#you are the only one willing to Go There
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It is so very early in the 10-episode run of Thailand's adaptation of Addicted Heroin to give a flat statement on how the story is and will be presented. But so far, it's... cute. Like a lot of Thai productions are. (Please take away the 1980s cartoon soundboard from all the editors forever, especially for the Serious Plot Dramas.)
One of the main leads is 17 years old as of release. So, figure 15-16 while filming in a country where 20 is the age of majority. So everything gets (or should get) an immediate slap down for rating at the cost of the meat of the story. I'd rather have a 25 year old play 16 than either sanitize the material or have an actual teenager simulate sex on screen.
Look, I am all for Freedom of Plot and Fantasy and Exploration in fiction. I'm also a person who doesn't pretend that kids at 12 and 13 years old don't have skewed brand new sexual feelings that are being explored, usually through word-of-mouth rumors through other kids or porn, and experience so, so much shame about being curious about the absolutely very basic human drive to fuck.
Dicks get hard, pussies get wet. It's a natural thing. It's biology. But it's scary for the first time and every moment you're told it's Wrong, especially if you're queer. It should be explained and explored or it will combust into something poisionus, which is the whole point of Addicted. Two scarred and damaged teenagers obsessed over each other to the point of kidnapping because anything less doesn't feel like it's enough.
The 15 episodes of the Chinese version before it got the chop was dirty and messy from the plot beats to the filming. The Chinese version is full of "dirty" shots referring to the lingering lines and shadows of Bai Lou Yin or Gu Hai in the corners of each other's closeups, and also the grit that came from 2015/16 cameras.
Bai Lou Yin washes the blood off Gu Hai's shirt because Gu Hai nearly beat someone unconscious. You see the blood exploding on him. It's a visual metaphor. He didn't want these feelings, but they're present and vicious. Bai Luo Yin scrubbing them out is the start of a reluctant relationship between him and Gu Hai and also him and Auntie.
Hero has a mediocre punch and Pop mentions the invisible blood stains on his shirt and Auntie still comes to the rescue, but Hero's shirt was clean already. Everything is filmed so clean. The shots both inside and out of the convenience store (which will undoubtedly be a place of time filler instead of actual dirty, ugly plot, because proximity was never the problem and focusing on Pop's side job has nothing to do with him at all) are so, so bright and clean.
Addicted Heroin is ugly on purpose. This isn't supposed to be a pretty story. It's supposed to hurt. "Hai-Lou-Yin"/Heroin" was a major part of them. It's why "Heroin" is part of the title. They are the drug. They are the problem.
And now, "Hero" and.... "Pop". There's the slim chance that "Poppy" may get a nod to opium- Heroin- but I'm already unsure if this is willing to even bring up the idea of an actual unhealthy addiction. Which is the whole point!
Also. The fight at the beginning is a fake out puppy boyfriend being happy his boyfriend/fiance is home. There will be no conflict or the conflict will be shoehorned in at the last moment.
#addicted heroin#addicted heroin thailand#thai bl#chinese bl#also today i realized i graduated high school 17 years ago and i HATE it#the on1y one is feeling more like the source material#blah blah nickles and etc#japan save me#you are the only one willing to Go There#also only being into tiger from the jump and being the proactive aggressor is a choice that was made#hate the names and the dynamic 🙃
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You know I used to think "tumblr's absolute refusal to actually engage with the Trolley Problem in favor of insisting that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is just a short-sighted idiot is really fucking annoying, but I guess it's not actually doing any harm".
Anyway that was before we asked tumblr at large to decide between "guy aiding a genocide but making progress elsewhere" and "guy who would actively and enthusiastically participate in a genocide and would also make everything else much, much worse for everyone elsewhere" and the response was that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and that anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is a short-sighted idiot.
