#yoga teacher barbie

[barbielore]

While browsing for information on a particular Barbie, I was surprised to see Google recommend appending the word "controversy" to my search. The Barbie in question?

Breathe With Me Barbie. Breathe With Me Barbie is part of a range of self-care and wellness Barbies and depicts Barbie in a sukhasana pose, promising "5 guided meditations".

Unsure of where the controversy around this could be going, I clicked through. This seemed to be the root of it.

"Each pose is designed to invoke a Hindu deity in the spirit realm. I have seen children get possessed by demons. ... Satan is after the children. He wants to use them and indoctrinate them for his glory. Then, when he is done, he will destroy them. As your kids grow, they will get rebellious, depressed, and many will be suicidal. You won't understand what's happening as a parent. You must remove all toys and clean your children's room of all demonic attachments."

Various websites from Business Insider to The Christian Post to Newsweek cite Christian influencer (or, in the words of Business Insider, micro-influencer) Yasmeen Suri as being the origin of the claim that this doll is an agent of Satanism.

This would not be the first person to associate yoga with Satanism or possession - exorcist Gabriele Amorth also associated the practice of yoga with increased chance of demonic possession.

I can't find a screenshot of this, though, and all links back to the Facebook post are dead. What I did find though is a Patheos satire article dated shortly before the rest of these articles citing "Jasmine Blades" from Christians Against Eastern Religions as the source of the same quote.

Neither Christians Against Eastern Religions or Jasmine Blades are real, of course, hence their inclusion in a clearly marked satire piece. But I don't know where this leaves real Christian influencer Yasmeen Suri and her alleged (re)posting of the same quote picking up steam a week later. I don't know whether she saw the satire post and reposted the quote, to take it down later once she realised, or whether these articles quoting her as the source are misattributions. I'm leaning to the former, but I'm not actually sure.

There's a Truth or Fiction page debunking this, but what it is debunking is a) whether Breathe With Me Barbie depicts the practice of yoga (it depicts meditation, not yoga), b) whether this was a new doll in 2022 (it was not, it was released in 2020), c) whether yoga is synonymous with Hinduism and d) whether Catholicism or Christianity more generally prohibit or warn against the practice of yoga as a matter of doctrine.

For the record, by the way, there are Barbies that are explicitly depicted as practicing yoga, such as I Can Be... Yoga Teacher Barbie.

Or that appear to depict the practice of yoga on the box art, such as the Made to Move series.

Or dolls such as this Fitness Barbie who is depicted with various fitness equipment such as weights and a hula hoop, as well as a yoga mat.

[superhaught]

Sweetest Girl (Chapter Two)

Pairing: Regina George x Reader

Warning(s): discussion of disability

Word Count: 2200, Part 2/?

Author's Note: I was able to finish chapter 2! I'm sorry for the massive delay since positing any writing, it's been a time recently. I'll keep doing my best but pls don't hold it against me if I don't post for a while again. I still care about Regina so so much. Thank you to bestie @sapphicantics for helping me go back to this and reading it first :P

Summary: Reader goes over to Regina's house to work on some more chemistry lessons.

Part 1

Friday’s chemistry lecture was cut off by the dismissal bell and the teacher frustratingly called out as students were already busting through the door, “quiz on Monday! Don’t forget and study hard this weekend!” 

You were packing up your notes when five perfectly manicured fingernails rapped on the corner of your desk. 

You looked up and met the blonde's eyes. 

“So quiz on Monday, can I get some extra tutoring this weekend?” 

You nodded slowly, “do you want me to come to your place?” 

“I do.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t want -“ 

“I already told you, yes. Stop being so weird about it. Tomorrow. Come over around lunchtime. My mom will feed us then we can work.” 

You bit your lip and then nodded again, “okay.” 

Regina gave you her version of a smile and then flicked her hair behind her shoulder as she left the classroom. 

You saw that the teacher had been watching your exchange.

“It’s working,” they said, “whatever you’re doing. Her homework was better.” 

“You definitely can’t tell me that.” 

“Just keep it up. She’ll be okay.” 

You smiled and nodded, hugging your books to your chest and leaving the classroom. 

After a twenty-five minute walk, you were standing at the end of the driveway to the George residence. 

You looked up at the massive house in awe. It was clearly a new build. Likely custom-designed by the Georges. Two stories. Huge yard. You imagined an underground pool and a deck with a built-in, year round jacuzzi in the back. A movie theater and second kitchen in the basement. A yoga room with a Peleton for Ms. George. Master bath with a soaking tub. 

You were afraid to go in. 

You stood outside and stared for a minute longer before finally walking up the driveway (not made of asphalt or cement, but pristine white rocks). You walked past Regina’s Jeep, a Mercedes, and an Audi all parked (as well as a children’s Barbie Jeep abandoned in the lawn, belonging to Regina’s younger sister you assumed). 

You giggled at that. You imagined Regina either beaming with pride or fuming with rage at the idea of her little sister wanting a matching car to Regina. 

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the front door and waited for a moment, hearing a faint “get the door!” from inside.

Regina opened the door, “hey, did you find parking on the street?” 

“Oh, I didn’t drive.”

“Someone dropped you off then? Do you have a ride home after?” 

You shook your head, “I walked.” 

“What the fuck?” 

A woman called out from inside the house, “Regina! Language!” 

Regina clenched her jaw and inhaled slowly through her nose, flaring her nostrils. 

“It’s not a big deal,” you responded quietly. 

Regina rolled her eyes, “I’ll drive you home when we’re done, Jesus Christ.” 

“You really don’t have to drive me home, it’s okay.” 

“Shut up, it’s literally nothing. Now come inside you weirdo.” 

You followed Regina in, and the interior of the house was even more grand than the exterior. 

You didn’t have much time to take it all in before Regina’s mom was pouncing on you and pulling you into a hug then holding your shoulders and examining you head to toe, “well aren’t you a cute little thing!? I love meeting Regina’s new friends.” 

“She’s my tutor mom.” 

“Cute and smart, then! Well I hope the two of you become friends, Regina needs good influences in her life.” 

“Mom.” 

Ms. George raised her hands in mock-surrender, “Sorry! I’m just trying to be helpful, my goodness.” 

You tried to force a smile and fidgeted with the zipper of your jacket awkwardly. 

“Did you make us snacks?” 

“Oh yes!” Ms. George trotted back into the kitchen and came back with a tray stacked with a variety of finger foods and fruity little drinks complete with excessive garnishes. She passed the tray to you, “here you ladies go. Study hard!” 

“Thanks,” Regina didn’t wait around any longer before starting up the staircase to the second floor and expecting you to follow behind.

“Um, it was nice meeting you!” You directed to Ms. George, “you have a beautiful home.” 

“Thank you sweetie-“ 

“Hurry up.” Regina cut her mom off while standing at the top of the steps with a hand on her hip.

You rushed up the rest of the steps and followed Regina into her room. She immediately went to her floor-length mirror and adjusted her hair while you set the tray of snacks down on her vanity. 

“Not there,” Regina snapped, as if it was obvious.

“Where then?” 

Regina pointed lazily toward the ottoman at the foot of her bed and you obeyed, setting the tray down and then helping yourself to a handful of homemade trail mix. 

Regina came over and sat down on her bed and grabbed a single celery stick to eat. 

You must have made a face that Regina noticed because she raised an eyebrow at you, “what?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Why are you making that face?” 

“Oh, nothing, I just don’t like celery.” 

“You don’t have to eat it.” 

“I know, Regina.” You could feel yourself shrinking as your shoulders slumped. 

“It’s like negative calories so.”

“Well, actually…” 

Regina narrowed her eyes at you.

“Nevermind. So, do you want to work on material for the quiz?” 

Regina threw herself backwards and collapsed into her duvet in exasperation, “ugggghhhh!” 

“That’s why you wanted me to come over, right?” 

“Well duh… I’m just tired.” 

“I’m sorry.”

Regina propped herself up on her elbows and looked at you, “for what?” 

“That you’re tired?” 

She scoffed, “you don’t need to be sorry about that. See? You’re too nice.” 

You shrugged, “I guess it’s just something people say.” 

“Oh? So you agree, then? That niceness is a facade that people use to disguise their true feelings?” 

You shook your head, incredulous, “I didn’t say that.”

