#yk how they say right person wrong time when talking about a relationship or whatever

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for refusing to be a surrogate mother for my ex?

IDK if the phrasing is ok, english is not my first language and I have a headache.

This was years back but I dreamt about it a couple of nights ago so it might still bother me.

My ex(25M) and me(25F) had a 2y relationship, we had known each other since middle school but became close and dated until college.

Those 2 years were nice and lovely, I have many good memories and wish him the best.

The last months were very rough, we were having problems and we weren't communicating, I won't go deeper into that.

I didn't know he was planning to propose because marriage was not talked often or at all for that matter. So, when I cut him off, in person, well it was obviously not nice. We still talked but he was very hurt.

A year or so later he told me he wanted to talk to me in private but I kinda had a feeling so I told him whatever he wanted to say my partner would know because we talk about everything.

He was hesitant but accepted.

He revealed he had been having health issues, doctors told him he had just a few years left. What he had exactly he didn't reveal.

He told me before that, yk, dying, he wanted to have a kid but not with anyone, it had to be me. (!?!?!?)

I was... Shocked and also very worried about him, but also what?

He hurried to clarify he would pay for in-vitro procedures so he was not asking for sex, he would pay and cover any expenses, I did not have to be the kid's parent, actually that it was better if they didn't learn about me at all. Nothing would be asked of me a side from lending my uterus and an ovary.

I have to clarify he was/is very dear to me, so I was not through the initial shock of learning he would die soon.

My reaction was probably a bit intense and fucked up. I asked the following:

Why would you ask to have a kid knowing you'll be gone soon??

What will happen to our kid when you pass?

Who will take care of them?

He told me it was almost all planned, his family would take care of the kid he just wanted to experience paternity and leave "a piece of myself" behind.

I thought it was bogus.

Why make that to a kid?

I understand having a kid is a big cornerstone for lots of people but if you know your life is ending why leave a kid behind on purpose? IDK it felt wrong.

It was already WILD for him to ask me, an ex, already in a relationship and a kid, to give him a baby just out of the blue without further explanations than "I'm going to die soon".

I told him I could not answer right away , I had to talk about this with my partner. I was already leaning heavily on denying as it all felt wrong.

When talking over this with my partner I noticed I was very concerned about this not even existing kid and I would not be able to keep myself away knowing they would be orphaned prematurely. So the answer was obvious.

When meeting again I tried to be very polite, I made it clear I didn't agree with his plan and I was not going to partake in it cause I felt it was unfair for the kid.

He was clearly hurt, tried to push a bit(not violence tho) to make me understand what he was going through and how this could be beneficial for his mental health.

It all ended there, he didn't take it well and was very disappointed.

Some additional info that could be relevant, we're now on our 30's, last time I talked to him it was 2 years ago and he seemed fine but almost never answers my messages checking up on him.

Him or his family are not rich nor am I so the concern of his elderly parents having to care for the kid was also a big factor.

He was never too big on having kids when we dated, so this came very out of the blue.

So, AITA for not giving my ex a kid knowing he would die young?

What are these acronyms?

[beautifulpersonpeach]

what do you think will happen to bts after the hybe fiasco? I've seen they are kinda not liked by the gp as much anymore but I am not korean so I can only observe from afar. Karmys scared me when they started talking about how people were asking them about cult rumors and sajaegi allegations in person. Do you think they company will ask of bts to release something that is a bit generic, easy to listen to make sure that ot7 reunion is successful? yk similar how they mentioned they came to an agreement with the company for release the English songs (I hope I have my facts correct). Do you think bts members will feel like they can't trust the company anymore? obviously you're not in their heads but is there something that could tell you this could change their relationship with company? Solo stans as always have been using every piece of information to frame it as it suits them, but the comment about competition from mhj and bsh involvement made me think about all those times people complained about how x member didn't get this or that in comparison to this x member or this x group. what do you think? I hope this isn't too long or too boring to answer lol

***

"what do you think will happen to bts after the hybe fiasco?"

BTS is more than fine. The sentiment in Korea towards BTS is neutral to positive - that's how it was before this mess started and that's how it still is. Regardless of all the nonsense happening at HYBE, regardless of the sajaegi claims and the omnipresent latent animosity towards BTS from other industry players given BTS's position as the top group, BTS is still mostly removed from this mess and are viewed in a neutral way mostly. They also get added bonus points from Korean gp for actually completing their military service right now.

In terms of HYBE's treatment of the group, after the HYBE fiasco Bang PD is even more dependent on BTS than before, so he has no choice but to spare no expense on the group (even if it gives sub-par quality results, and this is likely after what Min Heejin has revealed about the compensation policy at HYBE).

"Do you think they company will ask of bts to release something that is a bit generic, easy to listen to make sure that ot7 reunion is successful? yk similar how they mentioned they came to an agreement with the company for release the English songs (I hope I have my facts correct)."

It's unfortunate, but yeah I expect at least a couple main tracks like this especially after everything MHJ has revealed about Bang PD's approach. Of course, it will yield only positive results for BTS given ARMY will throw their full weight behind it as will Bang PD, but yeah it's safe to expect something like the Scooter-sourced songs... unless the members themselves take more direct control of the sound direction on the album from Bang PD.

"Do you think bts members will feel like they can't trust the company anymore?"

BTS re-signed with HYBE and as the members are adults, I feel they have reason to think they are able to get what they want out of their arrangement with HYBE, at least for the next 7 years. As I keep saying, whatever we see from the outside, I believe the members have more access to information that directly impacts them than any of us do, and they are ultimately responsible for their own choices.

This conflict with Min Heejin actually has benefitted the members, in my opinion, because:

It's actually increased the pressure on HYBE to secure the members' satisfaction.

It's revealed that yes, Bang Sihyuk has a dubious management style and it's likely only BTS's acclaim (and his perceived credit for it) that keeps his ill-natured tendencies in check.

Because of Min Heejin's revelations about how HYBE actually runs, there is more credibility to complaints about misaligned support for some individual members even if due to incompetence, and so I feel HYBE is extra-pressured to prove her assertions wrong. See what's happening with Fromis_9's August comeback for example.

Yes, it's possible the grumblings about Jimin's rollout under BigHit, speculation for why Taehyung worked with ADOR for his rollout etc, take on a different light after her assertions.

To reiterate, according to Min Heejin,

Sub-divisions within HYBE are badly managed because piss poor quality and minimum-level effort is highly rewarded so long as the staff pays lip service to Bang Sihyuk. Even when the idols themselves are directly harmed as a result.

This corporate environment has impacted everything from A&R / song sourcing, to merch quality, to brand collaborations, to album promotions, to video / visual production and styling, to performance scheduling. Among other things.

HYBE demands that she use their resources even if she contends they are of poor quality and overpriced (which HYBE often transfers directly to the consumers/fans), and will negatively affect the artists.

Her constant resistance against this corporate environment in HYBE and against the culture of sycophancy towards Bang Sihyuk since 2022, was one of her first sources of corporate struggle with HYBE.

Bang Sihyuk aims to gain more direct control over every successful initiative in HYBE, to gain credit and maintain the perception of 'the man who conquered the West'. When NewJeans beat his expectations for the group to fail, he aimed to gain more control at ADOR in 2023 to which she refused.

MHJ claims that when Bang Sihyuk cannot get his way, he becomes vengeful, vindictive, and obsessive, and this was the source of her continued deteriorating relations with both Park Jiwon and Bang Sihyuk.

Sources are her whistleblower report, her first press conference, and her final letter before the injunction results were announced.

There's more, but the implications of just these six assertions from Min Heejin are pretty damning. International ARMYs and other HYBE fandoms likely will never clue into this because they are too busy burning the witch at the stake, but a lot of Korean fans are closely watching how HYBE treats the members' projects from here on out.

My guess is when BTS comes back, the pressure is on HYBE to dispel this impression. Which can only be positive for BTS.

[bkafkab]

i think if i could replace a part of what i want/ need with content consumption i would man. to have a crush or feel in love is just agony and pure raw dogging of emotions man. cant believe the hold she has on my emotions, where she is in terms of my priority wrt where i stand for her. all i do is talk about her or think about her and think you know this message is good or yk i can get her this or idk lol. cant watch a fucking movie cause all i was doing during the course of that movie was think about why did she not think harder about her masters, like she could have genuinely done one at germany or something and yk i could have joined her in europe or something but she is just running on pure vibes.

neither do i think she understands the affect she has on my emotions. that talk after i crawled back to her after saying gn to g was such a favorite and beautiful moment for me, my heart was so :3 and everything when she was like maybe i did think of you romantically and everything and like when today she sent me a voice note out of the blue i was smiling like an idiot in front of another dude irl lol. i was just so happy and somehow in my stupid head that was a sign of something yk, that she trusts me with something and wants to send me vn and get one back from me and so on. on the other hand it was honestly just heart breaking when she was telling me in december how she is going on date with different dudes and making out with her ex, wink wink theatre eh. heartbreaking when i saw her tweet in jan about ex, heartbreaking when she admitted to me that she still likes her ex at times, heartbreaking when she was like she was on video call with her ex on her graduation prom, heartbreaking when i saw those songs on her loop list.

it just sucks so much that she is not the wrong person at any point here lol. i just get delusioned everyday with every other message of hers, think yk maybe she wants me when she has never really flirted with me et al. everyday i wake up thinking about her and what i can talk to her about and what reel i might have bookmarked is a perfect fit or anything and idk if she cares really. i get delusioned and then get hurt because she did not live upto what she never promised me lol, ive just been stuck in this loop for so long. that tweet of hers about homoerotic friendship with woman is just me with her, she is making out with some guy and telling me all about it and god i dont know. i had ig somewhere in my heart thought we would go out yk, maybe she will enjoy it, maybe i will see things moving in the right direction. that is not really the case honestly.

i just keep thinking yk wouldnt it be nice to be loved by her. holding hands with her, being intimate with her. i keep thinking about the hug she gave and how warm i felt at that moment lol people around me have gotten in relationships and made out with multiple women lol i can say whatever i want to say but that is obviously something in my head. another thing that does suck is that dating to a relationship rate isnt particularly high, so many factors in that and most probably if there was a romantic thing that would wither out asap and it makes no sense to be stuck on a gurl like that lol. just keep on thinking about a hug lol when she is so much into her ex lol. wdym sometimes i ignore his drunk calls and texts if im busy, i thought your notifications were off man. i just wish after a long day lol, where im just drained out completely and dont wish to talk i could sit by her and just hug or cuddle her or just lay in her lap like the kafka quote. i bet that would feel wonderful. might get greedy and kiss her a bit eh. i dont know man. i wish it was different.

[sorikkung]

back at it w the livereactions, i got this far into the tags before i remembered this chapter is 30k and i would almost certainly hit the tag limit, so instead we going fo r a readmore SDFKHKDFS edit: buckle the fuck up bc i rambled a LOT ☠️☠️☠️ i am so not normal abt this series i apologise.

LMFAOOO we both know that wasnt a throwaway comment you little shit. i was waiting for this kind of thing as soon as they started playing shdkjfgkjsdfg

“And have you implied that they would throw out their own lieutenant so that they could have the captain for themselves as well?” wait THAT was the implication… ok looking back on it im not even sure what i thought the implication was meant to be if not that LMFAOO i am very slow today dont mind me. but that is a SCALDINGLY interesting take… oh my. the joong/mc dynamic thickens… 🤩

oooh shit each of the members being chess pieces thats SO SPICY… but also. what if thats just how i play chess. i dont move the king so i can castle when cornered. that says more abt me than hongjoong SDFKJHKSDFKHJSDJFg

saving Him? what exactly is he getting at here….

THE FUCKING TEEEEAAAA ON USING SEX AS A COPING MECHANISM IM REELING SJKFDGKJSFDG lacking in certain areas. is she just not his type or is that his way of saying hes gay. im choosing to read it as the latter bc thats canon in my heart <3 SKDFJHKSDFHK

yk ive never been to therapy before Properly but something tells me most therapists arent this much of a little shit (affectionate) but also holy hell way to be confrontational abt it. ik that comes with the job but daaaaamn.

every time san calls her star i just. [muffled screaming into a pillow] "haven't had any complains?" IM HOLLERIGNDSKFGFHFDHS he really does make things sound so romantic UGH im whipped. when san says "we" referring to not hurting innocents… ok suppose that doesnt include his time before joining the crew, but i think it speaks leagues abt his development of how he sees himself as well as the others.

SANNNN. 🥴🥴🥴🥴 im dizzy. im losing hearing in my right eye and taste in my left

yk if its any other guy saying he doesnt wanna eat pussy id call him a loser but when san says it like That he makes it romantic i hate it here why is he the ideal man. EVERY WORD THAT COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH? “Is that what you wish to call me? Are you so reverent, my love?” “Be wary, darling, I may ask you to worship me if you say it too many times.” MF DOESNT EVEN NEED TO TOUCH ME IF HE KEEPS TALKING LIKE THAT ON GODDD

something about “Enjoy me, star, you’ve more than earned it.” is making me lose my mind my lawyers will be in contact for that one

BOY YOUR BACK IS FUCKING SEIZING YOUR DICK CAN WAIT LIKE TWO MINUTES KSDJFJKSDFJHSJDFKKGDFJKH

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE FUCKING QUESTIONNNNNNNNNN LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the way he worded it too why is everything this man says so fucking HOT im TIRED!!

awhhh mingi and luca… 🥺🥺 what a change of pace LOL

“Not sure there’s a person in the universe who could fix whatever the fuck goes wrong between these people but—” she throws her hands up briefly “—also not my job.” LMFAOOOOO SHES SO REAL FOR THIS

ohh im so glad woosang are finally getting the relationship counselling they need :') LOANING HIM OUT AGAIN IM KSJDFGKJSDFJHKSDJFHDF YES PLEASE THANK YOU-

waitwaitwait seonghwa needs to FORGIVE his mother for everything?? um??? im not sure abt that one chief if i remember his past correctly he does not owe her SHIT!

THE CARETAKER AND SON DIDNT EVEN SAY SHIT??? HER SON SAID NOT TO MAKE A MESS??? HELLO??? WHAT TH EFUCK

didnt want to be lieutenant… minho insinuating mc wants to take his place… am i connecting the dots here…

once again i am loving the themes of relationships that love so fiercely and so intensely that its a detriment to them and not a bandaid that makes everything better. moc!seongjoong you are so special to me i am so insane about you.

“I will serve my captain in whatever way he needs me to now because I know I will not be around long enough to help him see his duty through to the end.” HELLO. HELLO? HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?????? YOU CANT JUST SAY SHIT LIKE THAT THEN NOT ELABORATE ON IT SEONGHWA. is he running on borrowed time?? is whatever joong needs the sirens for… involving their deaths?? is this a sacrifice thing? what is HAPPENING..

oh wow loving the way they maturely address their… tendencies like that SJKHKGDFH

damn… seonghwa rly just seems so… broken. oh my poor boy what have you done… what has been done to you…

what is UP with hongjoong man!!! 😭😭

SHDFGJKSJKFDGKJSFDK wow seonghwa just addresses something really loaded n san is just like. ayo can we fuck him now. KFDJSKJHSKDFH ahhh to give him some respite… yeah as much as im down in theory i feel like itll confuse things more than itll help but ok.

"It isn’t about using someone for your own pleasure or dispelling the feelings you may harbor towards another. It’s okay to want to take this now, for what it is and what it offers.” no dispelling these feelings huh… 👀👀👀👀

WITH A PASSIOSNFDGSFDKJHGHADFKJGHKJSFDJGKSJKFDGSDF FUCK THE WAY I YELLED... thats both hilarious and uhh 😳😳

MY treasure… i do like a good hint of possessiveness among the sharing 😋 something abt all the complex emotions and relationship dynamics here makes this so much hotter. lawd. i need a drink

SAN KNEW??? THIS WHOLE TIME???? i mean wait he did say that hes slept w half the crew that shouldnt be so surprising hsdfkjgsdf the question is who else knows. like obv wooyo and yeo knew and ofc joong but like is it just them or does everyone on this ship know that hwa's a siren 😭

“You can sense each other’s feelings, no? Then I shall see to it that you both feel the full extent of pleasure by my hands tonight.” WHY IS THAT SO HOT. MY LIL POLY BRAIN IS GOING HAYWIRE RN “Paint her pretty with your marks, Hwa. I’ll cover them with mine before the night is over.” THIS FEELS LIKE A PERSONAL ATTACK AGAINST ME SPECIFICALLY HELLO. I AM STARING DIRECTLY INTO THE BARREL OF YOUR GUN

HWA LIKING BEING BOSSED AROUND… THE SAN+SEONGJOONG THREESOME… BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME… IM… SWEATING PROFUSELY. I NEED AN INHALER. I NEED TO BE SEDATED ACTUALLY

“Fuck’s sake, I’ll believe in any god out there if this is what praying gets me.” San’s words fall on deaf ears as you reach down to cup Seonghwa’s cheeks. You see the tears there, alongside the sweat striping his skin, but you don’t know where to begin.

“Surely I will be going to hell for this,” Seonghwa laughs. His eyes are unfocused and hover on the ceiling despite your hold on him.

“If you are to go to hell, then I imagine we can go together,” you say between breaths, hands still bundled around Seonghwa’s face.

