#you could say im working on an amv.

[fungh0u1]

who's going to tell him!!!

[pissfaggit]

Okay I'm ready now

[gemharvest]

Might not be exactly what you asked for but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go into more depth about the bf and pico drawing with the kinto pet song lyrics 🙏🙏🙏🙏 it has haunted me in a good way and I will explode without more

UR MORE THAN FINE DWWW it's easier for me to ask for prompts but I LOVE ASKS IN GENERAL I like getting to ramble. Forever and always if you see me post something and you want me to elaborate on it/ have specific questions/ literally whatever PLEASE DON'T BE SCARED TO SEND AN ASK IN !!!

okay needed that out of the way first LOLLLLL

The like. Images I get in my head when I listen to this song drive me insane like this was just me putting it into one image but I could deadass do a full PMV if I had the time.

Obvi I prefer to draw in a more Funkin'-influenced style, but esp. with how Pico is drawn I hope it's clear I was leaning into the Pico's School side of things.

(continuing under a cut because I am about to Ramble)

I don't think I was consciously thinking abt it the other night BUT at least the first verse makes me think. Of the Love Conquers All version of Pico's School. An ideal ending; Cassandra is convinced not to carry out her plan, nobody dies, Pico certainly wouldn't be Going Through It. Maybe in this ideal ending they (Pico & BF) wouldn't have split. "In this world, we're friends forever".

I also imagine it as like.. basically how the art I did ended up being. They're just black lines on a white background. Faces obscured. Maybe with some visual effects that distort things too/ some pixelation whatever. I actually think I was planning to have some parts of that pixelated but forgot by the time I was home and could draw; might have been for the best but here's a version with a biit of what I'm talking abt.

They're in a void. Separate from the real world, but happy. Stuck in a loop of the happiest time of their lives (mostly thinking from Pico's perspective with that lol). Is that not better than having to continue on in a fucked reality?

Of course, that's not real. It's just an imaginary loop of "what if"s in Pico's mind. It's a world he built for Boyf.

In this world, Boyfriend is always following with Pico, always showing him kindness and always smiling. Pico's emotions are less readable; maybe in a proper PMV I'd give him his mouth too so he can show he is at least somewhat happy, but despite being the "leader" of the two, he is much more passive, reserved. They are always holding each other's hands.

Verse 2 would be the inverse (lol), signaled by the stronger beats kicking in. White lines on black background. It's no longer the ideal world, and instead the "real world". Real, but distorted by trauma. "Inside my code, you'll always be". The world Cass built for Pico.

The bit of instrumental between verses 2 & 3 would be the Real real world, going forward to when FNF would take place; Pico and Boyfriend reconnected, through less than ideal means, though reconnected nontheless.

We're back to black lines on white background, but everything's less distorted. There's more details too, the world not just being a hazy backdrop for Pico and Boyfriend to play around in, but real.

He's different from Pico's memories, obviously, drawn now in the FNF style fully. More confident, still stupid. He has Girlfriend now.

The first 2 lines of verse 3, his imagined worlds and the real world melt together. Mixed in ways that highlight a feeling of off-ness. Everything feels strange, distorted, unreal.

The last 2 lines it's just Pico and Boyfriend hanging out alone. "All that's left is me and you/Lots of fun that we can do". Boyfriend cheery as ever, while Pico is visibly nervous-- uncharacteristic for him but we don't see if Boyfriend notices.

The strong beat kicking in again sends us back to the imagined world. The good world. But things are wrong. The real world is slipping in, things are no longer stagnant; no longer perfect. Visual distortions/ glitches worsen.

Pico could delude himself when he hadn't known where Boyfriend was; now that he's back, his world warps. No longer under his control. He is not in the lead.

The first half of the outro Boyfriend is still mostly playing along, though still seems to be growing disinterested. Pico is noticably anxious, clearly seeing how the other is no longer like a puppy at his side. Boyfriend is pulling away. Why is he pulling away, when everything's "perfect"? Why is everything going wrong. "The world I built, designed for you".

The second half of the outro, Boyfriend is now actively pulling away. He no longer looks like the idealized, young Boyfriend. He's older, a stranger, he doesn't care for Pico anymore. Pico is older now too, desperately holding on to Boyfriend. Unwilling to let him go again, first in the real world and now in his mind. Boyfriend refuses to hold his hand but Pico still grips onto his arm. Their eyes finally become visible in the imagined world.

Pico's behavior mirrors Cassandra's involvement in the second verse, though unintentionally violent as opposed to her intentional violence. He's selfish, desperate to hold on to his world; to Boyfriend. He's hurting the imagined Boyfriend in the process, but that is second in his mind to him so desperately trying to avoid a second heartbreak. Anything to keep his world together, his peace. Without it, he just has the dark.

Beyond this screen, you cannot leave Inside my code, you'll always be Endless fun that we can do In a world I built for you

In the final instrumental and as the song fades out, Pico wakes up. He's shaken, disgusted by how he acted in his mind and feeling like he's nothing but an anchor to Boyfriend, holding him back. He can't keep clinging to this false reality, nor can he pretend he's doing any good by being in Boyfriend's life again. His mind is made up.

...

LOL I hope the way I summarized The Thoughts I get paints the picture I get in my mind. I've got terminal artist brain I am imagining AMVs to near everything I listen to I am not joking; had to take a break halfway through typing this to walk around a store and I was looping KATAMARI by femtanyl for like half of it imagining an edit in my head. I can imagine anything jpeg.

I wanna very much stress that all that above would have been filtered through Pico's mind. He's not actively hurting Boyfriend, but he's fucking terrified of doing so and he feels so fucking guilty for continuing to hold on to the past they had. I guess it wouldn't be apparent from what I described but he'd also feel guilty for still having feelings for him when the other has moved on and even has a girlfriend.

His world, once his perfect escape from the anguish of his reality, corrupts as he feels worse and worse over even entertaining the thoughts. Him deciding to forget his world and, in turn, go to cut off Boyfriend for the other's sake is not based on objective reality, but an act of self-sabotage that he convinces himself to be the best outcome for everybody.

^ Literally included him doing this shit in a part of that last fic I did you can tell this is something I find interesting exploring with him.

The tone of the song too just fucking.. it adds to the eeriness I'd want out of a proper PMV of this idea. The way it's clearly an homage to the IBM 7094 singing Daisy Bell; the voice and instrumentals just feel so unnerving. Sweet and innocent on the surface, but clearly holding bad intentions. Maybe not intentionally bad, maybe misguided good even, but they are not good nor sweet nor kind. I am talking about the song on it's own divorced from it being from KinitoPET what I describe here is just the feelings it gives me in regards to my favies.

Anyways uhhhh god I could go on for hours but I've been going off for long enough I'm sorry to anyone reading this who had to sit through my insanity. My head is now lighter with this information shared tho.. I guess in conclusion: I am definitely normal and neurotypical and can be trusted to listen to music and be into my games without creating the most devastating ideas known to man. xoxo

[amuyyi]

she wants me (to be loved) .

synopsis; you have always loved huh yunjin, but not in the way she loved you.

trope; huh yunjin x f!reader, angst, unrequited (?) love, bittersweet ending

wc; 4.6k

cw; idk like one cuss word LMAO

a/n; i swear im still in forever writers block but THIS FIC IS INSPIRED BY THE SHE WANTS ME TO BE LOVED WARRIOR CATS AMV ON YOUTUBE ITS ABOUT BLUEFUR AND THRUSHPELT PLEEEEK WATCH IT AND/OR LISTEN TO THE SONG WHILE READING IM JUST SO ARRGGHHH also its almost 4 am i am half asleep i just realllyy wanted to finish this. also i used to be a theatre kid so.

You have always loved Huh Yunjin. But not in the way she loved you.

You recall very vividly the first day you met her.

It was the middle of freshman year of high school, and you had just moved into New York from out of state. Your father had just gotten a new job opportunity, and practically wasted no time packing all of your things to move in the middle of the school year. Perfect. New place, new faces, and definitely no friends. Everything an emotional teenage girl needed in a cruical stage of her development. All of the other students in your classes were nice enough, but everyone already had their established friend groups by now, and you simply didn't fit what they were looking for.

Despite the different environment, there was one thing that this school provided that provided some sort of familiarity.

Theater.

Back in middle school and for the brief semester you had in your old high school, you had always been a fan of the big stage. The music, the dramatics, the acting… It was all so whimsical and alluring to you. How could you not get involved?

(Okay, honestly.. You had gotten really into musical theater in middle school once you found a Hamilton animatic and it became your sole personality trait for a good two years or so–)

Unfortunately, you were too much of a coward to truly put yourself out there like the actors around you. High school insecurities and poor self esteem truly did take its toll on you back then. So instead, you settled for being part of the stage crew. 

You thought that getting involved with a club would make it easier for you to socialize and make friends. You could join a community. Yet somehow, it made everything all the more difficult.

Everybody seemed to already know each other and have their own established friends. On top of that, everyone also seemed to know who they hated as well. You would always overhear what other actors and techies would say about one another and it only just put you off from making friends even more. The whole environment was incredible… cliquey. 

Still, you had nothing else better to do, so you stayed. It was… Fine. You still had no real friends, but you did enjoy doing various tasks around the stage. Working with stage lights, helping prepare costumes, painting backdrops. It keeps you busy. It was routine.

It wasn’t an uncommon sight to walk in on actors practicing their lines or their songs backstage. Back home, you knew everyone involved within the production– including the actors. You would always compliment them and occasionally even provide help whenever you didn’t have your own techy jobs to fulfill. The main problem? This isn't home. Nobody here was your friend.

But when you found a pretty girl practicing for this semester's production of Phantom of The Opera in an empty hallway, you couldn't help but stop in your tracks and stare. You’ve never seen her before. Well, it's not like you bothered to pay much attention to the people around you anymore— but you feel like you wouldn't miss a face like hers.

She had the prettiest brown hair with highlights and the cutest beauty mark near the corner of her mouth. She was pacing around the hall, script in hand as she did various vocal exercises. The sound of her voice echoes off the walls, and it was just as angelic as she looked. 

