#you are also right to be Changed. these fics are so good!!!!
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Under Your Spell
summary: what’s that old saying? Best way to get over someone is to get under…..yeah yeah, we all know where this going, don’t we?
an: Hi! Long time no see, huh? I hope you’ve all been doing well! I’ve missed it here a lot, more than you could ever know. The semester is over, and I’m finally free! (For a little bit). College is very hard, and it took a lot of me this year, but let’s not get into that right now. This chapter has been VERY long awaited, and I am so sorry that it’s taken this long to get to you all. This one is pretty short, but not only did I want to get it out to you all in time, but I also have lots planned for the next chapter! (Luna you’re putting four parts into one of your fics???) I know I know, shocker right? Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this past despite it being short! Love you 🤍🤍🤍
warnings: MDNI!, 18+ fic only, slight smut, lots of angst, mean!Ellie, idiot!Ellie??, Abby’s in this one hehe, making out, drinking, let me know if I missed anything!
Part 1, Part 2
Sleeping in your bed had become extremely difficult.
It was like every time you laid your head against the soft pillows, your skin sliding against the soft material of your sheets, your brain would be filled with images of Ellie. The feeling of her lips on your throat, her hands on your hips, everything she’d given to you was permanently burned into your memory.
You couldn’t get away from her, no matter what you did.
You let out a soft sigh as you sat at your old desk, your cheek resting against your palm as your fingers traced along the smooth material of the wood. Things had gotten a lot trickier after your last night with Ellie, your mind clouded with confusion regarding the entire ordeal.
Ellie had….sought out for you. She definitely did the first time but there was something about her coming home from a night out, and slipping into your sheets that had your mind in shambles. It didn’t make any sense, you were sure that whatever happened between you and Ellie was a one off, something that was influenced mainly by alcohol and forced proximity. The played out story of the brother’s best friend ending up in a sticky situation with the younger sister. It was cliche, but it happened.
That didn’t change that it left your stomach in knots every time you heard the floorboards creak near Ellie’s room.
You’d done a pretty good job at avoiding her and the entire situation. It meant that you were in complete and total lockdown, even worse than before, however it saved any awkward tension, which you’d much rather trade for a few months of complete isolation.
But as all good things did, it was coming to an end.
Because you were given a choice, one that dangled your pride, and your social life in your face, forcing you to choose which you valued more.
Every summer, a huge party was thrown down at the beach. You and your brother joined as soon as you were old enough to drink, your parents went when they were younger, their parents went, and nearly everyone in your town experienced it at least once. It was like a tradition, one that every young person would look forward to.
It was one of your favorite parts about being home for the summer.
However, there wasn’t a party thrown in town that your brother and Ellie wouldn’t join.
And that’s where your choice came in.
You’d been going back and forth with yourself all week, weighing out the pros and the cons of it all. You knew that there were ways to get around her, to make sure that you wouldn’t see here while you were out there. To top it all off, you hated the idea of letting Ellie rip away one of your favorite things to do while you were home, giving her that much power didn’t make any sense to you.
But you still couldn’t push yourself to do it.
You swiveled your chair back and forth, staring up at your ceiling as you struggled to make a decision. However the clock was ticking, and the party was officially happening tonight. You didn’t have much time to go back and forth with yourself anymore.
It was either you swallow your pride, go out and enjoy yourself for the first time since everything happened with Ellie, ultimately standing up for yourself and sending her a big fuck you while doing so…
Or
You let her win. You sacrifice your time there and you let Ellie steal your time. You let her make a fool out of you by being too hung up on the very weird attention she’d been giving you, and you stay in your room for yet another night while everyone else is having the time of their lives.
Thinking of it that way didn’t leave you much of an option, did it?
You practically rip your room apart looking for the perfect outfit to wear, which ends up being a pink halter top that flows down a bit at the ends, a pair of your favorite denim shorts and your sneakers. By the time you’re finishing up your hair and your makeup, you hear the faint sound of your brothers minions showing up, pairing that with the music that starts playing leaves you to figuring they’re probably pregaming before they leave.
That’s when it starts feeling real.
You let out a deep sigh as you stare in the mirror, fixing your top over your chest before fluffing out your hair and fixing your lip gloss, giving yourself a gentle affirming nod before you push your phone into your back pocket and head downstairs.
A blanket of silence falls between Derek and his friends when they notice you, multiple sets of eyes zeroing in on you as you slip between your brother and one of his friends silently to pour a shot before throwing it back with ease. Hazels the first to comment on it.
“Awe man, I didn’t think the first grader could hang….you joining us tonight sweetie?” She taunts, her perfect teeth pressing down into her plush bottom lip as she stares at you, a challenging look in her eye.
Derek is the next one to speak up, a surprised look on his face as he stares down at you. “Wait…really? You’re coming with us?” He quips hopefully. Had Hazel kept her fucking mouth shut, you probably would’ve found the sentiment sweet from him.
You inhale deeply to calm yourself, staring down into the empty shot glass before you finally raise your eyes to look at Hazel, only to find her standing across the island, her back pressed into Ellie’s chest as her tattooed hands toy with the exposed skin of Hazel’s waist.
You completely ignore Ellie’s eyes burning holes into you.
“Shut the fuck up Hazel” you bite back before pouring another shot.
Your words earns reactions from the group instantly, even your brother chuckling softly as he gives you a proud smile. Hazel however, is not amused in the slightest.
Her poker face drops for a moment, nostrils flaring as she stares you down like she wants to jump over the table and have you for herself, but she quickly picks it up, giving you an impressed smirk before she nods slowly.
“Ahh so she speaks…my apologies sweetheart” she practically grits out before she lets out an annoyed sigh.
“Let’s go then. I don’t wanna be late” she quickly seethes out, pushing herself out of Ellie’s arms so she can grab her purse that was sitting on the couch.
You trail behind the others after your brother reassures you things will be okay, giving him a soft smile as you all pile into his car, ultimately missing the way Ellie’s eyes trail you the entire times
The car ride there feels nostalgic. The summer breeze turns cooler the closer you get to the familiar beach, your brother blasting his music in the front as you rest your head against the edge of the window, letting the wind blow through your hair.
It makes you wish things were different. The warmth in your chest would’ve paired so well with a better crowd, one that didn’t see you as the annoying little sister that tagged along when she really shouldn’t be.
Your mind takes you to an alternate reality where things are different, one where you get along with your brother’s friends. You wonder if they’d like you if they gave you the chance, if they weren’t predisposed to not liking you simply because you’re younger than them…
You wonder if things had been different, if you and Ellie could’ve been something.
Because clearly there’s attraction there, there had to be. Were you so wrong for even letting your brain wander there? Wondering what life would be like if you and Ellie were cordial, let alone experimenting with a relationship in a normal way, and not the way you’d been going on for this past summer.
What would it be like if she treated you the way she treated Hazel while others were around? What would it be like if you were in Hazel’s position? Propped up in Ellie’s lap while the others sang songs and joked around with each other?
You’d never know, because you were in this reality, not a perfect one.
You don’t even realize when your brother pulls up to the beach. The gentle shake of the car as his friends practically run out is what rips you away from your thoughts. You clear your throat as you make your way out once everyone is gone, brushing down your outfit as you make your way down the familiar path to the beach. The beach is blossoming with the sound of life. Loud music quickly surrounds you, people dancing, swimming, drinking, it’s almost so perfect it feels cliche, and that alone reminds you that you’d made the right decision by deciding to come out.
You’re the moth, and the ocean is your flame.
It draws you in closer as you sip the drink from your solo cup, appreciating the pattern of the tide rolling in, wetting the sand beneath it, only to then pull back out shortly after. It’s what you’d missed most about the beach in your home town, its ability to calm you no matter what was almost remarkable, even with the crowd of people around you.
You have to stop yourself from walking too far down the beach, knowing deep down that Derek’s friends would take any chance to ditch you while we’re oblivious to what was going on. It’s how you end up out on one of the piers, your legs dangling over the edge as you stare up at the moon, watching as the waves roll in while you sip on your drink.
There’s heavy footsteps along the wooden pier, ones that you don’t quite catch between the heavy sound of the waves, and the music nearby. It isn’t until a familiar voice rings in your ear that you realize you’re not alone.
“You know I heard you were back in town….but I thought there’s no way you’d come back without texting me first” the words come from behind you, and your eyes widen once you catch the tall frame standing over you.
Abby Anderson
She was one of your closest friends back in elementary school. It wasn’t nice to admit, but you’d drifted apart once you both got to high school. It was in the most natural way possible, but she always managed to stick around in your mind from time to time.
Before all of that, you two were stuck at the hip. It was a similar friendship to Ellie and your brother, the two of you always running through your house, causing many headaches for both your parents and her parents whenever you were both together.
You hadn’t seen Abby in years since you left for college, it’d been so long that you didn’t even realize how long it had been.
Her physique was quite the sign that time had passed though.
You gasp softly when you realize it’s her, quickly pushing yourself up off the pier to push yourself into her already opened arms.
“I didn’t know you came back for the summer…god it’s been so long” you sigh out against her broad shoulders, the sweet smell of her perfume filling your nose as you let your eyes flutter shut, relishing in the feeling of her strong arms wrapping around your waist.
“You’d know if you thought to hit me up once in a while” she teases. You can hear the smirk in her voice as she keeps you close. It makes you giggle softly as you finally pull away from her, wanting to get a good look at the girl.
She’s just as pretty as you remember. Abby always had the prettiest blonde hair, and the most charming smile. Those were never things that you failed to notice about your friend, however she’s different now. She’s taller, her build a hell of a lot more stronger than when you were in elementary school, her hair longer and tucked into a thick braid…
You have to stop yourself from staring.
She peers down into your cup, noticing that you were getting empty. She nods her head towards the bonfire before speaking.
“Let’s top you up while you tell me alllll about your life in the big city, yeah?” She offers, to which you dumbly nod to as you follow next to her almost obediently.
After that, the two of you were glued to the hip the entire night. Between catching up on what life had brought the two of you within your adult years, and reminiscing over your time as kids, the world could be burning around the both of you and you two wouldn’t have noticed a thing. For the first time since you’d came home, you had finally found someone to spend time with.
And Ellie notices the entire thing.
Her eyes were on you the entire night. From the moment you came downstairs at the house, it was like she was under some fucked up spell that made it so she couldn’t function unless you were in her line of view. She couldn’t count on her hands how many annoyed sighs she received when her friends realized she wasn’t listening to what they were saying, instead busying herself with figuring out where the hell you were.
She tracked you like she was the predator, and you were her prey. She made sure you didn’t stray too far away from the group, made sure you didn’t do something stupid like strip naked to take a quick dip into the cold ocean. She was just being helpful! It wasn’t like she felt her mouth go dry every time it looked like someone was going to approach you….
And its like fate was on your side that night, because the moment Abby approached you at the dock, Hazel was settling herself into Ellie’s lap, toying with the hair at the nape of her neck and ultimately blocking you from her view completely.
The next time she does get a chance to see you again, you’re wrapped up in none other than Abby Anderson’s arms.
It’s just her luck, isn’t it? That out of every girl in your small beachside town, you choose that fucking idiot. You choose the girl that everyone knows to be Ellie’s sworn fucking enemy since forever. The only explanation is that you’re doing this on purpose. You know exactly what to do to get under Ellie’s skin. You did it when you were flirting with Jesse right in front of her, you did it when you kicked her out of your bedroom the last time you two were together, and you were doing it right fucking now by getting all cozy with Abby fucking Anderson.
So of course, she has to try and stop this.
But Ellie soon realizes that she spends way too much time mentally dwelling over this, and accusing you of something she knew deep down was very much out of character for you, because the second her eyes search for the two of you, she’s met with something she can only assume was pulled out of her worst nightmare.
You and Abby hand in hand as she helps you into her car.
Ellie is quick to push Hazel off her lap, her eyes now frantically searching for your brother. Once she spots him, she’s interrupting his conversation the moment she opens her mouth.
“Hey man…have you um….do know where your sisters going right now?” She asks almost out of breath, her eyes shifting quickly between Derek and Abby’s truck as she pulls out of her spot in the parking lot.
Your brother raises his eyebrows as he looks back to where you are in the girls car, nodding as he takes a sip of his drink. “Yeah, she just came and told me her friend is gonna take her home” he explains casually with a shrug before he tries to turn back to his conversation.
Ellie scoffs in disbelief at his casual tone, her hand reaching forward to grab his shoulder and turn him around to face her again.
“Friend? Did you even see who she was leaving with?” Her voice is laced with worry and distress as she complains to your brother, the man oblivious to Ellie’s frantic demeanor.
“Wasn’t it just Abby? They’ve been friends forever…I honestly don’t trust anyone other than that girl. Have you seen her fucking arms? I think my sister is in good hands with her” he chuckles softly as he gives Ellie’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
Between his words and his reaction to the entire thing, Ellie feels like she’s going to lose her fucking mind.
Her green eyes go wide as she stares at your brother before she gives a laugh of disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me? It’s just Abby? As in Abby fucking Anderson? Are we talking about the same girl here? Or are you suffering from fucking brain damage?” She snaps back.
Her wild eyes and mean words take your brother back, his playful laughter dying down once he realizes that he friend is quite literally tweaking over the fact that you’ve left with the girl that he knew she had some beef with.
“Woah…calm down man. It’s just my sister, your beef with Anderson doesn’t really have anything to do with her…she’ll be fine” he tries to assure her once more, his tone softening to calm his friend.
This does nothing though. It makes Ellie pinch the bridge of her nose in annoyance as she shakes her head. “Give me your keys” she demands with her palm out, pushed towards him.
Derek furrows his brows in confusion. “What? Are you seriously going to-“ he’s quickly cut off by Ellie, stopping him from finishing his question.
“Give me your fucking keys Derek. I’m not letting that asshole get it in with your sister” she finally admits, her words making your brothers eyes go wide with realization, finally seeing the situation for what it really was.
He inhales deeply before he reaches into his pocket and finally places his keys into his friends hand without another word, biting back the smirk that threatened to grace his lips.
He always thought Ellie’s animosity towards you was weird, but he never thought it would mean this all along.
She doesn’t even notice, the girl quickly taking the keys and mumbling a small ‘thanks’ as she jogs up the path to the parking lot to jump into your brothers car, and race home.
Meanwhile at your house, Abby was showing you quite the time.
It didn’t take long for you two to give into the tension that had settled the moment she picked you up from the dock. One moment you were toying with the little loose hairs falling from her braid and framing her face, and the next you were tugging her up to your bedroom and locking the door behind you.
Her hands were all over you, caressing your body as her knee began grinding into your core, her lips swallowing up your moans as you clung to her desperately, chasing your high as if your life depended on it.
The feeling of Abby against you cleared Ellie out of your head almost immediately. You weren’t worried about her or the mean things she’d said to you, or the nasty way she’d treated you after getting what she wanted from you. What once was a bed that you could barely sleep in without thinking of her was now filled with the feeling of Abby, and you couldn’t be more grateful.
Ellie realizes she’s too late when she pulls into your driveway to see Abby’s truck is still there, and she has to stop herself from ripping your brothers car door off when she gets out and slams it closed. There’s still something in her that hopes this is all innocent, that you didn’t really do the unthinkable and take Abby Anderson home to spite her. She hopes that the sweet side of you has taken the moral high ground, that you’ve gone to bed like the good girl she knows you are and Abby just happened to walk home and leave her car in your driveway.
So when she’s jogging on the stairs after frantically searching for you downstairs, hoping that she’ll find you sound asleep in your bed, her blood practically runs cold when her hand wraps around your doorknob…
And she can make out the familiar sounds of your moans through your door, paired with Abby’s words of encouragement to go with it.
