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weebsinstash · 3 months ago

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I saw your tags on that reblog about voting and, I keep seeing people bring up Project 2025 like it's some horrible thing but doesn't it already say a lot of stuff "those types" of people have already been saying anyways. I don't really understand what makes Project 2025 so different than what they're already doing ykwim

I highly highly recommend watching the LegalEagle video on Project 2025 because while they are discussing Project 2025 they even pull up screenshots of the exact pages with the exact wording that the document contains. I can mention a few things here but I really cannot emphasize enough that this document is over 900+ pages long and covers so many different topics where if I were to discuss everything i see wrong with it and what upsets me this post could easily reach several thousand words

Here is my biggest takeaway: many of the ideas and propositions Project 2025 suggests are either things that are based completely upon faith, morals, and/or opinions, OR, are things that are inherently proven to already be ineffective or even outright dangerous. Project 2025 is an explicitly Christofascist manifesto where they claim that the biggest problems in our country are having too many unmarried mothers, queer people, immigrants, and rejection of the Church (not rejection of religion as a whole, they explicitly use "the church" referring to either christianity or catholicism specifically multiple times throughout the manifesto) and seeks to rectify what it sees as problems with extremely damaging and dramatic actions that are, by definition, fascism, heavily restricting your human rights and even creating targeted government agencies to surveil the American public

>project 2025 explicitly says that fatherlessness is a "principal cause of poverty, crime, rejection of the Church, and high school dropouts" and they seek to rectify this through abolishing no fault divorce and completely getting rid of food stamps and other public welfare programs. How can you be an unmarried mother if you literally cannot access the programs intended to help you feed your child, after all?

>it blatantly preaches that keeping the (exclusively heterosexual) family unit together will solve most of America's problems and they take this to delusional degrees.

>they want to get rid of plan b, birth control, and even CONDOMS and instead insist that women use the rhythm method and track their ovulation cycles which is already known to be extremely ineffective and has been for most of human history

>they want to get rid of Planned Parenthood despite the fact they provide many many health services outside of abortion and even go far as to claim that we wouldn't need STI treatment and prevention once everyone is in monogamous faithful marriages.

> This also pretty explicitly means that if you're not married and want to have sex that they want to leave you without any way to prevent yourself from becoming pregnant and if you do become pregnant, you won't be allowed to seek an abortion and you won't be allowed to raise your own child unless you have a good income. They either want you to straight up fucking die or put your baby up for adoption (but don't worry it's not like Republicans are well known for defunding foster care and there are red states where teachers have explicit legal permission to use corporal punishment on children or anything...)

>they want to completely remove specific words and verbiage from government laws, regulations, and documents, in an extremely blatant attempt to censor the truth and scientific fact to intentionally keep the average American ignorant and uninformed. They want to completely remove language about gender, race, climate change, abortion, and other extremely basic words and topics. They quite literally do not even want you or in this case the government to even MENTION these issues as being real and important because if you don't know about it, you cannot educate yourself and possibly rise up

>did you know Fox News basically never even talks about Project 2025 because they don't want their viewers to even know what it is. The GOP model is to literally keep everyone as stupid as possible to trick them into submission

>speaking of, they want to completely abolish the department of education and this is explicitly because they want to control the flow of information and basically create a massive propaganda infrastructure where only their specific ideology and opinions are taught.

>it explicitly mentions a plan to mass deport immigrants, at least 20 million. I don't think any of us can even properly understand how extremely damaging that is to our country. Every single country on earth relies on immigrants to help keep their economies and job markets afloat and this is a policy explicitly rooted in hatred over fact. It is explicitly racist and is not based in any logic or reasoning besides "we don't want brown people in our country"

>Jesus Christ they hate queer people so much. So so so much. They literally refer to the modern movement or giving queer people and POC more rights and recognition "as the totalitarian cult movement known as The Great Awokening". THESE PEOPLE HAVE HELD POSITIONS IN GOVERMENT AND THIS IS HOW THEY'RE SPEAKING IN THEIR OWN OFFICIAL MANIFESTO. They are childish, delusional, and INSANE

>they want to completely remove uh, laws and regulations preventing you from being discriminated against and fired and being the victim of hate crimes, by the way. They want to be able to fire you if they find out you're queer. They want to physically harm you without repercussions if you are queer. They want you to not even be visible in public if you are queer. If you are a queer child they want your teachers to out you to your parents. If you are queer, they want you dead.

>not related to project 2025 but also related to this topic: did you know the man Trump elected as his Secretary of the Department of Labor, Acosta, was once a forner Epstein defense attorney. Trump was literally directly tied to Epstein and put a fucking Epstein lawyer in high level government. Members who have worked in Trump's administration have worked on this document. These people have already served and have had careers in government and they're THIS fucking nuts and ideologically poisoned

I just. I could literally keep going but it's quite literally just openly fascist behavior. "We don't like when people do this so we're going to make this illegal. We don't like Those People using welfare so we will completely get rid of welfare so no one can use it. We don't like people who don't go to our church so we will force our religious beliefs upon them and make them live by our rules regardless. We KNOW immigrants harvest most of our food and do significant portions of our less desirable manual labor jobs but, they're brown and they vote Democrat and we don't like people who arent straight white religious heterosexual conservatives so we will get rid of them despite the fact it would negatively impact our economy"

I just really cannot emphasize enough how much is riding on this election for not just our country but GLOBAL consequences. America has already been damaged so heavily by this conservative Suprene Court and the more we let these actual cultists take power, the harder they right to make themselves seem reasonable and the right choice and brainwash their already extremely easy to fool supporters, who then are now doing things like, setting ballot boxes on fire and attacking poll workers, all because their God king is still saying his election was stolen despite every single government agency and even governments who align with him saying it didn't happen

I know who I'm voting for in November. Do you? And before anyone wants to say "both sides are the same" you're clearly missing that neutrality explicitly benefits the side that is the most aggressive. Abstaining to vote or voting third party is a vote for Trump and Project 2025. If you are not attempting to stop them, you are assisting them. Buckle in everyone, because it's gonna get real messy over the next few months

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papirouge · 2 years ago

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Okay, as an autistic guy, I don't fully understand how you are radical feminism / TERF but not pro abortion

Like, aren't y'all always saying that you want men to die? And the burden of patriarchy and boyhood or how it's sexist to be forced to caretaker or whatever?

Aren't abortion like, things that can help reach you guys goal?

Also please don't use the r-slur next time

First of all, I don't take orders from randoms of the internet popping in my inbox. If a statement is retarded then it is retarded regardless of someone's intelligence/mental capability. If you're taking it personally, that's your problem.

Secondly, who's the "you" you're talking about when you say "y'all want men to die"? Although I never identified myself as a radfem, I've orbitted around them long enough to know that there are straight radfem who literally get shit for not entertaining the same hatred as separatists who are those are into this KAM (= kill all men) lunacy.

Those straight radfem do seek to male companionship and potentially a family so it's ridiculous to paint radical feminism as a movement actively seeking to eradicate malehood. Those straight radfem get shit in by kam radfem separatists for not wanting men dead so it's crazy that you're painting radical feminism as a monolith when there are so many internal conflicts and opinions lol Pro life radfem are definitely a thing.

Actually, trying to define radical feminism centering male fate is very patriarchy-oriented, and shows how little knowledge you have about radical feminism.

And anyone having a remote idea of what's laying behind abortion culture knows that it's absolutely misogynist. Abortion treats women's body like a commodity (abortion affects the body and female's fecondity), and sustains the idea that a woman with children is a problem (don't you find interesting that companies are paying for their employees abortion? "eat the rich" abortionists are clowns lol). Instead of building a society more accomodating for mothers and their family, we simply tell them they should've rather not having kids altogether. Pro abortionisys barely adress the struggle (poor) single mother face in society, because the only solution they shove is abortion, and they go blind about any other situation where women chose to keep their child. However pro life groups do offer support and ressources for those mother to become.

Pro life groups are more feminists than any pro abortion radical feminist thinking a woman is only free if she has the right to kill their offspring. Murder isn't freedom, and it's highkey offensive that this narrative is recklessly being spread around in pro abortion circles. If your freedom relies on harming or killing someone, you're a psychopath. Period.

Also have you ever considered that abortion also kills female fetus and that obsessively defending it despite acknowledging this is also misogynist ? I've addressed several times the cognitive dissonance of radfem weeping about China's one child policy and the systemic abortion of young girls, but didn't care about their local abortion clinic aborting female fetus en masse. Their only defense was "bUt tHey Don'T sYstEmiCaLlY tArgEttT fEmAle fEtUse" as if it changed anything about female fetus being killed. 🙄 Context might be different, the result remains the same. It's just a silly cope out.

Oh I won't even begin with planned Parenthood accepting donation to kill black babies which automatically puts any one defending this company as an ennemy since I'm a Black woman🤷🏾‍♀️

#answered #pro life

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anxiouspotatorants · 1 year ago

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Very interesting stuff (also, thanks for tagging me!), and I have some thoughts too.

I agree with a lot of what @disasterbiwriter said, especially regarding balancing core canon and personal changes in fanfiction. While I think fanfiction is an amazing place for characters to go down different paths and make different choices, the way these stories are written need to keep the characters themselves intact - what makes them them.

I struggle with seeing a completely canon-compliant route for Rory where she doesn't keep the kid. I do think the fandom puts too much weight on the "Who is the next Lorelai/Luke/Chris" debacle, but it is true that a lot of Rory's story is about how much she relates either to her mom or to her grandparents. And while the show doesn't strike me as anti-choice (there are Planned Parenthood posters in Rory's room), it doesn't really show abortion as an option. In the world of Gilmore Girls, if you get pregnant you stay pregnant.

All that being said, my personal favourite post-AYITL fanfics are usually about breaking the cycle in some way. In a lot of them it involves Rory keeping the pregnancy and finding out how to be both herself and a mom in a way that is different from both Lorelai and Emily. I've also seen miscarriage fanfics where she deals with the loss and has to figure out what her life looks like when she doesn't have her mother as a functioning blueprint. What I haven't seen (and would honestly like to see more of) are fanfics where Rory chooses to have an abortion. I am very clearly pro-choice, and while I have no issues with Rory choosing to keep the pregnancy (it is most likely what ASP and company would've gone for), I do think it would be interesting to see what abortion on Gilmore Girls would look like.

Rory having important conversations with her mother and with Lane (women who chose to go through with unplanned pregnancies) and with their support (or without, but let's face it they would support Rory and be pro-choice) decide that she isn't ready would've been such a strong thing to see on the screen, and could be in writing. Would Rory treat a pregnancy-scare as a kick in the butt to get her life back on track? Would she feel shame over not following through with something in her 30s that her mother did when she was just 16? Who else in the story would she tell and how would they feel? Would Logan feel like he should've been consulted? Would her grandparents understand?

I think it's possible to write Gilmore Girls fanfiction with incredibly dark subject matter because the show has always had a lot of shadows in it (Liz, Jess, Dean's infidelity, Lorelai's fights with her parents, Lane getting kicked out). What's important then - in my opinion - is to keep the tone of the show and the natural reactions of the characters intact. So with or without a baby, by choice or not, Rory should deal with it how she as a character would. Once that's established, you can really do whatever you want.

But also, fanfiction is fanfiction. Some people go completely off script and wonderful things can come out of that too. And bad things and just okay things. That's the beauty of fanfiction <3

TW: discussions of pregnancy and miscarriages

Okay, this is a question and I hope I'm not too insensitive about it: why should people automatically assume that Rory will become a mom post AYITL?

Now, I'm pro choice, but has anyone considered that maybe, just maybe, that Rory could miscarriage? That it doesn't have to end the way AYITL is supposed to end?

Don't get me wrong, it's not because I hate Rory or because I hate that it's Logan's baby or anything, but why hasn't anyone considered that a possible scenario includes a miscarriage?

Now ASP (for those who haven't watched Mrs Maisel) is not afraid to go to dark places (see the first of S5 for context), so it's not incredibly out of the imaginary that ASP could go for a darker trajectory? What happens when Rory's path suddenly changes with something that I think often invokes grief, shame and doubt?

I feel that sometimes a lot of media depicts miscarriages but they never deal with the drama that can stem from that. Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel that instead of taking that full circle route, what happens when something breaks that loop?