THATS SO ROMANTIC??? IM GOING FERAL IM TEARING UP THE WALLS I NEED THEM BOTH SO BAD

"I adore you-" okay first of all OW. the fact that he still says this after everything is so. "-but you are not entitled to know everything." SCALDING, but necessary. what a great line.

huh what is mc so worried abt hold on i dont get it. not entirely different from sans first captain?? how??? what is she seeing that i am not hsdfjgskdfg

“If one of them asked you to kill a member of the crew, what would you do?” HELLOOOOO. WHAT WOULD PROMPT THIS. GIRL? THE FUCK? HIM CUTTING OFF THE NICKNAME? BROOOOOOOOOOOOO

"The question on your mind, one you cannot bring yourself to voice, is whether or not Hongjoong deserves any one of those things from him." i really feel like i missed something what did hongjoong do that has her doubting him so much all of a sudden? i know they havent had the most amicable relationship but this still feels… out of nowhere a bit but then again it could be my memory of previous parts being hazy. is it cause she was almost left w jisung and now she thinks theyre all disposable or something like whattt that doesnt feel right

“I doubt I need to be the one to tell you this, Ghost, but the most dangerous amongst this crew is not myself or Jongho. Nor is it our captain or our lieutenant. For a while, I predicted that you would be the one to take up that mantle, given what had been said about you. But I was wrong." WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN? IS HE TALKING ABT SAN? HELLO. HELLOOOOOOOOO

idk if that was really a fair question or not but alright buddy…

“But I fear our captain is so dearly adept at making devotees out of the people around him.” so ive noticed! that should be a bit of a warning sign but unfortunately i find it incredibly attractive so i am gunning forward,

yk i understand why san is a black dog here but in my mind he will always be a catboy. HSDFJHKSDF

when he lost his eye, was it by hongjoong's own hands? or… was it san's?

“Hongjoong’s.” “Captain‘s.” For whatever reason, San cannot reconcile that they are one and the same. OOF. OOOOFT. ok highkey i like that san doesnt feel remorse over what he did to nightingale. like on one hand its arguably deserved since he also had ulterior motives but also san whos so torn up abt being a good person, not regretting the bad he did just adds so much dimension to him. i love it

“But I am at your mercy, Y/n. Of that much, I am certain.” WHAT A FUCKING POWERFUL FINISHER… thats interesting tho. he implied that he'd kill her if the captain ever ordered it, but also hes completely at her mercy? is he implying she has a similar grip on him as hongjoong does? god i have so many questions this chapter i really need to reread this series… lets hope my new meds work so itll be easier LOL cant wait to go back to brainrotting super hard over this 🤩🤩🤩 especially now w all of these poly crumbs youve given me or at LEAST nonmonogamy teas i am THRIIIIIIIIIIVING like no other… i just love the dynamics and the everything and god i fucking love this series. i hope you enjoy my incomprehensible livereacting brain worms <3

mists of celeste ➻ 48

➻ pairing: ??? x fem reader ➻ genre: space au, pirate au, angst ➻ word count: 30.4k ➻ rating: M ➻ warnings: language, violence, explicit content ➻ summary: Sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you aka Months into your stay aboard The Horizon, it becomes apparent that things are not as cut and dry as you thought, and that you might have bitten off more than you could chew with this crew.

⇐ previous | next ⇒ | masterlist

──────────── act six ➻ part seven

​​​

With nothing much to do but recover from your wounds, days bleed together on the ship.

You wouldn’t have much of an idea of what the others are up to in this extended period of nothingness because your days are spent between your room and the infirmary. Yunho claimed a few weeks at minimum until your ear fully heals from the abuse it suffered, and you feel that recovery time in full thanks to the accompanying vertigo that overwhelms you whenever you stray too far from your room for too long. It comes with its own set of unique perks, you suppose, ones that are rather singular to you. Minho doesn’t press you to attend any awkward therapy sessions, for the time being, writing you off as still being too injured to have a good and coherent discussion about your mental state. You don’t have to see your captain or his lieutenant thanks to their near-constant seclusion to the bridge in the days that follow after your return. Jongho and Yunho frequently come to visit you if only to curb your loneliness, and Wooyoung has seemingly taken upon himself the job of getting food to you in some manner. Some days, the din in the mess hall is too much for your addled brain to handle.

And, perhaps the most precious of them all, the darling live-in nurse of yours with his deep dimples and endless patience. You move from your room to his so often that you might as well simply move your belongings into his space, to share it together and have things be simpler that way, but San insists that you both still need the option to have your own rooms should the need arise. He thankfully doesn’t urge you too hard to talk about any of the happenings on Rathmos, yet his eyes hold endless questions every time he looks in your direction. It isn’t a topic you can run from forever, you suppose.

Wordless comfort becomes your greatest friend in those days as well. Whether it manifests in the form of lopsided smiles or minute touches, you are deeply grateful for it all. Even when Seonghwa is the next to deliver it unto you.

Keep reading

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

sweet creature - a close reading + othello + brokeback mountain

hello here we are again, in the deep deep hole we can keep digging for ourselves in a desperate attempt to figure out all of harry’s lyrics. i’ve been at this for a bit now and it feels like i know nothing. and then there’s a shakespeare reference i should get into?????

well here it is. finally. i’m sorry to keep some of you waiting; know that i’m so honored people actually care about whatever i have to say on this??????????????? really. love you and thank you. 

read this if you want a:

lyric breakdown of sweet creature

short summary of shakespeare’s othello

deep reading into how those two could be connected

brokeback mountain connection

synthesis and interpretation, besides the othello connection

breakdown and plea bc this gay menace just does this to me

LET’S GO SHALL WE?!

hs1, track 5 (intro post)

lyric analysis

Sweet creature Had another talk about where it's going wrong

“sweet creature” is quote from Shakespeare play Othello ⟶ see analysis below

“another talk” - communication issues, common theme in h (and l)’s music

relationship issues 

(here the whole interpretation of the song being about gemma (h’s sister) already falls through for me, bc you don’t experience these things with a sibling. where is it going wrong? w a sibling? you just punch each other in the arm, then give a good hug and move on, done.)

But we’re still young

“we” as the prominent pronoun in this song. “we” is a unit

“young” as a theme: “still” - met very young, fell in love young, are still young

～ tbsl “i was just a little boy”, ～ too young, ～ we made it “when we’re so young”

We don’t know where we’re going But we know where we belong

～ dlibyh “driving down a one way road to something better”

～ don’t forget where you belong - “home”

And, oh, we started Two hearts in one home

where some more of the gemma theory finds ground, apparently - but “two hearts in one home” would leave out their mother, which wouldn’t make sense if it were a song about h’s family, since he was always very close to his mom? it’s not like it was he and his sister against the world

“started” “two hearts in one home” - moved in early on - fits the h&l narrative ofc #theylivetogetherdealwithit

It’s hard when we argue We’re both stubborn, I know But oh

lovingly admitted

h loves him despite the difficulties, despite character clashes - “i know”, familiarity

h admits that he’s just as difficult

“both stubborn” - even found a similarity among the struggle

Sweet creature, sweet creature Wherever I go, you bring me home Sweet creature, sweet creature When I run out of road, you bring me home

home isn’t a place, it’s wherever this person is - he can talk him down, make him feel safe, whenever and wherever

“i go” - harry’s out on his own now, going after his solo dreams - but he’ll always come back home

“road” - maybe it’s my larrie brain corrupting me once again, but i can’t be the only one who always thought it was “rope” until i looked at the lyrics properly? anyway, when h runs out of road, doesn’t know which path to take, if it’s left or right, “you” shows him the way. yk maybe like a compass

Sweet creature Running through the garden

scene in Othello where “sweet creature” is said is set in a garden

+ motif of gardens/plants in Othello used as metaphors, esp. by Iago (see later, this is important)

gardens in literature: peaceful, secret, intimate, private world, place of youth - garden of eden, secret garden

Oh, where nothing bothered us But we’re still young I always think about you and how we don’t speak enough

“bothered” - their reality is now that people bother them all the time - in the early days the had more chances to be carefree

communicate, boys (think they’ve worked past this but it’s a good reminder)

Sweet creature, sweet creature Wherever I go, you bring me home Sweet creature, sweet creature When I run out of road, you bring me home You’ll bring me home

unique future tense right at the end of the song: you currently bring me home and you always will. faith in the future. despite their struggles they’ll always make it

OTHELLO, SHAKESPEARE 

Othello has many twists and turns in intrigue, all including the classic human weaknesses of jealousy, deceit, selfishness, wrath, mistrust and miscommunication. The storyline centres around Othello, a general of the Venetian army, originally from the north of Africa. (An integral part of the play is the subject of his skin tone, as it causes racism with those opposing his marriage, but this has little to do with this post, so if you want to grasp a bit more of the storyline, you can always google it or watch this very enlightening video.) 

(Lemme give a summary real quick, with very blurry details just so the post makes sense)

STORYLINE:

Othello gives Cassio (army person close to Othello) raise 

-> Iago (army person close to Othello) angry 

-> Iago gets Cassio drunk and starts a fight 

-> another dude gets injured, Cassio is blamed for everything 

-> Othello strips him of his rank 

-> Iago convinces Cassio to get close to Desdemona (Othello's wife) to get his rank back 

-> Iago sows doubt with Othello about how close Desdemona and Cassio are getting 

-> Iago convinces Othello of Desdemona’s infidelity 

-> Othello makes Iago his lieutenant, convinced he’s the only one to be trustworthy 

-> Iago plays a trick (w a handkerchief, look it up if you want) and Othello now thinks Desdemona’s cheating has been physically proven 

-> Othello swears to kill D and tells I to kill Cassio 

-> Iago convinces other guy to kill Cassio instead 

-> plot to kill Cassio fails and Iago has to kill the other guy to keep the scheme quiet, leaving him and Cassio injured 

-> Iago blames it all on a courtesan Cassio was involved with 

-> Othello murders Desdemona 

-> Emilia (Iago’s wife) sees all and realises Iago was the manipulator of it all (bc she figures out the trick from earlier) 

-> Iago kills her 

-> Othello kills himself

Long story short, Iago and Cassio both want (to be close to) Othello. Either for personal gain or due to emotional desires, they’re going pretty far to earn this man’s attention and affection. Since Othello is married to Desdemona, she is the centre of Iago and Cassio’s plans to get closer to Othello. Cassio wants to get close to Desdemona to get her to mediate between him and Othello, while Iago will convince Othello that Desdemona has been unfaithful and thus drive them apart so Iago can take on the role closest to Othello. A popular interpretation of Othello is to especially see Iago’s character as one driven by jealousy caused by homosexual desires.

The reading of Iago as a homosexual, as well as general gay tension between all three main men, is encouraged, as usual, by Shakespeare’s ambiguous writing. To give some examples (all Act III - Scene III)

(Of course, “love” between these “friends” can be interpreted as platonic, nothing romantic at all. But the layers of ambivalence that Shakespeare deliberately left us aren’t to be ignored just bc the word “love” doesn’t necessarily have a romantic connotation.)

Othello @ Iago (in the middle of Iago deceiving O to make him believe Cassio and Desdemona are involved)

Iago’s words here can be interpreted as “you don’t want to know my thoughts bc i am currently deceiving you” or “you don’t wanna know what’s on my mind bc i want your dick and unconditional love and i also want it to be all mine, babe. no sharing”

“my nature’s plague” def sounds like he’s not a fan of his natural urges.

had to add this one

here iago says he doesn’t blame desdemona for falling in love with othello, since it’s happened to him too. othello’s reply sounds like a wedding vow

Basically, during this entire scene, Iago goes on to sow doubt with Othello, while constantly reminding him of his love. Then Othello asks for cold hard proof that Cassio and Desdemona are involved and Iago tells the story of how he heard Cassio talk in his sleep. 

SO all these were details necessary to understand the so-called “sex dream” in Othello, which coincidentally happens to contain the nice little word group we’re trying to get to the bottom of:

“sweet creature”

ofc that little stage hoe menace would choose the fucking double-entenred sexually charged scene to grab inspiration from for a cute lil love song

I’ll place it here for you to read first:

So basically, Iago tells Othello Cassio's had a loud dream about embracing Desdemona, while actually physically embracing Iago and calling him “sweet creature”. It’s very important to remember at this point that these are all made-up stories by Iago, so he has created this fantasy on his own. The ambiguity of “to lay with” is pleasantly planted there as well, just to make it all a bit more spicy. Iago is blatantly telling Othello that Cassio was kissing and grinding on him in his sleep. Or, you know, that Iago’s imagined that happening. The words “sweet creature” are supposedly uttered by Cassio to Desdemona in his dream, yet it’s Iago who has thought of them, as if Cassio had uttered them to him. All super nice and gay, if you ask me. And why tell this to Othello? Why add those details? Wanna make Othello jealous of you and Cassio, mate? What’s up? Don't be shy, you can tell us. Without causing the deaths of everyone close to you.

The scene ends with these words:

Another interesting detail I can’t fail to mention is Iago’s tendency to use gardens and plants as metaphors in his speech. Like in the dream story, where he describes kisses to be growing from his lips, rooted there, which Cassio is trying to pull out. Some especially memorable quotes by Iago: 

“Our bodies are our gardens, to which our wills are gardeners; so that if we will plant nettles or sow lettuce, set hyssop and weed up thyme . . . the power and corrigible authority of this lies in our wills” (I.iii.317–322). 

“Though other things grow fair against the sun, / Yet fruits that blossom first will first be ripe” (II.iii.349–350)

Iago, as pointed out above, is very in touch with nature and how humans are always part of that, whether they like it or not. In some ways he seems to say you can manipulate nature by sheer force of will, yet in others he seems to think his nature is something he can only follow, like with what he says about “his nature’s plague” in Act III. 

So yeah, that’s basically what you need to know about Othello to get the Sweet Creature link. I'll get into what this might mean from Harry’s point of view below.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

You might be wondering in what fucking hole have i fallen it's too deep i wanna get out but well bestie you're in this fandom and that's how shit goes around here so you can't be surprised. This one's all the one and only @bluewinnerangel 's work, since she's the one who brought this to my attention, once again, as so many things. Genius at work over there, go give her a follow if you're not already. Anyhow, it's time you've listened to this song in the Brokeback Mountain soundtrack: 'Snow'.

As most of you might know, Brokeback Mountain, is a famous gay cowboy movie. For this reason, and this reason only, the audio parallel to Sweet Creature is an immaculate choice. Sneaky gay asshole Harry Fucking Styles has managed to blatantly copy a melody from this cult movie about a secret gay love. Are you kidding me?

The movie is set in the 60s in the US and homophobia is a huge part of the plot, causing the men to keep their homosexuality a secret in fear of not getting jobs or even getting killed. Their love is very physical and very real, though, so throughout their entire life they struggle trying to live hidden/apart. There's also the famous line "I wish I knew how to quit you" that sounds a whole lot like the love is a drug and i'm addicted to you thing h & l got going on.

(And if you don't really buy this little run, listen to 'The Wings' from the same soundtrack and then to From the Dining Table. It's like a fan piece, just a lil faster.)

SYNTHESIS

ALRIGHT. 

Might seem a lot of Shakespeare for just a simple lyric analysis post, but I needed it to tie it all in even if it was just for me to know and so I assumed you’d love to be involved in this mess as well. 

First of all, 

I interpret the main parallel with Othello as Harry painting himself, once again, as a jealous lover. He’s literally sung about himself as “being of the jealous kind” and it’s no secret at all that if someone gets their hands on his lover there is some lethal switch that turns on. Don’t get me wrong - I don’t think Harry would start murderous plots in order to secure his lover’s affections, but I’m very sure Harry recognises the desire to be the sole recipient of said affections, without the distractions of others who have their eyes on his lover. Whether or not Othello is happy in his marriage to a woman, it’s still a theme in the play, and if we interpret Iago’s motives through the lens of jealousy, we can easily draw the parallel to Harry’s life. H loves someone who is “taken”, or at least “officially”. Iago is full of self-deprecation, which hs1 is riddled with as well. Self-hate, lack of self-acceptance, and even if there is self-acceptance, it’s mixed with that hate. Iago’s repressed sexuality, when interpreted that way, has driven him to such extreme actions that he’d rather see the one he loves and everyone around him destroyed than settling to witness his lover spending his life with another. A pretty intense figure to identify yourself with, but there are more than enough clues in Harry’s other lyrics that show this side of him: unforgiving towards those who mess with his lover, making him drown in that jealousy. 

Iago’s character in the play is a cunning, complicated one, but especially deceitful and cruel (esp to women), so I don’t think Harry would want a connection to be drawn between a murderous theatre character and this kind, warm love song. I’d think, if there even if this deep connection to Othello in the first place (there’s things we’ll never know) (but it’s a beautiful connection to make, with all the parallels), the side of Iago’s personality that honors nature and connects the human body to nature is something that should be especially highlighted. It’s this human nature that can’t be twisted or turned, no matter how you try to fight it. It’s parts of yourself that you can help grow and make better, or even purposefully make worse. It’s the body as a garden, where the line “running through the garden” then becomes nice and interesting in a very Harry way. yk like smiling sweetly at you while making a sex joke. “Where nothing bothered us” then ties in again with the common theme in H (and L)’s music where the bedroom is sacred, where they’re properly connected and finally in private and lose control or whatever.

Whatever the Othello interpretation may be, the words "sweet creature" are famously from this play, and it's not a common phrase in general, so my belief in the title of the song, at least, being a reference to those words spoken in the play, stands very strong. It is a known "gay Shakespeare thing", as it's a scene with two men sharing a bed, when it all comes down to it. And Harry referenced this, and it's important as fuck.

Second of all, 

this song is the beacon of hope on hs1, in between all the desperately sad songs that deal with break-ups, depression, loneliness. I fucking love hs1, but I can’t listen to it like Fine Line, bc it really fills me with a sadness about life, which is the exact opposite with FL for me. And that’s all perfectly fine, since Harry needed to get that off his chest and he’s also an emotional sad lil gay and we need to let him have his dramatic emo moments. BUT Sweet Creature, my saviour, screams hope and the absolute faith that they stand strong and always will. It’s a soft love song, with the kind of sentiments filling every line that only an established love can. They’ve known each other for ages, been through a lot, and despite everything, they’re each other’s home and that will never change. It’s how it started and how it’ll end. In my readings of songs like Meet Me in the Hallway, i also saw that same faith, that firm belief that they’ll always share this life. And we need that yk. They need that, and we live vicariously through them, so it’s a good thing it’s sorted. And if you’re still on the fence on the whole are-they-together bit: look.

