#you are literally 7 and a half pounds

[tpwkmadeline]

sometimes i think an evil creature tried to come back to life but messed up and accidentally picked my 7 pound maltese because there is absolutely no reason for a dog named muffin to be acting like that.

8 times out of 10 she’s the sweetest little cuddle bug ever but god forbid you even touch her on a bad day.

[sallysetoncore]

*hits head against wall* my sibling didn't know flights are expensive when you require 4 bags

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

idk if you're still doing these but how do you think the animorphs would do against the original X-Men?

[Obligatory joke about the X-Men having an advantage because they cloned Jake to make Bobby.]

Animorphs Advantages

Trust in leadership. Full offense to Scott, but he can be bossy and overbearing to the point where it causes infighting. Jake's team will not hesitate to go up against impossible odds at his command, and basically never questions his orders in the heat of battle.

Flight hours. Warren might outweigh Tobias by a good 200 pounds, but he doesn't spend literally 15+ hours a day 7 days a week flying around hunting. And Tobias gets very good at taking out bigger opponents like David's golden eagle or the helmacron ship.

Adaptability. The Animorphs can survive in most environments most of the time, and are nigh unkillable. Jean can be taken out by a rock to the head. Scott can be taken out by a rock to Jean's head.

X-Men Advantages

Coordinated attacks. They can and do hit their enemies from multiple fonts at once: Warren goes high while Hank goes low, Jean goes mental as Bobby goes physical, so on. The Animorphs' weapons are all variations on hitting or stabbing their enemies up close.

Sheer raw power. Scott can punch a hole in a mountain. Jean may or may not be able to destroy entire planets. Bobby can make an entire city in the time it takes Scott to level one.

The fact that they actually go to school. Hank's obviously the one with the big advantage over the C- average high school dropouts, but Scott, Bobby, and Jean are also smart enough to be teachers in some continuities.

Animorphs Disadvantages

Distance. This is always their drawback, but they only have melee attacks. Scott, Jean, and Bobby can all attack from half a mile away.

Leaky communication. A ton of their strategy depends on being able to talk to each other without their enemies hearing. Even if they figure out that Jean can hear every word they're saying, they're going to be massively hampered by their inability to talk privately during battles.

X-Men Disadvantages

Compassion. Assuming that this is winner-take-all no-holds-barred fight, the X-Men will not only hesitate to kill, but are likely to stop fighting if one of their own is killed. The Animorphs have no such pangs of conscience, or at least don't let those stop them.

Lack of control. All of them are, to some extent, afraid of their own powers or hesitant to use them. You don't see Rachel beating herself up about what'd happen if she let the beast win or got too much phoenix power.

Conclusion: I'm giving this one to the mutants. Sorry, morphers.

[merrybloomwrites]

The Only Way of Knowing You (Chapter 1)

Story Summary: After a chance encounter, Y/N finds herself on a series of dates with Harry Styles. She shares with him her innocence regarding physical intimacy, and he takes his responsibility in teaching her all about that very seriously.

Chapter Summary: Y/N is overjoyed to head to the hospital to meet her new nephew, and ends up meeting Harry Styles as well.

Word Count: 1.7K

CW: mentions of people giving birth

AN: So excited to finally post this series! I've really enjoyed writing this and hope you'll all like it. Thank you to the anon who requested shy virgin reader!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’re anxiously waiting to get a text or a call from your brother-in-law. You’d spoken to your sister yesterday morning and she mentioned that she felt like she was having contractions and would probably be in labor soon. So casually! You figured that since this is her second baby she must be feeling more relaxed about the whole situation.

But that doesn’t stop you from worrying about her for the whole day and a half between that call and when your phone finally rings again, Brian’s name appearing on the screen. He’d been sending regular updates to you and your parents and the last one sent almost two hours ago just said “it’s time”. 

So this call must mean your new nephew is finally born. You quickly grab the phone and answer the call. 

“Brian, hi!”

“He’s here!” He exclaims. “Born at 1:35, 7 pounds, 2 ounces, 21 and a half inches long.”

“How is he doing? How is Kyra?” 

“He’s perfect! Kyra did great, she’s resting at the moment. We'll send a picture soon. She asked that no one come this afternoon but we’d love for you to stop by tomorrow. Your parents are coming in the morning and bringing Wyatt to meet her little brother.”

“Ok great! I’ll talk to them and coordinate what time.”

“Awesome, you’re gonna love him! Listen I’ve got a couple more calls and I want to get back to them but I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye Brian, give Kyra my love!”

“Will do, bye Y/N.”

You hang up and literally squeal with excitement and relief that he’s here and everyone is doing well. You let out another happy noise when you get a couple pictures from Brian. You’re immediately in love with this little boy, even if he looks like an alien/old man hybrid. You wish you knew his name, but your sister made it clear she is keeping it a secret until you and your parents meet him in person. 

At 8PM your mom calls and you figure they just got Wyatt to sleep. You talk for a bit and make plans to all meet at the hospital the following morning at 11. 

You’re so excited that it’s nearly impossible to fall asleep, but you manage. The next morning passes quickly, and suddenly it’s time to head to the hospital. 

Once there you find your parents and your niece signing in and you do so as well. Finally, the four of you make your way to the right room. Just like when you met Wyatt nearly three years prior, you immediately fall in love with this little baby the second he’s placed in your arms. 

“Everyone, meet Jasper Lucas,” your sister says. 

For half an hour you all get to spend time with Jasper as well as check in on Kyra, who truthfully looks fantastic for having just given birth the day before. You and your parents step out in order to give the family of four some time together. 

Your mom comments that she could use a coffee and your dad hastily agrees so they head off to the cafeteria. You figure they must not be used to taking care of a toddler and decide to go over and help out that evening. 

They ask if you want anything and you decline, choosing to instead go into one of the family waiting rooms and check on a project for work. 

The room is empty when you enter but after a minute you hear footsteps. Looking up from your phone, you’re shocked to see who just walked in.

Harry Styles casually sits in one of the other chairs. You subtly glance at him, noting his jeans and sweater combo, as well as the look of pure excitement on his face. After pointedly looking anywhere but at him for a moment you can't help but turn towards him again.

“Hi!” he says cheerfully when he notices you looking at him. 

“Hello,” you manage to squeak out. 

“I’m Harry,” he says, leaning towards you with his hand out.

“I’m Y/N,” you reply while politely shaking his hand, hoping you’re doing it right. Which is wild because you;ve shaken hands with people hundreds of times but like, this is Harry Styles. 

“My sisters just had a baby,” he adds, and now you understand why he’s practically vibrating with glee. 

“Congratulations! Mine has as well. Is this Gemma’s first?” You realize a second later how creepy you now sound, using his sister's name when he hadn’t even told it to you. 

Before you can apologize he laughs and says, “Yes, her first. So you know who I am then?”

“I mean, I don’t live under a rock so yes, I am aware that you’re Harry Styles.” 

“Can you do me a favor then, love?” 

You nod, willing to do anything he asks, especially if he continues to use such sweet terms of endearment like ‘love’.

“Gems kept this whole pregnancy private, and isn’t planning to announce she’s had a baby for a few weeks. I probably should’ve kept my mouth shut, but I just had to tell someone. Can you help keep this a secret and not let anyone know about the baby?”

“Oh of course, yea, secret’s safe with me.”

“I appreciate it. We may be adults now, but I think I’ll always fear the wrath of my big sister,” he says with another laugh. “Is this your sister's first as well?” he asks.

“No, I have a niece, Wyatt, she turns three next month,” you reply.

“And this little one, boy or girl?”

“Boy. His name is Jasper. My sister always said she wanted one girl and one boy so I guess she got her wish.” 

You refrain from asking him the same question, not wanting to look like you're asking for personal information about his family, but he apparently doesn’t feel that way because he says, “Gemma had a girl. The tiniest little thing. I think. At least she looks that way in the picture.”

“You haven’t been able to see them yet?”

“Not quite, they needed a few more minutes before they were ready. Our mum’s in there with her, has been the whole time, so I’ve been anxiously waiting on my own.

“I feel that. I was the same way the past couple of days.”

“Well at least we have each other now, I feel much less jittery being able to talk to you,” he says.

“Glad I could help. People say I’m an excellent conversationalist.”

“Oh I can see that already, I’m quite enjoying this conversation.”

Just then Harry’s mum, Anne, walks into the room.

“Harry dear, they’re ready for you,” she says, giving you a quick smile before she walks out again.

He jumps out of his seat and says, “Sorry to cut it short, but-”

“Not a problem! Go, meet your niece. Bet she’ll be very happy to meet her Uncle Harry,” you reply.

“Would you want to keep talking? Later?”

You look at him, confused. “I’m not sure how long I’m going to be at the hospital.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean here. I just meant, maybe we could meet again, some other time. At some other place. Preferably with better coffee.”

“Are you asking me to hang out with you at a coffee shop?” you inquire, wanting to make sure you fully understand what is happening.

“I am. Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve actually asked someone on a date, guess I’m a tad rusty.”

Your eyes go wide at the word ‘date’. You were already perplexed, wondering why he’d want to hang out with you as friends, but making it a date? 

Your mouth works faster than your brain, and before you can really think through your answer, you hear yourself saying, “I’d love to get coffee with you.”

“Fantastic! Here, write your number in my phone and I’ll text you to set something up,” he replies while unlocking and handing over his phone. You’re practically on autopilot typing in your info and handing the phone back to him.

“I should go, I’ve got a niece to meet. It really was lovely chatting with you.”

“I agree. Say congrats to your sister for me!”

“I will, please say the same to your sister.”

“Of course,” you reply.

“Goodbye Y/N. I’ll talk to you soon.

“Looking forward to it. Goodbye Harry.”

