#you hate the fucking lot
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everykissbeginswithgay · 1 month ago
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Messy by Lola Young
That is all.
That’s the post.
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cozylittleartblog · 1 year ago
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@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you
edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally
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bbbbbbbbatman · 6 months ago
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Gotham has so many rogues and most of them don’t actually cause that much trouble in the grand scheme of things, so other than the really big ones, like joker, news about Gotham rogues can get pretty muddled outside the city which leads the JL to believing that Batman and Manbat are the same person and that their colleague sometimes turns into a giant bat monster but they don’t bring it up bc they think it’s a sensitive topic
Which eventually leads to a scenario like this mid combat when they’re getting pretty desperate:
Green Lantern: I know we’re not supposed to talk about it or whatever, but it would be really helpful if you could turn into a giant bat right now, spooky
Batman, having zero context for this comment, pausing mid fight to look at Hal like he just grew a second head: What the fuck are you talking about, Jordan?
Green Lantern, suddenly much less confident: Um…you know how you…turn into a giant bat?
Batman, utterly bewildered, turning to the other members but finding that he is clearly the only one out of the loop: what is happening right now
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lucabyte · 5 months ago
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sometimes everything just sucks real real real bad
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mossy-paws · 4 months ago
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these fuckass robots that I hate /aff (Ultrakill x PHIGHTING!)
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the girls are PHIGHTING! again
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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rouge-the-bat · 1 year ago
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person not involved in The Discourse: wow both sides on this need to touch grass lol theyre both wackos
side A on The Discourse: i would like to exist in peace
side B on The Discourse: everyone on side A should kill themselves
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emilyjunk · 3 months ago
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"Kevin isn't that bad it's not like he beats her, why does she need to kill him or fake her death, just get divorced" you are the point of the show, you are missing the crucial reveal. Allison sees Kevin in every single scene as she does their last scene together, but we as the audience aren't privy to that and we only see sitcom Kevin which is Kevin's self perception. He is not suddenly becoming scary and threatening to her. He was like that the whole time. We only see Allison's feelings about Kevin and the aftermath of her interactions with Kevin -- this is the ONLY time we see Kevin from her POV except for the brief initial breaking of the sitcom cam. Every other time we see Kevin on screen it's from Kevin's POV. Even after she cuts her hand we only see the bandage in her singular pov when she is away from kevin, but when it shifts back to sitcom Kevin it's gone.... We do not see the reality of her interactions with Kevin, that's the point of the show!!! Because when Kevin is on screen, it's Kevin's world! We only see Kevin from anyone else's lens in ONE scene at the end, which is when Allison decides to leave, so yes the sitcom cam "softens his abuse" but it also just fully acts as an unreliable narration because we never literally see Kevin from anyone else's POV until the series finale so every time Kevin is on screen it isn't even an accurate portrayal of what's happening, it's Kevin's perception of what's happening. Allison has viewed him like that the entire show, we as the audience just did not get to witness that POV until the end
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reginalusus · 6 months ago
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Ah yes. When the protective dad-figure beats up the son-figure's past tormentor only for said tormentor to make a point(?), because the tormentor is the catalyst of Gotham's chaos, and seeing two pieces of the debris from said chaos come together to try and be less broken is amusing. The butt of Gotham's joke, if you will.
I just felt like illustrating a scene from a possible future Harvey-Jason-centered fic...
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dykedvonte · 26 days ago
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Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.
We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.
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Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.
He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?
I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?
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atlaswav · 4 months ago
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CATACLYSMIC ☾
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INFO: 5252 words..... dr ratio x fem! reader SYNOPSIS: You hate him, of that you're certain. You hate the man behind the alabaster figurehead, and you want to see him unravelled, but you don't know exactly what you do to him. WARNINGS: um alcohol and one kiss. also some swearing but mostly fine AUTHOR'S NOTE: rising from the grave to bring to you this thing i found this in my drafts from who knows how long when I was obsessed with this man (still am). someone help. i can no longer write this much for one fic. what was i on.
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Veritas Ratio made it no secret that he despised those who lived in ignorance. He openly shunned those who were stupid enough to turn their eyes from knowledge – they’d be beggars in due time. They didn’t know how the world was governed, and ignorant fools would play victim to fate’s cruel touch.