“Prima Donna, your song shall live again…!” She sings out, her voice at a steady yet powerful vibrato throughout her verse. Her Bel Canto was skilled and practiced, and you can't help but wonder how long she’s been doing this for. Surely she’s overqualified for a simple high school production? You needed to hear more…

She moves her hands in elegant and dramatic forms as she immerses herself into the self-centered character of Carlotta. She played the roke perfectly, considering how most definitely had your attention now.

 “You took a snub, but theres a public who needs you, think of the cr—“

A loud thud rings throughout the hallway, startling the mystery opera singer as well as yourself. Shit. You look down and see the culprit. Well, it was you. you caused the interruption— but more specifically, it was a freshly decapitated mannequin head with a wig you were going to more securely attach to the top. It was a bit of a horrific sight, in all honesty.

Now that you think about it, this prop might actually be for her. Though you didn't have much time to ponder that thought considering the mysterious brown haired beauty has now caught you eavesdropping on her singing.

The head rolls across the tile floor and lands at her feet. You feel your face warm to what was most likely a bright tomato red as she picks it up by its shortened neck, the wig threatening to fall off as it dangles limply off of the top of its head.

“I'm assuming this is yours?” She smiles kindly at you, though a bit wary. Understandable, really. You would be wary of yourself too if you were in her shoes.

“Y-Yeah, sorry…” you nervously laugh, taking the head from her hands as you try to pat the wig back into place. 

“You sounded good, by the way!” You quickly stammer out, absentmindedly hugging the head to your chest, “Like… really good. Seriously.”

The mystery girl laughs at your flustered words, and she waves her hand dismissively. Her cheeks warm bashfully as she shakes her head.

“Thanks but… I have a lot to work on. My tones off, and I still need to memorize these lines by tomorrow…” she trails off, moving to press her back against the wall, sliding and sitting down on the floor.

Fiddling a bit with the mannequin head, you don't allow yourself to think too hard before you suddenly blurt out.

“I-I can help!”

You watch as her pretty brown eyes widen slightly, and

“Really? You sure you arent too busy?

You were actually quite busy, but she didnt have to know that.

“Of course not,” you lie confidently, sticking a hand out, “I’m y/n.”

She eyes your hand curiously, but ultimately shakes it, “Yunjin. Jennifer, if you’d like.”

From then on, you would spend every other day after school with Yunjin, helping her recite her lines, fitting her for costume changes, and even finishing that mannequin head prop for her.

Soon after, your after school hangouts turned into out of school hangouts and then eventual sleepovers every weekend. You learned everything possible about Yunjin. Like how she had always dreamed of being a performer, how she wanted to make it big in the Kpop industry, how she loves snakes…

Since then, you knew you loved her.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

On one seemingly normal spring afternoon, you were abruptly torn away from your sunkissed siesta with the sound of your door being kicked open.

With the growing bond between you and Yunjin, you made the mistake of giving the girl a spare key to your own home. (Oddly enough, your parents werent against the idea. They considered Yunjin like a second daughter.)

You whine out as she grasps at your half asleep form, shaking you aggressively.

“I got accepted into a company, y/n!! I'm gonna be a trainee!”

Eyes shooting open, you try to sit up through the aggressive grip Yunjin had on you.

“No kidding?” You croak out, looking at her with disbelief.

“I'm not!” She cheers, bouncing happily through your bedroom. Trying to match her energy through the grogginess, you slip out of bed, stumbling a bit as you tumble into her arms. Yunjin laughs at your state, wrapping her arms around your waist to keep you steady as she jumps excitedly.

“I’m  going to move back to Korea next month— this is so exciting!!” She squeals out, and your smile falters ever so slightly. Move? To Korea?

Still, you bite back the sickly feeling developing in your stomach as you squeal alongside her.

You were happy for her, and did nothing but support her all throughout her time in Korea. Called her every night after training, sent her pictures of school life without her, even voting for her in that odd survival show she participated in. You did anything and everything you could to be the best friend you could be.

Yunjin always had the stars in her eyes. But in yours? There was only ever her. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

The day that everything truly changed is still fresh in your mind.

After spending years chasing after Yunjin, it feels like you have finally caught up to her. She's back in the states after her time in Korea, and she's planning on staying. She looked a little different than before, but it was the same old Jennifer you knew and loved— even when missing a few moles and deeper eyebags.

Upon her arrival back home, it was like no time had passed. Once again attached at the hip, as it should be. You practically made it your job to crawl into her skin at any given moment and to pamper her with all of her favorite things. 

You would treat her to meals, spontaneous shopping sprees, and simple girls nights out. All of the good stuff to make up for lost time. Unfortunately, your attempts to keep your best friend happy came with their own obstacles. you would occasionally find advertisements or clips of idols that would show up during your time together, and for just a brief moment, you would see that usual spark within Yunjin’s eyes falter. It was a stark reminder of what she could have had.

It hurt you to see her get reminded of her time as a trainee. It truly was everything she wanted and more. But it was okay, you were here now, and you weren't planning on letting her go this time.

You’d drop any and everything for Yunjin. You allowed her to vent whenever she needed, to come over whenever she wanted, and to indulge in spontaneous late night meals whenever you two felt like it.

Needless to say, your wallet was crying by the time summer was nearing its end, but you didn’t mind at all. Yunjin was back. She was happy. You were happy. Things were finally returning to normal.

The two of you decide on a college to attend together in Boston, both pursuing a major in business. It's neither of your first choices in majors, but it's a good enough money maker in the long run. 

The pair of you sat in Yunjins bedroom, with you comfortably propped up against her bedframe on the floor whilst the brunette lay comfortably on the mattress. You hugged the  djungelskog plushie you had gifted Yunjin some birthday ago close to your chest as you atared at your phone, with Yunjin crunching away on cheez-its as the entire La La Land soundtrack softly plays from the record player in the corner of the room. 

Its nearly less than a month until move in day at Boston University, and you feel beyond giddy. Actual independence? And spending it with your best friend slash secret crush? Your dreams were coming true. Looking through your college dorms on the website, the pair of you converse about the future.

“What kind of theme do you think we should go for our dorm?” you ask, leaning your head against the bed to look up at Yunjin, who was still crunching away contentedly at her snacks.

“I'm not sure… But I do know I want to cover my wall with all of my posters…”

“Ooh! Yeah!! I can add fake flowers on the walls…”

“ Of course, we need a bit of girlish charm— oh! we need to make room for a record player and my guitar.”

“Google maps says there's a 7-eleven near the campus…” you murmur, your short attention prompting you to immediately shift to another topic.

“ Should we go got late night snack runs?”

“Duh.”

“Or maybe if we get tired of the dorm food, we can get equally as crappy convenience store food for instead–”

Suddenly, the music from Yunjin’s phone gets cut off, being replaced with her ringtone (it was Come Inside Of My Heart by IV of Spades ) as she huffs.

“ sorry, hold that thought..” She murmurs, answering the call.

You didn't know any Korean, the only bits you’re familiar with are the phrases Yunjin taught you to talk with her parents (which you also butchered) so you naturally begin to tune out whatever she begins to say on her end. Despite this though, you easily pick up on the shift in tone as she speaks. Professionalism, skepticism, to Shock. That was all you could read off of Yunjin as you looked up from your phone, curiously glancing at her. Her eyes were boggling out of her skull, and she placed a hand over her mouth before ending the call.

The brunette remains frozen in place, hand still over her mouth as a silence passes over the room.

“So….?” You ask, crawling up onto the bed to sit next to her.

Yunjin’s voice is shaky, yet laced with a twinge of excitement and disbelief as she speaks, “I just got a call from Hybe. I… I have the chance to debut.”

You don’t know what came over you at that moment. It felt like the world came collapsing down on you. Right now, you should be happy. Jumping for joy, focusing all on Yunjin and her chance for success. She's been given a real chance to make her dreams come true, even after it seemed impossible, even after all the years of rejection and work. This was all she wanted in life and more— you should be happy? Right?

But you’ve always been a selfish person. Or maybe you convinced yourself you were ever since that day. You don’t know. Maybe in that moment, you realized you could lose everything you’ve been waiting for. You’d lose the girl you've chased after for so many years now. If you didn't do something now, you wouldn’t have the chance to do it ever again. You were a greedy person, so you confess.

“Yunjin, I love you. I always have.”

The words feel like a slap to the face, and it shows. It shows in the way her eyes widen and smile falls. This was a bad idea, but you can't back out now. Your eyes begin to water as your voice cracks.

“I… I don’t want you to go— to leave me…” you choke out, “What about uni? Our dorm? What am I going to do without you?”

You knew you were being manipulative, you knew you were being selfish. But you didn’t care. You wanted her to know how you truly felt. You didn’t want her to leave you, not again. Your heart couldn’t handle it.

Through tears threatening to spill out, you can see her cheeks slowly dust a faint shade of pink as she processes your words. She seems… hesitant. Over what? You weren’t too sure. You weren’t too sure if you even wanted to know. 

The silence that washes over the two of you is beyond suffocating. You feel like you’re drowning, digging your nails into your palms as you look away. If you looked at her, you were scared you’d break, and the tears would begin to flow. After a few moments that feel like hours, she finally responds.

“I believe you have feelings for me…” she begins, voice soft yet strained. For some reason, those words leave a bad feeling in your gut. You muster up enough courage to meet her gaze. She looked just as hurt and conflicted as you felt. Yunjins grip on her phone tightens as she takes a deep breath, continuing, “...but I can’t give this up, y/n. It's my dream.”

That was the moment you knew you truly lost her.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

In another life, you and Yunjin would be at Boston University together, pursuing that business degree that neither of you want.

It's a dream that used to occasionally return to you when Yunjin was overseas. Every now and then, you’d wake up in a cold sweat, and you’d check Yunjins location. She’d still be in Seoul. It was okay though, because you knew she’d always come back. She always came back. Now it haunts you every other night.

The dream is always so incredibly vivid and real. You would wake up to Yunjins many alarms that she somehow manages to sleep through every single time, and you’d peel your eyes opened to your shared dorm room. Though you didn’t have much time to admire the beauty of it all through the sound of an alarm continuously dragging you out of your slumber. She’s always been a heavy sleeper. you’d have to jump on Yunjins sleeping form to even stir her into some form of consciousness.

Yunjin groaned in protest, but you knew her. She wasn’t truly bothered, not when it came to you. Instead of entertaining your futile attempts to wake her up, she would wrap her arm around your waist, dragging you down with her as you squeal out.