#ellie williams smut#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x you#tlou part 2#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie x you
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Can I request a fic where reader and Quinn argue about his stupid sauna in the kitchen? I would love to argue with this man about how ridiculous it is to have a whole ass sauna in the kitchen of all places. Like did the Costco delivery guys laugh when you said you wanted it in the KITCHEN because I would’ve.
“quinn, we really can’t put that anywhere else in here? what about the whole extra bedroom?” you huff, watching the delivery men put the final touches on the large sauna now taking up half of the already small kitchen.
“the kitchen is more convenient, don’t you think?” he reasons, standing back to admire his new purchase.
you look over at him, bewildered.
“quinn…you really think the kitchen is the most convenient place for a sauna?”
“well, yeah. that way when we’re cooking it’ll already get warm in here, so i can fire her up at the same time and it won’t be uncomfortable or anything,” he answers, as serious as can be.
you just stare at him, not even knowing how to respond to his reasoning.
“hey man, just making sure this is where you want this to go before we take it off of the dolly,” the man doing the installation pops out from behind the assembled sauna.
quinn looks over to you before answering. “yeah man, this is the place. i’m sure.”
the delivery man also looks over to you, as if asking for a final confirmation.
“whatever. sure. if he wants it in the kitchen, in the kitchen it goes,” you throw your hands up in surrender, knowing if you have them move it quinn will pout until the end of time.
“alright, but once we place it we won’t be able to move it without taking it apart,” the man chuckles, giving quinn one more chance to change his mind.
quinn looks at the sauna once more, taking his hands and ‘framing’ out the space like he’s on some home improvement show. with one swift nod of his head and big smile, he confirms they have it in the exact spot he wants it. “yeah, man, right here is perfect.”
the next time the two of you host a few of his teammates and their wives/girlfriends at your apartment, the new addition to the kitchen is quickly brought up.
“huggy…why did you put your sauna in the kitchen, dude? don’t you have a spare room in here?” brock asks, standing by the island and observing the large box off to the side of your kitchen.
“brock, don’t bring it up. we don’t talk about it,” you sigh, warning him.
brock looks over to you, confused, until he hears “oh, i’m so glad you asked, boeser. so, you see….” as quinn launches into his list of arguments for why the kitchen is the perfect place for a sauna, looking over at you every few minutes as if to say ‘see, it’s a good idea’, still trying to prove he’s right after all of the various arguments you two have shared over the contraption.
#i also would like to know his reasoning#i guess it’s just space related?#quinn hughes#quinn hughes fanfiction#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes fluff#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes x you#quinn hughes x y/n#hockey#nhl#vancouver canucks
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Answered below the cut:
How many fics have you worked on since January?
I've worked on 9 since January, one of which I'm still currently working on and will be working on for the next few months, probably.
What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?
A lot of things! I think the biggest one is alternating perspectives.
What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)
Baldur's Gate 3, obviously, haha.
How many fandoms did you write for this year?
Just the one, BG3.
What ships captured your heart?
Mostly Wyllstarion, but I also wrote Minscstarion and Halsin/Ulder Ravengard LOOOLLLL..... crack ships taken seriously are so good to me
What characters captured your heart?
Wyll mostly, and also Astarion.
Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?
Yes, all of the ones I've listed so far! The newest ones were Minscstarion and Ulsin LOOL I sort of was the flagship for both of those.
What fic meant the most to you to write?
What's Become of You, because that was the first long-form creative writing project I've ever done! I'd only done short stories before then, and then I sat down and churned out a novel-length fanfiction. it meant a lot to me to know that it was something I'm capable of.
What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
Probably also What's Become of You, but all of the fics I've written have made me super happy. If they didn't make me happy, I wouldn't write them. Right now, the fic I'm working on (titled "Sorry For Your Loss") is really making me excited too, but I won't be posting it for a while.
What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?
Again, What's Become of You.
What fic was the most difficult to write?
The one I'm currently working on. Where What's Become of You basically already had a whole plot outline because it just follows the entire plot of BG3, Sorry For Your Loss is far more original and has required SO much outlining and re-outlining and re-re-re-outlining, and I've redone so many chapters from the ground up because I wasn't happy with them. It's been a real challenge, but it's one that I'm really excited to keep conquering >:^)
What fic was the easiest to write?
Keep Talking, for sure. That one's just brainless smut. Of course, that's made it my most popular wyllstarion fanfiction HAHAHAHAHA.... but that's how these things go.
What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?
Shortest was Keep Talking, longest was What's Become of You.
What were your go-to writing songs?
The "deep focus" playlist on spotify hahahahaha I can't listen to stuff with lyrics much when I'm writing, and a lot of other background songs end up distracting me. Honestly, 75% of the time I'm just writing in silence.... or to the sound of a busy crowd. (Don't worry, I don't write anything NSFW in public.)
What was the hardest fic to title?
Health Potions (Or: If Only Someone Here Knew Cure Light Wounds). That one was a toss up, and as you can see, I still couldn't choose between two titles lmao
What's your favorite title of the year?
Probably A Haughty Spirit (Goeth Before a Fall) because that's a bible verse I chopped up and that just cracks me up a little bit. I have the title for an eventual sequel planned if I ever write it, which would be "To Be Humble (In Spirit with the Lowly)."
Share your favorite opening line
Do chapter opening lines count? Here's a sneak peek from Sorry For Your Loss.
Share your favorite ending line
Another chapter ending line from Sorry For Your Loss.
Share your favorite piece of dialogue
Share your funniest line
"He was the best-dressed homeless man in the city. Of this he was sure."
What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
While working on my latest fic, a certain conversation went in a totally different direction than I planned, but I ended up really liking how it turned out. I had to go back to the drawing board for a couple things later in the story because of it, but I think it's way better this way.
What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?
Google Drive mostly. I like to write things on paper when I'm outlining, or when I'm feeling stuck. It keeps me from deleting things, and I care less about getting it Perfect that way.
If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?
Finishing What's Become of You, definitely.
Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
No, I wanted to get a cake for What's Become of You, but I had plans that day and that ended up being fun enough that I didn't feel the need to get a cake.
How did you recharge between fics?
Laying on the floor. I don't actually have a recharge method, I just write when inspiration strikes me.
Did you create fanworks other than fic?
Oh, yes. So much fanart lmao.
How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)
Just one! Wyllstarion Secret Solstice event, but I did art instead of writing for that one.
If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
@foxflowering definitely!! She really helped me improve my writing so much and she was such a fantastic editor for What's Become of You.
What's left on your to-do list for 2024?
Keep writing Sorry For Your Loss, really.
What would you like to write next year?
I want to finish Sorry For Your Loss and do a couple more short-form Wyllstarion pieces. I have ideas! Lots of ideas!!!!
A slightly revised version of last year's questions! Two ways to play: Reblog and have your followers send you numbers, or answer the whole list!
How many fics have you worked on since January?
What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?
What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)
How many fandoms did you write for this year?
What ships captured your heart?
What characters captured your heart?
Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?
What fic meant the most to you to write?
What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?
What fic was the most difficult to write?
What fic was the easiest to write?
What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?
What were your go-to writing songs?
What was the hardest fic to title?
What's your favorite title of the year?
Share your favorite opening line
Share your favorite ending line
Share your favorite piece of dialogue
Share your funniest line
What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?
If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?
Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
How did you recharge between fics?
Did you create fanworks other than fic?
How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)
If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
What's left on your to-do list for 2024?
What would you like to write next year?
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Merry Christmas, guys!!! Ok, so this is a day early, but I wanted to say thanks to you all with a feel-good follow-up to my Game Night fic! So, here: a Christmas Eve sleepover with the boys, and they’re on their VERY best behaviour this time, I promise 😌
The Night Before Christmas
L&DS Boys X Reader
(Recommended to read this fic first, if you haven't already!)
Summary: It’s time to get the gang back together!!!
Genre: Fluff + humour
Warnings/Additional Tags: gn!reader, kinda poly? but mostly platonic, a lil bit of wholesome intimacy, one particularly suggestive joke from Sylus (he can’t help himself), also probably needs another proofread but my eyes are tired 💀
| Word count: 4.8k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!
“Right! Let’s try this again.”
You glance around your living room with your hands on your hips, channelling your inner Captain Jenna as you fight to suppress flashbacks that verge on traumatic.
Some of this is exactly the same as last time. Sylus is sprawled in the same spot on your couch, looking inordinately pleased with himself for someone who has only just arrived. The very image of smugness; you immediately suspect that something is horribly wrong, or on track to go horribly wrong. You glance to the other couch, where Xavier and Rafayel sit, equally braced for your presentation. Neither one has been teleported to the roof of your building.
Sylus is reading your relief, and he gives you an exclusive smile, as if to say: yet.
Try not to think about it.
You stand by a large drawing pad— currently flipped closed to create a suspense that only Xavier has bought into. He gives you an eager nod, the blue of his eyes warm and encouraging.
The faces around you haven’t changed, but your little apartment has. Strings of twinkling lights run around your walls, casting faint, festive glows. There’s frost on your windows. Littered everywhere are ornaments: small, glittery birds and wintery creatures. Lots of snowman plushies, courtesy of a few, dedicated arcade expeditions with your favourite doctor.
New season, new start.
“We all remember how this went last time,” you push on finally. “Mistakes were made. Shit happened. Whatever— we’re not gonna dwell on it.”
Sylus lifts his hand. “I, for one, would enjoy a reminder of said mistakes.”
“Motion denied,” you dismiss with a grin and a customer-service enthusiasm that screams: don’t fuck with me right now. Sylus’s eyes sparkle, like embers anxious to become something brighter— more destructive. Don’t think about it. “It wasn’t my fault. You outnumbered me four-to-one that night, which is why my first order of business today is to appoint a co-host.”
Rafayel’s hand shoots into the air. You look at him incredulously. Zayne is stood beside you, his arms folded, and everyone else in the room has connected those particular dots.
“It’s Zayne, Rafayel,” you sigh.
“What?!” He sits up straighter. “Why him?! What are his qualifications, huh? His credentials?”
“I’ve never set the kitchen on fire,” Zayne says.
The artist scoffs, adds under his breath: “Turned it into an ice rink, though.”
There’s a chuckle from Sylus, and a part of you feels bad, pitting Zayne against the others like this. But he’s not alone. He has you, just you, so you should probably do something. “That actually brings me really nicely to my next point, Raf, thank you.”
Unexpected praise. Rafayel stutters, a faint blush to his cheeks, and you take full advantage of having staggered him. “Zayne, do you wanna…?”
“Of course.” The dark-haired man adjusts his glasses, then addresses the rest of the room. “In the interest of everyone’s safety, we have devised a few rules to be adhered to for the rest of the evening. These will be enforced by a point system, which we will record… here.”
He flips the drawing pad open, and a blank table fills the top half of the page. Each quarter has been assigned a name. “Basically—” you gesture to it— “three strikes and you’re out.”
None of your guests look perturbed by this.
“The first rule is simple,” Zayne explains, pulling away a strip of paper from the bottom of the page, then reading the writing underneath: “No unauthorised use of Evols.”
Rafayel’s hand shoots up again. You tilt your head at it. “Yes, Raf?”
“Ok, so what if there’s a power-cut or something? Lights are out. Heating’s out. Big disaster, yeah? You’re saying I couldn’t—?” He clicks his fingers, spawning a small flame.
“We would use my Evol,” Xavier says with the gentle authority he uses to steer civilians away from a Wanderer incursion. “It’s safer.”
The flame is snuffed out. Rafayel huffs: “Don’t you use it to, like, kill things?”
“Yeah…” Xavier shrugs. “Bad things.”
“Second rule!” you chime.
“Second rule,” Zayne echoes, peeling back the next strip of paper. There’s absolutely no showmanship, nor energy at all as he continues, “No unauthorised sarcasm.”
Another hand raises. “What would be authorised sarcasm?” Xavier asks, squinting as though he can’t quite figure it out on his own.
You purse your lips in thought. “If it makes me laugh?”
Rafayel is stroking his chin, his eyes narrowed, because he’s also thinking. “High risk, high reward,” he muses, and you shoot him a smile.
This is going better than you thought it would, actually. If you were to turn a few more pages of the drawing pad, you would see crude illustrations of the worst-case scenarios you’d sketched out for Zayne earlier. There’s one where Rafayel is trying to strangle Sylus with Christmas lights. There’s another where Zayne has turned you all into snowmen.
Don’t get ahead of yourself, though. The evening is young, and the snowman scenario is still very much on the table.
Culprit of about ninety percent of your nightmarish visions and drawings— Sylus has been unnervingly silent. You meet eyes with him, an inherent mistrust in your gaze. The success of this sweet, humble Christmas Eve hinges on you figuring out what he’s here for. His agenda. His ulterior motives.
What does he want from tonight? He smirks at you. You’re vaguely competent, and you can figure it out without him holding your hand, can’t you?
That reminds you of something. “Zayne.” You jostle your co-host by his arm. “Do the last rule!”
You’re excited about the last rule.
Zayne isn’t; he hesitates. “The last rule…” He rubs at the back of his neck. “It’s… it’s only applicable to you, Sylus.”
Sylus is now also excited about the last rule. You can tell from the way his lips part, for a second, like he wants to tell you just how flattered he is you spend so much of your time thinking about him.
You put Zayne out of his misery, tearing the final strip of paper away from the pad. The paper flutters to the ground like a very plain snowflake, and you wiggle your fingers, adorning the final rule with a touch of pizazz:
No smirking, sass, or general smugness.
A corner of Sylus’s mouth lifts. “Believe it or not, kitten, your little point system doesn’t scare me.”
You pick up the pen and score a mark under his name.
“Oh no,” he mutters lifelessly.
“Sarcasm!” Rafayel coughs.
You’re well ahead of him, already turning to make another mark. “Gods,” you hear Sylus grimace, not much more than a whisper, “you’re such a boy scout.”
There’s a snort from Rafayel. “Sorry, say that again? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of you totally getting kicked out of here.”
“Sarcasm,” Sylus says.
“Wait, I didn’t mean— no!”
You giggle as you issue Rafayel’s first strike, and he groans behind you, slumping down in his seat. When you turn back around, his face is buried in his hands.
Sylus is smirking again, but the expression drops the moment he senses your gaze. You both know what’s at stake here. Back in the N109 Zone, Luke and Kieran are lamenting the fact that you’ve stolen their leader— it’s not very Christmassy of you, after all. There were a lot of things they wanted to do with him. Snowball fights, presents, and a heist that required disguises: Santa and his two, hard-working elves. They already have the suit, custom-made for him.
So here is the big, bad boss of Onychinus, hiding in your apartment, and definitely not smirking.
You pop the lid back onto your pen, then post it into your pocket like you’re holstering an all-powerful weapon. That’s one point to you and Zayne, and zero points to Sylus, thank you very much.
…
“What are you doing?”
Sylus sighs, evading a furious lilac gaze while he focuses on the task at hand. Freshly escaped from you and the doctor’s terrifying lecture, he’s making the most of his liberty.
“What I am doing,” he mumbles, tying string around a sprig of mistletoe, “is between me and our charming host. Run along, little artist.” He tightens the knot. “This doesn’t concern you.”
Rafayel crosses his arms, his eyes dark. “You’re cheating.”
“Ha.” Sylus spares him a glance out of pity. “You’re jealous.”
“Am not.”
He definitely is, but Sylus doesn’t have time for this game. He can hear you in your bedroom, rooting around for the phone charger you’d vanished in search of. Your door isn’t closed, but it’s closed enough. You can’t see him. He can’t see you. What a perfect opportunity.
“Give it to me,” Rafayel says— an interruption that warrants a roll of the eyes.
“No.”
“Give it—“ the artist starts again, then makes a grab for the mistletoe. Now that’s jealousy. He could incinerate the plant with a click of his fingers, but no, he wants it. Covets it.