Home is at the centre of Harry’s art. It’s a common thread across his two albums now, as well as the songs he wrote in the band. Same goes for Louis. At some point they established this strong feeling of home as the other person. They were always on the road, and if they were on the road, they had each other as an anchor, and if they were home, they also shared that space. And they turned it into a religion, almost. The most obvious song to point to is Home, of course, written by Louis (among others, but most importantly him ofc), but there’s many others.

～ change your ticket “change your ticket home”, ～ if i could fly "i'd be coming right back home to you", ～ tbsl “it’s hard for me to go home and be so lonely”, ～ canyon moon “two weeks and i’ll be home”/ “i’m going home” or yk read this post by @bluewinnerangel​ bc she has summed it up perfectly

There,

that really is all I needed to get off my chest in terms of Sweet Creature. I'm sure there are more and deeper holes to dig, but this is where my brain space pulls to a halt. Who knows, maybe that garden shit is way more than it seems? Maybe the whole Othello thing is a total waste of time and Harry is laughing in his fist rn. But I'd like to think it's not, and that this person who is becoming more and more entrenched in queer culture and the community at large purposefully referenced this work of art that has been famously interpreted through a gay lens long before Harry was even born. That he imitated a melody from a famous gay movie and wove that into the main love song on his debut album.

He knows so much about queer history and culture and references it all the fucking time, and it's up to us to pay attention. This force of nature isn't just wandering through his solo career slapping sounds together with words that could make a hit and climb the charts. He is actively placing his work in the library of queer art and it has to be honored and celebrated.

[angelic-brutality]

EHEAFKLSHFESEHEEH ,, NOT ME SNEAKING INTO YOUR ASKBOX FOR ANOTHER HANMA X READER HEADCANON .. ANYWAY can i request for headcanons about hanma with an s/o who just loves affection/physical touch so much? like they always ask for it to the point that they're so annoying about it (in a good way </3) thank you in advance ILY LSDKFJLDKFJ

HEYY IT'S OK YOU CAN'T ASK ME WHATEVER YOU WANT <<3

srs i love writing your requests, i identify a bit w hanma so it help me imagine how he would act for some things (even tho this one is kinda difficult cause i don't like touching a person until we're both intimate, but it obviously helps me improve!)

okok soo hanma x neutral reader who loves physical touch ! again this is short cause i can't write anything too long and i these are just headcanons that may be wrong in other people's mind but idc

brazilian here so pls don't mind any grammatical errors :c

somehow he knows when you want to hold hands with him when you two are in a date or something

when you two started dating and it was his first time in his house, he would probably say "i noticed you like a lot of physical touch, right?" and if you said "yes" he would hug you giggling for like until he can't do this anymore (like if you need to move or something)

i can't even describe how much this boy LOVES sleeping while cuddling with you, and i'm not saying like a cute couple would sleep just holding hands or one holding the another under their chin

cause yk yk hanma wouldn't be in a relationship with just cute things, it would be chaotic as hell just like he is

one day he literally just saw you trying to sleep and he literally stayed over you (moving just sometimes when his body started hurting somewhere for some discomfort) and he could sleep like that

talking about it, he loves sleeping under you, he's that type of people who sleep better with weight over them yk?

and he wouldn't refuse sleeping over you if you're also one of that people

something cute i thought is that if you're kinda insecure with your body he would kiss you everywhere (especially in the parts you are insecure) and hug you really tight and stay like this until one of y'all actually get tired of just staying there

if you're afraid of getting vaccines (like, you're afraid mostly of the needles) he would let you hold his hand

you could be almost breaking his hand of how tight you're holding it but he just stay there smiling till you're done there

but ofc after he would mock you for this

he loves when you sit on his lap (NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY) cause he can hug you and rest his chin on your shoulder

and he loves carrying you bridal style when he can (like, if you're sleepy but y'all are not in your bedroom or something)

he secretly loves when you ask him to hold hands on public, he pretends he doesn't like it in a funny way

if you dance ballet and he's 'helping' you practice he would be happy if he needed to hold your waist to make you get balance or when you need help to do pirouettes

:-D

i really really hope this is good cause i'm not touch starved so idk if what i writed make sense to people who are

but y'all can correct me if y'all want to!

comments and reblogs are aprecciated !!

[bellamygateoldblog]

ppl b so obsessed with ~slow burns literally can't relate

here's my special shippy Thing. a pairing which knows from day 1 that the attraction is there, maybe sometimes they even act on it quickly or don't but almost do or don't but want to and they both know they want to and from then on the other person is IT for them, like genuienly it's always going to be them no matter what, they will keep going back to the other either against their own will/judgement because that's their person and they can't help but love them even when they shouldn't or they'll keep choosing that person again and again no matter what happens or how complicated it gets or who else they might get into a relationship with and that Means something. and that tension lasts through the entire show and they're like magnets pulling eachother closer and then repelling eachother away and the electricity makes any scene they're in come alive like they reach out for the other in the dark and *screams*

slowburns actually annoy me most of the time, and I get bored of them easily. what i don't want for any of my ships:

'it took her 6 seasons to ~realise he was the love of her life'

'she had to be beaten down by life enough and proven wrong about anyone else she genuienly was attracted to to finally accept the love interest as The One hashtag romance'

what id prefer:

'he's the love of her life but it aches it aches it aches'

'he isn't the love of her life but he will be and they know it, we know it, god knows it, the Actual love of her life whose supposed to end up with her knows it (🤣🤣)' and theyre like soulmates are made rather than found type thing

'this love isn't good but it's ours'

'he isn't the love of her life but he's the love of her Right Now and that's all that matters'

what can i say i like complicated, i like intensity, i like exciting. i like passionate, i like FIRE. like wtf is "slow burn" what's BURNING? my eyes?

the way of them very slowly catching feelings/kissing the frogs to get to the prince/taking forever to so much as NOTICE any sort of feelings for the other person, i feel like doesn't offer as much freedom for movement like you can't really do whatever u want or go wherever u want with that because you'll always have to account for the other person and the what Feelings are being developed at each stage, just feel as tho the first option gives characters room and space for themselves whereas the other is them being linked back to their feelings for another person idk... like i feel as if slow burns have to be done in a very particular way in order to actually Work otherwise they end up underwhelming or seeming superficial or like an afterthought yk? bc anything that happened before them could easily outshine them.

anyways lmk if this makes sense lol x

EDIT: also, slow burns, the way people talk abt them and write them, just makes me think of the Superior woman/man trope where once the slow burn is canon every connection or person who came before is rendered Less Than, Bad or Irrelevant (e.g. a frog before a prince) and that's really not...like i really don't fuck with that concept AT ALL.

[jenojaemssss]

dazed and confused

pairing: jeong jaehyun x gn!reader

genre/categories: angst, college!au, frat boy!jaehyun, a bit of fluff

word count: 3.6k (this was literally supposed to be a drabble wtf)

warnings: mentions of sex, allusions of sex yk the vibes, oh and a lot of cursing 'cause i lack the ability to keep language below 14+

synopsis: jaehyun isn’t scared of heights. he isn’t afraid of roller coasters that dropped at those terrifying heights. but he is, in fact, so utterly terrified of falling.

