#you are allowed to be angry at men for that

[velvetvexations]

I feel like a lot of the trans women saying that masculinity/manhood is always rewarded in everyone because patriarchy often forget that the opposite is true, actually, for people who are seen as women/put in the "woman" category.

Because yes, trans women are usually forced into manhood and "rewarded" for being men, and punished for being women. But that's not because manhood is universally rewarded in everyone, but because partriarchy sees having been born with a penis as "man".

It also sees being born with a vagina as "woman", and every deviation from that is *also* punished.

Yes, people who are seen as women/girls may have more freedom in expression of gender (depending on where they are from. I hate when ppl act like people afab everywhere can just dress like men without punishment. There are so many countries with laws on what "women" (and those treated as women because of their agab) can wear, and if anyone believes for one second that breaking these laws is REWARDED in any way, they're so fucking deep in their own head and need to talk to someone from these countries) but that freedom was fought for by feminists! Feminists have fought to be simply just allowed to wear pants. It's ridiculous to look at how it is now (in the western world) and make conclusions on that without looking at *why* it is that way now and how it was before.

And people are usually expected to grow out of their tomboy-"phase" by the time they reach their late teens, or early twenties at latest, and become a feminine woman, wife, and mother. If you don't do that, your masculinity gets punished.

And the masculinity of people afab is also only (begrudgingly) accepted (in SOME places in the world) as long as they're still visible as women or girls and their masculinity is hot and serves cishet men. As soon as they step "too far" out of these roles (by being non-binary or men, or being "ugly", fat, or anything that would make them "undesirable"), their masculinity gets punished. Horribly.

It's really infuriating when (trans)radfem trans women try to act like their experiences are universal and whenever someone says something that disagrees with them, they must be lying or "delusional" (yay, ableism! so progressive /s) for thinking that they were, in fact, punished for their masculinity or manhood...

Sorry for unloading this on you, didn't know where else to put it. And thank you so much for listening.

I think a major issue here is that no matter how much we try to reason things out and work through why they act the way they do, radical feminism, trans or cis, ultimately comes down, at some point, to a deliberate decision to prioritize egocentrism and their own desires over seeing other people as real, actual people - not even other transfems, who they just sexualize and try to control, or call a TERF if they can't. And it's hard to reason with that.

Like, they have to know on some level that they hyperinflate trans women in particular being "socially murdered"* to use as social capital and terrorize younger** transfems into isolating themselves. Maybe a very long time ago for some of them it came from the distress they felt from the legitimately immense danger transfems face in a variety of contexts, but they've shot far beyond that now and just don't really care. They've built a cage of unreality around themselves that makes me feel like I'm talking to aliens.

Like the other day, I was talking to one who insisted that the tee-em-ees will not show up for me. Like, I said they did, and she said they won't, and I was like, but they DO! They have! Always! I've seen it with my own eyes, directly for me specifically! But it was just "who hurt you," "let yourself be angry," "don't settle for just scraps," "they won't treat you better if you throw yourself at their feet," "social murder," and it's like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ARE YOU HAVING A STROKE? WAS THIS A DREAM YOU HAD?

And what about the deliberately cruel fuckery, the constant derision of the most petty things like forcemasc? What the fuck do they get out of wrongly asserting that women are never punished for masculinity and never have a problem with being viewed as masculine, like why are they doing that, what is their goal? Because it seems like it's literally just "mock and invalidate the sexual interests of others and deem it an inferior copy of our thing."

What do they get out of misgendering cis and trans men for forcefem funsies and telling them to suck it up? They don't really believe that their forcefem joke is the only thing that might make an egg crack. That's extremely obviously a lie. They're doing it because they want to, because it's their kink, because they don't care about the feelings of other people, and they can use transmisogyny as a convenient defense when people ask them to moderate literally any of their behavior for the comfort of everyone else to literally any extent while demanding everyone else shut up and defer to them on every single topic in every single situation.

And this stuff with D20 and Ophiuchus and the transmasc character being treated better? A lie. Just fully making it up. Inventing it. Fabricating it. For attention.

I've never had one acknowledge it when I've tried to explain that I first learned about all of this from transmasc friends bringing it to me so they could defer to my opinion.

They're determined to stay like this. It sucks.