Sylus chuckles quietly, his arm stretching up: holding the mistletoe out of an ever-more desperate reach.
To Rafayel’s credit, he persists. He goes up on his toes, tugging at the older man’s sleeve to try and drag the mistletoe closer. The plant evaporates in a swirl of dark energy the second he succeeds. It materialises behind Sylus’s back, in his other hand, and Rafayel realises instantly. He tries to stretch his arms around him. To take it from him.
“Absolutely not!”
Sylus’s fingers are suddenly empty. Mistletoe-less. He turns reluctantly, still holding Rafayel back.
You stand at your wide-open door, one hand on your hips and the other clutching his confiscated item. You’re frowning. Tapping your foot. Your lips are pursed adorably.
“What a coincidence, kitten,” Sylus smiles, and behind him, Rafayel pokes his tongue out, overcome with nausea. “I was just thinking about you.”
“Clearly.” You jostle the mistletoe, looking… disappointed? Huh. “Never thought I’d catch you indulging an old cliche.”
Sylus shrugs charmingly, like a cat performing a leisurely stretch after toppling a vase from a very high shelf.
“Give me the rest of it,” you command.
“Hmm?”
“The back-up mistletoe, Sy. I’m not an idiot.”
Sylus scoffs, but you do have him wrapped oh so prettily around your finger. He rolls his neck, stalling. If giving up were a slope, he would already be a heap at the bottom of it, but he doesn’t really mind. Three more sprigs of mistletoe appear from thin air, dropping into your open hands.
“Honestly, Sylus,” you groan, stepping past him. Then you thrust the plants to the artist’s chest. “Burn these, Raf.” You’re dusting your hands down as you walk away.
Sylus frowns. That’s neither ideal nor part of the plan.
Rafayel is looking at him, telling him with gloating silence that there’s no playing diplomat, here— no negotiating the return of the hostages. That bridge has been— rather fittingly— burned. The mistletoe turns slowly to ash: darkened by licks of flame that curl with the eager spite of their master’s lips.
It would be beautiful if it wasn’t so damned inconvenient. When the fire’s had its fun, one sprig of mistletoe remains, rich green and ivory— wholly untouched. You’re across the room, talking to Zayne, so Rafayel smirks in triumph. Tucks his prize into his pocket.
Sylus’s heart sinks with it, but he still smiles back.
…
Rafayel isn’t looking too good.
Well, the Rafayel is looking fine, but your Rafayel? Not so much. You steal a glance at the artist across the cluttered kitchen island; he’s sat, leaning, propped up on his elbows, his eyes glazed— he’s clearly away with the fishies. He catches you staring. Gives you a wink.
You glance down at the gingerbread man you’ve been decorating: the blue-pink of his iced eyes, and the mess of purple hair, at least three shades too dark. Oh, gods— probably a million shades too dark through the gaze of a Lemurian. At least the outfit is cute? You’ve recreated Rafayel’s signature cardigan. The plaid pattern isn’t quite straight, but that was a… deliberate choice. This is your interpretation of his cardigan, and you wanted it to reflect its owner. A little all over the place, but still, you love it. Even when it’s coming undone, it keeps you warm.
“Would you like to go next?”
Zayne is talking to you, smiling at you. He was the first to reveal his gingerbread creation: a miniature Xavier that was surprisingly true to life. Your hunting partner had almost glowed with delight, while you were dark with jealousy. The biscuit sits before you all, boasting details that could only be achieved with an exceedingly steady hand.
Worse: Rafayel’s gingerbread is next to it, stupidly, predictably perfect. It’s Zayne. It’s really Zayne, from the sweep of black hair to the hazel eyes; how on earth did he manage to make that colour? The tiny doctor is dressed in his lab coat, sporting his badge and a pocketful of even tinier pens and medical instruments. There’s… shading? Ugh, you can see the creases in the fabric.
“Umm… sure, I can go next,” you mumble.
It was just your luck, pulling Rafayel’s name out of that hat. Sheepishly, you move aside the cookbook you’d stood to guard your project from any prying eyes. Your gingerbread is nudged forwards.
“That’s me!” Rafayel exclaims.
“Yeah…” you confirm half-heartedly. “Sorry, I know it’s not great, but I—”
Lack the skill of a celebrity artist, or the steady hands of a cardiac surgeon? You have no idea which exact pool of self-pity your sentence was set on drowning within, but it doesn’t matter. Rafayel has plucked your gingerbread up for a closer look, and his smile is enormous. “This is amazing!”
“You don’t have to—”
“That’s my cardigan!” He’s crashing the pity party again. “And look at my eyes— the colours! This little guy is so handsome, yeah? You really did me justice, cutie. Look at him!”
He holds the gingerbread up to his face, trying to match its two-dimensional grin. He looks around for affirmation, and it’s just his luck, because is a single man at this table ever going to insult your hard work?
“The eyes are amazing,” Xavier enthuses. “Like the sky at sunset. Who knew my partner was so talented?”
“I did,” Rafayel chirps happily.
Xavier frowns. “No, it was rhetori— never mind.” He smiles at you. Rolls with it. “I knew too, by the way.”
“As did I,” Zayne adds.
Everyone looks at Sylus, who shrugs a shoulder and says, “It was up for debate.”
“Can we please move onto the next person?” you press. This is all too much attention. “Sylus, can you… please?”
He does like it when you beg, but he likes it even more when he can play knight in shining armour. “My pleasure, sweetie.”
For a man whose creative side is mostly indulged by vintage gun restorations, he reveals his gingerbread with a staggering amount of confidence. It’s placed at the centre of the kitchen island, where you all stare down at it. Its hair is snow-white, and its eyes: blood-red.
“That’s…” Zayne begins.
“That’s you, Sylus!” you take-over, voice shrill with betrayal. “You were supposed to say something if you picked yourself! And you— wait, what are…?” There are distinct lines over the gingerbread’s midriff. It dawns on you: “Are those abs?!”
Sylus shrugs again.
“They so are!” You snatch up the biscuit, standing to wave it in Sylus’s face like a crime-scene photo. “Where’s his shirt, huh?”
“He lost it.”
“Bullshit!” you snap. This gingerbread competition had come with its own set of rules, one of which was very clearly: “Nothing obscene! I said nothing obscene, Sylus!”
He leans away from you with a tut. “It’s tasteful, sweetie. The artist will tell you.”
“The artist is staying out of this,” Rafayel murmurs, off to your side.
Sylus crosses his arms, regardless, as though his case has been made. You cross your arms too.
“Can I show you my gingerbread now?” Xavier asks, and his tone is deceivingly soft: a hand on your shoulder, pulling you back.
You release the tension in your body with a sigh, then set the gingerbread down so you can’t throw it at Sylus’s un-smug face (which he’s been very careful about.) “Of course, Xavier,” you smile, slinking back onto your stool. You can throw something at Sylus later. “Ooh, is it me? It has to be me, right?”
Xavier chuckles awkwardly. “It’s you. I don’t think it’s very good, though.”
“Show me!” you insist.
The final cookbook is removed, and Xavier unveils his hard work. You clamp a hand to your mouth.
You don’t have a single word for what you’re looking at— only laughter, and you can’t let yourself laugh, no matter what. If that gingerbread is you? Then it’s a you who’s been torn apart by Wanderers, at least seven consecutive times. Your face is a swirl of colours and features— you think Xavier must have tried to wipe it off to start again, more than once, but it hasn’t worked.
The gingerbread has been broken, too. Three of the four limbs, to be exact, and that you could forgive, but… did he have to use dark red icing to glue them back on? It drips out of the joins messily, almost making you wince.
Everyone is silent.
“A perfect likeness,” says Sylus.
You burst out laughing, and the moment you do, Rafayel’s right there with you. Even Sylus caves— it’s one of the most sincere laughs you’ve ever heard from him. There are tears in your eyes; you can’t help it. Zayne is the strongest of you, but even the tight line of his mouth quivers. He’s biting his lip.
But it’s fine. Xavier is laughing, too. “I said it wasn’t very good!”
“Xavier!” you wheeze. You can’t even look at him. Your stomach hurts. “What… what happened to me?!”
“What do you mean?” he practically giggles.
“What do I mean?” you repeat, and it tips you into another breathless bout of laughter. You go to point at the gingerbread— all the explanation you need— but it almost kills you. You really can’t breathe. After half a minute, you try again. “I look like I’ve been in an accident!”
“Here,” Rafayel grins, and he slides the Doctor Zayne gingerbread over to poor, suffering gingerbread you.
“Aww!” you smile, having finally caught your breath.
Wordlessly, Zayne retrieves his likeness— pulling it away from yours. You frown at him, as confused and wounded as Xavier apparently imagines you. “Even I have my limits,” the doctor shrugs.
That’s it. You’re gone again, your sides aching as your whole body shakes with laughter. It’s too much. Gods, it’s too much. You’re gonna need another minute.
…
“I can’t believe you made you.”
It’s been fifteen or so minutes, and you toy with Sylus’s gingerbread counterpart, pinching his hands between your thumbs and forefingers— making him walk (well, penguin waddle) across the kitchen island.
“Believe it, sweetie,” Sylus huffs with a smile.
“Is this really how you see yourself?”
Before you can walk the gingerbread any further, his creator plucks him up by his head, away from your reaching fingers. “It’s how I think you should see me,” he chuckles. He holds the gingerbread out to you. Wiggles it. “For your eyes only, kitten.”
“Except the other guys saw it—”
“Shhhh, shh shh!” In his haste to silence you, he almost pushes the gingerbread to your lips.
You glare at him. Complain from behind it: “Get your shirtless abs out of my face, Sylus.”
“Make me.”
You snatch the gingerbread, pinning it down on the counter. “Keep pushing your luck, Sy. Wanna see what’ll happen?”
He absolutely does, and his eyes glint with mirth as you reach for a near-empty bowl of crimson icing. You scrape some of it up with a discarded teaspoon, then let it drip generously over his gingerbread. It takes a few, long seconds to really cover him in it. To make him look as fatally tragic as gingerbread you.
“Here,” you say, dropping the spoon in a bowl with a satisfied clink. You hold out the gingerbread. “This’ll be you when I’m done with you.”
Sylus regards it for a moment, his eyebrow quirked. Then his eyes find your gingerbread likeness. “Want to see what you’ll look like when I’m done with you?”
His hand goes out for the bowl of red icing, except… it goes past the bowl of red icing, and lands on a tube of white icing instead. He holds it up with a smile.
“Inappropriate.”
The tube is swept out of his fingers, and he blinks at the empty space, legitimately surprised.
“It was snow, doctor,” he remarks bitterly, once he’s recovered from the second ambush of the evening. He glances over his shoulder. “From a snowball fight?”
“Sure it was,” Zayne mutters, already turning back to the bowl he’s washing in the sink.
Sylus is frowning, affronted, but the expression softens when you’re filling his gaze again. You: your hands on your mouth, so close to spilling laughter. “Oooooh,” you tease with a secretive sing-song voice, “you got in trouble!”
He wrinkles his nose like ‘trouble’ is an insult. It sets you off sniggering uncontrollably.
“What did I miss?”
It’s Xavier, back from the lounge.
“Nothing,” Sylus answers.
“He got in trouble!” you counteract with a not-at-all quiet whisper.
You earn a glare from the criminal, and a little laugh from the hunter. “Third-strike trouble?” the latter enquires. He might have handcuffs on stand-by; it wouldn’t surprise you.
“Not yet,” you grin cheerfully.
Zayne sets a plate on the drying rack. “Give it time.”
…
“I don’t think we have enough, sweetie,” Sylus quips, peeking over the stack of blankets you’ve piled high on his arms.
What was it Rafayel said? High risk, high reward? You mercifully chuckle. Your arms are wrapped around three, plush cushions— the last of your sleepover supplies. Snacks? Are ready. Guests? Haven’t killed each-other yet. You toe open your bedroom door, shouldering the rest of the way through with your missing puzzle pieces of luxury.
“Oh, nice!” someone exclaims from the kitchen. Xavier is watching you, starry-eyed, and his cheeks are full; he’s midway through a cookie.
Sylus steps through the door behind you, issuing a faint noise of disgust. He sounds like he’s being attacked by a bug, so you turn around, ready to leap to the rescue. He’s stood within the door frame, eyes cast upwards to where a sprig of mistletoe hangs on the end of a string. It’s swaying gently; he must have caught his head on it. You frown, lips parted. He was with you the whole time you were looting your bedroom. When did he…? How did he…?
He looks down at you, the mistletoe still hovering above him. You raise an eyebrow, waiting for the inevitable joke, or the even more inevitable invitation.
“I��’ he starts gingerly, “I didn’t…”
Oh. He’s just as confused as you are, and it’s… really cute. He’s lost for words— the man who came here with not one, but four sprigs of mistletoe. The man who threatened your gingerbread with white icing. The man who’s spent the entire evening thinking about how he wants to be close to you.
Sylus laughs, but it’s full of nervousness. “It’s alright,” he says, “you don’t have to—”
You tilt him towards you, your hand on his shoulder and cushions around your feet. “Merry Christmas, Sy,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to his cheek. It’s warm on your lips.
His eyes flutter closed. “Merry Christmas,” he breathes, barely more than a whisper.
You hum contentedly as you pull away from him. When his eyes reopen, they’re warm with a nostalgia you cannot explain, but you can feel, too— so inexplicably. His gaze is blood-red, but it makes you think of flowers.
What a funny feeling. It strikes you a lot, nowadays, and not just with the man in front of you.
Speaking of the others, you glance towards your lounge. Xavier is telling Zayne a story, and Rafayel is watching you from over the back of the sofa— turning away when you spot him. That’s one mystery solved. You collect the cushions from the floor, sparing Sylus a smile before you meander back to your party. The coffee table’s a banquet of sweet, sugary snacks, so you carefully skirt past it.
Xavier’s hands grab at air. You laugh and toss him a cushion. “Thanks,” he grins.
“Here— your favourite.” Zayne is pointing at your freshly-filled mug, and you grin your own thank you as you settle down next to him.
Sylus soon arrives too, handing out blankets, and for all the evening’s animosity, he gets a grateful smile for each. He sits down next to Xavier, and it’s odd, you know? You’ve slain Wanderers, saved lives with every person around you. You’ve seen them bleed and kill.
They’re all wrapping themselves up, like snuggly little Christmas presents. Xavier’s managed to collect another cushion— from Zayne, maybe?— and he’s practically building a fort on his side of the couch. Some of it infringes on Sylus’s space, and you notice him notice, but he doesn’t say a word. Oblivious, tucked under two blankets, Xavier’s already looking sleepy.
Someone’s making less of an effort to get comfortable. On the other side of you, Rafayel sits, uncharacteristically quiet. He hasn’t met your eyes since you sat down. You remember him, watching you under the mistletoe from across the room, and the thought has you leaning in closer.
“That was sweet of you,” you whisper, even though he disobeyed you.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shrugs.
But he does, so you kiss his cheek, ever so fondly, with that funny feeling in your chest again. It’s the first time, but it doesn’t strike you as such. Uncharted waters, a foreign land— when have I been here before?
Rafayel has relaxed: sunken deep into the sofa and the security of your touch. You smile, pulling his blanket up higher around him— tighter around him— until he’s as much of a cocoon as everyone else. His lips curve with a smile of surrender, ever-willingly captured. Silly fish.
You draw away from him, readjusting in your seat until you’re cuddled up next to Zayne. You don’t see the wink Rafayel shoots Sylus, or the look of begrudging respect in the latter’s red eyes.
“Are you comfortable?” Zayne asks, head angling towards yours.
Co-host to co-host. “Yeah.” You snuggle closer to him. “This is kinda perfect, isn’t it?” He feels cold, despite his Sylus-issued blanket, so you lend him part of yours.
