#the potato rants

[anxiouspotatorants]

Not that it would be the most fitting for the overall Gilmore Girls narrative, but I feel like Hep Alien’s ideal career timeline (mostly for Lane but possibly all the band members) would have a lot in common with irl bands like LCD Soundsystem?

As in never getting pop chartbreaking, constant stadium tour levels of fame ala Foo Fighters, Coldplay etc but rather getting massive on the indie scene to the point where they could sell out massive shows. But then as they’re reaching those heights of success, somebody (most likely Zach or Dave) would push them to disband. This would be out of fear that if Hep Alien kept going for too long they would ruin a good thing and their legacy.

So all the band members go each their way, which probably includes Lane spending some time back at her mother’s place. She either eventually picks up production work and drummer gigs or just works at Mrs Kim’s Antiques until five-or-so years down the line when she admits that their disbanding was bullshit and she and Brian convince the guys that they should get back together. Hep Alien should just make music when they feel like it and not give a shit about audience or industry expectations. They announce their return with an album and coinciding tour, make an automatically decent splash and then stick to dropping songs every three-seven years while sporadically doing smaller shows in the New England/New York area, which cultivates a chiller and more stable fanbase.

If Zach and Lane still have the twins that gives them the time to be parents and rockstars at the same time, Dave can disappear to California during the hiatus and still do stuff on the side after the return, Gil can jump in and out of bandmembership or even be exclusive to the returned version and Brian gets to just be Brian.

[adoratato]

Why does life hate me

First of I lost my fab gold eyeshadow the day I bought and now I lost my favorite purple lipstick :(

[lemonbuggg]

I'm currently v salty bc there's this person who I'm trying my best to distance myself from them bc they really hurt my feelings and today they implied that they're together w/ my partner so yeah. Saltly lil cracker right over here.

[moikayslay]

why do people make posts like “reblog this in ___ seconds or your mom will die”, or other posts like that, it’s just cruel. whenever i see those i get mad but also scared

[anxiouspotatorants]

Hey I am trying to write a fanfic right now and I saw you had some Dave Rygalski headcanons before so... do you have any Dave headcanons about his home life and like him outside of the characters we see on the show?

Hey, I am so sorry for not replying sooner but how sweet of you to think of my headcanons! It really warms my heart to see people still actually interacting with those Dave posts. I’m guessing my input will be irrelevant for your fic by now but I still love this as a prompt so I figure it would be fun to still write and post a reply. Also if/when the fic is up and running please send me a link so I may devour it!!

I never thought all that much about Dave’s homelife. I assume he’s in a two-parent household, but unsure about siblings pets and general family dynamics. Now that I’m thinking about it Dave does seem like the type to have sisters, maybe two or three. He doesn’t strike me as someone with active drama going on with his family during the show (which would be a rare sight on Gilmore Girls), but then again that’s just my take. If I remember correctly he is canonically Jewish, but as a European gentile I don’t exactly find myself informed enough to make religious or too culturally specific headcanons for a Jewish US American boy in 2000s New England.

What I do headcanon is that Dave, Zack and possibly Brian all come from a neighbouring town instead of Stars Hollow. I know US small towns can be a lot bigger than what we define as small towns where I’m from, but Lane’s never met Dave before the band and Stars Hollow is a tiny town with presumably only one high school. They should’ve met by season 3 if Dave was a townie.

I also headcanon that he can’t wait to get out of small town life, which is why he applies to study in California. I don’t think he hates small towns (if he did he would spend a lot less time in ST and a lot more doing daytrips to NY) but he’s probably never truly felt at home and hopes to find that sense of belonging in a physically bigger place. Whether he’s right about that assessment or not is a whole ‘nother case though. I think he has a really tough first year in college getting used to a far noisier and busier city and not having that safe group to constantly fall back on like he would back in New England.

