#you give me a wonderful gift in the excuse to make this post.

[somethingwittyandweird]

It's that time again! What's your favorite game you played this year?

Hope you're ready for a response to rival last year's post. There are so many good games that I have so much yapping to do about. And, if I may say so, this year was an accomplished one: I made some notable progress putting long-standing backlog titles to rest, as well as some new games that won me instantly. So, let's dive in...

We started off VERY strong with converting one of last year's “I watched this game and it was cool” to “I played this game and it was cool”: Hi-Fi Rush. It absolutely captivated me throughout. It has everything- charm, style, writing and characters that are heartfelt, hilarious, and over the top all at once- and most of all it has an incredibly natural evolution of the high-style high-precision action genre into a rhythm-based brawler where the world moves to the beat. Do I even need to mention it has, not one, but two banger soundtracks? It's a game I look forward to replaying (a rare praise from me), and one I know I'll be in love with for a long time.

Around the same time I was working my way through Sea of Stars- I've talked more about that here but it also really had me engaged as a modern love letter back to the SNES JRPG era. Visually stunning, musically lovely, satisfying gameplay, and a story that I felt gave its well written characters the space they deserved.

Once those were out of the way, I had my mission for the rest of the year: get this backlog CLEARED. Throughout the year, I knocked out:

Pokemon Ranger: Shadows of Almia: a game beloved by many growing up that had passed me by. Experiencing it for myself years later, I could tell that I would have poured endless hours into this DS title as a kid, and even today I loved it enough to 100% its quests and Pokedex. Absolutely killer writing and fun gameplay that still holds up today. I am glad I played it as an older adult though for one reason: at this age I know how not to harm my DS’ screen when drawing endless loops.

NEO TWEWY: A sequel to a cult classic I never thought I'd see but I was so, so happy to see it come back. The new game massively shook up the gameplay (it had to, TWEWY for DS is very literally inimitable) but fully kept the spirit and updated it. As the OG wore its 2000s teen culture loud, this game carried the torch forward and gave us the same charm with modern Internet culture. It brought back old characters in excellent ways, added great new ones, had some of my favorite kind of time travel writing moments, and did it all with style, flair, and a rocking OST. In every way a worthy successor to the OG.

Indivisible: Another game I wrote about elsewhere, Lab Zero's sadly ill-fated entry into action platforming. As I said there, I'm glad I could give myself closure on it and I was glad to appreciate the parts of it that did clearly shine- the delicious visuals and combat gameplay. Hopeful to see where those devs end up and what they'll contribute their talent to now.

Triangle Strategy: In terms of strategy games this was a foray outside my usual Fire Emblem interest zone, but it is my friend’s favorite game of all time, so I had to give it a go. The differences took some adjusting, but I ended up enjoying my time with the game. Combat was engaging, visuals had me oohing and ahhing in places, I liked the characters (Julio and Jens my MVPs). But the standout was the story- as deep and politically thrilling as I was promised it would be. The narrative voting/negotiation system offered me some cool moments of choosing my path (or one time having it chosen for me) which culminated in a really really well set up three-way ending split; it wasn't just choosing a side but choosing an ideology, and the characters who wouldn't abide that choice felt completely justified in their refusal to follow you. I didn't get the golden route, but I may go back someday. Without a doubt my best narrative game of the year. (Plus, the final boss of the route I chose was really really tactically engaging and I loved it as much as i feared it.)

Along the way, a few non-backlog titles did sneak their way onto the list…

Case of the Golden Idol: a visually quirky detective narrative puzzle game that scratched the same deductive itch as Obra Dinn, I had a lot of fun deciphering its ersatz mystery. Each chapter is a death tableau and you use clues and logic to piece together who is who, what is what, and what has happened, with each scene leading to a bizarre overarching narrative that makes you want to keep going just to see how wild it gets.

Death’s Door: A little soulslite adventure title about a reaper crow working for Death and trying to straighten up some loose ends. The environments are really well modeled (though a map wouldn't have gone amiss) and the combat system had a satisfying loop with some unique twists. Its final boss impressed me by being a spectacle fight through multiple zones that showed off the boss’ powers thematically, let you learn what the boss was doing in each phase, and wasn't a drag to retry (the usual danger with set piece fights that keep shifting areas). 

Blasphemous: One of those “classics” of the modern indie metroidvania space, and one of the first to get overtly Soulsy with it, I finally got the chance to try it and it showed me just why it deserves its "classic" status. The writing was very Souls and the platforming very vania, both excelling in their own way. I really loved the sheer variety of collectibles, that's a strong point in my heart for any metroidvania. I absolutely adored the music, a masterwork of Spanish guitar tracks I still listen to. And visually the game’s strong Spanish Roman Catholic aesthetic absolutely oozed artistic passion, and it was clear that so much work went into its visuals… including the surprising amount of (well-animated) gore. Which leads me to…

Nine Sols: if I had a nickel for every soulslike metroidvania I played this year that turned out to be quite unexpectedly graphic, these would be my two nickels. But content warning aside, I can't sing Nine Sols’ praise enough. Its gameplay was thoroughly polished and at every turn designed to help you feel like a kickbutt martial artist warrior, running up walls and surviving lethal enemies with perfect parrying and a unique attack to give that iconic ‘dash past enemy, beat, they explode’ rhythm to the fights. Then it sells that mastery by making enemies increasingly lethal, requiring more and more skill, but the floor never ramped hard enough that I was frustrated (though the last two bosses had me baffled for a while). Exploration felt rewarding with a lot of cool and useful items to find, and seeing this game’s beautiful blend of "Taopunk" futuristic + traditional Oriental environmental designs was a treat unto itself. And lastly, there's a gripping story that unfolds as you get to know its characters- Yi, your mysterious protagonist, the friends he makes, and the enemies he ruthlessly cuts down.

Are we done yet? Almost, I promise. 

As of writing I'm in the middle of Echoes of Wisdom and Ghost Trick, so those, while both great titles, will I think be their own posts. All that's left then is to acknowledge the games I played that I didn't, or couldn't, “beat:” the multiplayer ones.

I played a bunch of MtG with my friends, and I played a lot of Civilization VI with other friends, and those both took up many happy hours. If this wasn't too long already I'd tell you about unstoppable bunnies and definitely not werewolves, or my friends and I allying to conquer the world. But I knew when I got my switch recap today that there's a clear standout in hour count alone: It's not a surprise to you or to me, it's Splatoon freshwater-freaking 3. 

How could I not give it the most love for this year where I fell harder into it than ever before? Where my elite Salmon Runner friend helped me climb to dizzying new heights of EVP rank 999? Where I appeared on so many friend’s multiplayer streams for Splatfests and Big Runs? Where I took it upon myself to fill out my weapon collection 100%? Where I did Side Order runs until I knew every floor by name? Every one of those things has given me a cherished memory… but none more cherished than attending an honest-to-goodness music festival in this game, with my friends, reminiscing on past triumphs, on the importance of living in the present, and with the thrill of looking to the future. I loved Splatoon 3, and with the Grand Festival, it felt like the game, the devs, and the community gave me that love right back. 

That, among all of these games’ memories and experiences, is the one I think I'll treasure longest.

Video games are cool. I'm so, so glad they're real.

[wonderjanga]

Funny idea a Fawcet entirely just being full of magical drugs and everybody just chilling I'm just imagining a spell here the Justice League get hit with a de-aging spelling Fawcet that are now just stuck in there convince know that he knows what he's doing tricks them to believe in that he has a form where he can turn into a kid and teaches them everything about Fawcet City like the police to get the best cereal with the most edible yummy drugs

And how to make soup and stuff from rainwater and a bag of magical drugs that he's like soup if you boil them right

The JL had gone to Fawcett as a surprise for Marvel. They all wanted to give him a special little gift. Though unfortunately, Cap had been caught up fighting an evil witch. So they stood to the side, in civvies, and waited. That was until a stray spell from the witch happened to hit them. Next thing they knew, all of them, excluding Marvel, were children.

Marvel: “It should wear off in about a day.”

Flash: “A day? We have places to be!”

Aquaman: “Are you sure you can’t do some magic and reverse us?”

Marvel: *little frown* “I’m sorry but I can’t.”

See, the thing is, Billy actually could. But he wanted to use it to his advantage. If he could get them to think that his Billy form is just a form he can take, then in the future if he ever gets detransformed, this could be a good excuse. Since all of them were children, he just let them back to his apartment and shazamed back to Billy. Here are a collection of wonderful instances of their time together:

Billy: “Here’s a favorite treat of mine.”*gets out some cereal and puts it in a bowl, with no milk mind you*

Flash: “No milk?”

Billy: “No?”

Flash: “You are a vile creature…”

Billy: “Am not! I just like eating it as chips!”

Flash: “Oh that’s less vile than I thought- Wait, but then what do you use tfor the milk when you want to actually eat it as cereal?”

Billy: “Water?”

Flash: “I take back my statement about you being less vile.”

Billy: “Shush. Go get a little plastic baggy of white powder from one of the cupboards.”

Flash: “Aye aye, Captain.” *salutes before zooming off and coming back with the little baggy* “This?”

Billy: “Yeah, thanks. This is my special ingredient. Just scatter a little bit over it-” *scatters it over like flour* “-mix it,-” *shakes the bowl so it mixes in* “-and voila!”

Flash: *leans over to look at it* “What is it? Powdered sugar?” *takes a piece of cereal and eats it*

Billy: “No, cocaine.”

Flash: *spits it out onto the floor* “Dude, what the fudge!”

Supes: *peaks his head into the room in concern*

Billy: “Aw cmon, Flash. What the buck, man?” *sounds disappointed and looking at the chewed up piece of cereal on his floor*

Flash: “What do you mean what the buck?! You just made me eat cocaine-laced cereal!”

Supes: “What?!”

Billy: “I didn’t make you eat it. You ate it before I could tell you what it was!”

Flash: “Only because literally no one would suspect that you lace your own cereal with a hardcore drug!”

or

Doctor: “Ah Billy! You have another sibling?” *looks at Bruce* “Golly, he looks just like Patrick Wayne’s boy.(Ref my posts mentioning how every Fawcitizen thinks Bruce is Thomas Wayne) And who are these other little friends of yours? Why’s that one green?”

Billy: “He’s a Martian. He can’t control his shape shifting stuff yet. Anyways, can I please get my usual dose doctor?”

Doctor: “Of course, let me just get that for you.” *leaves and comes back with a little baggy of meth*

Billy: “Is that methamphetamine?”

Doctor: “No, it’s magic methamphetamine! Blessed by some faeries.” *gives it to Billy*

Billy: “Thanks, Doc!” *sees him on the bag of meth* “You want some?”

Batman: “Mmm… Yes.”

MM: “Bruce?”

Batman: “I want to study it. What’s wrong with that?”

Then, Bruce, Billy, and J’onn got back to the apartment, Billy made them all some soup. Soup that was made with magical herbs. Herbs that had intense hallucinogenic properties to those who aren’t from Fawcett. So while Billy was feeling a mild euphoria due to the herbs, everyone else was flipping hallucinating.

Hawkgirl: *in a corner intently staring at her hands because she’s hallucinating hung waaaay to many fingers*

Flash: *running up and down walls chasing a hallucination*

WW: *hallucinating being a cowboy and running around with a piece of string trying to lasso GL

Billy: *sleeping peacefully in his bed*

They all passed out together in a kid sleep pile on top of Billy after all this.

[cybrsan]

Miracle Of The Season �� J.JK

STORY SUMMARY: Cast out of Heaven after a painful betrayal, you find yourself having to navigate the intricacies of human life without any guidance from the Creator or the family you have always known. Things only get worse as the holiday season reaches its peak, with reminders of the life you left behind everywhere you look. When a familiar face pops up, you aren’t sure whether to consider it a blessing or a curse.

PAIRING: Angel Jungkook x Fallen Angel F!Reader

RATING/GENRE: M ; angst, fluff, smut ; second chance romance, angel AU, soulmate AU

WORD COUNT: 17.2k

WARNINGS: Heavy themes of religious trauma, an initially negative view of Christianity transforming into a more neutral/respectful view of individual faiths, initial dismissal of other religions, difficult self-growth journey, homelessness, very brief mentions of murder and rape

OTHER/NSFW WARNINGS: Sharing one-bed trope (kinda), mistletoe trope (teehee), first time, fingering, cunnilingus, hand job, unprotected sex

A/N: This is a lot. The story definitely got away from me, but I think that's because there was so much I wanted to say. I definitely could have made this longer, and if I had time/wasn't such a slow writer, I probably would have. It's a heavy topic, but it's one that is near and dear to my heart and one that I think a lot of people can relate to. If you do, I hope this story feels a bit healing.

A/N 2: This is based on the vibes of his song "Standing Next To You" and the m/v for it.

LINKS: Part of the Jingle All The Way! collab with my talented, wonderful friends. Cross-posted on AO3 and (eventually) Wattpad. Banner made by the lovely @kithtaehyung.

"—let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"

You take a deep, calming breath as you pass the carolers. Their cheerful voices grate on your nerves, but you keep your head down and continue walking. Lashing out at them won't do any good, even if it might give you a moment of satisfaction. It's not like they're the source of your irritation anyway; the crowded streets are abuzz with the unrelenting chaos of the Christmas season, and you have been on edge all morning. 

Turning a corner, you enter a street closer to the shelter you have been calling home for the past year and a half. Immediately, some of your tension dissipates, and you feel like you can breathe a bit easier. There are fewer lights here and less noise, but a few decorations still attract your attention, like a moth to a flame. A nativity scene is proudly displayed in someone's window, and you stop dead in your tracks.

"Freedom of religion, my ass," you mutter bitterly as you tear your gaze away. Why does everyone and their mother seem to celebrate this stupid holiday? 

You know that for many, Christmas isn’t necessarily a holy season. Some humans just use the holiday as an excuse to wear obnoxious sweaters, play the same song on repeat, and spoil one another with gifts. Yet reminders of the celestial realm, of the life you have been cast out from, are everywhere. The nativity, for one. Then there are the carolers singing their songs, and the cartoonish cherub decals that can be found on shop windows, holding banners that proclaim, “Buy one, get one 20% off!” Even the name of the holiday is marked by one of His monikers. Christmas. 

It makes you sick. 

The weather doesn't help, either. Drawing your coat more tightly around yourself, you try to ignore the relentless chill that settles deep in your bones. You’re definitely not dressed warmly enough, ill-prepared considering the sensation of being cold is something you’re still getting used to. It is yet another item you have added to your ever-growing list of "whys.” The question of why God created snow joins the ranks of "why did He make spiders?" and "why is He the most selfish being in existence?" 

You sniff. Perhaps you let your emotions get the best of you at times.  

Emotions. Another thing that’s somewhat new. As an angel, you didn’t really have those. The only thing you ever thought about was following orders and how better you could praise His name. Ugh. It’s hard to believe now that you were ever so single-minded. Though, towards the end, you suppose that wasn’t the case. It all went awry when you started this “list” of yours—when you started questioning things. 

The moment that doubt had first crept into your mind seems like a lifetime ago. Reaching the status of archangel was something you had been working toward for millennia. It was a position that allowed you to work more closely with humanity; you were able to actually guide their paths and alter their destiny. 

At first, it was everything you had ever wanted. The miracles that occurred because of your intervention made you feel like you were doing something worthwhile. But you quickly learned that not all of your missions would be quite as fulfilling. 

You will never forget the first time you were put in charge of administering a holy test. The man had done nothing wrong, yet your higher-ups still insisted that he needed to be "tried by fire." The divine reasons were beyond comprehension, or so you were told. But watching the man suffer as everything he loved was taken from him, seeing the desperation and despair in his eyes… It felt wrong. That feeling stayed with you even as you watched the man's faith remain unbroken. Somehow, that made it worse. 

And then there were those who committed sinful acts and escaped punishment. You saw murderers and rapists living their lives in peace while innocent souls suffered unjustly at their hands. The scales of justice seemed unfairly balanced, and you began to feel crushed by the weight of your guilt.

Thus, the degradation process began. For the longest time, you thought it was a myth, a scary story told to keep angels in line. If you doubt, if you disobey, you begin withering away into nothingness. You'll start to feel things, to lose your sense of purpose. It will be painful and overwhelming and, eventually, you'll cease to exist entirely. You were told that if it were to happen, you must report it to a superior at once. But you were terrified. 

There was only one person you trusted enough to share the way you were feeling—your other half, your celestial counterpart. The one who knew you like no other did. Your Astrom, Jungkook. 

There is an old celestial folk tale that documents the first creation of an Astrom pair. It is said God took one star and split it into two. Neither half could live without the other, nor would they want to. It is difficult to describe the way you felt for him, as angels are devoid of personal desires or emotions as humans experience them. It was simply as if being with him was as natural as breathing. He was the only being other than the Creator that you felt beholden to, that you admired. 

When you first revealed your doubts to him, he simply listened, displaying a level of patience that you found comforting. He answered your questions about morality, about justice as best he could, trying to reassure you that everything happened for a reason. Yet no matter how persuasively he argued, your doubts wouldn't go away. 

Eventually, you began to start contemplating letting yourself fall from grace. The thought was terrifying, but at the same time, there was a certain allure to it. To Fall meant to renounce your celestial responsibilities, and that included no longer having to inflict pain on innocent souls. 

When you confessed this dangerous thought to him, Jungkook gave you a look that you couldn't decipher. All you remember is what he said next: "If you Fall, I shall Fall with you."

His words had been unexpected, and you didn’t know whether to take comfort in them or not. You didn’t want him to share your fate, to bear the burden of your guilt. Could you live with yourself if he Fell too? The answer was an obvious no. But the mere thought of being alone in your struggle was something you couldn’t stomach either. So, you attempted to keep your dissent to a minimum and perform your duties as required. But it wasn’t long before everything fell apart regardless.

Eventually, you were discovered and brought before the celestial court. You were accused of blasphemy since questioning Him was an unforgivable sin and sentenced to Fall, to be cast out from the life you have always known. Yet, the real blow came when you found out who had betrayed you. 

Jungkook.

Your Astrom. 

The one you had trusted implicitly, the other half of your celestial star, had betrayed you in the name of divine loyalty. The pain of the Fall, the feeling of your grace ripped from your body, the scorching burn of your wings as they turned to ash—none of this could compete with the raw, gut-wrenching anguish of his betrayal. 

Even now, months later, remembering makes you feel as if you can't breathe, as if you might die. Every memory of him is like a punch to the gut, and the city, so full of noise and life, does nothing to drown out the agony. Some days, the pain is so vivid and unbearable that it feels as though you are Falling all over again.

A rough shove against your shoulder makes you stumble, and the man who ran into you barely grunts out an apology before continuing past. At least the disruption is a timely one, allowing you to pull yourself out of your thoughts before you spiral. There’s no point focusing on the past when there’s nothing you to do to change it, especially not when you have a myriad of new human concerns to deal with.  

Your job hunt was, once again, unsuccessful. You keep telling yourself that it’s because it’s so close to the holidays and you’ll have a better chance once the new year comes. In reality, you’re sure it’s because you have no experience, no schooling, and no useful knowledge.

At least you’re familiar enough with the city now that zoning out didn’t prevent you from getting to your destination. 

Lost Star Shelter.

The place you’ve been calling home. It’s certainly not perfect, but little on Earth ever is. You feel awful stepping past the crowd of people waiting outside its doors, knowing that they, like you, have nowhere else to go. You've been fortunate enough to secure your spot due to your volunteering efforts and the fact that the manager, Naomi, seems to have taken a liking to you. But not everyone is so lucky. 

You step inside, greeted by the familiar smells of disinfectant and something cooking in the kitchen. The place is buzzing with activity as usual—mothers trying to soothe crying children, elderly folks chatting away in groups, and a few lone souls quietly scrawling job applications. 

"Long day?" Naomi catches your gaze from behind the front desk, her warm smile a stark contrast to the weariness etched in the lines of her face. 

"Isn't it always?" You head over and pick up the clipboard she slides toward you, scanning your list of tasks for the day. As expected, it's long hours of mindless labor, but you don't mind. Not only do you need to earn your place here, but volunteering gives you a sense of purpose similar to your previous heavenly duties. And you have the satisfaction of knowing you're actually helping, not harming.

"First on the list," Naomi points to an item at the top of your clipboard, "is the donations room. We just had a big drop-off and could use some extra hands sorting through it all. But grab some dinner before you start, okay?"

You nod, her straightforward nature getting a slight smile out of you. "Yes, ma'am."

You navigate your way towards the crowded dining area, where a line of people has formed, waiting for their turn to get served. The cooks, all volunteers like yourself, are bustling about, serving portions of the day's meal which looks to be a thick stew accompanied by fresh bread. The food is simple but hearty, more than enough to keep you working through the evening. You make a mental note to slip into the kitchen later and thank them for their hard work.

You find an empty seat at one of the long tables that occupy the space, making yourself at home amongst the people who are engrossing themselves in their meals or with idle chatter. You even join in on a conversation with some older women across the table, who are engaged in a spirited debate about soap operas. Your knowledge of pop culture is sparse at best, but they seem delighted to fill you in on the latest drama, their laughter infectious. 

After your meal, you make your way towards the donations room. The sight of piled-up clothes, toys, blankets, and other items is both overwhelming and heartwarming. Naomi wasn't kidding when she said they'd received a large drop-off. It's a daunting task, but you roll up your sleeves and get to work. You start by sorting through the clutter, meticulously separating everything into various categories—men's clothes, women's clothes, children's clothes, etc., and items that need repairs or cleaning. Hours pass by unnoticed, the rhythm of work almost meditative.

Your thoughts inevitably wander back to Jungkook. A pang of longing shoots through you. He was the one who would always be by your side when you had to perform menial tasks like this in the celestial realm. You wonder what he would think of your new life. Does he look down on you from up high with pity or disdain, or does he simply not think of you at all? You aren't sure if you even want to know the answer. 

As time wears on, the room gradually becomes less cluttered and more organized. You're just about to take a break when Naomi appears at the doorway, her aging features softened by the warm glow of the hallway light behind her. She takes in your progress with an approving nod. 

"You've done well," she says, stepping into the room. 

You can't help but feel a sense of pride at her words. "Thank you, Naomi." 

She strolls around the room, her observant gaze sweeping over the sorted piles, her hands touching a few items here and there.

"It's amazing," she finally says, "how much kindness there is out there, even when it seems like everything is falling apart. No matter how rough things get, we can choose to be generous, choose to help others. That's what makes us human."

Her words resonate with you. You’ve seen the worst and best of humanity firsthand; the same species that wages wars also unite in times of crisis, offering support and showing kindness to total strangers. How much is influenced by higher powers and how much is purely human nature, you wouldn't presume to know. Your very existence has blurred the lines between supernatural influence and mortal will. 

"True," you say, looking up at Naomi from where you're still seated on the floor surrounded by donations. "That’s a nice way to look at things."

Naomi's smile broadens at that, and she gives one last cursory glance around the room before saying, "Well, I'll let you get back to work. Don't stay up too late."

"Goodnight, Naomi," you call after her as she steps out into the hallway, half-waving at you as she goes.

A little over an hour later, you step back to admire your work. Each item has been categorized, ready to be cleaned and redistributed. You move on to your next set of responsibilities: cleaning up the common areas and helping close up for the night. 

The smell of cleaning supplies clings to your skin as you make your way back to your sleeping quarters—a small, shared room filled with single beds. Careful not to disturb anyone, you move towards your assigned bed, its familiar creaks and groans echoing softly under your weight as you settle into it. Exhaustion pulls at your muscles, but you need to wash up and change before you sleep. 

You grab your shower caddy, change of clothes, and quietly make your way to the women’s bathroom. The fluorescent white lights flicker to life as you enter, revealing a row of curtained shower cubicles. You choose one at the end and let the water heat up as you undress. The hot water cascades over your tired body, soothing your muscles and washing away the sweat and grime that has built up throughout the day. 

Shower done and teeth brushed, you pull on fresh clothes and make your way back to your bed. As you settle back down under the covers, you notice something strange on your bedsheet. A crisp scorch mark is visible against the fabric, and when you observe it more closely, you're shocked to realize that the shape almost looks like… fingers? Your heart hammers in your chest. 

"Impossible," you whisper to yourself. 

The sight of these burns is not unfamiliar to you; in fact, you have been the cause of such marks before. It is a common occurrence when celestial beings interact with the mortal world—remnants of their powerful energy left behind. But as you stare at them now, a sense of unease creeps over you. Could it be Jungkook? The thought flickers through your mind, but you quickly brush it aside. Why would he make himself known in this way and then vanish without even seeing you? You can't allow yourself to hope. 

Dismissing the thought, you force yourself to rationalize that it must have been an accident. Perhaps someone burned it while it was being ironed. It’s easy enough to convince yourself; after all, it’s only three and a half slender marks—it could be anything. But the unease remains as you lay down on the bed, your mind filled with questions. You eventually succumb to sleep from sheer exhaustion, your dreams filled with memories of Jungkook.

The next day passes in a blur—the usual routine of job applications, food preparation, and cleaning duties. The burn mark on your bedsheet remains a mystery. You track down the volunteer who did the laundry, and she swears she wouldn't be so careless as to burn someone’s belongings. Despite her assurances, it's the only explanation you are willing to believe. You return to your bed to find that the sheet has been replaced with a fresh one, the burn mark gone as if it never existed.

You spot an older man sitting on a bed in the corner; his mouth moves silently, and the rosary beads dangling from his fingers lead you to believe he’s praying. A small, faux Christmas tree, no larger than a water bottle, stands on a box next to him. The sight stirs something with you, an uncomfortable feeling once again settling in your gut. You don’t understand his faith. How can someone continue to pray to a God that has obviously forsaken him?

You wait until the man finishes and safely tucks the rosary beads into his shirt pocket, right above his heart, before you approach.

“Excuse me?”

He looks up at you with a smile, eyes crinkling around the edges. "What can I help you with, dear?" 

