#you didn't even have to pay to see this
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LEON
LEON YOUR EYEBALLS
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#ride kamens episode 14 spoilers#can't believe i made a joke about it being his eye color AND THEN#i did see his updated sprite before i got to 13 but i didn't even notice it at first...#at least he also got a funky little face marking to go with it#shine on you super shitsuji!!!!#anyway I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP#on main story anyway i haven't played the tower emblem event yet :')#but man i am loving this game#i was not expecting it to be a full-on mystery! with intrigue!#who is lying! who is telling the truth! who THINKS they're telling the truth but isn't!#punctuated by the most delightful nonsense like the unbreakable magic superhero covenants#where you gotta touch rings in the magical wedding chapel dimension that we teleport to sometimes to talk to our dead dad#(OR IS HE???????)#NO IT'S GREAT (and it does make sense in context i just love it)#still 50/50 on yellow beyblade man secretly being our dad but i can't get into theories now i don't have enough tags#man this really has the essence of what i love about rider ❤️#so far i do think agata is my favorite#but then there's leon...#let me put it this way: i would tell agata a hard truth about himself if i thought he needed to hear it#but there is no amount of money in the world you could pay me to say anything even slightly mean to our sweet leon#LET 👏 HIM 👏 HENSHIN 👏#WAIT SHOOT is it too late to redo my survey answers i need to demand that i be able to put hats on leon
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The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.
#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is#a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good#personal#“this war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting drafted” idk how to explain to you that we should be angry#that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign#also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg#i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant#parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice#this is getting into convos of “what 2nd gen kids owe their parents” which is different for everyone but. yeah#i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as “wealthy” and “privileged” and “elite” when it's such a blatant li#i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive#so they have to find temporary housing around the area#last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis#during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences#and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too?#this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either.#this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first#reaction is “HAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!”#newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know.#why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed
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the fucking. contrast between 'For a moment, our gazes held as we mingled in unity. One person. We had always been one person. Nighteyes had voiced it long ago. It was good to be whole again.' and 'I am content' like????? killing myslrf
#robin hobb you will PAY#the way . the way fitz doesn't fucking speak of beloved after he receives the gifts EVEN THO he knows he will probably never see him again#so desperate to appear content soo so desperate to be whole again but everything he does from the point on is shallow is hollow is not. rea#he doesn't even LET HIMSELF THINK ABOUT IT!!!! he doesn't even fucking describe not even once mourning beloved EVEN THO there's absolutely#no doubt that he's morning bc beloved was actually ACTUALLY one half of him and even the THOUGHT of beloved leaving him left him feeling#like he was dying like his fucking blood was draining away and yet and yet he DELIBERATELY skips months and months only focusing on molly#but even that is so so so halfhearted this is the supposed love of his life we r talking about and yet it doesn't feel SINCERE !!! it#doesn't feel like him and only at the end does he acknowledge beloved again COMPARING HIM TO THE BOND HE SHARED W NIGHTEYES WHO WAS YK ONE#HALF OF HIS SOUL AND BOND FOR LIFE AND SAYING HE WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER LIKE BELOVED BC HELL NEVER EVER GET OVER HIM#and that is the ONLY time it feels like he's sincere in fucking two chapters and i. 'i am content' ??? CONTENT?????????????#he didn't get a happily ever after he got an ever after he had to make peace with. i cant do this#fool's errand#rote#rote spoilers#fitzloved#fitzchivalry farseer#the fool#beloved
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As a big sibling with a lil sib with epilepsy, when they read TBC they Honestly thought if they got struck with lightning reciting the lord's prayer they'd be cured like Shadowsight is from their epilepsy. I had a discussion with them on how that's not how it works, but ge was so upset they took it away from Shadowsight that he hasn't picked the books back up and has stated that 'he hopes Ashfur wins and starts a new religion.,'
I do not even know how to respond to this besides saying that your little sibling is 100% right to be pissed and I now also hope Ashfur wins and starts a new religion.
