchen area, and it was very distinctly Eddie. All the walls were covered floor-to-ceiling in posters for metal bands and movies he likes, every surface was covered in snack boxes and ashtrays, and he had one incredibly cool guitar hanging in the middle of his wall.
After staring at the room for so long that you probably had at least one wall memorised, you and Eddie both realised you hadn’t spoken in a while.
“This is where the magic happens.” Eddie said, not quite as smoothly as he was going for.
“The magic?” You teased.
He thought for a second, then clarified. “Not that kind of magic. I just make music and write Dungeons & Dragons campaigns.”
“That can be pretty magical.” You shrugged.
“Yeah, but not as magical as the dinner I’m about to make for you. If you’re not excited already, you should start.”
You both left his bedroom and Eddie instructed you to relax in the living room and turn on the TV to something you could use as a backdrop while Eddie cooked.
While he made dinner, you sat comfortably on his couch and chatted with him from the other room. You got to know each other, more than you do at work. Eddie told you about his band and how they play at The Hideout, you told him about your time at community college and your friends outside of the diner.
“Alright, soup’s on.” Eddie announced, setting two plates on his kitchen table and inviting you over. “Actually, it’s not soup, it’s chicken parm.”
“I appreciate the clarification.” You sat down in the seat closest to you. “It looks good. Smells amazing too.”
And it really was as amazing as it seemed. Although you were no stranger to Eddie’s cooking, all you’ve ever had made by him was diner food. Of course, the diner food was great, but this was another level. You weren’t sure what set it apart; maybe it was just the quality ingredients and lack of yelling while cooking.
Once your plate was almost empty, Eddie asked if you wanted dessert too. You were slightly confused as you hadn’t seen him make any dessert to go along with the meal, but you agreed anyway.
“Did you make dessert?” You asked after he stood up.
“Nope, but I’ve got all the ingredients, so I can make it now.”
“Oh.” You suddenly felt bad, even though he already offered and went through with making you food. “Well, I don’t want to put you out. We can just watch—”
“It’s okay. I don’t have the ingredients for anything fancy. Just the simple stuff.”
That made you feel a little better. You were still curious, but for a different reason now. What could Eddie make quickly to pair with that fantastic dinner.
You watched as he pulled out Oreos and gummy worms. Was he making a child’s favourite snack as your dessert?
“What are you planning there?” You asked him.
Then you saw him open the fridge and pull out chocolate pudding cups, then it all clicked in your head.
Holy shit. Worms and Dirt.
That was absolutely not what you were expecting, but it was definitely a welcome surprise.
“I was thinking about just serving up sliced apples and peanut butter along with some cheesy pick-up line like ‘you’re the apple of my eye’, but I figured that would scare you away.”
“I don’t think that would scare me away.” You told him. “In fact, I would have found it cute. But I’m happy with the pudding.”
Eddie was quite flattered by that, though he tried hard to not let it show. You could definitely see a blush on his cheeks and the corners of his lips turning upwards, as much as he covered it up.
“You ever had Worms and Dirt?” He asked, opening up the Oreo pack.
“Yeah.” You answered from your seat at the table while he scraped off the cookie filling. “My mom used to make it for me when I was a kid.”
Eddie stopped preparing the food for a second as he turned and gave you a genuine smile.
“Me too.”
After that, Eddie went back to making the dessert, the happy expression still lingering on his lips.
“I’m almost done, do you want to pop the movie in while I’m finishing up?”
You nodded, then waltzed over to the living room to start up Clue. While the opening credits rolled, Eddie took a seat next to you on the couch and spread out a couple bowls and several pudding cups on his coffee table.
He handed you a spoon and gestured to the setup in front of you two.
“I figured we could do like a make-your-own thing, just ‘cause I always find one is never enough, and then you can choose your portions, you know?”
You hummed in agreement. “It’s a pretty good idea.”
Eddie then pointed to the bowl in between the cookie crumble and gummy worms. Inside that one was the creme filling he had just scraped out of the Oreos.
“Oh, and that’s for you.”
Just like Eddie earlier, you were super flattered but didn’t want to show your cards. You thanked him for saving you the best part, and then the two of you made your desserts and brought your attention to the movie.
Somewhere along the way while watching it, you and Eddie had moved from your spots on opposite ends of the couch to meeting somewhere in the middle, wrapped up with each other.
You were pressed against his side with a hand on his back and an arm around his abdomen. He had his arm slung around your shoulder, and you liked it. He liked it too. And truth be told, you had both pictured yourself before in this exact position—among others.
As Wadsworth dramatically ran through each murder and event of the night, Eddie subtly looked down to see your entertained expression trained on the TV screen.
Even though Eddie quite liked the movie you were watching, he liked you more. He was trying to think of a way to make a bigger move on you instead of actually paying attention.
He was about to do it too. Just as his hands started to wander, there was a knock at his front door that caused you both to back off of each other and turn your heads that way.
“It’s probably just some kid looking for weed. I’ll be back in a second, you don’t need to pause it.” Eddie told you as he stood up.
“Okay. Hurry up or you’ll miss the ending!” You told him.
He opened the door and sure enough, it was a kid looking for weed. Some high schooler, maybe seventeen years old. In one hand, he had a couple crumpled bills, and the other one was in his pocket.
“Someone told me to come here for… stuff.” The kid said to Eddie.
“Okay, how much do you want?” Eddie replied.
The boy looked confused, thinking it through.
“I don’t know.” He finally answered. “I was just told to bring money.”
“Okay, well I’ve got someone over and you’re wasting my time a little bit. How about you just hand me that money, and I’ll bring you whatever that’s worth?”
“Okay.”
The kid handed over the cash and Eddie told him to stay at the door while he counted the money and walked over to his bedroom.
He came out with a small baggie in his hand and flashed you a quick apologetic grin before facing the kid again.
“There you go. Enjoy.”
Eddie shut the door behind him and walked back to the couch to sit with you again, just as the movie was wrapping up.
“I’m sorry about that. I was hoping tonight could go interrupted, but that’s never the case, right?”
“Yeah, it’s alright. I didn’t know you still dealt.”
The staff at the diner was pretty close-knit, and you had heard lots about Eddie selling drugs in high school, but you had figured that was in the past. You weren’t judging, though. People do what they can to pay the bills—you were both working in a diner at the edge of your crappy town, you know all about that.
“I don’t really. Just from time to time, I guess.” Eddie shrugged. “Does that bother you?”
“No. Everyone’s gotta do what they can in life. I don’t have a problem, as long as you’re okay with it.”
“Cool.”
You both just looked at each other for a second, not sure what to say now. Eddie missed the perfect opportunity to make the move he wanted to make on you earlier, and now the movie was over.
You both silently cursed yourself for not doing what you really wanted to do earlier, but the mood was interrupted by a kid at the door wanting to get high.
Although you wanted to stay at Eddie’s place for longer, you knew the night was coming to a natural end.
“I should probably get home soon. I have work in the morning.”
Eddie was mentally kicking himself for not doing anything earlier, but he definitely wasn’t going to try and convince you to stay since he was aware how that could make him seem.
“Yeah, okay. I can drive you home.” He stood up and grabbed his car keys from the counter. “You know, Steve’s probably already getting his beauty sleep or something.”
You thanked Eddie and strolled over to him, who was holding the door open for you.
The two of you walked out to his van, and you slid into the same seat where you had begun the evening. Eddie sat down next to you and flashed you a quick smile before starting the car.
The ride back to your place was, for the most part, quiet and awkward; it was a sad change from the chemistry you were feeling just an hour ago.
When you arrived back home, Eddie stopped the car, but you spoke before you got out and the night would be officially over.
“Thanks for tonight, Eddie. I think we should do this again.”
He looked flustered for a moment. It was no more than a second, but you caught it anyway.
“Well, thanks for saying yes, sweetheart. Are you doing anything Sunday?”
“I have a shift in the morning, but I’m done by the early afternoon.”
“Perfect.” Eddie smiled. “I’ll think of something for us to do then.”
You unbuckled your seatbelt as you badly masked a grin.
“Okay. It’s a date.”
Eddie opened the door on his side, and so you followed suit.
“You want me to walk you back?” Eddie offered.
You stood a foot and a half away from Eddie beside his van and looked back to your apartment building.
“Steve and Robin are probably pressed against the peephole right now, so I don’t know.”
Eddie ran his hand through his hair and shook his head amusedly. “Ah, I see. You’ve already got people looking out for you?”
You hummed, biting your lip softly.
“So…” You trailed off.
“So?” Eddie raised an eyebrow.
That’s when you finally took your chance. You leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Eddie’s cheek, just by the corner of his mouth.
You backed away, and Eddie seemed flustered but happy, so you knew it went well.
