#you dont know my experiences and you don't know my feelings so maybe shut your fucking mouth

[snowychicken]

8, 14, 16 (aro time)

Hi Soup!!!!! C: <2 Okay I'm laughing so hard about this bc I never actually posted this ask game but I got an ask for it lmao. BUT I do really appreciate the ask and appreciate you thinking of me so I'm gonna answer them anyway, you just can't be disappointed with my answers lol

8. What are some of your favorite arospec characters? This can include characters from popular media or OCs.

Honestly, I don't know very many characters where their orientation comes up at all (unless they're straight of course), let alone arospec characters. BUT fortunately there is Lillly from Other Girls <2

14. What are some stereotypes about arospec individuals that annoy you the most?

The biggest one is that arospec people are always emotionless/uncaring/cruel/cold/etc. (Also hate hate hate that the main argument I see people make against that stereotype is "aro people still feel love" bc some of us fucking don't. But idk if that's a common enough belief to be considered a stereotype itself)

16. Do you have any arospec OCs? If so, tell us about them?

I do not unfortunately :(. I don't think I have any OCs really. Sorry to disappoint

Thanks so much for the ask Soup!!! <2 <2 <2

Link to the game (linking Soup's post since I don't have my own lol)

[hoshifighting]

Okay, bear with me cause this might be a strange one, but, how do you think seventeen would react if their s/o wanted to like ‘play’ with their dick.. but like not in the way of ‘here’s a handjob’ but sorta ‘so what happens if I rub your balls like this ?’ Like they just want to poke and prod and maybe lick it

More from like a ‘I don’t have a dick and I wanna know what happens’ kind of perspective. I guess? Sexual scientist s/o vs seventeen lol

sexual scientist s/o x seventeen

warnings: smut, cock/balls play(?)

seungcheol’d try to act all strong and everything, like it’s no big deal, but the second your fingers graze his balls? yeah, he’s groaning like a whoooore. “b-baby, what are you doing?” he’d ask, voice shaking, but honestly, he’s not telling you to stop—he’s curious to see what you’ll do next.

jeonghan smug idiot omg hes a menace stoooooop. he’s laughing at first, all “you really wanna know what happens?” then you start rubbing, and his eyes go wide, mouth falling open as his cock twitches. “oh fuck, okay, maybe— maybe you’re—oh!”

joshua would be a blushing mess. he’s trying to act polite about it, like, “uh, baby, what are you—ohh…,” but the second your hand gets anywhere near his tip (or perineum cof cof), he’s gasping, hips jerking up into your touch. “oh, wow, okay, that feels… good? actually, too good, if you keep going—” he’d definitely let you experiment more, though, no questions asked.

junhui’s all for it. he’s watching you, a little too excited. when you start touching him, he’s moaning loud, throwing his head back. “fuck, you really don’t know what you’re doing to me.”

hoshi would be confused but... why not? “uh, is this like… a game or something?” he’d ask, until you start rubbing, and then he’s losing it. his breath hitches, and he’s trying not to make a sound, but it’s not working. “holy shit—okay, NO DONT SQUEEZE IT.”

wonwoo’d be a little shy about it at first, wondering what you’re up to, but he’s not stopping you. “what are you trying to figure out?” he’d ask, half-laughing, until you hit the right spot, and then he’s gasping, eyes fluttering shut. “shit… yeah, keep doing that.”

woozi’d act like he’s too cool for it, smirking down at you, saying something like, “you’ trying to conduct an experiment? there's nothing special about it” but the second your fingers slide down, his breath catches, and he’s shifting his hips, trying to play it cool. “ah, ah, fuck, okay, yeah, I get it now.”

minghao’s laughing softly at first, kinda enjoying watching you be all curious about his body or male body. “you wanna know what happens if you touch there?” he’d tease, but then you do it, and he’s biting his lip, trying so hard not to moan. “oh… okay, okay is enough.”

mingyu, poor baby would be so confused at first, blinking down at you like, “baby, is not even a pretty thing like, balls? really?.” the second you touch him, his body reacts on instinct, hips bucking up into your hand, and he’s gasping, eyes wide. “oh my god, you better be quick…”

seokmin would be giggling at first, thinking you’re messing with him. “are you serious right now?” he’d ask, when you start rubbing, his laugh dies, and he’s groaning, voice all shaky. “babe… do that again.”

seungkwan’s so embarrassed, blushing bright red, trying to make a joke out of it. “oh, you’re really gonna…?” and when u touch him, he fucking whimpers eyes fluttering shut as he grabs at the sheets. “yeah yeah, you can do it again…”

vernon = blank stare. he’s so confused at first, like, “why would do something like that? oh, a research?” but once your hand moves lower, he’s gone. his voice catches in his throat, and he’s gripping your wrist. “wait—what the fuck, that feels… so good.”

chan “you’re really gonna try that?” he’s all talk until you actually do it, and then his mouth falls open, a shaky moan slipping out. “oh shit, that’s—its sensitive! what the fuck did you do? b-but don't stop…” he’s 100% into letting you experiment all you want.

[plushish]

Adam with a reader who’s very witty and quick with comebacks?

just some silly pre-conference banter! | Adam x Reader

headcanon/drabble — how would Adam be like with a reader who is sharp-witted?

content & warnings — NSFW, fem reader, fem pronouns, fingering & cunnilingus, sexual act happening in a public place (workplace).

a/n — this takes place in some sort of office-setting, i dont know what goes on up there in heaven but i like to think its similar to what we've seen so far in hell, so i'm sure conferences aren't unheard of. i wasn't sure what format this idea should take, so it begins like a headcanon list but finishes up with a drabble. it's also rushed and i struggled with it a lot but. we ball!!!!!!

Adam considers himself to be a pretty funny guy, always dishing out 'sick burns' on others, but his pride gets hurt really easily. When it comes to a reader who can keep up with him in comebacks; he's definitely impressed by it, thinks it's hot as fuck, but he'd never openly admit it because it also a ignites a strong sense of competition in him.  

The tension between the two of you is uncomfortably palpable, how you twist him through every conversation and leave him to stammer like a fool just when he thinks he's bested you. Watching him seethe is endlessly entertaining to you, it brings you satisfaction, finding your own sense of pride in seeing that bad boy persona crack little by little.

The two of you will be going back-and-forth every time Sera calls for a conference, taking up half of the allotted time with your back-and-forths, and everyone graced with the luck to have been summoned there just wishes the two of you would fuck already so they didn't have to keep sitting through this.

But he secretly likes it, your flippancy towards his status and identity as First Man, how you're always so quick to shut down his sleazy remarks with an air of arrogance, going toe-to-toe with his own. Cute. 

Until one day, you finally give into him– He somehow manages to get you to fuck him, and for days after, his bragging around the office is incessant: "[Name] cries when she cums!", "Her orgasm face is just the cutest fuckin' thing, I mean could you imagine? Wait, actually don't, don't picture it–"

You start to get fed up, not only annoyed at his oversharing and his ceaseless bragging about things that simply weren't true, but because you hadn't even gotten to cum from the experience. Instead of confronting him, you had a plan in place that would get you what you wanted, so you instead opted to ignore the hushed whisperings around you all day.

...Until a little later, when you're in an empty conference room together, and he's sitting across the table from you. Licking the lid of his yogurt container with a smug look. Mimicking the disappointingly tepid treatment he'd given to you the night before.

"Should we... address what happened, [Name]?" He asks smugly, like it was a topic of business, leaning forward onto the table with his hands clasped together.

"No, I'm good." 

"Noooo?" Adam's voice is as sugary as the extra pumps of syrup he'd overloaded his coffee with this morning in the breakroom. You'd seen that diabetes-inducing horror as it happened. "Why not? I feel like it's something we should talk about."

"Why?" You ask simply. "It happened, and that's it."

That gets him a little annoyed. Confused, too; why weren't you playing along?

"Didn't mean a thing to you, then?"

"Nah."

"Oh please, [Name]," he scoffs. He’s getting offended at the thought now, his wings giving a small flap in indignance. He’s supposed to be the aloof one! You should be begging for it to happen again.

"Don't fuckin' play. My dick gave you the best fuck you've ever had and now you don’t know how to feel."

“The best? At putting me to sleep, maybe. I did get a good nap out of it afterward, so.”

To Adam, the only thing better than your negative attention is your positive attention, and the only thing worse than that is your indifference. He hates feeling desperate, but you bring him to that shameful peak.

“You were on my dick like you had a fuckin' crush,” Adam continues to ramble on, trying to find a weak spot. “Fucking me probably meant a lot to you, huh?” 

"I hump my pillow before bed and it means as much." 

"Your pillow can't plow you like I do."

"No, but at least it actually gets me to cum."

Adam’s dick twitches in his pants. You know exactly what you're doing. Those words, delivered with that cruel flippancy he loves and hates so much, are precisely tailored-- All to drive him over the edge. 

“Then maybe that was just a trial run,” He says after a long, fervent pause. "Maybe you need another taste."

You smirk a little, but only offer more disdain.

"No thanks, I've had enough to decide I'm no longer interested."

"Oh come on," He finally says. He's desperate at another chance now, he needs the validation of making you cum for his pride to be restored.

"Just give me one more shot?"

And so there you are, bottoms down, legs spread, Adam's fingers inside you, sitting on the edge of the table where a meeting is supposed to happen in about 25 minutes.

You're sopping wet. He drags a finger over your cunt before spreading it. "You're so cute, all blushing and shit. Makes me crazy hard."

"Your vocabulary is fucking terrible. Stop talking."

"You like it, though." He grins, teasingly lifting his fingers away from your aching cunt to show you your own wetness. You let out a small whine at the absence. "You sure you want me to stop?"

"Shut up, I said," You grab him by his hair and shove his mouth where you want it, aggressive and impatient. "-and start eating."