a/n: y’all this was supposed to be a drabble…but i wrote too much and now it’s a fic and idk how i feel abt it LOL anyways, it has not been (and will probably never be) proofread so please excuse any grammatical and spacing errors! i will now go cry with my 3 assignments due in like an hour.

~~~~~~~~

faded. drunk. confused. mentally unstable. all these words, along with maybe 30 more could be used to describe your current state as you sludge your way into a familiar bedroom at the nu chi theta house after puking up probably a lifetime’s worth of alcohol.

the god awful ringing in your ears and the throbbing of your head makes the room spin, but you’re awake enough to recognize that the room was currently occupied. before you can mumble out a string of curse words and a sorry, you particularly notice exactly who was inside the room.

you’re caught off guard by a, now pissed looking, jaehyun along with someone who you don’t immediately recognize. you realize then who’s room you just entered and mentally smack yourself, reminding yourself to rid of the habit.

the other person is hiding underneath a blanket as jaehyun does his best to cover their figure, protecting their privacy to shoot daggers at whoever was interrupting his ordeal.

it takes you a couple seconds to fully register what was happening in front of you and you scoff.

so that’s how it is.

jaehyun, on the other hand, has his eyes widened. so wide that you think there are more whites visible than the typical brown orbs. he’s gaping now, mouth open and trying to think of excuses as to why he was in bed with someone else after dumping you only 2 days ago.

in his defense, there’s no need for an excuse. the two of you were already over, and he could fuck whoever he wanted to fuck. you could be doing the same.

but you aren’t.

instead, all of yesterday and the day before, you hunkered in your bedroom, cuddled in a blanket with tissues sprawled all over your bed and the floor. you went to your classes, hoodie pulled up way over your head to shield your puffy face and baggy eyes, came home, drowned yourself in ice cream, and cried.

yet he’s here, hooking up with people after leaving you heartbroken. you should’ve listened to jungwoo when he warned you about his flatmate; about his tendencies to sleep around and leave his relationships in the dirt.

when you and jaehyun first began flirtatious interactions with one another, it wasn’t in your intention to start anything serious with the dimple-faced boy. yet one encounter followed another and you never realized how hard you were falling until you were up at 3 am smiling at messages he’d sent you the previous day.

when he asked you to be his girlfriend after about 2 months of successful dates, you were ecstatic. your mind raced back to jungwoo, correcting him telepathically. he was so wrong about jaehyun. he was the sweetest person you’d ever been with, and was so patient with you.

It even made jungwoo take back his words after you announced the relationship to your best friend.

he said jaehyun had changed since he’s been with you.

that change lasted about 4 months afterwards.

4 months of pure bliss; cute dates like picnics at 11 pm after going on drives, watching the sunset from the roof of a nearby apartment building, jumping fences into the expanses of lakes after hours.

4 months of being pressed into a mattress with jaehyun gazing down so lovingly at your writhing body. him pressing into you as your mewls surround the small bedroom. him holding you as both of you come down from your high.

4 months of falling in love with jaehyun.

all to waste after he texted you during class, saying that he needed to talk to you. at least he had the decency to not dump you over text.

jaehyun said something along the lines of “it’s not you, it’s me,” and mentioned that he “doesn’t like being tied down.” you remember nodding, emotions not surfacing until he stands up and leaves you at the coffee shop just around the corner of your dorm building.

your coffee shop. the one you two went to whenever you wanted to find the other. it was like your secret hideout, because no one from your campus knew of this place, even though it was so close to home.

you thought things were going so well, the two of you even making plans to meet each other’s parents over the coming break. but with only a few words from one side, and wordless nods coming another, everything faded to dust.

so as you stare at the man who shattered your heart with someone else underneath him, you plaster a polite smile before flipping him off and exiting the room. his shouts follow you, and you inwardly scream at him to shut up. he has no right to sound so broken at the moment.

you pass by jungwoo on your way out and he immediately notices your tense figure, trailing his eyes towards the direction you were coming from. his jaw clenches when he realizes, wanting to barge into the room and beat the living shit out of his flatmate, but instead follows you out the house.

the blaring music coming from the beaten house becomes muffled by the time you step foot outside the door, tears threatening, but not yet falling from your bloodshot eyes.

jaehyun isn’t slow to catch up with you, but is stopped by a raging jungwoo before exiting the house. jungwoo warns jaehyun to leave you alone, but jaehyun is persistent, pushing past his friend to grasp your shoulder before you could storm away from his reach.

his previous rendezvous has been completely forgotten, and all jaehyun could focus on was you. he notices how you reeked of alcohol, a hint of marijuana radiating from you as well. what he notices the most, though, was that you had a hint of his favorite perfume lingering on your skin.

before you have the chance to turn around, jaehyun is ripped from you, a loud smack following almost immediately after. jaehyun stands, one hand holding onto his pounding cheek while the other grip’s jungwoo’s shirt.

your best friend has both his hands tightly fisting jaehyun’s shirt, staring bullets into the boy’s face.

“you have no right to barge out here and chase us down after you let y/n go,” jungwoo growls. he sees red, heart hurting for his best friend. he cares about you so much. the two of you always fitting into one mold, completing each other, and every time either one of you had their hearts broken, the other would be there to fix and mend everything.

yet, he’d never seen someone hurt you as much as jaehyun did. however much you hurt, it hurt him equivalently. he knew this one was different, because the pain you felt was so much more intense than any you’d experienced before.

what pushed jungwoo even further off the ledge for him to act like this though, was that if he were to be in the same position as you, you would be doing the same thing. you’d also be doing your best to keep him from hurting himself over and over by someone who only meant trouble.

“woo, that’s enough,” you mutter out before coming to push the two boys away from each other.

“y/n, let me explain,” jaehyun grabs your arm as he says this, eyes searching yours for some form of reaction. your previously watery eyes are dry now, and the emotion that was threatening to overcome you minutes prior have all disappeared. you shrug off his hand.

“there’s nothing left for you to explain.”

it killed you, but you had to muster the strength to spit those words at the man you were falling in love with. you knew that it would have been worse if you were to hear him out.

“y/n please just-”

“that’s enough,” you whip your head in his direction, warning him with your eyes.

“but y/n-”

“i said enough!” you’re yelling now, slightly pushing the boy back. he stumbles over himself, and jungwoo takes this opportunity to grab your shoulders and tuck you safely behind his back. you had tears running from your eyes, frustrated at the tugging of your heartstrings because you’re supposed to hate him. you were supposed to be elated that you were in this situation, him begging for your time.

yet it hurt seeing him so broken in front of you, begging for another chance. it hurt so damn much, and you’re so angry at yourself for being such a pushover.

jaehyun straightens himself, looking in your direction but not quite at you because you're hiding your face behind your best friend’s denim jacket covered back.

“y/n, i just want to apologize.”

“there’s nothing to apologize for.”

“there-”

“no, jaehyun, there isn’t,” you use this as a stepping stone to emerge from behind jungwoo, who’s calmed down a bit since connecting his fist with jaehyun’s sharp features.

“don’t talk. let me finish,” you raise a hand before he could get another word out of his mouth. he shrinks a bit, but his eyes focus on your figure slowly approaching him, letting you know he’s listening.

“there’s no need for you to apologize for whatever you were doing because we aren’t together anymore and you can sleep with whoever you want. i don’t care, it’s none of my business. you don’t have to apologize for me walking in on you, because again, none of my business anymore.” you take in a deep breath before you continue.

“if you were going to apologize for breaking up with me, there’s no need. what’s done is done,” you whisper. you feel a huge lump form in your throat. you do your best to swallow it, along with your pride, and smile up at him.

you can’t really read him, but you can tell he’s in thought. you continue.

“if you were to apologize,” you began, sniffing up the snot that’s beginning to trickle down your nose. you probably look like a mess, but you could care less. you needed to get all of this off your chest. you wouldn’t have any other opportunities, so might as well do it now.

fuck the fake smile. fuck faking it til you make it. this is so much better.

“you should be apologizing for making me believe you were sincere with me,” you continue. jaehyun’s eyes go wide, and you notice the slight, subconscious, shake of his head. you proceed.

“i shouldn’t have believed it when you said i was different. fool me once, shame on me. but you continued to make me believe that i was different.” jaehyun opens his mouth, but you give him a look that shuts him up completely. he needs to fix that habit of always wanting to interrupt.

your ramble continues. “you should be apologizing for lying to me when you said you wanted to meet my parents. we set up the date and everything, and they were actually looking forward to meeting you, but now i have to tell them you aren’t coming,” you speak as calmly as you can. anything related to your parents always makes you ten times more emotional in every situation, and this was taking somewhat of a toll on you.

“you should be apologizing for making me feel special all the damn time. you made me believe i was the only one for you and that you were the only one for me. you made me feel so fucking foolish after you left, you know that? i thought we were doing so well, and you just left me in the dust after being so fucking vague. what do you mean ‘it’s not me, it’s you?’ it makes absolutely no fucking sense,” you’re almost hysterical now as you let everything fall down your face. you’re still eye to eye with jaehyun, and he looks taken aback by your declarations that he’s rendered speechless.

your next few words are what makes jaehyun’s world come crashing down.

“you should be apologizing for making me believe you were falling in love with me too,” you whimper. you’re full on sobbing now, and jungwoo assists you from falling to your knees.

it takes jaehyun a couple moments to register what was happening, a couple moments to fully comprehend what you were saying; what you meant.

you were so broken because you were beginning to love him. and he let you go.

“i’m..i’m-”

“leave, jae. do it when i’m asking nicely,” jungwoo’s low voice echos from your spot on the ground. your shoulder shake with every sob you’re letting escape you.

“jungwoo, let me fucking talk, okay? stop interrupting me every damn time while i’m trying to figure things out with y/n. this was our relationship, not yours!” he’s yelling now, and jungwoo shrinks. he knows he’s stepping over the line, but some things reach a limit, and jaehyun is reaching his.

“yes, i know y/n told you things, but did you know that i used to wait after classes when the weather turned bad just to make sure y/n wouldn’t be walking home in the rain? always forgot an umbrella when it counts,” he chuckles the last line, eyes teary.

“did y/n tell you that every single time my phone rang, i was internally wishing that the name popping up on the screen would be ‘lovely’ and no one else’s? i always wait for your calls, you know,” he directs it to you this time. “they always made my day.”

you raise your head when you realize he was walking to you. when you see his tortured expression while reminiscing his feelings for you, you suddenly had the urge to run up to him and wipe away the tears falling from his handsome face. you hated that that was your first thought, though.

“did y/n tell you i was falling too?”

you tense at his words, and jungwoo scoffs.

“if you were falling, why did you break things off?” the words leave your mouth before you had the chance to stop them. your mind was running a mile a minute because in what world did it make sense for jaehyun to dump you when he claims to be falling in love with you.

“i was scared,” he finally mutters after a couple seconds of painful silence.

“what is there to be scared of, jaehyun?” you’re standing now, jungwoo completely baffled at the interaction taking place in front of his eyes. he realizes then, that maybe jaehyun was telling the truth.

jaehyun was scared of falling.

jungwoo recalls all the times jaehyun has been in an actual relationship, but can only remember one other time that he actually introduced someone to the boys as his. all the others were just casual flings, where they'd be slipping out the door before anyone could acknowledge their existence.

when he broke things off with that past relationship, his actions were similar to the ones he’s portrayed the past few days. silence in his room instead of the typical blaring music from his sound system. a shocking decrease in teasing his housemates. jungwoo even noticed that he didn’t see the dimples on jaehyun’s face as frequently.

the one other person ended the same way, jaehyun breaking it off about 4 months into the relationship, saying he didn’t like being tied down.

he didn't like being tied down? he doesn’t like...shit, what a fucking dumbass. he’s scared of being in love, jungwoo realized.

“that’s what you meant,” jungwoo states his epiphany out loud and he stands up. he brushes off any dirt from his pants and begins to walk towards the house, knowing that whatever happens on the front lawn would heal more than harm.

you look at your best friend in confusion, but he plasters a grin on his face and looks in your direction before turning to jaehyun. “you need to stop being such a wuss.” and he’s back inside the house.

“it seems like everyone’s mission is to cut me off today, and it’s getting a little aggravating,” he tries to joke and you just stare at him in silence. he takes it as an, “i don’t care, just talk,” and begins his tangent.

“i broke things off with you because i was scared,” he begins. you follow his words with a nod, emphasizing that you’re listening to the man standing across you.

“i’ve never been in love before, and i didn’t realize how-how utterly terrifying it felt. i was close one time, but i broke things off before anything else could develop because i didn’t think i was ready for it. i felt like i was incapable of love for a while because of my stupid frat boy image, you know?” you nod in response to his rhetorical question and he begins moving towards the small bench sat on the lawn. you follow suit and sit yourself down a good distance away from him.

he talks again, this time sounding more regretful than anything. “i sometimes tell myself how idiotic i am because i let them go before. if i just had the balls to accept the fact that maybe i was falling in love, i wouldn’t have to see them roam around campus a couple months after with someone else.”

you remember briefly jaehyun’s previous relationship. it was the talk amongst your campus because the jeong jaehyun was in an actually relationship with someone. and people were making bets on how long they thought it’d last. same as they’ve been doing for your relationship with him.

“it all kind of got to me without much of a warning because like, shit, falling in love with someone meant checking your phone every 3 minutes cause you’re scared you missed their call, or calling them if they took too long to assure you they’re home safe, that kind of thing,” he smiles. “no one teaches you that.”

you chuckle dryly because he hit the nail on the coffin. no one tells you the details about being in love, only mentioning the feelings and not the irrational things you’d do for them.

jaehyun continues after he assures himself that you’re listening to his words and internally heave a relieved sigh. he was scared you were going to have things come in one ear and out the other.

“at the same time, if i kept them in my life, i wouldn’t have met you. we wouldn’t have developed a relationship, and i wouldn’t have began to fall in you,” he scoots a bit closer to you, and you let him.

“and you wouldn’t have broken my heart like this,” you retaliate and he physically winces.

“ouch. you’re not wrong though,” he smiles, dimples reappearing on his face.

“get to the point, jaehyun. it’s cold as fuck and i don’t have a jacket,” you complain when he’s silent for a little too long. you’re holding your arms now, hit by the frosty air. when he’s silent for another moment, you look up from your feet, ready to complain again. but instead, you’re met with a hoodie being pulled over your head and you’re stunned.

“when i said i was cold, i didn’t mean for you to give me your hoodie.”

“well, too bad,” he smiles widely. the hoodie smells like him, and you take in his scent. the sweater was a bit larger on you, so you begin to roll the sleeves up, pulling your arms out of the sweater paws.

“as i was saying, i realized i was falling in love with you and i was just- i don’t know, i was scared. i think i’ve said the word scared like 10 times today, but what other word is there?” he chuckles. you do the same.

“so i did what any other sane person would do and dipped. i ran away from my feelings because in my brain, it was the best thing to do. and i hurt you in the process because i was being a selfish asshole, and i’m sorry,” he finishes, you assume. as you’re thinking about how to respond, he catches you off guard with something you never thought would leave jaehyun’s mouth.

“oh, and i love you. i’m sure of it,” he declares.

and you’re crying again. as intoxicated as you were just 30 minutes ago, you swear that in that moment, you weren’t drunk on the drinks or faded from the j’s, but you were intoxicated by jaehyun.

the way he’s looking at you, the way he’s smiling at you.

he stretches out a hand in your direction, asking for your permission to take your own and grab his hand in response. his hand engulfs yours like a hug, and he intertwines his fingers with your cold ones.

“so does this mean you love me back?” he questions.

you nod, because you can’t think of anything else to say. you’re so utterly in love with him that you’re rendered speechless, you fool.

“and does this mean we can start over?” he asks, hoping for another nod.

instead, you speak. “why were you fucking someone else when i got here if you’re in love with me?”

jaehyun is now the one rendered speechless and gulps before answering. “have you ever heard of heartbreak sex?”

“isn’t that supposed to be with the one who broke your heart?”

“yeah, but if we had sex, i would only fall in love with you more.”

“and you don’t want that?”

“i do now,” he smiles.

you roll your eyes and say nothing.

“i’m sorry i hurt you.”

“you better be.”

“i promise i won’t do it again.”

“next time you do, i’m chopping off your dick in your sleep so you won’t be able to go have heartbreak sex with someone else.”

[astrochemstry]

could i request michael mell x reader headcanons w him comforting a reader who’s had a bad day please? so maybe angst to fluff? thank you so much! <3

Thank you for the request!! Having a michael brainrot recently aksfnjhdsjha I decided to make this for both platonic and romantic huhu

Reader is gender neutral btw!!

hes the sweeeeetessttttt

so whatever made your day bad--

maybe a stomach ache, a bad person and such

hE IS THERE FOR U

Depending on how you express your sadness,

So if youre more open to expressing like you just tell him

“Hey, Michael, im feeling sad.”

ROMANTIC:

RUSHING TOWARDS YOU AND IS HOLDING YOU CLOSE

Protective Michael

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

I SAW THIS HC BEFORE WHERE HE LIKES TO USE NICKNAMES LIKE PUMPKIN PIE OR SMTHING AND

YEAH HE DOES THAT TO YOU

“Sweeeet heeaart” “Loveee” hes good with nicknames but im not forgive me

ALSO I L I VE FOR PINOY MICHAEL OK

HE CALLS U MAHAL BCS IT MEANS LOVE

“Mahal, what made you sad?”

You cant hide anything from him

Not bcs hes like sherlock holmes and deducts whats wrong right away

But bcs he uses puppy dog eyes

Y e s

if its hard for you to express ur emotions and problems

all good, hes vv patient!! didnt understand at first when the relationship was still starting

but when you guys talked it out and stuff, he understands now!!

Also if it was a person who made you mad,

Protective michael 10x more

“Who was it??”

So uh if you choose to tell him

Hes gonna go deal with them

Probably with everyone else tbh they see how happy u make Michael feel and love that and how much of a cool person you are

So someone hurting you is a big nono

However,, If you don't tell him

Wont push!!

But hes still gonna try and find the person tbh

Its either he does or he doesnt

Also

Ki ss es

And nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck

aND NUZZLING NOSES TOGETHER!!!!!!

And gIVES YOU HIS HOODIE

But if you really don't wanna talk abt it yet

He will ready a movie, cuddles and whatever you want!!

Also SLUSHIES FROM 7-ELEVEN!!!!

I don't know shit abt 7-elevens at america or smth so i cant say much

oK so abT THE FILIPINO MICHAEL?? YEAH SO LIKE

HE SHOWS U MOVIES

COMEDY MOVIES

TAGALOG MOVIES

Theres subtitles tho dw

But there’s some parts you don't understand

Michael is either, explains it to you and accidentally spoils the whole thing or he doesnt and keeps laughing

And if you wanna go out and not stay in

Yall going out and having fUN

Arcade, 7-11, wherever you both wanna go tbh

PLATONIC:

So- Like in the romantic relationship

Actually tbh romance is just best friends that kiss for forever or for 5 months

anYWAYS

No kisses but hugs

TAKES YOU OUT TO HAVE FUN

Uh u guys have vending machines in America right we don't have that here but yk in movies where it gets stuck and u can kick it

So

You

Both kinda do thaT

“Damn it the Bar didnt fall”

“Its fine, michael, we can go an-”

*KICKING NOISES*

“mICHAEL-”

“I got you your granola bar and a couple of coins”

You didnt get caught by some police or smth

But a kid saw, though you both didnt know

You guys go to arcadeee

Honestly i don't go out much and the only times i get to go to an arcade is a blessing and i have only small experiences there BUT

YK THOSE PHOTO BOOTHS?? YEAH SO YOU GUYS GO IN THERE AND TAKE RANDOM PICS

So lets just say this arcade has a gigantic version of flappy bird and crossy road

Two player game #2 but competetive shit

OH AND JEREMY

You guys are besties too

Coincidentally, hes there with christine (theyre cute together kfkhakgfka)

You and christine team up against them in DDR

You and christine won 😎

You guys then went and got some food at 7-eleven

ALSO CHRISTINE AND MICHAEL ARE BESTIES OK NO I DON'T TAKE CRITICISM

LITERALLY SCARIEST, CHAOTIC AND CUTEST DUO

Overall, whatever made you sad- you forgot!!

We all need a michael mell in our lives tbh

[houdinicorbini]

Hi, i hope you’re fine! Nightmare was just so adorable, my heart literally melt. I love your blog<3.Hmm but whatever! If you´re comfortable with this, could you write abt ardyn having an argument with his s/o, and accidentally hurting their feelings by being too defensive? Like, angst/fluff yk. Take your tim, no pressure c:🤍.

I’m really glad you liked it! I’m really glad to find someone else who really liked this character as well! I actually have a few things of Ardyn in my drafts that I need to continue with soon.

Now this has some of the topics of last one, like him dealing with nightmares so I'm going to be kind of playing off that

Also, I want to put a disclaimer in here. It's best to not push someone when they are going through a tough time. What I am doing is only fiction and sometimes some people accidently cross lines trying to heal their own anxiety than the person who is hurting. Not saying this makes them a bad person, they just don't realize what they're doing.

Tw: Arguing, yelling, injured reader and angst

Today just seemed like another normal day with Ardyn. It was still early afternoon, the two of you were cuddled up on the couch, just relaxing. You were watching tv at a low volume while Ardyn was reading a book.

Snuggling up to up to your lover more, you rested your head on his arm while watching a random show that was on. Ardyn changed positions so you were laying on his and your head was resting on his chest, his arm protectively wrapped around your waist. All while he was still reading.

He is usually lovey dovey like this, but something just felt off about it today. The tightening of his arm kind of gave that away too, like he was subconsciously trying to tell you to stay.

You had noticed that Ardyn has been a bit tense since the both of you got out of bed this morning. After being in a relationship so long, you tend to notice the little signs he gives off when something is wrong.

You also took note of how he wasn't really talking that much. Just simple answers and short responses. You had an idea that maybe he didn't sleep that well because Ardyn really only acts like this when he didn't have a goodnights sleep.

Thinking about how to bring it up, you figured you'd ask a simple question. Maybe try and lead into asking the main question. You didn't want to back him into a corner though, so you knew the question to ask to get things started.

"Did you sleep well last night?" breaking the silence, you look up at your darling, who has his face buried in a book. For a second you could feel him tense up at the question.

Placing his thumb between so he could close the book without losing his spot, Ardyn gazed down at you before answering. "Of course, my love. Difficult to have bad rest with you at my side." He flashed you with a sweet smile, but it didn't seem to quite match his eyes.

His tone sounded off to you as well, like it was laced with tiredness, but he was doing his best to mask it.

Ardyn saw the look in your eyes and noticed a hint of worry in them. There were times where he didn't like how you could read him. He didn't like how that mask he tried so hard to keep up was starting to slip.

"You look very tired, and you haven't been acting like yourself since we got out of bed this morning, are you sure?" You saw a shift in his emotion, surprise maybe? It was only for a second before he insisted he was alight.

"Dear, I can assure that I am fine, there's no need to keep worrying about me." Ardyn was trying his best to reassure you that he was fine even though you could see right through his disguise.

You didn't believe him, but you knew trying to press for an answer was not the solution. You didn't want to make things worse by trying to force him to talk.

On the inside, a part of Ardyn wanted to tell you what was wrong. That he had such a terrible nightmare about losing you. Something he fears a lot more than he admits.

He's afraid that one day you'll just be gone, and there won't be anything he can do to fix that.

Ardyn didn't know whether to be happy or upset that you've known him long enough to see when he isn't doing well, but it didn't really matter since he didn't plan on opening up.

Little did he know, you had other plans to try and slowly break through that iron wall of his. You were persistent in trying to make him happy!

"I guess it must be me who's tired then." You played it off with a chuckle as you tried to get up, much to Ardyn's dismay.

"Darling," Ardyn began, wanting to tighten his hold on you so you wouldn't leave him, "where are you going?" He asked. His eyes were obviously giving away the fact that he did not want you to go.

"Oh, I was just going to go into the kitchen!" You quickly answered, but that look he was giving you made you want to reconsider.

Letting out a sigh, Ardyn released you from his iron grip before returning to his book. "Do hurry back, I find it easier to concentrate with you by my side."

Once you've gotten up, you smile and give him a quick peck on the cheek before heading into the kitchen. You didn't see it, but there was a genuine smile on Ardyn's face, just for a second though.

Your plan was to make some sweets for Ardyn to enjoy. Something to help get him out of his shell, even if it was something as small as food. Making sure you had all the ingredients you needed, you began getting out all the dishes you'd be using.

Meanwhile Ardyn was on the couch trying to fight falling asleep, especially while you were not there with him. Though, he was quickly losing that battle.

This continued on until he heard a loud crash come from the kitchen. His book that was once laying on his chest during his sleep battle was tossed on the floor when he raced towards where he heard the commotion come from.

Ardyn's heart dropped when he saw you on the ground, clutching your foot while there was glass bowl that didn't appear to be broken. It seemed to have taken the bag of sugar down with it.

'W-Wait! I'm fine! Really!" You quickly tried to assure him, but that was drowned out as he rushed over to you. Getting to your level, he investigated the spot on your foot where he assumed you dropped the bowl on. Looking down, you noticed how fast a bruise began to form.

"Can't you be more careful!?" The sudden yelling made you both jump and forced your head to look back up.

You noticed how Ardyn had mix of worry and anger. How were you to know that he was angrier at himself. Confused, you try to calm him down.

"It's only a bruise, I'm fi-"

"And what if it was more than that!? What if I was gone and you were seriously injured!?" With each question, Ardyn's voice raised more and more.

"I just wanted to help! You never open up so I thought maybe I could try something else!" You felt like you were being back into a corner so you couldn't but shout back.

"And hurting yourself was the path you decided to choose!?"

"It's not like I purposely meant to get hurt! Do you think I try to mess up!?" You could tears start to well up, from both the fighting and the pain the was actually getting worse.

"Maybe if you didn't do it so often, I wouldn't need to assume!" Ardyn finally processed what he said when he saw the look on your face. The regret that started to sink in when he saw the tears in your eyes.

"Darlin-"

"Do you really see me as a screw up?" The cracking of your voice broke his heart. "My love, please forgive me, I don't think of you like that at all, I would never." How he wishes he could take that back.

"Please, let me carry you to bed, I don-"

"I can get up myself." Still feeling a bit hurt from his comment, you tried your best to stand up, but Ardyn quickly noticed how you winced when you took just one step.

Ardyn knew you could do it, but it pained him watching you try and walk to your shared bedroom, not when he could help. Though he knew he had no right to say anything after that fight.

You hobbling over and nearly falling is what made Ardyn change his mind. He caught you midfall and brought you to the giant bed the two of you shared. You only huffed and crossed you arms in response.

Once you were settled in bed, your mood changed when you saw the emotions being displayed on Ardyn's face. As if he was doing everything in his power to keep himself from breaking down.

"Ardyn, please tell me what's wrong." You wanted to help him so bad, if only he would let you.

It was then when he couldn't hold it any longer. Seeing a tear roll down his cheek made your heart hurt for him. Seeing as how he was knelt down next to the bed, you acted quickly and used your hand to wipe away the tear.

Patting the spot next to you, Ardyn quickly took the hint and laid down next to you, but you had him reposition himself, so his head was now in your lap.

"What's on your mind?" You ask in a soft voice, taking your hand so you can run it through his hair in a soothing manner.

You could feel his tears falling onto your thighs as he finally opened up to you.

"You read me so well, you knew I wasn't doing well, that I hadn't slept well." He really didn't want you to see him like this, but he felt comforted by your actions.

Ardyn began telling you about his nightmare, how violent it was, how he lost you. He then explained he barely slept at all last night because of it.

He explained everything all while you just listened and continued to run your fingers through his locks of hair. Reassuring him that you're not going anywhere.

"I'm sorry." He said with a tear-stained face. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I would ne-"

"Shh, I know, I know. You were just tired and had many things going through that head of yours. Just please know you can talk to me when something happens."

Ardyn slowly nodded his head before letting out a content sigh, he felt incredibly loved by you and your dedication to show it. He made a mental note to repay your love tenfold later, when he had more energy.

'Do you want to try and get some rest? I promise that I'll still be by your side when you wake." You just wanted to see him well rested, but you weren't going to force him to sleep if he didn't want to. He wasn't a toddler.

"I think if I have you right here like this, I'll have pleasant dreams."

You smiled softly down at him before leaning down to place a soft and loving kiss on his cheek.

"Rest well, my love."

-------

That was a lot longer than what I had expected! But I hope you enjoyed it! I apologize if anything seems rushed or seems out of character for Ardyn! Let me know if you enjoyed it at all and thanks for the request!

[blxetsi]

do you write for zeke? if so could you please do some boyfriend!zeke (modern au) hcs? thanks🥺

tysm for requesting !!!

modern zeke jaeger dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

zeke jaeger x gn!reader

- biggest tease ever.

- i think you two wouldve started off as friends to lovers yk 😌✨

- v funny v teasing will make fun of you no matter what

- but its all lighthearted and you can genuinely tell hes joking and doesnt mean what he says

- hes a coffee person. all the way.

- almost always seen with a coffee in his hand

- after you keep stealing sips of whatever hes got he finally just caves in and will bring you your own drink whenever he sees you

- if you dont drink coffee, but prefer a sugary drink or something he'll tease you about it

- hes a very relaxed person and doesnt get jealous, hes not someone that will go balistic and get angry when you hug a friend he doesnt know or whatever

- also would be really cool with your exes if youre cool with them, like "oh yeah i remember you telling me abt them, congrats on your engagement btw" just a very civil man

- if he does have insecurities about your relationship he just kind of, wont say anything ???

- not that he doesnt want to he just doesnt know how to bring it up

- bae pls learn how to talk abt your feelings 😁👍

- anyways after a little bit youll notice somethings wrong, but he'll try and act "strong" bc thats what he thinks hes supposed to be for you

- baby no u can be vulnerable its okay 😐🤚

- he finally lets everything go and has a really long and progressive conversation with you about everything, and you guys work it all out !

- you assure him its okay to be honest and that hes always welcome to talk to you about how hes feeling and his heart just swells

- im also a firm believer in that zeke genuinely doesnt care what you look like, if he finds you cool he finds you cool, he dgaf

- poc ?? he loves you. plus sized ?? he loves you.

