#you WILL take care of yourself so help me
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Sevika is now a council member, why not make it smut đ€·đŸââïž
- I honestly donât know how I feel abt this or even the ending of arcane but fuck it btw I have another sev fic i should finish soon. đ€đŸ
Send request if you have any đ€
âWe shouldnât be doing this here,â You pants, holding Sevika's shoulders as she fervently kisses your neck, pressing you against the table, her breath hot against your skin. "You have a meeting soon, what if someone walks in?"
Sevika pulls back to you, her eyes dark with desire as a mischievous smile plays on her lips. "I don't care, let them," Sevika smirks, lifting you easily onto the table and wrapping your arms around her neck before saying, "You know why? Cause I'm a fucking councillor now, I make the rules, baby.
You giggle at her boldness, unable to push aside the ache growing between your thighs at the possibility of the rest of the council walking in on you. "Please just be quick, Sev," you plead, playing with her hair as she leans in closer, her lips brushing against your jaw.
"I can't promise that, babe," she chuckles, kissing along your jaw as her hands slips under your shirt, pulling you closer.
You can't help but moan softly as she nips and sucks at your neck, moving your head to give her better access as you give in to her touch. Sevika's hands move with urgency, making quick work of your shirt and bra, tossing them to the floor before standing back to get a good look at you.
"Fuck, baby" she breathes, trailing her eyes over your exposed chest with hunger in her gaze. "Take those off for me," she demands, her eyes locked on your every move as you eagerly comply, stripping yourself of your jeans, leaving you in just your underwear. You blush at her staring, shying away slightly before meeting her eyes with a shy smile.
"Stop being shy, c'mere," she murmurs, stepping forward, her hands tracing your waist before settling on your hips. "Youâre so fucking hot," she says against your lips making you giggle before pulling you into a passionate kiss, her lips moving hungrily against yours.
Sevika guides you to her designated chair around the table, pulling you onto her lap as she deepens the kiss, her hands resting on the curve of your ass. You wrap your arms around her neck, subtly grinding against her thigh as she kneads your ass, giving you a playful spank. You tuck your head into the crook of her neck, hiding the whimper that escapes your lips as she rubs over the now sensitive skin.
"Don't hide from me, baby," Sevika demands, spanking your ass again, making you gasp. You face flushes as you meet her intense gaze, feeling a surge of arousal at her hands slowly guiding you to grind against her thick thigh. Your clothed clit rubs against your panties, the damp fabric creating a delicious friction that makes you twitch in her lap.
"Oh fuck, Sev," you moan, bunching Sevika's shirt in your fists as you grind harder against her. The feeling of her strong thigh against your throbbing clit fogs your brain, forgetting about the meeting starting soon, only able to think about how badly you want to cum.
"Does it feel good, baby?" Sevika coos, brushing back your hair and holding your face in her hand. You nod, unable to form words, the only sounds escaping your lips being desperate whimpers and cries. "Yeah, you wanna cum for me?"
"Yes, please," you manage to gasp out, your hips faltering when Sevika flexes her thigh against you, increasing the pressure on your throbbing clit. Sevika's hand leaves your face, trailing her fingers down your neck to your tits, teasingly circling your hardened nipples.
You twitch as she pinches the sensitive buds, chuckling softly at your reaction. She leans back in her chair to watch you squirm in her lap, a wicked smile playing on her lips as she taunts, "My meeting starts soon and I would hate to leave you like this." You whimper in frustration, feeling the heat pooling between your legs as Sevika's finger trails even lower.
"No, please, I'm so close," you cry, humping against her thigh desperately. Sevika's grin widens as she pulls your panties up against your dripping core, reveling in the way you writhe and moan under her touch. As your orgasm builds, Sevika guides your hips to move faster, feeling you drip onto her thigh.
"Can I cum, Sevika, please? " you beg, your voice shaky with need as your head drops against her chest, feeling the tension building in your belly.
Sevika chuckles, stroking your hair gently as she whispers, "Of course, baby." With her encouragement, you finally reach the edge, tucking your head in her neck to muffle the cries of pleasure as your body trembles.
As you come down from your high, you face Sevika again, a shy smile on your lips as you give her a quick kiss before getting off her lap with shaky legs. "You need help?" Sevika jokes, watching you stumble slightly before getting up to help.
"I'm good, just need a minute," you pant using the table to steady yourself.
"Let me help," Sevika insists, picking up your clothes and carefully dressing you.
"Thank you," you whisper, once she's done, leaning up to kiss her once more before heading towards the door, "Have a good meeting,â you wink as you exit, running into another council member as you speed down the hall
#sevika smut#arcane sevika#sevika#sevika x reader#sevika arcane#arcane netflix#arcane smut#arcane#arcane x reader
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đ àŁȘË ÖŽÖ¶Öžâ
make up for lost time ᥣđ© àŒàŒàż
â ft. alhaitham, diluc, neuvillette, wriothesley, zhongli
synopsis â even when they arrive home from work much later than usual, there you are, ready and willing to welcome them into your arms; 3.7k words.
â minors do not interact! unprotected sex. oral. fingering. mirror play. kissing. sexual language. afab!reader with no use of specific pronouns. sub!reader.
â alhaitham đđ
acting grand sage alhaitham this, acting grand sage alhaitham that. alhaitham has lost count of how many times heâs heard that title today, a perpetual reminder of his current station and a thorn in his side. he isnât one to do more than required of him, what with his resolute desire to live an easy life. but one thing he is is dutiful. he will do his job, as scribe or acting grand sage alike, because doing his job well will save him the hassle further down the line. but this isnât to say alhaitham isnât annoyed with the situation heâs found himself in, temporary as it may be. heâs beyond aggravated as he leaves the akademiya, the sun already well beyond setting. another long day. his annoyance doesnât last much longer through the threshold of his home, however. especially not when he sees you curled on the couch with a book. he almost sighs of relief when your pretty eyes turn upwards to meet his.
âyouâre home,â you say in greeting. you snap your book shut gently as your body turns to face him, already preparing to welcome him in as you watch him move closer.
âyou waited up for me again.â itâs a matter of fact statement, and it falls off alhaithamâs lips in a dull tone, but you know him, and know that he feels somewhat bad that youâve stayed up so late just for him. but heâs grateful for you all the same. his toned body collapses next to you on the couch, quickly bringing you in close with one arm. youâre eager to receive the embrace and quick to settle yourself upon his lap.
you nuzzle your face into his neck and breathe; youâve missed him. âiâm glad youâre home.â your arms are around his shoulders and you sigh when his hands find your waist and squeeze. the man below you simply grunts, and you know heâs beyond tired from the day. âi missed you today.â
alhaithamâs hands smooth over the curves of you and finally slip under your shirt to feel your skin. he feels you shudder. âoh yeah?â heâs never been a man in need of affirmative words, but he canât help but love to hear you say that you missed him, him of all people.
âmhm.â your hands are toying with his hair now, fingers tangling in the silvery locks. you canât help the involuntary grind of your hips.
the man beneath you grunts again at the action, your clothed cunt warm against his groin. his fingers travel higher up under your shirt just as he feels your lips against his neck. âhow much?â he hears you sigh and feels the heat of your breath. his skin is littered with goosebumps, and they donât go unnoticed by you. and heâs not concerned with hiding the effect you have on him.
âa lot,â you reply against his skin, your hips rolling again. you feel something hardening under you, and it grazes your heat in a way that makes you shudder. you pull your head away to look at his handsome yet tired face. âcare for a demonstration?â
he smirks. âby all means.â and youâre so eager to show him, to prove to him the way you yearned for him all day. and he doesnât speak it aloud just yet, but he doesnât need words when his hard cock that springs out of his pants is sufficient evidence that he has also longed for you. youâre on your knees now, taking his length in your hand. heâs hot and solid in your grasp, and already so sensitive as he takes the first plunge into your welcoming mouth.
you hollow your cheeks and suck after taking what you can of him. your hand wraps around whatâs left, and the combination has the scribe-turned-acting-grand-sage groaning above you. heâs so heavy on your tongue, and he tastes so good just like he always does. youâre already a mess between your thighs, panties dampened with your slick. you clench your thighs as you suck him off. the taste of him and the sounds of his raspy groans are getting to you, accelerated by your desperation.
alhaitham watches you bob up and down his shaft through hazy vision. his eyes are heavy with sleepiness, but also lust as he admires the way you swallow him. fuck, heâs missed you. itâs so evident in the way he reaches his end quickly with one final push of his cock in your mouth, his hot cum spilling down your throat. you take all he has to give and then some until heâs pulling you off him.
you swallow the last of his release while your eyes remain on his. his hand tightens in your hair. âwas that good enough proof, hm?â the man above you smirks.
heâs pulling you into his lap again until your face is only mere inches away. he can feel the way your arousal has seeped through your shorts with the way you settle yourself over his bare cock. alhaitham kisses you once, twice, thrice. âi suppose,â he whispers against your skin. âbut now i think itâs my turn to show you, yes?â
â diluc đđ
itâs no secret that your husband diluc is a busy man, to say the least. he wears many hats, and has many responsibilities. heâs dutiful in all things, dedicated and diligent. anyone would be hard pressed to find someone more committed to mondstadt than him. he does so much beyond what people are even aware of, and as much as you adore how honorable and noble he is, you canât deny that you some times grow tired of how busy he is. he always does his best to pamper you when he can, to be the most attentive, caring spouse he can be to you. and he is very much that and more. you couldnât ask for a better husband, itâs justâŠyou wish you could have more time with him. and as for the last few days, heâs been even more busy than usual.
and diluc knows this, so painfully aware of his absence. which is why he wastes no time in heading towards the direction of your bedroom after getting home tonight. itâs so late that even the winery staff have already retired for the night; itâs quiet, but diluc doesnât linger near the front door too long in worry some other obstacle may stand in his way of you. his heart is fluttering faster the closer he gets to your door, and it all but bursts in his chest when his eyes find your form. youâre springing off the bed before he can even register your movement, but his natural reflex to always reach out for you allows him to catch you when you barrel into his strong chest.
âyouâre home.â youâre relieved, immensely so. your body melts in his warm embrace and you almost purr with content when you feel him relax around you.
dilucâs overwhelmed by your scent and he feels like his knees could give way any moment. as elated as he is that youâre awake to greet him, heâs overly aware of the hour and a worry rises within him. âand youâre still awake. should you not be asleep, my love?â
âcanât sleep without you,â you whine. âwanted to see you when you got home. i missed you so much.â and the pouty eyes that look up at him just about does him in for good.
he feels the way you cling to him, and he breathes a chuckle while he kisses your forehead. youâre too cute. âi cannot deny that iâm happy to be welcomed by you. i have missed you as well, my love.â and heâs pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, and he only intends for it to be a quick gesture but the way you tug and pull at him keeps him rooted in place.
the longer you kiss him the more heated things turn. youâre clambering at the lapels of his coat because you simply cannot get close enough; his hands are in a firm press around your hips and soon enough heâs pushing you backwards towards the large bed. thereâs so much you both could say, so much left unsaid from all the time apart, but the best way either of you could express it all is through desperate touches and sighs. and it all escalates until heâs balls deep inside your warm, wet cunt, your legs thrown over his broad shoulders.
diluc isnât precise in his rhythm, his cock driving wildly into your warmth and itâs all he can do to keep himself together. youâre already so overwhelmed under him, nails in his skin and his name on your lips. his mouth is all over your face, your lips, and then your neck. âmissed you, missed this tight little pussy. i â hah â am so sorry, my love. promise iâll make it all u-up to you.â
and you have no doubt he will. it doesnât really matter how much time he spends away when heâs always so good at coming back to you at the end of the day. your face is buried in his shoulder as you wail out his name. âdiluc! âm so close! donât stop!â
diluc groans when you squeeze him so good. a hand snakes down between your body to press a warm thumb to your puffy clit. âwill never stop, my love. never stop making you feel good. so good.â and he doesnât stop that night; heâs tired, youâre tired, but neither of you could get enough after all the time apart.
â neuvillette đđ
neuvillette suspects there must be something in the water as of late, because the oddities heâs endured in such a short amount of time are abundant. his job as iudex has been particularly peculiar lately, or rather, the trials he has been overseeing have been quiteâŠout of the ordinary. thereâs been more legal documents atop his desk as of late, and as the ever diligent chief justice that he is, he allocates all of his time to make sure theyâre properly sorted. a hectic work schedule wouldnât be so unbearable though if the thought of you didnât dwell on his mind every waking momentâŠ
youâre his motivation to push through every document, to be done with his responsibilities and finally leave his office and seek out your presence that awaits him at home. he groans at the thought of you waiting for him, your pretty little self eager for him and only him. his trousers are becoming all too tight the more he muses upon you; itâs too much, youâre too much and youâre not even near him. he feels wildly inappropriate getting so worked up within his office, at his place of work. itâs so shameful, but he supposes it cannot be helped. all he can do now is finish as quickly as possible so he can alleviate his pent up sexual frustration.
itâs late when he arrives home, and neuvillette is certain youâre well asleep by now. but to his pleasant surprise, youâre very much awake when he steps into your shared bedroom, sitting at the large vanity. heâs stunned for a moment as he watches you; why does it feel like itâs been ages since heâs last seen you? youâre brushing through your hair but stop when you notice him, your gaze meeting his through the mirror.
you make his heart leap in his chest when you give him a smile in the reflection. âwelcome home.â itâs so simple but he feels all the stress wash off of him at your attention. his feet are moving on their own accord, and you stay put to welcome him in once heâs close.
âmy dear, my love.â neuvillette sighs out in both relief and adoration while he towers behind you. heâs bending forward and burying his face in your nape, and his breath makes goosebumps erupt all over your skin. his gloved hands are squeezing at your shoulders before wrapping around to settle against your waist. you giggle when he peppers kisses along your throat and shoulder.
âif i didnât know any better, iâd say you missed me,â you tease, leaning into his embrace. your eyes watch the reflection, and you enjoy the sight of his larger frame around you. âis that a fair statement, love?â
neuvillette groans; itâs a sound that slips out more guttural and needy than he intends. âvery fair, indeed.â his hands smooth over the silk of your night gown and you exhale. his need from earlier is returning with a vengeance, dick throbbing pathetically in his pants. your smell, your body, itâs all affecting him. âyouâve taken over my mind all day. I simply could not escape you in the slightest. very distracting, i must say.â
you sigh when his large hands rise up your arms to toy with the thin straps of your night gown. he tugs them off your shoulders the moment he nibbles at your neck, and you canât help the moan that flows forth. âshow me, neuvillette. show me all the ways you thought about me while you were away.â
and oh, he does. he soon has your breasts free to his viewing and feeling pleasure, one large palm around one of the plush mounds of flesh, fingers pinching at the pebbled nipple. his other still gloved hand is plunged between your thighs, two fingers knuckle deep in your weepy cunt. he watches you in the mirror and itâs a nasty sight, and when your eyes find his he almost meets his end right then and there. he fucks you on his fingers while his thumb works over your swollen pearl, urging you to your climax with haste.
âneuvillette, m-my love ââ you dissolve into pleasure before you can finish your words, your high overwhelming all of your senses. itâs so intense, amplified by the way your eyes remained locked on his through it all;
neuvillette guides you through your high and relishes in the way your cum soaks through his gloves. heâs kissing your temple as you calm down, but he is far from finished with you. âwell done, my love. now,â he urges you on your wobbly feet. âlay on the bed for me.â
â wriothesley đđ
the duke doesnât get to see the topside often. leaving the depths of the fortress is a rarity, but when he does ascend to the world above, itâs always to make his way home to you. but as luck â or lack thereof â would have it, spending time at home with you has become even more rare these days. being the warden is a never ending job, and his responsibilities persist even when he misses you so much it hurts. heâs wrangling new inmates when heâd much rather be tangled up with you, your knees folded over your form, and him balls deep inside â
wriothesley grunts when his dick throbs impatiently in his slacks. heâs fumbling with his keys in a frantic search for the house key because he quite simply cannot get inside fast enough; thereâs an overwhelming urgency to be inside you thatâs compelling him to practically knock down the front door once itâs unlocked. itâs been much too long since heâs been graced with the sweet wrap of your cunt. heâs almost sprinting through the house towards your shared bedroom; fuck, he hopes youâre still awake. and thank the archons, youâre awake and so beautiful and right in front of him with the prettiest little smile thatâs beckoning him closer.
âah, there you are!â youâre sitting up in bed and wriothesley almost falls to his knees at the sight of you in one of his shirts. âi was beginning to think you werenât coming home at all.â
âsorry, darlinâ,â heâs climbing over the bed, his icy gaze locked on his target: you. âtried my best to make it on time. you havenât been waiting up for me, have you?â and he knows you have and heâs grateful. his pretty darling staying up just to welcome him home.
you hum and open your thighs so he can slot himself between them. your fingers are quick to tangle in his hair and you almost hear him purr. ânot too long, i suppose. but youâll need to be quicker next time, or else i wonât be so forgiving.â
the duke in your hold smirks widely, and you feel a pulse between your thighs at the sight. âunderstood.â wriothesley presses a quick peck to your nose and you giggle; the sound is music to his ears, but as he travels down your body, heâs in search for a much different tune. he hikes up your â his â shirt and sighs at the sight of your panties, which heâs swift to hook two fingers underneath. he tugs them to the side and you so obediently widen your legs for him, to show him. âmmh, guess this means iâve got some making up to do, huh?â
you donât get to respond. well, not with words at least. youâre gasping when his lips wrap around your clit and suck, your fingers that are still in his hair tugging at the sudden sensation. âwriothesley!â
he smirks against your sex before offering another suctioned kiss to your mound. he follows it up with long swipe of his tongue through your folds and he earns himself the most precious moan from you. âyouâve got the prettiest and sweetest little pussy, darlinâ. been missing her so much.â
you burn red at his words. soon enough heâs making a sticky mess between your thighs, and all you can do is lay there and take it while he laps up your essence like a dog. âfuck, wrio! thatâŠthat feels so good!â your legs are beginning to shake as he winds you up to your release.
âis that right, darlin?â wriothesley gleams up at you, distracting you with his devilishly handsome face while his fingers sneak their way to your entrance. he might not be punctual in getting back home to you tonight, but heâs eager to get in your good graces once again.
â zhongli đđ
zhongli thinks that maybe heâs getting too old for this after yet another errand for the wangsheng funeral parlor. thereâs been an uptick in responsibilities recently, and the ever energetic director has been full of many requests for the consultant. and he powers through them, but all zhongli can focus on is the way he misses you terribly. all he wants is to get home to you at a decent hour, to spend time with you for a moment before you both have to retire for the night to prepare for the day ahead. itâs a domestic lifestyle the ex geo archon finds himself, working a steady job with a wonderful spouse waiting for him at home. he doesnât want it another way truly. the only time he grows tired is when his work life overwhelms his personal one, leaving him with less time with you.
zhongli ponders back on this morning; you underneath him, your hands in his hair, his name on your pretty lips as he fills you with two long fingers. the way your back arches into him, the way you shudder and weep. itâs so clear in his mind, him so close to taking you on his cock before he realizes just how late heâs running for work. he never got to have you, to relish in your tightness, and he swears he hasnât been able to get over it all day. the desire to have you grows the closer he gets home; he wonders if youâre still awake, and he also wonders if heâll have the self control to not wake you up if you arenât. he gets his answer when he walks into your shared home, his eyes finding you quickly.
youâre seated at the dining room table. you look so beautiful, and thereâs a pot of tea with two cups sitting in front of you. you smile as he draws nearer. âwelcome home,â you greet him. âi figured iâd wait up for you, and brew you a pot of tea. i know youâve been working so hard lately.â
the god of oldâs heart swells in chest. he smiles warmly. âyouâre always so good to me, my dearest,â he praises as he closes the distance with a few more strides. when heâs able, he reaches out to cup your face, thumb smoothing over your cheek affectionately. he leans down to capture your lips in a kiss, and oh, how heâs missed you.
you hum in delight and look up at him with eyes so beautiful they might just bring this ex archon to his knees. you giggle when he dives back in for another kiss, and then another, and then one more. this one lasts, itâs slow and languid. but then you reach and grasp his collar to pull him closer, and suddenly the atmosphere in the room changes.
it makes zhongli pause and chuckle, and he casts an almost apologetic glance at the teapot. âmmh, the tea will get coldâŠâ he follows up his words with another searing kiss and clearly neither of you are too concerned with the tea. heâs handsy with you now and desperate to feel you, to pick back up where you both had left off this morning. heâs so hard, cock straining in his trousers, and when he plants you on the table and slips his fingers passed your underwear, he feels how aroused you are as well. youâre slippery with slick, and he groans. âmy dearest, i simply must have you, is that alright?â
you nod eagerly. ây-yes, zhongli. please.â he absolutely cannot deny you when you sound so sweet.
which is why you find yourself a while later with your legs pinned to the table, your back arched in pleasure, and his cock nestled deep within your sodden cunt. the poor teacups rattle with every thrust of his hips, and even the table itself canât withstand the way he takes you, the wooden furniture skidding across the floor. youâre so tight and warm and perfect around him. itâs maddening, and his large hands are squeezing your waist to keep himself grounded to reality. his tip kisses your womb repeatedly and you wail out his name. this is everything heâs been aching for all day. âso good for me. taking me so well, my dearest,â he groans. âi will never tire of coming home to you and this wonderful little pussy of yours.â
natâs notes â if youâve read until this point, thank you! this is my first fic/first time writing for genshin impact. so i figured this is the best time to introduce myself. iâm loveliluc aka nat! iâm new in the genshin impact fandom space, and new to the game overall as i only just started playing back in early september. guess you could say iâve very much fallen down the genshin rabbit hole lol. i hope you enjoyed this first piece, and i look forward to posting more! would love any support on this, and would love to create new moots going forward. i also ask for patience as i am still getting to know many of the genshin characters so sorry if i write anyone ooc. thank you! <3
#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin smut#genshin impact smut#alhaitham smut#alhaitham x reader#diluc smut#diluc x reader#neuvillette smut#neuvillette x reader#wriothesley smut#wriothesley x reader#zhongli smut#zhongli x reader#genshin impact fanfiction
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omg pls pls pls hotch x nerdy reader like everyone would think youâd be the perfect match with spencer, having the biggest love of reading and all things art, literature, sci-fi and all things nerdy but NOPE itâs hotch who catches your clumsy eyes and he wouldnât have it any other way!
