#i am having so much fun making these though. really this is the dream ive wanted to make amvs since i was like 12 but i never had the means

[pissfaggit]

Okay I'm ready now

[orcelito]

God I don't wanna go to therapy tomorrow. Sick of talking about my feelings in a clinical setting. I do enough psychoanalysis just by myself, and now I gotta sit through it with someone else??? Come on.

[obnoxiousarcade]

im thinking again

[southernvampire]

.

[klxudykai]

the ugly part of reality shifting

as great as shifting is, its really fucking draining. like REALLY draining. its nice that people want to show the fun and positive side of shifting and all, but once new shifters (specifically) hit the stage where they're drained and extremely demotivated, they aren't going to know how to deal with these new overwhelming emotions. reality shifting takes a toll on our mental health even if we don't like to admit it. this may not apply to everything, but I know it applies to the majority.

ive been shifting since 2021 (if you saw my post Abt me starting shifting in 2019 that was wrong lmfao mb yall-). and I still haven't shifted. I used to think I'd shift within 4 years but surprise surprise. I haven't. I'm drained and demotivated. I don't completely believe I wont ever shift, but I don't think I can get what I want by manifesting or affirming or doing any of that. I think the universe will just randomly hand it to me. it sounds dumb but that's the weird luck I have. when I don't expect it, I get what I want. but when I try hard and I expect it, nothing happens or I get smth worse. i don't think that even when I put blood,sweat, and tears into this that I'll shift. I've discovered so much shit about myself yet I am still here with no experience of what its like in another reality let alone my dr. never saw my dr once. only in my dreams and my imagination.

im going to be completely honest when I say that shifting is not for the weak. I'm not saying this to get you to quit because shifting is one of the best things that I found. I just want you to know that its not always going to be perfect. you might feel desperate, you might feel homesick, you might feel exhausted mentally. and sometimes you'll make progress but then find another obstacle. quite frankly, fuck the obstacles because that's not the issue. its how you deal with them that really determine how your growth goes. and no I'm not saying it controls if you'll shift or not because it doesn't. but if you're a person that gives up easily, its going to be hard to overcome those blockages. I say that because I myself give up easily. which is ironic because I don't give up when it comes to certain goals I want to accomplish (one of those goals being shifting), but I refuse to get rid of those so called "blockages" and avoid them even though I know what's the problem. I avoid them because I don't know how to fix them and I just have this fear that's telling me I'll fail.

this post probably doesn't make a lot of sense but that's because I'm writing this in the heat of the moment so I'm not doing a lot of thinking, I'm just typing. what I'm saying is don't be that person that avoids the problems. be transparent with yourself because I'm telling you, the more you avoid it, the more drained youre going to become. it might turn into an endless loop where you think about your Dr daily but you have zero energy to shift. and it fucking sucks.

overall, please take breaks whether they're mental or shifting breaks, if you feel like there is an issue with yourself, fix it. this is a hard journey but it will be a lot easier once you're honest and overcome problems that need to be solved.

(disclaimer that this may not apply to everyone, just the people who are going through a rough patch in their journey. this is mainly just my perspective and what I've heard from a friend of mine since our issues seemed pretty similar. and if anyone needs someone to talk to, my DMS are open. I want my blog to be a safe space and that this is a place where not everything is perfect. I love y'all and please take care and don't stress yourselves <33)

also, fuck that toxic positivity shit that just makes mfs more drained. if you feel demotivated address it don't push it away

[p-taryn-dactyl]

dudeeee ik ur reqs are open so why not give this a shot and see what u think abt it! since the new agatha trailer came out I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABT HERRRJDID!! so this is abt her! (plus love ur agatha content!! ive read all of em ALL OF EM)

so.. what abt a AU where agatha is the reader's manager and the reader is a famous actor? this could lead to a dark fic or just a wholesome light one! whichever u prefer ill leave it up to u!

~p.s i hope ur feeling better!! have a nice day and feel free to ignore this if u want to^^

a/n: first off, i love ur energy so much omg, and also SAME! the trailer goes through my mind 24/7 and i’m not mad about it! ooooo i love this idea!! definitely have to take creative liberties bc i’ve sadly never been famous😔 word count: 2.6k warning(s): fun fact: i am making all of these things up, if you're secretly an actor keep everything i did wrong in this fic to yourself - slight jealous!Agatha - friends to coworkers to lovers - agatha definitely knows how to communicate - all movies and characters mentioned in this are worlds/stories i have written- kinda rushed ending but then again i feel like everything is rushed - i really hope you like this! thank you so much for the ask and i am feeling a bit better 🫶🏻 - i really can't write kissing my apologies

i was the saint, you used to adore me

You remember when you first hired Agatha.

You were just beginning to dip your toes into the pool of acting, cautiously testing the waters by sending out your less than perfect resume to anyone who would accept. Agatha was the first, and only, acting manager to respond. She too was new to her field, so far only representing people who specialized in car commercials and medicine ads. She wanted a change of pace and your lack luster resume spoke to her. Some part of you still wanders why she picked to represent you, even though in the end everything worked out incredibly well, you wanted to know why she wanted to work with you.

Because now it seemed like she wanted nothing to do with you.

At the beginning, it was like the two of you couldn't be seperated. Outside of work hours, many movie nights happened, sometimes an excuse for Agatha to show you her favorite directing and acting techniques, sometimes an excuse for you to binge watch Sandra Bullock's entire cinematography. You would fill her inbox with emails of dream roles, she would fill yours with links to acting classes if the number of emails in her inbox from you exceeded 1,000.

She was your best friend.

You missed her.

If you had to pinpoint the time when she started drifting away, it was right after you landed your breakout role of Aerin Fey in the movie Pillars, which became a boxoffice hit, making nearly three times the production cost in theaters. Soon, your portrayal of the multiversal anti hero was on billboards, had sequels and contracts signed, had custom dolls on toy store shelves. It was everything you wanted, seeing little girls inspired by you as you either walked down a red carpet or passed them in the grocery store. You loved signing autographs in the signature Agatha and you spent nights perfecting. You loved taking pictures with fans, almost equally as excited as they were, after all your dream was coming true.

All you wanted was to share these moments with your closest friend but soon Agatha started only filling the manager role in your life. No longer did she appear at your door bearing tubs of ice cream to celebrate a role you had been offered, no longer did she let you cry when you lost a role you had been desperate for. Your texts and emails became dry, only notifying you of roles she had sent your portfolio in for or sending you calender invites for interviews and late night show appearances.

All this was swirling in your head as you scrolled through your old texts with Agatha, your eyes becoming watery as you went further into the messages. You sat in your living room on your large couch, a purchase Agatha practically had to force you to confirm. You still didn't understand why you needed such a large couch or house for that matter, as you were the only one living in the space. It was damn comfortable though. You let yourself sink into the cushions, your mind running wild with theories as to why Agatha suddenly cut your friendship off. Sure, you two would keep a professional appearance when seen together on the carpet but you were absolutely certain people noticed the tense atmosphere between you.

"Bitch if you don't answer this door right now I'm going to assume you're dead and call every TMZ reporter here!"

The voice of your co-star turned friend Wanda Maximoff interupted your self pity episode, making you realize that the pounding you had subconsciously been hearing wasn't a sad theme song your mind created for you. No, it was the furious knocking of the red head. You reluctantly got out of your comfy spot, slightly taking Wanda's threat seriously. You opened your door, revealing your friend holding a folder with Pillar's studio name printed on the side and a bottle of champagne. You nodded to the bottle.

"Where's the rest?"

