#Like yeah misogyny is awful and everywhere

[bunni-bonez]

tbh I think it’s kinda fucked that young men who get radicalized by the alt right tend be receive way more sympathy from leftists than young women who get radicalized into terfdom. It seems like a lot of online leftists see young Nazis as enemies (as they should), but redeemable ones. They get the luxury of having their radicalization explained with Materialism so that they can, in theory, eventually see the light. Which on some levels is good. Deradicalization is a good way of defanging dangerous movements. But radfems never get that grace. Which is understandable, they are hateful bigots after all, but their ideas don’t spring from nowhere. I’ve spent more hours than I’d like to admit curiously scrolling thru radfem blogs. And honestly. I get it. A lot of it just feels like understandable frustration at growing up in a misogynistic culture. On tumblr at least, it seems like radfems are primarily angry at men, trans people are secondary enemies to them. Its justified to be angry. I may not have always lived as a woman, but I harbor a lot of pain and anger at the way misogyny affects my life. But that anger can not be the sole basis of my outlook. Because anger only shows you half the truth. And in the material blind spots is where radfem transphobia comes in. Trans people might not always be the main enemy, but they are the more vulnerable one. While we should oppose terfs, especially the active propagandists who want us dead, it is important to understand how young women get swept up in that ideology. And hopefully through that, we we can try to prevent that rabbit hole.

Or idk whatever I hate discourse lol

[pillarsalt]

I was seeing so much hate for radfems that I finally decided to check it for myself and the amount of misinformation about your group is crazy. The whole "radfems love beauty standards" touted everywhere but I see more posts denouncing the beauty industry in a day by radfems than I ever do everywhere else because people implode if you say that shaving is bad. The "radfems love being victims and want to remain victims" thing when it's women giving each other advice on to leave abusive relationships. Like. It's insane. I've seen bad parts of it that were victim blamey or racist but the overwhelming majority is just feminism. Good feminism that criticizes society as a whole. And more black and racial minority women than anywhere else on tumblr. I feel like I was immensely lied to. I'm less alarmist about trans people and I think that calling them slurs or disrespecting them is unnecessary but truthfully it is awful that sex has been erased from talks about feminism. I have no idea what kind of parallel reality everybody lives in because I found myself agreeing with a ton of things radfems say and I even believe that the people wrongfully calling you out would agree too if they listened.

Thanks for this message anon, and thanks for making the choice to look into things for yourself instead of just going along with what everyone tells you. Very few people who hate "terfs"/feminists actually understand our points of view, because it's forbidden to even briefly read or listen to what we have to say, the reasoning being that we'll somehow magically "indoctrinate" you. No one's allowed to hear us, so when asked "but why are they so bad?" they have to make up random bullshit that has nothing to do with what we believe. The real reason is because our arguments are quite basically common sense approaches to women's rights and pattern recognition when it comes to differences in male and female experiences. It's hard to un-see what was right in front of your eyes the whole time.

I'll add that I personally don't think calling trans people or anyone else slurs is acceptable. I do think a lot of women on the feminist side of tumblr have a lot of anger and resentment built up towards men who identify as trans because of the misogyny they've seen come out of the trans movement, anger I honestly think is justified. The moral high ground is always the best road to take, but after having womanhood mansplained to you for the hundredth time as a collection of regressive stereotypes because you're just a stupid bigot cis bitch and you wouldn't get it, yeah being a bit mean in return is understandable. I still think it's unnecessary to use slurs.

I really agree with your last point, there's a reason that feminist rhetoric is so suppressed on both sides of the political spectrum. Consciousness raising is so important, caring about women is important. No matter how hard they try to silence us, women will keep talking to each other and women will continue to wake up to the lies they're being fed.

[onesidedradiostatic]

helluva boss s2e7 reaction

FINALLY catching up, let's-a-go

oh my god???

more younger fizz and blitzo???

do you think he and adam would get along

LMAO???????? GOOD JOB DUDE

why is he like the only asshole deadly sin we've seen so far, ozzie, beelzebub and lucifer are all goodhearted in some way

MISOGYNY???? oh he and adam would REALLY get along

aw man

ah so mammon is the reason we kept seeing fizzarolli merch everywhere, I see

oh. oh boy

oooooh boy

I see that makes sense

I assumed before that his fame came from his involvement with ozzie but it was mammon instead huh, being involved with 2 deadly sins as an imp is crazy

oh hey this looks familiar..... almost like it's someone's pfp with an asexual flag behind it.......

oh boy

awww, more of them. I'm glad at least ozzie is there for him

HEEEEELP WHAT

HELP GAY HORSE SHOW

honestly based

LMAOOO I love how they still banter even though they're sorta rekindling now

AWWWW is that a little deaf kid?

awwwwwwwwwww

ooooooh boy

it's cool blitzo called fizz likable, can really see how they've rekindled

ngl though their act is pretty damn cool, I'm loving all the changes in colours

honestly I've been wondering how fizz and ozzie met, was it through mammon?

aaaaaawww

aaaaaawwwww

caption is killing me but AAAAWWWW

LMAOOOOOOOO

ooooh good on him for recognising it

HELP LMAO???????????

I'M GONNA CRY HE GOT THE CROWD TO SING THIS

AWWWW the deaf kid

AHAHAHHAH WAS EXPECTiNG THIS

I'M GONNA CRY???????

I love how they don't have use the commonly used fizzmodeus LMAOOO. anyways hell denizens are canonically rpf fans thank you for letting me know helluva boss.

BUT YEAH that's it, all pretty cool stuff, of course hazbin hotel is still the Main Attraction for me but helluva definitely has a lot of pretty good stuff, fizzarolli is great, he and ozzie are cute and his dynamic with blitzo is so funny, I love it

no more to stay tuned for for now but hey, now I have helluva knowledge. WOOOO

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/730673862304464896/id-probably-write-more-gen-and-ff-if-i-hung-out

Maybe this is just the circles I run in but I exclusively write f/f and have never once found those circles to be full of antis and radfems who think everything is misogyny or whatever prev anon’s quote was. I write some pretty fucked up stuff and to date have never received anything even vaguely anti. YMMV, obviously, but honestly maybe anon just needs a better fandom

--

Yeah. I think the sometimes relative smallness of f/f circles can exacerbate a trend. Like... if smaller fandom X is awful, it's all awful, where in MCU you could maybe find a corner with the less terrible people.

But I can't believe that it's all like that everywhere.

Anecdotally, from asks here over the years, it does seem like enthusiastic f/f-only types who make their own party have a better time of it and that the worst behavior shows up in spaces that are full of jealous, bitter people who waste their time crying about m/m being more popular or the rival het ship being big or something. (My suspicion is that some of the worst offenders may be people who feel guilty about their own lack of ~commitment~ to f/f and are projecting all over everyone else. That's certainly who writes the most tedious meta about AO3 stats.)

[cosmossystem]

Hey, I'm sorry for suddenly dumping this onto your askbox, but I just feel the need to be heard

I honestly don't care about being anti and proship at all

But... Everytime I see a post from someone who proudly calling themselves anti... It's always so scarily violent

All those posts saying "kill yourself", "deserves to die", all of that stuff

If you don't like a person or stuff they make... Just block them, mute the tags they use, forget they ever exist

Literally easier to do that than harassing the said person or making others uncomfortable with your violence tendencies

This is why some people that have "I'm an anti" or "Proship dni" have become such a redflag to me, even tho most of the time people who uses them are genuinely just good people who misunderstood what proship is

I wish this whole discourse never existed, I miss everything before 2020...

^^ this

and we feel the exact same way

like we dont have any hard stances on shipcourse because both sides have misinfo and both are wrong about some things-- like, we are firmly anti-lolisho and thats one of the things that is usually seen as "proship", but we do have "problematic" ships and we believe in SALS and are anti-censorship. so much misinfo flies between the two because no one cares about being right, they care about looking right, much like every other fake-activist (which are unfortunately common these days.)

the only reason we even care to begin with is because antis have been so violent to us about it. if you arent with them, youre against them, and if youre against them, youre a target.

it seems like theres a lot of antis in neurodivergent & plural spaces, too, which is just crazy to me, so it feels like we have to specify every time "yes, we're the proship in your DNI, just block us please."

i do wanna say that while 2020 made things worse, ive been in shipcourse + fandom spaces since 2016 and it was pretty bad back then too. like in 2016 i had an anti-ship & anti-ddlg blog and there were DOZENS of other antis in the tags -- yall remember "character-against-bad-ships" blogs? yeah. we ran several of those and had hundreds of mutuals running them as well. (im getting flashbacks to "sonic-for-real-justice". eugh.)

we Fully Converted To Proshipism (/j) in about 2018-19, so i saw how bad it was getting right before covid and honestly its never fully recovered. fandom hasnt really been peaceful since... maybe before 2016? i dont know, i wasnt there. flaming and ship wars have always been around but i honestly cant think of when all this "pro v anti" stuff started. seems like it was a slow buildup and now its just fucking everywhere.

i know this wasnt the point of your ask, but im gonna go on a tangent here because i like to yap:

i think the current state of shipcourse is caused, in part, by the fact that younger generations are getting into fandom. except, i think every time someone points this out, they get it wrong and pin it on some bullshit like "younger fans are mistaking fandom for activism/politics!" that argument sucks because that doesnt afford any empathy to the teenagers and young adults who grew up in this awful fucking political climate (including myself.) fandom IS politics to young people, because they have been aware of the state of the world since the time they could read and dont know a world that isnt inherently political in every way.

and then that brings up the misconception that fandom isnt / should never be political, which isnt true and is literally just denial of what is already happening. every form of media and consumption is inherently political. proshippers tend to be wrong about that, plug their ears and lalala until it goes away while ignoring the very political parts of fandom-- like the misogyny, racism, ableism, aphobia... etc.

and so we get stuck in the same song and dance because everyone is wrong and parrots the same disinfo. fandom is very black and white like that. its either everything is ok, or none of it is, with no room for nuance. like for instance: you can enjoy shipping the canonically-aroace character with someone and that doesnt make you a bad person, but dont pretend that doesnt have any real world implications. and so on.

anyway. thank you for the ask, anon. sorry this got really long and passionate. im very opinionated.

