#yoga breathing tbh

[mischas]

i'm 35 and the oc has been my entire life as a teenager/young adult and i love this show so much. i was wondering when you became a fan and what does your life look like now? do you still rewatch it a lot? what are your least favorite plotlines in s1-s4? i love hearing your thoughts. take care :)

Hi! You're very sweet, thank you! So just as a heads up my answers here are going to veer into the negative because I'm in a super negative space with the show as of late and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I apologize in advance for the soapbox. (and I mean really really negative)

For starters, I never watch the final season. I barely even watch s3, and haven't seen a complete s3 episode in a while. Certain scenes, though, yes and on a loop. Though not lately. But the final season doesn't exist to me because I find it repulsive and a stain on the entire show before it, even the horrendous third season. I often wish I could be like Adam Brody and separate the show into 's1 vs the other bullshit'. Believe me, I'm trying. Though I'd say splitting the show in half is best since you get to end on the shooting. S1 is on another level entirely and it wasn't until CHD that I understood why (for the most part). And that's a really terrible realization the more I think about it.

I'm almost 30 and I started watching when I was about 16 in high school. My life now is... not very exciting, lol. I work too much. Sometimes I don't work enough. I struggle with mental health (as evidenced by how seriously I take this stuff). I got into this show maybe a year or two after it had been off the air and Tumblr (and FanForum) was a super fun place to be at that time (2009/2010ish). The remaining Marissa fandom in particular was just cozy and sweet. We saw ourselves in her, had head canons, made fan art, discussed what she'd be up to, etc. I obviously wasn't part of the OG Marissa/Mischa fandom so I was pretty unaware of the shit they dealt with. On Tumblr we just celebrated her and it meant a lot to me.

For years, I, like many, thought Mischa chose to leave on her own. I could semi-stomach 325 as an arc, while still refusing to watch the next season in rewatches. This is the 2010s when JS was yelling "Tragedy was in her DNA" etc. But ever since MB started talking more about her experiences in 2021, and the podcast talking around her and Marissa forever, not to mention their shitty responses to her claims of bullying by men in power, I have been on a downward trajectory with it. The book is giving us maybe 10% of what really happened on that set. Mischa has been carrying the secret of her first relationship on her shoulders for 20 years, one that went on for months when she was 17 years old, and they all well fucking know that. I am in genuine disbelief at how they treated her then and how they treat her now. This isn't a fictional character. This is a real fucking person they keep screwing over!

But that does bring me to my next point which is that this show was unbelievably influenced by irl dynamics and I think that is disgusting. It's not just stealing Death Cab away from Adam (though I have my own thoughts on all that). There's a reason Ryan never pines for Marissa in the same way she pines for him in s2. Why he pretends she doesn't exist when he isn't dating her (from s2 on). There's an extremely charged energy to the way he verbally abuses her in 209. Like... this happened to MB at just 18. And look at how they modeled Volchok after Cisco and how they made MB pretend to do coke on camera when they knew full well she had a sober coach on set. Like, I know enough to put me off the show forever, but I am unfortunately endlessly fascinated by it. I'm sorry that I can't take the show at face value anymore, because it did and does still mean a great deal to me. But they thought they were in the clear 20 years later to only partially air their dirty laundry without much pushback and MB had the guts to say "well hold on" and be a thousand times more graceful doing so than I ever would. And we still don't know even a fraction of everything else that went down to this very real teenage girl they used and abused. Not to mention how JS/SS abruptly fired her and didn't even have the balls to tell her to her face. Her father told Josh's ass to stay away from the 325 set and he DID. Christ alive, this man should never work again.

I don't feel great about going all guns blazing here but I'm very tired and I get very little joy from the show right now. And I'm sorry that this is definitely not the response you were probably hoping for. To be clear, I want to enjoy the show. It means more to me than any other, probably. It's why I've been on this website since I was a teenager. But many aspects of it have been ruined for me and idk if there's a way back. How they purport themselves to be a family show still to this day when they treated the girl that they pursued for the job (at 16!) like shit is egregious. I will never be over it.

Sigh

To answer your actual questions, my least favorite plotlines (from s1-s3) are:

Johnny

Jimmy leaving in 207

Dean Hess

DJ

Julie/Luke

Lindsay/Caleb/Ryan

Charlotte

Hospital/Newport Group

Seth/pot (on paper this sounds wonderful but in execution it is as lifeless as the second half of the entire show)

Oliver (for good measure, officially when they jump the shark; he drives me crazy but TH does such a good job playing him that I'm ok with it until all of its aftermath is unfairly put on Marissa)

[ladycaramelswirl]

definitely not old

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

A/N: Did I create an extremely improbable scenario just to suit my need to create another highly improbable scenario? Yes. Do I care that it’s unrealistic? No. Please forgive any typos/ grammatical errors. 

CW: suggestive content, but not explicit (like 15+?). Use of y/n one time. (Technically this would probably warrant one of those hostile workplace environment seminars like they had for Derek and Penelope. But it’s funny? Idk this isn’t serious.) Sassy Hotch. Crack plot tbh. 

Also I know the timeline doesn’t really make sense, because JJ is a profiler and Emily and Rossi exist, but I imagined Season 1 Spencer while writing this! I guess it’s 2005? Btw I do not know how tapes work, so just pretend it makes sense please. This is so unserious. 

Summary: reader wife and Hotch are private people; the BAU team is nosy. Spencer is just constantly in the right place at the wrong time. 

Enjoy!

——————

The screen in front of you depicted horror - just not the kind the BAU was used to. The UnSub had confessed to leaving a message in an old tape. He had already been arrested, but you were all hoping it might contain something that might help the conviction stick. Only he was extremely paranoid, so not only had he left the message in a code, but he had spliced it into a tape he thought people were least likely to watch. His p***. It was the last thing to do for the case and everyone was trying to help. You all sit at the round table, and Spencer shifts in his seat, clearly uncomfortable. Derek laughs at his shyness and Emily laughs at the very unrealistic movements. She and JJ tilt their heads at the shape the two on the screen have put themselves into. 

“That does not look comfortable”, JJ mocks. 

The words are out of your mouth before you think. “Trust me it’s not��. 

Everyone at the table snaps their heads to look at you. 

“Damn Mama”, Derek laughs. “Who are you doing these moves with?”

You try to hold back a laugh. You were not ready to share about your sex life with your colleagues, no matter how close you were. Plus you’re pretty sure Aaron would not appreciate it. 

“That is inappropriate workplace conversation”, you say, pausing the video. “And you’re going to miss the next series of code”, you tell him, trying to get him to revert his attention back to the video. Emily grins at your attempted evasion.

“We already got all the code. She just doesn’t want us to tell Hotch she’s capable of all that. Doesn’t want to make the old man feel bad”.

“He’s not old. He’s only 5 years older than you”, you remind her. She puts a hand on her chest in mock offense like you’ve stabbed her. You roll your eyes. “And this is still inappropriate”.

“So it wasn’t Hotch”, Derek laughs. 

“You’re just annoyed because you haven’t tried it yourself”, you deflect, moving to sit next to Spencer who seems to actually be doing his job. 

“I’ve seen her do yoga and she’s very flexible, so if she couldn’t do it I don’t think you can”, JJ tells Morgan. 

“Oh you have no idea what I’m capable of”, he teases, which earns laughs from around the table. “I’m better than the old man for sure”. They all start laughing and talking about you and Hotch. 

You roll your eyes. “Wasn’t old in bed last night”, you mutter under your breath. You startle at the sound of a book hitting the floor and see Spencer’s bright red face. JJ, Derek and Emily look over in curiosity at what they might have missed, but you ignore them, attempting to give Spencer an apology for making him uncomfortable. He moves to drink his coffee in an attempt to avoid more of the conversation. Only he chokes on it because Hotch enters the room. 

“Have you finished working out the code?”

Everyone’s heads snap to him - JJ, Emily and Derek wearing matching grins. Hotch eyes you patting a coughing Spencer’s back.

“Are you alright?”, he asks. 

“Yes! Good! I’m good!”, Spencer squeaks, afraid Hotch is going to ask him why he’s so nervous. Aaron looks to you for some answers but before you can tell him it’s nothing, Spencer suddenly stands up.

“Got the code! Going to call the local PD. DA is waiting”, he warbles before you all watch him run out of the room. Hotch turns back to the rest of you. 

“Well then that wraps it up. Go home now, get some rest”, he instructs. Everyone starts packing up. You and Hotch walk towards the door when he realises there’s only 6 of you in the room. 

“Where’s Dave?”, he asks.

You’re about to tell him Rossi went to the bathroom when the Italian walks back in. Rossi immediately notes the paused video.

