#you can't say you support mental health and mentally ill people and throw people who aren't selfaware under the bus

[expressionless-fr]

Remembered some narc abuse truther said something in the lines of... "if you're selfaware and know what's good and wrong it's not about you ily, you deserve love"

and.. do you realize that's still ableist right. do you realize people who aren't selfaware deserve love, human rights, choices, etc right? do you

you realize you're not being "progressive" by saying such, right?

[homunculus-argument]

I was born and raised American, but with everything that's happened over the past few years I've been considering moving to another country. but I don't know if this is just "the grass is greener". Not sure if this really fits with your blog, but as someone from Europe what's your attitude towards living in the US?

I've visited there a handful of times and most of my thoughts are "damn bitch, y'all really live like this?" People in Finland like to complain about the climate, the taxes, and how stingy the welfare systems are (if you currently rely on them) or how costly they are (if you're currently not relying on them), but honestly most of the time that's because people are used to having it so good, or don't really have a perspective of how bad everyone would be doing without the infrastructure that everything runs on.

Sure, nowhere is perfect, and there's always room for improvement, but honestly the people I've met in the US only really seem to think that their system is good because they've never been anywhere else and don't know any better.

Mostly it's stuff that you'd never think about if you hadn't been to both places, like being able to trust that tap water is drinkable or that you can safely walk/bike to wherever you need to go. The US really doesn't have the kind of ability to just hang out in public places, just walking to the town and sitting on benches. Having public parks and libraries isn't really the same if you can't just walk there, and you genuinely need a car to go anywhere.

I moan and lament a lot about how the winters here are hard to endure - at the darkest time of the year the sun rises at 9 and sets before 5 pm - but I wouldn't move from here just because of that, mainly because of how reliably everything is structured here. Sure, it's all run with funds from relatively high taxes, but that is a self-feeding loop on its own. The tax-paying workforce isn't a disposable resource that's wrung dry once and tossed out when it's broken, but even when you're just another cog in the machine, you're one that's maintained, not replaced if broken.

I had a lot of breakdowns when I was younger, largely due to depression and other mental issues I had due to the undiagnosed ADHD. When I started breaking down at work in my old factory job, they couldn't just fire me on the spot because of the workers' union fought tooth and nail to make sure that you can't throw people out for getting sick, and mental illness is treated no different from other health issues. I was allowed to take two years off work in order to study into a career I thought would fit me better. That didn't turn out well either, but I was still allowed to bounce back and forth between odd jobs, sick leave, and studying - all on government pensions during the spots when I wasn't working a wage - until I found the right diagnosis, the right medications, and the right job.

It's not a hyperbole to say that I owe my life to the ample and studry social welfare systems that Finland has in place. Sure, you're just another brick in the wall, a cog in the machine, but if you keep breaking down, it takes a long time until they completely give up on you if you can somehow make them believe that you're trying, because it's cheaper for the tax system to figure out how to make you fit into the machine than just toss you out. A human being is an expensive investment and if getting you to the right job, education, diagnosis, medication or even arranged housing is what it takes to get your ass back into the workforce, they'll at least try.

I'm perfectly happy to pay the taxes here to fund the system that helped me onto my feet when I was in no condition to function, and to support the people who never do recover, find their place, or be able to support themselves on their own. And I can live with the peace of mind that even if I fall apart again, that safety net is still there. It's brutal, pragmatic, and regards your health and welfare as a means to an end - to get you working and paying taxes again - but they still do prioritise your welfare. Cogs are cheaper to maintain than replace.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I broke up with my girlfriend for not taking her meds?

My (24M) girlfriend (28F) has bipolar and BPD. We've been together coming up on 3 years now. For the last half a year we were together it was pretty rough and turbulent, she was unmedicated and was having suicidal breakdowns almost every day, ended up in hospital several times, threatened and got into physical altercations with other girls who spoke to me or she thought were flirting with me, and I was spending almost every single day of my life having to take hours to talk her down from suicide or self-harm. It was emotionally exhausting and as someone who's also had suicide attempts in the past it was also incredibly triggering and damaging to my own mental health.

For additional context as to why I feel the way I do, my last girlfriend also had diagnosed BPD and NPD and when she stopped taking her medication she became fully abusive both physically and verbally and it took me a year of being absolutely beaten down to finally snap and leave her.

(Obvious note: I'm not saying everyone with bipolar, BPD, or NPD is abusive or that these illnesses inherently make you abusive. They were an abuser who just happened to have those things, and that played into how they acted and thought/felt.)

Current girlfriend eventually got medication and has been doing much better for most of the time since then. When she's on her meds she's a wonderful and generally pretty healthy partner - she's supportive, understanding of my boundaries, checks in with me, she's a year clean from self-harm, hasn't displayed any kind of self-destructive behaviour. She's gotten a job and managed to hold it down (got fired from several jobs in the past because of her daily meltdowns meaning she wasn't attending work), she's started exercising and going to the gym, she's picked up new hobbies, made new friends, she's just been doing great in general.

For about the past month though, she started going days without taking her medication and when I reminded her she would say she didn't want to, that she hated taking it, that she doesn't like the way it makes her feel etc. This is something my last girlfriend said too, and I know it's really common for people with BPD (and maybe bipolar too?) to stop taking their medication because they feel emotionally flat in comparison to how they feel off of the meds. I pretty much said that I couldn't handle going back to how she acts when she's off of the medication again and that if she was going to stop taking them then I didn't think our relationship would last through that kind of period again because last time it completely destroyed my mental health, my sleep, my life and several of my relationships due to how much energy and time I was having to put into her vs. myself and everything else. I suggested asking her doctor/psychiatrist/etc. for another dosage change or meds switch again to see if that would work better (though up until recently they have seemed to be working great so I'm not sure how good of an idea switching it up again would be).

She agreed at the time but I was kind of concerned about whether she'd been keeping up with it or not because over the last few weeks I've already noticed things devolving again - her screaming at me out of nowhere and having mood swings, intense jealousy and possessiveness, impulsive behaviour, even a couple of breakdowns again and having to talk her out of self-harm for the first time in over a year. True enough, today I found out she's been pretending to take her medication and throwing them out. When I confronted her about it she admitted she hasn't taken her medication for weeks.

I pretty much withdrew after that and didn't say anything at that moment but after a while she asked me why I was being so quiet and I basically repeated what I'd said to her in the last conversation, that I was honestly rethinking whether or not the relationship would work because I can't handle that kind of emotional exhaustion and constant sacrifice all over again. I don't mind some emotional support and some labour of love in a relationship because of course I'm going to need to look out for her mental health and reassure and comfort sometimes, that's the reality of loving someone who struggles, but I can't do it 24/7 again. I can't once again put talking her down for hours every day and weathering screaming and violent lashing out all the time at the expense of even my own basic needs and my own mental health struggles (for example my c-PTSD from my last relationship).

When I said that she got very very upset and basically said I was forcing her to choose between me and freedom or being able to live a normal/unmedicated life (which I mean, I guess I can't argue with because in a way I am making her choose between me and stopping her meds), and that I couldn't control her like that. I told her I wasn't doing it to control her and that if she's really determined to go off of them she could, but that I would have to make my own personal choice to walk away as a result of it for my own sake.

She said she'd think about it but ever since that conversation I've been going back and forth in my head on how much of a dick move it would be to flat out just do a black-and-white "Either you stay on your meds and regulate your behaviour or I leave"

TL;DR Girlfriend wants to go off of her medication, but when she's off her meds she has almost daily suicidal breakdowns and lashes out at me physically and verbally. WIBTA if I broke up with her if she goes ahead with stopping?