- if you even THINK of being like "lol im insecure" hes shutting it down and talking abt how beautiful he finds you

- hes also someone that likes to push you out of your comfort zone, but in baby steps ?? like hes not going to force you to do something when you say "zeke im genuinely not comfortable with this" but if youre very shy he'll try and help you kind of,, not be as shy (hopefully this makes sense 😁👍)

- also loves to cook with you.

- his favourite types of dates are just when you two go to each others' homes and just cook dinner together ?? maybe drink some wine while you chop vegetables and work together (if you drink obv, if you dont he wont drink either even if you say its okay)

- he thinks it makes the food taste better because "it was made with our love" yeah ok ig 🙄🙏

- his family is really cool !! his dads a doctor and his step moms a social worker, and theyre really nice people !! his younger brother is in college but after a while he grows to love you like a sibling

- his mom lives a couple hours away, so he only gets to see her during holidays, but shes a very kind woman who owns an art shop !

- hes a very family oriented man, and really likes that you like his family and vice versa, he thinks its really important that his s/o and family get along

- when hes with you he sees himself being with you for the long run, im talking marriage and kids (if thats what you want) but definitely marriage

- if you two had different friend groups i think it would be hard for either of you to kind of fit in with each others friends, but after a while you two get the hang of it and it gets easier to see them !!

- is the kind of guy who'll wake you up with kisses on your cheek 🤩

- also likes to spoon you or have your head on his chest. will NOT be the baby spoon no matter what.

- also the kind of guy who dramatically stretches and yawns in the morning

- likes it when you hold his hand, even if you guys are just sitting together on the couch watching something, its so simple and subtle but it makes him really happy

- if you have an office at home that you work in a lot, he'll come and check on you when it gets late. will just rub and pat your head and ask what youre working on, and ask if youll be done soon

- if youre stressing on something that needs to be done THAT NIGHT he understands and will just leave you to it

- when you come to bed late it wakes him up but hes glad it does bc then he can pull you into his arms 😌✨

- zeke has very warm hands, to the point where sometimes theyre sweaty and clammy, so when you have a stomach ache or cramps he has no problem just laying down behind you and rubbing your stomach where it hurts

- if you have a weird interest or hobby he wont discourage it as long as its not hurting you or anybody else, he'll try and get into it to but if he cant no harm done, he'll respect it and you

- i think he would have some acne scars on his cheeks from highschool (puberty am i right 🙄😤⁉️) and thats one of the reasons why he has a beard, just to make it hard to see

- its mostly bc hes cool though, and although he started growing it out BECAUSE he found the scarring weird, as hes gotten older he just doest care anymore

- if you think he looks hot clean shaven he'll do it for u, and he loves the compliments you give him

- zeke is the kind of guy that will flip through the tabloid magazines at checkout

- "babe did you know that jennifer lawrence has a dark secret ??" "i- i did not 😁"

- also the kind of guy that will laugh if he sees kids falling in public

- if he was a father he'd help his kid up obviously, but would do it while giggling the whole time

- has dad handwriting (u know what im talking about)

- everytime he calls his brother he answers with "hey asshole" ??? brotherly love 🙈✨

- is very into horror films, but ONLY good ones

- so like hereditary, midsommar, and black swan are some ones he loves

- the kind of guy that has captain crunch for breakfast every morning

- theres this guy at the law firm he works at that he has a "rivalry" of sorts with, his names levi and from what youve been told hes actually very intimidating ??

- loves to read and will read to you if you ask, would have you in between his legs with your back to his chest on the bed, and he'd have one hand in yours and the other holding whatever book you choose

- zeke needs to be in complete darkness to sleep but needs to have a room as bright as possible to be productive. so every morning after he stretches and gets out of bed hes immediately opening his curtains and letting light into the room because "its the only way he'll actually get ready"

- if he was ever to pop the question he'd do it alone at a very mundane time, just like "wow this is the moment" and ask you to marry him. doesnt matter if he has a ring or not, hes ready, and he realizes this, and he finds the beauty in just doing something so simple with you. hes content and happy, and you make him see life in things he hasnt before, and hes ready for the commitment that comes with marriage, and hes in love with you.

hope u all enjoyed 🤩🤩🤩 asks r open so request if ud like !!! okay love u all stay safe 🤩

[neoheros]

how would haikyuu boys handle falling in love feat. kuroo + akaashi + tsukishima !!

kuroo tetsuro

being in a relationship with him is just a pretty chill experience tbh

i feel like kuroo wouldn’t really date anyone he’s not close to on a comfortable level

people be like: omfg he looks like a player tho

he’s literally not ???? like y’all telling me this man doesn’t look like the idea of having to interact with people he doesn’t know repulses him ? bye

he’s not ignorant, he just isn’t the type to get out there unless necessary yk?

he’s got a good friend group and he’s totally satisfied with that !!!!!!

so when he was 100% sure that he saw you as somebody he’d want to be more than friends with he was just like :0

kuroo at 5:37 am, thinking of that one time you handed him a bottle of water first: oh— oh shit

he doesn’t act on it first though because y’all have been friends for so long and what if you don’t like him back ???

he didn’t wanna ruin the thing he had with you because you were literally the only one who tolerated him sending tiktoks at 4 am in the morning

kuroo: omfg have you seen this one yet

you: bro it’s almost 5 am are you on crack

but eventually he got tired of just staring at you and admiring you from afar and having to make up some excuse when you catch him cause he just really likes looking at you :(

you: bro stop staring at me

kuroo: no, your face bothers me

you: due to personal reasons i will make you pass away ❤️

so one day he just decides to shoot his shot yk?

if you reject him that’s fine, he’ll just have to send numerous tiktoks to wash away the awkwardness afterwards

like he’ll be upset about it because holy crap he flat out adores you at this point but he’s also got a sense of boundaries and will totally respect your decision

BUT !!!! when you told him you liked him too he just 🥺👉👈

this man had the goofiest grin on his face for weeks on end and his heart is all over the place because all the things he imagined in his head to do with you is finally gonna come true !!!

don’t be fooled though !! nothing will change from your friendship !!! you’re still both really chill with each other except now y’all can hug and kiss and !!!!!

kuroo: don’t i look kinda good in this picture though

you: not really, let me take a better one

kuroo: stop taking me out of frame

in retrospect, it’s really fun to be in a relationship like the one you two have because there’s not much things to disagree on and the dynamic you both have just go so well !!!

there’s also not a lot of new things to do or be uncomfortable about because y’all have already done everything as best friends !!!!!!! it’s 🥺

you, seeing kuroo staring at you: what’re you looking at me for

kuroo, unnerved: you’re so pretty

you, caught off guard: it’s my time to pass away now i see 😌

you two joke around a lot but that doesn’t mean you two take whatever you say to heart

somewhere along the line, this made kuroo a bit worried on how you took his intentions though

he knew you were cool with messing with him but sometimes he wonders if what he says ever gets to you

so one night while the two of you are eating frozen yogurt in his car, you in his hoodie and just straight up vibing to the tiktoks that played as background music

he looks up, spoon in his mouth, “you know that i love you, right?”

“you’re so cheesy,” you tell him, laughing while you scroll up to the next video on the fyp

he leans back in his seat, eyeing you under the single yellow light of the car

you, barely looking up from your phone: i love you too though

akaashi keiji

being in a relationship with akaashi is quite literally the most gratifying thing

he’s 97% of your wise decision making and you’re very much thankful for that

when he first met you he honestly didn’t know what to think

his first impression of you? an indecisive impulsive mess

his second impression of you? a very cute indecisive impulsive mess

there’s not a single doubt that he was crushing on you H A R D

he doesn’t pay attention to it though because he knew how crushes often worked and most of the time they didn’t really work out

but the more he looked at you or stared at you from afar with a silly grin that he doesn’t even realize, everyone around him notices just how silent you make him

leave it up to the fukurodani volleyball club to be the best matchmakers in the world

so one night while akaashi was chilling in bed he gets a text from bokuto telling him about an impromptu team hang out sesh

akaashi: it’s 7 pm ..?

you, in the group chat: theres never a wrong time for milk tea !!!!!

when you sent that everyone else in the chat was just so frickin ecstatic because now that you’ve confirmed you were going, it’s obvious that akaashi was now too

he arrived like 2 minutes early from the designated time and the way it wasn’t at all shocking when no one else arrived except for you

akaashi: well they totally bailed :/

you: hey at least now we have a list of people to take revenge on when the purge strikes

it’s okay though because the two of you make most of the night anyways !!

you never thought sitting outside of a 7/11 at 7 pm on a friday could be fun but as you sat there with boba tea and a ramen cup with one of your closest friends next to you, you were just !!!! so frickin soft

akaashi on the other hand didn’t feel anything but utter nervousness the whole time

it was so cold under the night sky and you were so close to him, he’s praying that you take the redness on his cheeks from the weather and not from the rapid racing of his heart

bokuto texting him: bro i swear to god if you’re not taking this chance to shoot your shot i’m >:(

he’s so nervous because it actually was an ideal time to tell you how much he liked you

plus he’s pretty sure that you were eventually gonna notice just how often he glanced at you whenever you came to their practices or in general

so he’s like fine then !!! he’s gonna do this tonight and if you reject him then he’s just gonna have to deal !!!!

akaashi, anxious: hey i really li—

you, cutting him off: i like you a lot and i’m pretty sure bokuto did this on purpose because he knows and i’m sorry if it wasted your time !!!!

akaashi, less anxious: oh

HE !! DOES NOT HESITATE !!! TO REASSURE YOU !!

he just smiles softly and tucks your hand in his and tells you he’d like to walk you home that night

after that something just changed between the two of you

suddenly he’s walking you home everyday with little forehead kisses before he leaves

going grocery shopping with him when you run out of food at home because he’s the only one who knows about your secret snack stash

akaashi: you don’t need that much yakult

you: ? don’t be alarmed but i think we just found the reason of our first fight

whenever you go out with him to shop for anything at all, he always has to be the person in front when you walk because he’s the one pushing the cart with his left hand while his right is tightly interlocked with yours

you just stray behind him, pointing out all the things you’d like and he’s the one who decides if it’s worth to buy because you’re absolutely sure that you’d be dead broke if you were left alone

akaashi: this hoodie looks cute, do you wanna try it out

you, recalling the four sweatshirts you haven’t returned to him: nah i have enough

sometimes you’d get in the cart whenever the grocery store you’re in is mega big and he’s just gonna have the most unbothered face as people eye him because he’s pushing a fucking cart with a person in it

you’d get worried though thinking that you’re too heavy for him to push around so you insist to get off but he just doesn’t let you because you were so cute and 😤

akaashi is just so frickin soft when it comes to you like most of the time when someone idly mentions your name a smile immediately comes up to his face and he doesn’t even realize it

he also almost always wake up to numerous snaps of you at 3 in the morning just doing the most random things

he goes through them with such a silly grin and has to fight the urge to screenshot all of them cause u were so FRICKEN cute

akaashi, looking at a photo of you with tears down your face from 4 am: that’s my baby 👉👈

everyone around y’all are just on the fence about the two of you dating since neither of you really cleared what was going on ???

you were scared to call him your boyfriend because there was never really a discussion about it and you didn’t want to come off as assuming

but one afternoon right before he left when he dropped you off at your house, he just stopped and looked at you and you were so confused

akaashi, taking off his sweatshirt and giving it to you: the news said it gets cold tonight

you, on the verge of tears: oh 🥺

tsukishima kei

he’s a salty little shit who complains 24/7 and that’s about as canon as it gets

BUT but !!! if there’s anything tsukishima is good at and i mean anything !!! it’s being observant and keen on the people around him !!! ESP TO YOU !!!

at first you were always just kinda there ?

like he noticed your presence cause you shared classes with him and you were also at his practices a lot cause you and kiyoko would walk home together

so he knew of you but didn’t really know know you, yk?

but then one day yamaguchi came to him introducing you because apparently he’s the only one left on the team who hasn’t met you and it may or may not be because you were low key scared of him

it’s all good though cause once you two shook hands and talked he became more open to actually including you in his life

you guys made out to be good friends considering that you balanced out his snarky attitude with your even worse comebacks

like they weren’t really all that clever but it’s annoying enough to get him to shut up when you want him to

everyone on the team was super surprised at the fact that you were able to talk to tsukishima like that but also they were like: “please don’t ever stop???”

so you became from someone he barely realized was there to always looking for you first when he enters a room

yamaguchi: you know some people would call that having a crush 😗

and he’s all confused cause he knew that the possibility of him getting through high school without having a crush was very slim but jesus christ a crush on YOU??

tsukki, internally: god has favorites and it is not me 💔

but when he gets over the idea that it’s completely revolting to like you like that he realizes something click and suddenly it wasn’t an annoying idea to see you romantically

so in full tsukishima style he asks you out and was pretty surprised when you said yes but you weren’t cause he wasn’t even mildly subtle at hiding his intentions

you: does this mean you won’t be mean to me anymore 🥺

tsukki: no but that’s a nice try ❤️

even when the two of you started dating, he didn’t really want anything to change cause he liked the dynamic he had with you

he was very relieved that you weren’t easily offended and you didn’t really get on his nerves a lot

you guys were hot heads but you also respected each other 🥺

something you quickly became accustomed to after dating though is being codependent when it came to sleeping

you’re usually always over at each other’s houses and his mom is totally over the moon at the fact that his son found someone like you

so every afternoon after school you two are at either houses and just chilling and vibing because school do be very tiring tho

most of the time naps happen and even if it is super hot outside and you’re on the verge of a heat stroke, you just can’t get comfortable unless you’re touching him yk?

tsukishima’s probably the same since he really likes it when his leg is over yours or when his arm is touching your arm

you, under a blanket against tsukki’s back in extremely warm weather: it’s hot

tsukki, sweating: yeah

you: so anyways

he didn’t even realize how much he’s used to you being there when he falls asleep that at night when he actually needs to rest and you’re not anywhere near him he just can’t ???

tsukishima, snapping you a picture of him with tired eyes at 2 in the morning: you ruined my life

you, just as tired, quickly replying: uno reverse card bitch

so it’s 2 am and neither of you can fall asleep and it’s just an entire frenzy of tiring yourselves out

the two of you end up facetiming and just talking endlessly about random thoughts and perspectives on people

his voice is 100% groggy and every 2 minutes he’s yawning but he really likes it when he’s talking to you because it’s always better when it’s you in the mix

he’s telling you all about how he thinks dinosaurs are super cool and fantastic that when he realizes you’ve fallen asleep he’s just like 🥺

he stares at the screen for a while, suddenly regretting that he wasn’t there to make sure you were comfortable

he’s got the softest smile on and he doesn’t even care that he’s staring at you while you’re asleep cause you just looked so peaceful and warm and sweet

tsukki: that’s my baby 🥺

he feels another yawn come up and he ends the call, hoping that the tone won’t wake you up when he does

at this point he’s also on the verge of falling asleep and he’s very glad that he talked to you because you always knew how to get him out of things like this

tsukki, texting you: thanks for falling asleep on me SNAKE

tsukki: love you, gn <3

[nishiisenpai]

somebody to someone - tsukishima kei x reader

REQUEST: “ Id love to request a Tsuki x Reader!! Maybe just a angsty fluff of sorts where there has been a lot of drama within their relationship? Like Tsuki’s friend (Could be yams or some1 else) kinda always had a crush on the reader, and maybe at one point one of the readers friends also had a crush on Tsuki, but it’s pretty obvious that they like each other instead. Maybe at the end Tsuki got hurt in a practice match or whatever, and the reader gets super worried- so she goes down to the nurses office to check on Tsuki and like seeing him even the slightest bit hurt causes her to just poor out all her feelings and tell him that she loves him? And happy ending pls where he reciprocates? Tysm 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️✨✨ - @i-smoke-chapstick “

A/N: it has come to my attention that majority of the people visiting my page are here for tsukishima angst. honestly i vibe with that. so i hope i didn’t disappoint in this request, and let’s start shall we? ;)

oh and side note, i didn’t really know how to add in drama without it being cliche, yk? i am trying not to be cliche with my work, but if it happens, it happens.

also i had to rewatch the third season where tsukishima got hurt, so that it would be my reference. (hurt me deadass.)

lastly- i apologize this took so long to be made, school (my science teacher) has been really affecting my mental health badly for the past week so i wasn’t able to create this to the best of my abilities, but i hope that you share and love this as much as you do with my previous works!

-

WARNING: Angst but with a fluff ending! Also crack cause why not?

WHO: Tsukishima Kei x Reader

ADDITIONAL INFO: F/N means friend’s name.

-

You’ve always been close with Tsukishima. Quite literally, you both were neighbours. Yamaguchi joined in later after Tsukki stood up for him against those childhood bullies. Plus you on the side intimidating them getting ready to beat the shizzles out of them though Tsukishima dragged your ass back home.

“Earth to Y/N?” Tsukishima’s hand waved in front of your dazed face.

“Tsukki, she’s not breathing,” Yamaguchi had exclaimed. Tsukishima looked at you before bonking you on the head.

“Ow, you lil bitch.” you tsked rubbing your head.

“Yamaguchi got worried, idiot.” Tsukishima replied back and you looked at Yamaguchi who sighed.

“Aww, my pretty baby, were you worried about me~” You wrapped an arm around the back of his neck to bring him down, squishing your cheeks with his and rubbing his hair.

“You’re gonna make him combust.” Tsukishima said with an irritated voice.

“I-it’s fine, Tsukki.” Yams waved him off and Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

“I was just complimenting him...” you said with a pout before fixing Yamaguchi’s hair and giving him a small smile.

“Oh hey guys!” your friend’s head popped out of the classroom.

“Hey,” you waved at them.

“Oh, hey F/N,” Tsukishima said.

“Hey, Tsukishima! ” your friend said giving him a small smile. You noticed them placing a hand on his upper arm as you awkwardly stood there with Yamaguchi.

Your friend and Tsukishima continued talking in the hallway, discussing with each other. You watched them as they continued talking and ignored both you and Yamaguchi. It hurt your heart a little knowing that he wasn’t going to be paying you the same amount of attention that he does for them.

“Do you wanna leave to head to class first?” you tugged at Yamaguchi’s sleeve to whisper in his ear.

“Sure,” he nodded.

“Sorry to interrupt you two, but Yamaguchi and I are going to leave first,” you indicated.

“I’ll see you later Tsukki.” Yams said waving at him and Tsukishima sent a nod of approval before his focus was back onto your friend.

“Do you have practice after school?” you asked Yamaguchi while walking to class.

“Yeah, why are you asking?”

“Oh, I was just wondering if you, and Tsukki wanted to hang out later today.”

“I should be free after practice. I’ll ask Tsukki about it later.”

“Okie dokie! I should head in now, thanks for walking me to class, Yamaguchi.” you said giving him a smile and a small little wave.

“B-bye, Y/N! See you later!” he waved back with a shy smile.

-

“Hey, Y/N, do you like anyone at the moment?” your friend asked as she touched up her lip tint in front of the mirror.

“Uh, no- how about you?” you lied as a way to cover up your hidden feelings for him.

“Yeah...”

“Oh really, who is it?”

“Tsukishima.” you expression blanked. You zoned out but snapped to reality when your friend waved her hand in front of you.

“A-ah I see. What do you like about him?”

“Well for pointers, he’s tall, he’s also smart, calm and overall he’s very intriguing. He’s also cute and handsome.”

“Woah, that’s... a lot?”

“Right! So can you help me out?”

“How?”

“You’re like good friends with Tsukishima right? How do I make him go on a date with me?”

“Say what?”

“You know, a date.”

“Oh, uhm... Just ask him to help you study some material from class..? I’m pretty sure he has volleyball after school, but I’m sure he’ll help you out..”

“Thank you so much!” she side hugged you before leaving the bathroom.

Ha...Ha... I hope it goes well for her, then...

-

“TSUKISHIMAAAA!” you ran towards his direction to jump onto his back.

“Get off of me woman!” Tsukishima said carrying you.

“Never!” you giggled hanging onto him for dear life. 

“Hey guys- oh, nevermind...” Yamaguchi came in with a smile plastered on his face but slowly turned into a flat line.

“Oi, Yamaguchi, pull her off me will you?” Tsukishima said grunting.

“WAIT- DON’T DO IT- I’ll get off after you answer my question.”

“What is it?”

“Are you free after practice?”

“No I am not. I have to help F/N with studying her material.” 

“Oh yeahhh.” you said getting off of Tsukishima and standing there to face him.

“Why?”

“I was planning on hanging out with Yamaguchi, and you like the good old times, though it seems that both of you have a little study date.” you cheekily said nudging him. thump, thump

“Shut up.”

“We all know it’s true giraffe.” you rolled your eyes smirking. thump, thump

“Whatever you baked bean.”

“A baked be- a BAKED BEAN?” you jumped bonking him on the head causing him to wince in pain.

“Bake bean that, bAKE BEAN THAT.” you landed in front of him staring at Tsukishima with a fiery look. He smirked while scoffing looking into your eyes. 

Something had caused Tsukishima to look away faster than ever as he looked to his side quickly.

“Anyways, I guess I’ll just hang out with Yamaguchi, right?” you turn to him and his body shot up with a smile and pink plastered across his face.

“Y-Yeah!” he gave a smile and you smiled back before clapping.

“Alrighty then! Yams, I’ll be at the park closest to our neighbourhood. See you later!” you said waving at him before turning around. “Oh, and good luck on your date Tsukishima!”

“Thanks...”

Damn it, Y/N. Why does your heart have to beat every time you look at him. You need to stop crushing on him. He doesn’t even like you and is probably interested in F/N. She’s prettier than you, more entertaining and is better than you in general. Just stop this silly crush...

He’ll never like somebody like you.

-

“Boo!”

“AHHH!” You laughed seeing Yamaguchi’s expression.

“Sorry, Yamaguchi~” you said before sitting next to him on the swings.

“It’s okay, Y/N.. So where do you plan to go?”

“Oh, right! Let’s go to the cafe nearby!”

“Sure! Lead the way.” You grabbed ahold of Yamaguchi’s hand before dragging him to the cafe. His face sparked with pink and it made him turn quiet.

“It shouldn’t be far away so we should be there before it closes.” as you turn the corner you recognize the sign and immediately speed up. You both enter the shop examining the place.

“What would you like? I’ll buy it for you.” you smiled looking up to him.

“Are you sure? I can just purchase it for myself.”

“No need to! Take this as a repayment to hanging out with me even though I know you have to study for an upcoming test.”

“H-How did you know?”

“You mentioned it to me a few days ago, so I thought this would help be a breather for you.” 

“Thank you.”

“Now tell me what you would like, so I can order it for you.”

“A vanilla milkshake, please and thank you.”

“Alright! Go find us a seat, I’ll find you later.” before parting ways with Yamaguchi to the register.

“Hi there, what would you like today?”

“May I please get a vanilla shake and your smile cookie?”

“That will be $3.15″ you handed the cashier the money, “Thank you.”

Yamaguchi’s drink soon was made alongside your cookie served on the side. You searched the seats and found Yamaguchi sitting by a window seat near the back.

“One vanilla shake for Mr. Yamaguchi.” you jokingly placed a weird accent.

“Pfttttt, that was so stupid,” Yamaguchi laughed at your horrible accent.

“Oh be quiet.” You sat down munching on your cookie. “How’s volleyball? I heard you guys have a match with Shiratorizawa in two days.” 

“Volleyball has been good. I managed to get my jump floats over the net, and yeah, we got finals against Shiratorizawa.”

“Looks like your practice is paying off. I’m really proud of you, Yamaguchi.” 

“T-Thank you, but I wouldn’t be able to do it without the help of Mr. Makoto.” The small chime at the door rung alerting that someone came in. You glimpsed upwards and saw Tsukishima with F/N. shit.

“I-is something wrong?” Yamaguchi asked wanting to turn his head but you shook your head aggressively.

“Nothing is wrong, not at all.” you smiled keeping your eyes slightly on Tsukishima.

“Hey look it’s Yamaguchi and Y/N!” your friend pointed towards you guys.

“Oh hey guys, what are you doing here?” Yamaguchi said.

“Studying.” Tsukishima plainly spoke.

“We should get seats close by to them right, Tsukishima-kun? So we’ll see you soon, yeah?” your friend touched Tsukishima’s arm dragging him to a table close by.

“Hey, Y/N are you good?” Yamaguchi dragged your attention back to him.

“Uhm, sorry, as I was previously saying, I just know you’re doing really well. It’s a shame I can’t see you in action in person.” you said to Yamaguchi continuing the conversation that was paused.

“P-Please do come!” Yamaguchi exclaimed and you looked confused.

“You know, Tsukishima doesn’t want me at the matches. He says I would be too loud...” you quietly spoke to Yamaguchi.

“Please, Y/N, do this for me? It’s finals and it would be a shame if I didn’t see you in the stands cheering on for us.” Yamaguchi’s bold move of holding hands caught you off guard. They were warm and big. Very welcoming. 

Tsukishima’s eyes trailed over to your hands being held by Yamaguchi - which caused him to clutch onto his pencil a little harder than he should have.

“Because you asked so nicely and cause you’re adorable, I’ll come. But if I don’t see you on the court playing, I would be devastated.” you dramatically spoke before giggling and continuing to chat with Yamaguchi.

It soon turned darker outside, meaning the cafe was closing soon too. Hanging out with Yamaguchi was fun today even though Tsukishima was helping F/N study. thump, thump

“Thank you again, Y/N. It was very nice of you to do this for me.”

“Ahhh stopppp, you needed this. Besides, I am glad you invited me to come watch. I’m very excited and look forward to it!” you said.

“It’s getting pretty late and dark, do you want me to walk you home?” Yamaguchi offered and you looked surprised before smiling and nodding. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Tsukishima and F/N.”

“Yeah, see you guys tomorrow! Make sure to walk her home, Tsukishima! You don’t want her to walk alone, do you?” you announced teasing him before exiting the building and turning your smile upside down.

thump. thump.

-

“Shit I’m late- I can already hear them play.” you sped up on walking up the stairs to Karasuno’s stand. You found a spot in the stands near the back. You watched as both teams played and saw Yamaguchi serving but no Tsukishima. You just figured he was in the corner with his other teammates because your vision couldn’t find him from that far.

“GO YAMAGUCHI!!!!!!” you cheered as he served perfectly to the other side of the team. 

“Hey lady, can you quiet down?” a boy with glasses asked. You stared at him in confusion.

“Apologies, but I’m cheering on for my friends and their team. Also, aren’t you supposed to cheer for them too?” you questioned, crossing your arms.

“We aren’t from Karasuno or here to really cheer for either teams.” the boy with glasses spoke.

“Then why are you here...?”

“We’re observing them.”

“D-don’t tell me you’re spying on them.”

“Why yes I am, miss lady.” 

“Oikawa, cut it out.” a boy with a deeper voice beside him said hitting the boy in the glasses.

“Iwa-chan~” Oikawa spoke holding his hurt spot.

“My apologies, he can be troublesome.” Iwa said apologising.

“It’s alright...Uhm, if you don’t mind... Can you tell me where Tsukishima Kei is?”

“Can you describe him?” Iwa asked.

“He’s tall, has glasses, blonde and a real b- I mean butt.” you smiled covering up your slip.

“Oh his hand got injured and he was bleeding-” 

“Okay thanks,” that was all it took for you to go down the stairs before turning to the exit and dashing down the stairs to the infirmary.

“Damn it, Tsukishima.” you ran trying to find the infirmary. That’s when you saw Yachi stand outside talking with Akiteru.

“Yachi! Akiteru!” you spoke up and they turned around.

“Oh hey, Y/N. How are you-” they both spoke but you cut them off.

“Where’s Tsukishima?” you asked in a panic.

“He’s inside being treated.”

“What happened?”

“He went for a block against one of the players and got his hand injured.”

“Is it alright for me to go inside to check up on him?” you asked desperately.

“Sure. I think he needs you right now.”

“Thank you.” As you knocked on the door and heard a small “come in”.

“Oh hey, Y/N-”

“I’m so sorry I’m late, but are you okay? I heard your hand got treated, but still-” you cupped his face wearing a worried expression looking deeply into his eyes.

“I-I’m fine, Y/N...”

“No you’re not. Look at your hand,”

“I said I’m fine, Y/N.”

“Fine?!?!? Tsukishima! Your hand was bleeding- are you kidding me? You can’t just say you’re fine after your hand was bleeding! Kei, I am so worried for you and it hurts my heart to see you like this. I just- I can’t seem to see you hurt, cause then I want to cry and there’s nothing I can do about it. Like fuck- is this what feelings do to you? I just love you so much and it pains me seeing you down- oh no...” you rumbled on and gasped covering your mouth quickly realizing what came out of your mouth.

“W-wait what?” Tsukishima’s eyes widened hearing that.

“I-it’s nothing, you didn’t hear anything.”

“No. I heard something.” He stood up towering over you. 

“No, you did not.”

“Something about having feelings for me?” he smirked looking down at you. Your face flushed pink.

“O-okay, maybe I do! So what? It’s not like you have feelings for me! I know they’re all for F/N and not me! I mean come on! I’m only your friend, and there is nothing I can do about it! F/N is so much more confident, lively, bubbly, pretty and an overall good if not amazing person! Of course you would have fallen for her! She’s in your league and I’m not! I just wanted to be somebody to someone already! And that someone is you, but I’m here looking like a complete-” the feeling of Tsukishima’s lips pressed against your forehead caused you to stop your sentence to look up at him.

“A complete unique individual that I somehow managed to fall for not only because of their looks or how they act, but for what they do and dedicate their time and effort to. Yes I have fallen for someone but that someone isn’t F/N. It’s you, Y/N.” Tsukishima said looking down at you with soft eyes that were filled with stars. His expression was soft and caring. You noticed how close your faces were when you saw how clear his honey like eyes shined under the bright lights.

“You are insanely beautiful, and someone I treasure so much. You’ve been with me since day one and I can not thank you enough for being there with me. I appreciate you so much but I don’t know how to physically show you all these emotions I pent up and hidden from you. Y/N, you should never look down on yourself like that. Besides, what’s so fun of having something in my league when I can go for something bigger?” Tsukishima wrapped his free arm around your waist to pull you in closer to him. Bodies pressed together and absorbing his heat.

“You’re not playing with me... Are you?” you asked in concern.

Tsukishima took his fragile hand to place it behind your head to press against his chest where his heart was. You heard the fast pace rhythm of his heart beating loudly against his ribcage. Tears slowly slid down your cheeks out of happiness.

“Now do you believe me?” he asked with a small smile. You nodded your head and hugged him to hide your blushing face and dried up tears.

“I-I hate you.”

“Mhm, sure you do.”

“D-Don’t you have a match to attend back to???”

“You’re right,” He gave you a quick kiss on the lips before heading towards the door, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” you sent a smile to him before he smiled back and left the infirmary with a whole different mindset.

The mindset where his thoughts were no longer clouded with jealousy or doubt, but with the burning passion for volleyball, a plan to defeat Shiratorizawa and now you.

-

[waithyuck]

touch

pairing: ghost!zhong chenle x reader (f) *halloweenie special*

genre: supernatural au, fluff (with suggestive tones)

word count: like 2k cuz I suck

warnings: one lil mention of murder, themes of haunting, suggestive content (like kissin and some heavy petting, but nothing explicit y’all), non consensual touching (not in a sexual way, more like ‘omg I think a ghost touched me’ yk), explicit language, chenle is a lil lonely ghost boi, reader simps for him,,,,and forms a relationship,,,,with a ghost,,,,

a/n: FUCK IT ITS FINALLY DONE. FUCK. is this edited??? HAHAH. no

< previous

~12/17/2020~