“Wow that looks uncomfortable”, he remarks. Everyone smirks in your direction. Hotch snakes an arm around your waist and looks at the screen. Then at you. 

“It was, wasn’t it?”

He smiles at the jaws dropping to the floor. 

“Good night everyone”.

—————————

A little bonus scene:

In his office later:

“You heard us talking before you came in the room didn’t you”, you question your husband. He was so private, he wouldn’t have said something like that otherwise. 

“They called me old”, Aaron grumbles, but his tone is amused. “Just wanted to shock them a little”.

You make your way over to his side of the desk, pulling him to stand up beside you. 

“Well Agent Hotchner, I have to tell you, there’s been some speculation about your performance”, you taunt. “Care to prove them wrong?”

“Last night wasn’t enough proof?”, he laughs raising an eyebrow. You run your hands up his chest and behind his neck, pulling him close. 

“The results were inconclusive”, you tease. He grabs your hips and traps you between himself and his desk, his mouth trailing kisses down your jaw. 

“Well I can’t have that kind of speculation going around”, he murmurs into your skin. Your breath hitches from the sensation of his lips on the sensitive spot on your neck. But instead of continuing, he pulls away and meets your eyes in a conspiratorial grin. “We should do an in house evaluation as soon as possible”.

You open your mouth to reply when the door swings open, Spencer finding you sandwiched between Hotch’s thighs and your blouse rumpled. His mouth drops open and suddenly all 187 iq points mean nothing when his brain loses function.

“Oh- I- um- sorry!”, he manages before running away. You stare at the slammed door then back at Aaron and burst into giggles. He drops his head to your shoulders and sighs. 

“I feel like a teenager”, he groans.

“At least you don’t feel old.”

—————————

Bonus bonus: 

Still in the conference room: 

“I want to go back to 10 minutes ago when I didn’t know this information”, Emily moans. 

“I think I need 5 more minutes before I can form a coherent thought”, JJ laughs in disbelief. Spencer walks back in.

“I finished my report. Where’s Hotch and y/n? Can we go home?”

“Probably doing it in his office for all we know”, Derek mutters.

Spencer’s brows furrow in confusion. “Doing what in his office?”

Rossi raises an eyebrow at Emily. “Is this kid serious?”

She shrugs back at him. 

“Spence, Hotch says we can go home. But you should probably report about what local PD told you before you go”, JJ tells him.

Spencer nods and makes his way to Hotch’s office. The rest of the team watch him walk away.

“You think we should have told him to knock before going in?”

“Probably.”

The sound of a high pitch yelp and the slam of an office door echo down the hallway. 

“Oops.”

——————

thank you for reading :)

masterlist

[itgirldraco]

do you have any fic recs?

yes!! so many!! please check the tags for each!

all time favorites:

way down we go: an absolute classic. werewolf harry, chronically ill utterly miserable draco, post-war in small town america. enemies to lovers slowburn with protective harry and hopelessly gay draco.

in hopes that you may drown: SO much of my art is based on this author's harry and draco. such a lovely fic. post-war, draco raising delphi and absolutely perfecting the stressed yoga mom vibe. harry is instantly smitten.

in our blood: about haunted houses, parenthood and growing to care for each other. I love this one.

you'll still find stone: arranged marriage. draco expects the worst and harry is an absolute sweetheart. angst but so heartwarming. (mind the tags!!)

ANYTHING by corvetteclaire! their blood link and in the mirror series are severely underrated and genuinely took my breath away. some of my favorite writing and plots.

inside grey eyes: so so beautiful. quite dark and yet exceptionally hopeful. all about draco's recovery from a nightmare situation and harry's unending support. (mind the tags!!)

anything by tessa crowley!! an absolute gem in the fandom with an impressive variety of works.

the mirror of ecidyrue series: perfection.

in your arms, rests my world: “You make me feel safe, Potter. You keep me safe.” yeah..yeah. (mind the tags!!)

anything by toxik_angel tbh..one of my favorites is infairitance even though it’s incomplete; fairy draco is a game changer

oxytocin: angst, angst, angst, and so much cuddling. slowburn in the best way possible.

Soup-pocalypse and The Great Curry Cataclysm: i read this some time ago but i remember adoring it.

Diffraction Patterns (I Don't Know How to Forget You): another incredible old read .

everything by beloved @rockingrobin69 !! this is one my favorites ever i never stop thinking about it

fluff/humor:

manlet: PLEASE read this one! so so cute and adorable and hilarious ft sweet giant harry and tiny angry draco and wickedly funny narcissa. will definitely open your eyes to small draco.

screw you: extremely funny and extremely hot.

like a star across my sky: SUCH a good fic! feels like a romcom.

title of their sex tape: as funny as it sounds.

flirt: really sweet. disaster flirty draco and awkward yet charmed harry.

married to a brute (ongoing): genius and hilarious

smut:

it beats me black and blue: absolute perfection. no notes.

let me roll it: so delicious. clueless mess draco and grumpy harry who hates everyone except draco.

his little something: size difference excellence

scenes of surrender: a combination of smut, love, recovery and caretaking

a perfect fit: hung harry and size queen draco

come up for air: veela draco

fawning for you: harry is completely obsessed with draco's videos. very cute, muggle setting.

burning the ground: creature fic

ongoing/other faves:

one elephant at a time (ongoing): i recommend this fic to EVERYONE. genuinely incredible. think yellow wallpaper, jane eyre, crush by richard siken, and the author mentions being inspired by my dark vanessa as well. so essentially a modern romance with a dark gothic backstory. every single sentence in this fic stands out to me. every characterization, every conversation, is just so honest and genuine. also!! draco has a cat called lady di!! and he loves to wear earrings! (mind the tags!!)

within the hollow crown: more of pre-drarry tbh. such an interesting plot!! harry grudgingly cares for an increasingly spiraling draco who is except under close and constant watch by the dark lord-every second of his sixth year. currently has an ongoing sequel.

imperfection (ongoing): another fic by robin! and another of my all time favorites, so so lovingly written and so tragic and lovely and heartbreaking. really digs into draco's psych and his manic mindset and constant spiral BUT there is light at the end of the tunnel and so much love surrounding him even though it's hard for him to see it. (mind the tags!!)

saviour series (ongoing): wouldn't necessarily call this drarry? more of a stockholm syndrome gothic novel type of fic but i recommend it all the same. the writing is truly extraordinary and the pacing is incredible. will leave you breathless. part one is complete. (mind the tags!!)

perspective series (ongoing): the original books with alpha harry, omega draco in gryffindor, and an adorable friendship dynamic between the golden trio and draco. really sweet, and super interesting. no romance as of yet but there are little moments.

tales of the potters: very interesting take on the arranged marriage trope! i recommend all of this author's works; they have a gorgeous way with words and their work really brings harry and draco to life.

the veiled boy (ongoing): one of the most intriguing recent fics i've read. really delves into character dynamics in such a realistic and refreshing way and draco is so endearing in it. every chapter has gorgeous illustrations.

never in extremity: reread this one recently. equal parts heartbreaking and heartwarming. (mind the tags!!)

[salvatwh0re]

I have officially mastered the void

So this morning (afternoon actually) i decided to tap into the void so I did the 61 points yoga nidra meditation with a subliminal. I didn’t really need the subliminal I was just using it cause my headphones are somewhat noise cancelling and my family was awake so I didn’t want to get distracted. But the meditation was really relaxing. At first I had some trouble staying focused but then I reminded myself why I was doing this and what I was doing it for. So it kept me motivated. After that i affirmed a little bit then I counted down from 100 and then I affirmed some more then I got bored of affirming so i started visualizing and then I got bored of that so I just decided to focus on the darkness behind my eyelids.

I never really took that advice from people when they said it helped cause I didn’t believe them but it actually worked. Out of everything else I did that was the one thing that sent me straight to the void. I think for the most part it was just letting go of that desperate feeling i always have when I try to enter. I always feel like I’m forcing myself to do it so I just let go and kind of forgot about what I was doing while still keeping that intention.

I was getting pretty anxious tho because of the time so I just got out but i did it again and it sent me straight to the void again. So now I know the secret to getting into the void is to just let go of that desperation and to stop forcing yourself, just let it happen. If you feel you’ve affirmed enough stop affirming, if you feel you’ve focused on your breathing enough, go back to your automatic breathing pattern STOP FORCING YOURSELF IT WILL GET YOU NOWHERE!!

and I know a lot of people stress about not being aware in the void and not affirming for your desires but stressing over that is exactly what’s going to make you forget tbh. When you let go of that desperation you let go of those other doubts too, those things that were stopping you from getting there in the first place. I feel like removing yourself from those thoughts is really effective in getting you what you want.

