#you can say what you want about it being hollywood to the bone but i think theres a respectable craftsmanship and vitality to them that

[brainjuicey]

dare i call tom cruise a filmmaker?

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Lauren Bacall (To Have and Have Not, The Big Sleep, Key Largo)—"Just put your lips together...and blow" excuse me ma'am i'm briefly going to turn into a kettle. She's the quintessential Femme Fatale who may betray me in the end but I'd let her it'd be worth it

Gloria Grahame (It's a wonderful life, Oklahoma, Human desire, The Cobweb)—I'm just going to link to this Film Comment article by Donald Chase, who makes the argument more eloquently than I can, although I think Grahame's Ado Annie is more than just the 'flirtatious goofus' he offhandedly describes her as. Between that role and Violet Bick in 'It's a Wonderful Life" she's played two of cinemas best irrepressibly horny ladies. That would be legacy enough for our hot vintage queen, but she is also GLORIOUS in 'In a Lonely Place' and consistently pulls focus from her co-star Humphrey Bogart, famously one of the most charismatic leading men of his day. I think she had even more, and hotter, chemistry with him than he ever had with Lauren Bacall, which is saying a lot I know. Anyway, your honor I love her and I want her to win it all.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Lauren Bacall:

"She is soooo neat. And hot. And everything. That one scene in To Have and Have Not where she says "you know how to whistle don't you? You just put your lips together and blow" altered my brain chemistry during media archaeology class and here we are."

"Lauren Bacall was a major lesbian awakening for me. Every picture of her makes it look like she’s about to destroy you physically and emotionally (why is that so hot, I may need help). She had incredible long running chemistry with her husband, Humphrey Bogart, but was an absolute star in her own right. I’ll never be over my crush on her."

"She's got that confident, no-nonsense air about her. She's a boss babe who knows what she wants and gets it DONE. Staunch liberal Democrat her whole life. Campaigned for RFK. From Wikipedia: "In a 2005 interview with Larry King, Bacall described herself as "anti-Republican... A liberal. The L-word". She added that "being a liberal is the best thing on Earth you can be. You are welcoming to everyone when you're a liberal. You do not have a small mind."" Beautiful hair. Beautiful eyes. Beautiful lips. She's just beauty. LISTEN TO HER VOICE. TELL ME THAT'S NOT THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF."

"HER VOICE. Like yeah, she was absolutely stunning but oh my god, I'm obsessed with her voice"

"A gorgeous lady inside and out. One half of an absolute power couple with Humphrey Bogart, tended to him and other actors suffering from malaria whilst filming the African Queen, generally radiated grace and poise throughout her life. Also her last role was in Family Guy so she needs justice for that"

"The VOICE, the SLINK, the EYES. Woof."

"She was stunning. Tall and beautiful with a distinctive voice and able to carry her own in a male dominated field. She won the heart of millions, including one of Hollywood's most iconic leading men, Humphrey Bogart. Their story was the stuff of legends, and the chemistry between them was apparent in the multiple films they started in together. She personified the film noir dame and yet she also adapted as Hollywood changed. Her career spanned decades, and she was honored multiple times."

Gloria Grahame:

Absolute Hollywood vamp, who had a fine comedic bone. Died far too young and was depicted by Annette Bening in the stellar Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool

I’ve heard she’s horrendously miscast in Oklahoma (I have not seen it), so if you’re coming in with that framework PLEASE set that aside because gods does this woman shine in a NOIR!! She plays the battered woman more than a full on fatale, but she manages to bring interesting nuance to characters who are written as mere sultry divergences! Also: she’s sultry and an EXCELLENT divergence

She could do sexy, sweet and sinister in the same breath. She was crazy talented and had that lisp that melts me every time.

[unactive-shroom]

VALENTINES EVENT ♡

Hey guys! So, as a thank you for being so patient while I was inactive for exams, I've decided to hold a Valentines day event! To request, simply head to my ask box, say what character you want it for and what prompt you want with it.

PLEASE CHECK HERE IN CASE YOUR PROMPT AND CHARACTER HAS ALREADY BEEN REQUESTED: HERE

Normal rules apply! see here for fandom list <3

Examples:

"Hey! Can I get Eren Yeager with prompt #5?"

"Hii, could I get Sally Face with prompt #14?"

"Hello! May I request Hobie Brown with prompt #13? Thanks! "

PROMPTS:

Prompt #1: Love Letters ♡

"Coming home one evening to your empty apartment... It seems your partner has left a neat stack of letters for you on the kitchen counter, tied with a pink ribbon..."

Prompt #2: Jerk ♡

"'What kinda Jerk breaks up with their partner on Valentine's?' It seems your friend has some very vocal opinions on your partner ex. Maybe they could treat you better..."

Prompt #3: Love Language ♡

"What's your partners Love Language? How does it change throughout your relationship?"

Prompt #4: Proposal ♡

"It seems like someone has a very important question to ask... and what better time to do it but on Valentine's night?"

Prompt #5: Jealousy, Jealousy ♡

"After receiving a few anonymous Valentine's, it doesn't seem like your partner's too happy about it..."

Prompt #6: Gifts ♡

"What did your partner get you for Valentine's day? What did you get them?"

Prompt #7: It's a Date. ♡

"Looks like someone's worked up the courage to ask you out for Valentines...!"

Prompt #8: Trouble in Paradise ♡ (Specify Angst/fluff, please!)

"You and your partner spent the day before Valentine's arguing and yelling. Will you make it up before Valentine's is through? Or will this years Valentine be the worst yet..?"

Prompt #9: Meet me at the lakes...♡

"Seems like someone has sent you a valentine! They're asking to meet you... Who could it be?"

Prompt #10: Forgotten ♡ (Specify Angst/fluff, please!)

"Your partner seems to have forgotten all about Valentines... or maybe, just forgotten about you."

Prompt #11: Ready ♡

"Getting ready with your partner to go out for Valentine's! Is your partner used to dressing up? How long does it take to get ready with them?"

Prompt #12: Help from a few friends ♡

"Your partner has planned the best surprise for you! Of course, they needed the help of a few friends though...Let's hope there's no third wheels!"

Prompt #13: Double Date! ♡

"You, your bestfriend, their partner, and your partner, are going out for a double date! Will both of your partners get along? Or will the night end in a dairy queen parking lot, scolding your partner for their behaviour? "

Prompt #14: Hand in marriage ♡

"Valentine's has to be the best day to get married on... right? or is this a spur of the moment, Hollywood-esque marriage? Or, maybe you and your partner simply don't have the time to waste." => aimed alot at aot characters... marrying them before they (or both of you) go to war... :(

I'd also like this event to acknowledge the expansion of fandoms I write for, In particular, I am reopening requests for Attack on Titan, Percy Jackson (From Heroes of Olympus +) and Jujitsu Kaisen, and I will now write for SHADOW AND BONE/SIX OF CROWS, HARRY POTTER*, and SPIDERMAN: ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE.

That's all! Hope you enjoy :P And happy Valentine's Day !!