With one last shy smile, he walks out of the room, leaving you standing there feeling rather shell shocked. You don’t have long to dwell before your own mother pops back in saying Kyra is ready for you all to go back.

You spend another hour there before leaving to go out and get some lunch. While you’re at a local restaurant, trying to encourage Wyatt to eat her lunch rather than play with it, you get a text from Brian saying Kyra and the baby will be discharged later that afternoon.

After lunch you go to their house and entertain Wyatt while your parents make sure everything is clean and ready for them to come home. Brian, Kyra, and Jasper arrive just before dinner, so you stay to make sure everyone eats and is as content as possible. 

You leave after cleaning the dishes, knowing everyone is ready to settle down for the evening. Back home you hop in the shower, and when you get out, you have a text from an unknown number. It reads, “Hello, Y/N, it’s Harry.”

Your eyes go wide and you let out a nervous giggle. Honestly, there’s a part of you that thought you had hallucinated the interaction this afternoon, but here’s proof that it all really happened. Before you can type back you get another message from him saying, “If you’re not busy, how would you feel about getting coffee this Saturday? Say 1PM at Inkwell Cafe?”

“Sounds perfect,” you reply. Your phone dings again a second later and you read, “See you then! Have a great rest of your week.” After sending a quick “You as well!” you toss your phone to the side. 

You get into bed, and reflect for a moment on everything that happened since getting up that morning. You knew it’d be a wonderful day; how could it not when you got to finally meet your perfect nephew?

But to have met one of your favorite celebrities and now have a date with him? Never in a million years would you have guessed the day would end this way. You fall asleep feeling like the luckiest person in the world.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Thank you so much for reading! I hoped you liked this chapter and can't wait to share the rest!

[thirstyforsimonghostriley]

Simon (Ghost) Riley Head cannons

Although I am a bit late it is currently 9:41pm on the 12th so it is still Mother's Day and I decided I would write some headcanons about how Simon would absolutely spoil his wife/Gf/Fiancé on her First mothers Day! (PS: This is my first time EVER writing smut so it most likely won't be amazing) (Also as always the Divider is by @cafekitsune) (Also! Fem reader Implied, This includes a reader with Female anatomy)

Like I said there will be smut so 16+ Warning! And yes I write 16+ because in my country that is the age of consent and I am only 17 so it would be hypocritical of me to say 18+

Dad!Simon Would wake up at 6am quietly sneaking out of your shared bedroom as he made his way into the kitchen starting to make a mothers Day Breakfast

Dad!Simon Would Dress his 7-month-old son up in a cute Tuxedo, Walking into the bedroom as you lay there half awake, He would be Holding the baby in one arm and a Breakfast Tray in the other, His muscles flexing.

Dad!Simon Would clean up your Breakfast demanding you to Relax and get ready for the day.

Dad!Simon Would Smirk as he watched you at the Spa Appointment "Your son" Booked you in for the day.

Dad!Simon would Make Dinner for the Night as you sat on the couch with your baby cuddled up in the new fluffy Pyjama set "Your son" Also brought you.

Dad!Simon Would Kiss your neck softly as you stood over your Sons crib watching him sleep peacefully.

Dad!Simon Would lay you down gently on your shared bed, Massaging your calves before slowly moving his hands upwards over the hem of your Pyjama set wrapping his fingers around them and gently pulling them down past the swell of your ass all the way down until he could toss them on the floor somewhere.

Dad!Simon would kneel on the floor with your his over the edge of the bed as he ate you out passionately, Smirking more and more as you became louder and louder with pleasure.

Dad!Simon would mutter into your ear gently as he had you pinned down on the bed stomach down, Your face resting on a pillow as he pounded you from behind grunting gently once in a while.

Dad!Simon would tell you how Sexy you were as he caressed your body while his hips were still pounding into you.

Dad!Simon would kiss your head gently as you would lay on top of his naked chest, covered in Scars and hair while you slept peacefully exhausted from your day.

Again as I said I have literally never written Smut before so I am aware it's a little bleak and not very detailed but hopefully it will improve as I write more! (Also to Any Mothers Reading this *Seriously doubt it lol* I hope you Had an Amazing day!) (Also Feedback is welcomed!)

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello! I would like to please request a MCYT preference (Quackity, Tommy, Ranboo, Karl, Tubbo, Badlinu) dating a SO who can do voice impressions. A fictional character, a real person, an animal, or a sound effect. Imagine the MCYT is playing a horror game and suddenly a sound of a baby crying jumpscares them but it was actually their partner

omg stop this is adorable I love it LMAOOOO ; thank you for requesting, hope u enjoy!! ; I made these mostly kinda funny cause idrk what I'm doing

MCYT ; vocal impressions

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, quackity

warnings ; language

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he was playing a slenderman game with ranboo and charlie

he was super on edge cause he was just being chased around and it was all dark

you, as a joke, decided to scare him by making a noise

you were sitting on the beanbag chair behind him and he definitely forgot you were still here by now cause you went quiet for a while

you notice the game is silence because he's whispering for a moment until he's quiet again

you say it loud enough for it to scare him and so he can hear it, in a Jimmy Neutron impression you slightly yell, "One more paper to go, Tommy!"

He JUMPED.

he spends the next minute and a half bickering with you (playfully) while almost crying cause his heart is pounding in his chest

RANBOO

he was playing a horror game with some friends

cue scary music and silence, they were fucking terrified

you wanted to mess with them + you had a poll on your Twitter really quick if you should or not

you started barking like a chihuahua to scare him

literally fell out of his chair

it went backwards cause he pushed his feet away and he threw his headphones off

lots of laughter and apologies afterwards

FREDDIE BADLINU

he finds your impressions so fucking funny

you reference memes 24/7 and sound exactly like the original and he can't help but laugh

you're like a meme jukebox

"What!? What the fuck!?" when something weird happens

you recreate vines 24/7

you'll wake him up in the middle of the night quoting some demon from a movie and he'll actually be scared out of his mind

ALEX QUACKITY

he finds that shit so funny

he always asks you to quote Thanos in a Thanos voice (2020/2021 era)

he asks you to do an impression of him and you end up play fighting for an hour over it

"I don't sound like that!"

"I don't sound like that!" you mock

"Shut up!"

and you sound exactly like him.

[binniebakery]

lights off

College AU Bestfriend!Beomgyu x Gn!Reader .. not exactly fluff! kinda suggestive? ♡ Warnings: thunder? rain? ig being in the dark? my first time writing kissing .. my first time actually writing ANYTHING so it might be bad im so sorry guys ♡ A/N: this is my first little fic (if you could call it that)! i literally hate it but i think i got the point across LOLL regardless i hope someone will enjoy please lmk what you think <3 lowercase intended + not proofread ~

7:32 pm. sighing softly, you placed your phone that was softly playing your favorite tunes back down on the small table over your lap. you tapped your pencil on the table in frustration as you once again for the fifth time readjusted your legs on the bed of your best friend's bedroom. time was going by excruciatingly slow and it didnt help that this math problem was taking you a million years to solve. the sun had already set outside and heading back to your dorm seemed less favorable by the minute. hearing a soft shuffle from the other side of the room you looked up at your best friend. rain began to patter outside. looks like you'll be staying for longer than you intended. beomgyu, who had his deep-colored headphones on was moving his head to the music as he wrote down notes from his study guide. his hair softly wrapped around his features most attractively. you began to mentally trace the lines of his nose, his eyes… his lips.. the dim lighting of the room adding more charm to his aura. "y/n..? are you okay? i could feel you burning holes into my head." beomgyu said as he shook off his headphones to fully put his attention was on you. snapped out of your daze, you mentally kicked yourself as you felt embarrassment creep onto your cheeks. how long had you been staring at him for..? "sorry gyu. if i was staring i didnt mean to" you softly laughed, trying to seem nonchalant and cool about the situation. beomgyu, seeing your embarrassment, chuckled at your reaction. "youre okay, i know you look at me because im cute" he grinned and you rolled your eyes. "oh shut up! you know i was daydreaming. i cant focus on this assignment anyways, its too hard. i think im gonna just finish it tomorrow." you smiled as you threw a pillow at him. he was always cheeky when he had the opportunity. anything to see you react. "daydreaming? so you do think im cute?" he grinned wider after recovering from your pillow attack. you huffed and placed the table that was on your lap onto the ground. "you know youre so-.. ugh and what if i do think you're cute?! what would you even do about it, huh?" you retaliated as you sat on the edge of his bed, now fully facing him. you faked a pout as you were feeling a bit bolder than usual today. your homework giving you enough pent-up rage to have the energy to give in to his bickering.

"okay well i dont know how much truth there is to that but if you really meant that id probably kiss you." your eyes widened at his response. you see beomgyu's face turn into an unreadable expression. he hadnt realized you were only half joking and fully meant the compliment, but it was too late and by the time he caught wind that you were actually flustered he felt his stomach flip. even he was shocked by his own words. he slipped. had he said too much? after a few seconds of silence that felt like minutes. the rain outside seemed to get louder. his eyes finally met yours and you looked away. you felt your heart pounding at the thought of you saying too much. both of you overthinking the situation and awkwardness that you both never have had before taking place. you and beomgyu have never had an awkward moment like this. normally you both laugh things off but this time felt different. "you trust me right?" his voice sounded sincere. this tone was rare for you to hear from him but you knew immediately he was being genuine with his question. "h- huh? yeah of course.. why?" you responded. "okay well.." you noticed beomgyu was now fiddling with his headphones, it seemed like he was turning all the gears in his head to get out what he wanted to say. "y/n.. theres a chance you may have not been telling the truth but if you were- look regardless if you meant it, i meant what i said." you could feel your stomach turning. he hardly flirted with you but when he did it always felt different from his usual teasing. you never said anything though, in fear of ruining your friendship. yet you always thought about what it would be like if he also returned the feelings you felt.

the room's atmosphere seemed to change. suddenly you were both hyper-aware of his neon led light being the only source of light aside from his computer. your playlist had stopped and the silence felt unbearable. in one swift move, he stood up, and turned off the led light on his wall.

the room was a lot darker now, his computer screen's light being the only way of telling you what he was going to do next. you watched as he plopped down next to you. he was so close that you could see the slight tinge of pink on his ears. your senses began to be filled with the light scent of his cologne. "i.. look- the only way i can say or do this is if the lights are off- im not trying to be weird its just you make me so nervous.. i cant look at you." he mumbled as he looked at your hands resting on your lap. it was so dark and both your hearts were racing. "gyu.. " was all you could muster with his hands now softly on yours.

