#yo-sd body

[whorekneecentral]

A Sandy Christmas

Sugar Daddy!Jenson Button x Fem!Reader

Warnings: the iconic sugar daddy JB, college aged reader (over 20), expensive vacations, gift giving is his love language, you're both soooo all up on each other, the use of daddy both in a sexual and non sexual context, thanking him in good way ;), oral (m!receiving), penetrative sex (p in v), hair pulling, some old man teasing at the end.

Word Count: 1,714

Author's Note: this is for my og jenson girlies that were here from the start, dedicated to the anon that sent in the first sd!jb ask cause you started all of this pookie!!

merry smutmas series

--

Jenson takes you on a dream vacation over the holidays but still makes sure you’ve got a gift to open come Christmas morning.

Exam season is killing you, mentally and physically.

Every bone in your body hurt from being hunched over at your desk for 18 hours a day and your brain felt like it was going to explode if you kept it up for much longer.

Jenson knew as much and he also knew your exam schedule; he couldn't bear to see his girl like that so he did the one thing he did best.

He whisked you away the moment your final exam was over. He knew it'd be a welcomed distraction given that you'd be returning home for the new years; your obnoxious sister was getting married to her high school sweetheart - you'd rather fall down the stairs than attend the wedding but Jenson promised to take you in to trade your car for a new one if you went.

To be fair, he did just get you the car 2 years ago but he figured he needed some sort of reward to get you to go. If he could join you at the wedding, he would but alas he can't.

Sunny Bora Bora was a welcomed distraction; the sunshine, the beaches, the endless cocktails and cock, were keeping you happy.

The first few days were you and Jenson rolling around in bed, lazing and eating whenever, barely getting dressed and spending sun up to sun down on the beach. You had everything you needed right there.

Despite it just being you and Jenson, he rented a whole villa. All the privacy in the world for you two; it was more so, so he could fuck you anywhere he liked but I digress.

Christmas morning and you're woken not by the sunshine but the feeling of Jenson's stubble on your neck.

"Merry Christmas, pretty girl."

You hum, a hand on his jaw. "Merry Christmas, Jense."

"C'mon, I have something to show you." He whispers in your ear, not giving you a moment to gather yourself. Instead he pulls you out of bed, his hand in yours as you sleepily follow him though the villa.

There's a massive Christmas tree by the windows, right in the middle but that was there when you arrived. What wasn't there before were all the gifts surrounding the tree.

"Jenson," you stop, looking at him. There's a grin on his face. "You didn't."

"I couldn't let Christmas pass without giving you a gift." He smiles, kissing your temple as he sits on the couch.

"We agreed that this trip was my Christmas gift."

"But the trip is for me too, so it can't count. Loophole baby," he raises his eyebrows, almost as high as his ego. You huff, "this is more than a gift, Jenson."

"You're a good girl, I'd buy you the world if I could." He tells you, smiling as you kiss him.

"I don't need the world, Jenson." You tell him, sitting in front of the tree. There are at least 20 bags and boxes neatly wrapped and set under the tree.

"I'd still buy it for you, princess." He smiles, taking a sip of his coffee as you unwrapped your gifts one by one; Gucci, Prada, Van Clef, Louis Vuitton - you name it, it was under the tree.

You had no idea how you'd get it all back home.

You thank him, doing a little try on haul as you unwrap the gifts. Jenson smiles, sitting comfortable as he watches you model your gifts for him.

"Happy?" He asks, patting his thigh. You sit yourself on his lap, an arm over his shoulder as you lean into him.

"Beyond happy," you whispered against his lips. "Thank you daddy."

"Anything for you, baby."

The two of you go about your day, you'll be leaving your little paradise tomorrow and returning to reality so you were trying to soak up the last of the sunshine. Lazing by the water, you watched as Jenson attempted to surf, gave up and decided on a swim instead, the man came back to kiss you, dripping the sea water all over you.

You push him away, giggling as he tries to grab at you. You rolled away, getting up and running from him; Jenson chased you down the beach right back to the villa.

Jenson planned dinner for the two of you, a little restaurant not too far from your villa. You wined and dined, chatting about his work and your plans not to strangle your sister with her veil. He assured you that you'd be fine and that as soon as the wedding was over, you could return home to him.

Upon returning, you decide to pack. This way you two could spend more time in bed in the morning rather than having to rush and pack then.

Jenson's back is to you as you bring in the last of your presents from the living room. He'd manage to fold what you had brought with you into the one suitcase opposed to the two it was in originally and had been trying to fix your gifts into the empty one.

He feels your arm wrap around his waist, fingers drumming against his midriff as you watch him put the boxes into the suitcase.

You're on your tiptoes, a kiss pressed to his jaw; Jenson thinks it's innocent enough and yet, he feels your lips drop lower. From his jaw to his neck and your fingers are pulling at his shirt collar, trying to expose more skin.

"Sweetheart," he whispers, swatting away your wandering hands. "We need to pack."

"Mhm hm," you turn him to face you, your hand on his jaw when you kiss him. Jenson leans on the edge of the bed, his arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you into him

He was easy like that, a kiss from you and he's like putty in your hands.

He watches as your fingers trail down the front of his shirt, sliding under the hem of it. Jenson takes that as his hint to take it off, tossing it on the floor somewhere. Your hand wanders further down, brushing over the cold metal of his belt. 

Jenson smiles, pecking your lips softly. "Let me thank you," you whispered against his lips. His brows furrow, "what for?"

"Everything," you tell him, sinking down onto your knees in front of him.

Jenson undoes his belt and the button, “open.” 

Without hesitation, your mouth opens and you’re looking up at him once again. He slaps your tongue with his cock softly, waiting for a reaction. The slight curve of your lips was enough for him to know it was okay. A hand tangled in your hair, pulling and pushing you, setting the pace. 

The stifled gag was enough for him to pull back, giving you a moment to catch your breath. 

His eyes fixed on you as your lips wrap around his cock, his chest dropping and raising with each breath.

He can’t help but notice the lipstick on the base of his cock, your head bobbing up and down. Jenson's hand pulls your hair away from your face, letting you set the pace.

His hand turns over and you feel his knuckles brush along your cheek. “Like being on your knees for me, hm? My good girl.” 

The praise hits you straight in the core, only making you go faster. Your cheeks hollow as you bob your head up and down. Jenson's hips buck, your nose brushing against him. 

His head falls back against the couch, breathing out a string of explicits as you hollow your cheeks. “C’mere.” He pulls you off him slowly, savouring the feeling of your tongue sliding up the underside of his cock.

You kiss him, the moan slipping from your lips as he manhandles you.

“Turn around,” he whispers against your lips, a hand on your hip as he turns you around to face the bed. 

Your arms are propped on the mattress, holding yourself up. He pushes your dress up, bunching over your hips. His hand slips between your thighs, fingers brushing over your panties and your head drops forward. 

Panties pushed to the side and Jenson reached forward, a hand tangled in your hair to pull you up, forcing you to look at the reflection in the window. His other hand holds your hip once he pushes into you. 

“See,” he mumbles to himself, glancing down between the two of you before his eyes meet yours in the reflection. “Look how pretty you are,” he whispers, kissing along the back of your shoulder as his hips dig into your ass. 

The knot in your stomach tightens when his hand on your hip slips down between your legs, reaching for your clit. He barely moves his fingers before your own hand reaches down to rest on his. The feeling of his fingers pulls your attention.

"Please daddy-" you're cut off by a moan and by Jenson pushing you down onto the bed.

You prop yourself up on your forearms once again, eyes fixed on anything but what he was doing. 

He could feel you clenching around him, pushing back into him for more.

“Shh, it’s okay baby, I know.” He tells you, thrusts getting sloppier by the second.

The two of you in sync, Jenson's chest pressed to your back as you came down from your orgasm. He peppered kisses all over your back, rubbing your side softly. He leans to press a kiss to your neck before pulling out slowly. 

You can feel Jenson wiping your thighs and between your legs, cleaning you up before fixing your dress. You're still facedown in the mattress, too fucked out to even think about moving at the moment. He senses as much, giving you a push by the ass and up onto the bed you went.

The clink of his belt comes from behind you, the man fixing his pants - you assumed he'd be joining you in bed but instead, you heard some sort of shuffling behind you.

Rolling you, you see that Jenson had resumed his packing from before.

"You know," you start, sitting up. "Most men your age are dead to the world after a fuck like that."

Jenson laughs, walking over to you. His hand cups your jaw, "I'm not like most guys my age."

--

taglist:  @nosugarallspice @evieepepi08 @mimithepooh @koufaxx @dannyramirezwife-simpaccount @topguncultleader @molliemoo3 @aisharmi @mamako23 @ac3may @lewislcver @miahgonzalez16 @books-and-netflix-pls @wibi96 @bwddermilch @pedrisgatorade @clarasenchant @sainzluvrr // @forza55 @norrisleclercf1 @allalngthewtchtower @therealcap @burningcupcakefire @stargirl36 @brettlorenzi3 @guiseppetsunoda @magnummagnussen @flippingmyshit @savrose129 @lovelytsunoda @irda12-blog @dhhdhsiavdhaj @slytheringirlthatkillpeople @f1lovers22 @toomuchdelusion @eviethetheatrefreak @faye2029 @lillians-world-is-f1 @chalando1604 @lenaxwbr @im-obsessed @potashiuhm @lcxlerc16 @enjoythebutterflies3 @lillyfootballsworld @micksmidnights @mashtonbunny @chrlsleclerc @logischeroktopus

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Soooo a reply in the most recent Oil Is Thicker Than Blood release (by @dronebiscuitbat ) gave me an idea! And threw my impulse control out of my window!

BE WARNED: this contains a more than implied spicy Nuzi scene, which is canon in the universe of Oil Is Thicker Than Blood. I also tried my best to finish this so be also warned for potentially sucky writing lmao

Edit: I FOUND THE GUY THAT INSPIRED THIS SHIT IT'S @/makiyu23 THANK YOU DUDE THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE THIS WITHOUT YOU

[EAVESDROPPING]

That red eyed freak... She's gonna pay.

Crawling in the vents. She always loved crawling around, whether it's the roof, the walls, or the ventilation systems, it always felt so good and satisfying.

This time didn't feel good the usual way now. It felt good like a revenge. Fitting.

While she's doing that, she found a few trinkets along the way! Neat! Things to look at instead of her glasses! She always disliked looking at her own glasses out of boredom, it brings memories she doesn't have consent for... Y'know what else she didn't consent to?

...

Let's not joke about that time, V...

...

Anyway! Back to searching through the vents! And sending those updates on the red thing stuff too!

"robo-god i fucking love crawling it's satisfying like-..." She stops for a moment... Then sighs... "Let's not ramble about these things alone V, you'll seem crazier than you already are..."

After long minutes of crawling around in the vents and sending updates on the search, she started to hear something...

