#you can not like her but dont call her racial slurs

[rebellum]

The whole transandrophobia discussion thing is weird bc it feels like it's a bunch of poc and jewish trans people being like "here are my experiences of how specifically being MASCULINE had affected me, and the discrimination and violence I experienced based on that. And here is how that relates to me being a racial/ethnic minority"

And then a few loud white trans people going "ohhh you wanna be oppressed so bad you *slur*. This is why there aren't any poc in your movement it's because REAL poc understand intersectionality"

[sinfuego]

Tbh, nothing has made me sympathize more with Kipperlilly Copperkettle than her anger issues.

Cause anger is an emotion we feel when we're missing something. When we need something and can't get it. It's a balm to make us feel better when things don't go our way.

When things aren't fair.

[ringringimdeadhere]

Okey I'm gonna give my side of the discourse, mainly because I've been thinking about it a lot

This all started because of a cultural shock, and also because of misinformation and just straight up harrasment

I am latino, so I will be biased. Here in latinoamerica the N word does not hold the same weight as it does everywhere else, and most of us where introduced to the word via music and general US rap culture. I at least thought it was closer to the Weon equivalent when I was little, from before I even learned to speak english. Now I know that it might be closer to the "Sudaca" slur (which even then, is a regional slur, not a racial one)

And besides, Roier and Cellbit where minors when all this happened (literally Roier is only 2 years older than me). And as someone who lived around that era on latino internet, shit was wild. It was not a safe space for developing minds that do not understand the weight of racism (especially if you are lightskinned, my god, idk how my mulato friends tolerated me, I was a demon and I got away with everything while they got scorted by security for doing the same thing)

But once again, our racial biases and cultures are different from the US. So once this two mixed, it was obvious it wasn't gonna be all smooth sailing. Especially because our humor tends to be a lot more.. self degrading, like we make fun of our culture all the time. So no matter your skin color, you are used to make and being made fun of for it. I had a friend we called el gringo because he looked so white, la chochos (the curly haired one) because of her afro hair; calling someone "negra/negro" is a friendly nickname for your black friends (only in spanish please dont try this anywhere else-); and my nickname was morocha (yes even though I am still very lightskinned). It's not great, but it is normalized.

And blackface is horrible, that's just fucked up. But ignoring the fact that this happened when Cellbit was a 15 y/o is just denying someone the opportunity to grow up and better themselfs. And also, I find it very weird that all this critique is mainly against the latinoamerican streamers when many white creators have done horrible things in their youth also, yet I have not seen the same amount of criticism. Like have you seen the Smosh videos from the same era? A hella lot of sexism, transphobia and ableism is in there. But they are also allowed to grow and change, and they have better themselfs as people. One of the best things you can do when growing up in a bigoted space is to learn from your mistakes and prejudice.

WITH ALL OF THIS SAID OH MY GOD STOP HARRASING BLACK PEOPLE FOR THEIR GENUINE CONCERN ABOUT GIVING BIGOTED CREATORS A PLATAFORM. THEY ALSO DONT HAVE ALL OF THIS BACKGROUND WITH THE LATINO COMMUNITY AND GOT JUMPSCARED WITH A 15 Y/O BLACKFACE CELLBIT AND BITS OF ROIER SAYING THE N WORD NONCHALANTLY, OF COURSE THEY ARE GONNA BE CONCERNED

I have been in the same position, having seeing all of this 2015-2017 racist ass humor about latinos on many of the content creators I just got around watching. They are allowed to be uncomfortable and even worried about the kind of people they admire. So PLEASE, be patient, and be aware that when you try to justify racist actions of a creator via "oh gringo black people are so sensitive about latino dark humor" that speaks more about you than about the creator.

I genuinely believe that Roier and Cellbit are not bad people and that they grew out of those bigoted mentalities (lord knows I had to grew out of some disgusting eras of myself). But I will not blame NOR ATTACK black people for fearing the type of content creators that are given the opportunity to be this influential.

[ya-what--ya-erster]

Hey can we stop being assholes please

TW: implied slurs, suicidal thoughts, SA (sort of?)

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you aren't cool when you use racial slurs or homophobic slurs or any other slurs and you aren't cool when you make fun of people who have mental health problems or disabilities (physical or mental)

"Did you see the (Yes, the n-word im sorry) over there?" Go back to the, like, 1800s please. Racism is not cool. Don't say that word.

"Nobody likes you, you (f-slur, sorry again)." Do you realize how much it hurts when us queer folk hear that? And we hear it a lot. So please don't. We don't need the whole world to hate us. It isn't hard to just be kind.

"Oh, your name is Austin? More like autistic" Okay NOT AN OKAY INSULT. Literally stfu. Autism is not something you should be repulsed by. It's not something you should use as an insult. Autistic people are people just like you.

"People who have anxiety/depression are such weirdos." Yeah thanks, I heard you, now I want to die even more thanks so much. I will gladly off myself so you dont have to deal with such a "weirdo."You've confirmed that nobody wants me here and that people think badly of me. I really appreciate it.

"We should dress up as special Ed kids for halloween cuz then we can pretend to be stupid freaks!" Do you even realize you're talking about another human being. Actually, do you? I'm not sure you do. Be nicer.

All of the above is things I've heard, occasionally they're directed at me. I haven't heard anything much on the next example so bear with me.

Don't do the thing where you call the girl a whore and slut shame her and then pat the guy on the back cuz he got laid. Just, no. Don't make the girl feel like she's done something wrong, then tell the guy good job. STAWP.

Next thing, recent experience, sorry if you're the ppl who have already heard me be pissed about it.

Respect privacy. Respect boundaries. When the person in front of you in line for lunch keeps moving away from you, you're too close, back up. Don't touch their ass. Don't stand so close that you can feel them shaking with fear. And don't try to pull the same thing twice. (btw, i told him off yesterday and it felt very nice).