I will say it might help to have a list of things you want either written down or set in your mind because it will be a lot easier to remember what you’re going to affirm. When you’re in the void or even before you tap in completely you’re supposed to be super relaxed so it might be a little difficult to bring up those thoughts but because of how different the void is from the 3D it’s kind of hard to forget. Especially if you’ve been trying for a long time.

The void isn’t really something you question, you know for sure you’re in cause you can’t hear feel see taste or smell anything so it’s pretty identifiable. And because you’ve reminded yourself over and over that that’s what the void feels like, once you feel it you’re going to be like OHHH ok now i know to affirm for my desires. You’ve been training your brain to associate the void with your desires so of course once you recognize that you’re in you’re going to remember to affirm for your desires.

Also I don’t really like using the term void personally, but it’s what I learned it as. I feel like calling it the void just makes it sound so otherworldly and extraterrestrial and scary tbh. I think that’s what was holding me back as well, fear. I know that Neville Goddard refers to it as the I AM state which is a perfect name for it because it really is a state of just BEING like you’re not worried about anything else other than yourself and that’s the beauty of it. I would go on more cause there’s so much I can say but overall i hope you just let you go of that desperation so that you can finally push through and get everything you’ve been wanting because you deserve it.

[arachnoia]

gone ➶ . ˚ ༉‧₊˚ˑ༄ؘ | miguel o’hara

miguel o'hara x fem! reader

a/n: i think that atp, im just a miguel o’hara writer (not that im complaining but gimmie requests pls !! theyre open on my acc !!) this is also a drabble ive been wanting to write because i’ve always wanted to write angst (well tbh idk what this is?) but wasn’t sure how to? lowkey i want this to be a story that isn’t just a one shot but lmk if you guys want more of this? im just trying stuff out!

pt2 - ‘holy shock’ pt 3- ‘finally’

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Breathe in, breathe out...”

The beautiful city stunned you as you stood on top of a random building, breathing in its modern, refreshing look.

It kind of took your breath away, contradictory to what you just told yourself a few seconds ago.

You barely finished another mission as your universe’s one and only Spider-Silk. Was it tiring? Hell yes, no doubt. But you never took a moment to actually admire Earth-928’s Nueva York, where Spider Society headquarters was located. Nueva York was also the place where you were if it wasn’t fighting crime and going to grad school in your own universe’s New York.

You usually swing to the top of a business building, a little bit far from Spider Society headquarters. It was quiet and peaceful. It was your thinking place where you could release any emotions you wanted to spill when you couldn’t anywhere else since you can’t really spill your emotions if you were to be taken seriously.

Plus, the one person who you expressed your deepest emotions, is gone.

As you simply stared into space while remembering the feeling you felt this morning.

You noticed some tears gathering at the outside corners of your eyes. Your eyelids began to droop, and you began to sob quietly as your chest hurt from, what some call “heartbreak”.

To be completely honest though, it was just melancholy and depression from what happened hours prior.

You couldn’t say that the emotion you felt for him or what you feel is loving him because it wasn’t love.

It felt like something stronger. But you knew it wasn’t reciprocated back.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“So why don’t you just kick your professor’s ass?” Miguel joked. His laugh made you feel warm inside. It was a cute laugh in your opinion.

The two of you were sitting down, at the building you like to think at, munching on sweet, baked, fig empanadas from a lady's restaurant in your universe. Doña Rosa? She was a nice lady and safe to say, Miguel would definitely come back for the empanadas.

“Please, O’Hara. I’d get simply kicked out and would have to never show my face ever again…But the bastard deserves it for ripping apart my paper on exploring different dimensions with colliders!”

He chuckled. “Right, because you have experience. Do you not? Y/l/n?”

“EXACTLY. BUT NOT EVEN GRAMMARLY HELPED ME NOT GO THROUGH HIS REIGN OF TERROR!” You felt pissed, but Miguel found it absolutely hilarious to see you worked up as you angrily took a bite out of your empanada. It was cute.

“Swear to god, that bitch is scarier than most of the stupid anomalies we fight,” You pouted and glanced at him. He looked like he was trying to not start laughing even harder than he was before. “Y/l/n. Just calm down it doesn’t matter. Plus didn’t you mention it was like 10% of your grade? You’ll be fine it’s not that bad.”

You smirked at him. “Oh, so you’re trying to say it’s still bad?”

“No…but look at me.” You turned to his direction as he placed his empanada on a napkin next to the rest of the lot and he rested his hands on your shoulders.

“Breathe in. Breathe out.” You chuckled at his direction.

“Miguel, you sound like a yoga instructor."

“No no, I’m being serious here! No dejas que esa mierda te moleste, okay?”

You raised your eyebrow and smiled playfully. “Alright, like you’re the calmest person on this Earth,” He laughed. “I’m not but you’re not like me. I don’t want that to affect you, especially because it doesn’t matter.”

“Now. Breathe in…”

You softly smiled at him, to which he returned, “And breathe out.”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“It's pleasant, isn't it?” Peter replied as he began to go in your direction, breaking up your train of thought. He and Mayday gave you a sad look as they walked over to hug your shaky form.

“How-?”

“Y/n, I saw you swinging here after barely teleporting here. What’s wrong?”

You didn’t know what to say. You felt a metaphoric weight on your shoulders as you struggled to tell Peter.

“Was it perhaps…Miguel?” You felt like laughing. Here you were, crying while Peter was acting full-on dad and Mayday was playing with her Spider-Man beanie. It would be a very unusual sight to someone who was just viewing you three at a distance.

“I’m just going to take that as a yes,” Peter said as he sat down on the roof and patted to the space next to him. “Take a seat, Y/l/n.”

You followed his directions and sat down.

It was quiet and a bit windy. It gave you a sad memory and you felt like you were drowning in it.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

You felt a rush of anxiety and couldn’t breathe.

“I CAN’T. I CAN’T DO IT, O’HARA," you screeched, scratching Miguel's arm in excruciating pain.

“YES YOU CAN, Y/L/N!! CALM DOWN!”

The two of you were in a mission to stop an anomaly. You were one of the first to start attacking…and one of the first to be badly injured. Your right thigh was impaled with several medium sized pieces of glass from being thrown to a glass building and you ran out of webs to shoot. You froze and wanted to cry, feeling vulnerable.

Miguel went over to try to help you as the other Spiders went to attack said anomaly. You knew each other as friends since you were one of the first Spiders ever to be recruited to the Spider Society so you knew each other pretty well. When he saw you injured, he quickly saved some civilians and rushed to your direction.

“Yes, you can Y/l/n. Look at me. Breathe in.” Your eyes widened as you saw him grab the largest piece of glass. He had 2 pieces of cloth with him. “No, stop looking at them and look at me. Breathe in, goddamn it.”

You stared at him and he gave you a piece to bite down. You tried to calm down as he took the piece out and screamed into the cloth. “I’m going to wrap it up, okay?” He said, earning a nod from you. “Good girl. Now breathe in…”

“…Breathe out.” You said.

“That’s my girl,” He said as he smiled at you and carried you with the rest of the civilians.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Breathe in, breathe out,” You whispered. Saying that phrase now just made your tongue feel bitter. Like eating a sour candy except it doesn’t turn out sweet at the end, but just making you frown.

Peter smiled and turned to you, “Now tell me what happened, kid. People don’t just run away before saying hi to their favorite person, therefore being me? !”

You scoffed, “Peter, no offense but why does it matter to you? You should be focusing on other things other than my well-being.”

Peter raised his eyebrow and rolled his eyes. “Listen, kid. You and the other Spiders like Gwen or Miles, matter to me.”

He covered Mayday’s ears. “Shit, even Miguel. If I see you mopey and sad and what not, of course, I’m going to be worried!”

“Really?” You were shocked. No one really has given you that fatherly attention like Peter has.

The only one who would really listen to you, was Miguel. But you can’t really rely on him now, can you?

“Yup. Now tell me what’s going on? Is everything okay?” Your breath hitched and you froze.

You then took a deep breath, sighed, and smiled bitterly.

“Miguel, he told me he wants me gone from his life,” you said as you felt a sudden pang in your chest.

Just feeling those words leave your lips made the melancholy come back even stronger.

And it hurt like fucking hell.

[mrsaltieri-real]

PLEASE DO A FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS WJTH MICKEY

The Sound Room (Mickey Altieri X Fem!AFAB!Reader)

You’re desperate to keep your frequent hookups with your friend Mickey Altieri a secret from your best friend and one night stand Randy Meeks.

