#you dated the brutal dictator of nicaragua

[artxssa]

gagged :o

[endversewinchester]

It's almost christmas and I'm remembering how my baby cousin (11yo) was getting into SW at this time last year, and naturally despite watching it all she stuck to the sequels.

Me, I'm a 98' baby, and therefore a prequel kid. Long story short, this was our interaction:

[gives me my gift]

Me: aw thank you! I love this! Who is your favorite character?

Her: Poe!! And yours?

Me: Anakin :)

Her:

[fireboaserpent]

"You dated the brutal dictator of nicaragua the head of the fascist militia in Piltover?!"

Vi: "She wasn't the head of the fascist militia in Piltover when I dated her!"

[james-potters-biggest-fan]

Yknow that audio thats like

“you dated the brutal dictator of Nicaragua?”

“he wasn’t the brutal dictator of Nicaragua when I was dating him, that was his dad!”

That but its James and Sirius,

“You dated my brother?”

“He wasn’t your brother when I dated him, you were disowned!”!

[ozzgin]

Hey there, yknow the tiktok sound "You dated the brutal dictator of Nicaragua?! -He wasn't the brutal dictator of Nicaragua While I was dating him!" reminds me of your Soldier yan lol

Speaking of him, what scented candle would he prefer? (I'm basic & a good vanilla knocks me off my feet, my fave is Yankee's Vanilla Frosting)

Also need him to take my virginity like yesterday, honestly embarrassing how much I've been thinking of this concept. I haven't had a kiss or anything ever so I'm just very... needy, to say the least. Maybe starved is more accurate.

Just ushbgjdjfjjdjdjfjrjkfkfk, just know your guy is in here rent free (good thing too, what with his debt and all)

Anyway, thanks for all you do here, byebye 💖

[Yandere!Soldier]

Scented candles? He probably reeks of alcohol and cigarettes and could barely differentiate between your fancy picks. "Whatever you like we're getting," is what he'd tell you. On the other hand, he might show a slight preference towards certain smells. He doesn't care, he'll say, but some things involuntarily make him nostalgic.

That fruity candle abruptly brought him back to grandma's kitchen, back in the village, when she'd make his favorite cherry kompot. He could almost see the big jars scattered across the table, the family cat sleeping on the windowsill, grandma wiping her hands on the old apron and asking him to come over and stir the pot.

Oh, he remembers it so well. He was quietly sniffling his nose; Father had just given him a proper belt whipping. "What do you need these books for? You think I'm paying for another year of school? You're old enough now, you should start helping around the farm. Take the sheep out in the fields. Enough with your city nonsense," he warned, lifting his hand for another blow.

Grandma handed him the wooden spoon and urged him towards the stove.

"Wipe your snot," she scolded gently, rubbing his face with a handkerchief. "When I went to school, they made us kneel on walnut shells! Eh, that was a reason to cry. Come, you're a man. What's your future spouse going to think of you? You have to be strong and take care of them."

You're becoming somewhat uncomfortable under his vacant stare, but his focus soon returns. He gently ruffles your hair with a faint smile. At least one promise has been kept: he's taking proper care of you. No one could ever do a better job. No one could ever love you like he does.

[aliteralchicken]

I keep hearing that “‘you dated the brutal dictator of Nicaragua?’ and she goes ‘he wasn’t the brutal dictator of Nicaragua when I was dating him’” audio everywhere

and that’s birdsnake to me, like Danny wasn’t the leader of the cult of the cobra when Tim’s started flirting with him during PE

[e-to-the-v]

y’know that tiktok sound that’s “you dated the brutal dictator of nicaragua?” “Well he wasn’t the brutal dictator of nicaragua when I was dating him”

I want that as Etho saying that about Joel

[brucewaynehater101]

I see yalls Tim and Darksied are friends and help eachother with parenting and raise you. Sometimes when they complain about certain people to eachother, that person vanishes or winds up with many broken bones. Tim groaning about Ras? Old Man gets a visit from Darksied who says, "little maggot. You have hurt someone I care about." In front of other villians before eye beaming him. The DEO are after Secret again while she's on Earth visiting friends? Tim blows up a few government buildings and is now wanted in another country.