She's warm. Her brown bobbed hair has grown out by now, black roots peeking through the top of her head as you join the mess that is her bed (and hair.) She smells like vanilla and wood, and you can't help but laugh into her embrace. You’ll be late to the dining hall for breakfast, but it doesn't really matter. There was a 7-eleven nearby that could provide breakfast while the two of you rushed to your classes– in which you had meticulously planned to have almost every single class together.

After a long day of school, you would return back to your dorm both collapsing on your respective beds as exhaustion settles in. It was decorated just the way you two liked it. With both boy and girl band posters littering the walls alongside some fake vines, flowers, and a multitude of polaroids you two have accumulated over the years. 

Once the two of you move out of the dorms and graduate, you’d find an apartment to share. Dual income and no children, that was the way to live. Alongside a cat and a dog, of course. You’d have a black cat named Binx, and a golden retriever named Dug, something you two had discussed many times before. 

It’s beyond perfect. You lay on the couch, comfortably in Yunjins arms as a blanket is lazily draped over your forms. Binx is settled upon your lap as Dug takes up the space on the rug. The tv is playing Coraline— a staple movie for you two, and you'd smile. Yunjin would lovingly return the grin, leaning in to place a soft kiss on your lips.

And then you’d wake up, the grim reality of your situation compared to your dream sending tears flowing down your cheeks. You’re constantly reminded how Yunjin wasn't yours. Not in this lifetime. And it hurt more than anything else.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You’ve always been there for Yunjin, both before and after she became famous.

In High school, you of course supported her throughout your brief time in the drama club. But you also provided a shoulder to cry on, a free source of math homework answers, a friend.

When she moved back to Korea to become a trainee, you helped her through the rough patches. Hours of dance training, rigorous workouts, and unhealthy dieting took a toll on her. But you were always there through the phone, no matter the time. 

Even after her debut, you remained loyally by her side. Yunjin grew busier and more distant over the years, and it was understandable. You were busy too. With college, internships, and general “adulting,” it was a challenge to remain in contact. Still, when you two did find time to talk, Yunjin would tell you stories of her members, of the rumors and scandals that would plague the group. It hurt to see her hurting, especially knowing you couldn't be there for her like before. But you were glad to see her achieving all she wanted and more.

You hop into one of Yunjins late night livestreams (even if it was the morning for you.) It wasn’t like you couldn’t just call her whenever you wanted, but it was just another one of the little things you would do to continuously support your friend. Yunjin never made a scene whenever you popped in, but always made sure to look for your comments and read them out every single time.

“Sing something from Phantom or you’re lame?” She reads out, a soft laugh slipping past her lips as she does so.

The idol gives the camera a knowing look, one that only could be read by you, and you smile as she clears her throat. Phantom of the Opera is what brought you two together, after all. She spends a few minutes doing short vocal exercises to warm up her voice, and the sight is oddly nostalgic. Yunjin then sits up straight as she begins to sing, and you feel your heart twinge slightly at her song choice.

“Think of me,

Think of me fondly,

When we've said goodbye.

Remember me,

Once in a while,

Please promise me you'll try.” 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Now here you were, in a completely foreign country, placed in more than accommodating seats within the VIP section of this unfamiliar venue you’ve never even heard of before. There were hordes of men around you, all cheering in a deep voiced mass for the girls on stage. You stuck out like a sore thumb. Yet, there was Yunjin. You watch her, shining brightly on stage whilst donning a fresh head of bright orange hair. It suited her. Her fiery passion, her fierce determination that got her here in the first place, her glowing smile. It was all only a physical expression of who she was on the inside.

Yunjin had insisted on getting you these tickets– even going out of her way to even cover part of your plane ticket here despite you having a very stable and office job now. You tried to tell her you were happy enough to see her from the nosebleed seats in the back, especially since it was all you could afford on such short notice. But she refused, pulling some strings to give you the best seats possible. She wanted you here. More than anyone else.

You’ve seen Yunjin perform before. How could you not? You could vividly recall the way she would sing out and capture the entire crowd’s attention from the stage of your high school’s auditorium. How she would perform with such confidence and precision, how she performed like she was made for this. 

Things have changed a lot since then. There was no business college in your future together anymore. No planned dorms together. No more late night talks. No 7-eleven snack runs. Yet oddly enough, despite the changes, this was seemingly no different than before. Every person in the crowd was entranced, immediately allured by her natural charm and her passionate voice. You included. Just like those many years before, she still managed to have you bewitched on the sidelines while she chases after the spotlight.

So you cheer. Joining the roaring crowd as you call out Yunjins name, a bright smile playing on your lips as you do so. You’ve always been her biggest fan, after all. You swear you saw her make eye contact with you, seemingly providing her an energy boost as she sings out to the audience. She was beautiful, and she knew it.

Once the show is over, you find your way to the backstage area. You tried your best to explain to the security how you were friends with one of the members, and how she invited you back there. Unfortunately, your Korean was less than conversational, and you pretty much looked like an embarrassingly desperate and obsessive fan until Chaewon came and saved the day.

“y/n-nnie! Come, Come!! I saw you in the crowd!!” She chirps out sweetly, abruptly pushing past the guard and dragging you backstage, leaving the security both confused and a bit exhausted. This might not have been the first time the girls have tried to meet with their friends after performances.

There were people everywhere. Stage hands, stylists, makeup artists, and more, all rushing around you two and occasionally praising Chaewon. You felt beyond out of place, and probably looked the part too. Despite having Yunjin as a friend, you’ve never once felt like you were friends with a celebrity. She was simply your Jennifer, and that was more than enough. Being here though, you could truly see the extent of the impact she had on people. How so many people respected her and admired her.

Lost within your thoughts and observations of the crowd, you barely notice when Chaewon lets go of your arm, leaving you to fall victim to a bright orange mass stampeding your way. Without warning, you’re tackled into a hug by none other than Yunjin herself. You swear you see stars as the air gets forced out of your lungs.

“y/n!! You made it!!” She beams, giving you a firm squeeze pulling away to fully take in the sight of you. Her arms are still firmly wrapped around your form as her eyes almost sparkled with pure affection for you. Your cheeks warm at the contact, and you can't help but shyly avoid her gaze. Even after all of this time, she still has the same effect on you. After letting out a soft breath, she quietly murmurs, “I was singing for you, y’know.”

And your heart aches. Aches for what you two could have had. Aches for feelings she chooses not to reciprocate. You want to be angry with her. Despise her for leaving you behind and living this luxurious celebrity life. 

Yet your heart also swells. Swells with pure affection for the girl you love. The way she holds you, how she insists on having you attend, how sweetly she says your name. All of it makes you crumble all too easily. She truly cares for you, and never let the fame change that. You truly were lucky to have her.

“Really, now? You sure you weren't singing for the sea of men you forced me to sit with?” You laugh out, gently shoving her, “I swear I heard a guy say he ditched a family dinner to be there.”

Yunjin loudly laughs at your comment as she shakes her head, “How about you come over to our dorms to celebrate tonight, yeah? We’ll even let you pick a movie – or I’ll make them watch whatever you choose… Please?”

You were a bit hesitant. These were Yunjin’s friends. You didn’t want to intrude, especially after a crazy night like this. Yet, despite your reluctance, Yunjin stares down at you with those damn puppy eyes, and somehow manages to get Eunchae and Chaewon to join in…

“... Okay, fine,” you groan out, feigning disappointment as you see Yunjins eyes light up. “but we’re watching Coraline.”

The girls all cheer and pull you into a tight hug, with Yunjin holding onto you just a bit tighter than the others.

Huh Yunjin loves you. But not in the way you want. Yunjin wants you to be loved.��

And loved you are, even if it means she can't be yours.

[colorfullpaperbird]

Characters in Ace attorney that i believe are aware of fanfiction✨ ( and fandom )

Warning i haven’t played all the games yet, in fact my apollo justice trilogy is crashing every time i try to open it, so all the characters from after aa3 are based on fandom osmosis

Miles Edgeworth - writes Steel Samurai fanfiction on ao3 and has been doing it for some time now (the living embodiment of the ao3 writers curse) would rather die than anyone finding that out tho, doesn’t have a lot of free time so only posts once in like 3-4 months, fics are pretty good and distinct since he writes them with so much formality, so he is relatively popular in some fandom spaces;

Maya Fey- fanfiction reader only, runs an account on Tumblr for Steel Samurai news and fanwork, famous in the fandom and runs a discord server, one of those people that lowkey have their own fandom mostly bc of the insane revelations she drops about her own life from time to time ( “ lmao guys sorry for being absent but i got accused of murder for the 4th time and that really sucked ANYWAYS did you guys look at the leaks for the new reboot… “ ) Shes also way too open about herself on the internet;

Simon Blackquill: Sasuke fan ( derogatory ) also steel samurai fan tho, dont think he goes out the way to read fanfiction ( i think if he did he would read them in fanfiction.net ) but its pretty funny to think hes edgeworths beta reader ( AN: sorry for the delay, unfortunate circumstances came to light that my beta reader was arrested and is now on death roll ) He ran an AMV account on youtube before going to prison;

Trucy Wright: Shes 16 and her only friends are her dads coworkers, she opened wattpad AT LEAST once, probably accidentally read one of those “got sold to one direction (gavinners)” fics and immediately closed the app;

Klavier Gavin: opened wattpad to see what type of fanfiction people were writing about him, he runs a secret fan account and shares fun facts about him and his bandmates as “hcs”, also pretty popular but most people hate him bc they believe his depiction of the gavinners is “too ooc”. He is actually pretty impressed by the quality of most of the works and alludes to their existence constantly in his main on twitter, the fans go insane everytime;

Franziska Von Karma: I don’t believe Franziska is a fanfiction reader nor is she into any fandom, i do however believe she has notifications turned on for Edgeworth’s ao3 account, he doesn’t know that of course, what a foolish fool to think he could hide such a thing from his big sister, she will sometimes quote his work back to him and find amusing seeing him freeze. He thinks its a coincidence because he is too secretive about his hobbies, he’s wrong, she’s been following him online since she was 13, that’s how she knew he wasn’t dead in JFA.

