#yknow not the ideal option
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I can’t make a new post in the tumblr app BUT if I long hold the app I get the Post/message/need passcode/etc. options and can post from there. ok tumblr thanks great app functionality guys
#vena vents#not art#My internet on my ipad is a BIT better but my internet was generally worse earlier#Iupdated it to ios 18 and it’s helped somewhat??#I do like the customizability of the menus and stuff though#I’ll hardly use that but I like it#if worst comes to worst I can open it on my android tab I use for media but that thing hated tumblr and lags so#yknow not the ideal option
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how many dollars would it take for someone to draw adam and lawrence like this
#saw#adam stanheight#lawrence gordon#tbh hoffman works too. there just has to be a size difference to exaggerate#funny option him doing this with mandy too#yknow in the ideal world where they can be besties and not killer/victim
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i need a lady romance option in a video game that has dark hair and grey streaks in it pls
#fray.txt#yknow like gale#ideally More. and she should have wrinkles#older woman romance option for me pls
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ik bpd akechi is popular but honestly I'm dying on my bipolar + c-ptsd + npd/narcissistic and ocd features for c-ptsd hill
#💖.txt#tbh i am one of those who thinks bpd isnt a useful category and its just ptsd mixed with other stuff#im also very attatched to him being low empathy#the ocd is smth i flip-flop between. i think its more that after shido's palace if he survives#he's going to have MASSIVE issues with holding himself to impossible standards#spends the first month at the shelter panicking that he's an awful person for choosing to stablize himself before going to the police#(i do personally think he turned himself in. the dialogue from the scene at the shelter heavily implies that's his intention)#maruki's ideal reality is that 1. akechi would find joker on xmas eve and 2. he'd get let out early#or yknow. he never killed anyone so it doesnt matter anymore#the npd is just yknow. oh no! by marina intensifies#bipolar is bc call of chaos REALLY reminds me of manic episodes#and inflicting that on people? wanting to make other people experience how everything in your head is suddenly different and it feels like#this is Right and How It Should Be while your destroying your life??? yeah ive wanted to do that#ive always seen call of chaos as a representation of lashing out/acting out in an attempt to make it clear to people#just how *bad* your mental state is. how poorly tethered you are and how desperate you are for help#wanting to hurt others because no one is seeing how hurt you are and it feels like the last option#(i also see him using it in sem 3 as him finally being around people who are okay with seeing that level of pain)#(the thieves dont forgive him ofc but they see how much pain he's in and said thats fucked up. what they did to you is fucked up)#(you have every right to be mad about it. be mad about it with support.)
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Your impulse to believe every last bad thing people say about a guy and then if that guy is victimized by those people or the people who spread the rumors you dont even try to look into if thats even the case, you just assume hes bad by default-- yeah thats incredibly unfair to guys who are victims of abuse.
#so here i am having to heal my trauma on my own bc people think im a bad person. cool.#and then people would use me as an argument point 'this is why men who use guys who are victims of abuse as an argument need#to actually do something to show they care' she said so smugly. knowing those guys wont give that guy any care no matter how#correct she is about sussing them out on their bullshit.#so instead im being given 0 options at all bc both men and women want to use me as an argument jumping off point rather than see#me as a real human right here right now whos suffering and in need of aid.#you're arguing about giving me a place to stay right in front of me. and at the end of the day neither of you actually want to help#create a space for me to heal anyways. im just another talking point to you. left in the dust. left to try to figure out how to heal#myself alone all over again. something I never expected to have to do in feminist spaces- spaces I intentionally entered to get healing#about ANOTHER abuse that happened to be as a kid- though if im honest I never really found healing in such spaces its all kinda just#hating on men for the most part- so truly like the rest of my entire shit life i've had to learn how to heal my trauma all alone. which isn#great nor ideal since on my own im bound to pick up worse coping mechanisms than if I actually got help from others. and lord knows#I have *motions to the scars on my arms* but yknow you'd rather use me as a talking point rather than be what I thought you were-#the last resort I had to maybe actually finally get some actual fucking help with my trauma.#vent#to say im disappointed is an understatement. i'm more just sad at this point. i'm tired of being promised better and then its shit.
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lol you know it's bad when you start going "okay so if I just give up now and fully fail this class, how bad will it really be?"