[taylortruther]

What are your thoughts on fans being anti-Travis due to his problematic associations? He’s affiliated with the NFL that is known for domestic abuse, and while I know you will say it’s not his responsibility to address, doesn’t being associated with such an organization say something about him? It seems like Taylor is okay with it. But when you tell those people that all people are imperfect they act as if he is irredeemable. Is he?

i dislike most sports because they are part of a culture that i just can't support, so i understand people having the ick about the nfl or players in general. but "irredeemable"? people cannot seriously think this fjdkasl

football is massively popular in the us, and assuming that everyone who plays it, enjoys the game, or associates with the players is "pro domestic abuse" is unreasonable. no rational people think that. because if you behave by that logic, can we not say the same for taylor? many problematic people work in the music industry and hollywood - if she chooses to keep her job, should she be tarred and feathered for willingly taking part in a problematic industry?

also, if taylor is so problematic because she associates with problematic people, then why continue to stan her? if association is all it takes, doesn't that mean our association as fans of hers makes us problematic too? if you run a blog about her, you must not really care at all about these things, which makes you a bad person. yeah, even if you discuss these things. because overlooking these things enough to stan her and enjoy her music means being complicit in the crime or moral issue itself. and if any of your friends like football or taylor, your association with them is even worse! and if you hear a taylor song playing at a grocery store, or see an nfl game playing at a bar, isn't it your responsibility to tell the management to turn it off? because if you don't, aren't you complicit in supporting problematic industries?

or... can we just admit that the nfl sucks, but travis can still be a decent person (as can taylor), and you don't have to like him or want to bone him, and you do not have to justify any of your opinions by saying they are irredeemably problematic people.

[jbaileyfansite]

The Wall Street Journal Interview (2024)

The 36-year-old English actor Jonathan Bailey is one of Hollywood’s newest heartthrobs. From Shonda Rhimes's Regency-era courtship dramas of “Bridgerton” to the decades-long romantic-political saga of “Fellow Travelers” to the Met Gala red carpet, he has earned admirers with his goofy charm and deep looks of longing.“

Being acknowledged as a heartthrob is incredibly flattering,” Bailey said. “It’s a big compliment, not just to you as an actor but everything around you.”

It has been a life-changing few years for Bailey, a stage actor turned screen darling. After “Bridgerton” launched him to global fame, he wrote up a document with tips to help prepare his younger castmates for the attention their on-screen romances would earn. “I think it’s about how to approach the work in a way that allows you to feel yourself and grounded,” he said.

Bailey, who’s been acting since he was a child in the Royal Shakespeare Company, reprises the role of Anthony in the third season of “Bridgerton” this month. Later this year, he’ll appear as Fiyero in the film adaptation of “Wicked” with Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo. He lives outside of London. Here, he talks about his favorite tea, doing gymnastics and the advice he got from Sir Ian McKellen.

What time do you get up on Mondays, and what’s the first thing you do after waking up?

I try to get up between 7 and 8. Then I try to not look at my phone, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. If it’s a good day, I drink loads of water, have a bath and then just get out because I need to get outside. I’ll go for a walk, always with my headphones. If I feel a bit excited or my brain’s sort of alive, I’ll listen to a podcast because that keeps me quite calm. If not, I’ll listen to some drums and bass. 

How do you like your coffee? 

I love tea. Earl Grey tea for me. I love coffee as well.

What do you do for exercise?

I’m currently training for a half marathon. Then I do gymnastics at a local gym with loads of lovely, brilliant people. I’m part of that community, which I’m very proud of. I do handstands.

How long can you hold a handstand for?

I’ve gotten up to a minute. 

Do you meditate or journal or otherwise practice mindfulness?

Walking outside is meditation to me. There was a Buddhist center I loved when I was living in London, and I’d go there regularly to learn the practice of meditation. I believe in taking bits and bobs that work for you. I do write stuff down in a book that I carry with me, lessen the load in the brain when I can. 

Do you have any hobbies or habits that might surprise your fans? 

Probably playing loud music and dancing around naked. 

“Fellow Travelers” follows your character, Tim, as he falls for Matt Bomer’s Hawk over the course of several decades, from 1950s McCarthyism to the AIDS crisis in the 1980s. How did you get into character? 

With Tim, I felt like there was so much understanding that was in my bones already just from being me. Understanding the character who you’re playing opposite is also really good. Me and Matt, we didn’t really talk about it but we had that understanding of the experience of what these queer, gay people were experiencing.

Beyond that, I think about my forefathers and what an incredible opportunity it was to an academic, hands-on research of gay life in America. As a Brit, there was so much to learn, so the preparation was kind of nerdy in that respect. In another, it was incredibly emotional and spiritual. 

You’ve become very famous for the looks of longing that you’ve perfected. Do you practice them in the mirror?

No, unfortunately, I probably practiced them in real life all the way through my childhood. It’s funny, isn’t it? I can totally understand why people say that, but I think maybe what fascinates me most about humans is there’s always a distance between what you want and what you have and who you are and who you want to be. I mean, if I’m still longing and 92 years old, then I’m going to be very happy. 

How did you prepare to model swimwear for Orlebar Brown? Was there any part of you that was nervous? 

I had been doing gymnastics, so the swimsuit-model aspect of it required a couple of weeks of doing more handstandy stuff. But no, I was excited. 

There were some cute photos of you and Ariana Grande released from the set of “Wicked.” Do you have any favorite memories from filming? 

I went to CinemaCon and it was the launch of all of us together. I watched the trailer for the first time, I’m so glad I waited to see it in the big cinema. I just watched Cynthia [Erivo] and I was, like, God, Cynthia’s just going to blow everyone’s mind. You care so much about her in it. And Ari redefines Glinda in a really fun way, it just expands. 

There’s so much love for the original material. It was really fun and silly and great. Jon M. Chu [the director] just mines the emotion and is quite sincere about the truth of what’s going on with the characters.

What’s your most prized possession?

My headphones. If I lose them, I feel crazy. But also in 2017—I saved up and it felt incredibly frivolous—I started collecting the Yves Saint Laurent love prints, the original prints of the years that my sisters were born because there are four of us. Annoying actually, one of my sisters was born in 1982, and I don’t think there is a print for that year, so I might have to do a stickman or something. 

What’s one piece of advice you’ve gotten that’s guided you? 

Always do theater. That was actually from Ian McKellen. It’s in my bones anyway.

Source

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Did anyone do the character ask game for Price?

Ha, Anon, I didn't. I had a few sporadic individual ones. I think people went: ahh, he's a Price guy, someone else will ask the Price guy about Price. But no. No.

Favourite thing about him

His disregard for bullshit rules. His frustration with the bureaucracy in the way of achieving just goals. I think he has a strong sense of justice (dictated by his own moral compass), and perceived injustice cannot stand. If you slight him, or the people he cares for, he's coming for you, and nothing on this earth or the next will save you from him. We share the frustration and the strong sense of justice in common. Mine gets me in trouble a lot, because I will absolutely tell people when I think they're being cunts or what they're asking me to do isn't right. I've landed on my feet most times, but not always. So, I guess I can relate.

What else? He's an overachiever and I love exploring where that drive comes from. I think I project a lot in coming up with the cause; disappointing your parents by being queer, so you work yourself down to the bone to prove yourself worthy of a love that will only destroy you in the end, because it's conditional on your soul bending in a way it's not meant to.

