#you go fedex man

[lazywitchling]

I have a little fancy box that I keep on my altar near the Lady, along with some pre-cut strips of paper. For requests or thanks or just for the fuck of it, I'll grab a paper strip, write on it, fold it into a paper star, and add it to her box.

[keeps-ache]

it's actually very mean that i can't have emojis of my ocs just on my computer. i just think it would be much more convenient for when i have to say the Guys are in my brain but i also have no words..

[bunnyb34r]

😭 girl help

[al-the-remix]

BuckTommy Positivity Week Day 4: hobbies and dates

a dirt biking date for @bucktommypositivityweek day four! 🏍

(Something, something, I have a lot of feelings about Buck finally having someone who trusts him to be himself, even when he's reckless and impulsive. It's an important facet of the Evan Buckley Experience. Anyway, this only sort of brushes the surface of that.)

So maybe taking Evan out on the trails had been a little self-serving…but Tommy had always been a sucker for a man straddling a dirt bike. In his experience, all men looked better with a little mud on them. It was one of those fixations that had started early, sinking its teeth into his lizard-brain like a dog and refusing to be shaken off.  

And maybe he hadn’t been prepared for just how good Evan would look, all adrenalin-flushed and wind-chafed, his curls unglued from their standard gel and plastered to his forehead with helmet-sweat. Unlike some of his previous boyfriends, Evan actually knew how to ride a motorcycle; the competence was both incredibly hot and had presented its own issues...

Road biking and dirt biking weren’t the same, but Evan’s eyes had gotten big and dish-saucer like when he’d seen the bikes hanging from the ceiling in Tommy's garage. Not long after he had been hovering over Tommy’s shoulder as Tommy had showed him maps of off road trails on his iPad, pointing out the ones he had thought looked nice.

“That one,” Evan had said, indicating a trail marked Difficult. “It’s got a great look out.”

Tommy had raised a brow. “Are you sure you don’t want to take it easy for your first time?”

Evan had snorted out a laugh in his ear. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Right, I forgot who I was talking to…” he’d teased and Evan had elbowed him playfully. “Alright, Bud Ekins, advanced it is.”

In his experience Evan Buckley wasn’t a man who needed training wheels or kid gloves; and watching him tear away on one of Tommy’s bikes onto the forest trail was just another, very literal instance of Evan revving the gas and leaving Tommy in the dust. It was thrilling on some level. It had been a long time since Tommy felt challenged in a relationship in positive ways, he hadn’t realized till meeting Evan how stuck in a rut (ha) his dating life had been for a while now. 

It was all going very smoothly until it wasn’t. It only took a split second for Evan’s bike to spin out and disappear into a ditch. Tommy swore, pulling into a sliding stop. 

“Wait! Wait, don’t move!” he called, jogging over to where Evan lay flat on his back, looking a little stunned. At least all his limbs were laying at the correct angles. 

He slid down the bank on his heels, coming to kneel at Evan’ side. “Did you land on a rock or anything?” He ripped his gloves back to feel around Evan’s neck.

“I’m fine,” he groaned as he reached for his helmet. “You wrapped me up in enough protective gear you could FedEx me cross country.”

“Well, you’re a very important package,” Tommy quipped, finally allowing Evan to sit up.

Evan rolled his eyes huffing out a laugh. He didn’t look too banged up, but Tommy still felt compelled to ask: “How does your head feel? We should go to the hospital if you think you could have a concussion.”

“Do you really want to spend the rest of our day off in the ER?” Evan challenged.

“I’d be more than happy to, if needed.”

Evan’s eyes skated down and away as he visibly swallowed. “Seriously, I’ve broken enough bones and sprained enough joints to recognize it when it happens. I’m good.”

Tommy didn’t exactly feel great about that, but he wasn’t about to force Evan to do anything he didn’t want to. He knew his body well. 

“And you’d let me know if you did?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Tommy said, giving Evan a hand pulling his bike back out of the ditch. “You think you can get yourself back? I can give you a ride and get the bike out later if you want.”

“Nah, I’m good,” Evan said, tightening his neck guard back up. 

“We’ll go slow.”

When they made it back to the parking lot Tommy got Evan situated on the tailgate of his truck and went to forage for his first aid kit buried under other junk in the backseat footwell. 

Evan was peeling his chest protector off with a grimace when Tommy returned. “I don’t think I had enough skin showing to get any scraps, mostly what’s bruised is my ego,” Evan said, a little sheepishly as Tommy settled in between his knees. 

“Let me check for my own peace of mind.”

He helped peel the long sleeve over Evan’s head, who sat surprisingly patiently as Tommy gave him the once over. His skin was flushed and a little bruised but all together nothing too serious, and maybe Tommy lingered just a little longer than necessary, running his hands up along Evan's arms and over the broad curve of his shoulders. 

“Ah, I see, this was just an excuse to feel me up the whole time,” Evan drawled when he realized what Tommy was up to.