“Are you really, actually sorry that I’m tired or are you just saying it, then?“ 

You took a beat to think and then answered emphatically, “I am actually sorry. It’s called empathy. I feel bad that you feel rundown, and if you aren’t up for studying today, I would understand.” 

She raised an eyebrow again in her classic fashion, “I guess I just really don’t understand that. Why would you feel bad that I’m tired? And why wouldn’t you be upset if I wasn’t in the mood to study after you put in the effort to walk all the way here?” 

“I don’t know why, that’s just how I feel. What should I say instead? I don’t care that you’re tired, suck it up I’m here to make you better at chemistry?” 

“Maybe you should,” Regina shrugged. 

You shook your head, “I don’t want to say that. That’s not helpful to anyone. Are you going to retain any of the content we go over if I push you to do it when you don’t feel good?” 

“How do you know I’m not lying or just complaining for the sake of it? Maybe I need to be pushed.”

“Fine, give me a reason then. Why are you tired?” 

Regina thought about it for a minute, then her voice came out surprisingly quiet, “you know the accident from last year? The bus thing?” 

You nodded. 

She sighed, “It’s been a long recovery. I don’t usually talk about it with anyone.” 

“You don’t have to talk about it with me if you don’t feel comfortable, but… I am here if you did want to. Talk about it, I mean.” 

Regina didn’t say anything. She started to pick at the skin around her fingernails. 

You recognized the behavior right away because you do it too. Without thinking, you moved to sit across from her on the bed and reached out, clasping your hand around hers. 

The blonde stared at you shocked. 

“Shit, I… I’m sor-“ you began, starting to pull away. 

She didn’t let you go, “It’s okay. Don’t apologize.” 

The gesture must have cracked her armor, if only a little. She shrugged her shoulders and explained, “the accident injured my neck and back so I’m doing physical therapy twice a week for that and I’ve been diagnosed with something called POTS. So my heart is all fucked up or something. I'm exhausted and in pain most of the time even though I'm taking like six different meds every day.” 

“That sounds really hard.”

“But I feel like…” her voice failed her. She frowned, cleared her throat, and started again, “I feel like I shouldn’t complain about it… wouldn’t be cute to bitch about it when everyone…” she lowered her head and stared at her comforter, “when everyone thinks I probably deserved it.” 

You frowned and squeezed her hand, “do you think you deserved to get hit by a bus?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe. It feels that way sometimes. Like I was supposed to learn some kind of lesson from it. Like I was supposed to suddenly be a better person and be grateful and be an inspiration or whatever. But that’s like some biblical bullshit. And I’m not a better person. I'm still just me but now my body doesn’t work and people don’t even bother pretending to like me anymore.” The dam had burst. The corners of her eyes started to sting with painful tears. “I’m not grateful. I don’t think what happened to me was an inspiration or whatever. I just wish I wasn’t sick and I wish that people didn’t expect anything from me.” With that, she retracted her hands from you, quickly wiped her face with her sleeves and she continued to look anywhere but right at you.

“Regina, thank you for sharing that with me. I want to help you as much as I can.”

“Why, though?”

“Because I want to.”

Regina met your eyes again, scrutinizing you. Trying to find deception that wasn’t there. 

When she finally gave up she just said, “I don’t understand you.”

You laughed, “I’ve gathered that.”

She smiled and then rolled her eyes.

“Hey, do me a favor, okay? Go change into something comfy and then lets just watch something for a bit. Whatever you want. We can recharge a little and then see about studying, and if it doesn’t happen, it’s okay.”

“Are you being serious?”

“Yes.”

Regina breathed a sigh of relief and then visibly relaxed before getting up and walking to her large closet. She came back out a few minutes later, having changed into baggy sweats. She wordlessly sat down at her vanity, tied her hair up in a loose bun, cleaned her makeup off and then replaced her contact lenses with glasses. 

You smiled to yourself while watching her. She caught you looking over in the mirror and you quickly looked away before seeing her reaction if any. 

When she came back to the bed, laptop in hand, she said, “I’d usually never let anyone see me like this.”

“Well, then I consider myself lucky. Unless you don’t plan on letting me leave here alive now that I’ve seen you ‘like this,’” putting air quotes around your words.

“Cheeky…” Regina smirked and sat back down on the bed next to you, constructing a pile of pillows against the headboard to lean on, “you wouldn’t know until it was too late, though.”

You smiled as she continued.

“I guess I just don’t really care right now.”

“Well, I’m glad that you feel at ease with me. Not that you’re any less pretty than before.”

“You liar!”

“What? I’m not lying!”

“I’m not pretty right now. I’m all puffy and my hair is gross and I have my stupid glasses on and I’m wearing my mom’s old college sweatshirt.”

You shrugged, “you are pretty, Regina. You have freckles, I didn’t know that. And your hair looks cute like this, the little strands framing your face… I don’t know, you look pretty to me.”

Regina narrowed her eyes at you and then shook her head, “okay, whatever. Let’s just… watch something now.” She redirected her attention to opening up streaming on her laptop, “have you ever seen Real Housewives?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Oh my god. Okay I’m catching up on New Jersey right now, I’ll try to fill you in.”

You smiled and nodded. 

She started the show and slid a little closer to you so that she could rest the laptop on both of your laps. 

You ended up watching the show all evening, only interrupted by Ms. George bringing some dinner upstairs for you both along with Regina’s meds.

“Sweetheart, you look… comfortable.” Ms. George remarked, her tone unmistakably judgemental. 

The corners of Regina’s mouth downturned just slightly.

“Yeah you know we just decided to have a relaxing night. No need to be all done up.” You smiled, “thank you so much for bringing us food, Ms. George.” 

The woman was thrown off and you felt victorious.

“Oh, of course. I’ll… go get you girls some popcorn.” Ms. Geroge left and shut the door behind her. 

Regina released a breath she was holding and whispered, “thank you.”

“For what?”

“For… for what you just did.”

You shrugged and took a bite of food, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Regina’s eyebrows raised and then she just laughed in disbelief before turning the show back on and saying, “you continue to surprise me…”

Next Chapter

[varpusvaras]

I don’t really have a set preference on who’s the oldest and youngest in the CC-batch in fics, but I do have my own order

Ponds: Oldest. Absolutely doesn’t want to be oldest because that means he has to be more responsible than everyone else. Please don’t put that on him. Please.

Wolffe: Second oldest. The one who ended up with the oldest daughter-syndrome. Takes his younger siblings to school and picks them up from there while playing either metal or Barbie Girl on full blast. Extremely adoptable. Plo Koon had those papers READY from the moment they met for the first time.

Cody: Third oldest. Counts himself to be one of the older siblings despite being the middle child. Appears very responsible and usually is, but then he starts doing weird shit out of nowhere. Gets together with an older man who looks like an English professor who part-times as a yoga teacher. Cody thinks that’s the hottest shit ever. He gets made fun of aggressively.

Bly: Second youngest. People think he’s the youngest sometimes, and he is offended every single time. Thinks he can get away from being made fun of from falling in love with his Jedi because at least his Jedi is young and cool. He does not. He has not been called by his actual name by his brothers in years now. One of them got into his discord account and changed his username to Simp-5052. Bly hasn’t been able to change it back. He has tried.

Fox: The youngest. The Baby. Tries to escape the Baby Jail every waking moment of his life. Thought he succeeded when Rex got adopted into the batch. He got set straight very quickly about his life-sentence still continuing. Thought he succeeded the second time when he became the Commander of the Guard. Then Plo Koon heard about him and showed up with more adoption papers and all of his vod’ike are now coddling him. Thought he succeeded the third time when he got married. All of his brothers wanted to give a speech at his wedding. The whole Galaxy now knows that he’s the baby. He wants to maim something.

Rex: The younger cousing who got adopted into the family. The youngest but not. Absolutely plays the little brother card when he needs it, but then the next moment says that he has never met these people in his entire life. The only truly responsible one of them all and he knows it.

[sxnii]

Hello I think your matchups are so cute and would be honored if you could do one for me!! I would like a matchup please! Post timeskip, haikyuu and long!!