Wanda laughed, nudging her way into your home, bumping your shoulder with hers.

"Oh so it's that kind of day."

Wanda took her place on your couch, setting the bottle on the coffee table and crossing her legs with the folder in her lap. She patted the spot next to her on your couch, a smile wide on her face.

"Now come on, we have to make sure we know the answers to questions and what not to answer!"

You groaned at the reminder of your TV appearance tomorrow. Which also meant enduring the new cold demeanor of your be-manager. Wanda seemed to read your face as you made your way to sit back on the couch. She patted your knee once you were sat, her face a mix of pity and a bit of anger for your sadness.

"Is Agatha still acting weird?"

You nodded while staying silent, not wanting to cry in front of one of your only real friends. Not yet at least.

"God that's so stupid honestly. The least she could do is tell you what's going on instead of acting like a fourth grader who's favorite swing is being used during recess. I know you love her Y/N, I'm sorry."

You both laughed and choked at Wanda's words.

She was right, you loved Agatha. You've loved her since the first time you met her and your feelings only grew and intensified as your partnership continued throughout the years.

But you'd never say it outloud. That would make it real. And if it was real, that meant the woman you loved hated you and you had no idea why.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Agatha was leaning against the wall of your dressing room, her eyes glued to her phone as she typed furiously. You watched her in the mirror as your hair stylist put the finishing touches on the style that was supposed to look effortless. Almost as if she could feel your stare, Agatha looked up from her phone to meet your eyes in the mirror. You felt heat rise up to your cheeks as your own eyes widened, standing up a little to quickly. Realizing once you were up that you didn't have a reason for such a reaction.

Wanda burst into the dressing room, her red dress sparkling in the light.

"They want us to walk on stage together, shall we?"

Wanda held out her elbow for you to hold on to, winking in an exaggerated way. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Agatha's intense glare at Wanda but decided that you weren't going to let your manager's weird behavior affect this interview. You hooked your arm through Wanda's, playing along.

"We shall!"

Agatha followed behind the two of you, her stare burning into the back of your neck as the two of you walked onto the stage, cuing the raging applause and cheers from the audience. Agatha stayed off-stage, watching with crossed arms and an expression that could take down the toughest of tough.

The lights were burning and bright as you and Wanda took a seat next to each other across from the interviewer. You immediately regretting your choice in seat as Agatha stood across from you in the wings, her stare like ice as it stuck to your skin. Taking a deep breath, you plastered on a wide smile as you were introduced. Purposefully ignoring Agatha, you focused on how the interviewer angeled her body towards Wanda, indictating who she would be asking a question to first.

"Ok, I got to say," Darcy Lewis, the host of this show, threw her hands in the air as if she was giving a confession, "I can't ask any questions about the movie until I get confirmation about something that's happened in your life recently, Wanda."

Wanda smirked, obviously understanding where Darcy was going, You, however, were confused, your eyes flickering between Darcy, Wanda, Agatha, and the audience, hating the feeling. Your smile stayed plastered on, not wanting to reveal your confusion. Wanda met your eyes and reached over to cover your hand with hers, her left hand on top almost purposefully. You looked down to see a beautiful ring with a braided band of gold set with a sparkling diamond of reasonable size.

"Oh my god!" You gasped out, grasping Wanda's hand and bringing it embarassingly close to your face. Wanda and Darcy laughed, the latter clapping as her vague question was answered in a hilarious way.

"I can't believe it's taken you this long to notice!" Wanda laughed out, tugging her hand back to marvel at her ring herself, "I've only been parading it around for a week!"

You flushed with embarassment, a real smile painting your lips as you covered your face with your hands. After the crowd calmed down, Wanda confirmed outloud what the ring symbolized.

"A little over a week ago, my long time partner, who I met on this set by the way, proposed to me in the park we had our first date. Oh, he was so nervous but I couldn't let him finish his speach I was so excited! Obviously I said yes."

You wanted to give your friend a giant hug but decided against climbing over the arms of the chairs, choosing to keep your dignity as you didn't want your dress to ride up too much.

Darcy continued with the interview, the air of the stage light and friendly as you and Wanda evaded questions and made jokes about being trapped in these roles until you're 90. You realized once the interview was almost over that you couldn't feel Agatha's stare on you anymore. Since you had been actively avoiding the spot she was standing in the whole time, you hadn't notice her slip away. A spark of anger lit in your chest as memories floated around your mind. What had you done that she deemed worthy enough to sever your relationship?

You were surprisingly thankful when the interview was over, everything becoming a blur as you made it back home. Wanda had a date with her fiance, Vision but told you that she wanted to get coffee the next morning. You already knew you would be needing that coffee, as you had a few pages of script to begin memorizing for a cameo scene you were doing for a spin-off show of Pillars.

You wanted to just curl up on your couch and binge watch old Disney movies but you forced yourself to walk in circles around your living room, script in hand as you acted out your scenes. A few hours in, you were getting frustrated. Your mind just wouldn't grasp the script, each line entering your mind quickly but leaving even quicker. You were about to learn how to use your fireplace just to burn the papers when your door shook with someone knocking. It was rapid, almost desperate and it sent a sense of urgency pooling in your gut. You practically ran to your door, afraid of what you would see on the other side. Did someone die? Oh god, hopefully Wanda and Vision didn't break up that would be awful-

The door swung open.

It was Agatha.

Her eyes were ablaze with an emotion you couldn't pin point, her hair was a mess but it only added to her beauty, and she was gripping her phone so hard in her hand that her knuckles were white.

You were frozen in the doorway, your eyes wide and your jaw slack. Agatha just stared back at you, her chest heaving as if she had ran all the way to your home. Blinking, you broke yourself from your trance, and against the voices in your head that sounded suspiciously like a specific redhead, stepped to the side to let Agatha in. She barged in, going to stand in front of the couch, arms crossed as she continued to stare at you. Wringing your hands, you decided you wanted to mend what was broken.

"I'm just practicing for the shoot in a week, would you help me? I can't seem to get-"

"Were you ever with Wanda?"

Her sudden question made you choke on your words and you were back to being frozen, the script falling dramatically from your hands. Agatha came to stand in front of you, her face inches from yours. Your tongue was heavy with shock and all you could do was shake your head in denial.

Why was Agatha asking this? Did she like Wanda? That would explain why she wouldn't be happy with you, as you had grown closer to the redhead throughout the years and Agatha didn't.

Something clicked in your mind, reversing your sinking stomach into nervous butterflies.

But if she liked Wanda, why would she be glaring at her? Unless, the person Agatha liked wasn't the now engaged redhead and was-

"Y/N, please, I need you to answer me."

Agatha voice contradicted her body language, her words broken and shaky, as if she was afraid of a potential answer. Her hands flexed in the postition of her crossed arms, as if she wanted to reach towards you. You took a deep breath, preparing your answer.

"Is this why you started avoiding me? Because you thought I was with Wanda? I've only ever been her friend, Agatha and we only grew as close as we are because you stopped talking to me! God, I thought you hated me!"

Agatha's eyes lost their iciness and filled with panic instead. Her hands shot out and grasped your arms.

"Hate? No, I love you! I though the giant annoucment at the interview would be that you were in a relationship with Wanda! I didn't want to ruin your relationship with her because of my feelings!."

You shrugged Agatha's hands off your arms and took a step back.

"So you ruined ours? All because you thought your feelings were unreciprocated?" Agatha's eyes lit up with hope at your words, "Wanda's been with Vision for years, all you had to do was open Google!" You had started to raise your voice towards the end, all your frustration being let out at once. Agatha shrugged sheepishly as she slowly stepped to once again be close to you.

