#you have to be me to truly understand it all in a way that doesn’t make me sound like an 11 y/o om amino in 2018

[ofbatsandballads]

Hi Rae. Who gave you permission to snap my heart in two at midnight? No, really, this has me going insane so have my ranting under the cut:

He's not normal. Not someone you should be happy to see. […] But you are– everytime he drags his weary body to your window– you're happy. You smile, welcome him inside like he has a place there.

The way I’m already screaming “because he does have a place there!” before we’ve even hit the end. Something about Jason not being able to accept love not because other people are liars or insincere but because he can’t comprehend why anyone would love him is so heartbreakingly in character.

It's not like he can offer the same back or return the favors you so freely give. He wants to– at least he thinks he does– he just gets stuck when it comes to what to do with you.

Reciprocity—tit for tat, an eye for an eye—being so ingrained in his perception of the world and of himself that he can’t realize he doesn’t have to return the favor, that he can just accept the kindness for what it is, makes me want to cry. Thanks.

shocked to stillness each time your hands don't bring a wave of hurt to his skin.

Stray dog coded Jason who doesn’t know what to do when touch doesn’t hurt is so dear to me. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: your characterization of him is golden.

He adores you. He won't admit it to anyone, not even to himself most of the time. But he does.

Jason who loves so deeply, so completely that it could destroy him. Jason who has spent both of his lives just trying to stay above water, running from anything that could harm him. Jason who was killed because he loved so fiercely. Just…him finding himself loving someone that much again and sort of bluescreening on what that means for him.

There is no happy ending when all he can offer is fleeting comforts and one word answers. He doesn't deserve your patience, your endless willingness to understand and wait for him to figure himself out.

The absolute overpowering emotion of needing to drill it into his head with love and kindness and care that there is a happy ending with all of that actually. And that he does deserve good things and patience and love. I just know loving him would be so frustrating sometimes but that each time it would just make you want to stick around more.

If he knew how, he'd ask if you were really okay with who he is, what he does, how he acts. Your eagerness to make him feel like he does fit into any place in your life makes him wonder if it's all just a mask. If you're just waiting for him to be at his worst to reveal that it's all a lie– that he's truly and devastatingly unwanted.

So this whole paragraph took me out but that last line destroyed me. The phrase “truly and devastatingly unwanted” is going to live rent free in my head for a while now.

it's just that the store was out and he was bleeding too heavily through his suit to stop at anywhere else.

I recently read a piece of Jason meta that said that he would accept any and all harm or mistreatment just to get the companionship and love he craves and this really speaks to that because why are you picking up ice cream when you’re bleeding out??? Oh, it’s because he thinks he’s unworthy of basic human decency if he has nothing to offer.

You're just too good. Everything Jason isn't. He feels like he's dragging you down with him when you offer to keep emergency weapons for him hidden in your apartment. He's definitely staining everything you are with his greedy hands when you start keeping extra first aid kits in your closet.

Clawing at the walls while screaming “they do it because they love you!!!” I love reading this from the perspective of his partner because it’s just sitting here listening to the internal monologue of man that is confidently incorrect. Your description of him being an unreliable narrator is spot on.

And when you clean out a drawer in your dresser for him to keep clothes in, when you stock your cupboards with all his preferred foods, fill your shelves with his favorite books, and play the songs he loves to hum along to, he selfishly lets himself believe you might want this forever too. You do.

One of my favorite things about how you write Jason is that he always, without fail, breaks at the end just a little bit. The sustained love and care and kindness always manages to get the tiniest foothold in his soul, like a flower growing through a crack in concrete. Even when he thinks he’s being selfish or delusional or blindly hopeful. It’s so true to what loving someone like him would be like—slow and gradual and hard fought, but resolute and unflinching.

So yeah, in short I love this with my entire being and I will be sending you the bill for my therapy (please never stop writing).

If He Could

Jason is an unreliable narrator ~1k words

Jason's no good for you. He's too brash, too rough, too easily pulled away to defend the streets of Gotham. He's a liability in your life, a dark stain in the otherwise perfect fabric of your reality. He's all the worst of shadowed alleys and tortured corners of decaying apartments.

He's quick to pull a weapon, even quicker to throw a punch. He doesn't quite remember how to make his smile look natural, how to stand without his shoulders tense and ready to dodge whatever comes his way. He's not normal. Not someone you should be happy to see.

But you are– everytime he drags his weary body to your window– you're happy. You smile, welcome him inside like he has a place there.

And he doesn't know what to do with it. Doesn't know how he should react to your bright eyes and soft touches and fond words. It's not like he can offer the same back or return the favors you so freely give. He wants to– at least he thinks he does– he just gets stuck when it comes to what to do with you.

He knows he shouldn't tense up at your reassuring pats to his arms– but he freezes, shocked to stillness each time your hands don't bring a wave of hurt to his skin. He knows he shouldn't be so quiet when you ramble about your day, but he can't find the words to describe just how much he does care about every mundane fact you share with him.

And oh, does he care. Too much even. Cares in a way that scares him off the grid for days at a time, only to sheepishly find his way back to your fire escape with a tub of melting ice cream or cooling coffee and a half-baked excuse on his tongue.

He adores you. He won't admit it to anyone, not even to himself most of the time. But he does. It's you who he wants to come back to when his feet ache and his eyes strain to make out words and figures. It's you who makes him feel not so heavy when the sun starts to rise over the tired, crumbling buildings he knows better than his own skin.

He has a portion of his heart and mind set aside just for you. But Jason can't tell you that. The more he relents to you (because he can never say no when you ask), the more he threatens to ruin you. He's a slow rot, a plague that sets into the very marrow of your bones.

But you don't see it. He doesn't want you to, but you should. You should understand that by carving out a place for him besides you, you are going to destroy yourself from the inside out.

There is no happy ending when all he can offer is fleeting comforts and one word answers. He doesn't deserve your patience, your endless willingness to understand and wait for him to figure himself out.

It's not fair to you– to either of you. But he always ends up back in your living room, always ends up with his hands curling into fists as you graciously take whatever food or trinket he's brought to try and win your continued affections.

He secretly believes he must be the most selfish person in the world when he leans into your warm hugs, when he passes out on your couch after your semi-regular movie nights. (He tries not to linger on what it means when he sleeps better on your old, worn furniture than his own bed)

It's cruel of him to lead you on like this. It's cruel of him to set himself up for heartbreak. You'll learn that he's not worth your time soon enough. But, for now, he can't help but bask in the way you offer to stitch the tears in his clothes, the way you so excitedly ask him to try every new recipe you've made.

If he knew how, he'd ask if you were really okay with who he is, what he does, how he acts. Your eagerness to make him feel like he does fit into any place in your life makes him wonder if it's all just a mask. If you're just waiting for him to be at his worst to reveal that it's all a lie– that he's truly and devastatingly unwanted.

Those words still haven't come from either of your lips– don't come– even when he messes up and brings you the wrong flavor of ice cream. (It's not that he forget what you liked– it's just that the store was out and he was bleeding too heavily through his suit to stop at anywhere else)

The words don't even come when he doesn't tell you why he disappeared for over a month this time. (Someone got too close to his identity– to you. He had to track down everyone involved before he could even think of resting or seeing you again)

Jason wants to have the right words, wants to do the right thing, and make you laugh and watch your eyes light up because of something he did. He wants to hug you back in a way that makes you feel safe and needed and wanted above all else. He wants to. He just doesn't deserve to give you that, even if he knew how to do it.

You're just too good. Everything Jason isn't. He feels like he's dragging you down with him when you offer to keep emergency weapons for him hidden in your apartment. He's definitely staining everything you are with his greedy hands when you start keeping extra first aid kits in your closet.

But for the life of him, he can't stop. Can't stop his familiar trek to your windowsill. Can't stop craving the hugs you offer, the conversations you share.

He wants this forever. He wants to keep this– you– whatever this is, in between his fingers and never let go. (He could if you'd just let him) You would.

And when you clean out a drawer in your dresser for him to keep clothes in, when you stock your cupboards with all his preferred foods, fill your shelves with his favorite books, and play the songs he loves to hum along to, he selfishly lets himself believe you might want this forever too. You do.