"I noticed you praying," you begin tentatively. Despite your personal qualms with religion, you don’t want to seem as if you are disrespecting him or his beliefs. "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how do you keep your faith? Under these circumstances?"

He doesn't seem bothered at all by your blunt question. Instead, he chuckles softly and pats the bed beside him, inviting you to sit down. You hesitate a moment before complying.

"Faith isn't about having all the answers," he starts, his voice a mere whisper in the quiet room. "It isn't about being rewarded for good deeds or punished for bad ones. It's about hope. It's about believing that things will get better."

“Hope? Still? Despite… despite being here? I mean, aren’t you upset with God?” Your voice is barely above a whisper as well, a mixture of curiosity and frustration seeping into your words.

He remains silent for a while, his gaze wandering towards the small Christmas tree on the box beside him. 

"No, I'm not upset with God," he finally replies. "Man is given free will, and it is man who chooses what to do with it. Crisis, poverty… God didn't create these. They're the consequences of human choices." His words are sincere, spoken with a calmness that only comes from years of contemplation. "God doesn't promise us that life will always be easy or free from hardships. But He does promise that He will be there in those times of trouble. You see, faith isn't about expecting God to fix our problems, but about having the strength to face them."

“I envy your strength,” you admit with a hint of admiration in your voice.

“Strength is born from struggle, dear. You’ll find your way soon enough.” 

“I hope you’re right.”

The conversation lingers in your mind long after the man's words have faded into silence. You sit on your bunk, staring at the ceiling, pondering them. His unshakable faith is both alien and inspiring to you. Even when you were an archangel, before any doubts seeped into your mind, your faith was nothing like his. It was a duty, an obligation, a resolute certainty that was less about personal beliefs and more about the world you were born into. 

His mention of hope sticks out to you the most. You look around the room again, taking note of the different symbols of faith scattered across the room—crosses, menorahs, and even a small prayer mat in one corner. Each person in this room believes in something larger than themselves, something that gives them hope. And you? You're not certain what you believe in anymore. But maybe, just maybe, some of your anger has been misplaced. 

As the daylight fades, you find yourself wandering outside, the crisp evening air bringing a kind of comfort you couldn't find inside. You walk aimlessly, your feet following the now-familiar sidewalks. You end up in a park, and you make a seat for yourself on a deserted bench.

Looking up into the sky, now painted with hues of orange and pink, you let yourself miss Heaven for just a minute. To miss Jungkook. Even the Creator. You can never go back to worshipping Him, nor do you want to, but you can't deny the connection that once was. As much as you wish everything never happened, you are grateful for how much you've grown since. 

Suddenly, you’re disoriented by a bright flash of light and a shrill, piercing sound that makes your entire body jolt. You shut your eyes and cover your ears, but it does nothing to dull the pain. It's as if the noise is coming from inside your mind. You half-crawl, half-fall off the bench, curling in on yourself, unable to think anything, do anything, until it finally comes to a stop. 

The world pauses around you; the birds stop chirping, the wind stops blowing, and people are frozen where they walk. A familiar feeling washes over you, and your breath catches in your throat. You can’t bring yourself to open your eyes. Even in this form, even as a human, his presence calls to your very soul. You hadn’t realized how incomplete you felt, how empty you were, without him by your side. He’s your other half, and he always will be. The realization makes you want to cry. You had hoped after the Fall, after you became human, that would cease to be true. You can’t stand the fact that you’re still irrevocably tied to him, even after all that he’s done. As always, fate is cruel.

“Y/N.”

He speaks your name with a quiet reverence as if he can hardly believe you’re there in front of him. The familiar, honeyed tone of his voice reignites your longing for him with full force, but you still stubbornly keep your eyes closed. You can’t look at him. You aren’t strong enough.

“I cannot believe you are alive.”

What?

His statement shocks you enough that your eyes fly open of their own accord, and for the first time in months, you're met with the sight of Jungkook. You're not sure if you perceive him differently now that you are mortal, but he's even more captivating than you remember. 

His dark hair curls softly atop his head and is tousled ever-so-perfectly. His skin is beautifully tanned, and the way his tall figure is silhouetted against the sun makes it seem like he's glowing. His wings are obsidian, gargantuan in size, seemingly consuming the entire park with their reach. He's magnificent, so beautiful it hurts.

But it is his eyes that have you frozen in your spot—those beautiful, brown doe eyes, filled with so much emotion that it takes your breath away. He's not supposed to be able to feel unless… unless he has begun the degradation process, as you had.   

“Y/N,” he repeats, his voice trembling. "I thought you were dead." 

“I don't understand,” you manage to choke out, trying to sound more composed than you feel. You pull yourself to your feet, grimacing at the pain radiating throughout your body. How much of it is physical and how much is emotional, you can't tell. 

He takes a step closer to you, his hands outstretched as if to ensure that you're real, but you recoil instinctively. He flinches at your reaction but still grabs your arms, grip unrelenting even as you attempt to pull away from him. 

“Protective markings have been burned onto your ribs.” Hurt flashes across his features. “Were you hiding from me?”

“What? No.” You manage to break free and back up a few steps, putting some distance between you. You feel exposed and vulnerable under his gaze, remembering how he always seemed to know what you were thinking even before you did. "I didn't even know I had them."

"I need you to explain everything," he demands. 

“You need me to explain?" You scoff and cross your arms over your chest defensively. "What about you?”

“Me?” He tilts his head slightly, his confusion obvious.

“Yes, you!" You take a step closer, anger simmering just beneath the surface. "After all, you’re how I ended up in this situation, right?” 

“What are you talking about?”

"You betrayed me!" you hiss. “I confided in you, and you told me you understood. That you were with me. And then you turned around and proclaimed me a blasphemer!” 

He doesn’t respond right away, and it’s as if you can see the cogs turning in his head as he pieces things together. “Y/N… I would never.” 

His admittance makes you pause. Angels aren’t supposed to lie, though you know not everyone abides by that law. However, Jungkook has always been one of the most dedicated to the commandments. 

“That’s not what Namsu told me.”

“Namsu? The Throne?” 

“Yes, the Throne. The one who exiled me on the orders of up high.”

His eyebrows furrow. “You… were exiled? You did not wither?”

"Wither?" you scoff. "That's a myth, Jungkook. A cover-up to hide the fact that when angels start to stand up for what they think is right, they get cast out. And it's thanks to you that I'm here now."

"I… no." The intensity behind the word takes you aback. "I just wanted to help you; I thought you were sick. I went to one of the Cherubim for guidance—I would have never turned you in for some kind of punishment." 

His words hang in the air, making your heart pound in your chest. He was trying to help you? The thought sends a flurry of conflicting emotions through you. 

"Help me?" You repeat his words, mocking him in your disbelief. "Your way of helping got me exiled! Cast down and made mortal."

"I did not—" He cuts himself off, his gaze dropping to the ground. "I never meant for any of this to happen."

"Yet it did!" you snap, crossing your arms tightly around yourself as if they could somehow shield you from the pain his presence brings. "And now I'm here, and nothing will ever be the same!"

"I am so sorry." His apology is whispered so softly that you almost don't catch it. But you do, and it hits you like a punch in the gut.

Your head feels as if it's about to implode. He didn't purposefully betray you—in fact, he was trying to save you. But even so, his actions have led to your downfall, and now you're stuck here on earth, far from the light of Heaven, vulnerable and mortal, while he remains immortal and untouchable. Perhaps that's the part that hurts the most. The fact that now you are separated not by betrayal but by the very nature of your beings. 

Your voice cracks as tears fill your eyes. "If all this is true, then why wouldn’t you have looked for me?”

“I looked everywhere at first, but I could not sense you anymore.” If it was possible, you think he would be crying too. “Namsu is the one who told me what happened. He said that you… that your doubt consumed you, and you did not survive.”

The information hits you like a ton of bricks. Your knees almost give out for a second time, but Jungkook reaches out and grabs you by the elbows, steadying you. 

"I… I had no idea." A bitter laugh escapes your lips as you look up at him. "You didn't know anything, and I presumed the worst of you." 

His fingers tighten around your arms in a reassuring squeeze. "We can always start over, Y/N." 

"Start over?" you echo, incredulous. "You make it sound so easy."

"And why would it not be? We were not the ones to blame for our separation. Come back with me."

"I'm human now. The only way I can come back is… is if I'm dead."

His grip loosens, his face paling at your words. "I did not mean to suggest… Of course, I do not want you to die," he hastily corrects himself, glancing down at the ground. His wings flutter uneasily behind him, betraying his discomfort. "There must be another way."

"If there was, would it even be safe? I mean, why would Namsu do this?" you ask, staring at him. You're not sure if you're asking him or simply musing aloud. Even so, the question hangs heavily in the silence between you.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Jungkook speaks again. His voice is barely above a whisper when he says, "I wish I had the answers you seek, but I don't. All I know is that I will do everything in my power to rectify this situation." He turns away from you, scanning the horizon as if searching for something. "I need to return and confront Namsu. He must account for his actions."

"No, it's too dangerous. What if he forces you to Fall, too? You can't risk it, Jungkook." 

He looks back at you, his expression hardening. "I will not let him get away with this, Y/N," he says resolutely. "Deception is not a virtue of a Throne, especially not in such grave matters."

"And you won't let him, but you need to go about this carefully. Going to him directly won't work—he's too powerful."

Jungkook tilts his head, regarding you skeptically. "It almost sounds as if you are asking me to be deceitful." 

"Not deceitful, just… stealthy?" 

He doesn’t respond immediately, his brow furrowed as he mulls over your words. After a moment, he exhales slowly, pulling back from you to pace the grass in thought. "Stealthy," he repeats slowly, his voice distant. "That would require careful planning. Secret meetings. Misdirection."

"Yes," you agree, watching him closely. "All of that."

He stops suddenly, turning to look at you. "Very well. I will do whatever it takes to get to the bottom of this."

Your chest tightens, and you gnaw at your bottom lip. His resolve both comforts and worries you. You don't want him to risk himself for you, but part of you is happy that he is willing.

"However,” Jungkook breaks your train of thought. "It sounds like I may need to be a little bit more human to pull this off. After all, none of this comes easily to angels, but mortals lie all the time."

You raise an eyebrow. "And how are you going to achieve that?"

"You will have to teach me, of course." He says this as if doing so will be the easiest thing in the world. “The degradation process has already started for me, as I am sure you are aware. It should be easy.”

"You're serious?" 

Jungkook had always been so straight-laced, the epitome of angelic perfection. The idea of him playing at being human is almost laughable.

"Completely," he responds, his intense gaze never wavering. "I am willing to do whatever it takes to bring Namsu to justice and try to fix this. Fix us. If that requires adopting some mortal habits, then so be it."

"Alright," you finally concede, shaking your head in amusement. "Time for a crash course in 'how to be a human' 101."

He smiles faintly at that, the corners of his mouth tipping upwards just so. It's a small thing, barely noticeable amidst the tension still hanging heavily in the air between you two, but it's enough. Enough to remind you that the way you felt about him in Heaven, despite not being able to feel, was some kind of love. You don't know where that leaves you now or what you're going to do about it, but procrastination is another human skill you have come to love. Maybe you'll teach him that eventually.

"Lesson one," you start, pointing a finger at him in mock sternness. "Humans don't always speak so formally or in such grandiose phrases. ‘I am going to bring Namsu to justice' sounds archaic or like something a two-bit superhero would say."

His lips quirk upward into a more genuine smile this time. "I see," he replies, his voice deliberately casual. "So how would a human say it?"

"Well, for starters, you could use slang," you suggest. 

Jungkook’s brows furrow, an almost comical look of concentration on his face. “Slang,” he repeats, testing the word on his tongue.

“Yes, slang. Humans don’t always pronounce every single word, and they often come up with new, shorter words to replace certain phrases. You could say something like, 'Namsu’s gonna get what he deserves.'”

He nods, repeating your words slowly. “Namsu... is going to get what he deserves.”

You burst out laughing at his attempt. The prim, stoic angel fumbling his way through human speech? It is truly a sight to behold. 

"Laughing at my expense?" He feigns hurt, but there's a playful twinkle in his eyes that gives him away. "I guess that's lesson two then: humans are full of mirth and mockery."

"You're catching on quickly," you reply, still giggling slightly. “And yes, we like to laugh.”

He observes you a moment longer before finally allowing a soft chuckle to escape his lips. It's a deep, rich sound, but it feels tentative like he's not quite sure if he's doing it right.

“Laughing…" he murmurs, puzzling over the concept. “Such a peculiar expression of joy. But I like it." 

"As you should," you reply, a grin still playing across your face. "It's one of the best parts about being human."

Jungkook studies you for a moment, a smile tugging at his lips. "It suits you."

"Hm? What does?"

"Being human."

"I’m not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.” 

"There is a certain spontaneity in humans. A vibrancy that angels lack." Jungkook’s gaze intensifies, his voice lowering to almost a whisper as he steps closer. "It makes you shine more brightly. Like the sun."

He's so close to you now that you can make out the subtle flecks of gold in his eyes. Your heart pounds in your chest as his words wash over you, warming you from the inside out. 

"That—" You clear your throat, trying to steady your shaking voice. "That sounds like a compliment."

"It is," he confirms, his gaze flickering down to your lips for a brief second before rising back to meet your eyes. "But it is also an observation. A fact."

You want to kiss him. The thought shocks you—you've never kissed someone before, let alone wanted to. It must be a human impulse. You can't help but imagine what it might feel like, the warmth of his lips against yours, his skin beneath your fingertips. You want to feel his hand on your cheek, his fingers tangling in your hair. But the danger of your respective positions impedes that thought, and you push it down. He's an angel. You're not. Him being your Astrom, the connection you had before your Fall, none of it matters now.

"Okay," you manage to squeak out, trying to ignore the electricity that seems to be sparking between your too-close bodies. "Human lesson number three: we're big on personal space."

"Oh?" Jungkook raises an eyebrow but doesn't step away. "Is this too close?"

You swallow hard. "A bit."

You swear you see a hint of mischievousness cross his features before he complies, stepping back just enough to leave a sliver of space between you. "Better?" 

"Now you're just teasing me," you retort, though there's a soft smile playing on your lips.

"Is that frowned upon?" 

"No," you admit. "In fact, it's quite human of you. Now, it’s time for a real challenge." He looks at you quizzically. "We have to convince Naomi to let you stay at the shelter." 

"Ah," he nods, understanding dawning on him. "I see. Another part of being human—negotiation."

"Exactly."

"Then lead the way." With a snap of his fingers, time resumes for the two of you and his wings have disappeared, making him appear fully human, and you head back to Lost Star.

"Naomi, please," you beg, giving your boss the best puppy eyes you can muster. "He needs a place to stay." 

Naomi crosses her arms over her chest and drags her gaze over Jungkook in a way that suggests she's scrutinizing every cell of his being, from the top of his head down to the tips of his toes. "There's no extra beds, hun. I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do." 

"Then he can stay with me!"

"You and him, sharing that tiny little twin bed?" She scoffs. "I'd like to see you try."

"We'll make it work!"

"It's still against the rules. One body to one bed." 

"I know it's not ideal, but just for a few days until we figure out something else," you urge her. "I wouldn't be asking you this if it wasn't important." 

Jungkook steps forward, interjecting smoothly, "I will respect the rules, and if you feel my presence is harmful or disruptive in any way, I will leave immediately." 

Naomi looks between you and Jungkook, and then she sighs, throwing her hands up in defeat. 

"Fine, but only for a little while. And you can't sleep in the main room. Take my office—the couch is a pull-out."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" You pull her into a hug that she returns with a loving exasperation. 

"If there's even a whiff of trouble, both of you are gone, understand?" 

"Yes, ma'am! I wouldn't expect anything less." 

You grab Jungkook’s hand, dragging him along behind you as you lead him through the shelter. You pass through some of the busier living areas, and it's as if everyone can’t help but stare at him. You can only assume that, despite his wings being hidden, he still emits some sort of otherworldly aura that draws people in. Plus, by human standards, you suppose he's quite attractive. 

Jungkook seems unbothered by the attention, too focused on his surroundings and curiously taking in every detail.

"All these people live here?" he asks, incredulous. "This place is quite small." 

"Shh! Lesson four: lower your voice when you're talking about other people. The last thing we need is for someone to overhear and think you're judging them." 

"Apologies," Jungkook replies, his voice dropping to a whisper. "But my previous comment was not meant to be judgmental. I’m just… surprised. I thought humans usually lived in family units, but everyone here doesn't seem to be related." 

I’m. Doesn’t. He’s already using contractions—you must either be a good teacher or he’s a quick learner.

"You're right," you agree, and as you glance around, your heart aches a little. "Not everyone is fortunate enough to have that. This place is for those who have lost their families or homes." 

"Lost their homes? Like in a fire?" 

"Sometimes. Or maybe they didn't have enough money to pay their taxes." 

"I don't understand. Are there not enough homes for everyone? Why do you need to pay for such a basic need?"

You pause, the innocence of his question hitting you surprisingly hard. Of course he wouldn't understand the complexities of human society, of money and social class, of poverty and wealth disparity. You didn't either; at least, not until you Fell and were forced to figure it out. 

"That is a complicated issue," you admit, running a hand through your hair. "And not all humans agree on how to solve it. Some people think everyone should have a home, regardless of whether or not they can pay for it. Others think that if you can't afford it, you don't deserve one."

He looks so confused that you would be tempted to laugh if the tone of the conversation wasn't so serious. "That doesn't seem fair. In heaven, everyone has a place."

"Yes, well, Earth isn't heaven." There's a bitterness to your words that you hadn't intended. "And why our Creator chooses to leave things like this is a mystery to me. I mean, why not use some of His power to help?"

"The ways of the Almighty are impossible for us to understand," Jungkook quietly replies. "And it's not for us to question."

You snort in response, crossing your arms over your chest. "Well, aren't you a dutiful little angel?" 

Jungkook frowns, clearly not understanding your sarcasm. You sigh and shake your head.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook. It's just hard to wrap my head around sometimes. It's why my so-called degradation process started in the first place. Look at them—" You gesture to the people huddled together around the small television in the corner of the room, others sharing a meal or helping to care for the younger children. "They're good people. Why do they deserve to suffer?" 

Silence lingers between you for a moment. When he responds, he doesn’t answer your question. “Their heavenly rewards shall be plentiful as long as they keep to their faith.” 

“Does that make all of this okay?" You scoff. "Why are they being tested like this? In fact, why do they even need to believe at all to be given a home in the celestial realm? If a person is good-hearted, why isn’t that enough?”

Jungkook looks away from you. "I don't like these questions."

“You don’t like them? Or you don’t like how uncomfortable they make you feel?” 

Before he can even bother replying, you let go of his hand and open the door to Naomi's office, hurrying inside, eager to get some space. It's small and cramped, filled with stacks of paper, an old wooden desk strewn with an old computer and various office supplies, and a well-worn couch wedged against the wall.

"It's not much," you say. "But it's home for now, I guess."

"Home," Jungkook repeats softly, eyes scanning the room. He zeroes in the billboard behind Naomi's desk, filled with photos of smiling people, letters from those that she has helped. A smile tugs at his lips. "It's nice."

"You say that now. Just wait until you're trying to sleep and a couch spring is digging into your back." 

"I don't actually need to sleep," he reminds you. 

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. "Right, I forgot. At least we won't be fighting for the blanket."

"I can pretend to," Jungkook offers, a spark of amusement in his eyes. "The idea of laying next to you is not unwelcome." 

You blush, taken aback. "W-what… you…" You take a deep breath. "No, that won't be necessary. And lesson five: don't flirt with people unless you mean it." 

"What is 'flirt’?”

"Flirting," you explain, trying to keep your blush under control, "is when people say or do things that suggest they're attracted to each other."

"I see." He pauses for just a moment before asking, "And how do I know if I'm attracted to someone?"

You sigh exasperatedly. Who knew teaching an angel to be human could be so tiring? 

"It's… well, it's kind of hard to explain. Especially because, as an angel, you don't really feel, at least not until the degradation process is nearing its end. But basically, it's like you have an inexplicable urge to be around this person a lot. You think about them often, their happiness makes you happy, and you want to be closer to them, maybe even touch them or hold them. Some people also might feel their heart beat faster, or a fluttering in their stomach." 

As you speak, Jungkook’s eyes never leave yours. They gleam with curiosity and understanding, drinking in every word you say. He seems to be processing the concept, and then he suddenly smiles. "So, like how I feel about you." 

Caught off-guard, you blink at him, speechless for a moment. And then the panic seeps in. 

"No, Jungkook, that's not correct," you insist, your words tumbling out in haste and denial. "You can't… we can't… you're an angel. I'm—" Fallen, you want to say. Human, you need to say. But you don't. 

"Why not?" he asks simply, his gaze steady. 

"Because!" You scramble for an explanation, desperate to avoid the truth of your own feelings stirring within you. "Because angels aren't supposed to feel that way."

"But I am no longer a pure angel," Jungkook counters. "The degradation process has begun. We discussed this already."

"But that doesn't matter! The whole reason we are doing this is so you can learn the skills you need to figure out a way to stop Namsu from forcing anyone else to Fall. Once you do, you'll be able to stay in Heaven because withering isn't real." Before he can say anything else, you open the door. "I'm gonna grab my stuff from my bed. I'll… I'll be back in a second." 

You slam the door behind you, leaving Jungkook alone in the room. It's a struggle to keep your composure as you head towards your bed. All you can think of is his words, the nonchalance with which he said them. You can feel your traitorous heart yearning for him, but you can't let it sway you. Whether it was an accident or not, his betrayal led to your Fall. Led to you being human. And he's an angel. No matter what you feel or what he thinks he feels, nothing can happen between you now. 

As you gather your meager belongings, the man you spoke with earlier approaches you with a sympathetic expression. "You alright, dear? You didn't get evicted, did you? I'll give Naomi a piece of mind if that's the case." 

"No, no," you quickly reassure him with a forced smile. "My… my friend needs a place to stay for awhile, and there's a one body to one bed policy. Naomi was kind enough to let us use the couch in her office for a few days until we figure something else out."

"Your friend, hm?" His eyes twinkle mischievously. "That fellow you walked in with? Can't say I blame you. He's quite a looker."

"It's not like that," you blush, hurriedly stuffing the rest of your belongings into your bag. "Anyway, don't worry. You'll still see me around." 

The man grins and gives you a friendly pat on the shoulder. "I'm glad to hear it. This place would be much drearier without you."

You bid him goodbye with a wave and make your way back to Naomi's office, feeling like you're walking towards the edge of a cliff. As you open the door, you find Jungkook staring out the window. The streetlight spills in through the gap in the curtains, bathing him in a soft glow. He turns as you enter. 

"Gathered your belongings?" he asks, his voice calm as if the previous conversation never happened. For a moment, you feel robbed—does he not understand the gravity of what he said? But you suppose it's better this way. Easier, at least. 

"Yes," you respond, a bit more brusquely than intended, setting your bag down on the floor. He's still staring at you, and you flush under his gaze. "I'm just going to set up the couch. And stop staring at me so intently. Humans get nervous about stuff like that."

"Another lesson," he remarks. "Understood." Jungkook watches you for a moment longer, then turns back to the window without a word. 

You get to work, unfolding the couch and covering it with your bedding. The silence between you is thick; you can feel the tension radiating off of Jungkook despite his apparent calm. Your heart pounds in your ears as you busy yourself with smoothing out some wrinkles in the sheets, a futile distraction. 

With a deep breath, you break the silence. "Alright, I'm done." 

Jungkook turns to look, and his eyes scan the makeshift bed you've prepared. "You've made it look inviting." 

"Should be okay for a few nights," you reply curtly, avoiding his gaze. "I'm, uh, gonna go ready for bed. I know you don't sleep, but feel free to sit at her desk or something. Make yourself comfortable." 

You exit the room and head down the hallway to the bathroom, leaving Jungkook alone with his thoughts. You can’t shake off his confession and your own rush to deny him. The truth of your feelings, or rather the depth of them, is something you aren't ready to face.

After getting ready for bed, you hesitantly return to Naomi's office. The door creaks upon opening, and Jungkook turns from where he's seated at Naomi's desk, looking up at you with his intense gaze.

"Goodnight," you say softly, trying not to let your voice betray how uneasy you feel.

Jungkook nods. "Goodnight," he replies, and his voice is gentle, concerned. You feel a pang of guilt at the distance you've created between the two of you but say nothing more, falling into a fitful sleep.

Sometime during the night, Jungkook figured out how to work Naomi's dinosaur of a computer and discovered the wonderful thing that is the internet. When you wake, he flocks to your side like an excited child, eager to share everything he has learned about humans, their emotions, and their behavior.

"Slow down, Jungkook," you chuckle, holding up a hand to halt his barrage of words. "I can't absorb all of that at once."

"Oh," he says, blinking in surprise. "I forget that human minds process information more slowly. Should I take this as another lesson?"

You shrug, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Sure, go for it."

Despite the tension last night and everything unsaid between the two of you, you find yourself falling into an easy rhythm with him. He's eager to learn and keen on understanding humanity—your humanity. Throughout the day, he continues his studies, glued to the computer screen as you complete your daily volunteering. He takes breaks every once in a while to come find you and ask questions.

"I've come across some terms that are perplexing," he says, leaning on the front desk as you catalog some information. "'Memes' and 'emojis' appear prominently in human interactions online, but I don’t really know what they are or how they’re used.”

You answer question after question until you realize you aren’t getting work done, so you have to come up with a plan B. Leading him back to Naomi’s office, you pull up Netflix on the computer. Jungkook watches the screen in fascination as you explain streaming and scroll through all the shows. 

"Let's try Friends," you say, clicking on the thumbnail. 

You leave him to watch as you finish up your tasks for the day, checking occasionally to see that he’s still engrossed in the show. Instead of constantly badgering you with questions, he writes them on a notepad you provided and waits until the end of the day to go over them with you. You answer each one as best you can, completely endeared by him. 

It's during one of the show's more depressing moments that he asks you about lying and betrayal, echoing the heavy undertones from the other day. His question takes you by surprise, his gaze focused intensely on your face as he waits for an answer.