What are these acronyms?

[punkboyjack]

The shit lie of SRS in Iran

So it's a something stuck in my brain ( and my life ) that I think people need to know about it is the thing about LGBTQ+ people in Iran especially T because I'm trans and it's little too much complicated in iran

Bing trans in Iran has some benefits in look but it's a lie

We are known as mentally ill people

We have the same problems as any other LGBTQ+ person in the world but with a higher rate

Most of the time, they give strong psychedelic drugs and hormones to trans children ( or just LGBT childrens )

And I was so paranoid about it that I wouldn't take any of the psychiatrists' pills when I was depressed (my parents don't know that I just got better somehow and no one doubt about it)

The Iranian government also monitors online transgender communities, often subjecting them to censorship, and police routinely arrest trans people

Unfortunately most Iranian parents like boys so trans woman's are badly treated almost 92% of trans women in Iran faced verbal or emotional violence and over 70% had faced physical violence

And the rate of murder and attempted suicide among trans people in Iran is high (mostly trans women).

and that really sad bcz one of the trans woman's that a used to know have Ben send to who knows where for the military training by her dad because ( HE was not man enough)

1_pre surgery is hell : we go on a all girl / all boy schools and I think it's like Catholic schools over there

And people don't respect us we mostly have problem finding friends we don't have the From the social point of view, it is almost impossible to identify ourselves as transgender because the government has strictly separated men and women. I didn't really know what my problem was until I was 13 years old

Worst and most important part is telling our parents that we are trans and they should support us because all the work of the license is done with the consent of the family and even one of Iranian actors (Maziar Lorestani) had to wait 56 years until his father passed away and he was finally able to take HRT just think about it you are a 56 years old person a total mature and you can't do it without your father permission and don't forget they are totally free to rather kill you or throw you at the streets to rot

2_ the surgery is chipper here (it's a lie ) -> we spent Soo much money and time ( and mental health) on permission to do surgery and most of people who do this surgeries are not even have expertise in this work And they have long-term side effects that are not good at all

first submitted to a long and invasive process

including virginity tests ( idk whyyy)

formal parental approval ( I told you)

, psychological ( it's just the worst part you can't imagine how terrible this psychologists are )

inspection by the Family Court ( like a god damn criminal )

If we don do the HRT step by step we are basically nothing to them and Thay don't give a fuck about us unless we did something wrong or something and then we are basically dead as hell

Like let's say you are a heterosexual trans men who don't want to do a surgery and you have girlfriend who loves you and respect's you

Will no you don't you are just a lesbian to them and will if they found out what's between your legs you and your gf are going to be executed I'm not joking

3_After surgery, is hard as hell : discrimination, from the law, the state, and from the people around us

Given the lowest quality of hormone therapy, we usually do not have reliable sources for it . Surgery under the hands of non-specialists causes dangerous side effects, and if we are imprisoned, we will no longer get hormones

And not so fun fact : Most of the gay people in Iran are recognized as transgender and they have to tell us about the process because otherwise they will be executed. For the government, changing their gender of poor gay people shows a better face than killing them

And yeah rest of your gay life you are just unfortunate person stuck in a person of your own body

Bruh I read it all over and I'm not even close to the realty it's too much

[insomanic-fanfication]

Could I request an ask on how the batboys (Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian) react to male!reader resorting to drugs after a traumatic event and trying to stop his addiction for them? Like he tries to change for them and even goes as far as to try and tie himself to a chair kind of like the scene from tua with Klaus. (Idk if you do this but I’ve just been thinking about this for a while 😭)

Yes! I do asks along with requests! This is just the first one I have received. I hope this was what you were looking for when sending this ask! CW: Hard Drug use mentioned, a bit of ableism (mostly out of naivety), mental health issues, panic attacks, Reader triggers PTSD.

__________________Answered Ask Under The Cut_________________

Dick Grayson:

Dick doesn't have much personal experience with drug issues, But he's not blind to why someone would feel the need to resort to them. However, he would be very hurt if you thought you couldn't talk to him about your problems. It won't be anger or disappointment, not towards you, but towards himself. He would feel like he failed you in a way. When you tell him you've been trying to stop, he will do everything he can to get you what you need for your recovery. Will be your number 1 supporter. Will also comfort you as much as he can when you do relapse, telling you, 'It's okay, listen to me, look at me,' cupping your face with his hand, his caring blue eyes looking into your teary ones, 'Don't say that, please. You're not back to where you began. That progress wasn't for nothing.'

Jason Todd:

Jason would have a panic attack; he would try to keep it together but couldn't stop his breathing from quicking or the Adrenaline induced by fear. He couldn't; he couldn't lose someone to drugs again; it would break him. Would pull you into a bear hug, his grip almost suffocating, to try and ground himself with tears rushing down his face. When you tell him you're trying to stop, he would also try to help, but more as a guiding hand. He knows it's something you need to do yourself. Will stay up with you all night, holding your hair or loose clothing as you're throwing up. Kissing your forehead for reassurance while you're venting about the things that caused you to start. 'You're not weak for trying to cope with drugs; it's just a part of human nature.', gently holding your hand so you can't scratch yourself. 'Let's focus on how strong you are right now. You realized you didn't want to use them anymore, and you're trying to get better.'

Tim Drake: Tim hasn't had much experience on any side of drug usage. However, he has experience on the mental health side. The feelings of worthlessness, just wanting to escape from your own head. Just wanting everything to be okay, at least for a second. He would do hours of research, analyzing every recovery case, trying to see which helped the most for the most people. It would help you find ways to cope with your mental health problems, so there's less likely a chance of relapse. If you do or something doesn't work, he will get so angry with himself, calling himself stupid, trying to see why it failed, and then doing more research. He would have you get rid of the rest of the drugs when you were ready, having you put the needles or other methods in the correct places. So you can feel that change within yourself, so you can feel more in control. 'I know that was hard, but you did it. I'm so proud of you.' hugging you firmly with his face resting on your neck as you cry, not in sadness but relieve.

Damian Wayne:

Damian, being the youngest, would need more understanding of the situation. 'It's simple!' he yelled, 'Just throw them away and stop using them!? You are in control of yourself; using drugs is just a sign of ill self-control and weakness.' Would throw away your drugs and the method of taking them right then and there. Forcing you to cut cold turkey. At some point, he would vent to Dick about your "Stupidity," and that's who sets the record straight with him. Explaining that isn't how drug addiction works. Dick would get you a medical check-up when Damian told him what happened. Seeing the seriousness, let alone silent boiling anger coming from Dick, would make him realize that he was being an ass. At that point, Damian would isolate himself in his room, disappointed in himself for hurting someone he cared about. He'd sit next to you, a person-size gap between you as guiltlessness fills him. 'I'm..' he paused, trying to find the right words, ' I'm sorry that I did that.' he would continue with eyes still looking towards the ground. 'I didn't understand the severity of the situation; you don't have to forgive me. I just wanted you to know I was sorry for my actions.' After that, he would have his family take care of everything else, and if you let him, he would try to be emotional support.

_____________________________________________________________

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Tags: @n0cturna1-m3 Thought you would like to read this, too, cause I know you love Jason Todd.

[jasperjv]

Hey. So 2 years ago Connor Lavery's aka khonjin's psychological torture of me reached fever pitch in my psyche and I was involuntarily committed to a psychiatric hospital in a severe psychotic breakdown that lasted almost 3 months. Now I'm indexed in his long story of his supposed inexplicable persecution. He thinks me, in my psychotic state, demanding monetary compensation for his gaslighting and harassment, was some kind of attempt at "cancellation" and me throwing a tantrum instead of communicating like an adult. However I deleted my entire social media presence after getting back from the hospital and haven't bothered him since. But he still thinks I did something to him.