[its-avalon-08]

the paths we didn't take (cl16)

part7!

multipart story! part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6

Summary : Years ago, Charles Leclerc and Y/N promised to let each other go—for his dreams, for her freedom. No calls, no texts, just memories they buried deep. But when fate reunites them in Monaco, old scars and unresolved feelings resurface. Some loves are unforgettable, but can they find their way back, or is it too late?

✦ pairing - charles leclerc x female reader

Chapter 7: "Unraveled"

Y/N stood by the curb, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, the cool night air doing little to calm the storm inside her. Her thoughts were a chaotic mess, replaying the brief, heart-stopping moment she had locked eyes with Charles. The years apart had done nothing to prepare her for the rush of emotions she felt seeing him again. She blinked back the tears threatening to spill, silently willing her cab to hurry up.

“Y/N!” Lando’s voice called out behind her, his footsteps quick as he caught up. “Hey, where are you going?”

She turned slightly, her composure faltering when she saw the genuine concern etched on his face. “I just... I needed some air,” she muttered, trying to keep her voice steady.

Lando frowned, noticing the glistening tears in her eyes. Without hesitation, he pulled her into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around her as if shielding her from the world. “Hey, hey, what happened? Are you okay?”

Y/N clung to him for a moment, the warmth of his embrace grounding her. She took a shaky breath, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just... I saw him after all these years, and I don’t know how to react.”

Lando pulled back slightly, his hands resting on her shoulders as he studied her face. “You mean Charles?”

She nodded, biting her lip to stop it from trembling. “Yeah. I thought I was over it, you know? But seeing him... it just brought everything back.”

Lando gave her a small, understanding smile, his eyes filled with empathy. “It’s okay. It’s a lot to process. You don’t have to figure it all out right now.”

Y/N shook her head, wiping at her eyes. “I thought I moved on, Lando. I really did. But tonight... it was just so unexpected.”

“You don’t have to explain,” he said softly. “You’ve been through a lot. It’s okay to feel confused.”

As they stood there, Charles leaned against the balcony railing above, watching the scene unfold below. His heart sank as he saw Y/N in Lando’s arms, the way she leaned into him, the way Lando held her with such care. The sight of her tears stirred something deep inside him, but the rational part of his mind told him to let it go.

“She’s moved on,” Charles whispered to himself, a bitter smile tugging at his lips. “She doesn’t care anymore.”

With a deep breath, he turned away from the balcony, shaking his head to clear the lingering confusion. The weight of their history still pressed on him, but he forced himself to focus on the present. If she was fine, if she had someone like Lando by her side, then he had no reason to dwell on the past.

“Time to let it go,” he muttered, heading back into the club, the loud music and flashing lights quickly enveloping him once more.

Outside, Y/N pulled back from Lando, offering him a small, grateful smile. “Thanks for being here.”

“Always,” Lando replied, his voice gentle. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I will be,” she said, nodding. “I just need to get home and clear my head.”

“Alright,” Lando said, giving her one last reassuring squeeze. “Text me when you’re home, okay?”

“I will,” she promised, her voice steadier now. As her cab finally pulled up, she gave him a small wave before slipping inside, leaving the night—and all its unexpected emotions—behind her.

As the cab drove away, Y/N leaned her head against the window, letting out a long sigh. She had seen him, faced the past she thought she had left behind. But now, more than ever, she realized the journey to truly moving on was far from over.

----

A loud knock echoed through Y/N’s apartment, pulling her from the depths of a pounding headache. She groaned, burying her face deeper into her pillow, trying to escape the bright morning light streaming through the window. Another knock, more insistent this time, made her reluctantly sit up.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming!” she muttered, throwing on a hoodie as she stumbled towards the door. As she swung it open, the sight before her made her blink twice.

“Good morning, sunshine!” Lando beamed, holding two steaming cups of coffee, his grin as bright as the sunlight she was trying to avoid. “Figured you could use some caffeine.”

Y/N squinted at him, rubbing her temples. “Lando, it’s barely morning. What are you doing here so early?”

He waltzed in without waiting for an invitation, setting the coffee on the table. “It’s almost noon, you lazy bum. Besides, I thought you’d need this after last night’s little adventure.”

Y/N groaned, flopping onto the couch and pulling a blanket over her head. “I’m officially never drinking again.”

Lando chuckled, sitting on the edge of the couch and nudging her with his elbow. “Oh, come on. You were the life of the party until, well... you know.”

She peeked out from under the blanket, giving him a mock glare. “Don’t remind me.”

“Fair enough,” he said, handing her a cup of coffee. “Here, drink this. It’ll help.”

She took it gratefully, sipping the warm liquid. “Thanks. You’re not so bad for a nosy friend.”

“I aim to please,” he quipped, leaning back with a satisfied smile.

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Lando’s expression turned serious. “Actually, I came by for a reason.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What’s up?”

“Well,” he began, dragging out the suspense with a mischievous grin, “it seems McLaren is interested in working with your business.”

Y/N nearly choked on her coffee. “What? Are you serious?”

Lando laughed at her reaction, nodding. “Completely serious. They want a meeting with you to discuss potential collaborations.”

She stared at him, wide-eyed. “Lando, this is huge! How did this happen?”

He shrugged, trying to downplay his role. “I might have mentioned your work to a few people. They were really impressed.”

Without thinking, Y/N launched herself at him, pulling him into a bear hug. “You’re amazing! Thank you so much!”

Lando laughed, wrapping his arms around her in return. “Hey, hey, easy! You’re going to crush me!”

She pulled back, her face glowing with excitement. “I can’t believe this. I owe you big time.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said, brushing it off with a wave of his hand. “Just promise me one thing.”

“Anything,” she replied eagerly.

“Don’t forget about me when you’re swimming in all that McLaren money,” he teased, winking.

Y/N rolled her eyes, laughing. “I could never forget you, Lando.”

He grinned, standing up and stretching. “Alright, I should get going. But seriously, congrats. You deserve this.”

“Thanks,” she said, her smile softening. “For everything.”

“Anytime,” he replied, heading towards the door. “Now, go get ready. You’ve got a big meeting to prepare for.”

As he left, Y/N sat back down, her mind racing with excitement and possibilities. The hangover was now the least of her worries, replaced by the thrill of a new opportunity—one that she wouldn’t have imagined even in her wildest dreams.

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

taglist : @jenxjar @noam-rosier-icr @prttylight @gluecksbaerchieee

@janeh22 @tobucina @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @weekendlusting

@wisestarfishbouquet @ricciardosheart @leclercdream @sltwins

@vyctorya @mel164  @dazecrea @lol6sposts @raynetargaryan2

@ricciardosheart @leclercdream @sltwins @vyctorya @f1fantasys

[ender-cloud]

NEW UPDATE!!! God I love Lanyon so much im so hyped to dive into this

Tgs spoilers under cut

Something ive noticed with many characters in TGS is their persistence to keep everyone to have this view of them. Jekyll, of course, wants to be seen as the perfect, put together, leader of the society, while Hyde wants to be seen as someone who doesn’t really care about stuff, someone who’s tough and carefree.

In this case Lanyon seems to be closer to Hyde than Jekyll on this front. He wants to keep his “i dont care about anything” appearance, it shows how he presents himself in studies as well as playing the guys in his university. Even now Lanyon sometimes acts as if he doesn’t care about Jekyll or his issues but in reality, Lanyon cares a lot for very certain things.

By trying to act as though he doesn’t care makes it so he cares more, and Jekyll is reasonably confused by this.

I like how Jekyll more approaches Lanyon being confused and just wanting to understand why than a more judgmental approach. Jekyll just doesn’t understand, I dont think he’s Judging Lanyon as much as he just wants to know why.

He has a different goal to prove himself to people so he wants to know why Lanyon can prove himself but chooses not to.

To bring back what i said last week; Lanyon is smart, he knows things, but he acts like he doesn’t as a way of defying his father. But now that im looking at it, it’s s once again an example of reputation and how trying to keep it up can hold you back on many fronts.

Lanyon was quick to change the subject, he doesn’t want Jekyll, or anyone around them, to figure out the truth but the seeds had already been planted in Jekylls mind and now he’s connecting some dots he hasn’t thought of before.

“The second you put your mind to anything, you take to it like a duck in water” Lanyon puts his mind to a lot of things but I think he truly only gets into them if he actually wants to.

