#you ever see a character become THE character? cause thats what happened to me here

[u5an5]

Clef this, Gears that. My question is:

What is your favorite obscure character?

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

what's your take on odasaku and dazai's idealization of him?

also any takes you want to share about bsd/bsd in general?

(If you don't mind, I'm also interested in your thoughts about verlaine if thats ok 😭) tyty

who's your fave bsd character and whose the character from bsd you want to have more screen time?

i think its another case of projecting onto someone and it fucking things up. like notably how kouyou projects her own feelings abt light & dark onto kyouka. we just dont often see it that way because what oda does is like. stereotypically good? he uses his dying words to push a friend out of the dark. a death motivating others to act and furthering their character development is classic storytelling. you go into bsd knowing dazai is on the "good guys" side (not that the ada are "bad" but obviously reading bsd as a good guys vs bad guys story is. wrong), so clearly it worked out. so you kind of overlook the surrounding events yk? plus dazais own idolization of oda hammers that in. dazai tells atsushi that "He was a friend of mine (...) He’s the reason I quit the Port Mafia and joined the agency. I’d probably still be killing people for the mafia if it wasn’t for him" in dead apple (the lightnovel. im not going to go through pulling up the movie for this fhfhtndj). and so aside from previous bias people are going to take what dazai says at face value. hes thankful oda showed him the "side that saves people" and of course we're going to agree with that. the thing is. again. projection. now i havent actually finished dark era (i am working through it) but a lot of the time it feels like oda is just shoveling off all his feelings about being "someone meant for the darkness" onto dazai when thats something thats not going to be true for. well. anyone really? and his final conversation with dazai is very influenced by that. he says "You told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live... (...) You won’t find it (...) You should know that. Whether you’re on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity". now the thing is this is kind of a fucked up thing to say to an 18 year old with suicidal tendencies, but odas view of dazai makes it seem like a well needed wake up call. he obviously had good intentions. hes trying to "step into that solitude" but because of his flawed view of dazai he kind of. stumbles. dazai up to this point has been clinging onto the hope that he'd find a reason to live by observing the entire human experience. now oda comes along and dazai thinks hes found someone who understands him better than anyone, and oda tells him hes not going to find that. ever. so he should become a better person and make the world a good place. and also he's dying. so dazai, as we've seen, takes these words to heart. so hes not going to find a reason to live but he should also make the world a better place. good cool got that. so i think he gets a bit too comfortable being collateral for a good cause. and hes already convinced hes not going to find anything here, so of course hes not going to find anything. does that make sense.

i dont think ive phrased anything correctly here but like anyway i think with all his other friends around he'll be able to sort things out there. i cant see bsd ending without any sort of resolution for him in this regard yk.

[achaotichuman]

i was just re-reading your ACOTAR rant and it made me weep because it sums up all of my thoughts about the series and how tamlin continues to be disregarded and vilified for literally every single thing. i walked into the series already knowing rhys was endgame for feyre and that’s fine, but the minute i started ACOMAF i literally was like… what is happening here and why does everyone on instagram (i wasnt active on tumblr and mainly saw acotar stuff on instagram) hate tamlin so much. then i finished acomaf, acowar, and completed the series and i’m still so… confused?

all this to say, i’ve always been a tamlin girlie since the first book and i always will be. I’m genuinely scared abt what will happen in the next book whether tamlin will get redeemed (and he literally did redeem himself already in my opinion, esp. after acowar) in a horrible way or if he gets killed of. a part of me selfishly wants him to stay alive because thats my baby but also… idk how i feel about sjm’s plans if she does write a “redemption arc” for him.

Sorry for the rant lol, i just have a lot of thoughts (and love) for tam 🫶🏼

👏👏👏👏 PREACH! AMEN!

When I started Acotar I had already spoiled the entire series for myself. You could ask me any question about it, down to mfing details and I would’ve been able to answer correctly. Before ever even touching the book!

I think knowing whats gonna happen lets you honestly look deeper into the characters and relationships cause its no longer a surprise but an inevitable.

Makes it a lot easier to see how fucked up F*ysand really is. Tamlin didn’t deserve any of the villainisation he went through. Acomaf was completely out of a character. Which is another reason I think people go so quickly to Rhysand and refuse to see his red flags as well. Because Tamlin was shamed for having any sort of imperfection, the reader is shamed for ever having liked him and it is a really shitty feeling.

So people overturn it with becoming hardcore Rhysand stans.

Just a theory but it would explain this kind of cultish following his has that is targeting Tamlin.

Anyway never apologise for ranting thats what my blog is for!

[darlin-collins]

(Do) have feelings

Yall asked for comfort and comfort you shall get

Part 1 . Part 2

Characters: bright eyes, darlin/tank, sam (mentioned)

Ships: none

Summary: darlin went to visit sam, what they didn't expect is to find a teary eyed bright on the porch and an argument

Notes: comfort, tank is a hero, tank sees themselve in bright, i love writing these two's friendship, they both need a hug,i do too, author relates to both parties, bike ride, bright really wouldn't have minded if they fell off the bike and died

A/N: hope this is as good as the first part, because i wrote that while crying because of what "sam" did, i think it had more emotions poured out on it then this one does, but i like the writing in this one, tell me what you think?

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bright stayed there, tears still flowing down their face but they no effort to wipe them away now, leaving the tracks they leave behind to chill and give them a feel of what they should feel now, cold, they should feel cold, because they don't have feelings for sam to hurt..

And yet here they are crying because he hurt them

Bright stayed there, on the porch paper towls barely hanging on at their relaxed hand, eyes unfocused and listening to the screaming match inside, they huffed a laugh, despite being a part on the argument and cussed out in the middle of it, they didn't know what was it about, now it's about how sam cares for fred and that he would do anything for fred and themselves, they do believe him when says that, he proves it everyday,there wasn't a time they or fred asked for something and they didn't get it (not that bright ever asked for anything), he is a great parental figure(caretaker? He is not exactly their maker), if emotional support wasn't in the list of needs...

They bowed their head,staring the the space between their feet, listening to them argue,, they could hear them clearly as id they're in room with them now, but they focused on it, another habit they did when they were human when their parents argued, in case something happened

They didn't hear the engine that got turned off at the front of the house, nor the steps that followed

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Tank parked their bike, still confused about the yelling they started hearing ever since they got close enough, they thought things between sam and bright had gotten better after they talked to sam about it, and they spotted them, head low arms stretched on their bend knees, they didn't seem to have heard them when they arrived, either that or they did but didn't care enough about it, they walked across the entrance, stopped in front of bright, whose head shot up at the sight of their boots, so it was the former, they gave them a confused smile, one bright eyes looked away from..

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Tank kneeled in front of them, one knee on the stairs, the other they rested their arms on top of, bright returned their eyes on them, now sure they saw their tear filled face and their red eyes,red in all the spots they shouldn't be,

how embarrassing..

"are you ok" they said, gentle, and bright flinched away from them, tears on the edge of becoming a tide, they considered lying to them, saying the loudness caused their ears to hurt and thats why they were crying..

But their eyes... Tank saw right through them

Tears fell header and they took a shaky breath in "I'm just so tired" they whispered,voice tight, any louder and they might sob

Tank took a breath in too, look towards the house behind them, and then back at them, theu patted their shoulder twice and got up "come on"

Bright looked up at them, confused "come where?" but standing and following them anyway

"Somewhere!" they said with a shrug going back to their bike

Bright stood there watching them open their seat and taking out a helmet "here" they handed it over

Bright took it without a word, put it on as tank did the same

Tank hopped on the bike then twisted and looked back at them "hop in, i know a cool place"

And bright did just that

They held tank's shoulders as they sped up through the dark streets, music blasting in their helmet mixed with the sound of the wind rushing past their face, drying their tears and taking away any new ones that came

Street after street, block after block, and then they cut to a forest, tank stopped "we're here"

they both hopped off, and walked for a bit, bright looking at the trees and how beautiful they were, yes sam's cabin was out in woods but this was, another level of woods, trees huge and thick you can barely see the sky..

"And tada" tank said putting no effort on the "tada"

Bright tore their eyes off the giant tree they were looking at and paid attention to what was in front of them and their eyes winded

It was huge, beautiful lake, with the water reflecting small bits of the moon that shined through the trees, surrounded by huge rocks

"come on kid, it ain't gonna be night forever" tank said already climbing the rock to their left, they did the same, having the wolf helping them to the top

They sat, a bit satisfied, looking out the wonderful sight before their eyes, but all that came crashing down when the amusement of those moments faded away

And tank saw that, putting a hand on top of theirs

Bright couldn't help but spill all their feelings righ then and there, how they wish they'd stop doing everything wrong, how they want sam to look at them once, and anything but anger or disappointment, how they are trying their best to makr him proud, and how they know they shouldn't seek his approval but they do, so much, so much that when they don't get it they feel useless, so they just avoid him in general, but there's no way they could do it forever, and how it's a never ending circle of seeking affection by actions, never getting it, and crashing down and doing it all over

By the end of their talk they were sobbing into the wolf's chest as they ran their hand up and down their arm and rocking them back and forth

As bright starts to doze off they hear the shifter whisper "you're enough kid, you don't have try to be anymore"

More tears fell from their eyes as they mumbled "i wish i could believe that" and let themselve fall into the comforting darkness of sleep..

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[lizaluvsthis]

What got you to start drawing the boys do you take requests? Cause I like the cafe au

IT MIGHT SEEM CRAZY ON WHAT IM BOUT TO S-

When I said I've been a SMG4 fan for 4 years, I left the channel for i dunno how many weeks or months has it been. Then one day I saw WOTFI 2023 recommended in my youtube page and was.

"Wotfi 2023? But I thought- wait- who are these characters again?"

Turns out I forgot that Ive only seen SMG4 and SMG3's (cocomelon ass) designs during wotfi 2022 where it was both of their first redesigns from the movie. I stopped watching for a bit cuz I got busy.

Then I came back to see they were both redesigned in a better version now. Now that I thought about "where was their second redesign then?"

So I knew that I had to binge watch every single episodes from smg4's channel right after wotfi 2022

I then saw how much Three has changed ever since after the 2022th christmas episode.

If I were to be honest, watching igbp for the first time in my life even Mar10 day. I was about 85% sure that Smg3 worries too much for Smg4's sake.

They both are cosmically linked and three can feel what the other of his partner is feeling soooooo?

*circles both of my hands*

Three's gay. He looked fruity he felt fruity. During the movie and during right after he helped four's ass to get his channel back from running again.

It suddenly gave me some time for my brain to tell me "DUDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS COULD BE A HINT- THIS IS MAYBE AN ENEMIES TO LOVERS!" I responded to my brain like- HELL YEAH I'M NOTING THAT DOWN.

Cuz I cant just sit here and just "watch the movie without sayin nothin" I HAD to do something AND make analysis about it because thats what I do when I notice simple details!

