#you have a memory bout it!!!
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WHY DID YOU STOP THERE IT WAS GETTING GOOD TOO DAMN CLIFFHANGERS BRO
#aria rants#ariaplays: aitsf#momentarily forgot about the murders#am weak towards those typa love stories okay#LIKE!!! LIKE! THAT WAS SO SWEET#HE WAS WILLING TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER FOR HERRRRR#SHE GAVE HIM LIFE AGAIN LIKE MAAAAANNNN#FUCK ROHAN IM SO GLAD HES DEAD#date i feel like you have the other half of the story#you have a memory bout it!!!#were you the friend then?
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too many of you guys think nico is the loser and not lewis for letting the divorce go on for so long. like they're both losers about each other. emotionally constipated idiots who can't talk about their toxic homoerotic friendship that imploded on itself like 8 years ago and are now making it everyone else's problem. yeah nico's on television or in beer gardens talking about lewis all the time but like every other month some reporter is like "lewis, what's your favorite moment in your career?" and lewis no hesitation is like "oh man, karting, y'know? everything was simpler then" and then spends another six months skirting around nico's name. like this whole thing they're doing in the media isn't some kinda extended foreplay for them. they're both still pressing on the bruise to make sure it's still there!!! every few months, they're literally just asking on public television, does it still hurt for you like it does for me? and like clockwork, someone will release new information about them or one of them will say something about each other (in my heart, he's still my best friend/yes... and teammate) and the answer will remain the same, yes, of course, always.
#lewis is unarguably more famous than nico. like i feel like this a fact. and yet every other day nico is in the press saying some crazy shit#about lewis. if i was famous i woulda shut that shit down soo long ago. my ex-bf is in the press talkin bout me constantly??? that feels#like such bad pr and yet!!! lewis has not done anything. why? cause he likes it!!! cause they've never moved on from the 1st moment they#broke each other's hearts. like this is genuinely insane.#im always so nervous to post my thoughts on brocedes cause so many of you were here b4 me and have a better understanding on them#and like being a wrong is like a death sentence to me but still please tell me if i got them completely wrong#i have a lot of thoughts on lewis and his reluctance to talk about nico... most of them being that one quote from emma#if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more#ok obligatory disclaimer: a lot of this is hyperbole. i don't think that they're asking lewis that ? every other month#but there are like at least 5 interviews where he talks about karting like they're his most precious memories#so make of that what you will#and obv i don't know these people but as someone who's brain chemistry has been permanently changed by them#i think i'm allowed to not only project onto them but also make stupid little posts analyzing them#anyway yeah#f1#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#brocedes
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srry for all the joanfk reblogs im tired n I was in the mood to look at these beautiful pieces they are so tasty and they are so wonderful and I love em
Im the only joanfker left n that’s ok <3
(Now if only I can actually post how I do my fav clone babies now)
#the memories are nice m#I do miss you all#it’s kinda sad that like I’m prob the only consistent joanfk fan left#I mean it’s not the end of the world but it does make me feel lonely#maybe there’s a bunch of sleepy joanfkers in their hermit shell#but I still do draw my babies they are very important to me#I don’t draw them out of spite#I just feel happy to pair them canon or not#they make me feel comfortable and happy and i want to continue to draw them and their relationship#I love you joanfk#to another 20 and then another and then anoth#I have updated designs n info bout em and I hope I can post bout it someday
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At which point did you realise that the plot of IW is ass? I've seen people complain only about the ending or the halfway point where the teams separate, while I was already actively rolling my eyes like four-five chapters in
i think the moment i fully accepted that IW's story was. Definitely A Story was the moment ebina announced 'bleach japan'. like i think leading up to that point i was thinking to myself 'oh i hope i see X happen' or being like 'i wonder where this is going' and that sort but the proverbial bucket of ice was definitely that moment