Normally Adam is not one to take demands like that. But in this position-- looking up at your stern face from between your legs--he obeys. He kisses at your cunt over and over, sweet little pecks like a first crush. The sensation makes your core tighten around nothing. Adam was not one to take his time; he was teasing you like this on purpose. You weren't having it.

And so pettily, you decide to say: "You can do better than that."

So naively, he does, he takes your dare and you're practically gushing all over the conference table by the time he gets in there and starts eating for real. Desperately suckling your clit between those smirking lips, that mouth that never fucking shuts up.

You cum with a satisfied sigh, as if you'd just had a good stretch rather than an orgasm on his face. He looks up at you expectantly, lips glistening with your aftertaste. Eyes wide and eager, waiting for the praise that is to come, only for you to lean in and whisper:

"Look who has a crush now."

a/n — pls forgive me for taking so long to answer this! i don't think it's exactly what you're looking for but i tried. it's more of an "adam with a reader who he has a sexually-charged, competitive work relationship with" type of deal. you just like to play with him and you know exactly how to make him desperate

[dovveri]

save your love

synopsis: y/n is susie in allie x & mitski's susie save your love song - if u dont know it go listen :P (but also u dont have to lol synopsis is y/n calls bsf sana drunk and sad and angry abt her bf and you don't know that sana is in love with you)

warnings: cursing, sexual harassment, alcohol, slight cheating, gonn repeat sexual harassment bcs its there and its potentially triggering so err on the side of caution and dont read if ur worried - take care🙏

w/c: 3.7k

a/n: still not over the fact that sana used susie save your love in that one ig post like wdym ur a mitski - qpoc ICON - listener and u post a song abt how u wish ur bsf would leave her dumb bf and be w u instead - a quintessential wlw experience like HELLO???? i also think i projected a liiiiiiil bit accidentally maybe im so sorry but writing this shit works better than therapy ngl

࿐ ࿔*: ☽･ﾟ

"y/n where the fuck are you."

you're cursing as you almost drop your drink, phone between your ear and shoulder.

"i dunnoooo one of marshall's friends' places i think. he was supposed to be my ride home but i can't find himmmmmm."

sana's already got her keys in her hand, heading out towards her car, cursing under her breath, "can you share your location with me sweetie? or is there anyone else there that you know?"

you look around at the various stragglers in the living room either smoking, high out of their minds, or completely passed out. loud music, bass thumping hurting your head as you feel the vibrations shoot up your body. "mmmmm noooo but-"

"hey! marshall's girl right?" a deep voice comes over the phone and sana squints to try and make out what's going on, unlocking her car and turning her engine on.

"y/n? hey y/n you still there?"

"mm yeah sana sorry one sec- you guys know where marshall is?"

"think i saw him headed home with someone in the passenger seat, thought that was you cutie."

"someone else? huh?"

"you doing okay? you look a little pale let's get you upstairs in the bathroom yeah?"

"w-wait no-" sana can make out multiple voices talking to you and a little scuffle as you drop your phone, voices fading.

"fuck!" she's about to call your boyfriend marshall and demand for your address when she sees you were able to start sharing your location with her. she sets it into her navigation app and starts speeding to the destination.

࿐ ࿔*: ☽･ﾟ

"umm guys where are we going? i don't think marshall's up here..."

"oh don't worry babygirl. marshall's our best friend he's okay with whatever we wanna do."

"mm okay but like- what are we doing? if we're singing you guys have to know i suck at karaoke so don't laugh."

the three guys holding you up laugh, "nah nah baby we're just gonna get you cleaned up a little before marshall comes to pick you up okay?"

"oh okay~ mmm wait where's my phone? i was just talking to my best friend-" you start to fumble for your pockets while the guys lead you into a dim room.

they shut the door and close in on you, you’re still cluelessly looking for your phone when one guy starts kissing you, shoving his tongue into your mouth.

"w-wait! what are you doing?!"

he's pushing you onto a bed and climbing on top of you kissing your neck while the others slip your top off and unbutton your jeans. "shhh we're just cleaning you up like we said. want you to be nice and ready for marshall right?"

"no what-"

the door slams open and sana's there, breathing heavily from clambering over the steps.

"get the fuck away from her."

the guys exchange annoyed looks when the one who was at your jeans stands up and walks towards sana, "you the best friend? you're welcome to join us if you'd like." he's pulling on her hand and dragging her towards you.

she doesn't give him another second, yanking him back and bringing a knee up into his crotch, letting him fall to the side groaning as she rushes towards you.

you realise belatedly she's got her phone out and the flashlight on as you squint, trying to make out her face.

"get the fuck off her right fucking now. i've got all you shits on camera and the cops on speed dial."

the two guys glance at each other, looking like they want to pull a fight but then they're cursing and moving away, picking up their friend off the floor and stumbling out the door.

her flashlight turns off, and you feel her tugging your clothes back into place before lifting you bridal-style and carrying you out, down the stairs, and into the passenger seat of her car.

you watch hazily as she paces around outside for a few minutes on the phone with someone, stopping to snap a picture of the house and then hanging up and getting into the car, slamming the door close.

you flinch at the sound, shrinking into your seat, pulling the jacket she's draped over you closer.

she starts the engine and pulls out wordlessly.

you don't dare speak yet, letting the soft hum of the engine and the late night radio music fill the silence as you listen to her heavy breaths slow down.

finally she sighs and glances over at you, "what would you have done if i didn't show up y/n?" her voice is gentle, it always was with you.

you can't look at her, tears welling up in your eyes as you stare out the window, shrugging in response.

she's frowning, "did they manage to do anything to you? are you okay? do we need to get you to a hospital?"

you're shaking your head, the movement making you dizzy, feeling gross in your own skin as you pick at your nails. "can you take me to marshall's? i don't wanna talk about this right now." you're voice is croaky when you speak, on the verge of tears.

sana grips the wheel hard at your request, instead, pulling over on the side of the empty road and putting the car in park.

you sigh exasperatedly, "sana please i just said i don't want to talk about this right now."

"that's fine but if you think i'm taking you to that asshole's house then you've got to be fucking kidding me y/n."

you turn your head to look at her then, her eyes are dark with barely concealed rage, fists clenched so tight her knuckles were turning white. you falter under her gaze, "he's not an asshole."

she scoffs then, "are you fucking serious? what kinda boyfriend takes you to his rapist friends' house then leaves with another girl without so much as a text. it should be enough proof he’s a dick that he's even friends with those assholes." she spits.

and you can't help it, you start sobbing uncontrollably.

"oh shit y/n i didn't- i'm sorry-" she's shuffling around trying to get around the console, and you sob even louder at her outstretched hand, careful and wanting to comfort you but making sure you were okay being touched first.

you're diving into her arms and then she's all there. pulling you into her lap and adjusting the position of her seat so you can squeeze in between the wheel and her torso. soft hands running through your hair shooshing and whispering gently into you ear. arm wrapped tightly around your waist while your face is buried in her chest, heaving and letting out your disgust.

she never stops running her fingers through your hair, letting your sobs wrack your body, hearts beating in tandem as she just holds you.

eventually, your sobs reside to sniffles and you feel a little silly, rubbing your eyes onto the material of her betty boop pyjama shirt.

she's still combing fingers through you hair, rubbing your back lightly, and laying soft kisses along the side of your face, resting her forehead against the top of your head and breathing you in softly.

"i-i'm-" your voice cracks as you try to speak up weakly but she hushes you quickly.

"we don't have to talk if you don't want to. we can stay here for as long as you want. i'm not going anywhere."

you feel your eyes well up again, but you swallow it down, speaking up after clearing your throat, "i'm sorry-" your voice cracks again, almost breaking, "i'm sorry you had to see me like that."

you feel her lifting her head off yours and looking at you in disbelief, mouth open and about to protest but you put a finger to her lips, still not able to look at her.

"no let me finish. you were right. i had no idea what i'd have done if you didn't come. i'm sorry that you did have to come. i'm just so sorry for fucking up sana. if i'd- if i hadn't got so drunk maybe, or if i'd followed marshall home-"

she licks the finger on her lips and you yelp, looking at her out of reaction and cringing, wiping the finger on her shoulder in faux disgust.

she chuckles, "can i talk yet?"

you nod shyly, "as long as you don't lick me again." avoiding her eyes.

she's smiling and a hand is on your cheek, brushing the skin there gently and you can't help but lean into the touch.

"y/n... you don't have to apologise for anything. i'm sorry if i made you feel like you did. but i don't care about all of that. i'm just grateful i was there, if anything, i'm angry at myself for not being there sooner." you look at her as she takes a shaky breath in, eyes wet, "but you have to know none of that was your fault. there's no what if. it was no one's fault but the guys who decided to take advantage of you while you were drunk."

you're crying again, head in your hands, "n-no but- like i know that but i just- like i trusted them. i trusted them because they were meant to be marshall's friends and i trusted marshall."

she's rubbing her hands at your lower back, "that doesn't make it your fault for trusting them. they broke that trust the moment they started thinking of you in a way they shouldn't have. you can't blame yourself for something like that y/n."