#damien.txt#answer: not.... that bad? could be worse.#leaves my gpa at like. 3.7. so. that's really not that terrible#but also would be bad no matter what if i went into grad school or something like that#but also i dont even know if ill do that bc the sheer concept feels overwhelming and awful#like...... ngl. im at this point where im like. willing to give up on that lol#im just.... so tired. and i dont have the motivation nor passion to get through grad school yknow?#so. other options would be ideal. perhaps.#but yeah. it's pretty bad#might change it to pass/fail but like. legit can't tell if that's more or less worth. considering im prob going to fail either way#have an academic meeting abt it in like 3 hrs lol but yeah. just having a lot of thoughts#ahahaha academics when you have mental illnesses that are unmedicated is! awful!
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i'm sure fans of other characters can also give you twenty reasons why an original avengers reunion wouldn't work but as a specifically thor-focused fan it is my solemn duty to state that the original avengers movie would be NOTHING without old thor and loki, and, well, marvel shot them like lame horses in 2017 and knockoff gotg characters have been piloting their corpses ever since. and marvel have been digging themselves deeper and deeper into the ragnarok hole for longer than the originals even existed now. EVEN IF marvel recognised the need for the original tone in any hypothetical reunion, i'm not convinced they COULD bring it back at this point. you fucked it kevin. it's gone and it's not coming back.
#space viking tag#they were the heart and soul of that fucking movie and what would they be now? comic relief???#i haven't looked enough into the reunion plans to ascertain whether it's team reunion or cast reunion so idk if loki'd even be involved#(i mean probably not but he IS already resurrected and there are always rumours yknow)#but anyway this still all applies to thor alone. they were all different flavours of hero originally. now he's Tony But Worse#like i'm not even an avengers enthusiast but there's a SPECTRUM you have to respect there's a BALANCE...#thor is a fantasy prince with dramatic ideals and dramatic flaws#steve is an underdog hero with a strong sense of duty and a chip on his shoulder#tony is a loveably* snarky antihero whose antiheroism is mostly just being a dick#natasha is an edgy antihero with a genuinely dark past#and bruce is an unassuming guy who doesn't want to be a hero but has to because the only other option for him is villain#(*or so i hear.)
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Hi sorry for disappearing but uhhh 25ji 👍 (<- not ok)
#rat rambles#sekai posting#its just. the 25ji work friends to real friends arc is hitting hard rn#its like. they may not be the closest compared to some other sekai characters but god would these assholes die for eachother#they care so much. and now that things are truly going to shit its hitting them like a truck#just the scene with kanade and mafuyu. god kanade is trying so hard to put up a strong face for mafuyu and god is it. rough to watch.#in an ideal world smth smth kanade character debelopment thats actually abt her own issues but yknow blah blah blah#Ill save my pissy kanade fan stuff for if they truly drop the ball with her this is the climax of mafuyu arc so its mostly focused on them#also obligitory * that I dont fully think they intended kanade to read that way but Im trying to be optimistic here#anyways holy fuck this event was so fucking good#this is what Ive been waiting for#and I am genuinely so glad they didnt have mafuyu get like. properly mad at their mom just yet.#Im glad that them expressing their feelings is them expressing their absolute Desperation#they dont Want to fight their mom. theh dont Want to see her hurt. despite it all they are desperate to believe that she loves them.#they genuinely loved their mom and in a way they still do#but at the same time they are so so fucking Scared of her#and that fact alone is another reason for their despeeation I think#they dont Want to be scared of her. they dont want to hide things from her or feel so boxed up in their own home they#they desperately want her to show them they dont have to be scared of her. and she is very much not doing that.#and now theyre backed in a corner. and with no other options it seems all that much more likely that theyre going to have to fight.#I doubt theyre fully running away right now tbh. I think they Might in the future but rn I just dont think mafuyu will allow it#theyre still desperate for their mom to understand. I think they might try making peace one more time but ofc it wont happeb#so its either fight or flight. and eventually itll kind of have to be both#cause freezing sure as hell wasnt workinf#my current prediction is that kanade or someone else in 25ji will put up the offer but mafuyu will push back initially#shes probably going to stay away from home for a lil bit at least even if shell probably try to push to going back way too soon#maybe her dad will get involved? idk hopefully the writers have plans for him I could see him going either way#either way mafuyu will probably either decide to 'temporarily' stay at one of the other's places or will start more openly rebeling#the former would probably be better for mafuyu and is more likely but idk Im not fully sure if thats where theyre taking them#I will have some bitching to do if its at kanade's place but hey probably better than enas despite everything
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Conversations between bots in my ideal shattered glass au part 2
1
SoundWave: we kill them with kindness!