“Thanks again. I’ll see you at work, yeah?”
“Yeah.” Eddie said quietly. “See you.”
It wasn’t often that Eddie flustered like that. Usually he was calm and collected, or at least yelling, if we’re talking about being in the kitchen at the diner. But very rarely did Eddie blush, and that’s exactly what he did after you kissed him.
He guessed that it made a lot of sense that you could be the one to make him feel things that no one else can.
Eddie watched as you walked over to the front of your building and gave him a wave before going inside. His thoughts were moving so fast, he can’t even remember if he waved back. Damn, he hopes he waved back.
Then, as soon as you were inside and you were both out of each other’s sight, Eddie had to let out his excitement. He took a step out and threw his head forward, shouting at the top of his lungs.
He stopped the moment he realised you might be able to hear him, and quickly went back into his van. Then he started shouting inside the privacy of those metal walls.
Eddie was really excited about seeing you tomorrow.
Little to Eddie’s knowledge, you were just as excited as him, if not even more.
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#line cook!eddie munson#line cook!eddie#line cook!eddie x reader#line cook!eddie x waitress!reader#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson au#eddie munson fluff#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things imagine#stranger things au#apple of my eye
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I debated if I wanted to mock this post/screenshot for a couple hours and i decided I was just gonna go in line by line and dissect it
"being poly is a choice you make. not an identity you cannot change."
I disagree. I struggled with this through most of my teens and early twenties. The desire to be with multiple people was strong and the concept that I couldn't be with all of them was very confusing and hurtful not just to me, but the people I was with. Had I been taught what polyamory is younger and had known that monogamy is not actually the only way you're allowed to be, i'd have probably been able to stop struggling with this much sooner. Do I think this was as big of a mental struggle as being gay or trans? Nah. But it was certainly an issue that ate away at me.
As much as polyamory was a choice, so was me being trans was a choice. I would say both are inherent to who I am. Just because something isn't inherent to your identity, doesn't mean it isn't inherent to mine.
The second paragraph is a gross misinterpretation of what was said. I said abused poly people in relationships they cannot escape will likely cheat when they do find love. The same is true for monogamous people who cannot escape relationships. This happens all the fucking time. To women. To gay people. To trans people. To poly people. This is so utterly common it's an overused trope in story telling.
"OBVIOUSLY abusive situations aside"
The post was about abusive situations. You're already throwing away the core concept to the post.
"why are you staying with someone you are completely incompatible with"
This shows how this person has no value for relationships. Just because you realize you're poly doesn't mean your feelings for an individual disappears. You want to see if this relationship can still work, whether monogamous or polyamorous. Not to mention so many people would find themselves homeless or penniless by just leaving. There's no actual understanding of love and relationships and the heart here.
"you don't need to pursue any kind of relationship ever"
And gay people don't have to be in gay relationships. Trans people don't have to transition. Doesn't change the longing to experience what you want to experience.
"where exclusivity is agreed upon"
I know poly people who entered relationships under the premise the other person was poly, just for that person to decide "actually I'm monogamous, and I'll kill myself if you leave me." You have no understanding or empathy.
"wanting to be poly does not excuse cheating what is wrong with you people"
Look I agree cheating sucks and violates trust, but acting like it's the worst thing in the history of ever is just childish. I get it hurts but at the end of the day, you do not own another person's body and sometimes shit happens. I just do not care what other people do with their own bodies and you cannot make me believe I'm supposed to care. If my husband goes and fucks someone without my permission (which he commonly does) then that's rad. I hope he has fun. If my wife goes and fucks someone I don't know (which she regularly does) then fuck yeah I hope they both had fun. Y'all are too fucking uptight.
Also the tags
The "monogamous people are losers and shouldn't get a say in anything" was something I said in reply to a heckler on my 'monogamous people often abuse poly partners' post. To take it solely as 100% serious opinion is foolish and childish.
"I cheated cuz waaa"
I've never cheated on any partner. The post isn't even saying it's ok cheat, it's saying that poly people get branded as cheaters whether they do or don't. But I'll say it here just because it's so controversial that it pisses losers off: it's ok for polyamorous people to cheat on monogamous partners. Get out before they abuse you.
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I have an extremely wild theory about the ending...
So...
PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO >>>POTENTIALLY<<< SPOIL SOMETHING FROM THE FINALE!!!!
I WARNED YOU!!!
I'm not going into too much details, since I don't have too much time because of my work. 😭
So let's start with Ekko:
We already know that the key character of Act 3 is him, whose unique ability is to turn back time. From the previous part, we also know that Jayce has tried to kill Viktor before, but every time so far, he has failed.
I think what Jayce and Ekko are trying to do in ACT 3: comes from the same root, but in very different ways – much like how their characters have always been, with parallels to each other throughout the series from the beginning. (the poster above is also telling)
We’ve also seen countless scenes from Act 3 that were quite significant hints... I haven’t pieced all the anchor points together yet, but my theory is that many characters will die in the final ARC — including Ekko, who will most likely make one last attempt to rewind time so the sisters can succeed.
We already have this screenshot from Reed. And It's from s2ep9. Behind Ekko it's some kind of machine, I believe it's a time machine, but not for rewind seconds, but for more... So much more. And they built it with Heimerdinger together.
This environment and this machine also appears in these scenes from the trailers:
Also in the recent teaser Vi says this.
I mean c'mon, It can't be more obvious than this at this point.
Also I noticed something while I rewatched this trailer:
https://youtu.be/Sl-xmZTH6GE?si=rW5vFHJUWm0ECD6p
Parallels and flashbacks were deliberately included. I think those will be the key points for the time travel.
The fate of the characters from a dramaturgical perspective... Well, I think many main character will die, What will make the stakes of the siblings' success even more important.
Yeah... Almost ALL characters except the sisters.
For example:
Caitlyn... I think Caitlyn may not die by Ambessa's hands but there is a possibility. But either way she will die. But one thing for sure: her final act will paves the way for the siblings to succeed. This makes her redemption arc finalized. Ambessa also planted this idea in Caitlyn's mind. Sacrifice . (Maybe the only thing truly worth learning from Ambessa about leadership, though not in the way Ambessa intended it to be understood.)
And for Vi... Yeah, she will watch yet another person she loves and cares about die. The Arcane writers seem to enjoy making her suffer....
Since the story revolves around the two sisters, they will finish the story, as they started.
THE LAST DROP
So the final scene probably will be about the sisters and the final sacrificing. Many say, Jinx don't need a redemption, but I think everyone deserves one in one way or another.
.
.
It has been hinted - or a fact from episode one that Jinx/powder ruins everything. She got her second name because of this. It's her character.
“Vi always used to say, I can fix anything... Before I broke everything.”
But why is it like this? What is it based on?
I think the 'last drop' will be foreshadowing of the first season, where she tried to save everyone, but nearly everyone ended up dying.
Why this would be any different?
I think what moslty form Jinx is how many people 'believe' in her.
Jinx and Powder, as appeared in a methaphore in Season 2, Episode 6, symbolize a coin with two sides. Both sides exist within her, but which side prevails depends on the events that unfold.
In Season 1, Episode 3, Vi allowed her heart to be influenced by the protective love she felt, which prevented her from trusting her sister.
That's why I believe that this will not just be Jinx's redemption, and not only will it rewrite her story, but also Vi’s. Vi, whose personality is so protective that she often doubts everyone else - (including Caitlyn), will have to learn to let go of this feeling and trust others, even if it means there's a chance her sister might die.
So what's my prediction?
So, if I wasn’t clear enough, (since English isn’t my native language and there are so many things in my head at all once that I want to express but I don't have time for more 😭)
My theory is that the siblings will eventually bring everyone back to life, but it will come at a cost, and I think Jinx will be the one to make that sacrifice.
But her death will not be a sad thing from her perspective, she will be finally free from the burden and suffering she felt, also she will be free from her demons as well.
.
.
As for the fate of the other characters I mentioned here, I can’t say for certain. Unfortunately, due to the 10-image limit, I couldn’t attach more visuals, but I believe Ambessa will die at the hands of the Black Rose. This is foreshadowed quite well in the intro: first, we see Ambessa crushing the rose, then a petal falls, but we don’t actually see her destroy it completely. Later, we see her daughter stepping in to take her place, reaching for the same rose while petals are scattered on the right-hand side, symbolizing Ambessa.
I think this story arc will continue in future *Arcane* series.
As for Sevika, it’s pretty clear that Viktor will transform her after her death and bring her back to life. That’s how she’ll end up with another cool new arm. (The new Sevika poster is literally titled “Armed and Ready,” by the way.) She’ll probably try to incite the Undercity against Piltover again, which is why we see in the trailer that Piltover is fighting Zaunite civilians.