For example; when he was trying to not Care about jekyll during the society fair thing (i need to reread so bad I just dont have the time) he wasnt able to, it was like he was trying to force himself not to care like his university days but whenever he saw Jekyll he had to remind himself over and over again to push that care down.

Lanyon might’ve not needed to force himself to care as much during university but it might’ve taken a bit to get to this point of being able to do it easily. But if its something he truly cares about he has a hard time pretending that he doesn’t or is very determined to keep it like his reputation.

Ngl, if I was Lanyon and someone looked at me like that I would break in a second.

Lanyon can tell that Jekyll is close to figuring him out and its both scary in this moment aswell as surprised. No one has been able to put this together, no one else has seemed to care this much before or has gotten so close to him to see multiple signs

Lanyon is stronger than me and did not break but I would’ve been in shambles.

Lanyon Always says that he doesn’t care when Jekyll catches him? I think that shows how much he does care if he has to constantly remind that he doesn’t means that he must show that he does at some points, and it also indicates that Jekyll asked more in the future, just because of Lanyon saying he said it whenever he was caught of guard.

I genuinely love Lanyon so much, there’s so much to his character and its so interesting to me, he definitely is up as one of my favorite characters of all time. He just as so much depth to him, how much he doesn’t care yet does care, I like characters with a lot of depth more than just what you can see on the surface.

Whenever we get to see his thoughts it can give us more explanation and more of an understanding than what Jekyll had seen.

I want to know why Lanyon brought this up, the only thing I can think of is trying to lure Jekyll out but it’s still interesting,

[ivymarquis]

Say You Won't Let Go

Greedy Little Thing

Pairing| John Price x F!Single Mom!Reader Rating| E Word Count| 4.3k Kinks/Content/Warnings| Zombie!AU, PiV, Oral (F!Receiving), pregnancy sex, wee bit of lactation kink

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

If you thought your solo play time in the shower would calm you down, you thought wrong. 

You’re truly spinning out and losing your mind. That is the only reasonable explanation for the level of arousal flooding your system at the moment. 

All of a sudden you can’t help but be keyed into John’s every move. And surely you are projecting every depraved thought squirming around in your little brain- you’re imagining that he’s encroaching that much more into your personal space. His hands- broad and warm- gentle as always feel a bit firmer with his hold as he either brushes past you or herds you where he wants you.

You’re distracted, eyes fixated at the boarded up windows like they’re a big screen showing your favorite sitcom. The book you found lies open on the table, failing to capture your interest in favor of your imagination. Of another universe where John’s interest isn’t a figment of your imagination and he’s willing to do something about it. 

“Something on your mind, Love?” John’s voice startles you out of your thoughts and has you jumping on reflex. “Easy- ‘s just me,” he soothes as he crosses the distance from the doorway to the table you’re sitting at. 

“Nothing important,” you answer breezily, trying desperately to hide that you were just thinking about the various ways he could fold you like a piece of paper. Can always lie and claim to be reminiscing on the past.

He has no reason to doubt you, the rumbling hum of acknowledgment from him showing that you’ve not gained any unwanted attention. 

You don’t know what’s wrong with you, what all of a sudden has you acting like a cat in heat. The only thing you haven’t done at this point is lift your skirts and bend over the table in invitation. 

Any hope you may have of getting back into your book is dashed as he comes closer. 

You’ve never been one to fixate on how a man smells- and not even cologne, since that’s not an option these days really. But how he actually smells- you have no idea if you’re pulling off subtle well, but he smells divine and you know nothing will get done if you don’t get a hold of yourself. 

Hopefully your sinful thoughts are not evident on your face, but if they are then he doesn’t call you on it. 

It’s not uncommon for John to leave you alone for stretches and sporadically swing by to check on you. You know he’s in the neighborhood lurking for supplies and hoping to scrap up radio parts. 

The drop ins soothe your anxiety- that he is just across the street, or a few houses down. 

Although it’s still the end of the world and anything can happen. You begrudgingly accept that he has to leave on occasion so you don’t starve to death in the middle of winter in this frozen tundra.

“Gonna need to go further out today, Love. Not sure when I’ll be back.”

Your displeasure is blatant across your face. 

“None of that, now,” he reproaches firmly. “I’ll come back when I can. I want you back upstairs before the sun goes down.”

You’re pouting like a child, your earlier fantasies completely derailed as your thoughts swirl around the anxiety of being abandoned. Of course there’s a part of you that knows this is an inevitability. There’s only so many supplies in the area. John is reluctant to move you, knowing that the pair of you are relatively safe and hidden which means he’ll have to move further out to scavenge to care for you.

Your lack of an immediate response prompts him to reach out and cup your face, prying your mind from your surly thoughts. By now you know him well enough to understand the cue for what it is- a silent ask for you to soften back up to him and quit being a brat about him leaving. 

The logical part of your brain understands that there’s no choice considering you don’t wish to starve to death. Unfortunately until further notice your hormones are what call the shots so you can’t help yourself other than to be in duress over the thought of John leaving you for more than a few hours. 

“Why are you being difficult, hm?” He ponders, tone substantially softer than one might expect.

“I’m not trying to be,” you protest gently, settling into his hold. 

“And yet here we are,” his tone is more amused than anything else.

His free hand drops to your belly, something that immediately garners the attention of your baby who gives a volley of kicks. 

“You can’t wind him up and then leave me here alone to deal with him,” now it’s your turn to reproach John good naturedly.

Again, you blame your hormones. You like John’s hands on you- like John touching you. 

“He’ll be a good lad for his mummy, won’t he?” He prompts the baby, and you don’t protest as his hand smooths down your belly. 

This time your child is not called to action, deciding to spare your poor ribs from another litany of kicks. You decide to not question the way he immediately quiets down at John’s prompting. 

Despite the conversation you just had, you can’t help but pout and mope as John leaves. You keep it to yourself, even though you know your anxiety is bleeding through and he knows exactly what your thoughts on the matter are. 

There’s nothing to be done for it though, so you’re left alone with nothing but Fred’s shadow and your child for company.

You listen to John’s request and begin your trek up the stairs just before it starts to get dark. The natural lighting in the house is weird and casts odd shadows. It's overcast and a new moon, which will leave little to guide you with when the sun goes down.

With only your thoughts to occupy you, you think about silly little things because if you don’t then you’ll be cognizant of the crushing realization of your solitude. That John is out there somewhere in the murky darkness and there is no guarantee that he will come back to you. 

You’d have made a piss poor military wife.

It’s easier to think about how things could be in another life- if you would have met the handsome captain in some bar and flirted shamelessly in the hopes that he liked you enough to take you home and show you a good time.

That you were at his home, in his bed, with his baby nestled under your ribcage.

But you’re not, although in a way you are as close to that fantasy as you can get. 

You’re tucked into the little hidey hole that John has chosen to squirrel you away, waiting for his return upstairs just as he asked while your child does somersaults and uses a kidney for soccer practice.

Somewhere between bouts of fretting, you manage to fall asleep. It’s certainly not the best sleep of your life by any stretch but you’ve also had worse without question.

It’s also easily disrupted. There’s a part of you that is still keen to your surroundings- that’s still aware that you’re alone in the dark and the cold, and that to truly slip under the haze of sleep could sign your death warrant.

You don’t quite wake at the sound of the door creaking, but you drift that much closer to the land of the living. 

It’s when the bed dips under his weight that you stir, partly in offense at the cold air that creeps under the covers with him.

The greeting that escapes you is more of a whine than anything else, hands grabbing at him and trying to burrow under the weight of him.

“I’m right here, lovely- told you I’d be back.” He soothes you like an over reactive pet that’s absolutely enthralled with his return and showcasing it by trying to crawl into his skin.

He’s warm, a welcome reprieve from the biting cold waiting for you just outside your blankets. You want to melt at the sensation of his hands on your back. You’re a puddle of a human being in his hold.

And somewhere between your squirming and his soothing, you’re not completely sure who ends up kissing who first but you have zero complaints.

Quickly your searching hands find purchase on him, just as his anchor you to him.

You’re drowning, you think- head dizzy, completely disoriented as lust burns through you. This is everything you’ve been pining for and now that it’s in your hold you don’t quite know what to do with it. 

John rolls you gently onto your back as the pair of you break for air- hovers above you, mindful of your belly while still not being too far away.

