#you can make tables in word! tables for kindergarteners lmao

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

excel is a wonderful tool but most people dont know how to best use it and it drives me nuts having to work with other peoples spreadsheets. if you set them up right they do the work for you but so many people use it like word and not like the data organisation tool it is.

where are your dropdown menus? where are your formulas? where is your conditional formatting? etc! and thats not touching on macros because your sheet isnt even filterable! screaming

[lionhanie]

myung jaehyun ; voodoo doll

academic rivals to... crush?, childhood friends turned frenemies, jaehyun has feelings and in SEVERE denial

word count: ~1.9k

warnings: i curse like twice lmao, reader is shorter than jaehyun, jaehyun goes thru insane internal conflict because he’s coping w/ his newfound crush on u

this work is part of my boynextdoor as old 5sos songs series! ↳ if you want to listen to the song, here u go!

a/n: tbh this is one little self indulgent because i feel like jaehyun + this concept would respectfully Ruin my Life so…. voodoo doll fits the scenario well!

likes ♡ and reblogs ↺ always appreciated!

your families were close, having moved into the neighborhood around the same time. living next to a family with a son the same age as you essentially meant you would be seeing each other often; whether it was leaving the house at the same time to walk to school or being sent next door to return borrowed tupperware, it was safe to say that you were more than familiar with each other. 

it was sweet, really. the picture of you and jaehyun at your kindergarten graduation has been framed in the hallway outside your bedroom for as long as you can remember. jaehyun’s older brother used to treat you guys to ice cream after a test. hell, your families would take weekend trips together over the summer! even when you were young, your mothers always joked that it would be just perfect if the you two started dating, especially when your families trust each other already! and it would be so convenient too, being right next door and all. except, things didn’t work out as they had initially hoped. 

you were almost always competing with each other growing up -- who could get a better test score, who could get the most medals in a certain sport, who would get more votes at a class election; you name it. once, you made a bet on who would be taller than the other by the time you finished middle school; it’s a defeat that jaehyun never let you hear the end of when a routine check-up at the doctor told you that you were done growing. it was friendly competition for a while, until you both started taking the rivalry a bit too seriously. 

the tension at the dinner table was evident every time your families would join together for your monthly dinners. making sneer remarks towards each other, scoffing at the boasting of one’s achievements, ultimately resulting in a one-up battle that would always be shut down by the parents. it was just petty at this point. you really had no reason to feel so… negatively towards each other all of a sudden. 

“everytime you’re near me, suddenly my heart begins to race / every time i leave, i don’t know why my heart begins to break”

until one day, things are different for jaehyun. he catches himself looking at you from across the classroom longer than he normally does, eyes quickly darting away and cheeks slightly flushed when you address his very obvious staring. when it’s time for lunch, he finds himself sitting a little closer to your table of friends, his heart skipping a beat upon hearing your melodious laughter. when he sees you talking to another guy, he grips the notebook in his hand a bit tighter, a pang of jealousy ringing within him-- he dismisses the feeling and goes about the rest of his daily routine.

despite the apparent hostility in your friendship, you’ve never walked home without the other without good reason. making sure he got the both of you home safe was something jaehyun’s father encouraged him to do ever since you guys were in elementary school; it’s practically second nature to him. there’s not as much conversation exchanged nowadays, especially compared to how you two used to talk the entire walk home as kids, oftentimes having trouble stopping your giggles when you part ways to walk into your respective homes. 

he’s sitting on a bench outside of the school’s entrance, earbuds in as he waits for you to walk out the glass doors. a cool breeze flies by while he hums along to the song that had just come on shuffle. it’s a little strange that you weren’t out yet. it’s been over fifteen minutes since all club activities were supposed to end, and you never wanted to stay at school longer than you need to be. jaehyun contemplates going back inside to look for you, even going as far as getting up and throwing his backpack over his shoulder-- oh, there you are. 

“let’s go?” you finally walk out of the doors, fiddling with your tangled pair of earbuds. he feels a wave of relief wash over him, phew. he was worried there for a second. wait. why was he worried? it’s not like something bad could’ve happened to you; you were probably just talking to one of the teachers or something. he’s acting like you’ve never been a little late before. if anything, he’s probably made you wait even longer than he just did, and /you/ never seemed to think twice about it. what is up with him today? 

“give me those,” jaehyun says, referring to the earbuds you were currently struggling to take knots out of. he doesn’t actually wait for you to hand them to him, rather opting to grab them out of your hands, making you roll your eyes. he untangles the stubborn loops with ease, handing them back to you after. “wow, and no thank you? you’re feeling especially cold today, y/n.” he scoffs as he places his hands in his jacket pockets while he walks beside you. 

“and it hurts in my head and my heart and my chest and i’m having trouble catching my breath”

“myung jaehyun, thank you so much for helping me just now! what would i do without you?” you respond, very obviously sarcastic. “i’m exhausted, starving, and i’d rather not deal with your attitude again today, okay?” jaehyun watches as you plug your earbuds in and place both of them in your ears; you usually leave the one closest to him out to hear him better with the few sentences of small talk shared on the trip home. if he had puppy ears on his head, you would’ve seen them droop at the way you were completely ignoring him now.  he wanted to brag about the grade he got back on his english paper earlier, but it didn’t seem like a good time to do so. maybe you had a bad day. 

as you walk on the familiar route home from school, all jaehyun wants to do is crack a joke or make a fool out himself by doing something stupid-- anything that would possibly brighten up your mood a bit; except you’re focused only on whatever you’re listening to and the sidewalk in front of you. his mind is all over the place as he walks in silence beside you; what’s got you so upset? the exams coming up? surely not, you always seem to get higher scores than him with ease. is it the school festival? you’ve been stressing out over planning your club’s performance for a while... why does he want to know so badly? whatever it is, it’s hurting him to see you stray from your usual demeanor. 

“i don’t even like you / why’d you want to go and make me feel this way? / i don’t understand what’s happened, i keep saying things i never say” 

after dinner, jaehyun’s doing homework at his desk before he pauses to look out the window that faces yours, noticing your lights are off already. it isn’t too late, maybe around 11pm, but it’s definitely way earlier than your typical bed time, especially when finals are right around the corner. “i guess y/n had a rough week.” he rests his chin against his hand, internally debating whether or not to check in on you. it’s not weird to send you a text right? he’s just concerned, after all. 

to: my y/n sorry about earlier. are you going to sleep now?

“...are you going to sleep now? myung jaehyun, you sound like a freak, god. let’s just get to the point.” he mocks himself as he deletes his previous message.

to: my y/n i wouldn’t have teased u if i knew u were having a bad day :( need to talk about it?

“should i even bother apologizing?” jaehyun puts his phone down on his desk. why is it so hard for him to send you a text right now? picking it back up, he erases his message again.

to: my y/n u ok?  → sent!

“that should be fine, y/n can talk about what’s wrong if they want to. and i didn’t seem too needy… this is good, yeah.” he tries to convince himself that he crafted the perfect message literally 3 letters but okay lmfao, but he regrets making himself sound so nonchalant when, in reality, that is the last word he would use to describe himself right now. maybe he just needs to sleep on it. 

“tell me where you’re hiding your voodoo doll ‘cause i can’t control myself / i don’t wanna stay, wanna run away / but i’m trapped under your spell” 

jaehyun packs up his laptop and notebooks, arranging them haphazardly in his backpack before moving to wash up for bed. he’s a couple steps out his bedroom door, halfway to the bathroom, when he hears his phone chime three times. you’re still awake.  it’s almost embarrassing how fast he finds himself back in his room, eagerly opening his messages. 

3 new messages from “my y/n”! lmao yeah, life kicking my ass lately tell u more tmr if u want details :p  thanks for caring, jaehyun

thanks for caring, jaehyun. what? of course he would care. honestly, he’s offended; why do you think he wouldn’t care about you? he simply reacts with a thumbs up to your second message-- jaehyun hesitates momentarily, but he ends up reacting with a heart to your last message. he thinks you should get some sleep, you need it. 

now, myung jaehyun is having trouble sleeping. which is odd, because he normally knocks out the second he’s under the covers. his heart is practically beating out of his chest thinking back to your texts, even if it was only a couple words. it’s been a while since you two just… talked normally. it’s a sad realization, especially when jaehyun thinks about the years of history you have together. the thought of you laughing at his silly antics and hitting his arm playfully on your walk home, just like how you used to, gives him butterflies. it’s hard to ignore when he’s trying to rest. he’s searching and scanning every possible explanation in his head as to why he started looking at you differently now. he tosses and turns in his bed, even rearranging his pillows numerous times in a sad attempt to push his feelings for you out of his head and finally sleep. 

jaehyun could’ve sworn he hated your guts, but he can’t exactly explain why the “hate” started in the first place. could he have liked you this whole time? no, that doesn’t make sense… you know what, it’s probably some freaky magic manifestation stuff… yeah, that’s it. maybe a voodoo doll or something… because surely there’s no logical reason as to why jaehyun could possibly be falling for you after all this time. 

© lionhanie 2024 ; all rights reserved!

a/n: bye i think its so funny to think that jaehyun is just so unwilling to accept his own feelings that he blames it on LITERAL MAGIC looooooool silly boy i love him :,)

[louloulemons-posts]

Can I ask for a Steve Harrington x shy!reader angst where they've been childhood best friends but Steve left her for popularity, when slowly they cross paths together again, she does little things like saves Steve's fav foods, pays for his things etc? One day Steve decides to give her something nice too and apologise for their friendship drifting apart, but right before that she falls into a horrible road accident. Carry on like you want, just give a happy ending please? :) Btw, loved Touchy-Feely a lot.;))

Old Friends

Steve Harrington x reader

summary : Steve wants to fix his friendship with Reader, but it’s not as easy as he thinks.

word count : 1.5k

(he looks so stressed in this it’s so perfect lmao)

warnings : not proofread, wrote at 3am, car accident, hospital stuff, reader is injured, swears, use of y/n like twice, fluffy ending.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

It was small things, things you had always done. Giving him a pencil when he forgot his own, saving the red grapes because he hates green ones, sliding him the answers to questions that he doesn’t know.

It was a hard habit to grow out of after being friends for so long. You did try, you wanted to hate him for abandoning you. Wanted to be bitter, but he was just that boy from middle school, from kindergarten.

You did appreciate that even though you weren’t friends, whenever Tommy and Carol tried something he’d get them to leave you be.

He was your first real friend, and it was hard watching him become a completely different person overnight. People change. It’s just a shame that Steve Harrington had to become the King of Hawkins High.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Stood in the lunch line, you slid your tray across smiling softly at the lunch ladies. Finally getting to the end of the counter you picked up a fruit cup, you’d been wanting strawberries all day so this was perfect.

Heading to sit on a lunch table, you picked at a sandwich, hating your past self for not getting up 15 minutes earlier to pack your own lunch.

That was when you heard voices behind you, “It’s literally a fruit cup Steve, I’m sure you’ll live.” Tommy.

“Yeah I’ll live, it’s just one of the only decent things to eat they have.”

“Oh no, rich boy will have to starve until he gets home and his maid makes him a 3 course meal,” Carol teased.

Sighing to yourself, you’d all of a sudden gone off your food. Deciding that you’d go and sit with your friend in the art room you stood from the table. Slinging your bag over your arm, you held the tray in the other.

You knew that Steve had money, but his parents were also assholes, as soon as he could make box mac and cheese they’d leave him alone for weeks at a time. That house was big for an adult, but for a 13 year old it was like a castle.

Walking past your old friend, you placed the fruit cup down in front of him, not stopping to look at anyone. You slid your tray onto the rack with the other dirty ones and were on your way.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

It was the end of the day, and you couldn’t wait to go home, your stomach was screaming for some good food.

“Hey wait up!” a voice called, a familiar one, but no it couldn’t be for you. A hand landed on your shoulder. “Hey, didn’t you hear me call you?”

“Sorry, I didn’t think you were taking to me. Hi Steve.”

“Hi,” he smiled.

“What can I do for you?”

“I um … I just wanted to say thank you, for the fruit cup.”

“Oh yeah no worries, was that all?”

“Y-yeah,” he nodded.

“Right, I’ll see you.”

“See you.” You went to walk out of the door, but the Harrington boy called your name. “Yeah?”

“Did you … did you want to hang out?”

His eyes looked scared, afraid that you’d reject him. He’d never grown out of the habit of picking his nails when he was nervous. Giving him a soft smile you spoke, “Sure, I’d like that.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

The plan was to meet at Benny’s, you went there a lot when you were younger. You’d hang out, catch up, all that fun stuff. You didn’t know why you were nervous, it was just Steve.

Sure it’d been 3 years since you had a conversation with the boy, but he was still Steve Harrington. Your best friend. Well ex- best friend.

Driving along you were making good time, you were meeting Steve at 5:30 and it was now just past 5. The roads weren’t super busy so you could get there a bit earlier, and then try and calm down.

It would be fine, you’d go, have milkshakes, chat, have burgers, chat, have another milkshake, drive home and probably not talk to him for another 3 years of your life.

“Hey watch out!” a woman screamed as her son fell of his bike and into the road, right in front of you. Swerving the car, you stomach lurched.

The force of the turn making it uncontrollable, slamming you into a tree. Your head hit the steering wheel, blood falling down. “Ow, god my head,” you whined, trying to figure out what had happened.

It was so fuzzy, everything felt like it was going in slow motion. Ringing filled your ears and your head pounded, eyes growing heavy as you let your head rest against the wheel.

You’d just close your eyes for a second, just one second.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

He’d been here for 45 minutes now, he looked like a fool. You’d stood him up. He understood that he wasn’t a good friend for leaving you to fend for yourself in highschool, but seriously.

Sighing to himself, he pushed up from the booth, leaving a tip on the table and headed out to his car. He needed to see you, needed to know why you didn’t come.

Driving to your house seemed like the best idea, that way you could talk with nobody else around. It’d be relaxed and comfortable.

Raising a brow as he drove past a tow truck pulling a car away from a tree, ouch that must of hurt. Hopefully everyone was okay.

Soon enough he arrived at your place, parking just a few doors down he walked up, hoping your mother and father would remember who he was. He changed, but not that much.

As he was ready to ring the bell, your mom opened the door. “Oh uh hi,” he said.

“Steve honey, hello,” she sounded out of breath. “I was just wondering if Y/N was here?”

“Y/N,” she began to tear up, “They’ve been in an accident, I’ve just come back pick up their things.”

“An accident?”

“A kid came into the road, they didn’t hit them but they hit a tree. Hit their head.”

He thought back to the scene he’d come across a few moments before. Holy shit. It was your car. How could he not recognise it was yours.

Guilt flooded his chests. He had been angry at you for not showing up. You had been on the way. You’d saved a kids life and risked your own. You were hurt. In the hospital and he was mad.

“Steve,” your mom spoke, “Would you like to come with me to see them?” His eyes were glassy and he sniffed, “Would you mind?”

“Come on Honey.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Waking up your whole body hurt. What happened? The lights were so bright. Where were you? Beeping sound filled the room you were in, unfamiliar bed clothes covered you and a hand rested in yours.

You squinted, looking at a familiar face, “Steve?”

“Oh my god, you’re awake!” the boy exclaimed, “Hang on let me just get a nurse.”

“Nurse?” you asked, confused. Pushing yourself up, Steve ran to your side, “Hey take it easy!”

“What happened?”

“You don’t remember?”

“No,” you said, rubbing your eyes, “I was coming to meet you.”

“You got into a crash,” he said, taking your hand softly. Scrunching your face, you remembered bits and pieces.

“Is the little boy okay?” Steve couldn’t help but laugh at that, of course you’d be more worried about someone else. “He’s fine. Him and his mom brought you some flowers.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the diner.”

“Please don’t apologise, it wasn’t your fault.”

“I should’ve been there.”

“Like I should’ve been there for the past 3 years,” he sighed.

“Steve-“ he cut you off.

“No, I’m so sorry. I hate that I abandoned you, you’re my best friend and I just left you and when I try and fix it you get hurt!”

“Stevie, that wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes it was! If I hadn’t of left you we wouldn’t have had to meet up and catch up, you wouldn’t have driven past that kid. You’d be okay.”

“I am okay.”

“You’ve got stitches!”

“I do?” you asked, reaching up to touch your forehead. “Don’t! Gosh don’t touch, it’ll hurt,” Steve said.

“Sorry mom.”

“Oh shush.”

“It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t my fault. It was an accident, and I’m okay. I promise,” you said, squeezing the boys hand. “I want us to be friends I’ve really missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too Stevie,” you smiled at the boy, “But there is no way in hell I’m hanging out with Tommy and Carol.”

“Oh I wouldn’t do that to you, they’re horrible.”

“Why are you friends with them?”

“Honestly, I have no idea.”

“Well it’s okay, you’ve got me now.”

Rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand he laughed softly, “Yeah I do, and I don’t plan on ever leaving you again.”

“I’ll hold you to that Harrington.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

A/N : I am sooo sorry this took me so long to write, I didn’t see it in my requests. I hope you enjoyed it 🫶🏻

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

[soulwillower]

crush culture • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

requested: fic where Richie and reader have been best friends since kindergarten, and have always had feelings for eachother secretly, until one day richie gets a girlfriend (just to take his mind off her), and the reader gets jealous and distances herself from him? he obviously gets upset by this- and things go on from there? sorry if it’s too specific! love u!

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of death, fighting, mentions of an abusive relationship, intentionally pissing off richie, a bit of angst, richie is an oblivious idiot, but reader is MUCH more of an idiot, like dude lmao, but i think that’s it, unedited tho

this isn’t rly based off crush culture, but i took the title from conan gray’s song :)  

[losers + reader are 18+ in this!!!]

3.8k words L O L :))

♡

you swear to god, you’re getting sick. that’s what this was, for sure.

it started about a month ago, when you started to get headaches and terrible hollow feelings in your stomach. it happened everywhere - in the line for coffee, in class, driving home from school, at the dinner table. but it got a hundred times worse at night and then seemed to triple in force every morning when you woke.

and it all came at you some time after richie announced he had a new girlfriend.

you were really sick the few days after that, enough that you stayed home from school and laid in bed, the pit in your stomach sinking. it didnt take long for you to realize how bad richie’s girlfriend was - she treated him like a dog, like he embarrassed her - and he didn’t even seem to mind. he just brushed off every offhand comment, rolled his eyes with a grin when she told him she didn’t want to see his friends or when she told him to stop talking. 

he still seemed to like her, anyways. and that thought made your stomach convulse.

so then you had to distance yourself from richie because it hurt you to see him with her. it hurt you to see him with someone who didn’t treat him like the incredible person he was. 

so yeah.

you say you’re sick, but you know that’s not really true. it’s easier than accepting reality at this point, though, so you spew this nonsense (to yourself, mostly) in order to justify ignoring your best friend of nearly a decade because christ, he is becoming unbearable.

like the other day, at lunch while you were all sitting in the courtyard. it was your first time eating with them again after almost a week and a half, as you’d been eating alone in your car recently to avoid richie. “rich, why’d you take off the nail polish?” bev asked, out of the blue, sounding disappointed as she grabbed his free hand and examined it.

he blew smoke out of his mouth slowly and you had forced yourself to look away, the sight of richie doing nearly anything these days being pretty dangerous for you. it also made you sigh a bit - you knew he only smoked at lunch now, since his girlfriend hated it.

“don’t want my paws to be prettier than y/n’s when we hold hands.” he had joked, wagging an eyebrow at you. you’d shook your head and looked to the ground in lew of a real response, just as you had been doing a lot recently.

you'd missed richie’s frown at your reaction, but you did catch his next statement as it was added on, “nah, actually it’s because the ol’ G-F didn’t like it. thought it looked too girly.”

you, stan, bev, and mike all stopped chewing to look at richie, in varying stages of bewilderment. you'd cleared your throat quickly but decided against speaking up just as richie’s phone started to ring. he’d answered it nearly immediately, the enthusiasm of which made you feel like you’re going to be sick again - because richie never answers your calls until the last possible minute.

god, jealousy is a fucking disease.

“hey, sugar.” he had purred suavely into the phone and for some reason, hearing him call someone else sugar had you abruptly rising, gathering your things and nearly running off to put as much distance between you and four-eyes as you possibly could, because you’re not sure how much more you could take.

after that, you were absolutely sure it was just pure denial on your part.

as far as you could tell, richie wasn't noticing too much. he still phoned your house every day, just to be met with your mother telling him you 'weren't available,' and then he'd call your own phone, which you'd let buzz itself into a dark hole on your bedside table while you stared at it solemnly, guilt heavy on your mind as he left voicemail after voicemail. 

he doesn't deserve it, you think as you open the doors to the school library, backpack on your shoulders. but you can't help it. you're not his girlfriend, and you're not mature enough to accept that with any ounce of elegance so instead you just ignore him all together. at least you're self-aware, right? that ought to count for something.

you shake your head just as a voice catches your attention, “well look who decided to show up!”

richie's sitting at the usual study table in the very back corner of the library, a spot tucked away by rows upon rows of dusty books and an alcove of couches. bill sits at the head of the table, scribbling his chicken scratch handwriting onto graph paper, mike next to richie with a textbook spread out flat. across from mike is stan, writing out his statistics work. 

all three of them wave at you before going back to their work, whereas richie just watches you expectantly. his feet are kicked up on the table, textbook balanced on his lap as he hovers on two leg chairs. his smile is as blinding as always, a dimple faint on his left cheek and full eyebrows raised in jest. his curls frame his face perfectly and you want to scream.

but you take your seat next to stan with a tight lipped smile, not really sure how to respond to richie. are you even allowed to be flirty with him like you used to? he still does it on the rare occasions when you do see each other - but that itself is the issue, you figure. his flirting is just a joke, a tiff from one friend to another. but you can't see him as just a friend, and that’s unfair to him.

so you stay quiet, which makes it infinitely more awkward.

richie clears his throat and you pull out your work with an awkward expression, the minutes slowly churning by in what has to be the quietest hangout with the Losers yet.

you feel the tension building in your body and in the air, and you're not sure what's wrong with you or why you have so much resentment towards richie in this moment, because he's not done one single thing to offend anyone in the last ten minutes.

then richie's phone rings suddenly and mike jumps a bit as he's startled out of the passage he's reading. you all look down to richie's screen, where his girlfriend's name blares up at you and all you can feel is white hot jealousy coursing through your body.

richie looks half way exhausted and annoyed at the call, which you find extremely odd and out of character, not to mention persistently frustrating.

as you all stare at the phone, the tension in the room stretches tighter and tighter, like a rubber band and you can't breathe -

"uh, why is she calling you?" mike asks, as if this was something that was forbidden or shocking in any way, and for some reason, that is finally it.

the rubber band snaps.