#there is not a third option. it is either trump OR biden#and one of those will be much MUCH worse for palestine#i'm really really sorry that these are the options. i wish they weren't.#but WHAT third option are you trying to take here? what on earth is your proposed outcome#that will actually make things better for palestine?#because letting trump win the election is NOT going to help them#i'm sorry but you need to set aside your feelings and take the option that will lead to less harm to palestine in the long run#you talk such a big game about how people need to be willing to make sacrifices to help palestine#but you yourself aren't even willing to hold your nose and vote to stop things from getting worse?#or did you think 'sacrifice' only meant not getting mcdonalds for a few months?#us politics
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Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest
Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here
Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭
It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony
#the final confrontation was basically his first death again#and YES he Does want the Joker dead#and it would've been really really nice if Batman was the one who did it#but when batman made it clear he wouldn't kill the joker. Jason easily switched to saying “LET me kill the joker” to accommodate#because he Wanted batman to pass his test#he gave a test to dick too. and technically tim but it wasnt the family test it was a different one so it doesnt rly count#AFTER utrh and the reveal and the batarang you can go hog wild about it. i care less about it then#granted i do believe they make jason more scared of the joker after it at some point#i guess because hes a bit too willing to kill the joker and ive heard jason wasnt meant to live after utrh#my watsonian explain for that is he was so fixated on his plan he cpuld override his fear. or maybe the pit. either work#i prefer the fixation bc i dont like the explanation that the pit was the /only/ reason he could get all plan together and done#BUT THATS UNRELATED!!!#dc stop putting the joker in jason stories im begging you please please please. lock him in a vault for the next 20 years or something#it Cpuld be good and i understand. but also. after so long of people that dont know or go for jasons need for family and parents#that love him and he can trust#the joker starts to feel like?? hm. words. a cop out? oh haha its that guy that killed him woagh hes here#i bet you dont even know that jaybin got beat until unconsciousness by an angry mob#while asking batman to save him only for batman to have to walk away#anwya. where was i going with this#i think i got off topic#jason todd#dc comics#batman#ADDED AN EDIT. SORRY. this post has been haunting me it keeps me awake. what if people misunderstand#they cant read my tags where i ramble more depth. thisbis the only option#EDIT EDIT: hiii#removed the sentence abt jason having the joker for several days bc i misremembered some things#go read its-your-mind 's addition instead also#ok no more i wont edit this post anymore i promise
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Context: friend got Memory of Sadness on their first friendquest to the end of the House. Big emotional whiplash but I love it, Siffrin just wants to stay in this happy bubble with allies. :)
#isat#isat spoilers#act 3 spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#AND THEN IMMEDIATELY FUCKS IT UP#friends started theorizing why it happened mean while im the corner#thinking about whats going on in siffrins head to have these happen in a row#so desperate to be happy with allies that man is willing to stomp on anything that ruins the vibes#also odiles line about doing horrible things for her family and assuming everyone else would do the same#oughhhhhhhhh if you could only know odile#another funny thing#friends started wracking up hella suspicious points in one loop#i know you cant get susquest in act 3 i just thought it was funny#the draws
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I just want you to know that I was rereading the PDMDZS comics yet again, and I finally caved and watched Legally Blonde because you're like a puppeteer that draws things and I'm like "well, guess I have to see it now." Now, after watching Legally Blonde, I must tell you that Elle Woods is love, Elle Woods is life, Elle Woods is everything to me. Elle Woods would have been able to save Wei Wuxian from the Jins all while looking sparkly and fantastic as she does it. (Obviously with her hype girlies in the background)
Her power and influence know no bounds!
#ask#elle woods#legally blonde#Of all medias to have indirectly convinced someone to see for the first time - I am so honoured to know one of them was legally blonde.#It's just a damn good movie about not letting other's bias limit you.#And to not let other people's shitty opinions of you define you!#It's also about how femininity is constantly regarded as something that is a 'weakness' but Elle shows up in pink! Stays true to herself!#Legally Blonde is the antithesis to Grease. That's a rant for another day#If you're willing to keep trusting me...There's a musical version of legally blonde that is very good.#Anyways. Elle Woods can't be in MDZS only because she would have solved so many problems that are essential for the plot to happen.#Elle would have lawyered the hell out of all of the defamation and war crimes going on.#Elle would have shown up with a big ass sword and won the war.#It's just me doing my part by having her be WWX phone lawyer as a running gag.
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You ever think about how All Might has two male exes that both have a child with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a big heart?