Another headcanon specifically about everyday homelife is that Dave is the technician of the family. Because of his audio-tech passion his parents and potential siblings just assume he’s great at all tech and electricity, forcing him to be the one who has to figure out how to fix a faulty satellite and learn the fuse box, and at some point just switch out all the lightbulbs in the house.

Other headcanons I have which have little to do with homelife include:

Dave’s more of a sci fi geek than fantasy geek (not that all fantasy fanboys know Tolkien inside out but in GG he would’ve picked up on Mrs Kim’s quote… also he’s big into sound tech and I headcanon him as eventually getting into tech period). The boy knows his Asimov, his Analog, his Star Trek, his battlestar Galactica and most definitely keeps tabs on the Syfy Channel.

Sci fi preference be damned that boy is doing something tabletop related and my money is on either Dungeons & Dragons (the guys is studious af and has Brian and Zach as friends) or Magic the Gathering (and yes he would spend all his lunch money and then his student loans on the damn cards)

He might have anxiety (not to do armchair psychology but there’s a vibe. The ones who know, know)

He could become a little tech broish while studying in California (I mean Silicon Valley is right there) but I think it would just be a phase and that he’s more obsessed with nerding out over how things work than spreading the Web3 gospel. And I still stand by my headcanon that he goes into sound engineering or sound related tech for work after college.

Tardiness be damned I hope this was a fun and somewhat insightful read, if only on how I tend to headcanon these folk!

[anxiouspotatorants]

Self indulgent update since I've been gone:

Being locked out of the site I go to for fandom stuff demotivated me from working on WIPs but now that I'm back I'm hoping to finally get back on the Rory Gilmore-centered post s7 New Years two-parter and the next Ariadne chapter

I'm patiently waiting for season 4 of the Boys. And yes, I did watch Gen V. It was a pleasant surprise (I'm wary of spinoffs) but I don't really have anything I feel like saying about it so far except that Marie x Jordan are cute and that Andre gets too much hate

I have not been able to erase the thought of the Shane-from-Beauty-Supply-redemption-agenda in my head. Nor my Marty-could've-been-THE-guy-friend-agenda. Nor my Lindsay-Lister-renaissance bullshit. Nor Glenn Babble, period.

While I still think the Specials are some of the greatest TV I've ever seen, season 2 of Euphoria has really soured on me with time and I don't feel excited about the prospect of season 3

I apologize for the person I will become when House of the Dragon season 2 comes out. I'm rereading ASOIAF and it's making me even more unhinged about this world than I already am

You better believe I'm still obsessed with the Underdog Quartet

[anxiouspotatorants]

A post season 7 New Years fic where Rory is alone in NYC and accidentally invites her entire Facebook friendlist over to her house, leading to a massive messy party featuring appearances from not just obvious people like Paris and Lane and Jess but Lindsay Lister, Marty, Glenn Babble, Hep Alien, the year 1 Yale roomies, Bill and Belinda and many more where everyone is surprisingly cordial and there’s lots of healing and closure to go around makes no actual sense in canon but I want it.

[anxiouspotatorants]

You guys have no idea how much restraint I’ve been showing these past years by not making a Eurovision headcanon list for Gilmore Girls.

Really, the Americans among you should be thankful

[anxiouspotatorants]

Colin has a canon last name but Marty, Finn and Gil don’t there is no justice in this world

[anxiouspotatorants]

I agree with you that Rory and Jess's teenage relationship being immature and dysfunctional in a lot of ways was realistic, and... I mean, they WERE immature and dysfunctional, haha! Two teenagers who'd never witnessed a healthy long-term adult relationship in real life? It wasn't going to be smooth sailing! And so much of the blame gets put on Jess, but relationships take two to tango, and Rory definitely made mistakes too. They were BOTH really bad at communicating, and either too proud or too scared to be vulnerable with each other. I'm definitely NOT trying to claim that Jess didn't make some pretty disastrous mistakes (especially at the end), but neither of them was perfect at this, haha!