I love his fiery temper. Love it when he snarls and snaps. He's not the emotionless commander, blank slate protagonist who is perfect so we can project ourselves onto him thoughtlessly. Kind of linked to the rest of him: asymmetrical face, thinning hair at the crown, receding hairline, scruffy facial hair, strong build but not Hollywood ripped. He's an every man; flaws, freckles, n' everything in between.

Least favourite thing about him

He's intelligent and manipulative. He finds the broken boys, he tells them they can make a difference and all they've got to do is what he says, he puts the gun in their hands, points and gives the kill order. I think Price cares for them in his own way, but I also think he knows when someone is vulnerable to his particular brand of maverick justice. Price knows he inspires loyalty and devotion to an almost unhealthy degree, and he uses that to his advantage.

I say "least", again, but I think it makes him interesting. I think Soap throwing himself between him and a bullet would have profoundly affected him. Soap throwing his life away for Price - not the mission, for Price - was never part of the plan.

Favourite line(s):

"Haha, you think of ev'ryfin'."

"Ahh, sing it a lullaby, we gotta go!"

"Let's get evil."

"We fight not so that the world will remember us, but so that there will be a world to remember."

"This is for Soap."

Basically every time he opens his mouth, to be honest.

BrOTP

Price & Laswell; gay-lesbian solidarity. Price & Farah is also sweet.

OTP

Nik/Price, now and forever. Ghost/Price a very close second.

NOTP

Price/abuse. So, Makarov, Shepherd. Anyone who's gonna hurt him. Can't do it.

Random headcanon

I mean... I'm constantly writing them. But the one that comes up now and then is his accent. I think he trained himself out of it at Sandhurst because he wanted to be taken seriously. There's still a lot of snobbery in the British military at that level. Scouser Price is still very fun to write.

Unpopular opinion

That man has absolutely internalised a truckload of toxic masculinity that he needs to work through to heal.

Song I associate with them

Favour picture of him

Every artist that draws Price ever. But also...

QUOKKA PRICE!

[riveatstoes]

The Charles Xavier Dr. Pepper Timeline (CXDPT)

i can feel in my bones that this is something hardcore X-Men fans are going to lose their minds over (because it’s already happened once in real life), so a quick DISCLAIMER: this is a joke! this is not a serious post, but is actually the culmination of an inside joke between me and my friend! laugh! it’s supposed to be funny.

so, almost two weeks ago now, me and my friend were chatting with a logan chatbot, and—as two people who ship scogan—decided to ask him about scott. and it replied by accidentally using she/her pronouns for him, thus giving us the first inkling of this horrible, horrible au: transmasc scott summers.

from there it wasn’t a long road to where we’re at now, which is…interesting, to say the least. we add onto this universe whenever we’re being stupid and the X-Men come up. for example, we were at work and hating it, so we thought “what if charles decided to make the X-Men work in fast food for a day, and they all abandon kurt inside to do every station himself”

goes without saying that now whenever we’re mad at our job, we express it out loud in mildly okay kurt wagner impressions.

but anyway, the main part of this post is next: the specifics of this AU, written out in a bullet point list of everything that’s canon in it. let me reiterate that this is for shits and giggles, so i don’t want to hear anything about “but _____ isn’t canon!!!” WE KNOW.

Everything Canon In The CXDPT

Charles was not born with his abilities, but instead gained them right after WWII. His parents offered him a crisp can of Dr. Pepper, and the sheer deliciousness gave him the powers we know him for

In order to maintain his abilities he has to drink an absurd amount of Dr. Pepper daily

TRANSGENDER SCOTT!!!

Scogan is real and they’re insufferable

Laura is a Disney Channel / Hannah Montana girlie and makes Logan watch with her (he’s secretly also a fan)

Jean is transphobic. This is a repercussion of her having almost no personality in the original movie trilogy. She was also hit by the lesbianism beam

Laura got Hollywood Undead banned in the mansion

Kurt has a mysterious BF who just stands next to him most of the time and enjoys throwing rocks at Magneto (Kurt doesn’t take part in this but does encourage it)

Charles uses his telepathy to harass Scott into bringing him Dr. Pepper (the others don’t care as much so manipulation doesn’t work)

“Hey Scott, it’s me, Charles Xavier. Remember how my legs don’t work? Do you see this wheelchair? Wanna bring me a Dr. Pepper about it, Scott?”

Laura got banned from MovieStarPlanet for harassing and cussing out her “ex-boyfriend”

Mystique and Rogue defend anything questionable that Laura does by going “Oh come ON guys she’s JUST a GIRL!!!”

Storm is the only normal one here. Everyone else ages her so very badly just by being their pure, unaltered selves

Scott is actually Y/N

Cherik is canon but only in a “it’s my weekend with the kids, I don’t care if it’s your birthday, I only get to see them once every other week ASSHOLE” kind of way

we acknowledge that this is quite the departure for certain characters, but the thing is that they’re fictional characters so what harm is this actually doing? this AU was purely made to fit our senses of humor which aren’t always the best, to say the least, but it’s funny to us.

hope you enjoyed this post but you probably didn’t, if i’m honest.

[raemoriendi]

I’m smack in the middle of a spontaneous rewatch, so do you wanna hear my batshit zombie land saga theory?

(yeah you do, here we go)

so, this guy —

is obviously not who he says he is. mysterious idol producer who spent enough time in hollywood learning makeup sfx skills that makes zombies regularly look like normal living teenage girls, who then despite his apparent egregious talent with a makeup brush, returns to his very small and little known hometown in japan? who happens to also figure out how to bring back girls that have been killed by the Saga curse?

yeah, we as the audience are set up to know there’s more to him that meets the eye. especially with the flashback to him as Sakura’s pre-death classmate, Inui, which I am mentally chewing on like a dog with a bone.

(like romero here.)

but!! while I don’t have a lot of proof, and I'm working from the anime alone (not the manga that came out after or Zombie Land Saga Gaiden), due to my own weird special interest in funerary practices, I have a theory about what he might actually be:

Kotaro either is or was at some point, a mortician, or a yukanshi/nōkanshi.

(putting this under a cut, because it gets long, and also for some s1 and s2 spoilers.)

this initially occurred to me in season one, episode two, when we first saw Kotaro putting makeup on Sakura before a show in the back of the van, specifically applying a flesh-colored putty with something that looked like an offhand spatula to the big scar in the middle of her forehead. You can see it at the timestamp 14:11.

this reminded me of something called Embalmer’s Putty, which is used in the embalming process (or a general process of touching up the decedent minus chemical preservation) to fill in wounds for a viewing, visiting hours, or any gathering where the deceased’s loved ones might want to see their body for a last time.

here are screengrabs from two different funerary equipment companies showing what embalmer’s putty looks like and what it can do:

embalming putty can be already flesh-toned so as to look like living skin, and thus blend in with the mortician’s final product: making the deceased look more lively and at rest, restoring their dignity and giving peace of mind to the bereaved who want to see them off.

this process is actually really well summarized here, in this article from Regal Casket company:

if Kotaro was trained as a mortician or funerary cosmetologist, he would be trained to do exactly what he does every time he helps the girls get ready: making them look alive, healthy, and most importantly, lacking any visible mortal wounds that could upset their living audience. The girls themselves remark on how he makes them not only look like their old selves, but at times even better than before. this is exactly the type of skill set he would need to cultivate if he was preparing bodies for a last moment together with the deceased's loved ones, so they don't remember the celebrant as they were when they died, but how they looked in life.

keep in mind also that if Kotaro really had learned his makeup skills in Hollywood, he would have learned how to apply wound makeup/sfx to in-tact, healthy, living skin to make it look dead or wounded, not the other way around. makeup artists, even special effects makeup artists, are not taught how to work with dead or decaying human skin.

on top of this, a regular special effects artist would not be trained to fill grave injuries or mortal wounds, because their canvases are all living, presumably healthy people with no major injuries, who are able to go on movie sets and act for hours and hours at a time.

