#you dont. you dont wnat to know.
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Hm
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Hmmm.
#you dont. you dont wnat to know.#theres a new fandom in there (new to me... old. old show) and you dont want to know what it is. yet. probably ever but one day i'll say fuc#it. fuck everything! and add them all to the queue#i have so many thoughts. and i hate that i have them.#ftr its an american animated adult comedy so. thats. yeah. theyre not. known for their nuance and quality and lack of horrendous bullshit#i dont like Everything about it (really ive only liked abt 60% of what ive seen. maybe 50%. and ive hated a good 10% at least. maybe upward#of 20%. so. yeah)#but i find enough of it fascinating for the brainrot to set in#i didnt like riverdale. look at my blog. i dont have to like something to be abornal about it#i just have to get all [ominous writer tone of voice] about it.#in my defense i have a creative writing degree#jelajxkejfoqjco#anyway. expect. just the worst possible brainrot at some point soon. would not be surprised if people unfolloe me for this one tbh#at least i tag extensively so theres always the option of filtering it out?
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hey you should put an alt account on your old url if you're having doubts cause someone might take it
i dont think anyone would be interested in that LOL plus tumblr holds onto your previous url for 24hours. but than you for the warning!
#if someone does then. Why? I am not popular or anything. why would you want to do that. i odnt know#If someone does wnat to do that: Dont? lol#though that probably doent work bc people with malicious intentions dont care but might as well say that#thunder roars#quastion for the beast
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see its the same issue i have with genloss and horror. and not to bring up genloss again and get a wave of people blocking me for it. but like. its the same issue! i understand that dsmp was a lot of peoples first fandom experience and naturally this will bleed through into the tangentially related medias. but like. its SO painfully obvious a lot of people have just. Never Actually Experienced any better movies/shows/books. and its really sad! bc theres so many awesome things out there and its just upsetting to see people place these mediocre 20-somethings men on pedestals expecting perfection from them because they will ALWAYS be disappointed. genuinely in the nicest possible way i can say this. some of you just need to go read a book written by a woman. or watch an ap show run by queer folks. go listen to spirits or pale blue pod who are run by really smart really funny professional women. go read the murderbot diaries which explores identity in a way i have genuinely never experienced before in a piece of fiction and includes crazy awesome sci-fi action and environments and also uses neopronouns in a way that is so nonchalant and casual that i didnt even notice them at first. if youre set on youtubers/streamers. go watch holly hollowtones or penny snapcube who are extremely funny and talented and creative trans women and have equally as funny and creative friend groups. like. theres so many better things out there.
#also im just tired of people being weird about boys in skirts because that is exactly the kind of mentality that#prevents me (boy) from wearing a piece of clothing i really enjoy because it reinforces the fact that people will always see me as a girl#no matter what#so its like that . reflection meme. you know the one. guy you dont like who will never see/care vs person you care about who now knows you#wnat them dead. or whaever.#dsmp-adjacent fanspaces get normal about queer people who dont fit in neat boxes now or im GOING to start chasing you with an axe#anyway. getting off tumblr now im gonna go sit in the bath and read more worm.