Extras: Phoenix is technologically illiterate, he couldn’t read fanfiction even if he wanted to. Apollo is way too normal for that, he has the law autism not the fandom one. Athena knows of fanfiction bc she is young and in the internet but she wasn’t very interested in it. If you ask Gumshoe about fanfiction he would give you a smile and say “Of course im a Fan of Fiction Pal!”. I do believe Pearl has wattpad but only reads original works on there, so in my opinion she doesn’t count.

Im sorry for any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language

[one-and-a-half-yikes]

Another Day, Another Fanny Chapter...

Well that sure was fucking something huh? I promised I'd at least start talking about IM chapters on here instead of keeping it strictly to the discord server so here I am. Though most of this I already said, I don't mind going over it again, since I feel like I can better organize my thoughts on this.

Also there's no word limit, which is also great.

MY THOUGHTS ON CHAPTER 348: RABBIT REFLECTIONS

So to start, let's rip the bandaid off and just say that everything Fanny said to Vicious in this chapter was bullshit.

At this point in the story with how Fanny has been acting around Cuphead I hope I don't need to specify how Fanny is in love with Cuphead when there's just too much evidence to support it. She kissed him because she wanted to kiss him, not because she was trying to see what kind of lowdown man he was. If Fanny had truly believed that, she would have confronted him about it long ago, but she didn't and we know why. And on some level, I think she knows why, too.

I think it's much easier for a reader to imagine this chapter as a conversation Fanny is having with her conscious. Saying something like this:

Is not her responding to Vicious but to her own thoughts that weigh on her. That kiss has been on her mind for about a week. And her reasoning behind it has changed even moreso. This is her settling on a final conclusion. This is her convincing herself of her own convictions. Of her worldview. That what she did was right, that she didn't ruin something good because it was never good to begin with. So that she doesn't have to confront that ugly realization in the pit of her stomach.

That Cuphead doesn't love her the way she loves him.

That last part specifically. Let's look back at the screenshot yeah?

-"She could almost see Oswald's glare. It was all the same dance. A carousel of pain and betrayal, around and around."

It's a strange thing, isn't it? To bring up Oswald. To equate Oswald to her current situation with Cuphead. Because that is essentially what she's doing, isn't it? It may seem odd, but I do have a reason for why she's thinking that.

Rejection.

Oswald broke up with her and moved on with his life, and Cuphead literally ran from her. Literally the only thing they have in common here, is the fact that they rejected her. But there's another thing too.

"No, she shouldn’t complain. She was lucky she’d found a man with a decent job. Little fights like these weren’t going to end it all for them. Besides, it wasn’t like marriage was about love and all that stardust. She had tried that avenue, and it had ended in heartbreak. Definitely not worth it. Dumb rabbit." (Chapter 74)

The bold is obviously about Oswald. Now compare that to now. Do you see what I mean? She fell in love again, and she got hurt in the process. Nevermind that in both these scenarios the men were also hurt. Especially Cuphead who trusted her and from his perspective, probably assumed she planned on using him for her own needs. Just like Meg. Just like Natasha. And in that way it's very interesting the wording she's using to describe Cuphead, and also Oswald for that matter, rejecting her.

Pain and betrayal. Very edgy, it's giving listening to that one slowed down piano version of Numb that everybody made fandom AMVs to back in the 2000s.

But seriously, why those words? It's a betrayal that Cuphead wasn't interested in the same way she is? Painful sure, that's kind of how rejection works, but betrayal really?

Or.

Is it a betrayal to herself? Thinking of certain aspects of this chapter as Fanny talking to her conscious would definitely lead me to believe that that's partially what it is. She'd already tried the avenue of love twice and it's ended poorly for her, so why did she do it again when she said she wouldn't. Why now, and why with someone like...like him? Like Cuphead? It's absurd in her head. It's something she can't make sense of. Doesn't want to make sense of it either.

So the betrayal could be referring to herself. But, I also think it could be something else, too. But for me to talk about that I have to talk about Oswald and Fanny's relationship because even after a disastrous break up they just can't stay away from each other~

So even though we don't have a lot of context for their relationship, I'm going to go off on a hypothetical that the "betrayal" in regards to Oz is that he offered Fanny (either literally or just like, the idea of the relationship with him gave her that impression) a way out of the dark. From chapter 327 that her home life wasn't great, and she doesn't seem to have any high opinion of her parents at all. Even the mere suggestion of going back home after her break up with Oswald seemed like a worse fate to Fanny than being homeless.

Oswald betrayed her because he was her first love, and also because she was supposed to be living the good life with him. They were supposed to be together forever, but then he broke up with her and next thing Fanny's hearing he's got a successful career and a beautiful wife and kids. She left everything behind for this man only for it to turn out like this. In some ways I can kind of understand what she means. But then she applies this to Cuphead and it's a bit stranger.

Because Cuphead never did anything other than offer her friendship and nothing more. Of course, at the beginning, Cuphead did have a crush on her, but by the end of the Wonderful Winter book he's basically over it. But then I think back to that book specifically, and I think about their interactions throughout and wonder if the betrayal is because Fanny misconstrued everything about their relationship because of how he'd previously acted. Is it the case, that Fanny thought they were both in the same boat, using each other as a form of escapism. She even calls Cuphead out for this at one point and makes an observation about it. Did she think it was the same for him as it was for her? That the feelings were mutual?

And, okay I actually can't blame her for that part. Look, no matter how you slice it, Fanny and Cuphead were just straight up flirting with each other in the early chapters. Not to mention Cuphead asking to take Fanny out to dinner? The Christmas group date? The aftermath?

At the beginning, there may have been mutual feelings of attraction sure but things have changed since then. And even though Cuphead put aside his feelings for her for good, if Fanny had shown any form of reciprocity then maybe things could have changed, but she didn't. But even still it doesn't really explain how Cup could have betrayed her. It stumps me and I've had a good nap to think it through and it's still confusing.

[pbaintthetb]

Invincible s2e5

It's here, it's here!! Some of my thoughts. Spoilers ahead

"He's never on the hook for the lives he destroys. Just leaves it for everyone else to clean up. Again and again." -> incredible

Brothers eh!! and also Debbie saying mark must get his nobility/reluctance to abandon people from her side ;-)))), especially since this is like one of if not the only time mark is compared to his mum and not his dad. (Whether it's a you're nothing like you're dad, you will be your dad, your dad doesn't influence my view on you)

debbie taking time off work ot look after mark's brother just after they all said they wer so glad she was back :-(( I get that she priortises mark's education though

oop the donald sub plot, forgot about that but now Im hella intrigued again, he a cyberman, though he's the six million dollar man to hear Cecil tell it (we can rebuild him...)

william boxed up mark's stuff.... oof that must have been rough (for william i mean, assuming he's dead)

cecil stfu and stop being a creeper- although if he wasn't like that he wouldn't be cecil, his job is to be a bastard in order to do what he deems necessary

"He's an alien. We're more qualified to take care of him."- very ominous very uncomfortable, glad to see mark isn't having any of it but still. actually ingernal loving mark's convo with cecil

Cecil's little side eye at the end, he's scared ohohoh. and that petty "im sureyour mum will love ooking after her ex's kid" like uh, no but she said she'll do it for mark and otherwise mark will do it so so?

Mark and Amber are cool, and yeah it's nice to see him listening to her problems even if maybe it's revealing that uh... yeah he can't be there for her and that's complicated (as mark said)

Rudy and monster girl is intersing, like i get why she's pissed and i get where he's coming from

DECEASED they all knew he was from mars.Almost disappointed because him desperately trying to be human was hilarious but also this reveal was the funniest fucking thing so, even his reveal felt so unhuman

also how noble and excited the abckstory is until the awkard... so I sort of tried to kill him but I didn't even do that right and now he's coming to earth to kill us all possessed by a hive creature

"No, before, I was lying. Now I'm telling the truth. It's very different." hilarious, might steal that.

Rex, gonna go OOC real quick, then pan to Atom Eve AMV... iconic, I wonder what this could mean /s

Ok I was like, stop commenting on everything but like Rex is a prick but the absolute funniest, saying that maybe Eve's parents WANT her to be abducted because they still haven't fixed her broken window lock killed me

also more seriously actually the familiarity with which they talk and rex moves around eve's room (the l atter would be weird if it weren't so obvious eve could make him stop if she wanted) is great? Because yeah they dated for a while, like they should know each other even if they don't get on anymore and it's great to see the evidence of that Similarly the fact taht Eve reveals at teh end she knew rex just wanted something but that she also does think he genuinely helped her see that she helps people

Man, mark :-( spread too thin, and he's realising it but what is the way out?? Butter spread over too much bread and you can't just put it back in the tin

Shapesmith's intonation and diction and also just his timing of what he says is, mwah, chefs kiss, incredibel

when is the shapesmith show coming, we've already had "Allan"???

was gonna say "nice fight scenes" then kate happened, and i mean they're still good but oh fuck holy shit oh god hog do

.um. well post the homeward guardians fight all I have to say is that it seems that Rex is ranking guardian after all.

Or um, them some cliff hangers amirite, sure do hope everybody is fine

but no did like Rex's last line of the episode and also King lizard's smarmy evil pragmatism ooh very nice.

[autisticandroids]

15, 21, 23?