Name: Averie

Zodiac: Cancer 🦀

MBTI: INFJ, the advocate

Likes: reading, video games, legos, cute stationary, Taylor Swift, Barbie, pink, glitter, tea, dogs, tan lines, the beach, strawberries, anything strawberry flavored

Dislikes: black licorice, super spicy food, horror movies, thunder storms (beyond terrified of them), cold/winter (I’m always cold), grape flavored anything

Hobbies: reading (I mostly read romance novels and mystery books)

Video games (I’ve been into animal crossing, stardew valley and legend of Zelda)

Legos

Swimming

Skin care/nails/journal/yoga (all stuff I sweep under self care)

Ideal traits: love languages:

Giving: words of affirmation and acts of service

Receiving: words of affirmation and quality time

Personality: someone who is sweet, and thoughtful, but not afraid to break me out of my shell sometimes. They would need to be patient with me because I am the type to overthink. I can be a ball of anxiety sometimes so someone who is patient and understanding with that would be great! Someone who’s funny and isn’t afraid to be silly sometimes, but also knows when to be serious. I would also love someone who’s also a hopeless romantic, but tends to keep the romantic gestures more private, I’m not big on pda due to worrying about making others uncomfortable, most I’ll do is a kiss on the cheek or holding hands.

Height: I don’t mind!! I love a short king, and I also love tall guys too, as long as they love me I’m cool with it yknow??

Other: also I love when people are like wow the way he just looks at you, that’s how you know he loves you. I want a guy that looks at me like I hung the moon. A soulmate if you will LOL

Personality: I have been told when you first meet me I come across either super nice or really disinterested. I have the worlds worst rbf and the most deadpan voice, but most times I’m trying very hard to come across nice! Once you get to know me I think I am very sweet and thoughtful, I try to remember little things about all my friends like favorite candies and snacks for gifts. I also am going to school to be an elementary school teacher, and currently work at a daycare! Due to working with kids, I like to think I’m pretty patient and don’t get angry very easily. Though I tend to thrive on routines and lists, and love cleaning and keeping myself extremely organized. I also am a very hard worker, despite working full time I still manage to maintain all As in grad school, and have and still would work myself to the point past burnout if someone does not make me take a break. I am caring, kind and empathetic, and try my best to stay positive in all situations!

Preference: male please!

I appreciate you if you’re able to do this!! Matchups are my favorite thing ever, I think the people who do them are so talented frfr 😚🙏

omg when i read what your future occupation was gonna be one i just knew who it i am actually geeking over it rn😭🙏 BUT I GOTCHU!!

Your matchup is: Sugawara Koushi!!

Bro like its actually so perfect i cant rn😭 No cause i legit searched on google the compatibility of cancers and geminis(suga is a gemini btw) and it said geminis bring cancers out of their shells!! its a match made in heaven i cant😭

Suga is also an infj and two infjs in a relationship w each other will make an insightful relationship which is stable. since you both are infjs you will be able to understand each other on an emotional level!!

and when i read that you were going to school to be an elem teacher i was like “its perfect how.” cause suga is also an elem teacher😭

i can imagine that would be how the two of you met and i think its really cute!! because like he would be nice and easy to approach and you guys would just compliment eachother so well i cant anymore🙏

imagine playing stardew w suga😋 thats actually so cute

sugas love languages are definately words of affirmation and quality time because i think he would love to spend his weekend afternoons alone at his house with his partner just spending time together!!

since suga is on the more caring type i think he would also know how to make you take breaks from overworking yourself!!

And since he is an infj he would know that you are trying your best to seem nice and as smn who is also like that(pls send me a suga irl i need it) its really refreshing to have smn who understands that you are not trying to be rude or look rude its just that you cant help it!!

——

Thats all i hope you enjoyed ur matchup!!

pics of suga btw!! (hes so cute😭🙏)

[theeternalwombtarot]

I have so many things I want to do, so many career paths I want to take and I’m always so worried I won’t have enough time. I need to be a stay at home mom-wife-midwife-doula-nanny-nurse-baker-social media influencer-yoga teacher-model-interior designer-kindergarten teacher-fashion designer before I leave this planet 🙄✋🏾 I wanna be just like Barbie.

Edit: and mermaid. Thankyou.

[blondmattel]

canon list of barbie’s occupations:

art / entertainment.   actor.  artist.  ballerina / dancer ( including cabaret, which i don’t know how they got away with ).  baker / cake decorator.  chef.  circus performer.  fashion designer, fashion editor, and model.  film director / producer.  floral designer and florist.  game show host.  interior designer.  make up artist.  musician and music producer.  photographer.  photojournalist ( for national geographic ).

business.   business exec.  candy / ice cream parlor clerk.  cashier ( gerocery shops / fast food ).  chief sustainability officer.  barista.  farmer.  hair stylist.  pet boutique owner and groomer.  secretary.  waitress.

education.   teacher ( art, ballet, cooking, english language, music, elementary, preschool, sign language, spanish, yoga, swimming ).

medicine.   veterinarian. dentist. doctor (surgeon, optometrist, pediatrician ). nurse. paramedic.

military.   army medic.  paratrooper.  united states air force pilot.  united states air force thunderbirds pilot.  united states army officer.  desert storm.  united states marine corps sergeant.  united states navy petty officer.

politics.   campaign fundraiser.  political campaign manager.  unicef ambassador.  united states presidential candidate.  vice presidential candidate.

public service.   detective.  firefighter.  judge.  lifeguard.  park ranger.  

science / engineering.   architect.  astronaut.  astrophysicist.  chemist.  computer engineer.  conversation scientist.  entomologist.  marine biologist.  microbiologist.  robotics engineer.  paleontologist.  wildlife conservationist.  zoologist.

sports / athletics.   aerobics instructor.  baseball player.  bowler.  boxer.  cheerleader.  figure skater and coach.  golfer.  gymnast and coach.  hockey player.  martial artist.  olympic athlete ( figure skater, climber, gymnast, karate, skateboarder, skier, softball, swimmer, and surfer ).  scuba diver.  snowboarder.  tennis player and coach.  track and field runner.  volleyball player and coach.

transportation.  aircraft engineer.  flight attendant.  pilot.  racecar driver for nascar.  tour guide. train conductor and host.

other.   bee keeper.  cat burglar / thief.  construction worker.  cowgirl.  dolphin trainer.  magician.  maid.  spy.  superhero.  treasure hunter.  zookeeper.

[versadies]

about me !

＊ introductory

— dan ・ 18 ・ bisexual ・ she/her

＊ likes

— pink, lilac, singing (esp in karaoke), writing stories, horror gameplays, school breaks, roadtrips, traveling, poetries

— food. ice cream (ill eat any flavor), salmon sashimi, french fries, pizza, broccoli, strawberries, ramen, fried rice

— people. funny people, moots <3, besties irl <3, chill people, listeners, talkative people, women, nice people overall

— movies/tv shows. bullet train (current fav), legally blonde (comfort movie), ocean’s 8, la-la-land, crazy rich asians, klaus (best xmas movie for me), barbie movies (old ones and 2023), crash landing on you, business proposal, train to busan, list goes on fr 💀💀

— tropes. sunshine-grumpy trope, friends to lovers trope, right person wrong time trope, soulmates trope, fairytale trope, right person right time trope, royal au, groveling trope

— music/songs/artists. lady gaga, taylor swift, megan thee stallion, lana del rey songs, vocaloid

＊ dislikes

— brown, extreme exercise, math, not doing anything, wasting time, yoga

— food. bell peppers, tomatoes

— people. cheaters, everyone mentioned in my dni list, wild kids, people who swear too much (swears after every word unnecessarily), people who dont respect boundaries, chronically online people, people who bodyshame others, hypocrites

— movies/shows. emily in paris and action movies that make me sleep (theres a lot so i wont bother naming them)

— tropes. miscommunication (if done wrong), pregnancy trope, student-teacher trope, red flags, stepsiblings trope (abs gasped when i found out it exists), second chance trope (if done wrong)

— music. overused songs in tiktok (ex. running up that hill, chrissy wake up, dont blame me, power)

＊ others

— genshin favs. zhongli, diluc, thoma, navia, neuvillette, wriothesley, wanderer, eula, yelan, jean, capitano, pierro and pantalone

— cookie run kingdom. moonlight cookie, dark cacao cookie, pure vanilla cookie, black pearl cookie, bts cookies

— tears of themis. artem wing

— honkai star rail. jing yuan, blade, kafka, welt yang, luocha, sampo, basically everyone fr

[fcrtnite]

mobile must list.