#Legit I did not know that Shadow's epilepsy being taken away was so deeply upsetting to SO MANY people#I put it back because putting it back was just the right thing to do (even asked the small following I had at the time what type to portray#(they picked the full tonic-clonics. I would have just done localized or absence if they'd asked me to)#And I did all that research for one single anon who asked for an epilepsy herb guide#So holy cow I didn't know that SO MANY people were snubbed and upset by canon's choice to do that. I'm so sorry#Your little sib isn't missing anything btw they do just go on to confirm that Shadow no longer has seizures.#In book 4 of TBC they say that it was all Ash all along and that's what they've stuck with into ASC#I'm sitting on an essay about... That plot thread. The Ashfur Grooming one#But it's in my drafts because I was a bit afraid of controversy#because i think it was written poorly. Even on top of Book 4's pivot to retcon away Shadow's seizures#I know a lot of people like and are invested in the grooming subplot of TBC. But. I think it was executed AWFULLY#and its really telling that THIS is the plot they tout as grooming *by name* in-canon.--#--and that Shadow has to 'pay' for what he 'did' in some way as if there was ever a choice in the books they wrote--#--But seemingly didn't even seem to clock that what was happening in Spotted's H was grooming until there was intense backlash#and a big part of my contention is the way that Book 4 suddenly tries to retcon that Shadow was groomed from the time he was a child#when it was actually part of book 1 that Shadow was able to personally tell the difference between a real vision and Ash's suggestions--#--BECAUSE he didn't have an accompanying seizure#So like... just know it's also NOT just 'you' if you connected to the character that was epileptic. It WAS there. It was a BIG part of him#Book 4 retconned it so that his epilepsy was part of a long scheme when before that point it was part of him#''ohh ur destiny is to see into the shadows'' BULL SHIT!!#bone babble
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#my desserts#okay the hot dog and hamburgers aren't my design they're one of the standard designs we're supposed to make#and about a week ago we were having a store tour#which is essentially when a bunch of rich people from higher up in the company come walk around the store#so everyone has to work way harder to make everything perfect and jam pack the shelves with food#so that they can look at it#and they send in people who's job it is to micro manage everything in the lead up to them coming#and they always insist on coming on like a monday or tuesday so most of that stuff expires and goes in the garbage#like if they at least came on like a thursday we could be prepped for the weekend rush#it costs a lot of money too like my manager owns the store and he personally has to pay for like#getting everything professionally cleaned and the extra hours and the extra product#and this was like the 6th visit in the past year! usually you get 1 or 0 visits in a year! why do they keep coming back!!!!#and this visit they were adamant about having those hot dog and hamburger cupcakes out as 6 packs#and if you're going to do 6 packs anything less than 24 packs looks pathetic#those of you who can do multiplication know that that is 144 cupcakes#and those of you with keen eyes can see that the bun is made by cutting off the top of the cupcake. which is very tedious#those cupcakes took me THREE HOURS to do#then as soon as they went out on the floor someone placed an order for 24 6 packs this coming weekend so that took me three more hours 😑#anyway after all that the higher ups didn't even come. they had 'dinner reservations'#but yeah making 16 to sell individually isn't so bad
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You know, I would love it if we could see Mihawk just. Get slightly fucked up by someone, have his sword stolen and watch him figure out how to fight with some random ass sword instead
I just think. It'd be neat.