"I didn't want to be right."

Agatha smiled nervously as she brushed a hair from your face.

"I didn't know what to do and I'm terribly sorry for how I acted. God, Y/N, it hurt seeing you with someone who wasn't me. I thought you just wanted to be friends. "

Her whispered apology melted away the ice that had been hardening your heart for protection and you reached up to cup her face in your hands. Agatha leaned into your touch, her eyes closing for a second before opening and almost blinding you with how much hope was shining towards you.

"I loved being your friend and it really hurt me when you took that away but," you smiled at Agatha, shifting to be even closer to your manager, "I would love to be even more."

Agatha smiled softly, her eyes saying everything her words couldn't. Her smile melted into a smirk as she leaned in, your hands falling from her face so your arms could wrap around her neck.

"I would really love to make up for lost time."

You barely had finished nodding before Agatha's lips crashed into yours, consuming you. Her hands now cradled your face as you kissed, her tongue battling with yours. She started walking, directing you towards the stairs, where the door to your bedroom taunted you with it being far. As the two of you stumbled up the stairs, laughter breaking the kiss, you felt Agatha tugging on your dress, the one you still hadn't changed out of. Soon, there was a trail of clothes leading to your bedroom and once you hit your bed, from the look in Agatha's eyes, you wouldn't be leaving it anytime soon.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: please tell me u liked this bc i loved writing it :) i love this AU idea and would love to expand on it in the future! i wanted this to be a one shot but the potential in this pairing could lead to a series 👀 thank you so much for reading!! hopefully my writing slump hasn't affected my writing too much but i'm going to keep practicing to get better!!

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Ooooo!

One of the comics showed Jason's body had rotted on its way to Gotham, which made me realize it probably wasnt just laying there all pristine-ish in the months he was dead. Which leads to several interesting questions

1: How much decay wouldve been too much for sudden resurrection? Is there a limit? Could he have come back if he had gotten cremated

2: How much did resurrection heal

3: If he'd been rotting during the months before coming back, how much blood and liquids and rot seeped into casket, did it stay there? Was he trapped in there smelling his own rot, surrounded by his own decay, as he tried desperately to claw his way out?

3 1/2: Or did the evidence of decay disappear, as if never there. I guess all this depends on how exactly he was brought back and how that worked

4: Search engines won't answer my questions on how long it takes for bugs n maggots to get into caskets. So if he was already rotting do you think any possibly got inside before burial, do morticians have anything to kill off all bugs and eggs in a decayed body or no. Seach engines still won't answer me

[jealousmartini]

List of things I am excited to experience in my K-pop idol dr(s) !

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

💭 — CONCERTS AND CROWD WORK

I FORGOT TO ADD SOMETHING HERE☠️☠️

Doing crowd work with my fans while performing is SUCH A DREAM FOR ME OMG. That's like one my main reasons I'm excited to have a concert because I want to interact with my audience; exchanging glances, throwing stuff for one of them to have and of course performing at my best.

🍊 — COLLABS AND HANGOUTS

Okay okay, I know I have yapped in the past about being excited to meet BTS, but first, let me name a list of groups/idols I am so hyped to be in a 2-foot radius of because sometimes a girl cant help but shriek at the thought of them🙈:

NEWJEANS ||

I FUCKING LOVE THESE GIRLS SO MUCH NO ONE GETS IT. Just a little fun fact, MKB(my own gg) is considered to be like an older sister gg to NEWJEANS because they are both famous 5 member girl groups. Some people even say that NEWJEANS' aesthetic is like a younger sister to MKB's; even though MKB isn't all that "mature" it does give off an older sister feel in contrast to NEWJEANS' AND ITS SOOO CUTEEE😭😭

WONYOUNG — IVE ||

In my dr, Me and Wony are really good friends, and we have each others contacts. I've gone to battle for her in my tiktoks and tweets against antis (I am very much popular for this too since it's considered controversial to speak out in defence for another idol and she isn't the only idol I've fought for😭😭) cus she's literally the sweetest idol ever?? I actually love her to death.

CHAEYOUNG, NAYEON, SANA, MOMO, JIHYOU — TWICE ||

In my opinion all of TWICE is so cute and I freaking love them all, but I am closest to these five. They're some of my closest girl friends because they were the first friends i made (other than my members lmao) and I love them all so much please I can't wait to meet them (especially since MKB and TWICE both exist under JYP so we're basically always hanging out)

BTS ||

No, because you guys. the dating, fighting and relationship rumours that are gonna be floating around me are gonna be CRAZYY cus of how many frequent interactions I have with the group/ the members individually and how much i talk about them because I am SO down bad for them PLEASE (but we can't let them and army know you guys shhh🤫) and I also just be having the LOUDEST MOUTH EVER🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️

But aside from how badly I want each and every one of them, Me and MKB are super cool friends with BTS; usually, 1 or 2 of us will visit them for whatever reason needed and whatever occasion like watching them behind the scenes, sometimes, we will appear on their lives in person or on phone (cus we have each others contacts😝🤞🏾), we always wish them happy birthday (as they do back to us), and few times some of us will make special appearances on their game challenges on RUN BTS too.

Also, I'd say I'm closest to being with Jungkook, Jimin, Namjoon, and Taehyung- BUT I get along very well with Yoongi, Jin, and Hoeseok too. I just hangout with those 4 the most out of all of them. [EDIT// Actually I do hang out with Jin too what am I talking about]

STRAYKIDS AND ATEEZ ||

More hot men. Idk what to say more about this LMAO😭😭

💭 — LIVESTREAMS AND BIRTHDAYS

MKB is most infamous (other than our music of course) for our ridiculous lives. But my favourite kind of live is the birthday one. The moment of appreciation and love sent from fans and the celebration from my family members and staff is so precious and important to me. The thought into the gifts and the messages mean so much more to me than what anyone could imagine and it gives so much meaning to birthdays because they are so important to me.

🍊 — PRODUCING, FILMMAKING AND BTS

I have always been a big music nerd and my urge to produce music for a loving and interested fanbase makes me feel so warm. it's just what my silly little heart was made to do.

I have also been super interested in being involved with the work behind the scenes , not just being in the scenes of our music videos. I really want to have a say in what the concept of the video to match the music will look like, the outfit ideas, the hidden lore in the videos. It's just such a dream come true for me, and I'm even excited for whatever travelling needs to be done, too.

💭 — STUPID SPECULATIONS/RUMOURS ?

Being nosey and attention seeking is a deadly combo. Always gotta know something, always gotta be talked about somehow (and I usually prefer the fake dating allegations cus they're just so funny and sometimes cute depending on who I'm being shipped with lol)

🍊 — FOOD

I am THE BIGGEST foodie there is I swear. I have always craved and cried to eat real Korean (and East asian) food without thinking about my money or my skin as well as usual meals too and as much as I want (because I scripted my manager let's me eat anything I want since I don't gain weight (I scripted this for all idols tbh cus I just want to see wony eat SOMETHING😭🙏🏾))

💭 — V.I.P STUFF

When I say VIP stuff, I mainly mean 1st class vacations and trips. I freaking LOVE exploring and travelling.. ON LAND. When I shift though, this will be my first time flying on a plane and I'm kinda excited, kinda frightened. I have a slight fear of heights so I'm gonna have to brave through it and try not to throw up or something.

🍊 — FANMADE GIFTS (fanimations, fanfictions, fan art, real life gifts, fan edits, etc.)