Warning/s: slight smut below the cut cut, p in v, not much though tbh literally just in the first paragraph, Implied smut, implied previous Randy x reader (reader slept with Randy once), Mickey being a dick, language, teasing, brief mention of the Woodsbro murders

Read A Distraction here

“Mickey, shut the fuck up!” You hissed at your friend, slapping a hand over his mouth as he opened his mouth to speak again. Mickey currently had you pressed up against the wall of the auditorium’s sound room, his large, rough hands gripping your ass with his cock buried nice and deep inside of you.

Sweat coated both of your bodies and you both breathed heavily as you stared at the door, listening intently. He mumbled something under your hand, eyebrows arching as he looked at you, before rolling his eyes and letting you down, gently pulling his cock from your pussy as he did so, making you gasp a little at the sudden emptiness and he gently moved your hand away from his mouth.

You and Mickey had been secretly fucking for about six months and absolutely no one knew, not even your best friend Randy, who you had a slight feeling may be interested in you. That may be due to the pity fuck you’d given him last year after he just wouldn’t stop whining about being a virgin.

“What about your “horror movie rules”, Randy?” You’d asked as he made his move on you.

“Horror movie rules don’t apply when there’s no horror movie anymore.” he had pointed out. After you’d saved his life after Billy Loomis had shot him back in Woodsbro, his affections diverted swiftly from Sidney and onto you.

Randy was already your best friend so you thought to yourself hey, why not?

Why not indeed, because now the kid wouldn’t stop following you around like a puppy. You loved Randy, just not in that way. This thing with Mickey on the other hand was something else entirely.

All it had taken was one party one drunken night and the two of you having a filthy quickie up against a door in a sorority bathroom for you to have turned Mickey from ‘that guy in your statistics class who ran in the same circle’ to both of you fucking whenever you seemed to have a chance, becoming extremely close friends in the process. The weird thing was… it was never weird. It felt incredibly normal to be this way with Mickey, just friends who fucked. A lot.

It had been your idea to keep it secret, not wanting to put shit like labels on what the two of you had. You knew Hallie would be dying to talk about it and you didn’t want to look at Randy’s pouting face every time you saw him, so it was strictly filthy hookups in random parts of the college and being the playful, teasing best of friends in public. Both aspects came so naturally and easily it was never awkward or in any way suspicious to anyone in your shared friendship group.

“As much as I like being your dirty little secret, it kinda turns me off whenever you want to stop fucking whenever you hear a sound.” Mickey said, pulling up his loose fitting sweats and pulling his light blue sweatshirt off the sound board. He didn’t say it in an angry, or pissed off way. He actually had a hint of amusement on his lightly flushed face as he got dressed and looked down at you, handing you your bra, shirt and the yoga pants that had driven Mickey to drag you into this room in the first place. Your panties were ripped to shreds in the corner of the small room so they were fucking done for.

“I’m sorry, I’m just not as good at this sneaking around shit as I thought.” You smiled apologetically and pulled your own clothes back on before rifling around your backpack looking for your hairbrush. “I just don’t want people to find out and want to know what this is.” You gestured between the two of you.

“What this is.” Mickey echoed, a small smile toying on the edge of his full lips. “We could just say we’re two friends who like to have sex in public spaces, would it be that big of a deal?”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, smacking him lightly on the arm before tying your hair into a loose ponytail. He pretended to wince and rub his arm in mock pain. “Yes, dickhead it would. I don’t need Randy giving me them puppy dog eyes if he finds out.”

“Oh! So it’s Randy you’re worried about? Well, say no more we should definitely tell him,” Mickey grinned down at you affectionately, tucking a piece of stray hair behind your ear. He laughed when he saw your unamused expression and kissed you lightly on the lips. You felt your breath hitch a little as it always did whenever Mickey’s soft lips touched yours. He pulled away, his dazzling smile lighting up his face. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I don’t want labels on this thing either. I kinda like it a lot more this way.”

“You do?” You asked doubtfully.

“Well, yeah. I mean, not only are you one of my closest friends but I mean.. you’re hot and I get to fuck you whenever I want without you asking what it all means..” Mickey shrugged his shoulders like it was obvious. “Although, I wouldn’t mind getting another one over on Meeks by telling him I’m fucking the girl of his dreams.”

“Hey, I fucked him before you. Don’t forget that.” You pointed out, smiling a little.

“Meh, you didn’t know me back then. You definitely wouldn’t have gone anywhere near him if I’d been around. Besides, I bet Meeks never got you making those pretty little noises I get you to make, or made you cum on his tongue so hard you black out.” Mickey smiled like an angel as he spoke despite his filthy words that were making you blush, trailing his thumb across your bottom lip so gently it felt like a feather was brushing it.

You faltered for a split second, looking into his melting chocolate brown eyes that are able to make you do or say almost anything before you shook your head, lightly slapping his hand away.

“God you’re cocky as fuck, Mickey.” You scoffed, picking up your bag from the floor and opening the studio door. “Just don’t-“

You stopped talking as you walked out the door with Mickey hot on your heels and saw Randy stood there, a confused expression illuminating his features with his hand still reached out for the doorknob.

“Oh hey, Randy!” Mickey said from behind you. You could hear the smirk and the thrilled amusement in his voice and it took everything inside you not to dig your elbow into his ribs.

“Hey… guys?” Randy said slowly, the confusion still evident on his face. “What were you guys doing in there?”

“Homework.” You said quickly before Mickey could say something even remotely suggestive. You knew him far too well at this point. “Mickey needed help with his short film.”

“Oh, well neither of you turned up to Stats this afternoon and Sidney mentioned that you were meant to be helping her out with something today.”

“Wait, what time is it?” You asked, eyes widening.

“Uh..” Randy checked his watch. “5:30, why?”

“Shit!” You muttered.

You’d promised Sidney you’d help her practice for the play she was starring in in a couple of weeks, and your little fuck session with Mickey had completely blanked it out of your mind.

“I didn’t realize it was so late!” You groaned.

“Yeah, time really gets away from you when you’re doing… Homework.” Mickey said from behind you. This time, you did elbow him in the ribs.

“Ow!” He muttered. “Sorry, sorry.”

Randy looked at you, then to Mickey then back to you, suspicion evident in his blue eyes.

“Okay I’ve really got to go. Mickey, thanks for your… um… help. Randy, I’ll see you later.” You garbled the words before rushing out of the hall and through the double doors out of the auditorium, not looking back.

“What the fuck was that all about?” Randy asked Mickey, eyes narrowing.

“Oh, you know what she’s like.” Mickey said dismissively, waving a hand in your direction. “Anyway, I gotta go too, Meeks. I’m guessing you’re headed for the sound room.”

“Yeah, I need to work on my project for-“

“Yeah, yeah have fun.” Mickey was already walking away, a satisfied smile on his face as he knew that awaiting Randy in the sound room was a pair of your drenched, torn up panties crumpled and forgotten in the corner.

It wouldn’t take Randy too long to realize what the two of you had really been up to in there.

[youremyheaven]

I need some advice. I feel like I'm dying. Going through the worst period cramps ever (never had this in the past 11 years), it literally feels like someone is stabbing my cervix, uterine walls and the pathway walls (I feel a bit shy calling it what it is...like a normal woman). Its so bad, I've never had it like this before. Has to do with the fact I was having isues, doc put me on meds, as soon as the dosage was done: red sea spilleth over.

Know any home remedies to help? Or just any other advice to deal with this? Can't go to the doc rn, she'll suggest to hold off pain meds, I am taking over the counter anti-inflammatory stuff..yk the one for fevers and other pains. Its not working. Its been so debilitating...I can't sleep, sit, breathe, do anything...yk the type of pain that makes you bend and make your mouth water...idk if that happens to anyone else but yeah....

OMGGG 😩😨😨😓that sounds soooo rough, I hope you're feeling better now???

I have taken meftal spas for cramps since I was maybe 16-17 years old. Idk if that's available in other parts of the world??? but its widely available in India and its specifically for period cramp induced pain<333 I'm not a doctor so pls don't take any medication without exercising caution first!!! you may not react well to it or it may have adverse effects bc of the medication you're already taking ://// 😩😩

on that note, practicing yin yoga (which focuses on releasing stress from the hip area/psoas muscles) has greatly changed my reproductive system as a whole tbh, my sex drive changed, my relationship with my body changed (like even the way i walk changed bc my hips loosened up, which meant i walked more "freely" dont tell me its woowoo,, yk can just tell when someone's body is very "frozen" or "stiff" looking) and yesss my menstrual cycle was immensely affected by it.

i used to have HORRIBLE cramps, irregular cycles, HEAVY bleeding etc in my mid-late teens (this was because of trauma + eating disorder, in case u wanted to know) and now? my period is 3 days long, light bleeding, little to no pain and i attribute alllll of that to yoga<3

now i specifically like to do certain mudras and asanas (poses) which are supposed to help the female body specifically

and while this can help u when u are on your period, i suggest making it part of your lifestyle and living according to your monthly cycle's phases so that you can experience smoother periods. i dont think its realistic to do them if you're experiencing immense pain 😭

Legs-Up-The-Wall Pose (Viparita Karani)

This pose is known for increasing blood flow to the pelvic region which helps enhance the health of your reproductive organs.