Kotaro wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) even be using the same kind of makeup that would go on living people, because dead bodies, obviously, are often room temperature at most when they’re being prepared for viewing, if not colder due to being held temporarily in cooling storage to prevent decay. funerary cosmetics are specifically formulated to account for this lack of temperature in a dead person, because makeup spreads differently over cold skin as compared to the warm skin of someone alive. trying to put on regular makeup, even special effects makeup, would look more than off - something Franchouchou is definitely keen to avoid if they want to keep their cover. (Or wanted to, before the storm aftermath of s2.)

some other points of interest that (to me) can be read to support this theory:

Kotaro drives a black van. while not a hearse (or “funeral coach” as the industry sometimes calls them) it’s still the right color to blend in to a funeral procession if needed, and large enough to store necessary equipment for services, viewings, etc.

Kotaro is always in a suit except when he's bathing or sleeping - specifically, a dark-colored suit. Even when the man was in a full depressive episode by the beginning of s2, he still kept his suit pants and dress shirt. It serves the purpose of being seen as a (semi-)competent idol producer who’s always ready to make a deal for his band, sure! but if his day job when he don’t see him (going away “on business” like during the episode Sakura had amnesia) it also suits him working in the somber, subdued environment of a funeral home. (minus the shades, red vest, and dried squid in his pocket. those are likely just part of his persona for Franchouchou's sake.)

Kotaro had to become familiar with resurrection magic somehow. Who’s to say he couldn’t come into contact with it during his work at a funeral home or as a mortician, something that would keep him adjacent to death and its sacred rites and practices? possibly from a young age, considering many funeral workers can start an apprenticeship or internship in their late teens? Wouldn’t that make more sense contextually than him just stumbling across it in a library, or randomly in a magical encounter in a world where zombies exist?

Kotaro coughing up blood at the end of s2 might be the Curse, but it might also be the stress of managing Franchouchou on top of the stress of his day job. these positions can be highly taxing emotionally and physically, as one needs to be a steadying presence for people on some of the worst days of their lives, and while embalming isn't as much of a thing in Japan (to my knowledge), exposure to certain chemicals from the restoration process over time has proven to be hazardous to one's health.

“okay, rae, maybe,” you’re saying. “but some of these are still kind of a stretch.”

this is where I get a little more speculative, but bear with me:

from the brief glimpse we have of him as Inui, and based on the translation of “Inui” and “Tatsumi” being opposite directions (northwest and southeast, respectively), we know that Kotaro wasn’t always this brash, loud idiot producer we know today. there was apparently a point in high school where he was very shy, and was maybe friends with Sakura, or at least acquaintences.

what if Inui was so shy and soft-spoken because he had grown up in the world of funerary traditions? many funeral homes are often generational, handed down from parent to child as a family business. someone accustomed (or maybe just exposed) to death that early might have some reasons to be kind of quiet and withdrawn.

this might also account for how he knew about the other dead girls of Franchouchou before Sakura. if one of his parents or even his grandparents were handling Saga’s deceased, he would have had an opportunity to hear about the accidents that killed them before the news spread as widely, encounter them in the restoration stage as dead bodies (depending on when they happened and if he was alive yet), and even seen their makeup applied by his predecessors if he was allowed in the prep room, or at least hear their recollections of it after the fact.

we know that he’s descended from Kiichi, Yugiri's love interest from when she was alive, who was a young man dedicated to seeing Saga's return after it merged with another region and lost its name. we also know he's being mentored by the immortal bartender Jofuku, who's said to be Saga's living embodiment, and supposedly is or is based on a wizard from mythology who discovered the Elixir of Immortality. while Jofuku is a likely source for the magic of necromancy, and maybe even selected the girls he wanted resurrected, it would make sense that people involved with Saga's dead were in contact to some degree with the man who is Saga itself, especially since the ZSL fandom wiki has noted that Saga's Curse in current times has manifested as a low birth rate and aging population. if there are more dead and dying in Saga than there are living, a family funeral home would be kept quite busy, on top of all the random accidents that the Curse causes to cut down people who would bring Saga recognition or prosperity.

so let's try this on for size: Inui grows up in a family of yukanshi/nōkanshi, who prepare the decedents for customary otsuya -- a wake held the night before the funeral itself, meant to give the living bereaved a last night to spend with their late loved one. his family likely also participates to some degree in the funeral ceremony itself (osohiki) and the cremation (kasou) before the ashes are interred. (I got my info on Japanese funerals here, as imperfect as it may be.) Inui learns about the historical funerals of Saga's famous dead that he wasn't around for through his family's experiences or through their ties to Jofuku. He begins training to take over the family business maybe as a teenager, this peculiar adolescence maybe leaving him a little more reserved than his classmates.

it might also give him the chance to practice his proficiency with music composition and his instruments -- song selection is a not-small part of modern funerary practices. maybe his family encouraged him to learn to write songs and play so he could perform at funerals? his stage fright evidenced in other episodes would shut that down pretty quickly, of course, but maybe this interest in music is how he becomes friends with Sakura to begin with, as evidenced by the clip of the CD exchange.

but then Sakura is killed in a terrible accident and his world turns upside down. it's bad enough that he's grieving, but then her body might come to his family's funeral home to be prepared for her ceremony and interment. he sees this lively, determined girl he admired dead and cold on the prep room table, her beautiful face ruined, and it's just not fair. how can his heart not break?

maybe he goes to Jofuku and demands to know what the old man knows about bringing people back, and the Curse. maybe he's less direct, but seeks the knowledge of necromancy for himself, with his family so close to death for so many generations. he continues his training for ten years, learning all he can about how to make the dearly departed look like themselves again. look better than themselves, even.

when the Zombie Land Saga Project is in the planning stages, living in a funeral family might give him access to or secondhand knowledge of where all the girls' ashes are interred. eventually, his line of work gives him the opportunity to collect however much he needs from each for the magic to work.

he knows it can, because even though Jofuku himself has never died, Romero has, and has been successfully brought back at some point. he's a little weird and not the prettiest, but he's still very much a dog.

ten years later, when the spell takes hold and his undead Saga champions resurrect, he knows how to make each and every one of them look like their old selves again.

he does Sakura's makeup first, just to see his old friend again as he remembered her.

we know how the rest goes from there, but this is my overarching theory that explains Why Kotaro Tatsumi outside his relationship to Sakura, but also how he could come up with Zombie Land Saga outside of just being a citizen of Saga himself.