BASICALLY MORAL OF THE STORY STOP BEING ASSHATS AND THE WORLD MIGHT BE A BETTER PLACE

[sweetescapeartist]

I had watched Velma (for free cause I aint helping them get views) and theres this trend I hate. That's when they make the white people idiots & always insult them. I'm black and I find that offensive. There's a way to make fun of everybody in a smart way (In Living Color is a great example) but these modern shows are just hateful or not funny or both. They just want to trigger ppl without any kind of positive message.

And I can't be mad at only the ppl who write the shows. The companies who allow it and advertisement and ones who distribute it are at fault too. And when you look at the history of propaganda, I'm pretty sure this is intentional. The United States makes money off of ravial division. This is why we dont have shows like Weekenders, Statick Shock, Doug, Hey Arnold, Xaolin Showdown, Totally Spies, Darkwing Duck, Recess, El Tigre, 6teen, original Teen Titans, Justice League, Kim Possible, The Proud Family (original not the new one), Jackie Chan Adventures, or other shows like that anymore. Those shows brought too many different ppl together. Racial division is profitable but also useful in controlling the minds of the ignorant. And behind it all is politics. One side complains about this while the other complains about that. Then both sides make a profit while controlling the masses through artificial hate.

I wish we could go back to shows that had positive portrayals of all races & both sexes. A group of friends of different races with both guys and girls just happily hanging out and dealing with everyday struggles and how to overcome them with help from your friends. Cause this modern stuff just makes everyone hate each other.

I want shows like Statick Shock where Virgil finds out that his best friend Richie has a racist dad & it upsets Richie so much that he runs away from home. And the dads of both have to work together to find Richie as Richie's dad learns he is misjudging others. And episodes later, Richie's dad is friendly with Virgil and his dad.

Or how in Teen Titans, Starfire was being called a troq by a "heroic" racist. Then Cyborg thinks its just a nickname and calls Starfire that and she gets upset. Then after Cyborg finds out, he says he can relate because he's half cyborg (subtext is that he can relate because he's black). Then all of her friends stand by her and give the cold shoulder to that guy who called her that slur. They weren't gonna put up with that.

Or even in oG SpongeBob when they say Sandy can't do stuff they can because she's a squirrel while they say "sea creatures rule!" That episodes teaches a lesson about both racism and sexism. Sandy is the only girl against a group of guys who thing they are better. Sandy is from a different group of people against a group of water people who thing they are better. Sandy thinks she's better too. Then in the end, they give the lesson that nobody is good at everything and they should value the differneces and what the other person is good at as they apologize to each other.

We peaked in the 90's and 2000's. Sadly, I think its all downhill from there now. Not just with TV shows, but with music and everything else. The good things we get nowadays are just leftovers from a better time that didn't over politicize race, sex, gender, religion, and policital leaning as they do now. Respect is lacking. All ppl want to do is trigger someone. What kind of society is that?

[t4yce]

Hie sophie! Fellow organzza stan here sorry but can you take down that tag? Things got so ugly here in brazil and the girls suffered too much with stan war, organzza was called racial slurs and hellena was attacked for her hiv+ status(and of course miranda and betina being white werent attacked) so please dont start this again, there is no one evil in the cast, its not fair to call the queens like that

Hi! Yes sorry, I've taken down the tag. That meme came into my head whilst I was uploading the gifs and I added it without thinking, but I should have. I genuinely don't think any of the cast are evil and I'm sorry that I contributed more negativity to this situation by not thinking about the weight that my words hold.

I think you've sent me requests in the past and you've always been nice, so I'm really truly sorry to have upset you. I think before writing tags on other people's posts but never on my own and I'll make sure to do that going forward.

[blueiight]

now as for why his other crimes against claudia and black and disabled women go unnoticed, i'm going to hazard a guess that you stepped into the ◻️ side of the fandom and especially the side where louis is purely an object for lestat's gratification and not a whole person. where any analysis of louis is only in relation to loustat (which is common for lewis because that's what anne wrote him as).

it's an interesting manifestation of white supremacy where black characters are only seen in relation to white characters.

*claudia's relationship with louis doesn't matter but you'll see endless conversations about whether lestat loved claudia

*all the black women prostitutes and louis as their pimp never get airtime (which btw might give insight as to how louis sees women generally and later on himself) but antoinette the most transparent character gets days of analysis

*louis' relationship with his family isn't discussed (and yet who he is and how he behaves in his own family is informed by this) but when it's time to put up lestat defence you will hear everything about his father, mother, brood of siblings and his cousins if they can be unearthed

u make a rly interesting point on how louis viewed women being part of why his days as hbic of storyville flow in the beats that they do… we’re introduced to the aftermath of bricktop fighting off the alderman who tried to rape her but the framing is more like ah just another busy day for mr du lac cleaning up after some bs again just before the vampire shit. drunk rapist racist man calls louis a racial slur? ahh hes not just that slur u see, ur speaking to louis de pointe du lac& he owns 8 of these 14 properties or however many r down the block. we literally only see the musicmen in the azalea, we no longer need to see him ‘cleaning up’ after nobody. aww aint that nice lou [LOL]. playing stan wars over evil vampire yaoi is stupid but ig its cuz i dont subscribe to the church of white supremacy ppl seem to think im an ‘apologist’ for certain fictional characters or try to group me into certain fan camps. #jobless . theres certainly merit in analyzing lestat x louis relationship n how louis fits into that + how lestat’s own past informs his present [u need ingredients to bake a cake, even if the cake is 150 years old] but u make points in how ppl can be a bit more lenient to lestat bc hes white, even moreso if theyre coming from vc fanon bc post interview lestat is the/a central character n vc fans love framing les as the hero lolz. but i do wonder if louis was kept white would fans still stretch and hyperanalyze cuz they cant see a bm exploiting bw or having a readily available farm of humans in dubai as ‘evil enough’ n would be more readily able to recognize where louis’s moral complexities n capacity for evil in canon lie as is? w/o tryna badger down black fans or fans who dont wanna play into harebrained theories when louis’s actual crimes r right there as ~~ dumb louis fans tryna cry apologetics ~~~ or w/e idk. i think show wise claudia and louis’s relationship is fascinating bc theyre both creole [i have a post n sandwiched in a bs response to an ask i mention how i think the mind link they had/have serves a metaphor to this as well] and vampire siblings/parent and child/etc etc.. emotional codependence predicated on the denial of claudia ever being allowed to be woman, bc louis wanted a child, wanted something to fill the emptiness of losing his family/wealth all in one, but she is selectively mature when it serves louis for her to be. shes coming up on 33, can the children kill the father, can claudia take this out my hands

[seeraplimau]

Mood: I am very very very sleep and tired.