#infinite wealth spoilers#snap chats#what reaaaaally hammered it in too if it wasnt obvious already was the execution of the jimas/daigo like that still irks me LMAO#i cant even remember what chapter that happened in i just know when it did i was utterly pissed#i think i started to take things less seriously once bryce entered the picture but thats only because of how distracting his VA was#like much love the JP voice actors who try to speak english and japanese but i just cant act like it's not incredibly distracting#esp when the character is supposed to be white yk what i mean- or at the very least their first language is supposed to be english#typically i can look over that thing if its a one or two time kind of deal but he had to speak in english much longer than others#im just rambling about bryce tho this aint bout him. i mean he could be a part of it the cult was executed really sloppily#it might have been the introduction of bryce actually ... i remember thinking to myself 'oh brother' with the whole messiah thing LMAO#maybe it was when kiryu told us his cancer cam from radiation instead of. smoking 💀 ESPECIALLY not even five chapters in#like straight out the gate you just wanna drop that on us mr I Can Do Everything Myself I Cant Worry Others ok#thats a post for another day tho im EVERYWHERE#POINT IS this is not about Retrospect this is about First Impressions and memory warps over time#but i know for a fact i found the bleach japan thing utterly ridiculous and was squinting at the plot the entire time thereafter#like ive said this a million times at this point but although i love IW for it's gameplay (pardon some nitpicks like lack of shortcuts)#its story really feels so messy and had much to be desired. which is so sad after the wonderful stories rgg has been making since 0..#BUT OH WELL im still excited to replay it in english. god willing i ever get the time#i still wanna finish lost judgment <- isnt even halfway through the game#and i wanna do a fun stream Maybe with YK2 but ill get into that when i get into that#if youve read this far. thanks LOL id say sorry for the novel but thats what we expect of me at this point
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Shit I drew in philosophy class.
Also
Oiled up Ma Chao in a thong.
also drawn during philosophy class
#This is what happens when I have a note heavy class but I’m not allowed to use the one thing that is meant to help me with notes#Idk bout you but I am simply incapable of writing things down on paper while listening at the same time#On a keyboard however? That’s easier. Well possible in my case. My brain just be like that.#Anyway the first time I drew Cao Cao from memory and he looks like a Twink. Magnificent.
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something something the aesthetic use of body horror in bg3 and it’s central theme revolving around bodily autonomy and the complete and utter lack of it
#somethin’ bout the fleshy innards of moonrise towers#…….#tooth talks#bg3#like it’s about the flesh and blood and bones and…something….#you never have autonomy. volo is going to pluck out your eye. someone placed a bomb in your chest and you had no say in it#someone forced you to grow horns and gave you a forked tongue#someone created you to be consumed and then literally carved a deed of ownership into your skin#you belong to vlaakith or shar and your memories are ours to take and your own people will think you disgusting for what has been put inside#your head#there is now a tadpole in your brain and it allows others to peer into your mind and it will eventually consume you body and soul from the#inside out. it will melt your flesh off your bones and turn our insides to goo and it will literally obliterate You entirely#but it will keep your memories. it will keep the metaphysical shape of you.#but You are gone. you are consumed. you were destroyed in a horrific body horror fleshy pain ritual#and you never had a choice about what was going to happen#WHAT IF I LOST MY MIND#bg3 spoilers#im rambling cus im reading for class and understanding nothing the adhd is in full force nr#rn*#by aesthetic I mean like. environment designs n stuff#like the nautiloid etc being made of organic material and such#like mind flayers are alien creatures that literally obliterate your physical form but all their technology is made of flesh. of the very#thing they consume#their designs themselves are incredibly Organic (exposed brain)#god. godddd.#this fucking game.#haven’t felt this way abt a game since botw#goddddddd#I think I maybe used the word metaphysical wrong but. hum
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i still have a lot of thoughts about meteos