anyway!! apologies if this was scattered, I wrote it in dribs and drabs throughout the day, but it's been gnawing at me for a minute. if there's anything canon I don't know about that completely obliterates this theory, then just call it an AU, and if this has already been agreed on in other parts of fandom, just call me fashionably late.

if you've read this long, you're a sweetheart <3

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM SINGIN' IN THE RAIN *  assorted dialogue from the 1952 film, adjust as necessary

hey! do something! call me a cab!

i said some awful things that night, didn't i?

tell them to go home.

everybody go until further notice!

wait a minute! i am just about to be brilliant.

keep your eyes riveted on me.

we've talked the whole night through.

are you sure it's all right? being seen with me?

don't you touch me!

are you doing anything tonight?

what do you think of it?

remind me to give you a raise.

from where i stand, the sun is shining all over the place.

did somebody get paid for writing that dialogue?

the show must go on! come rain, come shine, come snow, come sleet, the show must go on!

you've never looked lovelier.

i buy four or five a month.

i'd rather kiss a tarantula.

i just had to tell you how good you were.

what a glorious feeling.

i'm an actress.

no no, don't go.

nobody's got that much money.

here's one thing i learned from the movies!

you're a beautiful woman.

you got that poor kid fired!

i'd like to see you act. what are you in right now?

you're nothing but a shadow.

don't tell me, it's a flat tire.

you've got to show a movie at a party. it's hollywood law.

that's ridiculous. everybody knows you're in love with me.

we're missing every other word! you've got to talk into the mic!

at last i can start suffering.

tell me the truth. am i a good actor?

what's the first thing an actor learns?

hey, what'd you say that for?

i'd like to break every bone in your body.

thanks a lot!

what do you have to be so conceited about?

what's wrong with the way i talk?

she can't act, she can't sing, she can't dance. a triple threat.

you couldn't kiss me like that and not mean it just a teensy weensy bit.

you're not through!

you've seen one, you've seen them all.

i never heard of anything so low. why did you do it?

i can't make love to a bush!

laugh all you want, but at least the stage is a dignified profession.

it'll be a sensation!

i happen to be in love with her!

why bother to shoot this film?

meet the greatest actor in the world.

look at me. i've got no fame, i've got no glory, i've got no big mansions, i've got no money.

you'll have to wear a beard for that one, of course.

you don't mean that.

i can't get her out of my mind.

that means i'm out of a job.

i'm no actor. never was.

at least you'e taking it lying down.

you saw one once?

try to get this straight: there is nothing between us. there has never been anything between us. just air.

what's the big idea? am i dumb or something?

you're going to new york and then some day we'll all hear of you, won't we?

everybody used to wear them.

believe me, i don't like her half as much as i hate you.

i'm glad you turned up!

you keep away from me!

sticks and stones may break my bones...

oh, you don't mean that.

people just don't do things like that.

you... you were kissing him!

i'm not in a play right now, but i will be.

i've had one motto which i've always lived by: dignity. always dignity.

what do they think i am? dumb or something?

let me hear you read your line.

i don't go to the movies much.

movies are entertaining enough for the masses, but the personalities on the screen don't impress me.

[cantquitu]

Hi!

Im also watching Say Nothing and its really good! I also started to read the book. As an Irish person can you give me your perspective about it?

Sorry I completely missed this yesterday. I was binging the last few episodes, I couldn't tear myself away.

I thought Say Nothing was really good. It is such a complex and difficult subject with no clear right or wrong, only dark and shade. I liked that the series didn't try to give easy answers or take a moralistic stance. I think it portrayed the awful, messy complexity of the war as well as a piece of television could. I am sure it will provoke a breadth of differing opinions, and some will be angry, but I think it was a truly excellent attempt to portray this painful chapter in history with some nuance.

And not only that, but to make this story into such bingeworthy, pacy, riveting television without falling for Hollywood cliches and pat cliffhangers? I don't think I quite believed that was possible in a series about the war in Northern Ireland.

The acting was fantastic, such brilliant casting matches for the young & old versions of the characters! Lola Petticrew, Hazel Doupe and Anthony Boyle were particularly great, and I'm so glad that they chose West Belfast actors for two of those roles. I thought they were incredible.

But giving my perspective "as an Irish person" is kind of complicated. As an Irish person from the Republic I've had a completely different experience of events in the North compared to anyone who grew up there. A completely different personal relationship with our history. One of the strengths of Say Nothing for me was how it portrayed this contrast in the later episodes set in the '90s. My brain is still melted from being confronted with so many shades of the conflict all at once. Every time I felt conflicted about a scene, a later scene would address that conflict - not offering solutions or answers, but acknowledging that there were multiple other perspectives. Powerful stuff!

Growing up in the south, most of us had the option to tune out what was happening, to go about our days without our lives being directly impacted by the war. When I was very little, it was on the news every single night and I knew that after the grown-ups had had a few drinks, you didn't want the subject raised. But despite trying to figure out the words to U2's 'Sunday Bloody Sunday', my childhood understanding didn't really go beyond "We want the Brits out but they won't leave because the Protestants want them to stay and there are more of them than Catholics, and they'll probably keep killing each other forever and I really wish it could stop"

I never experienced British bigotry towards me personally as an Irish person until I was actually in England - it's something every Irish person anticipates in their bones, but it wasn't in my face growing up.

I never even went across the border until I was 16 years old. I went to see a British band play in Belfast (think of that episode of Derry Girls where they travel to Belfast to see Take That, if the Derry Girls were from Dublin and they were going to see a punk band, not a boyband). My parents wouldn't let me go because they said it was too dangerous, but I went anyway. They were right. There was a bomb scare on the train on the way there and another bomb scare at the club after the gig. My friends and I were totally out of our depth. At 4am we fucked up and called the wrong taxi service to take us to a Catholic area and had army rifles pointed in our faces at a checkpoint. We were young and didn't know what we were doing and couldn't quite grasp that this was reality. It was frightening and sobering, and I did not go back until after the ceasefire a couple of years later.

So that was the luxury of being raised in the south - I didn't have to think about it most of the time. A luxury no-one growing up in the North had. So as an Irish person I have a load of thoughts about Say Nothing, but I'm especially interested in what Northern Irish people have to say about it.

[funkymbtifiction]

the end of an era

I wanted to thank you all, not only for all the notes of gratitude, encouragement, etc., in my inbox, but for being my faithful readers over the last ten years as I blundered around, answering asks, figuring things out on the fly, mistyping myself half a dozen times, and learning by “answering.” It’s been an incredible blessing for me to be part of your lives, and now, I hope, I have left behind enough of a resource, through my thousands of answered questions, my MBTI book, and my ongoing FunkyMBTI Blog, that you can be guided to your type and start the journey of self-development.

I want to say a few more things, but first, I’ll answer the burning questions that I know are going through your mind directly.

Does this mean no more character typings? No, it does not. I will continue updating FunkyMbti.com for the indefinite future, and those posts will automatically be ported over to this tumblr page, along with posts from Sixy Pixie (which I may expand to include general Enneagram posts/information/insights).

All it means is I am retiring from answering typing questions. I will still be active in various online communities, doing research, gathering information, and sharing it on my blogs. My interest in MBTI has waned since writing my book (which I consider the “achievement” of over a decade of work/research/learning), so the best way I know of is to move forward.