Like we kinda know how The World's Greatest Swordsman fights with his itty bitty knife, we know what kind of damage he can do with his iconic Yoru
I just think it'd be fun to see him fight with a regular katana and try to get his stolen sword back or summin' IDK
#Moon posting#Cross Guild#Mihawk#OP Spoilers#OP Meta#IDK something something Cross Guild can't pay for Garp's bounty so Blackbeard's crew goes and attacks them#Kidnaps Crocodile and Buggy to steal their abilities and takes Mihawk as captive to see if he'll join BB or not#Steal his sword in the meantime to give to his crew as a toy to play with or something#I don't know there's something about this scenario that facinates me#Also if Luffy and co went to save Garp from Blackbeard I could imagine a scenario where the crew find CG in the prison#And free them. And could you imagine Mihawk asking Zoro to borrow one of his swords while he goes gets his back or summin#I JUST THINK IT'D BE NEAT#This scenario facinates me. I would love to see it#Especially since we didn't really get to see that much of Zoro and Mihawk interacting so like. It'd be cute#Also like GENERALLY SPEAKING I would just love to see Mihawk in a 1v1 duel with someone OTHER THAN ZORO#(Or Shanks)#I dunno I think Mihawk is just Neat but we barely get to see him Do Things so it'd be so fun to see him Do Things#Break Week is hitting hard. It's been So Many Months and we still have no idea where the CG subplot is going#I can only speculate and make 50 different suggestions for where the story could go from here#(I say ''break week is hitting hard'' on the Friday evening after 1101 was released unofficially)#(This week is gonna be rough y'all lmao)
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#I can't believe my computer broke just a couple of days before the new chapter came out.#Not to be dramatic or anything but this was my last straw#It means everything to me 😭😭😭 My puter has my whole life in in. And endless resources of everything#That's why people tell you to backup stuff 🤦🤦🤦#Okay before I get too dramatic it's not gone like I can turn it on just fine.#Except there's no cursor to be found anywhere and I can't find a way to fix it#(Yeah it's not the f4 key I've tried that. Repeatedly)#So since there's no way to turn the puter off without mouse I had to kill it the hard way 4-5 times today#(aka every time I tried turning it on again in hope everything got fixed on its own)#And when I turned it on again five minutes ago. IT DIDN'T START NORMALLY. AND IT ASKED THE SYSTEM LANGUAGE AND STUFF#I lost like. Half my lifespan. I was terrified it got formatted out of nowhere and I had lost everything#It didn't. It seemingly is fine (from what I can see from my desktop).#But man I really didn't need this kind of stress on top of average exams depression#Idk what to do... I want to go to the guy in my dorm who studies computer science but it'd be the third time I ask him for help–#and I'm a little embarrassed now. Asking for help sucks in general#But I don't have money to pay consultation...#I think there is a chance my touchpad just worn out since. Like. I use my computer extensively#But even that seems a little excessive? Not even the buttons work. I've only had this computer for three or four years...#Anyways I don't have a physical mouse. And I can't spend money to buy it when there's a chance that wouldn't fix the problem. Ughhhhhhhhhh#random rambles#If I stop posting in the next days. It's simply because I can't 😭😭😭#Goodbye people please keep posting ss kk for me
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actually I will say this. it fucking SUCKS that the devil to pay in the backlands only ever got the one very mediocre translation. it's a really good book, and a big part of why it was so groundbreaking is that it's written like the main character (a now old "cowboy") is talking to you, with all the slang and the colloquialism and even the made up words. and then this translation just fucking. NOT does that???
for example the very first word in the book is "nonada", a made up word meant as a mash of "não é nada" (it's nothing) all into one word. in the very first word you can see that this is a guy with a strong accent and very little formality in how he speaks to the listener/reader. in the translation, it's just "it's nothing". no localization, no informality, no effort in translating the experience. sure you got the literal meaning translated right, but you threw away an entire side of the narrator's characterization!!
also it literally skipped a sentence where the narrator says he thought about holding and kissing his (guy) best friend when they were arguing. mediocre AND homophobic
#(disclaimer to any brazilians who find this post: eu não sou gringo eu só posto em inglês)#youni originals#the devil to pay in the backlands#grande sertão veredas#fuckit tagging the original title as well. who care#i have NOT read the entire translation I only read the bits I want to see if I can post. and man. why is it so bad!!#i'm glad they didn't do the shitty bad phonetic spelling books n posts do to indicate a cowboy accent. but fuck man#you could've at least tried. even 'it ain't nothing' would've been better than just plain fucking 'it's nothing'
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One criticism I have about the hotd adaptation, especially now that we're going to see more of Aegon II in action, is that I can't fully buy on his hatred of Rhaenyra because of what happened to Jaeherys. Even him cursing her felt jarring. The writers spent so much time bulding Rhaenyra and Alicent's relationship that when it comes down to Rhaenyra and her siblings, it's pretty much non-existent. And they HAD time to show us that. I can buy Aemond resenting his older half-sister for the loss of his eye, since her son was responsible for it, even though he - and everyone else both in team green stans and in-universe - ignores the fact that he was the one who was ready to bash Jace's head with a stone. So there's also that. Yet, when it comes to Aegon, even seeing the cast's interviews where Tom talks about how Aegon had always resented his sister for being the favorite, why don't we see more that? Season 1 had Aegon barely acknowledge her existence and vice-versa, even when his mother was berating and slapping the shit outta him when he was young. I can see clearly him (and Aemond, and maybe Helaena if she cares) resenting Viserys for favoring Rhaenyra, but not to the point of "oh, there she goes, father's favorite child. I hate her because father doesn't pay attention to me when she's around". So yeah, I have a lot of trouble trying to buy the conflict between siblings that was born out of a plot to usurp Rhaenyra, and a misuderstanding where his son became the target of assassination that was meant for Aemond (carried out by two very incompetent people, btw. Daemon should've tried to infiltrate that goddamn castle if he wanted the service done properly. Not to mention Ser Idiot Incel Crispy being the worst kingsguard ever getting a promotion after his absence resulted in the death of Jaeherys. Oh well, the woes of being doomed by canon, I guess.). If they ever interacted in season 1 instead of just sharing/existing in the same space at the same time, I would have buy the anger, the hatred, the pain. Now Aegon going along with Crispy's plan of sending Arryk to Dragonstone, which failed miserabliy and resulted in both twins deaths btw, just makes him sound stupid. I can't even blame Otto for being so frustrated with him (that would also be another topic on itself).