2. Baddha konasana aka butterfly pose

helps the uterus<333

3. balasana or child's pose

tbh this might actually help even if ur ON your period, lying down like this is soooo soothing and comforting. ppl overcomplicate yoga, when the reality is that holding your body in certain poses can emotionally feel very comforting/freeing/nourishing etc but then again im only familiar with yin yoga/restorative yoga (there are manyyyy different types of yoga)

4. happy baby pose

as the name suggests this is how babies lay down and they seem happy for no reason,, i remember the first time i consciously did this pose and i was like???? this is yoga??? bc i would randomly do poses like these for no reason in bed (im sure we all do when we're bored) and if i intentionally do it?? its actually good for me??

again this pose helps with the hip muscles!!! the female body is always preparing for childbirth. regardless of whether or not you want to be a mom, taking care of your womb health and reproductive well being is CRUCIAL bc whether we like it or not we were designed this way and dont think of it as "preparing my body to bear children" just think of it as "preparing my body to be at its best" (the bearing kids is just a bonus) .. the state of your womb affects your whole being!!! its not a joke!!!

now here's some mudras:

yoni mudra

yoni means womb and as u can see, this pose imitates the 🫣🫣 its a highly beneficial mudra for women and helps with overall pelvic health. you can do it sitting cross legged. i like to chant mantras and do this pose,, it kicks in quicker or smthng idk 😳but it feels ✨

2. prana mudra

do this mudra on both hands btw!!

prana means life force

this mudra helps with overall immunity and pain management!!!

3. prithvi mudra

prithvi means earth and this mudra helps balance the earth element in your energetic system which means its gives you strength, resilience and physical energy (in case u feel tired, fatigued etc for no reason) as those are the qualities of the earth

now for some pranayamas

Bhramari/ honeybee buzzing

this is my fav bc its so simple and easy to do!! and who doesn't want to buzz like a bee??? 🥰😍

2. anulom vilom

this is also a very simple pranayam for beginners

the whole idea is to get your body into a state of relaxation so that you dont operate from a place of stress or anxiety. you can just feel peaceful all the time. imagine being that unbothered!!

sorry for going off on a tangent (me with every post lmao) these are some beginner friendly yoga asanas/mudras/pranayamas (all of which are diff components of yoga) that u can try when u feel comfortable!!

NOW about alleviating pain ASAP:

hot water bag

put that thing on ur stomach and lie down (after taking medicine) my mom used to do this all the time and it helped her a lot

2. roobois tea

i drink roobois tea almost everyday hehe but its said to help alleviate menstrual cramps 🤔and lower blood pressure,,

3. chamomile tea

is also said to help with period pain :o

4. look into your diet, sleep, overall lifestyle

you may not have had pain of this sort before but babe NOW UR A WOMAN ✨and u have to look at your lifestyle and ensure that its something that helps a woman's body feel rested and calm

being stressed all the time can take a physical toll on you and lead to all kinds of diseases later in life!! its in your best interest to RELAX

idk how much this helped 😭😭the most convenient thing to do would be to take medicine but u said u can't so :((( hot water bag + roobois tea???

ALSOOOO always wear socks during your period and keep your feet covered. i have sensitive feet so i wear socks at home often (this is uncommon in india, where we have a tropical climate lmao) BUT KEEP THOSE FEET COVERED,, there's some kind of science behind it but i dont remember it lmao,, all i know is that it makes me bleed less<333 and have more cozy periods and sleep better<33

ALSOOOO,, this could be an old wives tale but it worked for me (but im also delusional😍) eating dark chocolate and/or having a spoon of oil on day 1 of your period makes your period go smoothly?? 😭😭😭there's no harm in trying hehe

ALSOOO and ive never tried this but heating up like a tablespoon of oil and applying it to the bellybutton area 😳😳can help alleviate period pain 😳😳

lastly and most importantly, im just a girlblogger and NOT A MEDICAL EXPERT so pls dont put urself in an adverse position bc of something i said 😭😭😭

love always,

heaven ✨

[guardian-angle22]

Tagged by @beautifulhigh & @welcometololaland to list my top 5 Tarlos scenes.

This is really going to show my Season 3 bias ngl.

#5. 2.12 "Don't make me twist your arm."/"Please do."

Their chemistry is insane when they're teasing each other downstairs and then they kiss each other so softly once they get upstairs. I'm a sucker for a good soundtrack moment and there's something iconic about having their house literally light up on fire under them while obliviously making out as Fever by Elvis Presley plays in the background. Peak cinema tbh.

#4. 3.04 "Hey, baby. Breathe."/"Welcome home, TK."

We can all agree to have these two can count as one scene, right? they go back to back. The way TK reached for Carlos as soon as he woke up and immediately noticed that Carlos wasn't breathing right even though he just woke up from a coma, is still groggy, and barely has his eyes open? soulmate shit right there. If you haven't watched this without the music. my god. do it now. & then add in how happy they both look as Carlos leads TK into the loft with his hands over his eyes, and then when TK looks around and you can see on his face when he realizes he still gets to have this despite everything? Beautiful.

#3. 3.18 "For the first time in my life, the love that I feel is infinitely more powerful than the fear of losing it."/"A thousand times yes."

I mean can I even say more about the proposal that hasn't already been said? the urgency TK felt that prompted him to wake Carlos up in the middle of the night. His speech to Carlos. All the little touches throughout. The way they both were crying by the end. It was beautiful and it was perfect for them. (the only way it could have been better is if they maybe stopped to turn on a fucking lamp)

#2. 3.08 "Hey, look at me."/"I love you."

This was their first mutual "I love you" shown on screen and while the context was heartbreaking, it was still so so sweet. Carlos being the loving caregiver, kissing TK's forehead, rubbing his knee, wanting to make sure he eats. The way Carlos tells TK to look at him and he does immediately, even though TK has been basically avoiding eye contact with everyone the entire scene will live rent free in mind for all of time, I'm sure.

#1. 3.13 "Do you have any idea how proud of you I am?"/"You're just so sweet."

Can I put the entirety of 3.13 on the list at number one? Because it's my favorite episode for them. It has so many things. It has them being domestic and flirtatious. TK being distracted by Carlos in yoga clothes. It has them fighting a bit, overcoming those obstacles, and communicating. It showed Carlos as a multidimensional character with flaws like jealousy and pettiness, but then growing through it to come to the realization that he can't be everything that TK needs at the end of the day.

But if I absolutely had to pick just one scene from it, I would chose the opening scene. TK sharing with Carlos about his meeting, finding a sponsor, & the realization of not having Gwyn around affecting his mindset. Carlos waiting up with his adorable glasses, reading articles to educate himself, telling TK how proud of him he is. TK calling him sweet and flirting with him. I just-- 🥰🥰

----

Because I'm doing this pretty late in the day, this has made it's rounds through a lot of my mutuals already. so I'm just going to tag a few people that I haven't seen do it yet (no pressure though if you're not feelin' it. but also if you have done it and I missed it let me know so I can read yours!): @morganaspendragonss @ourlegendwillbefitforverse @detective-giggles @noxsoulmate @ladytessa74 @autistic-lesbian-story-lover @tkstrandreyes @pragmatic-optimist @reyescarlos @spencessmile @poledancingghostson @sunshinestrand @mandiiigurllll

[gabessquishytum]

Okay as a Particular Kind of asexual I have a rather specific au. It could work for both Hob or Dream but for my purposes let's go with Dream on this one. Human Dream is a HUGE workaholic. Like stressed 24/7, can't relax for the life of him, insomnia to the MAX. he's tried EVERYTHING. Yoga, affirmations, candles, drugs, fuck it he's even tried going GLUTEN FREE for fucks sake but nothing can break this cycle of physical and mental stress. He's gotten the "You need to get laid dude" but he can give HIMSELF an orgasm just fine, and it hasn't reset his brain or body, and the effort of going out, finding someone who wants him, determining whether they're a seriel killer, doing the Whole Hookup Song and Dance, with the high probability that it won't even work or be particularly good? It's just more stress on his plate. So a friend, could be a good friend (Lucienne) or a bad friend (Corinthian), suggest he see a Professional. A professional Dom, that is. He needs out of his head for a while, and that's the whole idea right? Just letting someone else do the driving. Cue Hob, Gentle Dom Extraordinaire, who has JUST the right touch for this mess of a man. He's kind and friendly, the kind of guy you WANT to listen to honestly, a guy you can trust, and he never gets meaner than some teasing, keeping Dream from feeling defensive and storming off. Dream goes in pretty skeptical of the whole thing, but by the time he's come out he's already addicted. Their first few sessions are distictly non sexual, but after a while they start branching out, working out Dream's physical stress...