“You caught me,” Tommy said, slipping deeper between Evan’s legs. 

Admittedly Evan had been correct, and he’d be sore and stiff tomorrow, but no worse off. The only broken skin was a small scrape on his arm where his sleeve had rolled up, and Tommy took his time dressing it even though it wasn’t bleeding. 

“You know, Maddie used to do this for me all the time,” Evan said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled over them. “I was always getting myself into some kind of predicament.”

Tommy hummed. “No wonder she's such a good nurse, she had a good patient to practice on.”

“I’m not sure she’d agree,” Evan said, his laugh edging on self-concious. 

“I think she would,” Tommy said and pressed a kiss to the bandaid for good measure. “There, as good as new.”

“Well, I still feel a little embarrassed,” Evan admitted as he hopped off the tailgate with a groan and hobbled around so he could lean himself against the side of the truck. “It's way harder to put the moves on you with a limp.”

“I wasn't aware I was being wooed,” Tommy said as he began setting up the ramp.

“You're always being wooed, trust me,” Evan drawlled, gaze skating the length of Tommy’s body as he pushed the first bike up into the bed.

Tommy paused, catching Evan’s eyes where he stood, looking down at him. He knew with Evan his life would never be boring, but instead of being intimidating, the prospect was a comforting one. He knew that he’d never have to worry about where Evan was coming from or if he wanted Tommy as badly as Tommy wanted him. Evan, who was intense and passionate and sincere, someone Tommy could get into trouble with and he knew would still be at his side when they had to dig their way back out. 

He trusted Evan to be himself: one of the strongest people Tommy knew.

 “I do,” Tommy said, with more weight in his words than he was really intending. "Trust you.

Evan’s expression turned a bit startled, then softened. “Thank you.”

[multiplicationdivision]

Company Policy

Milo was stuck on the worst run he’d ever taken. Cargo needed in 2 days and just under that time to get there in his truck if he drove without sleeping. It would have been near torture and even if the payout was better than amazing, it wasn’t something he would’ve taken a week ago.

Milo had a trick these days.

He’d picked up a hitchhiker. A backpacking twenty something, dumb and rugged. A golden retriever of a man that was handsome in a sense, but not in any way Milo was interested in. Too sweet and trusting for him. Men didn’t last long around him like that.

Especially now.

He’d been sweaty when Milo had picked him up, his shirt wet with the hot sun and turned to mud from the dust. That’s what you ask for travelling around the middle of the southern nowhere. Barely a thing worth shit on the endless roads between truck stops and motels. Maybe a rattlesnake or two.

It had been easy to get the happy fool to wear one of his backup Tees. He kept his spare uniforms in the back, enough to last him the long trips. Gray polyester that was boringly company policy to wear no matter what. Like Milo was employed under Amazon or FedEx instead the knock off generic delivery company that was obsessed with him maintaining their nonexistent brand.

Company policy was absolute. Not the soft idea of absolute, Milo receiving consequences for not following the rules or maybe even getting fired. Nothing weak and mundane like that.

Company policy like this was some mind-bending shit. It wasn’t something that could be broken, not by Milo who’d already signed his employment contract. He was bound by it’s rules and it would be a claustrophobic feeling had he not gotten such a good contract. Great pay, great time off and an understanding boss. He could deal with the strange aspects of that contract for the benefits. Even manipulate them sometimes.

Only employees can wear their uniform. The contract states that on page 2 in full bold letters. Followed by a bunch of stipulations about assignment of uniform sizes and assorted accommodations.

The hitchhiker wore one of his shirts now. His ragged sweaty one was somewhere on the floor, balled up under the passenger seat. The man had said it was surprisingly comfortable for a uniform. Said he’d worked as a cashier for some fast-food joint and that theirs were scratchy. He’d said he was surprised Milo’s shirt fit him so well.

Company policy demands that only the employee who owns the uniform wears the uniform. Milo wondered if the hitchhiker noticed how baggy the shirt was on him minutes ago. How it sagged around his shoulders, the man smaller than him by far. Now it fit perfectly, tight against his skin.

Milo asks if the man knows about his favorite TV show. Some niche drama going back to the 90s, echoing the same plots over and over and over. The hitchhiker squints his darkening eyebrows, recognition blooming in real time. The man just remembering something he’d surely never watched.

He’d been clean shaven, but now the guy’s face was covered in a shadow that Milo recognized. He’d discuss his travels as he gazed outside. Not noticing the moment when the tales of a hitchhiker faded into recollections of hauls gone hilariously wrong.

Milo watched the changes out the corner of his eye, relaxing as the awkward conversation became easy. Their language becoming more and more alike by the second, the nervous dog of a man becoming loud like Milo. Discussing their nearly identical plan of scaling the Devil’s Tower and free climbing whatever parts of the Grand Canyon they could get to. Bragging about how little they needed to workout with so much time to spend climbing.