This is how they show they care about eachother. Saying it with words? They would both rather die than show that weakness. But anyone who bothers their buddy doesn't survive for long. Also small things like Tim upgrading some security stuff to have better sensors while Darksied offers to grow him a new spleen.

When Tim adds "no longer missing Spleen" to his medical files there are a lot of questions from the Bats.

I'm sorry. Real quick, I saw the phrase "before eye beaming him" and I died of laughter. I can't even begin to explain how humorous I find that specific phrase. Eye beaming 😂

Anyways, I absolutely love this take on it! The spleen being grown back is a beautiful cherry on top with this outlook. In this AU, I did hc Tim doing some security work or helping with any management problems Darkseid might have, but the descriptions you added were great!

I wonder how often they would actually fight on the battlefield together. This seems more like the other would suddenly find out that a problem they had "miraculously" disappeared. Do they work together for some of these ends, or is it more of a quiet favor/care system?

I also imagine the Bats freaking the hell out when they realize just how friendly Tim is to Darkseid. It's giving, "You dated the brutal dictator of Nicaragua," but with befriending Darkseid instead.

How would Tim make a civilian cover for suddenly getting his spleen back? Does he claim he was misdiagnosed?

[adashulaz]

If The Pianist was Jhin(a character in league of legends only so far) and he was with Steb at some point then the audio "You dated the brutal dictator of Nicaragua?" "He wasn't the brutal dictator of Nicaragua when I was dating him" would totally fit.

Vi: You dated the meticulous psychopath of Ionia?

Steb: He wasn't the meticulous psychopath of Ionia when I was dating him.

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

Hear me out, Ponyboy and Darrel and it’s the You dated the brutal dictator of Nicaragua audio

[diminuel]

That one tiktok audio of like "you dated the brutal dictator of Nicaragua?!?!" Is Sabo and Dragon like:

Sabo: you had a baby with the brutal dictator of Alabasta??!????

Dragon: when I had a baby with him, he Wasn't the brutal dictator of Alabasta

I am 100% sure I've seen art like this!

Found it!!

[junoisthecoolest]

i’ve heard the “YOU DATED THE BRUTAL DICTATOR OF NICARAGUA- he wasn’t the brutal dictator of nicaragua when i was dating him” SO MANY TIMES AND IM LOVING IT

[skhardwarevers1]

Not sure what I was on when I wrote this but I approve of this message 👍

Ohhh I just had the stupidest lore idea that is so niche and has no real purpose

[breadraccoon]

Kind of wished the writing for Gwen and Fabian was there for me to support it. I just really want to make the “brutal dictator of Nicaragua” joke

Cindy: You dated Black Tarantula, leader of the brutal drug cartel in Argentina?

Gwen: No, I did not date Black Tarantula, leader of the brutal drug cartel in Argentina. That was his father

But on a serious note:

LOOK AT HIM!!! It could have been the most adorable, fucked up relationship. Gwen’s a messy girl. Let her have her messy relationship!

[pumpkinsy0]

Two-Bit and Tim except they “dated” in the fifth grade. Really Tim said yes cause Two-Bit was that kid who always had the best snacks/candy.

Two will still bring up their “brief affair” for shits and giggles.

Also and unrelated:Two and Tim being a couple or ex’s reminds me of that audio of “you dated the brutal dictator of Nicaragua”.

tim was a single mom who worked to jobs (taking care of angela AND curly) he NEEDED those snacks we cannot blame him, plus two was the class clown and made him laugh, its not like he was USING the guy, he was pretty alright

when two brings it up tim rolls his eyes but theres a tiiinnnyyy grin cause it was so stupid

and ur SO right actually, i love that for them

[m--rtyr]

The whole ‘you dated the brutal dictator of Nicaragua’ sound from tiktok but it’s the MCD cast finding out who Aphmau used to be married to