I am so freaking hyped for this stuff you guys stop. One of my main love languages is gift giving and receiving, and I already get so hyped when I get a gift on a random day from a family memeber😭😭.

The fan edits and fanfiction are gonna be crazy tho omg the ships..😭😭😭 (I WILL be looking out for the ship fanfics best believe.)

💭 — GOOGLEBOX BUT ITS KPOP IDOLS

"STOP TALKING ABOUT GOOGLEBO-" STFU AND LISTEN HOE🤬

Okay, so before I explode for excitement, I had this idea to make take the Googlebox celebrities and make a K-pop idols edition, and it couldn't be more perfect. Of course, you might be worried about how little privacy and time to myself off camera I may have now that I've added this into my dr, but never worry!

I scripted MKB to get 2 weeks to a month long breaks depending on stuff like exhaustion, injuries, meeting families, or just having a well-deserved vacation. I also scripted that our fanbase is very respectful of our space and don't bombard us if we're spotted in public.

Edit: O.m.g applies to all the things I said about MKB too guys I just cba editing everything add o.m.g in rn

@4ellieluv @cocozydiaries @samara444 @theshifterbear @livingmydreamlife5555

[dckweed]

here's part two of jake and babygirl, i'm actually really really in love with them and it may or may not be because i constantly have baby fever. anyway, im thinking about making this a fun lil series that you guys can send in any prompts or requests for that come to mind ! silly, angsty, fluffy whatever doesn't matter, just figured that since this started off as a request that i could continue on its life that way as well..

i want to be completely honest with you guys, for the past two months now i have been in eating disorder treatment 3 hours a day 6 days a week..as of this week, ive been stepped down to 3 hours a day 4 days a week and will be completely stepping down from treatment by the end of the month..this has taken up alot of time, and alot of attention and typically by the time my day is over i am completely spent and mentally drained and haven't been putting much effort into you guys, but as part of my treatment i am going to start posting at least twice a week (if not every day) as a way of self care, because fic writing is genuinely a form of self care for me.

thank you for being patient with me, and please feel free to send in asks!

warnings: pregnancy! jake being completely soft for his babygirl but also being completely angered by her situation..morning sickness mentions, food aversion mentions, just floofy fluffness okay? use of y/n once, but other than that is just babygirl as usual. not super long but i love it. part one

'STAY WITH ME, PLEASE..' jake 'hangman' seresin

A week into your vacation Jake had convinced you to go to an obstetrician after learning that you hadn't seen one yet, concerned for your health and the health of the little thing in your womb, whom he was already attached to, even if it wasn't his. It was there that you learned that you were almost eleven weeks along, Jake sat in the room with you, holding your hand as the ultrasound tech dims the lights. He squeezes it as she squirts more warm jelly on your tummy than you thought necessary and digs the wand in at an uncomfortable angle, moving it and the gel around your skin. You were just barely showing signs of a baby bump, and you were shocked to find out just how big the baby actually was by this point.

"How is it already that big?" Jake asks exactly what you were thinking, making the tech chuckle. He was in complete awe, there was really a tiny little being inside of you, you were growing a life form and there was nothing more beautiful than that to him in that moment.

"They grow so much faster than you realize," The woman says, a pleasant smile on her face as she stares at the screen, typing a few things in with her free hand, Jake noted from his position that they were measurements. "Would you like to know the sex?"

"Yes!" He blurts out before you could even process the question, you stare at him eyebrows furrowed, confused as to why he was so eager and amazed by something that he hadn't helped create. You thought it was wonderful though that your best friend was wanting to be so involved and caring despite your situation.

"Well, dad, you're having a little girl.." She says, catching you off guard by the mention of Jake being the dad and by the fact that you were having a daughter. Jake squeezed your hand, and even in the darkness of the room you could have sworn that he was a little teary eyed.

"Isn't that amazing, babygirl?" He asks, looking over at you. Your eyes are glued to the screen, not bothering to correct the woman on Jake not being the father, it was a difficult situation to explain and you weren't quite sure you were up for it today. Tears form in your eyes as you think about the little girl growing in your womb, who would never know her daddy. You had to admit that that was probably a good thing, he didn't deserve either of you if his initial reaction was to just leave and never come back.

You knew Jake felt the same way too, you didn't even have to ask.

"This all feels like such a fever dream.." You say softly, your head leaned against the window of his truck as he drives through the streets, away from the obstetricians office. You had a print out photo of your baby in your hand, staring down at it as you rubbed your stomach absentmindedly, your mind running in circles.

"Why's that?" Jake asks, glancing over at you for a mere second, not wanting to take his eyes off of the road for too long.

You look at him, wondering if he realizes just how fucked up the situation is. "Jake, I am pregnant..my boyfriend, the father of my baby left me because he swore i was a whore and that you were actually the father, and that was before i even knew for sure that i was pregnant.." You say, word vomit spewing from your mouth before your brain could even process what was happening. "I've just found out that i'm having a little girl who's not going to have her daddy in her life, and honestly good riddance but..but..oh my god Jake what am I going to do? This wasn't part of the plan..my daddy is going to be so disappointed in me..oh my god my mama would be so fucking upset..."

You hadn't even realized that you were crying, or that you were starting to panic, the weight of the situation fully sinking in on you. "Oh my god Jake, she's never gonna meet my mama..oh my god.." Jake doesn't know what to do, but he knows he can't let you keep crying like this. He pull's over into a parking lot, right at the beach and near a bunch of shops, pulling his truck to a stop in the first empty spot he saw. There are tears streaming down your face at this point as the thoughts of your father and your dead mother run around in your head, he had never seen you like this before but he knew that it was probably just the hormones.

"Hey," He says, his voice soft and sweet, his warm body encompassing yours as he slides across the front seat towards you, having lifted the center console up. He unclips your seatbelt and pulls you towards him, holding your head against his chest, your ear pressed right where his heart is. He had done this with you a thousand times before, the sound of his heartbeat had always brought you back to earth when you would have moments like this. "you're okay, i got you babygirl, i always got you.." He whispers, his lips moving in your hair as he presses a soft, comforting kiss to the crown of your head. Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you wondered if he knew that these were the things that made you feel like he loved you in more ways than he let on, the things that gave you the smallest glimmer of hope.

You close your eyes, listening to his heartbeat and the slight rumble in his chest as he whispered things to you, slowly but surely calming you down. After a while you let out a shaky breath, your eyes opening to see the people milling about the small shopping center. "Where are we?" You ask, voice thick from the crying. Your head hurt and your eyes were heavy, you wanted to go back to his apartment and sleep, preferably in his arms, like you used to when you guys were younger.

"We're not too far from home," He says. Home..You liked the way that sounded coming from his mouth, it was always nice to hear it. "Do you want to get out and walk around? Go sit on the beach." You shake your head, sniffling softly. He kisses the top of your head once more, rubs your shoulder with his large hand. "Okay babygirl, let's go home..you look like you need some rest." He wasn't wrong, between the morning sickness that had been plaguing you in recent days, and the stress of everything, you hadn't been getting enough rest.

You manage to stay awake for the rest of the ride back, letting the gentle breeze through the open window soothe you. Jake doesn't say a word, but you see a look on his face, his eyebrows furrowed like he was thinking really hard about something. "Jake?" You ask, turning to face him, wondering what was on his mind.

"Stay." He says, looking over at you as he pulls up to his apartment building, the truck rolling to a stop. "..I..You should be here with me, you should've been with me from the beginning, but I was too chickenshit to man up and ask." You're shocked, and start to open your mouth, wanting to stop him. "Let me finish, damn it!"