You're right in the middle of reading about the USS Enterprise's next big adventure when your novel is rudely whisked from your hands, and a strong arm wraps around your waist, yanking you back into a firm chest.
"You were going to fall down the stairs," A deep timbre comes from behind you, and you glance around bewilderedly to find yourself, in fact, at the entrance to the stairwell instead of the elevator. Evidently you'd been too engrossed in your reading to realize you'd gone past the elevator bay and into the stairwell, and you'd have fallen right down the concrete steps if it weren't for Aaron's help.
"Thanks." You stammer, struggling to free yourself from his tight grip, "Aaron- Hotch, lemme go. I'll pay attention from now on, just- don't let anyone see us."
"I don't care if anyone sees us right now. I care that you were so distracted that you almost fell blind down at least one set of stairs, if not seven." His eyes are stern as they regard you, but loving as the reason.
"I know! I know, I get too into it." You try prying your book from his hands but he flips your bookmark into place and tucks the pocket sized novel into his suit jacket lining, "Hey!"
"I'm confiscating this until you're back from the deli. You can have it back when you're sitting down at your desk."
"Agent Hotchner, that's hardly your right to take away a subordinate's property."
"It's my boyfriendly duty to make sure that my girlfriend doesn't plummet to her death with her nose in a book."
You're definitely stable on your feet now, and you try one more time to shimmy out of his hold to no avail, "Aaron! Someone's really going to see, come on."
"Promise me." He glares at you, a slight squinting of his eyes that makes you understand every single squirming unsub for their fear of him.
"Okay, okay! I promise." You nod vehemently, and he lets your waist go. You straighten your blazer, smoothing a hand down your trousers, "Now, can I please have my book back? I promise I won't read while walking anymore."
"You can have it back when you get back from the deli." He repeats, "You can pick it up from my office when you bring me a pastrami sandwich on rye."
"Pickles?"
"Extra. Here." Aaron fishes his wallet out of his pocket, handing you his card, "Get something we can split for dessert. And you'd better not have a backup novel hidden in your purse for the walk there."
For the record, you do, but Aaron's firm glare is enough to dissuade you from using it.
"I don't! I'll be back in twenty minutes." You promise Aaron, tucking his card into your pocket and entering the stairwell on purpose this time, "Be careful with my book!"
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner scenario#aaron hotchner oneshot#aaron hotchner one-shot#aaron hotchner one shot#aaron hotchner headcanons#aaron hotchner headcanon#aaron hotchner hc#aaron hotchner hcs#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner dialogue#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner x reader fanfiction#aaron hotchner smut
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She tastes so sweet.
Pitfighter!vi going down on you for the first time and becoming addicted.
warnings: smut 18+ ONLY, vaginal fingering, semi public sex, bathroom sex, hook ups, clubs, alcohol, kissing, marking, service top!vi, reader has no confirmed gender but they're wearing a dress in this for the scenario reasons, vi is quiet a fuckboy, oral sex (reader receiving)
Vi has always had her fair sure of fun over the years, she wasn't new to this, after she wins a match she just really wants to fuck someone.
She goes to a club where she'll know exactly who to find, she's scanning the room where her eyes land on you, who happen to be dancing with their friends, enjoying yourself as you look so pretty.
Vi smirks.
That's the one.
You just looked so nice in that dress you were wearing, she just wanted to rip it off and see whats underneath, your smile is enough to make anyone swoon, she wonders if you even know those that eye you in the dark from afar when you aren't watching.
The loud music blasts in her ears as she takes a sip of her beer, everything was loud, but she liked it, she needed it.
She felt good and she wanted to make someone else feel good.
It's not the first time she's seen you around, she's spotted you before, she's just been watching you, keeping her eye on you, making sure you're okay, while your friends get shit faced drunk, you don't seem like the type to get drunk easily, maybe a little tipsy, but that happens with everyone after a few cups.
When she sees your friend whisper something in your ear she knew she was going to leave you alone, she didn't like that, not when she spotted a guy checking you out, was she doing the same thing? Yes, but that guy had red flags all over him, he was bad news.
Vi didn't trust him.
As soon as you were left alone, seemingly in your own world, enjoying the music, the guy makes his way to you, taking advantage of it. Immediately, vi places her drink back down as she walks through the crowd of drunk people.
Before the guy could even say anything to you, she grabbed a drink already and purposely bumped into him, spilling it all over him, he swore under his breath.
"damn, you should probably go clean that up" Vi said, staring him down, he should know vi wasn't playing around with you and he scoffed, cursing more as he stormed off.
Then there was you, still oblivious to the whole thing.
She taps you on the shoulder, causing you to jump slightly as you turned around, probably expecting your friend.
"hi?" You slurred, she smiled, thinking it was cute. "Have you seen Hannah? Is she back yet?" You ask.
Vi shakes her head, "sorry, dunno Hannah is."
"fuckin' bitch probably left me with some dick" you groaned in annoyance, she couldn't help but chuckle at that.
"I could accompany you, if you want", vi offered, she wanted to be smooth about this, not being to obvious that she wanted to get in your pants, but the way you raised your eyebrows at her and checked her out, your eyes roaming her entire body which made her heart flutter, she knew what you wanted.
Before she knows it, she's pushing you against the wall of the bathroom that smells like shit but she couldn't care less, all she focused on was the taste of your lips and how soft they felt against hers. She heard you chuckle, as she pushed your dress up, you held it up for her as she kissed her way down, leaving her marks, enjoying the way you squirmed for her and moaned, fuck, she needed you.
She places her fingers inside your panties to tease you, she moans at how wet you already were, you let out a moan as she dipped her finger easily inside your wet folds, you felt so good, she pumped her finger in and out of you slowly at first, you were a whining mess, your hands gripping her shoulders.
She watched you in awe, as she felt you clench around her, it was making her dizzy, she's never fucked someone this wet before, well, not in a long time.
She pulls her fingers out hearing you whine, she doesn't say anything but grins, bending down on her knees as she kisses down your stomach, just above your waist, you body was begging for it and so was you, she loved the way noises you made, it drove her insane.
Once she pulled off your underwear fully, it was soaked, she moaned at the sight of your pussy, how pretty it looked, how much it needed her. Her own core throbbed, as she leaned in, pressing a kiss to it as she licks up your slit, hearing you moan louder and grip her hair harder, she smirks.
Vi dips her tongue in between your folds, twirling it around and making you squeal and squirm, she was showing just how fucking good she was with her mouth and she wanted to make you come on her tongue. She knew you were close with how she purposely didn't let you come before on her fingers, she wanted to taste you instead, and my god, you taste wonderful.
She couldn't get enough.
She keeps going, her hands on your thighs to hold them up as she watches you, your head against the wall, your eyes closed, getting lost in the feeling as she can't help but feel cocky about it.
Her tongue goes to tease circles at your clit, you whined, pushing your face into her, you looked so pretty like this, looking like a complete mess, moaning and whining for her while she eats you out.
She knows how much you like it too.
Your grip gets tighter as she knows you're close, she just wanted to relish in this feeling, she finally got you where she always wanted. She couldn't help but feel more smug, knowing how easy she can make you cum, make you a crying mess for her, she's obsessed, really. She wants more. She pushes her tongue into you, hearing you gasp as she fucks you with her tongue, moaning at the taste, you whimper above her, riding her face as she's in heaven.
She watches you come with a cry of her name, not even caring how loud you are in the moment, she loves it, she loves every bit of it, she leans away, licking her lips as you stared at her in a daze with a smile, your hand still in her hair.
"you wanna come to mine, sweetheart?" She asks, you've never agreed to something so fast in your life.
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A lazy and calm day with ekko
short drabble / just fluffy and kisses
requested by. @strawberry-pie-thoughts
For the past few days, it had been long and gruelingâscraps with enforcers, an unexpected sabotage run, and hours spent ensuring that the neighborhood stayed safe. It had taken a toll on you both, and now the world outside seemed impossibly far away.
Ekko lay beside you on the cozy bed, his head nestled against your shoulder as his arm draped across your waist. The low light of the room danced across his features, softening the usual sharp determination in his gaze. Instead, his expression was one of quiet exhaustion, his breathing even and calm, though you could tell by the tension still lingering in his body that he hadnât fully let the day go.
You shifted slightly, your fingers brushing gently against his cheek. His skin was warm, a few faint smudges of grime still marking his jaw despite his attempts to clean up earlier. He turned his face into your touch instinctively, eyes fluttering open just enough to meet your gaze.
âYou okay?â he murmured, his voice low and soft, carrying the weight of his concern even through his exhaustion.
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips as you leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. âIâm okay,â you whispered. âBut what about you? Youâve been running around all day.â
Ekko chuckled softly, the sound warm and comforting as it rumbled through him. âTakes more than that to knock me out,â he teased, though his words were undercut by the way his eyes slipped closed again, his body melting further into your embrace. âBut being with you sure helps.â
Your heart swelled at his admission, and you let your hands roam up to cradle his face, brushing your thumbs over his cheekbones. He opened his eyes again, the soft brown of his irises warm and inviting as they locked onto yours. Without thinking, you leaned forward, peppering gentle kisses along his temple, his cheeks, the bridge of his nose. Each press of your lips was slow, deliberate, filled with affection that made him relax further under your touch.
Ekko let out a soft laugh, his hands coming up to mimic yours, his fingers brushing tenderly over your jaw as he cupped your face in return. âYou trying to put me to sleep?â he teased, though the words were accompanied by a quiet smile, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks.
âMaybe,â you replied, a playful lilt in your voice as you leaned into his touch. âYou deserve a break, though. I mean it.â
He didnât respond right away, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes. Slowly, he leaned up, pressing his lips to yours in a kiss so sweet it made your heart ache. It wasnât hurried or desperate. Just pure and simple, the kind of kiss that spoke of trust and comfort. When he pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, and the tension in his body seemed to dissolve entirely.
âI donât know what Iâd do without you,â he murmured, his voice barely more than a whisper.
âYouâll never have to find out,â you replied, threading your fingers through his hair and pulling him closer until you were tangled together, legs intertwined as you lay in the soft quiet of the room.
Minutes stretched into what felt like hours as you exchanged soft kisses and murmured words, both of you too tired to move but too comfortable to care. His fingers traced idle patterns along your arm, and your hands ran over his back in soothing circles. It was perfectâjust the two of you in your own little world, far from the chaos and danger outside. You felt his breathing even out, his body growing heavier as sleep threatened to pull him under. You were just about to close your eyes yourself when a sudden knock at the door shattered the peace.
Ekko groaned, his head burying into the crook of your neck as if he could will the interruption away. âNot now,â he muttered, his voice muffled against your skin.
âEkko,â came Scarâs voice from the other side of the door. âYou in there? Need to talk.â
With a heavy sigh, Ekko propped himself up on one elbow, his gaze flicking to the door before returning to you. âOne sec,â he called out, his voice laced with irritation. He turned back to you, brushing a strand of hair from your face. âSorry about this,â he murmured, though the annoyance in his voice wasnât directed at you.
âDonât be,â you replied, giving him a soft smile. âIâll be right here.â
He nodded, then raised his voice again. âIs it urgent, Scar? âCause if itâs not, it can wait.â
There was a pause, and you could almost hear Scar weighing his options. âI mean⊠itâs not that urgent,â he admitted. âButââ
âThen tomorrow,â Ekko interrupted, his tone firm but not unkind. âIâm not getting up tonight, man. Not unless the place is on fire.â
Another pause, followed by a reluctant, âAlright. Tomorrow, then.â
When the sound of Scarâs footsteps retreated, Ekko collapsed back onto the bed with a dramatic sigh, his head finding its place against your chest this time. âI swear, if one more person interrupts us tonightâŠâ
You laughed softly, running your fingers through his hair as you leaned down to kiss the top of his head. âTheyâd better be prepared to face my wrath,â you teased as you swished his cheeks softly, earning a low chuckle from him.
âIâm holding you to that,â he murmured, his arms wrapping around you as he pulled you closer. âBecause Iâm not moving. Not tonight, not tomorrow morning⊠maybe not ever.â
You smiled, resting your cheek against his hair as your fingers traced gentle patterns along his back. âFine by me,â you whispered, your eyes slipping closed as the warmth of his embrace lulled you toward sleep.
banner @anitalenia
#arcane fanfic#arcane masterlist#arcane fandom#arcane fluff#arcane fic#arcane ekko imagine#ekko x you#arcane ekko x reader#arcane ekko#ekko fics#ekko imagines#ekko fluff#ekko arcane#ekko x reader#ekko#ekko league of legends#firelight ekko#arcane characters#arcane x gender neutral reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane x reader#league of legends
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Helloo!! Arcane is ending soon, so I was wondering if I could request the Arcane cast reacting to a reader who suspiciously seems to know everything thatâs gonna happen in the plot? They always appear where the action is, and they warn about dangers before they happen, trying to âsubtlyâ change the outcomes of horrible events. Tragedies are a core element of the story, so I feel that the narrative would create another disaster if one event got prevented, but the thought of these characters being safe and happy after all theyâve been through would be so healing :3 Itâs up to you which way you want to take it đđ Iâm fine with both platonic and romantic, but Iâd love to see Vi, Jinx and Caitlyn if thatâs ok :)
I love love love your writing, reading your HCâs before bed has become an important part of my day and itâs always a joy to see your work pop up in the tags <3 Thank you for letting us read your creations đ I canât wait to read the second part of your Caitlyn fic!!
The Timekeeper. | Vi, Caitlyn, Jinx x Gn!Reader
I absolutely LOVE this idea, Anon, and I appreciate your request so much!! Also, thank you for your kind words. It really means the world to me reading something so sweet!<33
Content: Angst, can be read as either platonic or romantic tbh, time traveling, fluff, bitter sweet, cursing, spoilers for season 2?, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns.
((Not proofread))
You were always a mysterious figure to them. One that appeared at the right time in the right place whenever they needed you the most.
You never revealed a thing about yourself. You never even told them your name. But one thing they did know was that you had always looked out for them, like a guardian angel in a way.
And on one fateful day, after another evaded tragedy, they finally caught up to you just before you could leave again.
ăVI
"Who the hell are you?" She asked completely out of breath after having practically chased you down through the dense crowd of the undercity. She had seen you so many times before. So, so many times. And every time she did, you were somehow able to save her from certain death by subtly showing her the right way to survive.
It took her a while to piece together that you must've known the outcome of every situation she had ever been in beforehand. That was the only logical answer to the many questions around your existence she could come up with, but it wasn't enough to satiate her desperate curiosity. There were times she had chosen against your signs, and the consequences ended up being almost grave. So whoever you were, you must've had otherworldly knowledge about everything and everyone.
Because whilst she didn't know a thing about you, you certainly knew everything about her.
Raising your hooded head, you idly played with the pocket watch in your hand, piercing eyes meeting her own. "Does that matter?" You ask, and truthfully, it shouldn't. Who cared about your identity when she knew she could trust you? But that wasn't enough. "Yeah, it does to me. Now tell me who you are already. I... I've been seeing you everywhere for years now. You have always been there and I..." She trailed off, suddenly losing her confidence.
She had thought of this moment for years now, imagined exactly what she would say to you. And yet, ultimately, she found herself speechless in your presence that seemed to drown out everyone else around you two. "I see... but my apologies, we were not supposed to meet yet." You said calmly, seemingly undisturbed by her appearance. "Time and fate... they both are so tightly intertwined and yet also so far apart from each other... how odd that the timeline changed so suddenly again, no?" Your words made zero sense in her mind, but that just added to your mystery.
"What-" "-Are you happy with the way your life is going?" You ask, and that made the woman pause in thought. The answer was positive, of course, but only because you had a strong hand in it once she accepted your help. She thought of Powder back home, who was probably happily tinkering away with the young girl Isha they recently took in, and that made her finally nod. "Yes. All thanks to you." "Not at all. It was you who chose your fate. I only showed you the alternative paths."
You two stood there in silence for a moment before she shoved her hands into her pockets and looked over to a nearby bar she liked to frequent in-between missions. "Let's go grab a drink and talk. It's on me." Deciding to accept this new path the timelines had given you, you accept her invitation with a smile.
ăJINX
"You're terrible at your job." "Am I? I like to pride myself in my good work ethic, actually." Jinx was idly swinging her gun back and forth on her index finger whilst she rested up in the ceiling above you, clearly having followed you around secretly. But she knew that you already knew that from the start.
Scoffing at your words, she jumped down and landed in front of your indifferent figure as she pointed the gun right at you. "Pah! You're a funny one... so what are you? A time traveler?" "Ah, I like the title Timekeeper more." You were aggravating but at the same time a familiar face she had grown to appreciate deeply. You were the reason she was doing well in life now, even if she ignored you for a very, very long time. She thought she knew better despite all the odds pointing against her, especially you. Ultimately, she learned her lesson when she finally just listened to you.
"Ugh... whatever. Can't ya at least tell me your name?" "No." "Man, you're such a pain in the butt!" "Likewise." Rolling her eyes, she lowered her gun and lazily leaned against a wall, arms crossed tightly as she observed the crowds passing by from outside the abandoned building you were in. An admittedly comfortable silence fell between you two, one that relaxed her shoulders and made her sigh in defeat after a while. Your presence was always so comforting.
"So, you let me catch up to you this time. Finally tired of the cat and mouse game we've been playing?" You lowered your head at her question, a sly smile on your face that made her narrow her eyes in interest. "Perhaps. Or maybe I just wanted to ask you how you're doing?" What an odd question, considering the context of your meet-up. And yet, it was somehow fitting coming from you specifically. Wasn't your whole mysterious mission revolving around her well-being anyway?
"Shouldn't you know the answer to that, oh so esteemed 'Timekeeper'?" You found no offense in the mockery of your title. Just pure amusement. "I'm afraid that mind reading was not in the initial job listing." Jinx took a moment to think about your question carefully then, deciding to indulge you despite her better judgment. Things were good now, after all. She, Isha, and Vi were together again as a family, including Vander, even if they had yet to find a way to turn him back properly. But everything was happy otherwise... because you made sure that the end to her story wouldn't be a painfully tragic one.
"... I'm fine. Everything's fine." She muttered, and your smile widened at that answer. "So... I'm not terrible at my job, after all?" Pressing a playful hand to her chin, Jinx acted as though she was in deep thought. "Hmmm... I guess I'll need more convincing than all of this to decide." "Of course... then how about we start with running away before the Enforcers show up to raid this place in approximately... 2 minutes?"
Jinx rolled her eyes again with a grin but agreed to follow you, very much glad to have learned her lesson at your side throughout the years.
ăCAITLYN
She was ignorant towards your judgment from the start, especially as she was able to analyze very quickly that you weren't all you claimed you were. You were too smart, too fast, too aware of everything. It was clear that you already knew how her life story especially would come to an end. But that didn't mean that she'd always listen to you.
Caitlyn believed to know better, even going as far as to protest against your word, which she had learned to be fate itself. And sometimes she'd nearly get away with her life, and on others, you'd be the one to show up just in time to save her. It was embarrassing and at times even near humiliating, but you never judged her, just silently left every time she attempted to confront you.
And this time she had finally succeeded.
Now dressed in a formal uniform, she watched your still form stare out of a window in her estate, as though you weren't practically trespassing. But Caitlyn was used to that. "It's going to rain soon. I wonder if the construction workers will get done with the restoration on time today before the first drops fall." The navy haired woman came to stand next to you, ears finely tuned to your calming voice she had heard in her dreams and mind for so many years. It felt surreal to stand next to you at last.
"You already know the answer... but I think Mother will send out guards soon to retrieve them." Her mother, who had only narrowly escaped her death, if it wasn't for you. She had only gotten a little injured from falling debris, but that was all that happened. All of the councilors and people in the building had survived the Jinx attack. No grave injuries. All because you prevented it by throwing Jinx slightly off balance enough to make her shot not as precise.