* full muse bios can be found here

dc comics. · arden waverly. professional hacker. fc ; kristen stewart · brooke larson. escort. fc ; sophie cookson · emily wayne. college student + heiress. fc ; abigail cowen · gia tedesco. real estate agent. fc ; danielle campbell · jenna wilder. hotel heiress + trust fund baby. fc ; sabrina carpenter · larken forrest. bruce wayne's assistant. fc ; dakota johnson

fandomless. · amelia thomas. college student + royal princess. fc ; elle fanning · antonia 'toni' flores. stripper. fc ; alexa demie · ariana ford. fashion design student + beauty influencer. fc ; cailee spaeny · astrid brooks. bakery owner. fc ; sydney sweeney · aurora gray. professional organizer. fc ; laura harrier · bella corday. reporter. fc ; lili reinhart · birdie clark. vampire + office receptionist. fc ; bailey bass · brynn crawford. high end prostitute. fc ; blake lively · carmen ortiz. con artist. fc ; adria arjona · corey mason. gas station attendant. fc ; taylor russell · devon taylor. werewolf + uber driver. fc ; chloe rose robertson · eliana hirsch. best selling author. fc ; jennifer connelly · estella greenwood. restaurant owner. fc ; phoebe tonkin · felicity carter. figure skater. fc ; phoebe dynevor · freya mancini. mob wife + stay at home mom. fc ; megan fox · gabriela rajković. cam girl. fc ; mirela balić · gemma morgan. bartender. fc ; adèle exarchopoulos · gwendolyn hope. witch + library clerk. fc ; lucy hale · hannah parker. doggy day care + serial killer. fc ; aubrey plaza · harlow gatlin. college student. fc ; madison bailey · hazel wells. private chef. fc ; florence pugh · india hayes. freelance copywriter + novelist. fc ; zazie beetz · ireland cardoza. struggling actress. fc ; camila mendes · isabel jackson. ex-tennis pro + tennis instructor. fc ; camilla belle · jaclyn prescott. divorce attorney. fc ; jenna dewan · josefina delgado. pop singer. fc ; maia reficco · kitty moran. exotic dancer. fc ; ashley moore · leia holt. vampire slayer. fc ; genevieve padalecki · liliana gregory. model. fc ; barbara palvin · lorena silva. psychic. fc ; barbie ferreira · maggie simmons. college professor. fc ; natalie portman · mai hayashi. drug dealer. fc ; anna sawai · miranda westbrooke. advertising ceo. fc ; rachel weisz · naomi ricci. nanny. fc ; kaia gerber · odesa aquino. flight attendant. fc ; kathryn bernardo · paige cole. dj + sugar baby. fc ; khadijha red thunder · piper drayton. vampire + yoga instructor. fc ; dove cameron · quinn strauss. exotic dancer. fc ; belle thorne · ripley ashford. on air meteorologist. fc ; margot robbie · rosalyn suarez. werewolf + entrepreneur. fc ; eva de dominici · ruby harding. medical student. fc ; grace van patten · sienna ledger. retail slave + camp counselor. fc ; maika monroe · sutton barnes. publicist for mlb team. fc ; katie mcgrath · tinsley palmer. professional thief. fc ; ella purnell · valentina alvarez. kindergarten teacher. fc ; camila marrone · willow donovan. barista. fc ; madelyn cline · zoe french. famous tv actress. fc ; dua lipa · zya fox. makeup artist. fc ; coco jones

fandomless / period only. · elizabeth thornton. royal princess. fc ; lea seydoux · genevieve berry. royal. fc ; alisha boe · rose fitzroy. royal princess. fc ; holliday grainger · samira patel. commoner. fc ; anya chalotra

misc. tv shows · eloise belfron. helaena targaryn's lady in waiting. hotd. fc ; rose williams · maricela velasco. narcotics detective. law & order svu. fc ; eiza gonzalez · sylvia becerra. svu detective. law & order svu. fc ; jessica alba · mary turner. doctor's assistant. the musketeers. fc ; gugu mbatha-raw · savannah reacher. fbi agent. reacher. fc ; rosamund pike · thea montgomery. mechanic. sons of anarchy. fc ; riley keough · clementine roy. interior designer. succession. fc ; alexandra daddario · nadia shepherd. hunter. supernatural. fc ; crystal reed · tess reddick. hunter in training. supernatural. fc ; odesa a'zion · stella cabrera. waitress at harvelle's roadhouse. supernatural. fc ; priscilla quintana · zelda mulder. paranormal private detective. the x-files. fc ; margaret qualley

misc. movies · abigail barrett. vampire + waitress. twilight. fc ; madelaine petsch

[gmandco]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Shein Curve Coral Tie Waist Ruffle Skirt Size 0XL 1 0181.

[greenthey]

The inner children wanted mac & cheese again (thank gawd I went to the grocery store hungry.) But I didn't realize these noodles came in with the mix and used too much water, so... soup 🍲

They are still slightly chaotic because I didn't eat til late 🙄 I'm sorry, beebees

Message from teen self: Teacher. She doesn't mean the good kind 😂 Inner Teen is still pissed about AUTHORITY. Ok I'll blast more angsty music. She esp likes "All that's Known" from Spring Awakening.

She says "Listen to yourself. Believe yourself."

Message from 6 y/o self: Bohemian again & Vanity. I know you learned modesty in a traumatic way, little one. I am here guarding you on the stairs. You don't have to say goodbye to them. Go play with your toys, be the capricious god of some barbies. This was supposed to be your day

My great aunt Kathy is here too, in the Bohemian card. She was a weeeeird and magickal bitch. She taught yoga and practiced reiki and my mom still gets ghost texts from her. She knows what 6 y/o went thru. She will protect the child 🥲

[foster-the-world]

First week of school

Rebel started preK. They are only doing 2 hours a day to transition in the kids who are a little unsure. Rebel’s used to daycare and has been dying to go to big kid school since Bee started last year. She has fourteen kids in her class and six of them are twins! All of the twins were practically sitting on each others laps for story time. In the long run I am glad the girls aren’t in the same grade/class. I’m sure some of the twin parents would have liked them in different classes but because of Covid that’s not a possibility. However, seeing the twins have each other made me a little sad for the girls. Prior to starting school they spent every minute of their life within five feet of each other. That ending is sad, even if it’s a good thing. I’m not sure if they will be together in the after school program, or not. It doesn’t start until next week. PreK had its own entrance to the school, playground, etc. 

Meanwhile, Bee had to walk through the K-8th grade courtyard to get to her class line. She said “who the heck are all of these people.” :) More than 70% of her class is the same kids from last year because the Spanish track only has one class. Once she saw her friends she was fine. Her after school report “Kindergarten is all sitting around waiting for your next meal.” Hilarious. I have no idea where she got that sentence from. We don’t even use the word meal and as far as I’m aware they eat breakfast at their desk and then lunch. She was “too tired” to tell us more about her day. We learned a lot more when she wanted to play school. She apparently went to yoga class where “you are not allowed to fall asleep.” Her teacher sent around a nice email. Although only to me, even though I specially included my husband because he is taking the lead on school stuff this semester - while I tackle the first semester of nursing school. The teacher has been teaching for 20 years. 15 years at this school. She was born in the neighborhood. Her daughter went to the school. She seems great. Although she does not at all look old enough to have done any kind of career for 20 years. 

We partially chose the school for diversity but last year many/most of the black and brown families chose the remote option. It’s so nice to have them back. Four little girls in Rebel’s class have braids/beads, just like her.

Her Birthday request was a doctor barbie. I could only find white ones. So I bought that kit and am going to switch out the white doctor for a brown barbie. Of course, most of the black barbies had long, straight brown hair. Bee always comments on wanting my hair - so I paid extra for the barbie with two curly puffs. 

[raederle-phoenix]

Mom sent me a video called “Could it be Aspergers?”

Raederle: I've been learning a lot about autism recently. Btw, It's no longer trendy to call anything on the spectrum Asperger's, apparently.

Mom: It may not be trendy, but while I'm comfortable saying, “I have Asperger's,” I am not comfortable saying I have mild Autism.

Raederle: Many people have the opposite feeling because of the guy Asperger's was named after.

I'm watching the video now. It's good thus far. I was the “Italian driver” as a kid, as he put it. I didn't read the signs in social situations. lol

Lytenian has noooo tolerance for people shouting. (9 minutes into the video now.) 