15. something you learned this year

i don't know if i can say i learned a new skill as such. but one thing is like... i really enjoyed making three card stud. and it really opened my eyes to like, how much of what i like about the practice of fanfiction is the meticulous remixing/reinterpretation of canon. there's a way in which the AMV is a more... analytical art form than the fanfic, because you are literally forced by the constraints of the medium to keep to the text. all you have are song lyrics and the kuleshov effect to convince your audience to take the new meaning you intend to convey from stuff already in the show. and i brought that ethos to three card stud even though i did add stuff. in a lot of ways three card stud was just me listing off things from canon i think a lot about and saying eh? eh? like. hoping the context would make it clear *why* this stuff makes me crazy. and i think that was a lot of the motivation behind the fic i'm currently working on, which is about dean and cas getting caught by the police. that fic at this point is mostly lists of things that have happened in spn episodes, placed in a new context by baffled feds and cops. which is the fun part. so like basically i learned that this is really fun, listing off canon facts in a new context

21. most memorable comment/review

so the most memorable traditional comment as such i got was probably this one, on i fold in half so easily (ifihse tends to generate the best comments because it's extremely dark without the ways in which it is dark being obviously flagged. so people are more shocked and more forced to think). "Cas: no officer i am very happy please dont tell dean im emotionally complex" is so funny and true that's literally what happens in that fic.

another top contender is this one, on getting serious, which generates good comments for the same reason ifihse does, though it's a lot less intense.

but in terms of my favorite *response to my work,* it was the breastfeeding anon saga (in chronological order here) which was a response to my fic smorgasbord.

and then i wrote a fic based on those anons, and then i got these very funny tags on my fic post:

23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t

when i tell you about the 120k deanvictor fic which is literally 90k of victor henriksen hunting down a serial killer dean winchester while becoming a little (sexually) obsessed with him and then 30k of victor knowing about the supernatural and moonlighting as a hunter while he and dean suck each others dicks so much.

and also it's about victor's relationship with his two ex wives and his former stepdaughter who he is still emotionally a parent to even though they have no legal relationship and the coworker he had an emotional affair with who he doesn't speak to anymore and how he feels trapped in his life and his job and dean represents this escape for him this total freedom. just living in his car on the road and not having to worry about what your boss thinks or needing to quit smoking. while for dean victor represents this stability and adulthood dean can never achieve. and dean leaves three spare pairs of underwear in victor's divorcé bachelor pad as a kind of little... fantasy. of what life could be like.

anyway the most compelling scene from that, IN MY MIND, is a scene where victor STILL thinks dean is a serial killer. and now he has him in custody. and against his will he's... charmed. by dean. because dean is charming and pathetic, shaking and sweating from mild alcohol withdrawal but still cracking jokes and being friendly and observant and extremely young-feeling, for 28. and earnest in a way he didn't expect. and they're forced to work together against a demon siege, a spin on jus in bello where victor still doesn't find out about the supernatural he's just protecting himself and a prisoner from a threat. and he has the uncomfortable realization that he's attracted to dean winchester (serial killer) (guy he is trying to take down) (has killed so so many people). and he's like well. we can table that for later. and then dean escapes.

so i've been trying to figure out a way to scoop out just that scene and turn it into its own fic because that's actually manageable for me.

the dean and cas pursued by the cops idea also comes a bit from frustration that i can't write this, though the feds in that one are ocs bc it's later.

from here

[allyougottado]

heyy doodle! i hope your doing well, and i hope this isn’t a bother to ask if your still doing the “character list” thingy. but if you are, could you possibly do one for delilah from bad liar? thanks <3! (she’s kinda a coach i’ve been hyperfixating on lately LMAO, anddd i really love what you do so im curious :,D)

AHHH I’M GLAD YOU LIKE MY BLOG… TYSM!!! the goal with this blog (and all my sideblogs tbh) is for ppl who are obsessed with the series to just go down it as a haven for JD posts haha (also my own safe space to talk abt stuff that ppl on twt may find strange hehe) it’s safe to say my goal has been accomplished 🫡 i’m happy :) anywaysssss

delilah🌼

fave thing about them: design probably… glasses is my fave character design trope EVER and teal/pink/yellow is also my fave color scheme hehe

least fave thing about them: don’t hate me for this but i don’t like the song that much tbh 😭

brOTP: it’s a headcanon but i think dahlia (from don’t stop now 2021 and flowers 2024) is her biological sister for the flower joke and pink hair LMAO i’ll talk abt it more in the headcanon section

OTP: didn’t think this far, sorry 😔

nOTP: none atm

random headcanon: i think she goes to JD highschool and dahlia’s her totally rich cool older sister who she doesn’t see nor speak too much… so delilah breaks up with a guy but she can’t stop thinking abt him and she’s very conflicted… but one day she meets up with her sister and they bond over the fact that ppl broke their hearts and catch up with each other and sister bonding ensues!!!! lol

ik that isn’t the meaning of bad liar as a song but i remembered how JD masterfully twisted the meaning of locked out of heaven and realized that these games are literally just OC playlists with matching AMVs so basically this hc can still work!!!!! trust me!!!!! ahahahHAHAHAHA

also she’s one of those sassy spunky nerds. like not a person u could easily bully she stands up for herself 💪😎

unpopular opinion: nothing so far tbh

fave picture of them: i love the old smiley avatars lmao

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

what fueled you to write that fast?

I would need that help too

endless love ENDLESS LOVE FOREVER AND EVER

that is tos ay i write what i love and i love what i write and i try my very best to enjoy the process and have fun

do it often and youll get faster

have a rough plan in place or even an outline if you can

and you know that rush you get when you imagine your characters doing stuff in an amv or when you chat about them with a friend? you gotta jump into thew riting while thats still buzzing if you can!

plus it helps to have lovely pepole to encourage you, while its also VERY important to make srue not to prioritize ao3 comments or peoples attention over your enjoyment, as long as you can take that part in without working FOR attention and love you'll do great.

think of it like, Wataru

Wataru is doing his acts and all his amazing things for praise

as lovely as wataru is , hes very very sad and he's just trying to be loved <3 so even if he does an amzing job at everything he does, he's not happy unless someone else enjoys what he does! and that can trap you in trying too hard to gain others aprooval and forgetting what you yourself do!

another thing is challenging yourself, if you doubt yourself doing something big and scary like nanowrimo or actually completing an entire book can make the big scary thing not so bad. The important thing there to remember is that anything that can bleed, can die. That is to say, if you can 'cause damage' to somethings hp bar, you can defeat it as long as you keep attacking it! eventually it will fall.

you can write an entire book just fine, if you just keep writing it.

But you gotta give yourself an hp bar for the thing or it can feel overwhelming. personally i go with a "ask a question, answer it, and ask another question" style usually when im writing

usually i would say a good chapter length is about 5,000 words max, and then writing out an outline

for example

Eichi feels ill, why is eichi unwell?

reveal: Eichi is turning into a horrrible magical monster and keito has to become a magical boy to save him

resolution: keito becomes a magical boy and saves eichi!

question: what's going on and how is keito going to save the world from these aliens

(in this case the question kind of sets up the overarching primary plot point- having at least one can help a lot in storytelling but theres so many different ways to tell stories. i like personally really like the 'no conflict narrative' that some japanese stories have, not that they really lack a conflict but its great for slice of life things and can kind of be stretched a lot of ways i think its called Kishotenketsu

but you know, find a method that works for you but the most important rule for writing a lot fast, is to just have fun and be self indulgent, the hardest thing to do when it comes to writing a lot, is make yourself write at all after all, as long as you actually are writing something you REALLY enjoy and like writing, you'll want to keep writing. stay true and honest to yourself and if you hae ONE big scene in mind you freaking LOVE and dont erally want to write the rest you are tottaly allowed to do that. The difference between talent and skill is often passion.

Oh and NEVER. EVER. INSULT YOUR WRITING.

DONT BE HARSH. DONT BE CRUEL.

AND DONT JUDGE YOUR WRITING UNFAIRLY, INF ACT, TRY NOT TO JUDGE IT AT ALL ,JUST ENJOY IT. SURE ITS OKAY TO STUDY AND SEE WHERE YOU COULD IMPROVE AND GROW, BUT DO THAT BECAUSE YOU ENJOY WRITING AND WANT TO WRITE BETTER NOT BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU'RE BAD do it because you love writing and you want to love it even more and show it how much you love it by getting better <3 compliment yourself and your creative projects often

tldr: Do what you enjoy, never insult yourself, and remember to not push yourself to conform to others expectations and praise, but do praise yourself lots and lots <3 source: a lovely writer who enjoys it very much and can truly say they love writing

personally i got stuck in a huge rut by the way a few years back when my mom told me she struggled to get into my writing because i never finished anything and it took me a long time to finally work past that though she never meant anything harsh by it. It took facing nanowrimo to suddenly kick my love of writing back into gear. completing and sucessfully writing an entire actual book proved to me i could.

also on that note one more tip

writing an entire book actually isint that big a deal, its super exciting sure! you should celebrate it! but it's something we put on a pedestal which makes it seem superhuman to complete, but...it's really not. now ive written several books since nanowrimo last year, and you can really see just looking at my fanfictions how heavily beating that helped me. writing is FUN

writing can BE fun

the biggest thing ive ever seen stop writers is fear, shame, and doubt. Same with artists, or anyone else with any skills. love, love , love~ <3

just keep writing, keep loving it, and you'll find that even if you only write a little a day, youll eventually get your goals done <3 any mountain is climbable with patience time and love!

[trinkerichi]

TEKVENTURES! I wanna ramble about Tekventures.

if you remember them you qualify for a veterans discount

So they were Sgt.Frog ocs that my best friend SARAZA and I made on flipnote for edgy amvs and comics. I wanna say I wassss 13? give or take. But these little guys were my EVERYTHING. We thought of a billion stories about them. Then I got sick of drawing frogs eventually and wanted to make them more of an original thing. Our first sketches were of anthro goats, but over time with my style changes, an the fact that I hate spending more than 2 seconds drawing anything, they no longer resemble any specific animal and turned into fuzzy nondescript species of alien thing. ANYWAY I wanted to make them into a "real comic series" when i was 17. That's when I started the chapters that are still up on tumblr n webtoons! and a few other sites probably that I forgot about.

I've been harsh on it in the past but honestly I still love it to bits. What's there is a solid little comic and i still think it's adorable!

The only thing is, that's judging it based on what's there. It's a basis for a cute episodic thing with low stakes! Like the early mlp fim episodes or the new care bears cartoon. But that's NOT what it was planned for in the long term. Oh no, I was so ambitious. I had at LEAST 50 episodes planned which would weave together into this massive arc that would introduce other space teams, wayward space travelers with secret pasts connecting to the main cast, sad backstories for everyone, ALL of the family members of the main cast, a villian team with like... 'anti-versions' of the main cast, and a dramatically foreshadowed final confrontation with robot clones that want to destroy their planet. OH AND ROBIN too! Besides all that, they ALSO have multiple side story episodes about crashing to earth and befriending a human girl named Robin who has to keep them secret.

That might have been um. a lot.

But when you start writing a story with your best friend when you're 13 you most likely have NO CONCEPT of "too much". Who am I kidding I STILL have trouble pacing myself. But when you come up with a story it's hard not to think it's just GOLD! And that you've gotta keep it no matter what! Because that stuff is fun!