With this philosophy of his, you often wondered whether or not his ivory figurehead would soon burst with the tumultuous storm of the man’s self importance. You wondered what would lie underneath. Surely, the divine makers would’ve allowed balance in his creation – surely, his face was horribly disfigured in exchange for such otherworldly intelligence. 
He was both delightfully astute and horrendously ill mannered at once. Brighter than your entire class combined – your entire university combined, no doubt – but his pretentiousness was overflowing, and you believed he was in dire need of being put in his place.
Arrogant and pretentious were two of the words that came to mind when someone mentioned Dr. Ratio, and you were sure you weren’t the only one who refused to worship his word like the gospel. In turn, he seemed to despise your very existence, as if you were merely a faded annotation in the footnotes of an ancient epic. Vandalising a work of art. A moustache on the Mona Lisa. Circe in the Odyssey, if she’d welcomed sailors with open arms, allowing them to degrade her as they would a common concubine, not a descendant of the gods.
Yet instead of sharing the witch’s beguiling, seductive nature, you only shared her mortal voice. Thin, reedy, quiet, compared to the booming voices of gods. The voice of Veritas Ratio. Your achievements could only pale in comparison to his, and it took everything within you to clap politely as he received his third – fourth? (you weren’t intent on keeping track) – diploma.
God you hated that man. You’d muttered as much under your breath countless times.
“Dr. Ratio is fine. No need to worship me.” he’d once corrected. But the attempt at humour was lost on you as your classmates began to laugh. The divine makers likely brought him into existence just to spite you. Oftentimes, you fought your urges to hurl the nearest textbook at his caricature head and watch the plaster crack, fall to the floor, and reveal his disfigured face. 
Not that you’d seen it before – lingered around him enough to see it disappear.
His scorn held no favourites, and certainly not when it came to you. He’d openly dragged your work through the dirt a couple of times before, and it was only a matter of time before he did it again. His words were scalding, leaving burns across your thin skin and leaving your mouth tasting of ash. Your voice, faint and human, fell quiet at his ‘gospel’. 
If it weren’t obvious, the hatred was mutual. He’d never admit it outright – he was far beyond these meaningless, trivial things such as immature hatred – but you felt his scathing glare in your soul, even through that perturbing headpiece, and that was enough. 
“Have you found it?” 
You turn around, meeting the cold, blank, unseeing gaze of his caricature head behind you. It was disconcerting to say the very least, but no one else had asked him about it, so you never pushed him further. None wanted to invoke his wrath, no matter what circumstance. It was a miracle neither of you had exploded at each other yet, but you suspected that he’d gladly put aside any type of loathing he harboured for you so that this project would get done faster. 
You were happy to oblige as he took the lead. A free credit was a free credit. But you did have your limits.
“Nope. The text is ancient. I doubt this library has it.”
“Nonsense.” he clicked his tongue, glancing to the side. “I’m asking the professor. Go work on your part.”
Patience is a virtue, as you keep reminding yourself. 
“Sure. Let me know if you find anything.” you say instead of the retort that sits on your tongue. False niceties and biting, underhanded remarks. This charade was entertaining, at the very least.
How did everyone love him? There had to be people like you who shared your dislike towards that conceited scholar. With a long suffering groan, you took a seat at one of the plethora of tables in the university’s library, clicked your pen and began to write. 
Maybe the reason he despised you so was because of your ideas, arguably the opposite of his own way of thinking. Where his twisted logic, rearranged rationality and pulled apart natural reasoning to formulate new material, you cut and stitched the work of others together to create your own emulations. (Frankenstein's monster. Was that a cliche? For Ratio, it probably was.)
He’d likely scrap what you’d written as soon as he returned, but that didn’t stop you from trying to spite him anyway. You hoped your readings wouldn’t go to waste as you recorded your findings, then started to draft an outline for your project. 
The scratch of paper became white nose, your hand struggling to keep up with the pace of your mind – was it even worth it? He’d likely call it worthless, snatch it from you and throw it into the recycling bin, then start writing his own outline. It only angered you further as you frowned at the page, wondering how he’d approach the project. 