Talking?

There's people talking...

There's people talking.

"Look, i'm just sayin', we can't have these Murder Drones in 'ere at all, ya know their body count? As someone who like- counts the deaths and missing drone cases, i say they're up to like- the THOUSANDS!"

"You know Khan's orders and announcement, they're living with us now, end of. We cannot keep having this conversation, Sean..."

"Susan please just- just understand what i'm trying to say here!"

"We can't keep up a relationship if all you're gonna ramble about is the Murder Drones wanting to make amends."

A Worker with an irish accent... Rambling to another, 50% masculine 50% feminine and 100% tired sounding, about the fact that she and N are living in the bunker with them and how he's against it. Of course. If she could drop down right then and there... She would. But she can't, she made a promise... Stupid promise but hey, she cares about that idiot.

...

Stupid feelings, stupid concept of caring, stupid core, now she feels all mushy and gross...

Ughh, get back to work you trauma bag!

Beep. Update sent. And as she crawls around the vents, a message for Lizzy. Heehee Lizzy she cute- SHUT UP BRAIN.

SD-V: yo liz i caught two people talking while i crawled in the vents, wanna hear?

A few seconds later...

Lizthequeen: OMG yes!!! drop the gossip gurl!!!

SD-V: so theres these two workers talkin shit about me and n for obvious reasons and apparantly these two workers are also a dumb lovey dovey couple

Lizthequeen: oh shiz you talking about sean and susan??? oh theyre having constant problems with their relationship i heard!!

SD-V: thats what im saying. theyre in constant problems with their relationship yeah

Lizthequeen: they are fr?? daaayyuummm gurl...... are they breaking up now???

V stopped to look back and crawl a little backwards to hear...

"... Susan- Susan please don't do this to me-"

"No no no no you know what? You know what? We're done here, all you ramble about is your racism, fuck you and fuck off"

"Susan please!"

Then a slam... Then a sigh...

"... WELL GOOD RIDDANCE I FUCKING GUESS!"

She began crawling forward again... God damn.

SD-V: yup

Lizthequeen: RN????? HOLY SHIT?????

SD-V: yup

Lizthequeen: they finally broke up........ thank you for sharing the info bestie i owe u so much

SD-V: yeah you owe me a good hanging out

What the FUCK. WHY DID YOU SEND THAT WHY DID YOU SAY THAT

V immediately stopped messaging in flustered frustration, yellow filling her visor and embarrassment filling her... Everything. Fuck's sake.

...

...

...

Lizthequeen: what do u mean by that ;3c

SD-V: nothing shut up buzz off im busy anyway BYE

Then to the right goes the program...

...

...

...

That was stupid.

...

...

Okay that's processed.

As she crawled by, she began to hear more chatter... Right, people exist.

"Guy imma need to talk to ya"

"Oh no. My name in b flat. I'm in trouble"

"More like i wanna discuss something with you regarding the whole Khan's daughter and N thing..."

"... Am i in trouble?"

"Stop saying you're in trouble, i just wanna talk"

PFFFFT

"“Stop saying you're in trouble” yeah shut up before you get in trouble hehehehehe-"

"What the HELL was that?!"

V squeaked in surprise, then yelled back, attempting to threaten the two into submission.

"YOU BETTER NOT TRY ME OR I WILL DROP DOWN AND RIP YOU TO SHREDS YOU TOASTERS!!"

...

...

"Okay, no need to yell lass, we would've listened anyway"

"Yeah what Han said"

V sighed in relief and kept crawling and sending updates. Situation avoided.

...

...

Crawling by crawling by, crawling by for the sake of your life~

This is getting really boring, i fucking hate this now i wanna go home~

She sang as she crawled in the vents, sending updates every few as she found new things and new gossip, making herself laugh a little as she crawled... She needed those laughs and those moments. She needed a break from the tension and the fear. The dread. That red eyed freak...

...

That red eyed freak.

...

"You want me to lead?" She heard, faintly, as she crawled about...

What in the god damn?? Uzi??

"Lay down then"

What????????

She crawled forward and stopped to hear the possible new gossip...

...

What the fuck are they doing down there.

"Relax, okay?"

"O-okay..."

Uzi?? N?? What are they...

...

Oh they can't be.

"I-i'm not t-that insteresting"

"You're gorgeous, actually"

"Shouldn't i be saying that to y-you?"

Nuh uh they're not i don't believe... N would be a bottom though.

A little more of hearing from inside the vents, it becomes clearer as every second passes. She can't move.

She jerks a leg forward, yet it's stiff. She can't move.

She tries the same with one arm, it's stiff too. She can't move.

She tries to at least launch herself forward, but her whole body is stiff. She can't move.

She sighs... I can't move... I can't stop hearing...

"Ngh... Uzi..."

JUST MOVE LET THEM BE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOV

She jerks an arm, trying to continue crawling.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

FINALLY.

She manages to continue crawling by...

After ceaseless crawling, ending up finding nothing, and having heard quite the event... You think she'll have a word or two for them about it?

She's laid down across the ground, alone in her nest in the spire, seemingly dissociating after the events that transpired...

"Well... Damn." Her last words said in surprise.

...

...

...

...

...

We never got to go far in our relationship.

She swapped her hand up with the submachine gun and aimlessly let loose a barrage of bullets, drowning her thoughts in noise. Drowning her sorrows in noise.

Heavy breathing, panting.

...

"Let's not think of that, V..."

[shinagawa-division]

ANARCHY -City On Fire!!-

Bring The Beat!

[Sumire:]

Yeah, Yeah

Scorpion Den in the house

[Janine:]

Everybody what’s up?

Oooh Yeah Yeah

Oh Tell me

Oh Baby yeah

[Sumire:]

This world is hell whether we live or die

So let’s smile and go for it, raise our flag high

It’s the call for anarchy, a festival, so create some havoc

The moon is high in the sky tonight

Kill, kill, kill, the words repeated by a maverick

Let’s lose our inhibitions, fuck shit up, and start a fight

We’ll never be restricted

This night now belongs to the wicked

[Scorpion Den:]

Go! Go! We’re gonna turn it up!

(Turn it up, Turn it up, Turn it up)

[Janine:]

Uh LAi LAi LAi LAi LAi

We are the Scorpions (We are the Scorpions!)

Sittin’ on the top

Burn everything to nothing

Uh LAi LAi LAi LAi LAi

We are the Scorpions (We are the Scorpions!)

Sittin’ on the top

Beats set ablaze

WE ON FIRE!!

[Scorpion Den:]

Hot hot hot, We gonna burn it up

Hot hot hot, We gonna light up

Hot hot hot, We’re so excited

Hot hot oh, WE ON FIRE

Hot hot hot, We gonna burn it up

Hot hot hot, We gonna light up

Hot hot hot, We’re so excited

Hot hot oh, WE ON FIRE

[Zoya & Trickster:]

Painting the streets with neon colors

Lighting up the buildings with bombs and fire

That’s right, join us my sisters and brothers

The cheers of the damned are fuel to our desire

We’ll beat ’em with all our tech and powers

We’ll demonstrate what true hell is

A badass group of genius wiz

Scorpion Den, the future is ours

[Miyabi & Yosuke:]

The night’s young, let’s keep the party going

Let everyone know we’re striking at the world

Playing by the rules? How boring

A plague of insanity being unfurled

Yo! Listen up, we’re making a decree

A warning to anyone that messes with SD

Stopping until we even the score

[Scorpion Den:]

We, Scorpion Den! Are ready for war!

Go! Go! We’re gonna turn it up!

(Turn it up, Turn it up, Turn it up)

[Janine:]

Uh LAi LAi LAi LAi LAi

We are the Scorpions (We are the Scorpions!)

Sittin’ on the top

Burn everything to nothing

Uh LAi LAi LAi LAi LAi

We are the Scorpions (We are the Scorpions!)

Sittin’ on the top

Beats set ablaze

WE ON FIRE!!

[Scorpion Den:]

Hot hot hot, We gonna burn it up

Hot hot hot, We gonna light up

Hot hot hot, We’re so excited

Hot hot oh, WE ON FIRE

Hot hot hot, We gonna burn it up

Hot hot hot, We gonna light up

Hot hot hot, We’re so excited

Hot hot oh, WE ON FIRE

[Janine:]

Won’t let anyone stop it, keep it burning

Be free and shake your body

Won’t let anyone interfere, take it warning

Roll with us and we’ll show ya’ll magic

Won’t let anyone stop it, keep it burning

Be free and shake your body

[Scorpion Den:]

Go! Go! We’re gonna turn it up!

(Turn it up, Turn it up, Turn it up)

Uh LAi LAi LAi LAi LAi

We are the Scorpions (We are the Scorpions!)

Sittin’ on the top

Burn everything to nothing

Uh LAi LAi LAi LAi LAi

We are the Scorpions (We are the Scorpions!)

Sittin’ on the top

Beats set ablaze

WE ON FIRE!!

Hot hot hot, We gonna burn it up

Hot hot hot, We gonna light up

Hot hot hot, We’re so excited

Hot hot oh, WE ON FIRE

Hot hot hot, We gonna burn it up

Hot hot hot, We gonna light up

Hot hot hot, We’re so excited

Hot hot oh, WE ON FIRE

[hoawebsitehostin]

9 Compelling Reasons to Upgrade from EOS 5D Mark IV to EOS R5

Are you a passionate photographer or videographer wanting to take your skills to new heights? If you already possess Canon's legendary EOS 5D Mark IV, you may be thinking about upgrading to the famous manufacturer's latest product, the Canon EOS R5. While the EOS 5D Mark IV has been a staple in the industry, the EOS R5 introduces a slew of new features and innovations that potentially transform your creative process. In this article, we'll look at nine convincing reasons why switching from the EOS 5D Mark IV to the EOS R5 might be a game changer for your photography and filmmaking projects.

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[castle-dominion]

let's watch the version with only two ppl bc I think it will be easier when I'm exercising (tho I always like listening to the executive producers & I'd love to get some other crew ppl at some point)

gosh there are 9 caption options with all the languages & audio versions dang

"didn't talk much" Yeah plastic bag over the head didn't get a chance to meet him? Gah that's sad

talking about how hot susan sullivan is lol she was flirting with us cuz she's hot & she's allowed JH always acts like we haven't seen the episode yet. if we are watching the commentary, we have PROBABLY seen the episode already babes "a prom date? isn't she like eleven?" SD: do you think nathan will ever have kids? JH: he just needs to quit bossing me around like he's my dad

I like how all the other audio commentaries are like "talking about stuff, sometimes conversations are sparked by the show" but this one is just "shush don't talk over us this is our scene!"

SD: Good scene, I want a still of that with everone's autograph JH: Do you want me to sign that for you <3? SD: SD: No, 'cause I can sell it JH: I sell most of my stuff on ebay SD: You sold all the stuff I gave you 🥺?

poor guy, plastic bag, heat, holding breath, playing dead...