"I haven't gone a day without talkng to you or thinking about you since the day I met you, and it's not just because you were my best friend, because you always will be that, no matter what, it's because i've been in fucking love with you since day one. And maybe i'm dumb because it's taken me so long to realize it, because everyone i've ever dated knew it but dammit i know it now, and have for a long time.." He rambles, you're unsure of what to make of this, your brain still processing that you were hearing him correctly. "I..know that this isn't the ideal situation, and i know that that little girl isn't my blood, but dammit i don't care because i already think of her as my kid, and i have since i found out..I can't let you walk away, not without knowing how i feel..I want to be with you through this, and through everything else in life so i can take care of you the way that you deserve, because Y/N, nobody else in this world is ever going to love you like i do.." You feel yours well with tears and subconsciously you pinch yourself, hoping to god that you weren't dreaming. "So stay with me, please.."

"Oh, Jake.." You whisper, tears spilling once more from your eyes. You can't make any other words come out of your mouth so you just nod your head and you watch his body sag with relief before you unbuckle your seatbelt and rush forward into his already waiting arms. He squeezes you tight and presses a long kiss to the top of your head as you hiccup.

"Hey, no more tears, babygirl, okay?" He whispers, leaning your head back as he brushes the tears away with his thumb, you lean into the embrace, a smile gracing your lips as your arms go around the back of his neck.

"They're happy tears, i promise.." You say, leaning forward to press your lips against his. You had though about this moment so many times in your life, and none of your wildest dreams had every prepared your for the real thing. Jake kissed you like a man starved, his hand on the back of your head, fingers scrunching up in your hair as he presses you as hard against him as he can. You groan at the possessiveness of it, pulling back after a moment to catch your breath. You can't help but let out a chuckle, leaning your forehead against his. "You picked one hell of a time to finally fucking say it, Seresin."

"Hey! You could've said it first too you know!" He says and you can't help but laugh, relishing in the way he smiles at you.

Jake & Babygirl taglist: @bellaireland1981 @sky0401 @memoriesat30 @bat-luna-cat @memeorydotcom @mayhemmanaged

[thesophistiicate]

I really enjoy reading your posts and especially the amazing advice you give people in your asks.

I am engaged with a wonderful man, who takes great care of me, romantically and financially. I have no complaints about our relationship, Ive been treated like a queen every step of the way. The problem is Ive let myself go in all areas during the time weve been together. Ive gained a crazy amount of weight, stopped taking care of myself, Ive lost a lot of my huge vocabulary that I used to be so proud of, my sharp wit. In general it seems Ive lost my manners, my class and myself. I come from a family where manners, wits and talents where my parents main focus, so I used to be very polished and very well read. I got hit with severe depression during covid, and it seems that let to my lack of disciplin and self respect.

I truly wanna change. He deserves a woman who is genuinely levelling up with him, who takes care of herself. Like the one I was when he met me.I deserve to be proud of myself, and I deserve to treat myself with respect and care.

I just feel so ambivalent when it comes to changing myself so much around him. Maybe because Im already insecure about the whole thing, find it embarrassing if he notice me struggling with my self-esteem. Ive always been the type who would learn new skills or change my looks in secret, so that no one would interrupt me, make fun of me or get me away from my progress.

How would you advice me to handle the conversation if he asks me why Im changing so much? How do I work around my embarrassment of being caught in the process of learning? Any advice on how to keep my journey a secret/less obvious?

We live together, so he would for sure notice me changing habits, try new looks etc. He would probably be supportive, but also defaulting to telling me that he loves me, and that I am perfect as I am rn etc.

i actually relate to a lot of this! your relationship sounds a lot like mine, and like many people i feel i really lost myself in Covid but also during my pregnancy (it was difficult) and then navigating discovering myself again after 5 years of feeling a bit lost… 🤍

i suppose what springs to mind for me reading your story is that this is a wonderful opportunity to discover what it’s like to be seen and supported and loved through effort and change. i’m really private too and i had to learn to become comfortable with my partner “knowing” what i’m doing.

i think it can stem from perfectionism as well, this pressure women in particular feel, to always be the polished end result but to hide away the process, even feel ashamed of it, embarrassed by it. (and extra embarrassed because to start again would be to admit we failed in the past.) we have to try so hard yet aren’t supposed to let anyone else see… it’s supposed to seem effortless. and we don’t want anyone to know in case our result is imperfect, or we are seen struggling, or whatever. it is a part of why women’s work is minimised and mocked and judged overall. so i think it’s important to push past that, to let it be seen and to take pride in it. you are undertaking a powerful, important, life changing journey and there is so much power in allowing that to be seen by somebody who you love and trust.

I’ll tell you about my partner, not to brag but to give a sense of what it may be like to push past your fear… he of course always says he loves me as i am, no matter what and no matter what might change. he loved me when we met and i was heavier and very unfit and chronically stressed out from work. i was his dream girl even then. but i was actually kind of… surprised? yet not? that in the past few years of me turning things around, he’s actually been really encouraging and interested. instead of a “why bother, i like you as you are” attitude (which would actually be insulting, as though i live for his approval lol), he talks about how inspiring (and sexy!) he finds my effort, how much he admires my self discipline, how great my results are, that i carry myself noticeably differently and seem so much happier. he buys me flowers when i hit milestones. celebrates with me when i achieve a new goal. none of it feels invasive or over the top, just gently supportive.

i did sort of start on my own without really discussing it, but he noticed. and that led to the opportunity for me to talk more openly about how i’d been feeling, about how this is a fresh start. i wonder too if you are worried to be noticed because you’re worried about whether you can stick to it? and it might bring up feelings of shame to be seen trying and “failing”? in which case lots of compassion, flexibility, and gentle self care will help. no need for strict new routines and overhauling every habit. just start small with little changes, let it build with time. it took me almost a year of false starts before i managed to stick to my exercise routine!

overall by being open and allowing him to support me, i’ve found it so easy to stick to my goals and our relationship also feels stronger than ever, too. he already loves me so the idea that everything he loves about me is only getting better is exciting to him i think. i think you are at the beginning of a wonderful new chapter and it will take some courage, but everything worth doing does 🤍

[tryhardgwen]

hi gwen!

tysm for writing and posting, I really love all of your work!

quick question just for fun: if someone could only read five of your fics and no more, and you got to pick which ones, which five would you want them to read? you can include wips if you want

happy writing and i can’t wait for your next update!

anon i am so sorry for the late reply, i just. had to think about this a LOT. then i may or may not have forgot about it. oops. but thank you so much for the submission and for enjoying my fics!!

ok we are NOT including wips because that would make this answer infinitely harder. also because i can’t really judge them because… they’re not… done. im also not counting i want your violence, since it's not finished. i AM including kim suhwan vs. the world, however, because it's essentially finished. so i'm picking out of my 25 fics. that being said, here is my list of my 5 fics i would want people to read:

kim suhwan vs. the world

all my love

the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb

and all of my dreams, they’re growing lucid (i mean, can we do two here? just the whole busan boy series. this and the beach.)

don’t blame me

pour one out for the fakenuts sure, but i havent written one im incredibly proud of yet. if the one im working on turns out good, then well… 😶‍🌫️ but thats neither here nor there since it is NOT FINISHED and i dont wanna torture myself with choosing.. really op i have 26 published fics and ur making me choose FIVE of 25. ok, i will delve into my reasoning under here.