Lytenian also can't wear a mask without having a panic attack. Every time we go grocery shopping I have to pause and hug him regularly while he hyperventilates.

Accountants are shown to be really likely to have aspy kids, lol. (Looking at you.) [Mom has always had a passion for accounting.]

He tells the story around minute fourteen of the kid who ends up studying psychology . . . And points out he has been studying people since he was three because it was the only way to cope. Man do I relate to that. And so does Dad, I'm sure. [Dad studied psychology in college and went on to continue to study it for life. He’s the one who introduced me to transactional analysis and NLP.]

OMG. Minute 20. Aspy girl observes the popular girl. “What does she wear? Pink. I'll wear pink-pink-pink. What does she like? Barbies. I'll get 100 Barbies!” I don't recall deciding to do that due to any particular girls I knew, but perhaps I used TV as a model.

OMG #2. Minute 22. Sometimes the aspy girl can't find acceptance so she gives up copying the others and turns to things like promiscuity, so at least she can get acceptance that way.

Did Dad watch this with you? LOL. 

Yoga and meditation. “Tell aspies to do it because it makes them smarter. Explain that being upset makes their IQ drop 30 points. Yes, it will drop into the normal range.” LOL. 

Wow. He even mentioned narcissism toward the end.

Mom: The video is SO on point – for you, me, Dale, Carlos – I didn't know about Lytenian.

Raederle: Ah, of course Carlos. And obviously Michael. [My nephew.] I think our family is actually a magnet for aspy people. [I named other friends of the family.]  

[The next day] Raederle: I'm now questioning whether Greg has a touch of it after all. The man in the video did say that a percentage of people were subclinical . . . I really want to know all about the genetics of it. How many different genes are we dealing with? Three? Fifteen?

Mom: Good question.  And I also wonder about that. But I don't think that genetics has the final say about it. I think a lot of it is things like mercury poisoning. Early trauma that affects the brain.

Raederle: I used to think it was more about things like mercury poisoning, but after learning about how the dynamics of HSPs [Highly Sensitive People] work, and that hundreds of other species have HSPs, and that they serve an important role in society, I now think aspy people serve a nature-intended role. 

I think the enhanced awareness and diagnosis of people with autism could actually be due to our society becoming more dysfunctional. When the diet everyone ate was healthy, and when communities were more supportive and close-knit, aspy people would have had a strong support system that accepted them as they were. The healthy food and healthy relationships would keep their anxiety down and their strengths would shine through. 

With the way society is structured now, it is too hard to cope as an aspy, so the ones in the latest generation are becoming spokespeople.

Mom: Certainly a valid argument.  And certainly aspies serve valid functions, just as do homosexuality and other 'aberrations'. 

But I think the trigger is always early trauma.

Consider that the very things that cause violence and narcissism are violence and narcissism.

And in societies where those are rampant, they are considered good traits.

Raederle: Hmm. But violence and narcissism are behavioral patterns. Autism impacts the neural pathway structure itself, and even how many hormones are released in conjunction to certain stimuli . . . Then again, I suppose behavior works that way too. Our brains develop neural superhighways based on whatever we do a child while we are using dendrites rapidly in our brain to make connections.

I still think there is something different going on with things like autism and being an HSP, however. When someone does a lot of shadow work, they can find themselves increasingly healed from a need to have a narcissistic relational style, but their brain set-up (being good at pattern recognition, or being more focused on incoming sensory stimuli, as examples) actually gets better at what it was already doing; it doesn't change to suddenly become neuro-typical if it wasn't previously.

Mom: Also good points, but the premise, logic, and brain power are getting beyond me. My brain doesn't do things it used to. [Mom is over seventy now. She had me when she was forty-two, and I’m thirty-one now.]

Raederle: *sad*

Mom: Yeah I know.  Such is life.

Raederle: I brag to people all the time that in college you had a 4.0 in calculus. :)

Mom: I brag to myself about it.  But I went back once to audit a class, and couldn’t follow it.

Raederle: I've started re-learning all the math I knew in high school from Greg. And he's going to teach me calculus after I'm caught up. From there, Scott might teach me more.

Mom: That would be cool! Bear in mind that my first calculus teacher (they taught it over three semesters) was extremely good.

Raederle: I'm sure. It helps that I get to have one-on-one tutoring. While I learn a lot from books now, I still learn a board game better from a good teacher than from a manual. The idea of learning math from a book scares the daylights out of me. I never learned a thing about math from a book.

It seems more natural to learn about people and psychology from books, and yet learn about math from people.

Okay, that is a weird thing . . . lol.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you have a vlog? No. I have no interest in being a vlogger/YouTuber. Plus, my vlogs would be incredibly boring. 

If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? Nope. Like I said, they’d be incredibly boring. I also just don’t want to be in the front of the camera and I wouldn’t feel comfortable uploading videos like that about myself.

Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? I remember going in the morning.

What are your favorite youtube channels to watch? I have several--from vloggers to lifestyle videos to ASMRtists. 

Which relative(s) do you look the most like? My mom.

Have you ever watched a live birth video? I’m still scarred from the Miracle of Life video we had to watch in middle school. I covered my eyes for most of it, but unfortunately I saw some things. lol.

Have you ever given birth? No.

Do you remember when the Internet was a new thing? I remember when it was new for me. 

Do you remember Y2K? Yes.

How old were you when the year changed to 2000? I was 10 at the start of the year.

What was your favorite childhood vacation? Disneyland trips. Back then a few of my cousins and aunts came along as well and it was so much fun.

Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? No.

What's your birth order: oldest, middle, or youngest? I’m the middle kid.

Do you fit the stereotype for whatever birth order you are? I do have some of the middle kid bullet points, such as we’re apparently people- pleasers, peacemakers, and sometimes feel like the odd one out.

Have you ever worn overalls? Yeah, as a kid.

If you're a girl, how old were you when you started your period? I was 13.

Do you get cramps? I don’t have my period anymore due to health reasons, but back when I did I had horrible cramps and basically every other awful symptom physically and emotionally. Wasn’t a fun time at all.

Is your mom mentally stable? Yes.

Is your dad a complete jerk to you? No, not at all.

Where do you want to go on vacation next? Who knows when it��ll be safe to travel again. It’s hard to even think about it right now.

What is one place you want to visit before you die? Sweden.

Has anyone ever committed suicide in your town, that you know of? Yeah.

What's your favorite type of crackers? Cheez-Its, Nips, Goldfish, Ritz, and the Keebler Club crackers.

What's your favorite spice? Garlic, oregano, basil, paprika, black pepper, parsley, chives.

Are you sensitive? Yes.

Are you intuitive? In some ways.

Are you spiritual? Depends on your definition of spirituality. Some see it in the religious sense, while for others it’s about non-religious experiences and getting in touch with their inner selves through stuff like yoga, meditation, and nature. I fall in the first group.

Do you wish your life were easier? It’d sure be nice if things lightened up and were more manageable, ya know?

What color hair did your first crush have? Brown.

What was the name of your first crush? Philip. 

Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? Doesn’t ring a bell.

Do you remember your first email address? lol yeah. 

Did you name your lego characters? I don’t think so.

What was/is your high school's mascot? I’m not sharing that.

What is/was your favorite class in high school? I liked English, Spanish, and the piano class I took my senior year.

Is college an adventure? You could say that.

Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? Not at the moment.

If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse? The anxiety meds were helpful, but the anti-depressants were not.

If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? I’m not on birth control.

Who is your favorite cousin? I used to be really close to a few of my cousins, but not anymore in recent years. That’s largely because of me. :(

Do you look your age? People have said I look younger.

What's your favorite flavor of frosting? Good ol’ vanilla.

Do you like toe socks? Nah.

Muffins or cupcakes? I like both.

Have you ever had a bag stolen? No.

How old were you when you got your first phone? I was 15.

Are you ready for summer?!?! Ew, no, don’t even start with that shit. It’s nice and cold here and I love it. Summer is always so long and miserable, I don’t miss it when it ends.

Is winter your favorite season? One of them. Fall is the other. How many people do you know who've said winter is their favorite season? I say that. It’s not a popular opinion, but I don’t care.

Are you unique in any way? I don’t feel very unique. 

