#you have a memory bout it!!!
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WHY DID YOU STOP THERE IT WAS GETTING GOOD TOO DAMN CLIFFHANGERS BRO
#aria rants#ariaplays: aitsf#momentarily forgot about the murders#am weak towards those typa love stories okay#LIKE!!! LIKE! THAT WAS SO SWEET#HE WAS WILLING TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER FOR HERRRRR#SHE GAVE HIM LIFE AGAIN LIKE MAAAAANNNN#FUCK ROHAN IM SO GLAD HES DEAD#date i feel like you have the other half of the story#you have a memory bout it!!!#were you the friend then?
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feelbad cuz my student asked if i ever got weirded out or sad during autopsy and i had to explain that every employee dissociates and compartmentalizes constantly. mental health win !
#wish i had a good answer but no either you can be naturally low empathy or dissociate a bit#we take the facts only we dont personalize#i mean we all need therapy probably desperately badly but its ALRIGHT for now#youll go crazy i think if u ponder on the details. thats why i hate when family calls us personally. i rlly dont wanna think bout that#when im drunk it gets to me sometimes i have a couple scenarios burned into my mind. guys help is this Trauma or normal memory recall
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thank yoy for drawing erik so big . He is a big man. HUGE EVEN. thank you.
Big man……….. i love me big man…..
#snap chats#i LOVE drawing big mfers and i hate that i have a core memory of when this all started for me#i had no chance it all started when i was a wee lad i knew id be doomed to lovin drawin big men djznKNs#its all the shapes… round… and the occasional squish yk…#also just. Big. i like big. bigger the better etc etc#i have a problem i am SICK#soeaking of problems Dilema what do i eat#my fam did just make adobo… my moms friends adobo so thats how you know its ESPECIALLY delicious#ong wait i was so caught up in the euphoria of meat i forgot the My Month Cant Get Worse news skOWNSSJ#SO I HAD A DOCS APPOINTMENT FOR MY MEDICINE AND LITERALLY LIKE. BEFORE I HEAD TO THE STATION#MY DADS LIKE ‘son our insurance isnt eligible anymore’ WHAT DO YOU /MEAN/#on a lighter note we were talkin bout when we’d go to the doc#and my dad was like ‘no gothic looks today’ abd i was like ‘lol fair’ and i made a joke about Being Normal Now#TELL ME WHY THIS MAN IMMEDIATRLY CALLS AFTER AND IS LIKE ‘my son im sorry you know i love your fashion :( youre always normal to me-#i didnt mean to offend’ LIKE DAD I WAS JOKING /ENOUGH/. ACTUALLY too fuckin silly and it says a lot#my dad always says Dont Say Sorry Unless You Have Something To Apologize For so the fact he /called/ a sec later#instead of leaving a quick apology or something. i do not apologize for dedicating half these tags to my dad#he is far too funny djOWDJSJEK BUT ANYWAY im gonna go eat ig idk#i have an online assignment due tonight but its a grouo assignment but no ones reached out despite me attempting to get ahold of them all 🫠#fingers crossed things turnaround idk… i hate online classes.. ok byebfiODJSJ
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oh my lord, my sister just sent me a pic from the first time i went to carowinds (a theme park) like... shit i guess over 20 years ago now? and i guess it's a bit of a testament to how much I've memorized all the available pictures of myself I have from when I was little because seeing a new photo will never not throw me the hell off. like, who is that girl? literally...WHO IS SHE?
What was going through her mind at any given point during that experience? Well, besides holding intense envy at being too young/small to ride the really cool looking Batman coaster at the park? I literally cannot remember.
Seeing me that young always feels like looking at another person entirely, it's so strange to think that I existed like that, once upon a time.