"can i…" beomgyu began as he leaned in closer, only centimeters away from your face. his eyes staring intently into yours. he had this look of pure admiration, nervousness and love. it was all too surreal. realizing what he was asking, you silently nodded as you stared at his lips. he pressed his forehead on yours, the thick tension in the air causing your body to tingle in anticipation. as you felt his hair softly tickle your features from him leaning in, your lips connected. he kissed you oh so softly as he held your cheek gently. your hands, as if moving on their own, were softly placed on his arms. his lips softly moving along your own. he was patient. it felt as if he was waiting for you to respond, unsure if what he was doing was okay with you. you moved your head to the side slightly to deepen the kiss, causing him to sigh. it was all he needed to know you felt the same. his hands moved to your waist as you settled your fingers into his long hair. softly pushing him towards you to intensify the kiss. all that could be heard was the rain outside aside from the soft exchange of sighs and hands roaming. "ive liked you for so long.. you have no idea.." he began between kisses. it was all passionate, slow, and tender as if he was handling you like glass. his hands pulled your waist impossibly closer to his. he separated first, leaving you craving for more. "trust me, i liked you so much i was so scared you didnt feel the same way despite you teasing me the way you did." you chuckled as you pecked his cheek. "you drive me insane.." he softly spoke. "y/n, every time i tried to say something.. my brain just went to mush.. its so bad i swear. i could only be this confident with the lights off.." beomgyu laughed as his eyes began to trail your facial features. he was admiring every curve and feature, and at that point, both your faces were impossibly red. "gyu.. can you just.. kiss me again..?" your voice came out hardly a whisper. "i like you so much i feel like im going insane from the way you just confessed." he smiled fondly at your words and nodded, leaning in once again. as soon as your lips touched you could both practically feel the electricity pouring through your bodies. as if on cue, thunder struck the moment you connected again. your arms wrapped impossibly tight around him, slightly tugging and playing with his hair. his arms remained at your waist, slightly circling over the shirt you wore. you could feel the warmth of his fingers through the fabric.

his tongue slightly swiped along your lips for permission, and you parted your lips in response. having his tongue explore your mouth had your brain going numb. time felt like it had stopped, with just the rain as your only witness to the quiet whispers and confessions that only you two could hear. when you both finally were running out of breath, you separated with beomgyu looking into your eyes. you stared back, lips equally as glossy as his. "are you.. going back to your dorm yet?" thunder struck once again, as if responding to his question. you smiled. "its raining a little too hard dont you think?" beomgyu chuckled, realizing how silly his question was. "yeah. youre right, i think you should stay." you bit your lip as you pulled off each other, both of you immediately missing the warmth. beomgyu shook his head fixing his now fluffed hair thanks to you as he ran his fingers through. he then stood up to turn the led light he had turned off previously back on. "so.. how about we watch a movie?" he spoke as the light clicked. you could almost burst into laughter from the question given the events that just happened a minute prior. give it to choi beomgyu, your best friend, to turn a situation less awkward by simply being his charismatic self. the personality you fell for since day one of knowing him.

"sure gyu, but.." you trailed off, shy about what you were about to say next. honestly, could this get any more awkward? "yeah?" he turned to you and tilted his head in that attractive way he does. "leave the lights off." you looked at him with a shy smile. he flushed at your words. and for the last time again, lightning struck. "yeah.. lights off" he replied, led light clicking once again.

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey angels! I’m still on break but I wanted to show you guys how powerful the law is, and how it’s in effect with everything even when we don’t notice!

Here’s everything I’ve manifested in this year alone !

🌸70,000$ in school scholarships. My tuition does not even cost that much so most of it will be coming back to my credit card shortly

🌸an older sister. I’m the oldest child in my household, and as any older sibling knows it’s so hard. You have to lead, yet have no one to look up to for advice yourself. Anyways my dad got in touch with his old wife, and my mom who was once reluctant to let my half siblings in my life, now encouraged it! My older half sister is literally just like me. We now FaceTime, she defends me when I’m scared, she buys me stuff all the time because she has hella money, and I go to her apartment for sleep overs. I am very lucky and happy to finally have the older sister I’ve always wanted.

🌸an old friendship! I remember in 2020 I was friends with this girl and we were both super depressed, had similar circumstances, and were into manifesting+astrology. I’m sure she’s one my twin flame, and the friendship ended over the dumbest thing ever. Anyways for a year I used dumb methods like the 333 method, sp methods to get her to text me, stuff like that. I ended up giving up but earlier this year I was thinking about her, yanno just wondering where she is. She sent me a heart felt apology the next day. I manifested her without even trying!

🌸All As in school without trying.

🌸losing weight the more I eat. Y’all I’m 5’5 and 112 pounds, yet I eat like an Olympic gold medalists. I don’t even eat healthy and knowing myself.. well that’s something that’s not going to change lol. Anytime I would eat a lot, I would just say the more I eat, the more I lose and the healthier I am…and I never gained a single pound. Only lost! Don’t worry I’m still healthy and my doctors say I’m in a healthy range still, so as long as that continues healthily I’m fine.

🌸my family winning the lottery through the void state. I won’t say specific numbers but it’s in the 7 figure range, and was my first void success! I’m going to keep manifesting and exploring the void to have more stuff in the future!

🌸(dumb) but clearing my name in the unique situation. i remember just affirming the truth always comes out and she got exposed a few hours later. aside from the hate from her anons, I left the situation unscathed for the most part 😮‍💨

🌸not having seasonal depression this year. I did not manifest my depression or anxiety away for personal reasons, before anyone starts! But due to the combination of manifesting and just having a better overall life, it honestly did not affect me much this year.

🌸getting results from subliminals without even listening to them. I left my subliminal era a couple of years ago, and I don’t really use them anymore. But sometimes I come across a really cool one with dope benefits, and I want to use it bc.. why not lol. But I don’t really like listening to them, so I just wrote down that I can listen to it once and after that my brain memorizes the sequence and it works it out repeatedly even when it’s not playing and I’ve definitely noticed results.

🌸manifesting my best friend’s cancer away! I already made a post about this, but this was my favorite manifestation of this year.

🌸every single one of my shifts

🌸so many free things!

🌸and so much more, but these are my favorites!

[thecapricunt1616]

Daddy!Carmy holding his baby for the first time

Another unformated daddy!carmy blurb below I’m sick thanks to @carmenberzattosgf !!!

After an agonizing hour and fifteen minutes of pushing, your son had been born luckily scream crying. You had been more relieved then you ever felt in your life to finally get him out. Who knew 7 and a half pounds could feel bigger then a bowling ball sitting on your cervix for more then a day.

Although active labor only lasted 4 hours, and pushing lasted nearly an hour and a half - the contractions lasted nearly thirty hours. Carmy of course was near your side the entire time, allowing you to squeeze his hand and arm as hard as you needed to.

He brought you ice water while you bounced on your yoga ball and grunted through contractions, he knelt holding your hand while you tried to ease the pain through a hot bath, bundled up and held your hand as you curb walked in the chilly Chicago Fall weather.

He made you the spiciest Mexican food you could handle at your request, and ate it with you - sniffles and watery eyes and all. He gave you perennial massages (both of you shuddered at the idea to begin with - but you were both ready for this torture to be over so anything that would speed up the process you tried). He’d had sex with you which funny enough eased the contraction pain for the duration which you appreciated.

He tried stimulating your nipples, the man literally called his sister and listed off the things the two of you had tried already to try and get advice. To which, she gave the golden advice of ‘just have sex again! Like- as much as you can. For some reason it works. They may be grossed out by it I don’t know!’ And with 2 more rounds you were 4 minutes apart which per your midwife was the golden time to go.

She had met you there, and made sure to advocate to your nurses your birthing plan of a water birth and not having anyone other then her and Carmy in the room other then the one doctor and 2 nurses needed to observe the midwife as she’d helped deliver. Carmy had nearly passed out probably 3 times the midwife had told you after, you were too busy - well..getting a baby out of you, but thankfully he kept it together.

2 pushes before the baby had been delivered, you panicked. You had felt the ring of fire, it felt like it would never stop- and you felt like the baby had been in the same spot for the last 5 pushes you’d done, all which your midwife had counted to ten- and your baby still wasn’t out. Carmy though, even in his own panic somehow got it together enough to kiss your forehead and tell you that this was the most amazing thing he had ever been able to witness and that he knew with how strong you���d been this entire laboring process this final stint would be a breeze if you just focus on him and listen to him reminding you how amazing you are and how much he loves you and how lucky this baby is to have you as their mom and without you even realizing, your baby was out.

You realized when the midwife called your attention, and you weren’t surprised to see Carmy having his hands below, ready and waiting to catch his babe and and him to the midwife to which she put him on your chest and the little baby boy screeched. It was the best thing you’d ever heard, you looked at your baby and it was like you and him were the only thing in the world, you didn’t even realize you were sobbing. You didn’t even realize your midwife had to rub Carmys back to coax his face away from being pressed to yours to cut the cord.