I would really like to know @ernestonlysayslovelythings @disasterbiwriter @lorelaiileigh @stellaluna33 @sagesfandomspot @jessmmariano @anxiouspotatorants thoughts about this

#my two cents hope ya liked it #tw miscarriage #tw abortion #cw miscarriage #cw abortion #gilmore girls #rory gilmore #gilmore girls meta #gilmore girls discourse #the potato rants

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obeymebutnotlikethat · 3 years ago

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The woman on the Supreme Court, Amy, suggests forced pregnancy is fine because that's why we have adoption according to the Daily Beast.

Let me clarify one thing: forced pregnancy is different from forced birth based on one part. Forced pregnancy is a person getting pregnant without their consent or in terms "without sought or desire." Forced birth is forcing a person to carry the baby to term and give birth. Both can intersect with each other.

Second; that is not a reason why we have adoption. That is a messed up reason saying "I can make you have a baby because you can just give it away like its a second hand toy."

I've seen in circles that people think putting babies up for adoption is wrong and those people should be forced to care for the child or not have gotten pregnant at all. 1: if the baby isn't put up for adoption it may end up in the trash, abandoned, neglected, or dead. 2. This is high to ask when many Americans are not given access to contraceptives or even taught what they are. Some do not know what can come out of sex or about safe sex because not everyone is taught the same sexual education.

3. Adoption is for people who want to be pregnant but cannot care for the child or want it. This is an option when the person does not want or is unable to have an abortion.More adoption laws will not make a large impact when giving birth puts more people in financial debt than an abortion does.

You know the meme : if my mom aborted me I wouldn't have even known. I want that part ebbed in the mind not for any sick reason. The debate has been around fetus and children already born. Children who have already been born are not things to just discard. There are so many kids in the system already and just having adoption be the go to is not ok.

I just hate that these systems already with problems are not being fixed but people keep using them as a fall back plan. As if already born children have the same process as a fetus. As if they won't feel anything.

So:

A list of side-effects to forced pregnancy and forced birth

Baby in trash

Attempted abortion

Praying for miscarriage

Home abortions

Attempted suicide

Suicide

Overdose

Domestic violence strong hold. Limiting available access to abortion, planned parenthood that helps in reproductive rights, and proper education can trap someone is a domestic violence situation or worsen it. More likely than not the baby will be used over the person and the baby is kept/brought up into a domestic violence situation.

Trauma

PTSD

Financial debt looking at a few grands in hospital fees.

P.S

They had a clause this year about a woman would have no say in her reproductive health. Her rapist would have a say if she could have an abortion but not her. When you are saying a rapist has more rights to his victims body than the victim then you are on the wrong side. Its also the laws written out this year to allow your rapist custody too.

I mean one state just closed their "if you got drunk on your on you cannot take your rapist to court" law.

There was a senator in 2017 or 2018 that said he does not care about IVF fetuses because they aren't inside a woman. In 2011-2012 the Republican handbook looked to discard IVF in whole but make a person have their rapist baby.

Greg Abbott vetoed a bill that would teach about domestic violence, child abuse, and dating violence to children and teens( that could prevent unwanted pregnancies).

Stop writing legislation that hurts us and punishes us but congratulates and lets our rapists get more control over us.

Edit: Not only women can get pregnant. Its good to be inclusive when discussing this topic as it affects so many people.

#abortion #tw forced pregnancy #adoption #tw suicide #america #supreme court #roe vs. wade #reproductive health #rights #social justice #tw rape

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apartmentnumber4 · 3 years ago

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My mom worked at planned parenthood for a few years taking calls, and she could tell you that pro life women are not really pro life. She’s taken calls from them scheduling abortions, the whole time telling her she should kill herself or that she’s going to hell. The nurses and doctors will tell you the same- women coming in and getting abortions, the whole time telling every single person making sure they’re safe and cared for that they’re horrible people, deserving of pain and suffering.

And the thing is, these women are typically white and rich and otherwise privileged. The thing is is that these are the women who will be able to go to whatever the new JANE is and get access to abortions, or they’ll be able to go to different states or even to a different country to get these procedures. And then they might go back home and report the new JANE or something else equally destructive. And it won’t matter to them because they think they’re the exception.

These people are hypocrites- they don’t actually care about unborn babies. If you put a Petri dish with a fertilized egg and a live infant in a burning building they’d save the infant every time. Republicans didn’t use to care. They made this attack very specifically because they knew it would help them gain the evangelical Christian populace. This is and always has been about controlling women and getting votes.

Donate to your local abortion fund, find what your local PSL and ACLU chapters are doing and support them. Go out and vote in the primaries and your local elections, and vote in the congressional elections as well. If you’re protesting, make sure to cover up and wear non traceable clothing, don’t rsvp to a protest or anything like that, just show up. Know your rights, refuse to talk to cops unless a lawyer is present.

#abortion #roe v wade #SCOTUS

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chooseyourownavenger · 4 years ago

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[START] [ABOUT AND WARNINGS] [FAQ]

Steve/ Have an abortion

You frown and run your hands over your stomach. This isn’t planned and neither of you is ready to co-parent. It will put too much pressure on you and Steve and in the end, all three of you will suffer.

“I think… I think I want to terminate,” you say honestly.

Steve rubs your arm. “Are you sure?” He asks, gently. “Don’t do it just because you think it’s what’s expected of you. You’ll have to live with the decision either way.”

“What about you?” You ask. “You have to live with it too.”

He nods. “That’s true,” he agrees. “But in the end, it’s not my body. I don’t have to go through childbirth. You would.”

“Does that mean you want me to have it?” You ask.

He shakes his head. “I honestly feel torn in different directions. Part of that is when I’m from. My parents weren’t strict Christians, and my ma was a nurse, she knew the reality of the world. But it was still not something you were supposed to do. Women got sent away for nine months if they were rich, or they risked dying on their kitchen floor if they were poor, but the preference was always that the guy did the right thing and married her. I was always taught to do the right thing and right now I’m fighting that ‘you have to marry her’ alarm that’s going on in the back of my head. But in an ideal world, you wouldn’t be pregnant right now. We’d be married already and we’d have talked about having a family and be planning to do it. So if you want to terminate, that’s the closest to getting that right? We move on and then later if we get to that point, we can choose to do this.”

You laughed softly. “You’d really marry me?”

He nods and kisses the top of your head. “I think I’d get given a lot of flack by my friends, but I really would.”

You lean up and kiss him deeply. His confession solidifies things for you. Steve Rogers is a good and decent man and you want to give your relationship the chance to grow properly, not being forced into something before it’s ready. He caresses your jaw as his lips move with yours. He pulls back slowly and looks down at you. “What was that for?” He asks.

“Just for being you,” you said. “Will you come with me to the appointment?”

He nods. “Of course I will,” he says. “I wouldn’t let you go through this thing alone.”

“Thank you,” you say, and snuggle into the crook of his arm.

Thanks to the Avengers having their own medical wing, you’re able to avoid the crowds of right-to-lifers yelling insults at women outside of planned parenthood. You change into a hospital gown and get up on the table. It’s covered in a narrow sheet and absorbent pad and you make sure you’re in position on it for when the doctor arrives.

Steve seems to notice the tension you’re holding and takes your hand. “I’ll be here the whole time,” he says. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I feel guilty,” you say, as you link your fingers with his.

“You don’t have to go through with it if you don’t want to,” Steve assures you.

You shake your head. “No, it’s not that. I just know people who have struggled to have a baby, and here I am throwing one out.”

“That’s not what you’re doing,” Steve says. “And the world can be cruel. It’s not fair that kids are born into families that abuse them. Or good people with so much love to give can’t have their own. But that hasn’t got anything to do with here and now. Here and now you aren’t ready for this.”

You nod. “Thank you, Steve.”

He takes your hand and kisses your fingers and as he lowers his hand your doctors come into the room.”

“How are we doing?” Doctor Asher asks.

You blurt out a laugh and quickly cover your mouth. “Sorry,” you say. “Okay. Ready for this to be over.”

“Well, it is a fairly quick procedure,” Doctor Asher says. “Ben will sedate you, and then we'll get started.”

Ben takes a moment putting in your cannula and sets up an IV. The sedative acts quickly and it’s not long until you’re feeling loopy and like a mix between drunk and high. Ben put surgical drapes over your stomach and they put your legs up into the stirrups.

“There’s going to be a pinch,” Doctor Asher says. She inserts the speculum and spreads it, and you wince, squeezing Steve’s hand.

“It’s okay,” Steve says. “I’ve got you.”

“She lied to me, Steve,” you whine, your speech slurred.

He smiles and presses a kiss to your fingers. “She’s very mean, sweetheart.”

The sedation becomes deeper, like your swimming under a thick fog while the doctor moves around at your legs. “Okay, one more. This one will be worse.”

If Steve wasn’t a super-soldier you wonder if you would have broken his fingers. You almost scramble right back off the table to get away from the sharp pain you feel. Then after that, you feel nothing.

There is a vague awareness that the doctors and even Steve are talking - telling you that you were doing great, and just a little longer. You know you keep complaining about them hurting you, but whether you actually feel any pain you can’t say. Everything that is happening is happening to someone else and you are sitting in a foggy little bubble.

“All done,” Doctor Asher says. “You did really well. Ben will help you to recovery.”

Steve helps you to sit up and get your panties back on, as Ben puts a large maternity pad in place for the bleeding and you get put into a wheelchair and wheeled into recovery where you are put into bed. Steve hops up on the bed, sitting near your head, so he can caress your hair.

“Steve,” you say, still deep in your drug fog. “Do you hate me?”

“No, sweetheart,” he assures you. “Never think that.”

“That’s the sedation,” Ben says. “But her mood will be erratic as the hormones right themselves.”

“Thank you,” Steve says and wraps his arm around you as Ben fusses around you. Unhooking the IV and taking out your cannula. He makes sure you have a heated blanket and that you have enough pillows and gets you juice and a sandwich. When he leaves, you turn your still very foggy head back to Steve.

“Will we be okay after this?” You ask.

“What do you mean, honey?” Steve says.

“Us. This happened too soon right?” You slur. “Aren’t you going to resent me?”

“No, sweetheart,” Steve says, holding you against him. “I don’t know what the future is going to be like, but I’m proud of you for making the right choice for you. We’re going to be just fine.” He leans in close so you can feel his breath against your neck. “I love you, you know?”

It is a very strange time to hear it, and you aren’t even sure you’ll remember that he has said it, but rather than being scary, it puts you at ease again. You are all going to be okay. You snuggle into him and close your eyes. “I love you too,” you whisper.

~ END ~

#Have an abortion #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #captain america #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #marvel #marvel fanfic #pregnancy #unplanned pregnancy #abortion #choose your own adventure #choose your own avenger #steve #path end #end path

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newagesispage · 3 years ago

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OCTOBER 2021

THE RIB PAGE

*****

We miss U Charlie Watts!!

*****

The Stones performed at a private party for Patriots owner Robert Kraft of all people. The test run looked like just that. Shark jumped. I am becoming disillusioned.

*****

SNL is back with Owen Wilson as first host of season 47. Kacey Musgraves is the musical guest. Episode 2 will have a ridic choice for host. Halsey will sing. I suppose $ is power with the Kardashians. I could think of about 10 million other people to host but more and more Lorne goes for the shiny object , what he THINKS people want instead of taking risk. Beck Bennett is out.

*****

Is everybody watching the Amber Ruffin Show?? I loved her before but now… I learn so much from her show. Sometimes it takes a comic to get to the real serious shit. For example: Have you heard of drowning towns? Towns like Oscarville, Kowaliga, York hill, Seneca Village, Prentiss and countless other black towns that were drowned out to make lakes for the local whites. Central Park was also made after a black community was erased from history. Development displacement? Alleyway dwelling authority? Even those rabid for history can find out new things everyday. Thanks Amber!!

*****

Bob Woodward and Robert Costa are finally giving us Peril !!!!!! I’ve been waiting!!** I was in political nerd heaven on Sept. 24 when Yamiche hosted Robert, Bob and Weijia Jang on Washington Week. All of my favorite pundits all together at one table, my dream team!!