"... Thank you." "For what?" The right answer would be absolutely everything, but she refrained, noting that you didn't seem keen on praise. You saw it as your job. As your duty to her for a reason unknown. "For saving my mother." That should do.
You nodded at her words in acknowledgment as your eyes spied Ambessa retreating with her troops in defeat. They were practicing chased away by the council since their help was unwelcome. Served them right for meddling with the business of other nations. You had exposed their ulterior motives in secret, and that's all it took for the tide to turn against them. "Just my duty." "I knew you'd say that... but I want to reward you for all you've done. If it wasn't for you... then I... I don't want to know what I would have become."
You glanced at her with an unreadable look in your eye, and that reconfirmed her suspicions regarding how deep she would have fallen otherwise. It's best not to think of it.
Humming to yourself in thought, you gave her a small smile. "Very well, if you insist... you can treat me to some fine tea and cookies." Caitlyn weakly mirrored your grin, relief filling her senses at you accepting her offer. She was worried you wouldn't. "Of course. Follow me." Linking your arms together carefully, you made your way through the dim halls.
A chuckle left your lips when it indeed began to rain.
#arcane#arcane x reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane vi x you#arcane vi x reader#vi#vi x reader#arcane vi#arcane caitlyn x reader#arcane caitlyn#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#arcane jinx#arcane jinx x reader#jinx#jinx x reader#jinx x y/n#arcane x genderneutral reader
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atsumu opens the door to his house and is greeted by silence and a dark first floor. itâs to be expected; itâs nearly midnight, and he got stuck in traffic on the way back home from practice.
toeing off his shoes by the door, he leaves the keys to his car on the console table and uses the flashlight on his phone to help him navigate in the darkness. he climbs up the stars and hears muffled voices. it sounds like a movie.
the upstairs hallway is fairly lit, so he uses the sound to guide him to his childâs door. gently, he turns on the knob and pokes his head in. thereâs a laptop playing a childrenâs movie on the desk, a flurry of toys on the floor, and a mother and child snuggled on the bed.
âhey, sweetheart,â he greets softly, grinning when he catches his daughterâs attention and she perks up.
âmommy,â she says, tiny hands tapping her dozing motherâs cheek. âmommy, daddyâs here.â
â
âmommy,â your daughter calls again, and your eyes blearily blink open. âmommy, itâs daddy!â
you twist your head and smile sleepily when your gaze lands on your husband. âhi, tsum.â
âhi, baby,â he greets, slipping inside and dropping his gym bag by the door. he moves to sit but his daughter stops him.
âno, daddy,â she whines. âyou canât go on my bed. youâre dirty!â
you snort while he blinks, and you push yourself up to sit.
it takes him a while to process what she just said. âiâm not dirty!â atsumu protests, placing his hands on his hips. âiâm clean! i changed clothes before i left the gymââ
âno,â she says, wrinkling her nose and pointing to his bag by the door. âyou have to shower.â
âthese clothes are cleanââ
ânooooo,â she whines, slapping the cushion in frustration. âshower!â
âbut mommyâs on the bed and i wanna be on the bed, tooââ
âbut mommyâs clean!â she whines again. âshower, daddy!â she extends the r of the word shower, baring her teeth in a scowl.
his jaw drops, then he turns to gape at you. âyouâre not gonna say anything?â
you tamp down your smile and shrug. âitâs easier if you just do as she says. i had to shower before i even entered her room.â
âwhere did you learn this?â he asks, turning back to his daughter with disbelief. âi bet it was from your grandma, âcause your mom ainât as much of a neat freââ
âokay!â you interrupt him, climbing off the bed before your daughter could expand her vocabulary. âiâll make sure your dad bathes, sweetheart.â you lean down to kiss your daughterâs forehead.
âthank you, mommy,â she says sweetly, kissing your cheek.
âwhat about my kiss?â atsumu asks, shouldering his bag and frowning.
âshower first,â his daughter says resolutely.
âjesus,â atsumu mumbles under his breath, low enough that his daughter canât make it out, and you herd him to step outside the door.
you laugh when it clicks shut behind you. âitâs your bag, you know,â you mention, walking alongside him. âwhenever she sees it, thatâs when she thinks youâre dirty.â
âwhy? i spray this thing all the time with the littleââ he makes a spritzing-like motion with his fingers. âwhatâs it called? the thing you gave me.â
âdeodorizer?â
âyeah!â
âsmelling deodorized and smelling clean are different,â you point out, then point to your bedroom. âgo. shower.â
he sighs in dismay, but true to himself, he's not down for long. he wiggles his eyebrows in your direction. âcare to join me?â
you roll your eyes. ânice try. iâm gonna put your gross clothes in the laundry room.â
he brightens. âi can do that! after we shower together, that is.â
you sour. âand let the stink simmer? no way.â you reach out your hand. âgive it to me; iâll do it.â
he pouts a little. âbut itâll be more fun if we shower together!â
âno.â
âcome on! for me?â
it's almost emasculating, seeing him beg like this, but your gaze is stone cold serious. âno.â
he grumbles in defeat and hands his bag over. âfine. but just so you know, iâm not a happy husband right now and youâll need to make up for the lack of love and commitment at some point.â
âi give you plenty,â you say with finality before turning on your heel and heading down the stairs.
âyou promised for better or for worse and i am going to collect!â he calls after you.
"shower first, then we'll discuss my marital commitments."
#not event related but i thought i'd repost this since part 3 of this is holiday themed#atsumu x reader fluff#hq x reader#haikyuu x reader#x reader#haikyuu fluff#hq fluff#haikyuu fic#haikyuu x reader fluff#đ â my writing#atsumu fluff#miya atsumu x reader#atsumu x reader
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I agree with the idea of having to some time off for yourself from people/places/situations, but I think the wording of this quote can be damaging if applied to ALL of your connections.
Some things, some people, some places, some beings that are doing more harm than good are things that should be released, should be "lost." But this shouldn't be the case most of the time.
I think sometimes you do need to retreat from the bustle of life, retreat from people. But you should not withdraw yourself entirely from all stimuli (your whole world) because that can lead to isolation and depression.
I think even if you don't like socializing or people for that matter, to an extent we all need to interact with people, even if it is through a screen or even if it is through just passing friendly greetings. A lot of the joy of life comes from meaningful interactions with others.
You should not trash meaningful, healthy connections, but I am in agreement with the idea that sometimes we need a break from even good things to relearn the goodness of those cherished things, those cherished people, and those cherished places around us (or we need time to recharge because socializing/interacting/maintaining a relationship or a state can be a draining ordeal even if you do like socializing as energy is expended).
I think it's different though, if you have a duty to children/others/creatures you care for. I think you still must give them your love and care, being a parent/overseer is a full time job afterall (at least for smaller little human beings), but even with full time jobs, there is time for rest. You are not a machine. Take some time for yourself, as you cannot give from a cup that is empty (take some time to refill your cup), but do not neglect your duty to others/the little ones. Involve others, if this duty is hard to maintain. Even if it's just for a weekend, a day, so that your beloved are still getting what they need. Be it attention, food, love, or the like.
For now this is all from me. Hopefully this can help someone. I think God nudged me to write this. I felt I had to. Maybe one of His children needed it.
God Bless.
And if you reached the end of this note, thank you for reading it, thank you for your attention, even if it was just part for of it.
âTo find peace, sometimes you have to be willing to lose your connection with people, places and things that create all the noise in your life.â
â lieinlove
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-Vi x Reader
Synopsis: {The aftermath of the war seems a little more bearable with your girlfriend there by your side}
For my other works my Masterlist is here <3
need her. Enjoy my lovelies đ
ââșââ âŸââșââ ââșââ âŸââșââ ââșââ âŸââșââ ââșââ âŸââșââ ââșââ âŸ
The weeks after the war seemed to last centuries, the hours dragged on painfully slow and it felt like no matter how early you went to sleep, you could never get enough to carry you throughout the dayâ not that sleeping was easy anyway.
The council meetings were stressful, with each member bringing a mountain of different problems that were all so important in their own rightâ change needed to happen and each moment you werenât actively working was wasted, or so you say.
However the exhaustion was turning you into a mess, Vi could see it as clear as day no matter how many times you put on that sweet smile and promised her you were âfineâ with a warm hand against her cheek. You werenât fine.
Vi knew you would crash and burn sooner or later, and by the looks of you, it would be much sooner than sheâd liked.
âStupid damn thing.â You huff out in anger, hands trembling in a mixture of pain and frustration as you try to open the gauzeâ the damn plastic concealing it might as well have been superglued together and your hands just wonât steady themselves enough to get a good hold.
You grasp at the edges of the sink basin, giving up, the porcelain cold against your clammy hands. It was a slight relief, but not enough. With a ragged breath, you drop your head slightly to avert your gaze from your reflection in the mirror. You couldnât take it, between your injured eye and the ache in your head, you felt as if you were teetering on the line of insanity.
âHere, let me.â The sound of Viâs soft voice ripples through the tension that clouds you, her calloused hand presses against your upper back and you sigh in something akin to relief.
A strange feeling of embarrassment curls around your already weary heart, how long has she been standing thereâ watching you crumble?
You shake your head stubbornly, âI can do it myself,â you tell her, in faux confidenceâ trying to convince yourself, biting down on the inside of your bottom lip as you try to regain control.
You take the gauze packet in your hands once more before tugging it open harshly, your elbow collides into the bottle of antiseptic causing it to hit the tiled floor with a bounce. It felt like the universe was testing you, laughing at how you kept failing.
âI know you can, just let me take care of you for once, yeah?â Vi whispers, picking up the antiseptic bottle and placing it down on the countertopâ her hand falling from your shoulder blade to rest on the small of your back.
But you were so tightly coiled with your own maelstrom of emotions that you continue to try and push her away, her hand fighting yours in a push and pull. You didnât want her to see you like this, you were better than this.
âI can doââ
âStop it, stop. Iâm helping you.â She interrupts you with a sternness in her tone that it takes you aback slightly.
You nod reluctantly, caving in with a shaky sigh as you let her turn you around to face her by your hips, your lower back resting up against the sink countertop and she notices the way you avoid her gaze, it hurts her a little.
A silence settles between the pair of you as Vi takes off the gauze that covers your eyeâ revealing the patch that protected the sensitive wound from possible infection. Her knuckles brush along your cheek so tenderly that you canât help but lean into her touch, it was almost an instinct at this point.
âItâs ugly,â you state, looking up at her through your eyelashes as you watch her frown in disagreement with your words, a small scoff escaping her lips.
âItâs notâ itâs healing, youâre not ugly.â She tells you, a gentle firmness dancing through her tone as she continues to admire you through loving eyes and your shoulders dropâ itâd been far too long since you let yourself relax, the ache in between your shoulders could attest to that.
âBesides it adds to your flair.â She adds with a small smirk.
âMy flair?â You repeat through a breathy chuckle, rolling your eye as a smile begins to teeter against your lips. It felt good to have her like this, gently stroking your face, standing close to you⊠it felt good to lean on her for support.
Viâs own smile widens at the sound of your chuckle, such a sweet noise that sends a wave of comfort through her chest. Even though you were exhausted and in pain, you still managed to make her heart bleed in all the best ways, although if sheâs being completely honest it doesnât take much at all for you to bring that out in her.
âMhm, yep, it adds a certain charm.â She nods confidently, her fingertips gently grazing along your cheekbone to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
âIt also makes the easiest things feel impossible, everything just feels off.â You sigh, tilting your head to nuzzle against the roughness of her palm ever so slightly.
A sympathetic look flashes through her pretty eyes, god knows it was trueâ too many times had she watched you lose your cool over what used to be 'simple things' as you familiarised yourself with the loss of sight. Her heart broke for you, she hated seeing you like this and she hated not being able to do more for you, to just take all your pain away.
âI know baby, I knowâ but youâre handling it like a champ,â Vi whispers, letting her hand drop from her face to grab a clean gauze pad, her eyes flickering between yours and her hands as she readies the fabricâ offering you a small reassuring smile.
With careful fingers she places the gauze over your eye, securing it down with medical tape and she winces as you suck a sharp hiss from your clenched teeth, your eyebrows knitting together in painâ Vi quickly pulls her hands away, not wanting to cause you any more pain with a soft âSorry, sorry,ââ but youâre quick to hold her hands in your own, giving them both a comforting squeeze.
âItâs okay,â you promise her, looking at her with a faint pleading in your gazeâ wordlessly begging her to hold you and not let go, to not pull away, and immediately she knows what you want. She could read you like an open book.
So without a modicum of hesitation, she loops her strong arms around your shoulders to bring you close to her bodyâ wrapping you up in a protective hold and you could practically feel the heaviness on your shoulders lessen as you melt into her with a small pitiful noise that makes her heart clench.
âYouâre not aloneâ you donât have to do this all by yourself, Iâm right here.â She seals the promise with a gentle kiss against your hairline before cupping either side of your face, tilting your head backwards slightly so she can meet your gaze.
Vi watches the way your eye flutters close in contentment when she strokes your cheeks with her thumbsâ your fingers grasping at the fabric of her tank top almost as if you were afraid she would slip between your fingers.
But lo and behold she doesnât, sheâs standing right in front of you, cupping your face, with such a reverent expression it causes your breath to hitch in your throat and you think you would cry if you had the energy to.
âVi,â you breathe softly, a sob threatening to spill over your lips which you conceal with a sigh as she bumps her forehead against your ownâ her hand rests against the side of your neck before slowly slipping to cup the back of your head, fingertips dragging along your scalp soothingly.
âIâve got you, right here.â She replies in understanding, pressing her lips to your own in a loving kissâ one that dismantles you completely and youâre finally ready to admit you needed sleep and a day of rest⊠or maybe two, Vi would be there to ensure it.
ââșââ âŸââșââ ââșââ âŸââșââ ââșââ âŸââșââ ââșââ âŸââșââ ââșââ âŸ
#vi arcane#vi league of legends#vi x y/n#vi x you#vi x reader#vi fic#vi fluff#vi fanfic#vi imagines#arcane#arcane vi#arcane x reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#violet x reader#violet arcane#vi oneshot#wlw fanfic#wlw x reader#wlw#wlw post#sapphic#lesbian#arcane fic#arcane fanfic#arcane fluff#arcane imagine#arcane violet#league of legends#league of legends x reader
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your hand in my pocket to keep us both warm
post 8x08 because i'm SAD in a way that can only be eased with buddie hurt/comfort đ title from abstract (psychopomp) by hozier
-
Buck is the one to drive him to the airport because who else would it be?
It feels a lot like deja vu as he approaches the glass doors of Departures but his step only falters for a moment before Eddieâs hand is catching his sleeve at the elbow and leading him through them. Itâs further than Abby ever let him get.
Eddie lets him go as far the security line and he almost looks regretful when he turns to face Buck.
Buck would like to think heâs handled this well so far. Heâs been supportive, helped Eddie choose his new home, listened to his fears about his parents, reassured him about Christopher, promised to oversee the shipping of the rest of Eddieâs stuff next week. Heâs done everything right.
It hasnât made any of this feel less wrong.
They look at each other now, awkward in a way they never are, until Eddie drops his bag and pulls him into a hug without saying anything.
Maybe because thereâs nothing to say. Buckâs heart has been lodged in his throat since he parked the car; heâs not even sure he could say anything if he wanted to.
Eddieâs arms around him are a familiar weight though so Buck allows himself to sink into them. To tuck his chin into the crook of Eddieâs shoulder and to fist his hands in the back of his jacket like if he holds on tight enough he might be able to convince Eddie to stay.
When Eddie does pull back he makes no attempt to leave the circle of Buckâs arms. Instead one of his hands goes to that same spot at the juncture of Buckâs neck â always the same spot â and when his thumb makes contact with the divot in Buckâs throat he seeks out Buckâs gaze.
âHey,â he murmurs. âDonât look at me like that.â
âLike what?â Buck croaks, the tell-tale burn behind his eyes becoming more pronounced by the second.
âLike Iâm Abby,â Eddie sighs. âOr Ali. Or Tommy. Iâm not leaving you, Buck.â
Buck tries to laugh but it comes out too hysterical and Eddieâs hand tightens on his neck.
âIâm leaving,â he allows. âBut Iâm not leaving you.â
âI donât know what Iâm gonna do without you,â Buck says, the words wobbling in the middle. His hands are still twisted in Eddieâs jacket.
âAnd you think I do?â Eddie asks with a half-laugh. âWho am I gonna talk to when my folks are driving me crazy? Who am I gonna talk to when I do anything? Besides, you think Chris will accept you not visiting at least once a month?â
Truthfully, Buck has no idea what Chris wants right now but he clings to Eddieâs words anyway.
âEveryone at work is gonna find me insufferable. It was bad enough that last time you werenât there.â
Eddie laughs again, thumb brushing Buckâs neck seemingly absentmindedly. âNo they wonât. And Iâll be on Facetime so much itâll be like I never left.â
Buck ducks his head but nods anyway, gathering up the courage to say what he wants to say next. âI know you have to go,â he starts, steeling himself as he makes himself meet Eddieâs gaze. âBut please donât go forever.â
Eddieâs expression blanks, his mouth parting over nothing. Buck can only stare back, hoping that just this once it might be different. That he wonât get a, âTake care of yourself, Buck,â and a hand to the cheek before the person in front of him disappears forever.
Eddie doesnât touch his cheek. Instead he presses their foreheads together hard enough to hurt, hard enough to make Buckâs breath catch and rush out of him on a shaky exhale.
âI wonât. I promise,â Eddie breathes and his hand moves from Buckâs neck to the back of Buckâs head and Buck canât help wondering for a moment what would happen if he closed the distance between them. If Eddie would kiss him back.
Itâs not a thought heâs ever entertained before but heâs thinking it now and it feelsâŠlike it makes sense. Like an inevitability.
And what a time to have a realisation like that.
Eddie leans back then and Buck forces himself to unclench his hands, attempting to smooth out the back of Eddieâs jacket with trembling hands.
âYou should go,â he says because Eddie wonât.
Eddie nods faintly in agreement and it looks like it takes every ounce of effort for him to take a step back. Buck picks up his bag for him, offers it to him, and tries for a weak smile so Eddie will know itâs okay. That he can go and Buck wonât cause a scene.
âIâll call you as soon as I get to my parents place.â
Buck nods. âGive Chris a hug for me.â
âI will.â
Eddie starts looking towards the security line again and Buck blurts out, âTell him I love him.â
Eddie looks back to him, a devastating smile of understanding on his face. âHe knows already. But I will.â
Buck nods again and then thereâs nothing left to say. Eddie turns to go and Buck does the same because he canât watch until heâs out of sight. It hurts too much already and he can barely hold his tears back as it is.
He doesnât need to watch himself get left behind again.
~
Heâs just unlocking his car when his phone rings. He doesnât check who it is as he climbs in, just shoves the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he reaches for his seatbelt.
âKeep me company while I wait for my flight?â
He straightens so quickly the phone almost falls into his lap but he catches it just in time. And he tries to laugh but he thinks it might come out more like a sob. âKeep me company on the drive home?â
âAlways,â Eddie says like theyâre driving home from work after a long shift.
Buck switches his phone to speaker mode and looks down at the keys in his hand, at the keys to the loft, Maddieâs place and Eddieâs house respectively, considering his options before turning on the ignition.
âSo thereâs the guy at the gate-â Eddie starts and Buck lets the sound of his voice wash over him. Allows himself just one singular moment where he closes his eyes and holds his hand to his chest before he pulls himself together and drives out of his space.
Eddie is offering him a play by play of the guy at the gate whoâs insisting his luggage is not chirping and Buck gets his breath back enough to make a quip about how that made it through the security scanner.
When he reaches the freeway it takes hardly any thought at all for him to take the exit thatâll get him to the Diaz house fastest.
Heâs going home after all.
~
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For Me?
Vi x Piltover! Reader
Vi deserves the world and a partner that cares about her. Being from Zaun comes with its insecurities when being with someone from Piltover. Luckily, you know exactly how to counter them.
A/N: You guys wont have to worry about that much angst from me for a while, I need to cope from act 3 by giving Vi the best life possible and all the fluff imaginable because oh my god??
There were times when youâd think back to when and how you and your girlfriend met for the first time. Such a chance of it happening was very slim given you two belonged to two different cities, you Piltover, her Zaun. You never thought the girl who rammed into you after fleeing from an explosion from an unauthorized lab would one day come back into your life.Â
The story of your reunion however was quite the convoluted one. Once again, a meeting set by nothing but pure fate and chance.Â
You werenât supposed to be at Zaun at the time. In fact, you werenât supposed to be in Zaun at all. You went on your own, against your family's wishes, for the sake of immersing yourself in a culture that is not your own. You were raised to believe that the people of the undercity were monsters, the filth under Piltover's feet, nothing more than animals. It never felt right to you, there had to be more to it. After all, they were people too.