My other theory for Sevika (Or a continuation of the above, perhaps a combination of the two. ) is that Singed will make her a new prosthetic to her... And it’s also possible that through Singed Savika will side with Ambessa.. Since Ambessa is very good at seeing what people need and how to manipulate them, she might offer Zaun's independence in exchange for her help.
From Corin Reveck’s side – He will succeed in bringing his daughter back to life (Orianna), and I think this is no longer in question... After nearly everyone in the series has suffered the consequences of his actions, directly or indirectly... One might hate this character, but he is the perfect example of someone who would do anything, sacrifice everything, and set the whole world on fire (and does) for the love of his daughter. He is fully aware that he has become a monster, but he doesn’t care.
From Viktor's perspective... I'm not sure what his story will be. Perhaps the fact that they’ve saved each other’s lives multiple times with Jayce will become a symbol that ultimately, they will end up taking each other’s lives together. At some point, there was a possible foreshadowing of this when the creators depicted a "Memento Mori" between the two characters in season 1, when they were at the place where they tried to jump separately. A "Memento Mori" is an optical illusion where the combination of various elements forms the image of a skull, symbolizing death and the transience of life.
Overall, please take all of the above writing as just a theory; many parts may not turn out this way, and in fact, nothing might happen as I’ve suggested. Have fun!
And yes, I know my post turned out quite long despite saying I don’t have time, but believe me, if I did have time, it would be about six times longer, with all the references and every thread detailed in full.
#arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi#vi#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#vi arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane discussion#Arcane act3#viktor arcane#jayce talis#sevika#sevika arcane#Jinx#jinx arcane#jinx and vi#ekko#ekko arcane#timebomb#mel medarda#ambessa medarda#corin reveck#heimerdinger#arcane theory#christian linke#amanda overton#arcane writing
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happy fuckin' birthday
pairing: jihoon x reader (afab)
warnings: kissing, swearing, suggestive towards the end so MDNI, bad bad ideas
word count: 1.2k
a/n: happy birthday to my girlfriend, husband, princess, the real love of my life, lee jihoon. idk what id do without you, my loverboy. everyday im so grateful you and me exist in the same timeline. please always be happier than me <3 (lowercase intended and not beta)
the fast bustling and the faint smell of coffee, which once felt intimidating, now feels like home. it’s been 8 months since you were last here, and god, you missed this. the overseas project took longer than anticipated, but none of that matters now that you’re back with the one you love. you slowly make your way to the floor where his studio is, trying to be as lowkey as possible. see, the thing is, you were supposed to arrive a week later, but the project wrapped up early, and there was no reason for you to stay away from your lover on his birthday. cue a last-minute birthday surprise which only you and his manager knew about.
when the elevator opened on his studio floor, you came face to face with none other than kwon soonyoung. soonyoung is a close friend, but you knew his hyperactivity would give away your plans in a second.
“yn, what are you—”
“shhhhhhhhhhh!” you shushed soonyoung, pulling him into the elevator and pressing the button to the top floor.
“dude, what the hell are you doing back so early?”
“jihoon’s birthday. the project wrapped up, and there was no reason for me to miss it,” you explained and saw a smile creeping up on your friend’s face.
“so, i’m guessing he doesn’t know?”
“nope. i planned this so last minute i’m not even sure if he’s free today.”
“he’s free. working as usual,” soonyoung rolled his eyes, “but i think i have an idea.”
“uh-oh.”
“so your great idea was to tell everyone except jihoon that i’m here? way to keep things lowkey, soonie,” you rolled your eyes, trying to figure out which idea would involve all 12 of jihoon’s members and his manager.
“nooo,” he dragged out the 'o', “the great idea is that we will distract him and sneak you into the studio where you can hide. then, once we leave, you can surprise him!”
“or give him a heart attack and an early death, which would be one hell of a birthday gift,” seungkwan commented, side-eyeing soonyoung.
“well, do you have a better idea?” seungkwan slowly shook his head no. “that’s what i thought. anyways, yn, trust me—he will like this.”
you gave his idea a second thought. well, it’s not like you had something better in mind anyway.
“god, this better work, soonyoung, or i’ll have your head.”
so the idea was indeed stupid.
the plan was that jihoon’s manager would first enter the studio to discuss next week’s schedule, and once he gave you a thumbs-up, the members would all file in and ‘discuss the latest album.’ 12 men filing in to talk at the same time about the same thing? totally not suspicious.
but somehow, this was the best bet you had. so now you were outside the universe factory with the members, waiting for jihoon’s manager to give a thumbs-up. after what felt like an eternity (it was 5 minutes), his manager emerged and gave a subtle thumbs-up.
this was truly starting to feel more and more stupid as the plan progressed.
“everyone ready?” whispered mingyu, and the others nodded in confirmation. slowly, they all started to file in, and you heard them greet jihoon. once all of them were inside, you slowly peeped in to see them form a subtle wall between jihoon and the back of the couch where you were planning to hide.
slowly, you crept in, crouching low and making your way toward the back of the couch. you heard the boys discuss concepts and styles they wanted to try out for the new album. from this angle, it looked like jihoon was undergoing an intervention, and you stifled a small giggle at the mental image. after making sure you were hidden properly behind the couch, you slowly peeked out from the side to see jihoon between jun’s and dino’s legs.
god, he looks so pretty, were your first thoughts. it had been 8 months since you last saw him in person, felt his touch, and kissed his lips. you wanted nothing more than for this plan to be over so you could kiss your boyfriend. you slid back into your hiding spot and texted soonyoung that you were in place. you heard his phone buzz and received a thumbs-up in response.
the members slowly started to wrap up their ‘discussion’ and leave the studio after making some kind of excuse. if jihoon noticed their weird behavior, he sure as hell didn’t comment on it. once all the members left, you slowly peeked out again to see jihoon turned to his computer with his headphones in place. you could hear the loud bass from his headphones and made a mental note to reprimand him about it later.
you crawled from your hiding spot toward jihoon’s chair. from your position, you saw seokmin, soonyoung, and seungkwan hiding behind a partially obstructive door, phones already recording. you quietly rose to your feet, making sure not to touch anything that could alert him to your presence. you leaned down and pressed a small kiss to his cheek.
“happy birthday, baby.”
jihoon jumped from his chair, arms raised to fight whoever broke in. his sudden movement shook you off balance, and you grabbed his now discarded chair to stabilize yourself.
“calm down—it’s me!” you exclaimed, giggling at his confused face.
“y/n,” jihoon blinked, lowering his hands, “what..? i don’t...?”
you heard booseoksoon giggling outside and yelled at them to leave you two alone. once you heard the door click shut, you got closer to jihoon, pressing another kiss to his nose.
“yes, y/n, you dork.”
“you’re here.”
“mhm.”
“you’re actually here? i’m not, like, hallucinating or anything, right?” jihoon blinked, trying to figure out what was happening, making you giggle.
“yes, yes, i’m actually here.”
upon hearing this, jihoon grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer, nuzzling his face into your neck. “what are you doing here? you’re supposed to be back next week.”
“well, you see,” you hugged him tighter, “i finished the project early and had a lovely guy waiting for me on the other side of the world. and i wanted to celebrate his birthday with him.”
“you did this all for me?” he breathed out.
“of course. who else would i do this for?”
jihoon shook his head, falling back into his chair and dragging you to straddle him.
“god, i fucking missed you,” he said, pulling you in for a heated kiss.
all the months of missing, yearning, and longing manifested in desperate kisses shared between the two of you. you slid your fingers into his hair while his found home in the curve of your waist, pulling you into him. jihoon slid his tongue into your mouth while you started to slowly grind yourself against him. he let out a moan, prompting you to keep grinding, feeling yourself heat at the core. jihoon’s moans grew louder as you felt him harden below you.
“wait,” you pulled back breathless, “not yet.”
“mhmm..?” jihoon made a confused sound at the lack of contact. his eyes were blown with desire, and his fingers held you close, almost as if he were worried you’d disappear.
“i want to give you your first birthday present,” you smirked mischievously, getting off his lap and kneeling in front of him.