I do think it would be really good in the other direction too, I just don't think Hob would have particular trouble NEEDING a Dom, I think he'd just try it as he does many things in his Insatiable Lust for Life and falls for Dream's Domming specifically. Soft Dom Dream? You'd never guess, especially since outside their sessions he's such a..stone cold asshole tbh. You'd think he'd be mean and demanding, but his soft deep voice says such sweet things instead, Hob MELTS.

Thanks for the platform to project all this outwards, it would be stewing in my mind FORVER otherwise

Ooo yes I'm a big fan of domination being a part of lifestyle which isn't always sexual. Dream being dommed into basic self care is something that can be so personal actually. And honestly? I can see Hob benefitting from the same thing. I can definitely imagine him going through fluctuating mental health and needing a steady hand to get him back on the right track.

Back to Dream, though. I love the idea of him going to Hob with certain expectations (Cori told him that it would be all whips and chains). But Hob is soft and kind, and he quickly puts Dream at ease. The first session is all about finding out what Dream wants, what his triggers are, how he wants to feel at the end. Hob eases him into the dynamic by guiding him through a series of orders - it's more like a guided breathing exercise than anything else, and it does give Dream a more realistic idea of what sessions with Hob are going to be like. There's also a very nice massage specifically for Dream’s hands, which he's never had before.

He leaves feeling like he's floating, with strict instructions from Hob to call if he feels any negative side effects whatsoever. He can't believe how good he feels! And he wants to be such a good boy for Hob.

Within a few weeks, Dream is eating nutritious meals and going to bed without his work laptop. He's got more important things to do in bed! He's got to send Hob a picture of his cute little hole stretching around an egg plug by 9pm, or he'll be in big trouble...

[tierneyyyyy]

[TIERNEY ROSE. 26. FEMALE. SHE/HER] is here! They’ve lived in Asbury Park for [3 YEARS] and are originally from [LOS ANGELES]. They are a [MUSIC PRODUCER/PART TIME EMPLOYEE AT THE STONE PONY] and in their downtime love [GOING TO MUSIC SHOWS] and [COLLECTING CRYSTALS]. They look a lot like [MOLLY GORDON] and live in [MEADOWLARK APARTMENTS]. The song that makes people think of them the most is [LIVING IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS BY COBRA STARSHIP].

THE ESSENTIALS

a chaos queen. mid twenties, LA native. believes in yoga and crystals and the power of the universe and karma and fate and if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. which is in direct contrast to the rest of her family, really. rarely sleeps between her three jobs (all of which she literally loves) and partying. works in music, as well as lives, breathes, and sleeps music (like….it’s her entire life). she’s a producer first, but she plays multiple instruments as well as sings. and at any given moment, she could literally be doing anything, so it’s completely impossible to keep track of her - state lines unknowingly crossed, parties crashed, occasionally chased by cops. it’s all up for grabs with tierney.

pinterest - musings

CHARACTER INSPIRATIONS

rob brooks (high fidelity [the tv show]) - maxine baker (ginny & georgia) - seth cohen (the o.c.) - peyton sawyer (one tree hill) - jason mendoza (the good place) - gigi (booksmart) - begin again (not either of the main charas but the vibes of the movie, u feel?) - ben wyatt (parks & rec)

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: tierney rose

NICKNAME(S): tier, t

DATE OF BIRTH: february 13th, 1998

AGE: 26

ZODIAC SIGN: aquarius sun, libra moon, aquarius rising

OCCUPATION: music producer/podcast host/sound engineer at the stone pony

HOMETOWN: los angeles

CURRENT RESIDENCE: the meadowlark apartments in asbury park, nj

NATIONALITY: American

LANGUAGE(S): English

GENDER & PRONOUNS: she/her (cisfemale)

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Lesbian

RELIGION: Jewish 

PHYSICAL INFORMATION

FACE CLAIM: Molly Gordon

HEIGHT: 5′2″

EYE COLOUR: brown

HAIR COLOUR + STYLE: brown w/ bangs, curly/wavy, like this when it’s down, but will wear it up a lot

TATTOO(S): TBD

PIERCING(S): TBD

GLASSES: yes, a la this photo, but doesn’t wear them all the time

CLOTHING STYLE: very stereotypical queer tbh - lots of oversized flannels/hoodies over cuffed jeans, converse, graphic tees, floral prints. wears a baseball caps/wide brim hats a lot. two good outfit examples (with more on her pinterest board) - this and this.

PERSONALITY

MBTI TYPE: TBD

POSITIVE TRAITS: TBD

NEGATIVE TRAITS: TBD

GOALS/DESIRES:  TBD

FEARS:  TBD

HOBBIES:  record shopping, crystals, meditating, trying various kinds of yoga classes, tormenting the other residents of meadowlark apartments, getting high in her vw surf bus (and anywhere else), watching true crime documentaries, breaking & entering in a ~fun~ way

HABITS: TBD

SMOKES?: constantly

DRINKS?: yes

DRUGS?: will try anything twice lmao (and yes, i mean she will try everything twice, i didn't just get the saying 'try anything once' wrong)

EDUCATION

COLLEGE EDUCATION: USC

DEGREE(S): Bachelor of Music in Music Production w/ minors in Music Recording & Popular Music

FAMILY

SOCIAL CLASS: Upper Class

FATHER: Isaac Rose (FC: Harrison Ford) - corporate lawyer

MOTHER: Elizabeth Rose (FC: Ellen Pompeo) - entertainment finance manager

SIBLING(S): One older sister, Callan Rose (FC: Laura Dreyfuss) - entertainment lawyer

SOME FUN FACTS

tierney is a los angeles native

she is an industry nepo baby !! her family all works in the legal side of the eterntainment industry and she absolutely used that to her advantage !! she gives typical nepo baby vibes about that though

however, about a year after college, her parents were like, you need to get serious and stop being ... well, you, so she decided to move out to new york despite being such a true blue california native, and decided to try "supporting herself" "without their help"

she chose to live in new jersey because she is sorta obsessed with jack antonoff. but like in a casual cool way, not in a fangirl way (lie)

her other music hero is alexandra patsavas

tierney also has a podcast discussing music with one of her friends, as well as works as a sound engineer at the stone pony every once in a while when they need someone local

she has a MASSIVE record collection - it’s her pride & joy. she is definitely a regular at groovy graveyard, so if you have a character who works/shops there, they almost definitely have bumped into her

basically tierney lives, breathes, eats & sleeps music - it’s her entire life and she is insanely passionate about it. don’t ask her for her opinion on an artist unless you want an entire verbal essay and possibly a power point

as it is, tierney is a true music junkie, so she doesn’t dislike anything. she can find pros and cons and merits to pretty much any artist and enjoys talking about why they’re popular or they should be, or why they have influence/are good/talented/relevant, whatever the argument for them is

basically if someone asks her about music, be prepared to just have to listen to her rant about it for a million years

she’s kinda a hippie, she’s constantly going to yoga or mediating or trying new herbal concoctions or acupuncture or cupping or buying new crystals or whatever - any ailment she suggests yoga for rather than, like, going to a doctor? again, la native here

tierney is all about trusting in the universe

she’s like…wildly chaotic. she will try anything once (and usually more than that), goes out all the time, has the weirdest sleep schedule (maybe just never sleep in general), and yet somehow is always a ball of energy

other than groovy graveyard, places she'd frequent in asbury park are pipe dreams smokeshop, wonder bar, madam marie's, the abandoned casino & carousel, paranormal books & curiosities, sandoval dollar, & silverball retro arcade

overall, tierney is really laidback & chill & loves to vibe & party and gets along with pretty much anyone

CONNECTION IDEAS

i would love people who have been her podcast co-host ?? i kinda imagine it's a bit of a revolving door since she's insufferable lmao

give me a good luck, babe! inspired toxic situationship and i will love you forever

more will come soon but these are the first two ideas off the top of my head

and always down to brainstorm or fill tierney into anything that would fit !!