“Tell me to stop,” he looks as flustered as you feel, and a part of you preens in the knowledge that you’ve impacted him the way he’s impacted you. That you haven’t been the only one yearning for more. 

“Please don’t s-“ you don’t even finish the sentence before he’s on you again, the covers rustling as he shuffles to position himself closer to you.

“Good girl” he praises against your lips, the words itching something seated deep inside you.

John’s hands roam your body, searching for the hemline of your dress only to hike the skirt up to your hips once he finds it. 

“Please,” you whimper and try to arch under his touch. 

Rather than immediately diving under the skirt of your dress, he continues to feel up your chest, back, hips and thighs. You could practically melt at the attention, gladly feeling him up in turn before your hands grope down his chest to pry at his shirt. Your make out is briefly interrupted as he shucks his shirt, although in the dim lighting of the dark it’s hard to fully appreciate everything he’s displaying at the moment.

“God, you are soft,” he marvels, lips leaving yours to kiss down your neck. 

You realize that he’s trying to keep the covers over you as he works your dress up your body, pooling the fabric around your collar bones as his attention drifts from your neck to your sternum.

One hand gropes at a breast as he teases your nipple with his tongue, immediately making you gasp and grab his hair. 

“Gentle!” You correct him- while under normal circumstances his grip on you would have been perfectly acceptable, you’re currently very pregnant and part of that means your chest has been sore the last few weeks. You’re so sensitive now. 

“I’m sorry, lovely. I’ll be gentle,” he apologizes, and you relax back into the mattress.True to his promise, John is far more careful of where he gropes and kisses, delighting in all the noises you make.

The sensitivity in your breasts has you squirming underneath him, whining in pleasure.

You feel strung out and desperate, some nebulous part of you aware that you're in trouble if you're already this amped up and he's barely begun to touch you yet.

Arching into his hold, you both freeze at the same moment you feel something akin to a release in the pressure of your chest. You haven't quite been sure when you would start actually lactating- knowing that the real stuff wouldn't come in until after birth, but knowing that there was the colostrum prior.

You're not quite sure what you feel. Flustered? Relieved? Embarrassed? But John remains unflappable, a mere "Tastes sweet" before returning to the task at hand.

The hand not anchoring your breast for his mouth drifts down your side, ghosting over the fabric of your underwear. You're wet- keenly aware of how his fingers trace across your skin. Gooseflesh rises in the wake of his touch, something to do less with the all encompassing chill that you two are trying to avoid and more to do with the lust that is firmly growing in your belly. The gusset of your panties doesn't take long to soak as he teases you over the fabric.

Your hips twitch, trying desperately to follow his fingers. 

You want more. It's been so long since you've had anyone touch you, and the weight of John over you feels phenomenal. "Please, John- I need you to touch me." Never in all your days have you actually begged a man to touch you, but your life has just been full of unexpected surprises lately.

"I'll take care of you, lovely- gotta be patient," he consoles you, paired with a teasing suck of one nipple before moving across your chest to get to the other one.

You don't want to be patient. You want him- now- and even though you actively have him right in this moment it's somehow still not enough. You'd say you're like an animal in heat, but animals in heat aren't usually ready to calve at any moment. It's almost alarming how little control you have over your own body right now. You're little more than your most base urges with spread thighs and heaving breaths as you keenly watch him.

"Gotta get you ready for me, sweetheart," he soothes with his words as his hand slips under the waistband of your panties. "'m not a small man- don't want to hurt you."

You feel dizzy just at the thought. You're well acquainted with what he's packing at this point, and the knowledge he's going to try to make sure it's good for you too is enough for you to find what minimal patience you possess.

The feel of his fingertips lightly searching for your clit has your legs spreading and thighs twitching in anticipation. He's an insufferable tease, tracing the pad of one calloused fingertip around your vulva and teasing the seam of your lower lips. Just enough to keep you keyed in on him, hook line and sinker, whining for more like an anxious dog. 

When he finally parts your pussy with his fingers, you arch up into his hold as he spreads your wetness around. "Bein’ such a good girl f'r me" his praise is low and gravely and shoots straight between your thighs. 

God the things that this man could make you do if he asked you nicely.

"John, please!"

"So impatient" he chuckles against your soft skin, nipping at you ever so carefully. Just enough to get your skin between his teeth, the squeal that escapes you more in anticipation than from any actual discomfort.

He shushes you, lapping at the patch of skin that he nipped in a mock apology as the hand slipping between your lower lips slides one finger inside of you.

There's certainly more to his one finger than to your own, and you must be such a greedy little thing tonight because you're still wanting another finger. John is in no hurry it seems, content to rock his one finger in and out of you as your body gets wetter in preparation of future events. 

His hand doesn't leave from between your thighs, but he moves further under the covers where they've obscured him completely, falling around your collar bones. Certainly warmer for the pair of you for him to do this like this, although your hips are already rocking. 

You've got a reasonable guess on what he's about to do, but not being able to physically see him does, you admit, add a certain level of excitement. There's nothing you can do other than lay on your back patiently like a good girl and wait for him to make his next move. His warm breath on your pussy makes you jolt, a thrill shooting up your spine.

 You haven't gotten head in ages- certainly not with your last beau.

"Try to be quiet for me, lovely. Don't need anything outside hearing your pretty noises," is all the warning you get before he's lowering his mouth to you.

It is certainly easier said than done- partly you manage to keep your whines and whimpers down, but it just makes your eyes want to roll back the way John doesn't hesitate to put his tongue to work.With a cursory lap of your vulva, he's quick to hone his attention on your clit while his finger continues to slip in and out of you.

 After a few thrusts of his wrists you have to turn your head and muffle yourself with a pillow as he gives you the second finger you've been so keen for. His fingers stroking you from the inside paired with his tongue on your clit is certainly enough to work you steadily towards your orgasm.

You're not sure that you're going to last much longer when he starts to crook his fingers against the anterior wall of you- seems he knows exactly how to try to wring out every last drop of pleasure from you, and you're more than game to let him.

"John," your whine is a small, pleading thing this time- not the same feverish anxious plea from earlier, attempting to get him to give exactly what you want. This is a softer cry, a plea and an acknowledgement all wrapped together that he will take you where you're trying to go if you'll just let him do it.

Cold be damned, your activities under the sheets have a sheen of sweat breaking out over your skin. You pull the blanket off of you, partially because you're starting to get hot and partially on the reflex that you want to watch him- although that isn't really going to be an option with your belly in the way. "Oh my God, please don't stop,” you beg, perfectly able to picture the smug grin on his face as you feel the vibration of him chuckling in amusement at you.

Your squirming is dealt with swiftly as he grips one of your hips with his free hand, holding you in place as you rock against his mouth. The pleasure coiling in your belly twists down tighter and tighter, your staccato breaths hitching as he pushes you closer to your climax.

Right when the dam breaks, it seems both of you were on the same page- one of your hands clamping over your mouth to muffle yourself right at the moment John straightens a bit and abandons your hip in favor of trying to cover your mouth as well.

Which suddenly puts you in the position of being completely at his mercy- that he's using the hand buried between your legs to see how much he can get you to squeal now that your noises are  muffled to his standard. 

When he lets up, you're dizzy and gasping for air. This is so much more intense than the orgasm you'd brought yourself to in the shower and that one had literally brought you to your knees. There's a part of your brain still cognizant enough that you want to return the favor- That he's made you feel absolutely divine and it's only fair to reciprocate that. 

However, rather than functional words, all you can come up with is to just paw at the top of his pants, mumbling more so than speaking "I want- I-"

Despite your complete lack of clarity, he seems to understand what your mission is regardless.

 "We can worry about that later, Love," he assures you, coaxing you onto your side and getting in close behind you. Despite having just gotten yours, for a moment you are incredulous at the idea that he's about to just tuck you back into bed and go to sleep.Then you realize the covers are still down around your ankles, and your night dress up across your breasts- and, blessedly, that he's pulling down his pants. 

God you wish you could see it, but between the darkness and the angle with him behind you it's not really an option. You can see enough shadows to have a vague idea of where he is behind you, but also the lack of vision is adding to the experience. 

Just groping and touching in the dark like a pair of frisky teenagers trying to not get caught.

"I've got what you need right here, pretty girl- lift your leg up for me," he instructs and you comply immediately. 