"Lying is a tough one," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "Sometimes it's out of fear or selfishness. Sometimes people lie because they're trying to protect themselves."

"And betrayal?" Jungkook asks, his voice unnaturally calm.

You sigh, looking down at your hands. "Betrayal… it's when someone breaks your trust. It hurts, Jungkook. It hurts a lot."

He watches you for several long moments before finally speaking again. "I see," he says softly. "And that's what you thought I did to you?"

You swallow hard, feeling the knot in your chest tighten. "Jungkook," you start, but falter, not knowing how to put your feelings into words. 

"I did not mean to betray you," Jungkook continues. "I realize that my actions may have led you to believe that I deceived you, but it was not my intention. I'm sorry."

"I know." You believe him completely, but the wound is still so fresh that you can’t bring yourself to fully trust him again. Not yet. "I know you didn't mean to, but an apology doesn't fix everything. Consider it another lesson—trust, once broken, isn't so easily mended." 

Jungkook plays with the skin around his nails, an anxious habit he seems to be developing the more human-like he becomes. After a moment, he says, "I understand. I will try harder."

"Try harder doing what?" 

"To understand you better. To understand all humans more, their emotions and their beliefs. Maybe understanding what trust really is will teach me how to earn it back and make up for my mistakes." He's so earnest, so genuine, it almost brings tears to your eyes. "I think I want this as much as I want Namsu to answer for his crimes, if not more. And maybe that makes little sense, but maybe… maybe that's quite human of me." 

"And maybe that's progress," you say softly, looking at Jungkook with newfound hope. 

Your new normal is spending your days with your time split between performing your volunteering duties and teaching Jungkook all about human life. 

Christmas is only a week away now, and everyone around you seems to be buzzing with excitement. At this point, even the inside of the shelter has been decorated. The hallways are lined with lights and garlands, and the common areas even have a few trees set up with donated presents underneath. And, as much as you have dreaded the holiday, you can't deny that watching Jungkook experience it for the first time makes you hate it a little less.

Despite the initial stiffness that comes with being an angel unfamiliar with human life, he has quickly adapted to life at the shelter. He's kind and patient, and he’s always eager to help out where he can. The children, in particular, have taken a liking to him. He's become their favorite storyteller and always has the kids hanging onto his every word. 

One afternoon, you find him sitting with them, singing a song in an ancient celestial language. Everyone will assume it’s some gibberish language he’s made up for one of his stories, but it reminds you of home. His voice is beautiful, melodic and soothing, with a honeyed quality to it that would make anyone stop and listen. 

You stand in the doorway and watch, a smile tugging at your lips. He catches your eye and winks, the action so human and unexpected that it startles a laugh out of you. The children turn to see what's so funny, but you just shake your head, telling them to continue listening.

He comes to you when he finishes, smiling brightly. "Did you enjoy the song as well?" 

"I did," you reply truthfully, your heart fluttering at his attention. The feelings you have been trying to resist are becoming increasingly persistent the more time you spend with him. 

"That's good to hear.”

Suddenly, the kids clamor over to you both, giggling and pointing at something above you. You look up, and all the color drains from your face. Mistletoe. Who the hell put it here?

Jungkook looks between you and the mistletoe, obviously confused. “Why are you angry with that plant? It’s quite beautiful.”

“It’s a tradition, of sorts.” You say the word with disdain. “When a couple—not that we are one—walks under the mistletoe, they’re supposed to kiss.”

“Kiss?”

“We don’t have to, it’s stupid—” 

“No, let’s do it. It's a part of the human experience, right? Let's consider it another lesson."

Heat rushes to your face, and you stutter incoherently, looking around the room for a way to escape. But the children are watching expectantly, their eyes wide and eager. You swallow hard, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Alright… close your eyes," you tell him.

He listens obediently, his eyes fluttering closed. You had never noticed just how long and pretty his eyelashes were until now. Bracing yourself, you take a deep breath and lean in, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. When you pull back, you're greeted with a perplexed expression as he opens his eyes.

"That was nice," he says after a brief pause. "But that’s really what a kiss is? In the show, they did it a bit more like—"

He leans in to demonstrate what he means, his lips brushing against yours. It's soft and a bit awkward at first, but he quickly gets the hang of it, pulling you closer. Against your better judgment, you let him, allowing yourself to get lost in the moment. His lips are softer than you would have expected. His fingers lightly squeeze your waist, sending a jolt of electricity through your body, and it's not until you hear some of the children giggling that you are reminded you have an audience.

You quickly pull away, breathless and flushed with embarrassment. Jungkook, however, is grinning from ear to ear. "That," he says. "That is how they did it."  

"Again! Again!" one of the kids shouts, pulling at your arm. 

Jungkook chuckles at his enthusiasm. "I think we should get back to our story," he says, ruffling the boy’s hair lovingly. Then, turning back to you, he murmurs, "Thank you. For the lesson." 

You can barely speak coherently, but you manage to squeak out a small “you’re welcome” before rushing out of the room. How on Earth are you supposed to get your tasks done now? It's impossible to focus, your mind running in circles over his touch, the feel of his lips against yours.

When you return to Naomi’s office later that night, you’re relieved to see that Jungkook isn't there yet. You take a moment to sit on the edge of the bed and process your thoughts, your fingers tracing absentmindedly over your lips. A shiver passes through your body, a heat blooming in the pit of your stomach. You drop your hand, clenching it into a fist to stop the trembling.

"Nervous?" a voice asks, startling you out of your thoughts. Jungkook is standing in the doorway, watching you with an unreadable expression.

"I… no," you say. 

"Don't lie," he chides gently, sitting next to you on the bed. “I can tell when you do that now, you know.” He keeps to a respectful distance, but he turns his gaze to you. “I think I'm starting to really understand this human thing. Emotions and all that.”

"Is that so?" 

"Yes. They can be painful sometimes but also quite beautiful." 

You watch as he turns his gaze back towards the room, and silence stretches between you again. However, it’s different now from how it used to be; it's not awkward or unsettling, but comfortable. His vulnerability makes you want to be honest, to admit to the way you feel.  

Just as you’re about to say something, he continues, "But now it's time for me to learn about something else. I need to start strategizing for the coming confrontation."

"Right, Namsu," you say. You almost forgot about Jungkook’s original intentions. You clap your hands and get up, heading to the computer. "Alright. Let's research."

With Jungkook sufficiently prepared, the time soon comes for him to return to the celestial realm. However, he insists on leaving at night, so he can spend the day with you. He referred to it as "a date," and you practically tripped over your own feet, much to his enjoyment. He has certainly developed a penchant for teasing you.

You decide to take him into the heart of the city, so he can observe people in their natural element. There seem to be even more decorations than you remember, and people are bustling about to finish their last-minute shopping. However, you find yourself handling the chaos a lot better with Jungkook by your side. 

He hasn't let go of your hand since you stepped out of the shelter, his thumb lightly rubbing circles over your knuckles. Every once in a while, he squeezes it lightly, a silent assurance that he’s there. Whether he notices your nerves and is doing it to comfort you or is doing it because he wants to, you're grateful for it.

His doe eyes dart this way and that, eagerly drinking in the scenery. You try to explain what everything is—the office buildings, luxury apartments, and tiny shops buried in alleyways—but he's more interested in the people. It isn't until you stop in front of a Hindu temple that his attention is finally captured by a building. He cocks his head to the side, eyes wide in wonder as he takes in the sight of it. The temple is a beautiful structure, with elaborate carvings and statues lining its walls. 

"What is this place?" he asks, his voice full of awe.

"It's a place of worship for those that practice Hinduism," you explain.

His eyes sparkle with interest as he takes a step closer to the building. "Can we go inside?"

You glance at him, surprised by his request. But something in his earnest gaze breaks down your hesitation. "Sure," you say softly, leading him inside.

The inside of the temple is even more impressive than the outside. There are vibrant murals depicting different gods and an intoxicating scent of incense that fills the air. You gesture to the bell at the entrance. “Would you like to ring it?”

“What’s it for?” he asks, picking it up gently. 

“It’s supposed to be a way to announce your arrival to the deities.” 

Jungkook shakes it, the twinkling of the bell echoing in the large room. “Pretty,” he remarks as he places it back where it belongs.

He then follows your lead as you move towards the main shrine, your heart pounding in your chest as you realize what you're about to do. An angel of the Christian God at the altar of a different one? You're almost afraid you'll be struck down where you stand. 

He takes in the offerings with a small smile. "It's all quite beautiful," he remarks. "It's a shame that their gods aren't real." 

You know Jungkook means no harm and that it is what he has been conditioned to think for thousands of years, but you still bristle at his easy dismissal of their beliefs. “We’re real. Our God is real. Who’s to say the gods of their religion are not?”

"There is one God. That is what we were taught."

"Yes, it is. But we were also led to believe the withering was real. Just because it is said does not mean that it is true.”

Jungkook is silent for a moment, eyes still fixed on the offerings. Then he turns to you. "You truly believe that?" 

"I don't know," you confess, feeling a little exposed. “I don't know what I believe anymore. I'm just… questioning. It's complicated." 

"You have given me a lot to think about," he admits, his tone quiet. “For all I know, you might be right. I shouldn't have dismissed their beliefs so easily. I apologize.”

You stare at him in surprise; you hadn't expected him to back down so easily. "It's okay," you reassure him. "I'd say being open-minded is another lesson, but unfortunately, not all humans are."

You continue to walk around the city, introducing Jungkook to as many things as possible. Everything he does fills you with affection, whether it be him trying hot dogs from a street vendor and declaring them divine, or joining some kids who were playing soccer in a park. At one point, he kicks the ball so hard that it lands in a tree branch, and you can’t help but laugh as he clumsily climbs up to retrieve it.

When night falls, you end up at the pier, watching the shimmering water beneath the stars. Jungkook is oddly quiet, looking out at the horizon with a distant expression. The silence isn't uncomfortable, but it does leave you feeling a little uneasy. You reach for his hand, and he startles slightly before turning to look at you. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" you ask.

He smiles slightly. “I’m guessing that’s some sort of human expression, and you’re not actually going to give me a penny.”

“You would be correct.”

“I’m thinking about a lot of things.” He exhales as if letting out a breath he has been holding. "You, for one. But I'm always thinking of you so that much isn't a surprise." You blush and swat at his arm. "But I’m also thinking about my beliefs."

"What about them?"

He takes a moment to get his thoughts in order, grabbing your hand more tightly as if you're his anchor in a stormy sea. He answers your question with another. "What if everything we have been taught is wrong? I mean, we have never spoken with the Almighty directly. Angels, apostles, they can all take His words and twist them for their own purposes. We've seen it in action with Namsu, and with how the Bible has been changed to promote hatred." 

You're taken aback by his frankness, the depth of his vulnerability. You have no answers for him, but you can relate to him and offer what little understanding you have come to have.

"So maybe it is wrong, and things have gotten taken out of context or changed as the years have gone on. Like you said, we cannot talk to Him, so we can’t ask for the truth. Or, maybe it is all part of a bigger plan, and unwavering faith is the answer.” You pause, steeling your resolve, before continuing, “But it isn’t for me. I can’t live that way. But how you decide to live is your choice. Who you are is your choice. I cannot decide that for you, and neither can He.” 

He frowns. "I don't know how to make that choice. Who even am I? What am I without my purpose? Without Him?"

"Perhaps we're not defined by a single purpose we've been given," you answer quietly. "Maybe we're more than that."

"More than our purpose?" 

"Yeah," you say, a soft smile tugging at your lips. "Maybe we don't need a purpose. Maybe it's okay to just exist." 

Jungkook’s gaze turns thoughtful, considering your words as if they are the most precious thing in the world. "Just exist," he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper. After a moment, he stands up, looking at you with a newfound fire blazing in his eyes. "I need to return. I will talk to some of my confidants, gather information, and then confront Namsu." 

You knew it was coming, but your stomach still drops. You're scared for him, for what will happen when he leaves. But you see the determination in his eyes, the steel in his gaze. You know better than to try and stop him now.

"You'll be careful, right?" you ask, your voice shaking slightly.

"I will."

He pulls you up and envelops you in his arms. His embrace is comforting, protective, and for a brief moment, it makes you forget about all your worries.

"Promise me," you whisper into his chest. 

"I promise," he says, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your back. He pulls away after a moment, but not before brushing his lips against your temple. "I will return. For you."

His words weigh heavy in the air as he pulls away fully, breaking the physical contact between you two. His gaze lingers on you for another moment before he turns away and disappears into the night. You're left standing on the pier alone, the cold wind making you shiver. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you head back to Lost Star, where you have nothing to do but wait.

It’s Christmas Eve before you know it. The holiday you have been dreading feels even worse with Jungkook’s absence, and frankly, you don’t know how to handle it. You plaster a smile on your face for the sake of the children, playing along with their excitement over what presents they are going to get and stories of Santa Claus. But every time someone brings Jungkook up, wondering where he is, you feel tempted to run to Naomi’s office and hide.

Speaking of Naomi, she has been keeping a close watch over you, mothering you as per usual. You know she can tell that something has happened. Once you step away from the festivities to do some of your work, she pulls you aside.

“Honey, what’s going on? These days you seem so out of it; you’re just flitting around room to room, acting like a ghost.” When you don’t answer, she frowns. “It’s because of that boy, isn’t it?”

"He… he needed to go home. He had some things he needed to figure out," you manage to say. It's not a lie, just an oversimplification of the truth.

She wraps an arm around you. "He's going to come back. I saw the way he looked at you, and you at him. And if he doesn't, well, screw him."

"Naomi!" 

"Sorry, sorry. He was sweet and all, but you're my girl. I'll always have your back." Naomi declares, patting you on the back. 

You accept her comfort, fighting back your tears. If only she knew your fear didn’t revolve around him coming back—of course, part of you is scared that something will happen to him, but the rational part of your brain, the part that knows his strength, has no doubts he'll be alright. In actuality, your biggest fear is that he won't be able to stay with you, and you’ll have to go through the pain of losing him all over again.

He's an angel. You're human. There's no future there. Your traitorous heart made you fall harder and harder for him without sparing that a moment's thought, and now you have to will yourself to accept that you'll always be in love with someone you cannot have.

The rest of the day passes in a blur, nothing but forced cheer and mindless chatter. Naomi sticks by your side as much as she can, making sure to redirect everyone who asks you questions about Jungkook. You're grateful for her presence, her constant support, and now more than ever, you realize how lucky you truly are to have her in your life.

As soon as everyone is in bed and your tasks for the day are done, you seek out the solitude of the pier once again. You've been coming here daily since he left. A sentimental thing, mostly, since it was the last place you saw him. But you also hope each night will be the night he returns.

The wind is strong tonight, the kind that chills you down to your bones, and the stars are hidden behind the clouds. You wrap your scarf more tightly around yourself, gazing aimlessly at the turbulent water. Suddenly, there's a bright light and a shrill noise. You aren't scared this time, and it's not nearly as overwhelming as it was. He must have tempered it somehow, made it less painful for you.

The light fades, leaving behind a figure that is unmistakably Jungkook. The sight of him fills you with such relief and happiness that you rush forward, throwing your arms around him. He envelops you in his arms, his wings folding around you, a sigh of contentment escaping his lips as he buries his face in your hair.

"I missed you very much," he says, breathing deeply.

"I missed you too," you whisper, tears prickling at your eyes. "I knew you'd come back."

"I said I would, didn't I?" he teases, pulling away just enough to look at you. "And I have news."

"What happened?" 

You stay locked in his embrace as he speaks, bringing one of your hands to his face to stroke his cheek, to follow the line of his jaw with your fingers. He lets you, as eager to feel your touch as you are to feel his.

"I confronted Namsu," he begins. "But I wasn't alone. There were other angels who had started the 'degradation' process, those who were too fearful of retribution to say anything. I told them everything, and we confronted the other Thrones about Namsu and everything he had done. They didn’t approve of his actions, and they punished him for it." 

"Really?" You ask, eyes wide with surprise. "Just like that? They believed you?"

A soft laugh bubbles up from him. "It wasn't quite that simple. There was plenty of arguing, plenty of disbelief. I’d never seen anything like it. But in the end, Namsu was banished from the celestial realm."

Relief washes over you at his words, the tension you hadn't even realized you were carrying leaving your body. "That's incredible.” 

Jungkook shrugs slightly, but there’s an unmistakable look of pride in his eyes. "I’m just glad he has gotten what he deserves. Now you have justice." He places a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"And what about the others? The ones who have started to degrade?" Your heart clenches at the thought of them being punished for something beyond their control.

"They're safe," Jungkook assures you quickly. "The Thrones have promised to take care of it all. They're going to convene with Him, to see if the Heavenly teachings can be altered. Things are changing up there; I think it's all going to be alright." 

You're overwhelmed with emotion, both relief and dread tugging at you simultaneously. It is good to know that things will be changing, but what is done to you has been done. And now, Jungkook has no reason to stay with you. You take a step back from him. 

"What about you?" you ask quietly, barely daring to meet his gaze.

"What about me?" 

"You have no reason to stay anymore. You can return to your normal duties. You did what was right, and everything is fixed."

"I did what was right, yes, and I'm sure things will be much better from now on," Jungkook agrees. But he steps forward, taking your hands in his and looking deep into your eyes. "But now, I need to do what's right for me." 

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, my star." Your heart stutters at the endearment. "I'm not going anywhere. I want to be with you."

"But… you can only do that if you're—"

"Human, yes," he interrupts. 

"Jungkook! You can't! You can't Fall for me," you half-shout, half-whisper. "You're a good angel, you—"

"Y/N." The force behind his voice stops you. "Even before you showed me the beauty of being human, before I knew how to feel, before I even knew what love was, I would have done anything for you.” His confession takes your breath away, and you wobble on your feet, moving a few steps back from him in your shock. “If you had simply asked it of me, I would have stood with you in the fires of hell for all eternity and still been grateful for each moment spent at your side." 

The tears you were holding back begin to fall. "You would have?" 

“I would. I can. I will.” He moves closer to you with each beat between words until he stands directly in front of you, only a hair's breadth away. Gently, hesitantly—as if for the first time—he takes your hand and presses it to his chest right above where a human heart would be. “Just say the words, and I will fall for you. I will forsake myself and turn my back on Heaven. The pain of losing my wings will be inconsequential compared to the pain of having to be without you.”

"W-what words?"

He smiles, eyes crinkling at the edges. "You know what I want to hear. Be honest. Even better, be selfish, like a human. Tell me what you really want, and I will oblige."

You hesitate. You have been fighting your feelings this entire time, so sure of the fact that Jungkook would choose to continue his life as an angel. You never wanted him to Fall for you, to be torn away from the life he has always known the way you were. But he deserves to make the choice himself. If he wants your honesty, you will give it to him. 

"Speak, Y/N," Jungkook urges, his gaze never leaving yours.

"I want…" You begin slowly, your voice barely a whisper. "I want you. I want you to stay with me." He grins, relief clear in his eyes. "Then I will."

"But you shouldn't have to Fall!" 

"Fall or not, it won't change anything," he assures you. "I chose this path before even knowing there was a choice. I chose you from the second we were created.”

"Even if that means giving up everything?" you ask.

Jungkook’s expression softens. He reaches up and tucks a wayward lock of hair behind your ear. "Does it seem like I’m giving up everything?" he muses aloud, his eyes never leaving yours. "Because from where I stand, it seems like I’m gaining everything.”

"Smooth-talker,” you laugh, a tear slipping down your cheek. He brushes it off with his thumb, his gaze softening even further.

For a moment, you just stand there, looking at each other. It's quiet except for your breathing and the sound of waves crashing against the pier. You have been so afraid of asking him to make this choice, and yet he seems so certain about it, as if it was what he wanted all along.

"Are you sure about this?" you ask him one more time, seeking reassurance. "Once done, there's no going back."

His answer is immediate, "I've never been more sure about anything in my life."

"This will change everything," you say again.

"I know," he replies simply. 

"Come find me when it's over," you whisper, placing a gentle kiss to his lips. "I'll be at the shelter." 

As you go to leave, you can't help but glance back over your shoulder at Jungkook, taking in the appearance of him and his wings one last time. He's still standing there, watching you go with love evident in his gaze. It quells some of your worries. And then you blink, and he’s gone.

The hours that creep by feel like days. You busy yourself with meaningless tasks, cleaning the office, flipping through an old book left on the table, scrolling TikTok. None of it does anything to dull your anxiety, and you're weighing the pros and cons of tearing your hair out before you finally hear a knock on the door. You shoot up to your feet, heart pounding in your chest. Slowly, you open the door, and there he stands. "I'm here," he says simply. "As I promised."

You pull him into a hug once again, burying your head into his chest. You can hear the beat of his human heart and, unable to stop yourself, you burst into tears. You know the pain he just went through, can remember experiencing it yourself like it was yesterday, and you can hardly believe he went through something so awful to be with you. 

"I'm sorry," you whisper, tightening your hold on him. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," he coos, gently stroking your hair. "This was my choice."

You swallow hard and pull back from him so you can look into his eyes, searching for any sign of regret. You find none.

"Are you okay?" You ask anyway, your heart aching at the thought of what he has given up.

"I am," he assures, his voice full of conviction. He leans down, pressing a soft kiss against your lips, and when he pulls away, he's smiling. "I wondered if doing that would feel different now that I'm fully human." 

"And does it?" you ask, smiling back up at him.

"Yes," he admits, tracing an invisible line down your cheek, your neck, your collarbone. You shiver at his touch. "It feels more real. Stronger somehow. It's like you're the break of dawn after a long night." 

Your breath catches in your throat. "Being human certainly hasn't changed the fact that you have a way with words." 

"Only when it comes to you," he replies, his fingers never ceasing their journey across your skin. They make their way back to your waist, where he plays with the hem of your shirt. "There's one lesson we never covered, you know." 

"A-and what would that be?" you squeak as his fingers caress the smooth skin of your stomach.

His voice drops lower, and he tugs you closer by your belt loops. "Human intimacy."

You flush at his audacity but don't pull away. "And what would be the best way for me to teach you about that?" 

"Hm…" He leans down so that his lips hover over yours, and you can feel his warm breath with each word he speaks. "I think I would respond well to some hands-on practice."

Your heartbeat thunders in your ears as his lips press against yours in a slow, searing kiss that turns your knees to jelly. He takes his time exploring your mouth, his lips moving delicately against yours. His hands are warm on your skin, trailing up and down your back as he pulls you closer. 

"Then I suppose we should get started," you manage to whisper when you finally break apart, breathless.

Jungkook moves into the room, closing the door behind him, and sits down on the edge of the pull-out bed. He stares up at you, his once-innocent doe eyes now dark and hooded with desire. You float towards him as if being pulled by a magnet, and he pulls you down so that you’re straddling his lap. Your hands rest on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under your touch. 

"I think I should warn you," he says, hands sliding down to rest right above the curve of your ass, "I might be a slow learner."

You roll your eyes, a short, playful chuckle escaping from your lips. "I think I can handle that."

The room fills with an easy silence as you continue to explore each other, experiencing sensations new for the both of you. His hands trace every curve and dip of your body, his touch curious yet surprisingly confident. Your fingers trace the lines of his face, his jaw, his chest, and then find their way under his shirt to the newly-formed scars on his back. They are rough against your fingertips, a stark contrast to the rest of his smooth skin. 

"You aren't in pain?” 

“No,” he assures you, his hands sliding to a similar position on your own back. "Were you for long after?"

"No, but I'm still worried," you smile sheepishly.

He laughs and kisses your nose. "Don't be. Don't feel like you have to be gentle with me. I won't break." 

You laugh in return, your eyes twinkling with delight and a touch of mischief. "Is that a challenge, Jungkook?" 

He hums in response, his gaze never leaving yours. "Maybe." 

His teasing reply only spurs you on. Rising to the bait, you lean in to kiss him, this time with a boldness that leaves him momentarily stunned. But he recovers quickly, matching your fervor and deepening the kiss. Your hands weave into his hair, pulling him closer, and his hips jut up against you almost involuntarily. You moan at the sensation, and he stills.

"What was that?" he asks.

"That," you breathe out, "is what human intimacy sounds like." 

"I want to hear it again." 

His lips find yours again and this time it's deep and demanding, all teeth and tongue and the promise of what’s to come. His hands grab your waist, forcing you to grind down against him as he once again lifts his hips up to meet your core. Another moan escapes your lips, the sound quickly swallowed by his hungry mouth. He tugs at the hem of your shirt, his fingertips skimming against the skin of your lower back. Eagerly, you lift your arms, and he pulls it off over your head.

"Jungkook…" you whimper, clutching at his shoulders. He responds by nuzzling into your neck, his hot breath making you shiver with pleasure. 

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs against the curve of your neck, his lips tracing the column of your throat, down to your chest. 

He places a gentle kiss above each breast before descending lower still, sucking one into his mouth. His lips and tongue move expertly, drawing gasps from you as your nerves ignite with pleasure. His hands are firm on your waist, holding you securely against him as he devotes himself entirely to exploring the new terrain, and you grind against him wantonly. You can feel that your panties are soaked with the proof of your desire. 

"Jungkook," you say again, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. His name is a plea, a prayer. "I need more."

He pulls back, his lips swollen from his ministrations. "And so I'll give it to you." 

You eagerly crawl off of him, shimmying out of your jeans, before settling with your back against the pillows. You grab at the air, beckoning him closer. He does the same, now only in his boxers, and slots himself on top of you, his bare skin against yours intensifying the burning desire coursing through your veins. His hard length presses against your core, and you whine.

"I don't know what I'm doing," he admits in a low voice, his hot breath fanning against your face as his eyes search yours for assurance.

You reach up, caressing his cheek. "It's okay," you soothe him, your hands then trailing down his back to rest on his hips, encouraging him closer. "We'll figure it out together."