*****

Iman looked great at the Met Gala!! Other great looks belonged to AOC, Tessa Thompson, Maluma, Helen Lasichanb and Pharrell Williams. Gigi Hadid, Kiki Layne, Ashton Sanders, Hailee Steinfeld, Kehlani, Zoe Kravitz, Michaela Cole, Lili Reinhart, Kate Hudson and Shai Gilgeous- Alexander were great. Whoopi Goldberg seemed a bit off.

*****

Jason Isbell is back with his latest offering, Georgia Blue.

*****

I see a lot of Title Max type establishment are closing down. Are they a thing of the past? Let’s hope.

*****

Law and Order is coming back to NBC for season 21. Dick Wolf will own 2 entire nights of television. Some of the old cast is reported to be returning.

*****

Britney Spears Father was suspended as her conservator.

*****

Timothy Chalamet, Rowan Atkinson, Sally Hawkins and Olivia Coleman will star in Wonka.

*****

The 2022 Super Bowl halftime show will bring us Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J. Blige, Dr. Dre and Kendrick Lamar.

*****

People are doing test runs for school board positions to see if their political ideas will play well for the big leagues. If they don’t seem to work, at least they can sometimes change the rules in their own area.

*****

Joe Rogan got Covid.

*****

Lake Michigan beaches were closed down thanks to a US Steel plant chemical leak.

*****

Is this country the master of endless administrative work? None of us should have been surprised at the red tape that the slowed down the end of the war in Afghanistan.** Uber donated 50k for rides and meals to the Afghans when they arrive.**And why do so many waste taxpayer $ on useless recounts and recalls when people need real help with food and healthcare? They must really hate humanity.

*****

R. Kelly was found guilty of 8 counts of sex trafficking and 1 count of racketeering.

*****

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. – Dwight D. Eisenhower

*****

Texas has put a law into effect to allow most Texans to carry open without permit or training.

*****

Texas has banned abortion at about 6 weeks. Uber and Lyft will pay drivers legal fees if sued under Texas abortion law. Lyft donated $1mil to Planned Parenthood. ** Look for the ruling in the Mississippi law over Roe V. Wade in June 2022.**Hear us roar!** BTW.. Go Jen Psaki!!!!!!!

*****

They seriously banned plastic straws and abortion before assault rifles? – Eden Dranger

*****

Please stop banning abortions, the last thing the world needs is more Americans. –Sarah Beattie

*****

Women don’t inseminate themselves. Vasectomies are reversible. Should every man have one until he’s deemed financially and emotionally fit to be a Father? – Bradley Whitford

*****

90 year old William Shatner will go to space for Blue Origin.

*****

The Q Anon Shaman pled guilty to a felony for obstructing the Electoral College proceedings. I say 20 years and a $250K fine.** 600 others have been indicted.

*****

Days Alert: The Beyond Salem thing was ridic but it was so great to see some old characters. Days is so great at visiting old family. Who can resist Shane, Austin and Carrie, Billie and the old Kristen? I do wish that Peacock would get their kinks out!! Back to the real Days: Are we smelling an Emmy for Susan Seaforth Hayes and Bill?? ** Good to have Abigail back. It is always fun to wonder which actress and or personality it will be. ** Deidre Hall got her star on the walk of fame.**And just in time for Halloween, the Devil is making a comeback. The end of the year in Salem is always the best!! It is so brave to give the 96 year old man the old switcheroo into the Dark Lord. It was fun to see the grandkids discover Grandma Marlena’s story. Delicious!! Hail Satan!!** It is past time for Tate and Teresa to come back to town. Brady needs to be put in his place. And thanks for the Philip and Chloe flashbacks!!

*****

The breakdown of the vaccinated: 90% of Atheists, 86% Hispanic Catholic, 84% Agnostic, 79% White Catholic, 73% White mainline protestant, 70% Black mainline protestant, 57% white evangelical. 1 in 500 Americans have died of Covid.

*****

So Mike Lindell and Jim Baker have teamed up to sell children’s Bible pillows.** Piers Morgan has returned to the Murdoch organization by joining Fox. That sounds about right.

*****

Please stop saying the vaccine does not have severe side effects, I took my shots and now I’m alive and have to keep working. –Mohand Eishieky

*****

In theatres Oct. 22: The French Dispatch.** October also brings us a new season of Curb your enthusiasm and Oct. 17 will catch us up on Succession. Whew!!!

*****

So people under conservatorship are not free to marry who they want? What?

*****

46% of Americans believe in ghosts.

*****

Simone Biles, Mckayla Maroney and Aly Rasiman testified at the Senate judiciary hearing about the FBI’s handling of accusations against Larry Nassar and it was eye opening!

*****

We wanted a no -nonsense Dem who pushes on and does not puss out. I am a bit surprised to see we have it. There are so many pressing issues that I hope Biden works a bit more on Haiti though.

*****

The National Police Act was passed to celebrate cops. Still no police reform.

*****

John Mulaney and Olivia Munn are going to have a baby.

*****

The Emmy’s were a little different this year with more of a Golden Globe look. Cedric the Entertainer hosted with Reggie Watts as DJ. Lots of minority noms but barely a win. It was a white people night. Ted Lasso had a great night. Mare of Eastown took home a few with Evan Peters, Julianne Nicholson and Kate Winslet. Now, Kate is great but how did Anya Taylor- Joy not walk away with that? Queens Gambit did win a couple and gave the longest speech with the seemingly arrogant director Scott Frank who opened up 2 page acceptance. Categories were tough but I was routing for Renee Elise Goldberry and Bowen Yang but perhaps next year. The people in England who had their own party for all the statues that the Crown won seemed to be having more fun! Hacks won for writing and directing and Jean Smart!! It was nice to see the Norm Macdonald love which was barely mentioned by Lorne but celebrated by John Oliver. Colbert ‘s election night special won as did JB Smoove. Hamilton won and Debbie Allen got the big one. I do not understand why real singers and or musicians have to be there for the in Memoriam. It takes me out of it a bit and concentrates the focus on them. Do they think that people will pay attention more? Do they want to keep the home audience or live audience from the bathroom? My best dressed were Anya Taylor-Joy, Michaela Cole who won for I may destroy you, Jean Smart, Josh O’Connor, Kathryn Hahn, Billy Porter, MJ Rodriguez, Keenan Thonpson, Leslie Odom Jr., Catherine O’Hara, Trevor Noah, Eugene Levy, Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys, Bowen Yang, Anthony Anderson, Leslie Grossman, Amber Ruffin, Allyson Felix, Renee Elise Goldberry, Samira Wiley and Rege- Jean Page. My worst were Sarah Paulson, Gillian Anderson, Beanie Feldstein, Elizabeth Olsen and Aidy Bryant. To me the best part of the show was the enthusiasm of Conan and the way he injected himself into much of the evening .He was the show. Go Conan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

Next year there must be some Emmys for Sarah Paulson and Cobie Smulders in Impeachment!!!!!

*****

Oh Boy!! The Eyes of Tammy Faye!!

*****

Looking forward to the Electric Life of Louis Wain with Benedict Cumberbatch and Claire Foy.

*****

Abba has a new album!!

*****

Shang Chi is the biggest Labor Day opening with a $71.4 mil opening.

*****

Sen. Amy Klobuchar has announced she has breast cancer.

*****

Is it the 70’s? A streaker ran past the studio of the Today show.

*****

Rascal Flatts Joe Don Rooney was arrested for DUI.** Nicholas Cage was thrown out of a prime rib pace in Vegas after being drunk and disorderly.

*****

Jennifer Eckhart has filed a lawsuit against former Fox news anchor Ed Henry for rape and retaliation after allegedly being handcuffed and beaten.

*****

Scarlett Johansson has settled her Disney lawsuit.

*****

Pete Buttigieg and Chasten had twins they named Penelope Rose and Joseph August.

*****

I noticed a commercial for Dancing with the Stars. Are we onto the E list because I have heard of hardly any of these people. ‘Stars’is really stretching it. And as I post this I see there are some covid issues there as well.

*****

Virgin River was renewed for 2 more seasons.

*****

Trevor Noah is right? Why do they stop giving lollipops to adults at the doctor?

*****

Jon Stewart is back on Apple tv with ‘The problem with Jon Stewart.

*****

Brooklyn 99 had about the best finale (other than Newhart) that I can recall. I had my fingers crossed that Chelsea would be back. Will they honor us like they did in the show and come back for a special about once a year? That would be fucking awesome!!

*****

Don’t expect compliments from an insecure person.- Mr. Pickles

*****

Thousands and thousands of people are in need. Haitian refugees and other immigrants have seen nothing like this what with assassination, a hurricane and earthquake. The Southern border is a mess.** Why does Fox news keep telling refugees the border is open as they sit back and laugh at Biden’s predicament. Spreading false info to intentionally hurt poor, distressed people has no end for them.

*****

Do companies know how fucked up their employment websites are? It is true that some people do not want to work. It is true that people schedule interviews and don’t show up. It is also true that companies have made it so hard to apply that many can’t. I suppose it is easier for them but the poor who may really want to work have a hard time. Paper applications are almost completely gone. The old fashioned way of walking into low paying job sites and finding a connection with a manager rarely exist. Some places only accept texts or have long ridiculous psych tests that a working Mother may not have time for. A Father working many hours already, may not be able to go to the library to get online if they cannot afford a computer. Many websites tell you that there no positions available in your area while there is a huge sign in front of the establishment. Can’t find people to work.. Gee I wonder why?? And treat people with respect once you find them, how about that?

*****

Keep your head up in failure, and your head down in success. –Jerry Seinfeld

*****

Hey.. There was a van air B’n B biz going that got busted. Hey.. The poor need vaca’s too. It is wrong but If they are willing to sleep in a van, why not. I truly think that many do not understand how much people are struggling.

*****

Free coffee day came and went but only a few places really gave you free coffee without rules to govern the promo. Some places wanted to sell you something else and some made you belong to their club. Starbucks held that customers had to come inside for the free cup of Joe, handicapped or not.

*****

One would think the Republicans would run out of $ for recounts but they have deep pockets. Just think how much good they could do for the huddled masses with that scratch.

*****

Sad to lose Mick Brigden, protégé of Bill Graham who managed The Stones and worked with Frampton, Dylan and Santana.** And the comics were very vocal about the loss of Norm Macdonald. He was one of a kind and he will be missed!

*****

R.I.P. Ruth Marx, Lee Scratch Perry, Willard Scott, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Isadore Bleckman, George Wein, Michael K. William,George Holliday, Anthony Johnson, Basil Hoffman, Al Harrington,Willie Garson, Mick Brigden, Tommy Kirk and Norm Macdonald.

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tansypoisoning · 5 years ago

Text

(Un)Conditional - Part 1

Truce

You didn’t remember how or why you found yourself in Ransom’s bed in the first place, but now, poor, pregnant and desperate, you had your reasons for putting up with him, and they weren’t noble. His reasons for staying with you weren’t noble either.

Me 🤝 The Reader Insert making stupid decisions

In which the reader is pregnant with Ransom’s baby and he sees that as an opportunity for personal enrichment. Big changes to the original plot, but Idk where this is going, so stay tuned for my brain farts, and I accept suggestions (Ransom redemption arc? Or should I make him even shittier? I haven’t decided yet!). I still want to have Benoit Blanc in the story somehow, because he’s my jam, my jelly, my peanut butter and my peanuts. This chapter is safe for anyone who hasn’t watched the movie but THERE WILL BE SPOILERS in the future.

Chapter 2 - I Came Out to Have a Good Time and I’m Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now

Fandoms: Knives Out

Genre: *surprised Pikachu face*

Ships: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Smut, some light choking, some daddy kink, mentions of past sexual assault, talk of abortion, unhealthy relationships, Ransom is an asshole, a fuckboy and also verbally abusive tbh.

You were such an idiot.

Many were the times you had come home after terrible dates, or left parties in your friends’ arms after a guy tried to finger-bang you when you were passed out on the couch, and yet you still let your guard down around men you knew to be assholes. You could always tell; you weren’t sure whether it was thanks to familiarity ,or if you had a knack for reading people, but you still let terrible men in when you knew them to be terrible. Bad habits, hard to break, yadda yadda yadda. All that made for piss poor comfort when you looked at the five little plastics sticks in front of you.