So, you went to see for yourself how awful these âanimalsïżœïżœ really were.Â
You knew better than to walk in expecting everything to be rainbows and unicorns, but you refused to let go of your optimism as you traveled around the labyrinth like maze of streets and alleyways.Â
It wasnât until the smell of a peculiar type of food filled your senses.Â
You didnât know what it was, it was very different from anything you had ever tried before, so you decided to check it out. Â
Once there, you were greeted by a fairly jolly fish-like man with a large smile. He laughed heartily, gesturing for you to take a seat and gave you a list of things to choose from. There were so many options, you had no idea where to start, and it wasnât until you heard someone else set directly beside you did you finally have an idea.Â
You looked to your left and were quickly met with a head of bright pink hair. Quite a unique shade which you couldâve sworn youâd seen before, but you brushed the thought off. There were probably plenty of people with the same hair color, besides if thereâs one thing you knew not to do in Zaun, it was to stare.Â
You heard one of them, a woman, order something specific off of the fish manâs list, whom she referred to as Jericho. He happily took her order before turning to her friend who denied wanting anything, and then turning back to you.Â
âIâll have the same.â You said with a polite smile. Jericho nodded before turning around and getting right to work. As you waited, you couldnât help but sneak a glance at the girl next to you once again, there was something familiar about her despite her back being turned to you for the most part.Â
That was until her friend noticed you staring and began to pull her hood over her eyes which grabbed the pink haired girl's attention. She quickly turned around to face you with an angered look on her face, clearly ready to fight if need be.
âCan I help y-â She began, but before she could finish it finally clicked with you.Â
âYouâre the girl.â You whispered, having not realized that maybe saying that to a girl who looked, for lack of a better phrase, like she could rock your shit, probably was not a good idea.
âIâm sorry?â She asked, clearly confused, but still clearly not happy about your interruption.
âThat girl, from the explosion, that was you.âÂ
Her reaction to your realization was less than friendly, and you couldnât blame her. You hadnât known at the time but she had just gotten out of jail for that same crime. She didnât know who you were, she didnât know what you wanted, and she didnât want to involve herself with more pilties than she needed.Â
And yet despite everything, here she was, now living with you on her days when she wasnât in Zaun. You had quite the rocky start in the beginning but you became useful to her quest for her sister, and the more time you spent with her, the closer you two got. At first she was a bit standoffish, not believing someone from topside was capable of showing so much empathy, if any. Yet somehow you proved her wrong. You chipped away at that stone wall she built around her heart all those years away in prison and became one of the few things she coveted most.Â
You two didnât live together all the time, but your house was always open to her as you had now managed to move away from your parents. You knew Vi could never stay topside for too long, and youâd never ask her to do such. So there were a few days here and there where she would stay with you, then go back to the undercity to continue to help out, then come back up with you.
Now today was the day for Vi to come back, so you decided to surprise her to the best of your ability with the dish she got from Jericho the day you two met once again. It was quite a feat that required you to go to the undercity a fair amount of times to visit Jericho and ask for help. Luckily the sweet man was more than happy to let you in on a few of his trade secrets for the sake of a thoughtful gift.Â
You werenât the biggest fan of this type of food, youâve tried it on more than one occasion, but it very clearly wasnât for you.Â
But it was what Vi liked so that was enough.Â
As you continued to cook, you heard your door open, without even needing to look you knew it was your partner walking through the door.
âWelcome back.â You greeted warmly.Â
Just then, You felt two hands wriggle around your waist before the weight of her head rested on your shoulder. She tilted her head slightly, her face now moving towards your neck, enough for you to feel the light feeling of her breath wafting over your neck.Â
You ignored the feeling to the best of your ability but you couldnât ignore the small smile that made its way to your face, this of course didnât go unnoticed by Vi as she mumbled against your neck,Â
âWhat are you making?â She asked, pressing her body a bit more into yours. She had a tendency to be clingy after being away for long periods of time, which you didnât mind.Â
âSomething new. Just got the recipe, I think youâll like it.â You said with a smile, which earned a short chuckle from your girlfriend who turned to begin peppering light kisses against your neck.
âIf itâs made by you Sunshine, of course I will.â She said sweetly, despite the fact she was trying to âdiscreetlyâ distract you. It wasnât actually very discreet but she thought it was and you werenât going to correct her.
âIt smells familiar.â She said quietly after pausing for a moment to look back over your shoulder.
âMeans Iâm doing something right then.â You said happily, glad that it was going well. Her confirmation that she at the very least was beginning to recognize it was enough to motivate you to continue. However despite your motivation it was clear your girlfriend still had other plans in mind.Â
Her hands slowly began to move their way up from your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as her face remained by your neck.Â
âCan I at least finish the food first?â You asked with a laugh as your left hand went up to lightly brush against Viâs face, acknowledging what she was trying to do.Â
She once again mumbled quietly against you before finally pulling away.Â
âFine.â She said with an overly dramatic sigh before continuing,Â
âYouâre no fun.â She teased as her hands slowly, reluctantly, left your sides as she moved to the counter next to the stove you were using to cook. She leaned the back of her waist against it, her arms crossed in front of her chest, as she looked at you with a look you could only describe as a lighthearted pout.
âSave that for later you just got back. You have to eat first.â You said in a somewhat stern manner, not looking away from the food cooking in front of you.Â
âWho says I canât have a bit of dessert first?âÂ
âVi!â You exclaimed as you walked her softly with a cloth that you had placed by the stove. She laughed, a full genuine laugh, which she felt like she could only do near you. You were the only one to really bring it out of her at this point.Â
âJust⊠go sit down, the food is almost done.â You instructed, turning back to the food as she chuckled once again before walking back towards you. Her hand made its way back to your waist once again as she leaned towards your ear,
âCanât wait.â She whispered cheekily before giving you a quick kiss on the cheek and walking towards the dining room.Â
You, being from a family who had lived in Piltover for quite some time, were able to afford a house with multiple furnished rooms with ease. It always threw Vi off just the slightest bit, the difference in what the two of you grew up with. It got to her more than sheâd like to admit. A few times she believed herself to be holding you back, you came from a life of glittering buildings, and she came from nothing but metal scraps.Â
You were so different and yet you always managed to remind her that it didnât matter. She loved you for you and you loved her for her, wherever you came from had no effect on that.
Vi sat down in one of the few chairs in your dining room, looking around at the paintings that littered the walls, her previous thoughts remaining on her mind before she was interrupted by a plate of food entering her view and landing in front of her.
âTada!â You exclaimed into the silent room, the only other sound being that of the plate lightly hitting the table. Vi sat in silence for a moment as she looked down at the food before her, it took her a moment before she recognized it.
âWait. Did you-â She began to ask.
âFind the recipe to your favorite dish from your favorite food stand? Maybe.â You responded with a proud smile as you sat down in the chair next to her, eager to have her try it.Â
âHow did you get the stuff for it?â
âWell, I visited a friend.â You said with a shrug. Vi looked towards you, her eyes wide with shock. As each moment passed she realized just how much effort went into this one dish.
âYou hate this kind of stuff, why would you-â
âCause I know you like it and I wanted to make it for you.â You said simply as you placed your hand atop hers.
Suddenly Vi couldnât think of a response. Her sudden silence worried you almost, was she mad? Was she upset at you?Â
You then looked at her eyes and watched as they softened, the powder blue irises glistened as water lightly began to form in them.
âHoly shit.â She said quietly, entirely taken aback as she sat back in her chair. For someone with such a tough exterior you could see the walls slightly begin to crack as she looked down at the food before her. It meant more than the world to her that you had put so much effort into something she liked, for her, and for no other reason.Â
Just because you cared.
It had been a long time since Vi had been truly reminded she was loved. Just having such a simple yet, such a powerful reminder in the middle of nowhere by the one person she truly loved was almost disorienting. You went out of your way to get ingredients you couldn't get easily in Piltover, a recipe you had to go to a specific stand for, her favorite stand no less, and then put it all together?
âVi?â You asked quietly, your other hand going up the cup to her face so she would look at you a bit more as you looked at her with a bit of concern. You didnât expect such an emotional reaction from your gesture that you were worried you had done something wrong.
âAre you o-â
Before you could finish your question, Vi had turned to you quickly and engulfed you in a hug. This took you completely by surprise. In the time that you and Vi had been together, more often than not when it came to specifically hugging, you were the one to initiate. She just never seemed like the hugging type unless it was an occasion where she truly meant it.
And in this case, she did.Â
âThank you, Sunshine.â She said quietly as she squeezed just a bit tighter. Your hands rested against her back as you smiled, feeling as if you had done a job well done even without her trying her dish. You knew Vi had been through a lot over the years and while you didnât know the full extent of everything just yet, you knew you could at least try to offer her some sort of comfort. So thatâs what you strived for and it seems like that's what you succeeded to do.Â
Once she pulled back from the hug, you reached up to wipe her tears, the smile still present on your face as you spoke.Â
âWell, are you gonna try it?â You asked, to which she smiled and let out a slight chuckle. She then eagerly turned back around towards her plate and dug in as she usually did in the undercity. She knew you didnât care about the messy nature that often came with Zaun cuisine, even if it wasnât what you were raised on, it meant a lot to her that you at least tried it out. With one taste she immediately released a sound of pure bliss and dove back in for more.
You laughed, knowing that was Viâs way of saying you had done a perfect job, even if she didnât pause from her eating to just tell you so herself.Â
#unoislazy#x reader#fanfiction#fanfic#xreader fanfic#i love my wife#vi arcane#vi x reader#arcane vi#i love vi#arcane x reader#i love arcane#arcane x female reader#vi x y/n#vi x you#arcane x gender neutral reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#vi x fem reader#arcane fanfic#x reader fanfiction#x readers#x female y/n#x female reader#x fem!reader#vi my beloved#fluff#vi fluff
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I see him in the back of my mind, all the time.
This fic came to me in a dream, woke up crying.
You couldnât help but feel abandoned, left behind to deal with the onslaught of emotions all by yourself as your eyes remained firmly on where Viktor once was before the arcane consumed him whole.
The war was over but the hollow feeling within your chest only grew stronger when seeing loved ones reunite in fits of hysterical tears and bone crushing embraces, the lump in your throat got worse as the ache in your heart had something missing, someone missing that made it beat faster than normal. There was nothing Viktor left behind of his existence besides from his cane that you kept tightly clutched within your hand, mimicking the way heâd love tap the ground with it, as though you were trying to prove to no one in particular who cared that he still exists.
Silent tears seemed to flow endlessly down your cheeks as you wandered through the hallways of the Academy, and yet you felt numb, cold like you were already long dead and didnât know it just yet as even your fingers felt cold to the touch, but you didnât know whether that was from the biting cold wind or something else entirely. You didnât care either as your reason for caring and for loving every aspect of life was taken away from you, taking your beating heart with him as he did and you didnât know whether to hate him or love him even harder for giving you the best moments of your life, memories that seemed to all play out before you as you entered the now empty laboratory.
You could still hear the laughter and the scolding echo as though the walls with complex equations scrawled upon them had harboured the essence of the people who once worked diligently to the point of physical exhaustion. Your throat clenched again you delved deeper into the lab with one place in mind like you were being pulled towards it by an unseen force; Viktorâs workbench that had now upon closer inspection had a fine layer of dust settling over it, something he wouldâve never let happen despite the tendency to leave his things scattered everywhere he pleased but still become cutely annoyed when he couldnât find them.
However there seemed to be one thing that the dust refused to touch, a broach. Your brows furrowed as you looked at it confused, what was a broach doing in a place like this? It looked like it was made a while back but yet had a polish to it that made it seemed like it was made only recently. You knew Viktor didnât wear broaches so seeing such an item on his workbench specifically was leaving you more questions then answers, questions that were soon answered when you noticed a small note underneath it, scrawled with Viktorâs usual chicken scratch writing;
âFor my dearest muse, for I will always be with you, always - Viktor.â
You clutched the cane tighter now as the pain within your chest almost made you collapse on the floor. This broach was for you. Viktor made it for you and never had the chance to give it to you, or perhaps he was waiting for the right moment to do so, but fate decided to be cruel and change the trajectory of your life for the worst; the common con when you happened to fall in love with a scientist determined to make a change. You sighed unevenly as you reach for the broach, your fingers closing over the cold metal of it while gingerly lifting it off the workbench, holding it up to your face so that you could take in the details of Viktorâs most beautiful creation.
The broach had a decent weight to it, not too light where you could easily crush it within your hand, but not too hard where it was proven difficult in your hand for prolonged periods of time. It was beautifully done as on the front of the broach was a an intricate design of a mechanical Blue Jay bird. You ran your thumb across the bird to feel the engravings that made it beneath your finger tips. The bird began to glow a vibrant blue, making you jolt a little, and the broach opened up to show itâs insides to you as a soft melody began to play from some hidden component within the broach.
The moment the first notes of the soft melody hits your ears the tears that had stilled in you moment of curiosity began to fall once more, this was the song that you had told Viktor once upon a time ago was your favourite, and so for him to make you this broach with your favourite bird on the front and your beloved song on the inside, youâve never felt more loved by a man such as him. Yet you couldnât run to him and kiss him senseless, not anymore, which made the broach itself a reminder that even if he was long gone you were the last thing on his mind.
âOh Viktor.â Your voice came out weak as a sob broke from your lips as memories resurfaced as the melody continued its tune just for you.
âŠ
âViktor!â You burst in the lab, making him jolt as he looked over at you with what he wanted to be conveyed as annoyance but came across as a cute pout in your eyes.
âMy dear how often must I tell you not to burst in here so abruptly and without warning, what if something went wrong and you had gotten hurt.â Viktor scolds as you merely shrug and moved over to his side to look over his shoulder, trying to see what he was working on, only for him to move it slightly away from your line of sight.
âWeâre both alive arenât we?â You said sarcastically and Viktor sighs as a small smile graced his lips as his amber eyes looked back at you with the warmth you always use to being greeted with. âYou truly fear nothing my love but the next time you pull sometime like that youâre banned from entering the lab for the rest of the week.â He says warningly as he points his wielding tool at you to emphasise his point.
You leaned over to kiss his forehead. âDuly noted my love but can I see what youâre working on? Or is it a secret for me to find later?â You then ask as you once again tried to see what he was making, and once again Viktor move it away from your curious eyes, making you pout once more as you looked at him pleadingly.
Viktor sighs, your curiosity was never ending and while he would indulge you on his creations, he couldnât do so for this one. This broach was his most ambitious project thus far and it was a project he has dedicated to you a long time ago the moment you both sat at the docks, hearing a harmonious melody within the wind as you admitted that it was your favourite.
It was that moment where Viktor decided to make something that you could keep on your being forever and thus project blue jay broach was underway. He was halfway done with it, all he had to do was finished wielding some components on the inside that would play the melody the moment the broach was opened, then he would move onto engraving the blue jay on the front as a final touch to a months long work in progress. âPractice your patience and you shall find out what it is soon enough my muse.â He says softly as he kisses the back of your hand.
âAlright keeps your secrets, Iâll find out sooner or later.â You said as you crossed your arms over your chest.
Viktor raised a playful brow. âIs that a threat or a promise my muse?â He asks.
You shrugged your shoulders. âWhy not both.â You said and Viktor laughs which makes you smile in response, feeling your chest warm as you looked at him, vowing to treasure this beautiful man for the rest of your life.
âŠ
âI know itâs not much but I wanted to make you somethingâŠI know itâs not the best but-â
âI love it my muse.â Viktor starts as he takes the gift off of your hand, cradling it within his own as he looked over the amateur wielding and more so at the love and effort youâve put into making this just for him.
You looked between him and the bird that youâve made for him on a whim one day, wanting to repay him for loving you as he did in a way heâd recognise, even if you werenât familiar with it youâd give it a try just to see him smile that gorgeous smile of his that made his amber eyes seem to brighten.
âReally? You mean that?â You asked and Viktor brushed his hand against your arm softly, stopping to hold your hand and squeeze it reassuringly.
âUnequivocally my love. It possess a uniqueness that is undoubtedly yours and yours alone.â He replies while pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
âThatâs a poetic way of saying that itâs made by an amateur who can barely wield shit without almost hurting themselves.â You muttered under your breath as you rested your head against his shoulder. Viktor chuckles as he puts aside the mechanical bird on his workbench in order to hold you against him as he rests his head atop of yours.
âIf itâs any consolation itâs a well made creation for an amateur wielder.â He says, smiling to himself when he hears you muffled groan. He wishes to stay like this forever if he could, just have you in his arms for all of eternity until that eternity fades to nothing, and it was just you two locked in the moment in the blanket of never ending darkness.
âI hate you.â You say.
âI love you too my muse.â Viktor replies as he presses a kiss to the side of your head.
âŠ
âViktor?â You asked.
âYes my love?â He replies, looking at you.
âDo you think weâre together in every universe?â You then looked at him, finding him more beautiful than any star that hung in the sky before you.
Viktor makes a face full of thought before letting his hand find yours, squeezing it as he presses a kiss to the back of it. âOf course my love, for what would I be without you to be my muse, my confidant and my anchor.â His face then becomes one of seriousness as he leans so that his forehead touches yours. âDo you believe that weâre together in every universe?â
âWithout a doubt.â You answered back, kissing his lips. âI donât think I could live in a reality where you donât exist my beautiful Viktor.â You add as you started deeply into his amber eyes, watching them soften in relief as Viktor reciprocated your kiss with one of his own.
âWhat a coincidence I was thinking the exact same thing my muse.â Viktor whispers softly to you as he kisses you once more. You held the back of his head to keep him close as the stars watched you both display your love for one another in the most innocent way possible.
âŠ
Mel wondered down the hallway but as she was about to pass the lab, she heard the soft melody coming from it and stopped to peek through the open doorway. Sat fast asleep on Viktorâs chair, body splayed uncomfortably across his dust covered workbench, was you and she couldnât help but smile sympathetically for you, after all you had just lost the love of your life before your very eyes and with no plausible way of getting him back.
What was making the melody Mel did find as her eyes landed on the open broach within your hand, Viktorâs final gift to you as it hummed the melody for the fifth time. It was a beautiful song Mel thought to herself as she moved next to you, resting her hand over your shoulder as she heard you softly mutter in your sleep. âIâm sorry Viktor. I love you.â
âI know he loves you too.â Mel replied as she reached over and closed the broach in your hand, seeing the mechanical engraving on the cover as she did so before pressing a kiss to the top of your head, wanting nothing more then let you sleep and be with Viktor in the land of dreams as she moved to walk back out the door. Mel looks back at you once more and in a moment of nostalgia overcame her she saw Viktor sleeping in that very chair instead of you. He was clutching his cane the same way you did and in that moment it looked as though your hands were touching; together intertwined in the smallest of things.
Viktor would always be with you, always.
#arcane#arcane imagines#arcane imagine#arcane x reader#arcane x you#arcane x y/n#viktor x you#viktor imagines#viktor imagine#viktor x reader#viktor arcane
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Paring: Detective OâConnor (hallucinating Agatha) x Reader
Summary: When your mother gets out of town, you grudgingly accept to take care of the townâs lunatic.
A/N: So this is dedicated to this anon, itâs VERY different from what I have written for Agatha so far, but I hope you like anyway!
This isnât beta read and english isnât my native language, so bear with me.
Warnings: Mental instability, face slapping, bondage, dubious consent, dildo, teasing/edging
Word count: 3k
Date: Nov 25, 2024
Comments are always welcome and if you donât wish to be identified, my ask is open!
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Tag list: @yourbasicqueerie @harknessshi @hannah-0730 @diorrxckstar @lady-darkswan3 @neverfindmegone @imorynn @its-chickenwing-450 @seaoflittlefires @anyasivy
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Wandaâs spell had changed Westview.Â
Aside from the obvious altered psychological state of the citizens, the town's sense of community had blossomed and the shared trauma had brought them together. The witch's magic had left a lasting scar and people were empathetic for anyone affected by it.Â
Agnes OâConnor, or whatever her name was.Â
Sheâs been a good neighbor for the past three years, slightly nosy, but clearly under some sort of mental control. Lately, though, sheâs been acting differently. Your mother is one of the people whoâs been lending a helping hand. Buying her groceries, visiting to make sure she is eating and bathing, and despite the odd conversation, she has been fine on her own.
Not that your mother would listen. She is invested in being some sort of babysitter and drag you along. Youâve managed to stray from the role, but, when your mother left town for business, you had promised to take care of the town's loony.Â
The day's warmth gives way to a chilly breeze, the settling sun makes an orange hue in the sky and you try to balance the grocery bag while opening the wood door. Unfortunately for you, the neighborhood has a barter system and today is your family's turn to make sure everything is in order.Â
Walking in, you take a minute to look around, the place is beautiful and dark, everything matches and you wonder what is Agathaâs doing and what is somebody elseâs. You had never stepped foot in the house and it impressed you.Â
Locking the door behind you and navigating to the kitchen, you set the bag down on the counter and call out.Â
âAgnes? My mother asked me to bring you some groceries.âÂ
Silence follows your statement. Â
âHello?â You say louder.
Fuck. What if she had run away?Â
Taking a deep breath, you decide to inspect the house before freaking out. Walking back to the entryway, you glance up the stairs and back into the living room. The place appears to be empty and you strain your ears in an attempt to hear any kind of noise. The house seems uninhabited and you conclude that upstairs is the next place to look for her.
âHello? Anyone home?â You shout uncertainty, taking a step.