Does this mean I can’t request characters anymore? No, it does not. You can always contact me through FunkyMBTI.com’s contact page to make character requests. I have an ongoing list of characters people would like to see, and I hope to get around to most of them. (Such as, people want to see The OC, The Scream movies, and more Hollywood icons, such as Natalie Wood). I also have Sanditon, more Shadow and Bone typings, etc., coming.

How can I know about your Enneagram book and/or other books? Thank you for asking! You can either stay tuned here, since any announcement posts on my blog will update here, or you can join my mailing list to receive all my updates (of reviews, upcoming books, free book giveaways, and more).

Are you going to delete Funky on tumblr? No, it will stay up as long as tumblr survives, not only as a monument to my zillion hours of work, but to the thousands of people who braved the internet to ask me questions and allowed me to showcase my “Big Sister Energy.” Ha, ha. Seriously, though, I appreciate all the questions, comments, compliments, and submissions over the years, including the gigantic assortment of characters from shows/movies I may never watch.

What now? I will stock the queue for a few months and take time off, and then hopefully dig more into the Enneagram, since I think that has real potential to change people’s lives for the better.

Final Thoughts:

It seems fitting that I close “the end of an era” (as my ENFJ friend put it, when she heard about this) as I approach the end of a “decade” in my life, and a big “0” birthday. I can’t exactly recall how my journey started. I think I took one of those MBTI quizzes, shared by a friend on some social media website, got mistyped as an INTJ, and fell down a rabbit hole that took over my life for over a decade. I went through every possible type known to man (other than SP), and can now finally claim with authority to be an ENFP.

I made all the mistakes you are going to make, if you are just starting out on this journey of self-awareness – I listened to the wrong people, I took in the wrong information, I mistyped myself and others, I had to unlearn everything that made no sense, but along the way, I learned how to introspect and be present with myself. To pay attention to what I am doing, and why I am doing it, and that is the most valuable take-away from this experience. You can either go through life oblivious to your true self, or you can go through life friends with yourself, and aware of both your strengths and your weaknesses. I recommend the latter. It's hard but worth it.

Doing that for so long, getting used to being “wrong,” prepared me to read my first book on the Enneagram. And it changed my life. I knew I was a 6, that there was nothing “wrong” with me, that other people struggled with the same things I did. And my introspection started growing deeper. There were many ego battles along the way, denial of the aspects of 6 profiles that I didn’t want to admit to, followed by resignation and self-awareness (that I do that too, and it’s revolting!). But it’s a journey that I intend to walk on, for the rest of my life, and I’m glad to know these things. I wish I had known them sooner. I would have been a much better friend.

All of my current friends came to me through Funky. My friends in Sweden and Tennessee and Idaho and India and Philadelphia and Florida and Spain and Greece. I would not know them, had they not reached out to me, asked me a question, asked if we could e-mail, or helped me figure something out. Funky has been my “social” life for a decade. Some of them are still with me, even though one of them is not – Maddie, my beloved ENTP co mod, my zany, nutty, wild-hearted 793 “DJ” who could simultaneously make me laugh until I cried and drive me insane with frustration, passed away of a heart attack during the pandemic in 2021. One minute she was in my life, and the next she was gone forever. I never told you at the time, but it seems a fitting end to my time here, to pay homage to a friend I hope to meet one day “in person” in whatever comes after this. So Maddie, thank you for everything you put into this blog with me, thank you for the hours of fun and laughter, for the many hundreds of posts that will stand as a testament to your memory. I miss you. And I hope wherever you are, you are doing something crazy.

Thank you, dear reader, for coming with me on this journey. I know we shall meet again.

XOXO, Charity / ENFP Mod / Big Sister Energy

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/738129963878875136/some-people-really-are-doing-their-darndest-to

Even if we pretend as if 'more stories by and about poc should be adapted rather than just relying on racebending white characters from majority white casts' was the point you were originally making (and, to be clear, it isn't; if that's what you wanted to say at the start, you really need to get better at communicating ideas), that doesn't change the fact that this relies on Hollywood being remarkably less racist than it is right now.

Because, you see, while some strides have been made, overwhelmingly the stories that are chosen for adaptations--especially big budget movies and television--are ones from white creators and/or with all- or majority-white casts. Bridgerton. Shadow and Bone. Percy Jackson. The MCU and DCEU and other Marvel and DC properties. Good Omens. Sandman. Rings of Power and other LoTR adaptations. Wheel of Time. Etc etc etc.

It would be great if Hollywood just miraculously got less racist overnight and started choosing poc created/driven stories to adapt for the big and small screens in anywhere close to equal numbers. But that's just not the reality of the world we live in. And the reality is that if you insist on only ever allowing characters of color on screen if the source material being adapted depicted them as such, then mass media is going to be even more overwhelmingly white than it is.

It's actually great to look at stories where skin color does not actually matter (like in The Witcher or Percy Jackson) and think 'hm, why do these characters have to be white when we can provide opportunities to actors of color to play these roles?', while also thinking 'it'd be great to get more spotlight on stories that are by and/or heavily feature poc so that we move away from "white as the default"'.

These two ideas can coexist--and, in fact, they must in order for any real progress to be made. So people are probably going to continue to assume that you're racist if you bitch about the inclusion of poc in The Witcher, a story where absolutely zero part of it requires that the entire cast be white. Especially if you start in with that 'it's based in polish folklore!!!!' bullshit line despite not caring one whit about all the non-polish white people that are also in the cast.

--

Yup.

Actually, I have seen Witcher complaints that just focused on the Polish aspect, and I think they make an interesting point. This adaptation could have kept that more visible. But that's irrelevant to having some nonwhite characters or not.

[marielaure]

(Large Text)

Adrik: Why I Love him and I Guess Netflix Thoughts?

(Regular Text)

Context: I read the Grisha Trilogy when I was 14/15 and had a bit of a book crush on Adrik. Why? He was also that age, wanted to be older and act older, and was one of the only disabled characters I’d read before.

So yeah, when Netflix made shadow and bone, I thought to myself: Will they put Adrik in the show? He’s a major side character and they added a lot of new characters, so a part of me just thought he’d be written out.

Then season two…

And not only did we get Adrik, they made him hot AND the actor was really good. That was honestly the dream. (Huge shoutout to Alistair Nwachukwu)

Adrik and his disability:

In the books and show, Adrik loses his arm due to the Darkling’s shadow monsters. Now, part of why I love Adrik is because he has to adapt to a new way of doing a skill he’s been proficient at seemingly his whole life. We get to see some ups and downs of him trying to use his powers, but we also get to see his determination to keep trying to get better. They’re in the middle of a war, and he’s adamant about not being left behind. It’s an interesting point of his character, I like it.

Now, in the show, we see a less confident Adrik. But, we still see him try and adapt, just differently.