So when smg3 confessed those feelings of his to Smg4 and even running to save his life back again and even after saying "we're friends!" This gave me a bit of a shock. Three. Did you know what you did? Did you realize how much it meant for smg4? Did you FORGET- that you said you and him werent friends during the 2020th wotfi?

So then after all of this time... that means smg3 has been the one and always a tsundere to smg4

Even after the castle disappeared, him and three's chemistry started going into an actual progress from both of their chemistry from the relationship.

Thats a dedication for me right there. I do it not only for fun, I do it for my wants, have, and needs.

I know its funny for a minor like me to do all of this dedicaded in just a simple job, I have all kinds of specialities to include my works and skills and use them for this fandom again from how I did to the past ones. (But those past fandoms are dead-)

Ahem- what was I talking about again? Oh right- 3 and 4... sorry got a little bit too chatty-

So I noticed even more about Smg3's notebook and was like- "gahd damn- three had his own personal notebook this whole time?! Whats even inside of it? I'm curious..." so yeah-

Now jumping to where I watched 2023 of wotfi again (twice now) to see its context about it- I was flabberGHASTED in after the "drawing" and also the mysterious tv guy whose also appearing on as the final antagonist in the modern era and a new one from the new era.

"Holysht. This is about to go bonkers for the fans making up stuff about those 'what-ifs' that smg4 made from the previous video back then. (The part where waluigi won or desti being alive)

I'm curious enough to see what happens and even if its about tv adware. Yes too.

(THERE. In November I started to become quite more invested from the fandom and decided to drop in my luggage and load out all of my junks called Info-Analysis?)

So- hello! (Again-) :D it was a pleasure meeting every and one of you all- I stopped in just to come back from the fandom that I never made commentary about but now I can ^^

I started with doodling and knowing basic anatomy and shapes of SMG3 and SMG4's design (the new one) so that I could start on doodling about them. But what I didnt expect for myself is that I had created a long time chapter of "Indigo Secret" that wasn't supposed to be there on purpose.

It was just supposed to be a "silly" comic about it from where ■■■■■■■■ to ■■■■■■■ about the problem and then the part in this that came into ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ from ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

*BEEP*

I took myself a big motive after my blog gained 10+ followers and more notes. I thought working here 24/7 would make me feel something more for destiny and the trip!

So- yeah. Work. :) even when I'm at school I also complete my assignments and all of the shts and after that I can continue on with continuing the pages and with some cute doodles with the boys from a scenario playing through my head.

Now you have me making all of this and that ^^

Thats whay I'm popular for :)

--

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2nd answer...

Thank you for liking the cafe au! It means so much to the both for me and shay from the collab to move on!

I did say from my boundaries I take free art request 1 at a time only- and I could allow a second art request if I do have the time ^^

Yes I do take art request :)

(Except for-

oc-shipping with SMG3/SMG4 cuz they're both together in the au

NSFW

Some stuff that I can't approve on-)

Ask away :)

Thanks for asking me stuffs anon I really enjoy talking ^^

[jyushi-thoughts]

have you watch the Takoyaki Party? how do you like it? I'm kinda satisfied cause I'm surprised by the descriptions about Totoko's growth😊she's such a nice girl who loves fish as always☺️☺️

OOC: I have! Funny you send me this ask, I was just about to talk about it on my main! EXTREMELY LONG RAMBLE INCOMING!!

Ahh what a sweet little movie.. While the wacky shenanigans are my favorite part of this show, I always still love a slice of life "nothing happens" kind of plot. And it couldn't have come at a better time honestly. I've been feeling like Totoko a lot lately.

As a character, Totoko hasn't really been focused on in depth very often, but it's clear that she's always had a problem with comparing herself to others. She always wants to be better than everyone else, and feels self conscious about it. She's also always trying to force herself into feminine stereotypes that don't really fit her personality or interests. It's nice to see that explored a little more here, though it's osomatsu san so they won't get too deep into it of course.

She's anxious at the pressure to become a "real adult" like Nyaa and her brother Fighting Yowai are. Specifically the focus here seems to be on having children. I mean when you really think about it, that's the supposed "end goal" of being what society says is a "proper adult" yknow? Especially for women. She's clearly feeling kinda behind when she's seeing Nyaa chan be an independent single mother, and now with her brother coming home with his wife and new baby. Totoko is nowhere near ready to be independent like that.

Sooo it's easier to just forget about real life for a while and hang out with the Matsus! They're always the same, ever since they were kids! They're not "real adults" either, but they seem to be carefree and having lots of fun every day! So everyone in town who has to work so hard, they can just party with the matsus for as long as they can!

The matsus are sorta anxious about their lack of independence too, but that feeling kinda lessened ever since season 1. It seems like over time they accepted it to the point where they're PROUD to be NEETS now, or at least apathetic to it. So to them, they don't really understand why everyone else wants the sleepover to last forever. Time stands still for them anyway.

Plus either way, while they are pressured by society to be "proper adults", it's kinda different for them as cis men. Totoko's focus on having children is something that comes with very different social expectations and baggage. Pretty much all women are expected to be mothers someday, and it can feel incredibly stifling and stressful when you know that there's a time limit on that. A time limit on finding a partner and settling down, thats terrible! Plus then, even when that happens, the idealized version is never the reality. At the party, everyone is so happy. The old guys are full of energy, and Nyaa's toddler is behaving as a perfect cute angel. But in the split second flashbacks at the end, we can see the tedium of their day to day jobs, Matsuyo coping with aging, the struggles Nyaa goes through to raise her baby alone, ...Dayon's cat dies or something.. idk

So isn't it easier to forget about that reality and hang around with the matsus, who always go at their own pace? That's way more fun!

I've also been thinking too, on a more personal level. Gosh this show is 8 years old. ITS 8 YEARS OLD!!! ITS IN THE THIRD GRADE! What a nightmare the passage of time is. So yeah I've been feeling like Totoko. And I'm sentimental about this show! For whatever reason, my brain decided to fixate on it for all this time.

The matsus were kinda my ambassadors to adulthood really. I just graduated highschool and was starting my first semester of college when I first watched this show. And the feeling of "oh god we're supposed to be adults but we don't know what we're doing!!" that went from being funny to WAY TOO RELATABLE super quickly. And man, back then I certainly didn't think id still be feeling that way after 8 years. I'll probably be feeling it forever. Buuut reality still goes on and time is passing, and we're all older and Nyaa chan's baby is a toddler now. But the matsus are the same, and for a little while we can forget about reality and party with them for a little while~!

Even if the matsus are reeeeeeallly sick of it..

And that reminds me of another thing too. When the matsus were like sick and dying and begging for sleep when the whole town was forcing them to keep partying... That.. was meta commentary right? Like, I can't interpret that any other way. Like the show writers are just trying to tell us that they're BURNT OUT. Which, let's be fair, that's understandable I guess. (I mean not to ME because I feel like the matsus have infinite stories they could be used for but. anyway.) If that's true, and the writers are just begging to let the matsus finally go to sleep. I'm kinda fine with it! I genuinely think that this movie is a PERFECT series finale. It brushes on the anxiety of adulthood that the show is known for, it gives a spotlight to the beloved side characters, and it feels like a nice calm little summary of the whole thing. We had a fun party with these guys, and we can go back and play with them whenever we get tired of being adults for a while.

...so yea! I liked it! :3

And I'll be ready in 20-30 years when they reboot it as Osomatsu-Ojiisan where the brothers are all middle aged lmao

[helluvapurf]

13

forgot i was still doing this ask meme for a sec my bad lol

13. worst blorboficiation

Do you mean in terms of canon portrayals, or fandom-wise? Hmmm... if we're just talking canon here, then... weeeeell- >>

-Now before anyone freaks out, no I don't "hate" Stolas... at most I'm honestly just kinda... "neutral"-feeling whenever he pops up on screen these days 🤷‍♀️

Concept-wise, I do like the idea of Stolas being this seemingly aged, powerful figure among the Ars Goetia... struggling to balance his twisted desires with his family/royalty responsibilities. Often getting lost in his own head to focus on anyone but his personal joy/fantasies-

...but at the same time, not too far gone that he can't reel it back in-time to eventually realize his mistakes, and try to do whatever he can to fix it (no matter how successful or not those attempts be-):

It was unique, compelling and overall made Stolas an entertaining character from the initial HB pilot to the end of S1. Making me super intrigued of how this crooked, broken bird could eventually grow and learn from all that happened into S2...

...aaaaand then "The Circus" & onwards just... idk, decided to do away with all that to make Stolas more like an innocent, pure-natured soul all along... who never meant to come off like a selfish jerk 'cause he's just soooo lonely & sad, having the sweetest of intentions all along~ 🥺🥺

and its like... usually I don't mind giving sympathetic/tragic backstories to explain why they behave the way they do in the present-day... but with how S2's been framing things with Stolas atm, any and all mistakes he's pulled in the past has become the fault of other people's doing?

Stolas & Stella having a cold, loveless marriage that ended in him getting caught cheating (+Stella hiring a hit on him because of said cheating)? ...Well then clearly thats all Stella's fault for being a raging harpy from birth, so bitch got what she deserved when he dumped her ass, haha~

Stolas having a demeaning, belittling view on Imps (even around Blitz a few times in S1)? ...Well then that clearly was just the fault of his eeeevil dad Paimon, pushing the idea in his son's head from his kid years (who was so pure at heart enough that he wanted to bow to Blitz, when they met, awww~).

Stolas not being the most attentive father to Octavia, ignoring her feelings over & over? ...Well then clearly thats all on Via for not being grateful for the big, noble sacrifices Stolas put into loving her (esp as she apparently only exists to be a “precautionary heir” from his toxic marriage), and the fact that he's trying should be enough to forgive all his faults as the best dad ever~

Stolas being a pushy creep towards Blitz during their S1 dynamic, stepping over boundaries despite Blitz's clear discomfort? ...Well then that's clearly all on Blitz for being the one who put the moves on Stolas first, who was just a flustered bean from the start wanting to reconnect with his old buddy & gained true feelings overtime... why can't Blitz see how much Stolas loooooves him~? :ccc

...Aaaaand yeah, idk about yall but ehhhhh- I just couldn't really get into that angle the more I watched S2 :/. Not to say that Stolas’ last couple appearances were bad, per-say ('cause I did find his sassiness to Striker while kidnapped + his reading-enthusiasm with Ozzie's contract pretty funny)... buuut to make a long story short:

Shady, morally gray Stolas who needs to work on himself >>>>> Sad baby boi Stolas who did nothing wrong ever

[cosmossystem]

Hey, I'm sorry for suddenly dumping this onto your askbox, but I just feel the need to be heard

I honestly don't care about being anti and proship at all

But... Everytime I see a post from someone who proudly calling themselves anti... It's always so scarily violent

All those posts saying "kill yourself", "deserves to die", all of that stuff

If you don't like a person or stuff they make... Just block them, mute the tags they use, forget they ever exist

Literally easier to do that than harassing the said person or making others uncomfortable with your violence tendencies

This is why some people that have "I'm an anti" or "Proship dni" have become such a redflag to me, even tho most of the time people who uses them are genuinely just good people who misunderstood what proship is

I wish this whole discourse never existed, I miss everything before 2020...