“No,” he confers softly, distractedly.
“No?”
“No.” He gives you a look, and you know it as intimately as the chill of his hands and the warmth of his heart. His ‘I know something that you don’t’ look. Sure enough, he says: “I think it’s missing something.”
On the other sofa, Xavier is beaming at you, having caught onto your conversation. It’s suspicious— harmless conspiracy, surprise-party sort of suspicious, but your pulse still picks up.
“Close your eyes,” Zayne instructs.
And you do, without question. Darkness, yes, but you’re under his care, aren’t you? There’s no anxiousness in your excitement, just trust for the man who was looking out for you long before he was your doctor. Your hands are over your eyes and you’re younger, again, playing hide-and-seek, again.
Zayne’s is a familiarity you can place. A nostalgia built on memories, not reveries.
Something icy touches your hand, then melts without any resistance.
“Open,” Zayne prompts, leaning against you to stir you.
Your apartment has changed again. The lights are all out, save for the fairy lights. The spectrum of colours flicker from the walls and the tree, catching on tiny, white specs in the air. Snowflakes are drifting down, impossibly. Falling, dancing— maybe a bit of both. You look up and some land on your face, cold with their kisses. You giggle in delight.
Everyone’s gaze is on the ceiling: sapphire, emerald, amethyst, ruby. It ought to be dark. Instead, an entire night sky fills the space above you, scattered with thousands of stars. Every pinprick is deliberate. Meticulously placed. There are constellations— infinite patterns that transcend every life you might’ve lead, and every life you’ll ever lead (if you believe in that sort of thing.)
Xavier glances at you, and you forgo the spell of his masterpiece so that you can glance back. Snowflakes are in his hair, dusting him with sparkles. He smiles in a way you think could defy lifetimes, too.
“This is… really something,” Sylus says, and there’s not a hint of sarcasm.
It’s everything. The stars, brighter for darkness. The snow, only novel in warmth. These things don’t always work— they’ll undo each-other, overpower each-other, but there’s an ultimate balance, in-between every conflict. An occasional harmony, and it’s…
Perfect.
Rafayel scoots close to you. “Was this authorised?” he whispers.
You look over to the point board, where there are first strikes beneath Zayne and Xavier’s names, and you don’t know how long they’ve been there.
“No,” you laugh tenderly. “No, it wasn’t.”
#🖋rach is actually writing#xavier x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#love and deepspace#lads x reader#lads x mc#shen xinghui#li shen#qi yu#qin che#lads#lnds#l&ds
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Don't Leave- Prologue
Sevika x Reader
MDI!! +18
You were Sevika's most loyal pet.
Warnings for whole story: (I will avoid giving too much detail of the plot of the fic, read at your own risk.) SMUT, Sexual descriptions, age gap, ANGST, SLOOOOW BURN (years literaly pass, kidnapping, aggression, Toxic relationship, aggression, cheating (situationship type), Sevika does not even like (or respect) the reader, Reader is delusional. Sevika hasn't lost her arm (yet), manipulation, reader might be described as curvy. More warnings be added later. SLOW WRITER! (sorry)
English is not my first language. I struggle a lot with punctuation and grammar. This will take multiple parts, and its set before the first events of Arcane. Its technically an x reader, but I will avoid using (Y/N) the best I can. There is an age gap in this story, the reader is also a bit weird and obsessive.
Sevika made her way through the crowd, her steel-toed boots making loud thumps as she marched along the wood and metal floors of the Last Drop. She headed to the ornate doorway of the top floor. The men guarding the entrance knew better than to attempt to block her path. The door swung open and banged against the wall, slammed shut just as loud. Silco did not even need to glance up to see who it was, he called her up after all.
“You asked to see me, boss?”
"Have you been taking good care of your pets, Sevika?" Silco questioned as he reviewed their latest shimmer supply record.
She nearly rolled her eyes at his question. "My men know their place— they do as I say, no questions asked. They don’t need pampering."
"You must already know how vital loyalty is for someone of your position. Particularly the ones you are affiliated with." The man poured himself a glass of liquor. “So then? How have you been treating your pets?”
The woman slumped down on a wooden coffee table, not bothering with the fancy velvet settee. "What exactly are you getting at?”
"Certain rumors are spreading around," Silco picked up his drink, swirled the golden-hued beverage, and leaned back in his seat. "In regards to Sheriff Grayson."
Sevika scowled as she heard the Piltie’s name. “What type of rumors?” She drew a cigarette from her vest and dug into her back pocket for her lighter.
"Insiders say Sheriff Grayson is going around digging for dirt."
Sevika blew a cloud of smoke out her nostrils, the burn alleviated the itch in her lungs. “Thought the Piltie had no interest in ‘fixing’ Zaun.”
"The sheriff does have a deal with Vander.” Silco dropped the papers on the table, no longer interested in revising them. “But things can change fairly quickly."
“You think she will start meddling with our business?”
"She might," Silco said, circling his chair to look at his large window. "There are numerous sightings, all late in the night. She visits one person in particular.”
“And you want me to deal with them?”
Sevika could tell Silco was more amused than enraged. Especially by the stupidly obnoxious way he swirled the liquid in his glass. Strange, considering that the possibility of the Sheriff suddenly placing importance on their business was a big reason for stress.
“Sources claim that the sheriff has been visiting a little seamstress.”
Sevika froze for a moment. So this was it? This was the reason why you've been avoiding her for months? Her jaw clenched in anger. Of course. Of course, Grayson would be targeting her... she pushed her thoughts aside, focusing on what was important.
“Blue building, three stories high, store front at the bottom, sound familiar?”
"Yes, I know the place.” She answered, gripping the cigar in her thick fingers and drawing it away from her lips.
Silco turned his chair to face her once again.
"The sheriff has been going in late at night, and leaving before sunrise.
The girl was a..... plaything of yours,” He arched his thinning brow. “right?"
Sevika averted her eyes. She despised being questioned. “I never claimed her as my own, just.. entertainment. A distraction.”
Silco leaned back in his chair, his eye never leaving Sevika’s face. "And, don't you think it's odd that the Sheriff is visiting your ‘distraction’, night after night?" his voice both serious and amused.
No, you wouldn’t. You were an attention-seeking hog, but you were too obsessed, too devoted to her for something like that. But then again... you had stopped attending to her needs. After ‘that night’ you had not shown up at the Last Drop to see her. Or tried to seduce her, shown at her doorstep for some fun, or showed your face anywhere she frequented.
“Are you implying she’s a snitch? For Grayson? My brat?”
Silco chuckled, taking another sip of his drink. "I’m not implying anything, Sevika. I’m merely stating the facts. Grayson has been spotted entering that little seamstress shop, night after night. And I find it awfully convenient that your little pet happens to be involved."
Sevika clenched her jaw, her irritation and anger growing with every word Silco spoke. "Bullshit," she hissed. "She would never.”
But a small, nagging doubt crept into her mind. It had been months since you stopped seeing her. Could it be that you were working with Grayson? Betraying her? No, there was no way. Was there?
Sevika took a long drag from her cigarette, calming her nerves before she spoke again. "Even if Grayson has been visiting that shop, it doesn’t prove anything," Sevika said, her tone stern. “There's no proof that they are involved."
"We don't, but we don't have any proof she is not either," Silco said, looking at how his glass gleamed with the moonlight. "I was going to let two of my men give her a visit for answers, but I doubt you'd appreciate me bruising one of your apples."
Sevika grimaced at the thought of you being roughened up by some ruffians. "No. Nobody touches her. I'll handle this myself." She snuffed out, her cigar on one of Silco's trinket plates.
Sevika stood up from her seat, determined to find out the truth. She needed to know if you were truly working with Grayson and if you had sold her out. She headed towards the door, her mind set on confronting the little seamstress she had spent most nights with for the last 3 years. Her hand grasped the door's brass knob.
"Take better care of your pets, Sevika," Silco said, "She was so loyal just months ago."
Sevika paused in the doorway, her hand on the handle. Silco's words dug deep, reminding her of the once loyal girl who used to attend to her needs.
"You think I don't know that Silco?" she said, her voice low and laced with irritation. "Just... let me handle this." She walked out and slammed the door behind her.
#sevika x reader#sevika arcane#sevika#Arcane#sevika x reader smut#sevika x reader angst#sevika x y/n#sevika x you#young silco#arcane silco#wlw#arcane fanfic#sevika fanfic#wlw angst#lesbian#Gar fic fic
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christmas party hop
note : SECRET SANTA FIC FOR @candlekiss !!! MERYY CHRISTMAS THIS IS EXTREMELY RUSHED BUT I WISH YOU THE MERRIEST CHRISTMAS I HOPE YOU GET EVERYTHING YOU WANTED!!!! the quality inst that good because I didn’t write this in like an hour im so so sorry erm
wc : 1.5k
tags : @withonly-sweetheart @leonsecretsanta
desc : roommates and mistletoe don’t mix well. roommates to lovers, fluff (??), no outbreak au, re4r!Leon, fem!reader, not proofread
It feels like you have to force Leon to do anything that involves socializing. He can manage the dishes and laundry by any other chores himself, but when it comes to having people over, he always shuts himself away in his room. You really shouldn’t care, it’s none of your business and not everyone likes having company over, but you can’t help but wish he’d come out for at least an hour or two and have some fun.
He's always been nice to you, civil, at least. He's appreciative of any dinner you cook for him or taking time out of your day to take care of him while he's sick, he does the same for you, if he's able. It's typical roommate behavior, you think. Maybe Leon's just more comfortable around you than others, though it could also be that it's your friends that come over more than his.
But he's never really had any of his friends or coworkers come over. You've met Chris and Jill a few times, same with Claire and Marvin, but you've never come home to see any of the four sitting on the couch talking with Leon. The times that you've met them you seemed to get along, they had mentioned Leon talking about you and that you seem as sweet as he says, so that's a good thing, right?
So you get the idea of throwing a Christmas party for yours and Leon’s friends, no big deal. It's not like it's a huge thing, just a few more people in your apartment than normal, you're doing this for Leon's sake, anyway.
Only Chris and Claire had shown up thirty minutes early to help set up (which they hadn’t really mentioned to you) along with Sherry, Jill brought Carlos and they both brought more than enough booze, Marvin’s arrival was fine, your own friends came in a little loud, but they brought pies so it was ok.
But now you’re jammed in the kitchen with Sherry whose trying to scoop cookie dough onto the cookie sheet, Claire whose pulling turkey out of the oven, Carlos whose coming back into the kitchen for more beer, and yourself who has been trying and failing to make eggnog. People are still running in and out of the kitchen, squeezing behind everyone cooking, yelling over the Christmas music that was playing.
“I put up mistletoe,”Claire nudges you as she walks past, carrying the pot full of stuffing. “Keep an eye out.”
“You decorated?” You turn to face her, licking some of the eggnog off your finger.
“Sherrys idea,”
“Pssh, sure.”
“Honest! Come on,” Claire laughs, “Is there a problem?”
“I’m not kissing you,” Claire rolls her eyes, setting the pot of stuffing down onto the table and starting to scoop it out into a big bowl. Two of your friends squeeze behind you to get first pickings of the food being set out, Chris and Jill follow after.
“You gotta kick Leon off the tv, the only thing he’s watching is that stupid Christmas baking show.” One of your friends giggles trying to get your attention as you help Sherry slide the cookie sheets into the oven.
“Yeah? What do you wanna watch?”
“Well, we were supposed to turn on Home Alone ten minutes ago…” She mumbled, already shoving turkey into her mouth. You flinch away from the heat of the oven and shake your hands as you pull away, standing upright.
”Alright, alright, I’ll talk to him.” You shove by Carlos and Sherry, through the doorway into the living room and walking towards Leon who is still hogging the remote. Leon can hear you walking towards him, he looks to you, his resting face changing into a smile.
“Got no holiday cheer?” You tease, sitting next to him on the couch.
“I’m filled to the brim with it,” He mutters rolling his eyes slightly.
“Oh my God, let’s just watch some Christmas movies. I spent hours in the kitchen for this, y’know.” You lean on his shoulder and pry the remote from his grip, he sighs.
“You’re so lucky I like you,”
“No shit, come on.” You grab his hand and pull him to stand up with you, dragging him towards the doorway and into the kitchen, getting plates for the both of you while the others continue to rush around the two of you.
You’re sure that if you and Leon had a driveway, Leon would find some reason to be outside shoveling, or if you had decorated outside, he’d find another reason to fiddle with the lights. He does come out of his shell a bit and chimes in to talk to Chris and Claire, he jokes with Sherry, pokes at Carlos and plays up being offended.
He’s not paying attention to the movie, but he taps his foot along to the Christmas music that’s still playing, he follows you around, though.
Leon normally does this if the two of you are ever out together, he trails after you, trying to hold k to your sleeve so he doesn’t lose you in a crowd. You know it’s not typical roommate behavior, but you find it cute, plus it’s not hurting anyone, right?
Even when you and Leon get knocked around by everyone else in your small apartment and end up bumping into each other, he holds your gaze and almost reaches out to grab you so you can stay for another moment and ignore the party.
There are kisses under the mistletoe— all between Carlos and Jill, though.
Leon and you do get held under the doorframe for a moment. It’s when Chris is talking to Sherry in the living room while she was trying to make her way into the kitchen and when one of your friends was trying to come into the living room, both you and Leon were standing and chatting.
Leon didn’t kiss you, unfortunately.
Claire didn’t take down her decorations when the party was over, everyone helped pick up the mess they made, but your apartment looked more holly-jolly than it did before the party.
You’ve already brushed your teeth and changed into your pajamas, Leon’s done the same, but he’s been looking up for the past few minutes.
“What’re you looking at?” You question, setting your cup of water down on the counter and stepping closer as he waves you over. You stand beneath the doorframe with him, looking up at the mistletoe hanging from it.
There’s a kiss pressed to your cheek within the next second, you look back to Leon to see the grin on his face.
“Just on the cheek?” You tease, crossing your arms.
“You want it on the lips?”
“Well, that’s the tradition, isn’t it?” You giggle, bringing your hand up and cupping his cheek, he pulls you in at the same time for the kiss you both expected, only he’s a bit more passionate than you.
#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy x reader#resident evil#resident evil x reader#leonsecretsanta2024
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tapping in on the @alliwantforchristmasislou project with a donation to Trans Families (aka the Gender Odyssey Alliance)
I watched the first season of 911 with my folks as a general audience member back when I was in highschool. I liked it a lot but school and life got in the way and I totally lost track of it. Cut to this past April. I’ve joined tumblr/the world of fanfic, I’ve very recently figured out that I’m genderfluid (peep the Bio for those he/him pronouns y’all 😉), I’ve just received the news that I have finally passed my masters thesis, and I’m deep deep deep in the throes of burnout. So imagine my surprise when that fuckboy kid that banged Connie Britton is bisexual? Color me intrigued.
I truly had nothing else to do so I binged the whole show in a matter of weeks. Getting to the kiss and bucks “oh” moment really resonated with me. It was a sweet and gentle reminder that we’re never done learning things about ourselves, and that is something to be celebrated not embarrassed by.
I also fell HARD for one Tommy Kinard. I have always loved the lonely ones, the flawed ones who are trying to make themselves into better people even when they have to scrape and claw, the ones who are good at convincing everyone they’re ok when they’re not. I loved getting to watch tommy be loved, because god knows he hasn’t had nearly enough of that. I love when flawed people find a gentleness and safety with each other, and that’s what bucktommy is to me.
but what I couldn’t have anticipated was the life changing community I’ve received through this fandom. I’d written exactly one tiny fic before 911, and now I’m at almost 150k in the span of 6 months. After over a year of nothing but criticism and negativity and failure, I found a space that lifts me up, and I’m forever grateful for the joy this fandom and the friends I’ve made in it have brought me.