#pro team black#hotd critical#hotd spoilers#pro rhaenyra targaryen#hotd characterization#Am I supposed to buy that these two will have a fated conflict like in the books#because the tv version has a lot more tension and feelings between Alicent and Rhaenyra and they pretty much stole the spotlight#from the other relationships that could've been more explored#Aegon goes from I don't want to ursurp my sister to calling her Bitch Queen of Bastards and thinking she's laughing at his pain#why didn't we see him reacting to the news of Luke's death???#why am I supposed to feel his pain and loss when he was talking that they should've killed Rhaenyra when they had the chance?#bitch what kind of development is this??#*barfs*#your mama has more interaction onscreen with your sister than you#you don't even KNOW HER to know she's making fun of your pain#hadn't she been usurped I bet she wouldn't even pay attention to you existing#Viserys look at this mess you left as your legacy and resulted in all of your children dead#*siiigh*
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#tbh this post is just to make you look at the new divorced dog poser#Look at it.#but yeah ive been having fun with the group object options lately.#I wish there was a way to like. Give the models i make out for people to download directly#that didn't require me to pay 15$ a month and everyone who wants them to Also pay 15$#bc idk. They never show up in the search.#They've all been made public but just never show up when i look for them even after being public for over a year#idk i think i just need to bug people on the discord to see what im doing wrong#that apurva model isnt available tho. thats just Honse and snake (just the head) with some spheres and cylinders for marking#out the wings and tail#also those first theee posers are meant to be used together with the hamster eating a banana meme🙏
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I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life
#like that's the point where we need to remind everyone around me that as much as I say#radio is 'a job'-- it's not 'my job' lol. I wish I was this interested in data science#but like. Honestly?? I'm not even a data scientist!? I answered a few questions about classical AI having come from a computer science back#background and now people are saying to me 'I know you're a data scientist and not a programmer' sir I am a computer scientist#what are you on about#and like I guess I get to google things and they're paying me so I'm not complaining but like I am not a data scientist#my biggest data scientist moment was when I asked 'do things in data science ever make sense???' and a bunch of data scientists went#'no :) Welcome to the club' ???????#why did I do a whole ass computer science degree then. Does anyone at all even want that anymore. Has everything in the realm of#computer science just been Solved. What of all the problems I learned and researched about. Which were cool. Are they just dead#Ugh the worst thing the AI hype has done rn is it has genuinely required everyone to pretend they're a data scientist#even MORE than before. I hate this#anyway; I wish I didn't hate it and I was curious and talked to many people in the field#like it's tragicomedy when every person I meet in music is like 'you've got to pursue this man you're a great interviewer blah blah blah'#and like I appreciate that this is coming from people who themselves have/are taking a chance on life#but. I kinda feel like my career does not exist anymore realistically so unless 1) commercial radio gets less shitty FAST#2) media companies that are laying off 50% of their staff miraculously stop or 3) Tom Power is suddenly feeling generous and wants#a completely unknown idiot to step into the biggest fucking culture show in the country (that I am in no way qualified for)#yeah there's very very little else. There's nothing else lol#Our country does not hype. They don't really care for who you are. f you make a decent connection with them musically they will come to you#Canada does not make heroes out of its talent. They will not be putting money into any of that. Greenlight in your dreams.#this is something I've been told (and seen) multiple times. We'll see it next week-- there are Olympic medallists returning to uni next wee#no one cares: the phrase is 'America makes celebrities out of their sportspeople'; we do not. Replace sportspeople with any public professi#Canada does not care for press about their musicians. The only reason NME sold here was because Anglophilia not because of music journalism#anyway; personal
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Buy me a coffee
THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR LIKE TWO HOURS ASKING FOR THINGS IS LITERALLY MY WORST FEAR BUT FUCK IT WE BALL