I went full force into the comic in my senior year of highschool and eventually I finished the first chapter! It took me a year. And then I looked at my plans for the other 49 episodes and thought "maybe I need to rework some things.."

I rebooted the comic once, tried making smaller stories, all that, but I wasn't quite feeling the same drive anymore. I realized I was comparing my work to high budget tv shows with like. a full team of writers and artists. and studio funding. and greenlit seasons and all that. And it was making me feel TERRIBLE about my art!

So I quit comics! I started hating comics! I hated how long they took and how restricted I felt (with my own expectations) and I lost my confidence in finishing projects because I was so sad about giving up on my big magnum opus. and I just kinda gave up and started only doing fandom art for a couple years. I did a jyushimatsu ask blog and kept it up for ages! And then a new season of Osomatsu came out and I realized when comparing it that I was basically writing an oc at this point. And that I CAN commit to long term projects if i dont get self conscious about it!

I still didnt wanna jump into comics again. But I thought of some new characters that I was becoming attached to. the very very beginnings of what could turn into a new idea.

I thought "well i still love cartoons about space! even if im not making tekventures anymore maybe i could do another space story. a really tiny one."

so i started making an rpgmaker game! and it started taking forever. so in the meantime i made a really rough doodle comic about how the characters first met. as a little side story thing.

and THAT was the key. I had to stop thinking about it like i was making a big cool tv show and starting my career and all that. its just a fun thing, off the cuff, not overthinking it, just for fun and personal expression.

so im still going with it! and its GREAT! Rocket chip has 12 planned chapters, and I'll be halfway done by the end of the year.

But BOY did it take me forever to learn that.

[fandomanimatic-tournament]

Fandom song animatic tournament: Bracket 2 Side B

Pad Thai - Jack Stauber

"Maddening, it's a regular bad thing! Pad Thai, I'm a normal guy! Saddening, nothing's really happening! That's right, take a big bite!"

How Far We've Come - Matchbox 20

"But I believe the world is burning to the ground Oh well, I guess we're gonna find out Let's see how far we've come Let's see how far we've come"

Remember that we're voting on how Iconic they are for ANIMATICS, not for the song itself. In order to make things fair, the tone and mood of the song should not affect how iconic it is (for example, a serious song should not be considered more iconic than a joke song just because it's serious)

Propaganda and animatic links of the songs under the cut:

Pad Thai - Jack Stauber

Propaganda:

No Written Propaganda Submitted

Animatics with the song:

Helluva Boss

OMORI

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun mitsukou

TGCF

DSMP

How Far We've Come - Matchbox 20

Propaganda:

Aside from two of my favourite ever animatics being to this (Homestuck and Hermitcraft 8) it’s such a fandom song (genuinely up there with soldier poet king in the “oh my god it’s just like my d&d party” vibe). So many stories are about averting an apocalypse or some other looming threat “I’m waking up at the start of the end of the world” and the whole song is about reflecting back on your life and that of the world around you. It’s perfect for a climatic buildup to the end of a campaign or series finale, or a summary of an entire work. “Say your goodbyes if you’ve got someone you can say goodbye to” is perfect for drawing ships or friends or siblings to, with maybe one solitary person at the end. The percussion and guitar also make it very suited to animatics - there’s perfect parts in the music to switch between frames or scenes. It’s been around since 2007 so it’s nostalgic and from the peak of amvs and animatics. Please this song fucks so hard look at all the lyrics listen to it on loop it’s so quintessential to me

the DRAMA. the STORY. the EMOTIONS. this is a song for an animatic that covers character growth and major plot points, and it does it so well! if i am invested in the fandom and watch a how far we've come animatic i already know it will change me as a person

Dude. It makes the heart swell with emotion and pride at wow these characters sure have come far

It's the OG. I don't even know if homestuck started its popularity in the animatic scene but it was huge and it remains huge. From TAZ to (apparently, from a quick youtube search) hermitcraft, this song will tear at people's heartstrings as they think about blorbos the band has can't even imagine.

this song makes me so emotional ok? i know lots of fandoms use it but the ones that stuck with me are warrior cats, hermitcraft and of course homestuck. sorry for the cringe but im glad to be free. anyways this is THE song for anything that has either ended or had a large amount of time pass and also its just a really fucking good song on its own.

Animatics with the song:

Hermitcraft

The Adventure Zone

DSMP

Last Life SMP

Homestuck

Please be cautious and read the title, description and warning cards on the animatic videos if you decide to watch them. If you've got specific triggers I'd recommend even more caution when watching animatics of fandoms you don't know, since sometimes canon-typical themes don't get warnings.

Please keep in mind that I don't know all the media and fandoms of the animatics provided as examples and I don't have the time (nor the will) to research them all. Don't come into my notes or my ask box complaining about them being included, I will simply block you. If a ship animatic included is about an adult and a minor, do tell me and I'll take it out of the post

ALSO keep in mind that I don't know all the artists submitted; in fact, even if I do know them I do not know absolutely nothing about them as people (I do not have twitter nor tiktok) and I could not POSSIBLY have the time to research ALL of the artists' controversies and what came of them so PLEASE don't flood my inbox with the artists' entire crime list.

[jerrydevine]

1 3 6 11 13 25 😽😁

it may be 20 days late but i will tell you all the haterest things i have to say <3

1. the character everyone gets wrong: fucking holy shit every character on earth ? none of my non mutuals know anything about any character.. don't like how people talk about blaine. idk if you have noticed but i haven't posted abt him in so long bc there's no one on this website that knows how to talk about him. as a blaine girl i do not trust other blaine girls they're soooo weird about him.. hes a huge fucking loser like that's personality trait #1 i can't believe people try to make him all suave and sad about his past.. like that's kurt my friend kurt. blaine sucks!! oh ummmm also clary the only ppl i trust to talk about clary are beth and cassie herself 👍. i know people are wrong about jace im so sure of it just based solely on the comments of my jace amvs on youtube. but i kill them with my mind beams so i don't see them 💪 oh and also. straight women's idea of bucky barnes makes me murderous 😞

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr: have still never gotten over endgame being a good use of it's time and the only good movie over 2 hours 🤦

6. which ship fans are the most annoying? gall/avich i want to kill them all with hammers. they made the writers bring mickey back just to fuck up ians character development for the rest of that damn show. they didn't even like eachother in the end 😐. do you know how sad it makes me that galla/vich freaks on twitter were so obnoxious they wrote ian losing that independence plotline they were gonna give him . and on that note i also hate mickey fans and yes this is sacrilegious i know he's everyone little meanie but i hate mickey too 🙄

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered: 5 somehow only 5.. i used to have 7 filtered but i stopped filtering interview with a vampire tv stuff hehe. lots of them are game of thrones related i do not enjoy seeing those freaks 😐

13. worst blorboficiation: can i be honest and say magnus especially show magnus fans. they don't know his fucking history or his backstory they didn't read the tomes or do the work to really understand him.. he's best friends with tessa like you guys don't even know tessa or WILL and you're like omgggg magnus would soooo blow up a shadowhunter if they were annoying him haha he would never hang out with straight people he's soooo gay rights haha. it's not cassies fault she invented magnus in 2007 she didn't know what she was doing. don't blorbofy my best friend magnus bc you always do it wrong. ppl write him how blaine actually is. they flipped them in the mind 😒. and this is why i almost never want to read shadowhunters fic. oh also btw magnus would never want to live in edom forever anything where it's like ahh i could get used to a place like this :) . no he would not fucking say that he would kill himself a week in. and he wouldn't want alec to become a vampire that part of the show where alec wanted to become a vampire was a win for: Alma 😁! no one else. he would never say that. be real for one second

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing: fucking anything about riverdale season 7 like it's not as good guys. they aren't getting out of the 50s . but it sucks to see it every day :( and complaining about people complaining about season 7 being not very good is gauche and tacky. keep to yourself sometimes i think so. the only person i wanna hear talk about riverdale season 7 is keren. while we're watching it together

[tonydaddingham]

hope you're good!!!✨ i did get your first one but no matter! very good thanks! you? oh well. i've lost a few emails to the connection in the last few days so i figured just in case.

also thank you re: the amv, haha!!! i ended up doing another using The Darkness, but your suggestion of using Original Sin is inspired, ive put it on the list!!! as for being on the nose... well, i did one to lewis capaldi's heavenly kind of state of mind, so make of that what you will! you're welcome! it really is fantastic! (as are your others; i'm looking forward to the abba one.) lol true about heavenly kind of state of mind and original sin is just such a good song.

i completely agree with your remarks on the implications of god... feels incongruous with other aspects of god's characterisation or indeed the theme of the story - to my interpretation, anyway. yes to this entire paragraph. absolutely celebrate everyone writing whatever they want and god getting increasingly frustrated as increasingly ludicrous fanfic like matchmaking schemes keep failing is potentially hilarious but in my opinion it doesn't work with god or the story at large for her to be involved in things.

i also love the metaphorical imagery, the poetry, of crowley being the question, and aziraphale being the answer (this sparks narrative analytical joy). oooo yes that is great imagery. i agree that free will has to be the plan and aziraphale and crowley do represent that in a way but i think that might be - from god's perspective not the authorial one - fairly coincidental. like it didn't have to specifically be those two? i don't know. i tend to consider god pretty much entirely a non entity as speculation goes. she narrates and that's it.

whilst that certainly speaks to me as being his behaviour, im not personally convinced that is his motive. i think the motive question might end up going round and round in circles once you start digging into it. where do we exactly put the line between 'god wants' and 'i want' to establish a starting point? i don't think he's trying to undermine her authority. i do think he's trying to take/has already taken over heaven but maybe he thinks that's what god would want him to do. she's not talking so he's just going to have to defer to his own judgement of what god's will is and his own desires are certainly influencing that judgement extensively. to what degree he's aware of this? tricky question if you ask me. i prefer him to be fully aware and nonetheless certain that he's doing the divinely approved good/right thing but that really is just personal preference and you do make a good case for the reverse. might just call it a mix of both and give up on the details before i accidentally talk myself into a paradox.

for me, it's the specific, simplified concept that moral absolutism doesn't exist. noone is completely evil, just as noone is wholly good. good point! this is why i agree that the metatron should think he's doing the right/good thing (even if he fulfills the function of the major villain). i guess i just feel like a bit more self awareness might give him more agency?