I decided to donate to trans families because they understand that finding yourself is a never ending journey best shared with the people you love. A message I think Buck and Tommy would be all over ❤️.
Thank you to all my friends I’ve made here. You guys have brought me back more than you’ll ever know
@racerchix21 @cliophilyra @kinardsevan @girlwonder-writes @sunnywithachanceofbi
@thepinkcrayon @judymarch15 @loopsenjoyer @nine-one-wanton @weewookinard
@bangpop91 @aplaceinme @desert--moonchild @thecarrott @herrmannhalsteadproduction
@30somethingautisticteacher @typicalopposite @bucksbignaturals @until-i-set-him-free
@dadbodbuck @littlepaws9 and I’m sure many people my brain is not letting me remember the handles of right now. Happy holidays to you all!
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Fic idea!! If its been done pls tell me, but I'm pretty sure it hasn't, as always, free to a good home!
Tattoo shop owner Price: who, after one last extremely rough mission saw the exhaustion in his boys and helped them all get medically discharged. Who found an empty shop in a quiet town and saw the potential in both the shop and his boys, who runs himself ragged doing the paperwork and reception work for the shop.
Piercer Gaz: Who used to pierce in high school, in the bathrooms for the goths, the girlies and the gays. Who actually studied up on it quite a bit over the years (its a hyperfixation), Who has lots of hidden piercings that he somehow never got busted for during his military career. Everyone who saw them was too distracted by how hot he is naked to report his piercings.
Tattoo artist /biggest customer Ghost: Who got his first (shitty) tattoo at 15 and was instantly obsessed. Who uses the controlled pain as a coping mechanism for his trauma and PTSD. Who also just genuinely enjoys covering his body in Soaps art (definitely not because he sees the parts of his body with soaps artwork on it as more valuable than the rest of it.)
Tattoo artist Soap: Who is always drawing something, who can't help but see the beauty in everything and everyone, who is obsessed with finding the right style and placement to fit each person's body and soul. Who likes leaving his art on people as a way to prove that he exists, that he is here and he has changed these people in some way, that he has mattered. (Who is absolutely not obsessed with his art being the majority of marks on Ghosts and Oc's bodies, who absolutely does not see it as a mark of ownership, what are you talking about, he just thinks they're both his its bonnie!)
Receptionist-2nd biggest customer Oc: Who's just a pretty little thing that came in one day for shelter from a storm, Who asked so many questions in that soft voice, Who seemed so pleasantly surprised when Soap ("call me Johnny, please Lovey") offered to do her first tattoo as a way to pass the time waiting for the storm to end, Who mentioned a mean boss off-handedly, Who left with a new tattoo, piercing, and job. Who ends up turning into a tattoo fiend, (price and gaz have threatened Johnny that they'll fire her if he doesn't give her flesh time to heal before the next tattoo, they tried to fire him about it but he just kept coming back. She ends up in Ghosts chair anyway with his needle carving into her skin, and nobody is going to tell Ghost he can't tattoo her, well they can but he won't listen) Who gets absorbed into their lives and home and pollycule
#call of duty fic#johnny soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#john price#kyle gaz garrick#fanfic#the brainrot is real#holy shit#call of duty
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You, Me, and Who You Used to Be | CS Fic (CSSS 2024 Gift for BelovedCreation)
Merry Christmas!!
I'm your Santa this year!! :) 🎄🎄
Using your prompts of pining, Enchanted Forest, and angst with a happy ending, I give you:
Summary: (CS movie divergence) After getting her parents back on track, Emma’s magic returns. But before she can conjure a portal home, Killian is abducted. Alone in a world she knows nothing about and with no idea how to find Killian, Emma enlists the only person—or rather, pirate—who would be as motivated to save Killian as she is. However… Killian’s past may just be what destroys the future. CS
AO3
Words (so far): 5k+
NOTE: This is currently only the first chapter of this fic - long story short, the fic I spent weeks on just was not coming together, so I last minute changed to this one. It was an idea I had written the beginning of years ago that I remembered when I was trying to find something to align with the prompts you gave me :D so I knew it would be perfect to write for your gift!! I spent the past week working super hard on this trying to get it finished for you in time, but it was getting so rushed and you do not deserve a rushed gift!! So I decided to give you the first 5k words now, and I'll be updating it with the rest over the coming weeks! :)
Chapter One (under the cut!)
A/N: Story context: This is a canon divergence of the CS movie, which begins right after Emma gets the wand from Rumplestiltskin. (He does not send him to his vault of do-not-touch things in this version tho. We’ll pretend Elsa gets to Storybrooke some other way lol. I’ll also be ignoring Marian, which, the show pretty much did when it just ended up being Zelena anyway lol.
Emma smiled at the faintly glowing wand in her fingers, feeling the warmth of the return of her magic, lighting a glow in the vast dining room of Rumplestiltskin’s castle.
Everything was back on track.
Including herself.
Perhaps she had been trying to take the easy way out, blocking her magic from returning so she could go back to New York with no ties left behind.
But more than anything, it was Killian’s smile now that made the warmth inside her grow even more, and if it wasn’t her imagination, made the wand spark a little brighter.
“It works,” whispered Emma, staring at the wand in awe, eyes snapping to Killian. “My magic is back!”
“I knew you could do it, love.” said Killian softly, a relief in his eyes, like it was for both the possibility of getting back home, and for the fact that he still blamed himself for her powers being taken in the first place.
“Ah, the Savior, of course,” murmured Rumplestiltskin from his perch on the edge of his dining table. “I should have known you would have magic of your own.”
Emma suddenly realized just how much Rumplestiltskin knew. “Is it a problem that you know…?”
“It would be,” he agreed, but lifted his hand, where a potion bottle materialized. “However, I have spent the past few hours mixing myself a Forgetting Potion.”
Emma smiled. “Good. Well, let’s do this, then.” She then lifted the wand, about to attempt to bring forth the time portal.
“Wait, wait, wait,” said Rumplestiltskin, jumping down and pushing her hand with the wand down. “Not in here. You might bring any number of my possessions with you.”
Emma winced, eyes finding the myriad of scary-looking things in the castle, wondering just how catastrophic that could be.
She looked from Killian’s raised eyebrow to Rumplestiltskin. “So where do we—“
But not a second later, Rumplestiltskin’s castle was gone, and suddenly they were outside. Trees, greenery and blue sky replaced the walls of the Dark One’s abode. They weren’t too far from the town below, and not far off was the sea. But they were in an empty enough area of the forest that no one should see anything, and nothing should come with them.
“Well,” said Killian, giving her another smile, “ready, there, Swan?”
Emma nodded. She lifted the wand again, concentrating on her magic, on the emotion in her chest, bright and raw. The tiny flicker of a portal, like a zipper drawn in the very fabric of the air, appeared before them.
Killian grinned. “That’s it, lo—”
He was cut off with a grunt, and Emma’s eyes snapped to him, her concentration broken and the tiny beginnings of the portal fizzled back out of existence.
Emma’s heart stopped.
They were no longer alone.
A burly, muscled man had his arm around Killian’s neck in a chokehold, his other arm pinning Killian’s left arm to his side. Killian let out an angry, surprised snarl, jerking hard against the grip.
“Hook!” cried Emma, jamming the wand in her back pocket to hide it and running toward him, only skidding to a stop when three other thugs suddenly flanked the first.
“Sw—“ began Killian, his right hand scrabbling at the hold around his neck, but his airway was quickly cut off. Red rushed to his face, and Emma’s heart froze.
“Sorry, darlin’,” said the man’s raspy voice. “We got direct orders to bring Captain Hook in. He stole from us last night, and now he gon’ pay. Pretty stupid to show yer face in the open like this, without yer crew, no less.” A dark chuckle. “Shoulda sailed away when he had the chance.” To someone behind him, he shouted, “Lucky catch, men!”
Killian struggled against them, something angry and feral, landing a blow to the man's gut. The man growled and stumbled, and Killian reared back to hit him again until the man snapped, “Stop fightin’ or the wench dies!” That made Killian freeze, staring at her with icy horror.
For a moment, Emma and Killian stared at each other, and it felt like time stood still.
Panic rushed through Emma's chest.
Magic.
Magic.
But she had no idea how to use her magic.
And if she took even a step forward, she'd get a sword through her in seconds.
Killian grunted as a second thug grabbed him on his other side, ripping Killian's sword from his sheath.
Panic rose even sharper in Emma's chest.
Killian swallowed, eyes locked onto her. “Go—home,” Killian managed, his eyes pleading and broken, with something in them that looked like goodbye, only making Emma’s eyes burn.
“Hook—!” breathed Emma, running for him, but froze when three swords pointed in her direction, so close to her it made her stumble back, falling to the ground.
And by the time she made it back to her feet, they were gone.
-.-.-.
Dark had fallen.
The air had chilled.
But none of it gave her the cold dread inside her chest.
She’d searched for hours.
But those men obviously knew this forest better than she did, and it was easy to get lost in it.
Too easy.
She let them take him.
Emma kicked herself.
She should have done something.
She should have done something.
She should have been spending all the time back in Storybrooke learning magic instead of shoving it away.
Because now Killian was gone, and it was all her fault.
She got them stuck in the past.
She was the reason Killian stopped trying to free himself from those bastards.
She was the reason that they may never see each other again.
Emma couldn’t stop seeing his eyes.
The resignation.
The defeat.
The horrible, utter sadness.
She was now alone, and she’d never felt this alone in her entire life.
It was one thing to grow up being alone.
And it was another thing entirely to find people, to fall for people, and to have them ripped from you.
It was an entirely different thing to know what it felt like to not be alone.
And ever since meeting Killian, more or less after he decided to become a part of something , he’d been practically glued to her side. He’d voluntarily gone back to the land he hated more than anywhere, he’d given up his revenge, he’d found her in freaking New York City —an endeavor Emma still didn’t know how he managed to do—and how he managed to find her in a world he knew hardly anything about?
Emma stopped on the path, feeling the chill of the air.
Even the air felt different in the Enchanted Forest. It felt… unearthly, which, wasn’t exactly off point. The magic in the land seemed to crackle like a charged atmosphere. The animal sounds, the nightly coos and caws were different, and all this different was unsettling and…
She really, really didn’t want to admit she was scared.
But Emma didn’t have Mary Margaret with her this time. She didn’t have a princess squad to help her through. And, she didn’t have Hook.
Killian, who was god knew where.
He might even already be—
No , said a firm voice in her head, trying to quell the hair that raised on the back of her neck at the thought. They wouldn’t have kidnapped him if they were going to be quick about it.
The idea of him suffering at all…
Emma swallowed, hard, trying to shove down the rush of panic that shook her fingers.
How the hell was she supposed to find him?
She was a complete outsider.
She not only wasn’t from this town, she wasn’t from this world , and she wasn’t from this time, not by a long shot.
She was trapped thirty years in the past, and Killian could be anywhere.
“Go home.”
Emma shut her eyes at Killian’s echo.
Go home.
He wanted her to go home.
He wanted her to leave him here, conjure the portal, and go home.
The very fact that he thought she would made her chest hurt, because how could he think she’d leave him here?
But…
“You really thought I’d let you drown?”
“Given our history, can you blame me for being uncertain? ”
Here she was thinking how he could possibly think she didn’t care about him, when…
“Do you even care about them? Or anyone in this town?”
He said anyone.
He meant me.
And replaying it all, how could she think he’d know she did?
All she’s done since he saved her in New York, was walk away from him.
But she did care.
She more than cared.
And now, she may never —
No.
Emma opened her eyes, ignoring the burn in them.
Determination set into her face, Emma made up her mind without hesitation.
There was no way she was leaving here without Killian.
The thought of returning to life without him, living without him…
It felt wrong.
Something about him in her life just made sense. Even now, she felt like something was missing, and suddenly she was wondering how she ever considered leaving her family, leaving him, to go back to New York.
“Go home.”
She couldn’t go home when he already became her home.
But…
How on earth—or, how in the Enchanted Forest—was she supposed to find him?
And before they did something terrible and irreversible to him?
“He stole from us last night. Now he’s gon' pay.”
Emma blinked.
Killian didn’t steal anything from anyone; she knew he hadn’t. He’d been too concerned with messing up the time continuum.
He hadn’t stolen.
But Emma had a pretty good feeling who had.
And Killian was currently paying for his crime.
Emma smiled grimly, a plan unfolding in her head.
She started walking, faster this time.
She just hoped the Jolly Roger was still in port.
-.-.-.
Emma clung to the shadows when she entered the town.
Thanks to Rumplestiltskin returning her clothes, she was no longer wearing the ragged dress and cloak that they had stolen, and was back in her jeans and leather jacket. Something that, Killian’s voice reminded her, hasn’t come into vogue, ever. So… she had to be careful. They just fixed the timeline; they cannot ruin it all over again.
But Killian was worth that risk.
As she clung to the dark areas of town, Emma was reminded of a younger her, living on the streets, dodging shadowy corners to pitch black alleyways. It was evening, the sky blackening with an array of stars, but the town still bustled with life, mostly around the taverns.
Emma passed the tavern she and Killian had found his past-self in, and Emma risked a look inside, but he wasn’t there.
Her heart quickening, Emma suddenly worried he wasn’t even in town.
She picked up her pace, following the path past-Hook had led her down when he’d been her inebriated guide.
Emma emerged from the cover of an alley, looking up to see the sea, and ships of all sizes moored at the docks. And among them—
Emma felt relief flood her.
The Jolly Roger.
She smiled despite herself, picking up her pace. As she got closer, she could see the crew retracting the anchor—
They were leaving.
Her heart pounding, Emma began to sprint.
With grunts of heaving, two members of the Jolly’s crew were lifting the gangplank.
It was halfway up when Emma got to it, flinging herself off the dock and onto it, barely making the jump. She slid down the wood, landing in a heap on the deck.
“What in the blazes—?!”
The two men nearly dropped the gangplank, but managed to finish shutting it, faster, as if worrying that someone else was going to attempt Emma’s jump.
Her entire body throbbing from the mistreatment, Emma slowly picked herself up from the deck. She quickly noticed at least a dozen pirates were staring at her in shock.
But a voice broke through the din, and Emma would recognize it anywhere.
“Well, you don’t bloody see something like that every day.”
-.-.-.
Despite her protests, Emma had been manhandled by two of the crew members and dragged into the Captain’s Quarters a moment after she’d seen him. He’d witnessed her reckless jump onto his ship, but hadn’t said a word to her yet.
She was currently in the chair opposite his desk, two burly hands on her shoulders keeping her pinned down, and Hook was in his chair behind the desk, staring at her in silence.
“What are you doing aboard my ship?” he said finally.
Emma flicked her eyes to the pirate holding her down, then back to Hook. “I’ll tell you, but only you.”
Hook sighed, then flicked his eyes to the man behind her, giving a minute nod and a slight roll of his eyes. Then, when the door clicked shut, he gave her a pointed look.
Emma let out a breath, her heart beating in a frenzy. This Hook was not half as drunk as he was when they last met. His gaze on her was cold and measured and there was no trace of the softness Killian had now. It unnerved her, this air of danger he held, sitting before her. Waiting.
But Emma swallowed, trying to remember, this is still Killian. Just… buried under two hundred years of pain and resentment.
It didn’t make her feel better.
“I need your help.” said Emma at last, holding his gaze.
His brow lifted, like that was the last thing he’d expected her to say. “My help?” he echoed, lips twisting a little in amusement. “I’m a pirate captain, lass. You’ve mistaken me for someone who gives. Pirates take.”
Emma resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the irony that all he’s done the past two years was give.
Worry fluttered in her stomach, suddenly wondering if her Killian was all right.
And when did he start being ‘her’ Killian?