The other thing I wanted to say was... your tags about how lack of screentime plays into people's perception of the relationship. I like to say that audiences don't need everything spoon-fed to them, but... maybe they do. 😬 I'm not trying to be mean! Because my first impression of Jess and Rory's relationship (watching on TV!) was similar. For years I would say, "It was really disappointing, all they did was make out or fight!" But then, rewatching was surprising, because I picked up on all the subtext this time! I think, with a show like Gilmore, the dialogue is really fast, and when people are just casually watching a TV show instead of STUDYING it, it can be so easy to miss the subtle details and only remember the big surface appearance. Apparently we DO need it "spelled out" for us sometimes.

Oh totally! Obviously most viewers understand that relationships are nuanced and unless we’re talking abuse a teenage relationship is bound to have issues from all sides. (also what a person thinks and how it comes across in writing can also be an issue) But there does seem to be a certain amount of people who either think Jess was some force of evil who only ever treated Rory badly or that Rory was an out-of-touch spoiled cruel princess who left poor innocent Jess in the dust. And that’s just... so not it? Rory let other people’s assumptions cloud her judgement of Jess, Jess’ tough guy/lone wolf shtick kept him from openly communicating with Rory, and so on and so on, because they were both awkward messy teenagers trying to figure stuff out like teenagers do!

And yeah, I don’t want to make assumptions about individual viewers or Gilmore Girls fans, but overall in internet fandom there does seem to be a dip in media literacy and appreciating that character arcs demand flaws and problems...

[anxiouspotatorants]

Honestly with the exception of like, the last 2.5 episodes of season 3 (and I say 2.5 because Jess was ready and willing to go to the prom with Rory in ep 19), I don't consider Jess and Rory's relationship to be as horrible as many people who hate him do. Yes, he wasn't completely honest in certain moments (like with the swan attack) and there were other moments where their lack of communication proved to be a problem for Rory, but I feel like they found an equal footing of sorts in their relationship by the time episode 18 comes around. Like you hear about Jess spending time with her every weekend, doing movie nights and organizing meetups with each other. And that's when shit hits the fan by the time the end of the season comes around. And when it does, it is AWFUL, but before that, it really did feel like Jess was also learning the wheels behind what Rory wanted as well and was not only willing to hear her out but also respected her perspective. Like I can even say that in certain moments like with Dean, Jess was kind of even better than Logan because sure, he was insecure and jealous, but he didn't ever take it out on Rory for that. He just wanted her to let him know when she'd hang out with Dean, he didn't forbid her from it or taunt her once she did.

Oh I have so many thoughts about this (some I've probably shared before, but it's been a while and I want to rant literati) that I simply have to apologize because this is going to be a long one:

So first off, not only do I think Jess is a flawed boyfriend, but I'm glad that he is. A lot of shows featuring teen romance have a tendency to write them either really soapy or like the perfect coupling between two teens with the emotional maturity and experience of somebody in their 30s. I really appreciate that ASP and the writers' room kept Rory's first three big relationships flawed in a way that made sense. Yes, her and Jess are incredibly smart and right for each other, but they're also allowed to be childish and mess up as they figure out what they want to be to each other.

Second, I think that he was both a flawed boyfriend and a good one. Like you said, Jess did learn and improve whenever the opportunity presented itself. Once he was with Rory he actually revealed how mature he could be: he changed when she opened up about her wants but also set boundaries for himself, he didn't isolate her from others, he made an effort with her family and befriended her friends, he made compromises on activities and was calm and patient around romantic rivals. What made their relationship doomed to fail is something you find in a lot of couples anyway: crap self-esteem and an inability to share and display vulnerability. At first that inability could be overlooked, because it was about swans and rowdy exes, but when bigger issues occured (like getting behind on school and his dad appearing) that inability blew a massive hole in their relationship. This doesn't make him a horrible person, just somebody who needed to work on himself in order to make relationships work. (Also I don't read that scene as badly as some do, but the bedroom scene at Lane's gig can be really hard to swallow. The writers could easily have written this to go a lot darker than they did, and I don't shame anyone who are unable to root for Jess after it.)

