#you can have all my albums
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Every time a man opens their mouth, I realize I'll never be able to be in a relationship again.
Why would I want to deal with something like that when I can have my silly little delusions about men that have yet to disappoint me
#dumb fuck ted talk#the real ones just suck#aint no butterflies all i'm getting is a migraine and homicidal thoughts#gOd why do they suck so bad#ignore me work was just ass#and i need sleep but the sleep isn't needing me because i've been in bed for an hour and nothing's happened#someone kill me#run me over#put me out of my misery#pretty please#you can have all my albums#even the posters#just don't take the photocards. i gotta be buried with them bitches they were expensive
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Merry Christmas!! I hope you all have a wonderful day <3
EDIT: I accidentally posted this too early but know this illustration is referring to a previous comic if you'd like to read it ! [Christmas 2023]
#almost tgcf#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#hob#hualian#xie lian#hua cheng#san lang#there's also three additional characters hidden there can you recognize them?#myart#merry christmas#merry xmas#I do admit I only wrote xmas because I lacked space#anyway I know I said I wouldn't do any illustrations for christmas but guess what haha I lied#no I didn't lie actually the spirit of christmas just came to me with an idea and I had to draw it#the spirit of christmas was listening to the fruitcake album on loop#anyway this is what happened after the christmas comic from last year#they got an after work party and then hualian just slumped on a sofa to cuddle or something like that idk#it's about the vibes okay not the feasability of it all#on that note please ignore the fact that I accidentally gave them the same heights#I hope you all have wonderful holidays and enjoy your time!!#I blurred the christmas tree for composition reasons but know I liked drawing it a lot <3#summarizing tgcf without having read any of it#san lang my babygirl my boytoy malewife my little pin up
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I love you albums. I love you songs connected by similar themes. I love you listening to songs in a specific order picked by the artist. I love you reoccurring motifs throughout the same album. I love you album covers. I love you albums with extended editions. I love you songs that reference each other.
#guys i fucking love listening to albums fr#best thing CDs have done for me is forcing me to listen to albums in order#this post is about. so many albums and artists#bad suns#imagine dragons#Set It Off#bastille#FUCKING HELL BASTILLE#theyre albums are SO GOOD#guys seriously. give me the future + dreams of the past. go listen to it. its so fucking good#doom days also fuckin slaps man. my fav oart is the fact the first 3 songs merge together for me until i realise million pieces is playing.#<- and ofc it has another place on it#also Imagine Dragons‘ Mercury 1+2 OUGH#the tone shift as you go through the double album until it does a full circle#sometimes a good album can be made up of songs that are banger after banger#<- All This Bad Blood-bastille Night Visions-ID smoke+mirrors-id apocalypse whenever-bad suns elsewhere-sio etc#and sometimes a good album can be made of songs that tell a progressive story while referencing eachother to enhance meaning and connect wit#-with the artists lived experinces#<- give me the future + dreams of the past-bastille mercury act I+II-ID Duality-sio#Tree Man Posts#music
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More dude and bruh texts
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Cross Sans#Epic Sans#Kross ship#Kinda? Implied maybe?#These two share a bed regardless of relationship. I've just decided#Maybe implied krepic? Because Wick is in my head lol#Epic's collection of pictures of Killer sleeping on Cross grows#He has a whole album on his phone and if Cross knew he would probably combust#Anyway I woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep and my brain would NOT let go of this idea#Drawing this like I'm exorcising the thought out of my head lol#Epic doesn't wanna sleep because nightmares but he does wanna use his bro like a bodypillow real quick#Killer's doing it like every night he must be missing something#Speaking of. Nightmare did see and he does not care#He thinks nothing of sharing a bed because they all do it constantly so this must be normal#His reaction was ''oh good you can wake Killer and tell him too''#And assumes the immense embarrassment coming off Cross is cause he got caught sleeping#TW suicide#Cross is just being dramatic but y'know just to be safe#This is the 3rd thing I've started drawing that involves Killer and Cross and cuddling#I need to finish and post the other two still but this is becoming a pattern lol#Anyway I have to do a shot of cold medicine and go be at work 🎉
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F I S S I O N - Why the hell do you hurt yourself for this?