- red

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

@severewonderlandstarlight why would you do this to me?/j (also I just realized my askbox got closed? Eh I'll fix it later)

I am gonna get hate for this but personally I feel it's overrated. I can see why it was and is still liked so much, (rivals-to-lovers and water-and-fire, red-and-blue and opposites attract are like staple in shipping side) and don't get me wrong some shippers have made some genuinely incredible pieces of work around this ship, but it's also like fandom treats it like this ultimate example of queerbait when in truth in canon it was barely developed.

And maybe it's because I personally dislike K3ith's character and the way the show prioritised his character over everything including the plot but for me the few canon moments that are there are only to benefit K3ith's character. Which brings to my second opinion which is that I don't get this insistence that canon KL could have fixed vld. Cause like no, almost all of the problems in this show happened because of just god awful mismanagement, writers and eps very obvious racism, misogyny, and ableism, and the fact that they shat out 8 seasons in merely 2 years.

Insisting that the only thing wrong with the show was a fanon ship not becoming canon (whether it be KL or let's be most of the mlm K3ith ships because no way the writers would have let their precious self insert be interested in men, especially male characters of colour they love to humiliate and kill) just ignores all the terrible ways they managed to fuck up such a diverse cast. Even if kl were to become canon what's more likely to happen was Lnce being reduced to K3ith's damsel in distress therapist boyfriend who ends up getting killed for K3ith's development.

So yeah, I admit i used to like this ship, but i have grown tired of it both because it's Everywhere and because I have lost interest in shipping in general. I still enjoy it time to time, but overall meh ship, Lnce can do and deserves better/j

(This isn't me hating on the shippers btw, if you are a kl shipper reading this-do whatever you want pal! as long you all are minding your business and not sending death threats over stupid ships literally just do whatever you want)

[sapphire-weapon]

So I never played OG RE2. Only OG4. It's why the romance in RE6 hit me like a train. I was like "where would this even come from!? the love makes no sense, it's written at random?" I had no idea how different RE2 was and I would love to see RE5 and 6 remade and handle (practically every character) a bit differently to see where it goes. My main issue with Aeon was that it just made no sense to me, lol. I'd still like to see Ada go off and have her own arc separate from Leon though in future releases (though yeah... she's a side character... I won't hold my breath).

Anyway, as you've pointed out how the original was so different, may I ask why you didn't like original Aeon? (Apart from the uh... very tastless and blatant misogyny and racism via asian fetishisation, if you have them). It would be interesting to hear a perspective about the older narrative.

Don't misunderstand. Aeon still doesn't make any fucking sense. It never has. It only works conceptually when you're talking about the story beats in very broad strokes like I did in response to your last ask. In execution, it is a clusterfuck of nonsense that goes nowhere and has no reason to exist.

OG RE2 gives us some incredible dialogue like:

"I know her! Ada wouldn't do something like that!" (Really, Leon? You know her? This woman you met like four hours ago who's spent half the game running off on her own and not telling you shit? You know her?)

"I know that I'm not capable of caring about anyone, but... I don't want to lose you." (What does this mean, Ada??? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN EVEN)

"Ada! Running off like that was reckless and stupid! Those zombies are everywhere -- not to mention that thing that got Ben!" "I was there, Leon. I know."

Romance of the century, right here.

In the ending to LeonB in OG, Ada refers to herself as "just a woman who... fell in love with you" and then kisses Leon and "dies" in his arms and it is SO FUCKING STUPID AND MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE AT ALL LMAO

I have no idea what those two see in each other, and the "romance" only makes sense if you think of it as a trauma response and not a genuine love.

Ada is only ever utilized in RE to service Leon's character, which is bullshit when you consider how many REALLY IMPORTANT plot things she's tied up with that never pay off for her at all, because they disappear from her story as soon as they stop being connected to Leon in some way. It's fucking awful.

But, again. On paper and in concept, it's a really interesting relationship. I've personally made an in-depth case as to how to justify it, but it only works in concept. In execution, Aeon is the literary equivalent of blowing fart noises into your hands to a very vague rhythm and calling it music.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

there was a post on reddit (about toxic taekook shipping) about how a lot of se asian fans take loveships seriously even when they're not real (like reality tv couples) and they'll still ship them if they are in a relationship with another person. it's shipping to the extreme.

Whether we realize it or not, whether we admit it to ourselves or not, 50% of shipping is fantasy 🤷‍♀️ we never know the full story, and even when we do, some people still cling to what they think it's true. Case in point, Jungkook saying that the J is for JK and jikookers clinging to "he can't say it's for JM but it's actually for JM"

50% real is that the J actually exists. 50% fantasy is what the shippers think it means.

Same happens with everything else. We're only seeing this side of things, we don't know what it actually looks like on their side, which is reality reality for BTS members.

I really wouldn't like to disrespect anyone either, but there's misogyny everywhere, right? It exists in all forms and sizes, and in every corner of the planet. So there's also a lot to be talked about and even studied when it comes to failed dating experiences and men who are just awful to young girls and women in general. There's a lot of idealization of romantic relationships, and they find that ships are an outlet for those ideals. There is a reason why shippers are usually straight women. Why aren't they shipping women? Have you seen the beautiful twice girls feeling each other up? They could be so shippable too. But no, it's only men that get shipped with each other because straight women are attracted to men, and they want or have romantic relationships with men. Seeing themselves as part of a girl/girl ship makes no sense because they don't have romantic idealizations about other women.

I've heard about those shipping "tendencies" in se Asian countries. If they don't like the actual couple, because their idea of love is different, and they think A and B don't have as much chemistry as A + C, well... Imagination is free.

Sometimes I guess it gets more personal and it's just not enough to daydream about finding that perfect guy, so ships are a great medium to somehow see that fantasy come to live.

Like??? You look at this and they look so happy and comfortable with each other. Is it really wrong to wish for something like that? Is it really a condemnable act to see love here and other hundred of similar moments? It's not.

(I really would be besties with taekookers if they hadn't messed with Jimin in the first place).

All across the board, I really see a lot of people just using the ships as vessels to materialize their own romantic ideals. And like yeah, taekookers have taken that to a pathological level, but it happens with all BTS ships. They want their ship to want each other because it is what they would want for themselves. The amount of times I've seen comments that go like

- Jungkook wouldn't want Jimin because he's ugly but Taehyung is beautiful so he wants Tae

- How can Jimin resist himself around this hot sexy talented man like Jungkook?!

- Jimin is so nice, how could Jungkook not want to fuck him in the ass???

Projection at its best 😭

The "how could A not want to do this which I would totally do if I were him?"

The "I want what they have!" like that's a thing people literally say all the time and they mean ittttt.

The "I wish someone would look at me like that"

There's just so much projection and putting personal feelings and aspirations onto BTS.

Just because shippers think something sounded flirty or romantic, it doesn't actually mean that BTS themselves interpreted it the same.

Overall there's nothing wrong in anything that I've said. Imagination is a good thing and people can fantasize about a non existent romantic life all they want. There's nothing wrong to "want that for themselves" as long as they are aware of that brain process. I'm actually understanding of the whole thing because I sometimes fall into the daydreaming too but I know that it's just that, imagination. I don't try to hold my fantasy together with theories and excuses if I see that reality is denying what I initially believed to be true.

It's not sane to take that into real life and hate a real life person as if they were actively part of your fantasy. Taekookers have completely integrated Jimin into their personal love story. Taekook only exists as long as Jimin is not in the picture. They literally took Jimin and said "he's the one getting in between and ruining the perfect little family that I created with taekook in my head". How is it that Namjoon and Taehyung also commented on Jungkook's lives, and they were all very sweet and interactive, but Jimin doing the same was a problem?

Maybe in those regions of the world these shippers are impacted by social issues more than other people, simply because of general culture and understanding of romantic relationships, and the more they feel something precious to them is being threatened, the more dangerous they become. Simply because if they don't have that beautiful thing, they don't have anything else.

[sillylovingpupper]

First off all, thank you! I was looking everywhere for this post. Second of all, it's...yeah. Knowing what I do of Rowlings history, I get it, but like.

She chose to write Voldemort as being the product of rape, and make that the central point of conflict in the books. Taken by itself, it's actually an interesting approach to take, especially since female-on-male rape is so rarely examined, but it's kind of a shallow and disturbing read. Voldemort, according to Rowling, couldn't be anything but evil because of being born of rape. And taken in conjunction with the way that she writes her working women, and the loving way that she writes Snape coveting Lily Potter (and the fact that Lily for some god-awful reason chose James 'I'm a bully' Potter who reformed at the age of 17 for no other reason than Rowling needed him to be a heroic father), and you start to get a very clear view of Rowling's state of mind: The best thing a woman can be is married and lovingly devoted to her husband. I would go so far as to say that Rowling has a level of internalized misogyny, quite possibly as a result of trauma.

One of the biggest non irl related sins of Harry Potter was spending the Longest Book in the entire series showing how fucking angry and unbalanced Harry Potter, our titular character, is because of witnessing a boy die the year before.

And then having him date the girl who used to date the boy who died...and then spending the whole book mocking her for HER emotions.

Like what the fuck was that.

Oh I'm allowed to shriek at my friends for an entire book, to the point where there are literally pages and pages of caps lock, but the girl whose boyfriend DIED THREE MONTHS AGO...

Hahahaha she's a human hosepipe. Hahahah she's sad all the time. That's a good one. Wonder why she's so sad?

Girls cry, and it's funny, amirite?

Now let me go back to screeching at my friends.

Like it's even worse because he knew Cedric.

It would be terrible if he was dismissive about the death of a boy he didn't know, but he was friends with cedric at least a little.

Why the fuck would a boy who's supposed to be nice be such a fucking asshole to his girlfriend, who is grieving someone...that he literally watched die?