[ovaruling]

hey girl! happy to—the buccal fat removal was pretty simple compared to the other surgeries, but it was still very painful. as i understand it, the surgeon made incisions on the inside of both of my cheeks, and entered that way, and sucked out the “buccal fat yolk,” as he called it. he explained to me that there’s a pouch of fat there that is yolk-like, and does not usually disappear, even with dramatic weight loss, except in cases of extreme malnutrition where there is no reserve left. that’s how he put it, anyway.

so, he essentially stabbed inside my cheeks through up where the “cheek fat” was, just under my cheekbones, and sucked the fat through those incisions and stitched them from the inside. it was, as i said, extremely painful, and eating and drinking was very difficult for a long time. the scars are inside my cheeks and i can still feel them if i run my tongue over them.

the entire cheek area on both sides, inside and out, is mostly numb. sort of like… when Novocain has started to wear off at the dentist.

but i get sudden, electrifying wallops of pain where the buccal fat used to be at completely random times. i get at least one or two a day. it is pretty agonizing, ngl. it feels like instantaneous nerve pain, if you’ve ever had a dentist nick a nerve on a sensitive tooth. it runs through the cheek into my sinuses and down into my gums and it takes my breath away. when these episodes first started happening i genuinely thought i was having a stroke.

i get a lot of migraines now (brow and temple) and my jaw sits really uncomfortably—i’m always having to bite my inner cheeks or suck my cheeks in manually, or else they become fatigued.

a good experiment is—try to hold your mouth open as long as you can. just—open like a crocodile. as wide as you can go, until your cheeks reach the utmost point of fatigue. that’s what it feels like all the time if i try to relax my face—unless i am constantly drawing in my cheeks or making a “duck face,” my cheeks feel fatigued. i don’t know why—maybe they’re strained without the fat there to support them. collapsing, i guess.

it’s really uncomfortable tbh. i’ve gotten used to it, but it sucks.

and it just looks weird as hell too. all it did was age me and make me look dehydrated and starved.

ykw, i guess it really has affected how i do everything with my mouth and facial expressions. they all had to change in some way to accommodate the new “dimensions.” i wish i could show a before and after pic, bc i had a ton of nice healthy buccal fat and now i just look soooo hollowed out and honestly i look so bad lol. i smile differently, i make all my expressions differently. what feels “natural” is kind of weird—cheeks sucked in manually, or lips sucked into my mouth manually. biting of upper and lower lips into the mouth. just… a constant need to draw the face inward to relieve the cheek fatigue.

which leads me to say that once again there does not seem to be a resting position for my face anymore. it’s a neverending strain on the cheek muscles. maybe that’ll change over time—or maybe i’ll strengthen the cheek muscles with facial yoga, idk. but for now it’s a constant nagging need to keep my cheeks sucked in or my lips drawn into my mouth, like this…

…so that they’re supported in some way from the fatigue. idk, it’s really weird. hate it.

the sudden pains are pretty bad too esp bc i never know when they’ll happen. there’s no trigger, really, but i have noticed that cold or hot drinks/foods mean they’ll happen within the half hour. the worst is when they happen WHILE i’m drinking hot coffee or am mid-chew in food. i’ve almost choked a few times that way, lol. super annoying.

that’s all i can think of for now! hopefully that helps a bit. please feel free to ask any specific questions i didn’t answer!

[findmeinthefallair]

A Look at Hunter’s Complex PTSD (Part 3)

In this next part, I’ll go over certain trauma-related behaviours which we see in Hunter: ruminating and basically not being in the present whenever he is emotionally warped back into the past or negative future scenarios.

Warnings for abuse and trauma mentions, as usual.

Whenever he isn’t emotionally in the present (and let’s say his Grimwalker brain is pretty much just like that of us humans lol), the system of connections in his brain called the default mode network (DMN) is being activated.

The author of What My Bones Know, a book that is both a Complex PTSD memoir and collection of research, decided to do more digging about the DMN after having a breakthrough in her recovery journey in a restorative yoga session:

Therefore it seems like the DMN is the daydreaming/“what if” network in our brains.

Eclipse Lake is probably the best example episode that shows Hunter’s DMN being overactive.

Even though he was still calmly planning how to get more of Belos’s approval:

the plan fell through and by the time we see him here:

there is a lot of rumination going on and he's thinking of awful things that could happen in the future (though there is very good reason for the poor thing to be doing so here!).

A couple of other examples:

Here his DMN must be off the charts, and his mind is obviously wondering about what Belos is going to do to him in the future:

While a past-oriented example would be here, in the form of flashbacks:

However..it’s pretty interesting that having a lot of structured military training in his life has (I believe) helped him to be present enough on plenty of occasions. This allows him to perform well to an extent. The downside of that is it has worn down his body via lack of enough rest and nutrition. 

And all this is orchestrated by Belos, who deliberately wanted to control things and reach certain outcomes as Hunter’s abuser: 1. needing him to at least feel special and perform well to a degree, in order for him to become the Golden Guard and to get him to crave more of that oh-so-good feeling, 2. overworking the kid by giving him so much to do and giving such high expectations to fulfill, with dire consequences if he fails (*shudders* It’s so awful tbh, it’s how cults operate). Belos will give just enough, then withdraw affection/attention/love just enough, in the abuse cycle…to suit his agenda. It is manipulative and terrible because affection/attention/love are basic needs of any person, let alone a kid.

In the C-PTSD context, Belos performing all those abusive actions little by little over a period of years would have shaped Hunter’s DMN to be a certain way. But the way forward for him would be practicing more of something called mindfulness.

Related to the above pic, there are definitely moments where Hunter does stuff that short-circuits his overactive DMN to practice mindfulness and healthily shift his focus to the external.

The most obvious would be these:

Focusing entirely on imitating Gus, and on the sound and feeling of his own breaths: doing all this as best as he can.

Focusing on the goal of helping Gus and diverting enough of his attention to the external where he is trying to take deliberate, mindful, slow and deep breaths (note: this doesn't necessarily work for every person, depending on their trauma history).

The unhealthy version of this focus-on-the-external technique would be wanting to avoid reflecting/thinking about something internally, by e.g. overexerting oneself doing exercise or giving attention to the external: during times when looking inward would be the beneficial thing to do.

If that happens, in therapy speak we might want to encourage something called “sitting/staying with the discomfort” which is a vital skill for trauma survivors to learn, since it’s pretty frequent for anyone - even who have experienced pretty minor trauma - to push away or file away our pain using our work life, substance abuse, gaming, eating, etc. Allowing space for the painful, unpleasant feelings to exist alongside the other not-scary emotions, instead of the uncomfortable feelings hijacking the whole emotional experience.

I believe that where we left off in Thanks to Them, the current state of Hunter's mind is that his DMN is largely switched off: because he has steeled himself in a new way, leaning into his support network, to go face Belos together.

It ain’t a yoga class for sure, and won’t be a walk in the park! But his mind doesn’t have space to ruminate or daydream if things are now more “Mission first, to save the Boiling Isles” than ever. 

I just hope that the next time his DMN is in overdrive (which is realistically inevitable), he won't be alone and will receive immediate loving care.

If we rewind through his character arc a little, his work and duties have been his DMN-silencer too.

Until it wasn't:

It was the same for me throughout my teens, the most important method I relied on to survive...though my own DMN-silencers majorly changed in my early 20s to other means like gaming and walking outdoors, once the “gifted kid burnout” (I only say this because I remember some grownups absent-mindedly throwing around the word "gifted" at me, which frankly did not work out to be a positive influence at all in my life) became too much :’)

For our boy, it was wonderful to see his own DMN-silencers gradually changing once he made healthy connections outside the Emperor’s Coven:

*gives him a weighted blanket…something tells me he’ll like that*

Those sorts of activities would be effective in shutting off the internal dialogue that wants to keep punishing him.

To draw extra attention to the bit above, in the C-PTSD context: it is even better that he tries out things that not only ground him in the present but also connect him to his friends:

This is because as stated in Parts 1 and 2, C-PTSD is pretty much about having a web of damaged relationships with people, yourself and the world, because of a considerable range of triggers that could be painful reminders. Creating new positive memories in trusted safe company, in new settings, is therefore vital.

With my own C-PTSD background, I experience that particular grounding and interconnectedness whenever I do things like go out to hang out with friends in person or on voice call, singing alone in my room to fave songs, cooking/baking (for the time being, I realize I hate yoga because it reminds me of church), or even when I’m making my Owl House fanart to share on this blog: because that “state of interconnectedness, a feeling that we belong to something—a society, a world that is bigger than us, that shares our essential humanity”, to quote the book author, definitely improves my mental health. That great feeling has been the strongest when I attend comic/anime conventions, or during watch parties for new episodes of TV shows/movies.