The other made sounds of discomfort every now and then. Milo wondered if it hurt to have a life scooped out and filled in again. It was likely just disorienting, the hitchhiker seeming to try to recount his college years only to remember that he’d been a cross country trucker for the last six years. He’d laughed about how nice it was that truckers could rely on each other when they needed help. Milo joked that it was hard not to pick him up when he was so handsome. They laughed because they looked remarkably similar.

At some point, Milo realized that he had ended up in the passenger seat. As if he’d slowly bled into existence without the awareness to realize it. Feeling a slight desynchrony from the still sweaty cargo shorts and trainers he’d been left with. The other Milo laughed at him when he complained. They both knew he had brought an extra pair of sneakers for this exact situation.

They were mirror images now, matching short beards and curly hair. A situation they were both used to by now. Three times policy had assured that the person wearing his uniform was Milo, no matter how it broke the rules of reality to do so. They were short staffed so his boss had told him to keep it coming.

Milo would always have a buddy for the road, someone to trade shifts with as the other slept. Another Milo keeping him company in every state, at every stop. It only cost a few nobodies and a shirt or pants.

It was a good trick.

[tainbocuailnge]

executor stands out among sankta because he's epic autism man but in particular as far as I know he's not outright cut off from the empathy network like fallen angels are, he just doesn't know or care what to do with the information he receives through the empathy network. so much sankta racism comes from the very primal feeling of "i don't understand Those guys the way I understand My guys" which like, will happen if you can instinctively grasp the emotions of Your guys but have to extrapolate the feelings and intentions of anyone else based on context clues. but that doesn't work on executor because he doesn't have an instinctive understanding of emotion so even if he gets his fellow sankta's feelings beamed directly into his brain he still has to extrapolate and rationalise what those Mean the same he would for any non-sankta. he's extremely resistant to groupthink despite being literally hooked up to an empathy network and it's very hard to fool him for long because he goes around life having to carefully observe and reason based on evidence and experience what the Fuck anyone ever is going on about. feelings are ambiguous and arbitrary but the letter of the law is clear. use your words and say what you mean if you want people to understand you.

i haven't read any of arturia's CN materials so this is just the feeling i get from her limited screentime in hortus but i think she might actually be pretty similar to him on that front. she's fascinated by people's emotions and wants to see their strongest desires acted upon in their purest most unfiltered form and she wanders around using her emotion amplifying arts to get to see this happen. she doesn't really have a filter herself either she rants at length about her misanthropic views to a pair of four year olds. the vibe i get is that she has a similar inability to instinctively understand the information she receives through her empathy and while for fedex the lack of intrinsic understanding leads to relying on logical reasoning and using his big boy words to bridge that gap she's instead fascinated by seeing emotions acted on so intensely and unambiguously that anyone can understand. or maybe to the extent that it becomes incomprehensible to everyone. it really stands out to me that the two of them are the only known sankta whose halos aren't white or pastel especially because the event specifically mentioned that fedex's halo glows as bright as any other sankta's and isn't dimmed like a fallen angel's or anything. even half-sarkaz cecelia has a bright white halo.

[zeravmeta]

Super Sankta 2 Exu sounds like an excellent idea Zerav. For maximum meme, she's a John Wick style Guard- just uses guns to bash in people's skulls.

Super Sankta 2 Exu whose going John Wick style on people is funny but my concept for Exia Alter was always based on like, the concept that Skadi Alter first introduced that we all thought at the time was gonna be the standard fare for alters

My Ultimate Sankta vs Exia 3 concept was based around the idea of a "Bad End" Exia the way Skadi Alter is, where Exia would be further mechanized ala Executor and become an emotionless seraphim-type unit who would essentially be the ultimate Sankta weapon. This would happen as the result of Laterano having some kind of big event that would cause them to pull all remaining Sankta from all corners of Terra for their promised day of ascension where they would leave Terra and all its problems behind, with certain Sankta (Like Exia) essentially being the vanguards and protectors of these people (I essentially just took the idea of the Rapture and assigned it to the Sankta), with the event concept in question being Penguin Logistics invading this holy land to save their girl.

So like. you can imagine how hard ive been popping off with all the new lore reveals we've gotten over the past 2 years. That said, this concept is a little outdated, and just leaving it at that would be no fun

So here's my pitch for how Exia Alter 4: The Quest For Peace would go with modern foresight (added read more because reasons)

The Popes basement computer in Zwillingsturme just let out a directive that they need to gather their best Sankta to fight against the end of the world. This is in conjunction with the last few events squarely tying together Iberia's Seaborn plotline with both Laterano and Siracusa and their dividing faiths. Now, all of this is in conjunction with the hints we've been getting that Penguin Logistics is going to split up (Lappland and Mostima have already flown the coop, and currently the rest are in Siracusa helping Texas the Amogus, but that will likely not last especially bc Exia's own anniversary line all but majorly hints at this split happening because they all got different stuff going on)

If Penguin Logistics splits, Exia will well and truly be left without a support system.