“what are you...oh.”
jihoon leaned back, a sigh escaping his lips. “well, happy fucking birthday to me.”
and after a series of birthday ‘gifts,’ it was indeed a happy birthday.
a/n: heh sorry for teasing but I really do wish 100000/10 that jihoon gets the best birthday head he deserves one so bad (I volunteer as tribute-)
#lee jihoon#woozi#seventeen woozi#woozi x reader#svt woozi#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#lee jihoon fluff#woozi fluff#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#svt#seventeen#seventeen fic#woozi fic#svt fic#woozi x you#seventeen x you#woozi x y/n#seventeen x y/n#seventeen lee jihoon#woozi imagines#seventeen imagines#woozi au#seventeen fanfic#seventeen smut#woozi smut#lee jihoon smut#woozisguitar: works#divider by cafekitsune
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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 1
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2])
It's episode 4 If I Can't Reach You / Let My Song Teach You, time for two of my favorite things: glam rock and homosexuals. which are basically the same thing if you think about it.
she's like damn, billy, that was ruthless. honestly this is going to make her care about billy even more, not only he's powerful, not only he reminds her of nicky. now he's a murderer too?? perfect son is perfect. I love how she's studying sharon's body with her detective Agnes face, her mind is going a million miles a minute
her third-wall-break winks destroy me. and that poor hairdo. all gone expect for the giant turd on top.
alice being truly and genuinely sorry about sharon. lilia and jen being gossiping hags
agatha honey you're so dainty and feminine, look at you. and that's an interesting and not at all painful tree shape you picked. (I would have never noticed any of this without brightening the scene, it's outrageous. everyone involved in this show is amazing except the lighting department. shame on you lighting department)
whatever alice does openly and sincerely, agatha does secretly or as a joke. parallels, parallels
jen is like, can you believe this bitch
without being asked, alice goes to help digging the grave
that is the idiot I fell in love with and I'm way past regretting my choices at this point!! I know how rio feels now
"coven two" is one of those lines that make you laugh on first view and shred your heart in a million tiny pieces at every following rewatch. this show HAS to be watched at least twice, don't ever trust reviews or complaints by ppl who didn't, because they missed at least half of what makes it great.
a clown running from the tragic truth that her son wrote the Ballad, making sad clown noises all over the Road
when alice is called to referee as the Resident Ballad Expert and agatha looks at her expectantly hands in pockets, somehow extremely obnoxious, extremely gay and extremely sad at the same time
alice is SO above bickering. jen is being a baby because she's mad at agatha, lilia is being a baby cause she's grumpy and a contrarian, billy is sixteen, agatha is, well, agatha. alice is the only adult in the building
just one, huh? that's fine. that's fine. who needs a heart anyway.
the common gypsophila or baby's breath symbolizes sincerity, purity, innocence. does it symbolizes sharon? or is billy leaving it on her grave a metaphor for his naivety and good intentions gone wrong?
billy's romantic ideals of what it means to be in a coven have just been shattered. he set out, consciously or not, to teach something to these witches and of course it didn't work. he is the one who needs guidance, he is the one who's making a mess of things. he's just a kid.
agatha going !! when billy says he wishes he could go home. agatha covertly pointing out that he has a replacement body and she would really like to know how. she's observing him so closely, trying to puzzle out the mystery. exactly like she did with wanda inside the Hex. not revealing her cards just yet, testing and manipulating him. when that strategy blew up in her face so spectacularly the first time! she's so smart and so reckless it makes her practically an idiot
case in point: she's making up stupid rules trying to manipulate billy into shaping the Road the way she wants. that's right, agatha. let's summon another poor victim you can siphon, wonder who's gonna show up! (and she KNEW sharon was laying dead ten feet away and SOMEONE was bound to be in the neighborhood. dumbass.)
aww he's so proud of himself for having brought the spellbook. he's being helpful! he's made his four moms happy!
check, debatable, check
debatable and debatable
I'm gonna give that one a BIG check
yes I know advil spells "vidal", thank you tumblr for letting me know that one. also same, alice.
'esse viridis non es facile' IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! oh I knew my high school latin was bound to come in handy at least once in my life
(by the way the set + costumes combo is giving me such hocus pocus vibes, but you could never tell because the SCENE IS SO FUCKING DARK) (NO I WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT)
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
I mean girls, you chose to follow the head clown, you have to travel in the clown car. that's on you.
WHY IS THE PRINT SO SMALL???? I LOVE YOU PATTI LUPONE
admit it we all wished it was sharon for a moment
oh?? is that mayhaps someone you know, agatha???
and that's a wrap, see you guys tomorrow!
no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm doing another one tonight. I need to shove all the rio scenes in my eyeballs NOW
go to episode 4 part 2
#agatha all along#agatha deep dive#agatha harkness#alice wu gulliver#billy maximoff#lilia calderu#jennifer kale#character study
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Was considering making this a ficlet (and I still might) but a tiny meta for day 3 of Snake Boi Callum week: Your Deepest Truth / Complicated.
But I really steadily appreciate how arc 2 builds up Callum's deepest truth, not only in regards to the Knowing motif or the full set up (explored in further detail here), but also in other indications throughout the season. Season 4 starts small, with Ezran's faith ultimately being what Callum 'sees' clearly in 6x06:
Then season 5 takes this same idea — of enduring love, of deep love, of love being knowing and presence in contrast to absence, uncertainty, and lack of / repressed love — and builds on it.
[To love is simply to] know this: the tides are true as the ocean is deep. It means I trust her. Unconditionally. (5x01)
Rayla. We've been through a lot, and a lot has changed. Well, some things have changed, but not everything. I would do anything for you. (5x04)
The Ocean arcanum is accepting there are depths you can't see, parts of yourself you can't understand, and things you can't control. (5x08)
So 5x01 and 5x08 take that idea of love having untold depths, and link it to the ocean arcanum (and Callum's understanding of the arcanum). Said arcanum is also scaffolded on Callum's experiences on Finnegrin's ship, specifically his choice to do dark magic again, which is also lampshaded by Finnegrin's dialogue throughout the episode referencing Callum's vow(s) to Rayla in 5x04 ("You'll do anything for them" / "I hope you know—" "I know" / "To love is simply to know this").
Then we get to season six, which uses other characters and dynamics to build up to Callum (and Rayla's) connection in 6x06.
Viren's "The path of freedom is the path of truth" in 6x01 sets in motion the — at the time — subtextual notion of Rayla being in opposition to Aaravos and the embodiment of Callum's freedom. Janai says to Amaya in 6x02 that "You are my heart and my truth. If I ever start to doubt you, I'll know that I am truly lost." When Terry encourages Claudia to make her own choices in 6x04, he cites, "Only you can see your own deep truth. Only you can decide the path you’re going to walk. [...] You have to choose the way. What do you need to find your truth?"
So in quick succession, we have truth associated with 1) something deep and inherent, 2) the subsequent path of / to freedom, 3) someone being your heart / that it can be someone in your life. All of these concepts are reaffirmed in Rayla's lullaby in 6x05 with the added bonus of identity:
RAYLA: "Though the sky is dark tonight, I still shine for you my dear. The moon is more than just her light, I am near; my love is here. Though you feel so much alone, oh, my darling, do not fear. Hold to what you've always known, I am near; my love is here. Though my face cannot be seen, the answer in your heart is clear. I am the moon, the silver queen. I am near; my love is here." I know who you are. Esmeray.
Callum goes into the darkness in 6x06, and it's all he can see. He's literally blindfolded and can't see Rayla's face. Yet he sees her — Rayla's love for him, and his love for her — as his Light. As his heart and path and truth. His deepest truth. What seemed so complicated in her absence and confusing upon her return is eclipsed by the sanctity and assuredness of what he knows down to his bones, and thereby knows himself through in his own sense of identity as well.
I would tell you that you all my choices were nothing and you were everything. (6x03) KOSMO: The truth is complicated. VIREN: Life is complicated. But if it's love, nothing else matters. (6x06)
(This is also reflected in Claudia's assertions in 6x08 that Viren "needs to show [her] the right path. You taught me who I am and how to love myself" though we'll see if those hold.)
This also, as noted in the above metas, link to Aaravos' stances on truth. He never lies because he never needs to. Sol Regem accidentally killing his mate is a "deep, dark truth." The tagline for his S7 poster forewarns, "Lies hide in the shadows, but the darkest truths hide in the light."
While Rayla being Callum's deepest truth isn't complicated, the direction his love for her may steer his choices could be truly, temporarily awful, and I for one can't wait.
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My Personal Experience with Mizuki and Mizu5
Coming out, fear of abandonment, loneliness, and learning to trust others.
When I started liking and following the Project SEKAI franchise, the game hadn't even been released in its global version yet. So you can tell I’ve been here for quite some time.
I identified with Mizuki right from the beginning. A person whose defense mechanism is to avoid or joke around in tense or conflicting situations? Someone with deep-seated anxiety and fear of being alone? Someone who never shows their true self out of fear of rejection? Well, that’s just me.
When I first started following the story, I was about the same age as the characters. Now I’m older, with more life experience—which, while not a lot, still makes me quite different from how I was when I was Mizuki's age.
The 'core' of this character revolves around two things: identity and connection.
Mizuki wants to be themselves—to dress, behave, and live in a way that feels true and comfortable.
And Mizuki wants to have people by their side. They want to feel supported, to support others, to hang out with real friends, and to have people who stay in their life. They're tired of losing.