^^ this

and we feel the exact same way

like we dont have any hard stances on shipcourse because both sides have misinfo and both are wrong about some things-- like, we are firmly anti-lolisho and thats one of the things that is usually seen as "proship", but we do have "problematic" ships and we believe in SALS and are anti-censorship. so much misinfo flies between the two because no one cares about being right, they care about looking right, much like every other fake-activist (which are unfortunately common these days.)

the only reason we even care to begin with is because antis have been so violent to us about it. if you arent with them, youre against them, and if youre against them, youre a target.

it seems like theres a lot of antis in neurodivergent & plural spaces, too, which is just crazy to me, so it feels like we have to specify every time "yes, we're the proship in your DNI, just block us please."

i do wanna say that while 2020 made things worse, ive been in shipcourse + fandom spaces since 2016 and it was pretty bad back then too. like in 2016 i had an anti-ship & anti-ddlg blog and there were DOZENS of other antis in the tags -- yall remember "character-against-bad-ships" blogs? yeah. we ran several of those and had hundreds of mutuals running them as well. (im getting flashbacks to "sonic-for-real-justice". eugh.)

we Fully Converted To Proshipism (/j) in about 2018-19, so i saw how bad it was getting right before covid and honestly its never fully recovered. fandom hasnt really been peaceful since... maybe before 2016? i dont know, i wasnt there. flaming and ship wars have always been around but i honestly cant think of when all this "pro v anti" stuff started. seems like it was a slow buildup and now its just fucking everywhere.

i know this wasnt the point of your ask, but im gonna go on a tangent here because i like to yap:

i think the current state of shipcourse is caused, in part, by the fact that younger generations are getting into fandom. except, i think every time someone points this out, they get it wrong and pin it on some bullshit like "younger fans are mistaking fandom for activism/politics!" that argument sucks because that doesnt afford any empathy to the teenagers and young adults who grew up in this awful fucking political climate (including myself.) fandom IS politics to young people, because they have been aware of the state of the world since the time they could read and dont know a world that isnt inherently political in every way.

and then that brings up the misconception that fandom isnt / should never be political, which isnt true and is literally just denial of what is already happening. every form of media and consumption is inherently political. proshippers tend to be wrong about that, plug their ears and lalala until it goes away while ignoring the very political parts of fandom-- like the misogyny, racism, ableism, aphobia... etc.

and so we get stuck in the same song and dance because everyone is wrong and parrots the same disinfo. fandom is very black and white like that. its either everything is ok, or none of it is, with no room for nuance. like for instance: you can enjoy shipping the canonically-aroace character with someone and that doesnt make you a bad person, but dont pretend that doesnt have any real world implications. and so on.

anyway. thank you for the ask, anon. sorry this got really long and passionate. im very opinionated.

- red

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hello I wanted to talk to you about something. Would like to hear your opinion on it because I really respect it. So on Twitter Trumanblack was trening lately and I saw people being mad that truman Black came back.

Here's couple of tweets, to show you the perspective:

,He is escaping the reality through this character. Being sincere and open is the way to live life not hiding behing fictional characters. He needs to grow up and realize where his priorities are.

Ofc, we do not know him. His choice, his life.

Or

what the fuck happened matty. I don't understand what you're doing right now. should have left Truman in the trash. I don't get it.

Or

This. It seems he was used to dealing with difficult emotions through avoiding them in stage character (he admitted to this in an interview recently) & he wanted to ditch the character & embrace the emotions/be sincere things maybe got too raw & real so he is back in charakter

I'm sorry this message is so long. I'm just thinking about it all. Do you think 'matty' is gone and he will be acting and all that in the upcoming tour? Cause I wouldnt like it and it won't be good for him too :/

Again sorry this is so long

No, I mean, this is an interesting topic that I think we should 100% get into to "warm up" for the tour. I bet we'll have even more to say once we start getting content from the first new shows in September. (omg not too far away now aaaahhhh), so everyone feel free to chime in, but basically, here is how I think about it ( this is probs gonna be long. apologies in advance. im gonna add a "keep reading" so i dont destroy y'all feeds).

The first thing we need to remember is that Matty's "Truman Black" persona pre-dates the ATVB tour. He's always been "Truman Black." He's always been a jokester, a meme lord, a bit chaotic, a bit sexy, a pastiche or caricature of himself.

The question, then, is why? Why does he do this?

For several reasons. And he's been nothing but honest with us about them.

From as early on as 23 years old, when ST first started blowing up and the boys cultivated a following, Matty became acutely aware of the spotlight and the way that fans idealized and idolized him. Sexually desired him, saw him as this rockstar figure. And it made him uncomfortable because, well, no real human being could live up to such a fantasy, right? That's really what the song "Love Me" is about. He experienced this during album 1 and instantly wrote about it for album 2. like thats how strongly he felt it. He's more eloquent about it than I can ever be, so I'm going to link you to his explanation of "Love Me."

so, as he's pointing out in his explanation, he plays this kinda ridiculous character to "subvert" expectations. right? even in the mv, he has cardboard cut outs of sex symbols and heart throbs like Harry Styles etc. and he takes his shirt off and stands next to them and makes out with them and all that. Usually, the normal rockstar-fan relationship is that we project our fantasy upon the rockstar and the rockstar accepts it obligingly. But Matty's going "well this is really kinda silly, and it makes me feel sooo disconnected from myself if i turn into this person everyone thinks i am, so what am i gonna do? oh I'll just lean into the silliness." so if he can't do the "fake authenticity" of the cliched rockstar, hes gonna do a very authentic fakeness of being loud, and silly goofy funny messy larger than life, etc.

He explains it here (I've cued it up to the right moment in the video). He's right, if you're a stranger and you know nothing about him and you see him behaving in a Truman-black-esque way, you'd think "wow what an arrogant piece of shit this dude is." BUT if you realize that he's like "i KNOW that you all think of me this way. And YOU (the fans) know that I know that you think that way." we become in on the joke.

You know what im gonna say here. Postmodernism. LMAO. No, but for real. Postmodern art naturally has this "meta" habit. It's art that knows itself as art. It's aware that it's not real. Like movies that are constantly referring to themselves as movies. breaking the experience of illusion for you by constantly reminding you that what you are watching has been filmed and edited. it's not real life. Thats what Matty does with the "rockstar persona" constantly reminding you "it's not real. im just a character made up in all our heads. I'm actually a normal human being but my job is kinda fuckin mental."

So, I think those 4 points, from VERRRYYY early in Matty's career are the genesis of Truman Black. Thats what "Truman Black" is based on.

You could ask, well, if Matty has been this way from the very beginning how come it's such a problem now? how come this whole thing is a new issue??

I think its the perfect storm of this year.

The ATVB show was designed to push the blurry lines between Matty Healy/ Truman Black to their very limits cuz they added extra layers of meta-theatricality to an already meta situation haha. He plays himself in the couch scene, and the raw meat scene, but he's also kind of playing a symbolic version of himself that's supposed to apply to a lot of straight men, but then the show is also about the lines between his personal and his public lives.

Then he goes and does the Truman Black rockstar shit in the second half of the show. So, the tour really could've been called "Matty Healy: At His Very Truman Black-esque" and it would have been accurate. Like he took this concept and stretched it to see how far it could take him.

Then of course you have the podcast thing, the taylor swift thing, the twitter cancelation cycles, etc etc etc.

There were so many new eyes on him. and so much out of context (remember, meta-theatricality needs context. needs the audience to be in on the joke. we have to know 'oh hes making fun of himself being a rockstar') cuz if we don't have the context he really comes off as a guy who's in love with himself and his rockstar status haha.

Now that alllll of this background is out of the way, lets discuss the questions that you've brought up.

Is he Matty or is he Truman Black?

I think lots of people didn't notice that when he threw out the lab coat that was labeled "truman black" in the video, he wasn't serious. he instantly starts doing the robot dance, flipping the camera off with his finger, acting disruptive by riding the trolley thingy. All Truman Black behavior: mischief, breaking rules, etc. so it was a "meta" joke. he tossed the character then acted like the character. a contradiction. ironic. Truman Black's never been gone! he and Matty are intertwined necessarily. you can't separate one from the other.

Is he gonna be acting at all in S...ATVB?

Yes. He will. He's working with Brad Troemel whose sense of humor is very close to Matty's and who loves irony and postmodernism.

Does he use Truman Black to "hide from difficult situations" or to "run from his emotions" or whatever that tweet was saying? no. He uses it to deliver social critique. About masculinity being ridiculous, about our relationship to artists and the fantasy of perfection in Rockstar cliches, about performative wokeness.

Those are the very same beliefs that Matty Healy believes in. hes always criticizing these things in interviews and speeches and stuff. So, no, hes not hiding behind the character to disassociate he IS the same guy, just a slightly less dramatized and exaggerated version.Thats why he doesn't completely turn it on or off at any time. Thats why it's not that he was willing to stop it for a relationship and then start it again when it didn't work out. Thats not how Matty operates at allll.

He didn't throw out his belief that performative wokeness is harmful and stupid, he didn't throw out his belief that leftist masculinity is confusing, he didn't change who he is at his very core just to be mr nice guy, or to be sincere, or to get his dick sucked off by Taylor Swift, or whatever these people think is the reason. He's always been this way; he very likely will always be this way. Thats just how he makes art and how he thinks about the world.

He's always BEEN open to embracing emotions and being sincere. "I love you, don't you mind?" "we're only human we're just like you man" "I'll quote on the road like a twat," "im petrified of being alone, its pathetic," "im just pissed off because you pied me off after your show," "you pick a fight and i'll define it" "i said its cool i was messing but its true," "pretend that i know what it is (i wasn't listening)" "sorry that I quite like seeing myself on the news. im sorry that im someone that i wish i could change, but ive always been the same."

would an emotionally stunted anti-sincerity guy write ANY OF THESE LYRICS? idk, you tell me.

[medtech-mara]

🖊 + Jack Adams, please :)

Ohhhhhh!!! Ya know I had to 🏃🏽‍♀️ !!!! and answer this

Gush? About Jack Adams? I thought you’d never ask!!!!

Well, let’s start with some facts about me making him. but first.. click for song will set the tone.

He’s my first ever real male OC.

He was never meant to be a love interest

Never meant to be Jayce Adams brother (old legacy gta5 rp character of my husbands) I threw it out as a joke weeks before the campaign started to make Mara’s life hell. He decided to do just that. I didn’t know til he was introduced naturally in the story.