Now, Exia has always been kind of off as far as Sankta go, because for all intents and purposes she shouldn't be out of place: We see just how Sankta tend to act in Guide Ahead, and Exia didn't really seem all that different. Yet, when we look at her history and actions (she was basically kicked out, she was super accident prone which made other Sankta hate her, as part of Penguin Logistics shes constantly drunk, Texas herself says that Exia being an optimist makes her different, etc), she's actually Really different.

Almost like she has an abnormality compared to other Sankta. Me and a few others (check out @annierosaart post here) have speculated on her being different, but we also don't really know WHY: Even if she was suddenly disconnected from the Sankta empathy powers, we don't see any indication of how, and unlike Ezell we don't have any sort of 'wake-up' moment for her.

But given the weirdness about her and her lines, I think I know what the exact nature of her abnormality may be (and heres my pitch) when looking at the most relevant characters who have abnormalities, namely Executor and Arturia, because I think she falls in line with them (shameless plug to my old exia/executor buddies post):

Executor's abnormality is that his emotions are incredibly muted compared to others. He isn't heartless or emotionless, but more that his heart and mind runs on rationale and logic first and foremost, which almost disqualified him from being canonized had he also not been Laternos single most competent man because saint fedex is entirely disconnected from caring about petty things like being racist.

Arturia's abnormality is that she is receptively empathetic to the point she has nothing within her. She can remove the inhibitions of people, and this is in service to understanding them, because she lacks an understanding of herself: She has a grand dream of an empathy for the world even beyond the Sankta Empathy power, and to accomplish this she draws out the emotions that people hide. As a result, she reflects the emotions of others within herself and thus is incredibly empathetic to the point she's also lacking in emotions and a self.

Exia? I think that her abnormality is that she's too emotional, that the emotions she feels are far more amplified compared to others.

I believe this for a couple of reasons: All the weirdness surrounding her aside, whats the one thing that's always defined Exia? Her Rapid Casting EX. It's always been memed about, but simply firing a single bullet from a gun is akin to casting an Arts attack, with guns serving as a type of wand in these cases. Exia is the only character within the series whose been noted to be so fast with her arts and casting.

This post here does a phenomenal job expanding on this point, but Arts are an expression of the soul, they're influenced by emotions and become stronger with them because they are ultimately expressions of the self, which all characters in and of themselves having a "unique" arts inherent to them. Hell, all of Leithaniens arts are based around using musical expression, while Sarkaz are noted for their arts based on souls and memory, with the literal main heroine of Arknights having an empathy based arts superpower.

Exia, having Super Emotion as her Sankta halo abnormality, could explain why shes so good at gun, even without Oripathy, because said emotions are boosting her casting ability. Remember, anyone can use originum arts, it's just that oripathy is needed for them to be able to do it without a casting device.

This heightened emotion could also possibly explain her crush on Mostima, and even why Mostima is so weird/cruel about her: Mostima was simply a childhood friend alongside her and her sister, and yet when she left for Lungmen, Exia was hot on her trails and then waited 4 YEARS to be beside her and meet her again. She joined Penguin Logistics specifically because of Mostima. It's incredibly likely that Exia might have just had a small crush on her that then spiraled heavily because of this, and Mostima (with her chronic backstory-itis letting her find out that the whole Sankta and halo thing is a scam from her op files and events) might even be aware of this aspect of Exia, and may have wanted her to get over it, always leaving to try and make Exia move on but also always coming back because she needs to look after Exia. After all, if Exia had heightened extreme emotions, what are the chances she could die of grief? She already gets drunks regularly, and despite being cheerful and optimistic, Exia is wearing a mask hiding an incredibly depressed individual.

It could also be possible that the reason why Exia never noticed this is because while it doesn't let other Sankta feel her emotions, she can still feel that of others. She's always confused as to why back in Laterano people always accused her of being disingenuous, because can't they feel her emotions? Well, if she has Super Emotions, it could potentially be overloading her halo, so while she can receive signals, they can't be felt by others. Moreover, this mechanical aspect blends in well with her E2 art, where she is the single operator in the game without an animal/living motiff

Even other Sankta have birds and/or human statues and robotic elements (funnily enough, Executor Sniper only has crosses but even then he is clearly being themed as specifically an angel), but Exia? She has her guns, becoming wings as a ring forms with them. She's literally ascending while her wings become darker.

So what does all this mean?

Well, the Pope's basement bonzi buddy just sent out a directive for the Pope to gather the best Sankta to fight against the end of the world, and who else to recruit but a vulnerable, lonely Sankta who was kicked out for being TOO destructive? Exia's profile does make mention that despite appearances, she is also incredibly pious just like other Sankta, and if the Pope himself came knocking, wanting to give Exia a place back in Laterano, and in a high ranking, respected position no less?

She would jump at the chance, not only to be beside her sister (and possibly Mostima), but also to be accepted back into Laterano society.