#medazzas personal log#I've pondered why my memories of that time in my life are so scattershot compared to my sisters#i dont think us being 17 months apart in age should account for the gaps because i honestly have a hard time accounting for much prior to#being like 11 years old and its in a not very normal childhood memory gap way#but then every once in a while i WILL remember something and it's always fairly traumatic#or at least it would be if my mind wasn't already divorcing present me from the feelings child me felt of them#its stupid how seeing a picture of myself at 6/7. a time my dad was already pretty far out of the picture#will always remind me of his emotional neglect and how that shaped like most of my childhood even if i didn't realize it until recently#along with his rare bouts of physical abuse#my sisters just lamenting on her childhood best friends ED and im just sat here remembering being beat by my own father for#fucking spilling nerds all over the kitchen floor when i was like 4 or 5 years old#jesus this got really dark if you read this far in my tags i apologize
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some artists draw 2/3 floating heads all the time but when i notice that the pose i'm drawing right now is kinda similar to the pose i was using in the art i drew 5 years ago I BECOME STRESSED like am i even capable of creating somethin original
#hope you get what i'm talking about#btw not judging the first kind of people bc i kinda want to be like them and don't give a shit about originality of my works#i literally check all my artworks twice before i start drawing something because i have a memory of a goldfish#and i fear that i've already drawn something but just forgot bout it and now drawing it again#i act like i have alzheimers#actually it's one of my fears bc seriously my memory is soooooo poor#alkenetalks
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srry for all the joanfk reblogs im tired n I was in the mood to look at these beautiful pieces they are so tasty and they are so wonderful and I love em
Im the only joanfker left n that’s ok <3
(Now if only I can actually post how I do my fav clone babies now)

#the memories are nice m#I do miss you all#it’s kinda sad that like I’m prob the only consistent joanfk fan left#I mean it’s not the end of the world but it does make me feel lonely#maybe there’s a bunch of sleepy joanfkers in their hermit shell#but I still do draw my babies they are very important to me#I don’t draw them out of spite#I just feel happy to pair them canon or not#they make me feel comfortable and happy and i want to continue to draw them and their relationship#I love you joanfk#to another 20 and then another and then anoth#I have updated designs n info bout em and I hope I can post bout it someday
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At which point did you realise that the plot of IW is ass? I've seen people complain only about the ending or the halfway point where the teams separate, while I was already actively rolling my eyes like four-five chapters in
i think the moment i fully accepted that IW's story was. Definitely A Story was the moment ebina announced 'bleach japan'. like i think leading up to that point i was thinking to myself 'oh i hope i see X happen' or being like 'i wonder where this is going' and that sort but the proverbial bucket of ice was definitely that moment
#infinite wealth spoilers#snap chats#what reaaaaally hammered it in too if it wasnt obvious already was the execution of the jimas/daigo like that still irks me LMAO#i cant even remember what chapter that happened in i just know when it did i was utterly pissed#i think i started to take things less seriously once bryce entered the picture but thats only because of how distracting his VA was#like much love the JP voice actors who try to speak english and japanese but i just cant act like it's not incredibly distracting#esp when the character is supposed to be white yk what i mean- or at the very least their first language is supposed to be english#typically i can look over that thing if its a one or two time kind of deal but he had to speak in english much longer than others#im just rambling about bryce tho this aint bout him. i mean he could be a part of it the cult was executed really sloppily#it might have been the introduction of bryce actually ... i remember thinking to myself 'oh brother' with the whole messiah thing LMAO#maybe it was when kiryu told us his cancer cam from radiation instead of. smoking 💀 ESPECIALLY not even five chapters in#like straight out the gate you just wanna drop that on us mr I Can Do Everything Myself I Cant Worry Others ok#thats a post for another day tho im EVERYWHERE#POINT IS this is not about Retrospect this is about First Impressions and memory warps over time#but i know for a fact i found the bleach japan thing utterly ridiculous and was squinting at the plot the entire time thereafter#like ive said this a million times at this point but although i love IW for it's gameplay (pardon some nitpicks like lack of shortcuts)#its story really feels so messy and had much to be desired. which is so sad after the wonderful stories rgg has been making since 0..#BUT OH WELL im still excited to replay it in english. god willing i ever get the time#i still wanna finish lost judgment <- isnt even halfway through the game#and i wanna do a fun stream Maybe with YK2 but ill get into that when i get into that#if youve read this far. thanks LOL id say sorry for the novel but thats what we expect of me at this point
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Shit I drew in philosophy class.