The man is dangerous. He believes that the worst sin of mankind is the ego, so he makes it his mission to bully the fuck out of everyone until they have no self-esteem, boundaries of their own, or healthy sense of self whatsoever. The elimination of the ego however is what psychosis is, also unable to suppress the flow of the unconscious, identical to a waking dream. But when that happened to me after 2 years of mind games, he retreated into himself and framed it in the most disgusting way possible. Which you will see.

Embedded here is the first video I made myself specifically on this topic. You will see more details in a more recent video, and follow the trail I put in that video's description to get my full story. For the podcast in particular I would give a content warning for assault, sexual assault, ableism ("saneism"?) and general torture and terror.

There's nothing on God's green earth I could do or say to force him to take me seriously. I have probably half of you people blocked because just seeing anything to do with him would make my blood pressure spike. And it's high enough as-is just due to genetics. Maybe the rest of you might be able to be reached.

I'm so sick of fucking self-centered freaks trying to hold me accountable for actual psychosis because they're so desperate to blame anyone or anything but themselves for their part in tragedy. I really get gaslit about my own psychosis, and forced to prove a negative repeatedly (which we know is a lexical impossibility). I'm handed a blatant double-standard about mental health awareness and basic human decency, when in many cases I desperately need it more than most. Schizophrenia sufferers are 1% of the population. We're dwarfed by most, if not all, other mental illnesses. In this I continue to be thrown alone to the wolves. Sometimes even while being laughed at, it truly feels like. So I feel like I have to do all in my power to help make sure that this happens to fewer people than it would otherwise.

The callouts in 2018, the types of points of persuasion they were trying didn't make sense to me. Maybe this, though, could strike others. I'm more specific about how exactly he destroys people from the inside out. Stay the fuck away from him.

He's scared of losing his financial support from Patreon and ad revenue or whatever. I really, truly felt for that for a long time. But now I know that none of us are obligated to keep his ass afloat. It would be nobody's fault but his own if he didn't even try to heal his fucked up mindset and was just a raging misanthrope nobody wants to deal with. When you get to be my age, you become aware of all the ways to make a living. He could get disability. He could get a factory job, for instance. And that paid me an absurd amount of money. He needs to make up his mind about if he wants to be around people or not. Because he can't keep treating them the way that he does.

Oh, and if you're reading this and you happen to have any social connections with him whatsoever, for the love of God, do not let him put you on the defensive. About anything. Over and over again. It chips away at you. He doesn't have the answers. He doesn't have any objective taste like he desperately wants to think. He doesn't know any wisdoms that you couldn't get from someone who won't talk down to you.

Took me quite a while to convince him of the truth that he is only older than me by only a few months. I needed my hope in humanity and the future in order to not go and end it all. He did not give a fuck. He kept accusing me of lying about not being a naïve teenager. Just for that. Ask any well-adjusted and experienced adult and they will tell you to stay far away from people like that. The motivations that drive them to that behavior and opinion are bad, bad news.

He is intelligent, in the scariest ways. Intelligence of that type allows dysfunctional people like him to fabricate lines of logic that justify and enable the abuse they already sought to do. Literally anything can be justified with just the right kind of logic. Trust your gut. Guard your mind. It's the only one you've got.

He leads an excessively stressful life, creates his own dysfunctional world both inside and around him. I truly believe that this causes him many health problems. I've been having nightmares because of him. And as this built up and weighed heavy on my mind I got a fucking hemorrhoid. It went away very quickly after I made this video.

I'm feeling anxious as I type this. But I have to tell myself that anyone who would continue harassment of me over all the truth I've spoken is not worth my time or space. This isn't for them. It's for me, and it's for people who still have basic respect and empathy left in them.

Yours truly,

"slug"

[gorgonstaringcontest]

This is a conversation I've had throughout my professional career quite often. I have to be cautious to avoid naming names, to keep my professional and online lives separate.

For context, the vast majority of my work involves talking about the worst aspects of the world at any given time. I speak at length and in great detail with people about the realities of anthropogenic climate change, petrochemical pollution, microplastics, ecological collapse, flora and fauna extinctions, the impact of geopolitical conflict on civilians, wealth disparity, and the failure of government and oversight bodies on these issues. The second aspect, I also am often exposed to discussions on many specific illnesses that do not have prevention, treatment, or cure - or do and are simply under-or-unsupported so their impact is not ameliorated - from various cancers, to genetic conditions, to neurodegenerative conditions, and more. The third aspect is sociological - human trafficking, homelessness, refugees, mental health and suicide, family and domestic violence, systemic issues affecting indigenous and first nations people, and education particularly supporting people who live with disability due to the failure of extant education systems.

That's not even all. And I've done this for thirteen years.

One of the subjects that comes up from time to time, often between people who have been around as long as me or longer, and those who are three or six months into their career is - how do we cope? How do we sleep at night? How do we reconcile our own lives with what we know, and how do we avoid falling into the stereotypes and logical fallacies that allow people to remain ignorant of these issues.

The truth is, it's different for everyone. We are all staring into the same sucking void of everything wrong in the world - with the knowledge that we're not even looking at 100% of it - but from slightly different perspectives.

Some of us will say that it's accepting that no solution is perfect, but any step in the right direction is worth taking. That if we care for what is within the sphere of our influence, and inspire others to do the same, then we are on balance making the world better.

Some of us will say we must reach as far from our own positions of privilege, whatever they may be, and amplify the voices of those who are the furthest from them. That the best course of action is to know our work is to directly counterbalance the disparity we know exists on whatever fulcrum we can see.

Some will say that we must hold truth to power. That because we are able to stand witness, it is our responsibility to do so. To tell the stories of the voiceless, and advocate for those who are not able to advocate for themselves. To make sure no voice speaks out alone.

Some say that they must strive to gain more power and influence to have the resources to make change possible. That the nature of finite resources means that to devote themselves to the acquisition and redistribution of that to those who have been deprived of the opportunity that provides is recompense for the injustice inherent to the world they've been brought into.

For me, it took a great deal of introspection. For those who have seen the nature of work without being involved in it, have asked me the same question in various ways - "how can you talk about all the ills of the world, and not give up? You spend hours talking about painful, tragic, preventable deaths. Exploitation by or failure of those who were meant to protect. The specifics of harm that happens to innocents. How can you feel normal after being mired in all of that? Why don't you just lose hope?"

And for me... After a lot of introspection, I realised - I can't give up. I take stock of what I have, and knowing what I do, I feel grateful. It throws simple experiences into harsh contrast because it's tempered by that broader understanding.

The other side is outrage. I am not angry, I am outraged - outraged, that a species of animal was killed to mine for gas or oil and is now extinct. Outraged that someone took their own life because they didn't get the help they needed. Outraged when someone dies of an illness that could have a cure by now, if only it was more profitable.

My outrage is not a flash in the pan. It does not spark and explode. It does not make me irrational, or lash out. My outrage is a fragment of uranium lodged in the center of my chest. Sometimes it feels like it existed before I was born, and will outlive me.

That outrage is the reliable core of my hope. It is not a delicate creature whose life is easily snuffed out. It's what drives me to do better and be better to bend those skills to changing the world for the better. It's not a last stand, it's a war of attrition. I've accepted that even if I live to be 100, the world won't be perfect when I die. But everything I've worked towards will have been to make the world the best, imperfect, version that it could be.

And I hope that those who came after feel the same way I do. That someone will wake up one day and find the fragment that called me home lodged in their chest, and continue to hope.