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okay so I've known/thought I was a lesbian for the longest time now and I'm 100% sure of my attraction for women but late at night I sometimes start to wonder whether I could feel attraction towards men as well 😩😬
#just the what if of it all....#i kinda don't want to date men tho and when my head's clear I feel weird about the idea but#idk will I have these doubts forever?#it would also be so much easier you know#in terms of acceptance etc#but??? can i see myself w a man? not rlly cz I feel like im not 'girly' enough#whatever that means#i know i dont have to be for men to be attracted to me#but i feel like i exude a kind of energy that intimidates men???#I DONT EVEN WNAT THEM TO BE ATTRACTED TO MEEE#but i also have rlly low self esteem so maybe thats why i kdhkahzjaudhak idk...#im rambling#nonsense#does it even matter when i self isolate and literally avoid any deep connection 💅🏼💅🏼
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this is a legitimate cry for help
#mashup#audio#loud#fuck you#im so fucking tired i dont know whty i made this#mashupper has an actual mental breakdown and insteadof dealing with it like a normal person mixes together as many of their hated and favor#te songs together instead of getting actual fucking sleep so you can be a functioning human being later im going to actually fucking kill m#self#i just wnat to fucking finish this god damn coding project but every time i sit down i want to blast my brains out#so i just wanted some kind of fucking noise in the background but then it became this#i just wanted something to fucking drown this out#the fucking five million things going on in my brain i want it to just shut the fuck up i don't nknow why i mgoin thi im going to sleep#vent#me audio#im not gonna bother compressing or putting a limiter on this i am just this fucking done#i amd fucking DONE I AM DONE
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putting a dastardly disgusting addition to my intro post to clear anything up 😐 its a hard economy out here
#i have reasons for not listing my exact age and i will not be doing thatand if you dont fw that that is OKAY just politely block pleas 🩷#if it wasnt already obvious from who i into woth and how disgusting i am. i am rpf and i am not a fetus LMAO#im childish and purposefully infantilize myself and wnat to be nice to people.and im very retarded. i am aslso disgustig 🩷🩷🩷#tw i use SLURS (that i can duh) and i do HORRIBLE DASTARDLY BUSINESS#idk why im yapping so hard but i keep bein reminded of it and im like man i guess i gotta put it in the intro post huh#but i have serious reasons about the whole nonspecific thing#and no im not telling you pink heart emoji#not oneyplays#yapfest#if you are in a seveer woth me you know myage if i perosnally know you you probably know how old i am#were just like one skded followih or rarely/dont dm im not handing my shit out
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documentary creators will see g exhibiting the most eating disorder behaviors of all time and be like "is anyone gonna film that with no explicit external commentary, at once demonstrating its apparent mundanity as a well-known aspect of g's psyche and also emphasizing it as not only a deviation from the norm but also a deviation from other cyclists?" and then air it on the bbc
#tw ed#?#i watched the g docu last night and i was like HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#mostly i just found the film making interesting to be honest LOL like i rly couldnt tell. What they were doing. i think because of my terri#le media literacy. bc it wasnt like it was a surprise that he acts that way because its kind of obvious if you watch him for any amount of#time but the framing was just weird ???? like it felt purposeful to include all of that but it also just felt so stark lol#maybe because it wasnt trying to be that serious otherwise ? i dont know#anyone here wnat to perform literary analysis on geraint thomas the road will decide (TV Movie 2019)
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when i realized that i am the same age and caleb and adam, and was therefore a senior in high school during the safehouse ep just like them, and was posting about cheerleading tryouts a few days before they had their worlds completely flipped upside down
thanks @anthonyjlockwood for pointing that out lol
#listen safehouse is my favorite episdoe ok#you dont wnat to know how many times ive listened to this thing#tbs#the bright sessions
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do u think masc tank would've gotten sm1 pregnant in their teen years LMFAO
Honestly,,, it depends (but very maybe)
I've got 2 fills for m!Darlin' and Lonnie? Absolutely not. Never. Man never even held hands with any sort of intention other than 'follow me' in his teen years.
But Cameron? Absolutely. Maybe even several. He caused problems entirely on purpose. Problem child.