Also

Oiled up Ma Chao in a thong.
also drawn during philosophy class
#This is what happens when I have a note heavy class but I’m not allowed to use the one thing that is meant to help me with notes#Idk bout you but I am simply incapable of writing things down on paper while listening at the same time#On a keyboard however? That’s easier. Well possible in my case. My brain just be like that.#Anyway the first time I drew Cao Cao from memory and he looks like a Twink. Magnificent.
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something something the aesthetic use of body horror in bg3 and it’s central theme revolving around bodily autonomy and the complete and utter lack of it
#somethin’ bout the fleshy innards of moonrise towers#…….#tooth talks#bg3#like it’s about the flesh and blood and bones and…something….#you never have autonomy. volo is going to pluck out your eye. someone placed a bomb in your chest and you had no say in it#someone forced you to grow horns and gave you a forked tongue#someone created you to be consumed and then literally carved a deed of ownership into your skin#you belong to vlaakith or shar and your memories are ours to take and your own people will think you disgusting for what has been put inside#your head#there is now a tadpole in your brain and it allows others to peer into your mind and it will eventually consume you body and soul from the#inside out. it will melt your flesh off your bones and turn our insides to goo and it will literally obliterate You entirely#but it will keep your memories. it will keep the metaphysical shape of you.#but You are gone. you are consumed. you were destroyed in a horrific body horror fleshy pain ritual#and you never had a choice about what was going to happen#WHAT IF I LOST MY MIND#bg3 spoilers#im rambling cus im reading for class and understanding nothing the adhd is in full force nr#rn*#by aesthetic I mean like. environment designs n stuff#like the nautiloid etc being made of organic material and such#like mind flayers are alien creatures that literally obliterate your physical form but all their technology is made of flesh. of the very#thing they consume#their designs themselves are incredibly Organic (exposed brain)#god. godddd.#this fucking game.#haven’t felt this way abt a game since botw#goddddddd#I think I maybe used the word metaphysical wrong but. hum
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i still have a lot of thoughts about meteos
#let it be known: i love slapping wings and halos on things#in fact i have a few more things like this in the works#consistency? don't know her. post whatever whenever#hrngh... meteos#thinkin' 'bout the mission mode endings in wars#repeatedly throwing yourself at the thing that is killing literally everything#do we get a timeframe? need to check the Meteos Book i have horrible memory#did it take eons or no time at all? either way so many things fucking died.#like surely getting pummeled by meteos kills stuff even without total annihilation#wild but not unexpected from an existential threat#and this is happening to such Little Guys™! you gave them such fun designs i don't want them to die!!!!#it is literally just a match-3 game but damn!!! what high stakes for a match-3 game#anyways. photopea stroke effect my beloved makes things look so much better than just a blank black background#geolyte#digital art#meteos#id in alt text
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i tend to struggle with believing like neurodivergency about myself often when i dont feel like i struggle enough. but i always reference in my head these times where im doing quite well in between the hard stuff. and when im doing quite well its always when im left to my own devices to do what i want. when im doing bad im very overwhelmed by stuff that makes me stressed that i Have to do
and i know this is common but sometimes its hard to contextualize in your own life you know. you have your own nuance thats different from other peoples. your own experiences can be generally common but are also quite specific
#thinking bout things#im looking into perhaps i may be dealing with audhd which would make sense in the areas where#some things cancel eachother out and also#my very much in the present memory about what im feeling and experiencing#like i exist in the now and everything else feels like it never hapened or its not going to happen#and my trouble expressing myself at times because i cant get a clear train of thought to say things ?#i had an overwhelming morning and i think.#it fucked my communication up a bit as well >?#it feels like i dont have object permanence with what i want to talk aboutlike fuck#i just never rlly thought i had adhd because im not very like “fast” but that doesnt necessarily mean anything#you know. fuck#i need to look into stuff because this is kindof. Hm. hm. Hm. yeah#im sorry if im explainging this bad. like i said ive been fucked up from an overwhelming morning ☝️i know what i mean
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feeling very down! annoyed about it! i had a good day!! i am upset that my brain went on a 45 minute long spiral about how bad my last job went and also how bad All My Trauma Ever has been and also how my life is a mess! i am trying to get out of that pit but it's not going great! graaaaargh!!