Do you have any hidden talents? Nope. Unless they’re super hidden and I haven’t discovered them, yet, but I highly doubt it.

Has anyone said you and your mom look like sisters? Yes. 

Who was your best friend in high school? I had a couple my freshman and sophomore year and then it changed my junior and senior year.

What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? Ha, I was actually scared of Ghostface from Scream as a kid. I had a reoccurring nightmare about being chased by him. Now, the Scream movies are among some of my favorite scary movies.

What song makes you cry? Everlong (the acoustic version) by Foo Fighters.

Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? Yeah, I had told one of my cousins.

How many teachers have you had crushes on? Zero.

Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? I clearly remember making my Barbies have sex lol, so it was way past that stage hahah <<< lmaooo I did that, too. :X

Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? Yeah.

How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16.

Do you like church? Yes.

Do you have scars from self-harm? No.

Do you have cellulite? No.

How old were you when you started getting zits? When I was 13.

Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? In the fact that I got blonde highlights in middle school.

Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? Shorter.

Would you ever consider adopting a child? I don’t want to have children.

Who was your first roommate? I’ve never had one.

Have you ever had a teacher who was rude? I had two really rude math professors in community college. They were awful.

Is your mom paranoid? No.

Do you trim your own hair? I did when I had bangs.

Did your mom read you bedtime stories as a child? Yes.

What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? A witch and vampire stand out the most, but there were others.

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? My dog, Scruffy.

Did you have your own room as a child? Yes.

What color was your nursery? I don’t know.

Did your parents know your gender before you were born? I think so. Was that a thing back in 1989? lol I’m dumb.

What is your name (first and middle)? All you need to know is Stephanie.

What would you have been named if you had been born the opposite gender? My mom has said Jesse.

Do you like your name? Sure.

What would you name your children? I’m not having kids.

Do you exercise regularly? I don’t exercise at all. 

Do you have a healthy BMI? I’m underweight.

What is your favorite season? We’ve been through this.

Do you look like your mom? Yes.

What is the origin of your last name? Irish.

What is the meaning of your first name? “Crowned”, I think.

What month were you born in? July.

Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family? Nope.

Do you have a sweet tooth? Nah. I crave sweets now and then.

What photo editing software do you use? Usually, I just use the filters on Snapchat or Instagram, but I have a couple photo editing apps with other filters. That’s the only thing I do to my photos, I don’t go crazy with it.

Where do you buy most of your clothes? Hot Topic and Boxlunch.

[thewritewolf]

Adrien, Agreste No Longer: Chapter 8 - Truth

Barbie pays a visit to Adrien's class.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4��| Chapter 5

Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 (Final)

Read on Ao3

The return to school went surprisingly well. With how diligent Adrien was with his homework - especially with his schedule so free these days - he didn’t even fall behind in the slightest. Ms Bustier must have been feeling pretty sympathetic for him, since his switching seats with Alya went completely uncommented on.

As he held Marinette’s hand under the table and idly chatted with his girlfriend, it felt like nothing - absolutely nothing could ruin this moment.

“Oh my goodness! Adrien!”

Not even Lila.

With the infinite patience that only the truly happy could muster, Adrien turned slowly to Lila and gave her a smile. “Good morning.”

As she winded up to reply, no doubt about to spin some story or another, Adrien very carefully, very nonchalantly rested his hand on top of the table. The same hand which was intertwined with Marinette’s. Lila make an unflattering choking sound when she noticed it, but before she could recover the bell rang.

“Take your seat please, Lila,” Ms Bustier gently but firmly reprimanded. Once she had reluctantly sat down, Bustier continued. “I have a surprise for you today, class. We have a very special guest speaker coming in today and I want you to be on your best behavior.” There was a quiet murmur through the students that she let go on for a few moments. “Please give a warm welcome to Barbie Roberts!”

Adrien clapped energetically along with the rest of his classmates as his new mom walked into the room. Her clothes were about as casual as Barbie got, but her wide smile was just as radiant as it usually was as she took in the enthusiastic greeting.

“And a warm hello to all of you too!” Barbie nodded at Ms Bustier as the teacher stepped aside to lean against the wall. “Now, I’m sure you all have plenty of questions to ask before we get started. Does anyone-”

Kim’s hand flew up with such force he almost threw himself out of his seat. Barbie bit down a giggle.

“Yes, Kim?”

His eyes widened. “Woah! How do you know my name?!”

“Well, when I found out what class my son Adrien was in, I memorized the names and faces,” Barbie explained. “I hate forgetting a face. It feels so callous.” She shivered. Everyone in the room nodded - that fit what they knew about the benefactor of dozens of different charities. “Anyway, you had a question, Kim…?”

“Oh yeah. Didn’t you win an Olympic gold medal for gymnastics? What was that like?”

“You meathead!” Alix said as she turned to look at him. “She has a gold medal in rock climbing, not gymnastics!”

“Who are you calling a meathead, shortstack?”

“Actually,” Barbie interjected before the name calling could worsen. “I have gold medals in both. 2012 for the gymnastics and 2016 for the rock climbing. Plus skiing and martial arts from a few years before that.” Barbie snapped her fingers as she remembered. “Oh! And I’ll be joining the American team in the new skateboarding event in Tokyo this year.”

An awed murmur went through the classroom. She described all the time she spent with her Olympic teams, the training she put herself through to reach peak physical condition. How it felt to stand on the podium stage with the gold medal, and how it never became any less wonderful.

“Wait,” Max said, standing up from his seat. He pushed his glasses up. “Does that mean you didn’t actually have time to become an astronaut then?”

“Oh no, I did that too! But it was years ago.” Barbie tapped at the side of her face as she thought. “1986, I think? Anyway, it was a very interesting time, being out in space and all. Nothing really puts things in perspective better than looking down on Earth from way up high.” She smirked. “Plus it was very cool to do some training and yoga in zero gravity.”

They all listened, enraptured as she recounted her time as an astronaut. From all the rigorous testing she went through, to the names of the scientists, engineers, and the entire crew she worked with during that time.

“Wow, Barbie!” Rose said, her voice a couple pitches higher than usual from all the excitement. “You know so many interesting people!” She giggled. “But we also have someone in the class that knows you too!” Adrien felt Marinette tense beside him and he rubbed comforting circles with his thumb over her hand.

Barbie gave Rose a warm smile that seemed to send her over the moon. “Of course! You must be talking about Adrien.”

Rose vigorously shook her head. “Adrien goes without saying.”

A brief look of confusion crossed Barbie’s face before she snapped her fingers. “Oh! I can’t believe I nearly forgot Marinette.” She beamed a smile to Marinette that put the sun to shame with its radiance. “I absolutely adored what you can do with fabric. Plus, you told me about that dreadful gala where I found Adrien.”

“You didn’t say you’d met Barbie,” Rose said to Marinette, pouting a little.

“With everything that happened after, I guess it sort of slipped my mind?” Marinette replied, giving an apologetic smile.

Rose immediately returned to her bright and happy smile. “That’s okay, Marinette!” She looked back to Barbie and gestured behind her to Lila, who was doing her best to fade into the background and go unnoticed. “No, I’m talking about our own Lila! She’s talked tons about how you two have worked on charities.”

There was silence in the room. Barbie looked at Lila, her trademark smile still in place, but no recognition in her eyes.

“Lila…?”

“Rossi,” Rose supplied. “Lila Rossi? Just last month you two were working on a charity to help orphaned baby birds find new nests.”

Barbie frowned and shook her head, looking very remorseful. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember anything like that. I suppose it must have slipped my mind.” She gave a small laugh and clapped her hands together. “Well, if that’s all for questions, I can start my speech. Strap yourselves in for this one!”

Despite how interesting her presentation was, Adrien could feel the tension in the room. Barbie was many things, but forgetful was not among them and everyone in the class knew it.

Just when Adrien thought his day couldn’t get any better, Barbie unseated the queen of lies without even trying to. It was like she had said - the best thing about being the good guys was always having truth on their side.

[bamon4bamily]

TVD 9x08 (part 2) Enjoy! =)

Cut to – A beautiful beach resort in Mexico’s Mayan Riviera. Bonnie, Damon, Caroline, and Stefan are checking in.

RECEPTION LADY: Welcome to Akumal, Mexico; the best kept Caribbean secret! (They hand them some welcome cocktails).