He gladly accepted, remembering how they taught him in birthing class and the midwife added the clamp as the nurse came over and suctioned the baby’s mouth out. He helped you unhook your nursing bra and get the baby settled against your skin “Levi” he whispered through his tears and you looked up at him

“He’s a boy?” You question, looking at the little baby who was lifting and dropping his head in search of some well needed food after his long awaited grand entrance.

“He’s a boy” he smiled tearfully, rubbing his little back and massaging the stickiness in that you’d learned in birthing class was actually really good for their skin and immunity.

“I- I feel-“ you pouted “like- like I missed it” you started to cry guiltily, looking at your son “I’m so sorry angel” you sniffle, as your baby carelessly sucks at your breast with closed eyes and clutches Carmys finger.

“No-no baby” he pet your hair gently, “remember? They said it’s just the adrenaline. Shhh. You’ll remember. Want me to tell you? I’ll tell you everything honey and I bet it’ll come back t’you, yeah?” He coaxes, kissing your temple “you did so amazing baby -“ his voice wavered as he tried his best to hold back tears “I promise I’ve never seen anything more fuckin beautiful yeah? It’ll come back I know it will” he kissed the top of your head sweetly.

One of the nurses came over, taking baby’s temperature and making sure he was adjusting okay before taking him to do his shots since he was done nursing for the time being, and the other nurse and midwife helped you deliver the placenta while he followed them to give the shots like you’d discussed.

The next time you saw him was a good 45 minutes later, after the baby had been weighed, given his shots, gotten his apgar test, physical exam, got his eye drops, and done his genetic screening - and Carmy was following the nurse as she wheeled little Levi in the room.

“My boys!” You said tiredly, sitting up and untying your specially bought birthing gown Carmy had found online. The nurse holds up her hand for you to stop

“Little ‘Bear’ here has a full tummy still, he won’t be hungry for another three hours or so. Daddy here is gonna get some skin to skin, mommy why don’t you sleep” she explained and Carmy kissed your head.

“I got em sweetheart” he told you and set down a ‘mommy cocktail’ as the nurse had told him, which was 2 hospital cranberry juices, 2 orange juices, and one pineapple, packed with ice. You took a sip and hum, eyes fluttering shut and head falling back onto the one of many pillows Carmy made sure to bring for you that he bought for this exact reason (sugar told him hospital pillows were uncomfortable - he took the one they left on the bed that he replaced with the comfortable $20 ones he brought for you and realized she was in fact right, his neck had kinks he didn’t know could exist.)

“Love you” you puckered your lips and he kissed you sweetly, lingering just long enough to satisfy you before sitting down on the recliner. He tugged off his classic white shirt, reclining back and the nurse unwrapped the babe, placing him on Carm’s chest to which he scrunched up. You were so exhausted, you couldn’t have witnessed it if you tried. But, Carmy was committing the entire interaction to memory, he would replay this interaction over and over in his mind for the rest of his life.

“Hey, heeey there little man” he whispered and the nurse smiled, covering the babe with the blanket he had been swaddled in when he came in with him and kissing his head. He nearly giggled, looking up at the nurse. “He..he smells good. Is that weird? Er like…creepy?” He could barely contain the happy tears rolling down his face that hadn’t stopped since he caught him when he first came into the world.

The nurse just smiled, shaking her head amusedly. “That’s parenthood. Welcome honey. You seem to be a natural. The third drawer is stuffed with Huggies and desitin- only buy desitin hear me?” She opened the drawer. “Second is for” she silently points to you as to not disturb you. “We have witch hazel pads, ice packs, numbing spray - I expect this cart to be cleared out tomorrow when you leave, mm?” She shuts it and he nods with a thankful smile.

“Thank you” he said just before Levi throws up milk all over his chest, causing him to scrunch his nose and hold back a gag.

“Rule one” she took the baby, patting his back and handing him a burp cloth. “Staying ready means you don’t have to get ready, dad. Always have a burp cloth ready honey” she pointed to her own shoulder, covered with another cloth as she pats his little back, bouncing him gently.

Carmy nodded, holding his breath as to not smell the sweet bitter baby vomit smell.

“Noted.”

[nthspecialll]

When it comes to Abigail Marston leaving John in 1907, a lot of people throw mean comments at her, say that she was unfair for doing so and a lot of other things, however I think that people fail to consider the time that this game is set. This is not our modern day woman, this is 1907, and it might sound like I am stating the obvious but by the hatred that she gets it I think it needs to be said again.

1907!

Do you know the rights that women had then? Or the lack of. Women were bound to their husbands, they weren't allowed to own close to anything and were only allowed to vote in about 4 different states, some women that is. Women were seen as a servant to her husband.

It was also hard for women to earn money, the average woman over 16 working in a factory (as the majority was) earned 5-6 or 6-7 dollars a week, a week! Eggs on average costed 29 cents by the doz, a pound of round steak cost 15 cents and half a gallon of milk costed 15 cents as well.

What about rent? New Austin, which Blackwater and the surrounding area is in, is based of Texas which in 1904 had a rent per room pr month of 28 dollars.

So why would Abigail ever go through all of that? Because of John, because of Jack. Abigail stuck around John for eight years, practically begging him to fix himself, to become better because she knew that she was pretty much dependant on him, because she needs his support to be able to live and she wants to give her boy a chance at a better life but she can't with John constantly picking fights and literally putting her and her son's lives at risk.

A lot of people make it seem like she just suddenly took that chocie, but she didn't, it was a choice that most likely took her years not just due to the financial burden but also the social burden that comes with being a single mom in a time where pre-material sex was seen as a death sin. She could very well be killed merely for being seen with Jack and without a husband.

And not just that, but it was probably also a hard choice because despite of everything she loves John, she really does, yes she screams at him for going out with Saide but who wouldn't. "She won't allow him freedom," no she is scared he is going to die, for us it is easy to say "he isn't going to" because he is a main character and we can just redo if we die taking on twenty skinner brothers or whatnot, but it isn't like that for her. I want you to imagine that your partner/friend/parent told you they were going to fight a gang of who knows how many, you are going to be scared no matter how skilled that friend is because you don't want to lose them. John himself admits it is dangerous work by saying "we always find a way to almost get killed, dont we?" Which Sadie agees to.

Abigail took the choice to leave, putting herself in a terrible situation, not for herself, but for her son. She gave up her one true love so that her son could have a chance at life, have a chance to be better than her and John. It was not easy and it is not something we should shame her for, if anything we should praise her for putting her son before herself.

I love John, I really do, but I think it shows just how shitty of a father he really was, and that Abigail leaving was exactly the push he needed to get himself together, it was the wake-up call he needed. He knew how shitty women had it, he would have to realize how terrible he must have been for her to prefer that over him.

Now am I saying Abigail did everything right? No, she did not. Although I understand her fustrations with him doing bounties she has to realize she is not in a place to be picky about jobs. She did ask John to take on a huge debt for the farm and John is right in one thing "it is legal work that I can handle," and while the farm is taking some time to get up and running it is the best form of income that they have access to.

Now to talk about her annoyance with John going after Micah, it is understandable as it could trigger a decline to their former life of crime or just lead to straight up death. It is unnecessary, revenge is unnecessary, meaning that John is risking their entire life for "nothing." He argues back with "I am doing it for Arthur" but again, yes Micah killed Arthur but killing Micah wont change that, killinh Micah will not bring Arthur back nor put him in a better situation, it is revenge, it is not nessesary, it doesn’t do any good.

If John had died she would not only have lost her husband but also the farm, as women could not own property. I am not that knowledgable on debt laws in 1907, but I would imagine that in some way or another the massive debt John got would end up with her or Jack either way, putting her in a terrible situation.

@heavenlymorals made a similar post back in may 11th where they also explore and explain Mary Linton and Abigail in 1899, it is really amazing and also puts some other light on it.

Sources:

Rent, page 369: https://fraser.stlouisfed.org/title/annual-report-commissioner-labor-6306/eighteenth-annual-report-commissioner-labor-608452?start_page=370

Food, page 233: https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=umn.31951000014585x&seq=233

Wages, page 15: https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=nnc1.cu56779232&seq=15

[absolutebl]

Ranking Every Restaurant Based BL

As of August 2024. Shows not yet finished by that date are not on this list. Otherwise, features any BL set in the restaurant & beverage industry (that I've watched). I did not include the home cook domestic BLs on this list (like Our Dining Table).

1 To My Star

Korea 2021 Viki

10/10

Hwang Da Seul directing this show about a neurotic actor (actual puppy) who takes refuge with a grumpy chef resulting in sparks, cooking lessons, and LOVE! It’s is a touch quirky to get into, but utterly charming once it hits its stride. This is the ultimate grumpy/sunshine pairing plus the most appealing light-filled kitchen of our dreams. I adore this show so much. Limited use of BL tropes makes this feel more of a sweet contemporary gay romance between an actor plagued by scandal and the grumpy chef who adopts him, but the gentleness will appeal to fans of the BL genre.

2 What Zabb Man!

Thai 2022 YouTube

8/10

Star Hunter's WZM was better than we had any right to expect, with decent pacing and a foodie theme threaded through the narrative as both love language and plot driver. Basically CEO falls in love with a street vendor’s food, recruits him to work in his hotel, falls in love with him, and that’s just the beginning. Class struggles! Kitchen drama! Papaya pounding (not a euphemism)! Chef poaching (not literally)! Spicy scenes (yes both kinds)! It’s all so delicious.

3 DNA Says Love You

Taiwan 2022 Gaga

8/10

Okay it's only in a cafe about 1/2 the time but it is the main setting if not the plot. DNA deserves extra marks for an upbeat approach to a queer story arc that other shows have systemically mishandled with sadness (in the guise of realism). There is a twist, which I found predictable, but knowing what would happen didn't spoil this show. The leads are luminous and engaging, and it’s full of queer found family representation and an unexpected amount of domesticity, plus it’s Taiwan, so the kisses are great. The first few eps are rough going but have patience, it's worth it I promise! The second half is really special and life/love affirming - and the end is big-grin charming.