His lips find your neck as his hands explore every inch of you, his rough fingers exploring the softness of your flesh. He slides one down over your stomach and lower still, feather-light touches teasing you until you're gasping beneath him. His fingers trace the edge of your panties before sliding the fabric down. You lift your hips, aiding him in removing the last barrier between you. He tosses them aside before returning his attention to you, his fingers skimming along your trembling thighs. His fingers move gradually, inching steadily upward until he's touching you where you're most sensitive. You let out a soft gasp, gripping the sheets.

"Is this okay?" he asks. You nod eagerly, unable to get the words out, and he chuckles, placing a gentle kiss at the base of your throat. "Good."

Always the over-achiever, he slides down your body until his face is level with your core, focusing intently on his work. His fingers move with a slow, calculated rhythm that quickly has you dripping for him. Eventually, he slips one of his fingers inside of you. Your breath hitches, your hands clutching at his shoulders for support.

"Am I doing this right?" he asks, uncertainty creeping into his voice as he looks up at you from between your thighs. 

"You must be," you gasp out, encouraging him with a roll of your hips. "Don't stop."

Grinning, he adds a second finger, working you open until you're panting and squirming beneath him. Your back arches off the bed as his fingers work their magic, curling in just the right way that has you seeing stars. Praise tumbles from your lips, but you're sure that it just sounds like nonsense, your thoughts too muddled to form coherent words. 

"You're so wet," he murmurs in a low, gravelly voice that only adds fuel to your desire. 

Without warning, he lowers his mouth to your core, his lips and tongue joining his exploring fingers. The sensation is electric; your breath hitches, and an animalistic moan escapes you. He takes it as a sign of encouragement, doubling his efforts. Your fingers find their way to his hair, threading into the dark strands, seeking purchase. You can't help but pull, and he moans against you, the vibrations only furthering your pleasure. 

"Jungkook," you warn, "I'm—" 

A coil of white heat tightens within you before snapping. His name slips from your lips as you climax, sparks dancing behind your eyelids as he continues to pleasure you, eagerly lapping up your release. He doesn't stop, not until you physically pull him away from you, body shaking with overstimulation. He climbs back up your body, his lips finding yours in a gentle kiss. You can taste yourself on his lips.

"You okay?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. 

His pupils are blown out with desire, his hair slicked back with sweat, and he's so attractive that just the sight of him has you clenching your thighs together. 

You nod, cupping his face in your hands. "More than okay," you assure him. "That was amazing. Now," you slide your fingers down his chest, sliding over the waistband of his boxers. "Let's see what we can do about you."

You hook your thumbs around the fabric and pull them downwards, and he does the rest of the work, kicking them off. You reach down, your fingers tentatively wrapping around his cock. He gasps, his head falling forward against your chest as you begin to stroke him with a slow, measured rhythm. 

He nearly whines, his grip tightening on your hips. "That feels… I can't…" His words dissolve into soft, broken moans as you continue to work him over.

Suddenly overtaken with need, you stop, pulling him in for another searing kiss. "I need you inside of me, Jungkook," you gasp against his lips, "Please." 

Your hand guides him back to your core, and his breath hitches. “Are you ready?”

Nodding, you lift your hips to meet him. He pushes into you carefully, slowly, each inch an intense sensation for both of you. Your body clenches around him as if welcoming him home, a strangled moan escaping your lips. One of his hands clasps yours, bringing it to rest on the side of your head while he buries his face in the crook of your neck, his heavy breaths fanning your skin. He's shaking against you, and you feel just as overwhelmed. 

You squeeze the hand that's holding yours, urging him on. "You're okay," you whisper, "I'm okay. Move."

He nods, pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back inside of you. Your body jolts at the sensation, gasping his name over and over. 

"You feel incredible," he breathes out, the statement more for himself than for you. “So perfect.” Your fingers thread through his hair once more, pulling him down to meet your lips.

His hips set a steady rhythm, filling the room with soft sounds of skin on skin and heavy panting. He lets out a low groan as he adjusts his angle, hitting a spot inside of you that has you crying out and grabbing at him wherever you can reach. You wrap your legs around his waist, throwing your head back against the pillows.

"That's it," you whine, "Right there. It feels so good—" 

Your words cut off into a choked moan as he thrusts into you at that exact spot again and again, his movements becoming more erratic. He's close—you can tell by the way his body tenses and how he gasps desperately into your mouth. 

"I'm… I'm—" he stammers out, breath hitching between each word.

"I know," you gasp out, meeting him thrust for thrust. "Me too." 

You pull him as close as possible, holding him to you as you both chase your release. Your eyes squeeze shut, and your nails dig into his skin as a wave of pleasure crashes over you, even more intense than the last. You moan his name as you come, shuddering beneath him. He moans into your neck as he follows you over the edge, his hips bucking uncontrollably as he buries himself deep inside you. 

He collapses on top of you, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his heavy breathing tickling your skin. He stays there, nestled inside of you, his heart pounding against your chest, matching the rapid rhythm of your own. You feel dizzy, your senses overwhelmed by him—his scent, his taste, the feel of him on top of you and within you. You caress his back, slowly tracing the contours of his scars with gentle strokes, the action soothing for both of you. 

Eventually, he shifts, carefully pulling himself out of you and collapsing onto his back next to you. His hand searches blindly for yours, lacing your fingers together once he finds it. He brings your joined hands up to his lips and places a soft kiss on your knuckles.

"Is… are you…" He lifts his head to meet your eyes, unable to form words. 

"I'm more than okay," you assure him softly, brushing a stray lock of hair off his forehead.

"Good," he whispers, a contented sigh escaping him. 

His eyes roam over your face once more before closing, his grip on your hand tightening ever so slightly. Together, you lay there under the sheets, and the silence goes on for so long that you almost think he fell asleep. 

Then suddenly, you hear him say, voice barely above a whisper, "I love you." You look over to see him staring up at you with adoration in his gaze and a soft smile on his lips. "I know I don't have to say it since surely there can be no doubt that everything I have done for you is out of love. But I want to say it anyway. I want to continue saying it for the rest of my life. I have loved you since before I even had the capacity to feel it, and I will continue to love you until time ceases to exist."

His confession leaves you breathless, and you can do little but turn on your side, grab his face, and place a gentle kiss on his lips. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes, threatening to spill down your cheeks.

"I love you too, Jungkook," you whisper against his lips, "So very, very much." 

He lets out an audible sigh of relief as if he had been holding his breath, waiting for your response. His free hand reaches out to caress your cheek, wiping away a tear that had managed to escape. "I knew you would say so, but I'm happy to hear it all the same."

The two of you get ready for bed, and, for the first time since commandeering Naomi’s office, you fall asleep together in each other's arms.

The day you have been dreading has arrived—Christmas. Despite your initial hatred, however, you find yourself actually participating in the festivities around the shelter. Just like as many others do, you aren't going to consider it a holy day. You're going to use it as an excuse to be happy and spend time with your loved ones. 

You join the group of children who sit by the pile of gifts, their excitement palpable as they eagerly wait for Naomi to declare it time to open them. Small hands tug at Jungkook’s sleeve, pulling him down to their level as they bombard him with questions about where he's been. He settles down amongst them, answering their questions as honestly as he can. His eyes meet yours over the sea of eager faces, and he stretches out a hand towards you, inviting you to join him. You sit right on his lap, making some of the kids giggle.

"Alright, everyone, it's time!" Naomi's voice echoes through the shelter, immediately quieting the children down. 

As each name is called out and the kids scramble to collect their gifts, you can't help but smile. The pure delight on their faces is infectious. Noticing your happiness, Jungkook pulls you back so that you’re leaning against his chest, his arms wrapping around your waist. 

He places a gentle kiss on your neck, murmuring, "You seem happy."

"I am," you say, placing your hands over his. "The holidays aren't so bad with you around."

"I'm glad." He turns your head so he can place a quick kiss on your lips, one that is light and soft and sweet, full of love. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Jungkook," you echo, smiling brightly. 

Later, Naomi corners the two of you, pulling you aside. "I've been thinking about what to give you," she says. "I—"

"Naomi, you don't have to give me anything!"

"Don't interrupt me," she scolds, but there's no bite behind it. "Like I was saying, I was thinking it over, and I realized that the best gift I could offer is not anything material. From tomorrow on, you will officially be a supervisor. A paid supervisor." 

Your eyes widen in surprise, and you glance at Jungkook, who is beaming at you with pride. You turn back to Naomi, stuttering out a response.

"B-but Naomi, I couldn't possibly—"

"Yes, you can," she interrupts, her tone firm. "From the day you arrived here, you have been working as hard as any of us. You deserve this." Before you can argue any further, she thrusts a small envelope into your hands. "Consider it an early Christmas gift and your first paycheck. And my office? It's yours."

"Thank you, Naomi," you manage, your voice choked with emotion. You pull her into a hug, hoping it can express everything you don't know how to say. 

She pats your back, chuckling. "If anything, it's an excuse for me to take some time off. I'm getting old and need to start sharing the burden. Don't expect it to be a walk in the park!"

You pull away, wiping a stray tear from your eye. "Of course not. I'm ready to be worked to the bone, ma'am." 

"That's what I like to hear," she comments, her voice carrying an undertone of pride. She turns to Jungkook, her gaze soft but words sharp. "Take care of her, will you?"

"Always," he replies without a moment's hesitation, which earns him a small nod from Naomi.

Eventually, the celebrations wind down and people start to retreat to their beds until only you and Jungkook remain. Instead of doing the same, you decide to return to the pier and watch the water for a bit, not ready for the day to end. The two of you walk in comfortable silence, hands linked tightly as if promising not to let go. 

Sitting at the edge of the pier, Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. His body heat seeps into your skin, fighting away the cold, and you rest your head on his chest, letting his strong, steady heartbeat lull you into contentment. 

"Who would've thought we would end up here?" you reflect, staring out at the ocean. 

Jungkook laughs softly, his chest rumbling beneath your ear. "I don't think either of us could have predicted this."

"I never thought I would be happy that any of this happened, but I am. Are you?"

His gaze softens as he takes in the sight of you. "More than I could possibly put into words," he admits. 

"Will you miss it, though? Heaven?"

"I thought I would," he says, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "But Earth has its own kind of heaven. You're here. Naomi is here. The children are here. I have so much more yet to discover, to experience." His gaze returns to you, eyes soft and full of love. "How could I miss anything when I have all of this?”

Your heart swells at his words, his declaration warming you like nothing else could. You reach up to cup his face, your fingers lightly brushing his lips. His eyes flutter shut for a moment at your touch before opening again to hold your gaze.

"You're right," you whisper, your voice barely carrying over the sound of the waves. "This is our heaven. Here, with each other. And who knows, maybe we'll end up back there someday."

"You think?" Jungkook asks, raising an eyebrow. "I must say, I'm a little surprised hearing that from you. I didn't think you had faith anymore or wanted it for that matter."

You shrug. "Honestly, I don't know. I don't have my original beliefs anymore, that's for sure, but I don't resent it all like I once did, either. I think I've just found a new kind of faith. A faith in myself, in people, in goodness, and in love. There are so many different kinds of religions out there, and at their core, they're all about trying to understand the world around us, trying to find ways to cope and move forward. I think that's what I'm doing now, in my own way."

"That's beautiful," Jungkook says, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Somehow both simple and complex. Just like life itself, I suppose."

"And what about you, Jungkook?” you ask, pecking him on the lips. How will you move forward?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure, either. But I think I'm happy to find out, as long as it's with you." 

You hold each other close, each hoping your touch can express what no words could possibly convey. Love. Gratitude. Hope. The promise of a shared journey. What more could you possibly ask for?

TAGLIST: @yessa-vie

[genericpuff]

(Hello, I posted a comment about this topic in your ask box a while ago, but I don’t know if it went through or is just in ask box limbo. So, if this comment sounds familiar, it’s because I might have already asked this, I just wanted to make sure that it went through this time.)

So, in one of your posts, I noticed that you compared Hades from LO to Bojack Horseman from the Netflix show with the same name. And it made me think back on a video by Dazzling Kate that I ended up commenting on, regarding Hades’s past relationships with Minthe and Leuce. Something that I think the fans (And even Rachel) tend to overlook with Hades is his sexual history with women and the power he has over them. Much like Bojack, Hades from LO has been in many relationships with women where he had significant power over them. He then either used those women for sexual pleasure, or to get some kind of favor from them to better himself. There are plenty of examples of this! Example 1: Minthe – He initially engaged with Minthe when she was flat broke and struggling to make ends meet. He ended up giving her a job at his company where he was the boss, allowed her to live in an apartment complex which he owned and was paying rent for, and even set up a bank account for her at a bank he controlled (Which he did the same to Persephone). He then later develops a sexual relationship with her and bribed her with expensive gifts to keep her in the relationship, but doesn’t fully commit to making her happy by standing up to his family when they trash-talk her nor does he consider her feelings.

Example 2: Bank and pawnshop – He threatened the owner of the pawnshop where Persephone had to give up the comb Hades gave to her so she could make money. Sure, you could argue he was hurt she had to sell a gift he gave her just for the money, but you can’t deny that puts him in a position where he abused his power over a woman and did not talk to Persephone about selling the comb first before threatening to get it back. He also threatened a worker at the bank when he was setting up Persephone’s account (said worker was a woman as well), and even though she was doing her job, she was forced to bend the rules because Hades was threatening her with his eyes.

Example 3: Hecate – Hades learns about the tabloid photo because of Hecate and learns that Hecate is an aunt to Persephone. And while it seems she is on the same level as the King, Hades ends up using Hecate to track down Alex, kidnap the photographer and torture him with Hades. This event is made to make Hades seem like a hero for Persephone by taking out someone who hurt her image but this only isolated Persephone at her college more and just confirmed what everyone was thinking. On top of that, Hades is excused for his behavior and not even Persephone sees how disturbing that is. (Now that I think about it, I wonder if this incident could be considered an act of wrath considering harm was caused to a person by a god who did not have a permit to commit said act. And I also wonder that if this got back to Hades, would he throw Hecate under the bus by claiming that she was the one who brought up the idea and did most of the dirty work? I wouldn’t be surprised if he did put the blame on Hecate, which just further proves his power over women by forcing her to take the fall to get out Scott free.)

Example 4: Hera – He consulted Hera during her breakdown when she discovered an affair Zeus was having, which ended up resulting in Hades having an emotional and physical affair with Hera for at least a century. He basically used her insecurities to have her go against her title as “goddess of marriage and faithfulness”, using her doubts about her relationship with Zeus to gain some intimacy. This also ended up snowballing into Hera beginning to feel more guilty about Hades’s status about wanting someone by his side as his queen. It’s probably why she decided to play matchmaker with Persephone to be with Hades, so he could have the kind of woman he wanted. Hera put her own niece with her brother-in-law, who was much older and unstable, just so she could move on from her feelings and be rid of the guilt of the affair.

Example 5: Demeter – Hades had a pretty good relationship with Demeter, but ended up betraying her so she wouldn’t become queen of the Earth, all because he allowed his brother to manipulate him. While Zeus is to blame, Hades fell for it and let Demeter be thrown under the bus just because he wanted to keep the volcanos, even though he could have just talked with Demeter over it. He also calls out Demeter with derogatory names and claims that she is isolating Persephone and abusing her by asserting her authority over her daughter. However, Hades is just as guilty of doing the exact same thing to Persephone: Belittling her with titles such as ‘little goddess’, ruined her reputation at school, controlling her finances, and even manipulated her into things she didn’t want to do by taking advantage of the situation. (Like how Persephone wanted to take their dating slow, but she agrees to get married only after the fallout with her mother.)

Example 6: Leuce - ….Okay, Hades didn’t technically do anything wrong here, other than not confront Leuce right away about this arranged marriage. Zeus was the one who wanted her to marry Hades, and Persephone was the one to really have her moments with. Seriously, fuck Zeus and Persephone for this.

Example 7: Persephone – I kind of already said my point in Example 5 (Belittling her with titles such as ‘little goddess’, ruined her reputation at school, controlling her finances, and even manipulated her into things she didn’t want to do by taking advantage of the situation.) Basically, everything that Hades did to Minthe, he’s pretty much doing the same thing to Persephone. He doesn’t see Persephone as an actual partner to be his equal, he sees her as a sex icon that he can control and he takes advantage of her (maybe not sexually, but in other means). And all the things Demeter did to her daughter, Hades is doing the exact same thing, but again he wants to get a sexual relationship out of Persephone for it!

My point is that throughout LO, Hades clearly displays how toxic, power-hungry and predatory he truly is. It’s ironic that Rachel wanted to make Hades seem like the best of the three brothers, but his personality is no different than Zeus or even Apollo for that matter. Rachel only made Hades worse in LO than in the original hymn and Greek Mythology. I don’t mind these tendencies of Hades or any characters that have such traits, but they should be called out on it! At least BoJack was exposed for his toxicity and power over women, which the show clearly tells us is not a good thing that he or anyone else should be proud of! BoJack also suffered the consequences of those actions and tried to get better. But here, LO makes it seem like this is normal behavior for Hades and that he’s a desirable bachelor who just needs to find the right woman to work through his issues. Even though Hades’ track record with women is a massive red flag.

And the depressing thing that we have to ask is… if Hades acts this way with every woman in his life, then what’s stopping him from pulling the same crap on Persephone? He may “love” her now, but who’s to say he won’t pull a Zeus and get a concubine later down the road or have multiple affairs? After all, he didn’t fall for Persephone because of her personality, he fell for her because of her body and what she can give him and the control he has over her.

(Sorry for the long post, but I was just curious to hear your thoughts on this topic because I don't think too many people in the LO community really pay attention to this detail about Hades)

i swear i thought i had responded to this ask the first time you made it so that's my bad ahahfhdasklsaj but i probably assumed that because yes, we've talked about the similarities between Bojack and Hades before, and they really are fucked the more you think about them ＼(º □ º l|l)/ to the point that you could deadass replace Bojack with Hades in that "second interview" scene where the interviewer asks Bojack about the power he has over women and he denies it as if he hasn't constantly abused women and girls who trusted in him on the basis of being a well-known celebrity.

There's a lot of delusion and lack of accountability there on Bojack's part, especially because it's following the first interview where he admits to the flaws that he finds easy to swallow and twist into his own "I'm the victim" type story, but then cowers away from the stuff he DOESN'T want to admit because he still doesn't think he did anything wrong and was trying to use the "woe is me I'm a sad struggling celebrity :(((" angle from the first interview to get himself off the hook.

So of course as soon as he's asked some actual hardball questions and realizes he's up shit creek for being directly responsible for Sara Lin's death as well as other incidents involving women he took advantage of / directly harmed, he pulls the "I'm an addict" card, which is yeah, sure, a reason for a lot of his past transgressions, but it's not getting into his real issues that are feeding into his addictions and it's still being used more as an excuse to try and get himself off the hook on the virtue of "well yeah I'm a bad guy but we already talked about that didn't we??? can't you see how regretful I am ??? let's just move on already!" rather than actually taking accountability.

And who does that sound like? Oh right, the "misunderstood" King of the Underworld, Hades, who has done nothing to actually prove wrong all the claims and statements made about him. Like, we're supposed to believe - according to the narrative - that Hades is misunderstood and that people only assume the worst of him due to his association with the Underworld...

... but then he goes and pulls shit like this and it's like "Wait, maybe his reputation precedes him" LMAOOO

Now it could be a "which came first, the stigma or the reputation" type thing, where Hades started off with good intentions and then slowly morphed into a tyrannical piece of shit because most people already assumed he was gonna be like that anyways just for being the King of the Underworld, but the comic never really explores that or makes that clear. It's just constantly at odds between Hades being "poor misunderstood rich guy :(((" and "powerful king who will destroy anyone who tries to touch his cinnamon roll qween >:3" and yeah it makes for really shitty characterization, especially when reading in hindsight and realizing, "Wait, maybe Minthe was right to be upset about what Hades was doing and Hades was in the wrong".

Shit, this is a bit off topic, but you wouldn't believe the amount of people who don't realize that this scene-

-is literally a bribe.

Now, most people assume it isn't because it's not taking the form of the usual "I'll pay you whatever sum of money to make sure this all goes away" but... it's still a bribe, the exact kind of bribe that permeates larger industries where women are often forced into silence at the hands of a rich powerful man who has all the power (cough people like Bojack Horseman cough). It's a lot quieter and designed to make the woman look "ungrateful" if she doesn't take a deal that really only benefits the perpetrator (in this case, Hades). In this situation, Hades has all the power - he's her employer, the guy who pays for her apartment and other bills, and as much as he can claim he put "the two of them" in the position of financial co-dependency, it was really only her. He's the one who owns banks, after all - she's the only one who stands to lose everything and clearly all he's losing is a woman who he's not even interested in anymore in lieu of the new 19-year-old intern who he's more attracted to now.

So he tries to make it sound like all of it is for her benefit. She could go back to school. Take a management position with better pay. All of these offers, while on the surface seem like a "good faith" apology to "make up" for the loss of the relationship, are really just their own form of bribe to get Minthe out of the picture, under the guise of being for her own "benefit".

Now don't get me wrong, Minthe absolutely 100% deserves to get the fuck away from Hades, but it bugs the shit out of me that the narrative never focuses on Hades' own role in this relationship and how he's contributed to its issues. And not only that, but he's continued this cycle through Persephone, who was also vulnerable in many of her own ways, from her age, to her lack of life experience, to her lack of finances (aside from her inheritance of the Barley Mother fortune which she clearly doesn't have access to throughout S1), to what she's going through as an SA victim. Sure, the narrative props them up as a perfect couple, but Persephone is still just another naive girl who was lovebombed by an older and richer man and slowly turned into an accessory of his own design, covered in all the trappings of wealth and continuing the cycle of abusing the lower class (which we see her doing constantly throughout S3).

And if all that isn't proof enough that Hades is an exploitative piece of shit who takes advantage of women, look no further than the pilot episodes:

And yeah. Minthe was absolutely right that Hades has all the power and privilege of being able to come across as the responsible one when she's the one who stands to lose so much more.

[mydadleft471]

Cerulean Coast and Flower Crowns

Summary: Messmer takes you on a date to the Cerulean Coast. Fluff ensues.

This was a request from anonymous! I'll link the request here! I'm so sorry this took forever, I just started school again and the back half of my summer was NUTS. But this prompt was so cute I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I got home and busted it out. Thanks for the patience and the request anon!

Also, thank you guys for over 100 followers! I didn't realize I hit that until today, so thank you all so much! The support I get on here is insane, and it means everything to me. I love writing so much, and being able to share it with other people is so satisfying and gratifying!

As always, please enjoy and thank you all for following, reading, liking, commenting, and reblogging! I hope I'll be able to post again relatively soon because I love this man sm

A soft knock at the door slightly startled you.

“Just a minute!” You hollered, trying to finish your braids as quickly as possible. Ever since you had braided Messmer’s hair, he’s been trying to get you to match him. Wearing matching braids was a simple gesture, but to him, it was anything but. He’d yet to work up the courage to ask you to braid a lock of his hair in your own.

Securely tying your hair in place and giving yourself a glance in your vanity, you decided you looked good enough to answer the door. The embroidered gold collar on your red dress glimmered in the sunlight streaming through the nearby window. Whichever way you turned, you would seemingly glow. A set of polished ruby earrings and a matching necklace sat on the table before you. They were another gift from Messmer. He loved when you wore red. Perhaps it was something possessive, or maybe it was the fact that red was his color, so wearing it meant you were proud to be his. Whichever it was, you didn’t mind. You just enjoyed making him happy.

Standing from your chair, you hurry to the door and open it. Standing before you was Messmer himself. You notice that he’s not in his usual armor and cloak, but instead, he wears a ruby tunic with black pants. He looks simple, yet regal, all at once. His hair has yet to be braided, as he insisted that your braids look nicer. You think it’s just an excuse to have you do his hair, which you don’t mind.

“Hello, beloved.” You greet him with a blinding smile. “Would you like to come in?”

He nods and enters your room. The smell of vanilla wafts in the air pleasantly. You catch his eyes drifting over your dress. He seems to realize that he’s been staring at you, and looks away quickly. 

He clears his throat. “Red suits thee, it seemeth. Ne’er have I witnessed anyone as beautiful as thee, my consort.”

“You look wonderful as well, Messmer. What’s the occasion?” 

“I wish for thee to accompany me to the Cerulean Coast.” His face is red.

“For what, my love? Is there some pressing business to attend to there?”

“No.” He grabs your hand and straightens the matching gold ring on your middle finger. “I wish to take thee there. Nights ago thou had said something about the beauty of the Cerulean Coast.”

“Are you asking me on a date?” You cock your head at him.

“I- yes.” He seems like he’s trying to shrink away from your gaze.

“When did you want to go?”

“If today suits thee, then today. When thou’rt ready.” He squeezes your hand.

“Well, first I need to put on my jewelry. Then, I assume, you want me to braid your hair to match mine?”

“How well thou knowest me.” He gives you a shy smile.

“Come on, then.” You lead him over to your vanity and you sit down.

You reach for your ruby earrings and begin to put them in, but Messmer’s hand gently stops you. You shoot him a puzzled look. Did he not want you to wear these today?

“If I may, I would like to assist thee.”

You give him a small nod and hand him the earrings. They’re comically small in his palm. He leans down and slowly puts your earrings in, careful to not accidentally poke you. Once he finishes, he reaches for your necklace and stands behind you. He gently drapes it over your neck and adjusts any jewels that aren’t facing the right way, then clasps the ends together. He ghosts his hand over your neck and collarbones, making you shiver. 

“I adore thee in red.” You see him smile at you in the mirror. His eye glints possessively and your stomach does somersaults.

“Your turn.” You hop out of the seat and gesture for Messmer to sit, which he does.

You grab your brush and begin to part his hair down the middle, brushing it so it’s silky and smooth. Taking three small strands of hair, you begin an intricate braid. When you finish with the first one, you wordlessly pass it to him to hold, which he does. He’s gotten used to your silent cues when doing his hair. You begin the left braid next, shaping it into a half-moon, soon to be joined together with the other braid. It’s a very simple hairstyle, yet it is Messmer’s favorite. 