Your head is full of worry as you walk up the stairs. Youâve never seen Agnes after her psychotic breakdown, you donât know what to expect. People from the neighborhood had said she was harmless, but you had no way of knowing. Either way, even if that were the case, it wouldnât look good for you if you somehow lost her.Â
The wooden floor creaks beneath your feet and darkness engulfs the hallway. Taking a quick peek at the open doors, you face up the end of the corridor, the place you assume it's the bedroom. Guiding yourself with the moonlight streaming in through the open window, you carefully enter the space. The curtain moves with the wind and you relax a friction, there is clearly no one here.Â
As scared as you are, you barely have time to process the thought of Agnes' disappearance before feeling an impact against your back. Falling into the bed, you try calming your racing heart and, scared, you quickly turn around to see the back of a figure as it walks and settles into an armchair, turning on the lampshade beside her.Â
Squinting your eyes against the yellow light that consumes the room, you take her in. Her legs are spread open, she wears a long sleeved shirt with a boner joke saying: âBohoner family reunion. Pitch a tent.â, black sweatpants finish the look while her hair is pulled down in a ponytail. Her face is stern and she looks like a complete lunatic.Â
âSit up.â She commands.Â
Afraid of an unpredictable reaction, you do as she says.Â
The cushion feels soft under your thighs as you settle in the mattress. She ranks her eyes over your figure before leaning back, arms crossed over her chest. Thereâs some kind of hose head in her hip.Â
âIâm curious. What compelled you to break into the home of a decorated detective?â
âWhat?â You blurt out immediately.
âIâm not playing games, little girl. You better answer me.âÂ
You fridge under her gaze, trying to understand the mental episode sheâs having. Your mother mentioned that Agnes was having some sort of hallucination, but you never guessed this. Does she think she is some kind of cop?
She places her elbows on her knees and leans forward, waiting for your response.
âI- My mother asked me to bring you some groceries.â You explain carefully.
âDon't lie to me.â Narrowing her eyes, she stands up and searches for something in her drawer. âYou wonât like the results.â
You glance at the door and prepare to make an escape. Barely having time to place your foot down and run, you feel a hand on your shoulder pushing you down and making you freeze when you sense her breath ghosting against your temples.Â
âYou better not try that. Iâm assuming you donât want to spend the night in the tank.â A glimpse of her hands makes you shake your head, sheâs carrying a rope and a silver tape.Â
âGood.â She stands in front of you and grabs your chin to look up at her. âNow, what were you after?â
You look around for something that might help you in this situation. âI was just bringing you groceriesâŠâ You whisper.Â
âDonât play dumb.â Her hands squeeze your cheeks harshly.Â
God, this is the craziest talk youâve ever had.Â
âLook Agnes, you might be a little confused. How about I put you to bed and let you get some sleep?â You grab her wrist, trying to loosen her grip.Â
She slaps you across the face, hard enough to leave a sting behind.Â
She leans in close and says. âDo you think you have the right to touch me?â
The hit leaves you angry enough to turn and shout. âYOU ARE NOT A DETECTIVE.âÂ
Maybe itâs time to put her in a mental institution.Â
She scoffs and grabs the rope at her side. âDo you know what we used to do to mouthy things like you back at the academy?âÂ
Your eyes widen and you stay rooted in place, running crosses your mind once again, but you push it aside, it would be worse if she tackled you to the ground. They do say crazy people have more strength than usual.Â
She stretches the cord out in front of you and smirks, seizing your arms and tying them in front of you. Maybe it would be better if you played into her fantasy.Â
âIâm sorry, Detective OâConner.â Your entire demeanor changes and you beg. âPlease, it was just a prank, my friends put me to it.âÂ
She has a side smile and doesn't look into your face, completely focused on her task.Â
âOh, now you are being cooperative. Scared?âÂ
Indeed, you are.
She crouches and levels her eyes with yours, searching your face for something that she doesnât seem to find.Â
âI donât believe you and Iâm not letting you go until Iâve got a satisfying answer.âÂ
She harshly pulls the knot in your wrists and looks pleased when it doesnât come loose. Pacing around the room and looking at your bound form, you see the engines turning in her head as you feel trapped in a lionâs cage.Â
Suddenly, she grabs you by the shoulder and pushes you backwards. You crash into the mattress and panic, you definitely shouldnât have played into her delusion, the thoughts of escaping brushes your mind and you curse yourself for not doing it sooner.Â
She takes hold of your binded arms and places them over your head as she climbs on top of you. Her knee is placed between your legs and you put your heels on the edge of the bed, pushing yourself up in a vain attempt to avoid the pressure.Â
âThis is what happens when you poke the bear, little girl.â She breathes in your face.
âAgnes, look-â
âITâS DETECTIVE OâCONNOR TO YOU.â You wince at her scream.Â
âDetective OâconnorâŠâ You try out and continue when she doesnât react. âThereâs no need for violence, we are both adults, Iâm sure we can settle this.â You attempt to reason with her.Â
She laughs at your statement, one of her hands grabs your neck and lightly squeezes.Â
âI wonât accept any form of disrespect. Youâll be an example for your friends.âÂ
Yeah, okay. Maybe that was a bad excuse. Â
Her eyes focus on something behind you and she reaches for it. You completely freeze when the corner of your eye catches the sight of a purple dildo held by her. Something inside you stirs.
âYou better lick it up, little girl. This is going inside you.âÂ
âWHA-â Your scream is cut off when she shoves the hard object down your throat.
The stiffness settles uncomfortably on your windpipe, making you gag and cough against it, only stopping when she takes pity on you and draws it out of your mouth.Â
âDo you want me to shove it in right now?â Sheâs a jerk and lets out a smug grin when you shake your head.
âNo, no, no!â You say hastily. âI can do it.âÂ
Seeing your willingness, she places the sex toy against your lips, letting you set the pace for yourself. You take a tentative lick and she raises an eyebrow at you.Â
This whole situation makes you dizzy. Agnesâs weight is on top of you and you slowly engulf the dildo, licking and coaxing in your saliva. She looks deep into your eyes and holds your tied hands firmly, pushing your propped heels with her feet and making you moan around the object when her thigh presses harder against your core.
Your body is reacting in the opposite direction, the panic settled into a trembelling flutter in your abdomen, the idea of being fucked by her seems more appelling as the time goes by and you wonder how much you really need to lube the dildo with your arousal pooling in your undearwear.Â
âYes, thatâs it.â She says encouragingly.Â
She sets a rhythm, leisurely pulling in and out as her lips form a sadistic smile, seemingly taking joy in your predicament as you slowly relax into the mattress, accepting your fate. Her blown pupils draw a groan out of your mouth and you feel drool dripping down your chin.Â
She leans down and nuzzles your neck, before popping the dildo out of your mouth and eyeing it.Â
âGood girl.â She praises and you grind against her thigh.Â
Smiling, she takes away your only form of relief, straddling your waist and placing the purple object sideways in her mouth. The image distracts you enough and gives her time ,with her newly free hands, to grab the remains of the rope and tie your bound hands against the headboard.Â
She eyes your pitiful position and lets out a breathy laugh, before grabbing your shirt and ripping it in half. Your eyes widen at the action and you suddenly remember that despite the pleasure running through you, youâre still very much in danger.
Ranking her eyes down your figure, she slides the wet dildo down your collarbones and over your covered breast, before reaching your navel. You look up at her with a pleading face, you could no longer tell if it was whether for her to continue or let you go.
âAg-Detective, please.â You beg and the nickname brings a smirk to her face.
Thrusting your hips up, you try in a vague attempt to smooth your aching core, she grabs your waist and presses her body weight harder against you. Getting close to your face, she âtsksâ.
âNah, nah. This is supposed to be a lesson.â Her hand moves up and painfully gropes your breast, pinching your nipple and making you let out a groan.Â
She rolls off of you and for a second, you think sheâs going to leave you there, bound and unsatisfied, completely lost in the situation. That is, until you feel her harshly pull your pants out, along with your panties, humming as she looks down at your barely covered self. Â
Spreading your legs, she settles between them and grabs the back of your things, pushing them up until your knees meet your front. Your open position gives her access to your core and she looks at it, grinning and running her finger through your wetness.Â
âIt appears someone has a cop kink.â Even in your condition, you have to hold in your laugh.Â
Sheâs still talking nonsense.Â
The discarded dildo appears in her hand once more and you bite your bottom lip in anticipation, she looks into your eyes as she slowly drags it between your folds and circles your clit, teasing you. Torture seems to be part of her enjoyment, you trash and buck into her hand, but the only thing she does is grip your hips to prevent your movement.Â
She runs the object down your thigh and you feel how wet it is, mixing with the previous stickiness in there and driving you mad as it gets further away from your entrance. Stopping your needy motions, you let out a whine from the provocation before suddenly throwing your head back as she slams into you.Â
It stretches you and she doesnât give you time to process the intrusions before she starts to move. She pounds hard, seemingly trying to draw out your pleasure as fast as she can and by the amount of arousal you feel bubbling under your skin, sheâs succeeding.Â
You moan loudly, your shoulders ache from the uncomfortable position and your wrist burns from the material of the rope. Your body shakes with the force of her thrusting and your breasts bounce inside your bra.Â
âAg- Please⊠I canât.â Meaningless words spill out of your mouth.Â
She laughs and places one of your legs on her shoulder, going deeper and hitting a spot that makes your vision go white.Â
âTell me what you were looking for.â Her face closes off and somehow she becomes more aggressive with her movement.Â
âWha-â There isnât a single thought crossing your mind.Â
âWhy did you come into my house? Tell me right now or Iâll stop.âÂ
âNO.â You shout and throw your head back at the frustration. âI already told you.â
âI donât want to hear any bullshit excuse.â Her movement slows down and you circle your legs around her to prevent her detachment.
âI donât know what you want me to say!â You tell her, your mind is muffled with arousal and you feel your climax getting away from you.
ââTell me the truth.â She almost screams and stops completely.Â
âFuck!â You exclaim, unfulfilled .Â
Your thoughts can barely connect, your head is spinning and you try to find a justification that will satisfy her enough.
âI WANTED YOU.â You shout out. âI wanted to get your attention.âÂ
You finally settle into an excuse and it seems to please her when she gives you a shit-eating grin, thrusting back into you.
The fading orgasm returns with vengeance, your back arches away from the bed and your entire body tenses up. The purple object pounds harder and harder into you, hitting the right spot every time and making you sob. Your legs tighten around her and your heel digs into her back. The headboard hits the wall and you faintly hear the sound as your mind is overrun with pleasure.Â
âDetective- I needâŠâ You blur out, the statement being cut off by a groan.
âI know what you need, baby.â Her voice is hoarse, you open your eyes to look down and are greeted by ragged breathing, hair out of place and an open mouth as she takes in your pleasure.Â
Her free hand comes up to circle your outer lips and you groan, frustrated by the endless teasing. Her finger meets your clit and her other hand adjusts the dildo to keep up the pace with the new attachment.Â
You close your hands around the rope holding them, throwing your head back as your body meets her thrusts and you grind up against her finger, searching for the edge. All the breath in your body rushes out at once when you reach it, stiffening and trembling against her body. Your hard nipples brush against the material of your bra and your nails dig into the skin of your palm. You go completely rigid and mute before slumping down onto the bed.Â
Your fingers teak at the aftershocks, you feel Agatha slipping the dildo out of you and her face enters your blurred vision.Â
âDid you learn your lesson?â She asks seriously, her face closed off again.Â
You nod vigorously, still bound and helpless, you couldnât tell what she would do next.Â
âGood.â She says and reaches up, untying the thick rope from your wrists and adding. âStay where you are, Iâm going to get a wipe.âÂ
Puzzlement fills your mind and you rub your red skin, maybe this would be the perfect time to run, even with your shirt torn and naked half self, but you doubted your jelly legs would take you far. Besides, her mood had changed, she seemed softer and you weren't sure if the change of temperament was her mental health acting up or if she was calmer because of your early answer.Â
Thereâs not a lot of time to think when you hear her coming back from the bathroom, towel in hand. Your breath is caught in your throat and you watch her every move, paralyzed. She settles herself on the bed, in front of you, before looking into your eyes and asking.Â
âMay I?â
You open yourself for her once more, sheâs already fucked you stupid, thereâs no need to be ashamed.Â
Her knuckles run up your calf and stop in your knee, her other hand placing the white wet material against your thigh and wiping the stickiness in it. You shudder when she brushes your core and wonder if you are catching her insanity by thinking of doing this again.Â
âIâm glad I didnât have to use my gun on you.â She lets out a relieved laugh and points with her head at the nightstand behind you.
You turn around and are greeted by a hose head. Â
#the amount of times I had to stop *wink wink* while writing this one is criminal#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agatha harkness x reader#agatha x reader#smut#fanfic#detective agatha harkness#not really#agatha harkness smut#kathryn hahn#kathryn hahn x reader#fanfiction
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Fallen StarâJake Sim
Twenty-four - a little of me, warnings: slight mention of death and descriptions of grief etc..
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You had woken up feeling awful. It doesnât really come as a surprise not when these exact moments have been recurring like daydreams that you somehow swim through with a hazy mind and aching limbs. It all started with a slight cough and a runny nose at the beginning of the week, nothing that was too hard to handle for you. The weather was starting to turn crueler, your clothes layered more, thicker in fabric so when you woke up the very next day completely fine you had guessed that the seven cups of tea you had dawned throughout the previous day had surely done their magic.
You were so wrong.
Your body had decided to collapse on you in the middle of the day. Dizziness sneaking into your mind as if you werenât just running away from Sunghoon with a laughter so loud you were sure you were gonna turn someone deaf. Thankfully Jake was nowhere around to see you and as Sunghoon was fanning you while you lied down on one of the dressing rooms couches you had made him swear not to tell a soul about it â given his love to announce everyoneâs news like theyâre his own.
So, it didnât take you long to figure out thereâs definitely something wrong with your body, perhaps it was exhaustion yet no matter how many hours you manage to drown in sleep nothing seems to be helping. You make a mental note to get a checkup thinking it might be an iron deficiency or something along these lines.
And yet each day you open your eyes there is something else wrong with you. be your aching body or a scratch in your throat you canât seem to cough. Itâs torture and it feels like your body keeps toying between the line of being sick and healthy, not sure where to lean into more.
âJesus. You look awful.â Sunghoon comments as soon as you meet him in front of the elevator.
âYeah, what the fuck is wrong with your face?â Sunoo adds from beside him with a look of unrestrained disgust etched into his face.
âThanks for the vote of confidence guys.â You reply with a roll of your eyes, sniffling as you walk into the elevator, and they follow while the cold seems to trail as quickly swirling through the space, and you tighten your arms around your shaking body.
You should have taken a painkiller before leaving your apartment.
âDo you even have makeup on?â Sunoo asks, his disgust is washed away by a look of pure worrisome instead. Although the way itâs directed at you somehow feels offensive rather than warming.
âYeah. I have concealer on.â
âYikes.â Sunghoon coughs.
âMaybe you should try a different brand. You know something that actually covers your dark circlesâ Sunoo pouts, his eyebrows knitting in what seems to be pity as his hand rubs your shoulder soothingly. It takes a few counted seconds for you to register his words. The insult sneaked into it has rancor slipping into your feature just as vast as you squint your eyes at him.
âAre you worried about me or the brands of makeup I use?â
âYour makeup. Duh.â Sunoo rolls his eyes, pulling out his phone and Sunghoon snickers from beside you.
You think youâre aware that you donât look your best. Although to be quite honest youâre not as worried about your face as how the state of your body is stamping its anxiety deep within you. You donât get sick often, make sure to take care of yourself in that sense at least and the thought of being home, cuddled up in your bed with a snotty nose and a pounding headache isnât very exciting and nor do you wish for that to happen.
Youâre really praying to every fucking god that exists youâre not actually falling sick.
Youâll be fine though â or at least thatâs what you think. Thatâs what you keep praying for -
Please god please please please!!
At this point you have had your fair share of showing up to work half a mess a day then fully got it together the next day so a few of perturbed coated comments from Sunoo and Sunghoon arenât gonna bother you too much.
However, it does get to you when youâre face to face with Jay and Soojin - who seem to have tagged along after the two of them sharing a breakfast together - You donât think Jay has ever been this surprised or is he horrified? While looking at your face as he is right now. You blink at him and as his stare stretches a second too long you wonder if you have grown a third arm in the time you walked from the elevator.
âOh, you look...â he crosses his arms, his eyes sweeping over your figure as he tilts his head. As if finding a word to describe your state is harder than it appears to be ânot every good.â He settles with. Cringing at himself or at you. Youâre not very sure of anything anymore.
âFor fuckâs sake guys okay! I look like an ugly duckling I get it!â you exaggeratingly whine throwing both of your arms in the air as if it expresses your distress and throw yourself onto the couch with a dry sob and bury your face into one of the pillows. Nor your cry or attempt to suffocate yourself with the awful scent of fake leather seem to be working nor gaining you any grain of commiseration because Sunghoon starts cackling from behind you. Almost as clamorous as your sob.
âAww yn. Donât mind these silly boys. Theyâre just being dumb.â Soojin coos gently, sitting down next to you and turning you on your back and you welcome her with a pout that probably does resemble an ugly duckling.
âLike always.â She adds, raises an eyebrow at Sunghoon who shuts up almost immediately, his face turns expressionless in the blink of an eye, and he pretends to be busy examining the snack table. That is empty. while Jay looks away from you. With an awkward scratch to his neck, you could almost detect the wheels in his head finding error in his words.Â
âAre you sick?â She asks, tone much softer and clement as she moves her hand up and down your arm. You could stare back for a few silent minutes, mouth slightly agape at the power Seo Soojin seem to contain with merely existing.Â
You donât think you could ever make Sunghoon shut up this quickly even with the presence of weapons nearby (not that youâve ever tried. You definitely would never do such a thing).
âI think Iâm just a little tired.â you reply, remembering to close your mouth when it feels too dry.Â
âYou donât look a little tired though.â She rests the open of her palm on the skin of your forehead and you shiver âthankfully, you donât seem to have a fever.â
âI do have a bit of a headache.â You say, sitting up probably when you almost feel your body slipping down the couch.
âMaybe you should head home.â She rubs your shoulder soothingly.
âAnd do what?â
âRest.â Soojin blinks at you slowly as if the dumbest question has just tumbled out your mouth. You wonder if you have managed to lose braincells while growing a third arm.
âOh, Iâll be fine donât worry. Besides, I probably have so much to do and- âSoojin doesnât even let you finish turning her head away from you towards Jay. Yet her palm remains. Itâs warm against your shoulder in contrast to how freezing the weather outside is.Â
âJay, does yn have anything urgent today?âÂ
âNot really. Jakeâs schedule is very light these days and I could pretty much handle it on my own.â The response comes immediately that you have trouble keeping up, eyes darting between the two.
âGreat!â she turns to face you again; a smilemounts up her face and itâs somehow as warm as the heat of the missing sun âIâm getting you an uber and youâre going home to rest!â
âSoojin Iâm fine seriously. âOnce again, she doesnât give room for you to argue, your words â or rather complaints melting off your tongue when she stands up from the couch, pulling you up with her.
âYou owe it to yourself to take care of yourself yeah?â she says, and you hesitate for a few seconds, unsure of what to say back to such tenderness âwe need to remember to be gentle with ourselves too.â
âOkay.â You sigh and she smiles âIf I feel worse then Iâll leave!-â you add and her smile vanishes, replaced by the shaking of her head.
âJay.â She calls turning her face away from you and he straightens in his seat âcall jake and tell him that yn is taking the day off.â Jay obliges almost as forthwith as your exhale. With no questions asked and you could only stare between the two, an amused smile tugging at the edge of your lips with a bigger strive to balance on your feet.
As Jay brings the phone to his ear he seems to notice your eyes on him, however he doesnât seem to notice the sparkle that comes to life at witnessing affection tinting the air, at knowing there are deeper emotions between two people that they arenât as aware of.
âIvyâs the boss here. whatever she says, happens.â He says with a shrug, your eyes shift to Soojin, and you think your smile grows bigger as the slightest, lightest hue of pink settles upon her cheeks. It could be passed by as her red sweater bringing color to her face, the light of the room or maybe itâs the tint she applied carefully before leaving her house.
But you know, and she knows that such a display of sentiment comes from something a lot more cavernous and if not for her tugging you out the room while youâre still attempting to fight the decisions already made, youâd think youâre somehow intruding into a forbidden territory.
âThat guy is whipped for you.â you comment, bumping your shoulder into hers with a giggle.
âNo, heâs not.â Soojin denies, woven with stubborn rebuttal and a shake of her head âHeâs that way with everyone.â She adds and it comes out much softer. Like a hushed conviction.
âHe doesnât even listen to Jennie the way he listens to you.â your voice grows louder in strives to prove your truth and she shushes you when you pass by a group of staff members âand sheâs his actual boss!â you whisper yell.Â
âShut up your uber is almost here.â She chuckles tinting the air with sparkles of affection and it brings a warm smile to your face to witness such a tale.
âWhy does he call you Ivy anyway?â
âItâs my English name.â
âThatâs cute. You must be special.â You wiggle your brows at her and then a sneeze interrupts your teasing, followed by her giggle as she pushes you into the backseat of the uber.