"how could you forget, mike? they're in love!" you say with mock enthusiasm. 

bill shoots you an alarmed look that you probably should read into or at least consider for a moment, but instead you're looking directly at richie, as if challenging him.

he blinks at you and clenches his jaw, "she and i haven't really been... talking recently." richie says lightly, shooting a glance to mike.

“well then maybe you’re just not right for each other.” you quip, the blood boiling in your veins. richie's eyes snap to you and you see the fire behind them as he suddenly breaks.

“sorry, did i miss the divine intervention when god floated down on a cloud of marshmallows and deemed you expert in relationships?” he says abruptly, making your eyes widen at his outburst. he continues, “because last time i checked, you’re a bit of a failure in that department. so i don't need some jealous, disappearing-act wannabe criticizing my life when she's barely even in it.” he seethes. it’s near quiet in the library anyways, but his words seem to silence the entire town.

with a quick glance to your right, stan and bill sharing an uncomfortable look, and mike is staring down intently at his work with wide eyes.

you want to die.

does richie know? has he known this whole time that you're just deeply, painfully head over heels for him? 

"i'm so sick of your bullshit. maybe you're jealous because you want what i had, but you’re being really fucking rude."

you nearly cry. or scream.

“criticism doesnt equal jealousy, okay?” you spit without thinking, immediately regretting even opening your mouth. you're so intent on covering for yourself, you don't even take into account the phrasing he'd used when referring to his girlfriend, instead fighting with richie in order to keep your secret from him.  

this is not how you’d intended today to go. he stares at you, eyebrows furrowed in a way that almost makes you keel over in sadness, the guilt of the situation falling too heavily on your shoulders and crushing you.

it’s tranquilizing to see him like this -  he's fuming, but he's also got bright, glistening eyes which you think may be filling up with tears.

“i didn’t really ask for your input, though.” he mutters, cheeks reddening as tears definitely well in his eyes behind his lenses. “you can’t just ignore me at your every whim just to come right back and tell me what's good for me.”

you blink, shaking your head quickly, deciding to back off. now is not the time to fight, especially when you know he’s right. you had no idea it was hurting him like this. "richie, i... i just wanted-" you gape at him, extremely embarrassed.

“-i don’t fucking care what you wanted, y/n.” richie says sharply, causing you to shut your mouth so quick your jaw clicks in the silence. clearly, even the other boys are perturbed by richie’s actions and everyone’s staring down in silence at their homework.

it’s quiet like that for a few minutes, the tension so thick that you’d need a jackhammer just to chip away at it. but stan rummages through his bag suddenly, pulling out two painkillers and dry swallowing them. you don't look at anyone else, your stomach hollow and your heart thumping so hard in your chest you think you may explode.

"d-do you have a headache?" bill asks, looking at stan with concern. the sudden voice causes you to perk up, head flowing with humiliation at the fight you and richie had just had in front of your friends.

“yeah, but it’s not that bad. i guess i’m used to it.” stan says, pen between his teeth.

“just because you’re used to something doesn’t make it any less unhealthy for you.” you say louder than necessary, your mouth suddenly deciding to speak without consulting your brain. 

the glare of pure frustration that richie throws you pierces your lungs and suddenly makes you feel lightheaded. 

your pettiness doesn’t go unresponsive, of course, and mike sighs into his hands, standing up to gather his things. "alright. i can't study when you two are like this. i'll see you guys later."

richie sighs quietly and bill and stan mumble good-bye's. the library goes back to quiet for maybe three more minutes, until you see stanley start to fidget like he usually does when he's anxious. and then you notice it after a few seconds, too.

richie won't stop tapping his foot on the desk.

for everyone's sake, you try to ignore it, because you know richie can't help his compulsions - especially when he's upset (which, your mind painfully reminds you, is all your fault).

but it's driving you crazy.

“-if you keep doing that i’ll throw you out that fucking window rich, i swear.” stan mutters not unkindly, his eyes rolling to meet richie with a concerned gaze as richie stares out the window.

you raise your eyebrows, “what’re you even looking at?” you ask, trying to mend a bit of the open, festering wound you’d created in you and richie’s friendship.

without looking at you, richie shrugs. “checking to see how high the drop is. may be worth it to have schnoz just toss me down. it would certainly do you a favor right? gettin ol’ trashmouth gone for good.”

what was he saying? you look at him, scandalized. stan and bill don’t even say anything about the offensive nickname as you gape at richie. "what the fuck?" is all your brilliant mind can think.

"what, you can dish it but you can't take it?" richie says sharply. he shakes his head, looking upset. "i'm tired of trying to be friends with a fucking brick wall."

then he's gathering his one notebook and swiftly exiting your alcove in the library in a wind of cigarettes and cologne. 

you blink, his words sinking in and making you sigh shakily. your stomach feels hollow as you remember the expression of glee on his face when you'd walked into the library, and how completely different and broken he'd looked as he'd left. you think you're going to cry.

“every minute that you don't follow him digs yourself deeper into this grave, you know.” stan says, giving you a stern but encouraging look.

you let out a shaky sigh and scramble to grab your bag, tripping over your feet as you run out of the library, flying down the staircase faster than you've ever gone and making it to your lifelong best friend just as he reaches his car in the parking lot.

"-a brick wall?" you ask, out of breath. you see richie hold back an eye roll, his arms crossing over each other as he serves you a look of discomposure.

he shrugs helplessly, looking as if he's at his wit's end.

"what do you want me to say, y/n? you've been avoiding me for weeks. i know i'm annoying and obnoxious and whatever, but i'm not blind." he says, making you swallow as guilt pangs through your chest. you have been so fucking selfish, haven't you?

it hurts to hear him say that about himself. 

he sniffles a bit, sounding choked up as he goes on, "i've had a rough couple of days - weeks, even. but every time i'm near, it's like you've had more than enough, and you just leave. am i that repulsive? why do you suddenly hate me?" he asks, looking desperate as his eyes rim red, filling with tears again.

“what did i do?” his voice cracks as he whispers the sentence and your heart breaks in two.

your own vision goes glassy as he continues, "-i've needed you, y/n/n. i'm lost, i'm seriously not okay and you just don't care at all."

you're stunned for a moment, mouth opening and closing silently as your mind races to rush something out, anything,because you aren't sure you can bear to see richie look at you like this for one more second. but your silence comes off wrong to richie, and tears slip out of his eyes.

“don’t you love me?” he asks, voice hoarse and cutting right through you, deeper than any knife ever could. "don't you want me to be happy?" he adds and you take a shaky breath, looking helplessly at him, where you're met with nothing but glassy eyes and tear trails. your heart is slamming in your chest, tears falling from your eyes and you can't breathe.

"a-are you?" you ask, trying to keep your tone even although it comes out just as vulnerable as you feel. “h-happy. with her?”

richie freezes at your words, mouth slightly open and you watch a single tear course over his high cheekbones and down to his bottom lip as it shakes faintly. you curse yourself for the longing to feel those very lips against yours.

"i was." he whispers, voice shaking as he rubs his face with his hand under his glasses, the moisture of his fallen tears clinging from his long dark lashes onto his slender, shaking fingers. "and then - and then i lost you. and y'know, i got my girlfriend so i could distract myself, but she made me feel like absolute shit all the time and so i went and broke up with her, but -" he hiccups through his tears and you blink, biting your lip as tears cascade down your cheek in wet trails.

they broke up?

he broke up with her, and he's going through this breakup and trying to better himself after she tore him down and you've just been ignoring him - he thinks you don't care about him, that you don't love him. you start to cry harder. 

"-i thought she'd distract me from you. i-i'm sorry." he says, his voice muffled by his hands as they cover up his angelic face, his shoulders shaking as more tears fall. "i'm so sorry."he repeats. 

you see double for a second, completely shocked by his words as the breath leaves your lungs. he tried to distract himself from you... and he’s so hurt because of what you did. 

but finally, for the first time this whole damn day, you find the right words. "i-no, richie, i'm sorry, please - fuck." you break, letting out a sob as you rub your eyes furiously in search of any relief from the guilt ripping you in two. "i didn't mean to hurt you. i'm so sorry, i can't believe i did this, i didn't want to hurt you, i'm just so selfish." you babble, his sniffles making you open your eyes.

he looks so alone and so vulnerable as he hugs his arms around himself in search of comfort, tears still falling from his bright eyes and down his rosy cheeks. 

he looks devastatingly beautiful in the golden sunlight of the afternoon, a breeze ruffling his curls lightly. "just please, i can't - i can't deal with you hating me. please, please, please."

he's pleading with you and you think you may be sick from the guilt and sadness that envelopes you, so you spring forward and wrap your arms tightly around him. the force of your body pushes him against the side of his car and the way he clings back to you like you're the last thing holding him to earth just makes you cry even harder.

"i don't hate you, richie. i love you, i love you too much." you say, your body shaking as he just holds you tighter against him. "i'm so sorry, i didn't mean any of it. you're right. i was just jealous... i'm so sorry. i was so jealous of her, i couldn't see you be with her." you mumble. "i'm so sorry."

richie pulls you back gently at your words, his eyes wide and wondering as you look at each other. "what?" he asks so innocently, his eyelashes wet and dark and his lips parted. 

you can count the freckles on his nose and cheeks, you're so close. you can feel his shuddering breath against your face as he huffs in a breath. your hands hold onto his shoulders and you decide to fuck it, you just have to tell him how sorry you are, to explain yourself.

"richie, i'm in love with you. and - and when you and her got together, it hurt so much, and i didn't want to deal with the fact that i couldn't have you, so i just ignored you. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry." you say it quickly and in one breath, looking down at your shoes and how they point straight towards his.

"you're in... love with me?" he says weakly, sounding hopeful as you finally look back into his eyes guiltily. 

you laugh wetly, "of course i am, richie. how could i not fall head over heels for everything about you?"

he tears up again at your words, but this time it's accompanied by a beautiful smile and a light, wet laugh. he shakes his head, his arms circling your waist tighter as he presses his forehead against yours. your butterflies tickle your stomach at your proximity.

"fuck, y/n. i can't believe i spend my time trying to get my mind off you." he says and your breath hitches a bit. "do you have any idea how long i've been in love with you?" he asks quietly, and you let out another small laugh out of shock, but it's wet and gleeful.

"i'm sorry." you whisper, your finger curling around a strand of the dark hair on his head. he shakes his head, your noses rubbing slightly. "it's okay, y/n. i love you so much. please let me forgive you." he says, pulling a smile out of you that you don't think anybody else ever could. you nod shortly, looking into his eyes as one last tear falls. 

he kisses you tenderly then, taking your breath away.

richie fills up your every sense as he clings to you desperately, his lips salty from your combined tears and his arms strong. his tongue is gentle as it runs along your lips and enters your parted mouth, one of his hands sliding up to tilt your head up towards him. you're breathless because of him for the millionth time in your life and you decide kissing richie is the only thing you want to do forever. 

you pull away slowly, and as you lean back he presses a chaste second kiss to your lips, causing you to grin. 

you barely make eye contact as you pull apart and then you greedily pull him back to you, his lips finding yours yet again with a sweet, loving laugh.

"i love you too, rich." you mumble against his lips. he sighs almost dreamily as you pull back, biting your lip and laughing when he opens the passenger door, gesturing to it with a shy grin.

"now can i please buy you a burger?" he asks, almost bashfully, and your heart does somersaults. you nod and kiss him again, his hand falling to the small of your back, palm wide and fingers lower than you'd expected. he pulls away and his grin is loving, his eyes hooded in pride as you caress his cheek softly before you slide into the car seat.

he holds your hand the whole night and refuses to let go until you slip through your front door at near midnight, blushes on both of your cheeks and lips kiss-bruised.

the butterflies you feel as you fall asleep with a grin on your face are the exact same ones richie feels as his head finally hits the pillow, a giddy smile on his own face as he smiles to himself in the dark halfway across town.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @simplesammyx@brxken-heartsclub @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby  @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier   @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s  @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters

[fierysafrina]

Chapter 5.5.Catching up with you

Masterlist | Chapter 5 | x | Chapter 6

When a text message sent to the wrong number leads to many different things and it makes your world come crashing down once again.

Genre: Slice of Life | Hurt/Comfort | slight Angst Word count: 1.600 Note: Yes there are also going to be written parts. And for that scene with the toy in the reader’s hear is actually what really happened to me in kindergarten lmao a boy really did that to me and I almost forgot it until I reread this chapter just now and I’m not sure what the teacher did, but it was a really shitty move

You still weren't sure how exactly you agreed to go on a drink with Nash. Perhaps it was because of Alice's words, or perhaps there was a part of you that wanted to see how much he had changed. But that couldn't be, because you knew Nash from before. He was a tease, a trickster that always got on your nerves, always teasing you to no end.

Standing in front of a café, you were waiting. You checked the time for the tenth time and realised it only passed five minutes. Letting out a sigh, you rubbed your forehead and sighed.

"What's with the sigh?" A male voice spoke and your head snapped up.

Well knowing eyes stared at you, the corners of the man's lips turned upwards in a smirk.

“Nash…” You greeted quietly.

It didn’t seem to faze him as his smirk turned into a smile instead. “I hope you didn’t wait too long.”

“No,” you shook your head. Who were you to tell him you arrived half an hour earlier because you were nervous to meet him again. You definitely won’t tell him, already seeing his grin across his lips that would obviously tell you; “I knew you couldn’t do without me.”

Just that smile alone you wanted to smack off his face.

“Well, should we go?” he stepped aside.

You blinked before you nodded. “This café or somewhere else?” you asked and tilted head to the side, a form of gesturing towards the café you stood in front.

“Here’s fine.” He answered. “There’s not much of a crowd unlike other places.”

“Right…” you murmured. “You’re quite famous now.” You averted your gaze and Nash chuckled.

It took your breath away because it’s been so long since you last heard it and it was completely different. There was no sign of a boy neither in his appearance, less alone his voice. Only now, as you walked inside the café did it dawn you that you weren’t the only one that has changed. Nash has as well. And that was painfully obvious.

Sitting across each other, your arms were crossed across your chest, silence stretching between. Neither of you said a word as you waited for your drinks to come. Your gaze was focused mostly on the street outside, observing people while you felt eyes on you. And indeed; every time you glanced at Nash, he was looking at you. Constantly. Not once had he looked away, not even when the drinks arrived.

“You’ve changed.”

The words he spoke startled you.

You turned your head, eyes wide as you stared at him. “What?” you murmured more to yourself, but still loud enough for him to hear.

“Well, you used to be more … expressive or how should I say.”

“Yeah, because you got gum in my hair.”

“That was twenty years ago.”

“Baby, I can’t remember what I ate yesterday for lunch, so it’s a lot if I remember what you did to me twenty years ago.” you argued back with a huff.

How could you tell Alice and Shuzo you had a crush on him? He was everything you avoided.

He snorted and you glared at him. Covering his mouth with his hand, he looked down at his cup of black coffee, making you reach for your drink instead. There was silence, but this time it wasn’t awkward like it was before. It felt rather nice, pleasant if you could say so. You could spot a small smile growing behind his hand and you didn’t have it in yourself to call him out on it.

“You had a game today, didn’t you?”

Nash’s eyes widened, but he nodded. “Against Heat.”

You hummed, a small smile across your lips. “How was it?”

“As usual,” he shrugged. “We won easily.”

At that you scoffed. “Of course you did. You always win, don’t you?”

“Not always.” He murmured to himself that you barely caught it. Before you could ask what he meant, he asked; “So what are you up to these days?”

“Job market,” you shrugged with a sigh. “Searching for a job. I won’t ask what about you, cause I’m literally seeing you on every sports channel and everywhere in LA.” At that you both laughed.

“It’s been a while.” You said out of nowhere.

Nash stared at you like he was trying to read you, but quickly gave up on it. He took another sip of his coffee only to grimace at the bitterness because in the next moment he took sugar from the table and poured it in. You couldn’t help but laugh, making him look at you in confusion.

“I never thought I’d see you drink coffee one day.” You covered your mouth behind a hand, a teasing smile on your lips. “I imagined you’d be more of an alcohol type.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint you, princess.” He grumbled under his breath and you laughed once again. “I can’t exactly drink alcohol before the game, can I?”

“Well, I heard of some players that did and still do.”

“Well I’m not one of them.” He snapped rather harshly, his glare intensifying.

You raised your hands in defense, a teasing smile on your lips. “Well, you certainly have changed in some regards.” you mumbled, but Nash heard you loud and clearly.

“I can always go back if you want me to.”

“Well, don’t let me be the reason for you to get suspended or have bad luck.” You shook your head. “I don’t want your fans on my back either. I already had to deal with that in school all those years back.”

“Not that you were against having my attention aimed at you.”

At those words you felt your cheeks heat up, the tips of your ears along, and you blabbered incoherent words. “W-why did you a-ask me out today o-of all days?” you stuttered.

“Can’t I?” was his simple reason that made you scowl. “I told you; I wanted to catch up with you.”

“That’s bullshit and we both know it.”

“Not really,” he shook his head. He stared directly into your eyes and you couldn’t help feeling embarrassed, because he was looking at you so sincerely that all those rumours you heard made you wonder if he truly was capable of things he did.

But then you remembered Sarah and Nash in a classroom long after classes were done. How you couldn’t believe what you were seeing, because you didn’t want to believe it. How your chest felt tight and even had trouble breathing. All because you didn’t want to believe those rumours you heard. Because when Nash was with you, he was anything but arrogant. Sure he teased you and pulled on your hair, but that was all there was. He didn’t call you names, pet names or did anything too mean.

So many times you heard that he liked you, especially from your parents and relatives. But if he liked you, why was he hurting you?

“What are you thinking?” His voice brought you back from your thoughts.

You forced a smile; “Nothing.” Taking your drink, you took another sip before you focused back on the street outside. “You know what,” you spoke after a moment and faced him. “Why did you do that? Why were you pulling on my hair and put the gum in my hair? Or that time when you drove a damn toy truck into my hair so the teacher had to cut it.”

Nash’s cheeks turned into a bright shade of red and he coughed, avoiding your gaze. It seemed like he was embarrassed that you brought that out, but you wanted to know why he did that. All this time you thought he hated you, but when he was nice to you, it also confused you. You didn’t know how to feel about him, so your feelings for him changed constantly.

“I-I don’t know …” he stuttered out an answer. You raised an eyebrow at that, hardly believing it. “I-I just did what I thought was okay to do.”

“Yeah, well, it certainly wasn’t okay.” You crossed your arms, going on defense in a second. “I had no idea if I did something wrong to you or what. One moment you teased me constantly and then you acted all nice. What even was that?”

“I did that to everyone.”

Something about the way he said it, you didn’t like. His words sent sadness through you and your breath hitched. Your eyes grew teary, but you controlled your emotions before he could see your demeanour change. You didn’t want to give him any reason to pick on or tease you again. You didn’t need more misfortune in your life like you did all those years back.

“Of course you did.” Your voice turned just a bit colder than usually.

Nash looked at you, his eyes just a bit wider, but instead of saying anything about it, he blurted out; “Wanna go out with me tonight?”

"You know what? Yeah." You said and it took you a moment to realise what you just said. You both stared at each other like you both grew another head before you burst into laughter. Nash followed quickly after, a rather comfortable silence stretching between the two of you.

You glanced outside and saw the sky slowly turning darker and for some odd reason you didn't mind Nash's presence.

“Where do you wanna go?” he asked after a moment, breaking the silence.

You shrugged. “Surprise me.”

Nash mirrored it and he stood up, you along. He paid for the drinks before you left, both completely unaware of curious gazes that followed you at the distance.

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

hmm.... i think i need some very soft dean childhood headcanons...... perhaps......

I SUPPOSE you can have A LITTLE softness...... as a treat

As we know....... he Wuvs Hugs. YOU get a hug! And YOU get a hug. EV-RY-BO-DY GETS A HUUUUGGGG!!!

He was just The Sweetest. An Angel. People/relatives were DELIGHTED to see him and sometimes they'd give him like $1 or a piece of candy and he was like

Honestly just super friendly. A social butterfly. He never really had a shy phase

Ever since he was a baby he's always smiling!!! Full of enthusiasm for even the smallest things. Just. The happiest boy

He sits with kids who are by themselves at school!!

He has ZERO tolerance for bullies, even all the way back in kindergarten. TALK SHIT GET HIT (he may also call them words he's overheard his dad muttering in the garage)

BIG mama's boy!!!

He holds her hand when they're in public

(He went through a not wanting to sleep in his own bed phase for awhile)

We been knew but he's cuddly af. Always.

Snuggling with mom on the couch while they're watching tv/movies!!

He picks flowers he sees while he's playing outside and gives them to her!! He makes things for her too like every drawing, every little craft is for mom!!

He hates to take naps (except with mom) but he still gets tired and just passes out in the middle of whatever he was doing/playing with. Sitting at the table, on the floor, on the couch, wherever he was. Just knocking tf out.

SO CURIOUS. "What's that??" "What does that do??" "How does that work??" "Why??"

HE LOVES TO HELP. Helping mom in the kitchen!! Helping mom with laundry!! Helping mom at the store!! Helping mom get the mail!! Helping mom in the garden!! Helping mom!! Helping dad in the garage!! (John is happy to teach him and loves doing it but he asks so. many. questions. sometimes it gets on his nerves and he's like "Why don't you go see if your mom needs help inside?" lmao)

But sometimes she's busy, sometimes his friends can't come play, or sometimes it's raining all day long, and he's bored. If only he had someone to play with all the time... and then it hits him. And he asks for a brother. And he keeps asking all the time, every day, until eventually they tell him he's going to have a baby brother or sister and HE'S OVER THE MOON

But he's impatient. Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?? How much longer?? Why does it take so LOOOONNGGG??