SD: Without me🥺??? JH: I like looking at dead bodies

JH: I do the Barack walk, it's like, part of my character SD: ???? JH: My obama walk

SD: A little young for him? JH: He's 35 on the show SD: Oh my Gahd! JH/JE: I'm a detective, I know these things

SD: Poeple roll on the floor in grief

JH: Nathan ask her out? SD: Did he??? JH: I'm asking SD: oh, no he didn't. But damn look at the jawline on him. Not right now that's her.

Poor guy couldn't find his light

SD: That (if you step on nathan's line/light, you, dever, can get fired) was in my contract from day one, written in red ink I remember.

what the f are they talking about XD XD XD JH: You know, my mom, in the 70s, she went to canada...

Yo that was the SOUND STAGE??

bro. WE HAVE SEEN THE EPISODE. JH PLEASE. IT'S OK. SD: we play well in a two-shot ; ) SD: See what's tucked under my arm there? (castle book) JH: Yeah. Woah soup coolers! SD: . You don't even want to talk about it

HOLY CRAP THAT'S SPECIAL practical EFFECTS MAKEUP Like what would you tell your agent? "WHat do you mean I'm auditioning for obscene faced woman?" The special effects are great & do a lot of work

Oh good for him! "He's available for parties, bat mitzvahs, bar mitzvahs, he brings his own jumpy castle," he's going to kill me when he sees this

Sal the wardrobe guy! My beloved!

SD: "You're gonna give her a complex" MR: She already has body image issues both: *cracking up* JH: I remember when I was her age I had body... Me: wow real full of yourself JH: ....... image issues too SD: would u describe SS as "brassy"? JH: I already described her to you. the word was "hot" JH: I hope she watches this & knows I think she's hot

JH: sh, great scene coming up SD: Our last two scene : ( *both fake laughing* SD: I laughed genuinely there that entire set, beautiful place, ONE scene? It shows that they love us SD: we have to fill out those forms after hours. ...You don't? JH: Not part of my job, that's part of yours I like the dynamic they put on, the "you could get fired" & "you need to fill out forms" & stuff they play with JH: it's bc you're the New Guy

SD: Look at you there. Steamy. JH: My attitude or my look? SD: The way I feel when I look at you XD bruh

SD: She's not here JH: SD: SD: Everybody has seen this before so we can say: She's the killer! It's called hide the killer. Nobody watches the commentary first. You watch the episode first & then you're like *in a voice* "that was intriguing; jon huertas; I saw him on generation kill. I'm going to see what he has to say about episode 1:10" JH: Wait nobody watches the episode with the commentary on first? I can't tell if he's joking SD: Noo! You're not supposed to! & when you do you go "Oh I don't want to hear this first it'll ruin everything." They Know that. JH, wistfully: That's what I've been doing wrong all these years (I think THIS is a joke tho) SD: There are spoilers!

JH: There he goes trying to make you look stupid SD: You didn't know it either! Nor did stana! Well Beckett didn't. Stana knew bc she read the script Uh yeah that's how it works

SD: the bullpen uwu, look at the floor-- wait I love this scene JH: you're not supposed to stop talking SD: me & castle bond really quick here

Do y'all usually watch it more than once? I mean you read the script & act the dang thing & yeah you watch the final episode, but do u usually watch these things more than once? JH: You don't watch it over & over again like I do? SD: no, I don't. Once, & then I burn it

KR: checked my wallet for condoms & showed me his gun collection. My hands were shaking so bad I could barely put on the corsage. JH: did that actually happen to you? SD: no. improv: "yes and" SD: I mean yes SD: I mean no

I like how actors get together & talk about building the scene rather than just reciting lines & movements. JH, sounding like he's leaning back, crossing his legs, & folding his arms behind his head: Ladies & gentlemen, it's not on the page, this stuff has to be cultivated. [...] SOMETIMES directors /j

KR: Ask "Hard Candy"? Good luck. RC: "Hard-- hard Candy"? JE: Assistant U.S. Attorney Candace Robinson. She makes mobsters cry. JE, cut & improvised: & she's hot too KR, " " whispered: No she's not JH: but she IS hot SD: no yeah she is I know but yeah, but we have to have-, a lot of times what we do with esposito & ryan, (or at least idk if we've made this consciously as a choice, but) we sort of make opposite choices, which is fun. Subconscious? These two have great on-camera chemistry, they really seem to work well together SD: Like you feel one thing, I sort of check in we're like "what are you thinking during this scene?" JH: Yeah it's true. I feel the right thing, you kind of feel the wrong thing /lh (oh wait there's more after this) SD: Yeah no what I do is I go after the wrong thing. that way there's a foil &, I look stupid, yeah. *JH laughs* No we just make a choice of like I think she's hot, you think she's hot, no I think she's mean JH: but you're doing that just to, just to do the opposite of what I'm doing SD: well that's so there's conflict JH: you, your character actually thinks that she's hot (cause who wouldn't...) SD: conflict is the nature of drama (maybe that's why she's hard candy: mean but pretty) JH: That DA right there was hot SD: She is!but she's mean to me JH: That's the hottest DA we've ever seen SD: but she's mean to me I can't look past the facade of that (ok is that "me" or is that "me as Ryan"?) SD: so this is the example of the kind of things that we like to choose. I like the insight into the characters but dang this was just a funny argument JH: ladies & gentlemen, pay attention to seaon two, I'm lobbying to get her as my love interest for season two SD: let's see if that happens JH: pay attention to season 2 SD: like a kid in a candy store: jon huertas.

JH: u probs know we shoot this in LA SD: WE DO??? JH: this street looked so much like new york I thought I got left out *SD casually drops that this was where the french dip snadwich was created*

yeah I love good use of lighting *in souther accent* he talks like this, *starts repeating his lines but with an alabama accent*

SD: why do they have to make jimmy the rat moran irish? Bro moran is of irish origin but also a hella spanish name so when spain colonized the americas it became a native american hispanic name too... context again, I LOVE the tech props, they make this stuff real, you can actually scroll & stuff! JH, with heart eyes: I love our crew JH: abc <3 beacon <3 SD: u'r kissing up to them JH: I'm trying to get the DA to be my love interest!

*talking about bailey chase & his pretty jawline & killer talents* SD: I think he gets embarrassed when we talk about him like this I hope he watches this JH: he doesn't watch the commentary SD: I'll tell him, I'll text him right now

yk sometimes I can't tell who is talking, huertas/esposito or dever/ryan. With their faces it's ok bc I can often lip read (supplementally, I can't read lips alone,) but in the commentary I can't see their faces. A least with the commentary they usually say which one is talking. They probs do with the regular ep too, I just rely more on the lips during the real episodes than the captions. It's times like this I realize I really am hard of hearing. I sometimes forget I'm HOH bc I can still hear, but then I realize in situations like rn that, well, full hearing ppl don't have these issues. suspense, drama comedy-- *interupts* & horror! (castle with the severed head)

both: uwu molly. She has really grown up! JH: now I'M feeling protective of her. who is this kid, Who Is This Kid? Hold up, who is this kid let me see this kid. Don't say the wrong thing [or] I will come through this microphone [& beat u up] laughing silently trying not to laugh for real & disturb my family

SD: I think I had that tie when I sang in show choir in sophmore year in high school

both: I live in castle's loft. SD: I bring a cot upstairs JH: I sleep in his bed. that's right nathan I sleep in your character's bed *NF+SD doing christopher walken impressions* ngl I love the captions. HUERTAS: (IMITATING CHRISTOPHER WALKEN) Seamus, & that's IT for this line of subtitles, they can only fit ONE WORD on that he actually said SD: Nathan & I were doing it, Jon kind of felt left out he's like "why can't I do a christopher walken?"

good morning I'm back & WOW this ep is taking a long time & I actually didn't have a good workout bc they're so funny I quote every funny line but everything they say is funny argh

WOAH HOLD ON captions said that was dever but DANG that was SOME VOICE

I'm p sure we DO see his face?

JH: bc you're mean to people SD: People are mean to ME!

SD: I was ordering chinese, do you remember? JH fondly: yeah I do SD: wasn't scripted tbh I was /wondering/ what he was doing on the phone. They probably have each other's favourites written down on a list on their phones so they can order enough to share, like my mom-- ooh that would be a good plot point in a fanfic, they find out valuable information by seeing people's food orders in the notes app. maybe they find out who the next-of-kin are if they don't have an identity (they could get that from the phone number-- UNLESS IT'S LIKE ME UNTIL I WAS 19: DIDN'T HAVE A PHONE PLAN), they could find out who the killer is by whose favourite is at the crime scene or the ginger beef sauce around the vic's neck from strangling them, they could go to one of the restaurants & the waiters probably heard smth abt the conspiracy or they could get descriptions of each of them or they could get pics from security footage, idk I think it would be a fun plot point

both: those two mess up & WE are STILL the ones doing the legwork

what? IS THIS WHAT USA HEALTHCARE IS LIKE? YOU GET KICKED OUT OF YOUR ROOM & THEY WORK ON YOU IN THE PARKING LOT SO A SHOW CAN FILM THERE??? oh btw espt's jacket & ryan's shirt, both rly nice. patterned.

SD: "You have to take that axe to my door? I understand, it's for hollywood." We get some very understanding people in this town JH: I think they're understanding because we usually pay them about ten thousand dollars a day

Apparently that thing I hate is called rack focus. it kinds sucks Bill Roe, DP. I love a good dp, I wanted to be a DP at some point, but mister roe PLEASE chill with the focus tricks, t' hurts me eyes.

JH: if he does anything wrong seamus I'm going back thru this microphone Don't you... GET YOUR LIPS OFF... *gasps* Aw that was quinn's fist onscreen kiss ever! Good for her *both clap for her*

u right, I'm glad they are talking abt the music

Oh AM himself wrote this script. Three days!

SD, half an episode after joking about going upstairs with a cot: is there anything up those stairs? I'm awlways scared to go up. JH: I think she actually has a bedroom up there SD: I think she does I think she lives there bc she's underage she's sort of JH: yeah SD: that's where she gets homeschooled

HOLY CRAP MOLLY QUINN IS A VIOLINIST? HECK YEAH! & SHE PLAYS ELECTRIC? OOF THIS IS SO GOOD I NEED TO GO VISIT MY FAVE MUSIC SHOP NOW BC HHHHH I WANT AN ELECTRIC FIDDLEOLA but every electric violin gets bought immediately. oof. Plus I'm probably more likely to get an acoustic electric fiddleola/5stringed violin. I have my eyes on a mandolin tho. Once, dad called a mandoline slicer a "banjo" but fun fact a banjo is another name for a spider, like for deep frying things. I said this to him over text & sent images & then he just sent me a pic of an arachnid.

you're right there ARE many people for a saturday morning... SD/KR: see what happens when you buy an espresso maker? it gets ABUSED castle

SD: is this the last scene we shot together? JH: DON'T MAKE ME CRY IN THIS

SD: nice cup i have there JH: barack obama walk

I love these two bc they KNOW things, they know themselves best so they can point out what was going on in their head during scenes as well as stuff like lighting & music & another actor's first kiss & stuff. wait was that line improvised? did you really make JH have to hold back a laugh on set? "how come he's drinking & sayin his line at the same time?" Glad they're talking abt the mug bc I HAVE noticed that ryan has a specific mug! he DOES change it up for season two JH: that cartoon character on your mug reminds me of you SD: I'm like a clown to you????