#bad brains blogging#ghost speaks#can't i just. chill out#please for. like. one second#should i just try to sleep?? it's too early to sleep well tho#and i am shaking a lil bit with nervous energy#(rhetorical question don't answer)#grsasmxdkxmfkccnndmaARGH#self pity is a losing game but that doesn't stop me from playing!!#i want. for people to validate how bad it was. and for people to call me crazy and stupid and still be sad for me. no i do not want that on#i just. feel crazy and stupid and sorry for myself and it's not great i miss feeling cool and productive and helpful and funny and lovely#and no one can feel that way all the time but this. current bout of feelings. Sure Was More Memories Than I Wanted!!!#what would it be like to not have ptsd#i got--close to recovery/very few symptoms but also at that time i was getting set up for New Trauma 2.0#and then transitioned straight from barely processing 2.0 to just. uh. trauma 3.0 you did it to yourself version#feels!! real bad!!!!#okay either go watch tv or go to bed stop having a mental breakdown in the tags
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I do wish, given system things at the moment, that I could've met The Regulator. But I also suppose given how specific His role was it's best that never happened. He had a damn good music taste, holy shit
#pk;m Mind💙#I'm listening to Promoter of earthbound causes by clutch. which is on His playlist#and. 'Cooled down my tempor‚ I tried to remember / what it was I wasn't to lose'#'And I probably could‚ were it not for / the beer and the broads and the broads and the booze'#is SO funny given this guy. No Sir I Don't Think Those Lyrics Fit You At All Given Collective Memory About You LMAO#Seemed like the kinda guy to give more of a shit 'bout sound not lyrics though anyway. I just think that's funny though#Because what little we have on Him in our collective memory is that He was against drinking n shit lmfao
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Back on some bullshit maybe
#OK look.#I dunno#maybe Arceus was doing the pla protag a favor#maybe the kid came from a bad home and this is Arceus’ way of rescuing them#lack of memory was a mercy from it maybe#I guess this works better if you count Hisui and Sinnoh protags as different people#but guys I’m thinking.#maybe being sent to the past and not remembering anything beforehand was a good thing#go start over#anyway I was thinkin bout Pokemas Rei and Akari I wonder what their parents are like#staying in the tags because I have a violent disease that makes me afraid to share#but feel free to do whatever you want
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Gorl theyre calling butch sawashiro inapropro for mobile
#snap chats#if you see me drink a bottle of nigori no you didnt#just watched Villon no Tsuma and it was a swell movie..#i feel like tsutsumi spoke in a higher pitch but maybe i just havent heard him speak in nineyears#ngl i was gonna rewatch kyouhen or memory tonight but then i thought bout watchin My Brother’s Husband#esp since its only three eps but then i remembered i had this movie on my To Watch list#an Objective lie with how many times i replay Y7 but anyway#i have a doctors appoijtmemnt tomorrow i hope they dont see the blood alcohol levels twelve hours from now </3#ok bye im gonnaishsn
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Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
Reader who gets pregnant off of a one night stand with some soldier during armed forces day, showing your appreciation for his service a little too well.
You had a support system, friends who joked about you having way too much fun, hence your predicament, others already offering to buy things for the baby and your parents who couldn't be happier to meet their grandchild.
But what about the father?
Well, it's not exactly like you could track him down. Fuck, you didn't even know the man's name, only how he made you feel, his filthy words strumming in your ear, big hands tight around your waist, hips slamming away in a desperate chase.