The thump of a heavy tome on the wooden desk snapped you out of your sombre thoughts. 
“Here.” Ratio took a seat at the chair opposite of yours, brushing the dust off the thick text, leafing through its yellowed pages. “I told you they’d have it. You just need to search better.”
You offer him a tight smile. “Noted.” More false niceties, more flat remarks.
Then the figurehead disappears in a blink, and you nearly drop your pen. He barely pays you any mind as he runs a hand through his hair, flipping through the text. You’d heard the rumours of the handsome face beneath the statue, but you’d never have imagined him to be so disgustingly perfect. 
Statuesque. 
His deep violet locks looked unbelievably soft. His crimson eyes showed laser focus as he scanned the text in front of him, ignoring you completely as he noted something down. After a brief silence where you skim over your outline and he presumably attempts to decipher the undeniably unreadable and ancient text which you were opposed to reading in the first place, he turns to you with a sigh. “What did you do while I was gone?”
“I wrote an outline.” you hand the papers to him begrudgingly, fidgeting with the pen in your hand. You don’t meet his gaze, afraid that his calculating gaze might see too far into your soul. 
“This?” his distaste seeps through his tone. You don’t need to look at his face to know that he’s frowning. 
You say nothing as he skims through your work, twirling your pen between your fingers.
“...It’s not the worst thing I've ever read.”
Your eyebrows shoot up. 
“It’s not good, either.”
You scowl at him. 
“I can salvage it.” he nonchalantly throws it back onto the table, returning to the text at hand. 
You want to shove his grotesquely perfect face into the book. He really was put on this earth to spite you.
“Don’t just sit there. Go look for texts on criticism of our stance.”
You don’t know how you’re going to find the patience to survive this project. If anything, it irked you further to find that there wasn’t some monstrosity hidden behind that figurehead. In everything he did, he seemed to be inventing new ways to get on your nerves. However, unbeknownst to you, Veritas Ratio held you higher than you gave yourself credit for. He believed your ideas to be invigorating. Refreshing, almost. A welcome reprieve from the same reiterated, chewed, swallowed and regurgitated approaches that your other classmates had. 
You weren’t like the rest of the mindless, studying machines at the university. You could be brilliant, and it annoyed him that you didn’t know this. He’d admitted as much to himself before, but he’d never tell you. But it was still not good enough for his standards – far better than what the imbeciles in your class could’ve come up with – but still far behind him. Or so he kept telling himself. 
Days passed by without a word from either of you. You were content to write your part in the solitude of your dorm, and he seemed perfectly content mulling over whatever he’d found in that indecipherable ancient text. By the time you’d nearly finished your part, he decided to meet with you once again to share your findings. 
His definition of deciding to meet with you meant simply cornering you after class and asking you to follow him. 
You started to protest, but he’d already turned and briskly walked out of the classroom, so you groaned and followed after him, winding up in the library again. This time, in a secluded corner with the late afternoon sun pouring through the window, illuminating the small table and workspace with a warm glow. 
You wondered how he wasn’t winded after trekking across the entire campus. You certainly were. His muscled build suggested that a mere leisurely walk couldn’t possibly have tired him out. What did he eat? Was he what Nietzsche had in mind when he wrote of the Superman? 
“What are you doing? Sit.” he gestures to the seat across from him, and you sink into the armchair, taking out your papers. His headpiece disappears once again, and your breath catches in your throat. 
His hair cast a faint shadow across his face, and his eyes seemed to glow. As you leaned in closer, you realised there was a thin ring of gold around his pupils. 
“Are you done with your part?” he demands, breaking you out of your trance. 
You silently hand over your drafts, watching his eyes flit across your paper. His eyebrows furrow slightly, eyes narrowing, but he remains quiet. Were his eyelashes always this long? They created an indistinct shadow on his cheeks. His skin was pale, fair. Not the sickly kind of pale you thought he’d be. Did he exercise? You wouldn’t be surprised, with all your classmates always fawning over his broad, strong chest and narrower waist. 
Was it your imagination, or were his cheeks slightly flushed? It might have been the light. 
“It’s deplorable.”
Your heart sinks in your chest as you sit back against the armchair. 