"i just feel so gross sana. i can't stop thinking about how their hands felt on me, and i want to scrub off every bit of them."

she's clutching your waist, anger building up again, "i'll fucking kill them."

you let out a choked laugh, "yeah? you and your 163 centimetres? against three buff gym rats?" you poke the skin at her arms, "with these muscles i assume?" (it was SO funny and adorable in the ready to be tw-log finale ep when jeongyeon was poking at sana saying how she has zero arm muscles)

she's pulling away from you with a pout and a whine on her lips before her gaze darkens and she says somberly, "i have a car."

you laugh seriously then, a big hearty laugh as your head falls to her shoulder, and she's whining and trying to pull you up. you're so grateful for her.

eventually you come up, wiping at your eyes and catching your breath, "well i'm glad i have someone who'd commit manslaughter for me."

she's pouting adorably and you get a sudden rush of want, and you blush, scrambling away, wondering why the fuck you just thought about how easy it'd be to kiss the pout off your best friend's lips.

sana's confused and pulling you back into her, "what's wrong? where’re you going?"

you come up with the quickest excuse you can think of, "gonna puke."

she yelps and quickly opens the car door, almost falling out in her rush to avoid being covered in sick. you're out the door in seconds, heaving in the fresh air and shivering slightly at the cold, hoping it'll at least cool down the heat in your cheeks.

then you're giggling, and then laughing again, turning back to face her look of disgust. her face morphs as she watches you though, and soon enough she's doubled over laughing as well.

to anyone driving past, you'd both look insane, laughing at absolutely nothing. but to you, you've never felt more free, more relieved. you're safe, and okay, and you're favourite person in the whole world is here with you. you collapse onto the hood of her car, and she follows suit, giggling and breathy.

the two of you lay here, looking up into the night sky, counting the stars. you shiver slightly and move closer towards her until your bodies are touching. she's turning slightly, wrapping an arm around your waist loosely, and watching you watch the stars.

you turn to face her, breaths mingling, coming out in wispy white clouds of heat in the chilly night air. you find your eyes dropping to her mouth again, and you can't hide the blush that adorns your face this time. if you'd just leaned in a little more, you'd be able to answer the burning question in your head of what exactly sana tasted like.

the slight quiver in her lower lip entrances you, the soft breaths she's taking as her warmth fans over your face, smelling of jasmine and the toothpaste she’s used just before bed. you're inching closer and closer, her eyes are on your lips as well.

you lose it though, when a tongue peeks out and licks across her bottom lip, and you're pressing your lips against hers softly, eyes closed, and humming at the warmth she provides.

she's kissing you back gently, lips slotting against yours in the perfect way, and then she's gone, pulling away leaving you chasing after her, but she places a hand on your chest, pushing you back lightly.

"you're drunk. and taken. this is wrong."

you whine, trying to pull her back to you but she's firm, sitting up and walking away.

you're blinking and what the fuck just happened? dazed as you stand up as well, moving back into the passenger seat dumbly, peeking at her expression trying to get a sense of what was going on inside her mind.

she starts the engine and pulls out from the kerb, staring straight ahead, giving you nothing.

you can't help but think you've fucked everything up again.

࿐ ࿔*: ☽･ﾟ

the storm brewing inside your head doesn't stop when she pulls into your driveway and parks.

you muster up the courage to apologise but she beats you to it, "i'm sorry y/n. i shouldn't have done that. can we just forget it about it please? i don't want to ruin anything between us. you're the most important person in the world to me and i can't lose you over these stupid feelings and i'm so sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable at all i-"

your inebriated mind is playing catch up, rolling her words in your head over and over again trying to figure out why that sounded like she was saying she had feelings for you? that couldn't be right. sana was the it girl. she was the girl that everyone wanted. she was the girl that sat through your nerdy rants about space and eels. the girl that bought you ice cream when your first boyfriend broke up with you in grade 3 because he didn't like the way you cut your hair. the girl that cried when she found out you weren't going to the same high school because you were moving away, but then managed to get her parents to enroll her anyway and spent the next 6 years taking the 2 hour commute to school just to be with you.

and holy shit. sana was in love with you.

"sana..." you interrupted her rambling, "i... i kinda have a massive headache right now and i'm more than a little drunk but… this isn't going to change our friendship at all."

her eyes are wide and shining, looking at you in fear, you grab her hands and squeeze them over the console, "i promise i'm not leaving you but i don't want to give you an answer yet when i'm in this state. but if it helps, i'm pretty sure i'm the one that kissed you first." you grin, and she lets out a shaky breath.

you let go of her hands and shyly rub the back of your neck, "i kinda need to get inside and get clean but i'll call you tomorrow if that's okay?"

she's nodding, wiping at her eyes hastily.

you open the door and step out, closing it softly behind you. but you lean back down and gesture for her to roll down the window which she does.

"and sana... thank you for tonight. seriously. i don't know how i can ever show you how grateful i am for you being there."

she purses her lip and is firm again, "stop it. i'm glad i was there. and thankyou for letting me be there for you."

you smile gently as you wave and head towards your door, she waits for you to get inside and the door to shut before she pulls out and drives home, heart thumping, thoughts messy.

࿐ ࿔*: ☽･ﾟ

you wake up in the morning with a pounding headache, stumbling to your kitchen to pop a few painkillers and squinting as you adjust to the morning sunlight spilling through your windows.

thank god you remembered everything that happened last night, you set your lips in a line as you got ready. you had a strict plan for today, and nothing was going to ruin it.

you quickly get dressed, thumbing out a small letter and grab your keys, driving over to marshall's house was step one.

once you arrive, you slam your car door loudly, taking satisfaction in the fact it probably woke him in his self-induced hangover he was no doubt soothing. you stalk up his front door, rapping on the wood loudly and tapping your foot impatiently as you wait for him to open the door.

it's not him though, and you scoff at the sight of a half naked girl, probably barely legal, pushing her aside despite her weak protests, and letting yourself into the space.

you storm up to his room, flinging open the door, grabbing the vase next to the bed, and dumping the water all over his sleeping head.

he wakes up with a start, "WHAT THE FUC-"

you slap him across the face, bringing his attention to you, "we're done." two simple words and you're back out the door, going down the steps, and back into your car.

you're halfway down the street when you spot him in the rearview mirror clambering after you in his underwear, soaking and pathetic.

you can't believe you had stayed with that man for as long as you had.

the relief you feel after your first action of the day is freeing. you're chasing after the feeling you had last night when you were doubled over laughing like madmen with sana on the side of the road. adrenaline pumping as you pull up to your local florist, purchasing a big bouquet of pink hydrangeas and then grabbing 2 coffees and a few bakery goods, shoving everything back into your car and speeding away again.

you arrive at sana's front door in record time, knowing her, she was definitely awake already and probably anxiously waiting for you to call. you grin as you grab the flowers, the letter you wrote before you left the house, and the breakfast you've gotten for the both of you, placing it down on her front door mat and arranging everything nicely so it looked picture-worthy.

then you ring her doorbell and duck, running over to her side fence that you knew she always left unlocked, entering her house through the back door, and sneaking back towards the front.

sana's bent down over the flowers and you can see the slight crease between her eyebrows from her confusion as she reads the letter you've left in the middle of the hydrangeas.

i'm sure you don't need me to tell you what pink hydrangeas represent because you're a huge flower nerd and i love that about you but i'm going to write it out anyway to show you i did the research.

in japan, hydrangeas are used to show you're sorry. and i'm sorry for not realising sooner, for letting you suffer for so long on your own. they also represent heartfelt emotions and gratitude. i'm eternally grateful for you sana. you're the most important person in the whole world to me too. i'd also commit manslaughter for you.

in europe, hydrangeas mean vanity and arrogance. i'm sorry i was so self-involved with my stupid boyfriends. to tell you the truth, i always thought you were too good for me, and that you'd realise that one day and leave, so i clung to anyone i could find, waiting in fear of that day. that was selfish of me, and i see that now, because you could never leave someone you love. because i realised i feel the same way about you, and i could never, never leave you.

pink hydrangeas are the most romantic of the bunch. (they’re also your favourite colour) i'm obviously trying to tell you that i love you too in a more than platonic way. and this time i'm not drunk or hyperemotional, i'm certain.

you silently creep up behind her while she's reading your note, and then grab her waist lifting her up into the air as she squeals, turning her in your arms and planting your lips on hers.

she's caught by surprise, lips unmoving against yours, until she realises it's you and wraps her legs around your waist, arms around your neck, and kisses you back.

you can finally taste her. and there's no way to describe it. you don't know why it took you so long to realise your feelings for her, but you'd never felt the way you feel about her for anyone else. you'd chalked that up to being best friends and that that's the way all best friends feel about each other, but best friends don't sigh into kisses. best friends don't feel like their hearts would explode with each soft press of skin against each other. best friends don't love each other the way you loved sana.

you break away when you feel wetness glide along your cheek, and salt touch the tip of your tongue. "sana?! oh my god i'm so sorry, i shouldn't- i should've asked first- oh shit i'm so-"

she's chuckling brokenly and you can't tell if she's laughing or crying or both but she pulls you back in, melding your lips together again speaking against your mouth, "i'm sorry. i'm just so happy right now."

you smile against her, kissing her again, you think you'll never be able to get enough of this feeling. "i'm sorry it took so long for me to catch up."

you feel her laugh against you, "i'm just glad you've still got some love saved for me."

"always." kiss. "it's all for you from now. i love you."

"i love you too idiot."