What a fucking joke.

Jk Rowling's rampant misogyny is ironic in the face of her current terfism.

She's so pro women that she views girls who cry as pathetic weaklings who should just get over it, but boys who scream are actually so strong and cool.

Fuck off.

[skepticalarrie]

Hi Allie! I'm really sorry to be bringing an unpleasant topic up again but do u see how Jake gyllenhaal ( is that how u spell it?) Is being trolled everywhere with the re-release of RED album by Taylor Swift? Idk if u know it but she has a song All Too Well which is widely accepted to be about Jake and she just released it's 10 min version and a short film. He is being trolled EVERYWHERE for a relationship from almost a decade ago. I'm already dreading about the inevitable shitshow when she re-releases 1989.

An even more frustrating thing is that all too well cannot even be about Jake (as some swifties with a few braincells proved) but Taylor puts a few things here and there and bam! Jake G has to live through uncontrollable bashing everytime that song is brought up when that relationship was probably a pr stunt. The exact same thing is going to happen with Harry. Although I don't think he's going to be trolled like this coz he's one of the exes that her fans 'approve'(!).

And before anybody says the word 'misogyny', it's not the fact that she is writing songs about her exes or about love and heartbreak, it's because she very openly and clearly ties them to her famous ex boyfriends who have their own careers over and over again that's wrong. And then she preaches about feminism. And her fans keep saying that she is always reduced to her exes when they can't let go of her gazillion fake relationships.

Haylor was one of the worst bearding/ pr stunt and its gonna come back from the dead every 2 months when Taylor or her fans decide and poor Harry and Louis (and us) will always be at the recieving end. And I hate it.

Oh it's going to be horrible. We're going to have a taste of haylor back WHILE holivia is happening, it's a fucking nightmare.

Listen... I have a lot of thoughts on Taylor, I think she's an amazing artist but this thing with getting publicity from her exes never sits right with me, I can't admire her as a person. And it's upsetting because it's all so fucked up. The industry is already so hard with women, there's so much misogyny involved, so I understand the use of stunts or whatever she needs for publicity, like.. go for it, you need to play the game in this industry. I'm not here to defend guys getting bashed because they fucked a girl over. But when she starts to create the same storyline over and over, always relying on the exes, fake relationship after fake relationship... yes, it does sound extremely hypocritical of her wanting to come across this strong feminist artist. And then when she starts using other people in unfair positions too (like closeted guys needing to reaffirm their sexuality publicly) is when everything gets extremely fucked up. Harry came out of haylor as a fucking cheater just so they could create an entire scandal and write songs about it for years. So yeah, it's going to be pretty awful.

[omgsomeonesomewhereonearth]

I don't know how to articulate this without seeming quite mean, but I feel like a lot of discourse (for want of a better term) on this site lately is veering into "not all men" territory?

Like, do we need to explain again that women know fully well that "not all men" are awful people?

Like, yeah, I get that it might be upsetting to be a man and constantly see "men are trash" posts everywhere, but you have to realise that that...comes from somewhere?

I myself have been trying to use those jokes less specifically because I'm not trying to hurt ppl, and sometimes, I agree that it does go too far, but...

Idk, I'm seeing people say shit like "imagine if men were going around talking about how much they hate women all the time", and...do you think they aren't? Do you honestly believe that we live in a society where men aren't being openly sexist constantly?

People comparing "misandry" to misogyny when one is actually like, a structural, systemic, oppression that affects people's daily lives whilst the other is at most hurtful, feels to me a little like white people who complain about "reverse racism". (And I believe that as a woc I can make that comparison)

And some of the jokes do irritate me as well, but, again, you have to realise they don't come out of nowhere?

No woman is waking up everyday thinking "I'm gonna hate men for no reason at all!". A lot of the times it is genuinely a coping mechanism for living in a society that consistently favours (cis, het) men over us.

I don't even know where I'm going with this. Like, I get that it might hurt some men's feelings, but idk, the majority of the time it feels like venting to me.

Not always, ofcourse. I know that a lot of the jokes are honestly unnecessarily malicious. And I would like to acknowledge that they can be hurtful to trans men, who do not have the same power over women, especially over cis women, as cis men do.

I don't want to minimise any of that.

I dunno, I guess I'm just conflicted? Other people feel free to chime in with your opinion on this, because I'm not trying to be like, mean or anything.

I just have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the new takes I'm seeing which generally stsrt by pointing out very true and important stuff about the problems that a lot of men face, but then always end up boiling down to "actually if you ever complain about men you're a misandrist and an awful person who's probably also secretly a terf."

[ltleflrt]

So I was having a conversation on Discord about omegaverse tonight, and my brain won’t shut up about it, because as usual I come up with my arguments after the discussion is over.  I should have been asleep 3 hours ago, but it’s hot and I can’t unwind, so I’m going to stay up EVEN LATER while the a/c brings things down a few degrees, and I try to get these thoughts out of my head.

I was pro-omegaverse, and trying to explain why *I personally* like the genre, and why I think even with it’s problematic origins and frequently used elements, it’s still a cool genre.  I was essentially having 2 discussions, but they were both using my answers to their questions, even though I was usually addressing them 1 at a time.  That happens when you’re in a Discord chat, and I wasn’t @ing my answers to them, since we were all in the room together.  And I think that cunfuddled the discussion and my thoughts.  So here’s a breakdown.

Issue 1. Biological Essentialism is gross and rapey.

Answer:  Yes, it is.  But so what?  Some people like pure rape-fantasy.  Is it healthy?  That can be argued either way, and it definitely depends on the person writing, or the person reading.  People like gross and rapey stories to get their rocks off.  Whether we like non-con or not, rape fics should be allowed to exist because some people like it.  It doesn’t matter if I think their reasons are valid.  As long as they’re not actively trying to harm someone, let people get down and dirty with their rapey fantasies.

Also, the whole biological imperative to mate isn’t that far off from Soulmate AUs.  Truemates = Soulmates.  Whether we like Soulmate AUs or not, are we also arguing that they shouldn’t exist because they’re problematic?  No, we’re not.  Soulmate AUs are romantic for a lot of people.  Let people have their uncomplicated, fluffy, 1 Destined Love stories.

Something to keep in mind though, is that not all omegaverse fics use the true mate trope.  And quite a lot of fics have characters with a lot more self control during their mating cycles than what you’d find in the short smutty one shots.  It’s common for them to avoid each other during heats, and only share their mating cycle as an act of love, trust, and devotion.  After they’ve been dating for a while.  (I love it when the alpha brings over snacks and water for the omega, and immediately hightails it out of there once they get a whiff of their sexy love interest.  “Take care of yourself, text me when you feel better, loveyoubye! *nyoooom*”)

Issue 2. It’s transphobic.

Answer:  This one is harder to argue, because yeah.  It can be.  But so can non-omegaverse.  Transphobia is, unfortunately, everywhere.  Exploring human gender through non-human gendered beings isn’t a bad thing though.  Cis people should be allowed to explore those things too.  This is step 1 to fighting the Patriarchy.  Questioning it.  Someone may come out of the experience still cis, but they’re going to be more open minded to trans people.  Not to mention, all the trans and enby folks who probably figured themselves out through the gender exploration to be found in omegaverse.

Now, if someone’s into omegaverse and they tell you they won’t read a story about a trans character?  Red flag.

Personally, I like the gender exploration in omegaverse.  Not just in the hormonal stuff, although I do kinda love the idea of seeing cis male characters suffer cramps once a month lol... but I like the stuff about social inequality that women have to go through mapped onto a male character.

I brought this up in the chat, and my use of the term “women’s issues” raised a terfy flag I think, which upset me and made it harder to make my point.  Cuz if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s terfy.  But I do see women’s issues as also trans issues.  Trans Men are treated differently after they start to present as male.  There’s a marked difference between their treatment as a woman pre-transition, and as a man afterwards.  And they still have to be really careful about accidental pregnancy.  I cannot fathom how awful the dysphoria would be for them if they get pregnant.  Trans Women are treated horribly pre-transition if they give any hint of feminine interests.  There’s a reason “girly” is an insult, and it’s because Toxic Masculinity Is The Worst.  And then when they transition?  Hooooboy, gods bless those ladies because Trans Women are treated worse than Cis Women on the social pyramid.  And Enbies?  Oh you sweet things, how the hell do you deal with the rest of us bastards? 

When I say that I am interested in seeing the characters I like deal with women’s issues, I am talking about social inequality, not just periods and cramps (although that a little bit too, because I wish a cis man could just fucking UNDERSTAND why I need a goddamn nap okay? lol), but also sexual health rights, including birth control, including the right to choose whether or not to take hormones, the right to equal pay, the right to equal education.  Feminism, for me, includes trans and enby folks at the table. 

But anyway, the characters I like right now just happen to be men.  I see Dean as a man.  That could mean he’s a trans man too, because trans men are men, yo.  Castiel I see either as a man or non-binary.  So if I want to put them through “women’s issues”, I have to plunk them in a special universe for that.  No one is writing Matriarchy AUs, so Omegaverse it is!

(Side note: If my OTP were f/f, I’d still like omegaverse.  And I could see lots of interesting ways to use all those same tropes for 2 female presenting characters.  So it has nothing to do with genitalia.  Unless it’s smut.  But I swing all the ways, so still not an issue for me lol)

(Side note part deux: I like to read trans stories too.  They have unique things about them that cannot be found in stories about cis characters, even in omegaverse.  And when I see Dean and Cas as men or enby, I’m not putting down people who like them gender flipped.  I just see myself enjoying Trans Woman Claire dating Enby Kaia, more than I’d like to see Dean or Cas written as cis/trans-women.)

Issue 3.  Internalized misogyny!

Answer: This is an argument used against women shipping m/m in general, and has nothing to do with omegaverse.  It just so happens that omegaverse was created for m/m pairings.  But there are TONS of reasons we ship more m/m than any other pairings, ranging from those are the most interesting characters presented to us, to--yes--internalized misogyny.  But I’m tired of that one.  Internalized misogyny is rampant, and telling women that their fantasies are problematic isn’t going to cure them.  There’s better ways to go about it. 