Emma let out another breath. “Yeah, that’s actually what brings me here. All I need to know,” said Emma slowly, “is who you stole from last night.”
She’d thought it through; if she could just get the name or the place of the person who he’d stolen from, she could go find Killian without Hook ever needing to know she was from the future.
Hook paused.
Suspicion suddenly gleamed in his eyes.
He stood, and rounded his desk until he was standing before her.
The suspicion only deepened in his eyes.
Emma could feel the danger radiate off him like a cologne.
She was trying not to shrink under his intense gaze when he leaned even closer, his face inches from hers. He searched her eyes.
“You,” he whispered. “I remember you.”
Emma’s heart skipped. “You do?” she breathed.
She should have known it was irrational to think he meant he remembered knowing her.
Because his eyes narrowed, coldness in the blue. “You owe me a nightcap, love.”
Emma froze. “Oh,” she said, biting her lip. “Didn’t blame the rum, huh?”
He leaned back slightly, but looked no less predatory. “I’m guessing this is from you as well,” he said, brushing the metal of his hook to his cheek where Killian had hit him.
Emma winced. “Not exactly—“
He was suddenly in her face again, eyes narrowed, colder than ice. “You were trying to get me drunk. To get on my ship,” he muttered. “Why?”
Oops.
Emma tried to think fast.
She did not like a version of Killian that scared her, and this one did exactly that.
As if to prove the point, he raised his hook, tracing her jaw until the tip was underneath her chin, forcing her head up. Emma gasped reflexively, suddenly realizing how bad of an idea this had been. “Tell me,” he hissed, “or this will be rather unpleasant.”
Emma swallowed, trying to stem the rush of fear. To hell with the timeline. “I’m from the future.”
His brow rose sharply, surprise and a little confusion slipping into that cold expression. Clearly time travel was not one of the things he’d expected her to say.
It was the second time she’d surprised him, and Emma knew he wasn’t an easily surprised man.
Before he could interrupt, she went on, wincing as the sharp tip of his hook stung. “I’m telling you the truth,” she said quickly, fear sending a shiver down her spine. “I’m from… about thirty years in the future. I think. It’s really hard to keep track with all the curses," she finished, which even to her ears sounded like she was crazy.
“Time travel is unheard of.” said Hook, dismissing her whole story.
"You spend two hundred years on an island where time doesn't even exist and this is too crazy for you to imagine?" snapped Emma exasperatedly.
He ignored her. “Now, what are you really doing on my ship? Clearly if you’d gotten what you wanted, you wouldn’t have been daft enough to return.” His eyes looked her up and down, his brow lifting when his eyes reached hers, and Emma glared at him. “And if I had gotten what I wanted, that night would not have ended with you injuring me.” A cold smile. “Well, not in the traditional way, anyway.”
Emma huffed out a breath, almost forgetting just how innuendo-clad he once was. “Look, I’m telling the truth . I need your help to—“ She gasped, the tip of his hook digging slightly deeper.
“You will tell me what I want to know,” said Hook quietly. He removed his namesake, and Emma winced. “I’ll give you the night to think it over. Lie to me again," his voice lowering, dipping into the personification of danger as his gaze bored into hers, and she tried not to shrink under it, "you’ll be walking the plank in the morning.” He moved away from her, and Emma realized she'd forgotten how to breathe.
“Hook—“ began Emma, but Hook simply barked, “Jenkins!”
The door opened, and one of the men who had dragged her down here walked inside.
“Take her to the brig.”
Emma’s heart pounded. “No— Hook,” she said quickly as he sat nonchalantly back at his desk. “I need—“
Emma was grabbed from behind and forced out.
He didn’t look up as they took her.
But when he thought she was out of sight, she saw him briefly touch his fingers to his lips, something unreadable stirring in his eyes.
-.-.-.-.
Emma waited until she was left alone, and the ship had quieted down enough to suggest the crew was asleep.
They’d bound her hands in front of her, which was their first mistake.
Feeling a sense of deja vu, Emma felt along the ground until she found something useful. Finding something sharp and thin enough to work, she quickly got to work on the lock to the cage.
The trouble was opening the door without it creaking, which took her plenty of precious minutes.
Once free, she left the brig, and quietly made her way to the armory.
It was good that she was familiar with the ship after Neverland. Plenty of hours on the water had her nervous energy getting the better of herself and she’d done some extensive exploring. She’d paced the ship enough to know where its creaky boards were, so she was inside the armory in silence quickly.
Emma grabbed the first blade she could find—a knife—and freed her hands, then took the gag from her mouth.
Gripping the knife in her shaking hands, Emma left the armory, walking down the hallway to the door at the very end.
The Captain’s Quarters.
Feeling plenty of uncertainty, but needing to know where Killian was, Emma slowly reached for the door handle, glad the ridiculously loud chorus of snoring from the crew covered much of the noise she made.
Slowly and without breathing, she opened his door.
Emma shut it just as quietly, and the noise of the snoring was muted.
Emma turned.
The cabin was dark.
And there, lying on his bed, was Hook. Asleep.
She could see him breathe beneath the blanket.
Carefully, and avoiding every creak in the floor she knew of, Emma crept up to his bed.
Then, she held the knife an inch from his throat, opening her mouth to wake him.
“Do I need to explain what a nightcap is to you?”
Emma jumped a mile in her skin.
Hook’s eyes were open, and he looked from the knife at his throat to Emma. A raised brow, he deadpanned, “You escaped.”
“You underestimated me.” she countered. He lifted his brow as Emma continued firmly, “I need you to help me.”
“Help me?” he echoed. His eyes flicked from the knife to her eyes. “You’re taking your life in your hands threatening me, lass.” he said dangerously.
“I’m trying to save your life!” snapped Emma.
His brow hitched higher, again flicking his eyes pointedly to the blade, then back at her.
Emma sighed, removing the knife from his throat.
He still didn’t move, eyeing her still suspiciously. “How is it you think you’re saving me?” he asked.
Emma sighed shortly. “Look. I told you I was from the future. I am. I’m from your future. And I didn’t get sent to the past alone.” She took a breath, hoping telling him wouldn’t implode the timeline. But she was scared, she was alone, and without his information, she would never be able to find Killian. She could only hope that after she saved Killian, he’d still exist when they returned to their time.
Emma sighed. “When I got sent here, you came with me.” she said finally.
Confusion kneaded his brows with honest puzzlement, and for the first time he looked almost like her Killian. “I… what?” he managed.
Emma sighed shortly. “You— future you,” clarified Emma. “You’re here, in the past, too.”
Hook looked lost in thought for a second. Then— “That was bloody real?”
“What was?” asked Emma.
He sat up, regarding her with both suspicion and shock. “The dream I thought I had of you, up until you foolishly returned.” Emma glared at him flatly as he went on, “I saw…”
“Yourself,” finished Emma impatiently. “Yeah. You punched yourself.” At his very perplexed expression, she went on, “I told him—you—it was a bad idea. So, blame yourself.” He blinked in utter confusion. But, at least, he seemed to believe her story. “Look,” said Emma, “we were on our way back to the future when some huge guys kidnapped him because they said he stole something and he needed to ‘pay for it’.” she finished in a bad facsimile of Killian’s abductor’s voice. Her eyes burning into Hook’s, she said, “What did you steal? Who are they and where did they take him?”
“You’re telling me,” said Hook slowly, “that there is a future version of me out here?”
“Yes,” said Emma through gritted teeth. “Now what did you—“
“Tell me, love,” said Hook casually enough, though the coldness in his words was back. “What is my future?”
“I can’t tell you that,” she said exasperatedly. “Already I need to get you a Forgetting Potion to make sure you get to that future.”
He stared at her for a long moment, a million things happening behind guarded eyes. But finally, his brow lifted a fraction. “And I’m just supposed to believe this?"
Emma groaned. “What proof do you want?” she said impatiently. “Your father abandoned you and Liam; you used to be in the Royal Navy; you became a pirate after what happened to Liam in Neverland; you’re currently on a suicidal mission to kill Rumplestiltskin for taking your hand and Mila—“
“Stop!”
Emma froze, having been angrily ticking off the trivia on her fingers, to see Hook’s eyes with more emotion than she’s seen from this version of him yet.
“How do you know all that?” he breathed. For once, his voice lost Hook’s edge, and he sounded like Killian. The danger evaporated from him in seconds, replaced with something almost... lost. “It’s—it's been centuries since—"
“You told me.” said Emma simply.
“I… told you,” repeated Hook flatly, words rolling off his tongue like something foreign. The edge in his voice swiftly returned as he demanded angrily, “And why the bloody hell would I do that?”
“How should I know?” snapped Emma, her anxiety getting to her and sharpening her own tone.
He rose to his feet, and Emma did not like the feeling that he was attempting to use his height over hers to intimidate her. He leveled a look at her, with something different in his eyes, something dangerous in a new way. “Tell me one thing, lass," he began, voice casual-sounding, but underlined with something that sent a shiver down her spine, "and maybe I help you.”
“Why wouldn’t you help me?” exclaimed Emma, standing her ground. “You’d be helping you!”
“That remains to be seen.” He stepped toward her, and damn it he didn’t even need the hook to be imposing. “Tell me, lass.” Another step, and Emma felt her back hit the wall, not even realizing she’d been retreating. His gaze bored into hers. “Do I get my revenge?”
Emma swallowed, suddenly feeling a familiar sense of dread as to when the past version of Rumplestiltskin had asked about whether or not he found Neal.
When the silence spread a little too long, she whispered, “Hook—”
“Do I, or not?” he demanded, voice clipped. Cold.
Dangerous.
Emma felt paralyzed.
The Hook—the Killian —standing before her was completely hellbent on getting his revenge. He’s been at it for centuries, and the anger and pain in his eyes overpowered the blue in them, so much so it was hard to remember that Killian and Hook were the same person.
And here, Hook was his vengeance right now.
There was hardly a spark of him.
If she told him the truth, that he not only doesn’t kill his crocodile, but chooses to live peacefully in the same town as the monster? Gives up not only his quest for vengeance, but turns into a hero?
And worse yet, that he lets go of Milah?
For her?
From the amount of anger she’s eliciting from him right now, she doubted he’d be happy to know that information in particular.
So, she decided to tell him the truth.
Or…
Part of it.
“No,” she said finally, watching his brow shift dangerously. “Not yet.”
He searched her eyes, his face like stone. “Not yet?” he repeated, voice low, almost threatening.
Emma swallowed the fear slipping down her spine, hoping she was still as good of a liar as she once was. “Not yet,” she confirmed, which, still, wasn’t a complete lie. She took a breath, holding his gaze, preparing herself.
And she lied.
“I’m helping you get your revenge in the future,” she said smoothly. “The Dark One is currently living in a realm without magic. He’s vulnerable. I’m helping you get there.” She swallowed, her entire body rigid. Hook was pin-silent as Emma finished, “We accidentally got sent to the past on our way there. That’s why I need you to help me. If you don’t, you will never get your revenge.”
Emma fell quiet, holding her head high, clinging onto confidence she didn’t feel in the slightest.
Killian could read her like an open book.
If this version of him was as perceptive as he comes to be…
If he found her lying to him…
Again …
Emma tried to ignore the fear prickling in her veins.
He held her gaze, pinning her to the spot with his eyes alone. Watching her eyes carefully, his narrowed.
Finally, he said, “Why are you helping me?”
Emma tried not to flinch at the obvious distaste in his voice. She thought fast, and found something that held nothing but truth. “Because,” she said, “you did me a favor. I’m repaying a debt.”
His brow lifted. “Quite the debt.”
Emma felt something stir in her chest, thinking of all that Killian has done for her. “It was quite the favor,” she said quietly.
His brows kneaded with question, like he wasn’t sure why he would bother to do her a favor.
Emma was quickly becoming irritated with this version of Hook.
“How are you helping me?” he asked then, gaze boring into hers, almost as if he was trying to poke holes into her story to see if it would leak. “Why do I need you?”
It was spoken so carelessly.
And it hurt.
Emma was surprised at the sudden burn behind her eyes.
She’d brushed off Killian’s affections, his obvious devotion to her, more times than she could count.
And here he was, looking at her like he couldn’t have cared about her less.
How could she have wasted all the time she had with him?
Getting him back now was the longest of long shots, for—and it made sharp fear race down her spine— he could already be dead.
Blinking away the emotion, Emma huffed out a breath, trying not to appear as hurt by his words as she was. “I’ve got Light Magic,” she snapped, making surprise lift his brow. “You’re trying to kill the Dark One. Do the math.”
He stared at her for a long moment, eyes narrowed, danger rolling off him in waves.
Finally, he spoke.
“I help you, and, him,” he muttered, uneasily over what to call his future self, “get back to your time,” he said slowly, “and then I will get what I want most?”
Emma felt the ghost of a smile touch her lips, for she didn’t have to lie for this one. “Yes.”
He most definitely will.
-.-.-.-. TBC
@belovedcreation-kitr-headcanon @cssecretsanta2020 @belovedcreation
#csss2024#captain swan#secret santa#emma swan#killian jones#captain hook#emma and hook#cs#cs ff#cs fic#fanfic#fanfiction#once upon a time#ouat
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Someone who cared
Eva tsunaka x gn reader
[Spoilers for p:e.g. chapter 1]
A/n:and here is the Eva fic. I hope you enjoyed cause I really loved writing it. It's the happy ending my girl deserves
You were always Eva's anchor.
Your love for her was what grounded her to reality, what allowed her to keep going on in sleepless nights spent studying, through math competition she didn't even care about and in moments where she only wanted to cry in the shower because of situations she wasn't strong enough to handle, she reminded herself that there was someone who loved her because of who she was and not what everyone else thought she was. That there was a person she could always rely on and trust no matter what happened. You made her smile, a genuine pure smile, ever since your first meeting.
When at 5 years old she looked up from her book to see a person holding an ice cream cone to her
"What?"
"It's ice cream! Oh, it's cookies and cream, if you don't like it I can go change it"
".....do we know each other?"
"No but you just looked like you needed ice cream, standing alone reading isn't that fun"
"............"
"Quick! It's gonna melt!"
"O-oh"
She closed the book and grabbed the cone, giving it a lick before looking at you sitting near her on the bench
"Is it good?"
She just nodded and you smiled at her, a smile that made her feel all weird inside
"Oh! I forgot, mom only gave me 5 dollars to buy ice cream"
You pulled out some coins from your pocket and started counting
"One, two,three fo-"
"It's enough"
"Huh?"
"The ice cream cost 2 dollars,you brought two so it's 4"
"Oh you're fast at numbers"
"It's just math, 2 x 2 is 4 simple multiplication"
".....m-multi-what?"
Your confusion made a small smile appear on her face
"Just go to pay before it melts"
"Yeah ok, by the way, what's your name?"
"Eva, Eva tsunaka"
"Oh that's such a cool name"
"Really?"
"Yeah, I'm y/n l/n, nice to meet you evie"
"E-evie?"
"It's a nickname, a name friends call you, do you like it?"
".....so we're friends?"
"Yep,....... oh I guess I should ask you, do you wanna be friends?"
In that moment her soul itself answered and she made the second best decision she ever made in her life
"Yeah, I'd like that"
From that moment on you entered her life and changed it for the better.
It turned out you were going to attend the same elementary school, and since you were already friends, you basically always hung out. Well, it was more like you continued to be near her until she let you read with her at recess, but she wouldn't have it any other way, because whenever you were sick she could feel the difference between reading with someone and just standing under a tree while everyone else played in the grass.
".......how do you say that?"
"What?"
"This word"
You pointed at her book
"Oh its-"
"AHHHHHH!"
Your scream alerted her and she turned to towards you to see you crouching and hugging your legs while pointing at a caterpillar
"I-it's a monster"
"It's just an insect"
"B-but aren't they poisony?"