Daily reminder that we do not actually live in a dystopian movie put the apocalypse down and back away slowly. You know when your cleaning a room and you pull everything out of it's draws to sort through it and you're like "what the fuck have I done I'm never going to be able to tidy all of this" I think that's the stage we're at in the world. Thanks to social media we've pulled out all the messed up shit from the cupboards of the world, it was always there but now we can see it and we're going to have to sort it all out we made this mess and we can fix it. Falling to the floor sobbing will not clean a crusty room. A group of people working systematically (preferably with music in the background) will.

[unearthlydream]

hmmmmm i just lost so much respect for the majority of my co-workers....... one of my mentors who shaped me into the professional i am today too. this shit is insane.

i had rant typed in the tags but it was dumb long and it would be better to just drop this shit here.

we are sitting in a meeting talking about the “israel gaza war” (bullshit name, it's a genocide, but continue) and this bitch has the audacity to say that Palestine doesn't exist.

talking about how fearful she is of something happening and worrying about her family and children because she is jewish.... in america....

be so fucking for real right now. YOU'RE worried about your children and family??? what about the mothers digging their babies out of rubble??? the mothers who aren't even here anymore so their children must dig themselves out. the men doing their best to help recover bodies only to uncover that of a loved one.

talking about Palestinian students having a mental health crisis amidst all of this and just.... brushing it to the side like their lives and experiences mean absolutely nothing

talking about how throwing around terms like settler is 'dangerous' and that people aren't qualified to speak on the issue...

as if the black and brown people they're referring to know nothing of apartheid. of genocide and discrimination and targeted harassment from an oppressive class of people????

and then one of my bosses opens his big white ass mouth to say "Gazans only have support on social media because they won the game

'they only have support because they played the social media game better and got to the masses first'

talking about how college aged people are the bulk of people advocating for a free Palestine. and that their age somehow makes them unintelligent or unable to see the facts at hand (which as an aside how do you work for a UNIVERSITY and feel this way about college aged kids? Making fun of them constantly as they struggle to live in this oppressive world. it's disgusting).

CONTINUALLY referring to this genocide as a war. it's not a war when only one party has a nationally backed army

fuck you AND your war. fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

i was already thinking about quitting but i can't stay here. i can't be here.

our Palestinian students are aching. they just wanted to be acknowledged in the same way that the single Israeli student was acknowledged when the uni sent out a message on oct 8.

but that's too much. they're aggressive. FUCK YOU go to hell holy fuck

and then my one shit ass coworker who i already don't like brings up “oh well they faked the hospital bombing” “hamas did the hospital bombing” WE WORK IN THE MEDIA !!!! HOW DO YOU NOT HAVE MEDIA LITERACY????

it makes me sick. it makes me actually ill. i thought i was safe with all of these people. i thought these people were /good/ and /just/

i thought they at least had the brains to see past the blatant propaganda but they're all sipping the same shitty fucking kool aid.

the only one i like.... can kinda maybe forgive is my single jewish coworker. because i fucking get it. waking up to the fact that you've been lied to for so fucking long is HARD!! i know. i've had to do it regarding the racism and homophobia and other conservative backwash that was force fed to me

but like.... you have to do it. you have to unpack it and you have to face those uncomfortable truths and you have to stop being so SELFISH in the way you think about things.

i thought she was better than this. i thought she was better. i'm so devastated honestly.

Free Palestine. From the river to the fucking sea. There is no peace with a two state solution. They have stolen land just as all colonial powers have done before them and they are exterminating an entire culture of people.

and if you're scared of giving sovereignty back to Palestinians... unpack that. Why are you scared??? are you afraid that they'll treat you the same ruthless, cruel way you treated them?

And even if they do. Who do you have to blame?

it's crazy to support Islamophobia out of a fear for antisemitism.

Free Palestine. Shout it from the rooftops. Call your representatives. Every day more and more people will die and it's all of our burden to bear if we do nothing but sit by and watch.

[posts-for-when-im-high]

Tried redownloading Instagram recently and I have some thoughts....

I originally deleted it because of the endless void of pointless, time-wasting, brain-rotting Reels. I finally realized it was actively harming my (admittedly, already terrible) mental health. It's the same reason I don't have, and never will have Tik Tok. If I have endless content to scroll through in my free time, I'm going to. I'm bored easily and full of Mental Illness™️. Yes Tumblr is my home and I have dedicated far more years to this hellsite (affectionate) than any human should. Look at the way I type, for fuck's sake. But I have curated this hellsite over the span of quite a few years to cater to me: Blacklisting/filtering tags and content I don't want to see. Unfollowing and blocking people LIBERALLY, and without the burden of knowing them in real life. Only following juuuust enough blogs to make it so I can scroll and catch up to where I had last left off without wasting too much time. There is no """"algorithm"""" to speak of.

In less than an hour, I had inadvertently turned my Instagram "Explore" page into an infinite, hate-spewing, emotionally distressing flood of Reels.

It started off innocently enough. I was watching a video of a woman with a service dog listening to a mother teach her young daughter about why she couldn't pet the dog ("he's working, sweetie; his vest says 'Please Don't Touch'"). Then it started showing me videos of some not-as-friendly people interacting with service dogs; harassing, petting, disregarding the owner's pleas and nervous explanations about why their dog can't be distracted on duty. This progressed further, to videos of "Emotional Support Animals" who were CLEARLY not trained in any professional capacity, barking at/attacking actual service dogs. And if this wasn't upsetting enough, the videos then began to depict rude strangers harassing people in public about anything and everything. In roughly 43 minutes, I had a brand new, clean-slate algorithm actually PROMOTE TO ME a video of a self-titled TERF verbally assaulting a trans woman in a restaurant.

Many people have said it before me in a far more eloquent manner than my current brain can muster, but this is why people are able to transition so quickly into hateful individuals. It is APPALLING how little time it took for me to want to throw my whole phone in the garbage. I've worked so hard to truly curate my online experience into something I enjoy, and can handle on a regular basis. I tell everyone I know: "Use the Block button FREELY!!!! Filter out content you don't like!!! Blacklist tags you don't want to see, even if it's because you don't like spoilers, or you don't know your mutual's current hyperfixation Blorbo of the Week!!!" It should be NATURAL and EASY to unfollow content you aren't comfortable with! Even if I erase my history on Instagram, or delete and then redownload the app, it doesn't mean this won't happen again!! It happens all the time, all around the world, to the MILLIONS of people using Instagram, or Tik Tok, or Twitter, or ANY social media site without proper community guidelines.

It makes me really upset to think about how easy it is to turn someone into a cruel, uncaring person, and how hard it is to turn them towards kindness instead.

[whatisrambl3s]

yeah im done.

people on this app/website strive for mental health and being accepting of others but when a person who is not mentally right like them makes a mistake they trash on them like they're fucking trash to the earth because they don't understand right from wrong.

yall say you support mental illnesses and say you have them then trash on people who show symptoms of it. fuck y'all.

to all the amazing and wonderful artists who blocked me bc of slander, go ahead. keep blocking people who literally don't impact you or have not done anything wrong to you.

im so fucking happy to have people who support me no matter my mental state or what I do when I'm in a bad state. LEARN TO FUCKING COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU FFS. I'm not a brain-dead idiot who makes mistakes bc I'm an asshole, I'm mental. LIKE YOU. people throwing slander and shade piss me off, because you're ruining my life. I can't live a normal day without thinking someone hates me for something I didn't mean to do/didnt know was wrong. it's messing with my emotions, which means it's messing with me physically. It feels like I'm trapped. I just wanted to talk in DMS like adults.

that option is still open, cause I can't live like this.

sick of Tumblr, so fucking toxic

[thelightfluxtastic]

Disability Discourse

I've been sitting on my take on the various disability and cripple punk discourse for like a month because... ugh. But I suppose I should throw my two cents in. Ultimately I fall on the side of more inclusion within disability, and I think the more strict and exclusionary perspective relies upon some logical-seeming but ultimately false assumptions. Full essay under the cut. (CW for discussion of ableism)

My credentials: I've been disabled since birth, diagnosed cerebral palsy (spastic hemiplegia).