ahem. so, to start with... kim suhwan vs. the world. i feel like this one is a little self-explanatory, if only because it's my most recent fic. i do think it's one of my best written (my older fics are definitely lacking in skill, i didn't get good at writing until late 2023 i'd say) and i just... love the plot. so writing quality is great, concept also great! description amazing, dialogue amazing. my best work so far... i guess that makes sense, since im improving in skill as i write and grow more. i love peyz. i love writing fics about love and growing up and coming of age, and okay i DID project a bit onto peyz because i too have an unrequited crush and uh... i struggle with my emotions being a "lot" a lot. especially as of late, ive been "feeling" a lot. i get angry, i get sad. i mean my dad died lol! (i do sort of separate my fics nowadays as pre-dad death and post) but this story is just so special to me. you can see my growth as a person and a writer in comparison to my first fics. i mean, its been two years, pretty much. suhwan here is so special to me, and so is jihoon, honestly. wangho is too, and... god i do love geng 2023 so much. AGH. i know chapter 5 isn't out yet, but it will be tonight, or tomorrow! before t1 geng semis, at least. i hope.

next, all my love. also self-explanatory i think. it's my most popular fic, and even though i don't even really like onerzeus, i love this story and i love my iteration of them. i really badly wanted to write a second chance homecoming story (fun fact, aml was almost a bengifaker instead of onerzeus!) and i ended up doing that. i chose onerzeus since i thought they fit it. and then the fic sorta snowballed. i initially wanted 3 chapters, 10k each, 30k total word count. hoo boy that didn't happen LOL. EVERYTHING snowballed. i started putting all my favorite music in it, and putting cars and stick shifts in, and making the almost-family have an auto shop. i put jojopyun in bc i fucking love the guy so, so much. i put many bits of myself and my dad into it (i look back on this fic with a tad bit of sentimentality because it has so much of him in it. i did write that fic before he died). but i put just.. things i wanted to put in. it was SO self indulgent! gumakeria marriage, jojopyun, music, and cars... i remember working super hard on this fic in particular, and i think it paid off. all the "surprises"/cliffhanger type-things were something i put a lot work into. i think the writing quality of this fic is... halfway decent/pretty good... description was almost amazing, and dialogue was pretty good. conceptually, one of my best. this fic will always be special to me.

next would (maybe surprisingly?) be the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb. conceptually, i believe this is my best fic conceptually, which is why i chose it. i really don't think this shows my best writing at all (not even top 5 best writing) but i think i execute the CONCEPT well regardless! i did write it in pretty much one sitting because i was in the midst of burnout and i just got the idea and knew i had to get it out, so that's my excuse on the sub-par writing quality and possibly choppy plotline. it has pretty okay description, not bad dialogue. i definitely could've made it smoother. but in general, i just love the "lck mid holy trinity" of faker, showmaker, and chovy. i love lck midlaners so much. the idea of showmaker and chovy being kindred and faker the grey man descended upon me like a blessing from the gods. BY GOD DID I COOK. i didn't write a ton of au fics prior to this fic (ntm any fantasy aus), but i really should more. i love it so much, and i love the ending (which i wrote at like 4 am in the morning in a haze because i randomly thought of it half asleep!) i'm super proud of this conceptually and i need to write more lck mid fics in general (this time with scout too!?)

okay, i really wish i could count the busan boy series as one. but i cannot, so i am choosing and all of my dreams, they're growing lucid. despite it ill be talking about both fics in this section. i think this is my best work slash series of canon-compliant gumakeria i've written thus far--(i haven't written a ton since it came out, if at all, honestly). i feel like i really perfected their characterization here, over writing so much gumakeria. the reason i pick aaomdtgl over the beach is probably writing quality/skill. busan boy is by far my "favorite" of the two concepts, but it's lacking in execution, and it's noticeable especially in comparison to its sequel. the beach has okay writing, pretty decent description, and amazing concept. and all of my dreams has great writing, great description, and great concept. i was always grumpy the beach got so much less attention than and all of my dreams, but... i guess it's for a reason, lol (also bc its um. SAD! they LOSE!). (please go read the beach if you haven't though... i do love that fic so, so much.) also stream niki and the neighbourhood... read! my first songfics i guess, i just love those two albums. also i was a tad bit insane for these two fics--i wrote the beach because i was like, worlds in Korea? lets win. time to write losing in Korea fic first to set up for it. then i wrote a large percentage of and all of my dreams before t1 even won worlds because i was so sure of it. 2023 gwen was insane.

lastly is don't blame me. this is largely because of concept, because the writing is ass. don't blame me was my second published fic, so that's my excuse. the writing IS bad, i was waltzing along lacking in skill... yeah. the prose is so short and empty and fucking hell i could nitpick all day. i guess it sort of fits the fic?? (no im lying to myself lol it just sucks.) the description is meh, the dialogue gets the point across. but CONCEPTUALLY... the fic eats! it slays! demon keria yes pls! good job 2023 gwen! you did slay! my au fics do slay, and i had so much fun with this. i really fell into the rabbithole of league lore... god i love it so much. it's just so fun to write. and the ending! i love the ending a lot and i just like the tone and mood of the fic. i mean, its chilly, a little haunting... im not sure. dbm still has unwritten sequels LMAO i may or may not choose to write... i want to, but it's been a long time... i guess only time will tell.

so... yeah! that'd be my list. if you're interested in hearing why i DIDNT include some (one) fic, keep reading :] (wjnstt was the only one i wanted to address.)

now i think the main question to myself when choosing was... do i include we just need some time together or not? i know its a rather popular fic of mine, but i nixed it in favor of dbm i guess because i prefer dbm. and in terms of canon compliant gumakeria, busan boy clears it and does it a whole lot better in everything (characterization, writing quality, dynamic, everything). i don't... like wjnstt, not really. i mean, i haven't read it in a long while, so i couldn't tell u if that's 100% accurate of a conclusion, but. it was the first fic i ever started writing, and you can TELL. hoo boy writing quality be IN THE GUTTER. oh my GOD. to be fair, again, i haven't read it in a while so my judgment is probably a bit skewed/i could be misremembering. but i haven't reread it because IM SCARED OF IT. IM GOING TO GET SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT AND CRINGE AT MYSELF OH GOD. ITS SO ASS. FUCKING HELL. my characterization is kinda ass (all of the characters), my writing quality/skill is unpolished... so many things. my description is okay... meh... i guess. my dialogue is probably the best part of the fic, and that's only halfway decent. but at the same time, i remember pouring my heart into this fic. i really do. conceptually, i think it was okay, and i remember it meaning a lot to me. i guess i just... sort of grew up and out of it. i mean, its been two years, pretty much. i wrote it in the midst of a bad depression slump, and i was younger, and... a lot changed since then, bascially. okay maybe i should reread it. fuck. we'll see i guess. i have a love hate relationship with this fic, that's all ill say for now. it'd probably make... top 6 or top 7. yeah. not sure. not top 5 though, sorry.

anyway, thank you so much for the question again op, and i'm so sorry for the late reply! and for yapping. i yapped a lot. hopefully you liked reading it though. much love, hope you have an amazing day, and let's gear up for worlds semis this weekend!!

[spitdrunken]

currently i'm really busy with writing for my thesis, which unfortunately leaves me with little creative juice... ive been engaging with other people's creations a lot more rather than writing for myself, but have some assorted thoughts on things ive enjoyed recently below, for anyone who is interested. feel free to send me asks about anything that's mentioned, but because of the above, might take me a bit to get back to u <3!

these aren't really x reader thoughts, just rambling! if you read this, thank u, i am giving you a kiss on your forehead/hug/fistbump/handshake/whatever words of affirmation you have been wanting to hear today. pick your favorite!