Now I can't speak for all of Logan's run as a boyfriend (I remember so little about seasons 6 and 7 and it's taken me basically two years to reach them now), but from a seasons 1-5 perspective Jess is the obvious best boyfriend in my mind. Both because of how suitable he was with Rory on several levels (interests, intellect, understanding) but also because of how differently each of them reacted to the same issues. Whenever Dean caught wind of potential romantic rivals he would get loud and angry and often blame Rory simply for existing and being kind and unprejudiced. When Jess was made fully aware of how Dean planned to 'steal' Rory back, he remained calm and asked only to be in the know of Rory's friendship with Dean. When Dean got egged on by Jess he grabbed every bait and then some. When Logan fished for fights with Jess, he consciously kept himself on a leash and left when he realized he couldn't anymore. When Jess was confronted by Rory about her feelings for him and then for her wish to be spoiled, he listened and did what he could to set things in order. When Rory calmly told Logan that she wanted a relationship and respected his lack of desire for one, he lashed out and accused her of forcing him into something he didn't want before doing a 180 and begging to be her boyfriend. When Jess was made aware that his pranks were actually hurting people, he toned it down. When Rory begged Logan not to steal from her grandparents for a secret society ritual, he did it anyway and kept his mouth shut as the maid risked her job until Lorelai forced his hand.

None of these boys are perfect. And in some things the other two did better than Jess (Jess did have a tendency to make things harder for himself with the townies, where Dean caused no trouble and participated enough to be accepted as a townie, for example) but overall Jess has the best track records so far. And it says a lot that he has that when he was still incredibly flawed and seasons away from his massive character glow-up.

[anxiouspotatorants]

This season!!! It was amazing!! I have so many thoughts!!!

Seriously I got almost every wish/prediction I wrote down, I’m so happily surprised! Nathan came back, Ashley was unhinged, Kimiko x Frenchie developments, MM focus, Maeve and Starlight friendship Hughie not dying!

Even smaller wishes came true like Anika still being around and slightly more than last season, or Black Noir getting more depth, I’m so happy

That being said I really hope Black Noir isn’t actually dead and if that’s true I will miss him so much. He was just so much fun to watch and the show will feel just a little emptier without him

But I am very much here for Maeve leaving without dying!! Her disappearing for a while had me worried but overall I’m really happy with her plot this season. Her relationship with Annie grew, she got to have that bloodied fight with Homelander that she’s wanted for so long and she got her happy ending: no powers and Elena back

Annie is just becoming more and more of a favourite with each season, and her and MM’s growing friendship is just everything to me. And she’s finally officially a Boy!!!

In spite of the backtrack I am really happy with the Kimiko x Frenchie development this season. We got an actually good kiss, we got dancing, we got talking things through. I’m personally on the ‘she said the kiss was awkward because she still thinks a relationship and powers at the same time is impossible’-train but even if they’ll never be romantic soulmates I’m so happy they get to be any kind of soulmates

The MM and stepdad drama was so captivating, like I don’t even care about MM and his ex wife getting back together it’s just that she and Janine need to get away from that guy

The toxic masculinity theme this season was just so on point like the contrast between Hughie and MM grappling with their own senses of masculinity and trying not to hurt those around them because of it versus Soldier Boy and Homelander craving toxic masculinity and then Butcher who is just constantly swinging back and forth because he refuses to believe he can get better but he also can’t give up

Ryan??? I am scared.

Also Reggie! The redemption might actually be starting I can feel it!! Especially when Hughie said that line about saving those who don’t deserve it.

Honestly I’m just so happy about this season and excited about what’s to come. There is so much that can happen based on this season alone.