[brights-place]

HIHIHII CAN U PLS DO SFW AND NSFW HCS OF FLOYD X READER (IF U DONT DO NSFW ITS FINE🤞🤞)‼️‼️

Floyd NSFW Headcannons

Pairings: Floyd X Reader

Warnings: MDNI, Mild cursing, NSFW, and Smutttt

A/N: Simps are piling up in my inbox LOL! but I have sfw floyd dating headcannons linked right at the bottom of my authors note I'll just do the NSFW one instead :>>

↳˳;; ❝ Dating floyd ᵕ̈೫˚∗

- Mother fuckers an tease and an switch leaning more into an sub then an dom - I wholeheartedly believe this man is amazing at foreplay. Maybe it’s inadvertent, but he wants to experience as much of you as he can for as long as he can. - Will let you fuck him anywhere except for when in public but might start wanting to do it more in public feeling adrenaline close to being caught while doing the deed - Literally whimpers at how you'd continue to make him feel every inch of you and how he notices when he praises you more you'd go harsher on him which he enjoys

- clings to your so much and when needed he will rut on your thighs if you can't help him out - tears streaming down his face as he gets overstimulated so easily

- extremely touch starved

- He will bite down on your shoulder as he thrusts in and out

- it’s messy, so messy! he drools so much while his tail wagging so so hard begging you to fuck him

- Tug his hair and he will whine

- even if he's the shortest he would hold you up against the wall and fuck into you or you both would switch positions as your hands on the back of his thighs to hold them up and out, not letting him close them as he whimpers

- HE IS SO VOCAL! like will have his body shaking as he moans loudly with no shame has an secret kink of having others watch you two make out or get caught doing the devils tango

- Hates how you easily control him... He's lying he loves it so much he gets whiny if you don't fuck him for like awhile - For example your sorting out an party plan with poppy while branch and Floyd walk over and floyds all fidgety biting his lip and tapping his leg to the floor impatiently as branch went to talk to poppy and you noticed floyds fidgeting figure as he walked over to your gripping your forearm "(name...)" He muttered looking away shyly and back towards you as you smirked knowing the familiar look in his eye - Next thing he knows your behind some bushes telling him to shut up and covering his mouth as his eyes roll back while you fucking him degrading him so much that he drools and whimpers while he clings to whatever he can to support him

- praises will leave his lips as light whimpers escaped as well sometimes degrading words a swell for fun but your the one who mainly praises and degrades him - He will hold your thighs open so you don't close them whatsoever (not like he'd kill to have you crush him with your thighs)

- he even praises you when ever he's legit going to town

-though it's very muffled, he will talk about how good you taste, how obedient your being, and even how much he loved you in general.

- He'll be riding you and his hands will grip on you shoulders, begging and trying to go deeper to hit his favorite spot as he sounds like he's saying random words - WILL let you fuck him with your tail. Especially when he's so impatient and you have other things to do

- When he dominates more he enjoyed how you grip onto him crying and thanking him. He enjoyed your panting and your eyes rolling back while you clinged to him

- Pull his hair, tail, mark him he'd become putty -Some of his kinks are bondage, edging, mommy/daddy kink, overstimulation, Praise, Face sitting, Bondage, Pet playNipple play, Humiliation, Exhibitionism, edging, spit kink and Cock warming.

-If he's needy he will just rut against you till you touch him and make him feel better.

- I wholeheartedly believe this man is amazing at foreplay.

- He loves just kissing you and feeling your body move against his, he wants the time to trace over every inch of you.

- He’s fascinated by the way your muscles and bones move under your skin and he loves mapping out any part of your body.

- His favorite positions are probably cowgirl,Reverse Cowgirl, Sixty Nine, Doggy Style, and Missionary along with other positions aswell

- if given permission he would kiss down your body, kiss your clit/tip before licking up his and your cum with an huge smile with an blushing face

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2024 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact!

[sharpth1ng]

Hihihi sharp, sharpie, sharp guy, sharps disposal! Silly sharp man, I sent an ask for writing tips not too long ago, and I am yet again asking. Nay, BEGGING 🙏. If you have. Any writing tips. On Stu’s character. Ouhg. What’s your thought process on writing him?

Anything helps/nfta

If I mischaracterize him I will cry, broski. Jelp.

This is a little late but maybe it will still be helpful.

The way I see Stu hes someone that copes with positivity and humor. If someone he cares about is upset his first instinct is to make a fool of himself to distract them. He's an extremely social person because he finds people entertaining, even though he cares for relatively few of them.

I dont consider him a psychopath but think that relative to the general population he has high levels of cognitive empathy and lower levels of emotional empathy. This means that he's good at understanding people, and because he can understand them he can manipulate them, but he doesn't necessarily feel for them.

For example he's bummed to lose Tatum because he enjoyed spending time with her but he doesn't experience deep grief after her death. The emotional empathy he does experience is extremely selective, and most of it is directed toward Billy.

Put this all together and you have someone who is extremely socially capable. He knows how to fit in and get what he wants out of people. A lack of emotional empathy means he doesn't experience much guilt or shame. Guilt and shame are social emotions, to feel them you have to care what people think of you and how you affect them, and Stu mostly doesn't.

All of that said, Stu has the capacity for emotional empathy, he isn't neurologically incapable of it. I see this as something that kind of atrophied or got shut down through a combination of societal privilege and parental neglect.

The dark side of all that social energy and a history of neglect is that he still craves attention and affection, but he knows better than to just fully be himself around most people. If he did that he wouldn't be able to pass as normal, so thats where Billy comes in.

Similar to the way that Stu is special to Billy because he's the only person who really knows how fucked up he is, it's the same for Stu. Billy is the only person thats safe for Stu to fully let loose with, the only person fully capable of giving Stu the attention and affection he craves.

In that way they're pretty co-dependent, and Stu specifically isn't even trying to hide that dependence. Some people decide from a young age that they're going to be an astronaut or a doctor, and then they devote everything to that until they get it. Stu decided from a young age that he was going to be by Billy's side, however he was allowed. For the most part Billy is his first priority.

I think the paradox of childhood neglect is that you want attention and care but you don't actually know how to be cared for, and it can feel a lot more comfortable to care for someone else than to let them care for you. In some ways Stu can focus on Billy because it's more comfortable than focusing on himself. He understands Billy and I think he enjoys the special relationship he has with him. Even before they're romantically involved he knows that Billy gives him a kind of attention he doesn't give anyone else and that feels incredible.

So that's kind of the way I see his emotional motivation and internal psychological state, that's what I use to figure out how he would respond to various events in my writing.

In terms of his dialogue and internal voice he's jokey, he sees and delights in the absurdity of situations he's in. He uses a lot more slang than Billy and will choose silly turns of phrase just to make people laugh and because he thinks they're funny. He's a fairly sensory person but not as much as Billy, and he's a lot better at identifying his own emotions than Billy. Billy will describe emotional reactions in terms of their physical correlates (eg instead of saying he's embarrassed he'll say he feels sick and his face is getting hot) whereas Stu is often able to just identify that those things mean embarrassment.

Again in contrast to Billy he prioritizes pleasure and joy regardless of what that might mean about him. As a result he's not likely to spend much time in denial about his experiences and he mostly doesn't bother to make excuses to himself about the things he desires. He's pretty brave, he's willing to sacrifice a lot for what he wants and he's ok with a little bit of suffering, even if it's not the kind of suffering that turns him on.

Alright theres your Stuart essay 😭 i hope you find it helpful!

[excalibur-gone-missing]

Paring: wonwoo x fem!reader

Genre: lovers to exes

warning(s): angst

summary: wonwoo realizing that good things dont last unless one takes care of them.

words:750

a/n: I request each and every one of you to comment on this fic don't be a silent reader it helps me as an author to understand my readers and i would love to communicate with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me so do talk about this fic or send me an ask.

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Wonwoo had realized you were the love of his life from the prime age of fifteen. You obviously were not aware of this revelation of his, but you did not need to, he was fine with keeping it secret from you till he was comfortable with sharing it.

He had met you when you were six and though a series of unfortunate events, wherein you shoved his face in dog shit and he pushed you into the lake without knowing you could not swim, you both became best of friends, almost inseparable.

The first crack in your ever so strong friendship came with Wonwoo realizing his feelings for you, he stopped talking to you trying his level best to make sure it goes away. It resulted in you breaking into his house to inquire his sudden disappearance from your life and decreasing his life span in the process.

He had his first serious conversation with you about your relationship then. After spending the whole night talking, you both realized you were equally in love with each other and felt the innate teenage need to get into a relationship.

That was the second crack. Now that he thinks back to that day, he realizes the foolhardy risk you both took. It just resulted in a lost friend and a broken relationship.

That was five years ago, both of you were young and dumb, and did not know how to actually work out a relationship. Now at the age of twenty, both still young and dumb, but wiser than your fifteen-year-old selves stand in the living room of his college dorm teary eyed and exhausted from the conversation you just had.

"Maybe it's time we take a break you know experience the world, because I don't really have the energy to do a long distance anymore Wonwoo, not when it's just me putting the effort." You spoke.

That was the topic of the argument, 'his extreme ignorance to your presence', as you had stated, taking utmost care to point out all the time when he went wrong and how you are the only one putting enough effort.

In return he had used up his energy to point out valid reasons as to why he was not able to be available for you in his schedule. His head is throbbing, and he would very much like to have a glass of water but alas the predicament he is in refrains him from doing so.

"let's break up then, what are we waiting for", he says.

All he gets is a scoff from you as a reply. You turn around while running a hand through your hair, you mumble something that sounds similar to 'prick' and walk out of his dorm slamming the door shut.

Maybe if he would have tried to understand where he went wrong instead of making excuses, maybe if you would have tried to understand his predicament or maybe if you both would have sat down for a discussion, you could have salvaged the broken relationship of yours.

But that was not the case here, you both were too deep in your emotions to even try and feel the others, the years in uni had made you both incapable of accepting the changes you both went through. It has made you both hardheaded souls who refused to accept their own shortcomings and blame the world for everything when they could easily fix the problem with accepting their faults instead of defending them.

You were Wonwoo’s first love, and he knows he was yours, but maybe good things do not last long or maybe to make them last one must put in effort, which you both just refused to do. He knows before anything else you both were friends; he does not know if you will be anymore, but he sure does hope that the friendship stays.

Maybe he is a prick he thinks, but you are no less, he knows both of you are equally at fault here, but he will take the easy route this time too, he will blame you because it takes too much courage to blame one’s own self.

He just hopes when the storm dies down you come back to him maybe not as a lover but as a friend because you are too precious for him to lose, and he hopes you think the same as him. Because at the end of the day, you are best of friends.

[comicallylargemango]

Senku I. X Reader! !!

Fictype: songfic

Genre: fluff

Warning: none

A.N: h IM BACK!! With a Senku Ishigami fic!!! He has been plaguing my mind for a month so ermm ywah

Aslso N/n means nick name

HAPPY STONE DAAAYYYYYYYY

★I've rejected affection, for years and years.