#wake up babe new tenvishund art just dropped#very very rusty but inspired by a recent album and general life experiences/interraction#im coming to the end of my degree and trying to find A Real Proper Grown Up Job#and the industry I am in can be really sneaky - you think you've found something good but if you speak to the right people#then the truth comes out#which is frustrating#but here i am alive and well and probably doing better than i ever have been before#even if sometimes i do want to tear my guts out and die like a dog#such is life i guess all about balance#i also wanted to colour the guts red but i cant work this new fancy gimp system so i gave up#enjoy!! thank you for viewing!
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I'm slowly making my way through a new project- editing the entirety of the album PUNCH by Autoheart to the Life Series.
I was originally planning to post all of the edits in order of the songs on the album, but I instead made the Lent one first and am too excited to keep it in my drafts any longer while I work on the first four songs of the album (especially since we're coming up on finals seasons and the amount of time I'll have to work on these is gonna plummet so fast). So instead, I'll be posting them as I make them and make a masterpost of them all in order at the end.
That being said, I hope you enjoy this! I'm really proud of it and a lot of work went into it.
#life series smp#trafficblr#third life smp#last life smp#double life smp#limited life smp#goodtimeswithscar#grian#desert duo#autoheart/life series project#my edits#my art#everyone has to be so nice to me about the audio desync-ing in some places it does that whenever i export it and i can't fix it </3#i COULD tag this one as ship but im not gonna#i DO mean it like that. but like it's just canon clips it can be read however you so choose#also if youve been following me for a little bit youll know i did part of this edit once before#i did the bridge when the afk session came out#and then that plus cherrifire's crane lives project inspired me to assign the whole album to the series#and i was ORIGNALLY planning to do a project like she did w/ the thumbnails#but i couldnt get myself to actually DO IT and also i did map out an entire animatic to factories at one point.#which. on the topic of that. factories or anniversary will be the next ones#anniversary has been started but not fully mapped out whereas factories has been fully mapped out but not started#we'll see which one catches my eye enough first#but all the songs HAVE been assigned so if nothing else i know the gist of what i'm doing for every song#this will definitely be a multi-month project though since one of these takes me a few days to finish#though finals season approaching also means winter break is approaching so who knows! maybe ill bang all of them out in december#(DO NOT HOLD ME TO THAT OH MY GOD)
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I know you don't like discussing the muses but i love your takes and perspectives and i had to ask you about this. after listening to ttpd, did you have the impression that she really loved matty more than any of her exes/previous relationships?. And listening to the whole album as a whole would you call it the ''matty album'' or do you think there are more prominent themes in there than their period together?. (hope this doesn't bother you, feel free to delete if you don't feel like answering it)
hey anon! You're right, I don't really like to get into the muses as I don't really think there's anything to add to the conversation at this point, and ultimately I don't think it matters.
That being said, and with the caveat that I am not Taylor and I do not know Taylor so I cannot speak to her thoughts and can only make relatively educated guesses based on being an avid consumer of her work and a student of the human condition (lol), no I do not think Taylor loved Matty more than anyone else. I think there was maybe a brief period in the thick of things where she *thought* she did because she was not thinking clearly and was in full-on denial, but to me the message that is loud and clear in the album (and more or less explicitly stated in the epilogue) is that it was not any kind of real love affair. It was certainly infatuation and lust and the promise of something more, and there may have been some love as well, but he was in no way the love of her life by any measure.
I would call it a "Matty album" insofar as they're about events in which he was present, sure. But I feel it much more as a Taylor album, if that makes sense, even though I know that's a cop out because every album is to a degree. I can't explain it well, but I don't see TTPD as a Matty (or Joe) album in the way that I would maybe say Red is a "Jake" album or 1989 may be a "Harry" album or even Lover being a "Joe" album whatever, because even if they don't figure in all the songs, that kind of heartbreak permeates so much of the material.