Omegaverse now covers m/f and f/f pairings as well, sooooo... yeah, this one just doesn’t hold water like it used to.  We just need to yoink the media out of the hands of the cis-men who are mostly in charge, and make them give us more compelling women to ship.

Issue 4: That’s not how human bodies work.

Answer: They’re not human lol!  Okay but real talk here.  This issue actually sounds transphobic to me, because it strikes very close to the XX vs XY chromosomes argument.  Omegaverse characters have intersex variations.  Alpha females and Omega males can have both a penis and a vagina in some fics.  It depends on how the author wants to write it, of course.  I usually go with the (horrifying) cloaca for omega males, and the (hyena inspired) psueudo-penis for alpha females instead, but to each writer their own lol

But again... not human.  Let wet buttholes be a thing, lube is expensive and sometimes the bottle gets tangled in the sheets, and you have to stop what you’re doing to find it and... anyway, convenience in fantasy sex is nice lol

In Conclusion: 

Personally, I only like non-traditional omegaverse.  The stuff that subverts the “problematic” tropes.  I was asked what I liked about the genre, and when I explained, it devolved into discussion of the topics above.  But I think what was forgotten in that discussion, was that I kept saying I don’t like the “problematic” things.  I like flipping the tropes.  Which I like in general, when I’m looking for things to read.  I mean, how many Castiel Thinks He’s Straight fics are there?  Not many!  So I wrote one!  Because flipping tropes is my jam! 

I don’t like Soulmate AUs, but with the proper twist I can still enjoy it.  I don’t like Highschool AUs, but I’ve read some that touched me so deeply I still think of them years later.  There’s always someone subverting the tropes I don’t like and turning them into something I do like.

And yet even though I kept saying I liked the subversion of the genre, the discussion kept coming back around to the parts of omegaverse that I *don’t* like.  I will still defend anyone’s right to like the parts of it that aren’t for me though, so I argued away XD

And? Sometimes I like the dark problematic stuff when I’m in the mood to get my rocks off.  Don’t judge, you’re all a little weird in some way or another ;D

Anywho, now that I got this stuff off my chest, hopefully I can sleep.  It has also cooled down by like 4 degrees, and I no longer feel like I’m going to melt in my sleep.  Tomorrow is going to suck, because I have to get up in 5 hours.  Yay!

[hecohansen31]

The Perks Of The Bush

Modern! Ivar+Tinder Date! Reader

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

Lately I know that I have been awfully annoying, and again... it isn’t an easy week this one, so I wanted to publish something more to make up for it and brighten your mood.

This is honestly a crack fight, about something that sadly all us girls go through so I thought it’d be a cute idea to post and brighten the mood.

Also this was inspired by an ask I saw answered on @laketaj24​ about Vikings being scared or not by the hair ‘down there’, so I just wanted to give her credit and now I’ll shut up and leave you to read this!

WARNINGS: Sex, Oral Sex (Female Receving), Internalized Misogyny and Prejudices, Talk of Pubic Hair.

Being a girl was a constant pain in the ass.

Not only you were paid less than men and you had to deal with a culture in which rape jokes were considered funny, but you were also held to incredible high standards to satisfy.

And one of this was for your skin to be soft and shaven like the a child’s one.

No hair should be left on any part of your body, although it was much more natural than clean shaven and helped from infections and such.

And worst of all, whereas you had to be perfectly cured, men could literally appear everywhere with uncured beards, chest-hair and worst of all… pubic hair that hadn’t seen a drop of water in years.

And yet, you had to be the perfect one.

And you didn’t mind it, you had always liked to keep yourself clean, appreciating the feeling of shaven legs, also because it was much easier than everything else, with the use of creams and a razor.

But the thing between your legs was another question.

A bigger problem.

Meanwhile you had dealt the entirety of your life as a single girl with your razor, hoping that the bikini bottom you had chosen would cover everything else, because… Gosh wouldn’t it have been a tragedy for a man to see a pubic hair?

Hadn’t they been born in the same state.

But as soon as you had gotten a boyfriend and started fooling around, the thing between your legs had to be clean-shaven and thankfully Elaine, your best friend, was quite handy with wax and, although it hurt like a bitch, you always made sure to keep yourself ‘clean’ for your rendez-vous.

Just for most time to be left unsatisfied because they either were as big as a peanut down there or they didn’t know what a clitoris was.

So, slowly you had allowed yourself to become quite ‘wild’ down there, not interested enough in anyone.

Till you had met Ivar.

And you had gladly put yourself through the torture of the wax again, because your newest boyfriend was a literal god with his tongue, not to talk about his reanimated member…

… definitely not the size of a peanut.

But yet, waxing and such wasn’t something that you were handy in doing on your own, ending up relying on someone else, either a beautician or Elaine, and this week you had an appointment with the latter, but sadly Elaine had cancelled it at the last moment.

Apparently, she had gotten a last-minute date.

‘He is a hunk’ she had spoken excited with you, as she got herself ready for a date.

‘Yeah, but… Elaine… I honestly need a waxing… you have no idea the situation I have down there’ and the situation in which your relationship with Ivar was.

It had been three weeks since the last time you had had sex, him busy with his own things at work and you insecure about your bush down there “… can’t you reprogram the date?’.

‘Said from the one who left me for a stranger…’ mumbled pointedly Elaine, before sweetening the tone ‘… I won’t be able to sadly do anything before the weekend, but I’ll have a spot for you, for sure!’.

And like that the line had gone dead, and you had been left wondering whether you should attempt to shave your entire ‘bush’ or hope that it’d magically disappear.

But as you hadn’t taken a choice, you heard the door opening signaling that Ivar was back, and you were met with a dark stare of lust as he caught you in your most discarded state of mind, still in your pajama and with your hair in a messy bun.

And it wasn’t that you didn’t want to have sex with him.

In fact, you felt a wave of warmth as he immediately came over to you to drop a small kiss on your lips, languid and teasing, as he molded softly his lips against yours, before retreating softly, as he caressed your lips with his, before separating as his hands moved lower.

And you stopped them.

You felt damnably insecure of letting them see you in such a state, mostly because of the prejudices you had made your own about not shaving and your own ‘bush’.

Maybe Ivar would be disgusted, he’d probably think that it was a sign of bad hygiene.

God only knew how much he liked keeping everything neat…

‘… I think we need to talk’ he mumbled softly, as he retreated lightly and you breathed out heavily, aware that sexuality wasn’t something he was comfortable with and to be straight up rejected like that was making him overthink the entire situation.

“Ivar it isn’t you…”.

“But it’s me, right?” his voice was more aggressive than you liked so you just sent a look on his way to tell him to ‘tone it down’ “… I am… sorry, but I just can’t believe you… is sex with me… awful?”.

“No no!” you immediately denied, coming closer to him, as you both sat down on the sofa, touching his chest gently and made sure to hold eye-contact, something that never failed to make Ivar understand you were speaking truthfully “… the sex with you is amazing… Gosh even better than I thought it was possible…”.

“Then why do you keep on denying me?” frustration was evident in Ivar’s tone, although he was trying to keep calm “… because if it isn’t awful… then…”.

“I haven’t shaved in three weeks down there” you mumbled softly, completely disrupting whatever Ivar was going to add, as he was left with his mouth open and confused, almost as if he was trying to piece together what you had just said, before closing his mouth and opening it again.

“… and that is the reason why you don’t want to have sex?” and as you nodded slowly, he erupted in laughter “… Gosh, sweetheart, I don’t care”:

“Ivar…” you tried not to whack him across the face “… the situation is bad… like bad”.

“… again… babe… it isn’t a problem” now he didn’t have that teasing tone anymore, dead serious, as a hand shot out to one of yours “… I don’t… I don’t think that it’d make me feel less attracted to you”.

“As much as I appreciate it, Ivar” you mumbled pushing him slightly away “… you don’t know the situation”.

“Then let me see” now that awful damned smirk was back on his face and you couldn’t help but blush lightly “… c’mon it isn’t anything that I haven’t seen before!”.

“… stop being a smartass” you huffed out, lightly.

“And you stop denying me that precious thing between your legs” he contrasted you, and this time you did deliver a light whack across his chest “… babe, I know that you want it… and you shouldn’t be that insecure, you are the only one for whom I can get it up… quite literally”.

“You are awful” you commented, but still raised up and lowered lightly your panties and pants to let him see as you closed your eyes, lightly, worried about his judgement and as you were met with only silence, you almost thought that in the end he was disgusted, like all the others.

But then his hands gently got your pants and panties lower, as they pushed you closer to him, till his head could nestle between your legs, making you moan out at the first flick of his tongue and finally your eyes opened to see an extremely focused Ivar, quickly slithering his tongue between your legs.

And your hands almost as if it was second nature to you, grabbed onto his sleek hair to bring him closer.

He kept up his ministrations, his gaze completely unchanged by the other times he had done the same when the nest between your legs was solely sleek.

As if he didn’t seem to find any difference.

And you were glad.

Once everything was finished, multiple rounds later, because not having sex for three weeks brought out every frustration of you both, Ivar brought you closer as you softly mumbled into him, tired after all the ‘physical activity’ and mumbled.

‘… I am not saying that you shouldn’t shave it…” he whispered, as you giggled ‘…but I certainly don’t mind the bush, it’s actually cute”.

Well, apparently, also the ‘bush’ had its perks.

----

@youbloodymadgenius​ @alexhandersenx​ @peaceisadirtyword​ @madamaholmes​ @flowers-in @ justananotherlazzyperson  @ thespottedcreature  @ amy8220  @peakygroupie​ @ where-are-you-everywhere  @emmyrosee​ @crys-1029​ @avengers-fixation​ @ bagpipes606 @mac5323​ @ serafina21 @lost-soul-was-taken​

[dabistits]

im super conflicted abt hawks atm but i was thinking abt his parallels with shigaraki and i was wondering kinda why there's a difference between wanting 'redemption' (i dont think this is the right word but i cant think of a better one 'want better' maybe?) for shigaraki but not for hawks? is it bc he made a permanent decision to kill twice as essentially an agent of the state?