At this point everyone knew Senku ishigami was a man of science, he had no time for such illogical things like love. but fate disagreed.

★Now I have it and damn it, it's kind of weird.

When you had first told Senku the words, "I Love You" he was quite shocked, in a good way, of course. a feeling of warmth and affection rose from the dark, mechanical depths of his heart. No one had ever told him that directly, though he knew from their actions and and body language, everyone had their own way of saying I love you, be it platonic or romantic.

It was only natural that he'd be tongue tied when he heard the words "I Love you." Come from your lips. He was hesitant to say it back, the three words feeling foreign 'n weird in his mouth. Never would he have thought he'd say them.

★He tells I'm pretty,

He however, is indifferent to to looks. He doesn't care about the way someone dresses, or how he dresses for that matter. He knows he looks fine.

But for some reason, whenever you were around, he found himself more conscious of his looks and mannerisms. At first he thought it might've just been hormones but never had he felt that way before, so his second thought was you. At the beginning, when you two had first met, he was... Uninterested, to say the least. But as time grew on, he found himself hyper aware and overly embarrassed whenever he did something even just slightly off character Infront of you.

★Dont know how to respond.

When you complimented his knowledge in science, it... Made him feel better, more confident. It wasn't the first time someone had complimented him before but hearing it from you just sounded better, sweeter in his ears. So much so that whenever he'd finish his projects or experiments, he'd always look for your opinion first, his first thought when making something amazing was you.

★I tell him that he's pretty too,

So it was only natural he'd start reciprocating, after all. He isn't some self centered prick, he knows feedback and constructive criticism is important. Though he was a bit hesitant of saying it out loud at first.

"Yo. Y/n." He greets you from behind. Looking at the project you had finally finished. It wasn't overly amazing or perfect, it was fine, it was... You. (In his own words.)

"Heya, Science Guy." You looked over your shoulders to greet him, smiling softly as you wiped your sweaty forehead.

Senku stood beside you, examining it for a while before turning to look at you, hesitating for a while. "Good job, N/n. I'm ten billion percent sure you're getting an A."

★Can I say that? don't have a clue.

He was patiently, (nervously, though he'd never admit it) waiting for your answer. It wasn't usual for him to give out compliments or anything of the sort.

But the way your eyes lit up, the upward curve of your lips, and the way you puffed out your chest and stood straight with confidence?

Yep, he'd have to start complimenting you more often.

"Thanks! Senku."

★With every passing moment, I surprise myself.

At first he doesn't notice it, all the acts of service and words of affirmation he gives to you completely fly over his head. It was only when Gen pointed it out that he finally realised.

"Isn't it so strange?" Gen nudges at Senku with his elbow.

Senku looks up at him in confusion. "What's strange?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Mmm, I don't know. Maybe the way you're a lot more affectionate towards Y/n-Chan than towards anyone else?" He teased, feigning innocence and curiosity.

"Dunno what you're talkin about." Senku shuts him off bluntly.

Gen has an evil smile on his face. "Oh? Then what about that gift you gave them two days ago?Or the week before that? Or when you complimented their technique despite everyone else doing just as well?" He smiles wider.

Senku facepalms, looking at Gen with an uninterested expression. "That's because it's important to reward people for their hard work, Gen."

"And it's because they have been working harder than others."

"Hmmm, is that so~?"

★I'm scared of flies, I'm scared of guys.

When Senku first acknowledged his feelings, they were small, like the bud of a flower waiting to bloom.

But when the petrification happened, the dark void gave his feelings time to ferment and grow stronger. Aside from counting every individual second, you were constantly plaguing his mind, despite his best efforts, sweet images of you and Him constantly threatened to reset the count. But somehow, he managed.

★Someone please help..

And as he broke out of the stone prison, his condition only worsened, (by condition; I mean him wanting to see you again so badly) the many memories you both had together had been modified by his feelings for you and turned sweeter, overly romanticised, if you will.

★Cause I think I'm falling inlove this time,

And it didn't help with the fact that practically everything reminded you of him.

Whenever he needed flowers for dye, boom bam a million memories of the few times he touched your soft skin.

Whenever he saw the sunrise, it reminded him of your smile, the way your eyes would shine whenever he complimented you.

★i blinked and suddenly I had a valentine. (Valentine)

It was all so surreal to him, how he managed to fall in love. someone like him, falling inlove? If you told the Past Senku he woulda laughed in your face, and then go on a rant about how illogical love is blah blah yada yada yada.

But he wasn't complaining, who would complain about having a valentine?

♪ ♪ ♬

★What if he's the last one I kiss?

You remember it like it was yesterday, the first time you'd have kissed Senku. Though it wasn't hot and steamy like how the forbidden part of your brain thought it'd be. It was more or less, awkward. But sweet nonetheless.

"Sseeeeeeeennnnnkkkuuuuuuuuuu. . ." You poked at his face, trying to pry his attention off of his experiment.

"aaaaaaAAAAAAAAA. What is it now, N/n." He groaned exasperatedly. Carefully setting down the glass jar.

"I have a question." You smiled deviously.

Senku groaned even louder, glaring at you with the most uninterested face ever. "No a car will not pull itself if you attach a magnet Infront of it, My hair-"

"No— Senku that's not—"

"—my hair stands up because I style it that way, and—"

"sENKU" you shout exasperatedly, finally getting his attention.

"What?" He stares at you annoyedly.

"Can I kiss you?" You finally ask, suddenly seeming very serious, as if you were playing mario cart with Senku's competitive ass.

Senku's eyes widened in shock, though he immediately resumes his calm, uninterested expression. "Mmmmh.. Nah." He turns back to focus on his work with a smug smirk on his face.

Already imagining the dumbstruck expression on your face, nearly doubling over laughing as he can basically hear you pout through your voice.

"wHy not?" You ask, nudging his shoulder until you get his attention.

"Because I'm busy." He deadpans.

"Too busy for just a little peck?" You tap on his shoulder to get him to look at you, then using the most girly voice you could muster:

"Pretty pleaseeeeeee??" You put your hands together to seem more convincing.

It's effective! Senku ishigami loses -10 billion willpower! (Cmon now we all know he's soft on the inside)

Senku Inhales deeply before letting out the most obnoxious exhale you've ever seen. "Fine." He grumbles. He turns his body to face you, still slightly hesitant.

He leans in slightly, waiting for you to reciprocate. When you finally get over your inner fan-girling, you lean in a little too fast and end up bumping foreheads with Senku.

He rubs the place where you two bumped in a an attempt to sooth it.

"I—im sorry! I didn't mean to. ." You look down shamefully. Little did you know that, as soon as Senku recovered, that awesomely big science brain of his conjured a devious plan. (His words not mine)

When you least expected it, he brought his hands up to your cheeks, gently making you look at him. Before he leans in and kisses you softly on the lips.

It was short but sweet. When he leaned away, he took a moment to admire your starstruck expression, smirking at his accomplishment.

Before you could respond, he tries to lick his lips as sneakily as possible so you wouldn't see. (You saw it)

"That good enough for you?"

★What if he's the only one I'll ever miss?

You knew what love felt like, (mostly from TV shows but anyway) and it was nice. But, you'd never chase it, yeah sure it makes you feel all nice and warm and cozy. You'd miss it for a little while, all the affection n sappiness. But life goes on,

That is, until you met Senku.

As you grew closer to him, you had the strong urge to be near him, closer to him. He plagued your thoughts 24/7, him and his stinky, unique, Leek hair, it was quite obvious you loved him. How could you not?

The way his eyes lit up whenever he talked about science, the determination in his eyes to finish some project of his, his... Brash and oftentimes rude personality, though you knew better. He only cared.

★Maybe I should run? I'm only 21.

Sometimes it was hard, Loving Senku. Not because he made it hard, No No, in fact it was all too easy to love him. Before you confessed to Senku, thoughts of rejection constantly plagued your mind.

Senku was a man of science, no way he'd reciprocate your feelings, right?

And so you thought just blocking them out was the right way to go, though it only allowed your feelings to get stronger and stronger until it overpowered you.

★I don't even know who I want to become.

Senku was a straightforward guy, that's one thing you admired about him. This feeling only cemented when he proudly and confidently declared he was gonna revive the human race. Despite knowing Senku for a long time, it still shocked you. Though, it would throw off anyone really.

★I've lost all control, with my heartbeat now.

One thing was for sure though, you both loved eachother. Despite Senku being a bit stiff about affection sometimes, it was clear he loved you in other ways.

whenever he looks at you, so softly, so lovingly. And that smile you knew was reserved for you and you only. It never failed to make your heart race. Whenever he complimented you, or, use the teasing banter you two always had to indirectly say "I love you"

★Got caught in a romance with him, somehow.

It was all so surreal to you, Senku? Loving you back? If you told anyone that they'd look at you as if you were insane, probably because it was an insane statement by itself. Never thought it'd say Senku and Love in the same sentence unless it was "Senku loves science".

You weren't complaining however, a life without Senku would be utterly, thoroughly, mundane.

It was already late at night, you were both laying on the grass, enjoying the stars in the sky that were previously covered by light pollution 3700 years ago. You and Senku were laying down silently against each other, enjoying this brief moment together before the morning came and Senku had to go back to his duties as the chief.

"Hey, Senku." You turn to look at him, he sighs quietly as if to prepare himself for your shenanigans once more.

"Hm?" He hums, still staring at the sky,only tilting his head ever so slightly towards you to let him know he was listening.

"Why is it that love makes you "dumb"?"

"Because, N/n, the feeling you get around someone you love is actually the brain producing the hormones called, 'serotonin', 'dopamine', 'oxytocin', and 'endorphins'." He turns to look at you to see if you're still listening, instead he finds you staring at him Intently, with the most loving gaze ever.