Below is a paragraph from the book that is a nice fresh realization:

It is a relief that recovery does not have to purely involve heavy-lifting (e.g. facing our demons in therapy sessions). Instead, there can be pleasant lighter aspects of the process e.g. something as simple as feeling that good sensation when you stretch in the morning, that are just as valid and have their own significance.

A big sign that Hunter is healing significantly is if the strength of the newer positive memories he's made can match, and eventually be stronger than, his traumatic memories.

It will take a lot of work but it will of course pay off greatly.

[fishyy-fish]

Untitled Sidnate Fic Sneak Peak

Tbh it’s probably gonna be called Maneater because I’ve been on a Nelly Furtado kick lately and I’m allergic to naming fics anything except song titles/lyrics.

Sneak peak under here because it’s horny in spirit, not in practice. The spirit is willing but the author cannot write anything more than tenderhorny allegories for smut.

I can do this, he thinks as he pushes his palms and the balls of his feet into the thick spongey foam of his mat and breaths in and out slowly, I survived the 2016-2017 season so I can survive playoffs and living with Sid.

Twenty minutes later, Nate is forced to rethink that. Sid must hear the yoga video stop, has to know that Nate finally feels calm enough to not think of bending Sid over the nearest surface in his house and fucking a baby in to him at all times, because he comes into the gym to do his work out. He walk into the room and Nate’s jaw drops because Sidney’s wearing the shortest shorts Nate has ever seen and a tight t-shirt that pulls across his bulky shoulders and pecks. Nate lets out a low whistle (he’s only human, ok?). “It’s lululemon,” Sid says, before heading to Nate’s weights. “It sure is, bud,” Nate says, unapologetically staring at Sid’s ass and thighs as he bends over to look at the kettle bells Nate has.

Nate blames Marchy. He doesn’t know how, he doesn’t know when, he doesn’t know why, but Marchy had found out about their summer thing two years ago, and had become hell bent on torturing Nate since then. Clearly, Marchy had upped his level of sadism to previously unknown highs for the league’s little ball of hate. Maybe he was worried that the Aves would meet the Bruins in the finals, so he decided to send Nate to an early grave and prevent that. Nate would be pissed, but also if Sid’s ass is the view as he dies, who is Nate to complain?

[07-bilin]

swimmer au - haikyuu!

₊˚ପ⊹ summary: haikyuu boys as swimmers and their strokes cause your girl is a swimmer and i just see a lot of them as swimmers LMAO

₊˚ପ⊹ warnings: none

₊˚ପ⊹ a/n: ive been into haikyuu for years but im starting to get back into it due to edits on my fyp so have this lovely set of hc with my sport :) - p.s: let me know if you want more!

₊˚ପ⊹ w/c: 779

karasuno

hinata: he gives off breast-stroke vibes lowkey like that man can jump and sure as hell his legs can bend in that manner very fast-- he'd probably only do 100 breast and then during medly he would swim the 50 for their relay team. might also be in free every now and then to y'know compete against kageyama lmao.

adding on to this hinata would probably be very similar to how he is in the anime eating 24/7 and sleeping and slacking off tbh. seems like the guy who'd break his cap multiple times during regions or something costing the team a hefty sum. also the guy to write on his body with words like "eat my bubbles" and shit.

kageyama: its giving free sprinter. swims 50-100 free and occasionally the 200 in which he legitimately sprints the whole thing. hated being in relays with other people during his middle school club years, especially the 200 free cause its a "life or death" situation. eventually in his high school years he softened up a bit and gave tips to his relay members.

he makes sure to plan his carb intake days for meets. other people may think its funny but kageyama takes his yoga very seriously and it began to rub off on the other first years lowkey. is the victim to chicken fights on free days at practice resulting in him having to buy dinner for everyone.

tsukishima: for how long he is, he very much gives me a backstroke swimmer. the type of guy to say back is the best because you don't inhale as much water but every time you see a professional picture of him taken he's struggling to breathe. does 100 back and then back during medly.

in his earlier years of swimming he swam fly because he has a huge wingspan but later in his years he switched to back because he claimed that he didn't have enough strength for the stroke. (real)

nekoma

kuroo: my boy just reeks of fly swimmer. he's crazy. he does it from the 50 medly up to the 200 fly. during meets he likes to put on fake tattoos to seem "manly" but they end up washing away in the warm-up pool and the team gets in trouble for the mess.

the captain who makes sure there is a team dinner every single week. love's dryland days because he gets to show everyone how much he can lift in the weight room. is also a menace to society and will write shit to tick off other teams.

kenma: is also a breast swimmer because lowkey he likes the different feel to it. in reality its because it was called the 'froggy' stroke when he was younger. every time he comes to practice he thinks to himself why he chose a sport where he can't breathe.

that one swimmer on the team who constantly "forgets" his suit and can't swim. (kuroo carries and extra one in case this happens). has lost too many hair ties in the pool, more than he can count tbh.

fukurodani

bokuto: he is a fly/free sprinter. loves the feeling of fly when he swims it. does the 50-100 for both strokes. he's really goofy and has a whole collection of speedo's with different designs that he likes to wear on specific days of the week. do not let this man near the speaker in the weight room, he will be screaming lyrics at the top of his lungs.

he probably dq's a lot of the relays from excitement and falls in the pool sometimes. on free days he likes to go beneath the depths of the water and grab peoples legs and drag them down into the water. tries to dive off the diving boards but has always ended in belly flops or just a big splash of water. is not a morning practice type of guy.

akaashi: he gives me back/distance swimmer. he's just like yeah lemme zone out for a bit and then like 4 mins later he's done and he's like oh okay cool. for back he does the medly with bokuto as back and then for distance he does the 200 and 500 free. the type of guy to let out sighs after stretching, you for sure can hear his bones cracking as well.

during meets you can see akaashi on the bench with his sony headphones on top of his cap nodding to his music. (its probably rnb). the type to bring his own equipment to practice rather than using the faculties. bokuto and him have matching pj's they wear to every single meet.

[quenthel]

ik its annoying to hear the advice “yoga will cure your depression” but the thing is that closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing and moving your body a bit in a way thats not punishing (like doing cardio) or meant to build up sweat necessarily, but instead moving it in an understanding way and only pushing yourself until its comfortable does help. Like I sometimes forget too but when getting depressed taking care of the very basics, like breathing, drinking enough water, eating enough and well, cleaning my body and yes moving at least a little are SO important. And after a while sure you might enjoy other more “punishing” or sweaty things but they are an acquired taste.

same goes for the touch grass advice tbh. or the go outside one. does not have to be a specific place just go somewhere where there is something green and some air. go stand under a tree on the street where your apartment is or some shit. bc its not about the place itself or being outside necessarily but instead not spending all your time in a small consigned space and about looking at something green. taking your mind off of whatever is bouncing around in there and just look at a plant. its good i prommy and it does not have to be structured

[idyllicsimmer]

15 questions for 15 mutuals 🤍

i was tagged by @akitasimblr , who holds a special place in my heart as she’s Aurora Bloom’s number 1 fan (and made me CC photos of her kids ❤️). thank you for the tag, darlin!

1. are you named after anyone? nope! my parents couldn’t agree on a name and found mine in the baby book.

2. when was the last time you cried? oh, probably like a day ago. crying is like breathing for me 😅

3. do you have kids? no and i’m undecided if that’s my future TBH.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? i don’t think as much as i used to.

5. what sports do you play/have you played? track and field? i’m not a big team sports gal. i do enjoy CrossFit / Olympic lifting, yoga, and hiking.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people? this might seem odd but their eyes (and also their body language).

7. scary movies or happy endings? happy endings!

8. eye colour? brown.

9. any special talents? uhhhh … i can make a clover with my tongue? and I guess i’m pretty mobile with yoga. i honestly don’t really have any except for weird pointless stuff 😅

10. where were you born? Canada!

11. what are your hobbies? reading, simblr, bookstagram, gaming, weightlifting, yoga, walking, and lately photography.

12. do you have any pets? i have 2 beautiful cats, Kiki and Willow.

13. how tall are you? 163cm.

14. fave subject in school? i’m going to assume high school (which was a lifetime ago), so English literature and vocal music.

15. dream job? either a children’s literature librarian or working at a small boutique bookstore/coffee shop.

tag! you’re it! (but please do not feel pressured to do this either): @estah @simopeia @bakersimmer @rebouks @hazelminesims @nihilismtrcit @a-sims-garden @dreamstatesims