#let it be known: i love slapping wings and halos on things#in fact i have a few more things like this in the works#consistency? don't know her. post whatever whenever#hrngh... meteos#thinkin' 'bout the mission mode endings in wars#repeatedly throwing yourself at the thing that is killing literally everything#do we get a timeframe? need to check the Meteos Book i have horrible memory#did it take eons or no time at all? either way so many things fucking died.#like surely getting pummeled by meteos kills stuff even without total annihilation#wild but not unexpected from an existential threat#and this is happening to such Little Guys™! you gave them such fun designs i don't want them to die!!!!#it is literally just a match-3 game but damn!!! what high stakes for a match-3 game#anyways. photopea stroke effect my beloved makes things look so much better than just a blank black background#geolyte#digital art#meteos#id in alt text
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i tend to struggle with believing like neurodivergency about myself often when i dont feel like i struggle enough. but i always reference in my head these times where im doing quite well in between the hard stuff. and when im doing quite well its always when im left to my own devices to do what i want. when im doing bad im very overwhelmed by stuff that makes me stressed that i Have to do
and i know this is common but sometimes its hard to contextualize in your own life you know. you have your own nuance thats different from other peoples. your own experiences can be generally common but are also quite specific
#thinking bout things#im looking into perhaps i may be dealing with audhd which would make sense in the areas where#some things cancel eachother out and also#my very much in the present memory about what im feeling and experiencing#like i exist in the now and everything else feels like it never hapened or its not going to happen#and my trouble expressing myself at times because i cant get a clear train of thought to say things ?#i had an overwhelming morning and i think.#it fucked my communication up a bit as well >?#it feels like i dont have object permanence with what i want to talk aboutlike fuck#i just never rlly thought i had adhd because im not very like “fast” but that doesnt necessarily mean anything#you know. fuck#i need to look into stuff because this is kindof. Hm. hm. Hm. yeah#im sorry if im explainging this bad. like i said ive been fucked up from an overwhelming morning ☝️i know what i mean
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feeling very down! annoyed about it! i had a good day!! i am upset that my brain went on a 45 minute long spiral about how bad my last job went and also how bad All My Trauma Ever has been and also how my life is a mess! i am trying to get out of that pit but it's not going great! graaaaargh!!
#bad brains blogging#ghost speaks#can't i just. chill out#please for. like. one second#should i just try to sleep?? it's too early to sleep well tho#and i am shaking a lil bit with nervous energy#(rhetorical question don't answer)#grsasmxdkxmfkccnndmaARGH#self pity is a losing game but that doesn't stop me from playing!!#i want. for people to validate how bad it was. and for people to call me crazy and stupid and still be sad for me. no i do not want that on#i just. feel crazy and stupid and sorry for myself and it's not great i miss feeling cool and productive and helpful and funny and lovely#and no one can feel that way all the time but this. current bout of feelings. Sure Was More Memories Than I Wanted!!!#what would it be like to not have ptsd#i got--close to recovery/very few symptoms but also at that time i was getting set up for New Trauma 2.0#and then transitioned straight from barely processing 2.0 to just. uh. trauma 3.0 you did it to yourself version#feels!! real bad!!!!#okay either go watch tv or go to bed stop having a mental breakdown in the tags
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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Back on some bullshit maybe
#OK look.#I dunno#maybe Arceus was doing the pla protag a favor#maybe the kid came from a bad home and this is Arceus’ way of rescuing them#lack of memory was a mercy from it maybe#I guess this works better if you count Hisui and Sinnoh protags as different people#but guys I’m thinking.#maybe being sent to the past and not remembering anything beforehand was a good thing#go start over#anyway I was thinkin bout Pokemas Rei and Akari I wonder what their parents are like#staying in the tags because I have a violent disease that makes me afraid to share#but feel free to do whatever you want
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I realize this is a bit of a longshot but did you ever make any deh acrylic charms?? I desperately wanna buy one from ya if im able
dude i am very sorry to say but you are like six years late for that fjdhHFJSJDJ thats very kind though, but yeah im not restocking those :’) thank you tho, sorry!!