Ratchet:WRONG!EMPURATA ATTACK
ShockWave: *flashbacks*
2
Rodimus:you will not believe this!I overheard some of the decepticons saying that their dating autobots!do they really think we're that stpid to do such thing!
Optronix:uhhhh yeah what kinda decepticon would do that hahaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh
Bumblebee:yeahhhhh that's sooooo crazyyyyyy hahaaaahhhh
Ratchet:………noted
3
Megatronus:Ah,I love my Cancelled wife
Optronix:*screaming in the background holding a cannon with everything on fire*
StarScream:......for primus sake please tell me that's not the "Cancelled Wife"
4
Optronix:hey bee do you know what sounds a hawk make since I want to imitate threatening animal sounds when we see the deceptic-
Bee:Tuah
Optronix:uhm can you repeat yoursel-
Bee:Hawk Tuah
Optronix:Wha-
Bee:HAWK TUAH🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅*American national anthem plays in the background*
WindBlade:I told you we shouldn't have introduced him to human culture
SideSwipe: alrightx2 I get it it's my fault
5
Airachnid:I have a suprise!
BreakDown:you finally released the hyenas in your side of the base?
Airachnid:I said suprise not miracle
6
KnockOut:when I first met you I thought you were annoying
Starscream:and?
KnockOut:still do just grew to love it
7
DreadWing:what's wrong with me?
ShockWave:do you want me to answer as a friend or therapist
DreadWing:uhm friend?
ShockWave:kill yourself,best option
8
BlitzWing:just be yourself,say something nice!
Bee:I can't do both!
9
ThunderCracker:did you kill them
Windblade:no why do you assume it's always me!
Skywarp:
Starscream:
WindBlade:I killed them
10
Bee: Optronix...... I'm in love with a Decepticon.....
Optronix:hi I'm in love with a Decepticon!I'm Optronix!
Bee:
Op:
Op:*one hand on bee's shoulder* me too
Arcee:oh yeah same
Ratchet:
Ratchet: I'm surrounded by fraggin idiots in love
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StarScream:hey what if I brought you to meet my team!
Bee: your "team" as in my number 1 enemies,victims,the people on the losing side of the war,the cybertronions that i traumatised
StarScream:so that means no?
Bee:...... Lead the way
12
Megs:OH MY PRIMUS WHAT HAPPENED?!?!
StarScream:it was SkyWarp
ThunderCracker:it was SkyWarp
SkyWarp:it was SkyWarp
13
StarScream:I miss the seekers
SoundWave:you can talk to me yknow?
StarScream:you don't get it there's stuff I can only talk about with them!
SoundWave:like what?
StarScream:the dorky things you do
14
Rumble:they don't make mechs like me anymore,I'm the last of my kind-
SkyWarp:thank Primus
#starbee#megop#optiratch#sg optimus prime#tf shattered glass#that glass do be shattering#sg bee#sg megop#sg arcee#transformers sg#fanon sg megs#megop sg#sg airachnid#sg hot rod#sg starscream
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idk if this is a contreversial take or not but i think that the ideal internet experience is being able to remove specific things (triggers, nsfw, gore) if you truly dont want to see them but overall being also shown things you aren’t interested in. i think one of my fave things about tumblr is seeing like 50% of my dash be about fandoms im not in, bands i dont like and quotes from books i dont want to read rather than this endless feedback loop of tiktok showing me ‘exactly what i want to see’ in a trap to keep me online as long as possible and blind to communities outside of my own. i want a mix of curating my own experience and a healthy dose of content i don’t already know i want to see, yknow?
No I think this is a pretty safe take here on Tumblr. I think stuff like this is why most of us are still here on Tumblr instead of moving to other sites like Twitter (rip) or Tiktok, you know? Because we like that this is the last social media with no algorithm, and we want to keep it that way.
To be clear, this site DOES have an "optional" algorithm that everyone is automatically opted in on, and you have to go to your settings and turn it off manually (recently found out, you have to opt out on your desktop and on your mobile. They're treated as separate settings). But the fact that you can opt out at all is HUGE.