*truly a phrase that makes me livid to even think about now, they reduce it to about the same level of seriousness as forcefem jokes, every single time it's so thoughtlessly hollow and self-obsessed but you could guess that from it being a fair description of every thought they externalize

**let me make this clear, I'm referring to young adults, I am not accusing anyone of being predatory towards minors nor am I saying the motivations are necessarily sexual anyway, although clearly transradfems don't care about the effect their hyperbole will have on the mental health of minors exposed to it and trained from a young age to never trust anyone, so underage transfems are very much a concern here, but not in the sense that they're being directly and personally abused in any way

[demonstars]

wanted to paint these properly but got lazy SO. dnf dancing cueca chilena 🇨🇱 and polca montuvia 🇪🇨. in the first dream as china, jorge as huaso, and then them both as montuvios from the ecuador coast once again infodumping under the cut!

la cueca chilena has a complicated origin which i will not get into right now because i mostly forgot everything about it. oops. what does matter is that it is the typical dance around las fiestas patrias (as a fun fact: september 19th is the day of military glory which is. well. whatever it's a holiday yknow. yesterday was day of independence.) what is important to note here is that, as a courting dance, there are many variations of coquettish and cute movements to be done as a couple as they dance. the idea is to mimic the courting of a chicken and a rooster, funny enough

they're both using napkins, which are an important part of the dance, worn in the right hand and which serve to decorate the dance. there's a great (and sadly dying) tradition of weaving these napkins. dream is thus "hiding" himself from george's "courting" as a way to get him to insist more, and hopefully earn himself another dance so they spend more time together on the dancefloor :3

cueca is a dance that allows a lot of freedom to the dancers, with only three "stages" that they must pass do. there are many subgenres, such as cueca brava (angry), chilota (from a particular island), de salón, rock, and genres created to protest, such as cueca sola (lonely). THIS HAS NO IMPORTANCE TO THE DRAWING I JUST REALLY LIKE THE DANCE AND WHAT IT REPRESENTS.

now with polca montuvia, it has a more direct origin, being brought from spaniards colonizers and all of that not fun stuff. there aren't particular roles as far as I'm aware (aside from. men/women. yknwo). it is a very fun dance!!!

this is a musical subgenre that emerges from the ecuadorian coast, and it is a reclamation from the fancy vals dances that used to occur in the center of the city. by transforming the melodies, rhymes and steps of the general polka, a new version was created. it is often danced in the same parties in which amorfinos, villancicos or alzas are sang/danced.

there is a lot of negative perceptions as to who montuvios are or what their celebrations where, considered "drunken, messy people". this has resulted in a lot of degrading comments of these dances, but I find them absolutely wonderful :(((

according to the local mythos, this particular dance was created because the orenses (people from the "los oros" province) wanted a dance for themselves. it has evolved past this point by now, but the fight for identity is still present in many of the songs in which you would dance polka montuvia.

[ailendolin]

I cannot stop thinking about episode 6.

The way Celebrimbor shoved Annatar feels like such a triumphant moment. He is physically fighting back against him now, not just mentally, and yet he is so deep inside the labyrinth already that this small win is nothing but the setup for another trap. He doesn't even realise what time of day it is supposed to be, and he is so desperate for everything to be all right that the too perfect vision Annatar creates for him is immediately a comfort.

And Annatar - the worst thing is, even when he is clearly angry and impatient and fearing to lose control, he is not lying. "Leave this tower now, and when the Men of Middle-Earth fall, I swear to you every soul in the seen or unseen world will know that it was you who was the architect of their demise." Because this is exactly what is going to happen - just not because Celebrimbor is leaving the tower, but because he is returning to it.

And don't get me started on Galadriel and how easily she allowed herself to be manipulated into giving up strategic information not just regarding Lindon's troops and who is leading them but also Nenya. She gave it to Elrond to keep it safe and here she is, telling Adar exactly where to find it, endangering not only Nenya but also Elrond and all of Eregion in the process.

It is all about manipulation, about people thinking they have the upper hand when they have not. And after what we've seen Annatar do this episode, how can the viewers know what is real or not? That moment in the promo for 2x07 between Galadriel and Celebrimbor - is that something that is truly going to happen or is it just another one of Annatar's realities, created to comfort Celebrimbor so he will forge the Nine? How long has Celebrimbor already been alone in the tower? How long will it take him to realise how lost he truly is?

[fulltimecatwitch]

Cheating on wife was only a rumour, but if we're going to talk rumors, than let's talk about the rumors of Carlos cheating on his ex girlfriend as well lol ( except i'm not going to because rumours about the driver's personal lives have nothing to do with what happens on the track)

I agree that Checo shouldn't have pushed/tapped Carlos' helmet after the incident and I'm not trying to excuse him with this post, but i do think it's important to discuss why painting this picture of him as a disgusting, angry or violent man after what happened is pushing towards racism

Many other drivers throughout the years have been involved in similar confrontations. Max V. was famous for his temper, but he aas never painted as dangerous or irrational. George hit Bottas' helmet at Emilia Romagna, but he was never called a criminal or dangerous

Checo jas been called all of these things and even worse

You are allowed to not like Checo and it's true not all of the hate towards him comes from racism or xenophobia, but to say that it's a false or convenient narrative is blatant disregard of the discrimination all POC drivers have faced in F1.

There is a large history of how POC men in F1 have been called violent, savage, irrational, dumb ( and even worse things) and how these attributes have been linked to racist, xenophobic narrative.