And then Sam is born and he's SO EXCITED but babies are a full time job so his parents have less time for him and newborns sleep 90% of the time so he can't even play with him and he's kinda like "wtf what a ripoff"

But when Sam gets a little older (still only 1 year at most though) Dean just spends like all day with him. He carries him around and plays with him all the time and he always tries to make him laugh

And!! His favorite thing is teaching Sam things. And he's SO PROUD!! And he wants to show it off to everybody like "Mom!!! Look what I taught Sam!!!"

This isn't a headcanon this is canon but gosh. Can we talk about the fact that he would comfort his mom when her and John were fighting and John moved out for a bit. Can we talk about that. "It’s okay, Mom. Dad still loves you. I love you, too. I’ll never leave you." The emotional intelligence. How his entire life he's been taking care of people. How even though he was forced into a caretaker role for Sam that's also just who he is at his core. Can we talk about that??

Anyway. Before I get angsty

[et-lesailes]

family of five

pairing: dad!chris x wife!reader

word count: 2085

summary: just a typical evening in the evans household starring you, chris, and your three children.

themes: fluff, marriage, children, mentions of sex

taglist: @viarogers​ , @evanstush​ , @chibi-crazy​ ,  @pining-and-tired​ , @songforhema​, @sebabestianstan101​ , @tanyam93​ , @bval-1​, @wonderwinchester​ , @little-miss-exo​, @poerebel​ , @gogomez-509​ , @patzammit​, @a-distantdreamer, @malthestorytellerblog, @rainbowkisses31​, @jbug491writinghelp​, @quaideraid​, @melannie77​, @gigistorm, @lille-kattunge​, @teller258316​, @rohaintahquil​, @deidrashouseofpain, @firstangeldragonranch, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests​, @xoxabs88xox​, @heyiamthatbitch, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @bangtan-serendipity, @troublermalik, @beardburnsupersoldiers, @captainscanadian​, @rumoured-whispers​, @lemonster120​, @puddlejoy​

note: yeah idk just had muse for this lmao might make a part 2 with smut?? lmk what u guys want :))

“Hey, hey! Dad that was totally unfair, I wasn’t ready yet!” 

“Damn, maybe you’re just not ready to be on the football team then!”

You giggled fondly as you watched your husband and son playfully tantalize each other, leaning over the deck watching them practice throws and tackles. While it was normally the patriarch who manned the grill, you were more than happy to be the one currently making the burgers and hot dogs for the family- summer was coming to an end, and the five of you were making the most of each day before everything got hectic again. Sixteen-year-old Rayne with her acting classes and dance team, fifteen-year-old Lowell with his football tryouts and, well, constantly being out with his friends and his “girlfriend” of the week, and ten-year-old Mickey with her piano practices and soccer games. They were certainly an active and well rounded bunch, and you couldn’t be more proud. You and Chris had really refrained from putting too much pressure on them; the two of you had just gotten lucky with having children who had so many interests and an eagerness to get involved. 

“Mom! Mom, oh my God, look!” You looked up to an excited Rayne practically bouncing out to the deck, holding up her phone screen. “Josh just asked if I wanted to get ice cream with him tonight! Can I go??” You looked at the text with a wide smile before looking to her. “Sure sweetie, after dinner, okay? Is he picking you-”

“Excuse me, what’s going on here?” You hadn’t even heard Chris come up the stairs of the deck, but now he was already leaned over behind you, one hand on your shoulder as he inspected the message. He then looked to his eldest daughter with a playful twinkle in his eyes. “Is this the Josh who’s a senior? An older boy, Rayne? Give me that phone, let me text him.” The teenager laughed, immediately pulling it back. “Dad! You literally met him at the game last year, you said you liked him remember??” She sighed dreamily, clinging onto your arm playfully. “And he can drive. He has his own car. And he’s so mature, he’s so much better than the boys in my grade!” 

“You still have a crush on Josh?” Lowell came bounding up the stairs, blonde hair slightly sweaty from his and Chris’ little practice. “Haven’t you liked him since, like, kindergarten?” Rayne rolled her eyes, letting go of your arm and looking at her screen starting to text him back. “No, that’s ridiculous. But… he did have a really cute haircut in first grade…” You couldn’t help but laugh, turning back to the grill and flipping the patties. “Well, looks like he’s interested in you too, girlie. What are you going to wear?” The girl immediately looked up with wide blue eyes. “Shit! I gotta figure that out! I’ll be right back!” She was already dashing inside and up the stairs when you looked up, Chris calling playfully after her, “No short shorts or spaghetti straps, got it?! And tell Mickey to get off that damn iPad and come down for dinner!” 

Lowell arched an eyebrow in amusement, leaning against the railing as he crossed his arms. “Man. Rayne’s got a date tonight and I don’t? Maybe I should hit Haley up…” Chris looked to his only son, scoffing lightly though grinning. “And what happened to Chloe? I thought she was the new love of your life.” The blond teenager sighed dramatically and you couldn’t help but quietly giggle as you began moving the burgers to a platter. “Chloe’s… fine, I guess, but we don’t have a lot in common. I think I just liked her because she has big boobs. Seriously, they practically look fake, but they’re not.” You blinked and wrinkled your nose playfully, reaching out to give him a light punch. “Lowell! You can’t decide you like someone-- let alone love them-- because of their boobs!” He playfully whined, rubbing his arm. “Well I know that now, I learned my lesson! Isn’t that what I just said?” Chris laughed, taking the platter and setting it on the outdoor table. “Well, we’re proud of you for learning these important life lessons, kiddo, but I wish you had the same motivation to do so in class….” 

“Don’t get your hopes up, Daddy,” a smaller but cheeky voice sounded from the open sliding doors, your youngest daughter standing there with a playful grin. “Lowie should just stick to sports.” The older boy blinked and made a face, coming over to ruffle his sister’s hair- he had certainly inherited Chris’ height, considering that at fifteen he was already almost six feet tall and towering over little Mickey-- and even you. “Excuse you, nerd, just wait until high school. It’s harder, okay?” Chris chuckled and came over, playfully scooping Mickey up and over her shoulder as she squealed and giggled. “Don’t be such a smart ass with your brother, princess. And you,” he turned to Lowell, reaching out to ruffle his hair just as roughly, “Mick’s not a nerd. She just happened to inherit her mama’s wonderful brain.” 

“So…. Mom’s a nerd, too?” Lowell questioned playfully, giving you his signature devious grin. “Excuse me?” You put a hand on your hip as if ready to scold him, but you were obviously joking around-- it was quite a daily occurrence for your family to roast each other like this. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” He ran over to hug you as if scared you were upset with him, then suddenly picked you up off your feet making you scream in surprise before laughing. “Alright, alright, put me down!” He laughed too, setting you back down on your feet. “Love ya, Mom!” He gave you his charming smirk identical to his father’s and you rolled your eyes, shaking your head fondly. “Yeah, yeah. Go set the table.” 

“And get me a beer from the fridge!” Chris called out after him, still holding Mickey over his shoulder as she playfully squirmed around. 

______________

“God I love when you wear that shirt, baby.” Chris came up behind you at the dresser in your bedroom, wrapping his arms around you as he gave your cheek a kiss. You smiled as you looked down at your Patriots tank top before turning your head to quickly catch his lips in a light peck. “Well, it makes my boobs look good, so, you know.” You answered playfully, and he smirked as he moved his large hands up your waist to nonchalantly squeeze your breasts. “Your boobs always look good. Especially since you had the kids, shit.” You giggled, turning around to face him and rubbing his chest lightly. “Let’s go say goodnight to the kids and then you’re more than welcome to worship my boobs some more,” you teased, and he laughed, leaning down to kiss you. “Mm alright, seems like a fair deal to me.” 

Rayne’s room was first. She was already laying in bed, curled up under the sheets and probably texting Josh, no doubt. She had already come to your room to tell you and Chris everything about the date; it meant a lot to you that your children could be so open about their personal lives, and you knew Chris was pleased about this too. While he joked around about being overprotective and not wanting Rayne to date, he was not strict or controlling- he understood that that would not get his children to communicate or be honest with him. And so instead, he offered them healthy advice about dating, knowing that while they would eventually make mistakes they would learn from, he could do his best to make sure they still stayed as safe as they could while exploring other relationships. 

“Alright, Ray Ray, time to say goodnight to Josh.” Chris playfully commanded as he walked in, leaning down by her bedside to give her a kiss on the head. She wrinkled her nose but shook her head cutely as she turned to look at him. “I can’t right now, Daddy, he’s telling me a really funny story!” You smiled and came over to give her a kiss as well. “Don't be up too late, sweetie. We love you.” She sat up slightly to give both of you hugs. “I love you too!” 

The two of you stepped out, heading for the game room next- you had already tucked Mickey in about an hour or two ago, the youngest always sleeping earlier partly because of her designated bedtime and partly because she ended up being sleepy so early anyways. You opened the door slightly and stood in the doorway with a light smile; Lowell had a couple of his friends sleeping over, and the three of them were currently sitting in front of the TV aggressively using the controllers. “Hey buddy. Just wanted to say goodnight! Do you boys need anything?” you asked, and one of them immediately paused the game, looking up at you almost dazed. “No, no we’re good!” Chris watched in amusement, simply wrapping his arms around you lazily from behind. “Alright, well there’s extra blankets in the laundry room. Don’t play games all night, yeah?” His friends were still staring at you, wearing rather goofy smiles. “We won’t, Mrs. E! Promise!” Chris raised an eyebrow, holding back his laughter. “Alright. Night, kiddos.” Lowell smiled up at both of you. “Night Mom, night Dad. Love you guys!” You blew him a kiss before stepping back, closing the door. “Man, your mom’s so hot,” you and Chris could faintly hear from behind the door, and you had to cover your mouth to keep from laughing. “Ew, Dylan, shut up!” Lowell scoffed, but another voice sounded after, “Alright, if not her, think I have a chance with Rayne? She’s so pretty, she looks just like your mom…”

“Jesus,” Chris mumbled as he kept his arms around you, though his smile indicated that he was just as amused. “Hell no, Rayne already has a thing with Josh Miller. Now can we stop obsessing over my mom and sister? Unless you want to talk about Mickey next,” Lowell spoke sarcastically, and they all finally returned to playing. You giggled as you let Chris pull you into your bedroom, closing the door behind you.

“They’ve got it bad for you, baby doll. How’s it feel being a MILF? Not that we didn’t know you were one already.” He teased, pulling you onto his lap as he sat down. You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck, arching a brow. “Apparently both of us still got it, because Rayne’s friends obsess just as much over you.” 

“Mm? You jealous, pretty girl?”

“Maybe I should be, considering you clearly like younger women,” you spoke as you gestured to yourself playfully. He laughed loudly, leaning in and kissing you lovingly. “Don’t worry, baby doll, I’ll at least wait until they’re eighteen,” he joked, running his fingers through your hair. You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help but giggle; you had always shared the same sense of humor, and so he never failed to make you laugh (until he brought out the incredibly lame dad jokes). He let out a sigh afterward, pulling you down with him to lie down together, arms wrapped around you. “Damn, it’s been a long day.” He turned to face you more properly, smirking slightly. “Honey, I gotta say I’m kind of looking forward to them going back to school.” You blinked and laughed, poking his nose as you inquired, “Why?” Though you already had a pretty good idea.

“Mm so Daddy can fuck his pretty girl all day long without having to worry about any meddlesome ears listening in.” He growled close to your ear before giving your cheek a playfully rough and sloppy kiss. You hummed as you barely shivered, always turned on by his more dominant and authoritative side, running your fingers over his chest. “Maybe I can help Daddy out a little right now,” you purred, slowly moving your hand down to rub his crotch, barely smirking upon feeling his bulge through the fabric. He let out a little groan, bucking his hips. “Fuck… that’s my girl….”

It was safe to say the two of you were up late, perhaps even later than your children-- you could only imagine what the first day of school would be like. You doubted he would even let you make it to work on time, if at all.

[lustresky]

chocolate [peter parker x f!reader]

summary: Ned’s idea turns out to be not that bad after all. (Or, a story in which you and Peter play the Pocky Challenge.)

wc: 4000ish. 

themes: teenagers being teenagers, asian snacks, fluff (to be very honest this is the very first story of mine to only have. like. a teaspoon of angst haha), mj’s bffs w reader, ned is the best wing-man we never knew we needed, peter’s adorable as usual

a/n: title is a song by bbolbalgan4 which i think perfectly describes reader & peter’s sweet ass relationship. this idea came to mind when i was eating pocky lmao. also! i imagined reader as asian cause i am too and i kinda ended up putting irl things about me (being an immigrant, a nerd, and having strict but loving parents) into her story, so if you want to imagine her as such, please feel free to do so! i don’t think that it really matters much in the end tho haha

“I’m gonna get some snacks,” You announce as you stand up from the sofa, popping your neck and letting out a satisfied sigh as you hear it crack. “You guys want anythin’? Mom and I stopped by the Asian store last night.”

“Ooh!” Ned breaks his stare from the TV screen, lowering his controller onto his lap and looking up at you with a grin. “Did you guys get some Shrimp Chips? It’s been a while since I’ve had some of those.”

You let out a snort, “Duh! One pack of Shrimp Chips comin’ right up.” You say as you open the kitchen cabinet in which your family kept the snacks; a colourful array of different chips and biscuits staring back at you in greeting. You ruffle through them to find the familiar pink and white plastic packaging.  “What about you— Pete, MJ? You guys cravin’ anything?”

“I’ll have some Hello Panda, if there’s any!” MJ calls back, and you didn’t have to look up from your position to know that her face is still buried in her true crime novel. You hum back in response at her request.

“Pete, what about you?” You say, as you finally find two packets of Shrimp Chips hidden in the corner of the cabinet; you take one in your arm as you proceed to look for MJ’s snack.

“I’ll um— I’ll just have whatever you have, Y/N! Thanks!” Peter answers back just as you find the familiar diamond shaped, pink box containing the strawberry filled cookies. You place it in your arm, right next to Ned’s snack.

“You sure you don’t want anythin’ specific, Pete?” You reply back, as you dig through to find the snack that you’ve been craving for ever since coming home from school with them three.

It had become an unspoken tradition between you four to hang out at your house every Friday after school; you really don’t remember when it had first happened exactly, but you had never once complained about it. It’s, and had always been, fun spending time with them— and the fact that your parents always have their ‘date nights’ (Which, to be fair, you think that they deserve to have as a tradition considering how hard they work to give you a good life.) on Fridays means that you four have the entire apartment to yourselves, which is pretty nice.

Surprisingly, your parents— as strict as they are with their upbringing of you sometimes— are pretty lenient with them staying over every single time. You assume that it’s only due to the fact that they’re all nerds (No hate, you’re one too.) who actually get good grades and focus in school, but it could also be that your parents just want to make sure that you aren’t hanging out with the ‘wrong’ crowd.

Hah, you laugh to yourself. If only they knew the truth.

Not that they’re a ‘bad’ crowd per se, but you don’t really think that they’d react nicely to finding out that you’re actually hanging out with your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man and his ‘posé’ every Friday afternoon… nor the fact that you’re harbouring a secret crush on him. Nope, nope. You’d get your ass whooped.

“Yeah, just pick whatever you want, Y/N!” Peter responds just as soon as you find the thin, red rectangular boxes behind the packets of dried mangoes. You hum back in reply to Peter’s answer, grabbing two packs, licking in your lips in anticipation. To top off the pile, you add a few random packets of candies and a few bottles of Yakults, Milkis and Banana Milk. They didn’t ask for any drinks, but you figured that it would only be appropriate to get some while you’re at it.

Trudging back to the living space, you let all the snacks fall from your arms once you reach the sofa, hearing Ned whoop and MJ set her book down on the floor as she rummaged through the pile for her own snack.

Within a blink of your eye, only the two boxes of Pocky and a bottle of Banana Milk and Milkis are left. You let out a laugh as you see MJ and Ned promptly stuffing their faces with their respective requests.

You plop down next to Peter on the carpet, desperately ignoring the rising heart-beat in your chest. God, keep it together, Y/N! You tell yourself.

Peter didn’t notice you nor react, much to your disappointment; his head’s still buried in his textbook, right hand scribbling away on a piece of scratch paper beside it. His brows are furrowed, lips set in a tight line as a bit of his tongue poked out in concentration— Christ, who the hell gave him the right to be this cute?

MJ suddenly speaks up to Peter, breaking your gaze from his form onto hers. “Dude,” She says, lips popping off of the Milkis can. One of her eyebrows rises up as her hand lays down her book onto the sofa. “It’s Friday, can’t you like— do your homework some other time?” She pauses to pop a Hello Panda in her mouth. “You have the whole weekend for that.”

“Yeah, Pete,” You agree, siding with her. You pop open the other can of Milkis as you slide the Banana Milk over onto Peter’s side. “Come on, I know that we’re all nerds and all, but still…”

Peter looks up at you, and that’s when you notice how his cheeks are tinted with colour. His brown eyes pass over yours and then onto the drink that you had slid over to him. Letting out a sigh, he rakes his hand in his hair, effectively messing it up even more and making your heartbeat rise faster against your wishes. What the fuck, how can such a simple move get you so bothered?

“Fine,” He breathes out, dropping his pen onto the table, taking the drink and ripping open the plastic in which the straw for it was enclosed in. Peter stabs it in, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down at each gulp he took. After a few sips, he gives you a small, grateful smile as butterflies subsequently flew into your stomach. “Thanks, Y/N.”

You grin back, feeling heat creep up into your cheeks. “No prob Pete, anytime.”

As he looks back onto the table to inspect the other snacks that you had brought, consequently ending your eye contact with him, you see MJ looking at you with a huge smirk on her face as her eyebrows wiggled up and down.

You scrunch your nose at her, annoyed and embarrassed at her teasing; though you can still feel your cheeks flaring. You had discovered your feelings for Peter just a few weeks ago, and you had only confessed about it to MJ just last week— but she definitely made sure that she knew of the fact every chance that she got.

“Come on, Y/N!” She had hissed— a few days after you had told her. You had been in front of your locker, desperately trying to ignore her words as you focused on getting the stuff you needed for your next class. “Peter likes you too, I’m a hundred percent sure of it.”

You had closed your locker in a huff, the metal door slamming with a pretty loud bang. You ignored the eyes that had turned towards you in consequence as you stared down MJ, whose arms were crossed as she leaned to the locker adjacent to yours. “First off, how can you be that sure, and two, why do you want me to confess so badly anyways?” You had asked, annoyed. She only meant well, you knew that, but you were tired of her constant and incessant teasing.

“Because one, my observation skills are pretty damn great— I didn’t figure out who the web-slinging neighbourhood hero was for nothing,” She had replied, voice lowering into a whisper as she reminded you of how she found out Peter’s secret.

“And two, because I’m tired of you guys waltzing around one another like some kind of five year olds in kindergarten!” She had replied back, and before you could’ve retaliated, the first warning bell rang; telling you that you only had five minutes left to get to your class.

So you had left it at that, her words ringing in your ear as you stared down the mathematical formula on your notebook.

“Ooh… What are these?” Peter breaks the memory that had suddenly resurfaced in your mind, his hands holding up the slim, red, rectangular box. ‘Pocky?’” He asks as he reads the English words on the packaging.

“Yep,” You say, grabbing the snack from him as you ignore the brush of your hands on his. Keep it cool, Y/N. “You’ve never had some before?”

Peter shakes his head. “No— at least I don’t think so?”

“Well then, you’re in for a treat,” You say with a smile as you open the box nonchalantly, taking out the plastic packaging in which the sticks were in and ripping it open; making sure that you open it non-coated part up so that he wouldn’t get chocolate all over his fingers. “Here.”

“I— um, thanks.” He says as he grabs one of the biscuits and promptly takes a bite of it, eyes widening in delight as the chocolate coated his tongue.

You let out a small giggle, amused at his adorable expression. Holy fuck, my heart can’t take more of this shit.

“Did you guys just say Pocky?” Ned suddenly intervenes, concentration breaking from the TV and onto your outstretched hand. “I didn’t know you had some, Y/N!”

You let out a snort as Ned promptly takes one for himself. “Well, you didn’t ask, so.” You shrug, laughing at the look of betrayal on his face.

He just shakes his head and takes another bite of the chocolate dipped snack. “Ah,” He muses, one hand on his chest while the other holds up the Pocky as if it was a buried treasure that he had just uncovered. “This reminds me of that one time me and Betty did the Pocky challenge… What a pleasant memory.”

“Oh, really?” You laugh at his antics, grinning up at his dork-like stance. Ned never failed to bring up his summer fling with Betty; and you don’t think he’s ever really going to bring that down. Ever since they broke up, citing that they’re better off as friends, he had started acting like he knew the ins and outs of teenage love.

“Uh-huh.” He replies, a wistful smile on his face, effectively making you snicker. “It was nice…”

He suddenly drops the hand on his chest, lips forming into an ‘o’. You raise an eyebrow at his unexpected change of demeanour. “What’s up?” You ask, taking a gulp of your Milkis.

“I have a great idea,” Ned answers. You just raise an eyebrow up in response, urging him to go on as you continue drinking.

He claps his hands together. “Let’s do the Pocky challenge!”

You almost snort out your drink; making you cough excessively.

Peter quickly looks up at you in concern. “You okay?” He asks, hand instinctively going to your back and giving you a couple of soft pats. If it weren’t for the fact that you had almost inhaled a handful of liquid into your lungs, you would’ve spluttered like a teenage girl in love (Which, honestly, you think you would end up being if Peter keeps acting like such a sweet fucking gentleman.) at his action, but instead you just tried your best to breathe; chest heaving at the sudden intrusion.

“Yeah— yeah— no, I’m fine,” You wheeze, letting out an embarrassed chuckle at your little accident. You try your best to ignore the fact that his warm hand’s still laying on your back, still patting it softly. “Just got surprised— that’s all.”