Like, I can just go ahead and turn this thing off, and then that's it! It's off!
I was thinking yesterday about how before Instagram and Facebook had an algorithm, people genuinely just used them to stay in touch with all the happenings from their friends and family. Like, I remember going on Facebook every single day to see what my friends and family that didn't live nearby were up to. It was so fun! And then once the algorithm hit, suddenly I was bombarded with all this stupid bullshit that I didn't care about but Facebook/Instagram thought I cared about. And then only people who I "interacted" with most would be shown to me, aka people that didn't post as often or I didn't message as much wouldn't be shown to me, and it was such a sly, sinister change that I didn't even realize how many of my friends/people I followed weren't being shown to me till I slowly stopped using the app as much because wtf why am I only being shown the same 10 people? Why can't I join a fb group without it invading my entire feed? Where is everyone else? Why does this app feel So Empty?
There's a noticeable decrease of people on this site now compared to the 2010s, but weirdly enough, this is like the only social media for me that still feels like people are on it. That I can genuinely interact with mutuals without some robot deciding, "Oh, you interacted with this one person once? You browsed their blog for 5 minutes? NOW I WILL ONLY SHOW YOU THIS SINGLE PERSON'S CONTENT IN EVERY OTHER POST IN YOUR FEED FOR THE NEXT MONTH."
This has turned into a big long rant from me but like shit, dude, it's so sad how much of our online experience is controlled by algorithms now.
#not dp related#social media algorithms#social media#and dont even get me started on Dead Internet stuff
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How I Scan Negatives
I've been doing film photography for 3 whole weeks so of course I am now an expert and you should toooooootally listen to me for my expert opinion on this matter.
But in seriousness, this post isn't meant to be a how-to guide, but if you can glean some useful information from it, that's really neat and I'm glad.
Part 1: The Scanner
There are a couple different ways to scan negatives. The simplest is known as camera scanning, and that just means you use some kind of backlight and take a close-up picture of a negative with a digital camera of some kind.
I've done a couple of scans like this but since it ideally relies on a macro lens, something which costs about $300 at a bare minimum, and more if you want one that's actually, yknow, good. Also, camera scanning inherently limits you to one picture at a time.
So my scanner is a flatbed Epson "Perfection" V600. I purchased this scanner because it is the least expensive flatbed scanner you can find that also does transparencies. It can scan 12 35mm negatives or two 6x9cm 120 negatives at a time. The Perfection V850 can do a full 36 exposure roll of 35mm but costs 4.33x as much.
So this thing is fine.
The first step is to cut my negatives up. This isn't as horrifying as it sounds. I have binder pages that hold 6 6-exposure strips, so a full roll of 35mm (which i will from here on out refer to with the slightly antiquated but slightly faster to type "135") takes up a single page.
Next, I mount them in the handy negative mounting frame that Epson provides, and put it in the scanner.
Now we can move on to the actual scanning.
Part 2: Scanning Software
This is, without a shadow of a doubt, the most irritating part of the whole ordeal. There's lots of decent scanning software out there, but there's fewer options for really good scanning software. Most of the "automatic" stuff sucks at being automatic so I end up doing most of it manually.
The scanner comes with the inventively named "Epson Scan," which is a very competent program if you want to scan and don't care about dust and scratches on your film. That is because I have yet to figure out what combination of options actually gets it to properly remove dust and scratches. This is mandatory, because I do not have $10,000 to spend on an industrial-grade negative pressure ventilation system for my bathroom/processing lab. Dust is avoidable, but ultimately inescapable.
The ins and outs of dust and scratch removal are interesting but not interesting enough for me to do a deep dive on them. The very short version is that the scanner scans every frame twice, once with visible light and once with infrared, and overlays the information from these to get rid of dust and scratches.
So instead of using the admittedly competent pack-in software, I opted to purchase SilverFast 9 SE. I paid $49 USD for this because I could not find a cracked version of the full-featured "HDR Suite" version and, frankly, i haven't missed the additional features.
SilverFast has a wizard option (Do they still call it that?) that walks you through the various steps of scanning. I haven't used it since my first roll.
The first step is to do a "pre-scan", which just scans the whole thing at a low resolution so you can pick the frames out of the lineup.