Feet tapping against the ground and your phone held in between your cheek and shoulder, you typed on your laptop. Planned Parenthood. You should’ve done this sooner, way sooner, when you could get an IUD, or the pill, or the shot, or whatever the fuck else, instead of trusting your reliably unreliable partners and your nonexistent backbone. Birth control was expensive, but it was nowhere near as expensive as a baby, and you were going to get the same amount of help with either, which was to say, none.

No… That wasn’t quite true. Your brother and your friends would pitch in if you asked, you knew, but, as previously established, you were an idiot.

You knew there were people who loved you and would support you no matter what, but you didn’t want to burden them with your problems. This mess was on you, on you and…

Mailbox. Of course he didn’t pick up. He got what he wanted from you, and was now moving on to another woman who was equally as gullible and equally as “passable” as you. You couldn't believe his negging had worked on you, you were so fucked.

Deep breathes. It wasn’t over yet, you could fix this. The… the thing was still only two months, you could get rid of it, with a pill, even. But should you?

You tossed your phone to the side and opened another tab. Fetus two months. You clicked the first result that mentioned the development of the thing growing inside you and read the section entitled “Baby”. Internal organs already in place… wiggling and waving like mad? Distinct facial features?!

Your hands found their way to your mouth as a sob found its way past your lips. No way. This was some forced-birther propaganda, it had to be.

You left that shitty website and opened usually trustworthy Wikipedia, but it was of no help. It didn’t exactly contradict the information the other website had given you – the difference between “waving” and “twitches” was negligible to your addled brain.

You closed your laptop with a little more force than it was wise. You stood and began pacing, one hand over your face and another resting on your abdomen. It was just your luck to have your eggs dodge the sperm of every jerk you could get to pay child support, only for you to end up carrying the Antichrist – and the Devil could afford the best lawyers.

Damned be the day you let Hugh RaNsOm Drysdale in your bed without a condom, and damned be you for being so fucking stupid. You deserved whatever suffering that came from this, and you could accept them with some grace if it didn’t feel like you were dragging an innocent along with you.

You stopped and looked down at the row of pregnancy tests arranged over the bathroom counter, all of them positive. You couldn't do this. You regretted that one night of meaningless sex more than you regretted anything in your life, and maybe you’d regret your current decision even more but you couldn't do the thing you knew you should do.

You swiped all the tests into your arms and dumped them in your bag. You grabbed your keys and walked out of your pitiful apartment and into your pitiful car. You had barely enough money to take care of yourself, let alone a child. Abortion could be the best thing you could do as a mother, but…

You pushed the keys into the ignition and shook your head. You were emotional, that was all. If you just gave yourself a little more time you’d stop thinking of it as more than the parasite it actually was, but for now… For now you needed to get things straight with the sperm donor, no matter how much it could hurt, and you were under no illusions – it would hurt like a motherfucker.

You had been in Ransom’s unfairly cool house a grand total of three times. He didn’t like having you over, much preferring fucking at your house even if he turned up his nose at the building and everything inside it. Maybe he didn’t like having to disinfect his furniture every time it got into contact with your poor people germs.

Yeah, like he cleaned anything.

You parked in front of the contemporary building and made your way to the front door, ringing the bell four times because Ransom never answered when people rang only once or twice, and then another because you were filled with dread, and manic energy, and the powerful desire to punch him in his perfect face until it wasn’t quite so perfect anymore.

You waited several minutes but there was no answer. It wasn’t surprising; if he was inside you’d have seen him through one of the outrageously large windows that covered almost every wall of the house.

You sat down on the steps to the entrance and pulled out your phone. You were done with work for the day, and you weren’t sure when he would want to pick up your calls again. You could wait.

And wait you did.

It was two in the morning when Ransom’s BMW pulled up in front of the building, activating the motion sensor lights. He walked out of the car with the confidence of a man who knew he owned everything he surveyed.

Fucking dipshit.

“Wow,” he laughed, opening his arms then dropping them to his side again, lest he appear too inviting. “You want it bad.”

You started rummaging through your bag for the pregnancy test as not to waste your time with pointless conversation. That should tell him everything you wanted to say.

“Sorry, I’m not in the mood today,” he said pulling his keys from his stupid suede coat only he could make look hot “long day, you know how it is. You can suck my cock and stay over, if you want.”

He had unlocked the door and was nudging you with his foot when you found what you were looking for and got up with a jump.

You waved the stick in the air victoriously. Even though you were the one who was the worst off in this scenario, you could at least use the source of your misery to wipe the smirk off his dumb, gorgeous face.

Done and did. Once Ransom caught on, the corner of his mouth dropped, free falling. Your life had been thrown in disarray, and the medical bills, if you chose to keep the thing, would ensure you would end up homeless in a couple of months, but at least you could rejoice in the fact you had ruined his eternal party in a spectacular fashion.

“What do you want?” He snarled. “Can’t pay the abortion? How much is it?”

You recoiled as if he had just swung a knife in your direction. This was new. You’d seen him angry before, sure, but this… the curl of his lips, the look in his eyes– it had you second guessing your decision to come see him.

You struggled to find your voice for a few seconds “I don’t… I haven’t decided what I want to do yet.”

Regret pierced you through like a lance. You knew he didn’t care about you – he didn’t “do monogamy”, he never asked you about your day, it was a struggle to get him to even buy you a coffee, and he only bothered to make you come if he could use it to feed his pride somehow – but all his disinterest in your well-being was nothing compared to the loathing radiating from him, like you were a fat dying cockroach stuck to the bottom of his nice leather shoes.

There was no reason Ransom should be able to make you feel like that. He was an absolute shitheel, a trust-fund baby who had never had a job in his life, never worked to build anything, and didn’t even have the decency to be thankful to his family for all they had done for him, and you didn’t even like him (conceding that he was attractive and you were a masochist was not the same as liking), so his opinion shouldn’t matter to you, someone with a stable source of income and an ounce of moral fiber. That didn’t stop you from writhing under his gaze.

“Get in,” he said, voice devoid of anything that could be considered charming.

You entered, waiting at the side, in fear of walking past the foyer without invitation, while he locked the door behind him.

He walked by you and went right to the kitchen. You followed him with your eyes, watched him grab a glass, fill it with water and down it. He didn’t offer you anything – you figured he didn’t think you deserved it.

“You’re suggesting it’s mine.”

His words startled you from your stupor, and you shook in your spot by the entrance before answering. “I know it’s yours. I haven’t slept with anyone else in almost a year.”

“And you are saying that.”

You bristled at his insinuation. “We can get a paternity test, if you want.”

Ransom lifted his head and inhaled sharply. He paced the length of his high end, open concept, immaculate-because-it-was-never-used kitchen, then opened a drawer, pausing to look up at you, closed it, then moved to the next and repeating the process several more times, while you shifted from one foot to the other.

“Here’s the thing, honey,” he said, and the last word was said with anything but sweetness “I’ll pay for the abortion, and I’ll pay for you to have the abortion. If you’re not gonna do it, then I don’t want to see your dog face again.”

You knew Ransom didn’t like kids – he despised them, even – but you didn’t think he’d react quite this badly. You knew he would want nothing to do with it, but you still thought telling him was the right thing to do. He deserved to know at least, surely.

The feeling you got when he first turned on you that night was a sign; you shouldn’t have come.

“I’m leaving,” you whispered.

Ransom’s cheeks were red and wide, and it seemed as if he was about to argue when he slammed his hand against the counter then stomped towards you.

You shrunk in on yourself, but you needn’t have. He just unlocked the door and pulled it open, holding it for you to walk through. His breathing was heavy and his shoulders were tense, like he was holding himself back.

Once you had rallied your strength and crossed the threshold, you heard your name being called behind you. You turned to see Ransom, still glaring at you with the same awful expression. You couldn't imagine what he had to tell you that hadn’t already been said.

“If you try contacting me again, you’re fucked.”

And then he slammed the door in your face.

You made your way to your car, head hanging low. That had been a disaster, but at least he made it easier for you to choose one of the options.

Fucking dipshit.

You had been right; time had given you helped you think things over.

Three days later and you could refer to the fetus as a fetus without going down a depressive spiral, and the thought of abortion was more palatable to you. In a couple more days you were certain you’d be able to walk into Planned Parenthood with your head held high, get your pill, and walk out, facing the world and the potential crowds of angry protesters with confidence, then move on with your life, promising never to get involved with another shitty guy again. The scare would be enough to make you change your ways, you were sure.

You didn’t want a kid, at least not yet. You were young, living paycheck to paycheck, and any child you had right now would grow up without a father. You were still mulling it over but abortion seemed like the most responsible choice, and if you couldn't make the responsible choice now, you’d make for a terrible mother in the future.

A knock on the door made you look up at the clock. Fifteen past eleven. Maybe the old lady who lived across the hall from you needed help killing a bug or something. You stood, pulled the latch off and unlocked the door, not thinking much of it, and almost walked face first into a hard body you were far too familiar with.

Ransom was there, waiting for you, his face inscrutable. His chest was heaving, and some serious heat emanated from it. You had the urge to hug his waist and burrow into his warmth, but you resisted it bravely. You’d promised yourself you would stop chasing men like him, and you intended on keeping that promise.

“Ransom,” you greeted, trying to keep your voice even.

A flash of pain roamed his face, and then he was putting his hands on you, holding the side of your face in his large palms. You opened your mouth to scream, but the sound was muffled between your lips and his.

A kiss. Ransom was kissing you – and a second ago you were so sure he was paying you a visit just to beat you up.

He maneuvered you into your apartment, still cradling your cheeks with surprising gentleness. You knew you should’ve stopped him, but your feet followed his steps with such ease, and he was so fucking warm and you living room so cold.

As one of his hands slid from your face to the back of your neck, something inside you screamed. It told you to stop now or it would be too late, and you’d fall into the same old hole and not be able to crawl out of it. You surprised yourself by listening to it and pulling away, pushing on his chest to keep a good distance between you. You told yourself you were doing well, even though you were holding onto his white shirt like a lifeline and arching your body into his.

“Ransom, wha-” your words were cut off by another kiss, more heated than the previous.

He pushed you down onto your couch - the creaky old thing he always complained about – and climbed on top of you you, forcing you both into a laying position.

When Ransom pulled away (only to immediately latch his lips to your earlobe) you made to question him before the weakest part of yourself could convince you to just let it happen. It was she who had gotten you into this mess in the first place. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” He mumbled against your skin.

“I know what you’re doing,” you huffed, twisting your body beneath him in a half-assed attempt to buck him off “You told me to never contact you again. Why are you here?”

He chuckled, a deep rumbling sound that had your very core thrumming. He removed his hands from you and pushed himself up by the forearms to look down at you. When you saw his smirk, you knew you were going to end up having sex with him no matter what he said next.

“I guess I couldn't keep away.”

And with that he went right back to his station, sucking and nibbling on the spot just behind your ear and running his hand across your waist and belly.

But what about the baby? What about whether you wanted to keep it or not? These questions were lodged in your throat, dying to burst out, but you didn’t want to to ruin this moment. You were so tired; you just wanted to be held, and Ransom was willing to do that for you, so what was the harm in giving in?

You lifted a leg and wrapped it around his thigh, and that Ransom took as acquiescence or defeat. He pulled away to lift your shirt above your breasts and wasted no time diving for them, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth and squeezing the other in between his fingers. You planted your feet on the couch and used them as leverage push your crotch upwards and rub it against his. He was a terrible person, you knew, but he could fuck you so good when he wanted to, and right now you only had the brain space to care about one of those things.

Your hips rocked in tandem with his, driving you closer to that edge you didn’t know you were yearning for until you saw him standing on your doorstep. Entangled in his arms, you remembered your older brother’s words from that night some ten years ago when you were lying on the backseat of his car, a plastic bag filled with your vomit clutched in your hands. You saw his eyes in the rear view mirror, crinkling in a smile that was equal parts amused and concerned.

A pretty boy is going to be the end of you, huh?

Ransom pushed himself into a kneeling position, removed his dark cardigan and tossed it to some forgotten corner of your living room, his shirt receiving the same treatment soon after. For someone who was so averse to working, he sure didn’t skimp on his work outs. He was built like a god, but his smile was that of the devil.