“Your ideas are rudimentary. Have you been reading at all?” he sighs, holding his head in his hand. “No matter. I can fix it. I don’t need you to do anything anymore. You can go.”
You stay seated in shock, unable to move. You’ve heard the anecdotes of people crying over being scolded by him, but was he always this harsh? 
“You know it’s a group project, right?” you begin before your better judgement can decide against it, “My work is just as important as yours, it doesn’t matter if you think my work is ‘deplorable’. I’m in the same class, I take the same course, I learn the same things as you do, you don’t get to look down on me no matter how stupidly smart you are.”
He raises an eyebrow, unamused. “Why not?”
“Take that stick out of your ass, Veritas Ratio. Get off your high horse.” you snatch your papers out of his hands and take your leave, ignoring his calls of your name. 
Were you dramatic? Yes, but not without reason. Given Ratio’s reputation for prioritising academics over everything else, you suspected that it wouldn’t take long for him to find you, either. 
You were so wrong. 
More days passed with no contact. He didn’t seem to be affected by your dramatics, and never once batted an eye in your direction unless necessary. It seemed your hypothesis of him inventing new ways to get on your nerves was on the track of being proved correct. But if you didn’t do something within the next few days, you trusted him to turn in the project without your name on the paper, resulting in a zero. 
He was just as stubborn as you, and though you were nothing compared to him in actuality, you were so close to grabbing his face and forcing him to look at you for who you were.
Seemingly, even in the battle of wits, he seemed to emerge victorious. 
“Ratio.” 
He barely glances up, engrossed in his writing. “What?”
“Are you done with the project?” Biting the bullet stings your teeth and left a bitter taste on your tongue. 
“No. Not yet. Why? You’re finally going to help?”
“Are you going to stop looking down at me?” 
The library is nearly empty. The sun is barely a sliver on the horizon, and the voices of students float down the corridor beyond the grand stacks of books, yet you’re here. Why do you bother? Are you really that desperate for his validation?
“Are you going to keep writing such reprehensible work?”
You glare at him. “Guess not.” you turn on your heel.
“You’re absolutely infuriating.” he sighs, leaning back in the armchair. “You’re not aware of what you can do, are you?”
You glare at him. Your chest stings. 
He looks at you, then. Truly. His complexion relaxes, and he rubs his temples. “Sit. Let’s go through your part.”
“Why?”
“I mulled it over. Your part is brilliant.”
Your eyes widen.
“But your expression and research is appalling. Have you learned how to write academically at all?”
You’d never simultaneously wanted to slap and kiss a man at once until today. “What happened to getting off your high horse?”
“I got off it. Now sit and listen, I won’t repeat myself.”
You supposed that was the closest to an apology he’d ever give you, so you sat. It pained you, but you did. Besides, he had called you brilliant – your part – but still, you couldn’t force the smile from your face as you listened to his instruction. 
“Your ideas in your introduction are well formed, but from there, it all goes downhill. You have to reorder your logic for it to make sense, and we will be deducted points if you don’t elaborate on the principles of your concept first.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “So how would you do it?”
“For one, I’d restart completely and get straight to the point.”
You sigh exasperatedly. “Show me, then, if you’re so good.”
His eyes narrow at you, but he says nothing as he motions for you to come closer. 
The librarian was likely too scared to kick either of you out after closing time. Your arguments were heard by all of your neighbouring desks, and whenever there was a break in conversation, it seemed as if everyone held their breath. There was pin drop silence except for the two of you – but neither of you realised it. 
He was blunt, and had no idea what you were thinking, but perhaps this is what entrapped him. 
You, on the other hand, couldn’t stop thinking about how he had called your ideas brilliant. 
You quickly learn how good of a teacher he is. Maybe it’s his forced patience or once-in-a-millenium genuine praise that spurs your decision, but you find yourself so willing to prove yourself, and he finds himself willing to help. 
Maybe this wasn’t so bad. 
“Just fix it, stop arguing with me. I’m right.”
“Why? Do you know every single thing about our topic?”
“No, but I have four degrees and more experience than you.”
“Jackass.”
“Change it.”