Peter sends you a nod, a smile on his lips as he retracts his hand back to his lap. (You try not to let your disappointment about it show too much— MJ would never live it down.) He looks back at Ned, and asks, “What’s the Pocky challenge, anyways?”

You also look back at Ned, who gives you an eyebrow raise in concern— it isn’t really his fault that your mind had immediately supplied you with the image of you and Peter doing the challenge, promptly almost making you choke in response. Well— technically he did bring it up, so maybe it is kind of his fault… but seriously, who can get angry at Ned?

“Yeah, Ned,” You try to play it cool, clearing your throat. “What is it, anyways?” You add, as if you don’t already know. Come on! Anyone who has had a Tumblr or has watched anime knows what that is.

Ned claps his hands once again. “Okay, so basically,” He starts, taking another Pocky stick out from the pack, showing it off as a diagram. “Two people each bite the end of the Pocky as much as they can, and the one who pulls away first, loses!”

You feel Peter flinch from beside you. “Oh—“ was the only response that he had for Ned’s explanation. You didn’t even try to reply; your imagination seemingly deeming it the best time to go full on creative mode, much to your dismay.

Ned continues, “Well, you know most people just stop after a few bites— but me and Betty…” He trails off, the wistful look from before appearing on his face once more.

You let out a snort, ignoring the way your cheeks feel like they’re on fire. “Okay, okay— we get it, Ned,” You say, shaking your head. “You and Betty did food play, TMI, but— okay.” You joke, trying your best to steer the conversation away from the topic.

Ned breaks his recollection with an offended gasp at your words, whilst you hear MJ cackle from behind you and Peter.

“Y/N!” He says, scandalized. “I can’t believe— we’re children!”

You roll your eyes. “Ned, we’re literally going to college next year,” You reply, popping another Pocky in your mouth. “Plus, Tumblr and Twitter exist, dude. I bet I know way more than you do.” You laugh.

You feel Peter straighten beside you, and you inwardly take a 180. Christ, was that too much?

Sure, you’ve been friends for two years— but now that you think about it, you’ve never really discussed anything about… things in the bedroom before. Sure, you’ve talked about crushes and people that you find attractive, (You always made sure to keep your feelings a secret, though.) but nothing more than that.

You were about to take back what you had said, but before you can even do so Peter clears his throat. “Well— are we—” He says to no one in particular as he shrugs his shoulders.

Raising an eyebrow at him, confused, you ask, “Are we… what, Pete?”

Peter looks at you completely. You force your heart to beat at a normal rhythm. His face is tinted pink as he answers, “Doing— the… challenge?”

Your breath hitches in your throat.

Damn you, thalamus.

Ned answers, much to your disagreement. “I mean yeah, why not? Not like we’ve got anythin’ else interesting to do.” He says as he shrugs his shoulders.

After a beat, his face morphs into a look of disagreement. “But like— don’t do it with me, though. As much as I love you, dude, I don’t think I’d be able to do that.”

“Yeah, no—” Peter scrunches his nose up at the same thought. “Love you too, bro, but same.”

Ned’s face quickly lights up, however, and suddenly you have a gut feeling that you aren’t going to like whatever it is that he’s going to say next.

“You can do it with MJ, though—” Ned doesn’t even finish his sentence as a throw cushion goes hurling at him.

“Yeah, I’mma have to stop you right there, chief—“ MJ says, disgust evident in her voice. “My lips are not going near anyone else’s tonight. Thank you.”

Ned just grips the pillow in his lap and looks over at you. Oh no.

“Well, Y/N, how ‘bout you?” He raises an eyebrow, and you try your best not to show the fact that your heart is leaping out of your chest.

Play it cool, Y/N. Play it cool.

The correct answer is probably “Yeah, thanks but no thanks.” but God, this is probably the first and only time that you’ll ever be able to get this chance.

So you muster up some courage, acting nonchalant.

“I mean...” You clear your throat as you look at MJ, who’s already staring at you with a sly grin on her face. She nods, urging you to say yes.

Fuck it.

“I’m not… opposed to it?” You answer, shrugging.

Peter’s breath hitches— and before you even know it Ned has opened the other box of Pocky as he forces you and Peter to sit properly in front of one another.

“Okay, you guys know the rules,” Ned says all seriously, acting as if he’s a game keeper. You let out a laugh to get your jitters out. “First one to pull away loses!”

“Didn’t think I’d be doing this on this fine Friday evenin’.” You joke, doing a horrible southern accent and trying your best to keep the butterflies in your stomach at bay. Peter— thankfully— laughs back, putting you at ease somewhat. You grab a Pocky, taking the non-coated end and wrapping your lips around it.

“You may begin!”

Peter lets out a breath and goes in.

You can hear MJ cheering you on whilst Ned cheers for Peter.

As you continue biting down on the biscuit, Peter does the same.

Neither of you are slowing down.

Once your mouth reaches the chocolate part, you smirk as an idea pops in your head. You really don’t know how this will end; but one thing’s for sure, you aren’t going to lose.

You look up at Peter and make eye contact; trying to be clever by intimidating him.

Being this close to him allows you to gaze right through his eyes; and your smirk immediately falls from your face as you realize…

His pupils are dilated.

Fuck.

The heat crept higher up your cheeks— but no, you are not backing down.

You quickly break the eye contact as you continue nibbling on the biscuit, choosing instead to focus them on his nose.

Shit.

You had never realized that he had freckles before.

Peter doesn’t stop biting down— and so you don’t either.

You hear MJ whoop louder, as Ned resorts to full on squealing.

By now there’s only a few centimetres between you two, and you can’t help but look at his eyes once more.

You notice the faint indents of lines around them, the slight bags under his eyes, the flutter of his black eyelashes as he stares right back into yours.

The beat of your heart rises, making you break your gaze and dropping them onto his lips.

Pink, pillow-y, soft…

Before you know it, your concentration breaks as Peter suddenly retracts himself— leaving you with the last bit of Pocky in your mouth.

MJ cheers and laughs louder, whilst Ned groans in defeat.

You won.

The living room’s filled with noise as MJ teases Peter relentlessly and congratulates you. Ned promptly disses Peter and gives you a reluctant, but still somehow proud, pat on the back.

You know that you should be happy too— you won, just like what you had told yourself that you’ll do; but the sound of your heart dropping in disappointment by Peter pulling back from you is deafening.

Looks like MJ’s observation was wrong.

After the impromptu ‘celebration’, you four decide to binge watch a new series on Netflix.

Ned then sits himself next to MJ, both of them sprawling out on the sofa whilst Peter sits on the floor.

Usually, you would sit right next to him, you two sharing a throw blanket and almost cuddling beneath it; but this time you choose to sit far from Peter— sitting by yourself on an armchair.

You just don’t think that you can handle being in close proximity with him for the time being.

It’s dumb, you know that. It isn’t his fault that he doesn’t like you— but damn, did it still hurt.

If you’re telling the truth now, before the game had started, you had hoped that it would end in a kiss; but now that you think about it more, you just feel like an idiot for even thinking of that as a possibility.

You feel a pair of eyes on you, but you shake it off and try your best to focus on the show in front of you.

After a few episodes, you hear the front door open and close. Your parents must be back.

MJ must have noticed, too, as she brings her arm up and pauses the show with the remote. She stands up, cracking her back and letting out a sigh. “Well, that must be our cue to go home.”

You tear your eyes away from the screen, looking over at the clock. It struck 10 just a few minutes ago.

Ned stands up too, letting out a yawn. “Yeah, I’m dead.” He groans.

You let out a snort, forcing your body to stand up too. “Fine, fine,” You say, popping your neck. “Go home, you invaders.”

Peter stands up as well, but he doesn’t say anything.

You follow them three towards the front door, passing your mom and dad on the way. They both give you a peck on the cheek as a greeting, giving MJ, Ned and Peter a nod as well. They seem tired, but the huge smiles on their face are enough for you to know for sure that they enjoyed their night out.

You see Ned out first, who gives you the handshake that you both had come up with two days before as a goodbye. MJ scoffs and Peter’s eyes widen, but it’s evident that they’re both impressed.

“Bye, Ned!.” You chuckle, ending the routine with a fist-bump.

MJ’s next and she gives you a hug; her perfume wafting in your nose and instantly calming you down. Her arms seem to last longer around you than usual, but you don’t say anything about it.

“Goodbye, my lil’ nugget.” She says, and you laugh upon hearing the nickname, your head resting on her chest.

They both left first as they took the same path home. You’re then left alone with Peter as usual, who still hasn’t said anything since you got up with them three to say goodbye.

It’s always been like this, Peter being the last one to leave; but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. The awkwardness and tension residing in the air due to the game that you both had played.

So there, in front of him, you had stood; hands playing with one another, eyes cast down on the floor, as your heart felt hollow in your chest.

You sigh.

Best to get it over with.

As you open up your mouth to say goodbye, Peter beats you to it.

“Y/N I—“ He starts, and your eyes immediately rise up to make contact against his.

Your breath gets caught in your throat.

With the glow of the moon and street lamp, he looks… wonderful: his brown eyes glowing with the faint light, the freckles on his cheek now visible to your eyes upon your discovery of them a while ago, his brown hair tousled and messy…

You muster up some courage, and you open your mouth once more—

Except you’re cut off with a kiss.

When Peter pulls away, you’re greeted with the sight of him flushed; cheeks, ears and lips tinted red.

You don’t say anything for a while, still needing to process the unexpected yet welcomed surprise in your mind… and also the delightful sight in front of you.

However, Peter’s face quickly morphs into a look of distress, promptly breaking your silence. “Shit! I’m sorry Y/N! I didn’t—“ He fumbles with his words. “I didn’t ask—“

You shut him up with another kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck and pushing him closer to you.

Peter melts like chocolate in your arms.

He tastes like it, too.

When you pull away, you smile at him; your eyes crinkling and your heart hammering in your chest.

“We should’ve done that earlier.”

thanks for reading! as always, requests are open! & pls don’t forget to like and reblog, thank you! c: 

[7dys]

highschool!jeno

repost !! if you’re reading this and think it seems familiar that's because you’ve already read it <3

word count: 7.1k 

a/n: this gif is so god damn CUTE im losing it anyways we’re breaking this accs fic virginity with one of my favs <333

warnings: underage drinking, some k*sses

lets start on the first day of school back from winter break

it’s cold as h*ck outside and you didn’t wear enough layers because ya know how cold could it be ??

the answer is: VERY COLD

you pull up to school and park next to donghyuck and immediately launch yourself into his car

it has seat warmers and you’re tryna get IN on that action

you’ve been friends with donghyuck and renjun since kindergarten when i tell you these boys have seen you at your WORST

you’ve recently adopted chenle as the youngest member of the Crew since he hates everyone in his grade lmao

prince chenle please have mercy on the plebeians :(((

anyways you’re in hyuckie’s car and shivering and he doesn’t even flinch when you get in bc this is a common occurrence

and then, like clockwork, renjun catapults into the backseat followed by chenle and they start shivering too

basically everyone is cold except donghyuck and he looks SMUG

and then chenle is like u guys !!! my bestie jisung says there’s a new kid today !!!! let’s befriend him !!!!!!!!!!!!

and you’re all like , who the hell is jisung

chenle explains in great detail how him and jisung both share a love for making fun of jisung’s senior friend, mark, and that they are now Best Friends Forever

renjun is lowkey insulted that his Son didn’t tell him but it’s okay

anyways you tell him to invite his other friends + new kid to come sit with you guys at lunch if it’s That Deep and chenle squeals and bounces in his seat

absolute Baby Boy

before you go inside you sprint across the lot to fling yourself into lucas’s car and beg him for a sweater since you know he leaves like 5 Big Ones in his car at all times

lucas is sort of the Big Irresponsible Brother of the group and he isn’t as close with y’all but he’ll come hang out and make terrible jokes and laugh really hard at them

and he’s very weirdly protective over you guys ?? like he’s a goofy boy but if someone looks at one of you wrong ???

he’s suddenly a Big Man On The Block and he’ll look all intimidating and scary

u know he could do it if he really wanted to

he puts up a valiant effort to ignore you since he knows it takes WEEKS for the sweater to be returned

but you pout and latch on to his arm and he sighs and shakes you off and goes uGH fine

you smile and thank him and call him lukie and he lunges for you as you yeet out of the car with sweater in hand

you squeak when you almost run face first into lucas’s friend mark’s shoulder during your Big Escape

you’ve always,,,, lowkey thought he was cute but he’s also older than you and Out Of Your League so :/

also your only connection is thru lucas and that’s a slippery slope my g

you’re still friendly though so he when he makes a surprised face you both giggle and then wave as you head to school and he opens the door to ask lucas if he’s finished their partner powerpoint

lucas has not

obviously

you vaguely know the boys in lucas’s friend group but all you really know about jisung is through chenle and you know next to nothing about jaemin other than he’s pretty

because,,,,, everyone knows that

okay so you head to first period and unfortunately you don’t have that class with any of your Buddies

you go in and take your usual seat by the window since history is a whole snooze fest and you like to watch the clouds outside

you like the teacher though so you take it every year anyways

you’re curled up in the seat since you’re still cold and your chin rests on your knees as you count how many birds are in a flock that’s circling around

and then you hear the quiet murmuring of the class raise to more of a commotion and bring your attention back to the indoors

the teacher, Mr.Choi, has just led in a new boy and

holy shit he is beautIFUL

he’s a few inches taller than you and has a somewhat athletic build

and those are nice and all but your favorite thing has got to be his smile

his whole face seems to emit sunshine when he smiles , albeit nervously

and his eyes turn up into little half moons even while he flicks a piece of dark hair out of his eyes

uwu such a CUTIE

mr.choi introduces him to the class and his name is lee jeno !!!

you’re still curled up as his eyes start to scan the room and they fall on you

his lips quirk a little in what you assume is amusement at your position and ridiculously oversized sweater

you blush and try to quickly change position to sit like a Normal Good Student

but end up banging your knee on the desk and cursing under your breath and turning even more red

he ducks his head bashfully and then makes his way to his seat which is ,,,, the one next to you

NICE ONE M8

everyone starts getting their stuff out and jeno leans over and whispers to ask if your knee is okay

such a sweet boy :(

you can barely look at him when you nod and he smiles again and you almost mELT INTO A PUDDLE

he goes back to his supplies and you both wait for the teacher to start the lesson

you try to focus you really do but your head wanders off and soon you’re daydreaming of bouncing on clouds and being able to speak to animals and other impossible things

you jump when jeno taps you on the shoulder

“hey? um the bell rang ,,,, and also i think you um missed the notes so if you want a picture of mine you can have one”

“oh my goHSH i’m so sorry i’ve really gotta stop doing that thank you so much !”

you snap a quick picture of his notes and thank him again before rushing off to your next class

about 5 steps out the door you hear jeno stumble out behind you

“wait ! you never told me your name !! ......and also i don’t know where my next class is”

your lips press together to keep from giggling so that he doesn’t think you’re making fun of him

you hold out your hand for his schedule and tell him your name

bUT he thinks you’re going for a handshake so he grasps your hand with his large and calloused one

you sQUEAK ALOUD

and he whips his hand back in fear that he’s hurt you or something

“oh um ? oh my god i’m sorry did i hurt you ???”

“no !!! i was just surprised ??!:&;&”

“that i , shook your hand ?”

“i mean i was holding it out for your schedule”

“oh . yikes”

“it’s okay though ! i shouldn’t have been surprised shaking hands is a uh normal thing isn’t it”

“yeah ,,, haha”

and then the late bell rings and you both jump

you pluck his schedule off the ground where he had previously dropped it in his haste to pull his hand from yours

you unthinkingly grab his wrist and pull him in the direction of his next class and practically push him into the classroom before rushing to your class

your math teacher is Strict and will def be getting onto you for being late :/

the rest of the day passes normally except your usual daydreams are interrupted by one Soft Boy

it’s finally fINALLY time for lunch though thank you god

you meet donghyuck and renjun at your usual spot outside

you guys pretty much sit out there every single day no matter the weather unless there’s like monsoon or smth

you squish up close to hyuck and try to get warm while you wait for chenle and apparently all of his friends that he’s bringing

soon enough, you spot him excitedly dragging a fond looking jisung followed by lucas and mark who are even fonder looking

just behind them is jaemin who is cracking a joke to none other than the New Boy

you panic.  because oh no you definitely uhh embarrassed yourself earlier ????

but it’s too late to back out now

just to be sure though you straighten up so you’re not too close to hyuck

cANT HAVE HIM THINKING YOURE NOt COMPLETELY SINGLE AND AVAILABLE

chenle and jisung plop down across from renjun and lucas swings a leg over the bench so his back faces you and then leans all his weight on you

“ouch you OAF get off of me you’re like a million pounds”

“a million pounds of pure muscle baby hell ye”

mark smacks the leg on the outside of the bench so he’ll sit normally and sits on his other side after giving you a wave

jaemin hooks his arm around jeno and proudly introduces him to the group

jeno smiles his smile , y’all know the one

and he waves

when he catches your eye though his smile somehow gets even brighter

“oh y/n ! hey !!! did you make it to second period okay ?”

“oh um yeah? i mean i was late and mrs.park gave me an extra homework assignment but it’s fine”

“oh gOD i’m so sorry do you want me to do it for you ?? i feel so bad”

“no no it’s fine i need the practice it’s okay really”

and then you both pause and realize everyone is staring at you

yikes

jeno explains how you two already met that morning and the boys seem appeased even though donghyuck eyes you slyly

he mouths that you’ll be discussing this with him later rip you

jeno ends up sitting across from you and you do your best not to stare at him but he’s in your diRECT line of sight

you have a habit of absentmindedly kicking your feet and just moving them around and you accidentally brush his shins and ankles multiple times

he waves you off everytime you apologize

the whole of lunch is spent basically merging the two groups

everyone settles into their roles pretty easily and you wonder why there are literally no other females except you

but then you realize why when lucas starts attempting to burp the abc’s and almost barfs :))))))))))

you whine and cover your eyes because like other people barfing makes yOU feel sick and then everyone is sick and that is Not Good

you push yourself as close to donghyuck and as far away from him as possible as everyone goes NO NO STOP NO

he stops when everyone starts yelling at him lmao

once he stops and you peek an eye open you smack him and huff and kick your legs out, hitting jeno’s shins once again

“jesus y/n he just got here and you’re already bruISING HIM”

“ IM SORRY ITS A BAD HABIT DJFJ”

jeno just reaches across the table and pats your forearm and tells you not to worry about it

“i play soccer you guys my shins are made of STEEL”

okay also there goes your last shred of self restraint soccer players are everyone’s weakness and you cANT TELL ME OTHERWISE

also he just ???? patted your forearm like it was nothing this boy is just asking for it isn’t he

the rest of the day passes pretty quickly and throughout the week you get back into the swing of things at school

jeno has literature with you later in the day and sits by you and giggles while you tell him about how much the teacher looks like sully from monsters ink

to be fair the guy is a gentle giant but he’s really large and rather hairy so

what did he expect

jeno seamlessly fits in with your group of friends it’s almost like he was always there

a lot of the boys sometimes forget he wasn’t n they’re like hEY remember when-

and he’s like uh no i do not lol

unfortunately jeno arrived too late to join the soccer team with mark and jaemin bUT that doesn’t stop him from joining you all in going to support them

every week the whole lot of you either attend the home game or follow the team bus to wherever the away game is

usually you have to split between 2 cars since even without mark and jaemin there’s 7 of you

and no one owns a minivan or would like to so

usually renjun and lucas drive

lucas, contrary to popular belief, is actually a really good driver as long as chenle is not in the car

the two of them are entirely too excitable to be in a confined space together

during one of the last games of the season it’s really REALLY cold

you rode with lucas and donghyuck called shotgun so you and jeno sat in the back and renjun brought chenle and jisung

on the way there your nose was running just a tad so you were sniffling every once in awhile

jeno kept offering you his gloves and hand warmers but you insisted you were fine and that this happens every year when it gets cold at soccer games

you don’t protest though when you arrive and he wordlessly removes his beanie and pulls it down over your head, making sure your ears are covered

your cheeks turn as red as the tip of your nose and now you’re not so sure you needed the extra warmth at all

he blushes a little too and quickly scurries away to the bleachers ejjdj

you stack your arms high with blankets from the trunk to sit on and wrap yourselves in

cold metal bleachers are no bueno

you wobble up the steps as chenle and jisung bound ahead of you and lucas walks behind you to make sure you don’t trip and die

he’s caring when he wants to be uwu

jeno takes some off your pile when you get to the spot he reserved for the Gang and spreads them across the seats

you distribute the rest amongst you and huddle together for warmth while you wait for the game to start

donghyuck is seen silently threatening chenle and jisung with his eyes when they move to sit on either side of you and then sending a sugary sweet smile to jeno and beckoning him to sit next to you

chenle and jisung squish together on your other side and lucas sits between renjun and chenle,,,, theyre lowkey his favorites

donghyuck pouts about sitting on the edge but is appeased when mark and jaemin come out onto the field and mark waves and blows him a kiss

boy turned redder than his hair but didn’t miss the chance to catch the air kiss and smack it onto his cheek

jeno has left a few inches of space between you as a Common Courtesy i guess but really no one would mind if he just ,,, scooched on over

as the game progresses the both of you lose the tension in your shoulders until eventually you’re pressed up against his side just as much as jisung is trying to leech warmth from your other side

everytime one of your buddies scores or assists or does literally anything you all simultaneously stand up and SCREAM

one of these times you stand up and open your mouth to scream only to sneeze violently lol

like the kind where you try to hold it back and it comes out as a squeak but the force shakes your body and you do a little jump

jeno stops cheering to place a hand on the middle of your back and stoops to meet your eyes

he asks if you’re okay through sporadic chuckles because it was kind of funny

and you nod and shove his shoulder and tell him to stop laughing >:(

you dramatically turn away from him and cross your arms and he laughs even harder

he circles his fingers around your wrist and pulls you to face him and his laughing is only renewed by the pout on your face

“aw cmon it was funny!!!”

“what if i’m DYING jeno ???”