Executors own halo has a mechanized element to it, where he also gains more parts to it when he goes from normalest man to saint fedex, so he likely underwent some kind of modification to go along with his promotion, especially because he also now carries an Nier Automata companion cube with him straight from the machine

If Exia is to be canonized, she might be adjusted in a similar way by The Law.

She might even be fully altered into becoming Laterano's perfect weapon to fight against the end of the world. The Witch King himself describes this approaching threat as a void of infinite knowledge which seeks to eliminate them, an unshakeable truth of existence that drives people insane.

The Creator must perish.

What better weapon to fight against such a thing than one who feels her own emotions so strongly she cannot be swayed? Or better yet, an equally as unshakeable, emotionless machine?

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 2

Propaganda why Light Yagami is insufferable:

Had a great chance to actually solve the problems of the world but he decided to go after petty criminals instead of actual bad guys shaking my head. He thought he was so smart but got caught being suspected to be Kira before he even had his next birthday. How do you fuck up that badly? It’s a book you write peoples names in…Nice move, FedEx

Also his personality is awful

HE DIDNT DESERVE TO PULL A GOTH GIRL

Idk if he counts because he's SUPPOSED to be insufferable. But I don't care because I want to punch him in the face anyway. Oh and before the Light stans come at me let me say: thanks but I don't want your 5 paragraphs explaining why he's so complex and was corrupted and rationalized murder as a defense mechanism to avoid confronting the possibility that he might have done something that would make him irredeemable and evil and how in the manga he lost weight due to the psychological strain because I know. I think he's fascinating too but good God. He's so annoying.

he's like if a cop was a bitchy teenager about it

Propaganda why Naofumi Iwatani is insufferable:

Man is a Reddit incel fantasy, he’s always right and everyone who disagrees with him is about to be defeated with facts and logic, the only good women are him are children (also groomed his main love interest) who agree with everything he says, everyone woman otherwise is out to #metoohim

Redditor fantasy, serial groomer

Shield Hero is an intensely misogynistic series about a Nice Guy™ who's screwed over by Women but is Badass enough to make it in life anyway. Despite the series's desperate attempts to convince the audience Naofumi is a Nice Guy, he owns slaves and legally renames his rival (woman who screwed him over) to Bitch Whore as a form of vengeance. More info here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mI1GhinyFzg

[lafiametta]

Honestly hope Ishido and the other regents for that matter get slaughtered. Bunch of assholes

I hear you, Anon. And it's not an improbable outcome. I mean, considering all the time we've spent with the Toranaga Crew, I suspect that the show will not end with Ishido crowned in victory, getting a ticker tape parade. (And even though Shōgun is fictional, the history it's based on can also give us a hint of what's to come!)

If I had to rank the biggest asshole/most deserving of slaughter, though, Ishido wouldn't end up on top, surprisingly!

5) Ito — The man just wants to be a star of the Noh theater! How was he to know accepting the offer of a seat on the council would mean having to neglect his art for politics (and pesky little things like plotting kidnappings and ninja attacks)? 4) Ohno — Having leprosy means never having to say you're sorry. 3) Kiyama — Terrible at assassinating heretic barbarians and also terrible at insulting them ("pirate"? that's really the worst you could do?). Also, he left my girl Mariko out to dry even though he promised to be her second; did he actually think she was going to let her son marry into his family after ghosting her like that? 2) Ishido — Continues to fail upwards after he gets Ochiba to agree to marry him. He's a dead-eyed bureaucrat who's come to believe he's a strategic genius, like the manger of your local post office deciding to start a war with the CEO of FedEx. 1) Saeki Nobutatsu — Love your hats, but you're officially the worst. Double-crosses Toranaga, fucks Kiku perfunctorily, dismisses Ochiba when she's trying to give the regents actual good (if scary) advice about how to deal with Mariko. Let him burn.

[the-cat-chat]

July 20, 2024

Cast Away (2000)

A FedEx executive undergoes a physical and emotional transformation after crash landing on a deserted island.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: There are so many things about this movie that I love. The first part of the movie shows how much Tom Hanks' character is on the go go go. He's all about efficiency and productivity. Everything is on a schedule, even his personal life. At the same time, he's also a bit of a romantic.

It takes a while to build up to the big crash, but it's great for character building and raising the anticipation. The plane crash scene has pretty good special effects, even by today's standards.

I'm a big fan of survival movies, so I do love watching Tom Hanks' character make mistakes, learn, face setbacks, overcome obstacles. Having Wilson as a way for his character to bond with another "person" is so smart. Although it is strange to be sad about a man's relationship with a volleyball, it's done so well. You really feel like Wilson is the only thing keeping his character sane.

Usually with movies like this, it ends when they get "rescued." I like that they show some of his character's adjustment back into society. (the seafood dinner with food carelessly leftover, the lighter, the too soft mattress, him guzzling water from a bottle).

I only have a few gripes about this movie. One, why are there zero animals or bugs on the island? Yes, there are fish. But nothing else at all? Even a small scene of him killing a bug or chasing off an animal would be cool.