You grumbled another insult under your breath, yawning as you scribbled out the section you wrote and began to reword your thoughts. The sudden quietude was jarring, and as you looked around, you realised the overhead lights were off, the only source of light from the lamps illuminating the desks. 
“Is everyone gone?” you ask, sitting up straight and stretching. 
“Who cares? Finish up, then we can head back.”
“Fuck you, give me a break. I don’t write at the pace of a robot.”
“Then learn.”
“Fuck you too Veritas Ratio.”
“Expand your vocabulary while you’re at it.”
“Why are you so intent on irritating me?”
“You get irritated easily. Not my problem.”
“If you know I get irritated easily, why do you keep provoking me then? Do you want me to hate you more?”
He seems to pause. Minisculely, almost unnoticeable had your gaze not been trained on him for the past few hours. He had a habit of pausing and furrowing his brows when you said something slightly out of line. 
“Just finish the paper. You talk too much.”
You sigh and get back to work as he leafs through his own research. 
Amicable silence passes. The night is alive outside, gleaming and glistening with the touch of benevolent gods and whispers of long gone wishes – pearls stitched by fate’s knowing hands. 
“I’m done.”
“Show me.”
You pass the paper to him as you watch his expression carefully. 
Crimson eyes flit across your work, gold ringed irises flickering in the scarce light. If you could capture the way the light reflected in his eyes in a jar, you think wishfully that you’d stare at it forever; Until the light died out, or it decided to escape the ephemeral glass confines. 
But you’d never admit it out loud. It was wishful. If Veritas Ratio could read minds, he would undoubtedly reprimand you.
He clears his throat, and you snap to attention, swatting away your fantasies of stealing and bottling evasive light. 
“It’s good.”
You wait for him to speak further, but he says nothing. “Just good?”
“Well, by my standards, no, but for you, it’s good.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I mean,” he leans on the table, forearms flexing. “That you’re finally starting to live up to your potential.”
“Huh?”
He blinks. “What do you mean?”
“What potential?”
He shakes his head absently, almost in disbelief. Forget light, you’d barter with the lady of fate to let you preserve this moment in a frame so that you could glimpse this expression forever. You’d never seen him so dumbfounded and awed at once – you doubt anyone ever has. He’d always been a man of knowing, and whatever he didn’t know, he would find out. Nothing was ever a “maybe,” or a “probably,” it was always absolute. It had to be absolute in his philosophy. 
You happened to be the one exception. 
“You’re not aware of the potential you have?”
“You think I have potential?”
“Aeons,” he murmurs under his breath, before standing and gathering his belongings. “I’m going to bed. See you in class tomorrow. We’ll finish up then.”
He leaves before you have the chance to question him, but as you slump back in your armchair, you can’t help but smile. 
Potential was as close as you’d ever get to a compliment from Veritas. 
The lady of fortune and lady Themis looked him in the eyes and saw their mortal emanator at his birth. He’d never been certain what he was made for, but he never let it burden him. Things like these weren’t made for him to ponder, that was up to the dreamers and inventors. 
He was a being of logic. A doctor of calculations and reason, and everyone knew him as such. 
But he simply couldn’t figure out what it was about you – your naive gaze or that pout that absently curved your lips – that had your words and scent and eyes lingering in his mind like a vengeful phantom. 
You were the being of all chaos and irrationality, but you were so bright. Unhoned, rough and unhewn. A gemstone shining with impurities but shining still, casting a beautiful mosaic cast across the ground with indecipherable shapes and patterns. 
It was deplorable. He hated you for being on his mind, and hated you even more for your wasted potential. He hated how you stared, how his cheeks would redden from the intensity of your gaze, and how he’d have to pretend he was unfazed, because he couldn’t afford any distractions. 
You were the being of his undoing, he was sure. You were brought into existence to spite him, to bring an unaccounted variable into the equation of his being, and present a causality dilemma for all he was. 
He wanted you gone, but he wanted you closer all at once. 
He hated it. 
It wasn’t common for him to sleep in either, so when he woke five minutes before class was supposed to start, he cursed you with all the spite in his heart and rushed to class, clutching papers from the night before, still imbued with traces of your lingering fragrance. Just how long had you pored over those papers for your smell to latch to them? It should be impossible. Fate was clearly against him. 