#tw pregnancy#tw teen pregnancy#if you want tags added/think they sjould be here please tell me#pregnancy mention#idk i wanna answer questions and interact but i also know a lot of people dont like these topics#so I'm not gonna put charcater and fandom tags but if you wnat any others please tell me ill put them in
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uggh my dad’s making me do stuff i dont wanna do😒😒😒 i dont wanna meet my friends today i wanna be at home and wear pajamas is that really so much to ask😔
#im nit just sitting around doing nothing#i watched a series#and im doing stuff on m y phone#ughhhhhh#i dont wanna go out#and i osnt wnat guests#im sick of people🙄#and that includes my friends im sorry#doesnt he get sick of ppl??? tf#ugggggghhhhg#i Know i dont Do Stuff dad you dont have to tell me that#i dont want to#fine i guess i’ll adk if they wanna come over🙄#but im not even gonna have fun doign stuff so whats the point in doing that stuff#i Want to be Alone#cant he get that#‘youre gonna regret it when ur old’ yeah well im not old rn can we wait until i am#ill deal woth the consequences later i dont want them now#complaingin#also my hair isnt washed#and i wanna wear pajamas
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being blocked by someone is whatever like i don't really care at the end of the day but what sucks is finding out someone's blocked me by trying to rb a post of theirs and it doesn't work so i try and rb it again (doesn't work) and i try and rb a post from somebody else and that does work, so at that point im just wow ok this person i don't like anyway has me blocked whatever. but tumblr, who said Something went wrong! Try again in a few minutes., will keep trying to rb the post and i'll get the Post Failed notification over and over until finally I get the one with the option to discard the rb and the whole time i can just feel them laughing at me, it's laughing, like i need to have the fact that this random person has blocked me rubbed into my face repeatedly for 10 minutes. like whose idea was that
#it's so stupid i think if someoene blocks you it should erase them from your entire tmblr experience entirely you never ever have to see the#m ever. and vice versa if i block someone i dont wnat to see them ever!!!#and also arguably the funniest thing is when someone has you blocked and you know they have you blocked but you see them in your notifs#like alllll the time like girl IF YOU HAVE ME BLOCKED WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WHY ARE YOU RBING ALL MY POSTS !!!!#im normal and let people enjoy things tho so idc i don't sb or hb or anything but like . come on dude
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I would like to add drawing is a skill and it takes a while to get to a place your even close to happy with. And you never stop growing as a artist and getting better.
So many people throw in the towel cause it looks like shit at the beginning. Yeah it's going to. Keep at it if you want to actually learn. Sometimes it takes longer and more work then others but everyone has to work at it. And it does take time and practice. And actually trying to get better.
Can't afford art school?
After seeing post like this 👇
And this gem 👇
As well as countless of others from the AI generator community. Just talking about how "inaccessible art" is, I decided why not show how wrong these guys are while also helping anyone who actually wants to learn.
Here is the first one ART TEACHERS! There are plenty online and in places like youtube.
📺Here is my list:
Proko (Free)
Marc Brunet (Free but he does have other classes for a cheap price. Use to work for Blizzard)
Aaron Rutten (free)
BoroCG (free)
Jesse J. Jones (free, talks about animating)
Jesus Conde (free)
Mohammed Agbadi (free, he gives some advice in some videos and talks about art)
Ross Draws (free, he does have other classes for a good price)
SamDoesArts (free, gives good advice and critiques)
Drawfee Show (free, they do give some good advice and great inspiration)
The Art of Aaron Blaise ( useful tips for digital art and animation. Was an animator for Disney)
Bobby Chiu ( useful tips and interviews with artist who are in the industry or making a living as artist)
Second part BOOKS, I have collected some books that have helped me and might help others.
📚Here is my list:
The "how to draw manga" series produced by Graphic-sha. These are for manga artist but they give great advice and information.
"Creating characters with personality" by Tom Bancroft. A great book that can help not just people who draw cartoons but also realistic ones. As it helps you with facial ques and how to make a character interesting.
"Albinus on anatomy" by Robert Beverly Hale and Terence Coyle. Great book to help someone learn basic anatomy.
"Artistic Anatomy" by Dr. Paul Richer and Robert Beverly Hale. A good book if you want to go further in-depth with anatomy.
"Directing the story" by Francis Glebas. A good book if you want to Story board or make comics.
"Animal Anatomy for Artists" by Eliot Goldfinger. A good book for if you want to draw animals or creatures.
"Constructive Anatomy: with almost 500 illustrations" by George B. Bridgman. A great book to help you block out shadows in your figures and see them in a more 3 diamantine way.
"Dynamic Anatomy: Revised and expand" by Burne Hogarth. A book that shows how to block out shapes and easily understand what you are looking out. When it comes to human subjects.
"An Atlas of animal anatomy for artist" by W. Ellenberger and H. Dittrich and H. Baum. This is another good one for people who want to draw animals or creatures.