4 The Tasty Florida

Korea 2021 Viki https://www.viki.com/tv/38119c-the-tasty-florida

8/10

Not really a love triangle featuring the prettiest men ever to be grouped together outside of K-pop, honestly the visuals are ridiculous, there’s a story, it has to do with food, whatever, they so pretty. I have a weakness for this BL and it's entirely Speed's fault.

5 My Day

Pinoy 2020 YouTube

8/10

The set up on this one is enemies (also boss/employee) and they don’t like each other to start. But that gets resolved pretty quickly. And then they are some of the cutest, hottest, and best boyfriends ever. This is an under-appreciated BL, IMHO. It's also more set in the office of a food creation company, but there is a lot about food.

6 My Tooth Your Love

Taiwan 2023 Viki

8/10

Earnest dentist hottie with sad eyes who worries too much is smitten by an adorable sunshine neurotic bar owner with serious anxiety issues. They fall madly in love while courting each other with food, plushies, and naps. Then, shocker, talk about their feelings and try to actually sort out their problems so they can have an adult relationship. Bonus crumbs = 18 year old poor little rich kid in mad crush with a much older man. I really enjoyed this show, it had a unique premise, killer dialogue, there was a solid lead pair with charmg chemistry, soft flirtation, delightful smiling kisses, and stinkingly cute domesticity. All that said, I wasn’t wild about some of the darker themes it explored, even though it did a good job with them. And while the sides were adorable, they were underused. In the land of May/December, baby boy kabedon is my kryptonite! Why so little of it? (Kabedon is My Krytonite = also the name of my indie band’s first single.)

7 All the Liquors

Korea 2023 Viki & Gaga

8/10

A pretty classic foodie set KBL that managed to distinguish itself from others in this category by having a particularly satisfying final episode centered around found family. Sunshine sweetie soju rep gets involved with a shy introvert chef who doesn’t drink. This has a somewhat uneven plot and ridiculous central conceit (much in the way of Tasty Florida), but if you are looking for a restaurant BL with Korea’s signature softness, then this is a great option. FYI I may identify with our baby party boy hedonist more than any other BL lead ever presented.

8 Although I Love You and You - Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka

Japan 2024 Gaga

8/10

The promise of this show, younger cook courts older divorced office worker, should have been my catnip. I mean if someone pitched this to me in an elevator I would have downloaded it by the second storey. Unfortunately, it did not exactly fulfil that promise, not in the way I'd hoped. Did I still enjoy the ride? Yes, but I feel a little let down.

9 Ocean Likes Me

Korea 2022 Viki https://www.viki.com/tv/38367c-ocean-likes-me

8/10

Stars Kpop’s best known out gay singer, Holland & Han Gi Chan (Where Your Eyes Linger). Noodle shop! Broken dreams! This is a solid little KBL, with a good premise and cast. Manic pixie dream boy can get old fast but when contrasted with awkward grumpy chef? It’s a tasty combo that elevates both ingredients. Holland is a charming screen presence - baby boy is HYPNotiC. And while I wasn’t entirely sold on the chemistry, these two did give us some very good kisses and sweet domesticity. I grinned through most episodes and I didn’t even mind the standard KBL 1 year separation at the end because it felt so true to the characters. Is this Korea's first out gay actor in a BL? I think it might be.

10 My Sweet Dear

Korea 2021 Viki

8/10

I liked this one a lot better than most. Strict professional rivals (chefs) in a very enemies to lovers BL - to the point where we mistrust the sincerity of the seme because he’s so very in it to win. I kinda like that, because kitchens are hotbeds of drama, and I like a seme with some sinister edge. But be warned, it means the whole romance comes off as a little disingenuous.

11 You Are Ma Boy

Vietnam 2021 YouTube

7/10

The leads in this drama crackle on screen together and I kinda adore them. No one has seen this BL, and you should really give it a try. Is there angst? Nope even what could have been angst (a gay idol) doesn’t materialize, it’s just cuties in a cafe confusing each other with cat & mouse games. The side het couple is a touch disturbing, tho.

12 My Lascivious Boss

Vietnam 2021 YouTube

7/10

While it did have pacing issues and some questionable content at the beginning, MLB’s unabashed queerness carried it though and ultimately elevated it with camp. It never felt like mockery or punching down, it felt joyful, and very new wave BL. It’s as if Vietnam is starting a process of handing out HEAs to all the letters of LGBTQ+ in BL style - I love this look for them.

13 Pure Vanilla

Singapore 2023 microfilm Gaga

7/10

It’s very sweet. Bit awkward acting. I love seeing real tats. I wish Singapore would give us a full proper BL.

14 La Cuisine

Thai 2022 Gaga

7/10

A sweet and somewhat pure show, and like the Thai desserts it features, perhaps requires too much patience for a layperson. Because of the pacing and the focus on a bad girl character, I did dock it. But if you like stuff in the Oxygen vein, then this show is for you, and far better than most Thai BL pulps. That said, I suspect that I enjoyed it more than many would.

15 My Universe - Lucky Love

Thai 2023 iQIYI

7/10

A boy suffering heartbreak is asked to look after a friend's restaurant, and meets a young chef whose food brings on a relationship. I enjoyed this 2 part installment, it’s a bit of a sad sack recovery SAGA, but the acting is genuine, the couple believable, and the story felt particularly queer to me. It was really quite charming.

16 Cooking Crush

Thai 2024 YouTube

7/10

1/3 of this is a sweet romance about a student doctor falling in love with a student chef, and the rest of it is utter dross. Look the OffGun bits were GREAT. In fact, I think they’re better AS A PAIR in this show than in any of their other BLs. And I'm a hard sell on any OffGun being better here than PickRome. Saying that, how can I review a show where I could only tolerate 1/3 of it? Because I didn’t like any other aspect of this show, no other pairs and no other plots. That gives me: 9/10 for the OffGun bits, 5/10 for everything else. Frankly, it probably should be an 8 but I gotta go with my gut and it's UPSET about this so 7/10. Sorry boys. It’s GMMTV’s fault. Your heart was in this show, mine wasn’t.

17 Love in Translation

Thai 2023 iQIYI

6/10

A sweet little pulp about a Thai boy with a crush on a Chinese influencer who ends up in a business relationship with her ex-bf. This show had truly great chemistry between the leads, cute found family with good rep, and an exciting (if silly) ending that almost, but didn't quite, make up for how incredibly annoying the main character was in the first half. Gotta say the make-out scene in the convenience store is one of the greatest in Thai BL history, but I can't like a show where I dislike the main character to such a degree, sorry DouOffroad I intend to enjoy your next offering.

18 Please Tell Me So

Korea 2021 microfilm YouTube

Cute barista (played by Han Hyun Jun star of Love Class) has a crush on his customer, musters up the courage to ask him out.

19 Love Advisor

Thai 2021 microfilm YouTube

6/10

Set in a cafe but not about cafe workers, this is an actor’s piece, more like a one act stage performance about friends to lovers and miscommunication.

20 VIP Only

Taiwan 2024 Gaga

6/10

A sweet if aimless story about a writer and a chef finding love via noodles, fake dating, and family challenges. If it had a tighter script and a shorter run, more like a KBL this might’ve been quite special. But it didn’t and it lost me too many times.

21 609 Bedtime Story

Thai 2023 WeTV

6/10

Okay it's sometiems set in a club but that's not really part of the... plot. An interesting time slip concept and a great set up ultimately disappointed. It opened strong, on one of my favourite under appreciated Thai actors: Plustor (as Vee) in a side bartender romance with younger bisexual king, Games. Unfortunately, it went downhill from there. OhmFluke’s solid chemistry and romantically soft kisses were ill served by a reformed rake meets rich-kid cheater pairing. While it was nice to see Ohm play a part with more animated facial expressions, his was the only character that remained consistent. All in all, this was a confusing show about disloyalty and parallel worlds that never made sense or stayed true to its characters. A promising start, confusing middle, and disappointing end. I don’t say this lightly, but Oh My Sunshine Night is better, and OhmFuke deserve better than either.

22 Bake Me Please

Thai 2023 Gaga

6/10

A lackluster story about a group of bakers coping with (mostly) a shoddy script that could not be saved by either the beauty nor the talent of the actors involved. It suffered for lack of narrative backbone and so did I.

23 Bite Me

Thai 2021 Viki

6/10 (yeah I'mm surprise too, I thought I gave this a 5)

Thailand gave us Korean style slowly simmering ultra soft and sweet BL only at a Thai length so the pacing was… not good. Slower than molasses and full of insane subtext, long gazes, missing dialogue, abrupt mood swings, and one very pretty kiss. It curdled around episode 8, the sauce split, and there was no saving it. It did have some of the best food porn I’ve seen in my life, and I watch cooking shows regularly. It was beautiful, the leads were decent, it should have right up my alley, and yet… it left me with a feeling of disaffected ennui - bland and boring and unsatisfying. 11 courses of tasty tasty pacing issues.

24 One Last Order

Korea 2019 microfilm Gaga

5/10

Extremely hot cafe customer has to figure out which of the cutie baristas has a crush on him and sends hime poetry.

25 Craving You

Taiwan 2020 Viki

5/10

Honestly, I haven't rewatched this since it aired and I maybe might cut it more slack now. About a jerk of a cook with a crush on a musician and having to make a cake for a gay wedding.