Fate brought you back together as he entered the brimming lecture hall, and the only vacant seat was the one next to you. 
“Did you get the papers in order?” you asked, glancing at his dishevelled state. The Dr Ratio you knew was never dishevelled, but this was the closest you’d ever seen him to it. 
“Yes. Just write your name on your bits and sign the sign off sheet and it’s complete.”
You take the paper from him, scrawling your name across your work, then handing it back. 
With your project finally submitted, you could breathe easy again – never endure his biting remarks and criticism again. 
But as the class progressed, you realised you were in trouble. 
The professor was merciless. He flicked through the presentation on the new topic with haste, rushing through new concepts, formulae and calculations with record speeds. You’d nudged Ratio, whispering for help, but he rolled his eyes and kept his stare attentively on the presentation. 
You wanted to slap him. 
Was he tolerating you because of the project? Was he going back to cold stares and dismissive glances?
You wouldn’t allow it. Not when you were so close to discovering the man behind the alabaster figurehead. As soon as the professor signalled the end of the lecture, a collective sigh was released from the class. 
You turned to Ratio, and he was already staring at you. 
“What was it you wanted to say?”
“Tutor me please.”
He raised a brow. “Why?”
“Because you’re smart.”
“Pick someone else, then. I don’t see why I should.”
“You asshole, I’ll buy you lunch if you tutor me.”
He frowns at you as he begins to leave. You trail after him. “Please?”
He sighs deeply. Like a man burdened with the weight of his own world on his shoulders. Byron’s brooding, romantic hero, in his melodramatic glory. “Fine. Stop annoying me.”
You smile. “Thanks. Meet you at your dorm after dinner?”
He sighs again. “ Don’t be late or I'll lock the door and go to bed.”
He watched the seconds tick by in agonising motion – a man awaiting his sentence, but also his reprieve. Is this what his classmates felt before they took tests? It certainly seemed like it. Relief was on the horizon, and yet great suffering was imminent. He’d never known the feeling until now.
But as they say, the harder the rain, the sweeter the sun, and he wasn’t about to relinquish his quest to decipher you. 
It seemed mutual as he paced in front of his front door, having eaten dinner at the cafeteria early to mentally prepare himself. 
When your knock finally sounded at his door, he sighed, checked his watch, then reluctantly opened the door. 
You were a picture to behold. 
Hair slightly damp from a shower, drowning in loose, oversized clothing. It was all painfully domestic to see you walk through his doorway, scanning his living space. In the back of his mind, he thought it felt right, but he shook his head. 
You were messing with him again. 
Two could play that game. 
“Take a seat.” He pulled out a stool from his kitchen island. “Want a drink?”
“What, like alcohol?” you huffed. 
“Are you an alcoholic?”
“Only if you want me to be.” you shrug, setting down your notes on the bench.
He sighs exasperatedly, already berating himself for agreeing to this. He never agreed to tutor anyone. Why were you the exception? You shouldn’t be. 
His hypothesis: you were trying to get something out of him. A way to cheat the class, his academic favour, something hedonistic, even. It seemed plausible enough, but you listened intently as he explained the concepts the professor spoke of in the lecture, asking questions and actively engaging with his explanation. 
It didn’t seem like there was any ulterior motive. So why was he letting you break his rules and defy his nature?
“God, why didn't the prof explain it during that lesson? Everyone struggled.”
“You’re not smart enough to understand his concise methods, then.” he huffed. 
“You’re too smart.”
“You’re not smart enough.”
“Smart ass,”
“Get back to work. You did that question wrong, by the way.”
You groaned. “Where?”
He was so caught up in your quarrels that he didn’t notice the time grinding away at the pestle. It was nearly midnight when you’d finally caught up with that day’s classwork, and he sighed in relief. 
“You understand?”
“Yes. You don’t have to worry now.”
“I won’t. Now get out.”
“No drink?” you frowned, pretending to sulk at his expense. He simply stared at you, getting up from his stool and walking to the fridge. 
Remarkably, he pulled out two beers. 
“Don’t speak. If you do, I'll regret allowing you over again.”
A smile befell your lips. “I’m not saying anything.”