#edit: if u wanna make yourself a keychain for purely personal and non financial reasons dude ill send you a file#it was my first time making merch and it went terribly#for me at least#horrible experience very bad money managing on my part lowkey got backstabbed by someone i considered a friend#ended up paying outta pocket for the shipping and tbh also maybe half of the production costs fjfksjf Bad i tell you!!!#and the mental anguish of the designing process idk why dude i think this was one of the most stressful experiences of my life#learned a lot tho!#traumatized me out of doing merch for five good years but learned a lot!!!!#thankfully it was on a smaller scale than the 5sos charms lmfao#but yeah anyway im very sorry i appreciate it but i have a little too many bad memories about the whole deh experience and fandom and. well#everything about that time to even think about ever restocking 🧍#anon#ask#sorry bout the whole oversharing just on ur ask btw gjdjHDJSJS u did nothin wrong im rlly flattered!!! it just unlocked a memory fjdjHDJAHDH
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Hello new symptom of chronic stress. Welcome to the fray.
#crying like crying every day unexpectedly for no reason#just strange fits of sudden weeping and just as suddenly it stops#lemme tell you the first five-seven years were just meh like typical anxiety#the fun starts after 10+ years baby when it starts compounding on existing problems#memory? you might have had a grasp of lived experiences before but no longer#just a blur of days years and forgotten names what did I even do last week#rapid weight gain fun times and bouts of near paralysis#burnout try burn it all down#run run run run run run run black smoke and flames and the cops and paramedics#is this life this is some kind of life#I’m so done with it#chronic stress#school stress#back to school
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Okay one veeery small hater moment from me but it isn't really much of a hater moment but more of a disappointment irritation moment for a manwha genre that I've been chillin deep into it's rabbit hole, aka Otome Isekai (shortened to oi) is when I found this manwha that I already forgot the title of out of pure irritation that I somehow just blacked it out. The premise was basically like: I got trapped in a dating sim I played in my past life for 3 years when my first playthrough turned out a fail and I got sent back to the past to retry until I get a good ending for the character I possessed that's a side character of the game. And I'm so tired of failing, I don't need love to get my happy ending!
Like-- from the description alone it was pretty generic. And I, being the veteran that I am with generic oi manwha, already Knew what I'm about to get once I go in there, but I was like: "Maaaybe it'll turn out okay, I should check the comments." And there was a TON of comments with 4-5 star ratings, all of em praising the writing and everything and sayin that "it's far better than what the description says," so I was like: Oh okay that's good then! Time to check!
So I read through chapter 1, what the fuck is going on. The description made the story seem more interesting ngl, like I thought the fl has been going at it for 3 years with how it was worded, like she's just been met with several failures cuz of how the actual description made it seem how tired she's been but no. The story starts with her SECOND PLAYTHROUGH. So I'm like: "??? Maybe this is just the prologue" so I kept going until chapter 2.
What The Fuck Is Going On. The description also made it seem that she won't be going after any of the guys btw but by the end of chapter 1 and the start of chapter 2, she's already thinking of going after ANOTHER guy to achieve her happy ending and I'm like: "HUUUH???" cuz apparently the first guy she wanted to get together with in her first playthrough was your average "irredeemable trash" in an oi so like OKAY??? WHY WAS THE DESCRIPTION WORDED LIKE THAT.
And I remember keeping going until like-- chapter 3? chapter 4? or whatever, cuz the comments kept saying that "oh this story is soo good it's such a breath of fresh air from the other ois" And I got so blindsided by that one scene in a chapter titled "Ten Days" (hey aria how come you can remember that but not the manwha title or chapter number? cuz wait for it--) THE FL HAS BEEN UNCONSCIOUS FOR TEN DAYS!!! AND SHE JUST WALKED OUTTA BED LIKE NOTHIN!!! TEN DAYS!?!!? orz... that chapter bewildered me so much it's like it wiped the entire memory I've had of that manwha from before I read through it cuz wHAT THE FUCK???
Her family (which was the typical "neglectful family but is redeemable after getting a wake up call when the fl started ignoring em so now they're trying to make amends") was sittin by her bedside along with the typical "maid that's always on the fl's side no matter what and she's bubbly" and they were all distraught, the maid crying and everything and when the fl just stood outta bed with no consequences to the fact that she's just been laying there FOR TEN! DAYS! and everyone not even batting an eye at the fact that she's already up and at em when she's been unconscious FOR TEN DAYS!-- I'm never letting that go-- I was like: Holy stars this story is... people are blind-- And clicked outta that thing so fast it just got yeeted from my memory until I remember bout the ten days again.