The thing about TTPD and the Matty situation is that the Matty situation is really a Joe situation (which in some ways is actually partially a Jake situation). I always say I hate treating Taylor like a character so I hate speaking about her and her work in this way, but you don't get the Matty situation without the Joe situation precipitating it. It's @taylortruther's now-infamous donut vs. hole analogy. The reason Taylor makes the choices she does with Matty is directly tied to what happened with Joe that made her feel she needed to. Which is not to say Taylor isn't responsible for her own actions or doesn't have agency in her own life, but I mean it in that the situation in which she found herself with Joe, and the pain it caused, is what made the alternative so comforting and perhaps even necessary in her mind. It's why it makes it so hard to "paternity test" the album, because the stories are inherently intertwined and you don't get the former without the latter.
The major "theme" of the album to me is the loss of a very specific, very personal dream, and the way in which she lost it, and the way in which grieving that loss drove her to make the choices she did. We're all talking very delicately about it because it's a sensitive topic, but it's late on Friday and few people are going to see this, so I'm going to say it: it's the give you my wild, give you a child of it all. The yearning she expresses both overtly and sub-textually for having a family in the album is palpable in a very iykyk kind of way, and it's the realization that those plans are not going to come to fruition in the way she had once imagined that drives a lot of the pain she experiences, and makes her jump at the chance to find that again with someone else.
I started a draft post about the theme of womanhood and motherhood on TTPD three months ago that I never finished because I ran out of time and ran out of steam, but it was the most striking thing to me on the album, not because I didn't know that she wanted those things because that's been obvious for years (definitely since Lover, and again, peace put it all on the table), but because the vulnerability she expressed about it on the album is incredibly moving, and it's so generous of her to trust listeners with those feelings and experiences.
Again, it's the thirtysomething of it all.
She is in relationship A which she at one point believes is forever, one which she at one point believes is going to lead to marriage and children. She is so committed to that dream that she either ignores or tries to fix serious issues that may otherwise lead others to think the two people in the relationship are incompatible, both because she loves the person deeply and because she feels that this is meant to be the way she achieves that dream. She gives it her everything, and it still dies a slow, painful, onerous death, and she feels like it may take her along with it. The dream of getting married and presumably having a family gets taken off the table: how we don't know and will likely never know because that is private between the parties involved. All that matters in the context of the album is that those plans never come to fruition and never would.
Then you have relationship B, an old flame who knows just enough buttons to push both to trigger and to flatter. A person who she presumably trusts with very sensitive, personal information as her life slowly crumbles, and this person is telling her all the things she wants to hear because he knows about what is happening in relationship A because she's told him. Person in relationship B doesn't get an "in" with her and sell her this dream unless what happens in relationship A precedes it. It's not a grand love affair for the ages, it's not a mutual decision on building their own dream together. It's Person B learning about what is happening with Person A and saying "I can do that!" even if he can't or doesn't. The dream he sells her is a rental car; it's not his own, he's just borrowing it from someone else and selling it back to her.
And the reason she falls for it is because it is what she aches for the most in her personal life, and she is grappling with it disintegrating, so she (unfortunately for her) falls for the easy way out, and in turn sells herself a story about how this must be fated, and this must be meant to be, because this person wants all the same things she does and she didn't even have to bargain for it! Well, yes, because she fed him the dream in the first place. (Like a mark falling for a sleeper cell spy.) It's too good to be true because it isn't true. IMO Person B doesn't come running out of the gate with the marriage/baby/dream life promises unless he knows that is what she most desires. But what's left unsaid out of all of it is that: those dreams were her dreams because they were her dreams with Person A. It was a whole life they had together, and a whole life they had planned for in some fashion, and a whole life that has to be dismantled in the aftermath.
