#you are friends after all<3< /div>
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darlingpwease · 1 year ago
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distracting from yan nergal, I want to say that among all the leaders of the clan, LAN XICHEN is the only one who really deserves to have his pussy eaten & breed because my little pathetic meow meow must also be corrupted NEEDS to have heirs so it's a FORCED NECESSITY and the fact that his pussy drips & feels very pliable and expanded is the FULFILLMENT OF A DUTY AND—
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qualityrain · 1 month ago
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why are they batshit insane
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wheatcak3 · 3 months ago
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imagine the Shepherdess but bards uwu✨✨
also click for better quality 🥺
timelapse below!
(i remembered part of the way in but 90% of it is recorded LMAO)
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lunian · 5 months ago
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oh gods....
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they really fixed romance related dialogues bc they never appeared for me
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oh no oh yes
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or its a story of Gale being destroyed in different ways
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ducktracy · 1 year ago
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if you find yourself asking "how shall i spend the next one minute and 52 seconds?", i implore you to turn to the Wansa-kun opening for the most joyful way to fill the time. isn't this wonderful
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unpersoniverse · 4 months ago
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Skén:nen sá:sewh
as promised, here's Precious boy™ getting kissed by Precious wife™ because he deserves all the love in the world :cc
translation: Get home safe
#nobody translate the file name#nah but home girl is the strongest soldier let me tell you#imagine date/being married to an assassin fr I would loose my mind#I'm such a sucker for the friends to lovers trope ok hear me out#Girlie is an ally to the assassin's and that's how she meets Connor and they become friends because Ratonhnhaké:ton deserves more friends o#she is VERY smart knows how to stand her ground but also very sweet and funny he respects and admires her a lot and so does she#she's from another displaced kanien'kehá:ka clan they bond really close sooner than later the feeling just blooms everyone's knows but THEM#until prob the recruits and the people in the homestead get tired of these oblivious fools in love and plot to finally get them together#I headcanon Connor didn't settle down completely until they were expecting their first child like they both panicked when they realized#I mean they're already married and stuff but still our girl is all over the place bcs she's scared of something happening to him or the bby#and connor acts cool and leveled on the outside but he's just a whirpool of emotions on the inside as well it's really funny to watch#they probably broke down in tears from both laughter and fear but they are amazing parents we are certain of it :')#I want their dinamic to be like that mainly because Connor deserves some light and laugh in his life after all the things he went through#connor i'm in love with your wife#ratonhnhaké:ton#connor kenway#connor's mistery wife#ac 3#assassin's creed#oc#the way you can tell I almost never draw men just from this sketch 💀#my art
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missescalientee · 3 days ago
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Finally revealing one of my other blorbos, Niccolo Sonata! A mixed genre troll who poses as a Pop Idol up until world tour
He's a complicated bag, he's half rock half classical, his mother kind of low-key hates him, and his dad does care but is kind of paralyzed with various anxieties that comes with the fact that Niccolo is half classical (worried about his constitution and his wings) and things related to his mother (she doesn't want Niccolo to become like his dad and puts a lot of restrictions on him)
Both of his parents don't really know what to do with him, and he doesn't know what to do with himself.
He has a lot of internalized hatred towards himself and the two sides of his musical families, plus he is a secret third genre (symphonic rock) which he doesn't fully understand. He got picked on a bit in Volcano Rock City, they're a lot rougher than he's used to so he just kind of took it, which is why he looks so roughed up in one pic and the other he says they hate him in VRC
Again he's really complicated even tho he doesn't look it, if you have questions about him lmk
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nekrosmos · 24 days ago
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Nekro, Nekro! I come barrelling in with a something, with limited grammatical clarity because my brain is more fried than a Mars Bar in Glasgow.
I was just reading your and Gomz's Plant Dad Price AU and I saved this cat because I was like "hmmm, this animal is giving Nikprice" and I wasn't sure how. But!
Plant Dad Price adopting things that no one else wants. This fluffy Maine Coon has a serious attitude problem, but adopts Price as its person. It starts off as a scraggly, skinny, lanky thing, with patches missing. Noe, it's fucking HUGE. Can use Johnny as a scratching post. Seems to have a knack for sniffing out explosives.