#we also have like. absolutely no mention of melissa's mother as far as I know#all we know is that she's quirkless and that she calls Toshi Uncle Might#not only that but these two have such like.#insane attachments to All Might as the symbol of peace#both of them also representing how we was perceived and loved by others#and how these two loved him so much they were willing to go thru so much shit for him#aaaaa the doomed old man yaoi is so real#has anyone else noticed this. please tell me im not the only one.#it just CANT be a coincidence that they BOTH have Blonde hair. Blue eyes. AND are such good hearted and heroic kids.#you can see the evolution of All Might and Toshinori through the specific men he gets close to ngl.#ok. thats it for gay all might posting. the 2nd one for today omg.#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#melissa shield#togata mirio#david shield#sir nighteye#all might#yagi toshinori
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Barry probably has showed up so often to Saints and Sinners to talk to Snart, debate with him, ask for help, etc. (with a complete absence of the fear anyone else would have) that it's basically common knowledge that Cold has a boyfriend that will show up and scold him like a Missus
#coldflash#leonard snart#barry allen#the flash tv#it's like. they figure out the bf is the flash. go “i don't know shit” and continue on#bc if snart is so whipped he not only is dating the flash but letting him talk to him like That? on the regular??#nah fam you fuck with that twink you're 110% gonna DIE#snart didn't even have to DO anything people just assumed riak of instadeath via context#also barry is fully unaware anyone thinks they're dating and is confused that no one he sees at Saints is willing to fight him as the Flash#fanfic prompt
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There is a brutal contrast in how Megatron and Optimus's stories end. Optimus nobly surrenders his spark, along with the Matrix of Leadership, having been sent off by his dear and trusted friends after giving them a fond farewell. He has accomplished his life's greatest goal; now he is able to rest. He dies willingly, at peace, bringing hope and giving life to the next generation by restoring the Allspark.
Megatron had already been killed, and was told that he can never join that very Allspark. Having been enslaved, and only released because of Optimus's actions, he is now reanimated, inhabiting his own corpse. His only remaining ally, who has constantly betrayed him, does not understand him. He flies off, alone, having lost all his forces and failed in his mission, and realizing that his life's greatest purpose was misguided. He is left, we can only assume, to live a hellish and hopeless life--a shell, consumed by the past.
And he did not tell Optimus goodbye. He knows that Optimus will leave him behind, will obtain the heaven he can never enter. He gives him the parting gift of his repentance, to acknowledge this. But in his refusal to say farewell, there is an echo of his own wretched endurance. He does not get to rest. Megatron will remain, eternally alone--eternally waiting for a reunion that will never come.
#transformers prime#transformers#megatron#optimus prime#megop#meta#megoptimus#depressing post alert...#just finished watching the predacons rising movie and i was feeling so many things so i had to inflict them on you#just. megatron leaving and KNOWING that optimus will leave him. you can tell in how he says his final words to him#he's of course nominally talking to starscream. but he turns and looks at optimus.#he knows the significance of what he's saying. and he knows that the only reason he is alive is because of optimus#because optimus was willing to sacrifice his own spark‚ to become one with the allspark‚ megatron received his own spark back again.#optimus saved his life.#and megatron knows this. he knows‚ because he has always known optimus and has always been able to see what he does#so he knows that when he leaves it is the last time he will see optimus--to the best of his knowledge‚ in this life or the next#he knows he will likely never join the allspark that optimus is already one with. and he still doesn't say goodbye.#because he can't let go. he isn't able to. he is the remaining half of their whole. the former servant of unicron‚ now without his prime#the primeval opposition‚ now with only one opponent; the original brotherhood‚ now only one without a brother.#his refusal to say goodbye is an expression of his desire that optimus remains. but--as all his desires have been--it is a futile one.#so at the very least it is his declaration that he shall remain even so. he will be waiting‚ for all the eons to come.#and maybe‚ in the end‚ though he does not believe it‚ primus will be merciful.#optimus always was.#kay has a party in the tags#my meta posts#kay can i just catch my breath for a second
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so uh
for 1. most people are gonna take advantage of black friday and wont see your specific niche tumblr post, I hate to say it
2. the us isnt running out of money for war any time soon, so...
3. this is just antisemitism???????? all we need is some (((echoes))) around the us and israel and then I'd have no reason to suspect otherwise from op...............
#why in tf do you think they care that much about getting your money rn and not before in any other war?#does it. mayhaps. have something to do w jewish people being involved now?#our tax dollars go to the govt regardless and has been for years and we already have an obscene amount of funding for military shit#preeetty sure they're not concerned about getting a couple hundred tumblr users money...#and also pretty sure one could only believe that if they're paranoid about jewish ppl.................#hard not to put two and two together and figure out op is prolly antisemitic and hopefully they just dont realize it#i say hopefully they dont realize it bc thats better than someone who knows and is pretending to be a leftist still.#if anything this pause happened bc its thanksgiving and biden doesnt wanna think about it over the holidays. thats p much it.#thats the only amount of conspiracy theory im willing to believe in this situation lmao.#but that ^ still assumes that biden has some sort of control over this that he really doesnt#and i dont think netanyahu cares that much about thanksgiving tbr...#it sounds more like to me that op is seeing this from a very american centric pov and assumes everyone celebrates thanksgiving#or cares enough about it to remember the dates.... i dont think this is as planned as op is making it out to be and any insinuation#that it IS planned sounds like conspiracy theory talk to me personally. i dont think biden is hittin netanyahu up and going#'hey thursday is thanksgiving and would be the perfect time to pause so we can (((get peoples money))) out of them#asiftheUSdoesnthaveplentyalready' like i just really dont think that convo is happening lmao.