Tying the ends together, you lean over and give Messmer a quick peck on the cheek to tell him you’re finished. His face reddens and he gives you a bashful smile. Even after all this time, he still flusters from the simplest of gestures.

He stands from your vanity chair and gently grabs your hand. He brings it up to his mouth and places a delicate kiss on your knuckles.

“Will the Keep be okay while we’re away?”

He nods and squeezes your hand. “Fear not, beloved. I have left Gaius in command. We shall return by sunset.” 

It seemed like he already had everything planned for the day.

He leads you, arm-in-arm, down the stairs and hallways you’ve started calling home, and servants bow their heads in greeting as you pass. One of Messmer’s serpents winds around your waist and the other perches on your shoulder. They relax against you, comforted by your warmth.

Messmer shakes his head. “Fickle creatures they are. But I cannot fault them for preferring thee.”

“They’ve only been with you for the entire duration of your life. They can’t be tired of you.” The serpents hiss and wind around you tighter, making you and Messmer laugh.

Once you reach the gates to the Shadow Keep, Messmer signals to one of his guards. The heavy doors slowly open, revealing the vast plains of Scadu Altus. The breeze gently tousels your hair and you huff. Messmer gives you a small smile and tucks a wind whipped lock of hair behind your ear.

A knight approaches with Messmer’s horse and hands him the reins. He’d pulled away from you briefly to pet her. You’d seen her before, but you’d never dared to ride her. She’s a large, black horse with deep brown eyes. Her mane flows freely down her neck and she exudes power. She’s stubborn, but Messmer had rode her into many battles and came back unscathed. If he trusted her, so would you.

Messmer looks at you, standing timidly a few feet away. He gives you that gentle smile that only you get to see and approaches you.

“Have I told thee her name?”

“No,” you shake your head, ruby earrings gently knocking against your neck. “She’s beautiful, though.”

“She is called Belladonna. A fine horse she is.” She whinnies at his praise, stomping her hooves as if eager to go.

Messmer reaches out to you and you give him your hand. He slowly pulls you towards Belladonna and extends your hand to her. She sniffs you a few times and then butts her head against you.. Messmer laughs and you begin to stroke her mane, amazed at how silky it is.

“Thou needn’t worry; she is gentle. No harm will come to you with her, beloved.” You believe him as she nuzzles into your gentle pets and scratches. The tension you felt upon seeing her dissipated almost immediately.

“Come, consort mine.” He mounts and settles onto Belladonna easily, as if he’s done it a thousand times. He wraps an arm around your waist and hoists you up with assistance from his serpents. You settle with his stomach against your back, legs thrown over the side of the horse gracefully. 

“Wilt thou be alright?” Messmer secures you in between his arms, reins clutched in his hands.

“Just… don’t go very fast. Please?” Your stomach churns with anxiety being up so high. You also haven’t ridden a horse in what seemed like ages.

“Whatever thou wishest. We shalt go as slow as thou requires.” 

With a snap of the reins, Belladonna begins a slow trot. You thought you’d be jostled around more, but between the slow pace, the easy terrain, and Messmer’s form keeping you steady, you find yourself sighing and sitting back against your lover.

The trees are tinted gold as you ride past them, sunlight streaming in between the leaves. The grass sways in the gentle breeze and you admire the nearby wildlife as they prance carefree among themselves. You could imagine your surroundings in a painting. It was nice to be out in fresh air and away from the Shadow Keep, even if only for a little while.

Most of the trip is spent in silence apart from the gentle sounds of Belladonna’s hooves against the dirt and the occasional chirp from a bird nesting overhead. Eventually, the golden grass yields to a field of cerulean flowers. They seem to glow as they are guided to and fro by the wind. You wonder if they are magic, perhaps related to the Carian royal family?

“I have forgotten the beauty of this place.” Messmer’s quiet voice plucks you from your thoughts.

You turn your head to look back at him. He smiles down at you and presses a light kiss to your forehead. You hum in response.

“I’ve only been here once. I was fighting through it, so I really couldn’t stop and enjoy the scenery.”

“Since thou hast expressed thy interest in returning here, I requested that my knights clear this place of any who would pose a threat to thee.”

“You did that for me?”

“Of course,” he responds calmly. “Thy safety remains a priority of mine.”

“Thank you, Messmer.” 

“Gratitude is not necessary, beloved.” 

Belladonna stops at a sparkling coast with deep blue water. Messmer dismounts, then assists you off the horse. Bending down, he offers you his arm, which you take gladly. He leads you towards the coast, the water rippling as it crashes over the sand. Flowers mimic the waves and sway in the breeze. You notice that there is a blanket sitting among the blue flowers with a basket. You look up at Messmer whose face is bright red.

“Did you plan this?” You ask incredulously.

“Certainly not alone. Rellana assisted me.” He lets go of your arm and sits on the blanket. You follow his movements.

“What could’ve possibly made you ask Rellana for help?” You giggle and adjust your dress.

“I wanted thee happy, but I was unsure of what to do. Thou requested to return to the Cerulean Coast and I wished to make the occasion special.” He toys with the blanket and avoids your gaze.

“What did Rellana tell you?”

“She instructed me to bring thou here for a picnic. I hope it is to thine liking.”

You move forwards and cup Messmer’s cheek in your palm. He gives you a bashful smile. “I love this. Thank you, my love.”

He exhales and kisses your palm, visibly relaxing. “When Rellana offered her advice, I held the belief that this would not suit thy tastes. I am glad I am wrong.”

“You worry too much.”

“I am aware, beloved.” He reaches over towards the basket and opens it. “I requested rowa fruit pastries be made for thee.”

Your mouth waters at the sweet smell drifting from the basket. Messmer hands you one and you carefully unwrap it and take a bite. It’s perfectly fluffy and sweet. You offer a bite to Messmer, and he shakes his head, not willing to take your treat away from you. You huff and refuse to budge. Rolling his eye, he takes a small bite and you smile, triumphant.

You finish your pastry and look out at the ocean. The crashing waves provide a soothing sound and you can practically feel Messmer’s tension burning away. His serpents nap on the soft blanket, curled into one another.

You lean forwards and pluck a glowing blue flower from the ground. The stems are long enough to weave together. Looking back at Messmer, you realize that this shade of blue would look perfect among his deep red locks.

“My love?” You call to him in a sing-song voice.

“Yes?” He knows you’re up to no good when you sound like that.

“Can you go gather some more flowers for me? I think 30 should be enough.”

“Thou wouldst have me pick flowers?” You understand where he’s coming from. As a hardened war veteran and powerful demigod, picking flowers was probably not on his list of things to do.

You shoot him a pleading look. “Please? For me?”

“Fine, but I shall never again hear the false notions that I do not love thee.”

“Thank you!” Even though he seems upset, you know he’s just faking. He could never be upset with you.

He gets up and gets to work gently plucking flowers from the ground. As most things are, they are comically small in his hands. You begin to gather some near you, stretching your arms to pick them. You create a small pile, delicately draping the flowers over one another without sullying the serene glow of the blue petals.

In a few minutes, Messmer returns to you holding a bundle of blue flowers. He sets them next to your pile and sits back down. You give him a quick peck on the lips and utter a quick ‘thank you,’ then begin weaving the stems together. You work on Messmer’s crown first, as his will take more flowers.

He watches your nimble fingers thread the flowers together. Your beautiful face pinches slightly in concentration, and you move strands of hair away from your face as you work. He moves closer to you and holds your hair away from your face, helping you work faster and more efficiently. The ruby earrings adorning your ears sparkle in the dim sunlight. He admires you and wonders how he ever got so lucky.

Soon, you finish his crown and present it triumphantly. He gives you a loving smile.

“For me, beloved?”

“Mhmm,” you say, placing it on his head. The blue glow creates a halo and compliments his red hair well. He looks stunningly handsome. 

“A consort is deserving of a crown.” He gestures to you.

“I’m making mine next.”

“Wouldst thou teach me how to make these crowns?” He scoots beside you.

Your eyes light up and you nod. Grabbing two flowers, you show him how to weave them together tightly, so they remain locked in place. He watches you work and when you hand him two more flowers, he does his best to mimic you. It is harder for him to tighten them, as his hands are much larger than yours, but he tries his best. Once he’s weaved them together, you tighten them.

With you watching and patiently helping him, he eventually creates a circular crown of bright blue flowers. 

“Aren’t they fun to make?” You beam up at him.

“Fun, yet frustrating for my hands are much larger than thy nimble ones. But I enjoyed making it. I had the most wondrous teacher.” His gold eye shimmers at you.

He lifts the crown and you lower your head. He places it delicately on your head and smooths your hair down. When you look up at him smiling, he finds himself marveling at your beauty. The Cerulean Coast pales in comparison to your sweet smile.

“Beautiful.” He breathes the word, in awe of you. He pulls you closer to him, pressing a loving kiss to your soft lips. He sighs, at peace once more, thanks to you. 

He’d have to remember to thank Rellana after this.

[loveshotzz]

Big Boss

older!steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: steve’s had a stressful day at work, you know just how to help.

word count: 1.8k

warnings: 18 +porn with little plot, we’re just giving our favorite daddy some sloppy toppy. oral (m receiving), dirty talk.

authors note: this is just a little fun blurb in the colors univserse but could be read as a stand alone. Had to finish this as a joe keery day gift to you. inspired by this post . thank you @pastel-pillows for always being so filthy in my asks and every single one of you for always being horny for our favorite boy with me.

Steve was stressed, you could tell by the way he only came out of his office once to refill his coffee mug instead the half dozen times he’d found excuses for your first two days here. Finally reappearing again when the clock struck 4pm, his bare feet pad with force against the plush cream carpet of his living room where you sit lounged out on the contrasting dark brown leather couch. A guest. Scratching his peppered scruff with deft nails he grumbles a “Hey honey” giving you a chaste kiss on that top of the head before running a clearly frustrated hand through his already messy hair stomping off to the kitchen.

Despite the itching feeling to go check on him, you decide to give him space. This was unchartered territory. You try to refocus on the passage of the book you’d left off on before he appeared, avoiding the picture of Jenny hanging on the wall that always seemed to catch your line of sight.

The pop of a cork being pulled makes you jump, the hollow noise echoing through the hall before the clink of glass signals he's pouring wine. You wonder if it’s the same as last night, cheeks heating up at the thought of the way he had you cumming on his tongue in the middle of dinner last night. The flush of the red wine made him insatiable, even though he said it was just you.

Biting your lip into a smile, warmth floods your stomach as you press your thighs together, your body already needing more and he’s not even touching you. Not yet. Closing your book with a sigh of defeat you glance towards the kitchen. Steve’s back is to you as he leans against the island, the black cotton of his shirt stretches over his shoulder blades when he lifts the glass to his lips, downing its contents in one gulp before pouring himself another one.

“You gonna save some for me baby?” The nickname you give him is new, but you say it so sweet it makes his muscles relax at the sound of your voice. You wonder if he’s smiling like you are.

He huffs out a tired laugh pushing off the counter to grab another glass before finally turning around to face you. The smile you’d hoped was there doesn’t disappoint as his hazel eyes meet yours through the thin rims of his glasses. Grabbing the bottle with his free hand, the wet spot in the lace you wore just for him grows when it looks small in his grasp.

“Got plenty saved for you.” He grins at his own joke making his way over as your gaze drops to his loose fitting worn jeans. They look like they’ve been in his possession for years, hanging low on his waist, you get a peek of the happy trail leading to what you’d hope to get to soon.

You uncurl your legs from under you, the small yoga shorts you have on leaving little to the imagination as your toes hit the floor. He steps confidentially between your spread legs, the spark that had been missing from his eyes returning as he towers over you.

“I know you do.” Your fingers gran at the denim on either side of his thighs using them as leverage to pull yourself to the edge of the couch, quirking an eyebrow with a knowing smirk when his pants start to strain.

He holds out your empty glass for you to take, fingertips brushing yours on purpose when you grab it. The intensity of his gaze has you squirming as he holds your eyes, filling the ruby liquid half way. He sets the bottle down on the end table when he’s done, not moving an inch from your space.

Taking a sip, the bitter fruit hits your tongue making you remember it tastes much better on his. Running a bold hand up his thigh, you hook a finger through his belt loop tugging gently.

“What’s got you so stressed?”

His face softens at your question, fingers reaching out to tuck a fly away hair behind your ear. Soft tips tracing the shell, sending goosebumps across your skin.

“Just a long day, nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.” Running his knuckles across your cheek bone, his lips twitch when you lean into his touch. Already putty in his hands.

“Let me help you relax?” Your words are soft when you look up at him, and the green specks in his eyes turning black.

“You wanna help me relax? How are you gonna do that baby?” The pad of his thumb swipes against your bottom lip when he asks. His jeans tighten even more when your tongue comes out to collect the salt from his skin.

“I’ve got a few ideas in mind, but I need you to sit down first.” your cheshire grin gives away your intentions and he gladly listens.

Standing up when he sits down, his eyes stay on the curves of your body. He watches you intently as you polish off your glass like he’d done in the kitchen before setting it down. Your cheeks heat up from the wine and his stare, getting his full attention like this always makes you bold.

You run your hands over all his favorite dips, the softness of your hips, finger tips catching the hem of his old shirt you’d thrown on lazily after your shower together this morning, teasing just a peek of the skin underneath. Leaning his head back against the cushions of the couch, you enjoy the way he greedily drinks you in.

“This looks an awful lot like teasing me honey.” There’s a playful edge to his voice despite how hungry he looks.

Giggling when you drop to your knees, it only makes his smile grow, pearly whites showing through his pink lips.

“I promise, that’s not my intention. Mr Harrington.” Practically purring his last name, his eyes roll in the back of his head at the sound of it. A low groan rumbling out of his chest when your hands start to wander up his legs, squeezing the muscles of his thighs under the layer of denim in your way. You needed it gone.

The bulge in his pants is intimidating when your fingers brush against the zipper, a low hiss slipping out from between his clenched teeth.

“You gonna let me take care of you?” you look up at him from under your lashes as you find the button of his jeans. Nodding, his pupils take over any color left in his eyes when you pop it open with ease.

“Need it baby.” He sighs when you start working at the zipper, lifting his hips for you so his pants pool at his ankles.

You’re more than happy to find he’s opted out of underwear when his cock springs free smacking hard against the dark happy trail covering his stomach. Precum already leaks from its pretty pink tip and it kicks up when the heat of your breath fans over the sensitive skin. You’ll never get over how big he is, always challenging yourself to take him deeper than the last time even if it left your throat bruised in the process.

The carpet is rough against your knees as you scoot closer, wasting no time to take him in your hands. Your fingers are barely able to wrap around the girth of him as you lick a long flat stripe up the underside. The tip of your tongue tracing the large vein protruding and it makes him exhale a loud breath you didn’t know he was even holding.

“Shit, honey.”

You do it again with a little more mess, spit coating your lips before sucking gently at his sensitive head to collect whatever he already has for you with a greedy tongue. His long fingers find their way into your hair when you take him halfway into the heat of your mouth, humming against him when he starts gently scratching at your scalp.

“S’good for me. Look at you, so pretty like this.”

His praise goes straight between your legs, as you hollow out your cheeks. Spurring you on with his words you try and open up more of your throat for him pumping whatever you couldn’t fit with your hand until you could.

Your nose brushes against the dark patch of hair that frames the base of him when you finally hit your limit. His moan vibrating off the walls echoing through the empty house as you take him deeper than you ever had before.

“God, just like that angel. Taking me so good. Like you were made for this. Made for me.”

You can feel the intensity of his stare, he loves watching you like this. Head bobbing up and down with tears prickling the corners of your eyes that keep looking up at him searching for more. Your tongue swirls around his length in a way that makes him lose his mind while his fingers stay gentle, continuing to play with your hair. His voice is thick with want whispering praises that make you feel special on your knees for him.

The outline of his cock moving inside your throat has him twitching, saliva dripping onto your hand that keeps stroking him while the other starts massaging his heavy balls. His toes curl into the carpet when you somehow fit the rest of him in your mouth, your nose hitting the warm skin of his stomach.

“Fuck! honey, I’m gonna cum, holy shit.” He tugs at your hair signaling to meet his eyes as he starts thrusting up, gagging you just enough to make you restrict around him in a way that has him shooting hot down your throat.

His jaw goes slack, brows pinching together while he holds you right where he wants you, forgetting his gentle nature as his orgasm washes away the stress of his day.

You swallow everything he gives you, making sure to suck him clean as you slowly start releasing him from the confines of your mouth. He shudders with a bob of his Adam's apple when your lips let him go with a loud pop, tears staining your cheeks with a proud smirk. He needed a picture of you like this.

-read more is a bitch line-

———————————-

[cinnbar-bun]

Zoro Birthday HCs!

Rating: SFW + NSFW hcs (NSFW under read more)

A/n: these were posted during his birthday im only just posting it here now haha.

GN reader and pronouns.

Read at my ao3 here!

SFW

It’s Zoro’s birthday! Yay! And that means lots of celebrating.

Or, in Zoro’s case, it means more napping and drinking.

Yes, it is a bit different but Zoro likes more lowkey birthday celebrations where he can rest as an excuse.

“Fine, since you’re twisting my arm about it, I’ll just go and lay down.”

He says, as if he wasn’t smiling and wanting to sleep after eating you and Sanji’s birthday breakfast.

He mostly wants birthday cuddles and kisses while he’s trying to sleep. He wants to have you slung on him like a koala and snoring in his ear for his nap.

He admits he doesn’t really need any gifts, but he’s not going to complain if you got him something. He’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth when you reveal the gift box(es) to him.

If you get him something personalized or something like jewelry, expect him to glance in confusion at you.

“Why’d you get me something like this? Not really the fashionable type, ya know.”

But he will be wearing it every day from then on and will never take it off.

Author note: god he’d look ridiculously hot with a thin gold chain on his neck and I want it so bad.

Drinks a lot tonight. He’s going to deny that his birthday is anything special but he’s chugging it like he’s liberated another country. Maybe it’s because you and the crew care so much that it makes a day he normally skips on so full of love and joy.

Sanji made the cake (and designed it at your discretion) so Zoro acts like it ain’t shit.

“It’s just a cake. No need to go crazy over it.”

He ate like three slices before Luffy barged in and swallowed the rest of it.

He continues to have a great day with the crew after they make sure to throw him a small party as well as give him their gifts.

Speaking of gifts…

NSFW

When you tell Zoro you have another gift for him in his quarters, well, he’s a bit shocked. You already did so much for him, and you’re giving him another gift?

He follows your instructions and finds you on his bed, naked, pressing one his swords against your body while you’re holding a bottle of expensive sake.

Let’s just say his fourth sword started getting up.

He can’t wait to dive in and have fun with this “gift.”

He manhandles you a bit more, holding you tightly and gripping your hips while he’s busy kissing you roughly and exploring your mouth.

He enjoys drinking the sake from your mouth in these scenarios, mostly because he likes to fluster you enough to let it drip from your mouth.

He also likes to lay you down and pour the sake on your body so he can lick and slurp it up. The sounds are almost so obscene it makes you turn red.

“Eyes on me. Don’t get shy on me now. You’re the one who wanted to give me this gift, right?”

He’s happily performing oral on you over and over, to the point where you’re wondering if he remembers it’s his birthday, not yours.

If you insist on giving him oral, he ain’t complaining. Just know he’ll be a bit rougher and grip your hair tighter. And the stuff he’s whispering and telling you is so sinful, it’s almost impossible not to feel your heart race.

“Fuck. Just like that. You can take more. I know you can.”

You two are going at it all night, and while Zoro normally is keen on keeping you quiet, tonight, he throws caution into the wind and doesn’t care how loud you are. Heck, he even starts encouraging you to scream his name.

“Just like that, baby. Who’s fucking you this good?”

Maybe it’s the alcohol making him rather tipsy enough to not give a shit about what could be going on.

When you two finish after a long night, he pulls you in close and kisses the top of your head.

“Hey… I don’t think I thanked you for today… thanks. Really.”

You’re falling asleep on his chest but the look in his eyes is so full of love and adoration for you, and he sighs happily knowing he’s got you.

You’re the best thing in his life, and he knows that despite all the gifts he got today… you’re still the best gift he could ever ask for or even deserve.

So he presses another kiss to your forehead and enjoys the afterglow of a wonderful birthday night, his mind drifting away to things he could do for you.

[esmedelacroix]

13 days til' Christmas

christmas party with exhusband!toji fushiguro ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

cw: very suggestive(got carried away/honestly its smutty idk what's wrong with me), shower sex, unprotected p in v, angsty

a/n: y'all im so sorry this was supposed to be a fluffy little christmas post i swear. I also hate this and will probably rewrite though.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Christmas was just around the corner. It was supposed to be a time of meeting family, gift-giving, and togetherness. Instead, you were stuck going through paperwork. Divorce paperwork.

You and your husband had agreed to divorce three months ago but the media still wouldn't know about it until you finished the last of the legal work.

You didn't know why but you couldn’t bring yourself to sign the final paper. It was so stupid that you were the one that suggested divorce and you couldn’t even stand to sign your own papers.

Toji probably already signed his and your lawyer(and his) were nagging the two of you about the papers.

It didn't help that you and Toji were in the same line of work. On top of that, you were both acting in the same romantic comedy show as love interests. The cherry on top was that the two of you got an invite to a Christmas party. It was only the most lavish Christmas party in all of Hollywood.

The two of you decided to go together because you were added to the guest list far before you divorced. It would be your last date. The two of you would have to make a huge effort to not argue in the middle of the party.

Your thoughts were beginning to tire you so you took one last look at the papers, unsigned again, like every other night for the past three months. You sighed as you picked up the book you had started when you and Toji were still sharing the bed you were now sitting in alone.

He had taken the liberty to move out a month after the divorce, leaving you your estate. You were in this big ass house with no one to share it with.

It was still the same house. The only difference was that Toji was gone and you were tucked into his side of the bed. It wasn't because you missed him or anything you were just there because you missed his scent and his warmth. But you didn't miss him, you were happy he was gone. Right? This is everything you wanted. Right?

You weren't wearing one of the button-ups that he had left on accident because you missed him. It just conveniently fits as a comfy oversized shirt for you.

You most certainly were not playing the old jazz songs that he liked to play when he forced you to slow dance with him because you missed him. You just never liked to admit to him that you kind of liked the songs that he played to his face.

As you slept, thoughts of him consumed, and for the first time you wondered, was this all a big mistake?

. . .

Weeks flew by as you found new crazy ways to keep your mind busy while your heart got heavier. As soon as you knew it, the day of the Christmas party arrived and you could finally call him without needing a stupid excuse.

You heard the line ring hoping and praying that he would answer so that you could hear his voice again after weeks of being starved of that beautiful sound.

"Hello?" he answered.

You sighed in relief as the vibrations of his voice entered your ears like water in a land of drought.

"Hey Toji, how much time do I have to get ready?" you asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

He took some time to answer but soon replied, "I'll be there in three hours,"

"Okay, I'll be ready by then," you replied as you fiddled with the necklace that he gifted you for your first Christmas together as a married couple.

. . .

"I don't know what to get you, I know you'll like anything I give you but I want it to mean something," he said after asking you for the millionth time what you wanted for Christmas.

"I already told you I wouldn't be so upset if my gift was you[oiled up on the bed with whipped cream and fruit roll-ups in hand]," you replied.

"Please just give me one item to give you and I'll leave you alone,” he pleaded.

You took some time to think before saying, "Get me a necklace, any necklace and I promise you I'll wear it every single day, even if for some crazy reason were not together,"

"We’ll never not be together, I'll never let you go,” he promised.

. . .

"Alright I'll see you then," he said.

I miss you...

"Okay, bye-bye,"

I miss you more...

Just like that, you went back to feeling like you were living in a world with no sound worth hearing.

You got up from your bed to get ready. You wanted to blow him away, you took a steamy everything shower, and did a face mask, and applied some light makeup.

You scavenged through your closet looking for the perfect dress to wear. Then you realized, you didn't have to wear a dress. You decided to wear a festive red suit with nothing under the vest. You were displaying a mouth-watering plunging cleavage. Not many people had seen your sternum tattoo but you didn't care to hide it.

You finished off the outfit with a killer pair of Louboutins. Everything that you were wearing were things that he had bought you thinking you would look good in them.

The only issue is that you were too scared to wear them because of your image. You let the increased amount of fame you were receiving get to your head. Maybe that was part of the reason why the arguments started.

You slicked your hair back and kept it down. It was a new look for you but it was a vibe you wanted to experiment with. It was so you. You were hidden behind bright pastels and fairy-like dresses all the time, it would be your first red carpet dressed in clothes you liked.

You were lost in the moment of getting ready with music blasting and putting your earrings on you didn't hear the front door open or the footsteps up the stairs.

You fidgeted with the necklace as you admired yourself in the mirror. You never embraced the more sensual side of yourself until now. It was weird but it felt right.

Even so, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. Were you showing too much skin? Did you just look like a little kid playing dress-up?

"You look incredible," Toji assured as if he could read your every thought, He admired you through the mirror with a small smile on his face.

Your body jumped at the sudden intrusion. "Oh I didn't realize you were there," you said, crossing your arms feeling almost naked in front of him.

He walked up to you and uncrossed your arms placing his hands on your shoulders afterwards. He eyed you from your hair to your face down to your cleavage. His eyes stayed there for a while. She’s still wearing it. He thought to himself looking at the necklace he gifted you.

"You look perfect baby," he said and for a moment everything felt right. It felt like you weren't divorced. It felt like you were a married couple in love again.

You hugged him burying your face in his chest. "Thank you," you mumbled. You thought you would have the self-control to hold back but you didn't. Being in his arms was addictive and his scent intoxicating.

You quickly scurried away to get your clutch and the two of you went down into the car. He opened the door for you as always and he gave you aux as usual. It was like nothing had changed at all. You weren't married on paper but the two of you didn't act like it at all. It was as if you never got divorced. Kind of.

The two of you drove to his new house where the limo was waiting. There was a red carpet for this holiday party. The two of you were in the middle of a long line of limousines. You could see the celebrities on the red carpet taking photos together.