(Pokephilia mention) Pokémon Legends Z's announcement!! It'll be forever until it's released (which, as a true Pokémon fan, I'm very happy about BAHAHAH), but I'm so excited! Very curious how they are planning to implement, what seems to be, citybuilder elements... If Emmet shows up in this game, I'm going to be super delighted, but I honestly doubt it. Either way, it's made me think a bit more about the twins, and Poképhilia stuff in general as well! It's such a shame/pain the main tag is blocked... one day I will start and stick to my intention to write, like, porn about all the Pokémon, haha. A dream...

(cannibalism(????) monster eating??? mention. consensual!) Dungeon Meshi really was as much fun as everyone mentioned! Don't really see myself writing fic about it, except for a very specific idea I had... I like the thought of Laois 'obsessed with eating monsters' Touden got to meet a monster (AKA Reader) who is equally obsessed with the idea of being eaten!! Maybe a mermaid, or something like that? It's his one chance to eat a humanoid monster! Though the others probably won't believe him when they tell him that it was 100% consensual, and are judging him harshly LMAO

Welcome Home updated! Very happy about this. Though I don't connect them publically, I actually have written quite a bit of WH fic and my sfw sideblog for it used to have more followers than this one LMAOO. Maybe one day I'll write NSFW works for it, but I dunno if there's interest... Plus, I very much fall underneath people the creator would consider 'unwelcome' in their squeaky-clean fandom or whatever, but they have like a quarter million followers now, lol. Anyway, Wally is, as has been said many times before, the Most! He draws me in <3

And also, poor Eddie, lmao. It's very interesting to me, with the inclusion of the Narrator, that the characters seem to be forced to steer in a specific direction, if that makes sense? To upkeep a certain mask. I wonder if 'as above, so below' is a reference to that, in the sense that whatever is dictated by the stronger forces of narrative, is what shall occur 'below'-- In their world. Like, the animosity some of these puppets have for each other!!!!! Some of them are just straight up Not Friends, lmao.

I need to play more of it, but if anyone is reading this, go play I Was A Teenage Exocolonist. I expected it to be waaaay more popular, especially on Tumblr, but it's so underrated? The writing is wonderful, the characters are well-defined, and the art is breathtaking! Please take a look at the trigger warnings, cuz there are a few that are definitely applicable, but it's soooo good... If it has to be said, I romanced Dys first, lmao.

I am watching The Apothecary Diaries right now, just started today, and can I jsut say... I'm such a fan of all the women in this show!! I love the perspective it gives on court life a lot! Maomao definitely is pulling in all the men AND women, huh.... i appreciate that. Jinshi also 100% wants to get degraded by her, huh. Maomao is the sexywoman of this show.

[ohnoitsjetster]

hiya jesse darlin!! i’ve got about a million questions for the ask game >:] these are all things i’m curious about, but it’s a lot. so feel free to pick just a few to answer <3

12, 13, 14, 42, 99, 100, 119, 127, 137, 142, 145, 146, 148, 149

i love you jesse beloved!! i hope you’re doing well <333

HIYA SOL!!! Ilyt <3, i hope you’re having a good day! I’m gonna answer all of these :]

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

OGH okok. This changes constantly but lately:

- Sedona by Sir Chloe

- Thank God for Springtime by Levi Shrader

- Snowbank Blues by the Backseat Lovers

- Sex with a Ghost by Teddy Hyde

- Cool from West Side Story

Two of these were actually recommendations, Sedona was recommended to me by @specimen101 and Snowbank Blues was recommended to me by @ricky-mortis (Thank you guys! :D ). Also I found out about Thank God for Springtime at a student art showcase for my college. I met Levi Shrader and hung out with him and then he was like “alright :] im gonna go get ready for the show :] see ya :]” as if he wasn’t about to play music that fundamentally changed my brain chemistry. I also strongly recommend his songs Calvary Hill and St. Mary Amygdala to anyone that likes folk music.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

I…. am a simple creature. (Head scratches 🔥 especially the back of my hair where its shortest)

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Nope not really, I participate occasionally in superstition only for the sake of whimsy

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

It’s probably an anxiety attack

99. Have any pets?

A dog named Goldie. She’s a mutt that looks like a small pudgy black lab. She’s 14 but she’s acts like she’s just turned 1

100. How are you feeling?

Less anxious than normal, glad to finally have some free time this week, and kinda drowsy cause I just woke up

119. Favourite book?

I don’t read much but I like reading plays. I’d say my favorite is A Midsummer Night’s Dream by Shakespeare

127. What makes you happy?

Talking about my favorite musicals, plays, and movies, preferably to someone who is equally insane

137. How tall are you?

5’9 I think

142. Favourite month?

Maybe June because of summer break and also gay month. But I also love March because it’s got my birthday and spring and its the right temperature to wear my jackets

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea! Coffee’s nice too but I think caffeine might be bad for my anxiety

146. Was today a good day?

Just started, I think it will be, but Ive got work to do and I hope I can get it done

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

Ough, couldn’t possibly choose. I have a few main ones. Maybe ask me for a character or piece of media to narrow it down? For now I’ll go with the Blasphemy quote even though we all know I love that one: “I will not be Shackled by the failures of Your god. The only blasphemy is to wallow in Insignificance. I have taken the refuse of your god’s failures and I have Triumphed!!!”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

For fun but not for reals

Thanks for the questions! These were fun to answer

[youngestdaughtersyndrome]

Tagged by my darling @glassangels <3<3<3

1. Are you named after anyone? Im named after a kinks song which is a massive win for me personally. They almost named me rosa after the pixies album (which wouldve made sense bc we do in fact surf) but one of my moms friends was already knitting a sweater with the kinks-name on it and she convinced them to keep it. My middle name is also my paternal grandmas middle name so i guess that counts too

2. When was the last time you cried? No idea tbh. That thing where you lie down on your side and then your eyes start leaking happens to me a lot but a proper sadness-induced cry hasnt happened for months. I will say that sometimes i say something made me cry, and although it technically didnt due to no tears falling, it did make my soul hurt and crying is the closest phrase that expresses that <3

3. Do you have kids? Thank god no

4. What sports do you play/have you played? Soccer, ran track for a bit, ultimate frisbee, swimming, fencing, fighting (mma, kickboxing, cage, etc), equestrianism (im including my brief and unimpressive time vaulting here), did some stuff with a circus briefly (contortionism, aerial arts, lyra), and then the usual outdoorsy shit (surfing, bouldering, hiking, skiing, and since caving is technically a sport, caving). Also danced for a bit (ballet, contemporary, and jazz). Yeah man idk either

5. Do you use sarcasm? Technically yes but its less "sarcasm" and more "inability to express a truth about myself without making it into a joke". A bit of sarcasm when the time calls for it is always fair game though and i will indulge

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone? The way they carry themself says a lot about their temperament and emotional state and whatnot so thats typically where my eye is drawn. Second place goes to wherever theyre keeping their valuables on them and how expensively theyre dressed though

7. Eye color? Blue but ive got a bit of yellow central heterochromia so they tend to look green if its bright out

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Kill them <3 scary movies 4ever

9. Any talents? Party trick-wise i did retain some contortionist ability and so thats always a good one to break out. Also can spit water up to 30 ft for tooth gap reasons. I am the type of person whos just naturally good at a lot of things (sorry) so i consider that a talent too

10. Where were you born? The top left corner of the USA, not including alaska

11. Hobbies? Writing, journaling, watching movies, reading, various textile arts, going for walks, playing assorted instruments, and occasionally traditional art (im particularly fond of ballpoint pens and oil pastels). Would say listening to music but thats a job to me and i clock into that shit like i get paid