Enter: Demolition Cat.
It tolerates Nik.
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DEMOLITION CAT !!! The newest 141 member, probably the fiercest one at that (Definitely has something against Johnny, keeps biting his hands. Is okay with Simon, stray cats respecting each other. Keeps sleeping on Gaz's stuff and puts hair everywhere.)
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Also, Price just gives "dad who didn't want a cat" vibe, doesn't he?
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Well look at him now :3c
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anbaisai · 7 months ago
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Happy birthday to @crystallizsch and the lovely Yuusha! May you have another wonderful year full of happiness and currynoodles💜
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hanzajesthanza · 2 months ago
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witcher netflix: [drops]
henry cavill fans: honestly, i don’t really care about the story, i’m just here because hcav is hot asf
me: wtf? how shallow is this… only there because the titular witcher is hot? talk about missing the point…
witcher 4 trailer: [drops]
✨ciri✨: 😡
me: … i understanded.
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yuwuta · 7 months ago
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PLS PLS PLSSSSS keep talking about kids with olympic athletes! gojo and nanami pls pls pls i have to Know. everything u wrote about yuuta was already so so cute
(prev olympics au here)
the gojo twins are hilarious because your baby boy looks exactly like satoru, but has very little of his personality—it seems like the only things he inherited was satoru’s love for sweets and love for you. still, even though he’s a strong swimmer, he much prefers to relax in his floaties alongside you if you’re also in the pool, or chill by your side on a lounge chair, glasses too big for his face keeping the sun out of his eyes as he shares his smoothie with you, and asks to borrow your phone to take pictures of his sister and daddy in the pool. 
your baby girl on the other hand… she might have your face but she’s got satoru’s everything else—his competitive streak, his confidence, and definitely his mischievous nature. she’s the one who tiptoes into your bedroom at five in the morning, tapping at her daddy’s shoulders, and putting her little finger over his lip to shush him before he can wake you up; she’s always the one to convince satoru to take her swimming the backyard at the crack of dawn, and why by the time you and your baby boy wake up, she and satoru are already past warm up laps and swimming lessons and onto who can make the splashiest canonball competitions (she always wins because while her tiny body can endure a belly flop, satoru’s years of training physically doesn’t allow him to do it… and maybe because he’s not so competitive when it comes to his baby girl, he’ll always let her win). 
kento’s professional judo career honestly doesn’t last very long. after his first olympic games, you two start dating and he proposes just after he wins gold the second time he’s in the olympics; he does maybe two more years of national competitions while you’re pregnant, and decides that the intense training for the next two years in preparation of a third olympic competition isn’t worth missing time he could spend with you or your baby girl—plus, with all the money he’s made from competitions, winning gold medals, brand ambassadorships, commercials, and collaborations, he had enough money to provide for all of your for the rest of your lives. so, that’s what he does (his dream has always been to be a househusband, anyway...) his previous salaryman career comes in handy when deciding how to invest his money, how to buy a house, how to take care of his friends, how to set up a fund for your daughter, and an extra account or two… just incase more babies come along… 
by the time your baby girl is four, she’s already kento’s biggest fan. she loudly and proudly proclaims to everybody that her daddy was basically superman and won all the shiny trophies and medals in the house from when he was being a superhero. if anyone recognizes kento when they’re out together, she always confirms their suspicions, proudly boasting, “yeah kento is my daddy! he’s a winner!” it always makes kento’s heart swell to hear her praise. he doesn’t compete professionally anymore, but he does train from time to time, and has taken on a few mentees, and your daughter LOVES to watch him coach/train. she’s got her own uniform that she always puts on whenever they go to the gym together, and gets so excited when kento or ino or yuuji pretend to spar with her. 
she’s honestly kento’s mini figure. she’s respectful and reserved, but strong and knows when to fight and how to use her voice. there’s a time when he gets a call from her school saying that she got in a fight, the principal frames it as your daughter needlessly pushing around an older kid, but your daughter is certain in her words when she tells her dad that it was because the kid was being mean to the younger kids, and to her. kento doesn’t say a word to the teachers—doesn’t even fight them sending her home early for the day, because he’s happy to scoop her up and take her out for ice cream and tell her that he’s proud of her.