“you aren’t though”

“how would yOU know >:(“

“it was one sneeze, sugar”

“don’t call me sugar when i’m trying to be mad”

“okay, sugar”

you smack his shoulder lightly and he bursts into laughter and swings his arm around you pulling you into his side

you blush but do your best not to stiffen and make the moment awkward

so instead you go limp and let your cheek squish against his leather jacket before he lets you go just in time for your whole group to sit down

would’ve been awkward if y’all were just embracing while everyone else was seated lmao

you spend the rest of the game trying to forget about how easily he pulled you into him and how you wouldn’t mind staying right there tucked under his arms with your sides pressed together

the both of you settle for just sitting close enough that the side of your thigh is pressed against his

when the game ends you all go out onto the field to congratulate mark and jaemin on the win !!

you hug them both even though jaemin tries to wipe his sweat on you that SHIT

he raises an eyebrow at the black beanie still tucked onto your head and right at that moment jeno reaches across your huddle of friends to tug it back down over the red tips of your ears

jaemin’s eyebrows raise even more at that and you just shrug and smile sheepishly

then everyone piles into their respective vehicles and sets off for home

it’s pretty late at night and screaming and shivering is rather energy draining

before you know it jeno has flopped over with his head in your lap and the rest of him stretched across the backseat as much as he can

you’re too sleepy and warmed up by both his actions and the car’s heating system to question it

so you just run your fingers through his hair

it’s unsurprisingly very soft and silky and he seems to enjoy your actions GREATLY

not long after you start his breaths even out and his hands come up to wrap around the part of your thigh just above your knee

he nuzzles the side of his face into your leg in his sleep and even Half Conscious Y/n is kind of shocked and blushy but continues to pet him

lucas eyes you both in the rear view mirror and smiles fondly oof

“is he cuddling your leg back there y/n?”

“yeah it’s okay though, it’s ,,,,,,,,, cute”

“isn’t it? he’s always been cuddly, almost like a cat”

you mumble a little yeah and return your attention to the sleeping boy in your lap

when you get home lucas drops you off last so as not to wake jeno too early

but eventually you gotta so you tug on his hair a little and poke his cheek but he only grips you tighter

“hey. jeno !!! kitty cat !!!!!!! wake UP !!!!!”

“you’re being too gentle he requires a Forceful Awakening”

and then lucas reaches back to pinch him hard or something but you wave your hands around and whisper shout nO

can’t hurt the bby :(

your last resort is pressing your cold hand that hadn’t been in his hair against his neck and he jolts and his eyes flick open

then his face scrunches and he shoos your hand away from him

“alright alrIGHT i’m up”

he sits up and looks absolutely fucking aDORABLE with his hair all fluffy and sticking up

his eyes are only half open and he stretches before realizing he is home and thanking you both

he pulls you into a sleepy and sort of awkward hug since the backseat isn’t Ideal for affection but you appreciate it nonetheless and pat his back

him and lucas do some sort of bro handshake and then you watch him shuffle to his front door

you climb into the front seat because opening the door and letting cold air in is the Phattest Mistake Ever

lucas smirks and you smack him before he can even say anything

“i dIdNt EvEn SaY aNyThInG”

“ and you will continue doing so”

“okay but you guys were pretty cozy back there huh?”

“what’s it to u”

“and that seems to be his beanie on your head , isn’t it?”

“wHATS IT TO U”

he shakes his head and laughs and drives you home

you thank him despite him being The Worst and hug him

you also make him swear not to tell anyone when your elbow bumped into the horn and you screamed

when you make it into your room you change into comfy clothes sluggishly and practically fall onto your bed

you cover your face with your hands and try to pretend like you aren’t smiling REALLY hard right now but you’re fooling a grand total of no one

it’s a friday night so the next morning you let yourself sleep in as much as you can stand

you make pancakes while pointedly ignoring all the texts from donghyuck when you notice the subject of all of them appears to be jeno

lucas has everyone’s numbers and makes a big group message because he just fckin loves chaos i guess

he sends a hopelessly typo filled text about there being a party that night and since he’s invited you’re ALL invited

and okay you’re no stranger to parties but like jisung and chenle are innocent babies

and you’ve got no idea what jeno is comfortable with since you all literally met him just a couple of weeks ago

you eventually respond to hyuck’s long and almost illegible texts with just “no.” and tell lucas you’ll go if only to make sure no one dies

you get called lame and a mom for that one :/

fast forward to this party

you’re wearing cute clothes but also it’s cold so like , cute sweater and jeans hehe

you’ve designated yourself and chenle as Designated Drivers

1:your anxiety wont allow you to get drunk since you’ll be unable to take care of Your Boys

2: chenle is almost unbearable sober , so

you’ve got jeno in the passenger seat and the rest of 00 line squished together in the back while chenle drives The Fossils and jisung

you pull up and the party is ,,,,,, really fucking big

there are entirely too many people here for your tastes but the boys spill out of your car with excited whoops when you FINALLY find a parking spot so

u gotta stay homie :/

you walk in behind them more sedately while chenle excitedly clings to yukhei’s back

you shout at him to watch his head just in time for him to dodge the door frame when yukhei does an excited lil jump

he smiles sheepishly at you and then shouts ONWARD MIGHTY STEED as his “steed” thunders into the crowd of people

you can already tell you’re going to have a difficult time with this since chenle is No Help Whatsoever

you’ve lost whoever was with chenle and jaemin has already flirted some poor soul into making him drinks

jeno is clinging to jaemin and looking around in nervous wonder since he knows absolutely no one here

donghyuck has challenged a Giant College Boy to beer pong and is ,,,,,, winning

renjun is cheering at the side and you decide to go join them

renjun leans over and is all so u just gonna let jaemin steal ur man like that ?????

you smack his already drunk ass (renjun sCREAMS lightweight) and tell him jeno is Not Your Man

he doesn’t have to know that you wish he was :////

so you hang out with hyuck and renjun until they’re both too annoying to stand and you go try to hunt down jaemin and jeno

to make sure jaemin isn’t pressuring jeno into anything

not that jaemin would get him into BAD things per say

he’s just a persuasive person and you don’t want jeno to get stuck in seven minutes in heaven with some random girl or too drunk to walk a straight line

if anything he should get stuck in seven minutes in heaven with you !!! >:(((((((

you find him perched on the arm of the couch in the living room with jaemin nowhere to be seen

he’s literally just smiling serenely at nothing while two younger boys (hey look it’s jisung and chenle) poke each other without tearing their eyes away from the screen

because god damn it chenle refuses to lose to a drunk jisung at mario kart

you tap him on the shoulder and he turns to look at you and his whole face just lights up ????

he smiles so big and gasps excitedly and his eyes do the scrunchy thing uwu

you’re about to playfully pinch his cheek and ask him if he’s doing okay but like

he literally snatches you by the waist and  pulls you between his legs and presses his face into the soft part of your neck where it meets your shoulder

you turn red and your heart goes baduMBADUMBADUMBADUM

he doesn’t even notice or if he does he doesn’t say anything ???

your hands fall to his shoulders and try to gently pry him off but his grip only tightens

“ouch oUCH jeno you’re crushing my organs”

he immediately loosens his grip and tilts his head back to look up at you

“ ‘m sorry, pretty”

“did you just call me pretty”

“well you are”

“i am what?”

he giggles and knocks his nose into your chin

“you’re pretty !!! silly y/n hhehsheehhe”

“oKAY you are very drunk aren’t you?”

“mmhmm :)))))))”

“alright, time to gather the Gang and head home. wait here and DO NOT MOVE okay ?”

he doesn’t acknowledge you and just rests his forehead back on your shoulder

you go to find the rest of your probably very drunk friends but jeno ,,,,, doesn’t let go

you turn around in his grip and try to push off the couch to get him to let go but he is VERY STRONG

and refuses to let go

you’re very torn because being held by jeno ???  absolute 10/10

but also you want to leave ?? and he won’t ??? let you ???? find the boys ??????

“jeno, sweetheart, you gotta let me go”

“noooooo but you’re so soft and u smell good n ur so prettyyy :(“

“god why are you so cUTE drunk?”

“ ‘m cute all the time, babe”

“and very flirty apparently”

“ i mean all of it !!!! ‘s not just because i’m drunk i promise !!!!!!”

“okay okay i believe you but you gotta let me go find our friends so we can get you home”

“i don’t wanna leave :(((( ‘m gonna miss you”

you literally have to put a hand over your heart because that’s so fucking adorable

“okay what if everyone comes over and hangs out at my house hm? i won’t be gone for long”

“okay ,,,, can i come with you though?”

“yes ???? everyone is coming to my house??”

“nO you’re so silly omg i mean to find everyone”

“yes now let go”

you go to move away and instead he just stands up still wrapped around you from behind

at this point you’ve done everything you can so you just let him be

you walk around the party and snatch up every one of your Sons Even Though A Lot Are Older And Bigger Than You and corral them out to their respective transportation

you make sure chenle knows to bring them back to your house since your parents are out of town on vacation (without u ,,, :/ )

and you get lucas to pry jeno off of you and place him in the passenger seat

even drunk and giggly he is Strong Man

you climb in the car and tell hyuck to Shut Up and jaemin to stop trying to make renjun sit in his lap

jeno reaches across and immediately latches onto the hand closest to him

you’ve decided to just accept his excessive affection for the night tbh

i mean , it’s not like u hate it or anything ,,,

but you still pretend like it’s a hassle for the sake of your dignity and jiggle your arm a little in his grip as a half hearted attempt to get him to let go

instead he lifts your hand to his mouth and kisses it and then smiles at you really wide

you turn RED and start the drive home as quickly as possible so you can Focus On The Road

when you pull in renminhyuck excitedly run towards your front door while you extract your hand from jenos and get out of the car

he follows you and tangles your fingers together as you walk to the front door

drunk renjun is even more excited than before and is like aRe YoU gUyS dAtInG nO w ??:$&;&(

jeno bounces up and down next to you and then goes

“aw can we ??? :)))) please ???”

you splutter and just drag him past the others to unlock your front door

“alright find yourself a place to sleep that is NOT my bed or my parents bed and lay down there. i will bring pillows and blankets,,,,,,, and medicine for in the morning”

after like 45 seconds of protesting that they aren’t tired renjun knocks out curled up in an armchair and jaemin and donghyuck decide to build a pile of pillows to sleep on

they look super cute all curled up together :((((((

chenle arrives not much later dragging along jisung by the hand

mark and lucas stumble in not long after giggling

mark sees hyuckie curled up with jaemin and let’s out a scandalized gasp before literally picking him up bridal style and depositing them both on the couch

donghyuck wakes up (“mark~~ i missed u”) and proceeds press himself against marks side and fall back asleep

jisung and chenle join a Cuddly Even In His Sleep jaemin and lucas climbs in your parents bed

you are entirely too tired to stop him and he’s too heavy to move so you just leave him

jeno has disappeared and you have your suspicions ,,,,

they are confirmed when you enter your room and he’s perched on the edge of your bed looking like he fell asleep sitting up

at the click of your door opening he perks up and when he sees it’s you he lifts his hands towards you and makes grabby fingers :((((((

BABY

“ i have a feeling once i do that you will not let me go so ,,,, i’m gonna change first okay? do you want to borrow some sleep clothes?”

“heheHeh yes pls love u”

you smile and shake your head before handing him a pair of your sweatpants

because honestly they’re big on you and he’s ,,,,,,

got a flat ass so he’ll fit in them

he starts to take off his jeans and you’re like nO NO WAIT TIL I LEAVE TO CHANGE DHDJKF

you snatch up a big t shirt and leggings and dash to the bathroom across the hall

you splash water on your face so that you’ll actually believe that this night really fuckinh happened oh my god

you slowly change into your pajamas and then creep back across the hall, hoping jeno fell asleep already so you won’t have to face him like this

he’s being so soft and affectionate and ngl it’s scary that when he wakes up he might not remember

or he might remember and want to pretend it never happened :((((

but nonetheless might as well enjoy what ya got while ya got it

he’s awake and sitting in the middle of your bed now, cross legged and drawing circles in with his fingers into your comforter

his head lifts and he smiles again and reaches for you , again

this time you let him and come close enough to reach him and hold out your hand

he grabs it and pulls you ,,,, on top of him

he genuinely just lays back and takes you with him so you’re laying on his chest and your legs are tangled with his

he grabs your other hand places them both on his own shoulders before dropping his arms to wrap around your rib cage

“jeno please i don’t want to crush you”

“hey you could never !!! im a big boy in strong enough >:(“

“i never said you weren’t but we cannot sleep like this”

“says who? :(“

“says me”

he rolls the two of you over so he’s now half on top of and rests his head over your heart

“how about this?”

he says it a little too smugly so you pinch his cheek before settling down to sleep

you wrap one arm around his shoulders and your other hand naturally comes down to rest on his forearm that’s laid across your waist

“jeno?”

“yeah babe?”

you pause at that to inhale deeply because good christ he is going to be the death of you

“will you,,, will you remember all this in the morning ? and like , still mean all the things you said?”

he props his chin up to look at you but you remain staring at the ceiling

“yes. i promise. i’ll even kiss you if you’ll let me.”

“oh i dont know about that”

he narrows his eyes and pinches your side for that one so you squirm in his grasp

“okay oKAY we both know i literally want nothing else”

“hell yeah i know that , see u in the morning lovebug”

“goodnight bubs”

and you both fall asleep literally seconds after

the next morning no one in your house is awake before noon

you are the first to rise and you gently get out of bed without waking jeno and tip toe to your kitchen

you quickly start making an excessive amount pancakes because they are after all, Teen Boys and their stomachs are after all, Bottomless Pits

renjun shuffles into the kitchen not long after and pours himself some orange juice before wordlessly sitting at the table behind you

you make pancake after pancake almost mindlessly, it’s weirdly relaxing ??

lucas comes in next and bangs into the door frame before serving himself 8 pancakes and eating them at a scary pace

he realizes how Damn Rude that is by his third one and looks up to thank you enthusiastically

“yeah yeah just don’t make a mess you caveman”

“yes ma’am”

“careful there yukhei she might like being called ma’am”

and would you look at that donghyuck has entered :-)))))))

you flick some pancake batter in his direction but it hits mark who is right next to him

and poor dumb baby licks it off his finger and his face crinkles in disgust and you burst out laughing

hdjdjdjdj god please mark look out for yourself more jesus

in the next 15 minutes, the chatting and the smell of breakfast brings everyone crowding into the kitchen except jeno whom is apparently still asleep in your room

everyone has served themselves and you’re cooking the last of the batter by the time jeno stumbles in and wraps himself around you to prop his chin on your shoulder

the clatter of utensils quiets down to silence as they all gape at the easy and familiar affection jeno bestows upon you as if it’s an everyday thing

your hands freeze in their movements but jeno doesn’t move

his eyes are half closed and he rests a good bit of his body weight against you

you clear your throat awkwardly and give the others an evil glare over your shoulder

chenle is the first to hurriedly return to eating and the rest join in soon

you turn your head to whisper that you’ll get his pancakes done sooner if he doesn’t lean on you too much

he backs off but still lingers and presses the ghost of a kiss to your shoulder in acknowledgement

:((((((((((((

the boys snicker when you duck your head and blush but luckily that was your last pancake so you chuck your spatula in their general direction

chenle screams and throws himself into yukhei’s lap for cover while the rest cover their heads with their arms

you snicker and jeno squeezes you one last time before letting go and sitting at the table

at this point there is Nowhere For You to sit and the boys are too busy being rowdy teens to make room for you

jeno takes your plate from you and pulls you. into his lap.

the aUDACITY OF THIS BOY

WTF

the boys luckily don’t take much notice so you eat quickly and hop up to take everyone’s plates and pile them in the sink to wash later

jeno watches you fondly as you buzz around the kitchen in between conversations with jaemin about whatever antics they got into together last night before you found him

okay time skip you’ve ushered everyone out of your home

and refused to give a ride to anyone since you had to deal with their Drunk Foolery all last night

instead of hugging each of them there is a giant group hug that honestly hurts more than it helps

but chenle was involved so, what did u expect

jeno stays behind

it’s honestly so god damn domestic how he leans against the door frame and waits for you while you wave on the front porch to all the Babies

you come back inside and close the door and jeno is ᵗʰᶦˢ far away from your face

“hi”

“hello~”

“did you need something?”

“yep!”

“and what would it be, i wonder?”

“oh nothing too extravagant”

“spit it out wonder boy”

“okay so you know how you said you would let me kiss you last night?”

“i vaguely recall,,”

“okay well i’m cashing that in”

“right now ??”

“right now”

“did you even brush your teeth today?”

“yes, because i knew you would say that”

“damn.”

then he chortles and lifts his palms to cup your face

he leans in even closer so that your breaths mingle and his nose nudges against yours

then he abruptly pulls away and like ?? wtf dude ?????????

“okay but first things first: be my girlfriend”

“is that the best u can do”

“no but my best would take longer and i wanna kiss you RIGHT NOW”

“well jeez you make a hard bargain”

“. oh my GOD”

“JSKDJ IM SORRY ILL BE UR GIRLFRIEND”

“THANK JESUS”

and then he kisses u.

HARD

IM SCREANSKNSH !!!!!!!

he uses his hands to tilt your head back so he can get the perfect angle and he smiles against your lips when you start panting for air

you lean away and he chases after you, not wanting to be apart for a second

he captures them again and kisses you so softly you could CRY

I AM CRYING !

then he pulls away and presses a lingering kiss on the part of your forehead just between your eyebrows and you go a little cross eyed trying to keep an eye on him

his eyes are still closed when he parts from you and his smile is Big and Beautiful fuck

then you launch yourself at him and cover him in little pecks n kisses and he squeaks because he’s a soft shit

to escape Your Affection he pulls you close and buries his head in your shoulder 

you wrap your arms around him and stand on your tip toes for it to be more comfortable for you both

but jeno has no plans of letting you go anytime soon so when your calves fatigue and you fall flat footed jeno pulls away and drags you to the couch

he declares this your First Date and puts on ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, marley and me

wtf jeno ? u tryna have a Sob Fest????

and it really does end in crying for both of you lmao

it’s pitiful

afterwards you watch that weird rip off of the smurfs called the snorks where it’s exactly the same except they’re underwater to get out of your Sad and Depressing mood

jeno eventually leaves because his mom has texted him 2738484 times to get his ass home

you walk him to the door and he kisses you goodbye in the Softest Fashion You’ve Ever Experienced and then waves at you over his shoulder on the way to his mother’s car

rip she had to pick him up since he didn’t drive there

as he walks away you’re almost uh Mad at how good he looks in your sweatpants

he notices your stare and opens his mouth to offer them back but you wave him off

“keep em, babe. they look better on you anyways”

and this , this BOY

winks, sLaps hIS OWN aSs ? and says

“i know they do ;)))))”

SJDKDK

the other boys each individually text you some variation of

“sO ??&: U AND JENO ?!?!:!;!&,&:”

and you reply to them all with

“yep.”

and Refuse to answer further questions

you and jeno fall into affection and dating so easily it’s as if you’ve been in a relationship all along

jeno is naturally very affectionate with just his friends so with you it’s tenfold

he literally can’t go more than 2 days without being able to see you

in person

and preferably kissing you

if he doesn’t see you for awhile he will sneak into your room and curl himself around your back

the first time he did it you were already in bed when the window opened and you thought he was a MURDERER and threw a book at him

once you had both calmed down he tackled you and pressed you into the sheets until you were out of breath from cackling and squealing

jeno loves you , so much

he loves you with everything he’s got and it’s honestly so endearing to you that he’s so attached

especially since you are just as attached i mean look at him

he calls you lovebug or sweetheart or any other slightly cringey nickname he can think of but he always uses your name when he tells you he loves you

he wants to you to know that he MEANS it and he FEELS it with every fiber of his body

and honestly what more could you ask for ?

[freakygeekyramblings]

One of the best things you can do as a college student is kindergarten flirt with people. Here’s a list of things I have done recently:

• put a dead fly in their calculator (his name was Joey and he needed a proper resting place)

•put their hood over their head and told them to come back when they were ready after they kept messing up their words (in a lighthearted way, they were tired not dyslexic I’m not an asshole)

•played baseball with a ball of tape and a dry erase marker

•put my feet on the bottom of their rolly chair and pushed them around

•indulged them in a “magic trick” and then found a stupid loophole just to mess with them

•twanged a stretchy string with them (physics class)

•did that thing where you press down on a marker lying on a table to make it shoot forward, we had a battle of sorts

•crashed my chair into theirs like bumper cars

It’s honestly been great whether or not the feelings are mutual, shout-out to my physics lab partner for being an actual child with me lmao

[cartooness]

Bby Lav AU

OKAY SO

ME AND MY LOVE @thefearanddespair CAME UP WITH THIS AU LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO AND I JUST REALIZED I NEVER TRULY POSTED IT SO HERE IT IS. WARNING IT’S HELLA LONG.

PINK HOLY SHIT

 WHAT IF EVERYONE FOUND LAV AS A TODDLER

 INSTEAD OF BEING 14, SHE'S 4

 EVERYTHING IS THE SAME EXCEPT SHE'S 10 YEARS YOUNGER

 AS WELL AS ALL THE FRIENDS

 DECAN SINGS LULLABIES

 SHE IS ALWAYS HOLDING SOMEONE'S HAND

 PIGTAILS

 “The moon sings me to sleep every night”

“The MOON?”

“Yeah! He’s very nice, I love Moon uncle”

Lav to a friend as a 4yr old bby

 And she makes friends with mason when they're 7!!

 Super childhood friends to lovers

 Y E S

 And she's always sleeping in someone's room. She doesn't like being alone

 There is always a child's blankey in all the rooms for whenever she wants to sleep with someone

 Someone- Oh can I schedule an appointment on this day?

Hadley- Oh I'm so sorry but that day is taken. I can put you for... a week from now?

Someone- Alright.

 Hadley was actually just rocking lav to sleep.

 SO CUUUTE

 UMBRELLA DAD. THEY'RE TRUE DADS NOW. ALL OF THEM.