I don’t actually remember what his first first name was.. and he was White.

Though Jack is my original character, I surrendered him to the DM.

I collabed with @cyberneutral to make Jack’s preset. (They make legendary male Vs imo) He has been edited along the way, but the Orignal is still very much present and I cannot be THANKFUL enough for them to bringing my dreamy Jack to life, exactly as i had pictured... I know what i had asked for was extremely difficult but they did it. *smooches picture of jack* I'm sure they are sick of me tagging them about it. I hope this will be the last... UNLESS🖤🖤🖤???

Jack Sergio Adams, is a 33 years old, grew up in a normal middle class household for the most part, except for the fact his best friend practically living with his family, who had accepted her as one of their own, a daughter they never had.

The story of Jack Adams in the canon story is a tragic one, I will only touch the canon story a little, but I will GUSH about him in the AU: Water on Mars (keep and eye out on the TAG!).

Jack, had followed Mara everywhere, they joined Med school together, joined trauma team together, killed the same man and subsequently fired together, saved from murder charges from Marco Guerrero and Jayce Adams standing on TTI and NCPD... you guessed it.. together. So, after months of grinding at Meatwagon, Jack gets the idea that they should set up a clinic in the Wellsprings, to give back to the community, to atone for their sins on trauma team. (not killing that guy tho, he deserved what he got.) The two worked their asses to the bone, taking every extra shift they could and coverage to make it happen. After 2 years since the Clinic opened its doors, the rhythm of life has started to slow down, and the time started to look right, He just needed to find the words to say to Mars. He never got the chance, as when Mara started seeing this Rockerboy J I H Z Z Y, who he was convinced wasn't going to last long. WRONG. However Jack would never see how wrong he was, as he tragically was killed by Maxtac's C-SWAT team after hearing from Mara everything that had been going on her life. The Killswitch.... He asked her if things could go back to normal once the killswitch was removed, but when she admitted that she had agreed with his twin brother Jayce, that when the killswitch is removed, she is to report for duty at Maxtac, becoming a C-SWAT member. This caused Jack, who was at this point mostly cyberware from the city center attack, he couldn't handle that much put on him at once, which caused him to slip into cyberpsychosis. Murdered in front of Mara before she could tell him she loved him and was throwing everything away to keep him on this side of sanity, he met his tragic end. His song for this campaign: Here

Okay. I know thats more than I had promised about canon, but I promised there was A LOT MORE you need to know. But I wanna gush about AU Jack!!!

Much like the same in canon, except, Mara starts seeing this Space Corpo named Titus Atredies, 6'5, Body swapped. Jack, knew he stood no chance against that, but when things didn't work out and Mara broke things off, Jack knew he wasn't going to let this chance slip. He started working out again, dusting off his combat experience and joined the merc world, all without saying a word to Mara, he has to protect her. (Canon Jack makes the same decision much later and never tells Mara but by then Mara was so far ahead he couldn't catch up) One night, Mara and Jack had plans to head out to Tios (The unoffical name of the bar next to Mara's place. He is everyones uncle who frequents the bar, which, ya know my girl does... alcohoilc) when on Mara's run home, she called and said she had a gig to save some girls kidnapped. Though, a part of him was disappointed, however, he knew this was Mara's calling. She'd do whatever it took to keep another girl ending up like her childhood friend Jennifer Costa (You can read what happened here). However, Jack found it extremely odd, that later that night he didn't even get a zchat saying she was off the gig. Even stranger, she didn't show up for work, no one saw her for her run. She was.... Just gone? That doesn't make sense though. Mara would never just disappear without a word, something terrible had to have happened. Something terrible indeed... See, Mara had gotten off that gig, and on her way home, taking N-CART. Militech shoved her onto the track electrocuting her, causing her to pass out and her kiroshi's to pop. When she woke though, she was unable to see, and calling out for a nurse proved to be fruitless, because when she did get a response, it was from a Maelstrom booster informing her of her predicament. Luckily for her though, They had found a frequent flyer card for AV travel under the name of Titus Atredies, which meant they knew they had struck gold. They would be holding her for Ransom until Titus or someone named Jack Adams could pay for her release. After hours though, no one showed, which meant they needed to move locations to ensure that NCPD wouldn't be showing up. Loading her up in a van, they started to transport her from Santo to NID, where the boosters began to Jones for their next high. Mara, had been sending out pings to Jago, as he lived in Kabuki and she knew they were taking her to Totentanz and then to All foods factory in their pursuit of Black Lace.

When at All foods plant, the driver had come back and still no Jago.. Mara convinced no one was going to save her, she'd rather have a bullet to the back of her skull than to find out whatever plans these sick fucks had in mind, prepared to run, as they didn't think to strap her down. Suddenly theres two taps on the driverside glass, and before the Maelstromers would even say anything, there was shot after shot into the driver and passenger, which cause Mara to scream from being startled and begging for help. When suddenly, she hears Jack's voice call out to her.... He'd saved her. Though, Jack did have trouble getting started at a Merc, his first group being slaughtered on their first gig together, doesn't look good on a Medtech merc that can't keep his team alive, so he was dropped by his fixer. When Mara decides, why not. Night Raid is about to disband no gigs coming in from them and all the ones she's been doing has one she's fixed for herself. So why not add Jack to the team? She'd watched him stand toe to toe with someone with Mantis blades and still on this side of the earth. He was far more capable than Mara had anticipated, as he had started making his own toxins and drugs to use during combat. Which, He did decide to make a cologne on one, just anyone down wind of him would become frightful and have mild hallucinations.

pictured: Tios bar

Okay... You asked me to GUSH ABOUT HIM. So I have... but thats only the tip of the Iceberg. Jack is finding his own and more confident everyday, I know it seems like He revolves around Mara but CONSIDER THIS! He lived in the shadow of his fraternal twin, Jayce, and constantly having to keep an eye out on the road ahead, because as long as Mara is behind the wheel, they are doomed for some kinda mess.

I honestly never thought that Mara and Jack would EVER get together like never ever. The fear of losing the closest thing shes ever had to a family is a risk she wasn't willing to make until... Well a bit of wine, a homecooked meal made by jack, and the dice saying its happening. It was almost like all they had to do was just get that tension out of the air for them to see that they were meant to be. Now if only Jago would stay out of the picture...

I will understand if you never ask me anything ever again.... but please ask me more xD

[charmixpower]

Issue Twenty-Four: Love Potion

Jester Comic Jester Comic Jester Comic Jester-

Um fnsbdnsksbs girlie???

I'm so obsessed with Stella's top jacket and headband 🥰 so so cute

Musa is so adorable as well 😍😍😍

Bloom, why, just, why

Imagine opening a book and it's just "make a motorcycle outfit appear, for second years" I'm so obsessed

They are so cute!!!! Love all their outfits!!!

Flora's off the shoulder sweater 😍 Aisha's sweater vest over the open button up 😍 Tecna's thigh highs and electric horns 😍 Musa's sideways music note 😍

Bloom's is very mid next to Tecna's

This is so so so cute, most couple ever

So adorable 🥰🥰🥰

Shilly, stop trying to be a home wrecker plzz

Shilly stuttering when talking to Icy is everything to me, she so clearly is confused and freaked out by Icy talking to her and then remembers Icy doesn't have her memory

Important question for this comic

Uh why the fuck does Icy do this??? Boredom??? Because the only reasonable answer is boredom

This actually gets more confusing later on, but we get there when we get there

Comics Tecna you are not my baby girl even a little bit 💓 Look at how they massacre my girl

THAT IS SO UNSANITARY!!!! FUCKING AWFUL!!

NFNSBJWEJBEBRNWNWBWBW SHILLY ACCIDENTALLY MAKES STELLA IN LOVE WITH HER ALT CON THATS HILARIOUS

Why does this random ass student dislike Stella so much??

"She was always so full of herself just because she had a boyfriend"

incorrect, Stella is always full of her self

But also Stella literally save Alfea form being destroyed, learn some fucking respect

I have no comment, I am rolling on the floor

Nothing to see here folks

Also Bloom you wouldn't be saying this if it was Sky

Look at Musa's sweater 😍 she's so adorable I'm obsessed, she looks super cute in orange

Hate the under shirt tho

SERIOUSLY WHY DID SHE DO THIS!!! IF SHE JUST WANTED TO UPSET THE WINX AND CAUSE DRAMA SHE WOULDN'T TELL SHILLY THIS!!! WHAT IS GOING THOUGH HER HEAD!!!

Literally the only explanation is wavy she wanted to exert control over someone and control their actions though her words, because that's the only thing she gains from this situation

Which is an interesting characterization of Icy as a toxic manipulator who enjoys dragging people around to her whims, but that's never stated, so my only recourse is to assume that the writers don't even know and just wanted this plot to happen

Also they somehow made Icy's top WORSE

Bloom is literally just watching this without doing anything, amazing job looking out for your friends

Even if Brandon's been acting weird, this is v good evidence that isn't his fault, and you don't sit there and observe what's happening. You confront Shilly about what she's doing because maybe she's making it WORSE

This moment is really sweet tho, god I hope Shilly becomes a reoccurring character as a witch who is friends and helps the Winx bc all witches are evil is sooooo annoying to me

"I prefer to win you over, day after day!"

THAT IS SO FUCKING CUTE!!! MOST COUPLE OF ALL TIME FOLKS!!! THEY ARE THE BEST!!

[bunmuffin]

Hello, feel free to ignore this if you don't wanna answer but I finally got to watch your rpg video (which was very cute and fun to watch) and you seem to know your way around tsams. Do you think you could maybe give a quick explanation of what the fuck is happening?! I want to get into this show but there's like 1000 layers of lore, drama, and complications (and don't get me started about their side channels) that make it hard to understand what's happening. I don't really wanna watch 6 months of daily content, I've already tried and failed, and nobody has any sort of explanation of what's going on 😱😱

Again you don't have to go through if you don't want to (or don't know) I'm just lost man...