Etherington Brothers, they make books and have a free blog with art tips.
As for Supplies, I recommend starting out cheap, buying Pencils and art paper at dollar tree or 5 below. For digital art, I recommend not starting with a screen art drawing tablet as they are more expensive.
For the Best art Tablet I recommend either Xp-pen, Bamboo or Huion. Some can range from about 40$ to the thousands.
💻As for art programs here is a list of Free to pay.
Clip Studio paint ( you can choose to pay once or sub and get updates)
Procreate ( pay once for $9.99)
Blender (for 3D modules/sculpting, ect Free)
PaintTool SAI (pay but has a 31 day free trail)
Krita (Free)
mypaint (free)
FireAlpaca (free)
Libresprite (free, for pixel art)
Those are the ones I can recall.
So do with this information as you will but as you can tell there are ways to learn how to become an artist, without breaking the bank. The only thing that might be stopping YOU from using any of these things, is YOU.
I have made time to learn to draw and many artist have too. Either in-between working two jobs or taking care of your family and a job or regular school and chores. YOU just have to take the time or use some time management, it really doesn't take long to practice for like an hour or less. YOU also don't have to do it every day, just once or three times a week is fine.
Hope this was helpful and have a great day.
#my art i do for fun and dont work really hard to get things to be better and grow#i just keep at it and get better very slowly and very little at a time and am okay with that#but people if you actually want to do it you need to know its a lot of work and your not going to be good right away#you have to actually work on it#AI i see people use as a quick way cause they dont want to put in time to learn#its okay to not want to learn and that not a skill you wnat to develop but if you want art then you need to actually commission artist#not go to a free online program#or even go to picrew those are super fun and actually something the artists sign up to be a part of
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also hey speaking of worm!! whenever u get a break from me tormenting u wormstyle & also scarab. do u have any thoughts on the chicago wards interview that got interrupted by khonsu.... ( also that whole like. section. ouagh.) big nhw coded moment 2 me. torment those guys make them appear on national network morning news!!! also chicago wards thoughts in general. taylor's alexandria lunchbox & psychological warfare. etc....
OKAY. YEAH!! PERFECT TIMING i just finished 25.5. awesome. i want to crush cauldron in my epic huge meat fist. HAVING A LOT OF FEELINGS ABT THE INTERVIEWWWW. i dont think i liveblogged that chapter much partially because i read it at work and partially because oh my godddd it was so fucking painful. the. fakeness of it all. eugh. icky. but also holy shit yeah nhw. you know their asses are on tv so much because theyre the junior prime force. hey remember how fucking dismally william did during the speech before the trickster fight. do you think theres a scrubbed interview out there where he just has a breakdown on live tv. absolute fucking nightmare. thank god nhw greyscale doesnt happen until way later because this boy CANNOT be on tv. anyway. yeah i think they get interviewed and stuff a lot but the only one whos actually any good at it is dakota. because everyone loves dakota. he does most of the talking 90% of the time. hey do u think ashe was auxiliary long enough to be on tv. how do u think he would feel abt that. how do u think MARK would feel abt that. sorry my worm reading interrupted winters family fic im thinking abt them nonstop ueueuguughhh................. anyway. god . this is just complete stream of consciousness garbage i am so sorry. worms fucking GOOD dude. THE FUKCING ALEXANDRIA LUNCHBOX. PEAK SHITTY TEENAGER BEHAVIOR I HATE IT SO MUCH
#this girl is in a situation that makes her wildly uncomfortable and i wnat to get#her out of it so badly. cuff please quit your job you can couch surf in my apartment for a while. get OUT of there girl#also i like the chicago wards a lot <3 unfortunately you know ive imprinted (ha) onto golem/theo like a mother duckling.#thats not a thing but you know what i mean#i like tecton a lot too he seems like a nice young man (<< said like that text from a landlord to a picture of a frog like. he seems polite#cuff also activates my big sibling instincts but in the#grace wanton and annex are cool too but i dont have much to say abt them#asks#wormposting#reaction time#friends!!!#intertexts
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its come to my attention now that im less public about having meltdowns and begging for *one specific persons* attention because i thought i *deserved better* than to be treated like a joke or a toy someone could just throw around whenever they want, that im getting less attention from men.
like yall can’t try and play the knight in shining armor to try and get into someones pants so you just don’t even try and honestly that’s pathetic. you shouldn’t have to try and love bomb someone vulnerable into liking you.
i feel complete and utter disgust that these men think i’d be down to hook up especially in a bad time. i’m not easy, and i don’t play games.