Writing this just a way of escapism, you could say. I have like a lot of list in my brain to do but when you're sleepy, it just dooze. Masalahya I AM TIRE ALL THE TIME. So all of the list dah berhabuk since September :')

BRB chugging my vitamin B as we're speaking lol.

Life sucks, you live then you die. Though the intermission in between determine what kind of death you'd enjoy. Were you nice to your friends? Have the encounter between you and a stranger bringing good impact to the world? Talking about stranger, I am still suck at saying morning to people. I don't know, I guess where I am, greeting strangers is not very ideal. We all looks normal inside but god forbid what we did the last 2 hours. I stumbled to an old tweet where a guy was practicing black magic in his apartment. He look like any other guy you walk passed by honestly. So, maybe I was just being paranoid and project this view to everyone I see on daily basis. Maybe. Today as I was walking to my work, I smiled a bit, like not even a proper smile to the guy sat next to my workplace and he said something to me(?) like I tak dengar actually. Probably, "kerja sini ke?" something like that. And it kinda, make me uncomfortable??? hahahaha cannot explain. That question only acceptable from the makcik who you always see every morning tbh. Like I'd answer them genuinely. I wish man would learn more manner and idk shame. Make Matriarchy a thing!!

I saw on news about a former badminton player who post an Islamophobic statement. I think it sad, sad that we still leave in a prejudice nation. Few weeks ago, a hockey player got suspended for a racial comments too. Sad. I do feel like it a deserve action. Racism shouldn't be excused. But, an equal teach of why slur shouldn't be used should also be implemented. Maybe we have, in sivik's class, but we should make it more exclusively to Malaysian. Why this slur is bad and so on. I don't think anyone ever told me professionally why I shouldn't call anyone k*ling. YES NO ONE EVER TOLD ME THAT. I just learn that it would hurt people, common sense-ly. Empathy. Would I be glad being called that? Does people have ill attention by calling me that? What is the root problem that I 'have' to say the word? I ask myself that. The 'war' between nation of SEA, specifically between Malaysia and Indonesia is a never ending. People shouting "ind*n balik rumah" is like a common thing you hear. It sad. Saying this why lavishly eating your nasi geprek. Hipokrit. We should, have more empathy. Towards ourselves and people surround us. After all, we all, is all we have.

Changed. I do think it's unfair for us to judge someone act, especially if it something they did 5 years ago. 5 years ago was not long, but so many thing could shift. So many. You can still see the line for social distance purpose on eateries. Fascinating. Yah on people, we change, and god forbid us to get dox over something we did in the past. I said racist thing in the past, but for the love of god I was 14. Why are you picking a fight with a kid. Thus, I always find myself to excuse someone action that they did in the past. Sometimes, well most of the time I dont care lorh, so cam whats the point. BUT some action I cannot just forgive is bullying. I hate kids who bully each other sooo much. Tak kesah-lah they have a fuck up childhood ke, to the point they're acting "alpha'. I hate them and I would never forgive anyone who did that. I don't think forgivable is something we all should aim for. We connect, say sorry, and if the person not going to forgive you, we should just move one. We don't deserve someone forgiveness honestly. Nobody do. I remember one of case at my high school, a girl pretend to be a boy to ask some inappropriate picture from her girl classmates. That is fuck up. Even from a 16 years old brain, I know it's not a right thing to do. What a sickos. Fuck her.

[ramseyy]

Can we just agree that the abuse toward Kiara in TRR is racist? I've seen so much hate directed towards her and for what? Having a crush on a guy.

Olivia, the white woman, in book 1 kisses Liam and gets hardly any abuse but one of the only women of color in that book likes a man and gets abused for it. There's a clear divide in how both of these characters are treated.

It's racist. Plain and simple

[ignorancelive]

not sure if the original post is ok to rb but someone i follow posted about different peoples ability to reclaim different slurs, specifically in the f and d slurs, basically saying the people aiming that slur at others aren’t gonna really care or consider what you identify as when they’re attacking you and honestly? agrie

[nylonsandlipstick]

Saying crackers makes you sound immature and Johnny depp wasn’t the abuser

Literally couldn’t give two shits about your input but go off I guess

[phoenix-louie]

Why is Olivia Wilde Problematic

1-She stereotyped lesbian relationships as "soft and gentle kissing and scissoring".

 2-She said she felt lonely so she considered a relationship with a woman, that, is not only implying that being with a woman was her last option and she considered it ONLY because she felt lonely, cause of lack of a man in her life, it also was misogynistic cause its implying a woman needs a man to be happy and not feel lonely.

 3-She considered being with a woman till she finds her man, implying that WLW/NbLW relationships are only a pastime till a woman find her man and be happy.

( Article )

4-Olivia about “Are you a lesbian or are you too old” said “This is a question I never asked myself, Am I too old to be a lesbian?” which in the eyes of the lesbians I asked, this implied that being a lesbian is a thing for young people, they found it invalidating. (I’m not a lesbian so I can’t talk on it that’s why I am just stating what THEY –the lesbians I asked- said about this.)

(unfortunately I lost the link to the video for no.4, I’ll update this as soon as I find it) 

5-She called a racial joke which was calling Asians "little yellow guys with little dongs" hilarious and defended the person who said these and said "lighten up haters".

( Olivia’s tweet )

6-She starred in an ableist video made for World Dawn Syndrome day.