BONNIE: (Amazed with the tropical beauty) This place is paradise…

DAMON: (Takes a sip of his cocktail, wraps his arm around Bonnie) Me, you, and this beautiful beach, definitely paradise (kisses her).

CAROLINE: (Looking at a brochure) Bonnie, look, they have yoga on the beach, every day at 7am; I’m signing us up! And they also have a spa, we totally need some massages, how do hot stones at five sound?

DAMON: Slow down, Care Bear, no need for an itinerary; that’s the whole idea of a vacation.

BONNIE: Yes, Care, forget about time! We are free to do what we want, when we want; no plans required, that’s the beauty of it.

CAROLINE: You are right… I’m putting control freak Caroline on pause; no need to panic if there’s no schedule… right? (They laugh at Caroline’s struggle to let go) I’m just gonna let careless Caroline take over from now on… Oh! They have meditation at sundown! (Bonnie takes the brochure from her hands) Pause, I’m pausing!

STEFAN: (Who has been looking at a brochure as well) Ooh, they have a library…

DAMON: (Takes the brochure from his hands) Are you freakin kidding me?!

STEFAN: Okay, okay… pause on the bookworm play on the chill.

BELLBOY: Let me show you to your rooms.

Cut to – Mystic Falls, the Mayor’s house. Edward is lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Anthony knocks.

 EDWARD: Come in.

ANTHONY: Sir, I brought you some tea (gives him a cup).

EDWARD: Thank you (takes a sip). You always know exactly what I need.

ANTHONY: If I may say, Sir, I’m concerned. You haven’t left your room in days.

EDWARD: Just meditating, is all.

ANTHONY: Oh, really? So this has nothing to do with the unexpected visitor staying at your guest house?

EDWARD: I’m surprised he didn’t demand to be given my master bedroom. After all, it is his house…

ANTHONY: He might have paid for it, but it is your home, not his. I know this must be very difficult, having to see him again, let along having him under the same roof.

EDWARD: Well, I don’t even remember the last time he was around, so it’s basically like bedding a stranger.

ANTHONY: Sir, you know I don’t like to intrude in your business matters, just promise me you will be careful.

EDWARD: I will, but there is no need to worry, Anthony, I have this under control.

ANTHONY: With all due respect, Sir, you lost that control the moment you allowed him to walk through the door.

EDWARD: I appreciate your concern, but trust me, I know what I’m doing.

ANTHONY: If you say so… Well, I’ll leave you to your thoughts now; good night, Sir.

EDWARD: Good night, Anthony.

Cut to – The Salvatore School. Alaric is showing Tyler and Lexi around.

 ALARIC: So, what do you guys say?

LEXI: Never thought of myself as a teacher, but I think it could be fun, I’m in!

TYLER: Me too. Might not be the best role model, but let’s be honest, who is?

ALARIC: Great, welcome to the faculty! (Katherine walks by).

KATHERINE: So, Ric, are these my new colleagues?

LEXI: Are you kidding me?! (Looks at Alaric) Alaric?

ALARIC: Please don’t judge me, she can be very persuasive. Plus, she does have some cool tricks to teach…

TYLER: Does Caroline know?

ALARIC: Not yet.

TYLER: She’s gonna kill you.

ALARIC: I’m hoping her vacation time will ease the news.

LEXI: Oh, it totally won’t! Good luck with that.

KATHERINE: Well, I’m late for my class, and those little brats are a recipe for disaster. See you at the teacher’s lounge (winks and walks away).

Cut back to – Akumal, Mexico. Damon and Bonnie’s hotel room. Bonnie comes out of the bathroom, changed into beach attire.

DAMON: (Completely taken with her beauty) God… you are so beautiful (they kiss; things start to heat up. Bonnie takes his shirt off, he takes her beach dress off; they move on to the bed. He unties her bikini strap… someone knocks).

CAROLINE: (Standing outside the door) Hey, guys, you ready?! Let’s hit the beach!

DAMON: Oh, you have got to be kidding me! Does she not get what pause means??!!

CAROLINE: (Knocks again) Guys!! Are you there? Stefan is waiting for us, come on!

DAMON: (Shouts) Timing, Barbie, timing!!!

CAROLINE: What?! (Pauses for a bit, then it hits her) Oh, oh… yes, pause, I’m on pause; sorry!!! Take your time, we’ll meet you down there!

BONNIE: (Laughs, kisses him) Tell you what, why don’t we go down, enjoy the beach while there’s still daylight. We’ll bring this cliffhanger to its resolution when the timing is right. (Kisses him again, ties her bikini strap, gets up, puts her beach dress back on).

DAMON: (Gets up, puts his shirt on and grabs her hand, as they are walking out…) Maybe we should have told her to push the off button… (she smirks, they leave the room).

Cut to – A dorm room at the University of Munich. Elena and Sam are unpacking.

 SAM: (Takes a little black box out of one of Elena’s boxes) What’s this?

ELENA: (Takes the box, doesn’t seem to know what it is, or why it’s even there) I have no idea, I didn’t pack it, did you?

SAM: No; that’s weird… maybe it’s another gift from your friends?

ELENA: I don’t think so… (opens the box, inside is some sort of formula with a note that reads: No matter where you are, your past will always follow you…) What the hell?

SAM: Let me see (looks closely at the test tube); looks like some sort of formula? How did it get passed airport security? 

ELENA: I don’t even want to know.

SAM: We can test it out at the university lab, find out what it is.

ELENA: No, just throw it out. I moved here to get away from the insanity, I’m not about to open Pandora’s box.

SAM: Are you sure? It looks like it might be important…

ELENA: I’m sure.

SAM: (Puts the formula and note back in the black box) I’ll take care of it. So, there is an alumni cocktail tonight, want to go? I think it would be good so we can start to integrate...

ELENA: I’m still a bit jet-lagged, but I think I can handle a drink or two.  

SAM: That’s my girl (kisses her; they start to make out).

Cut to – Akumal, Mexico. Stefan and Caroline are lying on the beach. Damon and Bonnie join them.

 CAROLINE: Well, that was fast!

DAMON: Blondie, I swear...

STEFAN: What’s going on?

DAMON: Little “Miss Pause” here, won’t stop pushing play.

STEFAN: What?

BONNIE: Just forget it; let’s enjoy! I mean, look at this place, it’s gorgeous! I’m going for a swim.

DAMON: I’m coming with (grabs her hand; they head to the ocean).

STEFAN: They look so happy together...

CAROLINE: They really do, and I really need to stop with the bad timing!

STEFAN: Again?

CAROLINE: Yep. Thought inappropriate timing was a Sagittarius thing, guess it’s a Libra thing too.

STEFAN: (Laughs, then kisses her). I’m sure they’ll find the right moment. Just between us, this is the first time Damon has taken it slow; I think he might be nervous.

CAROLINE: Nervous?! Come on, this is Damon we are talking about.

STEFAN: Yes, but he has never felt like this about anyone… probably freaks him out a little bit; doesn’t want to screw it up.

CAROLINE: That’s true…  

STEFAN: Listen, sorry to change the subject but, about that thing we talked about, you never gave me an answer.

CAROLINE: I’m sorry… still processing. It’s a life-changing decision; give me some time to clear my head on it?

STEFAN: Of course… take as much time as you need. And, whatever you decide, I’m with you.  (They cuddle and enjoy the view; sometime later, Bonnie and Damon come back from their swim).

BONNIE: (A she is drying herself) The water is delicious! You guys should definitely take a dip!

CAROLINE: Bon, when have you ever seen me swim in the ocean?

BONNIE: Oh, that’s right… (teasing) your irrational fear of “the sea monsters”.

CAROLINE: Who knows what crazy things live down there?! Plus, sharks…

DAMON: Sharks, really, Blondie? They're harmless! They are more afraid of us than we are of them, and with good reason.

CAROLINE: Have you seen Jaws? … Uhm, no thanks! I’m perfectly fine right here; enjoying the beautiful view, margarita in one hand, Stefan’s hand in the other… perfection!

BONNIE: Come on, Care, dare to do something you never have. What happened to pausing the control freak? Let loose!

CAROLINE: I’m loose, I swear! Just not that loose… (they laugh; Damon and Bonnie lie down with them to enjoy the view. After a few minutes of contemplation, Caroline breaks the silence). Ahhh… This is exactly what we needed.

BONNIE: Preach!