SD: Look at that. I like when we're smart. JH: Finally. You know why this is my favourite episode? 'cause you/ryan & I/espt close this case. SD: that's real police work JH/JE: now go get em beckett, we told beckett to go get the guy. SD/KER: that's true. "Go get them, guns drawn. I mean we'd do it but we have a knicks game to go to." I think is what... the line that got cut JH: that's what was going on. SD: that line is gone now JH/JE: we know what happens when we go get people. we tackle them. SD/KR: YOU tackle them, I pull my gun. & then-- but you tackle them really well so I don't.. I don't encroach on your territory JH/JE, chuckling: well thank you SD/KR: yeah JH/JE: You can next time [if] it's a big guy. SD/KR: I might tackle JH/JE: if it was this guy? (onscreen is a somewhat tall, fit, somewhat buff, def strong, like fbi trained man) SD/KR: uhhhhhh I don't think I'd tackle him JH/JE: we'd both need to tackle him SD/KR: I think we'd both need to. He's a tall feller. *silly voice* that's a tall drink of water. JH/JE: I hit him high, you hit him low SD/KR: hit him high, hit him low

jacqueline geary never would have suspected this librarian

Oh wait he DOES have a mask but it's an oxygen mask

SD: I wonder if that sound is post JH: *ASMRs his mic*

**Emotional** JH: so the episode is almost over; are you...? SD: am I feeling weepy JH: Yeah r u getting sad? SD: yeah a little bit. Were you? just now? too? JH: I was SD, voice high+soft: that's amazing. I'm feeling that same thing. it's like that pull of like uh... **emotional...?** JH: we're like the Corsican Brothers SD: yeah. .. What? JH: we can feel each other (right?) SD: oh is that what they did? **yeah nice segue from emotional to whatever the heck this is** JH: cheech & chong's.... SD, laughing: ya oh god you just referenced cheech & chong? JH: come on man who doesn't love cheech & chong? SD: everyone's going to hear that now, & they're going to like, "that's what they do? (watch cheech & chong?)"

JH: *moving the convo to his love interest to-be*

SD: Burn. Facial. ...Psych.

SD: Are we going to get to get in the interrogation room this time? I only went in there once; this whole year. JH: I was only in there once or twice yeah. SD: Don't get me wrong... JH: yeah I want to interrogate somebody. SD: That's a terrible interior there, but... JH: I want to play good cop bad cop. SD: Maybe they'll let us play good cop c- bad cop & I'll, you know... idk, *laughing* maybe not JH/JE: I think you might qualify as the good cop. SD/KR: Really? I c-- you don't think I could be bad cop? (btw I am just remembering all the extras, I like it, the one person by the garbage can is actually caught betting on a murder ordering girl scout cookies next season.) JH: hey SD: You don't know my previous work prior to castle? SD, kind of grumbly: I play a "good guy" on castle JH: I've seen you play a bad guy on... SD: yeah! JH: Ladies & gentlemen (he's said l+g like three times now), Seamus Dever. I saw him on an episode... (wait it's déver? I thought it was deever lol, bc of the e after the consonant probably, stupid english.) SD: Don't promote other network shows they don't like that, it has to be smth that's on ABC JH: another crime... *SD laughs* JH: I don't,, I don't think so JH: but it was another crime procedural; i saw him play the bad guy on there & I was impressed. SD: I used to play nothing but bad guys. I'm happy to play a good guy

sorry it just reminded me of the USOUD google forms version JH: you played nothing but bad guys? SD: yeah for a long time there. It's nice playing good guys tho!

SD, talking about story structure: it's the climax, the cliffhanger JH: r u allowed to say climax? SD: YES. IT'S A LEGITIMATE WORD JH: I just thought maybe SD: in composition JH: the censors might feel weird SD: no, No! SD: it's in english composition class! JH, softly: climax JH: idek what it means except for "climax" SD: No! I mean well maybe if you wouldn't have you know maybe If you'd gone to school a little bit more JH: pfsouhuh (I can't tell who says the first "why") SD: "Why? who needs that? I'm going to become an actor" JH: I'm like kobe bryant. I'm like the kobe bryant of the acting world dude SD: "I'm like kobe bryant, I don't need to..." He's pretty smart though he speaks like three or four different languages, I was surprised by that. (the only shocking thing is that he's american. A lot of europeans I know speak a dozen languages. Mom's first language, dad's first language, the language of the place you live, the secondary language of the place you live, english, another language just for fun... Personally I already speak fluent english & conversational french, tourist-talk in japanese, baby-talk in cree+michif, & then I know a few words in a ton of languages. I want to be fluent in eng, fr, cree+michif (michif is basically half bad cree & half bad french), ASL (I used to have a somewhat functional sign language with my friends at school, it worked for playing tag & stealing candy or complaining at my gramma's bc I taught my brother, but it was all conlang & direct translated english), japanese, & then german, spanish, mandarin, tagalog, & then all other languages too lol bc I like them, portugese, swedish, italian, arabic, hebrew, anishinabe or ojibwe (ojibwe is an anishinabe language like potowatome is an anishinabe language, but ojibwe is also v similar to cree), Gaeilge+Gàidhlig, bungee (which is gaelic+ojibwe), ukranian, dutch, finnish, welsh, inuktitut, cantonese, greek, hindi, punjabi, mauri, russian, Mohawk+Oneida+Onondaga+Cayuga+Seneca+Tuscarora & Cherokee, Mi'kmaq, Innu, Tigrinya, greek, turkish, korean, just all the languages. This list is /kind of/ in order of most important to least important to me btw. By the end it kind of devolved.)

SD+JH: How did we get to talking about kobe bryant? I don't care abt sports at all.

We were at a nice restaurant we thought we had an hour "do do-do do-do, I'll have the steak frites" & the producers were like "uh we're trying to shoot" "can we get this to go?" this really nice lunch "can you pack it up in styrofoam for us?" they were like what?

*announcer voice* this has been Seamus Dever playing detective kevin ryan! & i'm jon huertas ; ) you know who I play 😏

Well that was a lot harder to sit through. it is literally 14.20, 2.20pm, I have not even watched a single ep of castle in my solo watch yet, I was just finishing up from last night. holy fuck. This was supposed to be "you don't need to comment anything dom" but then they were hella funny all the time & I woke up late & can you believe I still need to do a bunch of lessons for work? ugh

[littlewalken]

Ap 16

Nothing says I haven't bought a resin doll since like 2010, guessing at Lily's age here, like realizing that not only do I have no idea where my eye putty is but it's probably dried out. The only pair they had in her size was green which will work just fine. No eye mech so I might get brown for the spare plate.

Britches the Volks MDD counts as a full set and I'm assuming she has eye tubes like Shi Shi, haven't opened her head to check because there's been no need to change her eyes.

And I don't have any 6-7 wigs and if I do it's Lily's spare wig and you try explaining to a Yo-SD it has to share. Also their colors won't work for the Unoa, she's a ginger, she's got freckles all over and very good subtle body blushing.

I did change the lip color on the open mouth head. Just painted over what was there. In real life it's a cold Barbie pink, if that makes sense, and I warmed it up to closer to the lighter color in the dress.

Someone else made her a couple of A line dresses, they have traits of a beginning sewer, but this dress is better put together.

No idea what she wants to be called or anything. Usually when I buy a doll, especially with the customs, it's character first then finding a doll to match. Britches I figure was meant to be a kludge Cardcaptor Sakura because she dates from the time Volks put one out and looks like her at first glance.

This little sweetie has freckles all over and that little bracelet. She's got all the time in the world to figure herself out. The only... and it's not even an issue... Is none of the doll clothes fabric I have at hand is the right color scheme for her and we'll have to go shopping.

Or in the case of the calicos they're all fat quarters and she'll need at least a yard. She's around 43cm tall.

PS: If any of my doll friends have 12mm eyes in shades of brown or a light purple-violet-lavender that would look good on a red head and size 6-7 wigs in shades of strawberry blonde to auburn that aren't too thick let me know.

Someone has to be a size completely different from everyone else I have :p

[sin-bjd]

It’s been a hot second

For a long while I was thinking of just leaving the hobby, but that’s mostly because living constantly burnt out doesn’t leave you with a whole lot of energy to put more love and labour into dolls. 

I’ve decided to donate Mina’s shell to a friend, as she’s looking to try to hobby, and I had no luck selling her. So with some luck there may yet be photos of her in the future with meetups etc. 

Cecil is currently on hold, I had broken my dremel and currently am a little scared to resume the double jointing project.

Kaylar took a very unlucky tumble and busted his cranium! So that was a big scare. His face is intact thank god, but that alone was big enough a nightmare.  I’m just about ready to match the body that was Kei/Cael’s before to his head again, and pray for me that I get the tension better than I did last time. 

I wanna try out some Yo-SD/ 1/6 size soon, once funds allow. I think i’ll start with finally getting one of those Resinsoul Centaur kiddos, they look adorable, I think I’m leaning toward Winter. 

Anyway, Not dead, gonna do my best to keep up the posts once I do things.  Big love, stay safe.

[smallwonderdolls]

Of D Garnet

So, Bluefairy is having a pre-order for a head from a Korean sister company known as “Of D”.  A Google search turned up next to nothing on it, except that it used to market its sculpts via the now-defunct Minoruworld.  I have never heard of the company before, but then I did absent myself from the hobby for about a decade, and it may have been more active during that period.

Garnet is apparently a 5″ head with a 6.4cm neck circumference, originally designed to go on a slender/ mature 32cm body. o_O I’m finding this a little hard to wrap my head around (no pun intended), as that neck size is around the same as my various Yo-SD-sized heads, which are all about 6.5″ to 7″ in size.  

Since I don’t care for mature-style bodies, what body would I even put this head on?  It ought to be shorter than my existing Yo-SD bodies, since the head is a full inch smaller, but with a similar neck size....  

Any suggestions would be appreciated!  I really like this head as it reminds me very much of the classic Angelregion Little Fair and Bluefairy aesthetic, but in an interesting new size~

(Random Shiina pic for your trouble:

[a-small-tired-lonely-potato]

Y'all... The amount of time this one took me is... painful to think about... But I think it turned out.