#anonymous#gojo twins r so real to me... one looks like him but does Not act like him and the other one does not look like him but might as well Be Hi#and he loves n smothers them both so much....#kento goes from salaryman to professional athlete to househusband he really does live the dream life LOLLL#see also: kento's baby girl 🤝 satoru's baby girl = best friends LOLL#in my head kento and satoru are olympians at the same time/know each other#but yuuji isn't he has his own story/trajectory#which is why he is nanami's mentee in This Universe#actually i think yuuji's kinda exists on his own#and all his friends/his circle are real proud of him when it's all said n done yk#nobara teases him about finally putting his strength to good use megumi is proud in his own way#his grandpa and nanami are obviously proud of him and he comes home w a gold medal#and is basically a hero in his tiny home town#(also time for me to introduce my favorite hc: yuuta and yuuji childhood friends bc they're from the same city)#the narutoism of it all... he comes home w gold and everyone basically tosses him up and down... angel boy :(#megumi kinda exists in the kento/satoru world too i think... nd before him there was toji#wait maybe yuuta and yuuji can exist in the same timeline nd everyones like what r the odds those two kids from sendai are olympians#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader#nanami kento x reader#kento x reader#think tho in the yuuta/yuuji olympics verse yuuji competes 2 or maybe 3 times (so total of 12 years) nd then quits#not because he's gotten weaker but just because he really did it for the money yk but he's set for life now#honestly he was set after the first time but he just wanted to be sure/you and his grandpa encouraged him to at least do it to have Fun#this time around so he does#but for yuuta this is his Career yk like he loves tennis#he's not in it for the olympics he just likes it and happens to be real good at it#two of them talking about each other in press conferences so cute
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a2zillustration · 1 year ago
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Brain was working overtime trying to solve this one ahead of time so I could make good choices
| First | | Previous | | Next |
[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
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blorbocedes · 10 months ago
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BROCEDES! ROOMMATE AU + UNEXPECTED VIRGIN!
‘Take a shot if your body count is more than 5!’
Most of the crowd drinks, even those with obviously shifty eyes and guilty demeanours. Lewis drinks.
He was coursemates with Adrian the previous semester and had to hear his bitching and moaning about the bitches he gets – the lack thereof, spots him drinking too. Nico’s standing at the end of the couch, expensive loafers careful to step around the sticky spilled beer.
He nurses his red solo cup, untouched. Lewis frowns.
‘Take a shot if your body count is double digits!’
Fewer people drink this time. The crowd goes ‘ooh’ at the ones who do. Technically, Lewis’ is 7 – 8 if you count the blowjob and her getting her period at the last second, opting out. But college athletes have a reputation to maintain, so Lewis finishes off his cup.
This time, Nico is watching him. Smiles when their eyes meet and does a mock salute, lips still not grazing his drink.
What the fuck? What could it be? It bothers Lewis that Nico’s not being honest. He's seen Nico half-lidded hanging off some guy’s arm at a party or cuddled into some girl to know better. Although, since Nico has access to all the population instead of 50%, it would make sense if his count is twice as high.
A pretty girl in a low cut top and blonde highlights taps Lewis on the arm to dance with her, and all thoughts of his roommate and how many people he fucks are forgotten.
A few hours later, the party has died down. Cold pizza and the music is less in-your-face, more indie. A small group gather on the floor playing the laziest truth or dare with a half empty bottle of Bacardi. The guy beside Nico is in an obnoxious leather jacket and tight pants, and his hand rests on Nico’s thigh.
It falls on Lewis.
“So… Lew-iss,” Natalie? maybe asks, voice slurring a little. “Do you remember when you first met Nico?”
Nico raises an interested eyebrow. Of course he remembers. However, Lewis is aware they asked the question because people think him and Nico are secretly hooking up because they live together, and since Nico’s seen with everyone. His teammate Felipe and his girlfriend are within earshot.