This is my screen at this point. The first step is to draw around the individual frames. This takes about 5-10 minutes depending on how anal i'm being about framing and overscan.
Now that i've let the computer pick the frames to save time for demonstration purposes manually picked my frames its time to boost the scan resolution from a postage-stamp 300 pixels per inch to an actually-usable 3200. You'll also note that i'm scanning these as "positives" rather than negatives. The "negative" scan option adds something called "Negafix" that i cannot turn off and that tries to color-correct for the negative stock's film base color. It is monumentally bad at this unless your stock is pre-loaded in its database which, as far as I can tell, hasn't been updated since 2005. We'll deal with that later though.
Now that we have the basic setting defined we go over to the "frame" menu seen above and copy these settings to all frames. I could set them manually, but copying settings over is the one thing this software is good at doing automatically. This may have something to do with the fact that it is essentially copy-and-paste, which you may recognize as a basic feature of every computer since 1987.
Occasionally, and unpredictably, the scanning software will turn on "Unsharp Masking." The wikipedia page on this option will explain it. I will not, because my contempt for the option rivals my contempt for the Republican Party, The Catholic Church, and Portland's insistence on driving 5 below the limit on the highway. I turn it off and if I could i would find whoever invented this option and eat their dog.
Once that is turned off we get to turn on the most beautiful option that SilverFast 9 SE has to offer, iSRD. iSRD is the previously-mentioned scratch-and-dust removal.
I have found that, in this one instance, the automatic settings are completely acceptable to me. They eliminate most of the really problematic dust in high-detail areas. The hairs and dust that gets left behind is usually easy to deal with via clone stamp later.
Now that the boring stuff is out of the way we get to the tedious, yet, to me at least, fun part. Histogram adjustment!
What you're seeing here is a histogram, its a graphical representation of the brightness of an image. Our goal with this is to maximize the dynamic range of the image. All that blank space to the right of the "mountains" (and some of the "lowlands" on the left) need to be eliminated so that the file can use as much of the bandwidth they have for actual useful image file stuff. This is pretty simple. We just slide those little arrows until they bound the mountains better.
Once we do this we can check the output histogram and see how it's mapped all the image data to the full bandwidth.
This has to be done individually per-frame, since each frame is slightly different.
Now that's done we can actually scan. I use the "Batch Scan" function, which scans everything one-after-the-other. I'm not going to show the dialog windows because 1.) its boring and 2.) I don't want to reconfigure the save path the way I did for the above images. It's a privacy thing.
After we've scanned everything its time to move on to...
Part 3: Color Grading
This is the part you've never heard about before. It's the most involved, and the most important, and it's worth getting into why.
Computers are amazing at storing information, at sorting information, at rearranging and processing information, but they are fundementally incapable of the most important part of dealing with information, assigning meaning.
I'm sure a lot of folks are going to be very very angry at me for saying that, but I actually don't care, and what's more, I'm confident the computer scientists I know will agree with me.
Film is better at storing images than computers. Period, this is a physical fact. The amount of dynamic range and resolution contained in film exceeds the ability of computers to contain it completely. So scanning is always going to be about compromises. You're trying to maximize the amount of useful information you can see by eliminating as much of the un-useful information as you can. But the computer doesn't actually know what is and isn't useful, so we have to tell it.
In order to do this, we use image editing software. I know a lot of photographers who swear by Photoshop, but fuck Adobe, and I know a lot of photographers who love GIMP, but GIMP's user interface is so convoluted as to be detrimental to my purposes. So I use Paint.NET, which is Windows-only, a fact which is sure to get me hate mail from several users including one of my best friends. (Sorry, Murder*.)
Here we have an unaltered** negative. There's a bit of overscan you can see on the left side of the image, and obviously its currently in portrait orientation. Before we go any further, I'm going to fix both of these things.
I like to crop my negatives in a 3:2 ratio. This is the natural aspect ratio of 135 film, and i like that similitude. Paint.NET lets me set a fixed aspect ratio for selections, which is nice
Now that the overscan has been cropped out and the picture is rotated properly, we can invert the image to a positive, and here is where it will become apparent to you exactly why color grading is important, and why there's no such thing as an "pure scan".