âVery cute. Now go rest and if you need anything donât hesitate to text me.â She urges a warning in her gaze that displays her sincerity and perhaps you are a lot sicker than you thought or maybe your head hurts a lot more than when you first woke up because a very strange ache to pout and cry like a child almost takes over you.
Deep down within all the regrets and the shame you keep locked away, a strand of guilt remains there at all the times you were mean to her before. A part of you wishes you could blame your foolishness on the declining state of your health.
âThank you.â you tell her, and you think Soojin sees through it all and you think she knows youâre about to cry so in the next moment sheâs slamming the door shut and points to her ears with her index finger.
âI canât hear you!â her voice is muffled by the glass of the window and itâs more than ample room for your chuckles to fill the car and gains you a strange look from your uber driver.
On your way home a gentle rain grazes the rooftops across the city, and the sky remains gray even when youâre inside your apartment. You change your clothes and sneak into your very comfortable warm pajamas. You sniffle as you brew your close to 50th cup of green tea this week. Silence fills every corner and despite your throbbing body you realize youâre not sure what to do if youâre not working.
You have been working for as long as you remember, have taken up part-time jobs as soon as you were conscious enough to digest the fact that money was everything. Especially in your case so you always remembered to suck it up. Even when you were sixteen waiting tables in a shitty diner and your boss had thrown inappropriate comments your way daily. You sucked it up. and sure, you have had days off and you have fallen sick before, but itâs been so long. That you feel like a stranger in your apartment when itâs light outside, when your body knows you should be working.
That, accompanied by the fact that the silence gives voice to your thoughts, for your anxiety to bloom and before you gain enough power to shut it down you have already dived into them. Your mind drifting to all the events you have been too busy to think about.
Niki.
Jake
Niki
Jake
Niki.
You rub the sides of your head with your fingers and then youâre taking your hot cup of tea into your living room. You sit on your couch with a groan at the throb persisting in your limbs. You reach for your phone and take small sips of your tea when you dial the number of your friend.
âThick or regular?â Heeseung asks as soon as he picks up your call.
âUh-â you blink at the black screen of your tv âWhat are we talking about exactly?â
âSoy sauce.â He answers, the voice of strangers around him gives away his crowded surroundings.
âI didnât even know thereâs such thing as thick soy sauce.â
âApparently thickness is taking over the world. Thatâs why bbls are a thing yn.â you snort.
âMaybe you should consider getting one.â A clear offended gasp from Heeseung cuts through and for a moment you would think you have insulted the entirety of his family tree.
âOkay Iâm surrounded by soy sauce and youâre talking about how flat my ass is Iâm so overwhelmed right now.â The gravity coating every word of his has you bursting out in laughter âItâs not like Iâm getting backshots soon.â He adds and you choke on your laughter, your tea almost burns the skin of your thigh if you arenât careful enough.
âI will be the one doing backshots,â you can almost hear the prideful smirk in his voice.
âOkay moving on from you and your shots.â You snort sounding somewhere between disgusted and petrified âAre you at the supermarket?â you ask, placing your cup on the table and adjusting your legs on the couch.
âYeah. I forgot to make an order of Soy Sauce for the restaurant, so my dad is punishing me by making me go buy some.â
âYou seem to be having fun so is it really a punishment?â you chuckle, leaning your head against one of the pillows and for a moment your headache subsides for a bit. Heeseung hums an agreement.
âWhatâs up with you? you sound like shit.â He asks after a few beats of silence.
âThanks, I only heard that like ten times today.â
âAre you sick?â
âProbably. Iâm really overwhelmed right now too.â
âWhy? Whatâs wrong?â Unalloyed concern clads his tone, and you sink into quietness for a few seconds before sighing.
âIâm honestly still really worried about Niki.â You mumble.
âWhat did that fucker do?â The sound of a child crying rises in the background and your head slightly pounds at the noise.
âNothing. Iâm just worried about him. I know he said heâs gonna retake his tests, but he has never failed anything in his life Hee.â You lie flat on your back and the sound of crying grows louder âNever. Even when he was in and out of hospitals so I canât help but worry about him.â You add.
âYeah I know â hold on-â thereâs shuffling on the other line. Heeseungâs voice grows a tad further but still coherent enough for you to hear âHey can you stop being a little bitch?â The sound of crying abruptly stops and you blink rapidly at your ceiling with attempts to make sense of whatâs going on.
âOr go fucking cry and be a little bitch in a different aisle.â He adds and then thereâs an unsettling silence. It doesnât last long, and itâs interrupted by a loud wail followed by an ear piercing âMOM!!â
âKids these days am I right?â Heeseung says, voice clearer and tone nonchalant.
âHeeseung did you just call a kid a little bitch?â
âYeah. Anyways back to Niki,â you open and close your mouth a handful of times, closer to speechless but then youâre shaking your heard with reminders that this is Heeseung and at this point in your lives itâs little that surprises you with him.
âYeah anyways. I was wondering if you know anything about what's going on with him? Maybe he felt comfortable talking to you about it.â
âNot really. Heâs been acting the same too.â He replies and you faintly exhale. Feeling a little defeated and lost with what to do with your worry âIf youâre that worried about his grades dropping, I can talk to him about doing less shifts at the restaurant until his exams are over.â He adds with a hum, seeming a bit absentminded âI donât know if heâll be happy about it though.â
You try to let his words permeate your mind with inhuman effort and as you tilt your head at nothing in particular it takes you 10 seconds to comprehend what he just said. You sit up with confusion and then shock pushing you forward.
âHold on,â you suck in a breath and your brows scrunch âWhat do you mean shifts? Heâs been working at the restaurant?â
âShit yeah. itâs been a while now. You didn't know?â
âWhat the fuck? No I didn't know. Why would you give him a job Hee? You know his body canât handle it.â you berate, frustration woven in your tone.
âI donât fucking know bro. he told me he needed the money, so I gave him one.â
âDid he tell you what he needed the money for? He has been selling his paintings online why would he need more money out of nowhere.â You run your hand through your hair tiredly, your body growing hot and you arenât sure if its irritation manifesting in your veins or a fever.
âI really donât know yn.â Heeseung sighs on the other line âBut either way Iâll talk to him when he comes into work later. Donât worry.â
âThat would be good, thank you.â you reply, not worrying is an impossible task.
âOf course.â
âIâll talk to him about everything properly once Iâm over this cold or whatever it is. I donât want him to get sick.â You say falling back onto the couch and stretching your legs. They weigh heavy and your heart feels heavier in your chest.
âYeah, you better rest for now. Iâll talk to you later and text me if you need anything.â
âOkay.â
As soon as you hang up, your anxiety seems to have doubled, Like ghosts swarming by your feet and slowly it feels like theyâre taking over every cell of your essence. A strand of penitence comes to life in the midst of it all and you canât help but wonder if perhaps were negligent of Niki due to how messy your life has been these past few months. Did you not pay enough attention to his struggles? How long has it been and when did he ever need anything and didnât feel comfortable to tell you? Was there a stretching distance between you that you hadnât noticed?
The thought is terrifying to you, it shakes you from within and when you check the time on your phone, it feels like it hasnât moved ever since you stepped foot into your apartment. You close your eyes with a shuddered breath
Somewhere along the worries plaguing your mind like permanently sharpened needles and your hands digging for solution you manage to doze off on your couch. Curled with your knees held to your chest and wrapped with your arms. You arenât sure how long you slept. Itâs long enough for the rain to subside and short enough for the gray clouds to remain. The sky, mystified by the lack of light and night, is yet to unfurl.
The only reason thatâs strong enough to pull you out of your sleep is the sound of your doorbell reverberating through your walls. And at first you think itâs a part of your dream but youâre picking apples and theyâre crispy red and shiny but thereâs a dying fish by your feet and who the fuck is at your door?
You open your eyes with a croaky groan. Your head pounds with an even worse migraine and your stomach is clenching in excruciating building nausea. You sit up and if you thought you felt awful earlier then itâs nothing compared to this. Like every bone in your body is aching and your fingers itch with an urge like sneaking through your flesh and squeezing tight.
Your doorbell rings again and this time itâs repeated, wrapped in evident panic at the lack of response from you and you finally decide to move. Shuffling to your door and maybe you are still in a hazy dream because as soon as you open your door Jake is standing there. Yet, it is the genuine worry etched in his eyes that has you blinking into reality. His hair is undone, falling over his eyes naturally and his skin glimmers just the same. He looks like he just showered, and you almost donât recognize him in his plain white sweatshirt topped with a brown jacket and jeans.
You eye him scrutinizingly, taking note of the two plastic bags heâs carrying.
âJake? What are you doing here?â your voice is shattered, tinted by the remnant of your sleep and then confusion.
âYn.â he exhales as if heâs relieved, heâs not stumbling upon your corpse and instead youâre alive âJay told me you were sick and I was gonna send you some stuff but uh â â he speaks hastily, hand scratching at the back of his neck and eyes fleeing from you and his words almost as scattered as your thoughts and perhaps thatâs why it feels like you donât understand anything heâs saying. His gaze finds you and he clear his throat. Almost like he falters at your silence.
You must be really sick or still dreaming.
âAnyways are you okay?â He asks hastily yet gently, and he remains gentle in the way his voice infiltrates your being, benign in the way he looks at you as his gaze darts over your figure and then they linger on the discomfort painting your features. It has his own brows furrowing deeper with growing concern.
He tells himself he shouldnât be this panicked â this nervous. Shouldnât let it show so obviously, clearer than the gray skies. Albeit he had practiced every word he wanted to say to you, all the excuses he was ready to spill upon finding his way to your home. Uninvited and perhaps unwelcome. For fuckâs sake he thinks he bought the entirety of the small convince store close to your apartment building and thereâs embarrassment brewing in his blood, his excuses withering at the tip of his tongue the deeper your discomfort seep into your face.
And no words of his permeates your mind strong enough and instead all you could think about is your head is pounding, and you need to sit down or bash it against the wall. Itâs solely why you donât say anything back and instead turn around in search of relief.
âYn.â Jake calls with scattered disconcertment as he follows you inside, the plastic bags are a hassle, and he curses himself yet remembers to close the door behind him and his voice echoes through your mind and your living the room when he calls again âBunny.â
You sit down on your previous spot on your couch, the room is darkened by your blinds and when you bury your head in the palms of your hands itâs not quick enough for you to not witness Jake kneeling in front of you with no hesitation, his bags abandoned on the floor as if he hadnât spent wasting minutes on deciding what to get, whatâs best for you. he doesnât touch you and his hand hovers awkwardly above your back and yet you swear you could feel its heat as if he is touching you.
âBunny whatâs wrong? Are you dizzy?â his voice betrays an unsubdued concern almost frantic, and you deny his question with a shake of your head.
âCan you talk to me? I wanna be able to help you okay?â He gently coaxes and you keep quiet because you could still sense his hand hovering, and you wonder why canât his hand be as gentle âCan you tell me what youâre feeling? Mhm?â he suggests once again.
âMy head hurts so bad.â You whimper and it feels so silly, the urge percolating into you to cry. Itâs the type of pain that makes you wish you could peel your skin off. Abandon your skull somewhere.
âOkay.â He stands up and you peer up at him through your palms and heâs looking around as if heâs trying to decide what he should do next. Evidently nervous as he runs his hand through his hair âPainkillers. Iâll get you some painkillers.â And then heâs walking towards one of the bags he was carrying, digging through them with seemingly no avail as he curses under his breath.
âFucking hell how did I forget to buy painkillers?â He berates himself, digging into the second bag only to end with failure. âDo you have any painkillers?â He asks looking up at you and the sight of you on your couch huddled up in pain even if itâs something as minor as a mere headache sends the same ache dripping from your fingertips and nestling its way right to the middle of his chest, digging and digging.
He doesnât wait for your answer and seconds pass by and then you hear him rummaging through the cabinets of your kitchen. His search doesnât last long thanks to the painkillers you had left on the counter this morning with complementation. You feel his presence and thereâs a glass of water in his hand.
âThis will make you feel better. Come on bunny.â
Heâs standing in front of you again and weirdly enough the way he speaks as if the autumn sunlight is in his voice rather than the cruel winter outside makes you feel vulnerable and when he offers comfort in the palm of his hand, places the glass of water on the table you could only manage to shake your head once again with denial.
âIâm really nauseous and I donât feel like I could take anything right now without throwing up.â You complain with a snivel and your tone breaks as if youâre about to shed tears and Jake feels it hit him in the pit of his stomach. Itâs uncomfortable and unjust because despite how scratched and heavy his heart is your pain still manages to nip at him in different places. As if thereâs no way for him not to feel you.
You leer at him and your eyes are misty, you see his hands clench then unclench by his sides and you imagine heâs fighting against restraints to not touch you. His teeth sink into his bottom lips, his fingers dig crescents into the tender skin of his palm. And you wonder how a feeling as tender manages to suffuse within you. You wonder how your mind finds room amidst the pain to fantasize about him when he is right in front of you.
But then Jake is kneeling right by your knees once again and your eyes widen only slightly when he replaces your hands with his. Pressing his thumbs into your temples.
âWhat are you doing?â
âShh. Doing this helps me with my headaches sometimes.â He explains and you shut your eyes when he applies light pressure with his fingers. And yet you are overly aware of how wavering you persist to be.
Youâre unsure if youâre dizzy because your body is catching up to how weary you feel or because heâs suddenly so close. Close enough to feel his breath hit your face, the pads of his fingers are rough and yet contrastingly warm and itâs been so long since he touched you.
âIs there anything else thatâs hurting you?â He asks â whispers delicately - after a few moments of silence with only the sound of your intermingled breaths.
âMy body hurts too.â You reply â whisper back just as delicately - and you canât fight against the small pout jutting your bottom lip out. You think if you were in the right state of mind, youâd be cringing at how dramatic youâre acting.
âThankfully you donât seem to be having a fever.â The swipes of his thumbs circle your skin soothingly âYouâll be okay.â He reassures, applying harder pressure every now and then. For a fleeting moment you arenât sure if heâs trying to comfort you or himself.
âI have you.â itâs a faint whisper. Barely inaudible and for a different fleeting moment it feels like a lie your sick mind had conjured up to feed your thirsting heart. The same fragile heart that pulsates against your ribcage and you donât want it to be a lie or a heedless imagination.
âDo you promise?â you childishly ask, and Jake lets out a breathy chuckle that tickles your face. You open your eyes, and they prance around his. The chuckle that has melted onto a small smile slowly disappears from his face and you donât know what kind of expression youâre wearing, what kind of mask you should be hiding behind.
âI promise.â He replies and you sigh because you donât know if he means that youâll be okay or that heâs got you, but you hold onto the latter. With clutches roughened by the selfishness of your own longing and shut your eyes with silly covets like not unveiling it.
Itâs only when enough time has passed for your body to relax. No longer tense shoulders and shuddered breaths. Instead, the tranquil silence that has settled right between you two settles in the depths of your chest just the same as Jake speaks;
âBetter?â He asks.
âMhm.â
âDo you think you could try taking the painkiller now?â
âYeah.â you clear your throat, pushing your eyes to open when his hands abandon your skin, and you wish you lied.
Even for a bit longer as he hands you the pills, he had picked up earlier followed by water that you chug diligently and itâs only when your glass is empty that you exhale. Wiping at the corner of your mouth at the few straying drops. He eyes you tentatively when you look up at him.
âSorry.â
âFor what?â His eyebrows furrow in clear confusion.
âFor troubling you. Being a burden. I donât know.â you slightly wince, eyes shifting somewhere else before catching his yet again and he abides unremitting.
âYouâre not a burden bunny.â You can sense thereâs more that linger at the tip of his tongue, and you wait âIâm here because I was worried about you.â he finishes and your cheeks splash with pink evoked to steal his attention by your pale face.
âDoes your body still hurt?â He asks when youâre quiet for far too long, with running gazes and nerves colored hands and pretends he didnât feel his face burning up at his confession.
âA bit.â You answer, scratching at your wrist and clearing your throat âCan you hand me my laptop, please?â you ask, pointing somewhere behind him and he raises a displeased eyebrow at you.
âFor what?â
âThereâs a couple of stuff I need to get done.â
âLike what? Whatâs so important that you need to do now?â
âBills. Rent is due soon and thereâs Yeonjunâs car fees. I was gonna do them earlier but I ended up falling asleep.â You explain, rubbing your forehead warily and the space between his brows deepen with confusion.
âCar fees?â he questions and you nod as if heâs supposed to understand âyeah I need to pay him. I need my laptop.â You move to stand up and your head is spinning a bit but you donât get to make it far before his hands are on your shoulders pushing you to sit back down and then Jake is on his knees again, chasing after your eyes with a tilt of his head.
You wish he wouldnât kneel so easily, as if he wonât swallow your heart up and flee.
âAre they urgent?â He asks tenderly and your chest tightens as if there isnât enough room for your breaths to leave.
âNo but I have to do them right now.â You insist with a shaky voice when his hands cradle your face with loving forbearance, one that has you feeling languid.
âShh, you donât need to do anything right now, okay?â he reassures as if you were panicked and perhaps you were, you arenât sure if itâs because of your lack of work or simply because Jake is in the same space as you and you arenât sure how to act without vomiting words lodged at the back of your throat.
I've missed you so much that I've been naming the stars in the sky after you.
âYouâre on sick leave for a reason. Your body needs rest.â His thumb swipes at your cheek and his face is within centimeters of yours âYou can do all of these things tomorrow or whenever you feel better, okay?â you let a shuddered breath out and for a second it feels like looking away from him is unobtainable, not when his gaze glints with golden specks, ones that feels like they are reserved for you.
âOkay.â You whisper back, overtaken by defeat and perhaps you never stood a chance.
âGood.â He grins, overtaken by triumphant.
Strands of his black hair fall over his face, and you donât think you have ever felt this much envy towards anything aside from a human being. Your fingers itch on your lap with temptation to push it out of the way yet you hold yourself back, despite the lure entangled in every move he makes. You are too aware of the distance, too aware of the space you shouldnât cross, and you will enough power not to slip again.
You fall into silence with purpose, mainly because you feel like a cuddled child and yet you have this growing fear inside of you. It slithers its path to your flickering glances, right into the skin of his palms as he strokes your cheeks. Youâre so awfully scared of splitting yourself open, baring your insides and submitting your soul to disaster.
âHow about I run you a bath?â He suggests with a slight hum, and you shake your head when his hands trail to your knees.
âNo.â
âWhy not? It will help you feel better.â
âI donât really wanna move right now.â As if to prove your point you lie down on the couch, your hair spread like a halo around you and although the room is enveloped in darkness, and everything falls into one color he swears he could almost see the sunrays infiltrating through your strands. its warmth travels to him and he almost want to spread his arms wide open to welcome it.
And perhaps it is enough force to coaxes his smile to rise â his eyes sink into excruciating benevolence and there you are stumbling yet again. Unable to look away from him, not when heâs everything you wish to behold. It pushes you into folding your desire into itself. Tucking it into the space none of you dare to take.
âWerenât you just fine moving a second ago to get your laptop?â
âThatâs different.â You argue with a shrug, making no attempts to further strengthen your point.
âIt will be warm, and it will help with soothing the ache in your body.â He says, try to persuade you with a hum and the air tastes fragile, enticing you with an ache to bury your face in the middle of his chest and sing a melody of your name into it, tattoo your name into the canvas of his soul, or maybe itâs you.
âMy ache is fine actually, thank you.â
âOh yeah? is that why your legs are shaking?â he arches a brow at you, smile tilting upwards as if theyâre claiming to reach for the stars and you look down at your body, havenât realized the slight tremble wrecking through it.
âThatâs because Iâm cold.â
Wordlessly he shrugs off his brown jacket and places it over your lower body, covering your legs and it provides little to no warmth but the scent of laundry detergent engulfs your being. It waters your fervent longing back to the surface. Drowning you in it and you wish to drown in everything that makes up Jake. You didnât know you could miss someone when theyâre right in front of you and you didnât quite grasp how hard it is to shake the hallucinating thoughts of him â where touching him isnât forbidden and looking at him comes easily â without threats for your words to spill.
âWhat about you?â you mumble, pointing at his thin , almost see through sweatshirt.
âI can handle the cold just fine.â He retorts âYou know what would help you warm up though? A bath.â
âIâm gonna feel cold as I undress to get into the bathtub.â
âIâll make it really warm to make up for the few minutes of coldness youâre gonna feel.â He counteracts with a chuckle emerging from his lips and landing right in the middle of your heart. Youâre quiet, as if youâre contemplating his words and he thinks he won as your eyes flit elsewhere â he misses you.
âWhat if the water is too hot it burns my skin?â you ask, softly and yet seriously enough for him to feel the same feeling welling in the pit of his stomach again â as if a flower is fighting its way to bloom through cracks of sorrow and he isnât sure how to deal with it.
The sunrays, the flowers and the sorrow. He won.
âIâll make sure nothing like that happens to you.â he replies, just as softly as tender as gingerly. And itâs unfair because you feel your heart palpitate at his mere existence and you already know he won the minute he stepped foot in here.