~~~~

moving out on your own for the first time was hands down probably the scariest thing you’ve had to do in your short life. sure, finding a place that was relatively cheap had you excited at the possibility of having a sense of responsibility, and getting away from your parents was a definite plus, but the entire prospect of being alone was, well, terrifying.

you probably should have asked more questions when agreeing to move into said place; a one bedroom apartment that was big enough to fit you and you only. it was cute and clean, and it was all you needed with the minimal amount of things you had.

the cheap price didn’t raise any red flags in your admittedly stupid and naive brain, but it definitely should have. you cursed yourself looking back at not inquiring about exactly why it was affordable.

about two weeks in is when some weird shit started to go down.

you expected there to be the usual noises that occur in an apartment building, but the ones you heard in the early hours of the morning, every morning, seemed a little bit different.

it sounded like small sniffling, like crying, and sometimes the floorboards would creak softly outside your bedroom door, scaring you beyond belief. you even went as far to ask you neighbor if they had been crying every night, to which she looked at you like you had gone nuts.

the touches started not too long after that.

you felt like you were going insane, but you would swear on whatever god you needed to that there was something touching you at night.

light, feather like traces across the skin of your arms, light presses against your face and shoulders, and the occasional cold poke against your legs had you almost ready to give up on the apartment entirely.

you couldn’t leave though; if you were to break the contract you signed, you would lose an incredible amount of money just for vacating early.

you tried to convince yourself it was just your imagination; stupid childlike paranoia from watching horror movies as a kid.

however much you tried, nothing would be able to convince what was before you currently, was part of your imagination.

“woah, what the fuck?!” you screamed, your eyes widening at the sight of the extremely pale boy standing a few feet in front of you. “who the fuck are you?” you clutched what remained of the pile of laundry in your arms, the rest fallen onto the floor as your heart seemingly beat through your rib cage when he stared back at you in awe.

“wait, you can see me?” he asked quietly, his mouth agape as your face screwed up in confusion.

“what? of course I can see you, what the actual fuck?” you blurted back, subconsciously taking a small step backward, dropping the rest of the clothes as the boy seemed to float forward. his feet didn’t touch the ground and he seemed to slowly become more translucent the farther down his body you looked, shocking you even more.