Just to preface, I don’t think I’m objectively right for just wanting Hawks to eat shit immediately in the next chapter. I’m just complaining because a lot of people who “love both Hawks and Twice” and “think Hawks was wrong, but…” are hard to get away from without going in the other direction toward a group of people who have shitty fandom behavior, whose opinions about the Hawks/Twice situation are (unfortunately) much closer to my own. I don’t think there’s necessarily a “correct” way to feel about Hawks, but I feel differently than a lot of people I see around (who, ironically, are the ones insisting that there’s a “correct” way to feel about Hawks), and that’s frustrating. I want to be done with Hawks. I don’t want him to get any more focus in canon, I don’t want to see more posts about how Hawks committing murder is an indication of inner turmoil instead of him choosing a side, I don’t want to keep running into posts that tack on “but Hawks is also sad/a victim” in discussing what’s pretty clearly a tragedy for Jin and the LOV that Hawks was completely and 100% solely responsible for.

But, yeah, sure. I’ll also explain what I think is the difference between Tomura and Hawks:

1. Part of it is emotional and not logical for sure. I love Jin a lot. He embodies the person who has faced incredible adversity, and still comes out on the other side ready to love and open his heart to others, moreover to protect others. I’m not like that at all, but I think it’s very admirable. So in that sense, it hurts on a personal level to lose him over anyone else, and I can’t not associate that with Hawks, since he’s the killer.

2. Jin is a significant death. The nameless minions that Tomura has killed (many of whom were active “Quirk supremacists”) don’t mean anything to me compared to Jin, and?? Through the lens of narrative, I think that makes Tomura more forgivable, because I genuinely have no interest in there being any plot “resolution” with, like, the dead anti-mutant cultists, because I just do not care about them.

3. Tomura, especially early Tomura, has threatened to go places that are unforgivable, like leaving All Might’s students dead and forcibly bringing Bakugou over to their side (whatever terrible procedure that may have entailed). The difference is that the narrative never actually allowed him to cross that line by actually killing the kids, who we do care about as characters, so while the intent in itself is pretty awful, he was never allowed to complete the action that would take him over to the point of no return. Hawks, however, did cross the line by killing someone who we care about and who is narratively established as a “good person,” who even Hawks concedes is a good person.

3. a. I don’t like the MLA ideologically and I don’t like the decision to have the LOV team up with them. But, again, their takeover plan has been stopped in its tracks, which I’m actually fine with to prevent the LOV from crossing the moral event horizon, but that’s, like… completely irrelevant to me thinking Hawks shouldn’t have killed Jin.

3. b. Though there’s still a chance for Tomura to cross the moral event horizon, and I’m not going to convince myself that it won’t happen. If it’s going to happen, I think it’s highly possible that it might happen in this arc, because now Jin is dead and we know how Tomura and the LOV have historically responded to their friends getting hurt. I, and many others, have called Jin the “heart” of the LOV (his name is also literally written with the kanji for “benevolence”), and now without him, there is no remaining heart nor goodwill.

4. Although both Tomura and Hawks are, on one level, fighting on behalf of the ideals that they were “raised into,” their fights happen in very different ways. The MLA arc in particular made clear that the villains are, in part, fighting for their very survival in ways heroes just aren’t. The threat that the LOV were living under was constant—when it wasn’t heroes or other villain groups, it was trying to find money and shelter and essential upkeep. Hawks may not be “free” from the HPSC or the occasional villain attack, but he’s free from those constant material struggles. He’s not an “underdog.” 

4. a. Tomura is also, in part, fighting to protect his marginalized friends. It’s for sure not on behalf of every marginalized person, but it’s certainly more than we’ve seen any pro hero fight for. The people Tomura is surrounded with are people who have never been protected nor cared for before, because they were not deemed “innocent” enough to deserve that care and protection, and Tomura continued to care for them even when it was troublesome for him to do so, when they disagreed with him, when they threatened him, and when they fucked up very, very badly. 

4. a. i. Eri is an example of a victim who the heroes fought for, but she’s an easy case to want to love and protect: Overhaul was inarguably an abuser who wanted to elevate the yakuza, she was being used in extended torture-experiment sessions, she killed her father on accident, she’s a child, she’s innocent, she’s selfless, she’s well-behaved. It’s basically not even a question whether or not she “deserves” help.

4. b. It’s people who are difficult who get overlooked. Hawks and hero society are completely unprepared to protect and care for people who don’t behave as they’re supposed to. Hawks did not care for the LOV who didn’t personally befriend him. For the one he did, when Jin didn’t cooperate the way Hawks wanted, he went for the kill. It’s either being easy and “manageable,” or die.

4. b. i. Tomura has specifically spared two people who tried to kill him or actually succeeded in killing his ally, people who he explicitly hated or did not care for. So make of that what you will, I guess.

5. From a leftist perspective, it’s just impossible not to account for the fact that Hawks helps maintain a social structure that creates so much suffering. The question isn’t really whether AFO’s teachings to Tomura are better (they’re not, and I want Tomura to break away from them), but it can’t really be ignored that Hawks is enforcing an ideal that’s wildly popular. Why this matters is that Tomura doing the wrong things will be roundly condemned, and he’ll probably be “punished” for them; but heroes are very unlikely to be punished or held accountable for committing murder, especially if it’s “justified.” 

5. a. This is problematic because it allows heroes, and the state, to define what a justified “emergency situation” is, and who can die in those emergencies. The people who are deemed killable “in an emergency” are usually those who are already marginalized; hence heroes can wait until those marginalized people get desperate enough to commit villainous acts, and then they can swoop in to arrest or kill them to widespread public acclaim.

5. b. Heroes (and law enforcement IRL) don’t address the roots of crime that lie in overarching oppressive structures like misogyny and capitalism. They don’t prevent theft by bringing people financial stability; they arrest people who were desperate enough to steal, and use those people to send a message to poor people everywhere. They make these conditions of desperation more permanent by punishing the most vulnerable people when they slip up, while doing absolutely nothing until the slip-up happens.

5. c. Heroes are punching down, and villains are punching up. That may not be the case with AFO, but I believe it with the LOV specifically, and I believe this matters because it’s exemplified between Hawks and Twice. Hawks targets someone who reached out to him, despite being hurt over and over again by types like him, who has dealt with poverty and fantasy mentally illness completely on his own, and kills him in defense of the very society that allowed all those things to happen to Jin. Hawks was given a choice: sympathize and relate to Jin, and acknowledge his well-founded grievances toward a dysfunctional society, or prioritize the safety and security of that dysfunctional society by permanently removing Jin from the equation. The choice he believes in is the choice he made.

5. d. In order for Tomura to make the same choice with the same implications, they’d have to be living in an alternate universe, in the Kingdom of AFO, where Tomura is a respected noble who infiltrates a rebel group who were going to “commit atrocities,” kills the one person who offered him a way out of AFO’s control, and possibly screws the rebels altogether, but everyone is happy that the rebels are gone. Even if you think Tomura is capable of that, it’s irrelevant because canon!BNHA has completely different power dynamics. Because Tomura’s violence will always be unpopular and persecuted, rather than justified and glorified by the state, he physically cannot replicate a choice like Hawks’. Tomura can approximate it, but even if he does, he’ll be hunted down by heroes for doing so. The circumstances and consequences for making such a choice are totally different.

So. That’s why I don’t think Tomura and Hawks can be equated. Suggesting that this is a level playing field is essentially believing that criminals and law enforcement exist on level playing fields, and they absolutely do not at all. Hawks is particularly abhorrent because he’s already followed through with his choice. He holds power by being part of the policing class, and regardless of how he came into it, he behaves exactly the same as everyone else who “freely” joined, and in his position of power he made the choice to eliminate someone who was socially powerless.

[whatelsecanwedonow]

What do you feel about the hate TLOU 2 is getting? It's really disgusting the hate that the voice actors are getting. Laura the most. :-/ I've enjoyed it so far and I don't know how people can get so angry.

Well, first, the hate that Laura is taking is fucking disgusting. If you’re on Twitter I’d still encourage you to send some nice words and thoughts her way. Even if she never sees your message specifically, adding to the sheer volume of love and encouragement she’s getting to counterbalance the abuse can only help.

I’m just a dope with an opinion so feel free to disagree, but I think in this case there are multiple problems colliding over one piece of media. Which probably speaks to the greatness of TLOU2. One I see is entitlement in fandom and the inability of some to process storytelling that isn’t in line with their expectations. Two is the inability/unwillingness for certain people to think critically and understand complex storytelling. And three is straight up misogyny. Which is especially... I don’t want to say prevalent in gaming, because it’s prevalent everywhere, but it’s especially loud in gaming culture. Dudes don’t even try to be subtle. Laura voices/moves like a fictional ripped woman who brutally murders another fictional character who is a white guy, that has been anointed as a Hero™ by people who I don’t think are really processing the first game correctly, and then this game “doesn’t let you” kill that woman. That part really follows a well established narrative from the pissbaby brigade. Guys who jerk it three times a day to Ben Shapiro acting like they’ve got a week old diaper strapped to their ass screaming on the world wide web at women. It’s awful and they’re always looking for new targets.