( The tweet )

An article explaining it : https://t.co/zaixzMnqcE?amp=1

7-This one is so wrong on so many levels:

( from THIS article )

-You always have to be kind and nice it’s not about the years. -Wouldn’t cheat nearly as much??? cheating is not justified it’s just about how of an indecent human being the cheater is. -Getting to spending forever with someone is not a threat it’s a treasure. -Issues of children is NOT fun. -Boarding schools at seven? Are children just toys to u so u put aside when u don’t want them anymore?!!! A child deserve love and deserve to be with their family. -So sex workers are so low in your eyes they only cost as much as a pedicure? -Are you saying people cheat cause their partner is away or not in the mood and not cause they’re assholes? Or are you saying it’s okay to not be able to control yourself when you want to have sex so you hire a sex worker when your own partner is not in the mood/around? Or is it about not trusting your partner or wanting to control them? -Muted and crossed eyed? this is a whole new level, Olivia!

8-Comparing coming out to job switch (if you’re not queer u have no right to agree or disagree to this.) We are TERRIFIED to come out. Someone got killed by the hands of his own brother just 3 days ago BECAUSE he came out! This is not a joke or a fun thing to do it’s a matter of making it out alive or not more often than not. She invalidated our struggles.

( from THIS podcast )

9- She treated covid and vaccine like a joke and called a “friends” reunion her vaccine 

10-She said she did the ice bucket challenge with “breast milk” that took her all night to make! And she “couldn’t find any water”. It’s obvious that it was not BREAST milk but it was MILK, she not only wasted all the milk to make a very poor joke, the same thing many ppl across the world can only DREAM of having but also said it was an enormous amont of BREAST milk which many mothers dont even have at all for health reasons, not eating good enough foods for being able to produce milk, etc. it was a very poor insensitive joke. You can see her ice bucket challenge from this video.

11-Black fishing: 

12- she wore a shirt supporting an abuser (trigger warning for graphic description of violence and abuse in the pictures) 

(from THIS article)

13- just full on using transphobic slurs so casually for explaining her MAKE UP

(from THIS article)

[starlightervarda]

Hey ,i am so sorry you had to go through so much pain and harrassment because of lgbtmazight. You are not alone, there are many others like you in this fandom and outside this fandom who were harassed by this person. Its just so sad this person and her 'i am not racist' friends have made so much antisemitic, racist, xenophobic and "many other" offensive comments and were able to get away with it because of the massive following they had. And when I say massive following, i am pretty sure there is no brown or black people in it. Cause what kind of POC (who have gone through actual shit) follow a white person who preaches about race and talks like they know better than you. This entire racefaking issue is so messed up because people who got harrassed by her never got and will never get half the support and care she gets now.

The entire people in the discord in which she is a mod of is prevented from reblogging or getting involved with post about her whole racefaking issue. Wow!! What kind of discord does that? Are all these people in this discord sock puppets? Does someone have to tell them whats good and whats bad? I pity these people who are silent and supporting her.

Its funny her bff supporters are still posting "cute tropes and fics about joe" , and are silent about the fact she used racial slur on marwan kenzari. Its disgusting. They dont get to celebrate joe, when they can't call out the racist who used racial slur on him!!

Again I am so sorry about all the trauma you had to go through. All i can do is say that you have my support, love and hugsss!!

Thank you, nonny

It is severely disgusting the amount of support she got, that no one from any of the groups she's lied about belonging to, ever or will ever get.

This is why I'm certain that her friends knew that she was lying. You don't spend months in groupchats with someone who talks as much as she did, and goes into (lousily researched, stereotypical, offensive, hilariously illogical) detail about her ~life's story~ without picking up on the huge inconsistencies, or not having personal conversations.

This again, goes back to my point that she claimed to be Muslim/Mediterranean/MENA while the actual people who are those identities got hostile treatment from everyone that was up her ass and smugly used her words as permission to attack others on the basis that disagreeing with her was 'racist'.

It was suspicious at first, but now it's an admission of guilt. None of them claimed to be shocked / horrified / disgusted / hurt by her being exposed. They either closed their inboxes or vanished to avoid being held accountable, or are brazenly continuing on as they were, defending her, threatening people and going on anon to harass me and everyone that suffered thanks to them.

This was a plot cooked up by some of the worst people to sow discord and dominate a fandom, while chasing out all the people who posed a 'threat' to her status as the Token and the Only Source on shit she never cared to even Google.

Oh, and apparently her besties are defending her on Twitter, claiming that this dissertation of all her lies, taken from her own accounts, is false so they can downplay her being a tankie genocide denier. That and apparently she also racefaked being an Asian American to have power in a C-Pop/K-Pop fandom???

They don't care about Joe, or anyone that resembles him. In fact, they really seem to despise him, and Nicky and anyone from their part of the world. They've made that very clear. She saw Marwan Kenzari in that gifset styled like so many MENA dads - including my own - and her first thought was 'I'm gonna call him a racial slur to be cute'. If she said that on her blog, imagine what else she's said in her servers with her defense squad?

All he is the excuse they use to attack others, and show-off how Woke and Totally Not Racist they are. Because trying to hold them accountable got you accused of everything they were doing, and have harassment campaigns sicced on you and character assassinations like she shit she posted on Twitter about myself and nizarnizarblr -- by the way, her besties spread a rumour that he was a racefaker because he disagreed with her. Accusing others of being what you are must be their favourite pastime :))))

Seriously, that was the purpose of Helene's brownface: a carte blanche to be as racist, xenophobic, antisemitic, and openly share monstrous beliefs like blood libel, genocide denial, praise for dictatorships and systems that have caused the suffering and deaths of millions. Because she, and they know, that if she did this as the Rich White French Woman she truly is, she would have been run off the site.

Anyone in that Discord you mention is a coward and an enabler at best and a supporter of everything she and her friends have said and done at worst.

What kind of a bullshit excuse is this? I've cut off years of friendship for 1/4 of what Helene's done, and they're kissing the feet of this sociopathic stranger to remain in a shitty server? GO JOIN ANOTHER ONE, YOU SPINELESS DEMONS!

Seriously, what the fuck do they mean a mod 'banned' them from reblogging a post -- that proves she has spent over 10 yrs being and doing everything you claim to be against? What is wrong with you that you find this acceptable and would rather remain in a server run by her than leave and support her victims? Shove your head further up her unwashed French ass, why don't you?