“I don’t like the look on your face.”
“Wipe it off then.”
A frown.  His new hypothesis: you were trying to seduce him for better grades, more tutoring sessions, or for his own downfall. 
“Drink and leave.”
“If you say so.” you take the chilled bottle and drink. He watches your throat move, and he thinks of himself as pathetic as he drinks as well, wincing at the bitterness. 
“Do you live by yourself?” you ask, head propped onto your hand. 
“I do.”
“Are you lonely or something?”
“No, people are irritating.” Like you.
“What a ray of sunshine you are.” You’re not much better.
“I don’t have to put up with any idiocy.”
“If you say so.”
Quiet passes as beer fizzes in the bottles, golden liquid sloshing at the sides of the glass. 
One thing you learn that night is that Veritas Ratio, the famed multiple time valedictorian of your university, is an extreme lightweight. His cheeks become red quicker than you can finish your bottle, and he starts to grumble nonsense under his breath. 
“You’re really smart, you know?” he suddenly says after mumbling something about quantum physics.
“What was that?” 
“You’re really smart. Really smart. Impressive.”
“Really?”
“Yes, you idiot, how many times do I have to repeat myself?” he leans on the bench, not entirely aware of his surroundings as he does so.  He squints at the ground. 
He’s a cute drunk, you realise begrudgingly.
“Thanks, Veritas. You’re smart too.”
“I know.” he drinks from his bottle again, swirling the dregs. “But I can’t figure you out.”
“Hm?”
“Why are you acting like this?”
“Like what?”
“Do you hate me?”
You hesitate for a moment. “Yes.”
“Then why are you like this?”
Your eyebrows raise. 
“You’re making me irrational. I can’t figure it out.”
“...Sorry?”
“You should be. You know, I was nearly late to class today because of you. You kept me awake.”
“Really?”
“I couldn’t stop thinking. Thoughts. And things.”
You laugh at his predicament, draining your beer and gathering your things. Trying to leave before he said anything that could turn the encounter south. 
“Wait. Don’t go.” he slams his palm onto your notes, determination in his eyes. 
“I need to go to bed.” you say as if scolding a child.
“I need to figure you out. You’re still an enigma to me. The anomaly of my behaviour. Is this your intention?”
“What are you talking about? You’re drunk.”
“I can think. I can move. I can see fine. I’m not drunk. Answer me.”
“Maybe I'm just so mesmerising to you.” you joke, but his brows furrowed in thought. 
“Maybe.” he retracts his hand from your notes, and you stow them away into your bag, slinging it onto your shoulder before he can do anything else. 
As you’re halfway to the door, he pushes you against the wall. 
You never realised how tall he was until then. How much of a height difference you had, or how muscular he was. He had to have worked out on a daily basis. The pungent smell of alcohol lingered on his breath, and his cheeks were tainted with deep red as he searched your gaze. 
You decide he’s officially lost his mind, but who were you to complain?
“Are you mesmerising?” he whispers, eyes trailing down your face, examining and analysing, his hand tracing down your body with those slender scholar’s hands.
“You tell me.”
Then he grabs your face and mashes your lips together. The kiss is rough, biting and rushed. You freeze for a sliver of a second before returning it, letting him decide your allure with his own devices. 
He pulls away almost too fast, lips kiss bitten, breath fast. 
“You’re a siren.”
“Am I?”
“You’re going to ruin me.”
“What a weak man you are, if it only takes one woman to ruin you.”
“I hate you.”
“Really?”
“I hate it because I’d probably let you.”
“Are you a masochist?”
“Not in my right mind. I’ll wake up and regret everything, but it’ll all be the same, fundamentally.”
“So what’s your conclusion?”
He still has you pushed against the wall, caged within himself. “You were put into this world to bring about my destruction.”
“How? Why?”
“You’re my opposite. Brash, naive, carefree.”
“Are you normally this analytical of people?”
“No, which supports my point.”
“I see. So you’re going to let me ruin your image?”
“No. I hate you for it.”
“Let me go then.”
He wordlessly steps away, and you stumble to the door. 
“So what are we?” you ask, turned away from him. You can’t see the way he drinks in your visage like a starving man, and the small, sober part of him is grateful for it. 