Oh God he's big. You knew that, sorta- have been well acquainted with what he feels like pressing up against you with morning wood. And he just told you that you needed to be prepped in order to take him. 

But somehow this feels completely different, and here you are lying soft and compliant on your side with your legs spread wondering how the fuck he's going to make it fit.You're completely gagging for it either way. 

"Please, please, plea-" you beg, head turning his direction in the dark even if you can't see well. Your begging is cut off as he drags his cock across your swollen folds, sensitive from the earlier attention he paid to you. 

"Easy, lovely. Told you I'd take care of you," he instructs, and it takes everything in you to lie still in his hold while he lines himself up with you.

Your mind is spinning a hundred miles an hour, excited by the prospect as he finally pushes the head in and gives a shallow thrust.

His chest is lined up to your back, one hand helping prop up your thigh to give better access. It's the most intimate position the two of you can manage, and it gives you a front row seat as he groans low in the back of his throat.

Oh, you like that noise.

You want to hear him make it again.

"Christ you're warm," he chokes, and a deep satisfaction rolls through you. Just knowing that he's as affected by you, as you are by him is enough to stroke your ego.

"John, I can't wait anymore," you whine, pushing back against him in encouragement for him to move. Since when did you become such a needy little mess? It would be embarrassing if you could bring yourself to care. 

You've been long overdue for a good romp between the sheets, and you are just thrilled to pieces that the captain has decided to be the one up for the task.

"You are an impatient creature, aren't you pet?" His admonishment is a gentle thing, as are his first few thrusts as your bodies acclimate to each other.

"It feels so good. Want you to feel good too," you plead your case, and really who was he to disagree with that?

"Feels fuckin' incredible, lovely, don't you worry about that. Sweet pussy of yours has me like a vice," You push back against his thrusts, eyes rolling as the angle lets him hit that one spot in you. Pragmatically, this position was the best to allow the pair of you to be close to each other while not overcrowding around your belly- allow some level of intimacy, as John is able to get up close behind you, and you can reasonably turn to touch and paw at him. But God is it also working for you as far as bringing you pleasure. Each time his hips bury against the plush of your ass he hits that spot that makes your leg shake in his hold.

"Gonna get you there, lovely, just-" it strokes your ego that he's babbling slightly as he speaks. That he's just as excited to have access to your body, to let you have him like this.

"John, right there- I, ah!- Oh God, right there," your pleading seems to just ramp him up. He's not rough with you by any stretch, just clearly comfortable that he's not going to hurt you and confident that your body's acclimated to take all of him. It's your turn to babble, whimpering and whining in his hold. The hand holding your thigh spread coaxes your leg over his hip, hand drifting back to your clit to stroke the little bundle of nerves.

"Just like that, hm?" he asks you like your eyes aren't almost crossing from how good he's giving it to you.

"Oh my God, please!" your brain's possibly broken. Your entire universe has condensed down to you, and him, and this bed and how damn good he's making you feel. 

A quick study, he's already learned your tells that you're inching closer to your climax.

"You can do it, pet- cum for me. I wanna see your pretty face when you cum all over my cock.”

You’re past words, clinging to him with one hand and the sheets with the other as you breathe and try to relax your tensing body.

“That’s it, good girl- deep breaths,” he coaxes you, and that’s the magic combination to get you seeing fireworks. 

He must still doubt your ability to stifle your orgasm yourself, muffling your noises by grabbing your face and turning it so he can kiss you. You certainly have no complaints, aware by the way his pace changes for a few thrusts that he’s not very far behind you before reaching his own end.

For a moment, the pair of you recline in silence as you come down from your respective highs. The heat the two of you made quickly starts to dissipate in the night with the covers still bunched at the foot of the bed, making you shiver as the cold finally settles back over you.

That movement is enough to bring John out of whatever post coital bliss he was in, shifting behind you to pull out.

“Hang on, love,” he instructs while pulling his pants back over his hips before pulling your dress back down your legs and grabbing the covers.

You feel calm for the first time in days, content to laze on your side with John behind you as he snuggles in next to you.

You remember turning your head back towards him for one last kiss- something slow and soft and gentle- and don’t even realize it when you fall asleep.

Age in bio/pinned or I will block you ♡

[akookminsupporter]

Why do you think jikook chose to serve together?

Also, why not jimin and tae if they're soulmates? Why not jungkook and tae? Why do you think they did it?

I feel like I’ve answered this question more times than I can count over the past year but I post way too much, so finding my first answer feels impossible. That said, I’m happy to answer it again, haha.

Anon, the most honest responses I can give you are:

Because they wanted to. Because they didn’t want to. And because they didn’t want to either.

Let me start by saying that, as fans, anything we discuss about the members’ decisions is pure speculation. We’re piecing things together based on the limited information we have, and at the end of the day, that’s all it is—our interpretation of the choices they’ve shared with us.

That said, I believe Jimin and Jungkook made the decision to enlist together because they’re the closest members of the group. Their bond is unique, and that’s been obvious to anyone paying attention over the past 10 years. I imagine they considered the pros and cons of enlisting together and concluded that it was the best decision—not just practically, but emotionally. Most importantly, it seems like it’s what they both truly wanted.

Over the past year, I’ve seen fans speculate about their reasons, saying things like, “They did it because X needed the emotional support of Y” or “Y needed the physical support of X.” And while those are valid perspectives, I’ve always leaned towards a simpler explanation: they just needed each other.

over the past 10 years, I think we all have noticed that their bond is unique. It’s clear they provide mutual comfort and understanding in ways that don’t seem to happen with the other members. There’s a certain synchronicity between them—a level of shared traits, habits, and even ways of thinking that make them perfectly attuned to one another. They’re simply each other’s person. So, if they had the chance to face one of the most challenging periods of their lives together, why wouldn’t they take it?

We don’t know if Jimin wanted to enlist with Tae or if Jungkook wanted to enlist with Tae but Tae wasn’t on board. Based on the brief exchange they had about it on AYS, it doesn’t seem like that was ever the case. From the beginning, it always seemed like the plan was for Jimin and Jungkook to enlist together, and that decision alone says a lot about the kind of relationship they share.

Their decision to enlist together doesn’t confirm or deny anything about the romantic nature of their relationship—that’s not something we can speak to with certainty. What it does prove, however, is that Jimin is the Cristina to Jungkook’s Meredith, and vice versa. If you’ve been paying attention, that’s been obvious for a long time. They’re soulmates in every way that matters—whether that’s platonic or something more we don’t know for certain.

The fact that some people still deny the strength of their bond or downplay it is another story entirely. But for me, it's crystal clear after everything we’ve seen.

And since someone asked about this recently—yes, Tae said Jimin is his soulmate, and I absolutely believe they are. But that doesn’t mean Jungkook isn’t Jimin’s soulmate too, just in a different way. That much is obvious.

Sometimes, I get frustrated when I see debates about this, haha. It’s so clear that Jimin and Tae care about each other deeply, but their relationship is completely different from the one Jimin shares with Jungkook. And from the one Tae has with Jungkook. Each dynamic is unique, and each connection is valuable. Why is that concept so hard for some people to grasp?

Lastly, since they enlisted, we haven’t heard much about them. But in the little we have seen, read, and heard, it’s clear it was the best decision for them. Jungkook pretty much confirmed it during his last surprise Wlive.

It’s obvious they’re not just a source of calm and stability for each other but also a sense of normality amid everything. I mean, how many times did we hear one of them mention, before all this, that they’d spend hours talking about music, singing, or practising together? How many times did we hear them say that after a long day of work or commitments, they’d still end up together?

No one goes through the whole process they had to go through to apply for the buddy system just for a simple colleague or someone you don’t feel completely secure and comfortable being around.

[strawberrymanifest]

Finally accepting the 3D never mattered

If you’ve been wondering how to ignore the 3D and accept 4D/imagination as the only reality without neglecting the 3D or living in denial, then this is for you.

This post is heavily inspired by this post by @4dbeingguide so check it out after.

This part of their post made “ignore the 3D” click for me and what I’m going to be building on:

“what if what i’m doing won’t make anything manifest in the 3D?” then boo-fucking-hoo? it wouldn’t even matter because that’s not where you live. you’re 4-dimensional. […] think about this question: “what if it doesn’t manifest in the 2D (a world of only length and width)?” i bet you’re like “womp womp? the fuck would that have to do with me? it’s not real and I don’t live there!” give that SAME energy to the 3D. you live in the 4D.”