my mum could really use £30-40 for groceries. We've spent a lot of money fixing stuff this month like replacement pipes and central heating (that really should be our landlord's responsibility..). She only has £150 left but we've still got bills to pay later this month so not much to spend on food and other necessities. Universal credit + her wage doesn't get paid until the end of the month (something is coming next week too but idr) 🥲
Usually we ask family and close friends for borrowing money but no one has been able to lend any aaa
No pressure to donate whatsoever — but if you have some extra money, any support would be greatly appreciated mwah <3
#minimum wage paired with her being a single parent and all that isn't really the best combination but eh#If it weren't for everything breaking at once I wouldn't have to ask#Anyway I need to shit on my landlord for a sec because I'm so pissed off#He doesn't fix anything (or at least takes a long time — he's been “fixing” our fence for thr past 4 years because its soo expensive and#otherwise he can't go on his quarterly holiday 🥺)#And he still has the audacity to raise rent every year when we've been renting for 10+ years now and never missed a payment#How do you go from £900 to £1500 a month for 2 bedrooms#We even pay a day in advance just in case something doesn't work or we can't pay later#But the one time she payed at 10 in the morning on the day he automatically started asking if its been transferred bc he can't see it#Even though its any time during the 24h and then the grace period#Its in the contract that YOU WROTE erm#Maybe stuff wouldn't be breaking all the time if you actually invested in high quality pieces#When we signed the first contract he literally bought the house 2 days prior and didn't renovate anything lmao#lasar being incoherent
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me: how about...natori contracting some kind of youkai illness & matoba finding out about it & showing up to his set & natori dragging him off to his trailer bc it would be bad for his sparkly reputation to make the angry faces he feels coming on in front of his coworkers & matoba offering to help but in that smarmy condescending way that raises natori's hackles so he refuses but unfortunately he doesn't know how to cure it so matoba just keeps showing up every day & natori keeps carting him off to the trailer every time & being suuuuper cagey when people ask him who his visitor is & what if his coworkers get the wrong idea & matoba is fully aware of this & what if one day in the trailer natori reluctantly agrees to let matoba help him & matoba's like okay fine off with your shirt i gotta paint this spell circle on your bare chest & what if he's in the middle of doing that when they hear somebody opening the door to the trailer & obviously they don't want anyone to know what they're actually doing in there bc youkai-exorcist confidentiality so matoba's like no worries i got this & he KISSES NATORI omg classic kiss-as-misdirection trope & the person at the door is like whoops my b carry on gentlemen & after they've left natori is like wtf matoba????? & matoba's like well it's what they all thought we were doing anyway & your mouth was right there & it allowed me to cover the writing on your chest with my body & also you kiss people for a living so i figured it wouldn't be too complex for you & your part-time exorcist training to handle & natori recovers admirably quickly & is like WELL for your information that was a TERRIBLE kiss & no one is gonna buy that i professional makeout artist natori shuuichi would be swapping saliva with somebody on the reg without any of my considerable skill rubbing off on them & matoba's like so what do you propose we do about it & natori's like obviously i have to teach you how to kiss in case they come back -
the bedtime story fairy who thought this was gonna be an easy assignment: please just go to sleep im begging u have mercy ur brain cells are dying
#my other bedtime imagine also features misunderstandings in natori's trailer/dressing room but this time it's established relationship#natori and his costar are in his trailer practicing a kiss & matoba comes in & thinks natori is CHEATING 😲#& packs up & goes back to the matoba estate & natori's calling him daily like i LITRALLY dk what i did wrong...miss u baby...#but also tell me what i did wrong u asshole!! you just left & didn't even tell me if/when you're coming back! wtf!!!#and eventually matoba comes home & they talk & natori's like mkay well first of all kissing that lady is my literal job that pays me#but i understand that it upset you bc we were alone in my trailer & looked startled to be interrupted. hey i know#why don't you come with me to set & you can see just how incredibly unsexy these practice sessions are?