Everyone who knew her knew she was a fraud, and I refuse to believe anything else.

The reason the Racefaking Tankie Defense Squad is not dropping and denouncing her is that they hope that, if not enough people reblog that post, people will forget and she can continue as she was. This must be why she's neither deleted her blog or changed that URL, declaring herself 'lgbtmazight', when she is no such thing. They hope to reestablish their chokehold on The Old Guard, if not another fandom, riding on the fear, respect and specialness of all her faked identities and bullshit stories of suffering.

They care more about the status and power she afforded them than any of the people whose skins she's worn and the others they've hurt.

This post, along with all the others @lgbtracefaker have posted, need to be boosted. People are still reblogging her racist shit as 'informative posts from a trusted source', have her listed as a 'sensitivity reader' and have had their view of MENA history and culture shaped by this overprivileged racist French woman.

Thank you again for the support and the tip-off about that server. I wish I had a list of the people in there so I could block them.

[gk999time]

Bro I just had a super weird creepy dream about toriel and when I woke up my frikin lights were on

I just kinda sat there like what then the cat found out I was awake and started trying to headbutt my door open

So I just woke up from a nightmare, the room isn’t how I left it, and somethings trying to get into my room-mind you I’m still half asleep for all of this-

Just for reference this is kinda what toriel looked like in the dream.

so first she looked normal and we were in a place i didnt recognise. it looked like i was standjng in front of her like for a fight but the background was like the background of the normal ruins- colored and everything. In the bottom theres a text reading ”it seems the (something, i dont know the meaning of what it called her was but it kinda sounded like a racial slur) is hiding secrets”

So idk how cause there wasnt much of an option but i leave the room. except now im in a different place in the ruins with a faceless toriel in front of me. She doesnt say anything i just turn back around and i see whats in the picture but shes like, really far away from the screen. theres some kind of button on the bottom its a black button with a red x in it and next to it is a word (i cant remember what it said but it was like ”talk” or something). After a long while of staring she says ”ill get inside some way” except theres no picture of her face where her text is and theres no font noise. its just her font.

Then i wake up and my lights are on. I dont sleepwalk but my little sister knows im paranoid and she peobably turned them on to scare me, as im a really heavy sleeper and she can do that. So i go to turn off the lights and suddenly something starts banging on my door. Mind you my light switch is right next to my door so im standing next to a violently shaking door. I open it expecting it to me my sister but....

it was toriel.

Jk jk it was my cat she found out i was awake and was trying to get my attention so i would feed her.

Thid whole thing happened like an hour before me posting this ;-;

[adorethedistance]

Chapter 3: JJ Maybank is MIA - JJ Maybank x Reader

Photo cred: I didn’t have time to photoshop another Spiderman edit so I made this shitty moodboard instead.

Warnings: swearing, mention of terrorism

Words: 2494

Previously in part 2: The pogues know all about how Spiderman held your phone, but they don’t know about how he tried to wingman you on impulse. JJ is still acting weird but functioning as normal. So normal he managed to land himself in detention. Now you’ve got detention too, and if this goes on your permanent record colleges will see you were punished for ‘hate speech’ seeing as that’s what osborn wrote on the detention slip. Fuck physics. And fuck mr. osborn.

Snap peas, a protein bar, and a bag of goldfish, none of which do I remember packing this morning, lay untouched on the beige plastic surface in front of me.

“I’m so mad” I declare, sitting on the bench between JJ and John B, slapping the pink detention slip onto the table and sliding it towards Kie.

“You got detention for hate speech?” she asks looking between my exasperated expression and the offending paper. To my right, JJ is stifling a snickering laugh. Unbelievable.

“What are you laughing at? I wouldn’t have detention if it weren’t for you and your inability to prepare!” I raise my voice in frustration. I can’t help but smile. JJ’s grin morphs into a small but hearty laugh. His laugh is the best sound in the world, it’s contagious and it’s unique and it’s lovely.

“You got hate speech but on mine he wrote ‘potential terrorist threat’” the entire table bursts into full-on laughter.

“What the fuck did you guys even do?” John B asks between laughs.

“JJ wasn’t taking notes and Osborn yelled at him for it, so then he asks me for paper and everything is fine but then his pencil didn’t have lead so he asks me for lead but Osborn thought he was just talking to be talking in the middle of his precious lecture so he gets detention. Then I stick my neck out for him and try and explain that he was asking for lead but Osborn wouldn’t fucking listen and now colleges are gonna think I use racial slurs or something!” The group is still laughing at JJ’s and my new terrorist status but it quickly morphs into a group rage bonding.

“When I had him in freshman year, he called my dad saying that I openly disrespected him in class because I forgot my textbook that day,” Pope adds while he shakes his head, annoyed.

“Osborn is the fucking worst. Like, how can you be an advanced physics teacher if you don’t even believe in climate change?” Kie says spooning a bite of orange rice into her mouth.

“Well thanks for nothing guys, now he’s gonna be in a bad mood for our classes,” John B advocates for himself and Sarah, “You’d think that the later the class, the more he’d back off from being a dick but no! The first period students were pure evil and that means the sixth period ones are too!”

“Is ‘hate speech’ gonna be on my permanent record?” tiny slivers of hope are laced into every word I say. Everyone has slowly begun to pack up their things in anticipation of the passing period bell for 5th.

“I wouldn’t be too worried about it. Our graduating class has the highest incarceration rate of the whole school, there are worse things you could do,” Kie calmly waves her spoon in my direction.

“I mean… I guess so…”

__________________________

MESSAGES:

Y/n/n: I’m already outside of Osborn’s. I don’t wanna go in alone the door is closed

Y/n/n: Hello??

MESSAGES:

Y/n/n: You’ll never fucking believe who isn’t here

KieKie Palmer: Are you serious?

Y/n/n: JJ is the entire reason I even have detention today and he’s not even here!!

Y/n/n: The door is closed and I have no idea why I rlly dont wanna be alone with Osborn for two hours

KieKie Palmer: I’m sure he’s just trying to keep the temperature regulated. As for JJ I have no clue.