it would make sense, to me, for this to extend to metatron this whole paragraph also makes a very good point. i said above that he thinks he's doing the right/good thing but might it be more accurate that he believes he's doing the necessary thing? that he needs to put himself in power and do all these reprehensible things because it's the only way to preserve heaven and with it god's will and the concept of 'goodness'? that could open up a bunch of things around the end justifying the means.

i think both absolutely could be correct, a mix of them - for me, the former being personal against metatron's motive, and the latter against his character. don't have anything to add here i'm afraid; just wanted to say i like this a lot!

his questions, i think again for me it makes for a more compelling character arc that crowley has existed throughout his fall and being a demon as not getting any answers you're probably right here narratively speaking. i got attached to the whole serpent thematic but the more i think about it that does also work with just questions. the serpent only opens up the path to knowledge without directly partaking of it themself after all. and the wrong questions are still dangerous. maybe even more so than the answers.

albeit, i have a feeling that the answer will essentially be that there are no answers, and it's 'up to each of you to find your own ones' oh yeah. definitely.

thoughts [about the demons]? hmmm. i'm inclined to say seeing more demons asking questions is just because we're seeing more demons now. not to mention hastur and ligur were fairly major antagonists (and i'm not yet convinced hastur isn't coming back!). it's the same as muriel to me. just because heaven and hell are absolutely terrible it doesn't mean all angels and demons are so we're now getting nicer characters on both sides to show this and balance out each side's antagonists. as for why the short-staffing: i like the idea that demons are just defecting but i think maybe something's wrong in hell? shax tells crowley beelzebub 'put some of the lesser demons on half rations'. this is a new aka post armageddon development so presumably pre armageddon hell had enough resources for everyone to be getting full rations. now there's less demons around than before but less resources per demon. of course i'm assuming that the half rations is because of lack of resources and not some other reason like punishment but I don't think that's an unreasonable assumption to make: when eric keep interrupting to draw attention to the lack of demons he also points out that they won't be able to take the large transporter which seems like a resources issue as well. it's almost like something's draining hell. i haven't the foggiest how or what or why but i'm pretty sure it'll matter next season.

i meant 'conclusive' haha!!! ah ok. that makes a lot more sense then and in that case i agree. the archangels aren't innocent but they're not as bad as the metatron either.

but the bottom line - as i see it - for them is to preserve heaven. we can view their actions as deplorable, and that is true, but in their unique circumstances, what other action would, could, or should they have taken? i refer back to my thoughts above on moral absolutism and its place - if it has any - in GO and its characters. yep! it's very likely the archangels think what they're doing - including the things they do to maintain their power (and they infight and try to exercise power over each other but they always present a united front to other angels) - are necessary. though as i said in ny last ask i'm not sure that doesn't make them more dangerous. righteousness is, shall we say, not good.

re: memory of their time as angels, this is where i largely fluctuate on how much i subscribe to the memory wipe theory - but i don't think it's a full wipe, but potentially partial? oof. yeah there's something happening with memory but the details?

but i think perhaps that the memory wipe is attributable more to the BOL than to the metatron himself - i do think there's potentially a link between falling/erasure of grace and divinity, and to memories of being an angel gabriel though. he was going to have his memory erased - depending on whether putting it in the fly was just backup or full removal, did - while staying an angel. i feel like tht might counter the fall/memory loss connection.

as for demons not being aware of a wider issue, that's a fair point - but do demons really talk to each other? wouldn't that indicate a weakness, vulnerability? if there is a large-scale memory problem going on, which is a very tentative thought anyway, im not sure that any of the demons would in fact talk to others about it. true and why i didn't discount the collateral damage option after the first season. though if it happened to everyone it might have been acknowledged in company policy? just another part of falling. like i said i really think it might be something that happened only to crowley because of whatever specific role he played and not a large scale operation. if we can trust his drunken ramble he still remembers the act of falling itself just not what led up to it and that i would tentatively hazard the other demons do based on what we see and hear from them. p.s. this doesn't really properly fit into my speculation but i still wanted to say it: 'we are the fallen. never forget that.' 'it's not the kind of thing you forget.' gains a certain kind of irony if there's as many holes in crowley's memory as i suspect.

i have my #halo theory wherein i wonder if aziraphale was the specific angel to actually declare the war in heaven ok that is a very interesting idea for parallels and mirroring. first he declares the war in heaven, then he introduces war to humanity and finally he declares war in hell defending the bookshop in episode six. rule of three. *pauses* oh shit. and hereby i just found a narrative argument for having the scapegoat theory apply to both pre fall and present day crowley. awcw get scapegoated for the fall, the serpent of eden gets scapegoated for the fall of man and crowley gets scapegoated for whatever happens with the second coming/the still unresolved declaration of war on hell. rule of three. that of course would set them up for not only mirroring/paralleling their own story arcs but also as counterpoints to each other. ok this possibility fascinates me. might need to think on it more and then get back to you about it later! and then of course there's the characterisation element of carrying the weight of that kind of guilt around, which is plenty interesting in its own right, not to mention could add another layer to him accepting the metatron's offer.

i absolutely love your interpretation of crowley's inner conflict, i think that's so well put, and i like it a lot!!! i certainly don't think crowley is willfully ignorant or in denial of his potential part in his own - or the wider - fall, but perhaps just doesn't want to examine or confront it, as you said... or perhaps doesn't remember altogether, and has just cobbled together why he thinks he fell. firstly, thanks! i tend to the latter option, but think the internal conflict/fear of finding himself to be evil would work with either especially if we lean into the scapegoat theory which does also work with either.

but similarly, i think it's also fair to assess crowley as having some measure of the same mentality as he did before he fell; that he can be quite blinkered, self-assured, and at times quite arrogant. yep! though - without trying to excuse it away - i do wonder how much of it's also a defence mechanism at this point.

and please, please do not think im hating on him - critique of a character does not mean i dislike him or find him reprehensible, i promise; it's quite the opposite honestly!!! no worries, i absolutely do no think that! if that's how my p.s. came across i'm very sorry. absolutely not my intention. i enjoy your analyses so it was just a passing thought i had that it'd probably be interesting to see you discuss an aspect of the story and/or characters you don't talk about as much; i find it usually is when people do. (you can blame the history teacher i had in my last few years of school for that lol. she was big on that sort of thing and i guess it just stuck with me.)

the narrative would still hold and be profound if it were the other way around. just personally i like the idea of him being a heavenly Nobody to becoming a hellish Somebody is rather compelling!!!✨ fair enough. i think there's definitely great things you could do with either so i'm more than happy to just sit back and see where it'll go. 🦭

hey 🦭 anon, lovely!!!✨💕 two gorgeously long and complex asks (second under the cut) - gosh, where to start!!!

okay let's get cracking with the first!!!

the abba one has been placed on hold for the time being (inspiration did not vibe with me for it BUT another is in the works and is actually shaping up to be a Slap so stay tuned!!!)

i agree with you re: metatron, i think his motive is going to be somewhat cyclical, and mutually inclusive - to be motivated in what he determines as 'good' and as decreed by god by lack of any other instruction, and to be in his own selfish or narcissistic interests - can and i think probably will exist simultaneously.

i don't think he necessarily would be unaware of what he's doing, per se, but more that he's convinced that as the voice of god, whatever he thinks and does is sanctified as being god's will (because god hasnt told him otherwise) and is done in the name of preserving heaven - and, by extension, the balance of good and evil. therefore, of course, it must be inherently good.

personally, i don't believe that that would remove any agency from metatron (same as aziraphale who, for all of his questionable decisions, to my mind hasn't lacked agency), even if we would evaluate metatron's actions as being bad or wrong - to him, they truly wouldn't be... but like you said re: necessity, i think metatron would potentially see his actions as necessary, and what is necessary is to uphold the 'good'... so does it therefore remain up to everyone else whether those actions are right or wrong? yes, imo - but it's the context that's key.

i guess the closest i can liken metatron to as a 'villain' type character (and please, mea culpa, im not very imaginative) would be javert from les misérables. the law is created, in his eyes, to uphold justice (good); when that law is broken, he is compelled to mete out that justice (also good). it's not a perfect analogy, and obviously there is compelling context on valjean's part (his parolee papers for time served on a justifiable crime make it impossible for him to start a new life as a free man), but ultimately he broke his parole and the law, and javert, whilst operating in a broken system, is doing what he believes to be the good, right thing.

LOVE your thoughts around hell and the short-staffing/dwindling resource issue. i did some writing around shax a couple of days ago, so in hand with that I'll think on your points a little more, they're excellent ones!!!

re: fall/memory loss - possibly, but i personally don't think so. i did a little bit of speculation around the BOL and saraqael, especially in relation to the trial scene, a while ago - it's probably in my #book of life and #saraqael meta tags, if you wanted a peruse!!! but the batshit thought essentially was: what saraqael has access to, in that scene, was the BOL, and she operates it on behalf of metatron... and did during the fall, too.

re: crowley critique, no no it didn't come across like that at all!!! ive just unfortunately had asks previously where people have questioned whether or not i like him, because ive been quite heavily critical of him, and wondered if i find anything redeemable about him... suffice to say, i feel the need now to ensure that any readers do not think that i dislike him if i point out his more... questionable traits; i just find them way more interesting and compelling in a character than the good ones!!!💕

onto your second ask, and just to clarify - it wasn't my mum, unfortunately!!! (the most insight my mum ever gave on GO was this beauty -

- she gets it).

but regardless!!! first of all, LOVE your speculation and what you've thought out!!! i will honestly need to think on it more before i can come to any kind of conclusion, but i am - and i hope you don't mind - essentially going to use this as a scribble pad for some speculation. some of it is in direct relation to your spec, some is general to the fall/war, and some is just Stuff feeding into it... hope that's okay!!!

could totally see it happening - that AWCW fought on heaven's side, and was made to fall essentially at the last minute/unexpectedly for a reason he doesn't even really know, and had to rationalise after the fact

however, i think that removes, as we've batted back and forth already and in the bit above, a little bit of agency on AWCW's part. i don't think AWCW chose to fall, of course, but i do think that he asked questions/made decisions, and followed through on them/stood by them, that resulted in his becoming a demon, regardless of whether he fell or was pushed

agree that hell can't make angels fall; it doesn't make sense, and i refer back to my thoughts/theory on BOL on this

also hard-agree that, without the memory-wipe theory in play, it doesn't make any sense for AWCW to have answers to dangerous (?) questions, because of the risk he'd pose once fallen. it would make far more sense, like they planned with gabriel, to just simply wipe his memory and demote him to a lesser choir*. so i think that's where, personally, i simply do think that he just didn't get any answers at all

now this all could arguably skew the scapegoat theory, but not necessarily, because the idea that he could have been scapegoated by his own 'friends' still stands, imo

my conclusion at the moment, but it will still require more thought for definite, is that i don't think it will have been the case - i think in a way it would feel a little overcomplicated, and whilst devastating i think would erase some of crowley's accountability for his decisions... not necessarily bad decisions! but decisions nonetheless.