Diane, The Kind Wanderer.

[resinandredhair]

Gotcha! by Amber Kyou Via Flickr: It snowed, that means its time for a dolly snowball fight! Right?! Dolls are Nyx is a 5stardoll Aiden Rum is a fairyland halloween event head in a 5Stardoll body

[dolljunk]

Here's my custom Lefou doll with a fully custom sculpted head, heavily altered Yo-SD sized clone doll body and fully custom fitted clothing. I never thought I would have made a Lefou doll but when inspiration strikes it works for ya. For his clothes they're completely hand sewn. Since I have really messy stitching I've made every piece fully lined since it hides my poor stitching. If you want do the same, I usually cut out identical pieces for the lining, then have the pieces right sides together and stitch only the hemmed edges first. Then flip it right side out (through one of the seam edges) and assemble the pieces normally. It's not the neatest trick in the book but I rather have zero visible hemming stitches and super messy seams than properly finished pieces but with messy hand stitched hems since I'm not a seamstress. I definitely use this trick if I have a tricky neck line or need a very specific shape hemmed. If you're doing it for a bodice edge I would use tulle or netting as lining to minimise bulk. Not my best handiwork but finishing off his look with this velvet ribbon and gold beads helps brings it all together in my opinion.

[dollsonmain]

pfff tiny  nono

[anika-ann]

Maybe (Honey)

Type: College AU, student!reader, civilian!Steve

Pairing: Andy Barber x reader (temp), Steve Rogers x reader (estab)

Word count: 6600 (here we go again)

Summary:

You and your boyfriend Steve love each other; but money’s tight. You found an unorthodox solution and decide to go through with it. Without Steve’s knowledge.   

Enter a very specific agency and Andy Barber.

A/N: I have no idea what I’m doing, but this fic is meant for donutloverxo’s sugary challenge.

Also, this work of fiction is not meant to judge anyone. I repeat – it is not meant to judge anyone or imply that SD-SB relationships or using your body as a tool is absolutely inacceptable. We respect people’s choices here.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, dub-con, morally grey, mention of cheating, cheating, praise kink, masturbation, bit of cumplay, angst, onset of a panic attack, heavy self-depreciation, eh… ooc Andy(?), rather negative (and totally inaccurate) description of SD agencies and relationships

Your index finger hovered over the button, teeth sinking into your lower lip with anxiety.

This is a terrible idea.

To be fair, Nat, your bestie for better and for worse, agreed. Then again, she had also been the one to suggest you went for it and was chilling in the nearby bed while you filled out the form, knowing what you were doing and not stopping you, so… you guessed it couldn’t be that bad of an idea.

Saying yes to this question however, probably was.

Sexual intercourse (PIV): Yes – Maybe – No

Considering you had a boyfriend, the answer should be straightforward NO.

Then again, Steve was a great part of the reason why you were signing up for this stupid app in the first place.

Ever since the wonderful birthday dinner at your family’s house, you were… not necessarily struggling with finances, but knowing you had three last months before your father cut you off his support made you already save money for the rainier days. It sucked, likely because you were maybe trying too hard. But your dad said you were a big girl now. And as the good father he was, he promised to send you the usual payment for three more months, because such a sudden change to your budget would be brutal.

Especially since you and Steve moved in together a month before that. Steve was finishing his PhD. at the university and you, being a student with only part-time job yourself, weren’t exactly great contributor to your budget.

It wasn’t that you father had been showering you with enough money to lead life in luxury, but it had been enough to get by okay. Now, you and Steve were trying to save for food – which was a horrible idea considering his body built –, for take-away coffee, wearing clothes that had seen better days just so you didn’t have to buy new ones and--- you hated seeing Steve like that. The food part was the worst, the most visible.

The night you learned about your father cutting you off, you took it as a champ, accepting it as a fact and continuing the conversation as if nothing significant happened. Later that night, Steve held you close to comfort you, assuring you it changed nothing about your relationship and that you were his everything. That night you made a silly suggestion.

“…you can’t exactly sell me to put food to your mouth--- well, technically-“

At that time, Steve’s answer was a very harsh no, and you apologized for talking stupid. Two months later, here you were.

Secretly filling out a form for a sugar daddy agency.

Natasha helped you pick, claiming this one was extremely discreet, as she knew from her cousin who had been using it for almost two years and apparently said she didn’t have a reason to complain once. In addition, there was no pressure on signing a contract until the fifth meeting and yet, the men committed themselves to paying certain sum of money for the meetings slash dates alone. No strings attached for you. Kinda.

So. It seemed you were about to become a sugar baby. Not for long; just enough to make some savings, an emergency stash so to speak. You didn’t want to fall down the hole and stay for two years like Yelena – you believed the money would be addictive. And which would be worse, Steve would find out.

Steve could never ever find out. It felt like you were cheating on him already.

You wouldn’t cheat on Steve. Ever. You loved him with all your heart and soul and he was the kindest man you had ever met. Incidentally, he was also the hottest one, smartest one and sweetest one and the second funniest one; in that aspect, he came close after Bucky, his hysterical best friend.

Steve had picture in a damn dictionary next to the words ‘perfect boyfriend’. Which was why you should just click on the damn no, because there was no way you let any other man inside you. The mere idea made you physically sick.

“You’re thinking too loud,” Natasha remarked next to your ear and you jumped in your seat with a startled yelp, your heart nearly giving out.

“Jesus, Nat! What the hell-!“

“Girl. That’s a no. You have Steve. Or can you like… imagine doing it?”

Jesus fuck, how did she know exactly what the train of your thought was?!

“You’re right,” you said, shaking your head instantly, finally settling on no. Moving to another question however, you bit your cheek. “But the chances are higher that someone will pick me, right? If I say yes?”

The silence that fell on the room was solemn, Natasha’s hand reaching out and pushing your shoulder to force you to look at her. Her eyes were wide, concerned, disapproval written all over her face.

“Yes. And it will also mean that they will want you to sleep with them. And I mean sleep with them. Bang you into the damn wall and make you like it, or make you pretend you like it. Is that what you want?”

No. Absolutely not. Your stomach turned over at the idea.

You were all for being fucked into a wall. By your boyfriend. Your amazing, wonderful boyfriend, who would have his heart broken if he ever found out. Which would probably happen, because you wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye and just confessed to him.

And that would be the end of your relationship – you couldn’t have that under any circumstance.

Then again, how long would you even be able to keep this extra part-time job secret anyway? You needed as much as money as you could in a short period of time-

“That’s my girl. Leave the no.“

“But it will get me more money too, right? Faster? I don’t look to make a fortune, Nat, I just--- a few nights to have an extra money for the worst-case scenarios and… then I’ll be done with it,” you explained, trying to convince her as much as yourself.

Maybe… maybe?

“This is an awful idea. It’s fucking terrible, hun. You don’t wanna go down that road,” Nat argued, hiding her anger at you for even considering the option behind a soft frown.

“Others did.”

She sighed. “Yes. But a) you are a sweet loyal person who totally needs a connection to sleep with someone and b) there’s this little detail that you have a damn boyfriend.”

You shook your head and quickly changed your answer to ‘maybe’ at least. Natasha gave a hiss in warning.

“It’s not yes!” you protested, instantly on the defensive. “Maybe I’ll luck out. I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. Except for the fact that I love Steve and watching him ruin himself is--- that’s not gonna work. I’m choosing the maybe for him. For us.”

“I still hate it,” your friend muttered, but yielded. “If this is gonna ruin my OTP, I’m fucking firing you as my best friend.”

You mouth fell open in shock, feeling the mental blow deep in your stomach as if she actually hit you. She would—after you’d-

“Okay, I wouldn’t, I’d be there to give you a shoulder to cry on, ‘cause I’m with you till the end of the line or whatever, but--- just… Steve’s the guy, okay? You have this… puppy love going on. You’re gonna marry him one day and have two little carbon copies of you running around, white picket fence in the suburbs and all that. Don’t mess this up, hun,” Natasha whispered, deadly serious, just a hint of a smile playing in the corner of her mouth. “Don’t forget that his stomach might be protesting, but he’d withstand it for years for you and his heart would be happy. He’s crazy about you.”

You stared at your best friend, few tears forming in your eyes, warmth settling around your heart, because you knew she was telling you the truth. In a really cheesy way, but the truth nevertheless.

“You write those yourself?” you teased her lightly and she playfully slapped your shoulder, rolling her eyes. “Thank you, Nat. Believe me – I can’t lose Steve. And I won’t.”

You should have known you’d be eating your words in less than a week later.

Upon entering the restaurant and having the hostess lead you towards the private room, you were certain this was your punishment.

Because sitting at the table – with white cloth and everything, because this was a high-brow restaurant, you had had to at least try to dress accordingly to that – was Steve. You froze in the doorway, entirely deaf to the what the woman said to you before she left.

Your gut twisted in panic, heart pounding in your chest. This wasn’t happening. How could it--- had Nat told him? Was this a set-up? Or was Steve in the app? Impossible. But then how was this possible?!

Because it was happening. Steve was sitting at the table, expensively looking suit, fluffy hair and beard--- and your lips parted in shock when you looked at him; truly looked at him.

His hair was an inch shorter and a shade darker. He filled the suit well, but his shoulders were a little less square than you were used to; where Steve appeared a bit like a bodybuilder, this man was more like… athletic.

It wasn’t Steve. This man just looked like could as well be his twin.

You had no idea what to do.

On one hand, this was clearly a punishment, an all-night reminder that you had a boyfriend who loved you and currently believed you were having a fun girls’ night with your bestie. On the other hand, maybe you could make this work. Your nerves had been getting the best of you, still were now, but perhaps seeing a familiar face would help?

Fuck, this was so ironic. Maybe you should just leave. Or walk straight towards the table, tell the man you were sorry, but you couldn’t do this. He looked like Steve; surely he was equally nice? Okay, probably not, but at least something of him--

It was the exact moment Steve’s twin raised his gaze from his phone, scanning the room— and spotting you standing in the doorway like a dumbass.

Apparently not concerned by your hesitance, his lips curled in a soft smile and he rose to his feet, approaching you with measured steps. He was slightly shorter than Steve too; and he had a few more lines around his eyes.

“Good evening, miss,” he offered in levelled voice, causing you to gulp and finally unfreeze. You tried to smile and likely failed as you returned the greeting politely.

He had kind eyes; and despite the low-lit intimate setting of the private room, you could tell his irises were also a different shade from Steve’s. Despite the jab of guilt at remembering Steve again, you made a quick choice.

Extending your hand, you introduced yourself – with your previously chosen fake name, obviously.

The man gently grasped your hand, faking a kiss to its back. Oh no. He was being a gentleman. That was… you weren’t certain whether you liked it or not.

“Pleasure to meet you. Call me Andy. Shall we sit?”