Mizuki believes these two desires can’t coexist.
At first, they purposely keep their distance from the rest of Niigo so that, when the inevitable happens and everyone leaves, it won’t hurt as much. Later, they decide to make the most of the time they have left with the group. Mizuki doesn’t doubt that Niigo might accept them; they fear that Niigo only accepts them out of kindness, as if it’s out of pity.
Mizuki doesn’t want to be treated like a charity case. They want genuine connection, true belonging.
I don’t relate as much to Mizuki’s personality (I think Kanade is the one most like me), but I deeply connect with their struggles around identity and gender expression (I’m agender and AFAB) as well as with their issues of trust and abandonment.
I’m doing much better these days, but I know all too well what it feels like to want to disappear, to push people away out of fear that they’ll leave first, to keep everyone at arm's length. I have amazing friends who give me all the support in the world (they’re my Rui, wishing my heart to be protected haha).
Sometimes, I still fear ending up alone, that other circumstances will drive us apart, or that they're only kind to me because they’re good people. But those are just the bad days, which eventually fade away into a sea of good ones.
When I look at Mizuki, I see my younger self—scared, sad, lonely, and hopeless. I deeply wish to see a healing arc for them, just like we’re seeing with Mafuyu. It would be wonderful to see a character I identify with so much learn that they can have a happy life.
That they can be themselves and still be loved
#project sekai#project sekai colorful stage#colorful stage#pjsk#niigo#niigo mizuki#niigo mafuyu#niigo kanade#niigo ena#25 ji nightcord de#n25#25ji#mizuki akiyama#akiyama mizuki#mizuena#shinonome ena#ena shinonome#mizu5#kanade yoisaki#yoisaki kanade#asahina mafuyu#mafuyu asahina#kamishiro rui#rui kamishiro
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𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗨𝗕 𝗗𝗥𝗢𝗣
Sub!Agatha Harkness x Daddy! Rio Vidal
Word count: 1.9K
Summary: Agatha experiences a rare moment of vulnerability, leading to a submissive fall, and Rio steps into a dominant role to comfort and ground her. Through gentle guidance, sensory overload, and emotional support, Rio helps Agatha embrace her vulnerability, deepening their trust and connection.
Notes: Power Dynamics, Sub Drop, Aftercare, Angst (if you squint hard), Submissive Questions and Comfort in the End.
Author's notes: So, I disappeared for a bit, I'm sorry, I was really out of ideas and very busy, but here we go... I just saw a video where Kathryn says exactly: "Yes, Agatha is a top, except..." Here is the except, from my point of view of course. Agatha didn't even know she could submit, honestly. Same for Rio, I think. Finally, I took the opportunity to talk a little about the fall of the sub, I always wanted to explore it. Enjoy!
ㅤㅤㅤㅤThe house was a stark contrast to the university office Agatha and Rio had shared earlier that day. Where the office was steeped in history and tradition, their home was a sleek, modern sanctuary of glass and steel. It sat on the edge of a sprawling forest, the windows offering uninterrupted views of the towering trees and the ever-changing sky. Tonight, the horizon was painted with streaks of deep indigo and bruised violet, the last light of the day fading into the encroaching night.
Rio pushed open the door, her boots clicking softly on the polished concrete floors. She was uncharacteristically quiet, her usual energy tempered by the unsettling feeling that had been gnawing at her all afternoon. Agatha hadn’t been herself during their meeting. There had been a brittle edge to her composure, a fragility Rio had never seen before. It was as if the unflappable woman who ruled over her world with precision and power had been replaced by a hollow shell.
The house was dark except for the faint glow of a single lamp in the living room. Rio’s eyes adjusted quickly, scanning the space for any sign of Agatha. She found her seated on the edge of the couch, her usually impeccable posture slumped, her hands clenched tightly in her lap. Her dark hair, which was always meticulously styled, hung loose around her shoulders, the strands disheveled as though she had been running her fingers through it in frustration.
— Agatha? — Rio called softly, stepping further into the room. Her voice was low, tentative, as if she were approaching a wild animal.
Agatha flinched at the sound, her head snapping up. Her piercing blue eyes were glassy, unfocused, and rimmed with redness. — Rio, —she said, her voice hoarse and brittle. — You’re home.
The words were strained, and Rio could see the tension radiating from Agatha’s entire frame. Something was deeply wrong. Moving with deliberate care, Rio crossed the room and knelt in front of her, placing her hands gently on Agatha’s knees. — What happened? — she asked, her voice steady, though her heart hammered in her chest.
— I’m fine, — Agatha snapped, but the words lacked conviction. Her hands trembled as she attempted to wave Rio away. — Go on. Do whatever it is you do to unwind. I don’t need—
— You’re lying, — Rio interrupted, her tone sharper than usual. She rarely spoke to Agatha this way, but the situation demanded it. — Look at you. You’re a mess.
Agatha stiffened, her lips pressing into a thin line, but she didn’t deny it. For a long moment, the only sound in the room was the faint hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen. Finally, Agatha whispered, — I don’t... I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Rio tilted her head, her dark eyes narrowing as she studied Agatha. — You’re spiraling, — she said bluntly. — You’ve been holding onto something too tightly for too long, and now it’s breaking you.
Agatha’s jaw clenched, her hands twisting together in her lap. — I don’t spiral, — she insisted, but the words were barely audible. Her entire body was taut, as though she were a bowstring pulled too tight, ready to snap.
— You’re spiraling, — Rio repeated, her voice firmer this time. She rose to her feet, her commanding presence filling the room in a way that was entirely uncharacteristic of her usual playful demeanor. — Stand up.
— What? — Agatha blinked, startled by the command.
— Stand. Up. — Rio’s tone brooked no argument.
Agatha hesitated, her pride warring with the strange, undeniable pull of Rio’s authority. Slowly, almost reluctantly, she obeyed. She stood, swaying slightly, her legs unsteady beneath her.
Rio took a step closer, her dark eyes locking onto Agatha’s. — You’re fighting it, — she said quietly, her voice like a knife slicing through the tension. — You’re so used to being in control that you don’t know what to do when you’re not.
Agatha opened her mouth to argue, but Rio silenced her with a raised hand. — Stop, — she said firmly. — Stop trying to push me away. You’re not okay, and I’m not going to let you fall apart alone.
The words hit Agatha like a physical blow. Her knees buckled, and Rio caught her before she could collapse, guiding her back onto the couch. Agatha clung to her, her fingers digging into Rio’s arms as though she were a lifeline.
— You’re safe, — Rio murmured, her voice softening as she sat down beside Agatha and pulled her into an embrace. — You don’t have to fight right now. You don’t have to be strong. Let me take care of you.
Agatha shook her head, her face buried against Rio’s shoulder. — I don’t know how, — she admitted, her voice breaking. — I’ve never... I’ve never needed this before.
Rio tightened her hold, one hand stroking soothingly through Agatha’s hair. — You don’t have to know how, — she said gently. — That’s my job. You just have to let go.
For the first time in her life, Agatha did. She let the walls she had so carefully constructed around herself crumble, and in the safety of Rio’s arms, she allowed herself to fall.
The modern living room felt colder now, the stark angles and sleek design amplifying the raw vulnerability that filled the space. Agatha remained in Rio's arms, trembling slightly, her face pressed against Rio's shoulder. Her entire frame felt smaller, like a mighty fortress collapsing in on itself. Rio held her firmly, her steady presence a lifeline, but she knew this was just the beginning.
Slowly, with deliberate care, Rio tilted Agatha's chin up so their eyes met. The storm in Agatha's piercing blue gaze was unmistakable: fear, defiance, and a deep, aching confusion. — Agatha, — Rio began, her voice calm but commanding, — you trust me, don't you?
There was a pause before Agatha nodded, almost imperceptibly. Her lips parted, as if to argue or deflect, but Rio didn't give her the chance.
— Then I need you to listen to me now, — Rio continued. — This feeling you're having, this... chaos inside you? It's a submissive drop. It's your mind and body screaming for release, for grounding, for someone to take the weight off your shoulders. And you're fighting it because you don't know what it is.
Agatha's brows furrowed, her lips pressing into a thin line. — I don't... I don't need to be submissive.— she whispered, though the quaver in her voice betrayed her uncertainty.
— Sweetheart, — Rio said, her tone softening but never losing its edge, — everyone needs to let go sometimes. Even you. Especially you.
Without another word, Rio guided Agatha down from the sofa until she was kneeling on the cold, unyielding floor. The sudden discomfort pulled a sharp intake of breath from Agatha, but Rio kept her steady with a hand on her shoulder. — Feel that? — Rio asked, her voice low and intimate. — The floor beneath you. The weight of your knees. It's real. It's here. Stay with me, Agatha.