*this has just precipitated the unfortunate thought (unfortunate in that it's gone 1:30am and i need to sleep) that - well, what if that was what was meant to happen to crowley??? same as muriel (we speculate), and same as gabriel, he was initially intended to fall but to a lower rank, with no memories, and instead he legged it? like gabriel did? immediately i can think of multiple reasons as to why i don't think this was the case, but... still interesting to think about.

anyway! this response snowballed a bit and for that please have another apology dance 💃 but let me begin with, pure hypothesis, a rough sequence of events re: the fall:

> AWCW and aziraphale meet, he starts asking questions

> meets lucifer and co, AWCW falls in with their little group that does not consider it bad to ask questions, and maybe he reiterates his 'if i were in charge' thought because he feels comfortable to do so amongst them

> lucifer starts getting bolder, as do his closest cohort, about challenging god, and crowley gets swept up in it, or fully agrees with lucifer and actually fully supports him - and aziraphale knows none of this is going on/nothing about AWCW's association with them

> all comes to a head, god nopes out of the whole thing (free will argument), and when things can't be reconciled, war* is declared (👀 at aziraphale and his halo frisbee)

> war, etc., possible temporary ceasefire or lucifer concedes; all the rebels are brought for their Final Judgement before the metatron and the archangels etc

> lucifer implicates AWCW for leading him astray, that he was the one asking questions, and now lucifer has been corrupted or something, idk, but metatron decides all of them need to go - and yet perhaps a particularly harsh punishment is in fact due for AWCW (so yeah, actually, perhaps it is only crowley that doesnt fully remember heaven? that was his own personal punishment, to not remember parts of his time in heaven/the fall?*)

> initiate::Book Of Life Protocol

*now that im writing it out though, i do wonder if that makes sense, that the war would precede the fall...? i think it would, because it seems like the fallen would, well, fall, as punishment for rebellion, and then go off to plot their revenge etc in hell furfur confirms in ep4 that the war/"dubious battle" indeed came "just before" the fall!!! wahoo!!!

*the thing is... in leviticus, there were two goats - sacrificial goat, and the scapegoat. so this is where, i - in equal conviction which is, to say, shaky at best - also personally hold the thought that AWCW might never have been the scapegoat, and instead aziraphale* potentially was - leaving AWCW to be the sacrificial.

this last thought is slightly tangential, but stick with me:

*we know aziraphale was a cherub during the pre-fall scene, and in eden. that doesn't mean that he stayed a cherub in between these points

i recently added some ramblings to this meta on his ring, which i think is the hallmark of the archangel rank - and the fact he wears his on his opposite hand to the others, and constantly covers it, feels very indicative of some unseen backstory

it also feels that him being on earth is an ostracism, a roundabout punishment by way of being cast out but not falling...

and the thing is that genesis 3:24 (KJV) reads the following:

"So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life."

so if aziraphale, as a singular cherub, was placed in eden, it was after the fall of humanity, after original sin. we only see aziraphale arrive to give adam the sword as they were leaving, not beforehand. and after eden, it's suggested, he was demoted to principality (the angelology is debated i know but im sticking with christian/GO-confirmed combination angelology for the moment)

so it can't, to my mind, be because of the apple business that aziraphale was demoted - it's not as if he let the serpent in (if we follow genesis, he arguably wasnt even there at that point). it could be because he gave away his sword, but a) god knows and let him get away with it, and b) neither gabriel nor the quartermaster knew that he gave it away in s1

so what other reason could it have been? well, the only plausible reason i can think of is that it's because he didn't smite crawley when given the opportunity on the wall

others have debated whether or not it was aziraphale telling AWCW about the stars that led to AWCW's fall, and perhaps in point of fact it was... but im not certain that anyone would have known about it, other than them. maybe aziraphale refused to fight (after knowing that AWCW was amongst the other side?), he refused to wield his archangel power in some way (like gabriel refused?), or he actually defended AWCW (personal favourite)?

idk, but either way, whatever he did, he was punished for it with the demotion to cherub, and then demoted again to principality for not smiting the serpent of eden

instead of AWCW being the scapegoat for the fall, was he sacrificed as an example, to atone for fallen, and aziraphale was scapegoated to atone for the fall of humanity? had the blame of not destroying the serpent of eden placed upon him, and was cast into the wilderness (earth)?

i realise how ridiculous it all sounds, believe me, but my sleepiness is now officially winning so i shall leave it there (honestly 🦭 anon, im so sorry for the unrelated ramble, but it's actually so helpful for me to type this out, it helps with understanding what my own theories even are when i write other stuff... so thank you!!!)✨

[foxy-paws]

Bit of a rant.

I may just be getting old and I’m not so much mad but more so missing the way things were when I look at how we spend our free time now. I feel like often times with the current state of the internet, streaming, games and whatever else I will find myself jaded and not doing anything or falling into the trap of doing the same things all the time. Same few games, never watching my shows even though I want to, buying things and forgetting them, etc. I cannot pinpoint exactly why this is but I have some ideas. The Internet: So I think this one is due to how the entire internet has been gentrified into being like 6 or 7 sites that contain 80% of the stuff people look at these days. I remember my days back in the old times were filled with scouring the internet through google searches for whatever weird HTML shit someone put together for their favorite game or show. It was awesome, even remember a Tekken fan site with character names called out when you went to their page. TV: Well, thats not much of a thing anymore. TV used to be worth watching. It had charm and most importantly shows worth watching. I used to spend hours watching nick and G4/tech tv (before it was nothing but cops). I remember that G4 used to cater to what I wanted out of TV and gave me info and content that was about my other interests. Nowadays its streaming. We’ve got everything at our fingertips and along with it comes burnout. It makes it harder to watch things when its not a thing you tune into at a specific time that made it a bit more special or at very least you would record it. Games: I remember games used to be a bit more simple in what they did. Online play was basically just there for extra fun. Now a lot of that stuff is the main focus. There’s so much online focus in everything or its very story heavy or open world. I’m cool with things being a bit more straightforward and sometimes I just wanna chill and play something like NFS High Stakes. Just to have a race or two and vibe. It feels like so many games put in extra things to work for to retain players instead of being fun.

Music: Music is interesting because we have everything we could want at our fingertips. Awesome for new discoveries but we dont spend as much time on particular albums anymore and overlook stuff that arent just the best tracks of the album. Those songs used to grow on you and make you appreciate them but now a ton of folks just do playlists and skip over a lot. its a tad depressing. I started my journey into music through piracy and amvs and I would have songs grow on me then. It gave me a small but special library and not all of them were the hit single of whatever album they were on. Really, Im not trying to bitch and say things were better in my day as a kid but they were different and I do miss it. I just feel a bit jaded sometimes and I yearn for simplicity at times.

[yuriproblem]

okay here goes, there's a lot...

6, 12, 18, 21, 28, 33 (maybe just some songs you'd wanna do something sexual to tho haha), 47, and 2 of the bonus questions

love uuuu 💕💞💖💓💘💝

ilu ❤️💕❤️💕❤️

6. Something you did in bed and would LOVE to do again?

I would say most of my sexual encounters are ones I’d enjoy repeating but technically speaking most of them haven’t happened in a bed lol—but I guess number #1 would be that I want to have an aggressive make out session in bed again ✨

12. What’s the weirdest thing that turned you on? Did you masturbate to it? Would you do it again?

haha well I regularly make myself cum while online shopping which other people find weird but I don’t really lol. I’ve definitely constructed a lot of overly convoluted fantasies as well that I would occasionally return to but I can’t think of any off the top of my head that I would say are more weird than embarrassing?

18. You can do only ONE thing to your partner sex-wise for an entire month. What is your pick?

Can biting/giving hickies be one thing? I think no one would agree to this hypothetical scenario but it sounds perfect to me.

21. What’s the best orgasm you had in past months?

🤔 that’s hard to say…im kind of a quantity of quality gal with orgasms specifically so I admit they don’t necessarily stick out individually. Definitely most recent threesome was the most fun overall but was it the best orgasm in recent months? No, that probably was me coming a couple weeks ago at work

28. Favourite way of being praised?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh…maybe just having my head patted/hair played with?

33 (13??) I think based on your added context you’re meaning to ask this one, but since the ask writer made this list so confusing I’ll do both as a bonus lol —Do you have some songs you wanna get railed to?

I have some songs in my current rotation that I think have the right vibe; Greedy by Tate McRae, asphalt rodeo by Elio

It might be an extremely silly answer but I think Bad Dog by Neon Hitch could be fun in the right mood? Although my real preference would to have someone make me the amv edit of my dreams for this song

33. Do you like to be intoxicated during sex? How? Why?

I like to be fairly tipsy? For maximum fun. But I admit it makes it harder to pee which is a bit of a boner killer for some.

47. Considering you ABSOLUTELY WOULD HAVE to do the next thing your partner will ask you to. What do YOU wish that would be?

Hm well I guess it depends on my partner. You or some other theoretical person? That’s kind of difficult either way. I wish I knew how to do shibari it would instantly be the answer to everything.

Maybe just ask me to fight them?

Bonus! 2. Are you satisfied with yourself in bed? What you think you lack? What you think you excel at?

I’m definitely not as confident as I’d like to be! In fairness I think you have to learn every persons quirks in bed individually. I have a tendency to get tunnel vision and focus on just one thing at a time? As for what I’m good at, usually I would say I’m pretty good at mirroring, so if someone is doing to me what they want me to do to them I can usually replicate it well? Obviously that doesn’t work for everyone though but I think there’s something to this.