"It's poisonous and no"
Just as she was about to keep reading, she felt something grip her. Her whole face turned red as you hugged her for protection while muttering something about the monster getting closer. The weird feeling came back. It was somewhere above her tummy, and when she talked about it with her parents as they were putting her to bed, they just laughed between each other and muttered something about her first crush. Of course, at the ripe age of 7, she couldn't understand what that was.
It was some time during middle school that she began understanding her true feelings.
"You take everything that doesn't have an x in it and move it to the right. You also need to change their signs, got it?"
"..........w-what?"
"The positive become negative and the opposite"
You tried to write something before fully giving up and putting your hands over your head
"I don't get it, when did letters make their way in math?"
Your study buddy sighed and took a pen, trying to guide you step by step through the homework
"Can we take a break?"
"Not until you figure it out"
"Please, pretty please with a cherry covered in chocolate on top?"
"No"
"Come on please, we can play super slam sisters"
"Hm?"
You grab a controller and look at her with that smile, that smile that made the feeling come back to her, the feeling that she always had when she was near you, just looking at your smile made it impossible to say no
"Ugh, I guess a couple of rounds can't hurt"
"Yay you're the best evie"
You hugged her, and she felt her face flush red again
"Are you OK? You're so red"
"I-i'm fine let's just play"
"I'm gonna destroy you this time"
"We'll see about that"
You paused the game after the fifth time you lost
"So who was gonna destroy me?"
".......ok ok i admit it...you're really good at this"
Your compliment made her heart beat again, but she put the controller down and turned towards you
"Let's continue studying"
You sighed but nodded and sat in front of the desk again
"OK now do you get it?"
"....i-i think so"
You started writing the solution and Eva looked at it before her face turned into one of surprise
"That's correct good job"
"Yay! Now can we take another break, as a reward?"
"We just had one"
".....alright"
You picked up the pen again but this time started looking at the wall deep in thought
"......thank you"
"For what?"
"A lot of things to be honest, but what I'm talking about now is....helping me"
"With math?"
"Yeah among other things"
"It's nothi-"
"No it is something"
You turned to look at her, your eyes locking with her blue ones
"My parents............they can't afford a tutor, so I decided to ask you, I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm taking advantage of you, but I just really wanna be with you"
"What do you mean?"
"The high school I wanna go to, it's the same as yours"
"Huh?"
"But if I don't have good grades they won't let me in, and......math is a subject I'm not good at"
You looked silently at her before suddenly holding her hands
"I want to stay with you, you're amazing evie, you're so smart and pretty and awesome, I want you to be in my life. So I promise I'll try my best to get good grades, to be with you"
You still have no idea why you said that, and more importantly you still have no idea how your 14 year old mind still didn't understand that maybe you felt something more than friendship for the back and white haired girl. But if you could go back, you'd say the exact same thing, not only because that's exactly how you felt but also because of what happened during high school.
Eva couldn't handle it anymore, the feeling in her chest she learned to call love was growing more and more with every day you spent together, with every time she had to remind you to pay attention in class and with every afternoon spent studying and playing slam sisters. She felt like her heart could explode if she didn't do something soon.She needed to do something about it.
But what could she do? Confessing would be very risky, if you didn't feel the same, it would have genuinely destroyed her, not only because you wouldn't be dating but mostly because she knew that no matter how much you tried to fix things and play it off as if nothing happened, your friendship would have never been the same, it would have all felt so awkward and uncomfortable and it would have probably been better to just end your friendship before it became even worse.
She could not handle that. You were her best friend. Her............only friend.
But she also knew better than anyone that if she didn't confess, someone else probably would and seeing you hanging out and kissing someone else while knowing that if she had just been braver that could have been her, would have destroyed her even more.
So she decided to act on valentine's day of your second year of high school.
"So what's with the chocolates?"
Your sudden question makes Eva spit her water
"W-what are you talking about?"
You pulled out the chocolate box with the letter inside
"Only you would do something like this"
You showed her the note which simply said "128√e980"
You unfolded the letter showing that the equation spelled "I love you"
"The chocolate are also my favorite flavors, but the note is the obvious part"
".........I know it's stupid but-"
"It's not stupid, it's pretty cool actually, even if it did take me a while to understand eheh"
Eva looked away embarrassed but quickly grew even more flustered when you held her hands
"But I want you to tell me that you love me"
"I-i just did-"
"No, I want Eva tsunaka to tell me that she loves me, not the mathlete that everyone thinks you are, tell me with your own words, the ones from the bottom of your heart, not numbers. then I can accept"
Eva started sweating, for what reason she doesn't know, maybe her cheeks got so hot that they actually started burning, but she calmed herself and took a deep breath before speaking
"Y-you make my heart beat, I feel all weird when I'm with you, I just want to smile and hug you for no reason, ever since we were kids, I now know what that is, I love you, I can 100% say I love you"
You smiled brightly, and she couldn't help but smile too. You always had this effect on her. She just couldn't help but feel happy with you.
"I love you too, evie, you're the best girl I ever met, and I wanna be with you forever"
You suddenly kissed her, it was a very soft and short kiss, but it still succeeded in making her blush even more than anything that happened before, but still she wanted to feel like this more so she kissed back. And with that she officially became your girlfriend.
She can confidently say that confessing to you was the best decision she ever made. Simply because the years where you two were together were the best of her life.
It was the small things you did for her, those things that made her feel seen and special, something like buying her something for breakfast when she didn't have to eat because she was busy studying, or just listening to her rant about a new ARG she helped solve on the internet.
Even the more embarrassing things like showing up to one of her math competition with a whole banner with a bad but admittedly really cute drawing of her face and her name written with a heart while yelling:
"YEAHHHH! THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND EVERYONE! SHE'S SUPER SMART, DESTROY EVERYONE ELSE EVIE!!!"
Sure, it made her want to die in the moment, but she would definitely be lying if she said it didn't warm her heart knowing that you cared so much about her and about her winning a competition even she didn't really care about
Just like your reaction to her getting her ultimate warmed her heart.
She hated being the ultimate mathlete. The utp just gave her this title without regard to who she really was and who she wanted to be, and she ranted to you about exactly that while cuddling. You just wrapped your arms around her and started comforting her
"Listen, I don't care what others say about you, or what they expect of you, to me you're Eva tsunaka, the amazing girl that i feel in love with, I couldn't care less about your ultimate,that doesn't define you to me and it shouldn't to anyone else. I love you because you're you ok evie?"
She felt her heart beating even faster than when you kissed her. Your words made her feel understood and so, so loved. She really needed someone like you
While she hated her talent, she couldn't deny that the fact that she was glad to have it if only because the utp gave you one too, and you would be attending eden's garden academy together.
"Are you OK evie? You look nervous"
She took a deep breath and sat on the bench in the train station
"......yeah, I guess I'm just worried about what people are gonna think about me"
"You mean your talent?"
She nodded as you sat on her right and held her hand
"If people pick on you because you're good at math, then that just means they're stupid and can't handle that someone is prettier and smarter than them"
"Hehe......thanks, but that's now what I meant"
"I know......then just get to know them"
"Huh?"
"If you get to know more people than they'll know the real you, the amazing girl you really are"
"............"
"Eva listen, I'm saying this as your partner and with nothing but your best interests in mind. I think you need more friends"
".....d-don't-"
"Or at least people to talk to, I know you have me, but I'm scared that I'm not enough, I want you to be happy, ok? So please, at least try, I don't care if you fail, but at least try to let people know that you're not just a mathlete, but a genuinely wonderful person"
Eva sighed and you kissed her cheek for comfort
"........I'll try my best"
"That's what I like to hear. Now get up and grab your luggage the train is almost here"
After the train arrived, you walked in it hand in hand, seeing all the faces of your future classmates. Little did you know that that train was gonna be the boat that would bring you to hell.
You knew Eva was lying about her talent. You knew from the moment the words ultimate liar slipped from her mouth, and you also knew exactly the reason why, she had told you why not that long ago after all. And you respected her choice. You didn't even need to talk to each other to make an agreement, with only a single glance she knew you would protect her secret as long as necessary.
The announcement of the killing game and the mock trial felt like a blur, you helped investigate, mostly convinced by your girlfriend, but you still couldn't believe it, sure the body was just a puppet but it was the recreation of a real murder, someone was killed so brutally, it made you.....sick.
And when the killing game was officially started that sickness spread over your entire body, will someone of your classmates be killed in such a brutal way? Will you? ......will Eva?
When Wolfgang started to speak, you wanted to say something. Sure, it was nice to think that no one was going to murder each other, but you knew it was impossible. You only started to talk when everyone singled out Eva and Damon for speaking their mind. You defended them, obviously. You told them that Eva was right, and even if it was a harsh truth, it still was the truth. After being judged because of that you just hugged Eva and you two went to sleep in her dorm.
The day the infirmary was revealed, Eva's true ultimate was too. You couldn't do anything but the exact same thing you had been doing this entire time, comfort Eva and try to counter your classmates' comments directed at her. You hugged her again, and you could feel how heavy and tired she was, even if she didn't want to let you know, everything that happened was weighing heavily in her mind.
"C-can you come with me?"
"Huh?"
You opened your eyes and looked down at Eva. She was still hugging you, but her eyes were now locked on yours
"Sure"
She guided you to a point in the infirmary and pointed at something
"A......plushie advertisement?"
"Yes, I already showed it to damon"
"......d-do you want me to buy it?"
"H-huh?"
"I thought you already had a plush-"
She blushed and quickly shut you up
"N-no it's not the plushie, it's a code"
"Oh for the door?"
"Duh"
"Did you figure it out yet?"
"...........no"
For the second time in the game, she lied
"Oh, I see, it's alright if you don't, these kidnappers seem really smart"
"........yeah"
"Well, me and Diana wanted to eat together. Do you wanna join us?"
"No it's fine, I'll go take a nap"
"That's understandable after everything that happened, love you"
"Yeah"
You kissed her cheek and started to go outside but stopped and looked back
"Hey Eva?"
"Hm"
"Can I.....tell you something?"
She nodded and you started approaching her
"..........I'm scared"
"Huh?"
"I'm scared that I'll die, that you'll die and that I couldn't do anything about it.....so can you at least promise me something?"
".......o-of course, what is it?"
You put your pinky in the air
"Let's make it a pinky promise"
"......seriously?" That's so dumb"
"Come on, just do it"
She sighed and intertwined her own pinky with yours
"Let's promise each other that we'll never kill someone"
"W-what?"
"I can't do anything if someone decides to kill you, I can only hope no one does, but if you kill someone, then you'll most likely die..........and if you don't-"
"Then you'll die, with everyone else"
"Yeah, so let's promise that we'll never kill anyone, so our chances of survival increase"
The next words she said were the third best choice she did in her life because, like her confession and acceptance of your friendship, her own soul spoke unfiltered by her brain or other emotions
"..........yes, I promise"
"Great! It's a pinky promise, remember. So if you break it your pinki will fall"
She giggled
"I think that will be the last of my concerns if I kill someone"
"Hehe, Yeah I guess you're right"
You kissed Eva on the cheek and went outside, waving at her. She waved back as her smile faded, she looked at her pinky.... and went to her dorm.
She couldn't handle it anymore, the thoughts were eating up her mind, she was going to die, everyone hated her, of course she was going to be the first victim, she would die.......so she needed to do something about it.
She wiped her tears with her sleeve and put her glasses back on, went to the infirmary and found herself face to face with the door.
She imputed the first two numbers automatically almost as if her body moved itself, she was about to imput the third when she actually started thinking
What did she want to gain by going in that room? She didn't even know what was on the other side..........was she just curious?
No, she knew. She knew that whatever she was gonna find would seal her fate, that it would force her to kill someone.......force
It's funny that she used that words in her thoughts, force, like she didn't already knew who to kill and how to do it, like she didn't already know who to frame and how to act in the class trial, like she didn't already look through the infirmary to see if there were hallucinogenics.
She inputted the third number and took a moment to breathe, her hand on her chest.
When she was about to move her finger in the direction of the last panel, she noticed something.
The floor was wet.
She looked down and saw that her shirt was too, not by much, it was when she brushed her hand against her cheek that she realized where the water was coming from.
She was crying.
How did she not realize it all this time? Why was she sad? She had already decided her fate, was she scared of getting found out and dying? she had nothing to live for anyway, everyone in this damn academy hated her, she was going to die anyway and no one was going to care about it, they weren't going to investigate how she died and the person who killed her would probably be cheered as they got executed. There was no one who cared about her, just like in her entire life.......no one cared about the true her.
Her finger grazed the fourth number when she remembered something
"Let's promise that we'll never kill someone"
"I love you because you're you ok evie?"
As soon as those words entered her mind, she just fell down on her knees, her body unable to hold the weight of her conscience anymore. She started crying, this time knowing exactly why.
She was going to betray you. She was willing to let you die just because of something that wasn't even true. You cared about her, the real her, you would have cried if she died, and you would have felt betrayed if she killed someone. You loved her, and she betrayed that love by even thinking about committing the murder. She didn't deserve you, she needed to say sorry to your face.
When she finished crying, she immediately went to your dorm, the knocking woke you up, and you were confused to see that Eva was no longer in bed with you. You were worried, considering that you decided to bunk together, so you carefully opened part of the door and saw it was your girlfriend, you saw that her eyes were red so your worry grew even more, you completely opened the door and Eva immediately tackled you in a hug.
"E-eva, what's-"
"I'm *sobs* so sorry, I'm so so sorry"
You could see she started crying crying, so you held her close and started comforting her, not caring about the tears getting on your shirt.
When she calmed down, she sat on the bed and started explaining everything to you, about how everything was getting to her and drove her to think about killing someone. She expected you to hate her. She was one step away from betraying you and throwing away her life, you were very justified to hate her, to break up with her, as much as she didn't want that to happen.....because then she would have been truly alone.
But you hugged her instead, and told her that it was OK, that the fact that she didn't go through was what mattered, that you would always be there for her, no matter what happened
"N-no you- you don't understand!"
She continued sobbing between words
"I-I was about to kill someone, to break our promise! I was ready to throw away your life because of this game!"
"......................"
"W-why did you forgive me so fast!? Why don't you hate me!?"
"........I could never hate you"
"H-huh?"
"I love you Eva I love you so much, I already told you so many times, I know that in a normal situation you'd never do something like this, I don't hate you, I hate tozu and this game, because I've seen the real you, and the real Eva is a girl that would never commit a murder, I feel in love with you and I could never hate you. I love you Eva, please remember that"
Eva wanted to say something more, but she just felt so tired. She had cried and felt too many emotions for a day, so she just thanked you and held onto your body as you two drifted to sleep.
The next day, she woke up feeling better. The night spent thinking about the situation and waking up next to you made her realize how lucky she was to have you and that she should hold on to you and love you just as much as you did.
After talking it over and getting ready, you two went to the dining room where Cassidy told you she had found a copy of super slam sisters and asked you to participate in a tournament.
"Oh, you love that game, eva . Do you wanna participate together?"
"I.........."
She looked at you smiling so brightly at her........and smiled back
"Yeah, I think having fun is what I need"
"Great! So we have all the couples, get ready cause it will be a blast!"
When the game tournament started, you held Eva's hand as you two watched the other students play.
"OK now it's Eva's and y/n's turn"
"Get ready evie, because this time I'll win!"
She rolled her eyes as she took the controller
"You always say that"
She ended up winning very easily but offered you a kiss as a consolation prince
"Wow that was insane Eva, how did you do that?"
"Oh, it's not that hard. You just have to watch your opponent and move accordingly"
"You gotta teach me that, you might even be able to beat me! Let's train together sometimes, Please?"
"H-huh?"