So all this to say, yes, on the surface, Matty is a "main character" on the album, but truly he's a side character to Taylor as the narrator and person experiencing it and Joe as the ghost bit-player-who-haunts-every-scene. (Again, I hate referring to real people as characters, it gives me the absolute ick, but in this case it's the only way to answer the question.) I jokingly call it the Matty album for shorthand or when I want to say something out of pocket, but really, it's a disservice to the album to say that because it's not a muse album as in it's about the romance (like, say, Red often is), it's about a soul-crushing heartbreak that goes beyond it. The romance is the symptom, not the cause.
The loss of youth is tied in with all this: she's not 22 anymore. She isn't even 32 anymore. She had a very specific idea of what her life was going to look like at this point and had planned for that life, and it goes up in smoke. But again, to bring the womanhood into it all: there is, unfortunately, a deadline for these things. You're with someone for over half a decade you think is going to be your life partner and father of your children and and then he's not. You spent half a decade building this relationship for it to crumble, but now you're in your mid-30s and you don't necessarily have another half-decade to build that trust and faith in someone else before being ready to start a family. And maybe you're scared that anyone else who may become your partner will need that much time to build that trust and faith, because that's kind of all you've ever know in relationships. But lo and behold, someone comes into your life you once had feelings for and maybe now do again and is offering you everything you want and thought you'd have by this point in your life right now. It feels like an elixir that as we find out is actually poison.
That youth is not just the chance for motherhood, but it's also the hopes and idealism and belief in the future that often gradually erodes as we age. But for Taylor as well, it's also tied into the trauma of what she went through particularly in 2016, which kicks off a lot of things on the album as well (her retreat, her relationship with Joe, the pivoting in her career, etc.). That event caused a pretty clear before/after in her life (like a few other events, I suspect), and another major theme in the album is her finally grappling with the full weight of that. They're all different branches of the same tree of the story of TTPD and her life.
I could talk about this stuff forever, but I'm going to stop here because it's long enough and I should save stuff for one of the dozens of drafts I have half-baked lol. But this is just something I needed to get off my chest perhaps.
#Anonymous#the tortured poets department#again I am trying to be very sensitive in this#and am trying not to project or speculate too much on main#which is why I'm... cutting it off here#but it's just... there are very specific Things in TTPD and Things in general that you can pick up on in the last few albums#and we don't talk about them in public for good reason#but I think it's also sad that we can't speak generally about these very common experiences for women#because as I've said before I have SEVERAL friends who have gone through similar situations in their 30s#it's just-- all our friends smell like weed or little babies idk#it's tied in to society and expectations and pressures and desires and conflicting signals and--#ANYWAY#writing letters addressed to the fire#Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn't pour the whiskey#cause I know that it's delicate#<- new tag for ~sensitive~ things if I can remember to use it
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also ,, im a little sappy today ahanajsjj but thank you all for treating me and everyone around you so kindly 🥹 i wish there was other things i could do to return the favor with besides like .. word dump .. but alas u are all so far …. just know in ur heart that u would be in grave danger the moment ur within a 100 foot radius of me !!
#彡 chatter.#i am weird and i do keep all your kind gestures in my photo album#you would not believe how organized they are#putting aside that i can recognize what every screenshot is — without glasses and without zooming in#because i look at them all the time ajwnsndkkxk#outing myself so early in the morning 🙂↕️#sometimes i say ‘i hope u have a lovely day’ with a little bit of aggression because i am aggressive about it#i want u to have a good day or else i will have a word with whatever threatens to not make your day enjoyable
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okay very preliminary thoughts on mitski's new album BUT i think there's something with how "laurel hell" felt like a goodbye to the music industry (can't find the source but i remember reading that it was intended to be her last album under her contract) like i'm sorry anthony fantano but if you interpret the back half of "laurel hell" as being generic breakup songs you're missing like 80% of the context. to me TO ME it feels so clearly about her negotiating her relationship with fame, how she can't love her fans the way they love her, and how she feels like she sold her soul to her job, so the only thing to do is step away. but THEN "the land is inhospitable and so are we" was created after mitski decided to renegotiate her contract, specifically because she loved making music enough to deal with the negative aspects of the work. and then all the songs are about the ghost of love she can leave behind, despite the present pain or emptiness, and like. do you see it. do you see it.