He freezes for a moment before continuing, a tiny of pink on the tips of his ears.

"So when the brain inevitably gets accustomed to releasing chemicals around that person it will do nearly everything to be around them, making the person do or think irrationally and illogically."

"No wonder why I'm so "Stupid" around you." You smile cheekily.

Senku scoffs before looking back up at the sky, "nah, I'm pretty sure you're just stupid in general."

"Not nice, You leekhead!"

"Since when was I nice? And stop calling me leekhead."

★I still feel a shock, Through every bone.

It still shocks Senku to his core that he managed to fall inlove, someone like him? Inlove? He even took such serious measures to insure he'd never fall inlove.

But he's glad he's let his guard down this time, cause if he didn't? He would never have gotten to Love you.

★When I hear an "I love you" cause now I've got someone to lose.

When he first (directly) said I love you, it nearly short-circuited your brain. He rarely said it, usually because he saw no reason to since he knew you knew he loved you already.

Despite it only being three words it held a deep meaning in both of your hearts, a reminder that no matter what happens you're both there for eachother.

★The first one to ever like me back,

It wasn't the first time you've had a crush before, though you haven't been through alot of romantic relationships, or any at all.

So when you decided to finally confess to Senku, him accepting the confession was the last thing you'd thought he'd do.

★I'm seconds away from a heart attack.

It never failed to catch Senku by surprise whenever you'd outwardly state you loved him,

Not to say he didn't enjoy it, of course he did. Though he'd rather die than admit it.

All those times you'd randomly bombard him with affection and praises, it sent butterflies to his stomach.

"Bill Nye the science guy! Whatcha doin?" You'd exclaim as you walked towards him.

He sighed before looking back at you, "was "Science leek", "leekhead", or "leek-haired" not enough?" He stares at you with the most tired face ever, though it was actually quite the opposite of what he was feeling.

"Shshhshhhhhsh, anyway, whatcha doing?" You playfully put a finger over his lips to shut him up. Chuckling when he sends a glare your way.

He slaps the hand away before finally talking, "I'm making a robot from scratch. It's ten million percent hard and ten billion percent exhilarating." He smirks.

He rants about all the parts and materials he's gonna need and all their uses, what they do, and how exhilarating this is.

"And then-" he gets briefly cut off when you place a soft kiss on his forehead, then his nose, and his cheek. As his brain slowly starts realising, he can feel his face heating up. Though he immediately recovers and instead the tips of his ears become red.

"Oops, my bad. You're just so cute when you rant yknow?" You smirk smugly, aware of what you just did. The smirk on your face only grows wider as you take in Senku's confused face.

As you were lost in the blinding bliss of finally managing to catch Senku off guard, he suddenly leans in close to you and presses a soft kiss to the edge of your lips, missing your lips entirely.

He mirrors the expression you had as he gives you a taste of your own medicine. "Oh sorry, you're just so adorable when your all confident and proud like that, couldn't help myself."

"You're lucky I love you, Leek boy."

"I must be the luckiest Leek in the world then."

★How the hell did I fall inlove this time? And honestly I can't believe I get to call you mine.

He still can't believe he fell inlove, especially with you, no offense, he loves you and would probably die for you but he always thought he'd be most likely to date someone with more knowledge in science,

But, he'd much rather have your curiosity and enthusiasm to learn over someone who already knows.

★I blinked and suddenly I had a valentine.

He stands there in awe, wondering what he could've done to deserve you. He thinks about all the time you've done something for him even though you didn't have to. All those times you've listened to him rant during a phone call, all those times you'd help him carry some "heavy" stuff. Even though it was actually light and Senku just has the muscles of a twig.

He looks at the telescope and the gift you made personally for him, a little star carved out of wood. You two would spend forever in his room gazing at the stars through his old telescope. He smiles softly at the star before looking back up to meet yours.

"Happy birthday, Senku."

[fatuismooches]

i think there was an ask about father dottore but maybe i hallucinated it i dont know but now i want to talk about it

anyway one of my favorite genres of father dottore is him with an adopted child, especially if his intent is just to have an assistant who's dependent on him. Mainly because he would constantly be telling himself that he shouldn't get attached, reminding the child not to call him "father" or "dad" but rather "doctor". But he ends up getting attached anyway when he sees said child gets super excited seeing something they worked hard on work out as planned. He realizes it and goes "well shit."

I also think the interactions between him and the other Harbingers would be, Really funny.

"There seems to be some mortal instincts that haven't yet abandoned me."

"You got attached."

"You know absolutely nothing about me, shut your mouth immediately."

I don't think he would realize it right away though, maybe he would get upset at the child growing up, trying to show they can do things on their own, like getting breakfast for themselves, he suddenly feels, Really Upset because hes like, "do they not need me anymore?" but then the child can't do a mundane task without his help and he's just mentally, "stupid brat can't even tie their shoes, I'll be fine." I feel like it would only be when he stops correcting the child when they call him "dad" or whatever is when he knows he really got attached.

I feel like, even if he's still reprimanding himself to not feel sympathy or love for the child, he'd keep them away from the more... biological experiments. I feel like probably one of the if not the most intelligent person in genshin impact would acknowledge the type of developmental impact that could have on a 6 year old or something, but he's totally not attached wdym

- 🎈 anon

(x) Il Dottore considers himself someone who's exceptional at predicting things, always many steps ahead, but this is one thing he could have never seen for himself in the future. A child dropped on his doorstep by his fellow Harbinger, adoption papers somehow already signed by that damn banker. The thing staring up at him with wide, curious eyes and also playing with the long glowing thing that hangs from his clothes. Well, this certainly wasn't what he had in store for the year.

In the beginning, he's rather exasperated because what does he do with this child. He barely takes care of himself much less a kid. When the kid starts doing strange kid things how does he deal with that. The child is probably a wee bit scared of him at first (the intimidating stare with his neck craned down doesn't help) but you eventually encourage the bb to try spending time with their "father." When he starts seeing the child peeking through the crack in the door he ignores them at first, but the gasps and awes at all the "cool things" he does, make him leave the door open wider and wider, every day.

And then instead of the doorway, the child is watching from a chair. And then next to him. And then in his arms. And then trying the same things (safely) with their tiny hands. Even you could not have predicted him getting so attached. Pantalone and Bina 100% make fun of him for that, Dottore despises it and it's even worse when they come around and the child is insistent on clinging to him while the two look on in amusement. He doesn't like admitting how he's grown a "small" soft spot for the child, but as the years go by and the fact the child still lives in the lab, it's really obvious.

There have been times when you have walked in on him and the child bonding (although he vehemently denies it). Dottore accidentally fell asleep with the child who's cuddled into his chest, and you just smile before pulling the blankets over and joining them. And he wakes up to his "family." He despises how much this feeling affects him... but he... likes it.

[unboundprompts]

Hi! Thank you so much for your wonderful blog! Could you please do prompts from songs that feel ✨orange✨? Some energetic, bright, optimistic lines would be so nice! Thank you in advance!

Orange Prompts

-> writing prompts from songs that feel orange. feel free to edit as you see fit.

"I don't know the way, but I know that I belong out here on this journey that I never thought I'd make." - The Color of the Sky by Thrice

"Welcome to the land of the permanent sun where the flowers are melted and the future is fun." - The Valley of The Pagans (feat. Beck) by Gorillas, Beck

"You are the bullet in my head." - Spiderhead by Cage The Elephant

"You are my radio. Turn you up when I feel low. You are the soundtrack to all I know. You are the rock to my roll." - Rock To My Roll by Anarbor

"How can I help it if I like the way she makes me feel?" - Break Up Every Night by The Chainsmokers

"You know I talk too much. Honey, come put your lips on mine, and shut me up." - Talk too Much by COIN

"Who needs money when love is gold." - Rock To My Roll by Anarbor

"I turn each day into night, I stand there waiting for you." - Natives by blink-182

"Let's go paint the town on our way home." - Razzmatazz by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

'You're only going up from here." - Bummerland by AJR

"Well, he talks like an angel, but he looks like me." - Brazil by Declan McKenna

"Lovin' you's a recipe for disaster, hurts like hell but damn it's fuckin' heavenly." - Crazy by Makeout

"If I'm feeling right, I'll go out tonight and meet some strangers like me." - High Low by The Unlikely Candidates

"Tell me where we were and what we did last night." - Suicide Sunday by The Friday Night Boys

"You got to know that I meant it when I said that I liked you." - Ghost by Confetti

"In your head, I'm a junkie for your desperate love." - My Heart Needs to Breathe by The Faim

"Nothing has changed, he is the same." - He Is The Same by Jon Bellion

"I've found love in the strangest place." - Problems by Mother Mother

"We'll be the envy of the gods above." - The Cult of Dionysus by The Orion Experience, ORION, Linda XO

"Loving is easy when everything's perfect. Please don't change a single little thing for me." - Loving is Easy by Rex Orange County, Benny Sings

"What keeps me sane is you." - Paradise by Bear Ghost

"Well, maybe I'm a mess. And maybe I'm depressed. And maybe I'll just find out who I am, and I don't like who it is. And I'm a wreck. I do it for the sex. And maybe I gotta realize this is as good as it gets." - Good As It Gets by Little Hurt

[autisticlee]

words are hard. explaining is hard. remember that while reading

the amount of disabled people on thos website who make posts going against each other makes me so sad. there's too many posts of "such and such people/random person are talking over people like me and making us look/feel bad, but they're wrong and not suffering as much so need to shut up!" can we stop invalidating each other because you claim they're invalidating you by speaking about their struggles????? can we all support each other instead????? ableism within disabled community here is awful.