Lewis Hamilton has been pretty vocal about the systematic racism present in F1 we have seen how much hate Alex Albon got when he was with Red Bull and how many racism and xenophobia he had to endure as well ( just to mention some recent examples)

So it's not a convinient narrative, it's calling out the double standards and discriminatory behaviors present in f1

maybe you all should take off your biased glasses and start listening to why so many people have been speaking about how this kind of narrative perpetuates hurtful stereotypes

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[a-darling-thing]

Been dipping my toe into working through my religious (evangelical christian) trauma lately, and let me tell you, the whole idea that "the highest ideal of divinity and perfect love is to take on everyone's sins as your own and then die" was really one I took to heart.

[fauvester]

Do lim and garak ever have a genuine bonding moment?

OUGHH I think he has to get a lot of his therapizing done offscreen and internally. He needs to put aside his anger and see his father and his contemporaries for the flawed-but-trying people they are. Iskra doesn't really help, but eventually 'if you'd been born into his position you would have done the same thing to protect Cardassia that he did, except worse, because he's smarter than you' settles in.

Garak has to learn to speak his mind more plainly because Lim sees his vague allusions and crafty lies as a cowardly way to hide unpleasant truths. Galactic politics necessitates that he tones his monomaniac Cardassian exceptionalism down, and eventually that may grow to reflect his genuine feelings (but if asked he will certainly lie, so who knows?) Lim needs to grow up a little, see that his parents are also just people trying their best like he is, and maybe go through the mundane trials of adult life on a stunned and recuperating planet to sand his edges off. It's very gradual.

Also tbh they need some time to develop things in common... Lim isn't very well read, doesn't like to talk for fun and is inconsistently disparaging of anything unnecessarily decorative. But eventually he develops an appreciation for creature comforts and realizes that that doesn't make him a bad person, and then he and Garak can debate about what color to paint the house siding or whether or not the azaleas will grow in full sun.

But he very much benefits from some good yadek hugs now and then...

[bunni-bonez]

tbh I think it’s kinda fucked that young men who get radicalized by the alt right tend be receive way more sympathy from leftists than young women who get radicalized into terfdom. It seems like a lot of online leftists see young Nazis as enemies (as they should), but redeemable ones. They get the luxury of having their radicalization explained with Materialism so that they can, in theory, eventually see the light. Which on some levels is good. Deradicalization is a good way of defanging dangerous movements. But radfems never get that grace. Which is understandable, they are hateful bigots after all, but their ideas don’t spring from nowhere. I’ve spent more hours than I’d like to admit curiously scrolling thru radfem blogs. And honestly. I get it. A lot of it just feels like understandable frustration at growing up in a misogynistic culture. On tumblr at least, it seems like radfems are primarily angry at men, trans people are secondary enemies to them. Its justified to be angry. I may not have always lived as a woman, but I harbor a lot of pain and anger at the way misogyny affects my life. But that anger can not be the sole basis of my outlook. Because anger only shows you half the truth. And in the material blind spots is where radfem transphobia comes in. Trans people might not always be the main enemy, but they are the more vulnerable one. While we should oppose terfs, especially the active propagandists who want us dead, it is important to understand how young women get swept up in that ideology. And hopefully through that, we we can try to prevent that rabbit hole.

Or idk whatever I hate discourse lol

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

idk if i have stated in so many words before but kinda weird for people not to care about the brown men of the story on account of them being men

like most people did to javi irl what the yellowjackets did in the show lol, dismissed always, no more than the little kid, he was already dead

[black-rose-writings]

It's that time of the year again - time to argue with my mom about why I'm uncomfortable participating in the "symbolic violence against women "for their own good"" holiday.

[mariemariemaria]

Does anybody else feel the waves of history crashing over them constantly and like they can't escape the generational trauma that permeates and poisons every interaction they have or do I just need to chill and have a drink lol

[dayurno]

No but for real do you think Jean blamed Kevin for leaving him at the Nest?

(being held at gunpoint) ok ok ok ok ill answer officer please

i dont think jean necessarily blames kevin for anything thats happened in the nest, but he's still just a person after all. in such a harsh environment and suddenly alone after hanging so much of his sanity on kevin and their friendship, of course jean resents him for leaving; he doesn't have the time nor the space to process the feeling of loss in any other meaningful way.

but! i think after he is no longer in such peril and can think clearly, jean learns to be angry at the world again. the realization that the anger towards the nest riko beat out of him was actually Rightful and Just like the sword of an angel will also bring the logical explanation that kevin was in no more control than he himself was, and that ultimately it was not his fault. i believe the pain of abandonment for jean comes from a much deeper place though, and that will be something that creates a rift between them even if jean doesn't blame kevin anymore; kevin, because he is too afraid of jean hating him to actually allow them to interact again, and jean, because kevin's avoidance of him makes him angry when he was prepared to absolve kevin of guilt in the first place