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anzu normally wouldn't bring up such topics, however anzu kept getting anon asks on whether anzu is a shotacon or a proshipper. anzu does not like and does not want to be asked such things, so anzu would like to not be asked this in the future anymore, as for anzu will not answer them.
one of them also included a 'not asking to attack you or anything', which further proves, you're aware that if it were a normal question, you wouldn't have to be adding such a message besides as well, right?
thank you
#anzu personally thinks especially the latter term is rather stupid and just divisive. anzus been into fandom spaces for far too long to see#how these stupid terms just made fandom spaces worse. anzu wants only as much positivity on anzu's page as possible☆#also anzu is above the age of 20 and a big fan of going outside. was considering answering one like#real person: hey hows it goin have you seen the last movie they added to the theaters this weekend#but that wouldve been a bit rude#the anzu rambles#also want to end this on the note of anzu's art is for everyone thats willing to see it and adore it
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y’all i cannot stop fucking thinking about it. will with his big blue eyes, youngest of them all, completely musically untalented and rhythmically challenged but by the gods does he understand the human body. following lee around holding his quiver and rattling off whatever he just learned from watching michael in the infirmary. doted on by his big siblings. talking for hours about a galaxy far far away with heroes who choose to save the world, aren’t forced to, hey, they’re heroes, just like you, lee! and his siblings have dreams, they know the prophecies, they look at their little brother and they know he will be alone. they don’t know why or how yet but they can feel in their very soul that he will be out in the stupid world with all its hatred and violence and he will have to defend himself. and he can’t shoot straight and he cries when he hurts someone in training, and all he wants to do is help, and he doesn’t understand that people can be cruel and they will take his kindness and bleed him dry. and a war is coming. they can feel it. do you think they would be desperate? for themselves as much as will? i don’t know how long i will live. i don’t know how long i have left. but you will be there, son of phoebus. i know you will. remember me, okay? remember how i loved you. remember how we loved each other, remember how we healed and fought and cared. please. please, will, remember us. and remember how we loved you.
#I AM FUCKING SOBBING ON THE GROUND#WHY DID I WRITE THAT 😭😭😭😭😭 WHY DID I OPEN THE CAN OF WORMS#all i can think of is lee!!#with his brothers and sisters and his gift of prophecy!!!#KNOWING he is going to die!!!!#knowing will is the only one who is going to survive!!!!#what do you do with that!!!#how do you deal with that!!!!#how do you put armour around his heart???#how do you protect him when you know you won’t be there#when you know he’ll have NOBODY???#HOW?????? HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF#WITH THE GODS????#and knowing how he finally goes…..#do you think it haunts him in elysium#or do you think for once the gods we merciful#and let him die before he saw the look in wills eyes#as he cradled the pieces of his skull#and sobbed#and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed#gods help me.#will solace#lee fletcher#will solace & lee fletcher#will solace angst
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Don't get too attached
#Brakul did a lot of the parenting for Erubi (the first of the Janeys-Brakul-Hibrides throuple bastard children) in infancy especially due#to Hibrides going through absolutely horrific post-partum depression (and not wanting to be a parent to begin with. Like she#had accepted it as an inevitability and a duty but when it actually happened it was just like Oh God. I am in hell)#Brakul is the only one of the three that actually Wants to be a parent and the fact that he can't behave as such in order to avoid#suspicion that he's the father is kind of a living nightmare for him a little.#Not like he isn't involved in his ''''nieces''' lives given he lives in the same household but he has to keep a bit of distance.#Janeys and especially Hibrides are pretty unsympathetic about this. For Hibrides it's like she has had to go through so much shit#to maintain this situation she never asked to be a part of and when he has to go through a fraction of that he breaks the fuck down.#He only wants the benefits of the whole situation and isn't willing to deal with the consequences.#This is also one of the very few things she's sympathetic with Janeys about like she respects that he's at least willing to play#his part and be miserable without bitching to her about it. Like she fucking hates him but respects the commitment to the bit.#Janeys is more just like 'Just go make more kids if you want your own so damn bad. Get a wife or something. That's what I#had to do and look at me I'm doing great I'm so normal'#The two kids aren't present on the pilgrimage (back home under the care of a hired tutor) but the Janeys-Brakul-Hibrides#Feeling Triangle are in a fucking tailspin over her being pregnant again like goddddd not this shit again#brakul red dog
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comparing obi wan's to anakin's trajectory is a jackass move cause yeah, obi wan never had it easy and had plenty reasons to fall as well but he didn't have the pressure to be perfect as chosen one, he didn't have a fucking vulture preying on his relationships and overall life; he didn't have to take of a 14yo on the middle of a war when he was 19, yes he watched his mentor die but that's quite differently from dreaming about your mom being tortured to death for days and not been able to save her to then years later you have the same goddamn dream about your wife. the order you serve isn't the same anymore the republic you fought for isn't nearly as perfect and your mentor is asking you to spy on the only guy that seems reliable to you - but the same mentor lied to you before, you thought he had died, what more lies do the council are telling him now?