False Assumption 1: Physical and mental disabilities are meaningfully categorically distinct.

This is just...not true. Take my own cerebral palsy for example. It is by definition a neural disorder. For 90% of my life it was treated as purely physical: affecting my motor cortex, resulting in paralysis and spasticity in my legs, leading to other effects on my hip and back. And yet, I have vague mental symptoms resembling autism (sensory sensitivities, rigidity of thought, obsessive fixations) which, every tome I bring up to a mental health professional, I get asked "Are you sure it's not the cerebral palsy?" And I can't be! If I went to get an fMRI scan right now it still wouldn't give me a printout saying "these neurons are cerebral palsy and these are autism". But the lack of distinction between disabilities isn't just boiled down to "the brain is physical". Anxiety causes nausea. Caffeine can induce panic attacks. Also, disability as a category is a grab-bag. Cripplepunk is, according to the creator, for physical disabilities. But in the discourse I've seen flying around, I've seen people narrow it down further and say it's specifically for people with mobility issues. So are blind people not physically disabled now? What about people with GI issues? Skin cancer? No matter where you draw the line I promise you someone is drawing it somewhere else, and excluding someone you include. Related to this point...

False assumption 2: Physical disabilities are more visible than mental ones.

This is where I can see a lot of defensiveness coming from people with visible disabilities, particularly mobility issues. There's this idea of "yes I sympathize with people with mental illness, but they aren't going to get stared at walking down the street like I do in my wheelchair".

...except when the person with anxiety has a panic attack in public. ...except when the person with psychosis talks to themself on the bus.

It doesn't even have to be pathological or negative! The person with autism who is just happy-stimming is about as likely to be called a "spaz" by some random stranger as someone with an actual spasticity disorder. Because here's the thing: disability isn't defined by disabled people. It's enforced by abled people. And just like a homophobe won't ask if someone is gay or bi before calling them a slur, ableists won't care what the cause is- they just police weird bodies and behavior. They might use language that seems to favor one or another (the same way transphobic parents can act like they wish their child was "just" gay) but it's not actually genuine or true. The acceptance isn't actually there.

False assumption 3: It helps to delineate specific subgroups and keep out people who aren't "really" disabled

Now, I'm not against specific identity groups. I've been part of trans peer groups, etc. If you want to create a supportive social space for just people with [x type of disability], fine! Great! (Though ask yourself if and how you police that).

But at a societal level? Radical inclusivity only helps. If everyone who wore glasses thought of themselves as visually impaired, if everyone with a food allergy thought of themselves as disabled, if mobility aids were normalized for comfort and even temporary or occasional use- it would help everyone. Right now, lots of abled people don't bother thinking about disability rights because they don't think they have to. But if they started thinking of themselves as temporarily enabled? If they started thinking about the accommodations they might need as they got older (e.g. macular degeneration, hearing loss, mobility changes), or realized their own current needs, the world would improve for the better. It actively serves the disabled community if accessibility stops being thought of as a special concern for some unlucky people, and starts being thought of as something relevant to everyone, everywhere, all the time.

[billiedeanhwrd]

when i fell you were there, with your hands in the air

cordelia goode x fem!reader

summary: your depression is hitting you harder than most days, cordelia comforts you 🤍

warnings: depression, slight mention of childhood trauma, it's angsty mental health fluff basically

word count: 1.7k

a/n: this is my first ever fanfic and i'm very very nervous about it, so pls don't be too harsh, constructive criticism is very much welcome though!! also i'm sorry about any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language. i also have to add that this was very much self indulgent and based on my own experience with depression, so if you don't relate, that's fine, everyone experiences it differently. I hope you enjoy it tho, have fun reading <3

today was one of those days again. one of those days where everything seemed grey and pointless. one of those days where taking a shower was too exhausting. one of those days where it didn't matter if you left your clothes on the floor or a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. one of those days where you isolated yourself. one of those days that seemed to return to you every morning for almost 3 weeks now.

you had been struggling with depression for years now and attending therapy regularly still didn't take away from the embarrassment you felt about your illness. cordelia didn't know, you didn't want to burden her with your subjectively "silly" problems. It wasn't easy hiding something so life consuming from your lover, but whenever you were with her you felt as though you could reach for the stars and there was no point in ruining happy moments with sad stories.

Whenever you felt really depressed and unable to function, you isolated yourself. Cordelia and you had been together for 7 months now and the first time she thought she had done something wrong which had resulted in you needing space from her, but when she confronted you, you reassured her that sometimes you needed some time to yourself because you were a more introverted person. While that might be true, you wanted nothing more than for her to take you into her arms and tell you everything was going to be okay again, but the fear of possibly burdening the already very busy supreme held you back from confessing what was weighing you down.

you were used to this already, you always kept your darkness to yourself, too afraid of being too much or being abandoned by your loved ones, while the rational side of you knew that the people in your life who truly meant something to you would never abandon you because of your chronic depression, anxiety left no room for rationality.

you were always feeling kind of down, but some days it was easier to cope and enjoy your day despite that... and then there were those phases where you felt unusually down, those phases that caused you to isolate yourself and wait for the storm to pass in solitude. They usually lasted only a few days or maximum a week, but this one had been going on for much longer. cordelia was worried, you had never needed so much "alone time to recharge your social battery", but she didn't want to overstep your boundaries and possibly push you away, because what you weren't aware of was that cordelia too struggled with abandonment issues and fearing she would be "too much" (which she could never be for you, you adored every single second you could spend in the blonde witch's presence).

After leaving multiple text messages and trying to call you, only to be greeted by your voicemail, cordelia took it upon herself to see what was going on with you. The knocking on your door would've usually startled you, but you had just ordered a pizza, too tired to prepare a meal yourself and assumed the delivery was faster than they had stated on their website. your jaw fell open and the door was quickly closed again, shit shit shit, what am i supposed to do now? the place looks like a mess, i can't let cordelia se-

"y/n can you open the door please?" she asked in her gentle voice. "Uh, yeah, give me a second" you replied, hastily throwing on a hoodie that had been lying around on your couch, coincidentally that hoodie being one you stole from cordelia a few weeks ago, something that made your girlfriend's heart warm up a little and relieve her of some of the worried thoughts she had that this might be your way of signaling to her that you no longer wished to be in a relationship with her.

"can we talk? i haven't seen you in three weeks and you haven't answered any of my texts... what's going on? you know you can talk to me about anything..."

"uhm, yes, of course. sit down, make yourself at home, would you like anything to drink?"

"no, thank you, i just want to talk to you"

you didn't have the energy to lie to the woman who held your heart in her hands anymore, you were terrified of her reaction, not only to you being mentally ill but also to you hiding it for so long.

"i'm so sorry delia, please don't be mad", you anxiously stuttered out. cordelia grabbed your hand and smiled reassuringly, signaling for you to continue talking.