Hello! I'm glad you enjoyed my video and appreciate your kind words <3 As far as the lore of SAMS goes dw, I was in your shoes too. I only started watching them last December and I had like 7 months of lore to catch up on. I did find out (if you want to experience the lore yourself) you can just watch their VRchat videos. Most of the lore is in there (besides a few minecraft lore videos). They have a Playlist of it on their channel, and that should help you understand the majority of it. But here is my crappy bullet point explanation if you want a super summary. Keep in mind though I wasn't there for most of it so some of these events I don't fully understand myself. Before they started their channel: - Sun and Moon shared a body. Moon hated it and was constantly causing Sun pain. Moon already has a virus (though they refer to it as a Kill Code) - They eventually reconcile and agree to work together. Moon makes his own body and transfers his AI too it while trying to leave his Kill Code behind (hoping it would just deactivate) - I believe they follow the in game events of the pizzaplex burning down and now their homeless The start of their channel: - Two bros, chilling in a bunker, 5 feet apart cause their playing video games for their channel. They also continue to run a mini daycare - Moon starts to show signs that his Kill Code is returning and Sun also starts to act a bit-- kill codey (because Moon left it behind in Sun) - JULY 16th! Sun kills for the first time. This kill code Sun eventually becomes the character Eclipse. Eclipse and Lunar Era: - Eclipse makes another AI named Lunar (think of it if Moon was actually a nice non-gremlin killing DCA) and he stealth ninja star usbs Lunar into Moon's body. - Sun and Moon are unaware of them for awhile, until they eventually make themselves known and take over Sun and Moon's body (The Sun and Moon show temporarily becomes the Eclipse and Lunar show where the two alternates play video games instead. Very amusing to watch). - Eclipse tortures Sun and Moon a lot while he tries to get the Newton Star (a device that Moon created that can wipe out all AI's memories in a certain vacinity) - Eclipse is an asshole to Lunar and eventually Lunar decides to help Sun and Moon out instead, officially becoming a 'brother' to them. - This part I don't know much about but somewhere along the line-- Moon learns magic and Sun, Moon, and Lunar were able to defeat Eclipse and leave him to rot in a forest. Bloodmoon Era: - Things are pretty chill. Sun, Moon, and Lunar become closer. Monty is a thing. He's a good freind. Lunar and Sun take care of the daycare (they now have a full daycare they work and live in) and Moon is busy looking for and destroying Eclipse's backups. - Bloodmoon becomes a thing. Idk how. Idk why. But he's here and he's out for your blood (I think Eclipse had created him at some point) - Bloodmoon is two AIs in one body and all they crave is blood and violence - Sun, Moon and Lunar visit different AUs, one of them being if Eclipse had won (also known as the SAMSwarAU which is an AU that slowly getting popular if you ever see it-- thats what that is) - Eclipse has a backup in Bloodmoon and the two(three?) start working together to get back at Sun, Moon, and Lunar Kill Code Era (current Era): - Sun breaks Moon's computer and Moon's Kill Code gets reactivated (all orchestrated by Eclipse) - Monty enter's Moon's head to save Lunar and Moon's Kill Code becomes an official character named Kill Code (or KC) - Bloodmoon and Eclipse try and get KC on their side (though Bloodmoon and KC just end up making a deal instead), Monty saves Lunar, and Sun is just trying his best - KC and Moon make a deal. KC will leave Sun, Lunar, and Monty alone, help Moon take control over Bloodmoon and Eclipse, if they can work together to kill their creator. Moon accepts the deal so he can get his body back. (oh ya-- their creator is appearntly an asshole but idk much about him) And now you're all caught up. Thank you for coming to my spark notes edition of the SAMS lore. There is a lot of small details I left out and I'm sure there are some things I've gotten wrong or just didn't know even happened but this is my own understanding of it, coming into the community late. Hope this helps!

[swtki]

Dancing Days - Edward Cullen x Reader Smut

Anonymous said: 19&24 on edward smut? love ur writing!

A/N: Thank you so much :) also I’m so happy everyone is h*rny for Eddy. I decided I want to explore more period times with Edward, changing his persona in a certain decade, but still ultimately being in the same universe as cannon. This will play into the readers character a tad bit.

WARNINGS: 18+ CONTENT, SWEARING, S*X, VAMPIRES, ORAL SEX (MALE RECIEVING), VIRGIN! EDWARD, NON VIRGIN READER, GENDER NEUTURAL READER, MENTIONS OF WAR AND DEATH. 

19: “Fuck me like you want people to know”.

24. “Thing is, I’m a virgin”. 

_______________________________________

I brushed my hair into its usual part, making sure I looked flawless. The year was 1976, I was a senior in Highschool. It was a wonderful time to be a teenager, no longer afraid that my friends would die in Vietnam. Even in my dinky little Washington town, the culture was becoming our own. 

The Led Zeppelin record playing on my record player stopped suddenly, alerting me that I was no longer alone in my room. I turned, my expression soft as I saw my boyfriend, Edward.

“Whats up with you and this album? Everytime I come in, its always House of Th Holy on repeat.” I rolled my eyes, lifted the record in question off of the tray, and put it back snuggly in its case. 

“I can’t help it, Ed. Robert just speaks to me. I’m sure you’re like that with Louis Armstrong.” I waved my hand, walking back to my mirror to finish getting ready. 

“Maybe, but the music you listen to it’s...” Edward paused for a moment, sitting on my bed. “It’s suggestive, Y/N.” I turned to him, my eyebrow raised.

“Suggestive? What’s that supposed to mean?” I placed my hands on my hips, and waited for him to explain.

“Well, for one that one song says ‘Sipping booze’, I quite think that is blatant alcohol reference.” I looked at him, dumbfounded. Then, I started to laugh, and I walked over to him. Instinctually, he pushed his head into my chest, enjoying the comfort it brought him. 

“I love you, but god are we from two different Mars.” He chuckled, sending a rumble through my chest.

At school, I was an average kid. Fair grades, many friends, many ex friends. When Edward was paired up with me in math, I got through his cold, stone skin. At first, he was annoyed when I would fuck off, leaving him to do the work himself. Understandable, and once I realized how rude I was, I stopped. I talked to him, prodded him truthfully. I would ask him once we started dating if he had noticed me previously, because I had never noticed him. 

“Yes, I noticed that you were the only one who didn’t acknowledge me. Ironic I guess.” 

A year into our relationship, I would never let him go unnoticed. We walked the halls, hand in hand. Our outlooks were so different when it came to life. He was modest, I was free spirited. Edward was different from my boyfriends previously, I didn’t want to fuck things up, and I refused to even risk it. 

School went slowly that day, possibly because my head was focused on what I would ask Edward, my boyfriend of one year, about sex. About us and sex. 

I hadn’t told him that I wasn’t a virgin, I was worried he would only want a virgin girl, after all they can never look at you disappointed and say “I’ve had better.” A definite plus. Many a nights I tried to imagine him, moaning completely under my control. I wanted him, but I didn’t know if he wanted me. Surely in 50 years he had found a good fuck. I worried that he would be into someone else, forever tied to a vampiress. 

The end of the school day couldn’t have come sooner, my anxiety rising as I got into Edwards car, starting a long silent car ride. I tried to keep my mind off of it, an attempt to avoid the conversation until we were at my house. I kept my mind busy with the lush scenery outside of the passenger side window. 

“So... I know you want to ask me, and I know the answers to what I would ask you.” He said blatantly, putting the car in park outside my front lawn. 

“I don’t wanna talk out here Ed, lets go inside.” I swung my bag onto my shoulder. Thats the thing with Edward, I never have to say anything, just as long as I think it. 

My house was empty, making it easy for Edward to follow me upstairs to my room. I shut my door behind us, then turned to him. Unsure of what to say, I breathed in deeply.

“How long have you known that I wasn’t...you know?” He smiled, sitting on my plush navy sheets. 

“Y/N, I knew before I met you what I was getting into. Your ex had a lot of thoughts about that one night where you guys-” 

“Oh my god okay ew.” A blush rose upon my face, and I saw Edward laugh as he watched my body fill with embarassment. “Well why didn’t you say something?” I asked.

“I figured if it needed to be brought up, it would be. You and I aren’t exactly a physical couple so I didn’t worry too much.” I walked over to my bed, taking a seat next to him.

“I see...I mean it wouldn’t be a big deal for me so if you want to...” I bit my lip at him, his gaze turned to the other direction.

“Thing is, I’m a virgin.” My expression went from a seductive look, to a puzzled one. I wondered if I had heard him correctly. “I’m old school, Y/N. It wasn’t like how it is now when I was human. People didn’t just have sex in highschool, unless they were married because the man was off to war. So, it hasn’t been on the menu for me. You’re the first girl I’ve dated in fifty years, you know. And no, there was no vampiress or anything.” I smiled.

“Well, I don’t wanna scare you or push it or anything. It’s just you know-” 

“You want to touch me, to be touched by me.” his eyes trailed back to mine, looking deep into my soul.

“Yes, I want you, Edward.” I pressed my lips to his, pulling away jut as it got intense. I could feel his disappointment. “I want to...but I can’t let you down. Tomorrow night. I’ll call you and we can talk about everything we want out of it, I’ll give you a fucking fairytale, my love” I chuckled.

I called him that night as I had said I would. We talked about my first time, and everything I liked, followed by what he had seen on video, what he wanted to try, and his fears.

“I don’t want to kill you, darling.” He said.

“Then don’t. I won’t let you.” He laughed at me, enjoying my lack of seriousness.

The next night rolled along with a quick pace. I looked at the clock and saw that it was time for me to start getting ready. 

I made myself look simple, a small bit of makeup and hair product, but otherwise just a tank top and jeans. Sometimes, dating an old fashioned guy was a pain in the ass. Always complaining about suggestive behavior. But other times, my shoulders counted as being half nude.

“You look stunning, as per usual.” Edward said, stepping into my room. He was tense and barely moved. “I don’t know what to do..what usually happens with it if I’m not the one doing everything.”

If he had any blood flow, he would have been blushing right about then.

“We don’t have to do anything you know. We can just lay down and watch a movie if you want to, I just want to make you happy, Edward.” I walked over to him and put a strand of his messy auburn hair behind his ear. Without hesitation, he pressed his forehead to mine.

“I want to, thats the part that’s been eating me away ever since I met you. I want to make you feel good, I just don’t know if I’ll lose it and-“ I cut him off with a kiss.

“Even if you break my pelvis into pieces, I’ll still be happy. I’m always happy when I’m with you.” we both smiled, and suddenly the thick tension that once filled the room vanished. “I’ll take care of you tonight, just as long as you’re doing it for you. I just need to know you’re doing this for you, and you need to be sure you wont roll over afterwards and hate me.” I said, my hand clasped in his marble one.

“I want you, Y/N. I have no doubts that I’ll want you afterwards, too.”

I pushed his head down, level to my own. Our kiss was deep, filled with a years worth of hunger. My hands tugged on his hair, making him whimper. Suddenly, I felt my feet lift off the ground as Edward carried me to my bed. With a soft thump, the plush sheets surrounded my body. It was a contrast of warmth on my back, and Edwards cool body on my top.

His hands were balled into fists, clutching my duvet as if his life depended on it. I pulled away, panting for air.

“Sorry, I forget you need air.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes in response.

“Well, its a shame you don’t. Because I intend on taking your breath away.” we both made small laughs at my remark.

“What now?” He looked at me for guidance.

“Get on your back.” I said.

We switched positions, he was now on the bottom. My legs straddled his torso, I sight he visably enjoyed. I slithered my hands up to his head, cupping his face as I kissed him again. My left hand left its post, reaching down to the buttons on his shirt.

I paused, looking up at him once I got to the last button.