He crashed down on top of you, and his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you to him. You sunk both hands in his perfectly coiffed hair and dragged him up until you were staring into his baby blue eyes. He leaned down to kiss you, and you obliged him. His mouth devoured your own while his hands roamed your body, hungry, desperate almost. You didn’t want to be outdone, both because he was an asshole and you didn’t want to lose to him, and because you were as starved of him as he seemed to be of you, so you wrapped both legs around his waist to pull yourself even closer to him, as close as you could get.

Ransom’s hands abandoned your body in favor of his belt, unbuckling it to shove his pants just past his upper thighs. His eyes were pointed, telling you he expected you to follow his lead. You undid your buttons with heavy fingers, and allowed him to pull your bottoms all the way off. His grin grew in size and insolence when he saw your panties were soaked through.

“You do want it bad.”

Fucking dipshit.

Before you could think of something smarter to say, he was dragging your underwear to the side and spreading your folds. You certainly weren’t going to think of a comeback now, with his fingers up your cunt and your body begging for his attention. You wouldn’t be this aroused with any other man, but you already knew you suffered from a serious case of tastelessness and dumb. Most grievously, it appeared to be terminal.

Ransom stoked the fires inside you with one hand, pulling it out periodically to smear the wetness across your lower lips while he held himself aloft with the other, his usual lazy, confident smile plastered on his face. It made a sudden wave of lucidity wash over you.

What the fuck were you doing? You knew he wasn’t worth your time since the day you met him; Three days ago he had treated you like shit after you told him you were pregnant; Just a few minutes before you were determined not to get involved with him or men like him ever again. All the signs told you to stop now, push him away and tell him to get out under threat of you calling the police, and yet here you were, panting under him and dying to feel his cock stretching you. The mere promise of dick had you going back on your word like a rat, and all you did was make excuses for yourself. You were always too weak or too dumb to resist your urges, weren’t you? That’s why you never bothered trying.

“Wai-”

The air was forcibly expelled from your lungs when his cock entered you. He wasn’t gentle, and he didn’t have to be; your body was more than ready for him. The grunt that came fro you had an air of finality to it. You weren’t going to stop him now.

The screaming part of you let out one final screech, then withered and died.

Ransom panted, rolling his hips against yours. You held onto his arms and looked up at him. This was unusual. Normally he’d be pounding into you when you were this slick, and unusual with Ransom tended to mean ‘bad’.

He brought two wet fingers to your face and tapped your chin with them.

“Get me clean.”

You parted your lips and accepted the appendages into your mouth. Nothing unusual there; he’d made you taste yourself on his fingers a couple of times. He liked to watch you lick them clean, but this was different. His smile was strained and his eyes looked past you. You turned the full powerful of your best puppy impression on him, but he still seemed to be half-there half-somewhere else.

Once you had slurped all your juices and then some, Ransom moved both his hands to your arms, pressing you against the hard surface of the couch. He should’ve started fucking you already, but he only rocked his pelvis side to side, giving you just a hint of friction, nowhere near enough to satisfy you.

You whined and bucked your hips upwards. That got him out of his trance, his eyes regaining their shine and his smile splitting into a grin. There was that asshole you knew and didn’t love.

“What’s with that face?” He asked and moved one of his hands to your neck, applying pressure, not enough to compromise your breathing but enough to leave you light-headed for a different reason “You want something?”

“Ransom,” you clawed at his forearm like you could do anything if he chose to choke you.

“You gotta ask, baby. If you want daddy to fuck you, you gotta ask.”

Your fingers stilled around his arm. The daddy thing was not new either, but you didn’t think he’d bring it up under the present circumstances. Was this intentional, or was he not even aware of what he was saying? Were you wrong to think it was weird for him to say that now?

The fingers around your throat tightened, closing your airway for a moment, then releasing.

“Ask.”

You squirmed, tapping on his arm, but all that got you was another squeeze.

“Please,” you whimpered “Please, fuck me, daddy.”

Ransom’s grin grew even wider, wide enough that light reflected off his canines. He adjusted his position on his knees, and took his other hand from your arm, reaching behind your head to pull you by the hair, further exposing your neck to him.

“That’s a good girl,” he whispered against the top of your head.

He pulled his cock almost all the way out, then slammed back inside you. He pushed into you with shallow thrusts until he tapped a spot that made you gasp. Having found what he was looking for, Ransom diverted most of his attentions to hitting his target over and over again, periodically stopping to grind against it in a torturous slow pace.

You were too aroused to last much longer, and the bastard would be able to finish you off with little effort.

“You close, baby? You wanna cum?” He asked, and you nodded emphatically “Then you gotta do what daddy says. Can you do that?”

God, you’d do anything he asked of you at this point. Someone needed to tattoo ‘Sucker’ on your forehead already.

“Yes, daddy!” You cried, your words devolving into a high-pitched whine “I’ll do anything, please!”

The hand in your neck slid down across your body and delved in between your legs in search of your clit. You squealed when his fingers made contact, and whimpered when they began rubbing. You were aware of your trembling legs, but unable to do anything about them.

Ransom could always dismantle you with ease, but now more so than ever. You came in record time, with short little moans that culminated in an embarrassing howl. You were just coming down from your high when he picked up his pace, grunting and huffing above you. He gave you no warning before spilling into you, swaying back and forth and groaning as his own orgasm ebbed away. The fact that this was the least concerning thing he’d done all evening didn’t escape you.

He held you to him for a few seconds as both your breaths evened out, then rolled over, leaning against the backrest and lying you down by the outer edge of the couch. Ransom was always more tractable after sex, but he’d go back to being his dismissive self come the morning, and then you’d bitch and moan to yourself. This was a familiar dance you couldn't seem to stop repeating.

You were ready to recommence your self-pitying when Ransom spoke, interrupting the flow of your lamentations.

“I thought about what you said the other day,” he said. The pregnancy? Why would he bring that up now? “and if you want to keep it, I’ll help you.”

A tremor ran through your spine and you lost your precarious balance on the couch, falling to the carpet with a loud thud.

There was laughter – because of course there was – then Ransom was peering down at you. His lips were pressed together, as if he was still fighting to rein in his amusement.

“You… you want to help me?” You asked when you found your voice again.

He nodded. “I do.”

“You want to help me raise a kid?”

“Yeah,” he rolled his eyes “I thought that was obvious the first two times I said it.”

“You don’t like kids.”

“I like to think I would like my kids,” Ransom said, stretching across your couch like a lazy cat.

“Why?” You said, then, realizing that question was more for yourself than it was for him, you rephrased your question “What made you change your mind? Cause you seemed pretty sure when I saw you last.”

“And I was,” he agreed “I never wanted kids, and… And I was pissed,” he chuckled and shook his head “I don’t know who I was pissed at. All I know is I couldn't think straight. When I saw the pregnancy test… I don’t know, I could see my entire life crumbling.”

You could’ve asked him ‘what life?’ but decided against it.

“So, cut to a few days later, and I had this… Clarity. I realized there was nothing I could do if you wanted to keep it, and maybe,” he paused to take a deep breath “maybe I should take responsibility.”

You sat up and made a point of frowning at him. “Seriously, what happened?”

“I told you already. Just… boom – clarity.”

You knew Ransom was sharper than a first impression would lead one to believe, but self-awareness was not his forte. Could he have had a change of heart in such a short period of time? Did you believe him? You wanted to believe him.

“Do you seriously want to raise a kid with me?”

He laughed and threw his hands up in the air “How many times do I gotta say it?”

“Do you even know what that entails?”

“Hey, I babysat my cousins a couple times,” he said, picking at the foam peeking through a hole in the upholstery of your couch “I bet I’d do better than you.”

Being a parent had to be harder than watching children for a few hours, but as far as experience with children went… well, maybe he was onto something.

A palm emerged in front of you, rousing you from your thoughts.

“Truce?” Ransom asked. There was something about the way he looked at you gave you hope.

Earnest, he looked earnest.

You took his hand in yours and shook once.

“Truce.”

Part 2: I Came Out to Have a Good Time and I’m Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now

#ransom drysdale x reader #ransom thrombey x reader #ransom drysdale fanfiction #ransom drysdale fic #ransom thrombrey #ransom drysdale #knives out fanfic #none stopped me #TREASON MOST FOUL #one of the chapters will be titled 'Harlan Shake' and y'all will have deserved it #i almost named this chapter 'Fucking Dipshit' too #mine #(Un)Conditional

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anitacoknow · 4 years ago

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I'm feeling my emotions pretty hard today (June 14th, 2021), so it might be a good idea to start writing.

Trigger Warning:

This text post mentions suicide, death, abortion, and could be an uneasy read.

About two months ago, I almost died during a routine abortion. The way that sounds, my stomach turns and it makes the tears fall like a monsoon. Nothing about getting an abortion is easy, it is humiliating and it's a huge personal hurdle to deal with - my heart goes out to any woman who has been in that tough position. That being said, I'm not writing this for sympathy nor am I looking for negative comments or death threats, I put myself through that enough already with my own mental.

Starting this attempt to release my emotions is difficult because I'm not even sure what to say to myself. I guess I am also hopeful someone will have the right words through experience or just in general because I'm struggling to find the words within myself.

To begin, I can't have children anymore and that is the worst part; I made a decision that took future decisions, future generations, future plans away from me. So, to anyone who wanted to go in on me at the sight of the word abortion: fate ironically beat you to the punch.

I made a decision that my heart wasn't wholly in and it almost cost me my life and it cost my daughter's life (I don't need scientific fact proving she was just a clump of cells and hadn't begun processing pain or emotion or whatever, doesn't change shit as far as empathy goes, so please shove it).

Her birth name was to be Juniper.

To give some insight, Washington State allows abortions up to 28 weeks. For those who aren't aware of pregnancy cycles/trimesters, 28 weeks is still half way through the pregnancy and the beginning of the second trimester. The fetus during this stage has become more human like and all that science stuff. I had my abortion at 21 weeks, in a clinic and the process shouldn't have gone the way it did.

On the second day of my procedure, I was put under anesthesia and when I woke up I wasn't all there. Before this, I had never experienced being put under anesthesia to my recollection, so what I thought I was feeling was normal. It wasn't until I realized I had been losing conciousness that things started to feel unnatural. I was laid on the floor of the "recovery room" and I started to regain conciousness fast. There was a lot of blood between my legs and mentioning it to them seemed to make the blood pool more. It wasn't long after that the doctor that performed the procedure squated next to me to tell me she needed to put me back under.

For the next bit, I apologize to the squeamish.

There was another woman in the room with me who had just come out of her own anesthesia, she was ironically a CNA, who started to show signs of worry when I wasn't making the anticipated recovery. The doctor had her removed from the room and leaned back in to tell me that they couldn't locate the fetal head and a few limbs. When they attempted to have me walk back to the room, I fainted and was placed back on the floor. The nurses wheeled me into the surgical room and helped me back on to the table, to which I protested them allowing me to see my ride. I'm hesitant to mention the father in this because it is sensitive, so I apologize for how he is mentioned in further comments. It wasn't until I saw him that things started to blur and I started losing conciousness again.

I feel it is also important to explain what I felt, which was extremely cold. My nipples were harder than they had ever been and despite the numerous blankets, warmed and otherwise, that were placed on me, my body didn't feel warmth until the EMTs carted me to the ambulance and the sun touched me; and again when I was placed on the surgical table at the hospital. Mentally, I don't think I was aware of anything bad happening to my body. Even after hearing they lost the fetal head, I don't think I ever reacted. If I had to say, I was mentally blissful - which isn't something I have ever experienced. I literally couldn't care less, everything was a joke (which is also part of my personality when dealing with assumed stressful situations) to me up until I arrived at the ER and they put me under before telling me that they might have to remove my whole uterus. My last words would have been: "oh, this table is so warm!" to the doctor who saved my life. When I woke up 24 hours later, there was a tube in my throat and I was tied to the bed (which Hollywood doesn't show in movies or T.V. so when you are experiencing it, it is really scary and it fucking hurts.) in ICU.

So, what the fuck happened?