 LAV IS STILL POWERFUL AF

 Father’s Day is a BITCH for her lmao

 Ok so she's at like Vivi's house or apartment whatever, and she drops her off at HQ, and there's a giant roll of easel paper, taller than bby lav, with all her dad's on there

 AND THEY'RE TRYING NOT TO CRY

 Or failing in Decan’s case.

 Bby Lav gets a hold of Hadley’s umbrella wand.

Hijinks ensue.

 >:)))))))))

 ÒwÓ

 Otto has to literally YEET Hadley into the fucking sky to grab her, grab the wand, and float safely to the ground again.

 LMAOOOO

 Hadders- Othello. Throw me.

Otto- Um??

Hadders- JUST DO IT

 And then they’re floating down, and Hadley’s cradling the Bby in one arm, holding his umbrella up with the other.

 Like Eclipsa with Meteora lmao

 Y E S. I M LOVE

 If Lav can ever teleport, she and Decan could do the thing Glimmer and Angella do in that last episode of season 3.

 You know, the teleport and catch thing.

 SHE CAN. SHE CAN TELEPORT

 Decan flying after her and catching her and all that in his winged form. Or even Otto doing that!

 Y E S

 Hadley is subsequently freaking the fuck out on the ground.

 PLAYTIME WITH FUN PAPAS

 WITH WORRIED MOM

 “PUT HER DOOOOOWWWWWN!”

Otto proceeds to blow him a rather Loud raspberry lmao

 AND LAV GIGGLING LIKE CRAZY, "AGAIN, AGAIN!!!"

Otto- you heard the little lady!! Again!

 Hadley: “ARE YOU ACTUALLY JOKING ME???”

And Otto blows another raspberry. And makes a rather crude joke.

And Hadley is jusT O F F E ND

 LAV IS A VERY ACTIVE BABY

 THEY'RE ALWAYS CHASING HER THROUGH THE HOUSE OR AT PARKS AND STUFF.

 HER KITTY EYES ARE MORE IRRESISTIBLE THAN BEFORE.

 SHE STILL HAS BEANS AND PURRING

 Hadley: *Bitching at Otto*

Otto: “PBBPPBRBTBRBRPT!! Jeeez, Hadley, all that hot air you’re blowin’ is contagious, crack a window wont’cha?”

Hadley: *Pterodactyl screeching*

 LMAOOOOO

 Hadders- BUT MY BABY DOWN BEFORE I BEAT YOUR BUTT!!

Decan- MAKE US.

 Otto- SHE'S OUR BABY TOO, YA KNOW!

 Meanwhile Lav is enjoying the silly stuff her papas are fighting over and is thrilled of being tossed around. XD

 Decan’s just laughing and twirling and stuff. He’s all just “It’s fiiiiiine!”

 :OOOOOO

LAV IN KINDERGARTEN SHOWING ALL THE KIDS HER BIG ASS EXTENDED FAMILY.

 Lav’s presence just screams ‘Gay Rights’ to all the other little kids.

 Even if not all of the parents agree.....

They get told off

 Lav- And this is all my papas!! They all love each other very much.

The teacher- Lavender, sweetie, did you say that your "papas" all.... love each other?

Lav- Yeah!! Daniel and Cecil love each other. Decan and Otto love each other. Lewis, Vivi, and Arthur love each other. Merlin and Quentin love each other. And Percy and Hadley don't have love yet.

The teacher- *grimace*

Some kid- You're dad's are all *insert slur here*!!!

Lav- Stop, that's mean!!

Some kid- No it's not, it's true!!

And he gets shoved out if his desk.

And poor bby lav comes crying when they pick her up, explaining how all the kids made fun of her and her family.

 Hadley then calls in to the office when he picks her up from school that day.

 He has a few words XD

 A few.....very polite, very CHOICE words.

 And then he’s like to Lavender.

“Now, I’m not one to spoil children, but I do believe that an ice cream....or two....is warranted at a time like this.”

And that means a lot when HADLEY’S the one doing the treating. The responsible, rule-driven and sometimes strict parent.

 YES BIG LOVE.

 “Just....don’t tell anyone else. They’ll have me strung upon a wall, or....thrown in the stocks.”

Very old fashioned boi lmao

 Lav, a good girl, - Okay Papa Hadley!

 And she proceeds to eat two scoops of peaches and cream ice cream.

 Adorable.

 I know!!

AND COULD YOU IMAGINE? BABY MASON?

 They're in the same first grade class and they're table buddies!!!

 They probably have play dates all the time!!

 AND SHE MAKES HIM THINGS OUT OF MAGIC SOMETIMES

 7 year old Lav- Mason, Mason!!! Look what I can do!! *makes a pinecone out of magic*

7 year old Mason- :OOO THAT'S SO COOL LAV!!!!

 This is way too fucking cute, I can’t.

 Mason, showing his pinecone to Kyle, then Nicole, - NICKY, LOOK WHAT LAV MADE ME!!!!

Pre Transition Kyle- Woah! That's so cool!!!

Mason - I'm gonna keep it in my box of special things, where it'll be safe!!!

 BBY LAV PLAYING WITH OTTO AND DECAN’S NON-HUMAN PARTS?

Pointy ears, Tails, Wings, Dec’s Horns, Otto’s Fangs

 YES YES YES SHE WOULD

 “Woooow! You’ve got weally big teeth, Papa Otto!”

Or

“You have vewwy pwetty wings Papa Decan!”

 And they’re just....melting.

 I'M LOVE I'M LOVE

 OR PLAYING WITH DANIEL AND CECIL HAIR. OR ANYONE'S HAIR IN GENERAL

 Hadley’s super long and thicc hair lmao

 Y E S

 One day, Hadley's hair is just. Covered in hair accessories.

 And lav says to keep them in all day. And so he does.

 And it takes like half an hour to take all of them out lmaooo

 WHEN OTTO COMES HOME FROM LIKE TRAINING OR SOMETHING AND HE'S ALL BEAT UP, LAV AND DECAN CLEAN UP HIS WOUNDS, BUT LAV PUTS LIKE PRINCESS BAND AIDS ON ALL THE SCRATCHES AND STUFF.

Someone- Why do you have... girly band aids all over you?

Otto- the doctor said I had to keep these on and if I take them off I will die.

 He’s sitting in a chair, like, grumbling as Cecil and Daniel have to take them out.

ALSO ABSOLUTELY HE WOULD DO THAT!

 Big Masculine Buff Man.

Princess Bandaids. And they’re, like, his pride and joy.

 Awwww!!

 Best part of getting beat up. Lav gives him the Princess bandaids. He says they make him look badass.

Proud Papa.

 Cecil’s a fashion designer.

Bby fashion.

 :OOOOOOOOOOOO

 I D E A S

 YOU KNOW HOW LAV LIKES TO BE COMFY? SHE PROBABLY HAS A BUNCH OF CUTE SWEATERS THAT SHE WEARS ALL THE TIME

 ALL HER DADS LOVE HER TO BITS AND YOU WILL DIE IF YOU MESS WITH THEIR SHARED BABY GIRL

OMG. PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE THINGS.

 GASP. LAV LEARNING ABOUT THE LGBT COMMUNITY. SHE'S 4 INSTEAD OF 14 WHEN SHE LEARNS.

 Also YES all of that is über wholesome

 Otto goes and when people are, like, homophobic or whatever, he sorta lounges back, feet on the table, and does his sorta ‘Blow-Raspberry-Fart-Jokes’ routine that he loves so much at all the other people and they’d be like ‘Honestly this is an grown-up affair, why don’t you act your age you disgusting slob of a man’ and he’s just like ‘Really? Then why don’t y’all stop acting like a bunch of whiny children, whining about the 21st century? Then maybe I’ll treat y’all like adults and this meeting like something important. (Otto is the king of Fart Jokes lmao. He’s a big old child.

And terribly dad-like like that. It’s just one of the truths about him.)

 OMG IMAGINE MASONDER

 Okay so, they're both like, 12 I guess, and it's Lavender's birthday, and Mason gives her like, a really cute stuffed animal, and she Instantly Loves, and she gives him a big hug and a peck on the face.

 Cue awkward silence

 Everyone sees.YES EXACTLY

 Big old moment.

Baby’s First Kiss

 Mason, not knowing what to do, just returns the favor.

 And Lav is almost about to DIE FROM HER MASSIVE BLUSHING.  Mason's fucking. Avoiding all eye contact with everyone, and it's a very uncomfortable silence.

 And finally Lav breaks the silence by grabbing his face and kissing him.

EVERYONE IS LOSING THEIR SHIT

 Hadley, in the back of the room,

"IS THIS ALLOWED!?!?!? IS THIS ALLOWED!?!?!?

Emotional Moment.

And the supposedly steel-hearted Hadley finally breaks down crying. All that internal emotion becomes external emotion.

(And his makeup gets smudged, and it’s all crazy and emotional.)

Otto fucking SCOOPS Lavender up into his big, hairy arms and hugs her. All “HELL YEAH GIRL! How’d it feel!? What was it like?! I know he’s not as good a kisser as D-EEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAKKKK-an, but STILL!” He had that emotional bat-screech moment.

And Decan’s just a blubbering mess. All proud Daddy style. They grow up so fast and all that.

 Mason- ARE YOU ALL OKAY?!?! AM I IN TROUBLE?!?!

Vivi just cheers. Mama Bear style.

 And Lewis is all

"I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU HURT HER IN ANYWAY I WILL BREAK YOU: Mason, scared,- Y-yes sir. I'll um, I'll be good, I promise.

Hadley’s like that too. But a lot less overt.

And a lot more shadow-over-the-face serious.

 He pulls Mason aside for Tea, and has a full on discussion with him over it. Making for DAMN sure he knows what he’s getting into, and making damn sure that Mason has no intention of in any way fucking around and breaking her heart.

 Mason, at the end of it all,- Yes, sir, I understand. Am I free to go?

Hadley - Yes. But remember, I'm always watching. *does that I've got my eyes on you tea sip thing*

And he IS!

 The following week, Hadley pulls aside Lav and asks all about her and Mason. Plot twist is that he KNOWS. And is testing to see whether or not she reproduces what he’s already seen. To test wether or not she’s lying. And if she IS, Mason told her to lie and he’s bricked.

He’s terribly cunning like that.

 The following week, Hadley pulls aside Lav and asks all about her and Mason.

 Lav- Aw, I'm glad you asked! He's so cute, that Button. Anyway, we've been eating lunch together and we shared a cookie, um, we held hands a lot, what else, um, please don't be um, mad, but, um, we kinda..... fell asleep together while you were at work.

Hadders- Oh I know.

Lav- What?

Hadley: Lavender, Darling, you should know by now. I make it my business to know everything. The surname ‘Trivia’ doesn’t come for free.

He could easily pull an Eclipsa and cast some sort of All-Seeing-Eye.

Hadley doesn’t see limits when he’s protecting someone. He’s willing to go as far as it takes.

 Lav- Are you mad at me? I mean, we weren't doing anything, like, BAD, but still, if you don't want us to do that we'll stop.

 H: On the contrary! I’m very happy with you. You passed the test.

I was watching you both. The whole time. And I wanted to be sure that he hadn’t convinced you to lie to me if you were asked. Or, heaven forbid, you lie on your own will. And you didn’t lie at all!

Lav- Oh. Uh, cool! I guess! Also, he is a very good cuddle partner. Just thought I'd say that. Also his hair is really soft and it's fun to play with. And- *proceeds to ramble on about Mason lol*

 Hadley then just sorta sits down and conjures some coffee for himself.

She's in love, Hadley!!!! Yep lol

 And Ashley, on the other hand, is listening to a very happy mason go on about Lavender and it's adorable. He announced to Kyle (he had just transitioned) over the house phone about his new relationship with Lav and Kyle's so happy for him and, of course, teases a bit, but asks for all the details.

 They're Those (tm) friends who love info dumping about things they're passionate about.

Omg, imagine Lav going on and on about Mason to Decan and Otto. They’re just sorta babbling with her. Otto TRIES to give relationship advice but he’s just.... Terrible, it’s terrible advice lmao. He’s just trying.

And Decan’s laughing his li’l head off.

Decan, fanboying,- Oh my goodness, Peaches!! You guys are so CUTE!!!!! When's the wedding~~~

Lav- DECAN!!!!!! Ò//////Ó

 Decan - I'M JOKING. *mostly anyway, they still get married after college graduation*

 O: “K, you gotta try and outsmart him into letting you kill him! But you’ll find as you go that you’re actually falling for him and he’s falling for you too and it goes from there! And you can win him over with pick-up lines or fart jokes or by rapping for him as he sings along and I got notebooks for that sorta stuff if ya-“

D: *While laughing* “Otto, darling, c’mmoooooonnn! That advice sucks, not everybody falls for that crude humour and personality like I did, you know!”

O: “Psh! Oh yeah! Watch her try it and watch it work like a charm!”

D: “Oh yes, a charm, indeed.~ If your ‘embrace your inner animal’ way works then naturally my way would happen next, wouldn’t it? Soften you to mush and then claim that mush as mine.”

O: “Oh, ya li’l SCAMP! GET IN HERE!”

*Otto then proceeds to pull Decan in and noogie him between his horns as he laughs and kicks.*

 OMG THAT'S SO CUTE

Lav- Uhhhhh. I think I'll just. Go with the flow and maybe I'll try and kiss him again on Friday. Might bring a flavored lip gloss with me that day....

Decan- OOOH, SOMEONE HAS PLANS!!!!

Lav- DECAN, PLEASE!!!! ÒÒ///////ÓÓ

 ~~Otto got REALLY lucky finding someone as naturalist and oblivious to human sociality as Decan, let’s be honest, if ‘inner-beast’ crudeness and rude-fraternity-boy charm is his play style lmao~~

O: “Decan, we’re gonna be there and we’re gonna bring the MP3.”

D: “Love-songs, Yes? Can do.”

O: “Warm up those vocal chords!”

D: “Only if you warm up yours.”

O: “We’re gonna give them the best ambience EVER!”

D: “Historical. It shall be written down and carried down till the end of time!”

O: “HELL YEAH! VÁMONOS!”

 Lav- uh, you don't have to do that, it'll be like. Maybe after school? In the courtyard?

They’re, like, playfully pouty like ‘Fiiiiiiiiiiiine.’ But really they’re just happy for her.

 God, Otto and Percy are, like, the disaster parents for Lav. Especially for Bby lav.

Otto, especially, would absolutely ADORE Lav. I can’t speak entirely for Percy but I feel like they’d love her a whole bunch, but god, Otto absolutely adores Lavender.

 AWWWWW

Big, buff, tuff, ill-mannered-gentleman Vamp Dad and his li’l goddess.

 OMG HOLY FUCK NUGGETS YOU KNOW THAT THING? WHERE IT'S TWO ADULTS AND ONE BBY IN THE MIDDLE? DECAN, LAV, AND OTTO. Y E S. OR WITH ANY COUPLE ACTUALLY. AND THEN THEY SWING BBY LAV OVER LIKE CURBS AND STUFF AND AHHHH I'M SOMFT. SO CUUUTE!!!! OOH IN THIS AU, MASON AND LAV ARE STILL HELLA CUDDLY AND SNUGGLY. Gonna stop doing all caps lol. Anyway, masonder happens a bit earlier, but they've been friends for like 5 years at the time they are a Thing, so yeah haha. They are THE cutest thing ever. Always holding hands, face holding, sharing food, small pecks on the face, all that cute stuff uwu. They're in 7th grade btw. Both 12. They're relationship is steady and lasts all throughout middle school and high school. (Yes. They are the DEFINITION of an "Endgame Ship.") And then after they do the whole college thing, they tie the knot, have a baby, and live happily ever after uwu. :P

( This next bit is from a comic I did lol)

 QUENTIN GAVE HER THE KNIFE

Otto: “LAV, YOU CAN’T HAVE A KNIFE!!!

Have a crossbow, it’s much more powerful.” “Just don’t go staking papa Otto through the chest, now! It’s bad for me!”

 Lav- Oh cool! What about a sword! I'll be careful, I promise! And Hadley’s losing his mind lol Decan: *Does the moon butterfly magic sword thing*

“Here you are!” Bby Lav-

>:OOOOOOOO I'M GONNA KILL HOMOPHOBIC PEOPLE!!!

Hadley- Lav, honey, that's illegal.

Lav- But Mx. Percy does illegal stuff all the time!! Hadley: *Scoops Lavender up and Mary-Poppins flies the fuck out* YES

And that's what we came up with lmao

[midoriyas-tears]

A shit show of a bunch of random word documents I have

[travis x sal fic.doc]

(authors note- this is unfinished. made january 23rd, by me) fandom- sally face

Sal's lips softened into a light loving smile, feeling his boyfriend's body heat with his palm as the taller boy tangled his hands in Sal's hair. He ran his fingers through the light blue curls and tufts and clusters, trying to rid of any knots. Every time the blonde forced through something more severe, it followed with an "Ow" and a "I'm sorry," and then an " It's okay." And then a grin.

Being sat in his lovers lap, Sal began to lay back into his arms, comfortable. Travis lightly nudged him with two of his fingers, so that he can continue to mess with the others hair. Sal moved forwards. "Sorry." He mumbled, smiling at the freckled boy.

"You don't have to apologize.." Travis got through two or three tangles " You told me that you didn't get alot of sleep.. "

"Its fine. I'm not that tired." Sal would speak quietly. Though it was a bit of a lie. He could fall asleep at that moment if he wanted to. Travis adjusted the shorter boy's head to look up at him, and then bent to plant a short kiss on Sal's lips (It was frankly uncomfortable). "You look tired. Please sleep, babe." Travis sighed, and Sal nodded a 'no'-----. "Fine."

Travis knew little about hair. He didn't take care of himself much, and he never got close to any girls or anybody with a good deal of hair. He took a bunch of the blue locks and split it into three sections, like he had seen some girls do at lunch. Sal purred, closing his eyes.

He tried to remember what to do, until his head gave up and his hands unnatrually began to move around the strands. He undid it, restarting. "Ouch."

"Sorry, babe."

" Its fine. "

"Do you know how to braid hair, Travis?" He

When Travis shook his head, Sal moved, letting his body face Travis', but still sitting in his lap like usual. The taller boys freckled cheeks turned a tint of cherry at the position.

[rp starter.doc]

(authors note- its a roleplay starter. made january 29th, by me) fandom- bnha

After an array of cool weather, the air was pleasingly warm, and the sun shone brightly above, covered by puffs of clouds drifting over and swaying about in the sky. The sidewalk was populated with a short series of people, walking slow to the tone of the morning. In the midst of it all, Midoriya was walking to his new school, with his mother. He gripped onto her hand with one, and with tge other he held onto his plain blue backpack, which had a decorative Allmight chain hanging off of it. He really was obsessed, wasn't he? Izuku looked at his mom curiously as they entered the school, nearing the kindergarden classroom. This was a new school. It was exciting to him, so he smiled, but a set of nervous thoughts still crept over his small shoulders.

His mother bent down, getting on a knee and planting a soft motherly kiss on the boys forehead. "Have a good day, Izuku." She gave him a warm smile which he was happy to recognize. "Mommy will see you soon." She stood up, patting him on his fluffs of green hair and leading him into the classroom. Every other kindergardener stared at him briefly.

The teacher grinned at him. "This is Midoriya. Say hello to him."

They pointed to a table for him to sit, "Sit with (insert characters name)." (authors note- lmao)

He followed instructions

[rp starter 2.doc]

(authors note- simular to the last one. created febuary 10th, by me) fandom- bnha

It frankly was not an ideal day to be at the playground. The sky was blue, but was ashen and cloudy-- it would certainly rain soon. The playground was unpopulated and minerature, not featuring much equipment. And the only people there were himself and one or two other kids who didn't bother talking to him. Izuku didn't mind though. He clasped onto the swing he sat on, pushing himself back and forward with his legs. He moved slowly. After a while of swinging, he attempted to call out for his mother to push him, but she was distracted by a book.

Midoriya sighed, a bit defeated. He looked over at the seesaw, wondering if anyone would want to go on it with him. His eyes went to the back of a boy, who seemed about his age. He squinted at the features. Hey, was that Kachaan? He waved to him excitedly, grinning widely at the familiar face. "Hey! Hey!"

[rp starter 3.doc]

(authors note- this ones different. it was originally for a fic, but i copped out. i liked the idea so i made it a starter. kamisero. created march 10th, by me) fandom- bnha

Before he could fully evaluate the situation, Kaminari didn't take much mind to what he and his friends were doing. The freckled blonde sat beside two of his best friends, Mina and Sero, observing as Kirishima placed a half-full water bottle in the middle of the circle. The pink-haired female beside him clasped her hands together, grinning wildly. "Now, this is something I'm excited for"

It was only then, when Denki could realize what he was getting himself into. Sure, he was single. Sure, he was pansexual. He glimpsed over to Sero for a moment, feeling a light brush of pink tint over his cheeks. But if he refused to do it, he knew he wouldn't hear the end of it. Especially because Mina knew that Kami liked Sero.

"Before we start," Denki heard Kirishima begin to speak, sitting up, "You have seven minutes. You cannot forfeit unless you're going to shit yourself. I don't care if you're gay."

Denki gulped, and Mina playfully punched him in the arm. She knew why Denki was nervous. Mina suddenly seized The blonde's hand, placing it on th water bottle. "Kami, why don't you start? I mean, you didn't get to do much in truth or dare, so.."

Denki glared at her. Mina was his best friend, and he really appreciated her-- but she was really pushy with revealing all of his secrets. Not like she had ever done that, its just sometimes he wished Mina wasn't the /only/ person he could go to. "Yeah, sure."

He spun the bottle. And, he was taken back, when it landed on Sero. Fuck.

[sfg.doc]

(authors note- lmao this is drunk deku so yeah uhh hes obviously underaged so leave if you dont like that. also a roleplay starter. smh im on sham.chat alot. march 15th, by me) fandom- bnha

It wasn't particularly something he wanted to do. He /was/ underaged, with little experience with the substance. Izuku wasn't actually drunk,was he? He didn't drink too much, did he? Kirishima and Mina had hosted a party during the weekend, not to celebrate anything, just to- do it, I guess. Midoriya, though he had admittedly never been to a real one, came. He did get a loose invitation, after all. He didn't want to be rude and say he had plans, because he didn't.