I get it. sometimes people say a thing and you think it takes away from you or makes you feel bad. but that doesn't mean they did it on purpose/everyone with their condition is doing it on purpose. doesn't mean they know you and your feelings. doesn't mean their feeling is invalid because it hurt yours! and if it's just a thing you saw on tiktok, don't blame entirety of people with the condition because one or two people on tiktok don't speak for everyone! (not everyone uses tiktok either so don't act like everyone is getting info from there)

it's so frustrating and disappointing! can't say anything on here without upsetting and offending another disabled person because many different or new reasons every day! like you didn't mention that they have it worse or say yourself isn't suffering as much. or you use a phrase or word thar helps you but another group gatekeeps it. or you're simply "talking over" people you don't even know that decided you don't suffer and struggle enough because they "have it worse" and want you to talk about THEM and not just yourself. on your own blog. but somehow know to mention them and advicate for them so they don't have to or something???? is confusing.

words are hard. hard to explain this!!! but is frustrating and upsetting to see many disabled people here targeting each other more than ableds. example there's many posts of physical disabled vs ND, acting like being ND can't be disability. do you want to borrow my brain and see if it disables you more????? sometimes see opposite where ND is harder than physical disability. do you want to borrow my body and see if you can live easily??? see many physical disabled vs other physical disabled, example "cane user can't complain because I need wheelchair!" type things. or ND vs ND "I have more ND than you because I cant do *thing* alone but you can so you can't complain about struggling because you're talking over my bigger struggles"

I GET IT. everyone wants to feel valid and not feel talked over and all that stuffs. but stop fighting each other!!!!! stop invalidating each other because you feel invalidated/assume they are trying to invalidate you. is nothing but invalidating loop!!!! stop assuming everyone must talk about you and your struggle before their own because you think their voice shared means yours is blocked. stop having disability "Olympics" in which you jump through metaphoric hoops to prove you're more disabled and deserve most attention and more voice and everyone below is taking that away! learn how to support each other because we know ableds don't like supporting us!!!!!! we all suffer and struggle. why act like fellow disableds don't or arent allowed!! 😭😭😭😭😭 this is for both people that use tiktok to do "quirky" stuff or are able to push through struggles and want to act like everyone can too. and people with higher support needs that think lesser needs have super easy life and talk over them if they make post about their struggles. I see both!!!! a lot!!

never see anyone talk about ableism within disabled community and how it is bad for all of us!!!! but sure see lot of.......

I know. i'm bad at words. dont try to misunderstanding and attack and be mad at me! if you experience real problem with this you are valid in your feel. you can feel! but maybe don't do generalizing and invalidate all because one person or a few or tiktok did or said things you don't like. that make sense???

[starlightdelrey]

axe throwing - a.v + h.m

spoilers for heart break high season one and two !!!!!

anthony vaughn x harper mclean

request: hi !! could you do a sweet first date type fic for ant and harper ?? i dont really see a lot of love for them so far but I AM OBSESSED! I was thinking maybe they'd go axe throwing for a first date since harper mentioned she wanted to go. ant is lowkey scared he's going to get a limb cut off then overcompensates w the bravado just bc he can see how much she's enjoying herself. u dont have to do this at all obviously but it was just some thoughts i had popping up

in which two of the hartley kids finally get a moment of peace together (or ant thinks he's gonna lose his arm)

lowercase intended

hbh masterlist + main masterlist

cw: mentions of past trauma, mostly fluff, end of season 2, i basically made up my own timeline to make it work, ive never been to axe throwing so i made some stuff up, not proofread !!!!

---

the hartley high kids were stuck in a sort of limbo - since the school had burn down not even two weeks before the term break, the school board had decided everybody deserved an extended break to help 'unpack their trauma'. almost everyone thought it was a load of bullshit but couldn't fight having almost a month off school.

harper had been struggling, although she'd never admit it to anyone. it was unfair - every time she almost healed from one experience, a brand new one happened. darren had recently been going through a housewife phase, and in one cooking attempt, they'd accidentally set off the fire alarm. it caused the blonde to shut down for almost 24 hours, the experience of being locked in a smoke-filled projection room taking over her thoughts.

ant had accidentally been a lurker for quite a few of these mini events - like witnessing chook stare down harper at the housewarming party. when woodsy had called for harper and amerie during the fire, his whole body had been filled with a sense of dread (although he'd never tell harper how he'd fought to try and get to her).

the two decided to keep everything between them as light as possible, which had led to today's activity being set up.

harper dashed out of her shared home with darren and ca$h (their fake moans and tips for safe sex following her) and started up her borrowed car from robert.

when she drove up to ants place, he was sat outside, waiting already. harper couldn't fight the grin that stretched across her face as he wandered over to the passenger side. anthony had taken the concept of axe throwing and lumberjacks very seriously, and had dressed for the part - a plaid button up tossed, un-buttoned, over a cropped white tank top and a pair of baggy jeans.

he got in and immediately leant forward to kiss the blonde, and she pulled away with a smirk. "what's with the gay lumberjack cosplay?"

"i'm breaking lumberjack stereotypes, harps. be happy for me." but he glanced at her with a lazy grin and she shook her head, trying not to get distracted.

as they drove, ant insisted on being on aux. this meant that when spider called him, the audio was put on speaker.

"heya, spider."

"ant, you'll never-"

"hey spider!" harper piped up chirpily, and spiders whole demeanour over the phone changed.

"fuck off, harper."

"wait until i tell missy what you just said, dickhead. don't think i won't steal your girl." harper grinned as she said it, and ant turned to her quickly.

"hey!"

"you wish, harps."

---

"i actually don't think we need to throw axes," ant stood stiffly, his gloves shoved in his pocket and axe in one hand.

harper, who was in the middle of putting her safety glasses on, paused and stared. "what?"

"i just like- don't feel like losing an arm today. ya' know?" he looked at her hopefully, and harper raised a brow.

"don't worry, baby. i'll protect you."

the nickname flicked a switch in his mind, and immediately, ant was back to his usual antics. "no need, m'lady. i will be protecting you."

glasses on, harper turned to stick her tongue out at him - only to be met with the flash of a camera. "ew, ant. i look proper munted with these on. delete that."

he didn't respond, and to be fair, she didn't really care all that much anyways. the two walked forward with their safety gear fully on, prepared to let out some of their anger.

at first, they mess around a bit, until harper finally gets her axe to actually hit the target. from then on, it's a full-on war - they're making up mini competitions, tallying points, and getting into arguments.

halfway through, harper's got 12,368 points while ant has -12.

"we should totally turn our competition into a drinking game, harps. it would be so fun."

"and dangerous." harper braces herself and launches her axe at the target. "ant, we suck balls right now - imagine what it'd be like if everyone was drunk?"

"oh. ohhhhhhhh! yeah, i didn't even think of that."

"of course you didn't, babe."

ant grabs harper and yanks her closer to him, hugging her. some employee chides them for being dangerous.

"you're so pretty, harper." he's looking down at her, grinning, harpers cheeks are pink.

"you're not so bad yourself, anthony." her hand wraps around the back of his neck and pulls him closer.

---

"i cannot believe that we seriously got kicked out for making out!" harper exclaims in the car, pulling out of the parking lot.

"it was totally worth it." ant's still dazed, and he fumbles plugging his phone in.

it goes silent except for the frank ocean playing in the background, until ants phone buzzes with a notification. on instinct, harper's eyes flick to the screen - and her heart jolts.

his lock screen is a recent picture - one of harper, eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched. her tongues poking out and her hairs a little wild, but she looks happy.

"ant! is that the picture you just took of me?"

"of course it is. can't get it out of my head, it's seriously driving me crazy." he looks down at the picture, a slight blush on his face.

"you just wait until i get a new picture of you, vaughn."

---

[bharv]

Hello mighty mizora! Big fan here of your work the way you write is so mesmerizing honestly im always in awe!! I have a small question i hope its not annoying i've asked this question to another writer who i liked once but they were so mean to me back so i understand that maybe its not the best question to be asked but i have ADHD and i need alittle direction so i hope maybe you can give me some (its totally okay if you dont want to ! ) Do you have any pointers to someone who has never wrote anything past school essays and to do lists if they want to start writing fanfiction and have it be nice and expressive? I have so many ideas i write them down write 5 sentences thats like a summray maybe a few sentences of some scenes of romance sorta like a small outline it feels so dry... And i dont know what to do past that... Essays had structures and preferred starting intros and all that but i feel lost when i try and start a story, i know myself and i know once i start i will not shut up but starting feels like a wall and i dont know how to climb yk ?

Hey pal!

Firstly thank you so much and also I'm sorry you had a bad experience with another writer. You've asked this so nicely. And apologies for this being delayed I thought I had clicked post but I'd saved the draft again!

So I'm not going to claim to be an expert in this but the way I approach this is:

I start with what I want to say with a piece. What do I want to explore? What do I hope the reader will take away from it? I then jot those down for myself at the top of the document, just like you describe with your summary! If this changes as I discover things that's okay, but it's kind of my road map.

I usually also start in the middle of some action, or with a line of dialogue. Honestly you don't have to do this at all but the joy of fanfiction is you don't have to do loads of exposition! People know who the characters are and you can dive into things! It means you get stuck right in which I personally like.

I also don't write chronologically! I think we can get so stuck on things. I think of writing a story like pruning a garden, so I might write some "holding sentences" per scene and then work on scenes as they come to me. It's a good way to build up the bits as you are inspired. You can see this really clearly in a piece like Blood and Bone which is very sparse, some of the holding sentences in that fic are still in there.

When it comes to dialogue, I use the actioning method used in acting and I work out what people want to do by saying something. I like when characters don't say things outright, but say a hundred words by what they don't say. A character can say I love you, and it's good, but what if they say I don't want you to leave? What is left in the gaps?

When it comes to description I think I have a long way to go honestly but again. What are people seeing, smelling, tasting, seeing touching? What is their primary sense? Does it evoke anything else for them, or are they entirely in the moment? This can vary from character to character.