And you did. You let him lead you to the table as if you weren’t in control of your body anymore, allowed him to pull the chair out for you and hand you the wine list while he seated himself.

Eyes skimming the list of names you barely ever heard of – with no price quoted –, your gaze flickered over the top of the menu to your companion and swiftly returned as he caught you.

You might as well say you caught him watching you, smiling with one corner of his lips higher, but unlike you, he didn’t shy away from it, quiet confidence and an air of power surrounding him.

You wondered if he knew how out of your element you were.

And you wondered, whether the knot forming in your stomach was guilt or a flicker of excitement.

Listening to Andy talking, you soon realized he also had a different manner of speaking. There was a lilt to his voice, something about the colour you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

You learned things about him. That he was here for a week on a business trip, but also took whatever chance he could get to relax and enjoy the city – you did not miss the meaningful once-over he gave you – that he was an attorney, he came from Boston, enjoyed swimming and always wanted a dog.

Question was, how much of that was true. You weren’t a good liar, but you alternated what you could anyway. Andy now knew what your major was, but was told a fake minor. You picked a city close to your home, but not your hometown and complained about the winters there. Only one of the three hobbies you shared were legit something you enjoyed.

If Andy saw through the lies, he didn’t mention it. Why would he? Hell, he didn’t even know your real name and you probably didn’t know his, not yet at least. God knew if you guessed his age correctly, thinking he was in his late thirties; you didn’t want to think about it.

What you did learn and knew was true was that he had a great taste in restaurants – you legit had a small foodgasm – and that he was flirty. He complimented you several times and every time he did, you felt both pleased and incredibly guilty. During the whole meal, there was a battle raging inside you, gradually calming down as Andy’s resemblance to Steve put you at ease; you were a mediocre liar if even, but you could lie to yourself just fine. Or it could have been the wine.

“Listen, Kendra… I have a room few floors up. Would you like it to move this evening there?”

Your heart stopped in your chest before kicking in in a feverish pace, hammering against your ribcage. Your head was suddenly spinning.

Andy cocked his head to side, studying you, before an inviting smile spread his lips.

“We don’t have to, of course. But rest assured if we go, it will not stay unrewarded.”

You nearly choked on your spit, squeezing your eyes shut. The way he phrased it was almost respectful – but also very telling.

There was no describing the shame settling deep in your gut; then again, this was what you wanted. More money. And if you had to go upstairs for it… well. At least Andy seemed nice enough. He reminded you of Steve – which was both a blessing and a curse – he was relatively young compared to what you had imagined the man you’d be meeting would be. He was undeniably attractive and he clearly didn’t aim to make you feel cheap… not more than strictly necessary.

As far as you were concerned, you had also chosen ‘maybe’ with other questions; for all you knew, this could end up in a blowjob and you thought… maybe that would fly. You could do that, maybe--- forcing your eyes open, you found Andy observing you quietly, patiently waiting for your decision.

He was giving you a choice, which alone was a good sign – he wasn’t an asshole.

Or it could just be an act.

The reality might be that the moment the hotel room door clicked shut, he’d push you against the wall face-first and took whatever he wanted.

As his eyes never left you, patient but shamelessly appreciative of your looks, you took a deep breath and decided that no – Andy wasn’t heartless. He wasn’t some monster. The aura of power and confidence had one more shade to it: protectiveness.

It was ridiculous to think such of a man who was paying you to be here, but… it was the impression you got of him.

“A-alright,” you stuttered awkwardly, earning a wide smile from him, a twinkle of excitement in his irises.

“They’ll add the food and drinks to my bill. Let’s go.”

As the numbers of the floors climbed, you felt your stomach gradually sinking – and you were more and more doubtful about your decision. You weren’t ready for this. At all. Natasha was right – you needed connection… a true connection.

And as nice as Andy was trying to be about this whole thing, you couldn’t— you felt so filthy for just sharing an elevator ride with this stranger.

Entering the room only solidified the ugly feeling in your gut and the moment the room door shut behind you, Andy didn’t slam you against the wall, no. Instead, you turned to him, feeling blood having drained from your face and yet pumping in your temples.

“I’m sorry. I can’t—I should go,” you blurted out, a slight tremble to your voice and to your hands.

It was a mistake, coming up here.

This whole thing was a mistake-

To your shock, no shouting came. No anger, period. Just a disappointed sigh and that little sound made your rising panic settle, curiosity getting the best of you as you eyed the gorgeous man in front of you.

What was he even doing in a sugar daddy agency? It wasn’t like he could have a lack of female attention – or male for that matter – because he was handsome as hell and apparently rich.

“I’m not gonna stop you. I understand. I can imagine first times in such position are hard,” he explained his sentiment, causing your lips to part in surprise and a smudge of shame.

That obvious you were, huh?

“How can you tell?” you asked almost soundlessly, a huge lump growing your throat. All of sudden, you also felt terrible for disappointing him.

He only shrugged in response, a hint of a smile in one corner of his lips, almost concealed by his beard.

“I’m an attorney, honey. I have to be good at reading people.”

For the briefest moment, you acknowledged the flutter in your lower belly at the sugar-sweet endearment rolling off his tongue. Honey. And then it was gone, reality breaking through again along with the fresh guilt.

“I’m sorry. You can—you don’t have to pay the money to the agency-“

“That’s not how this works, honey,” he corrected you with a drop of patronizing, which you found yourself …. not hating. Here it was again… honey.

You wished he’d stop saying it. And that he’d the slow steps towards you as well.

“I--- I don’t know then, how to… like compensate you, I just--- I can’t I’m sorry, I’m-“ you stumbled over your words, the shame grinding deeper and deeper and-

“You have a boyfriend,” he whispered in realization, eyes widening and by some strange game of lights darkening as well, turning into a raging ocean.

“…yes. I’m sorry for all this, I-“

“Oh honey,” Andy shook his head gently as he continued to approach you, voice uncharacteristically soft for a situation you two found yourself in. “Don’t be. He’s a lucky guy, your boyfriend. I wish my ex-wife had been so faithful.”

Your gaze automatically flickered to the empty space on his left hand. Jesus. “Oh. Uhm, sorry.”

That explained a thing or two.

His irises were ablaze, watching your every move, every breath, every involuntary shiver under his undivided attention. And then… then he smiled. Or maybe it was a smirk. You weren’t sure. You just knew it got harder to breathe and he was nothing like Steve--- fuck, Steve, you needed to get the fuck out of here-

“You’re adorable. What a pure soul. Such a good girl.”

The jolt the endearment sent up your spine was impossible to ignore, causing you to shudder. Andy’s smile widened, the gap between you thinning.

“You like that, don’t you?” he queried, gently and yet. Yet it made the coil in your belly swirl and burn, hair stand on end as his aura earned a new tone – a predatory one, but at the same time… tempting. No! That was wrong! You weren’t here of your own will, not really- “You like being a good girl, don’t you?”

You didn’t realize you were backed into a wall until your back literally hit it, leaving no more space for your retreat. Andy lifted his hand, agonizingly slowly – and still, you couldn’t seem to back away from the touch you knew was coming.

Maybe… maybe the attraction wasn’t a bad thing? You still wouldn’t sleep with him, your mind wasn’t that foggy, but— you could still earn some more money and not entirely suffer for it?

The pad of his thumb was warm and soft as it skimmed over your jaw, brushing your lower lip, where it lingered, pulling it down with a minute pressure.

Besides the rise of your chest with your rapid breathing, you couldn’t make yourself to move an inch, hypnotized by the blue of his irises disappearing, the blue that should be having a drop of green in it, because you were Steve’s, you loved Steve and you were doing this for him and for your and his future.

And yet, despite everything, you couldn’t deny that there was a warm slick gathering in your underwear, heat pooling in your core and it had everything to do with the man touching you now.

“Oh honey… so pretty, so good, so… immaculate. Jesus, you have any idea how hot that is, makes me want to drag you through the mud I am…”

His free hand fell to your hip, squeezing lightly as if to examine your reaction. Swallowing against the sudden dry sensation in your throat, you allowed yourself to sink into the heat of his palm rather than avoid the touch.

A small whimper escaped your lips as his chest pressed against yours next, effectively trapping you; not necessarily forcefully, but enough to make it count. Enough to make you want more; and enough to make you want to flee.

Shit, everything was so confusing and your heart was wild in your ribcage and you couldn’t tell anymore if it raced because Andy was a ridiculously attractive man showing very evident interest, his warmth seeping into you, his cologne making your head swim--- or if it was fear, the knot you felt tighten in your belly urging you to run before this got to places he wouldn’t let you escape from.

“Stop me, honey,” he whispered, voice low and husky, hot breath fanning over your face, the only true warning you got.

And then his face was so close you couldn’t bear looking at him anymore, letting your eyelids flutter shut. His lips were slightly chapped as they brushed yours, testing the waters before pushing further. He smelled different than you were used to – but the rough sensation of his beard against your skin was familiar; painfully so.

You didn’t stop him. You didn’t back out. You didn’t respond to his advances right away either, torn—because you found yourself liking this. And that was terribly, terribly wrong. Wasn’t it?

Your breath caught in your throat as the surprisingly hard lines of his body pressed against your yours, pushing you into the wall. You felt the rumble in his chest as he hummed and it finally made you act. Breathing him in, you forced yourself to kiss back.

His response was immediate. His hand ran up your waist, fingers squeezing your ribs just under your breasts, drawing a startled sound from your lips, one he instantly swallowed, seizing the opportunity to push past the seam of your lips. You felt your fingertips tingle as his tongue met yours, swirling and caressing you expertly, your thighs squeezing on instinct as you felt the hot pulse in your core.

“Atta girl,” he praised you softly, giving you a second to breathe before he dived back in, hips grinding into yours and offering you a taste of what was he hiding in those dress pants of his. You gasped as you felt him hard against your thigh, startled and much to your dismay, aroused.

Before you could decide which was winning, he wedged his knee between yours, the defined muscles of thigh pressing against your core, one of his hands gripping your hip to lead your movement. Your head spun as he guided you to grind against him, the friction delicious as was his taste on your tongue.

His other hand cupped your breast over the thin fabric of your dress and bra, dextrous fingers finding your hard nipple to roll it between them. An involuntary moan escaped you, your hips bucking of their own volition. Distantly, you were aware of the smile against your throat as your lips were set free, his assault on your senses continued above the crook of your neck.

“Wanna see you come, pretty girl,“ he muttered, teeth playfully nipping on your skin and you gasped, the words and the slightly unfamiliar voice saying them like a bucket of ice-cold water, instantly clearing the fog of arousal.

You flattened your hands against his chest – when had they gripped his suit jacket? – pushing as you shook your head, eyes snapping open.

“No- I--- I can’t, I-“

Andy moved back an inch, giving you a minute room to breathe, dark eyes boring into yours as you left tears of shame, confusion and frustration pooling in them.