Back to the first problem, the outrage from some people reminds me exactly of the outrage from some over Endgame and TLJ. I’m talking about the people who are like FUCK THE RUSSOS I HOPE THEY DIE b/c Tony shouldn’t have died/Nat shouldn’t have died/Steve would never leave Bucky... and the “Rian Johnson destroyed my entire childhood” people. If you dislike choice(s) made, that’s your opinion and it’s fine, but you have absolutely no ownership over a fictional character/universe/story whatever. You have zero leg to stand on by saying “I love X character and they’d NEVER DO THIS” because... they did literally do that. And not only did the director/writer decide this it’s quite possible the person who plays this fake person was like “yeah let’s go I love this decision.” Troy and Neil said in an interview about Joel specifically, they promise that no matter how much you love that character, they love him more. Because they made that character. You have no right to have a headcanon come true, no matter how much you think it makes sense or how much it works for you. I don’t know how anyone could have ever thought this was going to be Ellie and Joel Ride Again, but their reaction to not getting that game tells me exactly what sort of people they are. Again, if you disagree and can’t accept the story as it unfolds, if it reaches a certain point and you’re out, that’s cool. But you have to realize what’s worth getting heated over and what isn’t. If you’re disappointed, that’s okay I think, but just disengage and watch/read/play something else.

And the second problem, video games never, ever try to tackle narratives like this. At least not ones I’m familiar with. This is a really immature medium to tell a story like this, although I think it’s a medium where they can be powerful in ways they’ve rarely (or never?) been before because of the level of immersion. There’s a lot that they’re saying with these stories and I’m so deeply touched by them. I think they’re making really profound points. And, also, I’m deeply attached to characters, I have my own loves and headcanons for characters, all that, I’m not saying I don’t participate in fandom. Clearly, I’m on Tumblr, I do. And parts of TLOU2 didn’t just make me uncomfortable they make me feel physically ill, lol, and were really upsetting. But the greater narrative was aided by that. You have to love it all selflessly and look for what the creators are trying to get across. It’s insanely grey, complicated storytelling. There’s a high bar set for the maturity required to really digest what’s going on. The Last of Us isn’t here to only fill you with good feelings. It will sometimes, but the good feelings aren’t the whole point. And because of that, because of what video games normally are, people are resistant.

Last thing I’ll say is for the people specifically who can’t accept that Ellie doesn’t murder Abby. It’s astounding that they can’t see the story in TLOU2 is actually, entirely, holding a mirror to them. It’s telling on them. It’s astounding a game has SHOWN YOU TO BE someone who isn’t like Ellie ultimately becomes, who can’t resist the temptation of violence/hate and see the lonely pit of misery it is. You missed how when Ellie goes on a murder spree, it doesn’t help. You missed how when Abby violently murdered the man who killed her father, it doesn’t help. Violence will hollow you out and leave you for dead. Love, embracing empathy, that’s the map that will lead you to salvation/redemption. So when I see the circle jerk discussions of going back to TLOU1 and roasting Abby’s father alive with a flamethrower, and I see the real life threats being thrown at ND people, it just proves to me that certain people need help. Or they’re lost and don’t ever want to be found. Festering in your anger isn’t going to change anything and it isn’t going to help. That’s the whole fucking point.

[wroughtbetwixtfanfic]

Wheels Set In Motion, Ch 1.

Fandom: The Society.

Summary: As the situation in New Ham takes a dark, mysterious turn, Campbell is faced with a threat he never saw coming. With few allies and the past coming back to haunt him, he is forced to deal with a world that is crumbling fast, and choices with grim consequences.

Rating: Explicit.

Tags: Minor Character Death, Canon Divergence, Mental Health Issues, Addiction Recovery, Unhealthy Relationships, Teen Pregnancy, Past Rape/Non-con, Campbell Isn't The Dad, Brother Feels, Attempted Murder, Supernatural Elements, Gay Sex, Resolved Sexual Tension, Campbell has mild ASPD and is actively trying to not be awful

Word Count: 5654

Part Three || Ch 2 || Ch 3 || Ch 4 || Ch 5 || AO3

A day passed, then two. Grizz was gracious enough to take care of Campbell. He kept an eye on him when he could, making sure to let him have time to go to the bathroom, stretch, get food and water, and he gave Campbell a pillow to lean his head on at night. Luke and Clark took shifts when Grizz needed a break, and they were far less accommodating. They put water inches away from where he could reach, laughing while watching him struggle.