26 Coffee Melody

Thai 2022 Viki

5/10

Stars Pavel (my love) as a cafe owner (Forth in 2 Moons 2) and Benz as a composer (Call it What You Want). This should have been my kind of BL - on the fluffy end of the spectrum plus honestly queer. Unfortunately, the slow pacing, manufactured angst, odd secondary story arcs, and a selfishly immature unlikeable wet dishcloth main character, meant its flaws outweighed its charm. Jean (flame on snark fairy) is ME, I love him so much but in the end neither he nor Pavel in an apron could save this show for me. It’s not bad. It’s not good either. Ultimately so forgettable I’ve probably already forgotten it. There is also a Coffee Melody holiday special.

27 Evening Cafe

Thai 2021 YouTube

5/10

Cafe setting with no heat and no kisses (almost Chinese in this regard), but a decent lead pair. About a boy who works in a cafe and the new employee who has a crush on him. That’s it, whole story.

28 Love Area: Part 1

Thai 2021 Gaga

5/10

It ended on a cliffhanger and I'm still annoyed by it. But it is somewhat set at a restaurant.

29 Love Next Door 2

Thai 2014 Gaga

4/10

One of Thailand’s early very high heat pieces, it’s odd, but sexy I guess? Some unexpectedly decent queer rep at the cafe including femme characters getting screen time and HEAs. Part one from 2013 has the same high heat content and feature the same lead character (and actor) early on in his queer journey, discovering he is gay with the sex worker next door, but isn't as good nor is it relevant to this story. Which, unfortunately, also isn't very good.

30 The Promise

Thai 2023 WeTV

4/10

Although well acted this show dragged a too simple premise out into the ultimate manipulative miscommunication repeats of idiotic "why don’t you just TALK!?” Phu & Nan are childhood bffs through college (almost lovers) until Phu disappears. After looking/waiting for him, Nan gives up and self isolates, and the actual story takes place 10 years later. Phu’s “reason” and inability to say it out loud makes the whole show just frustrating, squandering good chemistry, and a stellar cast of multiple faen fatals (whose personalities would’ve made them better boyfriends). Seriously do not bother. What a damn waste of talent, time, and electronic bandwidth. Fatally flawed.

31 Love Area: Part 2

Thai 2022 Gaga

3/10

It wasn't as boring as Bite Me, but it wasn’t actually good, either. This started out as Thailand tackles love triangles pulp style, but in part 2 lockdown changed everything. Valen & Kaitoon dropped some great kisses but traded off crazy hair and makeup in a scene-by-scene whiplash that was clearly pickups done months after lockdown, and the second lead vanished. It was... surreal. Side dishes jumped up screen time but tackled mental health... badly. A fantastic new queer side character was randomly introduced, June, who was the best thing to happen to BL linguistics in 2022 but had nothing to do with the rest of the cast, show, or plot. What a mess. In the end, I didn’t know what I was watching, and neither did it.

32 Cafe In Love

Thai 2023 grey

3/10

A café setting featuring 3 couples with a great queer fam but held together by tropes and sexual-harassment, surrounded by dubious consent and statutory rape. Avoid.

33 I Am Your King 2

Thai 2019 grey

3/10

Early love triangle BL about a cafe boy caught between two brothers, mostly not good because the wrong brother wins. Has no connection to the original I Am Your King.

34 Senior Love Me

Thai 2023 YouTube

3/10

Pulp cafe, nothing happens, not even a BL

35 Jealousy is My Guest

Korea 2016 microfilm Gaga

2/10

Just very very odd and kinda deadly.

I also have 3 unrated DNFs in this sub genre:

Accomplishment of Fudanshi Bartender AKA Fudanshi Bartender no Tashinami - Japan 2022

My Story - Pinoy 2023

About Us but Not About Us 0 Pinoy 2022

Restaurant & beverage is my favourite possible setting for a BL. I'm extremely disappointed that the BL world hasn't produced more that I truly love. I'm not demanding 10/10 but I could use some 9/10s.

Side eyes Thailand and Japan.

(source)

[elis-blawg222]

November 7 - Thursday

Yesterday was lowkey... kind of awful! (in terms of eating at least)

I went to my classes yesterday which actually made me cry... ha. I wasn't planning on going, but when I woke up my body felt well rested and I realized I really don't need to miss anymore class. I was so mentally exhausted, but I forced myself to get ready, plus even Angel said I should go, and what he says goes.

In the end, I'm glad I went because we had a test review in one of my classes. Before that I cried in the library LOL (2 cry seshes in one morning?? new record)

I went home on my little break between my classes, and I said hi to my mom. When I was there she told me "You're eating when you come home" like what. And I felt really upset.

When I went home, she offered me some chicken with some kind of sauce on it and potato wedges. I took them and trashed almost all of it. However, my efforts were in vain because later on she tried to get me to eat AGAIN, and this time I had to. I told her I was full (because I was because I ate a piece of that pie that I got her that's been there for a week...) and (she watched me eat it by the way.) she was like no youre not basically andddd yeah.

She got one of those umm. Tostitos pizza things. And that was our dinner with homemade ranch. I cut my pizza into 4 smaller rectangles. I tried to give my dad one of my squares when he stopped by, but all he took was a bite. (sobs)

Then, I gave like maybe a bit more than a half of my last rectangle to my mom BECAUSE I WAS FULL and she had the audacity to be like "oh you only ate 2 rectangles, didn't you give your dad that other piece." and basically say I didn't even eat a lot and how am I even full "What did you even eat" do you wantmetokillmyselfinfrontofyou woman omfg.

wtv I was soo over it. Also from Wednesday to Thursday morning sooomee how I lost a pound....

????

I literally don't know how that's possible but ok. I feel like after this I gained it back plus 30 more ugh. I just feel so stuck I wish she would leave me aloooone :((

I also only got 2.7k steps in, I really have to do better in every single way before I implode.

[angesaurus]

I do feel a little like ✨trash✨today. Yesterday was a very long day. We literally had to be at the soccer field @ 7:50am for photos. It was hell getting out of the house on time because Dan, who reassured me that “he got it” did indeed not have it, and therefore it was chaos and then Cecilia had her actual game (they won!) and then we had to stay for Gavin’s team photos (I sat in my chair and read on my kindle) and then we ran to Wawa for a quick snack/lunch and then drove 25 minutes away to Gavin’s game (he also won!) and it was VERY hot and the sun was pounding down and it just wore me out a little. And of course my parents came (which is nice that they drove extra for an away game!) and of course they came to my (incredibly messy) house after and we went to linner (late lunch early dinner) and THEN I had a ticket (thanks, coworker!!!!! Saved me $10) to the half price pre sale at the huge consignment sale I go to for the kids clothes so we went to THAT and didn’t get home until like 8 and we just were all so tired and then I ate ice cream which wrecked my stomach and I woke up with one of those scratchy throats that you know is from stale air and the weather being weird and from being burnt out. But then I drank some hot coffee and felt better but I still have 8000 things to do today to get ready for the week. And Dan is coaching all morning and Gavin has parkour tonight. I cleaned the bathroom real quick and need to do tons of laundry and clean most of the rest of the house because I have zero time during the week 🤗 we also have no groceries (Dan is our grocery buyer so he handles that) and I just feel like I very much do not have anything together right now. 5 days of work and only 2 days off is so so hard.

[hanniesss]

☁️ if you want to | han jisung

pairing: han jisung x fem! reader

warnings: cursing, simpsung

wc: 870

sung 💝| wanna go out tonight?

you stare at the text for a second, thinking hard on the question. you miss your best friend, you really do, but you’re tired.

idk jisung i’m tireddddd

sung 💝| comeon y/nnnn pleassseeeeeeeee

ugh fine.

sung💝| pick you up at 7 😈

well, with that being said, you throw yourself on your bed to soak in your hour and a half of free time. you think about what’s gonna happen tonight. you’re going out, probably to the local bar, with jisung and the boys who are gonna want to drink which means they’re gonna want you to drink as well. your head pounds at the mere thought of it. maybe you’ll be the driver tonight!

too lazy to get up and shower or get ready, you lay in bed and tell yourself you’ll get up later. your heavy eyelids convince you that you’ll have time to get dressed after this quick nap..

——————————————————————————

you awake to your phone ringing next to you along with banging on your door.

you rapidly blink and try to grasp ahold of the situation when you hear a familiar voice behind the door, “y/n?” it’s jisung.

your eyes dart to the screen of your phone, ‘7:05’ it reads.

“shit.”

you scurry to the door and pull it open to face a worried/angry/holywowhelookssogood jisung.

“shit, sung i’m so sorry!-”

“y/n what the hell? i called you like 6 times. i literally told you to be ready too-” he rambles on and on.

you pout and look at the ground, “ ‘m sorry sung.”

he really looks at you for the first time since he’s gotten there. you, with your disheveled hair and slightly smudged mascara. the band tee (his) and shorts that are barely visible. you’re his weakness and he can’t be mad at you and, to make it worse, you’re pouting at him!!! how can you do that!!!

“hey, it’s okay, i’m sorry. what happened, baby?” he pushes the door more open so he can get through the doorway and bring you into a hug.

with your face buried in his chest, you mumble, “i was really tired, sung. i’m sorry for messing up your plans. you can go without me.”

thank god he was alone and wasn’t riding the boys around too, or else this would’ve been thrice as embarrassing.

“nah it’s okay, i don’t really care about going out, just wanted to see my best friend,” he says and smiles into the top of your hair. your hand finds his and you squeeze it.

“you don’t have to. if you think i’m a bum it’s okay…”

“i do think you’re a bum, but i’ll stay with you anyway. are you hungry?” he asks and takes out his phone to send the boys a text apologizing for his absence tonight.

“no, i’m still tired though.” he giggles at your reappearing pout and drags you to your room, laying with you on the bed.

“well then, let’s take a nap!” he throws a leg over you and clings to you while fake snoring. you laugh and wiggle around trying to get him off of you, “jiiii let me gooooo!!!” your hands shoot straight to his exposed stomach and you tickle him. jisung is very ticklish. he shoots up and flops around the bed every which way like fish while pleading for you to stop.