“oh my god,” your breath was staggered as you became to realize what this boy actually was. “oh my god, are you dead?!”

“well that’s one way to put it, yeah.” he stayed out where he was, not moving forward any more into your space. “I’m a ghost.” he put both his hands up and gave a small sheepish smile. “ta-daaa…”

your brows furrowed in confusion, your idiotic human brain trying to process what was actually going on in your apartment right now.

“so wait a minute,” you started suddenly, bracing your hand on the wall beside you to keep yourself steady. “have you been the one touching me at night? what the hell, dude??” you weren’t sure how it was possible, but a blush rose to his ghostly cheeks.

“I didn’t mean anything creepy by it…” he softly spoke, looking down at his feet. “I just haven’t felt any human contact in a...very long time. I’m sorry.”

you wanted to be more angry at him, but then thoughts swirled into your mind of how lonely he must have been, and how long he could have possibly been here on his own.

you continued to converse with the ghost boy (crazy, you were aware) and came to find out that he was actually straight up murdered in this exact apartment about twenty years ago. the most surprising part was that the damn apartment building you were living in has been around that long, considering it’s shady history.

chenle was visibly upset talking about it, sparing the gory details but explaining enough for you to understand that he was killed in his sleep during a robbery turned hostile. it made your heart ache knowing that he died alone, and has been alone ever since.

sure, there were people living in this place before you, but no one stayed long, for obvious reasons. they either found out the history of the murder or were scared away by chenle who was just trying to fill the whole in his dead, ghostly heart.

“you’re gonna leave, aren’t you?” he finally asked, his voice somber.

you did consider it before, but now it felt wrong to do, especially after meeting and somewhat befriending the exact thing that was potentially going to drive you away.

“no,” you replied solidly, shocking him as his head shot up to look at you. “I’m not going anywhere, now that I know you’re not gonna like, try to kill me or anything.”

you tried to joke to make the atmosphere more lighthearted, and it seemed to work as a chuckle escaped him. you sat in silence for a few moments, before a realization hit you.

“wait, wait,” you put a hand out in front of you in emphasis, surprising the boy in front of you. “how are you able to touch things?” you paused for a moment, “and me?”

the boy, chenle, rolled his eyes at you before looking at you with a void expression. “jeez, everyone has the stereotypes so messed up. have you ever seen the movie ghost with patrick swayze? it came out in like 1990.”

you blinked at him a few times before nodding slowly, having an idea of where he was going with his point.

“yeah well, it’s like that,” he paused, coming closer to you and reaching his hand out tentatively, trying to gauge your reaction. “if we just practice enough,” He was close now, directly in front of you with his hand hovering over your arm. “we can touch whatever we want, whenever we want.” his hand wrapped around your wrist gently to prove his words to be true, and you softly gasped at the feeling, still trying to wrap your head around this crazy scenario you were living in.

“that’s nice,” you said, slightly nervous at your own reaction to him touching you. you couldn’t deny that it didn’t feel nice to have someone caress your skin so gently…

he stared at you silently, his face seemingly emotionless as he held you. it didn’t take a genius to decipher the look in his eyes, however. glistening with life and longing, looking at you like you were the only person in the world...and you supposed to him, you were.

“you’re so…” he started, his voice quiet as his other hand reached out to touch your face. hesitant at first, he drew his hand back a millimeter, before letting his fingers brush against your cheek as you sighed and found yourself leaning into him. “pretty. so pretty.”

it seemed crazy; this raw form of attraction at first sight that you were feeling. you had no doubt he was experiencing it too, just from his confession alone.

your lips parted to speak, but no words came forth as you brain short circuited, taking in his handsome features as you finally realized just how attractive he was.

the hand that was holding your wrist slowly slid up your arm, causing your skin to prickle at the sensation of his touch on your skin. it slid up over your shoulder and up your neck, to finally rest on your cheek like his other hand was now doing.

the moment was insanely soft and intimate, and even though his hands were slightly cold, the air around you both seemed to grow warmer and warmer with every passing second, almost suffocating you with each shaking breath you took.

without a second thought, you lunged forward into his space, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and kissing him softly, his hands dropping from your cheeks to rest on your waist as a surprised grunt came from within him.

‘this is so crazy’, you thought, leading him into your room as you kept your lips attached, ‘absolutely insane.’

you weren’t sure how this even came to happen; you’d never thought you’d be flat on your back against your mattress while a literal ghost boy ran his hands up and down your waist as he kissed you like a man starved. you were still slightly convinced that he was a figment of your imagination; he felt so real, nothing like what you assumed a ghost would feel like against your skin.

his hands weren’t as warm as a living humans would be, but you still relished in the feeling of his fingers gripping at the skin of your waist, holding you close to him as he kissed you without holding back.

you highly expected him to be shy and inexperienced; since he had died so young you figured he wouldn’t know what to do.

it was a stupid assumption, to say the least.

you gripped his hair gently and tried to sit up, only to have him keep you down as he sweetly moved his mouth against your own. his grip was becoming more needy and before it could go too far, you pulled back.

you relished in the sight of his red puffy lips, seemingly so alive and human, like blood was still coursing through his veins. his eyes showed wide, blown out pupils as he stared down at you, his eyes hooded slightly.

he licked his lips once before softly falling beside you, his shoulder brushing yours as you both laid in the middle of your mattress in a calming silence.

“well that was a strange turn of events.” you panted, curling your body beside him as you tried to catch your breath. who knew that a dead boy would be such a damn good kisser?

he smirked at you in response, not saying anything as he grabbed your hand in his.

“now you definitely can’t go anywhere. I’m attached.” he teased, looking at you longingly with a cheeky smile on his face. you rolled your eyes but still smiled nonetheless, knowing that you wouldn’t be going anywhere anyway, for a very long time.

you weren’t sure how this was all going to work out, but you’d figure it out as you went along, together.

[donkey-hyuck]

𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒃; 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝒓𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒂: 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔

three card spreads↴

tarot cards;

the hermit (upright) 

contemplation, search for truth, inner guidance

strength (upright)

inner strength, bravery, compassion, focus

the emperor (reversed)

tyranny, rigidity, coldness

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

word count- 18,355 (woah wtf😳) 

genre- angst baby || fluff || yk just pure angst || high school! au in the beginning || college!au || bittersweet ||

characters/pairing- kinda popular kid!lee jeno x fem!volleyball player!reader || nct dream including mark || sooyoung

warnings- swearing | mentions of cheating but only accusations | dialogue heavy | lowercase letters intended | over usage of words bc i’m irrelevant | spelling/grammar mistakes | a whole relationship rollercoaster | jeno’s a dickhead | lots of self pondering

introduction- maybe you two just had enough of each other. being involved in one another’s lives could have just taken a huge toll on the both of you. so after finally separating practically your whole lives, you may both think you’re fine; but inside, neither of you can let each other go. one heated argument leads to another and you may have just lost your best friend, the love of your life… or maybe you didn’t…. or maybe you did.

taglist! @badwithten​, @jenoji​, @joyfuleggsfishbanana​, @proseeuhn​, @danishmiilk​

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

“mommy! jeno just pulled my hair!” your five year old self shouted as five year old jeno huffed and turned the other way. his mother had been out for the day for a job interview and your mother had promised to take care of him. the two of your mothers’ had been friends since middle school, grew up together, went through their adolescence, helped each other with university work. they were the best of friends, inseparable. and when they found out they were both pregnant at the same time, they were ecstatic to raise their children together.

you and jeno had known each other your entire lives up to that point. he was only four months older than you but he acted as if he was so superior, and it just made you ticked off. throughout elementary school—mostly kindergarten and first grade— the two of you never got along and fought constantly. your mothers’ tried to make you like each other but to no avail.

“mom! y/n pinched me!” five year old jeno yelled to his mother as you stuck your tongue out at him and crossed your arms. your mother had brought you along to their house when that happened and it just seemed as if the two of you would never get along.

but all that changed when you entered middle school. well, not completely, but you had his back when he needed it. mostly when you were forced to help tutor jeno in your science class, or when he had a crush on one of your good friends. he had your back too, telling you not to get into fights with the girls who thought they were so much better than you, or trying to set you up on dates with his friends. middle school was truly a place where you and jeno put away whatever feud the two of you had going on. middle school with jeno was actually fun, graduating your eighth grade class, messing around with teachers, meeting new friends. there was just so much enjoyment for the both of you during those years.

when high school came along, the two of you had been in separate classes, you being put in advanced placement and jeno being put in stem. that was kind of the first time you have been separated from each other at school. during your primary days, you and jeno had the same schedules and it seemed like fate wanted you two together. but when you entered high school, you were both more distant toward each other, specifically during all of junior and most of senior year.

freshman year was more of an experience. it was weird to not see jeno through the halls, let alone not have classes with him. but the two of you were just as inseparable as your mothers’, and met up with each other after school anyway, whether it was your mom picking the two of you up or his.

you were two peas in a pod and had seemed to always be teased by your peers, even when you denied liking each other. if it was true or not, no one had believed you and the two of you were stuck as the couple throughout the entirety of freshman year.

“true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart.” as you two said.

but new years of 2016 all changed the way jeno had perceived you. he was invited to a new years party with a few of his friends— na jaemin and lee donghyuck— and jeno had seemingly been gullible enough to believe the lies people were saying about you. about how you started the rumor of him dating a model his age from overseas, the rumor about him making out with younghee during his free period one thursday morning, or the rumor about him liking eunseo. he was furious to know that you were the one who spread all of the gossip around school, pushing past the idea that you and him had been connected by the hip since you were born. pushing past the idea that you truly weren’t like that. but jeno was enraged, nonetheless.

while he was feeding off of lies people had told him that night, your family— as well as his— were spending the new year right. you and your family had been invited to the lee’s for the countdown and you noticed your best friend wasn’t there.

“y/n! jeno’s not here, he’s with donghyuck and jaemin for a new years party tonight. i hope you won’t be bored here,” said his mother with a look of disappointment in her eyes. you shook your head and smiled, “it’s okay, aunty. i have minjung!” although you were excited to have some alone girl time with his older sister, jeno had never told you about attending a new years party that night. and to think about it more, hyuck nor jaem had told you either. it was weird. but you just pushed that all aside and walked down the hall to minjung’s room. at the time you were fifteen and she was eighteen and a well-known senior at your high school.

“minjung!” you bursted through her door and she immediately ran to hug you. “y/n! i missed you!” she hugged back as nal nudged your calf in a greeting. picking up the feline, you walked out of the room to eat and sit in the living room to play some family games.

your two families counted down together and it was officially 2016. your parents had decided to stay for another hour before going back home. but during that hour, hyuck’s mom had dropped off jeno and he was met with your families laughing and having the time of their lives together. another year, another long friendship that was to never end; or so your parents thought.

jeno came home upset that night. he felt betrayed and disappointed that you would say those things about him but all the more that made him angry. his mother had greeted him but he coldly shook it off and took to his room. you were shocked, jeno never acted that way towards his mother. you didn’t notice how quiet it was until your parents nudged you to talk to him.

“uhm.. aunty, uncle. i’ll go talk to jeno, see what’s up with him.” and for some unknown reason, you were nervous walking down to his bedroom.

carefully, you knocked and let yourself slide through the door, “jen…? are you okay? why’d you do that to your mom?” your voice was soft, just more of a way to not trust you. you were a hoax. at least, to jeno you were.

“i’m fine, y/n. get out of my room, i need to shower,” he rushed you out only making you want to say and ask a million questions about what was going on in that moment.

“no. what’s wrong with you? what happened tonight?” your brows furrowed and that was when he turned to you with stone cold eyes.

“none of your business. now get out!”

you don’t think jeno had made you cry since you were little but this was the first time a tear had shed because of the person you cared most about. however, you could never really recall why you cried that night. it wasn’t a bawling kind of cry, more of a sniffly kind of cry. whether it was frustration or shock, you walked out of his room as you wiped your tears with your sweater. it’s probably only a mood, you tried to convince yourself.

boy were you wrong.

the next few months were like this; you constantly trying to get jeno’s attention, crying about losing your best friend, and questioning what had happened to get him so upset at you. it was all a mind-fuck and you missed jeno. and by the time sophomore year was over, you and jeno had seemed to become less and less involved with each other when your parents were invited to their house or vice versa. around midway summer vacation before junior year, you stopped trying to get jeno’s attention because you clearly didn’t matter to him anymore.

both of your parents were confused as to why you stopped talking all of a sudden. you two still saw each other, yes, but there was nothing past the glaring looks of pure hatred. ever since that night, there was never a spare of words between the two of you and your mothers’ were worried.

one morning, before driving off to school, your mother had asked you, “y/n, why don’t you and jeno talk anymore?

“jeno, why don’t you and y/n talk anymore?”

“he’s a jerk, mom. it’s complicated.”

“she’s fake, mom. it’s complicated.”

—

graduation was two months away and it had been officially two years and a couple months since your friendship breakup.

“hello!! earth to y/n,” waved hyuck with his hands in front of your face. “what’s up with you right now?”

after breaking the news to mutual friends, donghyuck had been stuck between the two of you for the longest time but opted to just stay friends with you and jeno because that wasn’t a petty thing to do. jaemin on the other hand, was a different story. after jeno told jaemin you weren’t friends before he told hyuck, jaemin had texted you to meet by the library to ‘talk.’ turned out, jaemin wanted to stay loyal to his friend and disregard you and your feelings; and that was the end of that relationship. so you basically lost two of your bestest friends within a span of a week without a clue as to why. that was the big question, though…. why?

you blinked as you looked toward his direction. “what do you want, hyuck?” he sighed before answering, “first class is free period, dummy. mrs. choi isn’t here today.” you slowly sighed as well, as donghyuck took you by your hand and dragged you out of the empty classroom.

“let’s go to mr. park’s. we can stay there until class ends. today’s long period anyway,” he explained, dragging you down the hall and up two flights of stairs. donghyuck barged into the room causing everyone to immediately look at the loud boy crashing the lecture.

“lee donghyuck! y/f/n! what are you two doing here? shouldn’t you be in mrs. choi’s room?” mr. park raised a brow.

“ayy mr. park! y/n and i are here because mrs. choi couldn’t make it to class today. besides, you’re our favorite teacher, why else would we come here?” the teacher hummed and excused you to sit at his, fairly large, desk. “just don’t bother my students,” he warned, mostly talking to hyuck. he only responded in a wink and signed a ‘keep going.’

about twenty minutes of unproductive work had passed and you finally looked up to observe the students in mr. park’s stem class. his room wasn’t that big and there were only about nineteen to twenty-four kids in the class. scanning the room, your eyes were met with jeno’s. you slightly snickered as your eyes twitched in annoyance and turned to hyuck.

“hey, guess who’s here.” his brows furrowed as he looked around, finally getting to see jeno. but being the good friend that he was, hyuck waved at jeno before greeting him. they apparently had a handshake and mr. park seemed to notice as he told hyuck to sit back down and for jeno to focus on his work. the tan boy pouted before sitting back at his seat, making some of the girls laugh.

he came back to sit next to you and you rolled your eyes toward jeno and turned to the boy. “really?”

“whaaat? just because you two aren’t friends doesn’t mean that he and i can’t.” what hyuck said was true. you shouldn’t let your aggravation get the best of you. it was donghyuck’s decision to be and to not be friends with people. you huffed out a fine and turned back to your laptop that does not have any completed assignments— though there were only two that you hadn’t done yet. but you knew that free period class was gonna be torture for the next hour or so.

your second period class was, fortunately, in mr. park’s room with hyuck. however, jeno happened to have mrs. choi for second period and asked mr. park to stay in his class for the time being. so while the three of you waited for the students to attend, jeno and hyuck had been messing around and the room filled with their laughter. soon, as the teacher was getting ready for his class, a couple of your extroverted classmates joined along in their joking as you just sat quietly next to hyuck.

while ten minutes had passed of mr. park talking and explaining something along the lines of graphical analysis, hyuck whispered, “what’s up with you today? you’re eerily quieter than usual.” yeah… why were you quieter today?

“uh, i don’t know, hyuck. maybe i’m just not feeling it today, i guess,” you shrugged and looked back to the class work stuck on your desk. then your mind wandered off to the conversation you had with your mother that morning.

“how? you two were the best of friends. what happened to ‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart?’” she asked, shoving down a spoonful of rice. but you just shrugged and replied, “hm, i don’t know, mom. he hasn’t spoken a word to me since new years of 2016. it’s been two years. besides, if he doesn’t want to be friends with me without telling the reason, then that’s on him. i quit trying a long time ago.”

it was true. after jeno pushed you off on multiple occasions, you had stopped trying to get on good terms again. he was the immature one in the first place; you just tried to fix whatever was going on.

but soon enough, second period was over and out you were to mr. yang’s ap chemistry class. sooyoung— one of your closest girl friends— had happened to be in that class as well so when you entered the room she immediately called you over. you sat down at the lab table where she was seated and rested your face against it.

“what’s wrong, y/n?” she asked, making you look up at her while rubbing your face from all the questions about your sudden change in behavior.

“nothing much. well… mrs. choi isn’t here today so hyuck dragged me to mr. park’s class and that asshole lee jeno was in there,” you explained to her but she got confused because you never really associated yourself with him since the sudden split. she was about to ask why you were so caught up with him all of a sudden but it was as if you could read her mind because your next sentence was, “my mom asked me about him this morning. she’s still bugging me about why we aren’t friends… his mom too, i’m sure. and i’ve just been thinking about it. usually she would ask and i would answer the same and be fine but i guess today is just not my day.” you'd be lying if you said you didn’t miss lee jeno. you truly did. after all the shenanigans you’ve been through, lee jeno was always by your side.

ugh just stop thinking about it. you told yourself, mentally slapping your face and turning toward the board. but throughout the entire class, you did not pay attention to a word that came out of mr. yangs’ mouth.

once the bell rang, you were snapped out of your trance and quickly packed your things to go to your fourth class of the day— mrs. lim.

walking up the stairs, you met donghyuck in the halls and told him to hurry to mrs. lim’s class before she gets upset. providentially, mrs. lim was short period and there wasn’t much to do besides take notes.