So if we remember geometry class, we understand that the 2D is a hypothetical world of only length and width. (Think of a square). And the 3D is our world, with length, width, and depth. (Think of a cube)

The 3D takes the 2D and adds another dimension; depth. Likewise, the 4D takes the 3D and adds another dimension; your inner world of thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions.

So when we say 4D/imagination/inner self is the true reality, we can still acknowledge that 3D world exists! We just know that our reality is more than what the 3D is showing us. Let me explain.

You have never experienced a 3D circumstance without your mind generating some kind of assumption about that circumstance. For example, if you see a red round fruit your brain automatically assumes that it is an apple (or it assumes idk what that object is).

You cannot see the 3D without automatically assuming something about it. In this way, you have never “experienced the 3D”. You can only experience the 3D + assumptions of it aka the 4D. The 4D/imagination is your only reality.

You don’t live in 3D, you perceive it from the 4D.

The 3D is real. But what it’s showing us doesn’t matter once we see that the 4D, our thoughts and assumptions about the 3D, are the only thing that we truly experience.

You are not experiencing difficult circumstances. You are experiencing difficult thoughts and assumptions about the circumstances.

See the difference? See how this frees us from caring about the 3D?

Anytime a 3D circumstance happens that is “against” your desire remember that the 3D is not telling you don’t have your desire. The 3D can’t tell you anything, it’s just a bunch of shapes and colors. It’s your unconscious reaction to the 3D that is telling you that you don’t have your desire. And that is something you can change.

You are experiencing your unconscious thoughts/reactions, and you are calling it “difficult circumstances”.

You need to stop, become aware of your reactions to the 3D. Realize the 3D is not what you’re upset about, your assumptions are upsetting you.

But you know about the law, so you can change what you assume. Affirm, visualize, accept that it is done, and persist, in spite of what your mind’s automatic reactions say.

To wrap it up:

I personally don’t subscribe to the idea that “the 3D isn’t real” bc of course it is we can literally see it. However I do believe that the 3D doesn’t matter because it is not what we truly experience.

If you still haven’t been able to let go of what the 3D is showing you it’s because you haven’t realized that the 3D isn’t what is bothering you. It’s your mind’s unconscious belief system that is producing unfavorable thoughts related to the 3D.

The reason you’re struggling is because you don’t realize that every thought you have is an assumption, not a fact. Once you become aware of this you see that all that needs to change is your thoughts/beliefs/assumptions. If you are struggling to “just change” your beliefs, I will be making a post on how to stop being a victim to subconscious beliefs very soon.

(This is my first long post so lmk if anything I said wasn’t clear, I’d love to answer any questions!)

[prissyhs]

Never Meet Your Heroes • Chris Sturniolo

I’d never meant for it to happen. I just wanted him to notice me. Once. The fame and attention was only meant to be a temporary bonus. If any.

The goal was simple. Post a TikTok everyday until Chris Sturniolo commented. The first time I’d done it was literally a joke. It was me doing some stupid dance to Freak Hoe by Speaker Knockerz. The point of my plan was to do a song that Chris liked or had mentioned liking before, for every video. The caption read “Posting a TikTok everyday until my celebrity crush comments.” People were supposed to guess until he actually commented.

But that’s not exactly what happened. I kind of, for the lack of better words, went viral. People really enjoyed the concept of using different songs as hints and not to brag but, people really liked me. I was getting comments from so many different celebrities, which was also bringing more people to my page because they thought it was hilarious when I had to reject yet another celebrity because it was never him. It got to a point where I genuinely believed he was actively ignoring me. I had gained 8 million TikTok followers, surpassing him! It was comical at this point that he hadn’t commented. I was running out of songs and patience.

I was getting brand deals, invites to LA, and so much more. For a girl from a no-named town in the middle of nowhere; it was like a dream.

I couldn’t enjoy it though. For one, Chris still hadn’t commented. Second, what happens when he does? Does my five minutes of fame end? I go back to being nobody again. That was a sinking feeling I wouldn’t let into my mind. I refused to think about the what ifs? Or the future, at all for that matter.

The comment sections of my videos were just embarrassing at this point. Every single person had guessed it and I …couldn’t tell them yet. But everyone knew.

I had a secret weapon though. Something that was definitely going to work. I had saved Lil Skies for last. I hadn’t used a single one of his songs because I was afraid it’d be too obvious. Plus, to be honest, I didn’t really know any of his songs. The only one I knew was RAGE! and that was only because of Chris.

I wanted this one to be good too. Like, creative and having lots of camera angles. So, I recruited my little sister for the camerawork. She was surprisingly good at filming. I put on one of my best outfits that accentuated my body in a pleasing way. Because let’s face it; that’s what most of my audience is looking at. I also do my hair and makeup. I can’t even deny it; I looked really fucking good.

After it was all said and done, I watched the video over and over. I wanted to be sure because if it was true and he hadn’t seen me yet, this could be his first impression of me. I highly doubt he hasn’t though. I just don’t understand why he’s holding out on me.

I took a deep breath and posted the video. Captioning it, ‘This is getting ridiculous now. If he doesn’t comment on this one, I give up.” Within seconds, thousands of likes and comments came in. I read them as fast as I could.

NOOOO PLS CHRIS COMMENT

WTF CHRIS

it’s so obviously chris it’s like crazy atp

You’re soooooo hot my God

#needthat

Raw. Next question

The comments from random men truly and utterly disgusted me. When girls commented, it never bothered me. I loved it and it made me feel confident but the men’s comments just made me feel…dirty. I scrunched my face up and decided that was enough comments for tonight. I click my phone off and call my dog to come lay down with me. I went to sleep that night thinking of an imaginary world where Chris and I met and fell in love. Pathetic but it helped me fall asleep.

The next morning I woke up to my roommate, Piper, busting through my door. Scaring me and my dog. I jumped up as she started yelling.

“Y/N! Wake the fuck up right now! You finally did it!” She basically screamed as she clutched her phone in her hand.

“What?!” I scream back, still breathing heavy from her abrupt wake up call.

“He commented! Chris commented! Go look!” She jumped up and down in place and I felt dizzy with how fast I whipped around to grab my phone on the nightstand.

I unlocked it and wiped my eyes as they were still blurry from sleeping. I clicked on TikTok and felt my skin buzzing and heart racing as it loaded. After what felt like hours, my own profile popped up and I clicked on my most recent video. It felt like time slowed down as I clicked the comments. There it was. The most liked comment. Christopher Sturniolo.

I was waiting on you to use Skies

“What the fuck?” I spoke my thoughts out loud. I don’t really know what I expected him to say but that wasn’t it. I mean, I felt cheated. I’d spend the last month humiliating myself for the world to see to get his attention only to find out it was because of my song choices? Infuriating, to say the least.

“Everyone is saying he followed you though..” Piper tries to soften the blow since she can clearly see I’m not happy.

And I know that isn’t fair. I had my hopes entirely too high and I should be grateful he even commented. But damn, man. His response fucking sucked. So much so that I felt the need to tell him. Which I guess I could do now that he follows me back.

“Good, because I need to say something..” My fingers worked quickly as I slid onto his profile, clicking the little message button. I immediately clicked the message box to start typing away until I seen it.

He had already messaged me.

Hey I’m flattered by your posts and really enjoyed this entire experience.

Now that I got that out of the way, are you trying to link or what? 😁

Once again, I felt disappointed. I know I was being delusional about what he might want with me but it definitely didn’t sound like friendship or love. It sounded like he probably just wanted to fuck. Which deeply upset me. Enraged me, actually. So, I respond quickly.

really? that’s it?

I clicked my phone off and laid back in the bed, laying my arm over my face. I groan in frustration. He’s only a man. Why did I expect better?

“Are you okay?” Piper asked and came to sit next to me on the bed at the same time a buzz came from my phone. I sat up immediately and was shocked to seen he’d already replied.

What were you expecting? A proposal? 😭

“Oh my God, he’s an asshole!” I show Piper the message and she covers her mouth quickly to stifle her laugh. I glare at her.

“I’m sorry! His response was just kind of funny..” She said and I rolled my eyes before responding.

wow

you’re kind of a dick. ngl

His response was immediate, making it clear that he was staying on the messages.