"I didn't tell you before because i know you've already got so much going on with the academy and i didn't want to pile onto that with my irrelevant issues... I was diagnosed with depression amongst other things a few years ago, it's something i have to deal with every day and some days are easier than others, but sometimes it all comes crashing down on me and i feel like i'm lost in an ocean of a sadness so powerful, i can feel the pain on my body. I know it can be challenging to be close to someone with severe mental issues and I understand if you don't want to continue being with me, i would never want you to stay with me because you pity me or because you're afraid i'd do something to myself if you'd left, you're not responsible for my feelings or actions and i would never want to impose you with such a burden and-"

you stopped rambling when you noticed the tears flowing down cordelia's cheeks.

your eyes widened and your heart started pounding rapidly in your chest. "i'm sorry, was that too much?"

"no, no, no, no, no... it just pains me to know that you've been dealing with this on your own for such a long time because you don't value yourself enough to believe that other people might want to support you through your everyday battles. y/n, i know you, you're the girl who's always there when someone else needs a shoulder to cry on, anytime, anyplace, you always go out of your way to make others feel seen and accepted, why would you ever think that you don't deserve the kindness you so openly give to others?"

now it was you who was crying, cordelia was right, you didn't value yourself enough to believe that. you didn't actively think of yourself as less than others but that thought always unconsciously motivated the way you dealt with the things that were bothering you.

cordelia patted her lap, signaling for you to sit on her lap and come into her arms. you hesitated though, you weren't used to being so vulnerable and open with your emotions and it scared the shit out of you. you feared cordelia was possibly annoyed at you and was only doing this to get it over with and then get out. she watched you, while you were anxiously deciding what your next move would be, her heart broke for you, you looked like a scared baby dear when all she wanted to do was to comfort you.

"baby, look at me"

her chocolate colored eyes were so full of love, simply looking into them managed to get your heart rate down.

"it's okay, i'm not mad at you for talking about your feelings and all i want to do right now is to hug some of your pain away, so please, let me hold you"

you melted at her gentle words and understanding nature, cordelia was an incredibly smart woman, who went through traumatic things herself and even from that little information you shared, she understood you. she saw her younger self in you, so incredibly lonely but oh, so scared of being vulnerable with another person, due to the emotional abuse her mother subjected her to, and while she might not have gone through the same things you did, she felt like she understood your feelings in this exact moment and she wanted nothing more than to make you feel safe with her.

you slowly crawled into her lap, still afraid this was all a trick to hurt you, but when she started combing through your hair and reassuringly whispering "i've got you" and "you're here with me, i promise you, you're safe", you relaxed into her arms.

after about half an hour of laying there with each other, calming down and enjoying the other one's warmth, you spoke up.

"delia?"

"yes, my love?"

"so you're not leaving me?", you hesitantly asked.

cordelia sat up and looked straight in your eyes while asking "would you leave someone you love because they're depressed?"

"no, never"

"then tell me, sweetheart, why would i leave you?"

her response left you speechless, you almost missed her confessing her love. "you love me?"

she hugged you tight and pressed a kiss on your forehead. "more than anything, and please, never worry about telling me about what's going on in that pretty little head of yours, no matter what it is, i wanna know, okay?"

you let out the breath you didn't know you were holding and confidently replied "okay"

a few minutes passed before you spoke up again when you remembered you didn't say those 3 special words back.

"i love you too, by the way"

cordelia smiled lovingly and stood up to reach out for your hand and pull you up. "i know, now let's go to bed, we can clean up this place tomorrow"

you accepted her helping hand and engulfed her in a hug. the way she so naturally used the word "we" and didn't seem to mind helping you clean up your mess of an apartment made you more emotional than you'd like to admit.

And while you knew this would not be the last time you were overwhelmed by your depression, you now knew that you could count on the woman who loved you to stand by your side and help you get through even your hardest day.

[invisiblefoxfire]

This is so fucking important. I stayed in multiple abusive relationships for years because I was positive my abusers weren't hurting me on purpose. Every portrayal of abuse I'd ever seen was someone evil who liked hurting people. But my partners didn't have some big nefarious plan to abuse me. They didn't know any better. They didn't understand the harm they were causing. They'd been abused in the past and had their own trauma to work through. They promised they'd go to therapy.

Sure, I was living in constant fear. Sure, I stopped speaking to friends because it made them jealous and it was easier to just not provoke them. Sure, I flinched every time I heard footsteps in the stairwell of my building in case it might be them coming home. Sure, I hid in the bathroom sometimes claiming stomach upset just to have a moment of peace. Sure, sometimes they screamed and shouted and got drunk and broke things and made all kinds of threats over the most inane, stupid things. But they always apologized after. They'd break down crying, sobbing, begging me for forgiveness. They'd tell me they were a bad person, a miserable creature who didn't deserve to live, suggest that they should just jump in front of a train and rid the world of their presence because my life would surely be better without them and they couldn't live without me.

And I'd say, see? They don't want to hurt me. They're just damaged and need love and support. They have no one but me. I can't just abandon them. I'd seen too many Hollywood portrayals of mental illness that could be cured by love and I thought I could save them if only I endured a little longer.

And I still don't think their intent was to hurt me. Their intent was to get what they wanted using whatever means necessary. They were damaged and probably did need help, but not from a partner. Not from me. Even if it wasn't their fault they were like this, it certainly wasn't mine, either, and it was not my responsibility to endure their abuse hoping that one day my love and patience would cure them. You can't cure an abuser of their trauma by enduring their abuse. That's not how it works.

The only reason I got out of my last abusive relationship was that a friend happened to say just the right thing at just the right moment. I knew I was unhappy and wanted to leave, but I also knew that the partner had nowhere else to go and would be homeless if I threw them out. And I just couldn't bring myself to do that to someone, even someone who was absolutely destroying my physical and psychological health and tearing my life to shreds.

"Yup, you're right. You're absolutely right. You can't throw out your alcoholic abusive partner who refuses to get a job, because they have nowhere else to go. You just have to stay. You just have to stay with them, living like this, in constant fear and stress, never sleeping, hardly eating, watching them throw away all your money until you can't afford rent anymore and then you can be homeless together."

It hit me like a ton of bricks. That friend was right. Making myself endure that partner's abuse was not helping that partner in the slightest, it was only ruining my life. Instead of one broken person, there would now be two.

And let me tell you something, friends. When I finally said "I want to break up and you need to move out," the first reaction was begging, apologies, give me one more chance, I love you so much, I swear I'll change. When I said "Nope, no more chances, we're done," they changed tactics to threats of suicide. I'd prepared myself for this. I knew it was probably an empty threat but I had to face the possibility that they really might do it, and to know, deep down, that it would not be my fault if that happened. "Nope, no more chances. If you want to die, I can't stop you." And that's when their true colors showed. Because when that threat didn't work, they didn't throw themself in front of a train in despair. They moved on to the next tactic: threats to harm me. Accusations that I'd been "using" them this whole time, that I just wanted a partner and pretended to care about them so I wouldn't be single, and that I "owed" them for that. Demands that I repay them for that with money or sex or free housing. And only when I threatened to call the police and actually started dialing did they drop the threats, the begging, the promises, the accusations, and simply leave. Like a switch had been flipped. (And it turned out that they did not wind up homeless. They conned someone else into giving them free housing after that and probably is still doing that to this day.)

I don't think most abusers' intent is to harm their partners. I don't think they think of themselves as abusers. But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter why they treat people the way they do. Even if they are suffering themselves. Enduring that mistreatment does not help them, it only hurts you. You don't deserve it.

random, but I think the way people talk about abusers as hypercompetent, calculating manipulators that Know exactly what they're doing makes it easier for people to get into abusive relationships

[imasimpforstevengrant]

Why do we like this clown so much?