As you got closer and closer to the entrance of the event, you started to bounce your leg. Your nerves were starting to get to you and you began overthinking about what everyone else would think of you.

Just then you felt a large warm hand on your thigh. You looked down to see Toji's hand. He gave your thigh a reassuring squeeze. You looked up at him, he was looking away but you appreciated the gesture. You could almost sense the shy smile and the blush that were most likely gracing his face.

If just for a moment you could just pretend that August never happened. Like you never got into that one argument that unpacked too many emotions at once. If you could pretend that everything was okay and normal, you would rest your head heavy with your thoughts, on his broad shoulder.

And so you did. You held on to his muscular arm and snuggled into his side. You could feel yourself calm down in his presence alone. He took your hand in his and looked down at you admiring your beauty. The time felt right, his perfume filled your head and the clicks of cameras started to die down. "I've missed you Toji, every single day that we were apart, I've missed you," you revealed. To him and to yourself you admitted that you missed him and regret consumed you whole.

Toji turned to you, shock painted across his face. He crouched his head down so she could look into your eyes. "I've missed you t-," Toji started before their limousine door opened suddenly.

The world around the two of you began to fill with the clicks of cameras and the chatter of reporters and celebrities. You flashed Toji a nervous look and he gave your hand a squeeze before stepping out of the limousine before you and helping you out.

Gasps followed with your stunning entrance. Your look was unique to what the media was used to seeing you. It was also far fetched from the image that your entertainment company wanted you to maintain.

Toji kept your hand in his the entire time. His touch comforted you. You felt confident enough to pose with him and by your lonesome. You looked over at Toji who was already watching you after you were done posing.

The two of you waved to the press and entered the venue. "You looked amazing out there," Toji said, looking away from you with a light blush adorning his cheeks.

"Thank you, you didn't look too shabby yourself," you quipped.

He chuckled and shook his head at you. Everything felt right. You weren't alone anymore.

. . .

Dinner went on without a hitch. You and Toji allowed yourselves to have fun and let loose. After the party, you and Toji got into the limo and you told the driver your address.

You and Toji sat in the car in a comfortable silence recharging your social batteries. The two of you were holding hands, you were snuggled into his side taking in his scent. He was running his hands through your hair. The ride was far too short, and as soon as you knew it, you had arrived at your house. But you would have to leave home behind in that limo.

"Look, I know our situation but, do you want to come in tonight? Just for today please I don't want to be alone tonight," you practically begged.

"Sure, okay," he agreed as he looked you in the eyes sympathetically.

The two of you thanked and tipped your driver before entering the house together. Toji led you up to your room and ran to the shower telling you that you could join him if you wanted. You waited and thought for a while before getting up and deciding to take him up on his offer.

You stripped completely naked before entering the bathroom. You could only make out his figure through the steamy glass of the shower. You opened the shower door and joined him.

The two of you were completely silent helping get each other's backs and helping with shampoo. It felt just like the times before except there was this lingering feeling of tension and uneasiness you just wanted to shake off.

You hugged Toji from behind. Your naked body against his, water trickling down both of you. He turned around, running his hand through your hair and raking it away from your face. Staring into your eyes longingly before crashing his lips against yours.

Your eyes were squeezed tightly shut. Were you scared? in pain? No. You were sorry. So so sorry. In between heated wet kisses, all you could get out was apology after apology.

. . .

"I don't know Baby, I just feel like you aren't very authentic, like you're acting like someone different, even around me now," Toji said.

"Well, the company said that it would be best if I acted this way, they said I would be taken more seriously," you explained.

"Baby, you’re going to lose yourself in this role, because you're just acting, this isn't you," he said.

"How do you know if it's me or not? Maybe this how I act, how do you know?" you asked.

"How do I know? I’m your husband. I am your husband," he said sternly.

. . .

You hadn't even realized that you were crying. It all looked like water anyway.

Toji's hand traveled from the sides of your face all the way down to your waist pulling you into him. You could feel his hot length twitch and harden against your thigh.

You moaned into the kiss thrusting your hips against his, your body seemed to have a mind of its own.

. . .

"I don't understand why you're acting like this. It feels like I don't know you and I'd like my wife back," Toji said as he entered the break room.

You had acted like an airheaded bimbo during the interview because your management told you that it would clean up your image.

"Well maybe you really don't know me," you rebutted.

"Why would you want to act stupid for approval from the internet instead of wanting to be recognized as one of the few outspoken actresses out there," he retorted.

. . .

Toji left hot kisses on your jawline that translated to hickeys on your neck. As he kissed down to your cleavage he kissed the pendant of the necklace that he gifted you that you still wore all the time.

You moaned his name loudly in pleasure, crying tears of regret, sadness, and euphoric joy.

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

so very sorry

. . .

"Don't you like me more now?! Why don't you like me more now?" you questioned after Toji refused to have sex with you unless you stopped this act.

Everything was different kissing you felt different, sex you felt different. It felt wrong because he felt like he was cheating on you with a completely different woman.

"Are we even married anymore? Do you even want to be married anymore?" you questioned.

"Babe, honestly I don't even know anymore,”

"I want a divorce. Let's get a divorce. Now," you said, waiting for him to fight with you, to fight for you to say anything.

He simply shook his head raising his hands in defeat before burying his head in them. That night he left and the only times you saw him again were for legal issues.

. . .

Your back was flush against the glass wall of the shower. Your legs were dangling in the air as Toji thrust into you holding your legs up and wrapping them around his waist.

Your fingers were clawing at his back as his length almost split you in half.

You forget what it felt like to be so full. "Missed this pussy, missed it so much," Toji mumbled with his head buried in the crook of your neck as he tried with all his might not to go ahead and just explode inside of you.

You were milking him, unable to stop your walls from clamping down on his cock. You were uncontrollably creaming on his cock making a mess of him and his thighs.

"Ahn, I'm so close, I'm close Daddy can I please cum?" you asked, barely making sense.

"Yeah, c'mon baby show me how good I make you feel," he urged.

You needed no other words you immediately started squirting as Toji fucked you through your high chasing his own.

You felt his hot cum shoot up into you as his tip kissed your cervix. You never felt so full until then. You let out one last apology before leaning against his chest.

"All is forgiven baby, I'm just happy to have my wife back," Toji admitted.

"I've missed you like a fish stranded on the surface missed the feeling of water pumping through its gills. You're a daily need and I've been so deprived of you for so long," Toji said as he helped you shower again after making a mess of you.

It would've been my greatest regret to let you go...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist:

@aripet22

[meimi-haneoka]

Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 80 (FINAL): Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

CCS Faaaans!!! Welcome to our last (?) monthly appointment with the analysis, commentary and list of translation differences for THE FINAL chapter of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card!!! 🥹🥹🥹

Aaaaaah, I can't believe that after seven years and a half of serialization, we're finally here!!

I still remember the strong emotions I felt when I had seen the pages of Nakayoshi for chapter 1 in advance, back in June 2016....it seemed like a miracle, to me. Like a "mirage". And back then I still didn't know just HOW MUCH of a precious miracle this sequel would've become to me!

So it's with shaky hands and a trembling, emotional heart that I write this post to you...I hope you can excuse the length of it (maybe take a break in between?), I'll do my best to highlight the translation differences (unfortunately we definitely got some for this finale, one in particular made me quite mad) so you can spot them immediately among the sea of words and feels I will inevitably pour into my writing...

The "Beaver Moon" was big and shiny just a few days ago, and like all the full moons at the end of the month, it brought us a chapter, a very special finale for this series.

And as I usually do, I really cannot skip this silly moment that accompanied me for so many commentary posts, so here you go, my dear readers, the last Gif Of The Month!!!

I had already decided that, no matter the content of the chapter, I would've used this, because it is my intention to give my congratulations to CLAMP for reaching the end of this wonderful story and also thank them for giving me a multitude of emotions over the years. I've been happy, angry, excited, teary-eyed, frustrated, confused, hopeful, in pain, in love. I'll always be grateful to them for changing their mind and deciding to give us a sequel of this beloved series, after so many years of dreaming of it, and for making me fall in love with the new characters, none excluded!

So, off we go, under the cut for this commentary of the finale!!

The Color Page

Oh my heart 😭😭😭 I really wondered if they would go for it, if they would shoot us with feels right from the first pages and they did, they paid homage to the color page of chapter 50 of the old manga!! ❤️ We can see the same bluebirds that were featured back then, still holding in their little beaks lots of ribbons coming from the pink roses bouquet that Sakura is preciously holding... And that also made me realize that these are the same birds that were featured last month for Akiho and Kaito's color page too!!! ✨ They definitely, definitely wanted us to get the message that all of them will be truly happy from now on. ❤️I actually appreciate even more that Mokona-sensei took care in including those birds for the color page of Akiho/Kaito too.

Back in the old manga, CLAMP had given a comment for the illustration of chapter 50, saying that it was created that way to give a sense of looking forward to the future, and the absence of the Star Wand here was a precise request from Ohkawa to Mokona, because Sakura would've tried her best from now on, without necessarily relying on her magic.

Here, in chapter 80, we can somehow see the same theme but Sakura isn't proceeding "forward" towards a specific direction, it seems more like she's floating comfortably, assisted by her loyal Flight Card, embellished for the occasion (it makes it look kind of "upgraded", right?). I get a sense of Sakura feeling way more comfortable with her natural gift than she's ever been.

The blue sky, the ribbons, the bluebirds, the bouquet of pink flowers, the presence of a flying Card, Sakura's bare feet and her beautiful smile are definitely elements common to both illustrations.

Here Sakura wears a longer outfit, more elegant, which of course makes her look more grown up, as it should!

The editorial text on this last page doesn't carry words of thanks like in the color page of the final chapter of the old manga (those this time around were printed directly on the cover of Nakayoshi), but actually "My invincible spell is....'Everything is surely going to be alright' "! I think it was a very nice choice to feature the Invincible Spell in the front page of this final chapter. ✨

Between this and the absolutely divine Sakura on the cover of Nakayoshi, I can feel my heart softening and filling up with lots of hope and comfort, helping me to cope with the imminent "loss" that I'm going to experience.

BUT! It's not time to let us be caught by those mischievous feelings that want us to cry at all costs, and so we're gonna proceed for the actual chapter!!

The Books In Fujitaka's Library

The final chapter starts with Sakura chatting with Eriol and Kaho in a videocall over the phone!! The thing that immediately stands out is that Sakura is still wearing the full-winter uniform, so it's apparent right from the first panel that rather than turning back, the events are proceeding forward from where we left them, exactly as Sakura wished.

It's still winter, spring is almost here and we're almost towards the end of the 1st year of middle school for Sakura & co.

Another thing that I, as a foreigner, couldn't help but doing is calculating what time should've been for Eriol and Kaho, since they live in Europe like me! 😂😂😂 Having followers and friends all over the world, it's just normal for me. Well, if this is early morning, it should be night for the Europeans, so maybe that background at the window should be black?? 😂😆 Who knows if sensei will fix it, in the tankobon?

But enough with the silly things, let's see what Sakura is discussing with these two.

The very first thing we hear is quite shocking: Sakura slept four entire days to recuperate from the insane fatigue after the last battle!!

When I've heard that, my immediate thought was going towards all kinds of realistic, very practical issues like "did they keep her hydrated, in these four days? What about the bladder? 😱" but come on, way crazier things happened in this finale and this is the last thing we should worry about 😂

Eriol sweetly says that everyone waited impatiently for Sakura to wake up (I can imagine that!! Syaoran and Akiho must have died of anxiety). In Japanese, his sentence is somehow left trailing off, it gives me the impression that he wanted her to know that she's cared for, but in a very polite manner and avoiding to make her feel guilty for it. Sakura, as the good girl she is, tries to apologize for making them worry, apologies that Eriol doesn't need, so she ends up thanking both him and Kaho for what they did for her (and we can see Kaho peeking in the videocall! I'm glad she recovered too! As usual she's wearing nice outfits, the transparent veil over the skirt is interesting!).

Kaho, with her usual "maternal" aura, says that seeing her in good shape and hearing her cheerful voice over the phone is more than enough to her, which makes Sakura happy.

Eriol then proceeds to ask a question about the books he saw flying away at full speed after Sakura removed all the spells and the graphics from the artifact (the huge book), which then transformed into said smaller books: he wants to know where they ended up to, and lo and behold, they're nowhere other than in Fujitaka's library, in the basement of Sakura's house! 😱

So we can see a flashback depicting a scene right after Sakura woke up (she's still in her PJs), and her father shows her a pile of ancient-looking books sitting on his desk and on the floor.

Yes, those are all the magical books that Akiho had read and (unknowingly) engraved on herself, which were about to crush her soul. There's really a lot of them, so I don't have a hard time believing that she was really on the verge of losing her soul forever.

As Fujitaka tries to explain himself, it seems Sakura worked so hard and in the end those books ended up landing right at their house!

And then, in a very moving scene, we see Fujitaka being just so happy because finally, after so many years (since 4th grade) of just watching over his daughter going through several hurdles and not being able to be helpful in any concrete way (because he didn't have magical powers, and even when magic was passed onto him, he didn't know how to use it), NOW he can finally be of assistance to her.

He then tells her not to worry, because he already got several "weird" books in his collection (hell we knew, the Cthulhu books were surely a surprise 😂), and that anything goes where it's supposed to go, when its due time comes. He believes these books, too, will reach their new fated destination one day, so until then, he will take care of them. ✨

By the way, you all saw it, right?? YES, it's there again. Fay's tattoo on that book! 😂CLAMP REALLY wanted us to see it, didn't they?

Is this insistence in featuring elements coming from Tsubasa a sign of something in the future...? Or are they just messing with us....?

I bet even this book one day will find its way to Celes country, to have that tattoo used in the way we all know.

Anyway, I REALLY loved this scene because it just shows CLAMP's firm intention to involve *all* the main and side characters in this collective effort to help Sakura solving Akiho and Kaito's situation (Fujitaka was indeed the one missing from the support group!).

It's just so good to know that a tiny frustration that Fujitaka expressed in this arc (how he couldn't be of help to his own daughter) was finally put to rest too, with this new task he took upon himself.

I strongly believe that Sakura, once again guided by her infallible instinct and empathy, subconsciously wished those books into her father's library, because she just knew that her father would be the perfect person to guard them and keep them safe for the time due.

The Cards

Back to the present, Eriol comments that Sakura's father is really dependable, and she can only warmly agree!

But Sakura's got questions of her own, for Eriol. She asks what happened to the transparent cards (note: even this time, Sakura keeps calling them with the japanese term 透明, "transparent", and never calls those cards クリアカード, the English term that gives name to the arc).

Eriol gives his own explanation: the transparent Cards were probably bound into the book of the guardian Sakura met (and not "befriended" like the ENG wrote), and as such, they became magical power used to activate the "forbidden magic".

About the newly created Remind and Blank Cards, Eriol guesses that the last magic that Sakura summoned thanks to those two Cards was so "violent" (the term used 凄烈 means "violent, intense, fierce") that it ended up exhausting completely the Cards' magical power.

Sakura says "so...they're gone", confirming that yes, even those two disappeared after being used.

Eriol asks about the Cards Sakura had from before, our dear Sakura Cards, and she releases them in the room to show to Eriol their current appearance: it seems like they have taken up some elements from the transparent cards, mixing up their designs! They look really cool and empowered, like this! Eriol attempts to explain this occurence as an influence of the fact that Sakura used some of them with her new Dream Staff, hence why their new appearance!

It seems like she'll be able to use all of them with that staff from now on, so this is a first hint to something that will be referenced in a stronger way in a few pages.....

Kaho gets closer to Eriol's computer and says "Don't worry, I can see they still love you all the same, Sakura-chan, there's no problem about it!" and then she spots Flight among the deck. Sakura confirms happily that it's still here and Eriol says "it's a testament to its perseverance!".

And then, Sakura wants to talk to Eriol about Akiho and Kaito too......but we're not allowed to hear it yet, because we only see Sakura nodding and "uh-uh"-ing at the phone and then Kero warns her that she's going to be late for school, so our girl hurriedly hangs up with her friends abroad.

Her dear small glutton guardian tells her to not push herself since she barely woke up yesterday, and when Sakura goes to pick the pin she wants to use today in the jewelry box (it's the pin Yukito gave her as a present in chapter 1!), she picks up the Star Key. And here, unfortunately, I have to point out the first concrete translation difference of this chapter in a scene that many were waiting for:

ENG: "This key....I wonder if it'll leave someday, too. To go to where it should be, to the side of the person it chooses to be with"

JP: "This key, too...I wonder if one day it'll go...to the side of the person it should be with"

Now, what irritates me here is that in their usual need to embellish the translation, they added an unnecessary "the person it chooses to be with", which is something they made up because there's no mention of the verb "choosing" or anything like that in Japanese, and so it makes it seem like the key will one day just go away on its own, on its own volition.

Now, this is a VERY important scene because we all know what this is foreshadowing, the transition of the Star Wand from Sakura Kinomoto to the Reborn Sakura Clone in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle through a dream, that cameo that made us scream all over the world in 2009. That scene was accompanied by a very beautiful and mature speech by Sakura Kinomoto herself, a sign that this "handover" was totally a well pondered choice of Sakura herself, not the key's.

The translation of this scene here in Clear Card tampers with the understanding of the events we got from Tsubasa and it really makes me wonder if the translator knows of this reference at all.....

Continuing on, Sakura goes downstairs and meets Touya having breakfast (and omg Kero goes to him!!! I still can't get used to these two interacting in the open), as usual Touya teases her calling her "monster", to which Sakura stiffens, but she shakes it off to thank her brother, to which he answers "no snacks for four days"!

Sakura at that point gets angry asking why, but he diverts her attention pointing out that she's gonna be late, so the girl bolts out of the door......not hearing her brother saying "that's the amount of days you haven't woken up, you silly!" (and Kero goes along with it).

Now, the ENG translation here interpreted this as a "payback", like Touya isn't going to make her snacks for 4 more days as a "payback" for making him worry like that, and initially I interpreted it like that too. But as I checked the Spanish translation, they interpreted it differently, as if Touya wasn't talking about the snacks that he won't prepare for the next 4 days, but actually the ones Sakura didn't eat during the period in which she was sleeping, and I think they're right because Touya calls Sakura "dummy, silly" so he might be referencing the fact that she misunderstood, here! Anyway, it's not a serious difference but I wanted to report it here anyway.

Sakura finds Syaoran out of her house waiting for her, and we see him all happy and embarrassed to go pick his girl up right outside her house to go to school together 🥰Syaoran got contacted yesterday from her (I don't know why in the ENG there's "last night", it's just "yesterday"), telling him that she was ok now, but of course that wasn't enough for our worrywart prince charming, so he's here this morning to escort her to school! Sakura can't avoid commenting "aw, you were worried about me!" and Syaoran honestly but embarassedly answers "that, and I wanted to see you as soon as possible". Omg these two...flirting like crazy in front of the audience even in the finale!! 😂(well of course!!). As one of my friends reminded me, this line was already said by Syaoran before, when he was revealing the whole truth about the Sakura Cards and was explaining to Sakura that he came back to Japan earlier than scheduled also because he wanted to see her sooner.

After a good dose of blushing which is always good for the health in the early morning, Sakura thanks Syaoran not only for walking her to school, but also for all the rest that he's done. She's clearly referencing the events of 4 days ago, and Syaoran answers that if he helped her even just a little, then he's happy. This vague reference to the events of 4 days ago seems lost in the ENG, as Syaoran casually answers that he's happy if he can help her sometimes (?). 少しでも means "even just a little", not "sometimes".

On the way to school, Sakura says that she already contacted everyone to say that she woke up and to thank them, but she seems to be wanting to go thanking Yukito directly at his house later, also because Nakuru and Suppi are there! As Syaoran adds, Sakura can see Tomoyo and Akiho later at school. Sakura says "...yes" with a slightly sad face because she already knows something about one of them.....

We switch to Yukito's house for the last look at our "snow bunny", still in Nakuru's company (when are they going back to England???) and wondering what kind of sweets should he offer to Sakura today, while Nakuru is hellbent on finally having Sakura call her "Nakuru-chan" today (I told you, she's like a 5 years old girl, she sees herself as a kid like Sakura 😂).

Then, turning suddenly serious, she says to Yukito: "Don't you dare doing anything else that requires a 'payment', understood?", which immediately made me realize that Nakuru remembers about Yukito's pact with the Tsukimine Shrine!! Then, they didn't just recover the memories strictly relating to Akiho!!!

Yukito, with a big smile, says "well...I can't promise you that" which understandably triggers in Nakuru a "Yukito, you're really stubborn!!" from the bottom of her heart! 😂

But there's a kitty sleeping on a cushion (or feigning to?), our dear Suppi who thinks to himself "All of you moon-aligned types are stubborn!!" and let me tell you, this arc showed us ALL the proofs of that! 😂(Yes, Kaito, we're looking at you! 😂😂😂).

Brand New World With You

Homeroom is starting in Sakura's class and Tomoyo makes sure that Sakura will take it easy since this is her first day back at school.

The teacher comes in, and she's already got a news for everyone (and here my heart already knew what it was): Akiho Shinomoto will be transferring away in one month! (Yes! it's Shinomoto again!)

The class is shocked, as Tomoyo is, but Sakura smiles and doesn't look surprised at all...

At lunch, everyone is so sad about Akiho transferring and Chiharu expresses how much she'll miss her, but also Naoko who loses a precious advisor for her scripts and a great actress since she wanted to cast her for the next play, seeing how wonderful she was in "Alice in Clockland". Tomoyo says that the chorus club will miss her too, and Yamazaki comments that Akiho lived in Hong Kong before transferring to Japan, so he asks her if she's still going abroad, even this time around. Akiho confirms, and then remembers that she needs to go to the teacher's room. Sakura insists to accompany her even if Akiho knows the way by now (and here we have a sweet, nostalgic recall to the same scene of the first chapter Akiho appeared in, chapter 7! Even the lines are almost the same). Of course, Sakura insisted because she wants to have a private chat with her....on their way there, she says she heard from Eriol that morning that she would be transferring abroad, but she would like to ask the reason why to Akiho herself.

Akiho says that, after all that happened, that same night she talked to Eriol (she calls him "Hiiragizawa-san" ❤️) for the first time.

He told her that he would be supporting her in any choice or anything she'd want to do from now on (the "anything I would choose" is missing from the ENG translation), and support her even with Kaito's circumstances.

Akiho was told by Eriol that Kaito kept hurting himself the more he used time magic, and that he shouldn't have been in a good condition after messing even with the "forbidden magic"....but apparently, Sakura managed to work a little miracle when she used Rewind on him.

When Sakura brought Kaito back to his original appearance, the pocket watch she used was almost completely repaired and its time stopped, and thanks to that, Kaito's time is stopped too.

I had already noticed that Kaito's life seems to be strictly connected to that pocket watch, as the more damage he took on his body, the more the watch broke. Sooooo in this scene we have some important information:

1- Eriol mentions the time magic Kaito used, how he kept using it and also the effect it would have on him, so it's legit to think that even him recovered the memories of the unrewritten timeline, not only the stuff strictly concerning Akiho.

2- Kaito's life is in a halted state (reminds you of someone?) and this means that his life is not flowing like other people's: he won't age, but his physical condition won't also get worse, as Sakura infers right after. The ENG translation suggests that Kaito won't be feeling any pain at all, but that's not the case: Sakura uses the words もっと辛かったり痛かったり, "more in pain and have a rough time (than this)", so he's still going to feel not so well from time to time, but at least his condition won't get worse than this.

Akiho confirms, and explains that because of this, they're going to look for a magic that will be able to heal Kaito and, in addition to that, a magic that would be able to make his stopped time move forward again. This won't certainly take short time and it won't be easy....but Akiho smiles beautifully while saying that she's sure that there is a book that carries those spells she's looking for.

And then....with a sad smile, she says there's another reason.

And here my heart sinked because I wanted to see her so badly and I got the confirmation she wasn't with them.......😭

I'm talking about Momo, of course, and Akiho agrees with me because the other reason they'll travel around is that she wants to see her beloved Momo and even the "Alice in Clockland" book.

This indeed sounds a lot like the resolutions of the characters of Tsubasa in their own finale, but after all, we've been saying for long time that Kaito and Akiho had many situations paralleling those of the SyaoSaku in TRC.

Akiho, with the most radiant and beautiful smile she's ever had, says that she's sure she'll find so many other books she's never read, beside the ones she'll be looking for.

"Because now I can go wherever I want, whenever I want, all by my own volition. Together with Kaito-san"

Sakura points out that books are, indeed, really special and important to her.

And really, Akiho's smile on this beatiful spread was enough to heal my heart from the disappointment of knowing that Momo wasn't with them, because Akiho really looks happy to start this journey with Kaito...she feels free for the first time ever.

No more clan dictating where she should go or what she should read, at her own expense at that, but also the situation between her and her beloved Kaito found its solution, with her stating loud and clear that even if he's her most important person and he did all of that for her, she's the only one who can decide her own happiness and change her own life. Akiho is finally free from all constraints, both from evil and from love, and honestly it's so comforting to see her so confident and happy.

My True Name Is....

And talking about Kaito, we switch to the Shinomoto mansion, where we see him in bed (he's still recovering - also we see his room for the first time!) and Akiho is telling him of how her friends took the news of her transferring abroad.

She was happy to hear that they're going to miss her, I bet this was the first time that people took any interest in her, so much to get to the point of saying "I'll miss you".....which totally explains why she's glad to hear that. She finally made true friends, here in Tomoeda.

Kaito is pleased to see her happy.

Akiho says that she's going to prepare dinner (my heart got warm thinking that now it's her the one cooking for him and he doesn't protest or anything) and she's going to make the no-fry croquettes that Sakura taught her (remember??? They had dedicated a chapter to that, and they were so important because Akiho learned them precisely for Kaito).