This is where the undefined and somewhat loose magic system is a little hard to talk about. This magic system has been built up as always needed two hands/arms to control. But, book!Adrik figures out how to do so with only one arm. In the books, this is seen as some never-before-done feat. Now, shadow and bone takes the “two-handed rule” very seriously. We see show!Adrik and his sister have to fist bump and control powerful gusts of wind together. This makes for interesting fight scenes, but seemed a bit odd to me as it is established in the first season with an inferni that you can summon with one hand/arm out of commission. (Kaz chapel scene for reference)

But, just like in real life, many disabled people need some help or stability from others to get a task done, when I look at it that way it’s cool. (Though, I did not like how they gave Nadia an arm injury as well, it felt weird to me-—as if the producers thought they couldn’t do that technique with Nadia having her body intact—I don’t know I’d love yalls thoughts on that scene)

Adrik and the show prosthetic:

I hated the Luke Skywalker prosthetic. I knew it was just a glove, it was weird and also seemed to serve no point.

What could have been done if CGI-ing off the actor’s arm was too expensive:

1. Hidden the left arm? And pinned the sleeve to whatever was needed.

2. If that’s a safety hazard, changed the injury to something slightly different. Such as a head/spinal/nerve injury as a result of the shadow attack. (He would still only be squalling with one arm, it may just look stiff as he wouldn’t be able to move/feel it AND this wouldn’t be erasing his disability)

3. Made Adrik disabled from the start? Nothing in his storyline would have been different. You can’t tell me there’s never been a disabled Grisha before.

Conclusion:

I love both portrayals of Adrik, the only parts I hate are the “Netflix-ication” or “Hollywood” erasure of his disability. I think a huge problem with book adaptions are that sometimes sticking to the book limits people’s creativity. People making films have SO MUCH to consider and portray, that they can’t always do. So in the case of Adrik, they wanted amputee!Adrik, and found a great, nondisabled (maybe?) actor to play him. Fine, but they ran out of time and money to keep CGI-ing his arm off. (Literally having disabled actors is so much better but that’s a different discussion) Anyway, so the not-creative team makes the actor a weird glove and say, “Go pretend to be disabled.” It’s a tale as old as time. Is it good disability rep? Not really. Do I still love Adrik? Yes. Did the actor do awesome and do I still respect him? Of course, he’s doing his job and did it well.

I felt the need to make this post as favorite character week pops up. As a bit of an explanation to my love/sorta dislike of Adrik.

Here’s some fanart I found that is a perfect portrayal of what I think of when I think of Adrik:

Image Description: digital painting of Adrik (portrayed by Alistair Nwachukwu, a black man in his mid-twenties) wearing his blue and silver kefta (coat) with right hand extended forward and his short, left sleeve covering his residual limb is perfectly visible.

I love this piece by @doodlesnoff as this is how show!Adrik SHOULD have looked on-screen but didn’t.

Again, this is no hate to the actor. I actually can’t imagine anyone better to play Adrik. His voice, the way he interacted with Alina and Nadia and Genya…he is Adrik. I really hope his acting career is going great.

[alaffy]

Only Murders in the Building, Ep. 4x01 – Once Upon a Time in the West (Spoilers)

This will be a quick post. Sort of.  ’As this is the 4th season, their first episode is pretty standard at this point.  We’re introduced to the new main guest characters, and we start the mystery.  And if you’ve seen the preview for this season, you know that Paramount is interested in doing a movie based on “Only Murders…” and the three main guest stars are playing themselves and have been hired to play Charles, Oliver, and Mabel in the movie.  And the majority of this episode is setting up this premise; as the three are flown out to Hollywood to meet with the studio.     

And, before I get to the mystery, just a couple of things of note that are important, or probably will be important, to the rest of the season.  Oliver’s play has closed as the funding has been pulled.  Loretta goes to Hollywood to start filming the show she’s been promised.  She does ask Oliver if he would consider moving to Hollywood as well, but obviously that’s not going to happen.  So, they’re not writing her out of the series, exactly, but I don't expect to see her in most of the episodes.

The second important thing is that Mabel, at first, holds out on signing a contract.  She’s given some advice, and she makes a deal with the studio, but we don’t know what the deal is yet.  I’m sure that will come in later.

So, let’s get to the important part.  The episode starts a few hours after season 3’s end.  The trio are finishing up recording their podcast when the lights go out.  They mention that that hasn’t happened since the building was forbidden to use the old incinerator.  Charles, Oliver, and Mabel go up to Charle’s apartment and Mabel sees a bit of blood splatter on the stove.  But what we don't see is Sazz is body. Or any evidence there was a body, bar that one tiny blood splatter.  As far as they know, Sazz just left the party.  At first, Charles isn’t too concerned.  However, when Sazz hasn’t texted him back by the next day; he starts to worry. 

This is where we find out that they are being invited to Hollywood and Howard comes to Charles’ apartment with his new dog.  Gravy.  Well, that sort of her name….Anyway, the dog goes crazy inside the apartment and Charles mentions he can hear a strange sort of whistling.  At that moment, Sazz texts Charles back saying that she had to leave as she’s needed as a stunt double to Scott Bakula. 

Forward a bit, the trio arrive in Hollywood and go to Sazz’s apartment; there’s a stack of packages and no answer.  Forward to the end, Charle’s sees Bakula at the party and mentions Sazz.  Bakula says that he’s worried as Sazz was supposed to be his double, but never showed up.  The trio go back to Sazz’s apartment and break in.  We find out that Sazz has a number of items on her desk that seem to be about Charles (maybe?) and Charles mentions that Sazz has had a number of bone replacements because of her career.  Most of the replacements are made of metal from Bolivia or Bulgaria (can’t remember which). 

At this point, Charles gets a call from Lester.  Lester tells him that he can’t replace the window in Charles' apartment until the next day.  Charles is confused as to why a window needs to be replaced.  Lester says that he had a note from Charles saying the window was broken.  Charles asks if the hole looks like a bullet might have come through and Lester says it’s possible.  Meanwhile, Mabel gets a text from Howard (he wants to start a animal podcast with her).  Mabel says he spelled Gravy’s name wrong.  Turns out it’s Grave-y, the dog was a cadaver dog.  The three of them realize that the need to get back to New York.  Charles tells Lester not to touch the window.

So, they go back.  They see the hole in the window and the blood on the stove.  Charles texts Sazz's number, letting whoever know that he’s on to them.  Howard brings Grave-y, who leads them to (long story short) the incinerator. Charles sees a lot of ash inside.  He reaches in and pulls out metal bones.  Just then, the persons text back, letting Charles’ know that they’re not his friend.      

So, it does seem like maybe this person is after Charles. But this show is known for it's red herrings. And it could be this person does hate Charles, but Sazz was still their target. As for the things on the desk, we just get a glimpse. I'm sure they'll be shown in more detail next episode or two.

[ohtobeleah]

After that reblog talking about how their farm is a check point I really wanna know how all of the daggers react when they reach it and what they say to Jake and Hollywood

They all show up, one by one, over time. I picture Coyote being the last to come through but even if he was in his late 80’s when he died he’s still showing up no a day older than the last time you saw him at the Hard Deck.

But it’s probably Rooster that kicks up the most stink about it let’s be honest. As soon as he sees Jake Seresin out training one of the horses he’s seeing red. He’s got a bone to pick.

He forgets how he died, the cancer was just too aggressive, and starts running. He runs so fast the pain from the collision doesn’t catch up to him for a few seconds. Jake doesn’t even see Rooster coming, until he’s on the ground in the dirt and grass underneath his wingman.