STEFAN: (Looking at a boat that is cruising by) We should totally do that boat trip...

DAMON: One thing at a time, bro. For now… (grabs some beers from the cooler, hands one to them) Enjoy… (winks, then puts Bob Marley’s “Don’t worry be happy” on his phone. Lights up a doobie, takes a drag, and passes it around).

BONNIE: (Takes a hit, then passes to Caroline) How is this for letting loose…

CAROLINE: (Takes a drag; lets the smoke out…) My kind of pause button. (Smiles, passes it to Stefan).

STEFAN: (Takes a hit) I never did this as a human… wonder if it hits you different than when you are a vampire?

BONNIE: (She and Caroline laugh) Oh, Stefan, you’re in for quite a ride…

 Cut to – The Mayor’s house. Edward is still in his room. The Madame comes in.

THE MADAME: Darling, you can’t hide in here forever…

EDWARD: I’m not hiding, I’m thinking.

THE MADAME: About?

EDWARD: My mother, thanks to you.

THE MADAME: I’m sorry I had to do that but we really need his help if we want to get this done.

EDWARD: I’ve always known you were cruel, but you took it way too far this time.

THE MADAME: It was the only way I could get you to call him.

EDWARD: That is true, but still, cruel.

THE MADAME: Forgive me, love, it’s in our best interest to have him on our side.

EDWARD: I know… just can’t stand the sight of him.

THE MADAME: Why don’t you try to give him a chance, he might not be so bad…

EDWARD: He’s responsible for my mother’s death, both of them. Granted I never knew my biological mother; it was a miracle I even survived, but… a killer clown, really?... Sick bastard. And, as if that wasn’t enough, he ended up driving the woman he had killed the first one for, completely insane, to the point of suicide. How is that, not so bad?!

THE MADAME: Listen, he’s not my cup of tea either, but he didn’t do the things you accuse him of, I promise. If he had, I would have killed him a long time ago.

EDWARD: I thought you were on my side; how can you believe all his lies?

THE MADAME: I’m not on his side, and I don’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth. The only reason I know he is not responsible for those things is because I can read minds. Had your “friend” Donovan not given up the devices and activated unit 1, I wouldn’t have made you call him; but you and I know, if anyone can help us fix this little mess, it’s him. I’ve lived for hundreds of years, and have been part of the order for the majority of them, I’m not about to give up everything I have fought for.

EDWARD: Neither am I, that is the only reason I agreed to this… but we have to be careful, he is definitely not doing this out of the goodness of his heart, we have something he wants, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get it.

THE MADAME: As long as you and I are on the same page, we’ll have control, and he’ll have no choice but to comply.

EDWARD: Let’s hope he does; he can be quite sneaky.

THE MADAME: So can we (smirks). For now, keep Donovan away for as long as you can; once he comes back, everything will be set in motion.

EDWARD: We’ll need to move fast, not sure how long he’ll stand his time out…

Cut to – Akumal, Mexico. Bonnie, Damon, Stefan, and Caroline are on a boat. Stefan is standing at the edge of the boat, facing the open ocean. They are all quite stoned, even Caroline and Damon, who you would think wouldn’t be given that they are vampires, or even Bonnie, having all that source power, but apparently, they were given some pretty heavy stuff.

 STEFAN: Wait… how did we get on a boat?

CAROLINE: (Barely able to talk from the laughter) I think we stole it…

STEFAN: Shit! Oh, well… I’m the king of the world!! (Grabs her hand and takes her up on the edge with him). Look at this view… (after a few seconds, he starts singing Celine Dion’s “My heart will go on”, completely off-tune).

BONNIE: (Who is lying on the floor deck with Damon, looking up at the sky) I’m telling you, look at it… it’s totally baby Yoda… and it’s speaking to us…listen.

DAMON: Listening, I am, and says he… stay for some soup you must…

BONNIE: Ooh, soup! I love soup… French onion with melted cheese on top… What genius came up with that? (Pauses for a sec) Wait, what were we talking about?

DAMON: I have no idea… (they crack up).

STEFAN: (Still on the boat edge) You jump, I jump…

CAROLINE: (Turns to look at his eyes) Never let go, Jack, never let go… 

STEFAN: I love you,��Rose. (Kisses her, grabs her hand; they jump in the water).

BONNIE: Did they just jump in the water?

DAMON: I think they did… (they get up, see them in the water)

BONNIE: Care! You did it!

CAROLINE: (Realizing she is swimming in the ocean for the first time). Oh, my god!!! I did!!! (As she is blissfully swimming around) It’s so wonderful!!! You guys should join!!

BONNIE: (Gets real serious...) Oh my god guys, don’t move...

CAROLINE: (Looking scared as hell) What is it?...

BONNIE: Care, don’t move... it’s behind you... (Caroline is paralyzed, on guard).

CAROLINE: (Looking terrified) Bonnie... is it a sh...

BONNIE: (Interrupts her ) Shhhh... (Bonnie uses her telekinetic powers to play the intro of “Baby Shark” on her phone, then starts dancing the choreography, Damon joins along; they are cracking up).

CAROLINE: Bonnie, you scared the hell out of me! (Can’t help but laugh at the prank). 

DAMON: (Laughing his ass off) Good one, Bon! (They high five) Sorry, Blondie, you owed us! 

CAROLINE: Fair enough... we’ll call it even. Now, come join,  the water is perfect!

DAMON: Bon Bon, what do you say?

BONNIE: You had me at Bon Bon... (They smirk; Damon grabs her hand and they jump in. They swim and laugh for a while, then go back on the boat). So… who drove the boat?

STEFAN: Uhm, I think I did… not sure how.

CAROLINE: Can you drive it back?

STEFAN: I’ll give it a try… but what’s the rush; I say we stay for a while, watch the sundown… (they sit on the boat deck, open a bottle of bourbon, eat some munchies, talk, and laugh).

CAROLINE: (To Damon, referring to the weed) TSo, Damon, that was some powerful stuff, where did you get it from?

DAMON: Bellboy hooked me up…called it the Mayan “Duende”? …

STEFAN: Well, I hope you saved some… totally want to do that again, but I think inland is the way to go next time. (They watch the sunset, then head back; Stefan manages to return the boat, and everyone on board, safe and sound).

 Cut to - Matt and Khuyana having a picnic at a beautiful park in Lima, Peru.

 MATT: I missed this…

KHUYANA: Me too (kisses him).

MATT: I’m so sorry for everything that has happened... I’m thinking that moving back was a mistake.

KHUYANA: It’s not your fault Matt, and it wasn’t a mistake. You love your home, and, despite it all, I love it too. Mystic Falls is where we belong.

MATT: But we were happier here.

KHUYANA: Were we? I think you are forgetting just how much we struggled, not to mention my government tried to make me disappear. I’m more afraid of humanities’ dark side than I am of the supernatural; at least with them, you get a fair warning.

MATT: You make a good point…but still, I… I…

KHUYANA: Mi amor, it’s okay, we are going to be fine. It’s over now, so let’s enjoy our time off and go back home when the time comes (kisses him). Whatever comes our way, we will get through it.

MATT: If I could marry you again, I would. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, thank you for being part of my life.

KHUYANA: And thank you for being part of mine. Now, how about some pisco and yuquitas?

MATT: Best vacation ever… (kisses her).

 Cut to – Akumal, Mexico. Late at night. Damon and Bonnie are lying on the beach, in a very secluded spot, looking at the sky.

DAMON: I could do this forever…

BONNIE: Me too.

DAMON: (Turns his head towards her, looks deep into her eyes, and kisses her gently) I love you, Bon… like I never knew I could love…

BONNIE: And I love you; like I never did love … (She kisses him, more passionately than gently, kneels on top of him, and unbuttons his shirt as he pulls her dress off. She unbuckles his shorts, he unhooks her bra, throws it to the ground. He slowly slides her panties down and… at last  =). Inside her, Damon can't help but be locked into those hypnotic eyes, his breath so heavy and unstable... the overwhelming beauty and the feeling of absolute ecstasy invade every cell in his body... if ever he'd known what pure love was, this was the moment. They make love, multiple times, through the entire night until they fall asleep, holding each other so tight, body to body, until sunrise.

TVD 9x09 (part 1) coming next! Hope you stop by, read, and enjoy! =)

[gmandco]

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