But Kaito kind of "interrupts" her, saying the thing WE ALL were waiting for him to say:

Kaito, JP (lit.): "I'm sorry. For having thought (all that plan) on my own and decided things without your permission. Even though I know that you're someone perfectly capable of writing her own chosen future on her own blank book"

Oooooooh. The feeling of puzzle pieces going to their right place, the sense of accomplishment, the satisfaction in reading these words from him. HE FINALLY UNDERSTOOD. And it took almost k*lling himself and causing to the very person he was trying to make happy an indescribable grief, to come to this point.

What a lack of self-esteem and underlying depression can do.

But thankfully, they all managed to save things at last minute and now he's learned his lesson. So the first thing he does when he's able to, is apologizing to Akiho. But not only that.

Akiho says Kaito's name, probably wanting to answer something in return, but he interrupts her again, saying something I've been dying to hear him say (lately I expressed here and on Twitter my wish to see precisely this scene in the finale):

"That's my alias"

Akiho is shocked at hearing that, and he says, with a serious face, "Can I tell you my true name?"

At this point, I was hollering, I won't really hide it or anything.

If you're CLAMP fans, you probably know how IMPORTANT and VITAL is an information like one's true name, especially for a magician. Yuuko in Holic said that if you give someone your true name, they can take your soul.

And I'm 100% sure that even Akiho knows how important true names are in the magic world, this is something that Momo already mentioned in one of the Drama CDs but here she confirms it herself, saying hesitantly: "Are you sure I should be hearing something so important?"

With the next thing Kaito says, I was almost calling an ambulance.

Heh, I know, this is me, what can I do? Their story got me by the throat and coming to this point is such an achievement, for me. 😅

"I want you to know it"

That あなた between brackets is so powerful. "You, above all".

In that "you" there's all the things he's not saying aloud, how unique and important she is to him. How much he trusts her with the most vulnerable part of himself. How much he's willing to give his entire soul, his everything to her, but this time in the correct way, without damaging anyone.

Akiho must be noticing all of this, because Mokona doesn't allow us to see her face, only her closed hand rising up, but from her ".....okay" I'm sure here she was quite touched.

So Kaito finally proceeds to reveal this secret that everyone was wondering about ever since chapter 51:

"Cristaux. That's my true name".

Cristaux is written with the katakana クリスト (pronounced kurisuto) which has already been misunderstood by many for "Christ" 😂, but thankfully CLAMP have put in the furigana the correct spelling in romaji.

Cristaux is a french word used to indicate crystals. Yes, plural.

So our crazy magician was named after crystals at his birth.

Of course, of course. Isn't crystals the overwhelming theme of this arc, after all? CLAMP made sure to feature some in many many color illustration they've done.

Also, while talking to a friend, I realized that now we might understand a bit better why Kaito made a very pensive face, disguised as Syaoran, when Sakura pointed out in Clockland (ch. 66) that the castle of the Queen had foundations made of crystal........

As usual with CLAMP, we've had the solution to the mystery under our nose the whole time! 😂This feels like Tsubasa 2.0, for real! 😂

It is surely an inusual name, but I mean, it seems many of the names CLAMP choose for their characters aren't that common, after all.

With this reveal, Kaito decided to start anew with Akiho, this time around from a basis of honesty and trust. He's never going to put up masks with her ever again (and even though it's confirmed they still talk in keigo to one another -which is something I've always imagined-, we've seen him using his true pronoun "ore" with her in chapter 78). This is the perfect foundation for a relationship based on communication and trust. Bravo Kaito, you did your homeworks.

Akiho places a hand over her chest, as if the precious name entered her heart, and says something that made me completely melt:

"I've written it on the most important page of my book. So I can never forget it".

This line makes me particularly emotional not only because it sounds SO SWEET, on the verge of flirting, but also because it seems to me like a callback to something that was said in a sadder situation.

Back in chapter 35, when Sakura ended up trapped into Akiho's artifact, she experienced Akiho's past on her skin. The day of the magic ceremony that turned Akiho into an artifact, some people from the clan/Association said "let's engrave all the magical books we can find into this girl's body, so she can never forget them. Just like a blank book".

Back then, these horrible words were used to abuse a poor child, but that child today turned them into the power to choose for herself.

She appropriates the same "book" analogy to turn it into a way for her to choose on her own. Kaito's name is a precious information that she chooses to write on her heart so she can never forget it.

It is a way for her to cope and have a catharsis for her trauma.

I honestly keep getting such wonderful messages from the story of these two characters, and I'll never thank CLAMP enough for creating them.

Kaito smiles softly at Akiho's words.

Then we go back to Sakura, Syaoran and Tomoyo, the "fab 3" who are going back home together, and we get some more information: it seems Eriol called Syaoran too (man, this guy called half the world to give explanations left and right 😂) and told him that he's going to buy Akiho and Kaito's house and look after it for them.

Sakura is really glad to hear that because it means that Akiho's huge collection of books will be safe and guarded in its library.

Tomoyo asks what they're going to do about Akiho's room at the Kinomoto house: in fact, if you look at the first panel of this chapter, you'll see that the additional portion that sprouted on Kinomoto house is still there: this means that Sakura gave everyone back their memories, but that magic didn't affect the discrepancies that arised from the rewriting of their world, hence why Akiho's room is still there.

Sakura talked about it with her dad and they decided they're gonna leave it untouched, as it is, so Akiho can always go back to it at any time. Did I cry at this? Yes, a little, because this is a sign that the Kinomotos will still keep considering her one of the family even if she'll be away, even if she'll have her life with Kaito, and I couldn't ask for anything better, for my sweet Akiho. It is so important for her to keep the bonds she created over time and know that now she's also got a network of people there for her. A second family where to turn to.

Sakura's having a real hard time accepting that Akiho will go away, and her smile becomes sad, before hugging Tomoyo and crying out "But I'll still miss her so much!!" 🥹poor Sakura 🥹I know, it's always so sad when someone that important to you leaves...

You'll Be Together Forever!!

One month passes by, and we can see some sakura flowers starting to bloom, this means we're at the end of March (and so we were in February before, just like I imagined). School year must be over pretty soon.

It's the big day, the day of departure for Akiho and Kaito, and Sakura+Syaoran went to see them off. Have you spotted it, on Sakura's scarf? Yes, that's the pin shaped like a teddy bear, the same Kaho gave her as a present and that she was wearing in the OG manga during the run at the bus stop to tell her feelings to Syaoran!

Akiho thanks Sakura for coming so early in the morning, and Sakura says she absolutely wanted to be there to see them off, actually she apologizes for making them delay their departure due to this meeting. Akiho is dressed with a cute outfit that is very remiscent of the one she's wearing in the color page of chapter 79.

A little separated from them to give their privacy, we see Kaito and his big suitcase, standing next to Syaoran. OMG it's so inusual to see them like that!!

Then, Kaito says "Time magic....I can teach it to you, if you ever want to use it". Syaoran is very surprised to hear that, and Kaito says that when he was still in the dragon form, he heard him apologizing to Sakura for not being able to use that magic because he hadn't learned it yet, remember?? 🥹

And Kaito just offered himself as a teacher, surely as a way to thank him for everything he's done to save him and Akiho.

But not only that: in a very sweet panel, he says he knows Syaoran won't use it in an inappropriate way, and I can totally hear that implied "as opposed to me". Oh yes I hear it loud and clear by the way this is phrased in Japanese. 😁

Then, he happily takes out his phone and asks him to exchange contact numbers, because they can be convenient for any occurrence! I feel like that was a good idea because they're surrounded by magic matters so much, it's always good to be able to count on the experience and knowledge of other magicians.

We see Syaoran being a bit perplexed at the request, but then reluctanctly (?) takes out his phone 😂oh lord his reaction is so funny....and this is also another proof that the characters remember what happened before, because Syaoran could have this reaction only for that reason 😂😂😂

While looking at them interacting so funnily, Akiho takes the chance to get closer to Sakura and whisper a very important information to her (it came!!! it came for her too!! I KNEW IT!! It's not WHAT I imagined but I've been saying forever that this would come 😂):

Akiho, JP & ENG: "My real name...is Cosmos"

What you guys can't see if you're reading the ENG version or any other language, is the duality of Akiho's true name here.

It's actually written in Japanese kanji, but the furigana that tells how to pronounce it are katakana for "Cosmos".

So it's like this:

Japanese name: 秋桜 (pronounced Akizakura, it's how Cosmos are called in Japanese)

Furigana (reading): コスモス (Cosmos)

It's not uncommon to find the Cosmos flowers being called directly with their katakana spelling, in Japanese.

All of this makes total sense for Akiho because her favorite flower is a specific type of Cosmos, the Chocolate Cosmos! They say they really smell like chocolate! So, just like Sakura, she's got the same name of her favorite flower.

But this duality of her name also allows Akiho to say what she's about to say:

Akiho, JP: "When we met for the first time, I was happy to learn I had one same character in my name as yours!"

I'm glad to see that more or less all the foreign translations did their best to explain the trick of the kanji, adding an explanation in the bubbles (they were big enough, thankfully). The ENG for example talked about "sharing a name" but Akiho here is meaning more "sharing a character" of the japanese name.

Sakura is of course really honored and happy to hear that, and thanks her for sharing such an important detail about herself.

And now, hahaha.....comes the part where I laughed SO, so much, because while to some it might sound strange for Akiho to do something like this, to me it isn't strange at all! Cause she's like that, her personality is far stronger than most think...

Our little mischievous Akiho here reveals to Sakura, still whispering, that she isn't going to share her real name with Kaito yet, because she's still a bit upset with him!! 😂😂😂

Oh lord, Akiho....oh dear....you have all the right to still be a bit upset, make him work hard to get such an important information from you!! 😂 I can't believe right now we have Kaito basically in Akiho's hands while Akiho, the one who seemed the most in love out of the two, is actually still withholding that from him! 😂😂😂 aaaaahhh trust CLAMP to always give you something interesting....this is totally in line with how I perceived her personality. 🤭I loved it!

Kaito needs to be really, really careful from now on! She's not gonna take any crap from him! 😂

And now I have to warn you because precisely as we reach the very last line Sakura will say in this arc, there is going to be another translation mistake, which I consider far worse than the other one I pointed out. I think getting it wrong precisely at the most important emotional point ruined a job that wasn't overall so bad, with this chapter (compared to others....).

Sakura, smiling, supports Akiho's idea, saying "Sounds good!", and then, utters the very last line of the arc:

ENG: "After all, we have a long future together ahead of us!"

JP: "After all, you'll be together forever from now on!"

I think you can easily guess why this translation mistake irritated me so much. I've checked the other translations and the Spanish one, the one I trust the most, agrees with me, just like the French one.

This translation is a failure for two reasons:

it failed to convey the fact that Sakura here is using almost exactly the same words she used in the OG manga at the end of volume 12, when she ran into Syaoran's arms, saying that they would be together forever from that moment on. I think iconic lines like these should be translated in the way the readers know them from the previous work, otherwise it's useless. You don't get the reference. In Japanese, back in volume 12 of the OG manga, it was "kore kara wa zutto issho da yo!" while here it is "kore kara wa zutto issho nandakara". And there is a reason for that.

this translation inexplicably made it about all of them, when Sakura was talking specifically about Akiho and Kaito instead. That "nandakara" at the end suggests that this sentence is strictly related to the one that came right before, "sounds good", as an answer to Akiho's plan to withhold her true name from Kaito for a while. Sakura here is simply saying that Akiho's idea sounds ok to her because those two will be together forever from now on, so she'll have all the time of this world to tell him eventually her true name, when she feels ready. Also, in Sakura's words, there's a deeper meaning: it's the last wish of happiness for those two, which comes from her own lived experience. At the end of volume 12 we saw Sakura uttering those same words, in her happiest moment of reunion with Syaoran...Sakura knows that happiness, the happiness of reuniting and be able to stay all the time with the person you love the most. This is the same thing she's wishing for those two right now, with these words. To be together forever and savor that same happiness she's living herself everyday. But if the translation makes it about all four of them, or even just about Sakura and Akiho, this underlying message, this last parallel between the two pairs is completely gone. Also, what's the sense in saying "we have a long future together ahead" if Kaito and Akiho are leaving?? It doesn't make sense to me. They once again managed to remove any hint of Kaito and Akiho being destined to be together for life, and bent the phrase to include everyone, just because they could. I find that quite disrespectful in my opinion.

Anyway, if you made it this far in reading the post, you now know how that line should actually be. I feel so embittered and disappointed that this happened precisely at the end...

But this time, as opposed to the OG manga, there's one more page to bring this arc to a closure: we can see the back of the new empowered Sakura Card (on the Card there's a mix of both the Star circle and the Dream circle), and the text reads:

JP, lit.: "When all the Cards are gathered, that's the beginning that comes from an end. A beginning to move on"

You have surely recognized it , this is exactly the same page that appeared at the very beginning of this arc, it's just that back then we had a Sakura Card's back, a more unsettling background, and lots of blank cards floating. Right now we have the back of the empowered Sakura Cards, a more serene background and instead of the blank cards, we have cherry blossom petals! ❤️

But most importantly, the sentence slightly changed too, communicating to all the readers that from the end of all the tribulations that our characters went through in this Clear Card Arc, they finally managed to move onto a happier life.

I think it's very beautiful how CLAMP decided to conclude this story, with a message of hope that not all endings are necessarily something bad, but they can simply hide behind them the beginning of something new and more positive.

Lord knows how much I needed to be reminded of this, in this moment of my life.

And surely this is also true for the end of this beloved series for many people around the world: after 7 years and half it's so hard to say goodbye to such a beloved story, but CLAMP want to give us one last present before saying goodbye to it for an indefinite period!

On the right side of the Japanese last page (this was not translated in the ENG one) we find the announcement that the April issue of Nakayoshi on sale on March 1st 2024 will bring us a special chapter of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card! Precisely one month before the release of volume 16! There's no info about how long it's gonna be, but anything is strongly welcome to say goodbye in a more gradual way...I wonder what it'll be about? This can be literally anything!! I would love for them to feature a situation in the future, rather than in the past....

Beware, because I've heard that Anime News Network translated this as a "special arc" in their news and that caused a ruckus...I've already tried to warn people on Twitter that's not correct, "tokubetsuhen" is the same term they used for the special short chapters they have published till now.

And so...it ends. We've reached the end!! Omg! I still can't register it fully....🙈

I will write some short additional comments about the chapter here but you'll have to wait for another, separate post to have my impressions and commentary on the entire Clear Card Arc.

I just want to say that this finale didn't feature everything I hoped/wanted to see, but other things were definitely granted.

It's just impossible to make everyone happy so I completely understand that.

And even though I'm truly disappointed about Momo and the choice to make her leave her two kids like that, I feel overall this disappointment doesn't stain my appreciation for this finale.

The things I wanted to see and got, the general happy and relaxed atmosphere, seeing all four of them so friendly with eachother, Sakura's final blessing with those words are enough to make me feel still quite satisfied with the finale.

Also, this feels so much more open than the OG manga. A lot more open. There are tons of elements one could grasp to in case they wanted to make a spin-off, or feature some of these plot threads as a cameo in another work. Akiho and Kaito's situation in particular, with their travels around the world, seems to be screaming "you'll see us again soon". I don't know if I'm just delusional but I've seen so many people saying the same.

And I have to say that despite my first choice was for Akiho and Kaito to stay in Tomoeda, they gave me enough good reasons to justify them departing again. I did, in fact, predict that an eventual resume of their travels could be plot related (if they had to continue escaping the Squids' radar or if they had to find a way to fix Kaito's situation).

Plus, Akiho seems so happy and free. How can I rebel against that, when they depict her so happy of her choice?

Also, nice of Eriol to step up and help those two. He's the other poweful and experienced magician who can put at their service all of his knowledge.

And then, Kaito's character development. Even here, I felt like I would've wanted him to say more, but then I remembered that Ohkawa in a Space long time ago had already said "I would want the readers, once it's over, to re-read this trying to understand 'why this character acted in this way?' " and it was clear that she was referring to Kaito. So, not exposing in detail Kaito's heart and the motivations that brought him to this point is totally intentional. She wants us to get there on our own. After all, she gave us another huge hint in this chapter, by making him reveal his true name to Akiho. I can only be grateful for that, especially for how he worded it.

Cristaux and Cosmos...while I'm really happy they have the same initials, I'm still trying to get used to those new names! 😂even though I know they'll keep using their aliases so it's not a big problem, we'll keep calling them Kaito and Akiho!

(And yes, I'm a bit disappointed that Akiho's true name isn't Alice! 😂)

It was nice to see SyaoSaku blushing and flirting in this finale, especially now that Touya gave his blessing to Syaoran, he can go pick her up for school when he wants!! 😂 I'm sure we'll get more SyaoSaku fluff in the special chapter, as this finale was mostly used to wrap up other stuff.

As I said, I adored the few panels of interaction between the two Moon Boys, Akiho's mischievous prank to Kaito....yes, I still have lots to be grateful for, in this finale.

I think this post just won the record for the longest one, so let me just take this space really quick before wrapping up to thank all of you who have read my posts, shared them, supported me, chatted with me about the story, and overall contributed with interesting discussions in this little personal corner. I would've never imagined, not even in my wildest dreams, that the existence and content of this blog one day would've reached even CLAMP, and this will stay as one of my biggest gratifications, especially cause they seemed to appreciate the effort. I just wish their story was treated better by some official translations.

I tried to do whatever I could to spread warnings about heavy translation mistakes, in addition to my interpretation of the story as I was reading it and analyzing it, since I've seen it helped many people understanding the story better and coming to terms with frustrations they had about it.

Clear Card Arc is undoubtedly more complex and requires a lot more of attention than the OG manga.

But I'm positive that re-reading everything in one go might help A LOT in that regard, maybe keeping my translation posts beside you....so I urge everyone to re-read the story when you have time, because it's worth it. Really.

That said, I'm not going anywhere for the foreseeable future: of course I'll comment the special chapter, but I also have in store the "Clear Card Trivia" series of posts, a post with the timeline of the events and a master post about my own review of the entire Clear Card Arc. And then, there's the season 2 of the anime too! You can bet I'll be here to comment on it every week!!

In the meantime, I want to thank all of you again for your patience, for reading me till now, and I also want to thank once again CLAMP-sensei for the wonderful sequel they brought to us in these past 7 years. ありがとうございます 🙏

See you soon!!

[colourfulshadows]

Thinking about The Drop™ again. Long and weird post, sorry, with a thought experiment more than a real theory I guess. Wrote this at 3 am when I couldn't sleep xD

I'm not going to argue that Lestat's abuse toward Louis (and Claudia, but focusing on Louis in this) is OOC in general. In fact, I think it fits his character, his impulsiveness and works with the themes of "being a monster" and his abandonment issues triggering that behaviour (I'm not excusing his behaviour, just trying to explain it).

But

The Drop?

(CW for SA)

I know I know that Lestat even acknowledged it himself during the trial (well, the lestat from louis's retelling) and I'm not saying that Louis is lying that Lestat did abuse him to that extent. But the drop feels OOC for me. Sometimes I wonder if it's all a metaphor for another similar horrid thing Lestat might have done instead. Because there's this thing with him not possessing the cloud gift at that point in the books.

I have that thought that maybe... What if Lestat SA'd Louis? And Louis didn't feel safe to tell Daniel that after hearing how Daniel spoke about Claudia in that context? Who knows the books, knows that Lestat canonically SA'd someone. It would recontextualise a lot. The flying in S1E1 during lovemaking? A metaphor for part of the sex, maybe even subspace. Louis letting his rage/revenge at Lestat out through violent hate sex with *stabbing* of all things? Louis looks almost dissociated during sex in the "distracting Lestat so Claudia can plot" phase but not during kisses etc. Then there's the way Louis doms Armand later.

What if actual flying = something very intimate in the show (yes well I don't think it's far fetched to think Santiago would be an exhibitionist then). Armand having to fly up to fetch books for Louis. Armand's aerobic evening in the back of the theatre. Armand flying up the stairs before revealing his past to Louis. Armand descending from the bookcases in "no pain" after rashid left, but showing Daniel is all right (could be wrong with the order of events in that scene though).

Armand makes Daniel fly and crash on the ground in 1973 and afterwards Daniel has this extra haunted expression.

I'm probably overthinking everything. I don't think that's actually canon. I just like to analyse and theorise. It's crazy and far fetched and has plot holes but that tiny corner of my brain is saying "but what if it's not?"

If we were still on the internet of 2010 I'd say "thank you for reading all this, here's a cookie *gives cookie*"

[seirindono]

Just found out about Missing Scarf yesterday and I have to say I am already in love with this comic. I also feel like Mel has very easily become my favourite character in all Undertale's multiverse, which actually feels refreshing because I have been a huge fan of Gaster's variations for a few years now lol (consedering she seems to be related to him in someway, that might explain how I ended up liking her so much, haha). I was wondering, what was your inspiration to create Mel? Could you tell us more about her? Obviously we will learn more about her in future updates, but what about her personality, for example? I'm really loving your work, it's amazing! Keep it up, but make sure you don't overdo yourself. (english is my second language, so excuse me if something may have sounded off)

Welcome! And thank you so much for the kind words, it's never less than an honor to see readers get attached to Mel and her story, especially when she's surrounded by some of the fandom's all-time favorites (uf, us, og cast, …)

And the Gaster part...Well, yeah, I totally understand ( ´ ▿ ` )

Regarding her personality, hm there's a lot to say, and much I'd like to compile in a single post (hence this poll, but Mel can't go first for reasons).

What I can say, however, is that one thing that's important to consider when discussing Mel is her moral compass. Notion of Good and Evil, what's wrong what's right, responsibility and zeal, loyalty and instinct. Guilt.

The Mel who is excited to receive reader's gifts, banters with Blue and gives advice bc she feels bad for Axe is the same one who threatened to ruthlessly dust Rus and talks about “stalking” soul-broken fellow Monsters for duty sake all the while hiding things from everyone.

Most of Mel's actions, words and reactions can be understood or anticipated if your start considering this and where she gets her values from. You might gain a whole new perspective of her character as well while doing so.

(As for concrete inspirations, you could say she's loosely inspired by various fictional works with ambiguous/grey characters, knights, and a smidgen of irl observation.. Anyhow, Mel was initially writen to give the impression of a undertale secret mini-boss. Optional too)

[megzscribbleznwordz]

can you do a love language post for the plutonians from athf? i saw the others and really liked em :)

Sorry this took me a bit, I've had a very busy October </3 We need more Emory and Oglethorpe enjoyers, they're both so silly and sweet in their own ways. I hope it's worth the wait!

Oglethorpe

Quality Time: This dude is the clingiest neediest guy ever. Needs to be around you 24/7 or else he gets really whiny. Loves relaxing with you especially, just cuddling or chatting about whatever. He definitely tries to get you and Emory to be friends, even if it’s an excuse to spend time with both of you at the same time

Words of affirmation: Very awkward and oddly sweet with his compliments. He isn’t the best with words, so his compliments tend to draw based on skills and actions, rather than physical appearance. He’s the type to notice and compliment when you’ve made notable progress in a hobby, or express appreciation for your affections. Compliments like “Ah, that looks very nice! You’re doing a good job!”, “You give the best hugs”, “You’re a good kisser” All said with that cute tone filled with a sort of wonder.

Physical Touch: Very touchy…I headcanon that he’s very surprisingly strong and he just loves carrying you around. Definitely the clingy type though, like if you’re sitting together you’re only getting up upon his demand. Also loves it when you’re sitting on his lap… pretty much loves anything that lets others know that you’re his and he’s yours.

Acts of Service: You’re the only one he does acts of service for like…ever. Doesn’t even complain if it’s you asking. I mean, he does basic chores with strong complaints to whoever asks but for you he’d move mountains with that cute dopey love-struck smile spread across his face. You’re the only one he ever buys gifts for, the only one he offers to do chores for or offers to help, even small things like holding doors and carrying bags for you.

Giving/Receiving Gifts: He loves to receive gifts, doesn’t give them too often. Definitely goes all-out when he does, he’s not the best shopper but I headcanon that he’s pretty crafty and makes very surprisingly well-crafted and useful gifts. Handmade pottery especially, I swear half your home is random ceramic goods he’d made you. Makes a big spectacle of it too, he has to have a reason to give you a gift, even an insignificant one like your three-and-a-quarter-month anniversary

Emory

Quality Time: Emory loves planning dates and things for you to do together. He gets really creative with it too, one week it’ll be a movie date, the next you’re going skydiving together, the one after that you’re taking a cooking class… he’s a never ending fountain of things to do. At the end of the day, he’s happy to have somebody so ready to go out into the world and do with. 

Words of affirmation: He’s a big ol’ sweetie! Showers you with sweet words about pretty much anything imaginable. You’re commonly graced with “You’re-You’re really cute, you know that?”, “Awwe, you’re so sweet!” or observational compliments, especially when you change your appearance. He’s the first to notice. Be it cutting your hair, getting a new tattoo or piercing, trying out a new style, he’s the first to tell you how much he likes your new look!

Physical Touch: Not the biggest fan of PDA, he shows his affection in other ways. Of all things, he loves holding your hand. I feel like his distaste for PDA is a result of his introverted nature, and holding your hand brings him so much reassurance when you’re out and about together.

Acts of Service: Emory is big on casual acts of service. Smaller acts are pretty much daily; offering to get you something to drink every time he gets himself something, offering to make you food if he’s cooking or buy you something if he’s ordering, offering a hand if he catches you in the middle of a task. He provides a lot of support in every way shape or form.

Giving/Receiving Gifts: Emory isn’t too much of the giving type. He goes all out for the occasions he does (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Gifting Holidays) but he’s more of the plan and finance a fun date type. He’s very good at remembering the things you like, your hobbies, your tastes in pretty much anything there is…Emory has the best memory when it comes to you, literally remembers everything. 