His index finger cut off your protests as it landed on your lips and for the first time tonight, you truly felt fear. He was built – he was much stronger than you. If he pleased, he could have you if any way he wanted and to him, even if you tried to resist, it would be like you never put up a fight. His eyes were hungry, want, need written all over his face and you felt your knees give out.

He caught you; not with brutal force to trap you, but to support you, that damn finger on your lips stroking the kiss-swollen flesh.

“Shh…” he hushed you, moving his fingers to tuck a few loose strands of hair behind your ear. “Shhhh, not like that, honey, I can see you wouldn’t let me.”

You shivered, confusion peaking as he kept observing you as if he was drinking you in; every detail, the no doubt messed up make-up, glassy eyes, the single tear running down your cheek. You felt physically ill and yet—you couldn’t deny the arousal smouldering somewhere inside you, waiting to be revived.

“I don’t--- I don’t understand-“ you whispered, the sound pathetic to your own ears.

Andy closed his eyes, clenching his jaw, the hands on you curling into fists. For a moment, he looked like he was in pain – and few seconds later, his eyes seemed even darker as they drilled into yours.

“So sweet, Christ, I could eat you up…” he sighed and you had no doubt in your mind that he could. “I have an offer, honey. Listening?”

Hesitating for a few breaths, you nodded. A smirk curled Andy’s lips, the pads of his fingers stroking the hollow of your throat, chasing the fear away and stoking the fire inside you instead.

“You’re gonna get on that ridiculously expensive bed and spread your legs, pretty girl.” Where did all the oxygen go, Jesus Christ? “You’ll let me see all of you, maybe touch a bit, within limits. And you’re gonna give me a real nice show. How does that sound? Can you be a good girl and come on your fingers?”

It only took you moments to weight your options – as far as you were concerned, this one was the most plausible way to satisfy you both. The cleanest way.

“Yes. Yes, I can.”

“That’s my girl.”

Except you weren’t. You were another man’s girl, but as he led you to the bed, tugging impatiently at your hand and yet not manhandling you, it was so easy to give in.

“Let me,” he hushed you as you reached for the back zipper of your dress and you obediently let your hands fall, reminding yourself to breathe when he brushed your hair out of the way, pulling as the zipper and tugging it open only half way, pushing one of the straps down your shoulder to reveal your bra – leaving you only half exposed. “Colour suits you. Leave in on like this.”

Nodding automatically, you earned a kiss to your bare shoulder, a muttered praise which dampened your underwear.

“Lie down, honey.”

And you did, suddenly excited fingers tucking the tight skirt up your legs of their own volition, revealing your lacy panties, drawing a guttural moan from Andy.

He was watching you, intense gaze never leaving the flimsy piece of fabric as he undid his belt.

The clank of the buckle startled you, because he had said he wouldn’t--- but he explained before you could question it and back out.

“Gotta take advantage of buying tickets to the front row,” he remarked suggestively, the reminder of relatively easy money making you spring into action and swallow the shame that climbed up your throat.  

Biting down on your lip, you hooked your fingers in your underwear and shuffled it down your legs just as he pulled out his cock – and your core clenched around nothing at the intimidating and tempting sight. He was big. Like, really big, but also kinda magnificent, the angry red tip with a glistening drops of precum sending fresh surge of arousal between your legs.

His lips parted as he stroked himself, leaving you helpless to do anything but feast your eyes. No matter the circumstance, there was no denying this man was insanely attractive and seeing him give himself some needed attention was an erotic sight. It was familiar too – he really was painfully reminding you of Steve.

“Touch yourself, honey.”

Closing your eyes and dipping your middle finger into your slick, yours legs jolted a bit – you craved to release the building tension more than you were willing to admit. Drawing a line up to your aching clit, a soft moan escaped you. It felt so good. And until the mattress next to you sunk, it was easy to forget you were being watched – but upon that reminder, a light brush of hand on your thigh, your hips only bucked as the coil in your belly tightened.

“That’s a good girl. Show me how sensitive you are, how much you need it, honey,” he whispered to your ear, the unmistakable rustle of fabric and the lilt of his voice telling you he was enjoying the view indeed.

It was so easy to get lost in the sensations, your own hand working you up, bigger hand occasionally skimming over your breasts, other times squeezing whenever it could reach – except for where your own hand was and it was both welcomed and driving you crazy with need. He guided your hand at some point, giving you direction to speed up, to sink deeper, “use at least two fingers, honey, to make up for one of mine”, to play with your clit.

With three fingers sunk deep in your cunt, speeding up your movements, the squelchy sounds both embarrassing and insanely erotic, you could hear him tip over the edge, few drops of his seed painting your thigh, his breaths harsh and quick, a guttural moan escaping his lips.

“So fucking pretty, honey, doing so good,” he praised you breathlessly and despite yourself, your gaze found him, his fingers still wrapped around his cock, stroking to drag his pleasure out. “Come, for me, honey. Soak your fingers and gimme a taste.”

All air was punched out of your lungs at his words and you felt the coil in your belly snap, sending you into a spiral of pleasure, your hips grinding on your fingers as the familiar intense heat flooded your veins, making your head swim.

“Gorgeous.”

The single word reached from distance as you were coming from your high, temples pulsing with the blissful rush. As you ceased your movements, body turning limp, he snatched your hand wet with your juices--- the next thing you felt was the tip of his tongue swirling around your fingers, humming appreciatively at your taste.

It was when the reality set in and your hand automatically curled into a lose fist, weakly trying to earn freedom. He licked a few more times before he let go, giving enough time to your panic to settle in.

Oh fuck this just happened. You just--- you- oh no. Oh fuck.

“You did wonderful, honey. Worth every fucking penny…”

Feeling tears gathering in your eyes, the bliss disappearing as quickly as it came, you felt your stomach turn as you tried to find your voice. “A-Andy, please, I-“

His arm pulled you to him, loosely embracing you and all you could do was to let him, too busy focusing on your breathing, tears uncontrollably rolling down your cheeks, soothed by a rough scratch of his beard and soft kiss to your jaw.  

“Hush, honey, none of that,” he whispered, probably to coax you. It had zero effect as your shoulders shook with the effort to supress your sobs. “You did so good. Seeing you fall apart, even if it wasn’t entirely for me… what a fucking pretty sight. Now give me one more kiss and I’ll take you home.”

“Uhm, dorms, I’m not-“ you babbled illogically, feeling his smile against our skin.

“Right. Dorms. Now be a good girl, kiss me like you mean it.”

He didn’t ask permission or requested it, taking your mouth mercilessly, forcing your own taste into your mouth. His fingers sunk into the cooling drops on top of your thigh, gathering his spent and swiftly pushing the pad of his forefinger past your entrance. He groaned in response to your gasp at the intrusion, your hips moving on instinct despite the sensitivity and his perverted actions.

“Oh, honey, the things I’d do to you…”

“N-no, please-“ you whimpered pathetically, fighting your body reaction as fresh tears gathered in your eyes.

His finger disappeared with a telling wet sound and he pecked your lips. “I know, honey. I know. Maybe next time you’ll let me. Maybe next time…”

He rose to his feet, materializing a packet of tissues from god knew where, wordlessly saying to clean yourself up. You did. Gratefully. His words echoed in your skull; a wish, a promise.

Maybe. Next time.

“I’ll take you home now,” he announced and dropped a kiss to your hairline.

All you could do was take the affection and nod, strange numbness sneaking up your veins from your fingertips, up your limbs and finally reaching your chest and head.

Once you cleaned up, you redressed on autopilot, feeling something stir inside you as put on the wet panties – and the flicker of emotion was nothing pleasant. Fortunately, it died quickly; replaced by the blissful static short-circuiting your brain and cutting it off from any emotion.

You welcomed that Andy didn’t talk in the car. You could tell he was watching you as the city lights blurred behind the windshield, causing your eyes to burn; but he stayed quiet. Not even a radio was on; or maybe you just tuned it out, you weren’t sure.

You just knew that his hand brushed yours as he dropped you off with gentle, almost concerned goodbye which you half-heartedly returned, the one word surprisingly hard to push up your throat with the lump that was forming there ever since you climbed into his car.

Natasha was awake to welcome you; you didn’t even have to ring her to unlock the room for you. She just opened the door and took one look at you--- and she pulled you inside, the door clicking shut just a second before your knees buckled and you leaned onto the wall, choking on a sob.

True to her word, Nat coaxed you into getting to bed and then gave you the promised shoulder to cry on. And fuck did you cry. Rivers. Your breaths were coming out short, tightness in your chest and nausea rising up your throat as the sobs shook your body, trembling hands gripping Natasha’s t-shirt like a lifeline. She didn’t speak besides uttering few empty comforting words.

Eventually, it lulled to restless sleep.

It didn’t take long for you to wake up with a startle, pillow damp from your tears, your pyjama – not that you remembered Natasha forcing you to change – soaked in your sweat. The ugly feeling was still sitting in your stomach, constricting your ribcage and you knew there was only one way out; even if it was the way deeper to the pit.

Reaching out for your phone on the nightstand, you dialled the only number that could be your salvation. Your heart pounded in your chest painfully in anticipation as your wordlessly prayed he picked up.

“Sweetheart?” Steve’s voice reached your ears; rough from sleep, the endearment more confusion than anything else.

It washed over you like a tide wave, calming – and covering you like a heavy blanket, weighting you down as it quickly felt yourself sinking into it and drowning in it instead.

You sputtered a noise, scratchy in your throat, something resembling a sob and a whine and Steve’s concerned voice called your name, demanding what was going on.

Fresh tears streaming down your cheeks and you covered your mouth just in case another of those horrible sounds were about spill from your lips.

“Sweetheart? Please, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

Everything. I am. I was so so wrong. I was so bad.

Blinking away your tears as you blindly stared on the dark ceiling, you coaxed yourself into taking a deep breath, feeling your lower lip wobbling – as if you were a damn child.

Then again, with how unable you had been to see how today would turn out, you might as well be. A child. Inexperienced. Pure soul, so immaculate, Andy’s voice echoed in your brain and it made you feel everything but that.

You felt filthy; dragged through the mud your potential sugar daddy claimed he was, but that wasn’t on him. That was on you.

And you never had been more disgusted with yourself.

Steve kept asking what happened, begging you to talk to him and finally, you managed to form words.

“I—Steve,” your voice broke on his name and you had to take a breath again so you wouldn’t just go back to the unstoppable sobbing. “I did so-something ter-terrible.” You sobbed anyway as the idea of your next words being true sent you into a spiral of despair, because fuck, you couldn’t lose him. “And I’m--- scared that you’ll n-n-never f-for-forgive me.”

“Sweetheart?”

Wiping at your nose and biting your cheek at his fearful tone, you shuddered before continuing. The ominous silence stretched.

“I’m so s-sorry. I- I did it for us. I… I swear that I did--- did it for us.”