Well, my uterus at the time of the abortion was about 2 pounds heavy and 2 feet long; Juniper was about the size of a sweet potato to give you an image. During the abortion, the doctor perforated my uterus, the length of the tear was about a foot long according to my surgeon/aftercare doctor. The abortion itself was supposedly no more than 10 minutes, but I was apparently under for roughly an hour. My ride expected me out in two hours, but after speaking to him, started to worry when I hadn't responded to texts and the elapsed time came to four hours. During the removal of the fetus, after perforation had occurred, I laid there internally bleeding for several hours. The human body can hold minimum 5 litres of blood (or to give you an physical idea, a gallon [US] of milk about) depending on the size of the body and health. A human can die from losing 2 litres of blood, but I survived after losing 4 litres internally, which is probably what saved my life. I vaguely remember being lifted on to the gurney and I vaguely remember the ride to the ER. I was given 7 units of blood, my uterus was stitched in 8 layers and the fetal head had nestled itself behind my kidney, so I had an emergency cesarean, plus a JP drain placed to remove all the blood that pooled in my abdomen.

The hospital experience itself is a different story and makes the whole ordeal just as sad. The only solace I had were two nurses that really didn't judge me, outside of that, everyone there had an opinion and wore it on their face and in their treatment. My last interaction with one of the doctors who helped performed my "miraculous" surgery and was probably the most surprising bit because it included a little racism. My partner is white and he is cisgender. Before his appearance, said doctor largely made fun of my pain tolerance when removing surgical tape from my incision area and inner thighs. If you haven't had a cesarean or don't know exactly what it is, after making the initial incision, the doctors have to literally tear the muscles apart to get to your uterus. In my case, I also had to have my intestines removed to get to my kidneys. Needless to say, my midsection was very sensitive outside of my low pain threshold. During the stint, he very angrily asked me if I wanted to remove the bandage myself while showing his frustration in his whole body and face. At that point, I just said fuck it and let him tear the bandage from my body with a little skin along with it. After a quick look, he stood up and asked if I cared if he left to deliver a baby and he didn't wait for a response, I assume because my face probably said exactly what he wanted. I sat there and cried until my partner got there and when he showed face again, his bedside manner gave me whiplash. He released us after I made a large fuss about my care and I left holding back tears until we were out of sight of the hospital.

The day before I almost died, I sat with the owner of the clinic who also doubles as a nurse there, and cried to her about my fear and the little consolation I had because she was kind. I have had two previous abortions during a previous marriage that I also didn't want to have, but being in an abusive relationship, you give and take a lot, that included. I confided in her that those two experiences, both at Planned Parenthood, were riddled in racist bedside manner and left me uneasy about abortions and clinics in general. Being a woman of color herself, she cried with me and assured me that things would be fine, in fact the woman doing my abortion would also be a woman of color. She called me two days later, I could hear her sadness, but it also left me in such a state of panic that I ended the conversation without saying much.

Women of color do not have great mortality rates when it comes to medical intervention, especially during pregnancies/child birth. However, uterus perforation during an abortion only occurs at a rate of .3%, so I'm part of a medical anomaly (it isn't an anomaly at all, she just fucked up). Beyond that, women of color, specifically black women are more likely to suffer from medical racism during aftercare. One of the biggest glaring problems being that black women are percieved to have a high pain threshold, something a lot of people lack.

Since this experience, which is missing a lot of detail, I've gone in an out of depressive mania. Which, to say the least, I can handle because I've dealt with it for years. What I can't handle are commercials, or even cherub faces in person, or the fact that my step-sister announced her pregnancy to our parents on mother's day. I can't handle the notifications of memories from my pictures that spotlight some of the photos I took during my pregnancy. I can't handle that my neighbors had just moved in and had just given birth right before being released from the hospital. Movie montages about children growing up making lumps swell in my throat. For the first few weeks I would wake up screaming, or crying, or begging whoever not to take my baby from me. I tried to cope with sex that I couldn't realistically have because I was healing. I took up smoking cigarettes again because it is the only thing I could physically feel relax my incision area. My daughter, who is 9 years old, asks me how I'm doing when I don't realize I'm zoned out and crying.

Overall, I wish they would have let me die. It isn't like I haven't tried to kill myself before and I always secretly hoped I'd find a way to just go peacefully. Of all my attempts at suicide, the most serious was drinking bleach and all I got from that was minor chemical burn in my esophagus.

Sitting there during my last follow up, knowing damn well I wasn't going to get good news, I asked the doctor who saved my uterus and life if I could safely get pregnant. I was told by another I could have a child, but it would most likely be harrowing because my uterus wouldn't be able to house a full term fetus and they would most like be born premature. There was also another possibility she kept from me, which my doctor with a penchant for being very frank said: "would end up taking my uterus or almost killing me."

Word for word: if I get pregnant, my uterus would rupture at the healed incision.

And what, what am I supposed to think or feel now that my worst fear finally materialized? I'm realistically mad at myself for materializing my greatest fear. I also hate myself for being so upset at something I caused because I know others are in my situation for reasons beyond their control.

I thought writing this would make me feel better, would make it so I wouldn't have to mentally relive it, but I just feel worse. My partner lost his job because he took a leave of absence to take care of me and that's to say nothing of him taking time off at the beginning of the year because he needed brain surgery. The job I had interviewed for earlier in the week kept my position open, but on returning to work found I couldn't keep my anxiety to a minimum and eventually asked for leave of absence. So now, we are struggling financially and I blame myself for that too, which I know I shouldn't.

I can't begin to explain how unsure and confused I feel every day. Some times I find myself pacing or walking around and I don't even know what I'm doing. Hearing or seeing emergency vehicles makes me panic. I've had to force myself to look down during driving because I'm so fucking scared.

Idk, I'm sorry to whoever is reading this. I just needed to vent.

#mentally drained #near death experience #abortion #black lives matter #selflove #mental dump #creative release #writing therapy #mental heath support #mental wellbeing #talking to myself #talking it out

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slashingdisneypasta · 4 years ago

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Oswald Cobblepot / Penguin x Reader || Oneshot

Title: I’m Only 20 Years Old!

Notes:

Oz is 34 in this. He’s a lil bit of a sugar Daddy in, too, haha. Flexin’ that purse of his.

Plot: You had moment, a prolonged moment in fact seeing as he was apparently pretty darn sweet on you, with an older man -not just any older man. The Penguin, - and now you were in a… sticky situation. He finds you on the floor of your little apartment’s littler bathroom with a positive pregnancy test sitting on your knees, freaking out. You’re only 20 years old!!