[sonyapaxtonapologist]

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: lisa cuddy never expected house to undergo unreasonable changes in his personality and/or lifestyle in order to date her. she has her moments of doubt about starting a relationship with an mentally/emotionally unstable man who was actively abusing drugs and alcohol (namely bc she was a mother !!!) but she processed these feelings largely on her own or, on occasion, with wilson. she doesn’t make it house’s concern, nor does she write house off entirely bc of these (completely understandable) considerations. she also never really expects him to get sober and even encourages him to make his own choice about if he wants to end his sobriety during “help me” (6x21). then, once she and house do start a romantic relationship, she still doesn’t issue any ultimatums. instead she tells him that “common is boring” and that she much prefers their push-pull dynamic, which challenges one another to be better versions of themselves, to something more ordinary or traditional. this is a wonderful quality in a partnership !! whenever i hear the same tired party line that “cuddy wanted house to change” i’m just ,,, boggled. do you not think that people naturally transform in the course of their lifetimes ? do you not think that in a healthy, loving relationship, you and your partner will both want to grow for yourself and one another ? (and for any prospective or actual children you raise together) ? cuddy never asked anything of house that he could not answer to (e.g. enduring the difficult aspects of life as a united front), just as house never asked things of cuddy that she could not answer to (e.g. having her trust him with her daughter). having boundaries and expectations of your partner doesn’t mean that you don’t “love and accept them as they are.” if anything this combats unhelpful enabling and passivity !! so, in cuddy’s case, she sees house for all his flaws, has no desire to fundamentally change them, but does hope that in a mutually beneficial relationship they can bring out the best in one another, fostering their strengths while managing their flaws. how does anyone see that and still act like cuddy was a bitch ????? what year is it ?? 2006 and we all have to hate women in tv shows still ???

[isa-ah]

I just wanna thank you for being a vocal angry trans guy. I'm also a trans guy, but just a few years ago, I'd fallen victim to the whole "trans men don't have it as bad as trans women, and are just begging for unearned attention when we insert ourselves in the conversation" mindset, and you (as well as a few other people I follow) have helped me unlearn all of that.

It's so frustrating when people withIN the trans community are fighting against other trans people. We all have it rough, and this infighting is going to help absolutely no one. Same with the kink at pride "discourse." I used to be on the "but what about the kids?" side until I learned that pride wouldn't even exist if it weren't for drag queens and kinksters. Pride isn't supposed to be family friendly! It's about embracing diversity and celebrating sexuality! That includes kink!

Anyway, thanks for helping me realize that I'm allowed to be an angry trans guy and stand up for myself and my own experiences. Tumblr (and just spending too much time online in general) really rots peoples brains, and I had to learn that the hard way, through first-hand experience lol

yeah, this place can definitely put you into a christian style pearl clutching tailspin about purity and sanitization but its like. whos dead bodies are our rights propped up on? are you going to undo everything thats been done for us by the generations before us because its not advertiser friendly?

the experience of being a trans man who experiences being spoken over, who experiences misogyny, who experiences transandrophobia, who experiences transphobia- like where do we ever get a word in edgewise about our OWN lived experiences? and if we cant discuss it, how are the kids ever going to know theyre not alone, and that theyre not the monster in the fairytale just for existing?

idk. the whole thing makes me really mad and i think more trans men should be getting fucking pissed at the way were treated in every circle were in, even our own.

[im2tired4usernames]

I hope what ever asshole cultist invited the stay at home daughter movement a very your dick gets rips into bits and eaten by pigs

[devilsskettle]

https://www.tumblr.com/devilsskettle/713255472175677440/so-funny-to-me-when-men-complain-that-theyre-also?source=share

are u sure ur not a terf? both of these things are true

women are constantly belittled and devalued for expressing themselves and speaking up. because of the patriarchy.

the same patriarchy that enforces the ideal man to be macho and shitty and terrible people and any man that doesnt want to do that and wants to be a normal person is seen as inferior and is subject to harassment

one does not exclude the other

yeah i'm pretty sure i'm not trans exclusionary but thanks for asking.

anyway if you're gonna scour my blog to look for things to bitch at me about, you might as well refer to my elaboration on this thought: https://www.tumblr.com/devilsskettle/713319656062091264/the-thing-is-i-think-that-men-really-do-believe?source=share

i'm not gonna argue this shit again. you're trying to argue with me about something you basically agree with, which is that men are not the primary victims of the patriarchy and that the ways in which men are harmed by the patriarchy are not exclusive to men. what you're doing is equating emotional harm to men with systematic and physical harm to women. you lack reading comprehension and your understanding of feminism is infantile

also don't you think acting like my frustration towards men = hatred of trans women (despite never mentioning them at all) is transphobic of you