“Nah, man. I don't remember shit like that. I remember when I like, lost my virginity.” Lewis offers as bait.
Nico frowns, it's cute on him. Brows wrinkled up.
Naomi(!) bites. “Tell us about how you lost your virginity.”
“That's two questions.” Lewis leans back, flashing his most charming gap-toothed smile. Everyone's too drunk to keep track of whose turn it is.
Nico disappears off with Mr. Skinny Jeans.
It's a little while later when Lewis has smoked a spliff to clear his head, rejecting the blonde highlights girl’s offer back to her dorms which is on the other side of campus, when Nico returns, hair mussed and shirt buttoned more than it was when he left.
“Home?” He asks. Lewis follows.
Nico’s a pretty chill roommate. He grew up with a silver spoon and an only child, so he has no concept of sharing. Instead, when he orders Thai, he makes sure to order for two so that Lewis doesn't try to eat any of his dumplings. Lewis gets to have the flat to himself a lot since Nico disappears for the night, returns at early hours of the night with glitter on his cheek or bite marks on his neck and a cheeky smile before collapsing on the couch. Lewis can't complain, it makes bringing girls over easier. And when Nico is studying, he keeps to himself. Lewis will know, because there will be an extra coffee for him. In turn, Lewis gets rids of the bugs in the flat – the first time Nico seeing a cockroach asking if they should call pest control or sue their landlord for unhygienic living conditions.
“Why didn't you drink? At the body count question?” Lewis asks, breaking the amiable silence of their walk home, and the lack of filter signalling he was drunker than he thought.
Nico hums thoughtfully. “Cause that would be a lie?”
Lewis tries to make sense of that, doing math in his head. “No…? It wasn't about the exact number, just if it's more than.”
“Yeah,” Nico smiles, unlocking the door and stepping side. “That would be a lie.”
Lewis rolls his eyes. Nico and his riddles and his games. “It would only be a lie if you're a virgin. Which you're not.” He snorts at the thought.
Nico’s eyes flash dangerously. “Yeah?” Nico turns around, effectively trapping Lewis between the door. “You think about who gets in my pants a lot, Hamilton?”
Lewis feels a flush rise in his neck. Thank god for melanin, if he were Nico he'd have two giant red spots on his cheek right now.
“I don't care who you sleep with. Or don't sleep with.” Lewis tries to go for gruff, chill, but it doesn't quite land. He gets out of Nico’s cornering, going to the couch. “It's just weird you’d lie considering Jenson–”
“Oh if Jenson said it, it must be true.” Nico’s sarcasm is shrill and annoyed, betraying how drunk he is.
It does make Lewis pause. Jenson has a habit of embellishing stories of his conquests. The fated twins threesome never happened, he had separately hooked up with twins. Lewis remembers Jenson bragging in the locker room how he rocked Britney’s world and Lewis had worn his his shin guards with a little more force than necessary.
“Rock my world?” Nico rolls his eyes, leaning against the wall. “Hardly. We made out for forty minutes until he came in his pants.”
TMI because now Lewis is inundated of images of Nico, mouth swollen and bodies entangled while fully clothed.
“So you're actually a virgin? What about all those people?” Lewis is still trying to wrap his head around it. Nico is the most sexual person he knows. He eats yoghurt off the spoon distractingly, and has no shame walking around the apartment naked. Very sexual liberation chic, and Lewis had to draw up boxers boundaries.
Nico wrinkles his nose. “So you get with the easiest lay on campus and you're the only person he won't fuck. Do you want to admit something's weird and wrong with you, or do you just go about inferring you had sex? It's not like I'm going to correct them.” He must see something on Lewis’ face because he interjects, defensively offensive, “Don't ask why it's better to have a reputation. I know your tells. You drank twice.”
Lewis chooses his words carefully, gentle like he's not trying to spook a wild cat. “I'm not judging. I'm just surprised. Nobody figured it out?”
Nico softens at the tone. He sinks on the couch beside Lewis. “Honestly, you're the first person to notice.”