And second, I do think his girlfriend moves on a bit too fast, especially without the closure of his recovered body. If you do some of the math, she basically "grieves" for like 6 months or so, and some of those months were spent still trying to find him. I agree that they shouldn't get back together in the end, but I my brain couldn't help but do the math at the same time.

But I do feel like the ending fits. Now, Tom Hanks' character isn't on a schedule, he doesn't have a plan, which is so different from how he treated life in the beginning of the movie. And I like how the angel artist lady is included throughout the movie before finally appearing at the end, as if it was "meant to be."

P.S. RIP Wilson

P.P.S. I couldn't help but notice as he drives in the final scenes of the movie, he has a brand new Wilson. What on earth is he planning to do? Create a new Wilson with a face and talk to it and carry it around in society? Use it for volleyball? Doesn't that seem disrespectful? idk

Rating: 7.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: As this is my second time writing this review bc obviously the universe hates me and disagrees with my opinion on this ammmazing movie, this will be scathing. I hated it I don’t even wanna be nice anymore. I thought it was funny how Tom Hanks was obsessed with time and then forced to be on an island where time really is an illusion. I like the start when he’s still running fedex (totally thought he was ups but whatever) and the plane crash was really well done for the time and then when he’s on the island I start getting peeved. Has this mannnnn ever seen Naked and Afraid. Where’s the fire- it took him so long. He should’ve been a Boy Scout. Uggg. And the knocking his own tooth out. I’m triggered. And loosing Wilson. Lame. He so could got him. This is like Jack and Rose all over again.

And now my reallllll problem. I will not ever be able to watch Helen Hunt again. Okkk. So this guy that gives you a ring the last time you saw him on Christmas right as he’s boarding a plane that will crash- is stuck on an island for 4 years. Ok - Her kid is 2 years old - it takes 9 months to make a baby- ok so we’re already back in time where there’s 1 year and 2 months when she could’ve been hung up over him- soooo in the year following his disappearance- say she waited a month or two for them to find him- okkk we’re at a year grieved another 2 months- quick but okkkkkk met his Root Canal Dentist- which wowwwww- had a wonderful romance so in like 8/10 months after he was missing- I’m sooo sorry she got over him being missing grieved and dated and married this guy would is literally her fiancé nemesis and had a kid wayyyyy to quick. I mean I do t think I ever did anything so quick in my life everrrr. And I still can’t look at Chris Noth. I’m done. For my sanity I have to be. None of the math makes sense to read but you get it. After 2 months??? I think I’ve been dedicated to listening to a song on repeat longer than that.

I am glad he had his little friend to come back to- and I did like the whole angel wings artist lady plot but that veers to unhealthy kinnnnnda???

Rating: I can’t- it had 4/10- but for my mental health now it’s a 2/10 Crabs 🦀

[donnerpartyofone]

Randomly remembering when the pandemic was reaching its peak and pretty much every shipping service was so overwhelmed that they marked 90% of your packages undeliverable because "you weren't home". Of course the gag is that you WERE home, all the time, and that was the exact reason for the shipping congestion. I always wished that they would at least come up with a different excuse, however vague, almost anything would have made me less angry than the one explanation that was patently dishonest and an accusation against me personally. It would have been better if you got "due to the high volume of calls" type of messaging, but I guess they didn't want to invite the idea that their service was unreliable, so somehow it was better to blame masses of customers for something we all knew for a fact was definitely false.

But like on that exact note, I'm very allergic and being inside our moldy apartment 24/7 was driving me nuts. I got a Molecule air filter, which runs on a subscription plan, and then I just could not get my replacement filters delivered. (I feel like an idiot getting something that only takes these proprietary subscription filters and not something where I could just go to the hardware store and get a general type of thing, but I was doing what I thought I had to at the time) FedEx just would not give me my shit and wouldn't give me any options to go pick the thing up somewhere, it was either "you weren't home" or "we delivered it to you, what's your problem?" Eventually I complained to Molecule and they were so protective of FedEx I couldn't believe it. Every time I explained the situation the customer service guy would write back "We understand that you weren't home so FedEx was unable to deliver your shipment." And then I'd explain it in even MORE DETAIL and they'd say "Yes, we realize that because you were not home to receive your shipment, you now need to order another filter." And then I'd be even MORE SPECIFIC and I'd start to get REALLY PISSED OFF which I try not to do with any kind of service person, and the guy kept very specifically reinforcing FedEx's lie about me, and eventually they go "Since you didn't receive your shipment because you weren't home, we will send you an extra filter for free this time." I wish I remembered the exact wording because it was even more insulting than that, like they were doing me this huge favor even though it was all my personal fault. I didn't expect them to say "Yeah that was fucked up of FedEx, fuck those assholes" but I thought they'd be at least a little more, I dunno, vague or neutral about general non-delivery. Instead it was like I was talking to FedEx's mom, like FedEx punched another third grader in the face and ripped off his lunch and the mom is explaining to me how outgoing and enterprising little FedEx is and it's really the fault of the other kid for being a weakling and having such a delicious lunch. Usually customer service people get some kind of script that they can't deviate from so I had to think this guy wasn't winging it, this is what Molecule told them to say whenever this probably-extremely-common problem came up. But man, every time I think of that company for any reason, that's the first thing I remember. I would tell them that, but they'd probably be like "We understand that your opinion of our company was damaged because your bad behavior prevented FedEx from generously delivering the shipment that you didn't deserve."