“Does it...work like normal or...” He threw his head back and laughed.

“It doesn’t have spikes, I can assure you its just like a humans. But Emmet did tell me to pull out so...I’m kind of worried about the implications of that but-“ I leaned down to shut him up with a kiss.

His hands were still at his side, resting on the bed. I picked up his wrists, and placed them on the side of my thighs. He squeezed them lightly.

My hands roamed over his bare chest, cool to the touch. I lached my lips onto his neck, causing his back to arch below me. I could feel his excitement beneath me, it gave me a big self esteem boost. His hand reached along my waist, tugging at my shirt. His eyes lit up at the sight of my bare chest. He reached for me but I pulled away to slide down onto my knees.

He looked confused, like I had left him high and dry.

“Sit on the edge.” I said softly, my knees burning slightly due to the rough carpet underneath them.

He rid himself of the unbottoned shirt, slidding over to me once finished. My hands slowly stroked his thighs, he was desperate for some type of touch.

I smiled, tugging on his belt until it came undone. He stayed silent, looking at me like I was the only thing in the world. I unbottoned the trousers, tugging on them. He kicked them off and was left in his breifs.

“Is it okay if I..” I looked up at him and he nodded frantically. I palmed him over his underwear, feeling how hard he had gotten from kissing. My fingers latched onto the waist band, pulling them down to reveal a pale yet pink cock. It wasn’t too big, but deffinitley satisfactory. I ran my finger over the tip, earning a small groan from the vampire. My eyes trailed up to him, so I could see him when I took him in my mouth.

He let out a breathy moan, eyes focused on my mouth. His lips were parted ever so slightly. I bobbed my head, and grotesquely sexual sounds arose from my throat. I felt Edward move a strant of hair out of my face, he looked at me like I was a god.

“Fuck..Y/N if you keep doing that there wont be anything for you, dear” He said in a breathy moan. I pulled back, my mouth feeling sore and tired. “Do you still want to?” He asked, grasping his hands on my waist.

“Yes, I fucking need you.” I threw off my jeans, I would worry about finding them later, I needed him. He layed back down, propping his head up on my pillows. Our lips collided in another kiss as I leveled myself with him.

“Are you sure?” I ask him, stroking his hard member.

“I’m sure.” He pecked my lips again as I got ontop of his lean figure. I spat in my hand, lubing up my needy hole.

“How do you want me to do this? I mean like slow? What do-“ He said with genuine worry.

“Fuck me like you want people to know” I whispered, “ Fuck me like you want the entire neighborhood to know that I’m yours and yours only.”

“I can make that happen, love.” He flipped me over, now being back to where we first started. He lined up his cock with my hole, running it around the tight area. I put my fingers in his hair, making a slight tug as he pushed into my body.

Pleasure filled my body as he filled me up, his cock stretched my insides in the right ways. Without pausing, he started to push his hips into mine, making sure not to hurt me.

He reached down to suck on my neck, adding to the pornagraphic moans in the room. My hands travled to his back, scratching my nails down the cold stone like skin. His moans echoed in my ear.

“Y/N, I can’t be on top I’m going to crush you” I laughed at him, tapping his side so he fell onto the bed. I swung my legs over him, sitting on his perfect cock.

“Perfect, fucking amazing.” He said as I steady myself onto him. His face was in a euphoric expression, the most relaxed I had ever seen him.

I began to rock my hips, sliding him in and out of me. His hands grabbed onto my hips, guiding me. Everything was a euphoric experience. My gut filled with that wonderful sensation.

“Edward I’m gonna cum, oh my god” I moaned out, picking up my pace.

Suddenly, the world went still. My eyes went black and I saw stars as my orgasm washed over me. My moans echoed in the room as my body twitched. A few thrusts up into my body and Edward pulled out of me, rubbing his cum out onto his hand.

I layed there panting while he sped to the bathroom, and came back with a clean cloth, wiping down my body. He put the cloth down, pulling up his underwear and handing me mine. I slipped the fabric on, slipping under the covers.

“Get in here, I wanna kiss you”

He laughed, obeying and slipping beside me. Our lips reunited in a soft clash.

“I love you so much, dear.”

[actualbird]

Oh god!

I really love the poly headcanons they are so sweet.... (or don't but that's part of it and i think the tot boys+MC deserve all the love the world has to give).

But, liking it or not, our 4 beloved boys are kinda complicated (that's what makes them perfect). Plus I never thought about how people get in poly relationships. So i was thinking, how do you think they all get into a polyrelationship together?

(I really have no idea of how that would happen)

hi, two anons!! im glad you guys liked my nxx team polycule stuff!! i'll answer these in one go, my "headcanon" (in quotes because i think this kinda turned into a character analysis/minific of sorts HAHA) being what first anon asked, How They Get Together.

heads up, wc of this is 1.9k words long so buckle up for a bit of a read jfsjdfkjbf

because first anon, youre right!!! the boys are stupendously complicated which i love so so much but canon has also shown us clearly that each of the boys' quirks and habits and tendencies causes a lot of (mostly played for laughs) friction. the bickering, the backhanded insults, the "im the best one here" preening contests. theyre all SOOOO RIDICULOUS and it is hilarious but yep! the boys r complex!! and that means this beautiful ship, imo, has a lot of phases to get to the actual romantic relationship bit.

how they get together, in my opinion, starts because of mc.

not in the sense that she matchmakes them all, but like.

phase 1 of the nxx team polycule is this:

through being in love with her (which we all know the boys 100% are), each of the boys come to terms with their own flaws and weaknesses. it's very apparent to me in all the story thus far that these boys are flawed as hell, it's very compelling but even more compelling to me is how all of them also do intense mental gymnastics to Not Confront Those Flaws. like, marius is a dickbag always teasing and toeing the line of insincerity, vyn is a controlling mf who always tries to sway situations to his benefit, artem is so repressed to the point that he has genuine trouble with emotions, luke is a self sacrificial bastard and also a huge hypocrite about how no, actually, hes the only one that should be hiding his pain and being dishonest, no dishonesty from other people!! in the beginning of the story, all the boys have their flaws and seem to have just kinda...not addressed how those flaws are harming them and the people around them.

and then mc rolls around and they all fall in love with her. and she sees those flaws and she doesnt let them slide. she challenges the boys in her own ways to see another side of the situation, to acknowledge what theyre doing. she doesnt want to get rid of flaws, thats impossible and also not cool. she just has this beautiful hope for like, all of humanity, that goodness can prevail with the right work. so when she sees her beloved nxx boys, she believes that for them as well.

which leads to phase 2 of the nxx team polycule:

the boys, more aware of themselves, become more aware of each other.

they werent Unaware of the others of course. it's just that they didnt like...truly connect on a personal level just yet. they saw the other teammembers with their emotional armor and flaws and saw a wall that wasnt worth looking past.

but after mc makes them realize that hey, flaws arent the end of the world actually, it's alright and the person behind them may just be worth it, the boys like. end up understanding the others. A LOT OF THIS BIT IS UNINTENTIONAL, ON THEIR PARTS KJDSBFS. like they stumble into understanding each other by accident, they didnt plan it, but over the course of nxx investigations, it's inevitable that they end up seeing the depths of the others. i delve into this a little bit in my fanfic "filler eps of the lost gold" where the boys are just going thru their actions and then trip over another boy's fears or desires and through that, gain a deeper understanding mutually.

and with understanding, sometimes, comes trust.

phase 3 of the nxx team polycule goes like this:

everybody in this team, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, has a heart that wants to give love so desperately.

marius lives in a world full of snakes so he cant have his heart on his sleeve for his own protection. vyn wants to be seen as perfect and the heart is inherently messy so he holds it back. artem for a very very long time was focused on work and success and achievement that he neglected his heart. and luke has been giving love all his life in a sense but in a way thats hidden.

all these tendencies that are brought upon their life circumstances results in this: they want to love honestly but they havent been able to do this

until mc. and all of them want to push back whatever fears or patterns their life has instilled in them because they see her and see somebody so unwaveringly good that all their hearts begin giving love to her to make her happy and to make themselves happy as well.

but heres the thing. the boys dont just see mc. by this point, they have connected and understood and come to trust each other as well, and the consequence of that is that They Can See Each Other Now Too, Truly.

and heres the thing. all of the boys are unwaveringly good as well.

one by one, each of the boys realize that what they feel for the other boys in the team starts to...change. yeah theyre all friends, they pick on each other a lot of the time, but the bedrock of the relationship is solid and strong now. but when marius is with luke, marius sees a light inside of luke so bright that he seems unaware that he gives off. when artem is with vyn, artem sees a goodness inside of vyn that hesitates to make itself obvious and known because vyn is scared of getting hurt thanks to it. all of them see the other and their goodness and, unbidden, their hearts want to give love to each other as well.

and because theyre all a bit stupid in their own way theyre like, huh, weird! wonder why this feeling is so familiar! and yet i cant seem to name it...and then they all independently compare these feeling with the feelings they have for mc, a feeling they do know the name of, and theyre like.

WAIT.

THESE FEELINGS ARE...VERY BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL FOR MC.

which only means one thing: theyve fallen in love with everybody else

marius: //goes to his studio to Think and sees that a bunch of his recent art actually had little crumbs of these feelings already, etched into the brushstrokes and scenes. has an emotional crisis about it

vyn: //records a 1 hour long entry in his audio diary to examine and gain control of his feelings but by the end of the hour all he knows is that he wants to hold these people and be held by them

artem: //quite literally just bluescreens, artem.exe has stopped working, sits at his study and slowly, slowly, thunks his head down onto his desk, valiantly trying to ignore the fast pulse of his heart

luke: //manically vents about it to peanut who, by virtue of being a bird, doesnt get it. just keeps talking at peanut to get a grasp of it all and then lies down on the floor, overwhelmed

mc, sitting in her apartment watching some netflix: ...why do i inexplicably feel as if something very, very important has just happened?

phase 4 of the nxx team polycule is basically:

pining: extreme difficulty level

because pining is already hard when ur pining for one person. what more for an additional 3 more people. and those additional 3 more people are pining back.

and all these boys are SOOOO OBVIOUS with their romantic feelings, in their own special way. the way they show their affection to mc starts to bleed into their interactions with the others and everybody can CLEARLY SEE WHAT IS GOING ON, LOL, but also all the boys are too chickenshit to confront it, because if they confront it, what will even happen??? being in love with each other, all of them, thats going to be such a complicated fucking relationship, holy shit. it's 2030, yeah, being a polyamorous group relationship isnt completely unheard of, but sue them, theyre scared.

but mc (who i forgot to mention already knows of the boys' romantic feelings for her, shes just hasnt made a move yet on any of them because SHES IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM AS WELL and shes been trying to figure out how the hell to make that work, she cant bear to choose just one of them, she'd be heartbroken over leaving the rest of them behind) sees that the nxx investigation team is now all pining for each other FULLY and she kinda wants to laugh when she realizes whats going on because like, what are the chances? that this would happen? that they all found each other and their feelings fell into just the right place for nobody to be left behind?