Bro you don’t even know me

And there it was. The truth hurt worse than anything. He was one hundred percent right but it didn’t make his lack of appreciation any less shitty. He’s gained a lot of attention from my videos as well.

you’re so right. and now i don’t even want to.

Oh noooo ☠️☠️

“I hate him..” I say out loud as I try to think of something to say back, “I don’t know what to say to him, Piper.”

“Be the bigger person, Y/N..” She tells me and it was really hard but eventually I decided she was right and that was the better option.

chris, i was a really big fan of you and your brothers. but especially you. i thought you’d be different and maybe that was my mistake. i waited over a month for your reply and it sucked. then i open my messages to your other lame ass reply. i hope you understand i meant well with my posts and wanted to make you laugh maybe or compliment you. sorry if i was annoying.

“I’m sorry, babe. They say don’t meet your heroes..” Piper tells me and I scoff.

“No kidding..” I laugh.

My phone buzzed again.

You’re right, I was being a dick. I’m sorry.

I didn’t know what to say tbh

I felt so much pressure to say something cool when I finally replied that I fumbled completely and looked dumb asf

Would you be willing to fly out to meet me and my brothers as an apology?? That was my plan anyways

—————-

AN: Plssss be gentle this is my first post ever…I’m nervous asffff LMAO

What do you guys think??

Lowk Chris is an ASS in this but it’s how I pictured it. Should I make a pt. 2 or literally never write again hahahahaha

I have a lot of plans for this if you guys wanted me to continue

[imagionationstation]

Hey so sorry to bother you but… just saw you listen to Epic??? I know you’re a turtle nerd, as am I but… I NEED to know your favorite Epic song/favorite character right NOW PLEASE! You’re like one of the coolest people so to find out you also listen to Epic is…. Mmmmmmmm anyways I hope this isn’t weird or anything but PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW😭🙏🏻❤️

NOT WEIRD! LOVE THIS ASK! THANK YOU!

SERIOUSLY! I WOULD BE RANTING ABOUT EPIC 24/7 IF THIS WASN’T A TURTLES BLOG BELIEVE YOU ME

Alike to turtles, I have problematic views!! I look at things that 3/4 of the fandom shares a view in and go: That’s not what’s happening.

The people in my life have heard me ramble I cannot shut up:

I went to this event months ago and it did Trivia and a round was Greek Mythology and everyone in my group was like, “Neko, this is all on you. Don’t let us down” and I got 9/10 right. Go me ✨

Gonna see my bested friend soon! We never get to see each other so we’re making a day out of hanging out. We’re gonna watch the full saga. All of the two hours of it. I am collecting animatics. Silly goose thinks it’s an optional suggestion (it’s not <3)

(Don’t worry, I’m exploring outside interests too. It’s mutual 😜)

Asking me to pick a favorite song is like asking me to pick a favorite fanfiction child. All my children have gifts of their own to share and I love them all with everything that I have!!!

But if you’re asking what song I most commonly have played on repeat and/or belted on the top of my lungs when I’m alone…

I’m Not Sorry For Loving You tops everything else.

Based off this, I wanna say that Calypso is my favorite character. 🤔

I mean, I created a blog where our only purpose in life is to be safe in our horror and empathy for her situation and to acknowledge that she has so much nuance that the fandom doesn’t touch.

But I think if I’m being honest, it’s not her.

At the end of the day, my angsty heart is drawn to Athena.

DISCLAIMER: Controversal opinions ahead. Do not come yell at me if you do not agree. Tell me why I’m wrong, absolutely! But do it kindly and thoughtfully, and maybe we can have a conversation :D

I am passionate about this character. No aggression to the musical. Every song in the musical rocks. It’s merely my passion speaking.

Everything about her breaks my heart. She’s a goddess in a disfunctional family who doesn’t understand mortal ways.

Also, her dad is the most toxic dude alive.

I mean, there’s this one line that people portray in so many ways, but you watch how Zeus interacts with her and recall the fact that he literally didn’t want her to live when she was conceived- he is SUCH a bully and her respect only stems from him being ‘king of the gods’.

None of the gods step in during God Games. At no point does anyone go “dad you can’t threaten your daughter because she did exactly what you asked her to do”. Not even ARES.

He’s the one who says, mortified, “is she dead?” So he didn’t WANT that turn of events. He cares about her and her state of being.

She’s the only one willing to challenge Zeus and he literally says, “you won, I don’t care, I’m going to heavily punish you because I’m unhappy that you said a true statement I didn’t like”

I've no respect for bullies, those who impose their will I've seen plenty enough to truly understand this kind of filth

DO YOU SEE MY VISION?

Literally her entire life- no one’s been on her side! NO WONDER she doesn’t want to take Ody’s offer of friendship. Clearly no one has ever really given her trust or empathy that she can lean on.

She expects people to lack empathy. She doesn’t understand that he’s not that kind of person and her lessons won’t click.

Have you forgotten to turn off your heart? This is not you I see you changing from how I've designed you

Why would she trust a moral when she can’t trust the gods?

And she has such a temper which is so relatable.

They were in two different spectrums and that’s why they clashed.

She was running off of a mentor mindset. He was running off a friendship mindset. Neither was doing what the other needed for the relationship because they were not on the same page.

And then they hit the ditch in the road and everything cracked.

I mistook you for a general What a waste of effort spent

I'll remind you I saw you as a friend But now we're done

And Athena’s proclamation literally is a prediction for herself:

One day, you'll hear what I'm saying One day, you might understand One day, but not today

Time skip: the way that Athena talks to Telemachus says that she’s been stewing in regret because she KNOWS they were good friends and she didn’t want to admit it to herself. She understands why they clashed and now she doesn’t know what to do about it.

So this kid is like “I think you should help him even if he hates you. If he won’t accept your friendship then I’ll be here waiting.”

(*insert waiting, waiting, waiting mantra*)

AND THAT’S LITERALLY EXACTLY WHAT SHE NEEDED TO HEAR?

SHE LITERALLY JUST NEEDED TO KNOW SHE HAD ONE PERSON ON HER SIDE? ONE FRIEND WHO CARED ABOUT HER?

I’m a sucker for ‘doing everything for the people you care about but platonically’ and Athena is the PICTURE of ‘oh wait I would platonically die for my friend’ and like?? That’s beautiful??? 😭

My only qualm with EPIC is the way that the Ithaca Saga handled Athena because you cannot convince me that it did not do her dirty. I have read and scrolled and chewed on all the arguments.

That. Beautiful. Goddess. Went. Above. And. Beyond. To. Mend. Her. Mistake and he outright denied her friendship.

That was not a “oh yeah we can be friends later” very well.

That’s a voice cracking, heartbroken: “I took a thunderbolt for you and you don’t want me in your life” very well. LIKE.

Yes. Oddy went through a lot. No denying that.

But he called out for HER. After everything, he called out for HER HELP. Showed a belief in her. Counted on her to save him

AND SHE DID WHAT HE NEEDED. TOOK A THUNDERBOLT. BEGGED ON HER KNEES WHILE SUFFERING AND IN AGONY.

I can't help but wonder What this world could be If we all held each other with a bit more empathy I can't help but feel like I led you astray What if there's a world where we don't have to live this way?

{I messed up. I want to do better. Is that still possible?}

If that world exists It's far away from here It's one I'll have to miss For it's far beyond my years You might live forever So you can make it be But I've got one endeavor There's a girl I have to see

{No. You have thousands of years to make other friends. There’s no world where we can mend who we used to be. You do what you need to do. My only want is to be with my wife.}

LIKE if they were going to try, the song would SAY that they plan to try. Jorge is not afraid to strongly imply things or outright say them. Ody doesn’t WANT to try and be friends. All he wants is wife. Which would be valid if SHE DIDN’T TAKE A THUNDERBOLT FOR HIM

ONE THAT SCARRED HER EYE AND KNOCKED HER OUT FOR SEVERAL SONGS SO SHE COULDN’T BE THERE TO HELP

There was no reason, no obligation, nothing but her love and affection for him that drew her to take that punishment from Zeus.

There is no way, after everything, she’s asking him to be her warrior.

She’s literally saying she messed up. She wants to mend their relationship. She wants to do better for him.