[lochtayboatsong]

Happy 2nd Gotcha Day to my cats!

They are both grey tabbies, two of a litter of three that were born under my cousin’s neighbor’s house outside of Charlotte NC, we think sometime in November 2021.

Piper is small and light grey and dainty but will Fight You. Her favorite places to be are either in my lap, or on the desk in the office where she can Supervise the neighborhood children at play through the front window. Her favorite things include chasing lights (laser pointers, car headlights on the wall, light reflected on the wall from my watch, etc), making things go “bang bang bang,” and tuna-flavored treats.

Hamish is dark grey and he chomk. He can look ridiculously handsome and regal when he wants to, but he is also a bit of a derp. He is also a great big fraidy-cat. A non-exhaustive list of things he is afraid of includes the FedEx man, plastic grocery bags, my work shoes, and the vacuum cleaner. His favorite things include lounging in the cat tree, getting up on his hind legs to see what he can reach/knock off of the bathroom counter, and chittering at the birds through the porch door. He sleeps on my feet or snuggled up against my legs every night, but has never willingly let me pick him up in my arms.

They make my house at home, and I’m glad they’ve allowed me to be their person.

[g0os]

So, Hortus de Escapismo was an event, it happened.

(Spoilers filled rant ahead)

Fredrico became the first non-papal saint for some mysterious reason (tune in next episode to find out). But I cant say I didn't like him, I'd go so far as to say he's one of the only truly good people in the event, the only one willing to go against the law, even if that just means following it's words than the true intent behind them.

Clement (gardener deer guy) sure was a character, the twist at the end really did his character dirty, he was a sweet guy pushed to his limits by poverty that tried to hold hope and help people, working as a balance to the bishop who's hope was dwindling. Then suddenly he's also been planning to bomb the monastery because it's better to die together than live apart? I guess? It wad a bad twist to set up a final boss.

And why was Arturia the final boss? Did they really need to save her for the next event in this plotline? She was subtly built up as a antagonist with questionable lines doted here and there, Fredrico rushing off to stop her when given the barest idea of here presence, building her up as a mastermind that pulls strings from afar, but no deer boy.

As for her character, I like her, she's my kind a insane, clearly a bad person but the kind I wouldn't mind an event dedecated too, hopefully she gets more screne time in the next event.

On to the two that join Fredrico on the trip, Spuria is unlikeable, but that felt intentional? She's a sceming ass that uses others to her benefit and doesn't truly commit to Oren's plan out of self preservation.

Richele on the other hand is likeable but just as selfcentred as Spuria, they both put themselves first but their personalities give them a nice contrast to otherwise bland characters.

Now that I've mentioned him, WHY HAS NOBODY JUST SHOT OREN? He tried to do a massacre! And it's just pushed to the side once they're past that plot point. Seriously the baddest man just walks away from this event without a single consiquence.

And Lemuen, I can't say I like her, I can apreciate her as a character, someone who grew up in a racist society trying to do her best for people in a way that doesn't damage her worldview.

I loved the scene (and just the general concept) of a wheelchair bound girl zipping around a monistary chasing some eldrich abomination with a sniper rifle, woman couldn't be further from relistic if she tried, the CG of the stair covered path is the real cake of that entire scene.

The Sarkaz goobers (I've come this far, I sure ain't stopping here) were neet, though not the real focus, which is kinda wierd, they were the only characters that were facing any real stakes, do you abandon your friends so they can live a better life without you, even if it means your struggle will only get harder, I liked Gerald, he felt old, the reminders of his past being dreged up and forcing him to confront his past and recon with his action ultimately leading to the conclusion which felt a bit under cooked, he off's himself then they lose focus on the Sarkaz subplot until his brother tries to run away with Fortuna and nearly dies then their just dropped till the epilouge.

As for Fortuna, though I feel Delphina death was a might contrived I'm willing to accept that for what came of it, even if it too was dropped for the real story, her pain only caused by the circumstances she can't control, racist laws and inpovrishment push aother to break under their weight. Andoain was right, yada, yada.

Who else, the bird kids? They were cool 'n' fun nice lil subplot, saw their mothers twist coming from a mile away but it was still heartwarming to see.

The tenticle man? Was there? More set up for later events probably, really wish they gave his screen time to litteraly anyone else.

So as a whole I feel this just suffered from a degree of character bloat, Spuria and Richele don't really contribute anything to the actual plot that someone else couldn't have and beyond the start of FedEx's character arc this event really just felt like set up for later events, which sucks, I really hope that Arturia is actually the true villain of her event even if they make her a protagonist.