so yeah anakin lost many things and a lot of things happened to him but it's unfair to compare with obi wan life - who did lost many people - because they're way different. Anakin not only lost people and confidence and security he was also manipulated into slavery again and I'm so done with people treating him like a whiny baby that did stupid because he truly believed palpatine was going to help him - what evidence shows he wouldn't? palpatine preyed and groomed anakin since he was 9 and the jedi thought it was cool a child hanging out with a stranger but everyone going to point at the victim to choose what seemed the only way for him
#like imagine you have been manipulated and isolated#and now you only trust your wife#but you know she is going to die#your mentor says to not trust the guy that offers help#valid points guy is a sith#but your mentor have lied before hadnt he#so you only have the help of one guy and you didnt know by then you were going to be a slave#BUT!!!! ANAKIN WAS WILLING TO BECOME A SLAVE IF ITS MEANT TO SAVE PADME#anyway im venting#dont compare them to make anakin look stupid my boy deserves more#star wars#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi
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I love how many of us unanimously agree that Zoro would use Wado to kill Sanji. Kitetsu is too aggressive, Enma is too ambitious. Wado is Zoro’s heart. Wado represents all the softest parts of him. Wado is promises kept and undying loyalty. Killing Sanji wouldn’t be a conquest, it would be a mercy—an act of love done for a friend who’s suffering.
Truly, Sanji asking Zoro to kill him was placing his heart in Zoro’s hands and trusting him to do what no one else on the crew would be able to. What can Zoro do besides return that with his own heart?
#I’m so insane about the zosan death pact#I’m so insane about their relationship#it’s the fact that Zoro was the only person who could offer Sanji what he needed in that moment#Sanji knows his friends would go to hell and back to save him if he ever turned out like his brothers and that’s EXACTLY what scares him#he needed to know there was someone who would make the call when he’s too far gone#he needed to KNOW that someone was willing to stop him by whatever means necessary if it came to that#assurance that he wouldn’t have to live as a version of himself so completely antithetical to everything he values#everyone else on the crew would tell him ‘we won’t give up on you’ he trusted Zoro to say ‘I’ll stop you’#rambles#one piece#roronoa zoro#black leg sanji
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INSIDE NO. 9 | Director Guillem Morales + horror (1/2)
From the BBC Sounds pod - S6E5 "How Do You Plead?"
Reece: Guillem, you've got a very strong sense of what's creepy, and I always, sort of, absolutely trust your judgement as far as, like, having–I think we're quite similar in what we think will be creepy visually (Steve laughs. Guillem: Well–) and we egg each other on. (laughs) Guillem: I think, basically–I think that we have that kind of secret deal about you sending me the scripts with some horrible scenes in them, and me trying, you know, just to come out with even more horrible things. (laughs) (Reece: To make them worse) To make it– (Guillem and Reece laugh)

Reece: Well, prime example was, cos we never thought of it but you did, in "Misdirection" where the guillotine–where Neville is trying to chop Willy's head off. And we just wrote that he pushes him in the guillotine, lets go of the string, and his head comes off. But you were like, "No, no, no, no, it's not–it's a prop so it wouldn't really work, so it would get stuck in his neck. And he has to run up and he has push the blade through to finish him off." And we were like, "Brilliant!"