12. Any pets? Maeve the most anxious dog in the world who i love very much <3

13. Height? 5'8/172 cm

14. Favorite school subject? I was a school hater so it really depended on the teacher... in high school i did have the same teacher for like three years in a row (she taught me english in freshman year, history in sophomore, + health in junior) and she was totally awesome so all those classes were great. Typically the classes i had the most fun in were english and history just bc there was more room for fucking around. In the single semester of college i took i did have crazy amounts of fun in my film class though which i will say was mostly because my professor rocked and i got him on my side early so i could kind of do whatever

15. Dream job? Due to the Issues and also common sense mainly i just wish the government actually took care of people and i wouldnt need to work. But if i have to chose a job than itd be a) writing a book or two that are good enough i could live off the royalties and film rights and whatnot for the rest of my life or b) pulling an enya (dropping some widely beloved and largely incomprehensible music and then disappearing totally from the public eye to live in a castle in the middle of nowhere)

Idk whos already done this so ignore me if you have lol @supersonic1994 @nothingrhymedwithcircus @hauntedwoman @halogenstreetlight @evebabitzgf @serethereal and anyone else who wants to <3<3<3

[sleepy-vix]

I found this interesting books ask :

https://www.tumblr.com/dnana-2809-blog/749706502296813568/bookish-asks?source=share

Do you mind if I ask, no. 13, 14, 15, 18, 34, and 50? Thanks...😁

oooh

13: "Name a book with a really bad movie/tv adaption"

ummm i dont actually have an answer to this. i don't really watch movies/tv very much and the adaptions i watch for my fav books arent that bad.

14: "Name a book where the movie/tv adaption actually was better than the original"

oooh i really liked little women (2019). ik i cant really say confidently that it is better than the books because i havent read all of them, i've only read little women, so 1/4 of the books, but i just think the movie is so great. i loved the book and it was cozy and precious but i ADORE the movie. yk?

15: "What book changed your life?"

hmmm this is a little sad but i wouldn't say any book changed my life... that's not because i havent read any good books though, it's more due to the fact that my life feels like a river with strong currents and i'm only floating along- with barely any freewill or the ability to change my fate (if u believe in fate. i dont believe in fate but i just thought it was appropriate to say)

thoughhh i guess if i had to pick one then it'd probably one from my childhood... harry potter? i hate jk rowling ofc etc etc but harry potter was what got me into the world of books i think... well ive always been a reader but harry potter made me really obsessed with being a reader, and the months after reading it was magical and full of joy

18: "Which character from a book is the most like you?"

oh, definitely tori spring. it will always be tori spring. she is me at my best and she is me at my worst and she is me in my dreams and in real life and in every life that i have lived and will live. no, i will not explain.

34: "List five OTPs"

ooh hmmm. okay this isnt in order tho:

1. Alice and Henry from 'if you could see the sun' (it is my favourite romance book T-T)

2. James and Oliver from 'if we were villains' (it's been years and i am still not over them. i will never be, i'm afraid)

3. Wylan and Jesper from 'six of crows' (they are so precious to me. i would kill for them)

4 tori and michael from 'solitaire'

5. pip and ravi from agggtm

honourable mention: rin and nezha from 'the poppy war'. i didnt know if they counted since they were always more enemies than they were lovers... sigh. i miss my doomed-by-the-narrative blorbos

50: "Why do you love to read?"

i've always been a little afriad of living life, tentative with my friendships, scared of adventure, afraid of change, etc etc. so i like to live vicariously through characters. actually, my love for reading has many layers and branches of reasoning to it, but i find that this is the happiest and plainest answer i can offer, so it is all i will offer (for now? maybe i'll make a longer post some other time

thank you SO MUCH for this ask :DDD IT WAS SO FUN

[skitskatdacat63]

Tysm for the tags @monacobasedgirldad @schumigrace @fernandoalonzoo sry im a bit late getting to this lol

Are you named after anyone?

My great great grandmother(I think??), though she was named Katarzyna, and I was born Catherine, but go by Catie obviously(this lowkey annoys my mom lmao, especially bcs if I were to have a nickname, it was supposed to be Cate.)

When was the last time you cried?

Today, over classical music. I think I cry at least once a day 😭 I am very emotional

Do you have kids?

Nope :)

What sports did you play/have you played?

I played soccer when I was a kid. Also does marching band count?

Do you use sarcasm?

All the fucking time, literally constantly. And also we sarcastically bully each other in my family, so I have to pull myself back from accidentally insulting people 😭

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hmmmm, I feel like ive done this tag game before bcs I remember writing this exact answer. But usually I notice if someone is a good conversationalist or not. Like do they like to lead the convo, do they like to listen to the other people, do they talk too much, too little, are they awkward about it? It's just very interesting to me, bcs I think that kinda thing really does instantly show you if you're going to be compatible with a person(as a friend or more etc.) Cause I talk a lot a lot, and I think it's difficult to get along w people who are untalkative but also people who talk an equal amnt if not more djkfkglg.

What is your eye color?

Just brown!

Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies definitely. I mean im not opposed to a happy ending obviously, but that's not really what im always looking for in a movie, I guess? Rn I'm trying to think of my top movies, and man, not a lot of them have happy endings 😭 But I literally just watched two horror movies the past wknd so! Even though they make me paranoid

Any talents?

I think I could go on a rant about anything if you gave me a bit of time. I really think I can just talk endlessly. Is that a skill? Or is it just annoying..? But yeah I'm not sure, but I think I'm pretty good at absorbing information and being able to go on and on about it.

Where were you born?

America rahhh 🦅🦅 I like my state a lot even though I feel like all my peers keep saying "ugh I don't want to be in [insert state] anymore" Smh how dare you

What are your hobbies?

Mostly drawing! I draw both F1 fanart(pretty much all selfmade AUs tho) and ocs. I like writing lore and worldbuilding and meta, but not really writing itself. I like reading fic and watching movies as well. And I think one of the main things I do these days tbh is read about history and keep up with politics. I get more and more involved with it as the days go by, but unlike drawing, I don't really have an outlet for it sigh sigh. So that's why a lot of AUs involve history and random other things, bcs its fun to involve my interests with each other!

Do you have any pets?

Yes I do! Two cats and two dogs. The cats are named Jin and Frank. Jin is basically me in cat form, he's so anxious 😭 and Frank is like my brother, he's such a little bastard who loves to hiss all the time. My dogs are named Maisie and Ruby. Maisie is a menace to society, but she is also the most beautiful dog ever, so I forgive her. Her name makes me laugh bcs she's named after this book character, Maisie Dobbs right? So her name tag says Maisie Doggs

How tall are you?

Around 5'4

Favorite subject at school?

Politics >:) But I'm pretty interested in philosophy as well rn. Unfortunately my love for foreign languages has been slipping in the semester or so, bcs my professors on that side kinda suck. So I've been putting more energy into my other major, and now all I can talk about is history, politics and philosophy, etc etc. It's just a lot of fun and very interesting to me!

Dream job?

Man, sometimes I wish I could just be a student forever, I just want to keep learning all about the world and other things. But I'd like a job that's not too static, something that pushes me out into the world a bit, maybe smth in the government or like a non-profit idk yet!

Ahhhh I'm doing this a bit late so I'm not sure who's done it yet, I feel like mostly everyone has :,) I tag anyone who's interested, like seriously I'd love to see people's answers who I haven't yet!!