So yeah, I'm gonna call it here before this goes from rant to 5,000 word essay.

Racism bad, genocide bad, feed the poor, Andoain was right. Arturia please dom me.

[rlainarin]

okay i'm here for the amorous oc asks: https://www.tumblr.com/rlainarin/756388668364685312?source=share

i would love for you to answer 4, 5 and 7 for isolence and angharad!

eyyyoooo boys time for Livvo

4: Is there someone your OC has met who they would find physically attractive, if only their personality were not so repulsive? (Or that they find attractive and really wish they didn't...)

oh man. oh god. I sit down and start doing my little inventory of men in DAO and Angharad just pops into my brain and goes "Loghain's hot."

thanks Angharad. of course you'd think this.

Insolence is very aspec and the list of people he finds hot besides the friend OC we ship with him like mfing fedex is but four names long.

Astarion

Wyll

Aylin

Lucretious

he's not particularly impressed that apparently his bits consider Lucretious' incredible queen energy to outweigh the labor violations going on in the circus. and, you know. incredibly unimpressed with himself for finding Astarion hot.

5: Do they enjoy reading romance novels or watching romantic dramas (or even romantic comedies)?

Angharad has read Swords & Shields, but he isn't overly impressed. now, if someone handed him a gay romance novel, that would get him! but if he's going to devote the time to actually putting in the effort of READING, he's going to choose something to read to the kids.

Insolence is the king of "reading smut out loud with a straight face" from his temple days.

7: What gift would they be most delighted to receive from a suitor or lover?

man both of those boys would just utterly melt in "a GIFT? for ME?" for just about any kind of thoughtful gift tbh

Angharad loves flowers. so much. I wrote that fic w/ the Gift of the Magi trope and the little glass bluebird because that's what really gets him-- small, pretty, frivolous reminders that his home is Ferelden now. there are flowers and stars and sky.

for Insolence, it's more of a "paying attention" thing-- that you noticed him. he adores small practical gifts. jewelry and flowers are cute and all, but notice that he's running low on oil for his sword or bring him lunch and he'll melt.

[michelleelizabethtanner]

Do you ever just wish Rio got to see that batshit insane side of Beth she showed the audience? Like it’s less about comedy and more about the tension when it’s just them two, I get that, but she has such golden moments it’s almost a loss we didn’t see his reaction or anything.

Like when they were trying to smuggle boomer to him and he wasn’t complying so she held his grandmas ashes over a dumpster and threatened for that to be the final resting place- fuckinf insane and i love her for it. In my imaginary season 5 because Annie is in jail and Ruby isn’t around to rein in the crazy, I could see her going completely violent in her attempts to get Annie out of prison- she probably spirals and everything but while he’s trying to get his lawyer on the case and get Annie a retrial- she’s trying to bribe to inmates to start a prison riot so Annie can sneak out or some shit

I love her crazy side sm

You’re cracking me up. 😂 Because you’re right, how does he think she achieves all this stuff she keeps doing? Like, he’s had little glimpses. For example, her initial store robbery. I wish they would have kept the scene where he saw her on the security cameras. How she kicked that display over. I’m sure he was like, “Wow, what a woman.” 🤣🤣 And then when she got his Canadian printshop contact shot in the foot, but managed to bring in his funny money on time still, and not get caught. I just wonder what he thought of that. Trying to smooth it over with Mike like, “I’ll up your cut. I got some new bitches.” I’m sure that man is fully aware that she’s absolutely batshit. And he loves it.

Although, is Rio really any better? He’s fucking bananas, too. How he just brought her a gun in a paper bag while taking his son to the park. Or when he hid in a Corvette to spy on her and Dean. And then smashed up Dean’s prized possession. (Hehh, two of them. He smashed Beth, too. She just wasn’t as valuable to Dean as that cheesy bucket.) Don’t even mention the body parts he FedExed to her. Probably kept the tracking number, just in case. And how she was all, “He wants me back 🥰” instead of maybe like, “He’s crazy,” or, “Wow, this man is really unhinged, I should maybe stay away from him permanently.” Nope. She accepted them like they were an Edible Arrangement.

They know they’re both crazy. Just humping on Grandma’s bookshelf with the door open and Rio’s son right outside. Considering that the bathroom was right across the hall and they could have easily gone in there like normal people. Nope. He just stuffed his whole hand under her dress and then wiped it on Grandma’s wall afterwards. I wonder if she went back out to the party to get her purse? How embarrassing would that be? She took forever in “the bathroom,” and now she and Rio are walking out just minutes apart. She’s really fair so her chest was probably all red from sex flush. She probably said she had diarrhea, grabbed her boxy little purse, forgot her cardigan, and peeled out of that place ASAP as possible. 😂😂😂

[fedex-pornbot]

All I’m saying is if you need a big strong delivery man or 2 to deliver your toys and maybe come inside, FedEx is the way to go ;)