#liek what happened girl????#did you actually like me or did you just try manipulate your way into my life by playing the good guy???#the amount of experiences i have on here from guys like this is ASTRONOMICAL and its very telling now that im back and suddenly they dont#give a fuck anymore#like i’m not publicly CRYING about another man and am appearing more free and single than ever (not that i would ever scream what my status#is from the rooftops unless i’m with the loml because it’s NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS im never having my fights mistakes and heartbreaks#public ever again)#and EVERYONE is silent#like i don’t get it#if i was as beautiful and wonderful and deserving of love like you told me i was when you were trying to console me you’d see that im#now’s the time to do it when i don’t appear all hung up#but no instead it’s silence and don’t you think i don’t notice that tahts a red flag itself and kind of makes you look bad???#sure you can praise me to my face and try and save me from what you called an asshole but after that what’s left?#nothing#because you don’t genuinely like me you just like the opportunity and how it makes you look and how much ‘’helping’’ someone makes your#little ego SHINE#and you use the same moves and say the same things to everyone else you do it too and i see right through it and that’s why i never felt#anything talking to you people and just did it because i didn’t wnat to be rude but im over that#everyone i thought was genuine wasn’t and some of yall aren’t deserving of forgiveness#i was in love with that man i was crying about i know it would’ve been easier to rebound and fall for someone else giving me the attention i#was lacking but i knew there would be nothing left because i already felt everything before hand#i knew you didn’t actually love me and i knew you were pathetic little bitch boys (some of yall older than me still doing this shit LMAO)#i knew it would just make things worse because i didn’t actually fix anything i just distracted myself in something shallow and meaningless#with someone who got satisfaction over seeing me down just to save me afterwards and then leave#its pathetic#let me make this clear i’m not a toy or a joke or a prize to win after playing the game ‘’right’’ i am a person who deserves genuine#connection and care and for that to not be used as a weapon or a card you can play and hope you get a desired outcome#this is not poker this is emotions that i’m actually feeling#it’s liek only going for the model because she’s hot and not for the girl you’ve loved your whole life#when you go after something shallow and meaningless you’ll never actually win in life you’ll just feel empty
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love games that are like: "this is totally a normal cooking simulator, dont worry about it :)" or "wow you are definetly cleaning up regular everyday messes in homes, no blood and/or crimes to see here!"
i would even love it if you have a cooking type simulator game and randomly get a *suspicious meat* or *pulsating veggies* option (as in is this a cannibalism or soylent green situation) - or have a house flipper game but at night you might see people watching you from the windows.
just mostly normal games but every now and then theres something fucked up. make that the halloween option instead of just the typical pumpkins
#i used to imagine a viscera cleanup detail-esque game - but you have to clean up rube-goldberg type murder machines and the like#(until you yourself are framed oh no)#clean up a murder scene and then also return it to a state it was in before whatever horrific thing happened here#idk i just find the mix of horror and everyday shit interesting#like the scp foundation has to have a clean-up part! i would love it if someone made a game out of that somehow#theres a couple of house flipper levels that are like this - where you go through it and think: wow i DONT want to know what happened here#but i wnat more
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Emergency.
Please help.
My Ko-Fi page
#update#important#i dont know what tp say#but all i do wnat to say at the momebt is to thank all of you for how much attention this has gotyen#i don't think id have a reason to even wake up if it weren't for how people actually cared and were worried about me#i thank you all for your support especially those who have donated to me#you guys are amazing and are keeping me from going unstable at the moment#i cant thank you enough for all of this#i hope i can repay all of you bavk at skme point
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