Wow! That's very...blue? Well, yes, it is. Color negative film mostly has an orange base. This helps compensate for shortcomings in the dyes used, and those shortcomings are why we have to color grade. The next step I take is to open the "levels" controls, where you'll see our old friend, the histogram!
This histogram looks different, but it's the same basic concept, with the difference that this program lets me adjust red, green, and blue individually. You'll also note that the individual RGB histograms broadly look similar, just out of sync. This is because of the orange base. They won't always look that similar, and in this case it's largely because the sky was overcast that day and there's a large amount of gray in the entire image.
We're going to adjust the input histogram first. Here, our goal is to map the maximum amount of dynamic range possible to the final image. Color balance is not yet important. So we slide the little arrows up and down from the top and bottom so that as much of them fill the output histogram as possible without clipping.
What is clipping? Clipping is when the black or white levels "blow out". Some clipping is acceptable in some images. A bright, sunny day will invariably have some clipping, and if you go out of your way to avoid it the image will look weird and flat. But in a picture like this where everything is muted and gray, we want to avoid it.
Clipping, by the way, looks like this, and is why i don't let the computer automatically adjust the level balance. Some people like this look with the deep black shadows, I do not.
But, onto doing it the Proper*** way
You can see the image is looking a lot better, but it still has a notably off color cast to the image. Its kind of green. Now we can move on to adjusting the output histogram. There's two ways to deal with this. We can adjust the input red, but this will result in highlight clipping. I actually don't mind highlight clipping as much, and in this case we have several red lights in the image both on the BMW and the crossing gate, so we're going to adjust that input histogram.
Truthfully, I should have thought of this before picking this image to do a demonstration on, but at this point its too late to turn back, and like I keep saying, this isn't a "how-to" guide.
So we still have a bit of a color cast, but its (mostly) in the midtones. Now it's time to bring out our secret weapon: gray balance, also known as neutral point or gray point.
That middle slider can be adjusted for red, green, and blue independently, and that's exactly what we're going to do.
This looks, for the most part, very good. I'll probably go back and tweak the gray points in the red and green a bit more, and i often go through these steps 2-3 times, repeating with finer adjustments before finally confirming the changes.
Truthfully, I don't remember if the BMW was pure white or eggshell white, so i'm going to err on the side of "eggshell" because the rest of the image looks weirder if i adjust for that white to be "pure".
And now, Voila! A fully color-graded image.
Does it look exactly like it did IRL? No, not quite, but again, scanning is all about compromise. I'm sure someone with more experience could do a better job than me, but the point here isn't to show you how to make things perfect, it's to show how I, Ivy Michaels do this.
If you made it through this far, congratulations! I love you! I hope you found this interesting. Thanks for reading <3
*Murder is e's actual name.
** i have censored the license plate of the 25-year-old BMW in my shot out of privacy concerns. It is not my car, and i do not know the owner. The negative has not been cropped, rotated, inverted, or graded in any way. Only the license plate has been removed by select-and-stretch. *** Despite my repeated slides into "we/us" language, this is not a how-to and is not intended to be a statement of objective correctness. It is "correct" in the sense of "correct to my personal workflow"
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Do they have any ideal types?
Before I say anything— I would like to preface that just because they have characteristics they’re interested in, it does not mean that they favor a person more for having them. In my opinion, ideal types are nothing more than just fleeting attraction. It piques interest, but it doesn’t serve much compared to actually getting to know someone, yknow?
That being said!
I think Elio’s ideal type is a girl who engages with him— (reminder at the start of the game Elio is straight but that could change depending on how you play!) whether it means butting heads or back and forth jokes, he’s the most comfortable when someone’s bouncing off the same energy as him. He also likes it when girls are tall/wears heels. It’s the legs tbh 🫣
Percy’s ideal type used to be someone who gave him their time of day (reminder Percy’s demi at the start of the game!). I think he might also like people with… an attractive hand and neck if that makes sense? (Ehh you guys get it, I don’t have to explain)
And then for Jamie— he doesn’t have an ideal type! I’ve mentioned it before but man’s was never interested in people or the idea of romance before and still isn’t (but that could change depending on how you play!). Tbh I don’t even think there’s anything physical he’s attracted to. He’s just… there. Which is valid!
And again— there’s no such thing as favoritism even with this. We don’t give you extra points in game for having a specific trait or picking an option that physically appeals to them (because we don’t make choices like that in game period lmao). There are things that they pick up on that are more important to them than what I listed here.