“okay! okay, that’s enough!!” he yells at you.

after calming down, he remains in the same spot, his head in your lap and laying down, while you were sat upright playing with his bangs.

he studies you from below, and his fingers come up to tug at your shirt.

“i like this, where’d you get it?” he says with a grin, already knowing the answer. you scoff and roll your eyes, “just some lunatic.”

he gasps dramatically and pulls you down to lay with him. you breathe in the scent of jisung and it’s so comforting. you close your eyes again. “jisung?”

“hm?” you feel the vibrations of his chest. “can you read me a story?”

at your words, he gets up and makes his way over to the bookshelf. he picks out a book for you and tells you to cover your eyes. you comply and hear footsteps, the cling of your lamp as he turns it on and your lights off. you feel the bed dip under his weight and he lays the covers over you two. he scooches closer to you to where you feel his body warmth on your entire left side.

he clears his throat, “once upon a time, there were four little rabbits, and their names were Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail, and Peter.”

you open your eyes in delight, “peta rabbit!” you say in a mock british accent.

“yup, our favorite,” he smiles as you nuzzle up against him to look at the pictures while he continues to read to you.

heavy eyelids return and jisung’s voice soothes you. it floats throughout your head until you’re out.

the boy notices a minute later and runs his fingers through your hair while putting the book on the nightstand.

“goodnight y/n. i love you,” he whispers.

[gaysindistress]

When Night Comes- four

Summary: Who would win in a staring contest? New York’s resident mob boss and master of the side eye Bucky Barnes or the daycare teacher who really wants to go home and smoke?

pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x reader

warnings: cursing, mentions of blood drinking, creepy cab driver

word count: 3.2k

three | masterlist

Tag list: @vickie5446 @cakesandtom @buckybarnessimpp @hidden-treasures21​ @unaxv​ @mal-adaptive-dreams @elizacusi-blog

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on Google/Pinterest

Ping. 

Ping. 

A groan rips through her body as she blindly searches for her phone while it vibrates on the coffee table. Reaching across to the table, her upper half falls off the couch with a thud and another groan (this time one of pain) rings out. The phone ceases its dance on the table when her alarm stops and she just slides off the couch entirely in her sleepy state, laying on the floor in a heap of blankets as she opens her phone. As she guessed there are missed calls and unopened texts from Bucky but the text that isn’t from him stands out. 

Bravery should’ve been her last name for attempting to steal her away for a date the same night that Bucky had one planned. Well key word is had and since it is no longer on the books, accepting an invite from Yelena doesn’t seem like the worst idea she has ever had. A certain recent ex would be the worst idea she’s ever had but that’s a story for another time. At the moment, responding with “sounds good” as she struggles to stand amidst the blankets to get ready for the day are her only tasks in mind. 

Blackbear streams from under the bathroom door along side steam letting her know that Jessica is also getting ready and will probably make them both late if Sunny doesn’t demand she get out right now. 

“Jess!” she calls but gets no response. 

“Jess!” she tries a little louder before pounding in the door, “Jessica Lee Reyes get out of the shower! Other people need hot water too!”

Her laugher overpowers the sound of the water and music as it all comes to an abrupt stop and she swings the door open. 

“Calm your tits. I was literally about to get out,” she says as she slides past Sunny, a fog of steam following after her, “Did Bucky ever stop texting you last night?”

“Uh yeah,” Sunny’s voice is barely audible thanks to the fan but Jessica still hears. 

“Thank god. I almost blocked him for you. I really hate that guys can’t take a hint sometimes.”

“Yelena texted me though. She either is really lucky or knew that I canceled on him because she wants to go out tonight.”

Before she disappears entirely into her room,  Jessica freezes with glee at the mention of the blonde’s name, “Oh she did? And what did you say?” “Yes.”

“Thank Jesus! I’m so glad you’re finally starting to put my hard work to good use.” “Yeah, yeah whatever,” sarcasm is not uncommon with her but it’s extra thick when Jessica is around and even more so when it comes to debating Sunny’s love life. 

“I’m dressing you and you have absolutely no say.”

Sunny chuckles to herself while she strips off to get into the shower. Only god will be able to save her from whatever outfit Jess has in mind for her. 

The moment they had ended their second shift at 6pm, Jessica all but dragged her back to her apartment to get ready for her date with Yelena. She may not have been freaking out about it outwardly, every fiber of her being is on fire with anticipation of what the night has to bring. All Yelena told her was that she’d be there at 7 and that they’d be going out, other than that, she is in the dark and at the mercy of Jessica’s interpretation of ‘going out’. Her definition included putting Sunny in baggy black cargo pants and a black corset because “what’s hotter than the big pants and little top combo?” as she put it. 

“As hot as I might look, do you really think this is appropriate? Going out could mean so many things and wha…”

Jessica presses a finger to her lips, “I know Yelena and when she says going out, she means clubbing so this is… actually maybe you’re right. I think you need a skirt instead, ya know small bottoms, small top is better anyways.”

She leaves Sunny at her vanity staring at her reflection as she searches for that one skirt she swears will be the perfect addition. The woman at the vanity on the other hand, is mentally tearing herself to bits as she inspects every inch of herself that can be seen in the mirror. No matter how hard she tries, Bucky comes flooding back to the forefront of her mind as she looks over the makeup Jessica put on her. It’s simple, bordering the clean girl look and something she isn’t used to seeing staring back at her. It makes her wonder if she had tried harder, would she be getting ready for HIM instead? 

“Oh for the love of god,” she mumbles under her breath. She never even kissed him and this is the hold that he had over her? One close encounter and she’s consumed by him? Shaking her head to shake him from the inside of it, she picks up the lip gloss Jessica used earlier and reapplies it. The shiny gloss catches the vanity light and glitters, cheering her on and boosting her ego. 

“Found it!” Jessica calls from the closet and comes back to her with a pale pink mini skirt, “What do you think?” “I like the pants better.”

“Ugh, you’re boring but have it your way,” she flings the skirt behind her with a chuckle, “You are going to wear heels though.”

“We’re going to a club not to the Met Gala, I’m sure my air jordans will be perfectly fine.”

“Why won’t you let me live through you? I’ve always wanted to go out with Yelena and it’s only fair that I get to style you since I set you two up.”

Sunny whips around to face her, “You dragged me to a party after I said no and then left me alone with a grade A douchebag only to be saved by Yelena. I would, in no way, call that setting us up.”

“I got you there and you met her only because you went so yes, yes I did set you up thank you very much.”

Before Sunny can get a retort back, the front door opens and Yelena’s voice rings out, letting them know she’s here. 

“Do you ever lock you door, Jess? It’s really not safe,” she says, appearing in the doorway and leaning against the frame. 

“I knew you were coming so I left it unlocked.”

“I know you better than that, you forgot but good try,” she chuckles at her failed attempt to cover up the truth before settling her eyes on Sunny, “You look good, голубка. Are you ready?”

She can feel her friend vibrating with excitement from behind her at the nickname and turns to her date, nodding and standing up. It’s the prime opportunity to smack her ass so Jessica takes it as she says, “Good luck. Don’t have too much fun without me!”

She sends her friend a nasty death glare while her date and her laugh manically like little school girls at her expense. Yelena is quick to stifle her laughter with a smirk when Sunny brushes past her on her way out of the room. This is an even better opportunity to look at her ass as she walks away which doesn’t go unnoticed by Jessica. 

“God you’re no better than a man,” she chides while cleaning up the remnants of their get ready session. 

“Says the one who slapped it.”

“Go have fun and don’t bring her back until tomorrow morning,” Jessica sends her a wink as she slides off the frame and goes in search of Sunny who is muttering to herself as she searches for her purse. 

“Looking for this?” 

Quickly looking up, she spots Yelena holding her missing purse with a cat like grin and eyes glittering as they take in every ouch of skin her outfit leaves out. Nodding she takes it from her and slips into her leather jacket, still feeling the heat of her date’s gaze on her. It’ll either make for a torturously long night or a far too quick one if she keeps up the way her green eyes leave chemtrails across her skin. 

Clearing her throat, she says, “I’m ready if you are.”

The smirk doesn’t leave her face when her eyes make their way to Sunny’s, “Of course голубка.”

She offers out her own leather clad arm to her before leaving Jessica’s apartment and lecturing her about never locking her door. 

“The boogieman is going to get you one of these days!” is the last thing Jessica hears while the door is shut and the two woman leave the apartment complex. 

Their walk downstairs and out onto the street is filled with the normal small talk; how was your day, any funny stories, what’s your favorite color, you know the usual things. Sunny wants to ask if she knew about her date with Bucky but bringing up a rival suitor is definitely not the best idea when on a date. If Yelena does know anything about it, she doesn’t give it away and avoids saying his name when talking about her job. Come to think of it, she’s rather vague about her job description in general and only mentions how it’s boring and how she works with her sister, Natasha. It’s a given that she does work in the criminal world to some degree if she knows Bucky well enough to crash one of his homes but Sunny isn’t about to pry that information out of her on the first date. 

The standard creepy cab driver does nothing to assuage the idea that she’s a criminal. His lewd stares and borderline harassing remarks causes her to keep a protective hand on Sunny’s knee. She can see her free hand itch to reach for something hidden under her jacket the entire ride but it never leaves her lap. Several times Yelena had to interrupt him mid-sentence and even threatened to get out without paying if he didn’t keep his mouth shut. She would have or pulled the gun tucked against her side if Sunny hadn’t squeezed her hand to ground her. 

“Don’t. It’s not worth it.”

The murderous glare softened the moment it left the cab driver, “The moment you’re uncomfortable, we’ll get out, okay?”

