tandemdyke

[tandemdyke]

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

[tandemdyke]

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

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Verily, man, this wizard peace is splendid. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "spirits o' field and vineyard" or something along those lines, and every one around him was showered in fresh-baked pastries and loaves, had their cups fill with aged wine, and then were soothed by a warm summer breeze. The minstrels didn't even sing his praises, that's what a joyous time this is. And here I've just been casting calming dew and level 2 aura of cheer. I think I just heard "power word: dessert" two groups over. I gotta get over there.

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Being a henchman suuuucks dude. This latest guy I'm working for, the War-Madillo, he's got a, an Armadillo- motif, or theme, or whatever, right? That's fine, fine, I did a two-month stint with a Marmoset-themed guy once, it's not bottom of the barrel- except. Except. It turns out, he picked the Armadillo thing because he thinks that they're obligate carnivores. Which they kind of are, I mean I googled this, they're insectivores, but he thinks that they're like, land piranhas. He thinks they work in packs to take down significantly larger animals. He thinks they lay eggs in the remains of their prey. He's killed like three guys for trying to correct him. Me and the other guys are paying out of pocket to get the poor little guys in his Armadillo pit food that they can actually eat. Every time he drops some sucker into that thing we all have to draw straws to see who's gonna have to go in and gnaw on the body so he thinks the Armadillos are doing it. Thank god it's such a long drop

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Thank god I saved this from gayporntattoos before it got deleted

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everyone STOP having steady 9-5s and start being able to hang out with me at 2 am on a wednesday

[tandemdyke]

What are your top five pathetic little guys from manuscripts? Just the scrungliest creatures you've ever found? I want some truly PITIFUL medieval beasts here Miles, your top five wet little guys.

cat scared of and/or having an existential crisis about the eucharist (look at its eyes. it’s Seen Things.)

2. weird nervous frog with unfortunately yonic body from my favorite manuscript that usually does a good job with making creatures cute but NOT with this guy. why is he shaped like that and why did you give him anxiety

3. another frog with anxiety, he said 😬 (real) (my personal favorite. of all time.)

4. this fucked up hedgehog that looks like some kind of small bug

and 5. this “giraffe” 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 like I’m so sorry mx. manuscript illustrator but you cannot just throw a mane on a pissed-off elephant and call that a giraffe

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white boy shocks waiter by ordering in terrible chinese and then killing himself at the table

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😭😭😭😭😭

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Orville Peck's cover of Pick Pony Club by Chappell Roan [x]

[tandemdyke]

doctors keep telling me my dna is identical to that of a hamster & I shouldn’t be human shaped or even alive but whatever

[tandemdyke]

i always preface my posts with vote for whoever you want but anyone who is trying to tell you voting democrat (or republican) is not a deeply morally compromised choice at this juncture is making you stupider and making you evil. you can rationalize this choice, as people always have, but you should not be making this decision by lying to yourself or to others.

this thread from adam mckay (producer of the big short, don't look up, etc) is a pretty good indication of where most of the blue maga on this website are right now:

[tandemdyke]

HUANG YONGYU (1924-2023)

Herons

[tandemdyke]

Getting transported to a fantasy realm and a villager asks you to kill five rats in his basement and you assume it's the first quest on your grand adventure but it turns out that rat catcher is a ritually impure profession and you've doomed yourself to a life as a despised itinerant who's only allowed to marry the daughters of other rat catchers and hangmen

[tandemdyke]