Midoriya had been sitting on the couch, watching from distance as his classmates sat on the floor to play a game of spin the bottle, which he sat out in. Even if he wasn't sober, he didn't want to kiss his friends. He picked at a soda can with his thumb-nail, squinting while trying to open it. "Eeeh.."

[e.doc]

(authors note- last one. march 17th, also by me. roleplay starter, again. this is kindergarten todo, which i thought would be adorable. even though he probably wouldn't evem go to public school in my opinion) fandom- bnha

Frankly, Todoroki was surprised that his father even agreed with his mother, for once. Even at six, Shoto took notice of the unhealthy relationship his parents shared. He actually wasn't the happiest about going to a public kindergarten, instead of being homeschooled. Sure, he wouldn't have to see his mean father every day, atleast-- not as much. But he didn't usually talk to kids his age, if any at all. He didn't know what they would think of him.

It was the first day of kindergarten. Shoto walked by his dad, quietly. He was a bit unhappy by this, as he didn't want to make a scene in his classroom. His dad was a hero, after all. He didn't really want to be a hero. By how his dad pushed it upon him, it seemed like the hardest job ever. Todoroki didn't know what he wanted to be, but not something like that.

Surprisingly, Endeavor *didn't* go in the class. He stopped by the door, telling him to behave, then leaving, hastily. He didn't really care, though. Its not like he was going to talk to anyone. He sat in a random seat near the back, plopping his backpack next to his seat and watching as a plethora of six-year-olds came in through the door. One of them sat by him. He awkwardly avoided eye contact.

[lavieendonna]

Brushwork || ArtMajor!Calum - Chapter 27

Summary: An Art Major AU where Dallas - third year gawky art student at VCA -  makes a deal with Calum - her cute new neighbour and project partner - and they spend the semester learning that the perfect masterpiece takes a whole lot of brushwork.

Date: 15 February 2019 Requested: lol     Pairing: Calum + Dallas Words: 4K Warnings: as always, Dallas has a fucking potty mouth.  A/N: Here we go, first update of the year! And just in time for the day after Valentine’s Day ahahahaha I'm so shit lmao anyway, I hope you like this. I have been trying to pump this chapter out for literal months. In that time, though, there has been a small revival of this story with some new readers so I guess, this chapter is dedicated to you guys! There’s only a couple more chapters left in this story, but fear not as I have already begun the next in the series - make sure to head over and check out the Ashton spin-off ‘Snapshot’ and let me know what you think. Thanks so much, guys, you keep me motivated!

Big Love xo

Ask | Masterlist | ‘Brushwork’ Spotify Playlist | Next Chapter | ‘Brushwork’ News | ‘Snapshot’

Chapter 27: I Did What I Could to Supress the Urge to Smother Myself and Stretched Out My Aching Bones Until They Cracked.

The first thing I felt, as soon as I was conscious enough to know I was still alive, was relief. I hadn’t realised how much weight needed lifting from my shoulders until that first five minutes after waking up in my old bedroom at my mother’s house – and to feel that in a place that used to bring me nothing but anxiety and grief was something like a Christmas miracle. And it was only October!

“Hey loser, are you getting up today?”

Isabelle leaned into the room, hair looking much like mine but, you know, nicer in every conceivable way. Her eyes weren’t as puffy as hey had been the last few days, and her cheeks had more colour in them than I’d seen since, probably, Liesel’s engagement.

“I’m not a loser.” I croaked out, much more man-ish than my sister would ever sound in her life. But, regardless, she snorted unattractively the way only a James woman could and even through squinty eyes and without my glasses, I knew she was rolling her eyes at me.

“You’re twenty-two years old, sleeping in your childhood bedroom at nine on a Saturday morning, and your mum is probably cooking your breakfast for you as we speak.” Belle said very matter-of-factly. “You’re definitely a loser. Come on, Mum said she wants to talk.”

“At nine in the morning?!”I whined and I was met with a pillow to my head before she called out something unintelligible through the walls.

With a small sigh I heaved myself out from under the covers. The thought of my mother wanting to talk even more than we had was making my stomach do flips, but I did what I could to supress the urge to smother myself and stretched out my aching bones until they cracked.

Belle was right; Mum was flipping bacon when I padded into the kitchen. She was wearing the same red apron from last night but this time over a pair of light-wash skinny jeans (that I wasn’t even aware she owned) and a slightly oversized burgundy plaid shirt. Naturally her hair was already brushed to perfection, the long dark waves tucked behind her ears, and somehow her lips were a bolder shade of red than they were yesterday. She looked more relaxed than I had ever seen her. Probably including when we were kids.

“Help your sister set the table.” She said with a smile and not a hint of condescension. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

I swallowed the anxiety and let myself bask in the rare warmth my mother was radiating for a little while longer.

“Good morning to you too, mother.” I said cheekily through a yawn. She just rolled her eyes at me and gestured toward the breakfast condiments sitting in a tray on the counter. I chuckled lightly to myself as I picked it up and dragged my feet through the kitchen and into the dining room where Belle was setting out cutlery.

“Do you have any idea what this is about?” I asked her with an arched brow and she just made a face.

“Do I ever?” She scoffed and I gave a small chuckle.

“Seriously, though,” I said a little more seriously, putting the tray down in the middle of the table between the places Belle had laid the placemats. “What do you think it is?”

Belle just shrugged, and I got a weird tingle in my stomach again as I watched my sister lack interest in whatever my mother had running through her brain gears. I knew that she was probably worried in her own way, but the way Belle held herself together made me wish that I could do that too.

We finished setting up without much more conversation and just as Belle lay down the last of the napkins, Mum came hurrying in with a pan of bacon in one hand and a plate of eggs in the other. I quickly put extra placemats down on the table for her to rest them on and she disappeared for a brief moment once again to fetch a plate of toast while Belle went back for glasses and orange juice.

“Dig in, ladies!” Mum said with delight, more chipper than I’d ever seen her. I glanced over to Belle when she wondered back in and she was giving me the same incredulous look, both of us then turning back to our mother.

“Mother,” Belle took the lead (which I prayed and thanked the Lord for), sitting quickly and loading her plate with an arched brow. “Penny for your thoughts?”

Mum chuckled and while it was a nice sound, it didn’t really make me feel better. Have I ever mentioned I didn’t do well with the unknown? I started to pour the juice to keep my hands busy enough to not tremble.

“I was getting there.” The woman rolled her eyes as she took to buttering herself a piece of toast. “But since you two are so patient –” she shot us both a look that almost terrified me out of my skin. “– I have a proposition for you.”

Usually my mother saved her big words for court, so her use of the term ‘proposition’ kind of unnerved me. But she smiled as she said it, and not in an evil or scheming way either which meant we weren’t being put on trial for whatever was on her mind.

Belle and I sat and chose to say nothing this time, not even looking at each other (or Mum for that matter). I had the feeling that whatever was making my mum this happy was going to be worth hearing without my input or smart remarks, or anything that might ruin it for her and put us back where all of this shit started.

“I know that you girls have…” Mum paused briefly to clear her throat. “You’ve had it tough the last few weeks, between school and your…  your friends.”

I shot Isabelle a glare – she’d clearly told my mother about what happen with Polly, though I wasn’t exactly sure when. It wasn’t that I was never going to tell my mum or anything like that, I just wasn’t in the mood to retell the story of my fallout with Polly over and over again. Because with my mother, you could never tell her a story just once. She needed to hear all of the ins and outs of every angle imaginable. She’d ask me to get inside Polly’s head and tell her Polly’s exact thoughts at the time of the incident and that kind of sorcery was just beyond my paygrade.

Nonetheless, B just shrugged at me without so much as a hint of guilt and I was reduced to sulking in silence while Mum continued.

“And I’m not saying I enjoy knowing my girls are struggling, but I do think this is a good chance for me to do something that I will benefit from just as much.”

I blinked at my mother’s choice of words between chews.

“Uh, I’m sure it wasn’t your intention to sound at all patronising or like you have shitty parenting skills, Mum, but um...” I offered a sidelong look. “But that sounded really patronising and like you have shitty parenting skills.”

“Language!” She scolded me. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Come on, Deej,” Belle smirked. “I’m sure whatever she’s trying to say has someredeeming qualities.”

And for that Mum reached over and slapped my sister upside the head. I smirked at that one, it was about time someone slapped B for her mouth. I was just sorry it wasn’t me.

“Will you two knock it off?” Mum rolled her eyes at us, taking a sip from her juice whilst simultaneously glowering at us over the glass. “I’m trying to do something nice for us all.”

“Sorry, Mum.” We chimed like kindergarteners and Mum just straightened her shoulders again and puffed her chest smugly like she was sitting on the juiciest piece of news anyone would ever hear.

“If you’d like – if it makes things easier for you both – you can move back in with me.” She said, not exactly in a frank ton, but it was straight to the point and blunt enough to stun both B and I into speechlessness.

“It’s not ideal, I know, but… I want for you to know that while you’re figuring out your next steps – whatever they may be – you can always come here… come to me. And whether or not its long or short term is up to you. Dallas, I know you had your heart set on Saint Kilda for your last year, and Isabelle I know your housemate is a pain in your ass. At least this way, you can stay here comfortably without worrying about anything else until you need to, you know? And I get to spend more time with you both and actually be part of your lives in your twenties.”

Mum smiled encouragingly at her daughters and it was really, really hard not to smile back. It wasn’t often that Mum offered these kinds of things without needing some kind of collateral or compensation for her time and suffering. Almost the whole time I’d been at VCA she always had some kind of ulterior motive, but I knew this time wasn’t going to be like that. There was something in Mum’s eyes that glistened with something like hope or peace or maybe it was genuine happiness. Whichever way, it was nice.

“What do you reckon?” Mum prompted hopefully. I didn’t even hesitate when I stood from my seat and circled to over to Mum, enveloping her into a hug.  

“Thanks, Ma.” I whispered lowly in her ear as she reached up as much as she could to squeeze me back. Belle joined us not a moment later, giggling just a little the way she always did when she was happy.

“You’re the best, you know that?” She told Mum and it just made her laugh as we let go and went back to our seats.

“Oh, I know.” She winked at Belle with cheek.

“Honestly, Ma.” Belle smiled. “Nancy is the worst, she doesn’t even let me smoke dope in the house.”

“Isabelle Rosella!”

Aside from B trying to give my mother a stroke, breakfast went well. There were no more emotional heart-to-heart conversations and not a whole lot of tension. After Mum got through her half-hour long speech about the dangers of marijuana – even the medical kind! – we cleaned up and washed the dishes by hand like old times. It was nice, and for a minute it was like it wasn’t our problems that had brought us together.

While Mum and Belle mucked around I decided they could do without my help (or lack thereof, to be honest) and excused myself to take a shower. Even though it was barely ten thirty in the morning, it’d been a long day. I didn’t feel drained, as such, but there was just something about the conversation over breakfast that made me feel like I needed to wash off the last of my dirt. Not that moving back in with my mother would ever be the last of my dirty laundry, hell no. I was a deeply flawed human being, there was always going to be some kind of crisis going on in my life.

That being said, if I did move back in with my mother then there was also the chance that it would make it easier to deal with said crises. Hell, maybe I could even confide in my mother about them. Living back at home with her would mean that whatever happened between now and my next step, at least there was an actual place that could feel like home to take the edge off.

The water was scalding hot and practically burnt the skin off of my back. I let the water run over me and through my hair and watched the water go from murky to clear for what felt like forever. I could have spent my whole life in there if I thought it would have fixed anything.

Tilting my head back, I let the water run through my hair again and felt the weight of the heavy locks pull gently at my skull. Water was running into my eyes but I did what I could to keep them open. I didn’t want to spent a lot more of my life with my eyes shut, and maybe that was out of paranoia or self-preservation. But a lot of it was because even though this part of my life was somewhat resolved, things with Calum weren’t and it was still weighing heavy on my mind.

I shuddered at the reminder of how shitty things between Calum and I still were, shutting off the shower in a huff and grabbing the towel that was hanging over the side of the shower to cover my face quickly. I pushed the fabric as far into my eye sockets as I could, trying to push the image of Calum walking away from me out of my mind. When that didn’t work I wrapped the towel around me and sat myself down on the floor, putting my head between my knees in an effort to get ahead of the panic attack I could feel rising in my gut.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, but apparently it was long enough for my mother to come looking.

“Dallas?” She called through the door. “Dallas, honey, are you alright?”

I gasped, sitting upright quickly with wide eyes and my heart racing.

“I’m –!” I sniffled, only now aware that I was crying. “Mum, yeah I-I’m fine!”

It didn’t matter, she was already creaking the door open to find me curled up on the floor.

“Hey! Hey… Honey, what… what’s wrong?” She came in, shutting the door quickly behind her before she dropped to her knees in front of me, hands reaching for my face immediately.

“What? I’m…” I spluttered for my words as Mum’s piercing eyes stared me down, deeply set with worry.

I thought about lying, but as what seemed to be the case lately, something in my mother's eyes told me that she wasn't going to accept anything but the truth.

"You can tell me, Dallas." She said softly, wiping at the stray tears still leaking from the corners of my eyes, and taking the corner of my towel and dabbing my cheeks with it. "What happened?"

I heaved a sigh, my chest feeling tight as I dreaded saying the words out loud.

"It's Calum." I said simply, still trying to figure out the best way to say what I was feeling. Mum frowned, suddenly a little scared (or so it looked, anyway).

"What did he do?" She asked immediately concerned. "You're not pregnant, are you?"

"What?" I frowned. "No! Jesus, Mum, why... no!"

"Oh, thank god." Mum breathed a heavy sigh of relief, hand over her heart as she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. "I am waytoo young to be an Abuela."

I rolled my eyes. Mum had never really shown much connection (or interest, really) to our Hispanic lineage, but the minute she thought the first of her Grandkids were on the way she was an 'Abuela'. Talk about typical.

Honestly, it wouldn't have surprised me if she was secretly fluent in Spanish all along and could trace our ancestors back for centuries. It seemed like the kind of thing she would know and never tell anyone until she needed to brag.

Pregnancy scares aside, that wasn't what I was worked up about. I heaved another sigh, chomping on the inside of my cheek as I tried to push pass the complete humiliation piercing me straight through the soul.

"He, um." I cleared my throat. "Calum and I aren't speaking at the moment. We had a fight a while ago and some shit went down with our mural at the reveal last week."

My bottom lip trembled, and I felt like I probably looked a lot like a four-year-old trying to pull Puppy Dog Eyes for attention.

"What kind of shit?" Mum took to asking, and I tried to suppress the shock when she didn't immediately jump to conclusions. "What did you fight about?"

I winced at the memory of the complete shit show of a first date that Calum and I went on. it seemed like it was so long ago or in a whole different time. I'd been through so much in the matter of only a week that I already felt like I was a different person back then - I felt like the phrase 'back then' was warranted because of how distant it all seemed. But the reality was that it had all happened so fast - it was still happening, technically. And I had no idea how to fix any of it. All I could do was sit on the bathroom floor and cringe.

"We, uh. We went on this date." I began the long story. "And it was going great; we went to watch our friend Luke perform at this bar. But Ashton and Isabelle showed up, and at first it was fine but then Belle and I had this argument and then Pollyshowed up and things got worse and it just... the whole night turned to shit."

I'd managed to avoid looking at my mother's face for a while, but at the mention of fighting with my sister made me feel like I needed to sneak a peek. I glanced, her brow arching, and I could tell that she wasn't exactly following along.

"Hold on, why were you and your sister fighting?" I cringed again, not sure how to approach the explanation without accidentally stealing Belle's coming out like some kind of monster.

"She... was mad at me." I said vaguely. "Her and Polly felt like I'd been telling lies about them to our friends."

"And had you?" She asked.

Once again, I was pleasantly surprised that Mum was actually listening to everything I had to say before she offered any kind of interpretation or advice. She wasn't even interrupting me at all! It truly was a Christmas Miracle.

“I… Not intentionally.” I admitted.

There was something about accepting the fact that I’d actually done something wrong that made me feel a little bit better about myself as a person. It was one thing to know that I was a deeply flawed person but, like, for comic relief, but it was a whole other thing to know that I was capable of hurting people and to be willing to do what I could to rectify that.

“Calum was just trying to help, but I think I pushed him too far this time.” My voice was so small and quiet I wasn’t even sure it was mine. “All he wanted to do was show me that he cared about me but I… I freaked out and I pushed him away because it was easier than letting him get involved, you know?”

I sniffled again, a fresh batch of tears welling in my eyes as I finally said the words out loud that I’d been avoiding. Because it was true, I really had probably pushed Calum too far. And I doubted there was a lot left for me to do to fix it.

“Well, my girl,” Mum exhaled deeply, patting my thigh with one hand and lifting my chin with the other so she could look me in the eye with a soft, yet pointed, look. “You wanna know what I think?”

I wiped my nose ungracefully on the back of my hand but nodded. A small smile twitched on the corners of Mum’s red lips, but it was only for a fraction of a second.

“You haven’t got a chance of getting him back if you’re crying on the floor.”

I blinked dumbly at the words Mum had just said. They were brutal and slightly offensive words but she’d said them with such love and encouragement that I was actually kind of confused and, almost, a little overwhelmed.

“Uh… what?” I stammered and Mum just shrugged, wiping at my cheeks again with her thumbs.

“Seriously, Dallas, look at you.” She said simply. “I love you, I do. But Calum doesn’t need you to grovel on your knees and weep about how he’ll never forgive you. The reason you are in this mess is because, by the sounds of it, you were trying to make everybody’s decisions for them. You can’t decide how people should feel about other people, and you can’t decide that you don’t want them involved in your life and your problems. People like Calum… they want to be involved, that’s their whole thing. They want to be there for you and they want to show you. And it’s your job to not be selfish and just… let them.”

I knew she was right because I felt stupid.

“Your father was like that, you know.” Mum continued a little softer. I perked up at the mention of him, glancing up to Mum and watched as her entire face softened and her shoulders relaxed. She didn’t really bring up my Dad in conversations on her own that often.  There was a small smile hiding in the kiss of her lips and it was such a sight, to see how much love she still had left in her eyes for that man.

“Really?” I asked, and Mum nodded.

“Oh, yeah. When we first started going out – dating or whatever kids call it now – I was very closed off and I tried to pick and choose what parts of my life he knew about, what things he did or didn’t know about me. But he wasn’t having any of it, he needed to know that I was in it as much as he was. And for him to really know that I was… that I felt the same, I had to find it in me to let him in. All the way. You need to do the same with Calum, Dal. He’s… he’s special. And he needs to know that you think so.”

I didn’t have much to say to any of that, so I just pulled Mum as close to me as I could and squeezed. She laughed and I could feel the vibrations rumbling through her chest, the sound warming me from the inside out.

“Do you know what you remind me of, Dallas?” She asked me as she pulled herself up off the floor with a grunt before taking my hands and lifting me up too.

“What’s that?”

We both turned to look into the mirror at our reflections, Mum’s arm snaking around my waist as she pulled me close to her, reaching in front of me with her other hand to tuck my wet hair behind my ears.

“You remember the that stained-glass window we used to have in the back door of the conservatory?” She asked and I cocked my eyebrow at her.

“The one with the butterfly that smashed when Belle and I put a softball through it?” I still remembered that day very vividly – it was the only time where Dad had been the one to really punish us. He only grounded us, and it was only for a few days, but it was the most terrifying few days of our short 8 years of life. Mum laughed and nodded.

“Yes, that one.” She confirmed with a smile and I just frowned even more, failing to understand the resemblance.  

“I remind you of a window?”

Mum rolled her eyes.

“The butterfly.” She stressed and I made a face until she clarified her thoughts into words. “You’re so sensitive, Dallas. But you’re so, so beautiful, even when you’re broken.”

[day6imagines]

Kindergarten Rules.

@anonymousfangirl08  asked:

Can I request a fluff with Sammy, where Jae is my brother and he's kind of protective but approves of us anyway? 😂 Thank you in advanced

(the subs(?) have nothing to do with this lmao i just wanted a gif with Sammy and Jae)

member: Sammy x reader and older brother Jae

genre: fluff

word count: 1.3k 

summary:  You and Jae had a rule ever since kindergarten that you could never ‘like like’ each other's friends. But Kim Woosung was an exception ... right?

You could feel your heartbeat in your chest and with every shaky breath, you got more nervous. You could barely even drink your latte because of how much your hands were shaking. You were nervously awaiting the arrival of your older brother Jae. You decided to meet him at the coffee shop close to his rehearsal studio. This wasn’t how you guys normally met up considering how close you both were. you normally didn't plan to meet and would just hang out at each other's apartments but today was different because today you would be telling Jae about your current boyfriend. And there were two main reasons as to why you were so nervous.

The first being that all your past relationships have ended badly, always with you left broken hearted and turning to your brother who is also your best friend for comfort. It all started with your first boyfriend in high school who completely stole your heart and broke it five weeks later when you found out he cheated on you. You were in such a mess and didn't go to school the next day, that evening Jae came home with cuts and bruises on his knuckles. At first, you flipped and were so angry with Jae but once you realised that he this was his way of protecting you, you calmed down. Ever since then when you’ve always gone to Jae after a breakup and ranted with him. This way you got it out and felt much better and Jae didn’t go after your boyfriends because he’s too busy looking after you. Your past relationships made Jae very overprotective and he never approved of your boyfriends.

The second reason you were so nervous to tell Jae about your relationship was that the boy you were dating was one of his best friends Woosung who also went by Sammy, You and Jae had a rule ever since kindergarten that you could never ‘like like’ each other's friends. This has proven hard over the years considering you guys were only a year apart and shared a lot of mutuals friends. You both agreed that it would be awkward and would cause problems after a breakup if you dated each other's friends. But you and Woosung couldn’t help how you felt.

You met Woosung at Jae's apartment when you showed up unexpectedly with a box set of ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’, a large pizza and news about one of your good friends getting engaged. You were feeling down and a bit jealous of your friend so you decided to go see Jae who you weren’t expecting to have guests.

“Oh sorry, I didn't know Jae was having guests over! I’ll let you guys continue with your night.”