Agatha's breathing quickened, her hands hovering awkwardly in her lap as if unsure where to put them. The vulnerability of the position was unbearable, yet Rio's calm, commanding presence kept her tethered.
Rio settled back onto the couch, her legs spreading slightly in a casual display of dominance. She reached out and threaded her fingers gently through Agatha's dark hair, stroking it with a tenderness that belied the intensity of the moment. — When I fell for the first time, — Rio began, her voice thoughtful, — I didn't understand it either. I was fighting myself, just like you are now. I thought being vulnerable made me weak. That needing someone to catch me meant I'd lost control.
Agatha swallowed hard, her eyes fixed on the floor.
— But then, — Rio continued, — I realized that giving someone your trust, your submission, doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong. And when I finally gave in... when I fell for the first time... it was the most terrifying and freeing thing I'd ever done. — She paused, her fingers still running soothingly through Agatha's hair. — And do you know who caught me when I fell?
Agatha's eyes flicked up, wide and uncertain. — Me. — she whispered, the word barely audible.
Rio smiled softly. — That's right. You caught me, Agatha. And you didn't even know it.
The weight of those words seemed to settle over Agatha like a blanket, her body trembling with a mix of emotions she couldn't begin to untangle. Rio's hand stilled in her hair, and she leaned down, her breath ghosting against Agatha's ear.
— I'm going to take care of you now, — Rio murmured. — But you need to let me. Do you understand, princess?
Agatha hesitated, her pride still warring with the pull of surrender. Finally, she nodded, her voice cracking as she whispered, — Yes.
Rio's smile turned sharp, almost predatory. — Yes, what?
Agatha's cheeks flushed deeply. — Yes... Daddy?
— That's my good girl. — Rio purred, the praise sending a shiver down Agatha's spine.
What followed was a slow, deliberate unraveling. Rio's nails dragged lightly down Agatha's back, teasing over the fabric of her blouse before pressing harder, enough to draw a sharp gasp from the older woman. — Feel that? — Rio whispered. — That's real. That's here. Stay with me, princess.
Her lips followed, pressing soft kisses along Agatha's jawline, her neck, and finally her collarbone. Each kiss grew more insistent, turning into bites that lingered just on the edge of pain, grounding Agatha further in the present. Agatha whimpered, her hands clenching into fists at her sides as she fought against the overwhelming sensations.
— Let go, — Rio urged, her voice both gentle and commanding. Her hands moved back to Agatha's hair, stroking it softly before tugging sharply, pulling her head back just enough to force their eyes to meet.
— Will you fall for me, darling? — Rio asked, her voice a low, seductive murmur. — Will you be a good girl... for Daddy?
Agatha's breath hitched, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. — I-I don't know how, — she choked out, her voice thick with emotion.
Rio cupped her face, her thumbs brushing away the tears that began to fall. — You're so perfect, princess, — she whispered. — You're everything I need. And it's okay to fall. I'm right here. I'll catch you.
The words broke something in Agatha. A sob tore from her throat as she crumpled completely, leaning forward to rest her head against Rio's knees. Rio gathered her up without hesitation, pulling her into her lap and holding her close. She stroked Agatha's back in slow, soothing circles, whispering soft reassurances.
— Shh, it's okay, — Rio murmured. — You're safe. You're mine. And you were so, so good for me.
It took a long time for Agatha to find her voice again. When she finally did, it was small and unsteady. — I was scared, — she admitted. —Scared of losing control. Scared of needing this.
Rio pressed a kiss to her temple. — I know, love. But you don't have to be scared anymore. I've got you.
Agatha exhaled a shaky breath, her arms tightening around Rio. — Thank you, Rio. — she whispered, her voice tinged with exhaustion but also relief. — Thank you, Daddy.
Rio's laughter was soft, warm, and full of affection. — Anytime, princess. Anytime.
And as the night deepened, the two of them remained entwined, finding solace in the delicate balance of power, trust, and unconditional care.
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I'm going with losing battle and I'm just going to shut up, before I put my foot in it. They don't say happy wife, happy life just for fun. Trust me, I know you can get away with more shit, but that's just so I get an easy life. Looking back at it, it's kinda funny that your first reaction was menopause, after already having three kids. Maybe getting pregnant accidentally worked in our favour. Who knows, we might have just kept pushing it back due to it not being the right time. It took us this long to plan a wedding and that's way less commitment. I'm just glad that it turned out to be a baby and not early menopause, I had my heart set on one more baby. I'm not disagreeing with you, man flu is a real thing, we can't handle it as well as women can. You guys are built for birthing babies out of the smallest hole, of course you can handle it better. I can give you my credit card if you're wanting to roleplay as a sugar momma, just don't expect me to call you mommy during sex. Why not? I think a dog for Christmas is a great idea, the girls would love it. Are we really about to take four kids to run around a shelter and do you really expect all four to pick the same dog? They drive me insane, but I love those kids so much. I wouldn't change this for anything.
I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own, baby. I'm not going to be telling you anything. I like to think that I get my way a little bit more than you get your way. To be fair - I didn't think there was a chance that I could be pregnant since there was no morning sickness or anything. It was a very plausible thing to think. But hey, we got another daughter. So everything worked out for the best there. We just didn't expect to become parents again so soon. And now our family is complete. Men flu is a thing because you become a big baby. Worse than the kids when they're sick, honestly. I'm not that much younger than you, babe. I could be your sugar momma. Even if you've got more money than me. Toy boy Bradley. I don't think getting a pet for Christmas is the right move. But we could start looking around shelters and see what's available. I think Figaro is young enough that he'll adapt well to having a dog around. The perks of having kids, babe. We get no say in what we do when we spend time with them. It's just the way it is. Keep them happy and then we'll have no issues.
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How do you feel about the fact that Katsuki’s apology and his death are not brought up again? I was really sad they never talked about it all. Do you have any headcanons for when/how/if they ever talk?
Dear anon, you've activated my trap card.
By which I mean you've asked me about something on which my feelings apparently vastly differ from those of most people.
To answer your question, I did not expect nor even want a scene addressing the apology again in-canon. Neither did I expect a scene where they discuss Katsuki's death, though I was less opposed to that.
But let me specify this right off the bat: there is a distinction between what I would enjoy seeing and what I think has narrative weight.
And I think that's fascinating to talk about. You asked me how I feel, so get ready!
When people say they wish Katsuki and Izuku had talked about his death, what are they wanting?
Do they want to see Izuku get vulnerable and choked up over Katsuki, shed tears for him? Do they want to see Katsuki see him like that, and watch him soften and let Izuku open up? Do they want to see him take Izuku's hand and comfort him, reassure him that they won, that it's over, that he's still here, and no one is gonna keep him from getting back up again? With the implication that getting back up again means standing at Izuku's side and helping him win?
I sure as fuck do!
But do I think that kind of scene does something for the story, themes, and development of them as characters that what we actually got doesn't do? Not necessarily.
See, stories are not driven by what the audience wants to see.
Stories are driven by what the characters need.
Not what they want, what they need. Often, characters are denied what they want because it does not align with what they need, and this is the very premise of their struggle. Katsuki is a great example of this, because at the start of the story, he wants to feel superior to Izuku, but what he needs is to accept his own admiration of him.
Fanworks exist to give the audience what they want, in a vacuum, totally separate from the linear structure of the narrative. You can just pop into a scene of Izuku crying and have Katsuki kiss him better and that gets us every time, doesn't it?
But in the manga, for a scene like this to exist, there has to be a need for it to address. So, what would that need be?
I think people ask for these scenes because they are under the mistaken impression that Katsuki doesn't understand how Izuku feels about him. And I cannot tell you how much I disagree with this.
If Katsuki didn't understand that Izuku cares deeply for him, then a scene like what I described would probably be intended to tell the audience that he needs to understand how Izuku feels and, up until now, he hasn't.
But that's not true.
Katsuki knows Izuku cares about him.
At the start of the manga, Katsuki is convinced Izuku looks down on him.
Chapter 10
We the audience understand this is projection. Katsuki's admiration of Izuku makes him feel inferior, so he rejects his own self-critical feelings and assigns them to Izuku. No matter how many times Izuku shouts that he thinks Katsuki is amazing, Katsuki's inferiority complex is unfazed.
He utterly ignores it, it doesn't even register for him.
Chapters 10 and 119
Instead he doubles-down on his own frustration and dissatisfaction with himself, engaging from a point of competition, as though Izuku had insulted him rather than complimented him.
This tells the audience that the problem does not lie with Izuku, but with Katsuki himself. Izuku cannot resolve this situation with words, we've seen him try. Instead, Katsuki needs to change his own perspective.
After Deku vs. Kacchan 2, Katsuki accepts—begrudgingly and with great discomfort—that Izuku does not look down on him.