Maybe if you said it enough times, you’d make up for the fact that for a moment, it felt really good to fall apart in front of another man in much sweeter way than you were falling apart now.

Maybe.

But for now, after you told Steve everything, the dial tone as the call disconnected was all you had. You clutched the pillow soaked in your own tears, choking on a sob and prayed to all saints and Gods you knew that Steve’s kind heart had enough forgiveness for your stupid ass. If there was one person on this whole damn planet who could forgive for what you did, you thought it would be him.

…maybe.

Steve Rogers masterlist

Mics characters masterlist

Lovely divider by whimsicalrogers​

So… my first fic where I kinda hate the reader? Or at least I’m a lot like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! I don’t know. Cheat fics are… yeah, cheating is a big BIG no-no for me, so I’m not sure where this came from and if it turned out okay.

Bet you didn’t expect that much angst. I like to think she never met Andy again and that they figured stuff out with Steve – they went through a rough patch, but made it work. But hey, if you want, you can imagine entirely something else.  *smirk smirk*

Also, FYI, I lost one night’s sleep, because of the moral hangover I felt with the reader. So I hope it was worth it and at least one person liked this.

Anyway. Thank you for reading!

P.S. sorry for those who feel baited by the sneak peek with Steve’s gif. That was my imaginary Steve finding out about Andy Barber, plotting murder with Bucky, because someone touched his girl. Fuck the circumstance.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

we are in a hobby where even YO-SDs usually have a bit of anatomy going on, and you think the guy with a body pillow is the suspicious one? try explaining that to anyone who doesn't already collect dolls, i guarantee they'll think you're the one trying to hide something. outside of the hobby bubble we are all the creepy fuckers collecting dolls (children's toys!) with genitals, and no amount of justification will make that defensible in their eyes. don't throw stones in glass houses.

~Anonymous

[bjdinfo]

Obscure, Rare, or Lesser Known BJD Resin Doll Companies and Independent Creators

Some artists and shops I know of and think you should too! (Mostly from Korea and China.)

Last updated April 2022.

ARK Doll (@arkdoll_bjdclub on Instagram): Two handsome 70cm guys (comparable to SSDF/“strong uncle” size), carried by dealer Legend Doll for overseas sale, as written on the creator’s Instagram.

Artito Doll (@artitodoll on Instagram, @ArtiTogeun on Twitter): Independent doll artist from South Korea, due to release their first sculpt in June of 2022.

Atelier LIMO: A fine arts brand operated by doll company Little Monica in Korea, they sell heads created by student or apprentice sculptors, either in SD or MSD size.

ATStudio/Hook / 哈克 (cap.hook0101 on Instagram): Maker of handsome Idealian-sized guy heads and a new 74cm body which were sold in limited releases and I think at doll events? Some may be familiar with their Baker sculpt, or perhaps Tengo, but they seem to be quite elusive. Collaborated with Lucaille (IG mewoh.l_66) featuring gorgeous lace-front wigs. Update: New Baker on the M74 body can be pre-ordered through Lucaille!

BNBDoll: Cute guys on a 65cm body, with rounded, youthful features reminiscent of Migidoll.

Bodoll: 1/3 heads and 1/6-scale mature minis, all of which seem to be sold on a preorder basis.

Capsule Sculpt Etsy (inausg on Instagram): A Taiwanese artist who sculpts both traditionally and digitally. Their 1/3 girl head Eva, available for a limited time, reflects the artistry of their craft, with a dreamy expression and rounded cheeks that bring to mind an antique porcelain doll.

Devotion Doll (6anli on Instagram): Delicate sculpts that fit 60-65cm bodies, sold in limited sales periods. Their Five Senses collection reflects how “Through our eyes, skin, tongue, nose and ears, we feel and we live”. Sense and Palate were previously released, with future plans for Vision, Aroma, Hearken and Caress.

Dollits: Currently offering 43cm girls, formerly 1/6 Yo-SD and 70cm EID-range size sculpts and bodies.

Dreaming Doll: Girl and boy dolls in multiple different sizes.

Fantasia Doll/Uidoll: Their original claim to fame was their Elder line, with a male and female body in the same size range as Iplehouse EID. After closing down for at least a few years, they returned with new bodies in more conventional sizes in the 60cm range.

Fulled Heaven x Sealed Heaven by R.Dean (rdean_zu on Instagram): A popular faceup artist turned doll sculptor, with four big Idealian75-size guy heads so far and plans for smaller versions in the future. Also makes eyes under the brand name of Ash in Noon.

Kana Doll (kana798 on Instagram): A long-time artist in the hobby. Adrian is probably her most popular sculpt. Heads are in SD13~17 range with delicately rounded features and boyish charm.

Illusion Garden (illusiongarden_doll on Instagram): I’d say these dolls fall firmly into the “rare” category most, despite being a bit obscure; their 65cm size boy heads are notoriously hard to get ahold of, even when sending an e-mail order at the exact time and date when pre-orders are open. (I’m totally not bitter after failing for consecutive years in a row… Maybe it’s just not meant to be!)

IZE Stage (ize_stage on Instagram): Handsome and strong-featured male sculpts that fit larger, 75cm bodies like Soom ID75. Their peach resin is a good match for the Souldoll Tera Zenith body in normal resin.

Jround (@aakik_o on Instagram, jroun_d on Twitter): Headed by Akiko, a multitalented artist who paints faceups and makes eyes in addition to 3D modeling. Their first head, NEO, debuted in April 2022 for a limited time, hopefully with more on the way!

LeMoon (jihong_lemoon on Instagram): Adorable 1/3 60-65cm and 75cm boy heads in Switch resin colors; limited pre-order periods only.

Mazarine Blue Doll (mbluedoll on Instagram): SD head and MSD girl on pre-order.

Mokona Doll (fulfilled by Dearmine, mokona_doll on Instagram): SD-sized heads that were crafted love to have kind and good-natured faces.

Mori 9’s Doll (hierophantmori on Instagram): Has beautiful sculpts created by 3D modeling, with Idealian size Veles and Austaras sold by email lottery. Their older Nanase sculpt (to whom I’ll affectionately refer as “pretty boy with tongue sticking out”) seems to be highly sought after in the Chinese secondhand market. Some of their works were released in collaboration with Universe Doll (Blue Wolf, White Fox), and for a limited time by Doll Family-H (Lu Xian).

MyDolling: Dolls in 24, 31, 42-45 and 53cm sizes, mostly girls, sculpted by South Korean artist Gu Mi Jung, best known for the Zaoll and Narsha lines fulfilled by Dollmore.

Mystery Phoenix: Lovely 66cm girls, often with a distinctly Chinese inspiration/fashion.

NakanaDoll Etsy/Nakana Workshop (nakana_workshop on Instagram) : SD full girl dolls or just the head, and one boy sculpt, charming like the subjects of an oil painting portrait.

PLUTOdolls Etsy: Childlike 1/4 MSD sculpts sold on their original body, both male and female.

Prime/Frame (prime_frame on Twitter, primeframe_bjd on Instagram): Original heads and a few bodies to choose from: 70cm and two 65cm, SD17 range bodies, one male with a slender and less muscular build, and one female with nice defined abs and biceps. All sold on a limited basis. Resin colors are close to Switch.

Pygmalion Doll (pygmalion_doll on Instagram): They offer an array of gorgeous sculpts, mainly for bigger, 70cm bodies, who look like supermodels or pop star idols. Released during certain pre-order periods, they also have the TEIA71 body (Iplehouse EID size) available for purchase.

Redollent (redollent_bjd on Instagram): Original head sculpt and a 65cm body with either female or androgynous features. Resin colors match Switch.

Rosetta Doll (rosettadoll_maker on Instagram): Limited SD-sized boy and girl sculpts in the 60-65cm size range. They don’t seem to get re-released often, if at all, so make sure to preorder before they’re gone!

Rugged Realism (dkeats888.03 on Instagram): An Australia-based sculptor who creates amazing original bodies and sculpts in SD size. Their first series included some ruggedly handsome dudes but unfortunately, it seems they won’t be sold again. There is now a second collection of 65cm gentlemen, “Rites of Passage,” which debuts on May 25, 2022.

Simply Meant to Be (obscure_kind on Instagram) So far one slim MSD boy doll, Dohwee, has been released, with two preorders to date: a whimsical cutie who became quite popular in the Asian communities, to the point it was even recasted, so watch out for cheap sales from random dealers, like some found on eBay.

Sooleedoll/Msdoll: 1/4, MSD girls as a head or full doll, and older 1/3 SD sculpts sold in limited openings.

Souris Etoile (souris_etoile on Instagram): 60-65cm, SD13-17 size single heads, good match for Switch resins. Opened through limited pre-orders only.

Story of (the) Seventh Day (story_of_seventh_day on Instagram) Recently released the ambitious 73cm “Horus” doll, based on imagery of the Egyptian god, with a human and eagle head. Clocking in at a whopping $1,700, with optional parts available at $75 more, he can be purchased from authorized dealer Moonlight BJD in a limited quanty of 100. Their next doll Seth, a counterpart to Horus, is currently in the works.

Theo Doll (fulfilled through Dollmore): The eponymous Theo is an adorable 60cm guy from the same sculptor of the Zaoll girls, Gu Mi Jung. Described as having eyes which are “pensive yet handsome,” with a “natural Asian bodyline” (realistically slim) and an overall impression of being “friendly and congenial.”

Vings (dollvings on Instagram): First rising to prominence as a urethane eye maker, now offering 68-70cm bodies and heads in a variety of different resin colors, great for hybrids. Sold in limited releases, their work can be purchased through the company’s Taobao shop or dealers like newclover-singing and Moonlight BJD House.

WinterRain Studio: Cute 1/3 SD boy sculpts offered on a 60 or 65cm body.

Yicen/Y.Cen / Hivernal Serenade (yicen061 on Instagram; yicen on Flickr): Has released two male sculpts, Chong Lin and Wu Qi, on a 75cm body, fulfilled by Moonlight BJD House. Notable past works include Chi Ye/Chilly and Douglas Winchester (I goofed and put Dean Winchester at first, but that didn’t look right…)

[thorn-amidst-roses]

Sales posts have been posted!

Yo-Tenshi Yuki $300 OBO - https://denofangels.com/threads/250-%E2%80%93-volks-yo-tenshi-yuki-full-doll-ns.838516/

Horrible Cryptid $225 OBO - https://denofangels.com/threads/225-%E2%80%93-volks-unknown-boy-yo-sd-body-unknown-head-full-doll-ns.838512/

Kuroneko Renee $500 OBO - https://denofangels.com/threads/500-%E2%80%93-volks-kuroneko-renee-full-doll-ns.838513/

Bluefairy Emilie $200 OBO - https://denofangels.com/threads/200-%E2%80%93-bluefairy-emilie-full-doll-ns.838515/