#so matoba accompanies him & it's literally just natori & his costar like calculating exact face tilt angles & figuring out#their precise height differential during the scene in question based on the shoes she'll be wearing & testing out ideal#degree of mouth openness & choreographing switching sides of the face to correspond to the movement of the camera#(bc obviously it's one of those epic 360-degree shots with the swelling orchestral score and w/e 🙄)#& figuring out where they should put their hands & whether it makes sense for them to be smiling at this point in their arc &c &c#& matoba starts like observing them from multiple angles & critiquing their technique & giving pointers to the costar#& grabbing natori's chin & bodily arranging his limbs like a mannequin & showing the costar the best ratio of lip give to firmness#by demonstrating with his own lips on natori's lips. & so on & so forth. meanwhile#the sleep i am forgoing in favor of having these thoughts is something i will NEVER get back.#natsume's book of friends#horrible exorcists#f#my posts#i am such a clown to watch one of the sweetest and most poignant shows i have ever seen and for what?#to get fixated on imagining ways to get these chuckleheads to smush their mouths together? unbelievable.#like these scenarios barely (if at all) have anything to do with what makes them so fascinating as characters. i just want them to Kiss#idk though i do feel like their first kiss has to be some sort of dare or 'accident' or w/e like these weirdos can't just KISS each other!#who does that! have you heard of a little thing called pride and invulnerability and plausible deniability!!!!#but i also completely imprinted on this one established relationship fic i read last year so sometimes i just skip ahead#to the kinds of misunderstandings and shenanigans and conflicting priorities they could get up to as a couple#i guess i just want the fact that natori is famous for kissing people to be Matoba Seiji's Problem in some way or another#is that so much to ask#(i also CLEARLY imprinted on a fic in which natori teaches matoba to kiss at a bar?? i should reread that one)
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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there is a certain type of person who now cannot see any mention of the holocaust in a historical context without bringing up palestine in a "gotcha" way. it's so gross and antisemitic. what the government of israel is doing to palestinian civilians is evil and genocidal but it is not the same as the holocaust. things can be different and still important.
#these past few years i've been really realizing how unaware people are of the history of antisemitism#i feel like there is zero discussion of the antisemites among pro-palestine people#not that that invalidates the palestinian cause. but i think you have an obligation to pay attention to that sort of thing#like remember when trump said he wouldn't condemn white supremacists#and people took that as a bad sign. like that he didn't take the issue seriously#i rarely see supporters of palestinians addressing antisemitism even in a general way#yet i see antisemitism constantly. i was literally scrolling on instagram recently and saw a video calling jewish people/prayer demonic
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#tw: vent#so my mother is basically mean to me like 99 % of the time and we literally argue every single day#and i have been trying my hardest to not pay any heed to what she tells me but recently she told me something that really#made me feel so incredibly hurt and stupid idek how to put thaf into words#i avoid sharing things with her because she makes me feel bad about even the tiniest most unnecessary thing i share with her#so basically i have this one friend who was staying away from home for uni and she lives near me so i always try to be there for her#becayse i know how lonely it gets for her and i always go everytime my friends need me and my mom hates that#she makes me feel like being nice to my friends and others is the dumbest thing on this planet and that im stupid#but if my sister does it she's an angel#i was just waiting for my friend to figure things out as she was moving back home after uni ended so we could go look at internships#toghether#and she went home and got a job and while im happy for her she didn't even mention anything about it which made me sad enough but when i#told my mother about it she made me feel worse she said that was not very nice what she did you did so much for her and i told her#that's alright i dont mind and she said that my friend used me for her benefit and that I'm stupid for being nice to people#because according to her every nice thing that ive done is stupid and nothing i have done is going to make her feel proud or is enough#she qould NEVER say this to my sisters EVER#aah fuck this became too long#im so sorry if anyone came across this#but yes my mother is literally my biggest enemy most times ngl#she makes me feel like i wish i was not alive#it hurts to see my friends have great relationship with their moms and sisters#:')
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