Lewis finds that sad. “Hey, we don't need to talk about this if it's a sensitive topic. I'm sorry I –”
“Jeez, Lewis. I don't have trauma, I'm just frigid. A pricktease. Nothing bad ever happens to a Rosberg.” Nico works on the complicated laces of his boots. He hates being pitied.
Lewis leans over. “It's really not all that cracked up to be. The first time, at least. Cause you're bad at it and you don't know how to pace yourself. Lots of people wait until they're ready. My first time, it was this girl I was seeing after GCSEs. We couldn't find a place so we got in my dad’s old Subaru. Lasted like 30 seconds. Wiped the whole place down but I was convinced he would know somehow. Come Sunday, I went and told him. He hadn’t the slightest clue. So that was an awkward drive to church.”
Nico gawks him, crumpling into himself laughing. Lewis regrets being a vulnerable and oversharer of a drunk. Nico’s gelled hair has come undone from hours of partying and falls over his eyes. Lewis is never going to open up to anyone ever again.
“On God's day, Lewis?! And you think I should save myself until marriage? Find myself a nice, righteous wife?”
“Someone you trust. Someone you're into.” The room spins a little. Nico Rosberg is a virgin.
“Someone who’d remember when we first met?” Nico challenges. "That's not very nice, is it? I can't believe you forgot--"
“You were checking out an encyclopaedia on space at the library. I wanted the Senna autobiography. We were 12.”
Nico’s eyes go wide. Lewis holds his gaze.
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I feel like Fitzjames would keep her dick in the same way she'd keep her first name but Hodgson would get every gender surgery invented to date and she'd know all the technical terms for them and all the etymologies of said terms and she'd cheerfully tell Irving and Little all the bloody medical details of each one and she'd do it while they were eating and Little would want to gently object but would not do so because he wants to be a Good Ally and Irving would ignore all his subtle attempts to change the subject and listen to her with an enthralled intensity usually reserved for church services, which could mean nothing.
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screechingfromthevoid · 5 months ago
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nothing (besides everyone ignoring Orym's deal) has made me angrier than watching Dorian keep up this facade. Dorian Storm has always been a type of mask he's worn. At first he called himself a liar because of it. The happy go lucky bard was a way of escaping for him. He was escaping Brontë so he created Dorian. He didn't believe he was Dorian. Until the Crown Keepers made Dorian real. And for a while, he really believed he was Dorian. That he has this new family and new life and he could be who he truly wanted to be.
And then his brother came back and made his problems Dorian's problems. Until he had to put Brontë back on. Because even if the Crown Keepers + Cyrus called him Dorian, he was Brontë. He had to be who his brother thought he was.
When Cyrus dies, the thread to Brontë had snapped. He was going to see Orym, back to the Bells Hells, back to Dorian Storm. But the foundation of Dorian had shattered. Dorian was created in order to run from his place in life, family, Cyrus. Now he was gone. The Crown Keepers had fallen apart. His friends fell through his fingers and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He was once ready to side with a betrayer god for these people and now they're in the wind.
So Dorian shows back up to Bells Hella and he's completely broken. The foundation of both of his lives has been thoroughly rocked. No brother. No Crown Keepers. The two things that forged Dorian Storm. He wears that mask so fucking well. Because he still wants to believe in it. He said it live on stage that he should "believe his own backstory". The one he made up. The one where he was a bard.
He wants to be Dorian so bad. He spends all his money on Orym, he spins the bottle so he can kiss his friends, he flirts, he blushes and giggles at compliments. Exactly how Dorian would, should.
But he wears the gold of the heir. He has a festering animosity inside his chest. He doesn't sleep. He's thinner than he was. He doesn't sleep. He sicks abominations after their creators. He talks to God's without an ounce of self preservation, daring them to strike him down. He does not acknowledge them as they taunt him.
The god of beauty and magic calls him beautiful and he does not smile.
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weirdbabs · 1 month ago
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hey @kindlespark! hope you had a happy holidays and a great new years! i was your secret santa for @paranaturalsecretsanta this year! you said your favorite characters were max and isabel and they are also your favorite friendship, so i took that and ran. hope you like it!!!
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