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companion
based on the companion robot chat story | xavier x reader/mc
after mc gets the new robot companion, xavier grows a bit jealous of the perfect companion
A knock at the door was heard, before MC could open it her new companion robot she had nicknamed phel was already on it.
as soon as it opened the door, a confused xavier greeted it. he looked at the robot and the door number, double checking he hadn't knocked on a stranger's door. chuckling at the situation, MC quickly went to greet him.
"thank you phel, i got it"
phel nodded and walked away, leaving a frowning hunter at the door.
"i didn't know you were busy." xavier said, a hint of annoyance in his voice.
"oh no! thats just phel, the robot companion we had talked about. I got it a few days ago, guess i forgot to tell you. come in"
the two walked in to the living room, the taller one wearily looking at the robot doing something in the kitchen as he sat down.
"whyd you get one?"
"im always too tired to do household chores, thought itd be a good way to lift up some stress from my shoulders"
phel aproached the two with tea, pouring it onto two cups, adding sugar to one of them.
"just how you like it, MC"
"thank you phel!" she smiled at it as xavier added sweetner to his own drink. the robot bowed and left the pair alone.
"i dont like it."
"oh is the tea not to your liking? i think i have other types, i can ask phel to make another pot-"
"no. i dont like the robot."
"...why?"
"its off putting. you dont need it"
"hm... i think it looks pretty great. its customizable"
"so you designed it?"
"if by designing you mean i selected the short brown hair and blue eyes option then yeah. i think i did some other stuff to it but not much."
the comment had made xavier frown even more. MC sighed and put her cup down.
"okay this is clearly a bigger problem than phel just being off putting, do you wanna talk about it?"
"well... not in front of it" he mumbled. MC rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand. "Phel, we'll be in my room. Please dont enter unless an emergency has happened" the robot nodded and continued wiping the kitchen counter.
she dragged the sulking hunter and sat him on her bed, looking down at him she spoke "so, whats wrong?"
"is it your ideal type?"
"HUH?!"
"i mean you designed him to be what you like, right? if you want me to dye my hair thats fine-"
"woah hold on. are you jealous of it?"
xavier fell silent, fiddling with the string of his hoodie. MC sat down next to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and placing her chin on his shoulder.
"y'know i love you right? i could never replace you. much less with a robot."
"it can be here all the time, it can cook, entertain, comfort and other cool features the ad talked about..."
"yknow what it cant give me? it cant give me warmth during an over night mission. i cant feel its heartbeat rising because i did something cheeky. i cant see its gaze softening as it wakes up and realizes its me. it cant be xavier, and thats all i need."
the two stayed in their position as a soft silence filled the room, xavier placing a hand over hers and squeezing it.
"...i can learn how to cook"
"i- xavier you dont need to-" she said as she laughed.
"and im good at cleaning, ill help so get rid it"
she chuckled a bit more before placing a quick kiss on his lips. "ill return it tomorrow. and for the sake of our building, you can just buy me takeout."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i always liked android and robot stories, i feel like theres a lot to explore even tho it has been getting repetitive in recent media. so when i got this chat i was inspired to do a fic based on it. first time writing xav kinda nervouse
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ik bpd akechi is popular but honestly I'm dying on my bipolar + c-ptsd + npd/narcissistic and ocd features on the c-ptsd
#💖.txt#tbh i am one of those who thinks bpd isnt a useful category and its just ptsd mixed with other stuff#im also very attatched to him being low empathy#the ocd is smth i flip-flop between. i think its more that after shido's palace if he survives#he's going to have MASSIVE issues with holding himself to impossible standards#spends the first month at the shelter panicking that he's an awful person for choosing to stablize himself before going to the police#(i do personally think he turned himself in. the dialogue from the scene at the shelter heavily implies that's his intention)#maruki's ideal reality is that 1. akechi would find joker on xmas eve and 2. he'd get let out early#or yknow. he never killed anyone so it doesnt matter anymore#the npd is just yknow. oh no! by marina intensifies#bipolar is bc call of chaos REALLY reminds me of manic episodes#and inflicting that on people? wanting to make other people experience how everything in your head is suddenly different and it feels like#this is Right and How It Should Be while your destroying your life??? yeah ive wanted to do that#ive always seen call of chaos as a representation of lashing out/acting out in an attempt to make it clear to people#just how *bad* your mental state is. how poorly tethered you are and how desperate you are for help#wanting to hurt others because no one is seeing how hurt you are and it feels like the last option#(i also see him using it in sem 3 as him finally being around people who are okay with seeing that level of pain)#(the thieves dont forgive him ofc but they see how much pain he's in and said thats fucked up. what they did to you is fucked up)#(you have every right to be mad about it. be mad about it with support.)