Change the "we" for "I" and you get an usual tag I use whenever I post my content in Tumblr. And it sounds funny at first but whenever you start diving into that phrase, the deeper it becomes. So, I finally have decided to share my thoughts about this strange but wholesome attraction to this deeply flawed character. It's not something I usually do since I don't know how to write down my feelings properly and also in english so please forgive any typos (I'm from Chile so don't be surprised lol).

So...Why do we like this clown so much?

Why was it that a character precisely designed to scare and to disgust the fuck out of us ended up unchaining a series of feelings that shouldn't have taken place in a beginning?

Let's take a look at the background: Joaquin Phoenix was cast as Arthur Fleck/Joker in 2018. The first image of him as the aforementioned character revealed a deeply disturbed man. We knew the plot. A man driven to insanity after a brutal history of abuse, creating concern in people if the upcoming film would inspire real life violence. Incel violence and mass shootings, more specifically.

(the image in question)

As 2019 arrives, the two trailers generated so much hype that media needed to fuel its concern about it. Since it wasn't your typical comic book film, media basically bombed our minds making us believe this film was going to be a total disaster, an excuse to cause harm to others among other nonsense, as if the film would justify everything Arthur would do in the film, eventually. As the release date is closer, the film receives thunderous applause and unanimous praise from critics. At this, fans rejoiced and expressed impatience to watch the film.

October 5th.

People left the theaters amazed, shocked and genuinely moved by the inhuman treatment Arthur received in the film. The fear media tried so desperately to infuse in us with all the incel bullshit and such turned out to awake one of the most positive, best feelings in humans:

E M P A T H Y

The word that so gloriously cleared away any dark thoughts or actions not only proves media was wrong but it turned out to ridicule it in way nobody will forget: Hundreds of people advocating for mental illness, calling out to the kindness that could change a person's bad day and questioning how politicians and rich people are indifferent to social problems proved how much as a society we have changed in comparison with the one shown in the film.

However, since we are on Tumblr, I'll get straight to the point and try to explain why the fuck does this clown has us dying out of love and compassion (and lust).

I. Background.

As nurturing as we women are for a biological matter, we see a man deprived of a good job, is on seven different medications, working like a slave to sustain his ill mother, putting aside his own health and well-being to look for her, struggling to make his dream of being a comedian despite everyone stepping on him, underpaid and treated like a freak for a disorder he did not ask to suffer, which makes it impossible to be indifferent to all the horrible ordeal that eventually will reach the limit of what he can tolerate without going insane. It is impossible to not say or think, at least, that someone (even if it's just one person) should stand for him just as it is impossible not to feel the need to throw ourselves at him to shield him from people who hurt him or simply offer him our shoulder whenever he has had a bad day, specially when he learns he was sexually assaulted by his step father.

This horrid behaviour terrifies newer generations because they get a taste of what being a social outcast was like more than thirty years ago in comparison with today, where there's more acceptance and treatment for mentally ill people like Arthur. We see in him someone who could have been saved with a proper education and emotional support instead of descending into madness as a criminal. Others simply saw themselves being treated like him at some point in their lives and couldn't help but put themselves in his shoes.

II. Personality.

TRUTH BE TOLD:

There's something called "attraction by proximity". It is the explanation to the eventual love you feel whenever someone doesn't catch your eye at first terms of physical attraction but his/her personality does attract you. This happens to be the base of this situation. His shyness, introverted nature, tenderness and innocent desire to make people laugh and put on a happy face awake some kind of tenderness we cannot resist. This combined with the gloomy background increases our understanding (but not justifying) of the bad decisions he'll eventually take during the course of the film. This traces a line of harsh, almost hurtful contrast of the violence he shows later on the film. Once again, it is not justified in any way but it is certainly understandable.

III. Appearance.

Arthur Fleck is unconventionally attractive.

This happens to be a plus for most women. He is out of the male beauty standards (no abs, not too muscly or particularly tall), which makes him even more unique. It is precisely the fact that he's not a model one of the reasons women love him. He could easily be your man next door or your colleague or the guy you always see but never dare to talk for fear to bother him Because it's about proximity. Arthur looks like your common neighbour. He's not meant to be your typical desirable male protagonist at all.

... And yet.

Jesus Christ, he's so fucking hot I can't even---

It's not about how beautiful his green eyes are, his long slender fingers, his hair or his smile only. It's the charm behind it.

Another "magnet point" is the way he dresses. I know he's impoverished and his wardrobe tend to be repetitive but it is so unpretentious, so simple that is hard to not fall for. The modesty of the shirts, ironed trousers reminds us of a mature man deeply withdrawn into himself, love starved and longing to be seen and loved by others, like a war veteran who still fights the most important war: with himself. Is someone who needs to be listened and understood.

AND OF COURSE WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT IT?

He's also brought back the old gentleman outfit, white shirts, red/yellow vest, red suit and elegant dancing moves and the retro style of the film boosts this attractiveness.

People keep comparing him with the previous interpretation of Joker (Leto's) whose costume appealed to young women with a tattooed, gangster, mumble rapper crazy-guy wannabe which didn't connect with the audiences (young people in general). This supposedly was to match or even have a sexy, tormented and desirable villain like Marvel's Loki. We all know how that story ended but it's the link for the next point below.

IV. Transformation

This is a particularly strong point considering how much we loved to watch the process of this weak, powerless, forgotten caterpillar into a beautiful and visible butterfly that will gracefully stir its wings for everyone to see its colours.

When Arthur transitions to the Joker, it's so cathartic to see taking revenge on those who wronged him (even when we're not supposed to root for him) like seeing his shyness fading away into a vivid confidence when dancing half naked in the bathroom, or witnessing him making way to make his name known to people in Murray Franklin's Show:

Adding to this newly gained confidence, there's another turn on: the way he walks.

At the beginning, his pace is hunched and limping, displaying his submission to violence, which makes the viewer more satisfied to see his broken yet beautiful soul turning the past pain of his existence into art: he lets music guide his moves as a way to tell the world he's a new man by cutting most of the sick, evil roots that harmed him, that he's invincible, that no one can stop him. Watching this cathartic display of euphoria was the most iconic scene in the film, following his speech at the TV and the inevitable meltdown that caused Murray's death.

Going to further appreciation, even his clown make up is beautiful. Why? Simple. The combination of colours, shapes and the intimidating glare just embellishes even more the character.

The dark blue triangles in his expressive eyes makes the light green colour to highlight, specially in dark backgrounds, giving the impression he's piercing your soul whenever he stares directly at the camera. Same can be said about the red smile and emerald green hair. They boost an already intimidating look.

The cold and warm colours paint a picture of a man full of intense emotions, mirroring it in a simple yet masterful artistic way.

Another interesting point is the way Joker dresses. Usually we had almost every single live adaption of this character in purple coat, hat, etc. But this particular version is not following any comic, which gives more freedom to creativity and once again, out of the standards of what we could have expected.

Red is a colour related to passion, action, love, strength, motivation and excitement. As for yellow, it indicates freshness, happiness and enlightenment and finally, green. Green is renewal, growth and regeneration. Colours that represent a new stage in his life, a mirthful chapter at last. We finally get to see our battered, always humiliated protagonist (or hero) descending into madness, but finally free from his repressed man who held his soul captive like a bird to fly away, to never come back. An insanity that despite being his downfall, turned out to be his ticket to freedom as he walks to the light in Arkham Asylum dancing at the end.