âHow about this,â he straightens, pushes his hair away from his face and youâre envious at his hands and grateful all at once for granting you a clearer glimpse to his features âIâll go run the bath. Make sure everything is perfect for you and then if you still feel like you donât want to go in, you donât have to, okay?â
You donât think youâre brave enough to accept his kindness as it is. You will always manage to find different facets of it. Dress it in the intensity of affection and stare at his smile as if spilled lullabies are woven to call for their home â within your soul.
âOkay. Iâm sorry.â
He shushes you and when he stands up, his hand lingers above your head. His own urges â hankerings to brush through your hair betray themselves in the flicker of light in his gaze so you cowardly look away because youâre scared of betraying your burning heart in yours. Scared of being rejected and falling between the walls of whys.Â
âIâll be back.â He whispers, flown away and you could still smell the rain on your skin.
Your house â a small apartment is the complete opposite of his. He never was into the intricacies of home dĂ©cor. Hence why the space of his home remains plain and simple. His own touches of life lacking and the only thing close to boisterous are his forget me nots and the painting that somehow managed to lead back to you.
You, however, stay lively with scattered hanged pictures of Japan across the walls. And your dessert shaped candles, your bathroom smells like Sakura petals, and you manage to inject your love into everything you surround. He thinks he likes it here.
Heâs gone for two minutes only; the bath is half full when you peak your head through the door of your own bathroom. Your hair is disheveled, and his jacket is now around your shoulders.
âChanged your mind?â He asks with a grin that churrs your insides.
âThe thought of a bath didnât seem so bad after all.â You answer as you step inside. You take a seat on the closed toilet seat and watch as Jake reads the back label of your pink bubble bath soap, his nose scrunches a little too adorably as if he is displeased of what it contains. Your heart warms at the sight and he still pours a generous amount of it into the tub, filling it with bubbles and then he follows it with your bodywash.
The scent of vanilla overtakes the Sakura.
âThis smells just like you.â
âIt is my bodywash after all.â
âI like it.â He says, eyes drifting to the water as he tests the temperate with his hands. How I smell or merely the scent? you want to ask but you donât.
When the water is warm and full. He trudges towards you, his cheeks are slightly pink due to the heat and thereâs a soft smile dispersing across his lips with coated fondness. It steals your breath away when heâs leaning down and taking off your socks for you. You slightly flinch with a bout of embarrassment.
âY-You donât have to do this Jake.â You fumble diffidently, with your words and your racing heart.
âI know.â He looks up at you âI want to. Am I making you uncomfortable?â He questions throwing your socks to the side. Youâre left to wonder how you are supposed to accept his integrity, his attentiveness, the unfair ability to have you wavering on this warmth of his.
âNo.â you admit, with a rattled breath and perhaps the tilt of his lips is worth it.
âCan I?â He still asks when his hands reach for the buttons of your pajama top, you shrug his jacket off and nod with a burning face.
Silence rushes in unwelcomed, and your keep your gaze downcast. watch as his fingers seemingly slower than you wish unbutton every single one. Your heart picks up speed with each one and breathing grows harder when your eyes dart towards his and yet still vacillating. Because it is not lust that fetters the air but rather something that feels much more intimate. Like exchanging words between your gazes that your tongue will not be able to match.
And it stays even when youâre finally in the bathtub. Encircled by a familiar scent, warmth and Jake at the edge of your tub. The water is as pleasant as he promised, and your body relaxes.
âJust call for me if you need anything, alright?â
Suddenly youâre inundated with a colossal amount of disappointment at being left alone. Your eyes shifting, fingers picking at the surface of your tub.
âAlright, bunny?â He asks again and maybe it is your tiresome tinting all logical thinking that you should have but then youâre shaking your head, kicking your pride to the side.
âWhat if I need something but I canât call for you?â stupid, stupid yearning.
Jake looks perplexed for a few seconds, but his expression is softened by a fond smile. He had broken hearts before â not intentionally. And he never was the man to listen to others strives to grasp for his affectionate. And yet in this moment, heâd rather have you break his heart than refuse what your eyes are seeking.
âIâll just stay then.â He tells you, tender and youâre shy. Cheeks glowing pink and he feels his fondness for you trickle into his blood and it bumps faster, rougher through his veins when you catch his gaze.
You lean back into the tub with your lips slightly tilting, pushing the entirety of your hair to the side. The ends swim alongside you and stray rivulets of water slips down your neck. Catching his gaze as it lingers for a minute too long on the necklace thatâs always there.
It's just you, unadulterated with the weather outside and draped with effulgence as he always knew you to be. And itâs him, without the echoes of all his doubtful battles. Perhaps he managed to empty his mind in the water and your necklace â his â remains around your neck even when youâre bare. Itâs like youâre wearing him, and he likes to think heâs woven into the fabric of your soul.
He looks away for a spilt second, a puff of a chuckle forces its way past his lips.
âWhat?â you ask, tilting your head to the side with a growing smile and God â youâre breathtaking.
âI just had a stupid thought.â He shakes his head, and the water slightly splashes when you move closer to him.
âTell me.â you say, and he thinks youâre too tangled in his soul.
âIt just feels like itâs been a while since we looked at each other.â He says softly âBut we see each other every day so itâs stupid.â He continues and recognition fills your eyes like you know exactly what he means.
âItâs not stupid.â you reply, and you are too tangled in his soul âI have actual stupid thoughts all the time. And you know it.â
âTheyâre extraordinary, I wouldnât call them stupid.â
âThatâs just a nicer way of saying Iâm stupid.â You retort with a playful snort; your smile remains soft.
âShut up youâre not stupid.â He insists and a comparable softness traverse in his irises and it pushes you right into quietness.
You never were one for silence. Because silence is uncomfortable and itâs vast with its weight. It vocalizes everything youâve been trying to evade all day, perhaps all week or maybe itâs been long enough to be called months. However, right now it doesnât feel like that. Itâs akin to placid waters, your reflection comes back crystalline clear rather than distorted.
âYouâre the last person I expected it to see today if Iâm being honest.â You speak after stretching minutes of none of you saying anything, fingers drawing star shapes into the water and his eyes watch you with faithful attention.
âWhat would have you done if I wasnât here?â He doesnât ask why, and you wonder if he knows or is merely uninterested.
âProbably become one with my couch until I felt better.â You shrug and he shakes his head with a tsk of disapproval. For an odd reason a knot forms in your stomach, impossibly tight and the skin of your neck ignites in flame. You tell yourself youâre growing too hot and thatâs it.
âI wish you took care of yourself the way you take care of others.â He says, candor embraces every syllable with ease. A similar knot forms in the middle of your tongue. Deeming it useless. There is no peace in confessing that you arenât sure how to do that. Not when you have spent a lifetime with amiability directed at anyone but yourself.
âI donât think I know how to do that.â Thereâs no peace in confessing yet you still do it. Perhaps you were tired of trying to light a matchstick that refuses to obey, his eyes mellow down into nothing but adoration.
Was there a point in trying to save someone that refuses to be saved?
But Jake hasnât been acting like himself. Following his impulses blindly, itâs evoked by the callings of his heart, yearning to be near so he showed up to your door like thereâs room for him. He touched you like he wasnât made from poison and he can scour through every rational thought but theyâre all adjudged futile against the softness that is you.
âIâm here now.â He says, Iâm here to take care of you, you hear.
The enormity of his desire disgusts him, itâs a craving beyond his flesh and itâs unjust. Iâll shape myself into something thatâs worth taking care of you, he means.
âYou have been working hard, your body is probably upset with you.â He adds when youâre quiet, eyes darting over your dubious figure and he thinks your cheeks have drained the colors from the world, theyâre pink and the sky is gray.
Heâs unworthy but itâs a great honor to think heâs the reason why.
âTell that to my boss.â You joke and Jake narrows his eyes at you.
âI actually heard your boss is super nice,â
âDid you now?â
âUh huh, super nice and handsome too. Ripped body. Killer smile. I could go on forever. Really.â He trails, lowering his fingers one by one and you roll your eyes with a forced giggle tumbling out your lips, one that you cannot seem to be able to hold back.
âWhoâs feeding you these lies? Jay?â
âSo, you donât agree that Iâm handsome?â
âBeauty is subjective.â
âIs that a no?â a look of faux offense clambers over his face and your giggle uprears in volume, grows further from fatigue and closer to how you usually sound. You pretend to zip your mouth shut, raising palms in surrender as if you canât help it.
A deeper umbrage takes claim on his face, and he attempts to splash water at you, you turn your head with a laugh, and he sees Sakura petals bloom across your face, they come from within, watered by you.
âIn all seriousness,â he itches closer to you. and your smile melts off your face at the sudden propinquity it has your body engulfed in heat that isnât provided by the bath. His fingers trail underwater, and when his eyes catch yours, theyâre soaked with softness and your reflection is so clear. when his fingers graze yours, they fail to intertwine, and your heart is beating so fast you feel like you could throw It up.
âYouâre doing a good job, bunny.â Your eyes soften as marginally, you bring your knees up to your chest. Attempts to hide the joy that overtakes your sentiment â the warmth that caresses your heart. You allow yourself to bask in it and a faint voice whispers in your heart;
You have managed to stumble on a lost star â he shines so brightly and burns just as bright. And he calls for you in a sea of flesh.
âYouâre doing a good job too, Jake.â He smiles and your mind careens.
âTell that to my assistant.â
This time itâs you who splashes him with water and this time itâs him who laughs like the world shrinks into nothing but you and him in the middle of your small bathroom. And you smile like your heart has never known pain, but you donât tell him that you didnât let the water get to him on purpose, and you donât show him that love writes itself in the corners of your face.
âShall I help you wash your hair?â He asks when his laughter had died down and the glint in his eyes shines brighter.
âYou donât have to.â
At your answer heâs already getting up, hands reaching for your bottle of shampoo. When heâs behind you, hands entangled in your hair. You bury your face in your knees with a profound urge to weep taking over your sensitive heart. Itâs foolishly emerging from the fog of your confusion at the reminder that you donât remember the last time someone cared for you this deeply, this tenderly. And thereâs unavoidable loneliness at the thought, thereâs melancholy in the feeling, knowing that this tenderness is temporary.
No matter how selfishly you hope for it to last. Your mind is a battlefield, haunted by touches of love. Stories upon stories stitched together by great ardor. You have seen it all around you, in movies, written in pages of a novel and in ending relationships your friends had gone through â none of them are yours.
âBunny I canât wash your hair if youâre leaning that far off.â Jake comments with a chuckle.
You keep quiet, too embarrassed to cry over something as inevitable as Jake leaving. Too ashamed of the covetous ache brimming in your blood. You have tried to discard it, but you arenât sure how are you supposed to drain your blood without kneeling into death.
Jake follows your silence. Maybe he thinks youâre stubbornly childish, maybe he thinks youâre teasing him or maybe he sees it through it all and your weakness is unabashed and itâs a glaring red siren coaxing him into the complexity of your essence. You donât see him, but you feel him moving behind you, the sound of a lid uncapping and then his hands are on your back with lathered soup, vanilla fills the empty spaces of silence.
His hands arenât soft against your skin, theyâre rough, washed raw and dry. You could almost distinguish every scar that embellishes them, the healing ones, old ones you havenât been there to witness taint his skin. His sadness â unrelenting guilt is unabashed, and you never knew such callous hands could be this gentle.
Itâs another stupid thought â but maybe thereâs room for something to belong to you.
When the sun sets outside. The lights in your hallway stay the same. While Jake takes an alarmingly long time to wash his hands. Long enough for enervation to sink deeper into your bones, it drains the color from your face. and it transpires itself into imaginary leg cuffs around your ankles making your movement closer to a harder task than breathing.
You somehow feel even more tired, dragged further down the hole of sickness.
âYou okay?â He asks when he finds you in your bedroom, sitting on your velvet vanity chair and clothed in your robe. Your hair is slightly damp and the colors of the sun leaving seeps in through the openings of your curtains.
âJust a little tired.â You answer, throwing a glance at his direction and it leaves him wondering â perhaps for days â how you manage to look like you stepped out of the painting of his dreams.
In his dreams, his heart isnât as filthy and merging into you isnât as fearful.
In reality, he clears his throat and steps into your room, inhales your perfume and envelopes his filthy heart with faux courage.
âHave you eaten yet?â
âMhm.â You lean your head back onto his chest when heâs standing behind you. He conceals his surprise with immense force, not fast enough for the betrayal of his slightly widened eyes. cinnamon and vanilla overtake his senses, your face is doused in exhaustion and his mind is fuzzy.
âNot yet.â He inhales you.
âWeâll need to get some food in your system, yeah?â He whispers and you hum, eyes falling shut when he tentatively brushes his fingers through your hair âWeâll also need to do something about your hair â canât have you getting sicker.â
âI donât feel like doing anything.â You faintly complain, a small pout adorning your lips when you look up at him, the sunset glimmers in your eyes and reality pales in comparison.
âIâll do it for you.â He replies with an amused grin at the way youâre acting. It gives room for the moon to rise.
You arenât sure what he means by that â however a long sigh caged in your chest escapes when he starts brushing your hair. Heâs extremely gentle, fingers coated in delicacy that you donât even provide for your own hair. And thereâs a peculiar domesticity painting the air. As if this was how everything was meant to unfold. For you to eventually end up here and for him to be behind you through it all.
âI never thought that the Jake Sim would be good at braiding hair.â You comment lightly when he starts sectioning your hair, he catches your eyes in the mirror.
âMy mum taught me.â he mumbles, eyes returning to his work and seeming completely focused on your hair âI used to braid her hair for her all the time.â
âThatâs really sweet.â You reply with a lowered tone â a hushed softness and Jake is quiet for a few moments. You think his words die here but then he speaks again.
âI vividly remember how each time the braid grew smaller and smaller because she kept losing so much hair.â His words flow as easy as autumn breeze, bittered by the winter as if the image is still fresh in his head. Rather than a distant memory. Itâs an image that still glides throughout his reality.
âShe always joked that itâs better this way. That itâs easier for me to braid.â He chuckles but it lacks life, joy, and his eyes deepen with distant â longing and your heart tightens, brows slightly furrowing at his undeniable grief.
Iâm sorry. Lingers at the tip of your tongue but youâre well aware thatâs not the kind of words that will bring him peace. It wonât ease his pain or lessen the depth of his sadness â anger. Youâre well aware not to act upon the urges clashing inside of you. truthfully you want to know everything about him. The thoughts that invade his mind at night, in the mornings and right now when heâs dozing off with pieces of you in between his fingers.
What is he like when his anger isnât restrained â what is he like when heâs not bottling everything up and what would it be like to peek into his sorrowful river. You donât give room for yourself to decipher the cause of this urge. You know itâs not trivial curiosity, but rather the desire to peer into the corners of his souls. Like a book you wish to read, your fingers itching. Yet you manage to hold yourself back. You smile and night has painted the sky.
âShe sounds like a lively woman.â
âShe is.â He says absentmindedly while his hands braid the ends of your hair âShe was.â He corrects in a fleeting second âShe was the type of person to find happiness even on the darkest and gloomiest days.â
Jakeâs lament displays itself in the floods of his existence with no shame. Thereâs softness twined in his gaze; one that appears naturally at the mention of a person he holds so dearly to his heart, yet the bitterness abides part of it all. Itâs a wound that had yet to stop aching in pain, to stop bleeding. He doesnât know why he tells you all this and doesnât know how the words slipped out of his mouth but his eyes stumble upon yours thereâs not a single cell of regret in his body.
You donât look at him with pity nor sympathy. Jake had showed off his scars to you and you still look at him like itâs just â him. Not his shame, or grief. His existence had always felt like a garden of black and red agonies. Had seen it tickle down his cheeks with rivulets of his sorrow, witnessed the blood seep out his fingers and drench the ground with every step he takes. But youâre there, in the midst of it all and youâre not looking at him with disdain. Instead, you flourish with ease, as if he isnât made of prickling thorns.
âIâm sure sheâs still watching over you, proudly.â You tell him with a fragile smile, and it shouldnât shake his soul the way it does. He looks away with a slight tremble in his hand. A labored breath and he canât say anything back to you. You donât look at him as shame or grief and he canât let you look at him as his regret, his guilt.        Â
Jake is made up of a garden tainted with black and red agonies â his remorse remains a master of it all. He doesnât find enough courage to come face to face with the fact that itâs not that. That if his mother knew, if you knew how he lived his life. Glory has no place to exist. So, instead he grins and ties your hair for you.
âAll done.â
âWow! itâs really well done actually.â You say, bringing your hair to the front and staring at it, between your hands. A pang of ache nestles its way into his stomach and itâs peculiar to feel like youâre holding a piece of him so delicately.
âitâs just one of my many talents.â He quips and you giggle slightly.
You keep your eyes glued to your hair and he senses something shifting in your eyes and your lips cast downwards faster than heâd like. He senses a realization in you unfold as your brows start to furrow.
âMy mom,â you speak suddenly and then youâre looking at him, a smile doused in sorrow similar to his is on your face âmy mom never really taught me anything.â You murmur like a confession pulled from the depths of your soul. For a moment he thinks he sees your scars too, theyâre raw and have yet to stop bleeding, he thinks he tastes your heartache on your tongue.
Itâs bitter and doesnât belong in you.
âYou still turned out wonderful.â He says, every word, tone is inundated with sincerity and your eyes flit to his with purpose to steal his heart. They glimmer and he wonders how envious the moon must be â he wonders if thereâs room for him to linger around.
âYou donât have to be nice to me just because Iâm sick.â You joke lightly, you ended up baring your insides after all.
âHave I ever lied to you?â He whispers, not colored with amuse like you had hoped.
âNo.â you answer, and you think you canât slip when you have already fallen, and he smiles like he knows he won.
You realize it then â how scary intimacy truly is. Not the one evoked by lust and hunger but this one. The one that saturates the air with vulnerability. Baring your soul with its ugly scratches, your hideous mistakes while blind to everything thatâs coming your way.
And he realizes it then â that thereâs so much of you he has yet to unveil, he sees parts of you everywhere, in the love you spill into everything you do. And in your so ever called hope. Jake was never optimistic. Life hadnât given him the privilege to be and somewhere in the darkened nights in his garden he lost the ability to believe in such an intangible thing as hope. So, he wonders why he wishes for your hope to never wither away. He feels this immense urge to peer into your soul, look through the pages of your book.
You open your mouth to say something and the hairs on his body rise in anticipation to listen with devotion. Itâs an odd feeling to thirst for someone like this. Not for their body to touch yours or unload accumulated stress through them but rather to intertwine with him, crave for your hand to mesh into them. How selfish it is, to crave someone this bad, as if he has any right to call you his.
Your phone dings multiple times on your vanity, seemingly with messages and your mouth closes, eyes averting and his anticipation is stripped away, overtaken by disappointment at your fleeting attention.
âSorry,â you mumble, picking up your phone and going through the notifications. Your brows slightly furrow, and he grows hatred for your phone.
âIs everything okay?â he asks at your lingering worry.
âYeah um,â your fingers move across your screen as you type to a response to whatever stole your gazes from him âNiki is here?â you add and it comes out more as a question colored with bewilderment.
âDid you know he was coming?â
âNo,â you lock your phone and stand up âI told him to come up. He wants to talk to me about something.â You explain further, heading towards your closet in search of clothes to wear. You pull a plain thick sweater over your head, hands reaching for a pair of shorts closest to your hand.
The sound of your door unlocking has Jakeâs eyes slightly widening at the speed of your brother. Did he fucking teleport to your floor or what?
âAnyways it probably wonât be long so just stay here.â You add and he cocks a brow at your choice of clothing .
âAre you seriously wearing that?â he asks eyes trailing over your figure.
âYeah, why?â
âYou have been complaining about being cold all day and now youâre wearing shorts? Do you want to die?â you blink at him slowly âChange. Wear something warm.â He adds crossing his arms and tone stern unlike how he has been talking to you gently earlier, itâs slightly amusing  and it has your lips twitching upwards.
âYes boss.â You joke heading for your closet again and he rolls his eye and then your back faces him and you fail to see his smile, itâs adorned with affection.
After changing into thicker pajama pants and gaining a nod of approval from Jake, you make it out to your living room. Niki is on your couch and upon hearing the sound of your steps his eyes shift from the plastic bags on the floor to you. irritation paints his face quickly and you sigh warily.
âWhat the fuck yn?â
To be continued....
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64 / 4.1k / soap soulmate au, final part
...
"You doing okay?"
Hearing Gravesâ voice knocks what little breath you had out of your lungs. It's been months, but that's him. Your old boss. You never thought you'd hear his voice again.
"I've been better," you say finally. "Been awhile."
"Yeah, it has," he says. "Wish you'd've called me to catch up sometime, rather than under the circumstances. You don't sound too banged up. They treat you alright?"
"I'm fine."
"I didn't ask how you feel. I asked if they roughed you up."
You feel your own temper shorten in response. "I need you to call KorTac off."
There's a pause. You can imagine his frowning face, the way he's thinking that one over. "I'll take that under advisement," he finally says, but you can tell he's not going to do what you ask of him. "Puttin' me in a predicament here, kid. You're giving those boys a hard time, and here I thought I was helping you out. Paying your bail, so to speak."
"Itâs more complicated than that."
"Always is. Letâs just have you dropped off back on base with us. You can clean yourself up and weâll talk."
He waits for your crisp yes, sir, but it never comes.