"And then we could do your make-up, I wanted to hang out with you......i-if you'd like"
"I.....don't think I'd look good with make-up"
She felt you putting your arm on her shoulder
"I think you'd look amazing in any way"
You smiled again and she felt her heart getting warm, not just at you but at the situation in general, she felt seen and understood, and it was all thanks to you, she's so glad she remembered you yesterday.
She looked back at her pinky and then at you, suddenly you felt Eva's arms wrap around you to the surprise of everyone in the room. She simply murmured two words
"Thank you"
You knew exactly why she thanked you, so you just hugged her back until she pulled away and looked at you again.
You cared about her, the real her, you loved her despite everything and she could never imagine a world without you, she could never imagine what she would have done if you weren't there, if you didn't enter her life.
She was so, so glad to have you.
#project eden's garden x reader#project eden's garden#p:eg x reader#p:eg#eva p:eg#p:eg spoilers#p:eg eva#p:eg chapter 1#project eden's garden chapter 1#p:eg eva x reader#eva tsunaka#eva tsunaka x reader#x reader#gn reader#fanganronpa x reader#fanganronpa
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can someone please do a hayden fic or c.ai bot of what life is like during lockdown/pandemic 2020 or any year with him and it’s also the holidays?
it’s not an “out of box” idea when i’ve seen a lot of hayden x reader / hayden x writer bots on here and c.ai
please? 🥺🙏🏼
MISTLETOE..
The beginning of the quarantine with HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN was kind of crazy. At first, it was filled with fear for the future, for how it'd all end, how it'd last. Then, as weeks went by, it turned to trying new things (in bed), buying different toys, lingeries, etc. But now? It was just..boring. So thanks to God it was Christmas time and the scenery outside the window like inside the house changed.
Hayden shuffled into the room, still in his sweats and that one hoodie you’d been trying to steal for days, holding two mugs of hot cocoa. His curls were tousled since the early morning, and you've tried to take care of them, but he always managed to slip away. Large hands were holding Christmas cups filled to the brim with hot cocoa and double serving of whipped cream
“Alright,” he plopped down next to you on the couch with a sigh “what Christmas movie are we pretending to watch tonight?” He handed you your mug, fingers brushing against yours - such a simple thing, yet still making your heart flutter.
And again - the pandemic had been hard on everyone, but somehow, these moments with Hayden were easier to survive. Days blurred into weeks, weeks into months, but you’d found peace in the slow pace of it all-- cooking meals together, building LEGO sets at midnight, and dancing around the kitchen to Michael Bublé while you baked yet another batch of cookies you didn’t need.
He had this way of making even the worst days feel like the best ones.
Like the time he let you help him on the farm and eventually name all the sheep he had. Or when it was your birthday but you run out of the decorations so he used the toilet paper where he carefully wrote "happy birthday!" and wore the ugliest Christmas sweater you’d ever seen - the question was, from where he had bought it? Because you definitely didn't give him that.
Or the time you tried to teach him how to wrap presents..
It didn’t go well.
“This is why I just buy gift bags,” he’d muttered, staring hopelessly at the mangled piece of wrapping paper in his palms. You’d fumbled over laughing, watching how his handsome face was scrunched in so much confusion and tiredness of the whole wrapping paper thing
So tonight was no different. As the movie you pretended to watch played, you found yourself using him as your own teddy bear - arms wrapped around his waist, legs tangled over his lap, face nuzzled to his chest, breathing in his too-good-smelling cologne that often was enough to turn you on. His arm draped lazily over your shoulders, and every so often, he’d press a kiss to the top of your head, murmuring something sweet like, long fingers brushing over your hair
“C’mere, let me show you how photogenic we are,” he teased, pulling you onto his lap. He kissed your cheek right as the camera clicked, capturing the purest moment of laughter and love.
Later, you’d find yourselves in the kitchen, baking cookies.. again - your freezer will be full with sugar before the end of the year. Flour streaked his cheek, and he smirked when you pointed it out. “What?” he teased “You don’t like the rugged look?”
“You look ridiculous,” you giggled, but the way he kissed you--slow, gentle, like he had all the time in the world--made you blush like never before
Quarantine with Hayden wasn’t perfect. But it was yours, and that made it enough.
TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @divineani @haydensprettyprincess @skyguys-princess @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @jediavengers @literally-izzy @anisluvrgirl @slutforfinnickodair @xhunnybeeex @fuckmyskywalker @gallerygourmet @deceptiive @anakinskwkler @bimbo-baggins17 @cookybananas @emotionallybruisedx @diorvalentina @sevinax @throughparisallthroughrome @aniiuv @ritosparty @ninastyless @lily-strnlo @thesassypadawan @awhhayden @sydkneez @anisangeldust @l1ttle-misssunsh1ne
#bunny's replies ૮꒰ ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ྀི꒱ა#dunno :((#hayden christensen#christensen hayden#hayden#hayden christensen x you#hayden christensen x reader#hayden christensen x female reader#hayden christensen fluff#hayden christensen baby#hayden christensen fic#hayden christensen fanfiction#hayden christensen characters#:haydennation
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••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Includes: SMUT!!, Sub!Sunoo, pegging, fingering (male receiving), boy wearing skirt, Y/N is a top, (first fic so please mind the wording) brat Sunoo, whiny Sunoo, female reader
Genre: Enemies to lovers
(Lemme know if I missed something!)
______________________________________________
Y/n and Sunoo had always hated each other, in Y/n's perspective Sunoo was a gossip guy, and a total brat. She saw how he side eyes people and how he rolls his eyes at HER. And he also ruined her chance to confess to her crush. Now she holds a grudge.
In Sunoo's perspective, Y/n was mean to him first. He just wanted to say 'Hi' and she was the rude one. She was the one who brushed his greeting and insulted him. Their meeting ended with both having bad first impressions of each other.
But for the past weeks going around, Sunoo started feeling.... For Y/n. And he decided to come clean to his friends.
"Guys, don't judge me please.. But you guys know Y/n right?" Sunoo said looking at all of his friends faces. Jake raised a brow. "You mean the one you complain about?"
"You mean the Y/n that you want to 'end'?" Heesung added. Sunoo stopped the others from talking with a raise of his arms. "Okay I know I hated her.."
"Hated!?" Sunghoon exclaimed, he threw his phone on the couch behind. "Go on please. I always knew fan fictions predicted this."
Sunoo rolled his eyes before saying. "Well these days, I started liking her... I think!"
Silence settled over the room before Jungwon laughed. "Oh! Oh I knew you started crossing paths with her more often! And you guys called me crazy!"
"You are."
Jungwon's head snapped towards Ni-ki who was eating his cheetos like he didn't insult his friend. "So what should I do? The girl obviously hates me."
Sunoo sighed, all his friends thought for a second before Jake said. "Well remember when the school had a party? What if we held one and invited Y/n and some other girl so no suspicion is raised. The place would be... At Heesung's house!"
"Oh hell no! My parents would end me!" Heesung protested. "Come on Hee, Just a one time thing. Don't you wanna help Sunoo?"
Heesung looked at Sunoo who was pouting (purposely) at him. Heesung sighed and nodded. "Thanks!!"
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
As planned, Jake went to Y/n and invited her. And after a bit of convincing, she agreed. Jake then went to some girls he and his friends had spoke to sometimes, and invited them.
The plan was going good. The girls plus Y/n arrived at Heesung's house, they spoke, talked and ate snacks that were prepared.
Then, Heesung proposed to play Truth or Dare. The and girls and boys got into a circle. When it was one of the girls's turn (Grace?), they dared Sunoo to wear a skirt.
Though this wasn't part of the plan, Sunoo agreed. He took the outfit bag from Grace and went upstairs. When he changed he looked in the mirror. It was humiliating. "Ugh, this skirt is short. What the.."
Sunoo saw something peeking out of the bag. He pulled it out and saw... Panties!?
No way in hell would he wear this!
He put it down and took a deep breath, trying to calm his, tomato-like face down. But then he looked at the panties.
Fuck it...
"Wow looking good!"
Is the first thing he heard when he came downstairs. All the girls were clapping and sayin how cute he looked. But when he looked at Y/n she wasn't looking at him and was just eating food.
Even though he expected it, he still wanted her to at least see him. But thinking about it again, that probably wasn't a good idea since she hated him, she probably would've laughed.
The game continued. "Heesung I dare you to... Drink some oil!"
"Huh!?"
Heesung looked horrified as his friends laughed. He went to the kitchen and took a large sip before going (bolting) back to the living room for water.
Soon it was Jake's turn, he looked at everyone before choosing Sunoo. "Truth or Dare."
"Uh..." Truth wasn't an option, since Jake would probably make him confess on the spot. "Dare...?"
"I dare you to... Sit on Y/n's lap till the end of the game."
Sunoo gasped loudly, Y/n looked up from the ground, she'd been zoning out. "Excuse me?" She asked, her brows furrowed.
Sunoo slowly scooted towards her before sitting right on the space, since she was sitting criss cross. He could hear Y/n scoff and move away from him.
(Like leaning her chest away)
Sunoo felt her move a bit and he held back a moan. Her foot accidentally touched his dick. The game continued, Sunoo went to grab some snacks that were in the middle of the circle. Though he momentarily forgot he had, not only a skirt, but panties on as well. So he basically flashed Y/n.
When he sat back down he looked at Y/n, she was smirking at him. Did she see?
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Layer when the game ended, Y/n went upstairs. Sunoo soon went up to go use the bathroom, that was until he got pulled into a room. "So... Wearing panties now, huh Kim?"
Sunoo turn to see (guess). Y/n. She was looking him up and down.
"W-well. It was apart of the dare so.."
Sunoo looked away. Y/n grabbed his chin and made him look at her. "But Grace said you didn't have to wear the underwear."
Sunoo let out an exhale. He so wanted to kiss her lips, but didn't want to freak her out. Maybe she was pulled him aside to tease him?
"Oh, I'm gonna have fun with you..."
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Sorry but... I need time to process this and make a quick part two. It will include smut.
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upcoming Carlos x chess content soon ❤️♟️✨
#carlos sainz#autumn posts#Santander Private Banking release the chess content posthaste please!!!!!!!!#I love chess and I love him so you can imagine my delight hehe ✨🙂↕️💫#it looks like he may win (at least this round shown) spoilers Santander smh teehee#anyways quick gifs again before work!!!#thinking of everyone especially fellow Daniel fans ❤️🩹 it's still too much to express right now for me#but sending everyone so much healing energy#❤️🌅❤️🩹 something good must be coming I know it#head very full after Daniel's post#but good things too!! he can get away from the mess of RBR#Max to anywhere else king? 👀 imagine?#realistically I never see Max leaving rbr tho...I also have many wild hopes for 2025 that cannot be wrung from my heart 🙂↕️#also in good news AHHH LEWIS AND THE MET GALA#many complicated feelings on the fashion industry ahh too much to yap about in the tags rn!!#but so so so happy for Lewis and this theme ❤️ cannot wait for the Met ahhhhhhhhh also going to insta dive for moments from this week#one more bananas work day 🙂↕️✨ also I changed my blog theme!! on the fence if I'll keep it but we shall see!!!! 💖#anyways sending everyone good energy from Texas 🌆✨ brb soon!!!!!!#also I maybe might post writing on the sideblog!! so many incredible artists are so inspiring!!!!#but oh the nerves of showing one of the particular charms on the sicko pandora bracelet of my soul 🙂↕️#maybe maybe maybe!! but there's a certain Max Carlos fic I'd love to read but haven't seen so#gotta be the change you want to see in the world ❤️🫡 hehe anyways I gotta hit the bricks (Microsoft Outlook my beloathed) bye for now!!!!!!
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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sonic and snufkin actually kind of feel like very similar characters to me. holding hands over “my personal sense of freedom and dedication to making decisions based on what I think is right is what matters most, and if you’ve built some idealized version of me in your head then that’s none of my business and it’s not my responsibility if the reality of who i am lets you down in some way”. also the deep connection to nature and all.
#N posts stuff#this is also a little why i am extremely picky about fanfic for these two#bc fic where like. snufkin finally settles down in the valley or lets moonin come along on his winter journey or whatever#they grate because it feels like you’re getting rid of a core of snufkin’s character for convenience.#‘he would not fucking do that’ style. i don’t like it.#like you do you it’s not a big deal it’s just personal opinion#the same for sonic. for him it’s less about being tied down in a literal sense and more to do with. conceptually#like sonic is a character very Unavailable emotionally and i dont think that’s something about himself he’s willing to change#i think that sonic is a very Internal person and his personal sense of freedom is such that like#he doesn’t Care what other people think about him. in sa2 he doesn’t seem to care that he’s been mistakenly labeled a villain bc that’s#none of his business. and in tbk he’s blunt about how he’ll happily become the ‘villain’ in other people’s eyes if he’s making the choice He#thinks is right. i don’t think his aversion to emotional sincerity or openness comes from some Hero Persona#i think he just doesn’t ever want to be put in a position where he has to navigate his friends emotions about his emotions#meaning like. being open about your problems opens you up to people who think they know better than you and want to force you to listen#to them ‘for your own good’ which i think sonic would resent on a lot of levels. so he’s unwilling to make himself vulnerable to that#but also even if someone isn’t Forcing you to listen you can still hurt people by ‘refusing’ to take care of yourself the way They think#is best. so their emotions become a coercive force intentionally or otherwise which sonic would also resent#and sonic doesn’t want to resent his friends. so he’s like ‘okay i just won’t put us in that position then’#i also think he doesn’t feel a need to Justify himself to anyone. so explaining his emotions or the Whys of who he is#feels like an attempt at justification that sonic would dislike and avoid on Principle even if he’s the only one seeing it that way#anyway ‘he would not fucking say that’ but it’s sonic having a genuine moment of emotional honesty#i do think that snufkin is more. Open to his own emotions though. and the expression of them#Comet ‘weeping over the sea’ moment my beloved. sonic Wouldn’t do that i think#i do think he closes himself off to his own emotions he doesn’t want to be tied down by Those either#which is why i also think that sonic as a character is informed by repressed/dissociative amnesia#like i Am projecting a little but i also think it makes sense for him. ‘who i used to be is none of my business i only care about#who i am Right Now’ which is another reason why he doesn’t like talking about his honest emotions#bc if he talks about them then He can’t forget them properly bc that moment is now in someone else’s head for them to remember and remind#him of. and he doesn’t want to do that so it’s for the best if he never admits to anything so he’s free to ignore and forget what he wants#In My Opinion. these tags got long i wonder if tumblr is going to delete a bunch lol
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The problem with BOTW is that it's obnoxiously popular in the LOZ fandom to the detriment of other games but also unfortunately it's genuinely really really fun to write fanfic for.
#it really hits that perfect fandom balance of good but not THAT good you know#its base is really interesting and you can do a lot with it. there's a lot of freedom to be had playing with its characters and concepts#contrast and compare to Link's Awakening which imo has a way better story and is my most beloved zelda game#but also like. what do i even have to add. how do i write fanfic for it when it has such a great bookend#like i don't even really want to do AUs or change the ending#the reason I like it are the Themes(TM) and changing the story too radically or changing the ending risks losing that#don't get me wrong i can and have written link's awakening fanfic. i am writing link's awakening fanfic right now#but it's a lot harder to come up with concepts bc it already does such a good job with all its stuff#on the other hand botw does not utilize its story potential much yet establishes enough it's fun to expand on#so with link's awakening i'm like ok. how do i put marin in Situations this time when the game's already the best Situation she could be in#and with botw i'm like 'so here's three different link and zelda role reversal AUs'#'this is the one where zelda is transmasc'#'this is the one where urbosa is fighting ganon link is dead and riju and zelda are on a roadtrip'#'and this is the one i'm planning a 40k hubris fic for'#being a fandom hipster is all fun and games until you like something popular#at least i still don't care much about link#my posts#loz#botw
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