Ladies and gentlemen: behold the film nobody asked... But the film we fucking deserved.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

❤️💚💛

[sunnyelfs]

Okay so obviously I have more to say about it. But honestly. Thank god for Heartstopper. Thank god for creators like Alice Oseman. She chose very serious topic for her story and cared enough to give it an actual good representation. I can't express how much it pisses me off to see people making fun of Heartstopper, comparing it to other queer media (YR in particular) and saying it's silly and naive. It's wrong on so many levels to pretend that drama is somehow better or even the only "right" way to talk about representation. Straight kids/teens have tons of corny love stories, but queer youth can't have it for some reason? Okay, cool. But it's not even what I want to say here. Heartstopper is reaching young audience (comic books are meant for even younger people, as the series added more explicitness to the story) and delivers GOOD MESSAGE.

And here's the moment to get back to the comparison I've made in the beginning.

So, both lines are being addressed to 16-years boys who are worried about their bf's mental health. Both lines are meant to come from parental figure.

First one is a healthy way to guide a teen in this situation. Saying "he needs someone who knows how to treat this illness, a real doctor, not another teen" is some great words coming from loving and responsible adult. Saying "you can support him, but it won't substitute for real treatment" is effective way to talk about what you can do for your partner. "There will be good days and bad days" as an implication for the fact that this kind of issues will stay with you for a long time, maybe forever. It doesn't mean you can't live and be happy. You can, but you'll have to learn how to. It's supportive and inspiring. It can be turned into a framework that will help both of them. Not only in this situation, it's a good thing to learn and use in future.

The second one? It might be okay, sure, but I personally hate that message. Not just on it's own, but in terms of the whole story that ALSO speaks about mental illness, but doesn't care to properly address it. This was my biggest issue with the whole season turnout. Running away from things that hurt you will work only on a short distance. You need to be ready to face it, so you can deal with it and find a way to move on. Love is great, support from your partner is awesome, but it won't solve the issue.

LOVE CAN NOT CURE MENTAL ILLNESS.

Love can be hard sometimes. It's not all happiness and butterflies. It's hard to see your partner struggle. It's hard to comprehend that you can't magically make them happy. But it doesn't mean you're worthless or your relationship is doomed. If you're not happy with it - leave. If it's too hard for you - leave as well. It's okay to put yourself first, nothing can be wrong with that.

But this message can and should be delivered in different terms.

Maybe don't use mental illness as a major part of your character's life and throw it into burning pile. Don't sprinkle your "realistic drama" with a fairytale ending saying "it's only beginning, it will got better eventually" and pretend you did something here. If you want to make a political statement, make a political statement, don't mimic it to be something else.

I will die on this hill.

"Love can't cure a mental illness" >>> "Love shouldn't be this hard."

Here. I said that. Thank you for attention.

[naamahdarling]

hello friend, i am a clueless (non-american, i'm so sorry about the state of your country's healthcare) budding med student here, i'd love to hear your perspective on how the medical institution can improve. what would help You? how i can make a good difference for people struggling with their mental health (and struggling with a system that loves to turn a blind eye on them-) when we're taught fuck-all about this? hey thanks, and you're worth it, i believe in you, you can do it!!

ETA: just parsed the part where you aren't necessarily in the MH field. May add better answers for gen practitioners later but some of this will still be helpful.

Educate yourself on the issues by reading and listening to disabled and mentally ill people. Really work at it. The blogs we keep and the comments others leave there are very helpful.

"Here's a number you can call" is worth way less than "I can sit here and help you while you call." At the same time, understand that phone anxiety is more common than you think and putting clients on the spot can be scary and they may need time to prepare and make a call at a later session. Help them prepare a script if they like.

If you refer someone to a service, you better make damn well motherfucking sure they offer those services and that your client qualifies. Don't offer useless help, it makes you a fucking asshole.

For handouts that list resources, make sure the numbers are updated regularly, and make sure that places you refer patients to are queer friendly.

If you notice a lack of something in the handouts (e.g, no ED groups) see if you can find some to add.

12 step AA style programs are everywhere for everything from addiction to anxiety. They are not effective for many, many, many people. Possibly most. Never ever refer someone to one without offering one or more alternatives.

Some people don't want group therapy. Some won't benefit and they know that, some are not comfortable in a group setting. It's not therapy lite, it is it's own separate and distinct thing. Do not try to push someone into group as a consolation prize for not being able to get individual therapy.

Understand that we are angry with the system a lot, and for good reason. If we seem curt, sharp, indignant, or defensive, there are reasons for that.

Our trust is earned. Many of us will optimistically choose to extend the hand and open up, but not all of us will, and that is SO understandable.

Sending someone inpatient is traumatic and a breach of trust. Be prepared for the fallout, for them not to trust you, and for the weight of the knowledge that you just helped break a little more of their spirit and dissolve a little more of their trust in the system. It may sometimes be necessary, but it isn't kind. (Not all medicine is kind. It can't be. Regardless, it is your responsibility to be as kind as possible.) Remember that, and be slow to do it.

Do everything you can to reduce wait times.

Ask patients about their experiences seeking care. Did they have a long wait for care? Have they had good or bad experiences?

No Fox news or health channel stuff in the waiting room. That shit is all toxic. Be aware of what magazines are in waiting areas. If your clinic serves ED patients, throw out the Cosmos and the fatphobic "health" mags. No Christian literature.

Lobby to get forms at your facility changed to be trans/nb friendly.

"Nicknames" aren't nicknames for some people. Trans folks usually change their names before they change them legally, sometimes by many years. Make sure your facility respects and supports use-names.

Make sure queer people are VISIBLY welcome. Flag colors on signs saying "we welcome everyone" at minimum. Especially do this if there are Christian quotes and whatnot visible. Secretaries should be allowed to have personal cubby decor that includes that, but pro-lgbtq stuff needs to be just as visible. You need to counter the metamessage of hostility those send to people who have been oppressed by people using religion as an excuse. We are often VERY uncomfortable in offices that have cutesy little Bible verses scattered around. If that makes you feel defensive, don't go into practice until you have worked through that.

Ask pronouns.

Educate yourself about queer issues. Don't expect patients to educate you. We are tired.

Make sure you know which of your colleagues are/are not queer-friendly. Protect your clients from the ones who are not in any way you can. Advocate.

Make sure clients, adults AND kids, know that you will keep sensitive information confidential. Don't out people for anything.

Return calls promptly, if only to schedule a later call. Under no circumstances fail to get back to someone altogether.

Follow up with other people they may see at your facility. Case manager, prescribing doctor, etc. Make sure the patient was seen, ask if there are any problems.

If something you are about to say sounds like a quote that could be printed in a pretty font over a nature scene, it's probably a platitude. DO BETTER.

You can have two clients or two hundred, it doesn't matter. If someone feels lost in the shuffle, feels like you don't know them or remember them, you're falling down on the job. Do better.

Never say that "it's not personal" when the system is failing patients. That SUUUUPER doesn't matter!

Remember you are in a position of power over your clients. That's scary for us.

Understand that those of us who have been dealing with our mental health issues for a while and have been in the system for a while are very resourceful. "Try these obvious and basic things" makes us tired and we leave a little disgusted. "Which of these have you tried and are there any you would like to try?" is better.

We come to you at our worst. Don't expect us to be able to magically solve our own problems because you dropped what you think is some little pearl of wisdom in our ear, or handed us a paper with outdated numbers on it. If we could, we wouldn't be there. We need help, not a pep talk.

Don't be a snitch. If someone is doing something on the side for a little extra money but they are on disability, don't rat them out. Don't put it in your notes where SSI can see it.

Maybe send me $20-$50 via paypal for answering your questions because my time is valuable and your request was kinda presumptuous tbh. I appreciate your desire to do right, I wish you the best, but we are not educators. paypal.me/agannon

Know that I didn't do this for you, I did it for your patients.