Y/n/n: wiufwenbcoijdc

KieKie Palmer: You’ll be okay. Do you want me to come with you lol

Y/n/n: Nah I’ll be fine

Y/n/n: Go secure that waitressing bag

KieKie Palmer: Will do chief

Everything will be alright. I inhale on 7 counts, hold for 5, and exhale for 10 to soothe my nerves. I read that helps with anxiety in a JAMA article once, I think? I can’t remember. Here goes the next two hours. Alone. With Osborn.

I use my body weight to lean back and pull the steel door open, stepping into the air conditioned science lab. I see that the only light on is the one in the back of the classroom. The front is completely dark with only the projector playing... an episode of Mad Men?

Glancing across the Promethean board I see Mrs. Kasmos, my AP English Language teacher, sitting in the front row watching the show intently. She’s sitting on the edge of her seat, consumed by the story. When she notices me in the doorway, she politely hops up and moves to pause the show.

“Oh, hey Y/n.”

“What are you doing here?” I ask bewildered at her presence.

“I’m here to step in for Mr. Osborn’s detention session today. Did you come here for tutoring?”

“No. I’m the… deten-ded student you’re watching. He didn’t mention?”

“He left me a list of the two students that I’d be watching over but I didn’t read it. Either they’d show or they wouldn’t and it seems you did,” she replies calmly, comfortably. How often do teachers ask their coworkers to babysit like this?

“Did he say where he was going?”

“He just said it was an emergency and he had to leave as soon as I could get here. He’s lucky 6th period is my prep,” Mrs. Kasmos’s voice is confident yet comforting; everything tiny detail about her adds a little edge to her generally soothing nature. Like how her hair is an ordinary chestnut brown, but the back has a tribal pattern shaved into it. Or how she doesn’t like to wear flashy jewelry but she has 7 millimeter gauges. She’s the coolest adult I know.

So cool she instantly senses my mood, “What’s up, kid?”

“Nothing much, I guess I’m in sort of a weird place… mentally.”

“You wanna talk about it?” I hesitate for a moment. Should I unload all of my feelings to her? I guess I haven’t really talked to anyone about this yet.

“It’s a lot…” I trail off, dumping my backpack onto the closest table.

“I’ve got time and I assume you do too.”

“Right. Well, do you know my friend JJ? He’s blonde and-”

“He walks you to class everyday?”

“Yeah,” a sheepish grin takes form on my face as I commend her observational skills. “So he’s been acting kind of weird-? I don’t know he’s just been a lot quieter than normal which, I’m sure you’ve seen the way he acts, he’s crazy,” I laugh, “and him being quiet worries me sometimes because…” wait, I can’t let her know about his dad. She’ll have to call CPS and god knows if I’ll ever see him again.

“He fights with his dad sometimes because his dad has a short temper- but they always make up.”

“So you’re worried the fighting might be getting out of hand?”

“No, no. I’m just worried that maybe he’s going through something that he feels I can’t help him with… if that makes sense?”

“Yeah, I get you. Has it been something you’ve seen with him and other friends or is it something between just you two?”

“Huh. I guess just us two,” I say realizing what she’s getting at.

“What’s been going on with you two?”

“The other day we were supposed to meet to film for this documentary I’m making and he just completely bailed and said he got stuck on the subway, but the next morning my friends all checked and there wasn’t a train that broke down that night which was kind of weird. Then he asked some weird questions about what I should ‘do’- oh yeah I met Spiderman the other night- and JJ asked me if Spiderman told me to ‘do’ anything,” I feel like I’m rambling but Mrs. Kasmos seems invested in what I have to say, so I continue.

“And this morning he seems super exhausted and way out of it like he hadn’t slept. And he usually has these bruises… which-he-doesn’t-even-know-where-they-come-from-he-just-bruises-like-a-peach...” I word vomit to conceal any trace of abuse.

“But he’s always got bruises and then today there was nothing. Not a single one- which is crazy because he hit his arm, like, yesterday before lunch, and then… you’re gonna think I’m crazy,” shying away from my next comment, I card a hand through my tangled hair.

“Try me,” she offers with a straight face.

“He seems… stronger? Maybe not ‘stronger’. I don’t know if that makes any sense, it probably doesn’t.”

“Well, what do you mean by stronger?” she prompts.

“Like physically, he’s always pretty gentle with me and we’ll just give playful shoves or nudges, but earlier he nudged me and I almost fell completely over but he didn’t even seem to have notice that he had pushed me that hard, which makes me think he doesn’t know that he’s stronger?” I finished with a confused expression. Mrs. Kasmos takes a brief moment to collect her thoughts before sitting up straighter in her seat.

“Well a lot of this sounds pretty typical of teenage boys.”

“It does?”

“Yeah. Do you have brothers?”

“I just live with my mom.”

“Well I grew up with two of them and let me tell you just how unfair life is,” she leans forward as if she’s about to tell me the Pentagon’s security clearance. “For girls, puberty is sad and lonely and miserable, but for them? It’s just the miracle of ejaculation and overactive hair follicles.” I laugh at her description.

“That’s so not fair!… but I guess if it seems like pretty standard puberty stuff, then I don’t really need to be worried.”

“From what I’ve seen and heard that kid is pretty self-sufficient. I wouldn’t be too worried,” she reassures me. As I continue to talk she exits the Mad Men screen to log out of her computer.

“I can’t help the worrying a lot of the time... I really care about him,” my tongue darts out to moisten my lips but I catch myself in the bad habit and reach for my lip balm in my backpack.

“Do you care about him as more than a friend? Possibly?” Do I? I can’t like JJ. That would ruin everything. It would make things awkward between us, tear the pogues apart, not to mention the awkwardness of going to mutual parties.

“I guess I’ve never really thought of it that way?”

“Do you think he cares about you as more than a friend?” Mrs. Kasmos says in a heavier tone. I figured she would ask prompting questions that would allow me to psychoanalyze myself.

“Maybe?”

“Think about any crushes or attractions he’s had in the past. Does that behavior parallel how he’s been acting with you lately?”