Another thing to think of is variant rhythm. Once you have a first draft down, go over it again and look at sentence structure. Can you add variation by changing the length of sentences? Can you tell a story in the rhythms you use? I'm a big fan of long run on sentences in romance showing a character losing control, for example.

And the big secret honestly is... you might well find your writing a bit dry! I find mine dry! I look at it squinting, asking whether the sex is sexy or if it's just way too out there or just completely misses the mark. We only really know when other eyes get to see it.

I hope that's helpful!

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Vampire Captures Vampire Hunter to Use as Bloodbag part 9

Warnings: blood, kidnapped human, starvation, recovery whump

So he called her number, bracing himself for the harsh berating he knew was coming.

It rang only twice. "I haven't seen this number on my screen in awhile," a sing-songy voice teased.

"Anisa. I have... a dilemma," Alex coughed awkwardly.

"Ah, so you're only calling because you need something from me." Anisa's tone turned dry.

"No! Well, yes -- but that's not the only reason! I wanted to hear your lovely voice again!" Alex sputtered defensively.

"Three centuries, and you're still the worst liar I know," Anisa laughed through the phone. "You'd think you'd have gotten some experience over the years to get better at it... but regardless, why are you calling?"

Alex chewed his lip, mulling over the words in his head. "I... sort of caught a human. And it's locked in my basement at the moment."

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Anisa's voice shrieked indignantly. There was some muffled cursing before her voice returned. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"I need your advice, since I know you have a human partner..." Alex couldn't help shuddering at the thought. "My human says he needs food and water since I haven't given him any in three days, but I don't have the foggiest idea what to get him. And... I think he's dying."

"Are you SERIOUS?" Anisa shrilled. "Do you not know ANYTHING about humans?!"

"That's what I'm calling you for," Alex snapped defensively. "You know a lot about humans. What should I do? How do I care for my human?"

"Ugh, you're so ignorant it's astonishing," Anisa groaned loudly over the phone. "I'm going to drive over to your house right now and assess the situation for myself. Then I'll tell you how to care for the human."

"That's... not necessary," Alex protested. He knew she would not be happy to see the condition Mallory was in.

"Shut up." Alex was surprised by the anger in his friend's voice as she barked at him. "I'm coming over. Period. You'll probably kill that poor human without my help.”

Alex knew where was no arguing with that tone, but he couldn't help feeling a flicker of annoyance at how concerned Anisa sounded. His human was a hunter, the natural enemy of vampires. It wasn't right for a vampire to be so obsessively worried about one.

"Fine," Alex sighed. "I'll be waiting at the door." Then he hung up, rubbing his face in frustration. He'd barely had his human for three days, and he was already spectacularly messing up. When he'd first brought the man back from the vampire nightclub, he thought it would be fun and entertaining. But now he had to work to keep it alive? So unfair. Keeping a live human was proving to be more difficult than he'd expected. But fresh blood was so much better than stale, pre-packaged blood... so maybe it would be worth the trouble.

⏪️ Back Next ⏩️

Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @i-don't-know-sal @togzy

@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222 @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @whump-queen

@floral-comet-whump

[seaweedbraens]

To all the show doubters: you CANNOT say the final episode wasn’t absolutely great. Very few major issues, and actually lived up to the books (mostly)!

i obviously have like 16 full length essays in my head but imma spare y’all that for now.

i speak as a show doubter here. i havent watched the show yet because i have a grad review in 2 weeks that i'm supposed to be working on and i simply dont have the TIME to binge an entire show without feeling a truckload of guilt afterwards.

nothing against you, or anyone who enjoys the show! but i accidentally saw a clip from the final episode that INFURIATED me.

it's luke's betrayal, and somehow....annabeth was there. i don't want to comment on anyone's acting because this is just one scene and i don't want to be too harsh. but my issue is that annabeth was there at all.

first off - if she was there, there is no WAYYYYYYYYY annabeth's first instinct would be to attack luke if she overheard him. this is her FAMILY, the one person she truly felt she knew and who she felt knew her. she'd be stunned, man. not defiant in the face of his betrayal. look at the books! she rushes to hold the sky for him, making that decision in the brief moment it causes him pain!

anyway:

annabeth being absent is the POINT. in the books, she doesnt see luke leave, she doesnt know/understand his reasoning, and ON TOP OF ALL THAT she has to wait for like a week for percy to wake up and tell her how things went down. during that week she has to come to terms with the fact that 1. luke's left her and the camp, 2. he attacked percy, 3. he's joined kronos, and 4. he didn't care about her enough to give her an explanation or even say goodbye.

i feel like this DIRECTLY leads into her attitude towards him in EVERY. OTHER. PJO. BOOK following the first one. she is desperate for answers, desperate to believe that there's still some good in him. she wants to hear it from him. she wants to SAVE him. she defends him from percy's judgement MULTIPLE TIMES, tells him percy didn't know him, but she did. she truly believes he's just lost his way. she doesn't understand how he's fallen because she wasn't there to see it. and when she finally does, it's STILL hard for her to process.

i feel like her being there just ruins a lot of that. or maybe i'm just being overly nitpicky. which...that's kinda my thing. wcwsthwas exists because i'm nitpicky.

i don't want to diminish anyone's experience if it's been a positive one, least of all yours because i really do appreciate your inputs! this is just me ranting here because that scene bugged me so much. maybe the rest of the show is great and i'll be eating my words soon enough. i guess we'll have to see!

i'm sorry if this is very harsh - i don't want to offend anyone! i'm ecstatic you like the show, and i don't want to shut anyone down. i know i come off as a rick riordan hater (which i kinda am), but i wouldnt be writing pjo fic if i didn't have a lot of love for the universe he's created. i want to hear all the opinions - the good and the bad. please feel free to share any thoughts in my askbox.

[hesitatingspirit]

I. Boy v. World

it feels like the world is against me sometimes.

and i dont know how to make it clear that i just want to be left alone. say hi my name is adam nice to meet you please dont hurt me im just a boy please i just want to be treated like one of you. you dont have to even talk to me but if you refer to me just maybe say he but if not its okay & i’m still too aggressive. say nothing at all and i’m just too difficult to even bother with at all. loser from the start, this is an eternal summer and you’re god’s least favourite cold-blooded experiment. strap in and enjoy the ride: you’ll be here for a long time.

If I am offended by someone calling me a woman, I am too much. I am one of those trannies that makes everything about them, the spitting image of the blue-haired, big-mouthed, angry-faced caricatures of trans individuals created by the right. If I am not offended, I am making a bad name for my fellow trans siblings by not standing up for myself when people misidentify me. I am normalising the idea that people are allowed to “mess up” on purpose, label me as whatever they want. I can never win: The only way would be to never get misgendered again. To not even have it be a possibility…

But we all know that this can never happen.

No matter what I do, I am always wrong,

because what did I expect when I chose to do this?

I mean,

Everyone knows how the world feels about people like me.

What DID I expect?

Would it have been easier for me to just stay a girl?

Easier for which one of us?

The world is run by spiders weaving complex webs of lies and careful misinformation, all vague enough to seem true to those who only catch the news in passing and parrot it at work, conversing at the water coolers. But being wrong is a disease, and baby, it's contagious: Mask up and shut your mouth and maybe even your ears too.

They are just trying to provoke me. They want to make me step out of line, so when I finally say “hey im a bit uncomfortable” They can finally say

I knew there was something about him!

He is one of those, he lied!

He DOES make his identity his whole personality!

No. It seems that my identity has become YOUR personality,

because my gender defines everyone but me:

The way people react to my face usually tells me all I need to know.

I can recognise a cold gaze from around the corner,

through a brick wall and from a mile away

I'm a psychic, honey, and I'm never gonna change,

so dont shoot the Messenger, okay?

and it goes like this it goes

boy with mustache makes a face when stranger calls him a girl

boy with mustache apologises for the trouble in case stranger noticed

stranger scoffs i dont see why it's such a big deal you can't expect everyone to understand

boy says i know and i’m sorry

boy goes home and forgets what he looks like.

It kinda goes like this:

different place wake up with a different face who am i today well everyone sees different things

but you know me i ride my own wave, this is My summer soundtrack

i am a skateboarder i am a stoner i am a rockstar

i am a bleach blond baby boy abandoned by god and i will never die again

mask after mask name after name

another ring around my eyes after another night awake

bags full of sleep deprived weekends staying busy with a racing head

lids heavy with the memories of endless nights

it’ll weigh me down ‘til i’m lowered into my early grave

and all the brick roads and sunsets up in my favourite singer’s hometown will never hit me the same

ghosts see the world differently,

ever so slightly colourblind

translucent lids half-covering eyes that have grown so tired from all they’ve seen

an eternity an observer

an eternity more to go

the people who care what you look like or hate what you listen to aren't really people that should be in your life anyway. so i don't care too much when they cut me off.

i don't care at all,

i just find it so insane that somehow i'm hurting people by being alive. by breathing.

if i enjoyed the shapes of the words she and her in your mouth if i enjoyed the twang of their sound waves if i could love the way the words hit my eardrums then my existence would be pure, a gift from god and i would be a miracle

but because i stand up for myself

because i have committed the crime of wanting to be happy

i am irredeemably evil

forever unclean,

stain on society and a file best left unopened.

top secret, confidential. don't ask, don't tell, but tell them what you don't know, tell them what you want to think. don't ask, don't tell, but they’ll always ask, and you’ll always tell.

“we don’t talk about her anymore.”

“she went crazy.”

“i heard it was drugs that did it.”

“i heard it was schizophrenia.”

“i think she was into witchcraft.”

god forbid a boy want to be loved: god forbid i avenge my death.

porcelain is so easily cracked,

you don't think i have a right to self defense?

i have to crawl out of my grave because this city is all i know. and this place can get so damn cold.

my rebirth will be slow. it will be terrible. and it is commencing.