#THE NARRATIVE.#beepbeep.txt#mitski#like you can definitely interpret everything through the lens of personal romantic relationships BUT. i think its even better#envisioning that she is speaking to her actual audience. the love they have for her and the love she is trying to communicate to them#i mean especially “i don't like my mind” just feels like a response to “love me more” where she begs to keep her job#specifically so she doesn't have to be alone with all these thoughts. so she can be witnessed#but then i feel like “the deal” and “when memories snow” are responses to “working for the knife” and “everyone” where her job leaves her#feeling emptied out of all this pain and love simultaneously. hence the ghostliness of the whole album#and her coming to terms with this feeling of emptiness. or actually. the loneliness of having no witnesses at all. after the music.#being king of her own land. if one would like to use that turn of phrase#IS ANYONE ELSE GOING INSANE OR.
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modern family is all fun and games until you get to the scenes where you burst into tears because the once-vaguely homophobic dad now refers to his son's husband as family, and also the academically gifted daughter realizes that her dorky, clumsy dad was always really proud of her and just never surprised because he just assumed she could do anything, and also the eldest daughter who eloped comes crawling back to her parents' room and whispers that she still wants her parents to be present for her wedding, and also the anxious queer lawyer character admits that he was terrified that his husband would just leave him alone with their baby daughter, and also that the once-vaguely grouchy dad looks at his stepson and tells him that what makes a family is who sticks around, not who you're blood-related to and anyways what was i saying
#caroline talks#modern family#god. . .. the way i really do love this sitcom. like have all the jokes aged well? ehhh not really#there are some jokes that land pretty badly now but i still do love this show so much and i'm so sad i'm on the final season#it's like. oh yeah. family is complicated! it's rough!#but everyone can change and grow. people can become better. it won't be perfect and it'll suck sometimes#but everyone is trying their goddamn best.#i will say though i burst into tears at hayley coming to claire and phil and going '. . . i was going to elope but i realized#that i really wanted you guys there :('#and god also how i love gloria and jay and claire and phil and mitch and cam's relationships#and like i love the kids but the adult relationships make me cry the hardest#because it's like. when claire explodes on phil bc 'YOU NEVER TAKE MY ADVICE YOU'RE ALWAYS FOLLOWING SOMEONE ELSE'S!!!'#and phil goes up to claire and presents her with this photo album and goes '. . . honey i'm ALWAYS following your advice.'#and when i think about mitch freaking out bc he thinks he might have had another kid and he thinks cam might ditch him for it#and cam is just like '. . .. mitchell i love you.' and is just like. we'll deal with this together.#and it's just like!!! ough!!! ough!!!
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Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
You’re not the son I raised
#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍
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[ID: a pixel art gif of Five and Delores sitting on rotting lounge chairs by a pool in the apocalypse. Delores, made human by FIve's perspective, is swinging her legs, and Five is reading a book. There are four colors; yellow, hot pink, lime green, and blue. Music notes emerge from a radio. The sky is completely obscured by yellow, shifting clouds. End ID]
sometimes a guy has gotta have a vacation, even in the middle of the apocalypse.
#tua#the umbrella academy#gif#idk that just seems like an appropriate tag#five hargreeves#delores tua#apocalypse#pixel art#finally getting around to posting this and a little bit embarrassed about how long ive had all the pieces and just never put them together#i think i started this last summer. and also finished the gif last summer.#return of the 'gif with accompanying playlist because i dont want to download music'#this time i can actually make it a gif tho bc it isnt ONE MILLION YEARS LONG bc i didnt give it a 7x long scrolling background#this is kinda like. a drawing that ive already posted from a different perspective#except made pixelly and a gif#much effort was put into the making of this playlist. this is the 'songs five likes' playlist but shortened to five songs#as usual with pixel apocalypse art i have hidden some dead bodies for you all to find like a fun scavenger hunt#my art#tumblr i didnt give my playlist a little cover image for you to NOT show it. why.#genuinely remade this post three times trying to get it to realize i changed the album art. whatever i give up
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I always think it’s funny when people think “he jokes that it’s heroin but this time with an ‘e’” means the song is about m*tty. When it’s clearly meant to be Travis making fun of m*tty lmao.