“It’s hard to tell. I mean he’s such a flirty person in general, I can’t always tell what’s just him and what’s the real ‘flirting’ him. I can only see when he’s hitting on someone else really,” when I finished, she crosses her arms and leans forward on the grey desk between us,

“Maybe you could just look at your interactions through that lens from now on. Just to see if that may be the case.”

“Yeah, maybe. Thank you for letting me rant, and I’m sorry I’m the reason you have to stay til 5:30,” I say sincerely. Mrs. Kasmos laughs in my face,

“Hah! No. Don’t be sorry. I’m not staying til 5:30, and neither are you. Go home, be with your mom, enjoy your evening.” Then she slides off of the rolling chair she’s in, and slips the computer into her black North Face backpack.

“I’ve gotta turn all the lights off and lock up, so don’t wait for me.” And with that I grab my backpack as she shoo’s me out the door.

__________________________

My room is extremely stuffy since the A/C unit broke a few days ago, which means I’m stuck in the opening and closing of the window hell. I press pause on the Harry Styles tik tok compilation emitting from my laptop, and I roll off of my bed to stumble towards the window; my vision temporarily leaves me. I am de-hydrated.

Shoving the rusted pin out from it’s equally deteriorated latch allows me to lift the window open ¾ of the way. I’m met with the sounds of airplanes and commuters and sirens and homeless men on crack. The ambient noise of life being lived can drive some people out of the city, but to me, it’s home. Looking out the window, I see the wilted succulent that sits abandoned on the fire escape.

Running to my closet, I put on my favorite sneakers before stepping back out of the window, and onto the metal grate. I crouch down and look closer at the plant. It looks as dehydrated as I am, and I offer my condolences.

Wait. Mrs. Aldony from next door keeps a garden on the roof. Maybe if I just leave the plant up there she’ll revive it. Brilliant idea, Y/n.

I grab the plant in my left hand and use my right to help me scale the narrow stairs of the escape. I live two floors below the rooftop, so the climb is quick and easy with a potted plant.

The roof is made of concrete and there’s no greenery in sight. Just A/C vents.

Then, I see it. In the far right corner from my fire escape entrance, a small bed of tomatoes and morning glories thrive between the crown of the roof and the entryway from the stairs. I jog over in excitement and place the little plant on the ground next to the garden bed, right where she can see it upon entry.

“Farewell little plant. May you rest in the care of poor old Mrs. Aldony,” I give the wilting shrub a two finger salute.

As I turn to leave I look up from the concrete floor that’s hosting the succulent, out onto the horizon to see the beginning to set. Golden hour is overrated, but just this once I take in it’s beauty without indignation.

On the building across from mine I see a shape, shrouded in the golden rays. The blue and red figure is standing exactly across from me on the building that faces mine. I wouldn’t have seen him before because I had my back to it. But now, as plain as day, Spiderman stands one building away, frozen, like me. He’s looking directly at me. The white ovals of his mask centered on my isolated figure. After an eternal moment of staring at one another, he jumps off of the building, shooting a web to swing past the apartment complex adjacent to the one he was standing on. His body weight carries him forward, hands thwipping rapidly despite his calm demeanor, and just like that, Spiderman is gone with the sun.

__________________________

Read the next part here.

A/n: Sorry this is so long and also so fast because we have a lot to get through for the next few parts! I’m picking up the pace in this one so I don’t bore y’all with four parts of nonsense so just pretend this one is good and then we’ll move on lol.

Taglist (strikeout means I can’t tag you): @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @swervavery​ @wh0reforharry @merismind​ @danicarosaline​ @o-b-x​ @beautyandthebleh​ @harrysbaby​ @sexualparkour​ @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar​ @sovuckie​ @obxmxybxnk​ @lovelymaybankk​ @rockyyc77​ @obxlife​ @cece-lives-here​ @obx-beach​ @ilymarkchan​ @yeehaw87​ @lopineapples​  @sspidermanss​

[readingaccountability]

snow crash - neal stephenson

my playlist (because of The Way That I Am)

final thoughts:

okay, im going to be honest right out of the gate- i cant decide whether this is a book id recommend or not. it was really fun for the most part, but personally there was a lot more exposition than id like. the early portions of the novel have exposition which feels completely fair, mostly things relating to worldbuilding. stephenson creates his own vision of future america, and some places online referred to it as cyberpunk, and some as post-cyberpunk. id be more in the latter camp, mostly due to the way he plays with tropes, leaving the reader unsure of which will be subverted and which wont.

the use of language was really fun, and i enjoyed the worldbuilding a lot. his vision of a futuristic capitalistic earth feels surreal in its immediacy and recognizability. the back jacket blurb ends with "a future america so bizarre, so outrageous, you'll recognize it immediately." which, yeah. a texan info-tech magnate? two competing corporations owning the highway system? suburban city-states? this was another enjoyable thing- everything was colorfully named, and names treated totally normally, which kind of poked fun at how we have everyday things named very ludicrously and for the most part we are totally blind to it.

one aspect i really enjoyed was that the author often doesn't make certain things clear to the audience, until he does, and then it becomes necessary to reassess the entire story and setting. this goes to underscore the theme of the importance of information and the ways we take it in and perceive the world based upon it. for example, we don't learn that y.t. is fifteen until maybe 75 pages in, at which point a lot makes sense in retrospect. the same thing occurs in the worldbuilding, as suddenly a detail is given in passing and the reader must incorporate it into the setting, which by default we assume to be similar in many ways to our idea of america. it keeps the reader on their toes as well as furthering the worldbuilding. for the most part, the tech stuff didnt feel outdated to me, despite being a future projected out from '92.

however, aspects of the book are definitely very 1992. id put these into two camps: the first, being that the book does at different times use slurs. the main character is black and asian, the n word is used a few times by racist side-character/antagonist types, as are a few other racial slurs. there was also the occasional usage of the r slur, within the narrative prose itself, rather than usage as an insult within dialogue.