“No, stay. Jaes out getting food and its only me here you aren’t interrupting anything. I’m woosung by the way.”

“Ah, Woosung I’ve heard about you. I’m Y/N.”

“Jae's sister?”

“The one and only.”

You and Woosung sat down next to each other and instantly hit it of. You both had a lot in common and he was easy to talk to. He made you forget that you were upset and why you were there in the first place. You both were laughing about something and you didn't hear your older brother walk in. He was surprised to see you there and also in such a good mood because he had heard about your friend and expected you to be feeling down and seeking his comfort not for you to be clutching your stomach from laughing so hard. He was overcome with emotions. He was happy to see you happy but angry that you were getting close to one of his close friends as well as slightly irritated because it was his job to cheer you up not Woosungs.

“Hey Y/N! Hey uh, Woosung can you come with me to get plates?”

“Yeah, sure!”

Once the boys left you still felt on a high from Woosung. It’s been a very long time since someone could make you that happy and it scared you. Woosung came back into the room surprisingly without any plates and sat down on the opposite side of the couch. Weird. Jae was soon to follow him with plates and cutlery and sat in between you both. The night continued as if nothing weird happened and you had a great time with your brother and Woosung who was a little quieter for the rest of the night.

The next few days after that night you couldn't get Woosung off your mind. You couldn't wait to see him and talk to him again but you didn't know when that would happen. You were thinking all this on your way to your favourite coffee shop near campus. Once inside and coffee ordered you scanned the shop in search of an empty table or fellow student you could sit with.

“Y/N?” You turned around and saw the one and only Woosung sitting at a table by himself. He was wearing perfectly ripped jeans and a black bomber jacket. He smiled up at you causing your heart to melt. “Do you wanna sit?”

“Yeah thanks!” There was a slightly awkward silence until you broke it. “So, I’m just going to say it cause if I don’t I'll regret not saying and if I do I’ll still regret it but Woosung, I like you like I know that it seems sudden considering we just met but give me the chance to get to know you?”

“Wow i- well, to be honest, I like you too but Jae made it clear that he wasn’t cool with me getting close to you the other night and Jaes my best friend but I wanna get to know you Y/N. I’m really confused at the moment.”

“Jaes just worried about me. How about we see what this is and if we think it could be serious we tell Jae. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Weeks turned into months of being with Woosung and it was finally the day to tell Jae and that's why you were so nervous. Jae could be unpredictable at times but he always wants what's best for you and you truly believe that Woosung was that and that's all that matters at the end of the day.

Jae entered the coffee shop and flashed you a smile. He ordered his usual and sat down across from you.

“So you had something important to tell me.”

“Yeah… I do.” Jae could sense your nervousness and began to panic.

“What happened?! You’re not pregnant are you?!”

“Jae no calm down… well, I guess I’ll just say it. Woosung and I are in a relationship and have been for a few months now. I know we had a rule against dating friends but it’s pretty serious and he makes me happy.”

“That’s it?”

“Did you even hear me? What do you mean that's it?

“Well we all knew, his members and mine including me, You guys weren't really that good at hiding it. We all made bets on how long it would take for you to tell me. I know owe Wonpil a meal. Great.”

“Wait seriously?”

“Yep.” Jae then dropped the conversation and began talking about their upcoming comeback and ideas for Jaesix season two. You both stayed there until closing and Jae walked you back to your apartment.

“NIght Jae. Text me when you get home safe.”

“Will do oh and Y/N?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m happy for you both, a tiny bit hurt you didn't tell me sooner and I’m sorry if I came across as too protective I just want what's best for you and I believe that Woosungs good enough for my little sister and if he even thinks of breaking your heart I’ll kill him”

“Don't worry he won't.”

“I know.”

[purplesurveys]

361

Who did you last kiss? My girlfriend, as always.  Ever had your heart broken? Sure, whether it be by love or otherwise. What's the first thing you ate today? Chicken nuggets from McDonald’s. They’ve got a new cheesy jalapeño dip too and they work sooooooo well. Why did you last lie? I never want my orgmates to worry about me so I always tell them I’m doing okay. Has someone told you they loved you today? Nope. 

Why did you last cry? Just things and depression. Do you believe in miracles? No. What do you put on your hamburgers? I always just order burgers and never make them myself, but I always like my burgers to have bacon, caramelized onions, some mayo dip, and jalapeño. What is something you're looking forward to? Nothing at this point in time. It’s all about surviving the holidays and post-holidays for now. Have you ever been depressed? See previous answers. Are your grades good? Yes. I know I did better this semester compared to the last, so I’m not too worried about my grades. Do you use too much conditioner? Yes but that’s because my hair’s perpetually dry and damaged and I have to apply a lot of conditioner every time I wash my hair. How often do you exercise? Never. Who do you want to be with right now? Gab, over and over. Are you jealous of anyone? I get jealous of random people and random situations every now and then, but I’m not really feeling it right now. Have you ever been called fat? Just my mom, which I don’t understand because I know I’m skinnier than most. Just wants to make me feel bad I guess. Are you clumsy? Very. Does life matter to you? Some important things do. For the most part I don’t get the point. Do you try hard? I guess you can say that. I’m here anyway; it would be pointless not to do anything. Do you sleep with your door closed? Yes, having it open is one of my pet peeves. I need it to be completely dark when I’m falling asleep/sleeping. Are you afraid of the dark? See previous answer. Is there anyone you'd die for? Close friends, my girlfriend, her family. Who do you think cares the most about you? Gabie. Ever been in a car accident? Yes, but just super minor ones. What's your favorite thing about summer? The beach, but also when it ends. I enjoy summer as much as I enjoy Christmas. Do you have a best friend? I’m lucky to have a couple. How loud do you like to play your music? Depends on my mood. Sometimes I just want background noise, but there are also times I want to drown out the rest of the world. What do you do when you're pissed off? Also depends on what I feel like doing, whether it’s forcing myself to sleep, binge-eating, or binge-watching something. But for 100% of the time I’ll be quiet. How old do you wish you were? 30. Like I just want to fast forward to the time I’m happy. What's the best advice you've ever been given? I don’t really believe in advice. Who's someone that can always make you laugh? Aya. I’m going to miss her when she graduates. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Never have, actually. How do you celebrate Christmas? Family goes to mass, we have a huge dinner, we open presents, and a couple of relatives would host parties. Very traditional. Do you regret anything? I don’t believe in storing regrets. Have you ever sent a dirty picture? Sure. Are you selfish? In some aspects, and only when I believe that it’s valid to think of myself. What's your status on Facebook? I deactivated Facebook for the rest of the year because I hate everyone on that damn website and only stay on it cos all schoolwork is done there. Are you mean? I can be if I want to. Do you judge people often? No. But if I hear nasty stories about someone from a friend, then yeah I’d typically judge them beforehand. Have you been outside today? I haven’t been outside since Sunday and that’s exactly how I want it to be. I was on the go for 7 days a week all semester and I’ve never been so happy to miss out on the outside world for just this break. When's the last time you left your house? ^ Sunday. What did you do last night? I just binge-watched PewDiePie, wrote on my journal, and worked on my coloring book. How much makeup do you wear daily? None of it. What would you do if you found out you were pregnant? Panic and try to figure out where/who it came from. Have you ever had unprotected sex? I don’t need to protect myself lmao. Do you play The Sims? I used to. Do you think Justin Bieber is gay? Lmfao I can tell how old this survey is just from this question. Internet culture was so problematic back then. Do you attend church regularly? I’m essentially forced to. How many pokes do you have on Facebook right now? Yep, old survey. I don’t even pay attention to Facebook lmao does the poke buttom still exist?? How many people are on chat right now on Facebook? What's at the center of your dining table? Centerpieces. Three wooden vases with artificial flowers and other similar decor. Do you eat macaroni with a fork? Sure. I can eat macaroni with either a spoon or fork. Can you dance well? Not a damn chance. Have you ever started a rumor? I never cared for rumors. Have you ever been bullied? Yeah, to some extent. People in kindergarten and grade school really took it far when it came to something as simple as my name. I thought I was a boy for years and resented my parents for a while for giving me what I believed at a time a stupid first name. What's life’s hardest obstacle in your opinion? “Survival will not be the hardest part / It’s keeping all your hopes alive when all the rest of you has died,” courtesy of Paramore. Can you snap your fingers? Only with my right hand. Any last words? Meh.

[v-le]

Ktravels/Klife: Halfway through it all / 첫 학기 끝 !

Foreword: I am almost done! I am almost done with my first semester at Yonsei… damn.

I honestly cannot believe that time flew by so fast. I’ve mentioned this before, but I had been thinking about studying abroad for over a year before coming here. And now that I am about halfway through with this experience… damn, I just have no words. Jk I do, which is why I’m writing this right now lol.

My favorite parts about Korea so far: it is my emotional, musical wonderland. More on that later, but… it’s heart-warming to hear so many of my favorite, treasured artists occasionally on the streets or in a café. And no, not K-pop lol I know nothing about K-pop anymore. In terms of café culture, it’s a love and hate relationship because some of them are just so expensive sigh. BUT, after going to so many different cafes like all around Seoul, I have come to actually have specific preferences for what constitutes a gr8 café (for studying specifically bc that’s all my friends and I mostly do at cafes anyway LOL) hehe:

AFFORDABLE!! No normal person should be paying like 7 or 8 bucks for a goddamn coffee. Base price for drinks should be around 5,000 won. If their iced caramel macchiato costs more than 5,500 won, the place is too expensive.  If it’s less than 5,000 won,

Reasonable cup sizes! Or better, LARGE ONES! (안녕, 낯선 사람 in hongdae has some super bang-for-your-buck coffee drinks, the best I’ve seen!! :^))

Music that isn’t too loud

OUTLETS. OUTLETS ARE A MUST.

Plentiful seats so that it’s never too packed & large-enough tables

Nice temperature (aka not too cold in the winter, not too hot in the summer)

You can sneak in outside food & eat it blatantly even if there are signs saying not to, and no one will ever say anything

Not too crusty: cozy, but clean

A nice, well-maintained bathroom

It may seem impossible to find the perfect café that could meet all of these expectations, but honestly there are just SO many cafes in seoul, that if you search hard enough or have enough luck, some will be out there somewhere :^)

ALSO can I address the business turnover rate here?? Is this why Seoul is considered a fast-paced city?? So many times, my friends I have tried to go to cafes or restaurants or stores we’ve seen online or found on Kakao/Naver Maps, only to arrive and discover that THEY’RE GONE. Even if I did thorough research and found a blog post of a place from 2 months prior, the place is just POOF, disappeared into thin air. This has literally happened countless times and we are flabbergasted each time LOL. As limited as the database of 맛집’s and cafes already is online, the Internet & maps can’t even keep up to date with information either. Businesses open up so randomly fast, too it’s crazy… Mangoplate, the supposed “yelp” of Korea honestly is not that useful either LOL it usually has places on the pricier side, it is also not always up to date, and I just feel like Seoul/Korea has way too many places & businesses worth trying that they can’t even all fit into one database. There are just so many of those un-documentable places. So I suggest: find a neighborhood, go with your friends, take a stroll around the place, and try to stumble upon a place of your liking. Unless you can read Korean & utilize naver blogs (slightly more extensive and useful than mangoplate but still not 100% reliable all the time), then walking around is probably your best bet rather than attempting to do research online. Trust me.

Hmm what else is there… It’s really nice to be able to get/buy anything pretty easily, with convenience. I am afraid I will get too used to this once I go back to the states.

I think once the work started to pick up later in the semester, I definitely started falling into a routine of going to my morning class & then leaving sinchon to run errands elsewhere in Seoul, or simply doing work in the business building which quickly became my go-to spot because 1) outlets, 2) can eat food 3) very nice facility, literally sparkling 4) on campus. It kinda hurts to think that this short-lived routine will be over quite soon, but maybe next semester will be a little more exciting.

Although I haven’t been speaking as much Korean as I would like to, I do feel like my Korean has improved to an extent: (very slightly) vocab-wise, reading-wise, and writing-wise. It is honestly SO refreshing to finally be learning Korean in a formal, classroom setting. It honestly makes me regret not doing it sooner. Why did I lock myself up in my room for 8 years and only settle for learning on my own?? Sigh, it’s okay. I can only get better from here, right? As much as I hate the timing of KLI, I still really do enjoy the class nonetheless and I feel some sort of… growth? I appreciate how all my background knowledge of Korean has helped me up to this point as well. That at least, I can be proud of lol.

With languages and culture in general, throughout the semester, for the first time ever, I got to reflect on how valuable languages are. It is so interesting; I’ll try my best to explain my realizations, but it might come out as gibberish in the end… I really think anyone that has been born & raised in the US should spend a prolonged amount of time abroad. As homogeneous of a society Korea is, being here has opened my eyes to the global society. The society in which multiculturalism is embraced, there is no one correct language of communication, and every member listens to the various cultural values of one another without judgement. I never thought of English as being a powerful language. In fact, I honestly think I have been taking English for granted. I have never realized the immensity of the English language, how the rest of the world vies to master it, and how I have been blessed to have grown up with English as my native tongue. But on the flip-side, learning other languages is just as worthwhile. Communicating in a different language is literally honing a different perspective, mentality, and set of values. You can try to translate target languages into your native tongue for ease of comprehension. Or, what I have come to deeply appreciate and understand is, you can and should take the target language as it is. In order to connect with the language and consequently the culture, stop thinking in terms of your native tongue. Doing this to a deeper extent in Korea than I ever did before has felt extremely rewarding: it makes the language dynamic and exciting to learn. It has led me to cherish specific words or phrases, more so than I already did before arriving here. And it really is just… beautiful. LEARN A SECOND LANGUAGE! EXPLORE GLOBALIZATION!

Quite frankly though, I am disappointed that I haven’t been able to go to as many places as I would like, within in Korea. Okay more like: I am super grateful for the gorgeous places I have been to, but I also wish I could’ve visited those classic, “must-see” places like Busan, Jeju-do, Jeonju, Daegu, etc. I did however, visit lesser known, less expecting (??) places like Gangwon-do (Jumunjin Beach, Gangmun Beach, Gangneung, Yeongwol, Jeongseon, Pyeongchang) & Gyeongju & like Anyang & Seongnam…? Do these last two even count LOL theyre just smoller cities outside of Seoul… but yeah, I guess I’ll just have to save Busan and Jeju and the others for next semester… when I’m not as broke hopefully lmao.

But forreals, I actually really appreciated my trip to Gangwon-do even though it was technically an assignment for one of my courses called “New Media and Digital Storytelling” (shoutout to prof ted for supporting us with this valuable experience!!) because it was literally a breath of fresh air. Seoul is constantly jampacked with people and cars and smog and noises, but Gangneung was still a city, still just as civilized, but much quieter. Granted, nothing much happens out there and some parts are straight up just farming grounds, but the beaches have these stunning sunsets that look like they’re straight out of a graphically-altered fantasy movie. It was stunning and the image still lasts behind my eyes to this day.

One of the other things that I have been struggling to accept is that fact that I feel… unproductive in life? I wish I put myself more out there this semester. Even though I met a good number of locals and have had a few valuable conversations, I never deeply connected with any of them. Plus, almost all of them are going abroad next semester or graduating ☹. I also did not join any clubs or organizations or sports teams nor did I get a job or an internship or do any tutoring or volunteering on the side… I have just been going to class, occasionally spending a lot of money, and then spending some more. Last year at UCI, I feel like I ran into my freshman year with a fiery heart: I joined the badminton team, became a part of the Antleader Mentorship Program (AMP, which I miss so dearly with all of my heart) in fall & winter quarter, and took all upper division education courses my spring quarter as well as fulfilled my fieldwork major requirement by tutoring at a Kindergarten class for 6 hours every week. But coming to Korea, everything felt stagnant. Academically, career-wise, I feel like everything has been on a pause. Granted, many people could tell me that “Oh, you just being in Korea is already so much more than you need! You are doing more than enough, don’t worry”. But am I really?? I beg to differ. I am honestly pretty disappointed in myself and at this point all I can push for is to try to get more involved next semester. It has also been hurting to know that I have been digging into my precious savings that took over 2 long years to build up so quickly :(.

SO yeah, as great as Korea has been, it’s also been money-draining and disappointing from a personal-growth kind of view. Maybe I’m being too hard on myself, but that is also simply my reality. I think I am also choosing to be hard on myself because my luck with all my favorite artists has just been… totally undeserving.

I feel so blessed and “but why me??” at the same time. I have gotten to see Roy Kim four times live (fifth time will be this coming Sunday; the Seoul shows were blessedly scheduled the weekend right before I leave) & he released a new song in September. Eddy Kim, whom ive been waiting 4 years for to come back, finally did so right in the middle of my time here. Fromm, my extremely beloved indie goddess for YEARS now, released a new mini album in November; I got to see her 3 times live, and even attended her breath-taking solo?? Alone?? Personal? 그냥 단독 콘서트. Sam Kim, who I first listened to when I was 15, who has saved my life so many times with his music, finally released a FULL-length album 2 years and 6 months since his debut EP. Not only was I selected to go to his album’s release showcase, but I also got to a meet him through a fansign event. Oh yeah, I also met Fromm through a free fansigning & Eddy Kim through his new album’s fansign event, too. (I will post about these artist-meeting experiences separately because I feel like these three occasions alone have taught me so much). I saw DAY6 live for their third-year debut anniversary and I could feel the immensity and sincerity brimming from their voices, especially with an unfortunately missing member from stage; I will be seeing them soon for their newest music release, which also happened to come out this December. Nam Woohyun of Infinite, the group that I gave my heart to for over a third of my life, the group that I owe so much of my existence to, released another solo mini album, and I was lucky enough to even attend day 3 of his solo concert series; I saw a few other members of Infinite, I could feel my 12-year-old heart screaming & flailing & crying & apologizing from within because I’ve missed them for so long now, and I even heard a never-before released track from him as well. It was a miracle; I saw Woohyun & glimpses of the others on November 4th. Almost exactly 5 years ago in 2013, on November 11th, I went to a concert for the first time in my life and saw those very own loves with my own eyes: Infinite.

ALL OF THESE. ALL OF THESE EVENTS. Have been a blessing. Have been some sort of indescribable, boundless, breath-taking stroke of luck. I promise you, just luck. Roy just somehow decided to take a break from school at Georgetown THIS semester. Eddy Kim, Fromm, Sam Kim, Woohyun, and DAY6 all just somehow decided to release new music within the last half of this year. ME, I, just somehow decided to study abroad not as a 3rd year nor a 4th year, but a mere 2nd year. I decided to leave my home university barely 1 year in, and go to Korea. Just because. Because it felt right and I knew I wanted to, I knew I had to. But never could I have predicted any of these things to happen. Never in a million years. The very artists that I had only been listening to and watching from my computer screen for years as I hid beneath the deep blankets of my bed, the artists that have made me cry on cue because of how beautiful, meaningful, and healing their music is, the artists that seem to barely exist on the Internet, that are so lowkey and precious that I feel like I am the only that really listens to and loves them, the very artists that make my world revolve, that push me to go on when I want to give up, that I owe so much of my life to, all decided to release music, suddenly be active, hold events, and meet their fans in one way or another. Right. When. I am here, too. This sort of timing in life is nothing I had control of. It was all luck and I am just so deeply, infinitely, perpetually, until the end of this world, thankful. Every day I am so thankful. I didn’t ask for any of this, I didn’t hope for it, I didn’t even think about the possibility of these events happening in my life. But they did somehow. And for that, I am just so so so grateful. It’s just crazy to think that years ago, as a sophomore in high school. My heart would bulge with immense affection for these people & their music. They were unreal, almost-fantasy-like existences that made life-saving music and that I cherished so immensely. But little did I know 4 or 5 years later, this could happen to me. That there was actually a worth to loving these almost “nobody” musicians. I just constantly feel like I am always receiving from them, and never giving back. I really do owe them so much. Thank you, to my beloved artists. For everything.

Moving on to the people that have made my first semester here at Yonsei even brighter: our dumbass squad consisting of lil hoorey, 왕언니 ana, smol laura, dumbass closted weaboo Wilson, & even dumber josh LOL I am so blessed to have met such funny, stupid, understanding friends. Before arriving to Korea, I was STRESSED that I wouldn’t be able to find friends because I hate alcohol, I hate clubbing, I hate mainstream K-pop and simply many parts of popular Korean culture are things that I am not particularly a fan of. But thankfully, I have found an endearing group of friends that share these same sentiments. These reliable people have honestly shaped so much of my experiences here and I am forever thankful. IT JUST SUCKS THAT I AM THE ONLY ONE STAYING FOR A YEAR LOL. But yes, thank you friends, for everything <3 .

Have I exhausted all of my thanks at this point?? Probably not. But I’ll save those for my own heart and mind to cherish. Going abroad was and has been and will be an experience that I don’t think I could ever properly express with words alone. I think it’s always like that when it comes to these rants LOLLL. I rant because I need to vent these feelings and emotions and flaring thoughts. But I just end up struggling to articulate everything and get my heart across properly. Sigh.

Homesickness? Is this something I was supposed to address? Maybe exchange students are probably expected to always talk about this. But for me, it was a nonexistent notion. Being born and raised in the bay area, having lived in the same exact house, having slept in the same creaky, old bed for 18 years in a row, has provided me with a comfort that I probably take for granted more than I should, but has also left me with an intense urgency to explore more, see more, do more, and just breathe more. The Bay Area can be extremely toxic and suffocating in so many ways, and it a space that I know I can go back to whenever my heart desires, but it is also a space that I do not wish to prolong my stay in any further. My immediate family has also never been a significant part of my life: I have never relied on them for emotional nor mental support. Maturing into an adult with this sort of detachment has hindered and helped me in countless ways. There were definitely times throughout my life where I despised them for the way in which everything turned out. For how miserable or lonely or stuck or negligent I sometimes felt. But I know that without that detachment, I would not be where I am today. To my next semester at Yonsei, you look questionable, daunting, and exciting. I honestly can’t even begin to imagine what will be in store for me. All I can wish for is health & happiness.

가즈으으아!!~