"Knock it off," Grizz snapped when he saw it happen. That was the last time they tried it. "Christ. I'm sorry." Campbell fought against the burning, sharp feeling in his chest. "It's whatever. They just need some way to feel powerful. Fucking wimps." Grizz didn't argue. Day two oozed by, and Campbell's shoulder had gone from aching, to throbbing and painful, to numb. His legs cramped and he was dizzy from a lack of sleep. Thankfully, Allie decided to visit him that evening. For a moment, Campbell had hope that she was letting him free; that hope evaporated when he saw the look in her eyes. "Allie, it's been days. Is all this really necessary?" he still tried, jiggling the handcuff. "Just uncuff me and lock the door or whatever. I'm not gonna jump out the window." Sitting on the bed, Allie shrugged. "Maybe." "I'm going to get pressure sores or something." "Yeah. That's what we should be worried about." "It is. I had nothing to do with killing Cassandra." "That's all you have to say?" Campbell gave an exasperated groan. "What else is there? Goddamn it, Allie, this is ridiculous. Your sister and I were cousins. Family. We were friends." He gestured to the air. "Besides, what do you expect? Huh? I can't prove it didn't happen. Can he prove it did?" "I can't tell you that." "I've barely spoken to Dewey our whole lives. Harry doesn't even like him, not that I can remember, anyways. He's always been a fucking asshole who just hangs around for scraps." "Then why did he accuse you?" "Are you really that fucking dense? You know my reputation." Oh, she knew his reputation all too well. Allie's eyes blinked a little too fast. A nervous response. "Answer the question." "I was the most obvious pick. It was a desperate move. You asked him if he had help, didn't you?" Campbell leaned back against the radiator. Allie wasn't as outwardly icy as Cassandra, but she was equally ruthless. It was hidden under the surface, waiting for just enough power to roar to life. "What did you promise him if he named names? What did you say would happen, if he didn't?" "That has nothing to do with--" "It has everything to do with it. People will tell you anything if they think their life is in danger. Big fucking duh." "I need to know what happened that night. Just tell me." "He killed her. It's that simple." "Alone? Because I don't think so." Allie leaned forward. "If not you, then Harry." Campbell snorted. "Harry? No, no." "Then who?" "Are you asking for my opinion?" When Allie stood and began to pace, Campbell rolled his eyes. Oh, that was rich. She imprisoned him and then wanted his insight. "Harry's a scared little puppy. Too bold for him. Too much effort. He can barely get out of bed these days, and he didn't really hate Cassandra like that, anyways." "Who do you think did it, then?" Humoring her, Campbell gave the question some thought. He examined everyone on the party list, and even the town populace in general. He couldn't think of anyone else who would have been that desperate for Harry's approval. "No one. Dewey did it alone. Just an entitled white boy who hates strong women. Pretty much the story with any shooter." "Classic misogyny," Allie mumbled. She chewed on her thumbnail. "Was that really all it was?" Campbell tried to shift to a more comfortable position, but there wasn't one. Everywhere hurt. They hadn't let him have any visitors-- not even Sam-- and her was starting to go from bored to annoyed. If she hadn't chained him up like a rabid dog, maybe he'd have been more sympathetic, but the only one who had his sympathy was in the ground. Everyone else was just grinding on his last nerve, but he couldn't escape to calm down. "Allie, are you gonna let me go?" "I haven't decided yet." "But if I'm innocent--" Allie's mouth pulled into a little smirk. "You think so? Maybe you didn't do this, but that doesn't mean you're innocent." "You're joking." There was no way in hell she could just detain him for some personal grudge. He felt his adrenaline start to kick in, but goddamn it, all he could do was tug uselessly at the handcuff. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Sitting back down, Allie rested her chin on her hand and stared at Campbell. "Are you scared of me?" A big mistake on her part, saying that. Campbell perked a little, stopping to analyze that question. Are you scared of me? She'd mistaken his desire to get the fuck away from her as fear. And she wanted him to be scared. She wanted him afraid of her... because she'd always been afraid of him. Hate, fear. It made people do terrible shit. Like, for example, threaten to keep one's cousin locked up-- or worse-- just because they'd been a prick. That, combined with Sam's story, must have made Allie afraid. Campbell smiled, relaxing into the handcuff and focusing his gaze on her. "You have no evidence against me. I didn't do shit, and you know it. So, let me guess. You're keeping me here because you're all scared of me." He grinned as her expression froze. "And, what? You finally have a way to deal with your Campbell problem? I'm guilty of being fucked up in the head, so I deserve to be locked up? Or worse? Is that it? I'm the kind of weirdo it's acceptable to pop in the head and get rid of." "I didn't say anything about killing anyone." He laughed. "Let's drop the act and stop being coy, Allie." Campbell's smile faded as he dug through his memory for every little bit of information he had on Allie, and her personality. Every little thing that made her weak. "The thing is, if you do that, you're gonna have to be the one to pull the trigger. That's how it is, as the leader. But you don't like to make tough choices, do you? You're not Cassandra." Her nose twitched in disgust. He had her. "Fuck you." "You can't kill me and not Dewey. That wouldn't make sense. So then you, you've killed two people. And Allie, you might be all kinds of fucked up, too. I don't know. But I do know you're not like me." "So what? I don't have to be." "Yeah, you do. How are you gonna sleep at night, knowing you're a murderer? Knowing that you killed your own family just because people are ignorant and afraid? Because you're ignorant and afraid?" "I..." "You'll never get rid of me, cousin. We'll visit you," he whispered as he leaned forward, close enough that he could see the tears springing up in her eyes. "Cassandra and I. Every night in your sleep." Allie swallowed, standing quickly and walking towards the bedroom door. She stopped, her hand on the doorknob. "Maybe I'll just have to live with that." But the calm in her voice faltered, and that was all he needed. Campbell chuckled, and Allie retreated out the door, shoving her way past Sam and heading downstairs. It was enough to soothe that ache in his chest, in his fingers, that commanded him to rip and tear and make her suffer. But then he saw Sam looking at him with that look, and Campbell felt the wind leave his sails just a touch. "Are you Plan B?" Campbell asked as Sam came in the room. "No. I'm not supposed to be in here." Sam sat next to Campbell on the floor. He tucked his knees up to his chest, and signed slowly. A small mercy, considering Campbell was operating on a total of twenty minutes of sleep. "I just wanted to see you." "You know I can't stay locked up like this." "I'm going to see what I can do. It just doesn't look very good right now." "If she decides to kill me..." Sam's signing turned sharp, angry. "I won't let her do that. I won't." "How do you plan to stop her?" "I'll get Grizz to let you go. I'll take you home, stay with you until she backs off." "Thanks for the sentiment." Campbell glanced at the watch on Sam's wrist. It was just past midnight. Day three had begun. "Go get some rest, Sam. You look almost as shitty as I do." Because he hadn't been sleeping, either, Campbell realized as Sam rubbed his face and gave a long, weary sigh. "Goodnight, Campbell." "Night, Sam." Campbell waited until Sam was gone before kicking over the empty soda can Grizz had brought in at dinner. It was bullshit. They locked him up for days without any proof at all, besides the words of a convicted murderer, chained to a radiator like a fucking animal. Allie outright threatened that she would keep him like that even if he didn't do it. And to put all that on not only him, but Sam? Sam was innocent. He didn't deserve to worry like that, especially not over Campbell; was Allie really that desperate for revenge? Sleep that night went the same way it had since he'd been arrested. Trying to get comfortable, but the metal of the handcuff chaffed and bit into his wrist, the radiator coils pushed into his neck and back and shoulders, and the hard wood floor made his hips ache. He could hear noise from other rooms. He could hear when everyone went to sleep, and then there was just silence. Silence, except for the creak of the floor outside his room when whoever was guarding him moved around. Creak. Campbell startled awake out of the half-sleep he'd just slipped into. He tried again. Ten minutes, twenty minutes went by. Creak. He woke up again. All night long, and eventually, Campbell gave up like he had before and settled into a sort of zoned-out trance. Grizz came by and made sure he had lunch. "It's nothing fancy," he said as he gave Campbell water, a cheese sandwich, and dried cranberries. "But I know you don't like meat and you're on prison rations until Allie makes up her mind." "How's that looking?" Campbell wondered, poking at the food. His own hand didn't even look real anymore. "Any progress?" "Not much. People are starting to whisper." "People have been whispering. They're starting to get pissed." Grizz peeked out the door. "I'm worried she's gonna lose it. People want answers, leadership, and I believe in her but she doesn't believe in herself. People are gonna notice that." "It's because she has to want it." "She doesn't want it." And there was the problem, right there. A teen girl suffering the loss of her big sister, forced to step into her shoes, with the responsibility of an entire society on her shoulders. Campbell knew what their family was like. The pressure there was to be perfect, to compete against one's sibling, to see one's parents pick a favorite when one couldn't live up to the high expectations. It was a lot to try and handle. Allie, forever in Cassandra's shadow, unable to be the perfect little baby that her parents wanted. Campbell could understand how it felt, but at this rate, she was gonna snap. And then someone would take things from her. Oh, no. What a shame. Except it would be, because everything Cassandra worked for would be gone, if things landed into the hands of the wrong person. There were footsteps on the stairs, and Grizz ducked back out of the room before they were seen talking. Luke's voice rose up from outside, muffled. A better guard than Clark. Luke, at least, would come in every so often and ask Campbell if he needed anything. He still didn't stop Gordie from hovering near the door and glaring. Maybe if Allie didn't try and do him in, one of the others would. It wouldn't be surprising. What was surprising was, later that night, Campbell heard shouting from downstairs. Grizz had returned to his post at Campbell's room, but quickly shut the door once the yelling began. Campbell strained to hear, but he could only tell who was arguing, not so much what they were arguing about. He could hear Will and Luke, faintly, but Allie moreso. It didn't last long, whatever was happening. Soon, the door swung open and Allie stomped in, slamming the door behind her. "You're right." Campbell tensed as Allie sat down across from him. She looked angry, with her jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed. "What?" "I've been scared of you my whole life. And for just one second, I wanted you to know what that felt like." She crossed her arms. "But you didn't, did you?" "I'm not scared of you. I'm worried about what you might do." "And what did you think I was going to do?" "You know what I thought." Allie studied the floor. "I thought that maybe I'd keep you here, locked up, to teach you a lesson. Some people have told me it'd be easier to just get rid of you. That it'd be safer for you to be gone, before you actually do anything to hurt people." "And?" He kept his tone even, but he felt his heart begin to slam harder as his brain tried to figure some way out. "What did you decide?" Standing up, Allie reached into her pocket and pulled out a key. She unlocked the handcuffs and waited for Campbell to get to his feet. She latched onto his wrist and led him out the back door, away from where everyone else was. Allie opened the door and shoved him onto the back porch. "Get out." It hurt to walk, and his legs felt like lead and jello at the same time, but Campbell didn't wait around for her to change her mind. He didn't even think to text Elle or Harry; he just raced home as quick as he could. Campbell could hear the piano playing from inside. Who was that? The playing stopped when he entered the home. Elle's voice floated through the silence. "Who's there?" Campbell felt a wave of relief as he turned the corner and saw Elle. It was a new sensation. A little spark of joy, a feeling of being home and safe. She was there, and she was alright. They all were, for now. "I'm free." "How..." Elle stood, stammering. Her eyes were wide. "How did you get out?" "I didn't do anything, so she let me go." "Oh." Tilting his head, Campbell walked up to Elle and stroked her cheek. She looked more like a deer in the headlights than a concerned girlfriend. "Are you okay? I thought you'd be happy to see me." Elle threw her arms around Campbell's neck, burrowing her face into his shoulder. "I am! So much." She kissed his cheek, running her hands through his hair. "So much. We were so worried." We. Campbell glanced up, seeing movement behind Elle. Harry stood in the doorway of the room, dark circles under his eyes and a blanket curled tightly around his shoulders; he kept his distance, but once Elle had left for work, Harry followed him upstairs. Campbell knew it was inappropriate for Harry to sleep beside him, but Campbell was too tired to stop him. That was the excuse Campbell made for himself, anyways. Harry sunk his fingers into Campbell's shirt, nestling close. Campbell fell into a heavy sleep, finally comfortable in his own bed. When he woke up, Harry was still there, sniffling softly with red-rimmed eyes. He didn't seem to notice Campbell was awake. Not until Campbell lightly wrapped his arms arms around Harry, anyways; Harry jumped a little, but then leaned into the embrace. "I thought they were gonna..." His voice broke. "Fucking dicks." Campbell softened his voice. "Hey, it's okay. They didn't do anything to me. We're going to be okay now, alright? Everything is going to be okay." "How do you know that? If they try again--" "Then there will be hell to pay." Campbell knew it was an idle threat. If Allie and her minions came for him again, no one would be able to stop them. Elle and Harry didn't have enough power to stop them. Still, Harry relaxed a little at the words. "Trust me." Harry's mouth twitched at the corner. "Never." "Smart boy." The house was cooler than usual as the sun went down; clouds were forming, and there was a breeze, heralding the chance of rain. Campbell was loathe to move away from