#you are a man

[respectthepetty]

I'm not over it!

Ishida openly stating that he wanted to do something more than just hug Mitsuya, but he didn't want to take advantage of the situation has been replaying in my head all day.

Ishida admitted his family is affectionate, so the fact that he has held himself back from touching Mitsuya, from comforting Mitsuya, from holding Mitsuya for so long until the exact moment he no longer could has been replaying in my head all day.

And it's because Ishida asked Mitsuya if he saw him as an adorable boy or as a man because he needs Mitsuya to see him as a man, so Mitsuya's immediate defense is to reject Ishida by calling him a kid.

Then he brings up Ishida's dating history.

Mitsuya is saying this with a hint of sorrow, but all of this is actually very cruel!

He knows Ishida likes him. Ishida has made that clear. He knows Ishida likes him even in a very physical sense. Ishida just made that clear. So for Mitsuya to immediately tell Ishida he is a "good kid" who he implies is just going through a phase is hurtful, AND HE KEEPS GOING!

Mitsuya offers up solid reasons for them not to go further: society's views on their age difference. Yet Mitsuya does not frame it that way. He starts with "if I had a son like you." He is, once again, establishing Ishida is a child, and even more insulting, he is making Ishida *his* child, which quickly diminishes any other type of relationship existing between them.

Mitsuya isn't just rejecting Ishida, he is pushing him away by drawing a deep line based on Ishida's insecurity. They can never work because Mitsuya is an old man, and Ishida is a child.

The only time Mitsuya's fully looks Ishida in his face throughout this entire scene is when he tells Ishida he cannot come there anymore.

He holds himself for the rest of his delivery as his arms act as a stand-in for Ishida's hug, but they can't replace the warmth that Ishida gives. And Mitsuya's know that.

Mitsuya called Ishida. Mitsuya wanted Ishida to be there. Mitsuya didn't want Ishida to leave. But now faced with Ishida's physical desire for him, Mitsuya lashes out. It doesn't feel that way at first. It comes across that Mitsuya is thinking of Ishida and his future, but Mitsuya is afraid. His desire for Ishida to be in his life scares him. This is Mitsuya's problem.

This whole episode has been about Frito, but it isn't about Frito. Not really.

Mitsuya has stated he was reckless with other men's hearts, and Mitsuya got Frito as a distraction after his heart was broken. As much as his last relationship hurt him, Mitsuya never experienced love until he got Frito. At least not at this level. He stated that he could live happily for the rest of his life in that house with Frito and nothing else.

But, again, this isn't really about Frito. Ishida was a distraction like all the editors and guests who come to Mitsuya's house. He makes them food, and they leave, but somehow, Ishida was different.

And now Mitsuya wants Ishida around. He worries about him. He thinks about him. He needs him. And that is too much for Mitsuya because what would he do if he lost Ishida? If his last breakup was bad even with all the turmoil, imagine how bad this soft and kind love would hurt? If he feels this way now, how would he feel after a few months or even years? What would he do if he lost Ishida after giving him his heart?

So he doesn't. He turns his back to Ishida. He throws subtle insults. He stops it before it starts.

And the camera lingers.

I truly thought Ishida would walk back in because the camera made me believe he would.

But he didn't.

Mitsuya dismissed him, and like a good kid, Ishida did as he was told.

Which is why for the first time in a long time, I need to see a Japanese BL boy run toward his heart. Ishida respects Mitsuya which is why he left, but Ishida also proved Mitsuya right. Ishida will do as he is told. If Ishida's family disapproves, he will do as he is told. If society tells Ishida this isn't right, he will do as he is told. Ishida continued baseball even when he knew he no longer loved it because his family had put so much into his dream. Ishida is a good kid who always thinks of others before he thinks about himself. He even told Mitsuya to go to Paris if that would make him happy when it would have destroyed Ishida.

So it's time for Ishida to be a man and follow his heart. He began this journey by transferring into the sports editor position. He hugged Mitsuya even when Mitsuya told him to stop. And now he needs to run after Mitsuya even though Mitsuya is pushing him away.

Noguchi, climbing through windows and over walls and sneaking through doors, makes sense now.

Shige said Mitsuya was always like this, useless in romance. Mitsuya puts up walls that men have to climb. He closes doors that men have to open. And he shuts off his heart.

So Ishida needs to be a man and stay even when he is told to go instead of an obedient child who leaves.

Ishida needs to keep going even when he is told to give up.

Frito made Mitsuya into the adult he is today by teaching him how to care for others, but Ishida is going to make Mitsuya understand what it means to be cared for.

Ishida will be a great partner because he will be the man who runs home to the guy he loves.

But, first, he has to stop being such a damn good kid.

[herenvibing]

“We’re all treated equally terribly!” says person with ontological privilege over the person they’re talking to

[goth-transmasc-demi-omni]

Day 14 on T.

This thought occurred to me. He's always been inside me but now...I think I can hold him back no longer.

Is he rage? Yes.

Is he me? Yes.

Can I tame him?

I'll keep you updated, but so far the answer is no, and I'm not sure I want to.

"Let the masculinity just wash over you" is the mantra I've been living by, and my dudes. Oh my gods, my dudes. It WORKS. Let it just overtake you, and the changes are so fast.

The "How many times have I," and "This one is different...Right?" is about the many times I've killed past versions of myself in favor of the next me.

That's why, when I look at the me that's coming and all the me's I've been...this one is different, right? This time it'll stay, it's not just a passing whim?

Have I done the right thing?

[gongyussy]

good thing from jp twitter this week is queen of old man yaoi michiru sonoo discovering the term old man yaoi

update: somehow it got impossibly more wholesome

quick translation: おかえり: welcome home あ 終わった 終わった: ahhh, it's over! it's done! コーヒー? お茶?: coffee? tea? コ~ヒ~ ありがと: coffee, thank you~ ネクタイレア★★ ネクタイ取るレア★★★★: seeing him with a tie on, rarity level ★★, seeing him take a tie off, rarity level ★★★★ にあうな~: it suits him~

also please do follow: AraigumaSha: sensei's twitter account marureviere: maru, who does such valuable work highlighting bl manga for an international audience

[ester-galls]

uhm so... screw it better?

[kenapiece-main]

Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job

[sadclowncentral]

cannot stop thinking about the french man who during dinner responded to a person asking "should we be naughty and get desert" by pulling a face and going "naughty? it is chocolate, it is not an, uh, threesome"

[noodles-07]

to be fair to Cain if nobody had ever died before and I didn't know it was possible I would probably also hit my brother over the head with a rock if he was being really annoying

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

[favroitecrime]

captured from an ambulance. captured. from an ambulance. do not stop speaking about palestine please

[doctorwhowatchesthewatchmen]

shipping isn’t about what the writers or actors say is or isn’t romantic. shipping isn’t even about romance a good percentage of the time. shipping is about seeing The Dynamic and going absolutely hog wild in your mind and your friends dms about it.

[circumpolarvampire]

"*X country* should colonize the US! Please nuke the US!"

You all will do anything to not give us our land back huh

[holographings]

someone on twitter said Imagine what s2 jayce would give to talk to s1 viktor just one more time. and someone had a time travel alternate dimension fic ready to go. and i read it. and now my face is being eaten by 3750 feral dogs i think

[azvhaalk]

glorious evolution

[nathaniacolver]

arcane ships be like

i love a show that teaches equality (😭😭😭)