Let's forget how you leg-locked him.
When your daughter was born, everything changed, and time slowed down. She was a quiet baby, barely crying or having any outbursts like a normal child would but outspoken in her own little way. That chunky thing came out of the womb with a glare. Brown eyes staring down anyone and everyone but you.
That's something she definitely got from her father. You vividly remember how his umber eyes watching you from across the bar. He was like an eagle waiting for the perfect moment to strike his prey. A perfect soldier.
So, you named your daughter Adira in memory of his strength. That's one thing he could have.
Adira loved to be by your side. Her chubby cheeks pressed into the nook of your neck, holding you close with strength of a thousand babies. Your clingy little thing was a koala, always by her mommy's side, never straying far no matter how curious she got. When she learned to walk, her favorite thing became to hug your leg, especially while in stores. She hated people, wearing a tiny scowl whenever customers passed by tucking herself closer to you.
Maybe it was a good thing her father wasn't around. Having to compete for her first words would've been a bloodbath.
You spent two years in bliss. The fact that you were a single mother an afterthought to raising what you considered a blessing.
With Adira's second Christmas coming up, you wanted to do something special. She loved trains and found them absolutely amusing, often mimicking the honk as she ran around your apartment. Thankfully, there was a train ride for kids around the park during this time of year.
Here, you stood in line, bundled up to the nines. Big poofy coat, warm gloves, and fuzzy boots. As the crowd moved, Adira clung close, arms wrapped around your leg, glowering at any passerby with an annoyed look on her rosy cheeks.
That one was new. Maybe something else she got from her father.
The two of you took steps in tow, keeping Adira close and comfortable as the train came into view. Her expression shifted, excitement palpable. "Twain!" She squealed, jumping up and down.
Before you could respond to Adira's childlike joy, a man bumped into you by accident, nearly stumbling over his own feet. He turns to look at you, blue eyes meeting yours, but you were too focused on the weird ass Mohawk on his head.
People wore still those?
"Sorry bout that lass." The man starts to apologize, a Scottish accent lacing his voice.
That breaks your stare, laughing awkwardly to mask your wandering gaze. "Oh no, it's fine. You should be careful. you might slip on ice."
He nods, giving you a kind smile. The Scottish man starts to leave, but the look your kid was giving him sent shivers down his spine.
Little Adira was giving him a fierce stare down from behind your leg before ultimately cutting her eyes at him as if he were merely a nuisance.
"Next in line! Mctavish!"
The man doesn't stay after that. You assume that it was him they were calling with the way he hurried off. Hope he doesn't fall, seemed like a nice guy.
Soap can't help but do a double take when be gets to the front. The little rascal was wearing his Lieutenants face, hawk eyeing anyone who dared got to close. It was like looking in a mirror.
He nudged Gaz, making a gesture to look back without making it obvious. "See the lass and her bairn in line?"
Gaz gives him a raised brow, looking back for a second before turning around. "There's a lot of kids with their mother's, Johnny."
Soap glances back, double checking to make sure you were still in line. “The lass with the wee one—she’s got the same wicked look as Lt. You cannae miss her.”
Gaz rolls his eyes but humors Soap by looking once more, his eyes scanning the crowd until they land on a little girl already mean-mugging him from a distance. He swiftly turns around, blinking in surprise, trying to comprehend what he saw. "Uh..."
Soap only nods in agreement. That was Ghost's face, on a kid no less. He wastes no time, elbowing Roach and getting him to look back as well, leaving the other Sergeant in the same shock as Gaz. "That is not a face a kid should have."
"Agreed." Gaz added, shuddering at the thought.
"Where's the cap?" Soap asks, the train ride no longer feeling like fun now that he’s discovered the jackpot.
"Market place with Lt. for cigs," Gaz knowingly remarked, remembering that Price had run out on their way here.
"Well, let's go show them a Christmas miracle," Soap shot up from his seat all too eagerly.
The sergeants just got their Christmas present.
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#sunshine-sunni
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