the warmth of their blankets and shared body heat, but Elle would be home soon and they had their own jobs to get to. Harry bit his lip and gave Campbell a look that was almost pleading-- not yet, just a few more moments-- but Campbell stood and threw on fresh clothing. He couldn't give in to the desire for closeness. Neither of them could, especially not now when tensions were already so high. Maybe once things calmed down... If they calmed down. Elle gave Campbell a quick peck on the cheek as they passed one another on the porch. Campbell was tempted to say fuck work, and just stay home with Elle to make some coffee and watch a movie, but he had to try to be on good behavior. He couldn't give Allie a reason to fuck around with him again. But it sucked, like it always sucked, and he was happy when it was time for dinner. Elle joined him and Harry for it, and after a bit of clean-up, they could go home. Campbell was glad to get home and finally get a shower, but a closer look in his closet revealed something that made him pause. He hadn't noticed before, but there was a familiar pair of jeans and a shirt hanging there that hadn't been there before. He knew, because those were the clothes he wore the night Charlie disappeared. There was still a trace of blood on the jeans. Neither Harry or Elle had asked about them. It could have been either of them that washed the things, but Harry's idea of putting clothes away was tossing them on a chair and hoping for the best. No, the meticulous one was Elle. "Hey, babe?" Campbell asked Elle when she came back to the bedroom. He held up the shirt and wiggled it. "Where'd you find these?" Elle gave them a quick glance before heading into the bathroom to brush her teeth. "Under the bed. I did the laundry while you were gone." A pause. "There was blood on your jeans. Are you okay?" Fuck. Campbell followed her into the bathroom, kissing her shoulder. "Oh, yeah. It's just allergy season. I get nosebleeds sometimes. Sorry, I didn't want you to worry." She couldn't say anything with a mouth full of toothpaste, but Elle nodded. Campbell thought he saw a flicker of... something, but his eyelids felt like lead and his body was sluggish. He needed sleep, and Elle snuggled up to him just as close as usual, so what was there to worry about? He was just tired, and letting his disorder run off with him like it often did. He was home. He was safe. Campbell was just crawling out of bed when the text came in. Allie had made a decision; she was calling everyone to the church at 8am. Half an hour. Elle was already stumbling around getting dressed, and Harry had fallen asleep in the clothes he wore the day before, so they made it to the church with a handful of minutes to spare. They hadn't eaten. Elle looked like she wanted to be ill, and Harry was silent and shaking; neither looked hungry, and Campbell wasn't going to force himself, either. When they got to the church, Campbell stopped a few yards away. "Go in without me," he said. He remembered the shouts and cheers of the people when he got arrested. Campbell could picture their snide, smug faces in his mind. "I'll wait here." Harry stopped, while Elle went inside. "Are you sure you'll be alright out here?" "Of course." The real answer was actually of course not, and Harry knew this. Still. Harry followed Elle into the church; he was nothing if not obedient. Campbell tucked himself into a shaded spot, out of view, and waited. The air was thick and warm already, the start of a hot day. Campbell had just started to doze off when the church doors slammed open, and Dewey was dragged out kicking, screaming, cursing. Campbell only heard one sentence-- fuck you, you goddamn bitch-- before Dewey was stuffed into the guard's SUV. When Allie came out a few moments later, she looked stoic. The guard members at her side were less so. Grizz was hard to read, but there was a little wrinkle between his eyebrows, and Luke had his eyes fixed on the ground like somehow he wanted to sink into the concrete. Campbell stood and approached. Everyone but Grizz tensed, but Allie muttered something to her herd and they backed off. "Campbell," Allie said. She shoved her hands in her pockets. "You weren't at the meeting." Campbell shrugged. "Being there wouldn't have helped any, right? Anyways. Thought it'd be a good idea if I gave you some space this morning." "Then why are you here?" "For the same reason I was there for Cassandra. I knew it'd be hard for you." Allie stared hard at him, before turning her gaze a little over his shoulder. She was ashamed of her choice. Or, rather, of what she felt she had to do. "We're executing him tomorrow." "Solomon." Campbell tilted his head. The closer he looked at Allie, the more she looked away from him. "You're actually splitting the baby." That made her look at him. Allie pursed her lips, defiant. "I did it for Cassandra." "I know you did. I would have done the same thing." A dig, just to make Allie squirm. Campbell would have enjoyed the queasy look that flitted across her face, if it hadn't been about Cassandra. "Good luck." Maybe she sensed that he meant it, that good luck, because for a single heartbeat of time she looked at him like maybe he wasn't some sort of monster. But then she turned on her heels and headed off, with her lapdogs at her heels. A better reception than he expected, anyways. Campbell turned his attention to Elle and Harry, who emerged from the church and headed towards him. "I can't believe it," Harry mumbled. "She's really going through with it." Elle's lips were pressed into a thin line, but her tone was even. "So what?" She shrugged. "He murdered Cassandra. People who do terrible things deserve what they get." "Maybe, but..." Campbell walked a few paces ahead of them as they went home, trying to tune them out; it wasn't something he wanted to discuss. He knew that, in the end, what he said to Allie had almost been true. It was so very tempting to take the easy route, and Campbell was very sure that the death penalty was the easy route-- easier than having to watch over an inmate for fuck knew how long, anyways, and have him using up resources. That didn't mean he agreed with the death penalty, especially since Cassandra had been against it, and Campbell had heard all the arguments against it from her. In normal society, it didn't deter crime at all, it was more expensive than life without parole, and innocent people sometimes were killed. But this wasn't normal society. The society they were in now was tiny, brittle, and scared. Resources were finite. The guard was already stretched thin. Regardless of what Cassandra would have wanted, regardless of what should have been true and factual, they were playing by different rules now. He didn't care to hear moral debates about it. Most people didn't, it seemed like. Lunch, work, and dinner were quiet. Somber. There were some whispers, but it wasn't surprising that there was so much gossip. It was an execution. Campbell could see Harry sink further into himself with every comment, though; Campbell couldn't exactly offer him comfort, not with everyone else watching them like hawks. It seemed that even with Allie declaring them innocent-- or, well, not worth punishing-- people still were eager to find some excuse to condemn them. They were halfway home when Harry just... stopped. Campbell turned back, following Harry's line of sight. He was staring down the street, towards the spot Cassandra's body had been found. "It's my fault," Harry said. He sounded far away. Faint. "I killed them both." "What are you talking about?" "If I hadn't opened my fucking mouth, if I hadn't said what I did..." Campbell slid his hand under Harry's chin and turned his head so that Harry was looking at him. "No. You're not gonna do this. Just because someone says something fucked up doesn't mean someone else has the right to go murder someone over it." Campbell cut Harry off before he could protest. "It was Dewey's fault. He chose to do what he did." Harry gazed at Campbell, the pulled away and kept walking. He didn't say another word, not until they got home. Muttering to himself, Harry went to his room; Campbell followed, wondering what the hell was going on in Harry's mind this time. Harry dug out all the pills he had left, and a few bags of other drugs. Heading into the bathroom, Harry threw open the toilet, dropped the baggies in it, and flushed. They both stood there, watching the drugs vanish. Once they were completely gone, Harry looked up at Campbell. "Will you help me?" There was no question about it. Campbell went through the house and dumped all the alcohol down the drain. It pained Campbell a little. Some of the bottles were old, expensive, and it's not like he'd personally planned to go completely sober himself. Harry needed it, though. Harry needed Campbell and his support. Campbell was in no way sober, and never would be. He'd given up on that idea. But he could try to be, for Harry's sake; he knew what it was like to give up drugs, especially ones like cocaine, and Harry would need all the help he could get. "Thank you," Harry said when they were done. He frowned as he looked around the kitchen, as if unsure of what to do now that it was all gone. "I just... I can't anymore. You know?" "I know. It's gonna be hell for a while. Are you ready for that?" Harry shook his head. "No, but I can't go through this again, Cam. I don't have it in me. If I keep going on like this, one of these days I'll just..." He hesitated, then gave Campbell a weak smile. "Anyways. I think I'll go to bed." Campbell didn't want to leave. It was gonna be a rough night, and it was only going to be rougher for the next week or so. What if it was all a big show, and Harry was going to do something foolish the minute Campbell left him alone? It happened, sometimes. Professionals always said that it was when depressed people started acting better to worry most, because them being calm could be a sign that they'd decided to end their lives. Harry didn't seem calm, he just seemed ready to try and help himself. Still, if-- Harry was staring at him with a knowing look; he stepped closer, and leaned his forehead against Campbell's shoulder. Of course he'd seen the look on Campbell's face, and read it for what it was. He didn't say anything. Campbell didn't, either. It was a brief, wordless comfort, and then Harry ducked into his room and shut the door. Elle was in her pajamas by the time Campbell got upstairs. "Is everything okay?" she asked as she took her make-up off in the bathroom. "Sounded busy down there." "It's fine. Harry's decided he's gonna get off the drugs and the alcohol." Campbell sunk onto the bed and tossed his shirt into the laundry hamper in the corner. "I was helping him dump the alcohol in the house." "Really?" "Yeah, I mean, he kinda lives here now, too. I didn't want him to be tempted." Rinsing off her face, Elle turned off the bathroom light and flopped next to him in bed. "I guess it's a good idea. We don't really need alcohol. Too bad we couldn't have used it in the garden next spring though, to keep the slugs away." "Pretty sure Harry would have mainlined it all by then." "Good point." Campbell watched Elle as she fiddled with her necklace. Her hands kept slipping. "Do you need some help with that? Here." "It's okay," Elle said quickly, ducking away from his hands. "My hands were just damp still." "Are you feeling alright? You've seemed kind of on edge all day." "It's been a rough day, Campbell." "I know, I just... Do you wanna talk about it?" "No. I'll just be happy when it's over and we can move on." Elle tucked herself in and turned off her bedside lamp, but she stayed sitting up n the faint half-light, her eyes on Campbell. "You looked uncomfortable earlier. Don't you think people who hurt others deserve to be punished?" Campbell felt a cold trickle down his neck and spine. "What do you mean?" It was a strange question, and the fervid look in her eyes made him want to just stand up and leave the room. "Is this about us? Because I've been trying really hard to be better, and I know that doesn't change what happened before, but--" "I was just talking to Becca about it, during work." "Becca?" "She thinks it's true." "I don't doubt it. She's always been pretty passionate about her beliefs." Whatever he said, it triggered some sort of change in Elle's attitude. "Yeah." Rolling over, Elle laid down and pulled the blankets over her. "Sorry, I guess I just need some rest. Goodnight, Campbell." Campbell sat up a little longer, then laid down, too. Weird. Weird, but no one seemed to be getting good sleep lately. Maybe, after tomorrow, people would be less... whatever the hell was happening to people. He just wanted things to go back to how they were only a little while ago, sipping lemonade on their porch and admiring the work all three of them had done together. He just wanted to get his head right with Grizz's help, and try to heal things with Sam, and make sure Harry stayed safe and healthy. Campbell wanted to prove himself to Elle. All this death and murder and trial business was making people senseless. The phone rang at 4am. Picking it up, he slipped out of the bedroom and into the hall. "Hello?" "I can't do it." Allie's voice was strained. Whispering. Campbell shut the bedroom door, and headed across the hall to Elle's bathroom. "Too late for that, cousin. If you back out now, you'll look weak. Weak leaders don't survive long." "How can I?" Allie rasped. "How can I take someone's life?" Campbell sat down roughly on the bathroom floor, leaning back against the cool, tiled wall. "Not lightly. But we both watched Game of Thrones, Allie. You remember what Ned Stark said at the very beginning. The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword." "You're quoting a television show?" "Am I wrong?" A long silence, and a sniffle. "No. I guess not." "Well, then." Campbell traced the small cracks in the floor. He tried to think of something soothing, but there wasn't anything to say. "Do you want me to do it?" "Campbell." "Allie, answer the question. Do you want me to kill him for you? You and I could go out there together, without anyone else around. You don't have to even tell anyone it was me. No one would have to know." "You'd tell them." "I wouldn't." "Why? Why are you offering?" "Why are you calling?" "I..." Allie gulped. She didn't answer, not for a long while. "I don't know. I thought maybe... I guess I just wanted to talk to someone who wouldn't waver." "There you go, then." "I can't ask you to do it. I have to, don't I?" Campbell had never been close to Allie, and while the despair in her voice didn't stir any pity in him, he could acknowledge that it was a shit situation. "You passed down the sentence, Allie. You gotta swing the sword. Even if it fucking sucks." Allie let out a short, shaking breath, and hung up. Campbell waited for a few minutes, then got up and went back to bed. He didn't fall asleep. The best he could manage was laying down with his eyes closed, listening to Elle's soft snoring, and try to clear his mind of everything that had happened. Impossible, but he could sleep once it was over, done, and there was closure. Once it had been laid to rest, literally, everything would start to heal. A lie, probably, but it was a comfortable one.