He could have said, “I’m not a man who does empathy anymore but we can try” instead of “I have other plans, gonna have to miss this friendship train” because that is an awful diss. Straight painful.

This amazing song did her so dirty and I will never get over it.

Thank goodness for Telemachus. She’ll needs his optimism and joy and willing friendship after the sting from that bite.

[heaven4lostgirls]

‧₊˚✧ . ˚rosekiller‧₊˚✧ . ˚

asexual!evan x hypersexual!barty

‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ .

“i don’t know how to be what you need me to be ev” barty confesses, his voice no louder than a whisper.

his eyes clench in pain, he can’t lose evan because of this. it’s not his fault his father fucked him up so monumentally that barty can’t feel love without associating it with physical pleasure.

but merlin does he wish he was born different, it’s so fucking unfair that people got to walk around with happy families and he and the rest of his friends got dealt some of the shittiest hands in all of wizarding history.

he wants to be better than what he is, if not for himself, he owes it to evan.

barty knows he’s not good, but he can try for evan, for evan he’d do anything.

“i don’t need you to be anything other than what you are b, i just need you to accept that i can’t give you what you want” evan says as he lifts his pale hands to cradle the tanned boys cheeks

barty opens his eyes and evan admires how his eyelashes flutter as their gazes meet

and all at once, barty feels that overwhelming sense of comfort he only seems to find in evan’s presence

maybe this can work, maybe barty doesn’t have to work for evan’s love. maybe it’s just there, unrestrained and beautiful as if it’s as natural as breathing.

“i don’t want whatever you think i do, whatever i’ve done with other people- it doesn’t matter okay? this- us. what we have will always be different- more than anything else” barty rambles

he’s desperate for evan to understand. evan’s always been different to whatever fling he’s had.

nobody truly knows barty like evan does, there is no barty without evan, not in any way that matters.

evan only looks at him, his gaze searching. he’s not sure if he truly believes barty yet but there’s something in barty’s gaze that makes evan nod.

“okay” evan says, and hope floods through the dark haired boys gaze in front of him.

“okay? as in okay, you’re willing to try? with me?”

“it was always gonna be you junior, there’s no one else out there for me”

[frogatz]

hi . it has been over a year since i made this and i wanted to do a little retrospective :] lots of oversharing under the cut. mostly about covid .

i find a lot of value in this thing i made, so while i air out what this meant to me at the time i hope it doesn’t just read as pointless vent art. i wanted to get something across here. with that said, i have had covid two (2!) times and without being too explicit abt it, both instances left me disabled in new and exciting ways.

the first time i got covid i drew this for a class.

it was 2022, and several factors abt that period of time left me with a lot of feelings about surveillance, especially the way it was interacting with my very very sick mind. i made containers after getting covid for a second time a year and a half later, and was still processing what that meant for all the progress i lost. i consider this the kind of blueprint for containers, and personally count it as an unofficial, too early part of the zine. i tried to pay homage to it with the cover, but i think in the end they portray different things, with the cloud of sickness being more at the forefront in containers.

there is a through line i wanted to draw with “as above, so below”. i worried it would be too hard to understand what was going on since its flipped upside down, but i felt it was important enough that anybody who cared would find a way to view it LOL. the actual phrase and Symbol itself obviously has religious ties, but to be completely honest i am more interested in my personal interpretation . something about sameness, something about futility, but at the same time unexpected opportunity. as above, so below: you will find the same thing regardless of which direction you choose.

in the first panel we see a new box, and a yet unobserved statue. the “as above, so below” statue represents the unknown truth of the situation. we depart from that thread (but not really) to view something that is very personal to me: my house! or part of a house i used to live in. those 3 rooms were my enclosure when i got ill. it’s where i felt the most trapped. i am earnestly happy to not live there anymore

returning to “as above, so below” in the third panel, we can see that time has passed. the walls have been scraped, the statue has been clawed at, and there is a sense of surrender. this also ties in with the next panel, which i honestly wasn’t sure if i was going include in the zine. it harkens back to the blueprint in intention, so i ultimately didn’t end up replacing it.

the container is less defined in this one, so it’ll take some explaining. the square is centered around the head, tapered in a way that i wanted to invoke some sort of spotlight. post-covid i made the decision to seek out a cane, and a lot of grief and shame came along with it. i was back to being perceived, and i was back to being dependent.

the fifth panel shows an escape, and this is where the flipped perspective in “as above, so below” becomes the most important. looking at it as it is, it looks as if the tunnel has been dug down, deeper into the earth. then of course, if you flip it to be right side up you can read it as a tunnel upwards, towards whatever freedom might be waiting. at the time i was asking the question of if it mattered which direction it truly was going in. this was a time of self reflection and discovery for me all things considered, so i threw in a little something for me in the following panel. curiosity, a little machinery rep, and the “container” actually being a beam of light in the pitch dark, focused on the surroundings rather than the self . it’s the most overtly happy panel i think.

i broke up the “as above, so below” sequence to imply time, but im glad i laid out the final 3 panels the way i did. the transition between the last two was a happy accident that changed my own perception of what’s going on, and it’s interesting to me that this is only visible side by side like this in This version. the pdf is not laid out like this, it couldn’t be viewed this way on instagram either.

at the time i remember the original vision with the last panel is that i had created a pattern and i wanted to subvert it, although i can’t remember to what end. white is the container, and black is what defines it. there’s something there, but when i worked on this i felt like i was letting a lot of things go, so when the end took shape i just kind of let it happen.

i wanted to escape and become Something, and that’s where the hope was hidden for me. either genuine improvement or being comfortable where i was , i was just hoping for Something. i like it to be honest !! i think it was an important step for me, even if that knowledge comes mostly in hindsight.

anywaysss . that’s all ^.^ i hope i do not get horrifically embarrassed about airing out my thoughts like this but i am always proud of the deeper intentions i like to put into art . i do it often

hi . containers

[wickmitz]

every time i reread lackadaisy i become stronger about my conviction that fans are WAY too harsh on mitzi and misunderstand her completely. you go online and see people treating her like satan incarnate when she’s genuinely just a person who’s grieving and lost. her and mordecai are two sides of the same coin and it’s crazy that people are kinder to him ( when he kills people, brutally, all the time and without remorse ) but never to her … like the things i’ve seen people accuse her of is baffling enough to make me wonder if i’m genuinely misreading the text tbh. even her character sheet on the lackadaisy website says this :

cannot stress enough everything we’ve seen from mitzi and know about her, both in the past and present, proves she was a tender hearted sort of person. she is not ruthless or cruel naturally, and has to continuously decide to commit to the harsh edges she’s desperately trying to wear. she’s selfish, yes, and does have her own myriad of flaws -- but she’s hardly some manipulative mastermind with no warmth in her heart. and knowing this makes her arc and her scenes ache all the more for it tbh

[kavehater]

Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭

[quietwingsinthesky]

there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’

[aleeyenn]

Can you talk about more your headcannon about Tree and his relationship with Leafy

sure!!! i’ll try to keep it short (also shout out to my friend max for a bunch of these ideas he’s the one who made me like this headcanon and gave me all the juice max if you’re reading HAAAY!)

i like to think of tree as an older sibling to leafy but he’s super protective of her they’re close and love each other a bunch but they have disagreements especially revolving around firey because tree thinks firey is a bad person/influence on leafy because of what happened between them even after their problem was solved leafy of course still goes out with firey even tho tree disapproves and he is always sour about it but deep down he’s only like that because he’s worried firey is gonna take leafy away from him But of course! the problem will be solved eventually and they’ll talk it out and it’ll all be happy and nice i can never leave a story with a bad ending TEEHEE but yeah…

here is some old stuff i did with tjem!

[welcometobrightvale]

every day they release more neopass prizes and every day i am tempted to just convert my account. but im so so scared of getting locked out so i never do

[bushido-jack]

//my favorite thing lately has been scrubbing the internet for decades old samurai jack edits and amvs and watching them. there’s so much love for samurai jack in them, faith that he would be back to finish his tale one day, and it fits perfectly with the time it came out lol. the edits aren’t as great as they would be with technology nowadays and the music is often linkin park but there’s always an open love for Jack and the series in there. and there’s something about seeing people love Jack even when it’s not at it’s most angsty, when it’s just seasons 1-4, without the novelty, without anything else to focus on but what makes Jack Jack.