Chapter 120
Even though Katsuki reconciles this, that doesn't change the fact that he is weak. He needs to grow as a person and as a hero. Now, his struggle is not just about his self-perception, but also his real progress.
Chapter 209
We joke about Kacchan being a tsundere, because he is, but part of the reason he rejects Izuku's appraisal of his progress is because he still hasn't met his own standards yet. Katsuki admires Izuku and All Might so much; he knows what they are capable of, he sees the gulf between where he is and where they are, and he is fighting like hell to close that gap.
He won't be satisfied until he does.
Chapters 362 and 409
I've seen people talk about this moment like it is a revelation for Katsuki about Izuku's feelings.
Chapter 359
And, first of all, lemme just say that no villain has ever said a damn thing to Kacchan that he didn't already know.
Chapter 358
ShigAFO's comment does not exist to confirm Izuku's feelings to Katsuki. It exists to signal to Katsuki (and the audience) that ShigAFO knows how Izuku feels, and he is prepared to use it against them.
This is a threat. This is about instilling horror in us and bringing to painful fruition Katsuki's fears about being a weakness people can exploit to hurt Izuku.
But let's not bury the lede: Katsuki would not have these fears if he didn't understand that Izuku cares about him.
Chapter 82
Look at his face and tell me he doesn't know with every fiber of his being that Izuku would die for him.
You could argue that because Katsuki understands Izuku's heroic nature better than anyone, perhaps he doesn't consider Izuku's protectiveness of him unique. Maybe he doesn't understand that Izuku loves him specifically and, to him, this is simply an expression of Izuku's selfless, save-to-win mentality.
But that I counter with two points:
Katsuki is not dumb, guys. He is our most emotionally intelligent and self-aware character. We are shown on numerous occasions that Katsuki can read between the lines and understand someone's feelings without being told (unlike Izuku, who's a damn nerd).
The story arc of Katsuki and Izuku's relationship is predicated on the fact that Katsuki rejected Izuku, but they are both unable and unwilling to truly disentangle themselves from each other. This means that their interactions, across the whole of the series, generally focus on Katsuki accepting Izuku and his own feelings, thereby restoring their relationship. To do this, he needed to both accept himself and better himself.
As a result of the second point, the focus is not on Izuku demonstrating his love for Katsuki as the bridge of change. The fact that Izuku loves Katsuki and wants him in his life is indeed highlighted frequently, but it is often treated as a given.
I've said it before: Izuku's feelings are not the ones that change the most, Katsuki's are.
Now you might say, "Maybe Katsuki doesn't need to hear Izuku's feelings, but Izuku might still need to say them!" And you're right, that is a possibility! Even if it is a given to the audience, there could be something that suggests Izuku saying these feelings out loud would be significant or change something between them.
But that's not what the series tells us.
Izuku does not hold back about the way he feels for Katsuki. Whether he is calling Kacchan a stupid jerk or saying he is amazing, Izuku is not subtle about what he thinks—in fact, these are often his most raw, unfiltered character moments, and they are significant.
Chapter 119
The only significant time Izuku does not tell Katsuki how he feels is his image of victory moment at the end of DvK2.
Chapter 120
My conclusion about this is that Izuku has felt conflicted about his own behavior and thinks Katsuki would reject him if he knew about it, so he chooses not to bring it up.
However, there is still a narrative purpose of showing us this thought, and that is to demonstrate that while Izuku may feel conflicted, ultimately he still accepts his own feelings. Regardless of whether Katsuki accepts him or not, the way Izuku feels won't change, and he's not sorry about it.
This moment exists for a lot of reasons, but chief among them is so that we the audience can see the true shape of Izuku's heart.
And what we see is that he loves and admires Katsuki, no matter how he acts or even what kind of person that makes Izuku.
I liken it to Katsuki's All Might card moment.
Chapter 362
Listen, I would have loved to see my explody boy get his autograph, but the greatest impact of this scene is not in the question of whether he will get one, that's just the tragedy lying on the surface as we witness his death.
No, the most meaningful part of this moment is in how it makes the audience truly understand that he still longs for it, even after all these years.
I wanted Izuku to tell Katsuki he is his image of victory, but the fact that it doesn't happen signals to me that Izuku ultimately didn't need to say those words out loud for that moment to matter. Izuku reconciled the discomfort he felt about admiring Katsuki and embraced his positive feelings for him, and that's pretty damn important.
I can and will indulge in fandom to meet my heart's desires, and that's excellent. But rather than simply feeling disappointed by canon material, I think it is more interesting to allow both what happens in the story and what doesn't inform my understanding of it.
I have been planning an in-depth post about the apology and what I think people are missing when they say Izuku "didn't respond" to Katsuki, but let me just lightly touch on my objections to that line of thinking.
Many people in the English-speaking audience appear to have a very narrow range of actions they consider a "response," and allowing someone else to act upon you for some reason does not seem to count.
If you frame interactions only by what Character A does to Character B and see Character A as the only active participant, you are missing out on a lot.
For example, Katsuki catches Izuku, and we see that as a demonstration of his love, as we should.
But how is Izuku allowing himself to be caught not an action that expresses his feelings? How is the fact that he responded to an apology with his own apology not indicative of how he wants to connect to Katsuki in this moment? How does it not convey what he feels for Katsuki, what he has always felt for him?
Furthermore, I see a lot of people take for granted how silence is a choice, and it carries meaning. Much like with what does and doesn't happen in a story, there is meaning in what people say and what they don't.
Japanese as a language values indirectness; it is not a bug, it is a feature. This is partly to avoid forcing yourself onto others and causing them discomfort, but another part is trusting others to understand who you are and how you feel without beating them over the head with it.
But you'll have to wait for my full post to hear the rest of that idea.
I dunno if this is what you were expecting out of your question, anon, but I hope you enjoyed the ride all the same!
#the nature of what goes unspoken between Izuku and Katsuki#is arguably one of the strongest implications that they are in love#Japanese romance aka I rely on you and trust in you and believe in you more than anyone and you know this without me breathing a word of it#you know my heart and trust me the same way#you stand by my side without question#and all you ask is that I allow you to do it#of course I allow it#because I want the same thing from you#at some point these tags should probably become a proper post lmaooo#but that is for another day#bkdk#bakuhatsu asks#anon asks#mha 10#mha 82#mha 119#mha 120#mha 209#mha 322#mha 358#mha 359#mha 362#mha 409
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#regarding the liam and maya situation: i have a lot to say that i cannot express in tags and some of yall are still in a huge denial phase#but as i said the day we first knew about maya's book - im believing her. i believe she is a victim. im believing the victim.#i do trust women who make allegations without explicitly showing proof on social media because thats what i stand for. i rather believe a#liar than believing and abuser. with her; with you; and with every women (and everyone) out there even if i don't like her.#if you have a problem with this value i have: i recommend to unfollow me. because i believe her and that won't change.#and the tiktok she posted acknowledging 1d's fanbase behaviour is not only well-worded; but her non verbal language does match what she is#saying. i hope liam can get out of his addiction and i hope he can recognise his actions to be able to change for good; yes. but that doesn#change what he already did. i have plenty of reasons to believe maya - and seeing so many fellow fans saying shit in her comments like#“you're a liar until you post proof” “if you're saying the truth then sue him” “this is pr for the book” etc etc. insane and concerning.#yall talk like cishet men defending their friends btw. the exact same “arguments”...... is sad to see other women saying this. it breaks my#heart. and as someone who is studying PR genuinely fuck yall ???? yall don't even know what tf we do yall just blame us for every shit in#the industry when in reality its not our fault all the amount of crap yall say it is our fault. if i ask yall to even define what we do#im sure 99.99% won't even know the difference between PR/Marketing/Publicity. get my name and my fellow PR people out of your shit ??? wtf?#its diabolical to blame this on PR. seriously whatin the actual fuck. it doesn't even make sense????? fuck offffffff#i hope maya henry may find peace; i hope she can recover and overcome as well as possible. im disgusted by the behaviour almost everyone is#having. im not praying for a downfall or hoping bad things on liam but i definitely won't defend any of this. and tbh yall shouldn't either#on the other side: i hope she better not talk in any kind of way about louis/harry situation#but because that would mess stuff up in multiple ways. they don't need to be dragged in this. at all.#we don't need “official” denials nor confirmations of people that are not them in any type of way.#anyway... how's the weather i guess#maya henry
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Not to make “tag vent sunday” a thing but Idk how I can go from having a great string of days where I feel happy and confident to just. Randomly fucking dropping. And feeling like the actual worst.