theyre all scared, she can tell. and she is as well, she wont lie.

but shes always had a belief that goodness can prevail with the right work.

and love is one of the greatest goods out there.

phase 5 of the nxx team polycule:

It's Time For Communication, Baby!!!!!

the exact scenes of how this happens is a bit vague to me. it could go two ways: mc going to each of the boys independently to talk about feelings, hers about everybodys and his about everybodys as well. OR they have a fucking meeting about it all together and artem literally schedules it in his google calendar, or something.

either way, they like, actually talk about this. starts casual, maybe over a chill date, maybe over dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe over a walk in the park as the sun is starting to set. but where ever it happens, the end result is the same: a heart is laid out bare and it is taken in gentle, grateful hands.

marius: OKAY, NOW THAT THE FEELINGS ARE OUT OF THE WAY, CAN I PLEASE KISS ONE OR ALL OF YOU, PLEASE, IVE BEEN WANTING TO KISS U GUYS FOR FOREVER

vyn, laughing fondly: has anybody ever told you patience is a virtue? we quite literally just talked it all out.

marius: //needy whining noises

artem, embarrassed: ive...never kissed anybody before

luke, embarrassed but trying to play it Cool: ....same here

mc: kissing is great, you two will love it!

marius: awesome, awesome, so is ANYBODY going to give me a go ahead or WHAT????

phase 6 of the nxx team polycule:

i dont want to say it's happily ever after, once they all get together. thats not really realistic.

they all have their quirks and tendencies and habits. and those will inevitable clash against each other. theyll have their arguments, theyll get upset, theyll sulk and be angry, sometimes. but also...

theyll see each other smile and feel like their love shining so brightly. theyll reach out for another's hand and be held in such a way that makes them think that their heart is in a safe place. theyll love each other and theyll put in the work to continue loving each other. because goodness will prevail.

and they all see each other as the most good people in the world.

so whatever happens, theyll get through it together.

[spearxwind]

i’m begging you. please tell me what happens in the nine realms i literally will die if i have to watch it myself it will reach out of the screen and kill me

My god. where do I even start. Buckle up! We’re going on a legendary rant!!

First off... the series opens with a shot of the earth getting hit by a MOTHERFUCKING METEOR. Apparently that is the sole cause of the giant fissure that opens up and where the story takes place in

By the way, take a shot every time they say fissure (alcohol coma guaranteed <3)

So the gist of it is that this fissure opened up, because of the meteor, and some capitalist company invested ONE BILLION MONEYS into making a research center there (we're never told what they even research at all. "project icarus" gets mentioned once. they just happen to have like... LOADS of drones???), so all the researchers that work in that station move there with their children and live in the domes.

Btw the main character has hiccups helmet in his moving boxes for some reason? and the inside of his house is filled with viking shields and mjolnir/celtic tapestry looking things

anyway uh. in the first episode has someone send a drone flying into the fissure from the structure that overlooks he abyss, but fucks it up and the drone flies up into the structure, explodes like it was loaded with dynamite, and the structure starts collapsing. A woman who was there controlling a drone almost fucking dies by falling in. They added no sound effects to the scene also it was just. quiet. 

And the protagonist sees the dragon i guess, and becomes obsessed with finding out wtf it is 

so like. he climbs down into the fucking fissure, DUDE JUST GRIPPING ONTO SHEER ROCK LIKE A GECKO?? Finds the dragon, dragon kidnaps him, whatever. The dragon, thunder, the dude to a cave where they literally copypaste the forbidden friendship scene from httyd1 LITERALLY BEAT BY BEAT, BUT SPED UP, AND WITHOUT SOUNDTRACK 

(the soundtrack for this whole thing blows asshole too its so bad)

instead of feeding him fish he ends up feeding him........ frozen fish nuggets. but not before hes literally brought down every food item ever and thunder just keeps slapping them out of his hands?? also at one point he eats spaghetti and then projectile vomits the pasta on the protagonist.

oh yeah, “funny dragon burp/vomit joke” gets used like, 5 times. its bad. Also at the end of the episode they just straight up find “the hidden world” (its just a big cave filled with crystals i guess) 

the next episodes are honestly a blur, the asian girl/dragon duo gets even worse, here’s a screencap of me talking about it to my friends 

oh yeah, not mentioned here is how she goes on and on about ‘the legends of majestic dragons my uncle told me about’ and demanding the dragon listen to her (which it doesnt) until she realizes that doesnt work and its like aww... you dont wanna be controlled 🥺i understand you now

anyway uh. the show has six episodes. the first one is the world building setting etc. The next four are how each of the kids befriends their own dragon (all of them are extremely stupid). They explain the tech girls sad backstory and why she refuses to go outside.. is cause a dog bit her once. yep!! yep. 

They just straight up mention quetzacoatl by name when referring to the feathery dragon too (and the girl who tames him is latina too <3 the laziness is actually lethal) Her moms are lesbians tho so thats nice. Diversity win! The dogshit dreamworks show has an actual proper lesbian couple!

Theres a rly fucking funny bit in the episode where the black kid gets his gem dragon where they heal her from a grievous injury (itty bitty crystal shard stuck in her exoskeleton, was making her unable to fly or move properly ????????) where once shes healed they give her some space and more beetle dragons get close to her, the asian girl goes “awww they recognize her!!” and the other dragons immediately start beating the shit out of the other one LKKLSFKJLHDFKLHDF JUST LIKE THAT NO BUILDUP OR ANYTHING

There is also a reference to fight club (YES, REALLY) and it is literally word by word “the first rule of dragon club is you dont tell anyone about dragon club” 

Anyway, the shenanigans go on... awfully long. For five episodes straight. And then we get to the very very last one, the climatic fight!! 

Turns out all the earthquakes that had happened across the episodes were made by a big fucking dragon that just like, flies in a corkscrew and burrows into walls. The people at the project icarus building have no fucking clue what it is but theyre like “we have detected the epicenter of an earthquake that just moves along the cliff wall. They call in a cool lesbian to intimidate the protagonists mom (who is the lead researcher) or something??  And the mom is like “ok hear me out i have an idea. what if we just send a probe down to where the earthquakes are happening, and blow it up with dynamite. that will make the quake stop” and she gets, rightfully, contested by the other guy like um. i feel like that will make us fall into the abyss faster

shes like no no dont worry, theres no caves right below where we are. the explosion will do nothing to our base. it might fuck up some of the caves around though (and suddenly everyone is on board with this plan. the plan also involves doing this from a fucking diving bell reeled down like a probe into the abyss and just shooting the dynamite into the hole like a missile) 

AND  THEN. I SHIT. YOU. NOT. THE KIDS GATHER AROUND.... and the protag is like. “we have to send the dragons off to the hidden world. we have to say goodbye” cause if they stay out theyll die or something i dont fucking know

so they get Thunder to lead the others to the hidden world and have this whole ass sad scene.................. and then. two minutes later. two. they see the big fucking dragon come out of the fissure, and they revoke their decisions and go back to fetch the dragons to help them fight. 

The big bad dragon is so ugly by the way..... its like if Malefor was the dragon from shrek. 0/10 

Anyway they end up beating its ass i guess, it falls into the lava or whatever, no one saw the dragons because everyone thought the probe plan worked (it didnt) and the show ends. 

Genuinely feels like you are being lobotomized in real time. Thank u for joining me on this, and godspeed.

[nejiraez]

one day, you all will know true peace when i stop making bakugou the default character to the maladaptive daydreamz i write. but until then...

get well soon! | bakugou katsuki

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader // 2.9k words

genre: fluff — contains spoilers from mha chap 298; includes kissing, thats it!

summary: free bakugou until it’s backwards!!! but until then, he appreciates having your presence around as he takes the time to properly heal.

the way i haven’t written a full fic since oct </3... but i needed to post this b4 aquarius season ends tmrrw...

He’s never had to stay this long in a hospital before.

Sure, there were minor check-ins that he had to tend to at the clinics every so often from the injuries he’s received, but he never had to stay more than a few days at hand.

“Only a couple more days until you’re discharged…” 

The sound of your voice prompts Bakugou to shift his gaze away from the TV screen stationed at the corner of his hospital room to focus his sights on you. Deep shades of scarlet watch as your hands absent-mindedly pick at the white petals from the bouquet that his mother had gifted him. 

Carnations, a ‘get well soon’ present that would prompt him back to wellness. They were becoming quite the eyesore. The stems were beginning to droop and dull in colour with how poorly maintained they had been kept for the past week.

“That must be exciting for you, yeah?”

Bakugou shrugs, but he’s quick to regret his slight movement due to the small wince that follows shortly after. Despite being placed in the hospital for a little over a week now, a great mass of Bakugou’s body still aches. “It’s whatever,” he mutters, dismissing the subject matter altogether, “I’ll be back to doing the same crap over again anyway, so it’s nothing special.”

Closing your eyes, you sink yourself further down into your seat near his bedside and sigh. The windows a few steps away from Bakugou’s left allow for the sun’s late afternoon glow to beam into his room. You’ve sat here with him for the past two hours and a half from when you first came.

“You’re so pessimistic, you know that?” You announce, resting your arms against the bed’s side rails, which promote access to you, propping your cheek onto your hands with your face turned towards Bakugou. “Always thinking so negatively.”

Choosing not to respond to your comment, Bakugou soaks in the brief silence shared within the confines of his room.

For the past few days, other than his immediate family, who was relentless about visiting him as much as they could- save for the days where work would pull them away- your regular visits were something that became apart of Bakugou’s daily schedule. 

Wake up. Eat whatever shitty food the kitchen staff has to offer for the day. Wait through numerous check-ups and appointments, while the nurses examine the vital state of his internal organs. And then, he has a bit of free time to himself before either you or any visitor arrives at Hosu General hospital.

“I’m just telling it as it is.”

Bakugou would be lying if he said that he didn’t look forward to your visits.

Like Pavlov’s law, he’s grown conditioned upon awaiting your arrival every day, always finding himself sitting a bit straighter in his bed whenever 15:00 rolled around on the clock. 

Growing bored with not much to do, Bakugou allows his eyes to wander the room, skimming each object with little to no thought before his eyes would drop down on your form once again. With your eyes still closed, Bakugou takes this chance to absorb your presence before him fully. Watching the tiny twitches that would happen every now and then on your face out of curiosity.

The amount of fear and dread that washed over you the moment you caught news of how Bakugou jumped in front of his childhood friend, Midoriya, to spare his life, in turn, putting his own on the line had you aching to the bone. 

You were scared and couldn’t bring yourself to the thought that you would lose him, and there wasn’t much that you could do about it since you and a few others were far from where the main fight had gone down.