Guillem: But that was–it made sense (Reece: It made sense, yeah), because it's INSIDE NO. 9, so you never know. So the message there to send to the audience was: He's dead. You killed him and you're using a prop, so it was just making sure that message was delivered properly. Reece: Yes, absolutely. It was very, very good. (Reece and Guillem laugh) Certainly delivered, yes. Guillem: And you enjoyed it. Reece: (laughs) I did! I loved it. Steve: Yeah! He likes killing me in different, inventive ways.
Guillem: You didn't enjoy so much, Steve, probably. Steve: (laughs) I did some of it. It's actually a very scary thing, putting your head in a guillotine. Even though you know you're completely safe and there's no–it's just mentally, it doesn't feel right. Reece: I remember being thinking, "How have we ended up in a situation where Steve has to put his head in the guillotine, and there is now the possibility that that blade (Steve and Guillem laugh) might come down on it–" Steve: "–Cuts his head off!" Reece: "Cuts his head off!" Yeah, it was quite frightening. Guillem: You…you write those things. Reece: I know! But we don't think about the execution.
#in9#inside no 9#inside no. 9#in9 scripts#misdirection#guillem morales#reece shearsmith#steve pemberton#guillemmm i love his work on the show & this episode#i wasn't going to transcribe the whole thing but decided to bc this is my fave bit from the pod. mainly for how r talks to guillem?#you can tell how much he likes him/likes working with him. it's a wonderful listen even though they're talking about beheadings here lol#i almost didn't do this post after seeing that the stuck blade was in the script#but given how the animated/ronnie growing ending was also in the script for wise owl#i assume these are discussed early on & and they make these edits for the final shooting script (which is what the books are)#which really goes to show how much r&s are willing to listen and adapt their writings!#i loved hearing about that in the doc too (btw where the heck was guillem in the doc. there was only one bit??)#(j is thrilled i'm finally posting about his fave ep lmao)#(also made a 540px gif! only needed 5% optimisation)#vagueeyes.txt#edit: corrected minor typo
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"Do you know where we are going next?" I asked ART.
Y'know what, I think maybe I don't need any more Murderbot books. I think maybe ending things here is fucking perfect and as much as I love Wells's writing I'm genuinely not sure it can get better for me.
Like, so much of the books are about MB learning how to be a person, about becoming okay with being a complete individual with everything it entails. The first thing it does once it's actually allowed to decide on its own is it runs away from it all (admittedly to go on a mission to confirm some things about its past, because it genuinely just wants to be *good*). It shoves all its emotions away as much as it's able to. Then shit happens, and it makes its first friends, makes decisions based on these friendships, goes through a lot of emotionally intense situations...
And we get to this point here. MB having zero doubts about going with ART says a lot about its relationship with ART, but it also says a lot about its relationship with its humans - it knows that wherever it goes, when it comes back, the humans will still be there. Its humans actively acknowledge its struggles with being a now-free SecUnit and MB is willing to entertain the discussions to an extent and share information about its deeply personal experiences. Hell, System Collapse ends with MB admitting it might be somewhat broken, but that's okay as long as it can keep doing its job, and agreeing to basically do counselling - this is the guy what would rewatch its favourite TV show again and again in order to avoid acknowledging it even had Emotions a couple books back.
Reading this, I know that MB will be okay. It has hopes and goals and genuinely believes in itself and it has an amazing support system that its willing to lean on for the first time in its life. I'm convinced it'll go on to do great things with ART. And that's really the only thing I need to know.
#Murderbot#murderbot diaries#tmbd#system collapse#Herr's personal tag#Also like. System collapse dives deep into MB's feelings about its life as secunit prior to the events of all systems red#I find this conversation from when they were discussing what would happen if the BE folks got to the colonists first /very/ telling#MB going on about how life as a corporate slave is absolute fucking hell#ART drone saying that they can't just kill people because the alternative is worse than death#ART: would it have been kinder to kill you before you'd disabled your governor module?#MB with zero fucking hesitation: /yes/#(followed by my favourite ART line ever. “You know I am not kind.”)#Like. MB would not have always admitted that it had hated its life as a secunit this openly#Saying it was shit is one thing saying I would rather be dead than think of me or anyone else going through this again is a very different#And here it has zero issues stating that. At least when talking to ART#And then later on it goes on to offer its actual memories for a publicly screened documentary#Because it knows it's the only way to make people see. The only way to save then from the same (ish) fate#And it's willing to do whatever it takes to save these people it's never even met before from what it views as fate worse than death#Including opening up and acknowledging its past experiences and past/current feelings#And I'm just like. Man I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried.#You go MB. Holy fuck I wish I could do what you've done. You might just be the person to defeat this evil capitalism my dude
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