[anxiouspotatorants]

Oh god I think I need an actual thought compilation for this episode (3.05):

Anika got at least one episode again!!! I love that she was actually used as the pov character for all the stupid beurocratic choices The Deep and Homelander are making as new leaders of Vought.

I am kind of surprised the Maeve and Butcher interaction happened before her meeting any of the other Boys again, but as soon as the scene started I was surprised at my surprised. They are self destructive self loathing violent jackasses with alcohol issues, like of course they would poke at each other’s wounds and then hook up just because they felt like it.

MM really is the heart of this season and I need him to get some catharsis or kind of win in the end because the first half has been rough.

Speaking of moral compasses of the show I keep getting surprised over how much I love Annie and Hughie and their relationship. I genuinely squealed when Annie said she didn’t need him to save her she needed him ;-;. Also the angst the angst

Where is Maggie/Maeve. I need to know she’s okay or comes back swinging in the finale where is she she can’t die of screen please don’t kill her off now her character has so much to do where is she where is she where is she where is she-

I���m genuinely starting to think Nathan is the key to A-Train’s redemption because he seems like the one person that can genuinely call him out while inspiring Reggie to do better. Like, it is hard to bring that boy back after not just Robin and Popclaw but now Supersonic (I miss him already ;-;), but Nathan and this plotline might just do it. Or at least start it

If you think I have forgotten about Frenchie and Kimiko you are sorely mistaken. Shit, they deserve their whole compilation of thoughts. Like is Kimiko permanently powerless now? Or is it temporary? Will she have to start using temp V with the rest of the team?

As a musical lover that scene just brought me so much joy. It was just so energetic and happy and happened in a way that makes sense for the show and for musicals (when your feelings are too strong to say you sing them etc.). I just know I’m going to rewatch that scene ten thousand times.

«I have mon coeur.» That’s it, that’s the line replaying in my head now.

She kissed him!! It was an actual consented soft kiss! And they were both so giddy and adorable after it! We’re officially free of the disaster kiss from season two!

Nina is a terrifying side villain and I am here for it. I do hope Kimiko having to go save him solves itself in the next episode though because I can’t take all the angst coming at me by the end of this episode

Okay but if nobody has then somebody has to make a post about the contrast between Maeve x Homelander/ Soldier Boy x Crimson Countess and Kimiko x Frenchie/ Annie x Hughie. Something about honest love and saving each other because there is so much there.

My one critique of this episode is not enough Black Noir. (Also just to note on an earlier episode his backstory holy shit I did not expect him to actually grow past scary comic relief ninja he had an actual name and personality and feelings and he might still have them oh my god-)

[anxiouspotatorants]

And here I am furiously googling «aesthetic office bathrooms marble gold dark» for a friendship moodboard for an R rated superhero satire show this is what happens when you compliment me.

[anxiouspotatorants]

Me: It’s important to never forget canon and to not stray away from it, characters go through the arcs they do and have the personalities they do for a reason and the more you headcanon outside of that the more you create a disingenous image of the show you like

Also me: Okay but what if Lindsay went to Rory before Dean and they banded together to dump him and became friends and also Rory got to be actual friends with Glenn and Marty and Lindsay would come over to Yale to party/hang out with them and Jess and Lane would keep in touch separately from Rory and Paris would be brought into it when she found out and Paris and Jess would go to Lane’s gigs whenever they could and Jess and Dave actually stay in touch because they crossed paths again in California and Brian and Dave keep each other up to date and Glenn and Marty meet others by visiting Stars Hollow for Rory and Lane crashes at Philadelphia for a week in season 6 and Lindsay randomly parties with Madeline and Louise who try to serenade Marty and at some point at least half of these people go to a Broadway show just for fun and spot Brad Langford in the leading role and-

[anxiouspotatorants]

So I’m crawling out of my hole after months to share au ideas I got 0.2 seconds ago when I have countless unfinished and unwritten fics you guys have already said you want me to do, aren’t I