#aria rants#this thing is such a specific type of irritation honestly like its just for me cuz im Like This jksfgvdsjjfvghjhb#i wouldnt even have been that irritated by that story btw if not for the fact that when i read that. it was the day before yesterday#aka the same day i was Suffering from heartburn and immense sleepiness so i needed some distraction and found that story#and i was like: well if everyone said its good then ig so cuz aint no way all these ppl are so bad at finding good stories RIGHT???#i was wrong. orz... ngl tho that story aint even That bad btw it was average at best and could be an enjoyable read if you#turn your brain off cuz oh boy... that ten days thing... its the only thing that didnt got yeeted from my memory it was such a confusing#moment it had permanently seared itself into my braincells like wtf is happening WHY IS SHE OKAY AFTER SLEEPIN FOR 10 DAYS?!!?!!?!!?#IT WASNT EVEN ADDRESSED AT ALL! the narrative didnt address it. the fl didnt address it much. NO ONE ADDRESSED IT--#all the fl thought bout at the moment ''oh this might be a consequence of going back in time. oh well :)'' and im like: GURL!?!?!?!!?!#the absolute nonchalant reaction to it baffled me so badly i just couldnt forget this thing at all like WHY#btw im an expert in oi manwha. ive seen so many horrible stories cuz oi as a genre is as diluted as any other isekai genres#so in order to find gold youre gonna have to look through SO MUCH STONE (aka the same of practically everything)#so i go into oi manwha stories not expecting much until smth bout the story latches itself into my brain for me to Like It#so ive seen my fair share of horrible storylines but this is the first ive seen where the fl gets outta bed like nothin after TEN DAYS!!!#anyway so yea this is my one irritation disappointment moment of the month all cuz im sleepy and got reminded of it again like oh stars...
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Gorl theyre calling butch sawashiro inapropro for mobile
#snap chats#if you see me drink a bottle of nigori no you didnt#just watched Villon no Tsuma and it was a swell movie..#i feel like tsutsumi spoke in a higher pitch but maybe i just havent heard him speak in nineyears#ngl i was gonna rewatch kyouhen or memory tonight but then i thought bout watchin My Brother’s Husband#esp since its only three eps but then i remembered i had this movie on my To Watch list#an Objective lie with how many times i replay Y7 but anyway#i have a doctors appoijtmemnt tomorrow i hope they dont see the blood alcohol levels twelve hours from now </3#ok bye im gonnaishsn
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#writing#poetry#The Village#2022#February 2022#february 27 2022#this is about the ski resort i grew up going to (to snowboard!! NOT to ski!! I am many things but i am NOT a skier!!!)#its also where my school went for ski club and was my first taste of freedom#like you have (as mentioned in the poem) 140 acres and 50 trails to just go any where in (not entirely true since ski club is at night#and some trails are closed at night. Including an entire lift and area of the resort) and youre pretty much completely unsupervised#Like there are parent volunteers and ski patrol but theres only so many and they’re spread out and are mainly just there in case you need-#help. Like if they see you break a resort rule you’ll probably get in trouble but theyre not like policing you and again are pretty sparse#So you get to do all this shit without getting in trouble#so many good memories of finding weird ways to get down a hill breaking rules and screaming from the lifts#the penis game isnt even a challenge here……#and then the whole experience is mixed with the adrenaline of snowboarding. And its night so naturally i get waaaay impulsive than usually#(partly cause my meds wore off)#fun fact: the first time i came out was at ski club on a lift with my then best friend#i could talk forever about this place but how bout i slap some tags for visibility on here instead so we can all get on with our lives#winter#snow#snowboarding#sking#ski#snowboard#Oh one more thing! The line ‘fantasy tavern in my mind’ is cause the chalet feels like a tavern from a fantasy story. Its fucking awesome!!
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