“Polar opposites.”
“I mean who am I to you?”
He’s silent for a while, so you turn back to him to find him leaning on the wall, gazing into space. 
“Veritas?”
“You’re my undoing. A catalyst, maybe, for my downfall. But there must be balance, right? So what are you?”
“What am I?”
“I don’t know.”
You knew then that he was beyond reason. Was this what you did to him? You took some sadistic pride in seeing a man such as himself reduced to a mumbling, questioning, incoherent mess. You were somewhat pleased with the effect you had on him., but you could never let him know this. 
He crumpled to the floor, back to the wall, clutching his head in his hands. “I’ll figure you out.”
“Sure you will. Goodnight, Veritas.”
“Night.”
Your smile was brighter than the morning as you left his apartment, embracing the night’s welcoming chill. 
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written by @atlaswav , published 15th of July 2024
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avian-misdemeanors · 6 months ago
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hey Jewish converts and Jews-by-choice, Jew-by-birth here.
I see you, joining our Tribe despite how fucking scary it is to be Jewish right now.
I see you, joining our Tribe despite literal millennia of virulent Jew-hate
I see you, standing up and saying "shema Yisrael" even though doing so is as dangerous as ever
I see you, joining our ancient family even though this world hates us all so much
and I'm proud to have you with us
to listen to the roar in your heart and follow it, even though it's scary and dangerous and the world is full of screams of hate, to listen to your Jewish soul and make the choice to fully embrace it right now, that is courage beyond measure. that is true love and passion for am Yisrael
I'm proud to stand next to you. it's better with you here. we're stronger with you here.
from one Jew to another, welcome home💙✡️
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lazylittledragon · 4 months ago
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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avicecaro · 7 months ago
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i will literally defend to the death women talking about getting an "ick" about male partners. yeah it’s kind of a dumb term but it serves its purpose. it’s my view that what’s talked about as "getting the ick" is actually looking back, rather than being looked at, often for the first time in a relationship. when you’re not caught up in the performance and charm of your relationship, when you’re a little disengaged, when you’re just looking at the guy. and you start to think … am i attracted to him? have i ever been attracted to him? and so yeah sometimes it’ll be tiny innocuous things. i don’t care if watching her boyfriend order dessert in a restaurant or carry a water bottle or eat messily or cry is the sudden tipping point when she takes a step back, really looks at the guy, and goes "what am i doing? i don’t even like him" like good for her for realizing and getting out. listen to your gut.
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roach-works · 2 years ago
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hey i just wanted to say thanks for still expressing positive sentiments towards homestuck even after all this time. most BNFs aren't creating fanworks as much anymore (no one could maintain that intensity forever tbh!) but when they completely divorce themselves from that part of their life it's just... those creations brought a lot of joy, and it's extra sad when they feel the need to go scorched earth. i'm happy your works are still around and i really do wish you all the best going forward!
i think a lot of us abandoned homestuck because of two factors: the first was the collapse of the proudly sex-positive fandom space that let us be weird and creative without fear or shame, and the second was the fact that homestuck ended, then launched several epilogues, in a way that seemed specifically designed to mock fans for caring.
like, some very dark, sad, awful things seemed to happen to hussie, and he certainly did not have a good time with his own fandom. but from the perspective of someone in the audience, if a show i love turns on me and starts directly insulting me for loving it, caring for it, and hoping for the best, i get up and leave the theater.
'isn't it horrible to be the hero? aren't stories just prisons? isn't love ultimately meaningless? isn't hope the main driver of tragedy?' sure, fine. yeah. you're not the first man to ask these questions. they're big damn questions!
'aren't you stupid for sitting there and watching me ask these questions? because the answer is that i'm an idiot for asking them and you're twice an idiot for thinking that the answers might be worth the wait.' now you're just being an asshole to yourself, your story, and your audience. im taking my toys and going home.
homestuck was a brilliant, fascinating, unprecedented monument to storycraft... and it ended like a sandcastle getting kicked over by a toddler. that, to me, is the central tragedy of the piece.
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technovillain · 17 days ago
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did you ever figure it out (?)
( part two of this comic )
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