He speaks again. "You got somewhere else to be?"
"I can't go back."
"Can't or won't? You got something you ain't tellin me, soldier?"
"I said I can't go back. And I'm not your soldier anymore. You're not my boss. I don't work for you."
"You know Shadows don't leave one of our own behind. Not to rot in some CIA prison cell. So lose the attitude," he says, voice like iron. "This ain't a good time to play games, kid. You're comin' back with me because I spent a pretty penny on you. You owe me. You have your personal business, fine. Come on back to base and let's talk this out face to face before you go makin' any hasty decisions."
You're so frustrated it's hard to form words. You should be grateful. You know that. Graves doesnât pretend to care about his men. He cares enough to lead from the front. But you met your soulmate, and you canât act like it didn't change you. You need to make things right. You also canât exactly tell Graves you kind of sold him out.
"Hey. Focus up." He doesn't raise his voice to a command. Still, the order is in his voice, and you have been long trained to follow your commander's orders. Then he sighs. "What happened to you, kid?"
"You betrayed the 141. You killed innocent people in Las Almas, looking for them."
You can almost hear his jaw working behind his clenched teeth, the muscles in his face tight. He does not allow this kind of disrespect. "You think I like what I had to do? General Shepherd's orders were clear. We followed them. 141 did not." He huffs out a sigh. "I didn't enjoy it. But that's the job. You of all people know that."
You swallow. "You told us they were our brothers. You killed innocent people, Commander. Johnny said he saw you do it--"
"Johnny?" Grave's voice rises. "You on a first name basis with Soap now?"
"We all know what happened in Las Almas," you retort. Your skin goes hot at the way he says Johnny's name. "I won't work for Shepherd anymore after that. I won't fucking do it."
"Don't pull that with me." The warning is written in his voice. This isn't like you. To the Shadows, youâre calm. Cold. You don't lose your temper. You don't talk back. Especially not to Graves. "You think you can walk away at the drop of a hat just because you don't agree with an order? It doesn't work like that. You follow an order, even if you don't like it, even if it pisses you off. You don't get to decide what you think is right or wrong to carry out. When I give you an order, you follow it. That's your job. Your loyalty is with me. Not with the 141."
"I did my job."
"Then act like it," he snaps. "Stop acting like I'm some evil bastard out here. I made the only choice I could. Task Force 141 was not supposed to be there. They knew my orders, and what did they do? They came after my men, went behind my back, screwed us over. We did what we had to. You wanna be pissed at someone? Be pissed at them."
You glare down at the ice, but say nothing.
"You know I'm right." He knows you. He's getting to you. "And you know what else I find interesting? You don't seem a bit surprised to hear me alive." His voice is too casual and sharp as a knife. "Didn't you get the memo? Did no one forward you my obituary, soldier?"
You stiffen. You're not supposed to know he's alive.
"You're an awful liar. Always have been." He pauses for a long moment. "It ain't easy, surviving against the 141 if they want you dead. You know how I managed it, soldier?"
Yes. "No,â you retort. âAnd stop calling me that. I'm not your soldier. I don't work for you anymore."
"The hell you aren't. Maybe you're not on the payroll anymore, and maybe you're no longer under my command, but once a Shadow, always a Shadow. That makes you my responsibility. And my goddamn headache." Something shuffles on the other end of the line. "You know exactly what I'm willing to do to keep one of my Shadows safe. But if you're so keen on turning yourself in, fine. I'll have you in front of Shepherd's desk first thing tomorrow. Is that what you want? You know Soap and Ghost put Shadows in the ground that night in Las Almas."
"Shadows tried to put Johnny and Ghost in the ground first."
"This isn't about who shot first. This is about you." His voice is dangerously low, but he keeps his temper in check. Then he huffs a laugh. "You keep callinâ him Johnny. Makes my brain itch." Johnny MacTavish. John MacTavish. Yeah, that's it. "I'll be damned," he mutters.
You touch your exposed soulmark compulsively as if to hide it. Most soldiers hide theirs, but yours has always been tough to cover up. He's seen it more than a few times.
"Got you right out from under my fuckin' nose."
Your stomach tightens. You feel too exposed, like suddenly heâs putting the story together--how 141 got in.
"Shoulda known. Shoulda known. You know the military has a registry for this shit. There are rules. What's wrong with you?"
"I made a mistake," you mutter.
That might be the funniest thing he ever heard. And he's heard some good jokes. "You don't make mistakes, kiddo. You never have. That's not how I trained you." He's right, and you know it. "But hey. Guess it's true what they say about it."
"What?"
"Soulbonds. Make you take your best-laid plans and raze âem. Full scorched earth.â
âThis isnât about that. Iâm making this decision on my own.â
âYou think?â He takes a puff on his cigarette. âI donât. I don't blame you, either. You sure as hell fought it as best you could. Didn't give in to save your own life. If that's not the soulbond making your decision for you, soldier, I don't know what is."
You look up at the sky. For all the time you spent working with Graves, that past version of you might as well be dead. Maybe thatâs the grave youâve been digging. "I can't work for Shepherd anymore. I won't do it."
"You're a good soldier, 86. You were loyal. I still think you're loyal, even if I'm not who you're loyal to," he finally says. His voice is still calm. It doesn't make you feel any better. "You know if you choose to walk away from this, the next time we meet might well be as enemies."
"Then I guess we won't meet again, sir."
He says nothing. Then he lets out a long huff. You really are going to do him dirty. You can hear his scowl. "That's a damn shame, kid. But you have more of a spine than I gave you credit for," he says. There's a tone of reluctant respect to it. That's as close as you're going to get to a compliment from him now. "You're a loose end, then. You'd best stay well out of the way. Mine and Shepherd's. I hope you're not making the wrong choice, 86," he says quietly. "I really hope you're not."
"Itâs out of your hands now. And pay KorTac," you add. "Pay my squad. They did their job."
That makes him scoff. "Now why would I do that? You might be a traitor, but you're still my investment. You were worth more on my payroll than theirs, and thatâs a fact I intend to maintain."
"You owe me," you remind him.
"Don't push your luck," he warns. "You're an asset. You donât get the privileges of rank anymore. But, well..." He sighs. You imagine him with his heels kicked back on his desk, cigarette in hand. "Iâll tell you what. Iâm in a charitable mood. I'll pay them off. I'm a man of my word when the time comes to pay off my debts. Hell, Iâll even throw in a tip for a job well done." Despite the annoyance in his voice, you don't doubt he'll do just that. "But that doesnât mean I trust you anymore. I trusted you once, and you went rogue. I let you go now, that means I expect you to keep my secrets. Don't you go singing if Shepherd puts you in a chair. You got that?"
You glance up out of the corner of your eye at Soap, whose hands are still clenched in tight fists at his sides. "If Shepherd puts me in a chair, he's the one who's gonna sing. Not me."
Graves chuckles. "You're a good soldier, 86, but you can't take on an old war dog like Shepherd. Leave that to someone more qualified."
"Like who? You?"
"As I said, you best steer clear. I don't want to hear your name again." His voice hardens, and you hear your old commander again. "Good luck, kid. You'll need it. And give Soap hell."
You toss the phone back to Horangi. He listens to what Graves has to say. Then, eyes meeting yours for a moment, he wordlessly moves out away from the river, leaving you weary with relief. It's over. Finally.
Soap watches him disappear into the trees. Then, he looks back at you, alone and shivering on the ice. You look half-dead, bleeding, and your lips are near blue. He wants to make his way to you, but the ice is scarcely holding you. It won't hold him, too.
"Oi," Soap calls. His voice is rough with anxiety. "Get over here. You're gonnae freeze to death even if you don't fall through."
You blink up at him. Standing in the rising sun the way he is now, he looks like someoneâs guardian angel. Yours? You'd like very much to be wrapped in his wings.
You make your way over to the bank, but the rocky ledge up is slippery and icy. Behind you, between the ice where you're standing and the bank, there's a yawning gap. To your left, there's a bridge, but snow has already melted off the surface of the ice, and it looks thin. "There's no way up," you call. "But downriver..."
"Noâ a chance in hell Iâm going to let you try to cross that," Soap says as he approaches the edge. "You'll be swept away and drown, hen. You're not in any condition to swim, and even if you were, that river's too bloody fast to risk it."
"Then what do you suggest?"
His eyes sweep over the river once more. It's wide; too wide to attempt a jump across. The ice has fallen in, leaving it almost impossible to make it to the bank. It isn't safe. The longer you stand there, the more the ice cracks under you. He admires your guts for putting yourself on the line like that to get back to him, but damn you. His blood pressure has never been higher.
Soap throws off his pack and slings his gear onto the bank. "I'll pull you up."
"But..."
"But nothing." With the adrenaline still pumping through his system, Soap thinks nothing of the risk of the bank collapsing under you both with his added weight. The only thing on his mind is getting you back in one piece. "We both know damn well, if I was the one on the ice now, you'd already be down there trying to help me, so for once, just shut up and let me help you."
Can't argue with that.
He pulls out an ice hook--mountaineering equipment; he was prepared to climb this mission, luckily--and offers it to you.
You toss the grenade as far as you can in the opposite direction. Then you raise your hands to grasp the rope. He's holding the sharp end and giving you the handle. You try to keep hold, but as he lifts, your bloodied hands slip just as the grenade explodes nearby, too close, spiderwebbing the ice with a final crack.
You land hard, break through, and disappear under the freezing water.
Soap has never known panic faster than when he sees you go under.
He dives after you. He has to get you back to the surface before whatever air you had in your lungs gives out. Your survival is his survival.
He finds you in the rushing black abyss when your fingers hook around his sleeve. Wrapping his hands around your arms, Soap anchors you to his chest.
You come to in his arms. You're colder than you ever have been in your life. Your fingertips tingle in pain and numbness. He's carrying you ashore somehow--far downriver, thinner ice--and he ducks into an old cabin with you in his arms.
Soap kicks the door shut behind him and moves into the cabin to set you on the floor, propping your back against the wall. His hands work fast as he pulls out his knife to cut away your soaked thermal clothes and gear. You dip in and out of consciousness until he wads up a fistful of gauze and packs it into your side wound. The sudden pain chokes you. Then a wave of nausea washes over you. Youâd like nothing more than to tell him where precisely he can shove that gauze, but youâre too lightheaded.
"You with me, hen?" His gruff voice wavers. "I need you to stay awake."
He gathers you up in his arms and lifts you into his lap. It's a tight fit, wedged underneath the frosty window and between a table and an upturned stool. You register the warmth of his skin on yours and dimly realize he's stripped both of you almost bare, huddling around you to prevent hypothermia.
You soak up Soapâs body heat instantly. He's a furnace, and he needs to be, given the state you're in. He tucks you as close as he can. You're both shivering, but he doesn't care. He can be cold as long as you're warm. His broad body shields you from the drafts leaking into the decrepit cabin.
"No, no, eyes open." He tilts your face up as your eyes flutter. "Don't go passin' out on me."
You gaze up at him in your stupor. Maybe it's the blood loss, but even through your own pain and frustration, he's the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen.
"You have really odd eyes," you mutter. "Like blueberry soft serve."
Oh, you're definitely delirious. Maybe concussed.
But he can't deny the look you're giving him right now makes his stomach flip. The sight of you in his lap, your frost-scorched fingers wrapped idly around his ID tag and staring up at him like he's just pulled the moon out of the sky for you... it's the first time heâs seen you with your guard down.
He swallows and keeps you pressed against his skin. Thereâs a lot of blood. He canât tell whatâs yours and what isnât. "You're in no shape to flatter me."
You hum, your fingers dabbing idly at a smear of blood on his chest.
He doesn't move to stop you. Instead, his eyes flick down to your hand. Your fingers leave a trail of sparks over everywhere you touch.
With a soft sigh, Soap catches your wrist. "Quit it, hen."
"Quit what?"
"Teasin'. Makin' me wish you'd put those hands to other uses," he says, voice quiet and rough. It's just you and him in the little cabin. The world is far away. His thumb rubs against the inside of your wrist, trying to bring some warmth back into your skin. "You're in no shape to be feelin' me up, either."
Your head lolls against his shoulder. "Maybe it's the perfect time. Maybe we won't get another time."
Hearing you say that twists his insides into knots. He leans down to rest his forehead against yours. "Maybe you just need to shut up and let me take care of you. Don't talk like that." His voice leaves no room for argument. He tightens his grip on you, pressing you closer as if he can somehow press that into your skin by sheer will alone. "There'll be plenty of times for you to get your hands on me."
"Mm." You tuck into him tighter. You'd be mortified with yourself if you weren't half-dead from blood loss. "Sorry."
He exhales into your hair, pressing chaste kisses there.
You're practically in his lap, the two of you tangled into each other from head to foot in the space under the window. He's surrounded by the smell of you. It's a soothing presence in all that surrounds him.
He shouldn't want to touch you, shouldn't want to take advantage of your weakness--but the thought of having you so open and wanting, of you willingly in his arms, makes something in him ache. Makes the selfish parts of him scream.
"You're a pain in my arse," he says. He focuses on taking inventory of your wounds, brushing over your arms with his touch to assess the damage. "You gonnae bleed out on me?"
You shiver a little as he drags you closer by your bare thigh. "Wouldn't be the worst way to go."
"Oi," he snaps in warning. He slides his hand up your side, checking for bleeding. Itâs just as much a caress over your bare skin. He has to ignore how his skin tingles every time the curve of your body slides against his in that tantalizing way. Something in his lower belly tightens. "You don't get to tap out after makin' me go through all this trouble for you. You're livin' through tonight or else."
"Or else what?"
"Or else." He moves his hand up to the base of your throat, his large, calloused fingers wrapping around your neck and tilting your chin up to look at him. He fixes his blue eyes on yours to take in the dazed expression on your face. "I'll drag your arse out of hell and tan it until you can't sit right."
You're too weary to laugh, but you rest your scuffed cheek on his thumb, and it pushes your lips into a smirk. "All for me?"
"Aye. Hell of a lot more trouble than your pretty face should be worth."
You pull free and rest your head on his shoulder again. "Where do you live?"
"Glasgow," he says. "Not sure I should be tellin' you that."
You trace his chest around the chain of his ID tag. So many muscles. "Probably not."
"And what about you? Do I get to know?"
"No. Maybe. If we get out of here."
"Yeah? Well, you're not goin' anywhere with this wound. Bleedin' out, nearly froze to death, and still mouthin' off. No idea how to shut up and be good." He looks down at the injury, assessing how bad it really is in the dim light of the cabin. "You lost a lot of blood. I bet you feel tired." He brushes your hair off your face. "Stay awake a bit longer. The boys'll be here soon."
"I shouldn't," you mutter.
Soap doesn't miss the slurring of your words. He knew the blood loss would affect you, but he was hoping for more time before he had to really worry. "Shouldn't stay? Too late to get away from me now," he says, trying to keep his tone casual. Your skin is too cold for comfort. The gauze in your wound soaking through with blood can't mean anything good. "I donât trust you as far as I can throw you. Sure as hell not letting you out of my sight. You've got a lot to repay me for."
You try to keep your eyes open. Every blink is more sluggish than the last. "Like what?"
"Runnin' away and makin' me chase after you, for one. Puttin' yourself in the line of fire for me, second. Takin' a swim in a frozen river. Scared me to death." He presses his lips to the crown of your head, a gentle, chaste touch at odds with the possessive, dominating instinct he can feel creeping into his thoughts. You're vulnerable right now, something he should never want, but part of him wonders if heâd ever have caught up with you without this. "Aye, you owe me. First thing we do once you're patched up? We have a long talk. We have a whole hell of a lot we need to say to one another. And you'll answer every question I ask you."
"I dunno if you'll like the stuff I say," you mutter.
"Hardly matters. Youâre plenty keen on spittinâ fire at me as it is. No reason you canât keep tellinâ me everything I donât want tae hear."
Another shiver wracks your body.
Soap rubs your arms. "You gotta give your word you stay awake for me, aye? Stay here."
His radio beeps nearby. You huff. "Fine."
"Fine." He leans over to grab his radio and tries to keep an arm around your shoulders to keep you warm as he does. He keeps you cradled against his chest as he responds to Price.
"Soap here."
You don't hear the conversation. Instead, you listen to Soap's voice vibrate through his chest. He speaks to Price in hushed tones, talking about your condition and the team's ETA.
Price has a laundry list of questions, but Soap manages to wrangle them into holding off until they have everyone back on base. No sense exhausting you on a mission that's already been a shitshow. Finally, they're done. Soap lets the radio go to focus entirely on you again. "Still with me?"
"How long do we have?"
"Shouldn't be too much longer," he says. He checks your side again. The coldness of the air has soaked into the wet gauze. You shiver again. It makes something in him ache. "ETA's about ten minutes out."
You pull his lips down to yours and kiss him.
He's surprised, but he doesn't pull back--not from you. He lets you kiss him. Your taste seeps into his brain and turns all rational thought to white noise. One hand cups your jaw with a surprising gentleness, and the other slides behind your waist to keep you against his body. He's gentle--you need to be handled with care right now.
He pulls back before he loses himself in the desire to deepen the kiss. His eyes search your face, his forehead pressed against yours, his breath hot against your lips.
"You're lucky you're injured," he murmurs. "Or you'd be in a very different kind of trouble right now."
You shiver, but not with the cold. Just that one kiss has you feeling much warmer. You touch your name where it's written on his arm. Then you curl your fingers around the back of his neck and pull yourself closer. "Hold onto that thought for later," you murmur. "Give me something to wait for."
Then you kiss him again.
...
â previous part / [part 13] / epilogue â
part 1 / more Soap / masterlist
thank you <3
#soulmate soap#mine#story#soulmate au#fem reader#john soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish#soap cod#johnny mactavish#soap mactavish#soap x reader#x reader#soap x you#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish x you#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#cod mw2#cod mwii#tf 141 x reader#cod#call of duty#tf 141#horangi#phillip graves
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blurb idea- r is spanish and plays for arsenal, one day she finds leah on duolingo trying to learn spanish and finds it so sweet and leah is just emberrased and lalalla and then r convinces leah to let her teach leah spanish (sorry if itâs confusingđđ)
it wasnât confusing đ€
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The training ground is quiet, still wrapped in early-morning fog, and you donât expect to hear anything but the hum of the groundskeeperâs mower. Instead, you catch a voice, stiff and deliberate, coming from the gym.
âYo bebo⊠el agua?â
You pause at the door, peeking in. Leahâs standing by the weights, holding her phone at armâs length like it might bite her. Her brow is furrowed, mouth moving around the clunky syllables like sheâs trying to chew them into shape. Youâre about to say something when she suddenly groans and yanks her headphones out. The familiar ding of Duolingo announcing another failed attempt echoes in the room.
âLa niñaâ what?â she mutters, more to herself than anyone else. She hasnât noticed you yet. âHow am I supposed to remember if sheâs drinking milk or eating an apple? Who drinks milk anymore?â
âLeah?â you finally speak, trying to keep the laughter out of your voice.
Leah jumps, nearly dropping her phone. Her face turns pink immediately, the kind of flush that spreads to her ears and down her neck. âOh, God. How long have you been standing there?â
âWhat are you doing?â you ask, even though you know perfectly well what youâve walked into.
Leah groans, stuffing her phone into her hoodie pocket like the evidence of her crime can be erased. âNothingâ
You raise an eyebrow. âNothing? Because it looked like you were arguing with Duolingo about la niñaâs dietary habits.â
She flushes deeper, and you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing outright. âItâs not what it looks like.â
âOh? So you werenât learning Spanish on the sly?â
âIââ she pauses, caught. âAlright, fine. I was. Happy?â
You grin, stepping into the room. âWhy?â
She shrugs, looking everywhere except at you. âI thought it might⊠I donât know, be nice? For youâ
That catches you off guard. âFor me?â
âYeah.â She scratches the back of her neck, a telltale sign that sheâs embarrassed. âBecause, you know, youâre always switching between Spanish and English so easily, and I just thought maybe I could⊠I donât know, keep upâ
Your heart softens despite yourself. âYou couldâve just asked me, you know. Iâd have helpedâ
Leah shrugs, suddenly fascinated with the floor. âDidnât want to bother youâ
âYou? Never a bother,â you say lightly, stepping closer. âBut if youâd rather an app keep roasting you, be my guestâ
Her gaze snaps to yours, the ghost of a smirk tugging at her lips. âThe owlâs ruthless, by the way. Keeps telling me Iâm on the verge of linguistic failureâ
You laugh, taking her hand and pulling her towards the weights bench. âAlright, letâs make a deal. Iâll teach you Spanish, but you have to actually listen to me. None of this owl nonsenseâ
âDeal,â she says quickly, her grin breaking through the last of her embarrassment. âBut only if you promise not to tell the team about thisâ
âCross my heart,â you reply, though youâre already imagining the look on the rest of the teams faces if they found out.
You sit yourself on the bench next to her, and start to teach her the basics. As she repeats the words after you, her accent is a disaster, but the determination in her eyes is unmistakable. And when she finally gets a phrase right, the way she beams at you makes your chest feel warm.
If this is her way of showing how much she cares, youâll take it. Even if it means enduring her tragic attempts at rolling her râs.
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