#it’s literally like Taylor said ‘well my last boyfriend was addicted to heroin so it can only go up from here’ or something#and Travis being all ‘hehe well you could also say I’m a heroine addict. but with an e 😉😘’#and the two of them having a laugh over a silly joke at m*ttys expense#that is how I’ve always taken it anyway#also just generally hilarious that anyone would try to claim the alchemy is about anyone other than Travis.#that’s quite possibly the least subtle song on the entire album but ok.#ttpd#ts#taylor swift
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Look, I don't believe in preferential treatment, it's not right.... BUT ☝️ if we're gonna have changbin saying sydney is skz's second hometown I just think maybe australia could not be charged things like 60+ dollars shipping.... or 75 dollars for a normal album at the most prominent music retailer when other places pay 15-20 for the same thing.... lol
#like sometimes i think ppl think im being dramatic but over the years ive had ppl randomly look up how much we get charged for randon stuff#and every time theyre like WHYS IT 50 BUCKS MORE FOR YOU EVEN WITH EXCHANGE RATES FACTORED#and im like... idk ?#ausflation#like there are these little anime figurines my little cousin really liked and in jp yen which is equivalent to aud roundabout#theyre from about 36 to 42 dollars and in aus theyre all like 86+ dollars ? why. maybe 10 dollars more okay but why twice over ?#why#someone play why by skz#Why#like you can go online and find better deals but its sorta a hassle#and a regular old mum who has a 15 yr old who asks for a skz album for Christmas will probably just go in store and then be like why tf#lmao#we're being finagled#but also this just reminded me of last xmas when i saw a mum in the kpop section and she was so pissed off bc '#and i quote 'none of these albums have NAMES ON THEM' and then i looked and she was right#like there were numerous groups but very few had boxes that actuslly said NCT WISH or what#it was just like random graphic art or a couple were actually just plain boxes with a symbol#like if youre a kpop head you know the symbols but if you are aunty jen and you dont know this shit? fucked time really funny
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okay folks i need to get real with myself. how do i regain the nerve to start writing original fiction again and start tackling an extremely ambitious project that for now only exists as clouds in my head. Genuine opinions welcome
#it’s not even that i feel like i lack the technical skill im just SCARED. for no REASON#like i’ll never be able to record the album on my own because i lack the resources. dont need resources to write a book.#i think getting rejected from grad school twice did a number on my self esteem plus feeling like i#generally had to get my life together first. Well now my life is semi together but i cant work up the courage?? 😕#and i think my idea is good i just dont know how to. Do it.#i know it doesnt matter and you just gotta expell all the words you can no matter if it’s good or not and just Go#so why cant i. the only feeling i have here is Scared#of WHAT????? why are you SCARED???????#personal
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Do you like Be More Chill?
YES. YES I LOVE BE MORE CHILL!!! It was my favorite musical back when I was in high school, right as it came out!! I still know all the words to “The Squip Song” and “Michael in the Bathroom” and “The Pants Song”!
#blue babbles#be more chill#fun fact about me: I have an obscenely good memory for weird things#i genuinely could not tell you what I had for dinner last night#but I can tell you any fact about the ligthouse. I remember all the people who worked on Killer Klowns.#I know SO MANY song lyrics and exactly how the songs go and the order of certain albums#I just have severe memory issues other than that :.) hence why themes for both my fics are memory loss and how scary it is#I have to be guided to most memories#but! I could belt the squip song so like. is it really that bad? /hj#boyf riends was one of my first ships… I have posters and hoodies and a notebook
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