“YOU FUCKING COWARD!” There’s a few punches thrown and Jake takes them all before he’s pushing Rooster off him. “YOU IDIOT! I COULD HAVE HELPED YOU!? Why’d you have to overdose man, why’d you leave us?”

“Rooster?” It’s the calmness in your voice that’s making Bradley turn around to see you standing there, four year old by your side. She’s the spitting image of Jake. “Not you too honey.” And then Bradley realises—he can talk. He hadn’t been able to talk in months. Throat cancer will do that to you.

“Fuck—am I dead.” Bradley’s just pinching the bridge of his nose,m while he kneels in the dirt with his long lost wingman.

“As dead as dead can be kid.” And that’s when Rooster sees the man he always wanted to be. The man who left him far too early in life. The man who made his mothers heart beat and the man who Maverick never tried to be. “Who let you grow that hideous moustache?”

“Dad?”

[allycat75]

Hey Boston Dumb Fuck 👋! I've been seeing scenes from your lazy-as-fuck exercise in futility, Ghosted, lately and it has triggered a few things.

(A bit of a long one, so buckle up)

I don't know, maybe because the scenes I have seen of Jack in Red One remind me of Cole's cranky twin, or hearing your Nepo director go on about how impressed he is with himself reinventing Santa and how he's going to blow our minds with his genius, but it seems of late rich, mostly white men are just really turned on by their own mediocrity. Just walking around with blue balls because of it and the lack of oxygen to their brains is making them hypoxic. Even sweet Ryan Reynolds got high off his own supply when promoting the recent Deadpool. It was OK, but he and Hugh were making it out like this was the Citizen Cane of R rated Marvel movies (I still think they were throwing you a pity bone by casting you, BDF, and all I see when I look at your part is not Johnny Storm, but the worst version of Christopher Robert Evans, just slightly more horrible than you have been in real life the past few years, if you can call what you are doing living really. Was it a cry for help?).

I can't blame you for Red One. You are just a shitty actor looking for that sweet, sweet paycheck while The Rock and his minions run the show, so let your team set your program to "total bullshit bro douche" in a few weeks so you can get through the press junket without weeping at the fact you murdered Christmas, along with your fanbase that would have blindly seen this festering turd of a movie if you hadn't gaslit them all, making them look and feel stupid and crazy.

But I do blame you, from pillar to post, for Ghosted. You may think that Producer credit was for vanity and a bump in pay, but when push comes to shove, it actually means something. Just ask another Hollywood phony (and someone who was actually invited to the SNL X-mas party last year) Alec Baldwin. On Rust, he may not have been held responsible as the actor who shot the cinematographer dead, but as the producer he sure had the responsibility and accountability for all the things that went wrong, leading up to that preventable tragedy. And I know for you coddled princes, this idea of accountability is a new and scary concept, but woman up and get used to it, you fucking coward.

So, as producer of Ghosted, you should understand that you buy the premise, you buy the bit. How does the movie start- we see a beautiful woman named Sadie (in an ugly ass wig, by the way) at a farmer's market after just discussing with her boss that she is lost after a friend's death. The friend, a workaholic like her, didn't even have food in her house, but had a plant, which is more than Sadie has. Looking pensive and sad, but with a full basket of food she finds he way to the plants only to be confronted by a dickhead who treats her like shit at the worst possible time and tells her she should get a cactus because they are prickly and don't need much attention or care.

So I will stop there, because after this there is something only a male writer, producer and director would think they just saw- those two want to FUCK! Where most women (and to their credit, probably some men) would say, "Boy, if he would just apologize for being a complete and total asshole and make a kind gesture, because anyone with eyes could see she looked really sad, he could make her day better." And that is where it falls apart. Not that it would have really been any better because Cole is selfish in thinking he is everything she needs and doesn't consider maybe she has shit going on in her life that doesn't involve him, but it could have started on a better path if instead of running after her and saying, "Hey, I think we made a connection" (to which most women would have gotten out the pepper spray), he said "Hey, I want to apologize. I was out of line. It is none of my business what type of plant you should get and I should have been more respectful. Can I buy you a coffee to make up for it?". But heaven forbid a man ever apologize and make amends, especially for something they know they did wrong (none of that bullshit you said in the SMA article that came off like just apologize because she is upset and it will shut her up).

Even better would have been to get a few females looking at this script (maybe Scarlet did and that is why she jumped) and even totally flip the script to make it from Sadie's point of view. It would have been much more interesting watching a female special agent who had to target a friend and one of the few female colleagues she had, exploring the aftermath and getting back to her first mission since it happened. And to add insult to injury, also having to deal with this egomaniac one night stand, who hopelessly followed her, convincing him it isn't all about him and that he has no idea what it is like to be her. He has no right to judge. It could even still be funny (or start to be funny, because with the exception of Sebastian Stan, this movie had no Rom and no Com), but there is so much depth that could have been explored that was sacrificed for the male gaze. Instead of being empowering, because Cole was supposed to be the "damsel in distress", Sadie still remained the object that helped moved the story along for the boring, one-dimensional male protagonist.

One could say, "who the fuck cares- this movie (and its leading actor, after a string of current and future failures, both professionally and personally) are completely inconsequential", and I would agree, save for the fact that this is just one example of a larger problem we have seen over and over of men failing upward (I also include almost anything by Coppola and Scorsese- just look at Megalopolis for the former, and the latter only wrote his first decent female character last year). Unless there are consequenses for these kinds of epic failures Hollywood will continue to churn out more and more empty calories, drowning out real voices of all shapes, sizes, genders and colors. We need to call out these flaws instead of excusing them away so we can fix them for a more satisfying, authentic experience for everyone.

Side note...

Also, the last thing I remember about Ghosted was how you got shafted at the premiere and we're forced to give your little stevia (fake sugar) baby a spin on the red carpet, but no one was happy with you in the end- Ana and Dexter looked like they wanted to kill you, and your precious Nazi Succubus sure got her revenge for being shuffled back stage and out the door after only a few pictures without you. Remember, they forced you to fake marry the arrogant, racist, antimemtic, fatshaming, lazy, childish dumb dumb (everything opposite of what you said you wanted, even as recent as that stupid SMA article, but you are now an established pathological liar, so who knows what is true about you anymore).

You even had two kinda fake ceremonies- so, remind me again who you are trying to make seem insane in this narrative? Because it looks less and less like your former fans and more like you and your team with those pathological lies and ridiculous stunts. Even got your nuts so tight in a vice, they humiliatingly got you to make up for that red carpet debacle and sealed your fate as Hollywood's latest pathetic joke, spending 20 minutes on the Oscar (Conde Naste) Vanity Fair red carpet, where no one wanted to talk to you and you couldn't easily wipe your mouth when you had to kiss the little tantrum throwing wifey on the mouth for the cameras, like a good little CAA automoton. And I still don't know if I can forgive you for being so fucking careless and dissociated from your own life and moral fiber that you wore the colors of the Nazi Flag while parading the precious antisemite for your debut. Actions matter and for a smart man you do some really stupid things!

I know it seems I took a bit of a turn at the end there- just a reminder you really suck right now as a human being so you may want to think about how you can change all that, just like how Ghosted could have been better if you had your head out of your ass.

Have a great day, you prick 🫶!