the protagonist, who is named, unfortunately, hiro protagonist, is a great character and felt very fleshed out to me, though at times he reminded me more of dirk strider than normally would be ideal. (its obvious that stephenson and andrew hussie are of a similar type of writer, and play with similar tropes, lmao.) hiro is a man of many worlds. he seems to shift between them easily, though never fully existing in any of them. this is reflected in his background, both in his biracial identity and in having been raised on a myriad of army bases. this is layered further in his fluidity in interacting with both reality and the metaverse, yet remaining slightly, consistently aloof. fascinatingly the first moment i sensed this drop was when we meet juanita- aka where his real and meta realities coincide. the description of them as the adam and eve of the metaverse is both insanely romantic and thematically key (good god i wish we had more than like, two conversations between them). juanita designed the facial component to metaverse avatars, doing the majority of this work when the two were together, and hiro can see echoes of both their facial tics in the face of every avatar in the metaverse. in a way, by having done this work juanita is positioned by the narrative as one of the gods of this digital realm. she is also hiro's call to action, being aware of the coming trouble and alerting him to it, as well as connecting him to the informational database he needs to prepare.

y.t., the secondary protagonist, fucking ruled. i loved that she was just a fifteen year old punkass kid whose mom doesnt know how crazy this part time job is. y.t. being worried about her mom was a great thread throughout, and a really good balance to how obviously independent y.t. is. i do wish there had been a chance to explain more about her background (she has a dad who left who is mentioned in a throwaway sentence, and a boyfriend who is mentioned near the beginning but never again.) i really enjoyed how obviously hyperaware y.t. was at all times about her own place within the insanities of the setting, while also consistently writing her as a teen maybe in way too deep who thinks about things in typically teenage ways. but like, that wasn't ever held against her? the narrative meets her where she is. it was honestly awesome. HOWEVER,

i absolutely hated the raven and y.t. scenes. how creepy!!! he basically statutory rapes her!!! we know hes at least late 20s early 30s, because hes the same age as hiro. if this sort of content is upsetting to read for you, i definitely do NOT recommend this book. (if you want to avoid reading these bits: ch 47 y.t. meets raven, ch 50 they are in a bar eating, ch 52 things happen that result in y.t.'s anti-assault device activating- she did not activate it on purpose, but forgot it was there- and raven is knocked out.)

please PLEASE dont take any of the following analysis as like, trying to be apologetic towards this scenes. because again they were awful and hard to get through and really gross. but im also cognizant that the author was obviously trying to convey something by making the choice, like the way it was written is obviously not condoning this sort of thing.

i think maybe what stephenson was trying to get at with that, was that we see hiro internally negate any potential for anything untoward with y.t. basically immediately, since he kind of senses that she might have a small crush on him (though this doesnt last more than a fleeting moment, especially from her perspective). vs raven, whose 'poor impulse control' warning tattoo eventually elicits a sarcastic remark from hiro after he finds out raven and y.t. were "a thing". i really dont think hiro knew how far it went? like it was just suuuper weird, but i figured it was meant narratively to 1. execute the chekovs gun of y.t.'s anti-assault device, 2. contrast hiro and raven (especially considering the bike-racing argument where theyre telling the story together, which is supposed to parallel them, while contrasting the differences in how they ended up?), and 3. just to get raven unconscious, i guess. but good god it was weird and i hated every second of it, why couldnt the device have like, activated way earlier?? gah. fucking upsetting. moving past that!

honestly i was really frustrated by how little screentime juanita got, because the way she was introduced was so fucking interesting and then shes mostly off doing her own thing. the bits of explanation she gives at the end about what she was up to on the raft are so sparse and im like damn, can we get a little bit of her pov in here? please? that would have ruled. additionally, shes supposed to be hiros love interest, but we see so little of them interacting outside her intro scenes. a huge portion of why hiro is getting into the sumerian mythology is literally framed as something that will help him understand juanita, but we dont get to see him talk to her about it barely at all.

the supporting characters were quite fun, i particularly liked the librarian. big surprise, i liked the overly literal ai information-dispensor, lmfao. watching him and hiro interact reminded me SO hard of geordi laforge having honest to god conversations with the computer where he tries to coax information out of it, aka one of my favorite little aspects of tng.

and lastly, the major plot themes themselves. i adore the way stephenson approached action, it was very entertaining. usually i cant really visualize action scenes written out, but his use of language was really really effective and engaging. the plot itself was absolutely fascinating, though i found the premise pretty contrived. which isnt bad in itself, i was fully suspending my disbelief until the last hundred pages or so. which for a 550+ page book, isnt too bad.

i did like the approach of linking the ancient to the modern, that is always really neat. and i think ultimately stephenson did it in an interesting way, not how i would have done it, but definitely interesting! creating these ideas about information infrastructures, and there being words that can access those and be used to control people, was wild. not sure if i agree about the equating of religion to a virus, though he did specifically establish that it was more the approach to religion, than religion itself. (maybe if juanita had been more goddamn present in the narrative that could have been elaborated on a little more. literally her perspective would have been perfect in balancing that out!!)

ultimately what did me in was the very very very long winded MONOLOGUE where hiro re-explained the whole premise, in ways that didnt really neatly organize into a cohesive argument. a lot of the scenes where hiro talks to the librarian, which are interspersed throughout the book, are really exposition heavy, because stephenson is rooting his ideas in historical concepts that need to be explained to both hiro and the audience. and i thought all that was fine, because it was a conversation where hiro was grappling with the information, and he was figuring it out along with the reader, and most importantly it was a conversation between him and the librarian computer program.

howeverrr later on we get a full rehash of all that, where hiro makes clear some stuff that was just implied for the reader, and hes literally just telling these important men whats up in this big long monologue. utterly worthless. i kept reading it and going YEAH, we KNOW, we know this we know this. and the important men barely interjected. it added basically nothing to our understanding of the situation, other than reframing it. but everything added was already an implicit thing, and didnt really need to be said again.

the resolution to the book was stellar, the last 30-40 pages, once hiro is onto the raft, were great. ultimately after reading and giving some time to digest it, i think it was a solidly great book with a few big drawbacks near the end, but which dont carry through and sully the ending.