Warnings: Pregnancy, panic attack, early parenthood, age difference (14 years)

~~~

After Oz spends the good part of half an hour knocking on your apartment door and waiting patiently, politely, for you to answer, he has one of the two men he was travelling with break it open. If you were hurt or passed out on the inside, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he had left you without checking. He’s been spurned by the loss of loved ones before.

As soon as he’s inside, he nearly doubles back and leaves immediately when he realises you aren’t a loved one yet… or you shouldn’t be… you haven’t known each other for that long, really! Surely, he isn’t so attached to you yet… he should know better.

But when it occurs to him that you aren’t around, asking him what the hell he’s just done to your door like he would expect, any understand honestly, he forgets about that starts to feel suspicious, and worried. Knitting his eyebrows together, he looks around the room slowly, searching for anything that looks like it might be out of place. Of course, he hasn’t been in here many times-only once, in fact, -, but he of all people knows what a struggle leaves in its wake.

You should, be here. You said you would be, you said you would call him. He’s only here because a visit will always make him happier than a phone call- so, where are you? “… Y/N?”

When there’s no response from anywhere in the apartment, Oz nods to his two goons to take a look around and starts walking around on his own with his cane.

He finds you before the others.

“Y/N??” You look so slack on the floor, sitting against the cabinets under the sink with your knees pulled up to your chest. You’re looking at something you have pressed to your knees that he can’t see. Oz raises an eyebrow. “What are you doing on the floor?”

God knows when you got this floor cleaned last.

You take a deep breath, but you look anything but scared. A little mad, actually. Oz wonder’s how your day has been? “Oz, I want you to know that you are the only person I’ve had sex with in the past two months.”

Okay, now he’s worried. Rolling his shoulder uncomfortably, he lets an awkward grin pass momentarily over his teeth, corners of his mouth dipping up wonkily. “Ha… okay, Y/N. Good to know. Uh… Why do you say?”

“Because I’m having a baby.”

“Having a… having… “You look up from what Oz can now assume is a pregnancy test, to see your… something - one-time bed partner who you’re now, possibly, dating? - minorly - majorly, - freaking out. Those pretty baby blues of his have gone from concerned and confused to horrified and confused in a split second, eyebrows furrowed. “Are you saying… that that is my… we’re having… “Eventually, he stops his gawking with his mouth wide open, closes his mouth firmly and looks away from you. Adjusting his collar with one hand, he rolls his shoulders again. A nervous habit of his, apparently.

You wonder momentarily if your baby will have that.

“You’re saying,” He starts again, reiterating for the sake of making sure. “That we’re pregnant?”

Theirs nothing warm or flirty, what you’ve learnt to expect from Oswald Cobblepot, about his words or his face in this moment, and it just makes you even more anxious. You knew about his more temperamental side. Granted, you have not met it, but of course you’ve heard of it. Everyone knows of the Penguin in Gotham.

You answer him by offering him the stick. You say “Yes.”.

“That’s fine.” He disses the stick, before looking to the side, to your little shower and the room is silent for a moment. You let your head lean back in the cabinet door, thinking about how totally screwed you are. It surprises you, when Oz turns back to look at you and his voice rings with honesty when he asks “Are you okay?”.

Tears immediately blur your vision, now that you aren’t worrying that he’ll get pissed at you as much. Hiding your face in your hands, you take a deep watery breath and sniff. “No… “

Clearly, you’re freaking out. Behind your hands, are tears escaping the brims of your eyes and soaking your pink cheeks, and your shoulders shake. Oz looks completely frantic for a moment, looking around for his guys who have conveniently disappeared. Crying?? Crying?? Ew, what do I do?! Oz doesn’t even like crying when its him, crying!

After a moment, Oz pulls himself together and squares his shoulders. Well, I have to do something! Get it together, Oswald.

Taking a deep breath so his chest swells, for courage, he walks over to you and, using his cane, he slowly crouches down beside you, then collapses on his ass. “Fucking- “Quickly, he courses corrects, cutting himself off with thin lips and humming instead, and turns to you, setting his cane down by his outstretched legs. “Y/N, sweetheart, my thousand-dollar suit is touching the repulsive bathroom floor; Please look at me.”

For a single moment you try to pull yourself together and do as he asked, because a thousand dollars oh fucking Christ, but its evident you are not coming together right now and end up just stubbornly shaking your head. He can’t see you with swollen eyes and ugly, crying frowny mouth. The relationship is new!

… If there is even a relationship anymore…

Oh Jesus, that hasn’t even occurred to you. You kind of have other things to stress about then your budding relationship with the crime king.

Oswald huffs, beside you. But accepts your response. “Okay, fine. Y/N, I promise I’ll take care of you. This… “He seems to have trouble coming up with the word ‘baby’, which just hurts you more. “Infant; There I go. I can do this! The infant will hinder your schooling as little as possible. I assure you. I-if you want an abortion, or-or to give it up for adoption, or whatever, it’ll be done. I’ll even pay your college fees- No, I’ll buy the damn place if we have to do that. It’ll be fine. You will get your credentials- I’ll make sure of it.”

Sniffing, you wipe your face and put your head back on the cabinet, uncovering your face. Still, you look up at the ceiling rather than at Oswald’s face. “That’s well and good, Oz, but… Okay, my age is one thing, here. School, is another. Sure, those two are terrifying on a normal day, but… But the biggest scary thing, here?” You chew on your bottom lip for a moment, feeling icy blues watching the side of your face. Taking a risk, you turn to him with a severe, and scared look on your face. “The target, that’s on my, and by extension this baby’s, forehead now.”

Oswald’s face quickly transforms from one of pure worry, to utter horror. You’re right! That hadn’t occurred to him. That, by being pregnant with his child… any number of filthy criminals will want your head. Or as a hostage, to use against him…

“We-we’ll have to fake your death!”

Surprisingly, that sudden little, assertive outburst makes a short laugh come out of you. You turn away from him and pat his shoulder. “Oz.” Come on; Be serious.

“I’m not kidding! We’ll have to- Ed. He’s still out to get me. Maybe we can frame him! Its just a simple matter of getting durable enough materials to make you a safe room, for when we bomb the building- He’s always been so theatrical. Let’s see… “Listening to Oswald come up with your fantastical fake death, you rub your already red eyes and think yourself. How are you going to do this…?

One thing is for sure; You aren’t faking your death. No matter how great a plan Oz comes up with. You have family, here, and you would give your grandma a heart attack!!

Taking a deep breath through your nose, you collect Oz’s arm into your chest. Just a little comfort. Whether he wants to be with you anymore or not, you need him. He’s going to be the father of your child, if you decide to have it, and that means you will always be a part of each other’s lives. Its you and him forever, now. You need him, even for just some comfort right now.

He stops talking, and looks at you. You look back for a moment, forcing a little smile to say you’ll be alright. A few moments pass, and his face softens again. “Come on, Y/N. You need your rest; Lets go to bed. No one knows yet except those goons I brought with me… and I’ll take care of them while you get yourself ready for bed.” He leans over and presses a gentle kiss on your forehead, making you forget the quick, dark look that took over his fairy features when he said he would ‘take care’ of the guys in your apartment.

“Will you stay with me?” You don’t know if you could sleep without him tonight. Oz, getting his crane in place so he can use it to anchor himself up, turns to you and pastes a definite smile on his lips.

“Always, love.”

#Oswald Cobblepot x Reader Oneshot #Oswald Cobblepot #Oneshot

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angstew · 3 years ago

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Heart vs. Head vs. Me

I’m writing this because I feel like I am in one of the toughest spots of my life. As many decisions & choices as I’ve made in my life, none of them have ever weighed so heavily on my heart & on my mind. I had my son Oliver 13 months ago, with 2 months sober, living in a recovery house. We very quickly had to find an apartment, and learn how to be parents. Fortunately for us, we have been able to do that fairly well. I have 2 years sober, a beautiful son, a beautiful life. I knew after having my son, that I wanted to have more children, but hadn’t exactly planned it so soon. About a month ago, I found out I was pregnant again. I loved being pregnant, I loved growing a little person & feeling him moving around. The end of it & the birth was insane, but the rest of it was incredible. If I come back to reality though, we are in no way ready for another child. COVID is still alive & well, so we haven’t been back to work yet. We were incredibly fortunate to be getting unemployment, and managing to live off of it. However, that has now ended. My fiance is looking for work, but I have been struggling with severe separation anxiety so leaving my son doesn’t feel like an option yet. I also feel like it’s cheating on my son. If I have another baby he goes on the back burner. The new baby gets all the attention, all the new stuff. I have spent so much time reading about having 2 children under 2 & TONS of people say their kids are close, that it was the best thing that happened to them, but it’s different when it’s your family. I want to think that’s true, but what if it doesn’t go that way? What if my son doesn’t adapt? What if he doesn’t enjoy being a big brother already? Doesn’t he deserve to be the only one for a while? Get all mommy & daddy’s attention? Be the center of our universe? But am I keeping him from being close to a sibling? What if he loves it? They’d be close enough in age to virtually do everything together. My mind is always on a swivel, going from one side to the other. I put him to bed & look at him and think there is no way I can do this again right now...and then I feel the cramps & the nausea & think “How can I go through with termination?” I truly don’t know if I can physically, emotionally & mentally handle going through with an abortion. I have always been very pro-choice, but now that I have the choice it’s not an easy one to make. How do I look at my son, and then terminate this pregnancy. I knew when I was pregnant the first time, that I was having him, so why is it so much harder this time? Financially, we’re not any better or worse off than before. We’re actually probably BETTER equipped this time, having a house, and more time sober. I somewhat know how to take care of a baby at this point (I didn’t even know how to change a diaper or hold a baby before)

I have looked into medical abortions, read women’s experiences, and have tried to get as much information as I can. I read as much as I can about second pregnancies, raising 2 toddlers, giving birth again. None of it helps me make a clear decision. None of it helps my heart & my head match up. None of it makes me feel like I can either raise another baby or terminate one. I feel like I won’t be able to get over doing that. Mentally & emotionally, I worry it will push me over the edge. I read about women who KNEW it was the right choice, and I commend them on that. I want to reach that point, one way or the other. I struggle so much with this & I am both angry & ashamed that I put myself in this position. That I believed I wasn’t capable of getting pregnant again so quickly. I thought the first pregnancy was a fluke, early sobriety + sex = unplanned pregnancy. I sure as shit didn’t think it would happen twice in 2 years. Yet, here I am. I’ve even made the initial phone call at Planned Parenthood & then completely forgot to call in at the time. (where I live, before an abortion, you’re required to call a number & listen to a Dr. speak about the procedure & whatever else) Every time I think I’ve made up my mind, I get a sliver of doubt, a push in the other direction. I know I don’t have much longer to make a decision, which only makes it that much more difficult.

I know I have spent the entire time rambling, and if anyone’s read this far, I apologize for that. I’m not sure where to go from here, or how to even make a decision at this point. The love I feel for my fiance & my son is like nothing else in the world. It is truly indescribable. I know I want to expand our family & grow old together. But am I ready to do the expansion today? Or I guess 9 months from today...I don’t know. What do you do when your brain & your heart just won’t agree? When they both go back & forth constantly and won’t stop racing? This is truly one of the most difficult points I’ve ever been at in my life, and I spent a decade as a raging addict...I wish I had the answer, but I guess for now I’ll just write about my indecisiveness instead.

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mocnliights · 4 years ago

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hello i resisted for as long as i could but have finally picked up a second muse

* adeline rudolph, cis woman + she/her | you know rosemary koo, right? they’re twenty-three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, their whole life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to breathin by ariana grande like, a million times this year, which makes sense, ‘cause they’ve got that whole bright smile for strangers and close friends alike, town spirit that can only be held by a former cheerleading captain, and naive dependence on parents thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is september 25th, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( kit, 25, est, she/her )

THE BASICS .

full name : rosemary minji koo . etymology : rosemary ( latin / dew of the sea ) , minji ( korean / sharp intellect ) nickname(s) : rosie or rose ( what most people call her ) , minji ( not exactly a nickname ; it’s her korean name so her dad’s side of the family calls her minji ) birthday & birth place : september 25, 1997 & irving , north carolina sexual orientation : heterosexual/romantic hometown : irving , north carolina current residence : finally out of her parents’ and living at port apartments occupation : intern at her parents’ law firm , weekend shifts at the local flower shop education : bachelor’s from unc in political science positive personality traits : easygoing , generous , cooperative , sociable , bubbly , exuberant , empathetic negative personality traits : dependent , cowardly , sheltered , cautious , spoiled

THE SUMMARY .

tl;dr : could be called irving’s golden girl , idk you tell me . everything has always come easy for rosie --- her grades , money , friends , popularity . saying she’s had a comfortable life is putting it very mildly . as long as she met her parents’ expectations and pursued law to follow in their footsteps , she was content . she had , what most people would perceive , as the perfect life from the outside looking in , which is exactly what her parents wanted . she’s much too dependent on her parents’ income and shelter for a twenty-three-year-old , and she’s only now starting to think she has to get out from under their roof after recent bombshells in their family .

think rich , spoiled naïveté minus the high school bitchiness of rachel green combined with the beloved small town girl of rory gilmore and you’ve got rosie .

THE EXPANDED BULLETS .

the koos ( and i am just now realizing both my muses’ surnames start with k , this was not on purpose dajskdl ) have been in irving for generations . they’re a staple of the town , have always had a pristine reputation , and expect nothing less from future generations

while some relatives ~ could not be tamed ~ and rebelled , rosie never minded . she loved irving and was happy to do what she had to do to meet her parents’ expectations

an only child in a well-off family , nothing seemed off limits , even if she didn’t ask . when she went through a horseback riding phase , she didn’t need to ask twice for her parents to take turns driving her out to nearby stables to train . when she wanted to take up flute instead of piano , which she’d received classically training for since she was three , her parents obliged ( but in addition to her piano lessons ) . when she wanted to give gymnastics a try , she barely mentioned it at dinner before her mom was calling around to find the best gym in their vicinity . you get the picture

not just at home , but everything just always seemed to fall into place for rosemary . she got good grades without having to study too hard , she was named cheerleading captain in high school unanimously , people generally seemed to like her and vice versa . and as long as she stayed out of too much trouble , her parents weren’t as overbearing as people might assume

maybe that was why she was okay with doing as she was told . her parents let her be for the most part , as long as she committed to studying law or politics in college to follow in their footsteps

pregnancy tw : all was good and well until she realized she was late one day in her junior year . she’d just recently lost her virginity to her high school boyfriend , a decision she hadn’t made lightly given her parents’ religious views and how they’d raised her . and now she was pregnant with a whole future ahead of her that didn’t include a teen pregnancy

abortion tw : unknown to everyone except the good people at planned parenthood and her mom bc she was a minor , rosie did the only thing she thought was viable at the time for her reputation , her family , her relationship with her parents , and just about everything . she made an appointment , went through the meetings under the harsh lights , and terminated the pregnancy as quickly as she could

senior year went ahead as planned , prom queen and her secret buried deep

she stayed in state and attended unc , majoring in political science for her parents despite not having any real interest in law , before returning home after graduation

without a real plan , she moved back in with her parents . she didn’t mind at first when she didn’t have to pay rent and they still took care of her laundry for her . and as expected , she started an internship at her parents’ law firm without any complaints

what rosie didn’t realize was that while she was away at school , her parents’ marriage had started to crumble . they were able to put on a front and make it all seem good and well for her when she was home from school , and for the town the rest of the year , but the truth was they were sleeping in separate bedrooms and they barely got through a conversation that didn’t end in a screaming match