Regardless of whether Bakugou had a chance of waking up or not, you were still adamant about swinging by his hospital room as often as you could until the second day where he miraculously woke up. And caused an uproar as he did. He had to be restrained as he tried to check up on the others’ wellbeing as he did so.

To be placed inside of a room alone, with no one around to tell him what the fuck exactly went on, Bakugou was on edge. Hands down, that day would take the cake as being the most overwhelming experience he has had at his time here. Where were was Deku, for starters? And where did you disappear off to? 

He really didn’t deserve you.

Pulling himself out from his thoughts, Bakugou breaks the silence to pester you with something. “Pass me that, will you?” He asks, nodding his head over to the sole snack that sat on his bedside table. Something that one of the nurses left behind for him after his physical exam.

You blink, snapping yourself back to reality. You crane your next behind you, following his line of sight to the bright Tarami packaging. “Sure,” you grab and toss it for him to take.

Bakugou grunts out his gratitude. “Getting to eat normal food again will be the pinnacle of my life,” he states, rolling the Tarami around in his hands. “They feed us nothing but literal dog water and bland shit. “

“I’m sure the staff is trying their best. You aren’t the only mouth they feed in here after all,” you say, referencing the fact that your other peers, such as Todoroki and Midoriya to name a few, found themselves in the same situation as he did. 

“I fuckin’ guess,” he mutters in response, his focus shifted onto trying to rip open his snack but to no avail.

“Want me to - ”

“Don’t need it,” he says, cutting your sentence short. His bandaged thumbs are still fumbling to get a good grip on the plastic seal that stood in the way between him and his fruit cup. “This stupid gauze is just - ” The cup tumbles out from his hold and rolls out onto his lap. “Dammit!”

You smile at the display in front of you. Bakugou glaring at the container as if it had crossed him wrong was quite the sight to see. The fact that he has shown no signs of making another attempt at opening the seal gave you an indication that it was your turn to step in.

What a dork.

“Jesus, Katsuki,” you say, shaking your head at his stubborn nature. You take the fruit cup off his lap and, without issue tear the seal off before passing it back to him. He was too headstrong for his own good sometimes. “Nobody’s gonna bite you if you ask for help once in a while.”

Bakugou scoffs - losing steam now, he tips the rim of the cup against his lips, knocking back as many diced peaches he could fit inside of his mouth.

A mix of wonder and admiration suddenly crosses you as you study how quick he is to swallow down his food. Not even bothering to make use of the silver spoon left astray on the stand.

Bakugou silently chews. His cheeks have bulked up in size for the time being until all traces of food have been gone. Cute. “You’re so - ” You start but cut yourself short, wanting to enjoy the serene atmosphere rather than spurring him to the edge towards nagging at you.

You reach your hand out towards Bakugou, thumb grazing the corner of his mouth to clean the small mess he has made, to which he gently swats your hand away. His mannerisms were still the same as ever, never changing.

“I’m so what?” He asks, flicking his attention onto you as he watches the way your eyes linger on his face.

“You’re so amazing, was what I was going to say.” 

“Damn straight.”

You half-heartedly roll your eyes at his narcissistic response and reach for your phone, checking the time. “Wow, it’s now getting to 18:00?” You exclaim, swiftly entering the passcode to your iPhone and so that your fingers could scroll to the Tokyo Train Navigation app to check the times of when you should catch the next ride home.

Bakugou brows bump together in confusion at your surprise. “What about it? That means you’re ditching me already?” 

“Only for today though, the next train is coming in 30 minutes, and I gotta catch it before it gets dark out.”

As much as Bakugou isn’t a big fan of having your time spent together but abruptly short, he understands where you’re coming from, mentally putting himself in your shoes. 

At hours like these, when the begins to sun hide behind the city’s tall, towering buildings, it isn’t an ideal situation to have you walking out alone in the middle of dimly lit streets where villains may lurk at any corner. Especially after the shit show that went down this past week with the jailbreak.

He’d have no problem walking you home at times like this, but he can’t. Not when he’s on a “house arrest” list with the staff of the hospital.

“Fine,” he replies, dropping his head into his hands, which then finds purchase through his hair. Pissed with the cards he’s been dealt with. Feeling like he should clarify about your safety, Bakugou pipes up, “Make sure you ask the front desk to have one of their idiot guards walk you to the station. I hear that they do that.”

“Yeah, of course,” you say, collecting your belongings from the ground. “Not trying to be edited in with the clouds.” A remark that was supposed to prompt a lighthearted, humorous feel to the conversation, but Bakugou remains tight-lipped as ever. A fitting expression for your grouch of a boyfriend.

“I’m serious. Text me when you get home too.”

“And so am I! I love my life.”

And he loves you-- was something that Bakugou refrains himself from saying. It was something that he still had trouble saying verbally but had no difficulty expressing.

You walk towards the door, ready to bid your counterpart a farewell, but he beats you to the punch.

“The hell are you doing?” Bakugou’s voice halts you from making your grand exit.

He stares at you sharply from his bed. Glowering with jaw taut as he eyes your hand placed onto the sliding door. “Cut that shit out, come back.”

“For why?”

You hear Bakugou breathe out a hushed hiss, becoming peeved at how evasive you were when he knew for a fact that you were aware of what he wanted you to do for him. “Come and do the thing.”

At his sudden inquiry, you finally turn around to face him. “What thing?” You prod, wanting to hear him say what he wanted out loud. To be straightforward with you for once rather than dancing around the topic like he always does.

Sidestepping the multiple wires and the IV tube that he was hooked up to, at last, you close the distance between you both. Finding yourself back beside Bakugou’s bed, and now settle yourself down onto the small space that he has created for you on his mattress. 

You feel giddy. A hazy warmth exudes from your chest that spreads down to your toes as you watch the slow change of pigmentation in Bakugou’s face. Blotches of a soft, rosy pink littered his exposed neck, indicating the effect that had over him.

Caving in, Bakugou swallows down his pride and utters, “Kiss me…” His tone is wavering in the slightest.

There it was.

Propping your hand near Bakugou’s face to steady yourself, you nod. You’re gentle in the process as you move much closer to Bakugou, attentive as not to brush up against any of his wounds. “Okay,” you murmur. 

You think to yourself about how pretty looks from your point of view. Admiring how Bakugou's plush and soft skin was despite the light bruises and scratches he’s gained from the fight, he looked very well-maintained for a hospital patient.

The more time that you take, you become aware of the fact that Bakugou isn’t above taking a fistful of your shirt and tugging you down so that you could meet his lips. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise you if he were to do so right now.

But he doesn’t. 

Instead, he waits. Patiently, for you to make your move and just fucking kiss him already. Though there’s only so much he can take before he breaks.

Feeling the bed dip beside him, Bakugou could damn near feel his heart hammering against his chest. “Hurry up and get on with it will you,” he chides, his striking features already beginning to twist into an unreadable expression.

You laugh, unable to bite back your giggles as the male fixed you with his signature scowl. “Look at you, being a bully to the person you want a kiss from...” You say, leaning in close, now only hovering a few mere centimetres from his lips, both of you desperate for what would come next.

“You’re so mean, I swear.”

And that’s when you decide to close the distance, pressing your lips together.

It was quite sweet, literally, for his lips tasted of citrus.

Bakugou does a poor job at suppressing down his groan the moment your fingers wind themselves into his hair. The pads of your fingertips adoringly dance across his scalp.

The kiss starts off relatively chaste, both of you relishing in each other’s warmth as you pepper several small kisses against him—your stomach ties into knots as you experience how gentle he was being with you.

Despite the dull aching pains that Bakugou could still perceive whenever he made broad movements with his arm, his hand steadily finds its way to reach up towards your neck, pressing you further against him to deepen the kiss, swiping his tongue upon your lower lip. 

When your tongue comes into contact with his, it’s tentative and quick. And then it happens a few more times before fully feel comfortable enough to full-on kiss Bakugou.

Your thought process was growing muddled. Not a clear premise came to mind as his bandaged hand trails to the small of your back and back up again.

With every sound or hum of approval that you made way past your lips, it fed Bakugou’s desire to satisfy both you and his needs even. His thumb smooths over the curve of your jaw, easing your nerves each time you shyly pull away attributable to the great intimacy that swirled between you both.

He chases your lips, fervent on returning your energy that you were relaying to him, back tenfold. He loves you. So fucking much, and he only hopes that his appreciation and devotion may reach you.

You choke on a tiny gasp. “Katsuki - ” And that’s when he feels it, right in his chest. It’s as if he has been jump-started back to life, his heart quite literally skipping a beat at the sound of his name tumbling past your lips. It was adorable, and he wanted to hear you like that again. Say his name like that again, on loop without end.

Fuck.

With adrenaline coursing through your veins, your breathing was starting to grow laboured now, and you decide to break the kiss before things can escalate and before you miss your train.

Pulling away from Bakugou, the traces of confidence that you once had prior to the kiss have all but flung itself out the window, completely gone now. “I’ll, uhm -” You stammer over your words, brain trying to compose a proper sentence in spite of your current dazed state. “I’ll be back to see you again, with the others.”

With how flustered and scatterbrained you were acting, it stroked Bakugou’s ego beyond belief. A wicked smile threatens to split upon his face, but he bites it down along with his greed to ask for one more kiss before you go. “Tomorrow,” he affirms, flicking his eyes back towards the TV—an entirely new show publicized on its screen.

You hoist yourself up from the bed and stand to your feet, ignoring how your knees almost buckle. “Right,” you say. No fucking way were you this beat up over making out with your own boyfriend, for crying out loud- you thought as you wander towards the door, almost taking out one of the monitors in your trail. 

Sliding the door open you step out, but you poke your head back in, stalling a bit so that you could look at the blonde for the last time that day. “But until then, get well soon, okay?” 

Bakugou’s eyes stay glued to the screen, trying to distract himself from how damn sweaty his palms were, that or how he could feel the beat of his heart pick up in tempo. Its incessant pounding was all too much for him.

It’s so stupid how whipped he found himself to be nowadays. “I know,” he dismisses, a bit all too quickly. He wants your ass out before you have a chance to glance at the heart monitor he was wired up to.

Fortunately enough for him, you don’t. You wave and close the door behind you, your smile being the last thing he sees.

With the coast clear, Bakugou throws himself back onto his mountain of pillows. “Shit,” he curses, panting out a sigh of relief seconds after you were gone.

That was amazing, you were amazing, he thought, recounting the kiss. He swipes his palms against his sheets, being sure to get rid of any nitroglycerin that may linger to activate his quirk successfully.

Bakugou can’t stress how much he’s aching for nightfall to come, knowing that he would be one sleep from getting to see you again, and again, and again, until he would finally be let free.

But until then, as you had said, he had to heal.

And with the knowledge of you being around whenever he needed you the most, Bakugou was most definitely on the bright path to a speedy recovery.