#okay so here’s the thing#QB and I have been doing lil activities online lately#which helps him with his stuff he has going on and helps me to not feel fucking lonely all the time#bc i had another hangout friend but I Very Much Screwed That Up Tee-Bee-Aych#so I’ve been late to most hangouts. i constantly have little issues pop up where I’m so sure I’ll piss him off#friday night like an hour into the hangout I went ‘idk how to say this but like i recgonize I’m being quiet and if you want me to talk more#please lemme know’ and he told me that he was having some worries attached to that so we talked things out and it was fine#ITS ALWAYS FINE#AND SOMETIMES THAT IS WHAT PUTS ME ON EDGE OR MAKES ME START FUCKING CRYING (off call) WHICH IS EMBARRASSING TO ADMIT BUT LIKE#LOOK I LOVE THAT HE’S PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING. ONLY OTHER PERSON I KNOW WHO HAS THAT LEVEL OF CHILL IS MY ACTUAL PARTNER#BUT I’M SO FUCKING SURE THAT I WILL SCREW IT UP TERRIBLY. LIKE DISASTROUSLY.#SO LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO? BECAUSE PART OF MY BRAIN IS TELLING ME TO JUST GHOST EVERYONE AND RUN AWAY#SO THAT I CAN AT LEAST CONTROL THE OUTCOME BUT LIKE#I REALLY WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH QB AND WB AND BB AND I’M STRUGGLING SO HARD WITH THIS#like lowkey the thought of screwing up in the same way I always have is literally painful and my chest is killing me I just—#god I fucking hate this shit#can I get the stardew heart ranking system please?? so I know exactly where I stand all the time???#I don’t necessarily trust people to tell me what I’m doing wrong until it’s too late
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Alex didn't trust easily. He was someone who had been hurt, and who have been left behind. But Jo, she was different and she was someone he seen himself with and making plans about the future with. Their beginning was really rough and he knew that it took time, because also his reputation at the beginning wasn't the best either and he knew that. Alex just had to break through all those walls and make sure that it was right. But she finally said she loved him and he loved her and it was just about complimenting one another. The soft looks and the touches and that is something that Alex hasn't done in so long, and it was easy with her. Better then with anyone in his life and he knew that Jo didn't know that either. All that was shattered because decided to leave.
Alex knew he messed up. He knew that Jo didn't trust easily and she didn't give into anything easily. He was the one she let her guard down for, and him her and things were thrown away. At least that is what he has told himself because he knew Jo, once that trust was gone, it was hard to gain it back, because he was the same way. Jo had been through a lot and he knew that. Took him a while to realize just how she felt because she hid it well, and now, he knew he did that. He did the one thing he told her he would never do. The one thing she was scared of and he had told her not think like that. So whatever happens was on him and he did it. Alex had no one to blame but himself.
He had a wild hair up his ass, and they kept writing back and forth. The type of thing only people who wanted answers and closures with. But he knew right then and there he made a mistake and that Jo was the person he should have been with Izzie and him, they don't get along, it is more for the kids, and he just needed something more. He needed to be able to make things right because Kansas was not the place for him. But being pen pals with her, it was hard because he knew no one could find out. But then the call happened. He wasn't expecting it, he knew she was mad, and he knew she wanted answers, but he made a mistake and was kind of glad the papers weren't signed. He knew he couldn't live with himself if she signed them. With the phone to his ear, it felt new but also familiar with her.
Shaking his head, he knew this was going to happen. He knew no matter what he said, it would be taken wrong. "No that is not what I am saying Jo. Not at all. That is not what this is. It was more, I wanted to meet my kids, and Izzie and I, we were never a thing anymore. She is not who I wanted, and I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. You were the person I kept thinking about as soon as I got here, and even now, you're all I am thinking about and how much my kids would love you." He heard loved and that stung, he knew he couldn't blame her though. "Loved me? So, there is nothing else there Jo?" he felt his heart breaking a little bit and it wasn't fun, now he knows what it feels like for her when he did what he did, maybe he deserved that. He wasn't going to push it. "I won't push, but I am here and you are the one in charge of everything. I am just trying to show you it wasn't what you think and it wasn't what I made it seem to be."
@InsolentMedico
Hurt; Jo was built for the hurt. She’s experienced the let down her whole life. From hoping for a family to take her in, from the disappointment she felt realizing she was on her own. She experienced feeling not enough, unwanted. It was her childhood. But at this age and how far she’s grown Jo realized what true undeniable love was about. Alex Karev showed her what it felt like to be loved and how hard you could love someone. He made her happy, smiling from ear to ear. He made her feel safe. He loved her despite all her history and flaws. It was an unconditional love Jo never experienced before him.
And even when he left; she felt as if she couldn’t breathe without him. It took weeks to understand; to know the why. Man she was so angry so mad at him for being a coward. His letter was the words she never thought he’d say. He broke every promise he ever said to her. A vow he made to never hurt her, to never abandon her. But he did. And at the time she took the time to process to accept he was gone. Once Meredith, and Bailey got their letters and the word for a new peds surgeon broke the whispers were like wildflies. The stares and talk of Alex Karev leaving her. Jo tired to pretend to focus on her work. But each night she came home to an empty loft; until she found a friend in Levi; he was the intern she slept with. But a good friend now that he wasn’t out to beat her; or flirt with her. Jo even hid the letters from her roommate here. She wanted to keep her litter conversations with Alex a secret. At the time when she wrote that first letter it was a way of grieving the life she wanted. The future she thought she had. And now she was forced to pick up her own pieces. One letter led to Alex responding. It was a shock each time she received a letter. It was supposed to be therapeutic for the brunette; easier to let go. But instead it only made her keep writing; his words. His mind on why he left; on what was going through that head of his now.
It captivated her forward. Jo kept telling herself no. He left you. He picked a new family; the family you never gave him. It was a pep talk to convince herself that it was in her best interest to let him go. But now; as she stared down at his letter. The words he spoke; the love drawn onto the page it made Jo be impulsive. It made her call. But did she believe he’d answer? No not after all the times he dogged her call. Even when she was that pathetic girl on the phone begging to hear his voice. Begging for him to answer; to give answers as to why he lied; why he disappeared. If he was okay. All she got was silence; so yeah color her surprised when the dial broke; his breathing was heard followed by his voice.
The voice she longed to hear. The voice that always made her smile; always made her miss him more. Jo never held back; it made her angry to feel love but also feel his abandonment. So it was no surprise to hear herself speak back to him. To call him out for his crap. It was a trait Jo was aware he always adored about her.
“ Sure it doesn’t.. Alex there was like a billion other ways you could’ve gone about this. About handling the news you had kids. You don’t just abandon the life you were building..” Angry and hurt shown in her voice. Holding the phone tightly in her grasp the brunette let her eyes close taking in the memory of his voice. Even if it hurt to have this conversation.
She missed him; he still knew how to make her heart skip a beat. Rolling her eyes at his words. “ Because I’m the one not afraid to tell you when you’ve messed up Alex.” Pausing briefly before she geared herself to say her next words. “ If you really think I wouldn’t of supported you when you found out then maybe all these years were a waste of time. I would’ve wanted the kids because they were yours. I would’ve supported you. I’m not angry because of the situation. I’m angry because of the little respect and credit you’ve given me..” Words hurt; and yeah her intention was to hurt him. He ripped her apart; and basically wrecked her.
And now Jo hung on by a thread.
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come at me like kim gongja or do not come at me at all ✋😤💖
#your heart does not have to be beautiful that isnt why i love you so#teach me to love like you and i'll teach you to love like me#its only been a day that ive loved you but if you say thats not long enough i can return after 1000 days and it will still hold true#i'll go crazy for you and give you my everything but treat me equally and do the same for me#i can't live without a heart if i give mine to you so give me yours as well#''it doesn't matter if your heart is held hostage by the world. if that's the problem i'll free you.''#let's die and regress together trust me to kill you painlessly and ill trust you to be there when i open my eyes#kill me with your own hands i know its cruel but this is the only way to live on together#i'll fight the gods if it means we can live the rest of our lives hand in hand#our happiness will be as one and thats what it means to love#WHO ELSE IS DOING IT LIKE HIM#sssrh#beso babbles
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#Vent#I'm going to be honest#After the way I was treated last year it's hard to see people the same way#I love people but holy hell you just never know who it is in the room that may just take advantage of your trust and attempt to hurt you#You never know who's going to leave when you hit rock bottom#You never know who is so much worse than you ever wanted to believe they could be#I know that sometimes people think I'm a little paranoid#But fuck#When your life falls apart in almost every way possible piece by piece and everyone's true colors show and most of them aren't pretty#It is very hard to want to be close to people#It's very hard to look people in the face and not just see all the traits that may lead up to something terrible and silently pray#Please let me be overthinking this#I love these people and I don't want to get hurt again#I miss a lot of people but they treated me like trash and it's a hard tug a war in my heart sometimes
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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