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On the topic of pronouns in a gay way, as a fellow it pronoun user, is there anyone in the TF cast you think would see using them too? Personally, I can see Shockwave.
god i wish i had a specific post to hand bc i made a post a while back about the idea that post-canon idw cybertronian norms would default to it/its, since 'he/him' would cease to be the neutral option once Gender TM got reintroduced and that got retroactively gendered, in the context of all of idw's.... stuff. I still stand by it. apparently didn't tag it. damn past me. ANYWAY.
you know i think soundwave would love it/its pronouns regardless of gender, they feel like an equalizer in a way i feel like he would respect and appreciate. he's an ideologically driven character (in idw); he'd be the person earnestly but misguidedly advocating for gender neutral pronouns for all, yknow? i think soundwave would like it/its for non-gender reasons. he just thinks it would solve so many problems. (he's not totally correct, but he's earnest.)
i also think actually, idw magnus in his role AS magnus might like it/its pronouns specifically because they seem like something where he is being treated as an Ideal TM. as More Than Himself. you know? call the magnus facade he's keeping up 'it' and he likes it. as ultra magnus, he's It. now, the fact he also happens to have the sort of interpersonal drama as minimus going on that makes one say 'hmmm that's Pretty Trans', at the same time he happens to be doing some weird pronoun stuff. well don't ask him about it because he'll implode lmao. he won't admit to anything, because he thinks he is being interrogated. but perhaps he has some Thoughts. he only wants this as long as it fits his narrative, but maybe it's one step along the way.
and finally, i think if rung survived the end of lost light, he'd remember that once upon a time he very much liked being called 'it' as the progenitor of the species. and it would be very hard after a post-everything life of being dehumanised and demeaned to remember why, exactly, he did. but perhaps he would in time. i think rung pre-everything, as primus, is this, and would want to one day come back to this:
-and i like to think that would be a good representation of how many cybertronians talk about Primus that Rung would like.
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Did anyone who was hesitant about body hair on T find that they were more fine with it than they assumed they might be? I know it's like, bad to be hesitant about body hair, but I am. Part of it is that, I know you don't need to be hairless and titless to be androgynous, but I LIKE the hairless titless androgynous look. I wouldn't go on T if it weren't the only option to lower my voice. I know body hair doesn't make you less attractive or androgynous, but I worry I'll feel less attractive and androgynous. But I also feel like I might be more fine with it than I worry. I might still opt for laser hair removal if I'm not fine with it...yeah it might be internalised cissexism but I don't feel the need to hold myself to a higher standard of progressive personal decisions than cis people hold themselves to. It's not as if there aren't also cis men that opt for laser hair removal. I don't feel I need to stay uncomfortable in my body even if my reasons for being uncomfortable in my body aren't ideal. Like at the end of the day, body traits are gendered by society, and gender expression is gonna be influenced by that whether for better or worse, and yeah the conflation of body hair with maleness is cissexist but so is the conflation of a deep voice with maleness, so if I'm going on T for a deeper voice I don't see why one aspect of transition is more or less cissexist than another
I mean, I think it's pretty normal for those things to get tangled up in one another- and while it's generally a good idea to analyze and question those kinds of feelings, at the end of the day, deeming your dysphoria "immoral" or whatever isn't really useful to anyone. I know men can have breasts, and yet, I did not want to be a man with breasts. I could not feel comfortable with my body as a man with breasts. I could not see myself as a man when I had breasts, even though I could easily see other men with breasts as men. I don't think it's super helpful to tie myself up in knots over that, yknow?
I will also say; I didn't want body hair either, before starting T. when it started coming in, my opinion changed completely, and now I really love my body hair! that may not be your experience, and that's fine & cool, too. I just think it's good to keep in mind that your feelings are allowed to change, just as much as they're allowed to stay the same.
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