The nod of confirmation wasn’t enough though for her, “I need you to say it, голубка.”

The air left like it had been sucked out of her lungs with the simple demand but she managed to mutter back “I promise I’ll tell you if I am.”

Satisfaction from both her reaction and her words, she keeps a tight grip on Sunny’s knee and rubs small circles into the inside of it. The simple action is burning through her pant leg, trailing upwards as she has struggles to maintain a calm and collective exterior. 

Once at the club, Yelena tosses the cash at the driver and gives him a side eye deadly enough he keeps his eyes trained in the road in front of him. She makes a mental note of the license plate number to follow up on hum after their date is done. As her sister always said, the scum of this world cannot go unpunished and his time will come. However now is not that time and the woman tugging gently at her hand reminds her of the task at hand; dance the night away with the vision of a woman next to her. 

“What is this place?”

“Oh,” Yelena starts as she leads her towards the entrance of the old brick building, “It’s called Strigoi, a friend of mine owns it.”

“That’s an interesting name,” Sunny muses as she flashes her id and award winning smile to the bouncer before following her inside. 

Anything she might have wanted to say gets stuck when the club’s red lighting bathes over them as well as the interior of it. Unlike most other clubs, the floor has booths scattered throughout with platforms occasionally raising above to provide brave club goers a stage to demonstrate the courage bought by alcohol. The bar is backed by a wall of mirrors while the signature red lights cast a devilish glow on the matching mirror shelves filled with expensive liquor. Beyond everything is the DJ stand where dark synth music streams dramatically from. 

“Who exactly owns this club? A vampire?” Sunny whispers to Yelena, half joking while also hoping her earlier suspicions of Peter aren’t true. 

She doesn’t answer with words but instead with a deep laughter that vibrates into Sunny’s chest as well as they weave through the crowd towards the bar. A familiar voice catches her attentions when Yelena stops at the edge, leaning over to order drinks for him. Only a few seats down is the Peter Parker she’d hoped to never see again with the same girl from the kickback turned party. The red ambience makes it difficult to see much of him but yet there is another flash of something when he smirks down at the party girl. In his hand is a short glass of thick dark liquid and if Sunny didn’t know any better, she’d assume it’s blood. Obviously that’s insane and no one is drinking blood so she tears her stare away and looks to Yelena who’s already looking at her in puzzlement.  His arrogant chuckle draws her attention to him and it clicks; Sunny had spotted him in his natural habit and of course, is confused by it all. 

“I can have him kicked out if you want,” she says while handing Sunny her drink.

“Nah leave him. He’s not worth the hassle.”

“For you, any hassle is worth it.”

“Wow already laying it on thick I see. Think you’re going to get lucky?” she chuckles as she takes a sip of whatever Yelena ordered for her. 

The blonde woman shrugs as she scans her face, “Now that you mention it.”

She rolls her eyes at the suggestion and tugs on her arm to lead them away from the bar. Spotting an empty booth among the crowd of people is no easy feat however it’s not up to Yelena’s standards because she shakes her head and points to an area that’s roped off with even more bouncers guarding it. 

“Did you really think I’d bring you to a club and not sit in the VIP section?” and when she doesn’t answer, she continues with her playful teasing, “Cat got your tongue? It’s okay, голубка, what I have planned doesn’t require any talking.”

Behind the ropes and bouncers, lounges Bucky with Steve and Peggy, short glasses filled with the same thick dark liquid as Peter’s. That intoxicating smell drifts in amongst the waves of other club goers’ smells and has him narrowing his eyes at nothing and everything at the same time, searching for the owner. Peggy whispers something to her husband, red lips mere inches from the shell of his ear. Steve glances to his blue eyed friend and chuckles in agreement with what she said. 

“Find your companion for the night?” he taunts while taking a sip from his glass, the dark liquid leaving a slight film on his tongue. 

“No,” Bucky states plainly as he sets his glass down on the table before them, “She’s here.”

Peggy snorts, “You already have her smell memorized? I see her almost everyday and I barely know it.”

“For the safety of your child, I hope you’re joking,” he says while standing and walking towards the bouncers. 

In his absence, she turns to Steve, “Do you?”

“Have her smell memorized? Only enough to know the difference between the staff though. I wouldn’t give any thought to him right now, he’s all fired up over her, that Lycan woman from last night, and Alix.”

She huffs in response which earns her words of reassurance from him. Meanwhile Bucky is instructing his men to keep a close eye on Yelena and especially Sunny. When he returns to the booth, he doesn’t sit right away and takes his glass from the table. Yelena’s voice echoes past the music and noise of the club, letting him know that he is about to face confrontation no doubt. She spots him before Sunny can and she does what she can to guide her away from that booth much to his dismay and pleasure. Her efforts to distract her fail and Sunny sees Steve, giving him a small smile which falls when Bucky comes into her view. The trio pick up on parts of what she’s whispering angrily to Yelena, “What… he… here? You….me….was going to be….”

Yelena, although, hears every word loud and clear, “What is he doing here? You didn’t tell me he was going to be here.”

“I didn’t know he was there. I’m sorry if it makes this,” she gestures between the two of them, “awkward. We can go somewhere else.”

“No this is ridiculous. He can’t fucking ruin everything,” she runs a hand over her hair and takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry if I made things awkward. It’s just… a little complicated I guess.”

Yelena’s ring filled hand cups the side of her face, tilting her hand to look at her, “Nothing’s changed. Trust me I know how complicated things are when it comes to him but I won’t hold it against you if you don’t against me.”

“Ya know,” she takes a step closer, closing the distance between them, “We could just ignore him. This date is between you and I, he is not involved in any way.”

“I like the sounds of that,” Yelena whispers back as her hand shifts down to cradle her jaw, her thumb ghosting over her glossy bottom lip, “You’re going to get me in trouble if I’m not careful.”

Sunny smirks against her thumb, “Why do you say that?”

“I think you know why,” she leans impossibly closer, “Can I kiss you?” Her eyes flicker down to Yelena’s mauve lips, nodding ever so slightly before they meet in one small kiss only to be drawn back in and devour each other in the middle of a crowded club. 

Having watched the whole exchange, his body tenses as her smell shifts when the kiss deepens. Jealously bubbles in his veins and the only thing stopping him from ripping Yelena to shreds is Steve’s hand on his wrist and Peggy’s reminder that “she is not yours. Stand down.” Rather than give into his animalistic urges to destroy, he settles for his usual scowl, hooded eyes trained on the couple in hopes that he can will them apart and her into his arms. His self control doesn’t last long and he’s marching over to the women in no time. 

“Yelena,” he gives her a curt nod, “Sunny, I need to talk to you.”

Neither is able to protest before he is dragging her towards a closed door hidden from view by more guards until now. Yelena shots Steve a lock of contempt as she approaches their booth, “You two are absolutely no help. Why didn’t either you of stop him?” “Do you really expect me to get in between him and what he wants?” Steve says expectedly as they all know no one is stupid enough to do so. 

“A heads-up would’ve been nice.”

“I’ll keep that in mind next time you’re on a date with the woman he’s interested in.”

[batcavescolony]

Since in #7 Bernard Dowd is seen to want to be a Chef and I've had culinary arts schooling this is my list of oddly specific things pertaining to that. Use it as you want (just from my experience)

Having a callous on the base of your pointer fringer of your dominate hand from using a chef knife

Funky patterned chef pants

DISHES NEVER END

when you are moving with a hot pan or heavy items ect you tell everyone like HOT PAN! BEHIND. GOING AROUND THE CORNER. BEHIND!

small batches are cute but in a restaurant/bakery/etc you're doing big batches in industrial ovens and mixers. A batch of bread dough we made had 12lbs of flour and like a half gallon of water.

Culinary arts isn't just making food it's doing math, converting recipes, going over OSHA rules and restaurant regulations

After awhile you have enough knowledge to the point where you see a recipe on the internet and go "hey... I can make that. Like really easily" like you can just make curry or scallion pancakes or fancy food

You will notice the shitty knife cuts in like pre cut packages of fruit and veg at the store

You're not allowed to have nail polish or false nails (unless you want to wear gloves all the time)

You start to realise how easy it's is to do somethings for yourself. Like you can just buy a chicken and break it down yourself or make stock at home

Their will be at least one class day where you cut onions all day and leave in tears because everyone is literally cutting onions

Sometimes stuff gets pushed back in the fridge or it's after break and the food has grew a putrid smelling mold. Cleaning it is part of culinary, it's...Fun

Everyday you wear chef pants, a chef coat, a closed toe non slip shoe and a chef hat.

Your hands will get chapped af because you're washing them all the time, lotion is your friend

You do refer to your head chef as 'Chef' or 'Chef ____' (or at least we did)

You will fuck up except it and move past it. (I once put too many chips in the fryer, it over flowed and we had to clean it up)

Kitchens get hot and you're wearing pants and a coat that are designed to protect you from like boiling water being pored on them, so drink water.

You will get cut/burned/stabbed/squished fingers it's part of the job just don't get bodily fluids on the food

You're standing like the whole time no matter what

You know that gallon conversation thing you learned in elementary? You will see that in your sleep. Gallon to quart to pint to cup. Also 8oz to a cup. 3t to a T. 16oz to a Pound ect it's ingrained into my head now

With a bit of knowledge you now know things and you can use it. Like add Xanthan Gum to a blended drink to emulsify it and it's just like Starbucks.

On the down side people want you to make things

You start wanting things for your kitchen like a KitchenAid or a portion scoop or dehydrator and having that feeds back into "I can make anything"

Figuring out exact prices for things is crucial and a pain. Like you have to take the price of baking soda and figure out how much a 1/4t costs. It's not horrible ig but when you're doing it for a whole recipe or menu it gets repetitive.

Ok that's all I'm putting you get the idea