[wander-wren]

every once in a while i like to poke my head into "anti [x]" tags just to see what the other side thinks. recently i was looking through "anti ao3" and found a really funny post claiming that ao3 is not anticapitalist, but actually the Definition Of Capitalism, bc it relies on volunteer labor while supposedly having the money to pay a staff.

oh, honey.

but i am not going to make unsubstantiated claims on the internet, no, and this gives me an excuse to look at ao3's whole budget myself, which i've been meaning to do for a while. these numbers are taken from the 2022 budget post and budget spreadsheet.

ao3's total income for 2022, from the two donation drives, regular donations, donation matching programs, interest, and royalties was $1,012,543.42. less than $300 of that was from interest and royalties, so it's almost all donations. and that's a lot, right? surely an organization making a million dollars a year can afford to pay some staff, right?

well, let's look at expenses. first of all, they lose almost $37,000 to transaction fees right away. ao3 and fanlore (~$341k and ~$18k, respectively) take up the biggest chunks of the budget by far. that money pays for, to quote the 2022 budget post, "server expenses—both new purchases and ongoing colocation and maintenance—website performance monitoring tools, and various systems-related licenses."

in some years, otw also pays external contractors to perform audits for security issues, and for more servers to handle the growing userbase. servers are expensive as hell, guys. in 2022, new server costs alone were $203k.

each of their other programs only cost around $3,000 or less, and otw paid around $78k for fundraising and development. wait, how do you lose so much money on your fundraising?? from the 2022 budget post: "Our fundraising and development expenses consist of transaction fees charged by our third-party payment processors for each donation, thank-you gift purchases and shipping, and the tools used to host the OTW’s membership database and track communications with donors and potential donors."

then the otw paid an additional $74k in administration expenses, which covers "hosting for our website, trademarks, domains, insurance, tax filing, and annual financial statement audits, as well as communication, management, and accounting tools."

in case you weren't following all of that math, the total expenses for 2022 come out to $518,978.48. woah! that's a lot! but it's still only a little over half of their net revenue. weird. i wonder what they do with that extra $494k?

well, $400k of it goes to the reserves, which i'll get to in a second. the last $93k, near as i can tell, gets rolled over to the next year. i'll admit this part i'm a little unsure about, as it's not clear on the spreadsheet, but that's the only thing that makes sense.

the reserves, though are clear. the most recent post i could find on the otw site about it were in the board meeting minutes from april 2, 2022: "We’re holding about $1million in operating cash that is about twice the amount of our annual operating costs. There is another $1million in reserves due to highly successful fundraisers in the past. The current plan for the reserves is to hold the money for paid staff in the future. It’s been talked about before in the past and we’re still working out the details, but it’s a rather expensive undertaking that will result in large annual expenses in addition to the initial cost of implementation."

woah....they're PLANNING to have paid staff eventually! wild!

so let's assume, for easy numbers, that the otw currently has $1.5 million in reserves. before we even get to how to use that money, let's look at the issues with implementing paid staff:

deciding which positions are going to be paid, because it can't be all of them

deciding how much to pay them, bc minimum wage sure as hell isn't enough, and cost of living is different everywhere, and volunteers come from all over the world

hiring staff and implementing new systems/tools to handle things like payroll and accounting

making sure you continue to earn enough money both to pay all of the staff and have some in reserves for emergencies or leaner donation drives

probably even more stuff than that! i don't run a nonprofit, that's just what i can think of off the top of my head.

okay, okay, okay. for the sake of argument, let's assume there is a best-case scenario where the otw starts paying some staff tomorrow. how much should they be paid? i'm picking $15 an hour, since that's what we fought for the minimum wage to be. by now, it should be closer to $20 or $25, but i'm trying to give "ao3 is capitalism" the fairest shot it can get here, okay?

ideally, if someone is being paid to help run ao3, they shouldn't need a second job. every job should pay enough to live off of. and running a nonprofit is hard work that leads to a lot of burnout--two board members JUST resigned before their terms were up. what i'm saying is, i'm going to assume a paid otw staff is getting paid for 40 hours of work a week, minimum. that's $31,200.

at $400,000 per year, the otw can afford to pay 12 people. that's WITHOUT taking into account the new systems, tools, software, etc they would have to pay for, any kind of fees, etc, etc.

oh, and btw, if you're an american you're still making barely enough to survive in most places, AND you don't have universal healthcare, vision, or dental. want otw to give people insurance, too? the number of people they can pay goes down.

it's. not. possible.

a million dollars is a lot of money on the face of it, but once you realize how MUCH goes into running something like the otw, it goes away fast.

just for reference, wikipedia also has donation drives every year. wikipedia, as of 2021, has $86.8 million in cash reserves and $137.4 million in investments. sure, wikipedia and ao3 are very different entities, but that disparity is massive. and i should note that if you give $10 to wikipedia they don't give you voting rights, i'm just saying.

by the way, you may have noticed that i didn't mention legal costs at all here. isn't one of otw's big Things about how they do legal advocacy?

yes, it is. they have a whole page about that work. and i can't for the life of me find a source on otw's website (and i'm running out of time to write this post, i'll look harder later), but i am 90% sure i learned before that most, if not all, of otw's legal work/advice/etc is done pro bono. i've also seen an anti-ao3 person claim their legal budget is only $5k or so, but they didn't have a source. but keep in mind that if they don't have a legal budget, all the numbers above stay the same, and if they do, there is even less money available for paid staff.

you can criticize ao3 and the otw all you want! there are many valid reasons to criticize them, and i do not think they're perfect either. but if you're going to do so, you should at least make sure you can back up your claims, bc otherwise you just look silly.

[scaramouche-bully]

PLEASE PLEASE WRITE MORE OF IT PLEASE BRO

Hello anon,

I believe this was in response to this reblog. If there are any other posts I've made that anyone would like a part 2 of, please don't be afraid to ask! Hopefully, it won't take a few years to respond. I'm going through my inbox quickly, so please excuse the short/sloppy writing.

---

Pushing Kaeya further, his tear-stained face nuzzled into Jean's hold, completely ignored...

"How are you faring? I'm sorry I've been putting so much work on your desk recently," Jean sighed softly, eyes downcast as she softly petted Kaeya's hair. His normally charming smile has been twisted into a mouth that doesn't know where his tongue goes, tears sliding down his cheeks. She wonders if Kaeya knows he's smiling.

"Hah…don't worry about me too much. Just a bit pent up is all," you groan out, fingers digging into Kaeya's sides, leaving marks in your wake. All the while, Kaeya cries out in pleasure, another pool of tears to join the puddles on the desk, as he desperately has to choose whether to draw in air or moan out his pleasures. He can barely keep up with your and Jean's conversation, most likely about work, as you hold him down and roughly fuck him again and again. He can't remember how long the two of you have been at it until Jean's sudden "interruption". But from how wet and sticky he feels, too long. He makes another attempt at sympathy, hugging Jean's waist closer to him in comfort. Praying that his generous and kind-hearted Acting Grand Master will save him from this sex-crazed maniac. Instead, he gets a simple brush of her fingers against his cheek as she leans over to give you a kiss. A small gift of mercy since you stop your movements to return her kiss.

"We should invite everyone to go for drinks soon. I'm sure Kaeya would jump at the opportunity," Jean giggles sweetly against your mouth, one final peck before she leans back. Standing with her arms folded behind her back, she offers you a nod and walks back to the door she came through. Ignoring the sobs of Kaeya calling her name and the resumed noises of wood scraping against the floor. She opens the door leisurely, offering one final send-off. "As you were."

- 🐑

Masterlist

[lxclerc]

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞 | 𝐜𝐥𝟏𝟔

summary: “because if this is it then at least we can end this right.”

requested: [YES] [NO] warning: pure unfiltered angst, break up, soft/mild smut, oral sex (female receiving), implied p in v. pairing: charles leclerc x reader word count: 1760

note: my first post for 2023! hopefully this continues on. also don't ask me why i decided to write an angsty smut because i also don't know. happy new year, everyone!

masterlist

You know disappointment well. You’d go as far and say you know it a little better than love. Overtime, you learn to expect it – every trip, every plan, every dinner, you’re always ready for the chances of it not happening, always expecting disappointment in order to limit the damage. 

You always thought you had no right to complain, no right to feel upset. You signed up for this after all, didn’t you? You knew that loving Charles meant sharing him – sharing him with the rest of the world, sharing him with the sport he loves. You knew from the very moment you realized that you loved him that he isn’t yours, that he will never be fully yours. 

You always wondered just exactly how long you could take it. How long can you take waiting for him in an empty restaurant despite knowing he’d never come? How many excuses can you make to your family for his absence? How many nights can you spend waiting for a call or a text that never arrives? When does it all become too much? When do you finally stop adjusting your plans, adjusting your expectations, adjusting your life, in order to fit his? 

You supposed you’d finally reached it. When after another sleepless night waiting, you realize that unconditional love simply isn’t enough.

He stands before you now though, so close that you can smell the cologne clinging to his skin, so close you can reach out and touch his cheeks, feel the heat of him one more time. You want to close the distance between you, to feel the beat of his heart against your own. You wanted everything to be okay and you so badly wanted okay to be enough.

“I wanted it to be you,” you said, voice hoarse and quiet, laced with so much emotion you’re surprised the words managed to slip past your lips. “Goddamn, I really wanted it to be you.”

And when the tears fell to his cheeks, you almost took it all back, almost laid yourself bare and raw in front of him once again, willing to wait, willing to sacrifice, willing to be whatever he needed you to be. Loving Charles is all consuming, every neuron in your body becomes stars at the brink of a supernova, his touch being the catalyst to push it all together. 

But to break and be reborn each time is an utterly exhausting process no matter how beautiful and perhaps you’d reach a point of needing to close your wounds, to an end to a chapter. Being beautiful is no longer enough. To be loved but not cherished is no longer enough. 

“It can still be me.”

There’s a plea in his voice that you’ve never heard before as his tears fell and this time, you did as your heart begged you to, you closed the distance between you as you wrapped your arms around the man you loved. 

And when you pressed your lips against his perhaps for the last time, the salty mix of your tears is a reflection of your broken hearts. 

“I love you,” you whisper against his lips, your foreheads against each other. “But it’s not enough anymore.” 

Charles’ arms seem to only tighten around you, terrified to let go in case it might be the last. His lips are greedy, seemingly trying to memorize the feel of your skin. “Not yet. Not yet please.” 

“Okay,” you agreed. Who are you to deprive him of this? “Tomorrow.” 

Your heart was already breaking, why not twist the knife?

Another tear fell to his cheek as he nodded. “Okay. Tomorrow.”

And with that, you welcomed the searing heat of his lips against your skin, giving him more access to your neck as the two of you stumbled to the bedroom you once shared. One more taste, you promised yourself. A parting gift, a goodbye. 

Your hands were already working to rid him of his shirt before the two of you could reach the bed. You let him gently push you down, his eyes glassy against the dark room with only the streetlights from the window providing little light. But it didn’t matter. You know him like the back of your hand. You know where every freckle is. You know the exact curb of his lips and the heat from his hands. 

Charles Leclerc will forever be inked in your soul, a part of you you have no desire to ever rid of. 

“I love you,” he whispers, voice shaky as his hands reach to cup your face. His eyes met your, trying to convey what words cannot. “I love you so much.”

And you’re crying again as you pull him closer. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Charles takes his time. He takes his time as he gently peels off your clothes. He takes his time as he marks your skin and unclasps your bra. He takes his time as his hand holds your breast and as his lips plants kisses along your chest. It was not pleasure either of you are after. It was not for pleasure as he explores your body.it was not for pleasure as his hands touched your most sensitive area. 

He’s memorizing you, trying to memorize the exact curb of your body, the heat of your skin, the feeling of you below him. He’s a tape record, determined to record the moans and gasps escaping your lips as he touches you, determined to tattoo it all to his memory. 

“Charles,” you gasped as his finger entered you, thumb against your clit. His touch lingers, slow and gentle but it leaves your body abuzz. “God.”

He adds another finger and your back rises as he forms a rhythm. He moans as your nails burrow into his skin, hard muscles flexing against the pain but his movement doesn’t falter. 

He’s patient, not as domineering as you’ve known him to be. His touch is soft as he swallows your moans. It’s not pleasure he’s after tonight but rather the intimacy of becoming one for the last time. 

“So close,” you manage in between pants, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as Charles’ fingers slightly pick up pace, hitting the exact spot you needed him to. 

“Go on, baby,” he coos, lips marking up your neck. “Come for me.” 

You didn’t need to be told twice as your body arches, toes curling. A chorus of pleases and Charles escapes your lips . Charles doesn’t think there could be a much better sound in the world as he speeds up. You’re shaking as you ride out your high, vision cloudy and sweat clinging your bodies together. 

With a weak, shaking hand, you wipe off his tears. “I love you.”

“You’re beautiful,” he tells you. “Je vais passer ma vie entière à me remettre de toi.” I will spend my entire life getting over you.

A sob tumbled out of your lips as you pulled him closer and as you held each other, bodies shaking, you realize that perhaps you’ll end up spending your entire life trying to get over him too. 

Neither of you are willing to let the other go, salty kisses and desperate declarations of love being whispered against each other’s skins as he enters you. Moans and gasps mixed with sobs as he becomes a part of you for the last time.

And as the morning comes and the sun trickles from the open window, you wake with his arms still around you, tear stains on the pillow case. You’re facing him, his face inches from yours. Your breath stills as you memorize his face from this close. You take your time counting each freckle and memorizing the curl of his lashes. You inhale his scent and basks in his warmth. 

But you know it can’t last forever. You know that if you don’t leave now, you might not be able to leave at all. You know that when you see those green eyes and hear his pleas for you to stay, you will.

And so you leave. You remove his arms from around you and gather your things. 

I will miss you forever, your note said – a final goodbye. 

—

Your laughter echoes with the loud booming of the fireworks above you, arms thrown around a friend or another in celebration as the party goers around you seems to only grow more energized as the clock approaches midnight. 

You’re a little more than tipsy but not quite drunk yet, your mind beginning fuzzy but not quite lost yet. You’re in that euphoric state of in between, feeling yourself losing all of your reservations with each sip or shot you took. 

“Happy New Year!” Your best friend, arm wrapped around you, screamed by your ear. The two of you are swaying with the crowd of people. 

“Not quite yet,” you say, giggly. 

Just as the words leave your lips, the counting begins. 

Ten 

Nine 

Eighth 

You throw your head back, taking a sip from your drink as you embrace the vibrations of everyone screaming in sync. 

Seven 

Six 

Five 

In a moment of curiosity, your eyes flit across the sea of people. You hadn’t expected to find green eyes already trained on you, full of longing as his hand nurses a cold beer. And it was so cliche, so overdone, but everyone disappears, becoming background noise as your eyes meet, the two of you seemingly the only people on the planet, standing across the room but somehow feeling as though it’s ocean’s away.

A thousand words exchanged between the two of you, a thousand promises and a thousand pain and a thousand understanding.

Four 

Three 

Two

The last time you’d seen Charles was the morning you left. You did as you both promised, loving each other goodbye. Maybe you expected it to hurt. You expected the ache in your chest and the heaviness in your soul. That’s certainly all you felt the days that followed. You’d avoided everything to do with him, even avoiding the screen of your television every sunday. 

But it doesn’t hurt now. 

One

Maybe throughout the weeks and the months, you’re both still silently hoping that time had made a mistake and that the universe reserved a moment for the two of you to find each other again.

taglist: @ricsaigaslec @dragon-of-winterfell @coffeehurricanes @rdtbattinson @privcherry7 @miniminescapist @sebsdaniel @strelcka @writing-about-current-obsessions @amsofftrack @lostinketterdam @bisexual-desi @cialovessirlewis @multilovebot @lovelynikol16 @troybolton-14 @ohthemissery @dr3lover @myescapefromthislife @sunf1owerrq @the6ccnsp6cyy @t-nd-rfoot

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Every Little Thing She Does is Magic, Chapter 5

Pairing: Platonic Steven Grant x Reader (for now)

Rating: T

Word count: ~2000

Story Summary: Steven meets a beautiful woman in the Egyptian exhibit at the British Museum...

...Too bad she's his new boss.

Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent since Steven still works for the British Museum post-canon, No Jake Lockley, developing friendship

A/N: ICYMI, I've been going through some personal stuff, but Steven has been a welcome distraction so I was able to get this next chapter written fairly quickly!

If you want to be tagged in this or any of my other writing, let me know!

Steven opened his desk drawer for the fifth time since he had arrived at work that morning and checked to make sure the gift he had bought Dr. Y/LN hadn't accidentally gotten damaged.

He took a deep breath. He had sent her a text message before he had left for work asking if he could briefly meet with her that morning and was awaiting her response.

He hurriedly unlocked his phone as it alerted him of a new message. I'm in my office now. Come on up whenever you're ready.

Steven grabbed the gift bag and headed to the elevator, his heart thrumming nervously.

Calm down, Marc said. It's just a gift. It's not like you're proposing to her.

Steven shook his head. What if she doesn't like it?

She will. I'm sure of it.

Steven got off of the elevator and made his way to Dr. Y/L/N’s office, noting that Helen hadn't yet made it in.

He checked his watch. Well, it's no wonder Helen isn't here yet. It's not even 8 am.

He paused in the open doorway. Dr. Y/L/N was standing by the window and looking outside, the early morning light giving her an ethereal glow. She's so beautiful.

He gently knocked on the door so as to not startle her. “Er, excuse me, ma'am.”

Dr. Y/L/N turned towards him. “Hi, come on in. You can close the door behind you.”

Steven nodded as he stepped inside and closed the door.

Dr. Y/L/N walked over to her desk and sat down. “How can I help you, Steven?”

“I'm sorry to bother you this morning, but I, er, I just wanted to say that you're a wonderful director and that I really enjoy working with you.” Steven set the gift bag down on her desk. “And I also wanted to give you this.”

Dr. Y/L/N’s brow wrinkled, an adorably confused look on her face. “You got me a gift?”

Steven nodded, fidgeting nervously as Dr. Y/L/N reached for the gift bag. “It's not much, but I just thought, well…” 

He paused as Dr. Y/L/N pulled the ‘World Pyramid Tea Collection' he had gotten for her out of the bag. “You had said that you wanted to try different varieties of tea, so when I saw this I thought you might like it.”

What he didn't say was that he had been planning on buying a varietal tea set to give to her since the day he had walked her home two weeks prior and that while doing a rather extensive search online for the perfect one had stumbled upon that particular set.

A smile spread across Dr. Y/L/N’s face. “This is so sweet of you. Thank you.”

Steven nodded slightly. “You're very welcome, ma'am.”

Dr. Y/L/N opened the box, her smile becoming even brighter. “Ohmygod, they're actually shaped like little pyramids. That is so cool!”

She looked up at Steven. “Is it okay if I give you a hug?”

Oh dear gods, yes. Steven nodded. “Yes, that would be quite alright.”

He sucked in a breath as Dr. Y/L/N walked around her desk and wrapped her arms around him in an embrace. 

“This is one of the kindest, sweetest, most thoughtful gifts anyone has ever given me,” Dr. Y/L/N murmured into his ear. “Truly, thank you so much.”

Hug her back, dumbass, Marc chided.

Oh, right. Steven quickly returned her embrace, tucking his face into Dr. Y/L/N’s neck as she hugged him tighter. “I'm very happy that you like it.”

Dr. Y/L/N nodded against him. “I love it.”

They stood there with their arms around each other for what couldn't have been more than a few moments, but felt to Steven like it lasted a lifetime.

Finally, Dr. Y/L/N gave him one last squeeze and stepped back. 

She gestured towards her box of tea. “Would you like to join me for a cup of tea? I'm excited to try out all of the different varieties.”

Steven nodded. “I would love to. Do you know which one you want to try first?”

“Probably the Earl Grey.” Dr. Y/L/N gave Steven a bashful smile. “It smelled so good when you had it the day you walked me home.”

“It is quite nice.” Steven gestured towards the door. “Shall we, then?”

Dr. Y/L/N took the Earl Grey pyramid out of the box. “Did you not want to try one of these?” 

“Oh, no, I keep a tin of tea in the staff kitchen,” Steven replied. “I don't want to take one of those in case it's a flavor you might like.”

“Oh, okay then.” Dr. Y/L/N picked up her coffee mug. “After you.”

They headed downstairs to the staff kitchen, which was blessedly empty.

Steven filled the museum's electric kettle with enough water for both of their cups of tea then turned it on before grabbing his own mug and tin of tea bags. 

He watched as Dr. Y/L/N carefully opened the box containing her tea bag.

She glanced over at him. “I'd like to preserve the pyramids, if I can.”

Steven grinned. “Spoken like a true archeologist.”

Dr. Y/L/N shrugged, a small smile on her face. “Or just a sentimental sap.”

Steven shook his head, touched by the thought of Dr. Y/L/N wanting to keep the box intact because it had been a gift. “Nothing wrong with that.”

Dr. Y/L/N took her tea bag out of its box and smelled it before dropping the bag into her coffee mug. “Mmm, that smells so nice.”

Steven nodded as he opened his tin of tea bags and set one into his own cup. “Oh, yeah, I agree. I love the smell of bergamot.”

He paused as the kettle clicked off. “Oh, there we are.” 

“How long do we let it steep for?” Dr. Y/L/N asked.

“Anywhere from 3-5 minutes,” Steven answered as he picked the kettle up off of its base. “Of course the longer you let it steep the stronger the flavor. May I?”

Dr. Y/L/N nodded and slid her mug towards him. “Thank you.”

Steven poured some hot water into her mug. “You're welcome.”

He poured some water into his own mug then emptied the kettle before setting it back on its base to dry. “Anything exciting on your agenda for today?”

Dr. Y/L/N shook her head. “Just the usual business stuff -- writing reports, meeting with I.T. about the PA system upgrade, and trying to update the gift shop offerings. Certain things are just not selling.”

She paused. “Actually… I know that's not your department anymore, but while you were in the gift shop, was there anything you wished we would've carried or something you felt was unnecessary?”

Steven nodded. “Actually, yeah. First of all, I don't know why we have so many themed sweets -- it's not like those even existed back in the time they're supposed to be representing. Also, maybe we could add some buildables to the shop?”

Dr. Y/L/N’s brow furrowed. “Buildables? You mean like Legos or something?”

“Sort of, but I was thinking more like wood kits and 3-D puzzles.” Steven pulled his phone out of his pocket and pulled up an example of what he was talking about. “The manufacturer has different kinds -- the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the Parthenon, all the wonders of the world.”

Dr. Y/L/N nodded. “Okay, yeah, I like that. Anything else?”

“Possibly a larger variety of plushies. All we have is Taweret right now.” Just anyone but Ammit, he added silently.

Dr. Y/L/N nodded. “Okay, I'll see what I can find. Thanks for your input.”

“Of course. Happy to assist.”

Dr. Y/L/N bit her lip. “You know, I have to be honest with you, when I received your text this morning saying you wished to meet with me I thought you were coming to tender your resignation.”

“Oh, no.” Steven shook his head. “No, no, absolutely not. When I told you that I plan on staying right where I am, I meant it.”

As long as you're here, anyway, he added silently.

“I’m very glad to hear that.” Dr. Y/L/N’s lips quirked back up into a smile. “After all, who else would save me from chatty board members during the museum galas?”

Steven shrugged, a small smile forming on his own face. “I'm sure there would be plenty of others willing to come to your rescue.”

Dr. Y/L/N shook her head. “No one quite like you, though.”

There was something in her expression that Steven couldn't quite place, but before he could even try, Dr. Y/L/N had cleared her throat and glanced down at her tea. 

“You're definitely one of a kind,” she added as she dipped her tea bag into her cup a couple of times. “I mean, I doubt anyone else would also be willing to sneak away from a fancy party with me to go translate ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs on a sarcophagus.”

Steven chuckled. “For the record, I would happily sneak away from a fancy party with you anytime.”

Dr. Y/L/N looked back up at him, a grin spreading across her face. “In that case, maybe during the next gala we can go hide out in Ancient Greece and drink tea.”

Steven nodded with a grin of his own. “That definitely sounds like a good time.”

“Great.” Dr. Y/L/N looked down at her cup of tea again. “So, do you think this has steeped long enough?”

Steven picked up a couple of teaspoons off of a drying mat next to the sink then slid the sugar canister in between himself and Dr. Y/L/N. “Oh, er, yeah, probably.” 

He handed her one of the spoons. “It depends on how sweet you like your tea as to whether or not you want to add sugar and just how much, but I find about a teaspoon does the trick for flavored teas. Gives it a bit of sweetness without overpowering the flavor.”

Dr. Y/L/N nodded. “I'll defer to your expertise, then. After you.”

Steven took his tea bag out of his cup and discarded it before spooning some sugar into his tea and watching as Dr. Y/L/N did the same.

He waited as she finished stirring her sugar in and rinsed off her spoon. “Moment of truth, eh?”

Dr. Y/L/N huffed out a laugh and raised her mug in a toast. “Bottoms up.”

She took a cautious sip, her eyebrows raising at the taste. “Oh, wow. Wow, this is really good.”

Steven smiled in relief as he rinsed his own spoon and set it next to hers. “Yeah?”

“Mmhmm.” Dr. Y/L/N took another sip. “I see what you mean about adding just a small amount of sugar -- I don't think I'd like it if it wasn't sweetened at all, but this is a nice balance between sweet and citrusy.”

Steven took a sip of his own perfectly-sweetened cup of tea. “It definitely took some trial and error to get the ratio just right.”

Dr. Y/L/N checked her watch. “I should get back upstairs so I can get ready for my meeting with I.T., but thank you again for my gift. It really does mean a lot to me.”

Steven nodded. “You're very welcome. And let me know how you like the other varieties.”

Dr. Y/L/N smiled with a slight nod of her own, then picked up the box for her tea bag. “I will. Have a good day, Steven.”

“You too, Dr. Y/L/N.”

Steven waited until Dr. Y/L/N had left the staff kitchen before putting his tea bags and the sugar away.

I told you she'd like it, Marc said in his head. You did good.

Steven picked up his cup and headed back downstairs to his desk, smiling to himself at the memory of Dr. Y/L/N’s arms around him as they had embraced. Yeah, I did, didn't I?