they had shielded rosie from the truth , that her mom had been unfaithful . multiple affairs at different points in the relationship , using business trips as facades for a weekend getaway with her latest infidelity . it wasn’t consistent , but there were enough breadcrumbs that her dad pulled at a thread and the truth came out

while her dad was able to stay together and act like everything was still the picture perfect , wholesome , white picket fence family that the koos portrayed to the rest of irving , rosie couldn’t take it . she stayed at home long enough to save up enough money to finally move out and try this life thing on her own

she still isn’t sure how to quit the law internship , how to fully take control of her own life , but she’s trying and making small baby steps . she’s working on her relationship with her parents , especially her mom , but they are certainly tense and she isn’t feeling the best about things atm

#irvingintro #pregnancy tw #abortion tw #i caved #i typed and then hit post so ...... ...... ........ i'm sorry #𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐤𝐨𝐨 ♡ ━━ about .#cheating tw

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disembodiedapparition · 4 years ago

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Breaking The Pro-Life Argument Down:

I think it’s hilarious how right wing “facts don’t care about your feelings” activists are almost always pro-life. The argument against abortion as an accessible form of birth control is 100% an emotional appeal, and here’s why:

1. “You have no right to kill your fetus. It’s not your body, the baby is an individual and has the right to life.”:

Of course, all embryos are human individuals, separate from their mothers. They have their own unique DNA composition, and are definitely alive. But do they deserve the right to life, which would make abortion equivalent to murder?

Pro-lifers are largely okay with IVF, an industry that throws away and destroys millions of fertilized embryos every day. In-vitro fertilization is an uncertain science, so couples are advised to fertilize multiple eggs in the labs in case the first few don’t work out. If a couple succeeds and have extra embryos left, they have the option to continue paying to store them in the lab, donate them to medical research, or destroy them.

Anti-abortion bills always have exceptions for IVF clinics. Republican, pro-life lawmakers have literally had children via IVF. If a pro-lifer ever tells you that life begins at conception and that every embryo has the right to life, know that it’s bullshit. They don’t care about an industry that kills more embryos in a day than Planned Parenthood does in a year.

2. There are two possible responses to this.

A) “Fine, let’s ban IVF.” Out of all the conservative groups in America, only one major group explicitly stands against IVF – the Catholic Church. The same organization that condemns sex before marriage, homosexuality, divorce, masturbation/porn, the use of condoms, getting drunk or high, and tattoos. At this point, I’m assuming you understand that the Church’s ideas of morality are regressive, illogical, primitive, and… make life extremely boring. IVF is a wonderful science that brings children to parents who want them all over the world and is in no way a bad thing.

B) “Fine. Maybe not at conception, but at [x] months, it’s a baby.” This is the point where most conservatives start arguing about the point up till you should be allowed to have an abortion. Two weeks? Six weeks? Three months? Unfortunately, there is no scientific way to determine when an embryo is no longer just a clump of cells and now a human being with rights.

Since pro-lifers are okay with IVF, we can assume they don’t believe in the right to life at conception. How about the heartbeat theory? At six weeks, the fetus develops a heartbeat, and proponents argue that it is the point at which the fetus is no longer simply a fetus, but a human being. However, having a heartbeat doesn’t necessarily mean you have the right to life.

Legally, if you are brain dead, you’re… dead. You no longer have the right to life, which is why organ donation is possible. All this while having a heartbeat, so that’s clearly not a viable hallmark of an individual that inherently has the right to life. So while it’s true that at six weeks a baby develops (what is flimsily termed as) a heartbeat, that doesn’t somehow give it rights to life that it did not have before. So far, I haven’t come across any other sensible theories as to “when” an embryo deserves the right to life. It’s a lousy concept to begin with, as blurry as the legal definition of adulthood – not all 18+ year olds are mature and nothing fundamentally changes in a person once the clock strikes midnight. Similarly, embryo development is a process. There’s really no point at which you can logically claim it’s transformed into a human being with rights.

3. Evidently, there are two extremes — life begins at conception, vs life doesn’t begin until birth.

There’s no “scientific backing” for a point in between, but you’ll never find a pro-choice advocate arguing in favor of the latter, because it’s called an extreme for a reason. The best way to deal with the abortion issue at this point is to leave the science and technicalities alone, and think about the people who are actually getting abortions.

4. “Use protection and you won’t get pregnant”:

Protection is never 100% reliable. Plus: if two people are irresponsible enough to have unprotected sex, what makes you think they’re responsible enough to have and raise children? The number of children growing up with unqualified, immature, abusive, or neglectful parents automatically disproves the theory that parenthood beings about a sense of personal responsibility. Being raised by bad parents inflicts often irreparable damage on children. Treating babies as some sort of “divine punishment” for irresponsible sex, instead of human beings who deserve a stable upbringing, is harmful on both an individual and collective scale. The data on irresponsible, neglectful, or abusive childhoods/single parent childhoods speaks for itself. In the quest to punish irresponsible parents, most of the damage is inflicted on their children, which in turn impacts the generation that will lead us forward into the future. It is in our best interests to raise as many mature, healthy, and productive young adults as possible, and while not every child born into these circumstances live lives of mental health/psychological/intimacy issues and criminal behavior, a large majority do. Growing up with bad parents is simply not ideal for an impressionable child’s wellbeing. Quality of life > quantity of life.

5. “Don’t have sex if you don’t want to have children.”:

Unhelpful, unrealistic, and telling of no real desire to solve the problem at hand. People will have sex. What are we going to do to make sure the sex doesn’t lead to unplanned pregnancies?

6. “Okay but what about xyz who had an abortion and has regretted it ever since?”:

Abortion is a result of unplanned and unfortunate circumstances. Whether it’s because the doctor tells you your baby will be stillborn or born with a fatal illness, or if you were raped, or if you had sex with your boyfriend during your first year of college and found yourself pregnant: these are bad situations, and no matter what you do, there’s always a chance you’ll look back and wish you’d done things differently. Kept the baby? Well, maybe you’ll find that the baby brought newfound purpose to your life. But maybe the baby added an additional financial strain to your life and forced you to quit your job, leaving you destitute and homeless with no way to feed it. Alternatively, if you got an abortion, maybe you end up being able to finish college and fulfil all your goals… or maybe you regret that decision for the rest of your life. There’s no way to guarantee that you’re making the right decision, but being informed about your options, and having options available, makes it more likely that you do. That’s why we are advocating for informed choice. Whether they eventually choose to keep the baby or have an abortion, give women the time and resources to truly evaluate their options and do what’s best for them in their own circumstances.

7. “Why kill the baby? Put it up for adoption.”:

The adoption system is known for being isolating, exploitative, and unhealthy for children growing up in it. Being adopted into a great family can create healthy, happy young adults. But far too many kids don’t get that opportunity, and pay the price for it. In 2019, 122,216 children in the US adoption system were waiting to be adopted. Young people who age-out of the foster care system without being adopted are over-represented in rates of incarceration, suicide and substance abuse.

Granted, for some kids it’s a better alternative to the families they would have grew up in, but again: it’s an unideal situation. An unideal situation that can very easily be avoided with abortion. Why would a person choose 9 months of labor, plus all the emotional labor of having to give your child away to a system that more likely than not will eat them alive, knowing they will grow up asking themselves why they weren’t good enough for their birth parents, when the person could… simply not have that baby and not invite all that pain?

To summarize:

It is definitively not in anyone’s best interests to force unwilling and unprepared parents to have an unwanted child. It’s also not a good idea to get too deep into the technicalities of when an embryo is a fetus or when you’re allowed or not allowed to abort it. We need to focus on the women who are actually getting abortions. Having a baby is a huge life adjustment. Keep it, and you’re taking on an 18-year responsibility. You are responsible for another person’s wellbeing, and your life will never be the same.

In three months (about 12 weeks), a potential mother can: find out that they’re pregnant (missing periods is extremely common. A lot of women only find out they’re pregnant at two months, or 8 weeks), think about their financial, professional, social, romantic, or whatever situation and figure out what would be the best course of action, and then actually get the abortion if she chooses to. 12 weeks is enough, 12 weeks is reasonable, 12 weeks is humane. Nobody wants third-trimester abortions unless there are serious, life threatening complications.

The pro-life argument is reduced down to: well, abortion is bad! That’s a little innocent baby. It didn’t hurt anyone. Well, we agree: abortion is bad. It’s not a good thing, it’s not something people want to have to do. Nobody looks forward to giving or receiving an abortion, it’s physically painful and often heart-breaking. But is it as bad as forcing a woman to go through nine months of excruciating, potentially life-threatening labor for a child she doesn’t even want to have? Is it as bad as enforcing serious health, financial, emotional, social, and professional risks on a woman who knows she is in no way ready to give a baby the life it deserves? Is it worse than having to wake up every day with a heavy pit in your stomach because you can’t feed your little girl since you had to drop out of high school to take care of her? Worse than having to give your baby away to an adoption center, where they’re likely to join the hundreds of thousands of unadopted children? There are evils, and then there are greater evils. Abortion may not be ideal, but for some people, it’s the best option out there. When broken down, the pro-life argument is nothing but sad, provocative videos & descriptions of surgical abortions intended to pull at your heartstrings. But they’re sometimes the best option for the mother and her unborn baby. Nobody is pro-abortion — we’re pro-choice.

#prolife #pro choice #pro life #abortion #reproductive rights #opinion #analysis #adoption #parenting #politics #republicans #liberal #conservatives

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addictivegerard · 4 years ago

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why the prolife argument makes no sense

1. “You have no right to kill your fetus. It’s not your body, the baby is an individual and has the right to life.”:

2. There are two possible responses to this.

Legally, if you are brain dead, you’re… dead. You no longer have the right to life, which is why organ donation is possible. All this while having a heartbeat, so that’s clearly not a viable hallmark of an individual that inherently has the right to life. So while it's true that at six weeks a baby develops (what is flimsily termed as) a heartbeat, that doesn't somehow give it rights to life that it did not have before. So far, I haven’t come across any other sensible theories as to “when” an embryo deserves the right to life. It’s a lousy concept to begin with, as blurry as the legal definition of adulthood – not all 18+ year olds are mature and nothing fundamentally changes in a person once the clock strikes midnight. Similarly, embryo development is a process. There’s really no point at which you can logically claim it’s transformed into a human being with rights.

3. Evidently, there are two extremes — life begins at conception, vs life doesn’t begin until birth.

4. “Use protection and you won’t get pregnant”:

Protection is never 100% reliable. Plus: if two people are irresponsible enough to have unprotected sex, what makes you think they’re responsible enough to have and raise children? The number of children growing up with unqualified, immature, abusive, or neglectful parents automatically disproves the theory that parenthood brings about a sense of personal responsibility. Being raised by bad parents inflicts often irreparable damage on children. Treating babies as some sort of “divine punishment” for irresponsible sex, instead of human beings who deserve a stable upbringing, is harmful on both an individual and collective scale. The data on irresponsible, neglectful, or abusive childhoods/single parent childhoods speaks for itself. In the quest to punish irresponsible parents, most of the damage is inflicted on their children, which in turn impacts the generation that will lead us forward into the future. It is in our best interests to raise as many mature, healthy, and productive young adults as possible, and while not every child born into these circumstances live lives of mental health/psychological/intimacy issues and criminal behavior, a large majority do. Growing up with bad parents is simply not ideal for an impressionable child’s wellbeing. Quality of life > quantity of life.

5. “Don’t have sex if you don’t want to have children.”:

Unhelpful, unrealistic, and telling of no real desire to solve the problem at hand. Telling people not to have sex unless they deliberately intend to have children is like telling people not to smoke, drink too much, or eat unhealthily. People will have sex. What are we going to do to make sure the sex doesn’t lead to unplanned pregnancies?

6. “Okay but what about xyz who had an abortion and has regretted it ever since?”:

Abortion is a result of unplanned and unfortunate circumstances. Whether it’s because the doctor tells you your baby will be stillborn or born with a fatal illness, or if you were raped, or if you had sex with your boyfriend during your first year of college and found yourself pregnant: these are bad situations, and no matter what you do, there’s always a chance you’ll look back and wish you’d done things differently. Kept the baby? Well, maybe you’ll find that the baby brought newfound purpose to your life. But maybe the baby added an additional financial strain to your life and forced you to quit your job, leaving you destitute and homeless with no way to feed it. Alternatively, if you got an abortion, maybe you end up being able to finish college and fulfil all your goals... or maybe you regret that decision for the rest of your life. There’s no way to guarantee that you’re making the right decision, but being informed about your options, and having options available, makes it more likely that you do. That’s why we are advocating for informed choice. Whether they eventually choose to keep the baby or have an abortion, give women the time and resources to truly evaluate their options and do what’s best for them in their own circumstances.

7. “Why kill the baby? Put it up for adoption.”:

8. “It doesn’t matter, no one has the right to take another life.”:

Here’s another way of looking at the abortion question: the fetus is in a position where its existence impinges on its mother’s bodily integrity, and it stays in that position until the point of viability (at which it could plausibly survive outside the mother’s body) at about 24 weeks. One person’s bodily integrity will always override another person’s right to life; this is a fundamental truth. Otherwise, we would have mandatory kidney and liver donations. People all over the world are dying due to a lack of kidneys or other organs - why should we be allowed to keep both of ours when one of them could save someone’s life?

Let’s say I caused a car accident that resulted in someone needing a kidney donation. It’s my fault they’re in that position, and I was negligent - should I be legally obligated to give mine up?

If the idea of being forced to donate one of your kidneys sounds violating, you’re closer to understanding why forcing someone to have a baby is such a barbaric thing to do. Even if the risk is small - kidney donations have a death rate of about 0.03% while childbirth is at 0.02% in the US - it’s still wrong to force something so invasive and risky onto someone against their will. Additionally, there are many complications that can arise from pregnancy short of death, just like there can be consequences to living your life with only one kidney down the line.

To summarize:

The pro-life argument is reduced down to: well, abortion is bad! That's a little innocent baby. It didn't hurt anyone. Well, we agree: abortion is bad. It’s not a good thing, it’s not something people want to have to do. Nobody looks forward to giving or receiving an abortion, it’s physically painful and often heart-breaking. But is it as bad as forcing a woman to go through hours of excruciating, potentially life-threatening labor for a child she doesn't even want to have? Is it as bad as enforcing serious health, financial, emotional, social, and professional risks on a woman who knows she is in no way ready to give a baby the life it deserves? Is it worse than having to drop out of school with no way to feed your child? Worse than having to give your baby away to an adoption center, where they’re likely to join the hundreds of thousands of unadopted children? There are evils, and then there are greater evils. Abortion may not be ideal, but for some people, it's the best option out there. When broken down, the pro-life argument is nothing but sad, provocative videos & descriptions of surgical abortions intended to pull at your heartstrings. But they’re sometimes the best option for the mother and her unborn baby. Nobody is pro-abortion — we’re pro-choice.

#abortion #prolife #prochoice #reproductive rights #reproductive health #adoption #sex ed #okay phew #had to get this out of my system

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