“y/n who do you have next?” donghyuck asked as he waited for you to walk to the door and out to the hallway. “language with ms. jung. you should know this by now, hyuck,” you playfully shook your head and punched his shoulder. he ignored it and asked another question, “oh! so you have first lunch?” you nodded and walked down the stairs to the first floor library.

“yeah but i’m not gonna eat. plus, i don’t know anyone during my lunch.”

hyuck dramatically covered his mouth and gasped. “yes you do, what the fuck? hello… me, duh!” you laughed at his extra self and stuck your hands in your pockets. “i mean besides you. everyone wants to sit with you anyways. and you know i don’t really eat lunch.” your response only made him pout and look at you with a weird face expression. “you know i would rather sit with you any day right, y/n?” you smiled brightly and looked at him. “... i know, but i’m just not hungry. i’ll be in the library for lunch, and after ms. jung’s class. mrs. bae isn’t here today either so i’m just going to spend my time there.”

he muttered in disappointment as he dropped you off at the library before heading to the cafeteria.

“bye stupid. thanks for walking with me.” he smirked and turned around. “bye ugly. i’ll see you here in two hours. love you.”

“love you too.” but a pair of brown eyes watched the whole scene. the scene that made his heart slowly break.

you walked into the library and sat at a vacant three seater table and pulled out whatever you had to finish out of your bag. five minutes had passed of you typing on your computer when a fellow junior— park jisung— walked through the double doors and immediately recognized his favorite senior— you.

“y/n!” he whisper shouted while speed walking to the table you were sitting at. smiling at him, you pulled the chair next to you so he would have a place to sit. then you asked him why he was here.

“mrs. choi isn’t present today so i’m just gonna stay here. mrs. bae isn’t here either, chenle’s gonna come during last period too,” he explained while getting out his computer and a notebook. mrs. bae was your ceramics teacher and it seemed like there were a lot of teachers absent that day; but it was only a regular friday.

after conversing with jisung for another twenty minutes the loud bell signified the end of first lunch and off you were to your language class with ms. jung. you left the library after packing up and bidding jisung a short ‘see ya later.’

however, you forgot lee jeno was also in ms. jung’s class with you until you saw the back of his head turn straight into her room. fuck.

shortly after he walked in and sat down, you walked through the door and toward the back of the class to sit at one of the desks. and you swore jeno was eyeing you down as you passed him, and not in a good way.

but to jeno… he was eyeing you because he just missed you. he missed hanging out with you, especially during class. ever since he had that chat with his mom that morning— as well as seeing you with hyuck in mr. park’s class, and seeing you two announce your appreciation towards each other— he realized that he fucking missed you. so much.

that day was a friday too, so your parents were definitely going over the lee’s tonight. mentally, you rolled your eyes and shut your brain from thinking anything else and to just listen to what ms. jung had planned for the day.

school was boring, though. and your class just continued doing whatever you did during your class, prior.

“okay guys! we’re together for short period on monday, make sure you finish your research over the weekend. you’re free to go.”

you just stuffed your notebook into your bag and walked up the aisle. but you stopped right when jeno had dropped his pen. he picked it up and looked at you,  quietly apologizing. you hadn’t heard him, though; he was too quiet so you just paused until he picked it up and walked out of class to the front lobby. he should’ve just spoken up but he was too late.

mrs. bae didn’t have a substitute to fill in for her so you walked to the library, planning to sit at the same table which, thankfully, already seated chenle and jisung. you sat across from the boys and sighed, laying your head down again.

“what’s wrong?” asked chenle. you lifted your head up and lazily smiled before shaking your head.

“nothing. today’s just been tiring, that’s all. you two do your work. i’m gonna try to take a nap.” they both nodded and let you rest for the remaining time, making sure to wake you up before the bell rang.

—

“hyuck!” you ran up to him. he picked you up from your house that morning and so he was going to drop you off. “we have to pick up jangmi today. she stayed after school to help her teachers prepare for their spring formal.”

“really? sungho stayed after school too. what a coincidence,” he chuckled as he unlocked the car door and started it up. jangmi was your little sister in seventh grade and sungho was donghyuck’s younger brother in the same grade, attending the same school. what your poor little sister didn’t know was that sungho had a tiny little crush on her. so said from sungho to hyuck. it was cute.

they both greeted the two of you and talked about their day staying after school.

“are you guys going to the dance together?” asked donghyuck with a slight laugh, making sungho flush red and stutter, “uh.. i don’t know. it’s up to jangmi. but i don’t have a date yet.” his little brothers response made hyuck laugh and you hit his stomach.

“don’t make fun of sungho. it’s not nice. jangmi, do you have a date for the formal?” you looked at her through the rear view mirror. “no. i don’t even know if i wanna go yet.” hyuck laughed again but you flicked his cheek before he could say anything else to his brother. and then it got awkwardly quiet in the backseat of the acura tlx.

“bye, jangmi! bye, y/n!” said hyuck and his brother. “same time tomorrow morning?” he asked after rolling down the window some more. you responded with a nod and walked into your house after waving one last time to the pair of siblings. only to be met with your mother rushing the two of you to change into something formal. your sister whined and asked why.

“we’re meeting at kwonsooksoo to have dinner with the lee’s.”

“but it’s only three p.m. why do we have to get ready now?” you furrowed your brows.

“because i know you girls will take forever. plus, it’s almost a two hour drive from here. we’re supposed to be meeting them at 7:30.”

that was a typical friday night. each of your parents spending way too much money on food that’ll be half finished by the time you left, awkward and nasty looks between you and jeno, and quiet conversations of you and minjung followed by jeno and jangmi.

so while fixing up the makeup on your face, you slowly stopped swiping the brush on your face and looked in the mirror at your reflection, then to the bedside table where you remember you hid a scrapbook from years ago. setting the brush down on your desk, you turned in the chair you were sitting in and opened the drawer to pick up the polaroid picture filled book.

covering the cream colored pages were silly pictures of the two of you from birth to elementary school, fun patterns of washi tape, and the messy handwriting of you and jeno. looking through the reminiscent book, you remembered the stash of old friendship items in a large shoe box hiding under your bed. quickly, you scrambled to the floor and dragged the dusty, wood-like box from its place.

you opened the top of the box and it looked like how you remembered it looked like when you packed it up two years ago. in the box contained some more photo albums and scrapbooks, a few framed pictures, letters that jeno wrote for your birthday—your seventh, tenth, and fourteenth— a few sheets of guitar notes, and a friendship bracelet each of you made for each other. and looking through all of the memories, a single tear had dropped from your face just as your mother walked in the room. she was going to tell you they were ready to leave until she stopped mid sentence, immediately looking sad at her daughter crying because of the friendship she used to have.

“auh… y/n,” her voice was soft as she knelt on the floor and cupped your cheeks in her palms. you just cried and hugged her, constantly saying that you missed him. you missed lee jeno so damn much. and you could never say it enough.

the lee’s never saw you that night. after that whole breakdown, your mother thought it was best to not let you go. it could’ve caused more erect feelings and she didn’t want that for you, even if she did want you to tell jeno that you missed him. but she didn’t force it on you, and they left the house to meet the lee’s without you.

the following hour, a knock was heard at your door.

it was na jaemin.

jaemin had lived in the area, but you were confused and shocked by his presence back in your life. hesitantly, you unlocked the door and there he stood. from the outside, you probably looked emotionless but on the inside, you were freaking the fuck out.

“na jaemin..? what are you doing here?” you had been straight to the point, not wanting to see his face any longer. but he just dryly chuckled and said, “my mom cut the power at my house. it’s gonna be out for a few days but i just wanted to see if you still lived in the area.” it sounded like he was mocking you and it made your eye twitch in annoyance and asked him what he wanted and why he was here.

“whaat? i can’t see an old friend?” that made you pissed and you shoved the door closed. though na jaemin had a fast reflex, and caught the door with his foot before opening it again. this time, your hand was rested on your hip and the other was holding the door, preventing it to be fully opened.

“we don’t like each other, remember. now spill it or i’ll crush your toes with my door.” you were still as sassy as he remembered and it made him genuinely smile this time.

“calm down, princess. i just really wanted to know if you were home since, you know, you and jeno’s family are out.” how did he know? lee jeno, that’s how. you just rolled your eyes and opened the door wider than it was before he just invited himself in your house. didn't he have any respect?

walking in after him, you watched as he sat down on your couch and you leaned on the wall. the space of your living room was quiet until he broke the silence.

“jeno said that you didn’t go with your family today… that’s why i’m here, okay.” he looked at you with guilt in his eyes.

to be honest, you missed jaemin almost as much as you missed jeno. you confessed it to hyuck, and you were almost 100% sure he told at least jaemin that you missed the two.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered out, “i miss you y/n… jeno and i both.”

you looked to the floor then back to the blonde boy, unbelievably. the boys were pranksters and this could be a sick joke.

“don’t lie to me, na,” you hissed out and pushed yourself off the wall to walk into the kitchen, jaemin following after. he sat at the island and watched as you rummaged through the fridge to find something to drink.

“i’m being sincere. we miss you a lot.”

scoffing, you left the kitchen to walk to your room. but you looked back at jaemin, sighed, and motioned him to follow you up to your room.

your room was still the same. the first door to the right when you walk up the stairs. of course, it had been revamped, but it still eluded the energy he always sensed from you since the two of you met. staring at jaemin scanning your room, you remembered how observant he was.

jaemin always knew when something was up, whether it was you being sad, you being frustrated, or when you were just zoning out. he knew you like the back of his hand, even if you didn’t know it. he was quiet but knowledgeable.

while looking around the room, jaemin noticed the old  photo albums opened and scattered on your bed. he walked to your bed and picked up the butterfly scrapbook. flipping through the pages, he smiled, and even slightly chuckled at the childish pictures and humorous comments that filled each page. when he was done looking through that photo book, he patted the seat next to him for you to sit down. grabbing the next scrapbook— a pokémon themed title page— he opened it up and leaned his head on your shoulder, causing you to freeze up.

it was as if he knew there were lots of pictures of him and hyuck in that specific book. it was your eighth grade memory book and you had known hyuck and jaemin for three years prior to that. the sweet smile was still on his face the entire time he flipped through the pages. he read and detected every picture and every little blurb of writing on each page, knowing whose handwriting was who’s.

“i missed this a lot,” he muttered while caressing the printed out picture of the four of you during your eighth grade graduation ceremony. then he glanced up at you. looking nowhere in particular, you whispered out, “me too. so much.” jaemin then sat up and faced you, wiping the tears escaping your eyes. you then looked at him.

“you know, y/n… jeno still has the friendship bracelet you made him,” he said, looking at the colorful arrangement of beads sitting on the floor. “actually, jeno has a lot of things in his room that remind him of you.” he leaned his head against your shoulder once more, lightly wrapping his arms around you to embrace your figure in a hug. then you leaned your head against his, slightly sniffling away the tears and picking up the last scrapbook you made before you stopped being friends.

flipping through the pages, jaemin recollected all the memories from two to three years ago in high school. about halfway through the book, the pictures soon came to a stop. the rest of the pages were left blank. he lifted his head up and there was a frown present on his face.

“you didn’t finish filling it out?” he questioned, getting up and closing the book.

“i didn’t get to. we stopped talking after new years.” he looked back at the page that was last filled. it was pictures of your families together during christmas eve playing secret santa. flashes of smiling faces and wrapping paper on the floor.

‘december 24, 2015, christmas eve. i hung these pictures up late this year. it’s currently january second and jeno won’t talk to me since new years night. i didn’t have the guts to put these pictures in here but these were the last pictures i had of us all being happy. i don’t think he wants to talk to me anyways…. happy new year and goodbye for now, it’s been fun :( - y/n’

jaemin’s heart broke while holding the crinkled paper in his hands. as strong as he was, mentally, his tears dripped onto the last filled page and looked to you. a single tear falling as he blinked. without a word, jaemin embraced you in a warm and comforting hug. a hug you missed for years.

slowly, you wrapped your arms around your ex-best friend as tears puddled your shoulder as he cried harder and harder. and after the ten minute crying session, jaemin had been rather sniffly and puffy eyed. feeling bad and somewhat guilty, you let jaemin stay over your house to have some takeout with you.

“is that why you didn’t go with your family tonight?” he asked, gulping down his water.

“yeah. i was getting ready and then i just remembered about it. the next thing i knew, i was looking through those pictures and crying... my mom felt bad and didn’t want me to go.” he just nodded in acknowledgment and placed down the cup. it was quiet for a few moments before a text message notification was heard.

“i gotta go. my mom’s wondering where i am.” you walked him to the door and opened it, bidding him a goodbye before he trudged down the street toward his house. just as you shut the door, your mother called you that they were almost home.

packing up the food, and tidying up your room, the jiggling keys caught your attention. it was only about 9:45 and your father walked in, followed by your family, and along came the lee’s. of course.

you scurried up the stairs and kicked the box of memories under your bed just as your father opened the door. you turned to him with your hands folded in front of you and awkwardly smiling.

“pooh! the lee’s are here, come say hi.” you figured your mother hadn’t told your father about the little scene she had witnessed. to be honest, he didn’t know how to react in those kinds of situations so you were kind of glad he was oblivious.

you ushered down the stairs in your easter pajamas and hugged mr and mrs. lee. while hugging them, they said they missed you for dinner and asked what was wrong.

“my stomach hurt a little bit earlier and mom said i could stay home for tonight. i’m glad to see you guys, though!” they cheered and nodded as they looked at their son, motioning— with their eyes— to talk to you.

jeno cleared his throat and greeted you with a small ‘hi’ before jangmi dragged him to her room. everyone remaining sighed and went to the living room while you just walked back up to your room. jangmi’s bedroom was diagonally across from yours and you couldn’t help but to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“jangmi… what would you say if i said that-” you quit listening and shut the door to your room. blowing the baby hairs out of your face,  you looked around your room and was face to face with the guitar sitting in the corner of your room. it was the guitar jeno had bought for your last birthday since you stopped talking. picking up the guitar, you sat back on your bed and grabbed the music sheet from the box, playing the nostalgic tune you and jeno had randomly come up with one day after school.

stepping out of your sisters’ room to go to the bathroom, jeno instantly heard the old song playing in his ears and leaned his head to your closed door. a small smile appeared on his face as he named the notes in his head. his father had come up the stairs and startled jeno, making him move his hand against the elongated doorknob and open your door, causing him to fall back first onto the floor of your bedroom.

you promptly stood up in surprise and your eyes were wide open. was he there the whole time? what was he even doing?

jeno swiftly picked himself off the ground and scratched his head in embarrassment, looking back to his dad who gave him the look. so entering your room and closing the door, you’re met with jeno’s gaze. your heart was pounding and your breathing was heavy, as was his.

tears glossed over your eyes again until he spoke up. “....you still have the music sheet to that?” he refused to look at you.

you gulped and replied, “yeah… i was just, uh, going through some of my old stuff. i found it earlier.” the tension between the two of you was thick and no one wanted to say a word after that.

“uhm.. well, i guess i’ll get going. jangmi’s probably waiting for me.” he was about to leave until he heard your sniffling. he immediately turned around and saw you with your head down and the guitar laying on the floor. he recalled the guitar he bought you for your fifteenth birthday. calmly walking towards your fragile figure, jeno asked what was wrong.

“... you jerk…” you took a deep breath in and looked up at him. “get out of my room… please. jangmi’s waiting…” in that moment, jeno realized that he didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay with you. so he did the next best thing, walked out, informed your sister in what was going on, quickly walked back to your room and hugged you as tight as he could. maybe your best friend was back.

he just constantly shushed you and held you like you were a piece of glass getting ready to break. one of his hands held your waist and the other held your head against his chest as he swung the two of you back and forth, slowly. jeno just let you cry in his embrace as small tears fell from his eyes as well. the only sounds that filled the room were the sobs that escaped your mouth.

during the time, jangmi had rushed down the stairs to let your parents know what was happening at that very moment. it was a miracle to know that you two were actually close to each other in the same room. you two were true friends, indeed.

the night ended with you drained out and falling asleep against jeno’s chest. just as he and his parents were going to leave, jeno made sure to tuck you in bed and bid you a small goodnight before shutting the lights and leaving with his parents.

—

the following morning— around nine in the morning— you were awoken by the alarm you had set prior. you can feel the puffy of your eyes and instantly remember the night before. you and jeno hugged. you were crying and jeno comforted you. to some degree, there was a small smile on your face as you stretched to get ready for work.

you worked at some pho restaurant— pho-nomenal— downtown and hyuck promised to drop you off even though you were fully capable of driving to work yourself. but he just insisted and said he was going to eat pho with a friend.

“y/n! hyuckie is here!” screamed your sister from downstairs. you replied just as loud saying you were tying up your hair. you said goodbye to your parents and told them you were off work at four.

getting in the car you screamed out what happened last night. donghyuck pretended to be shocked. jeno had  already told him by the time they left your house. and hyuck told him that you were working in the morning and to have some pho before off to a college interview.

checking in, sooyoung had greeted donghyuck and sat him down at an open table. he then proceeded to ask sooyoung to ask you to serve for his table. did you mention that sooyoung had a teensy crush on said boy?

she was a little upset but you two were best friends so she just nodded and went to the back to say you had company.

“hyuck, what do you want? why didn’t you let sooyoung serve you today?” you whined while placing down two menus and a buzzer on the table. “because i want you to,” he shrugged and looked past your figure to see jeno walk through the doors. looking back to where your friend was looking, you directly saw jeno as well. that sneaky little prick.

growling and flipping him off, you walked back to the front desk and grabbed some more menus to serve the other people that filled the restaurant.

coming back to hyuck and jeno’s table, you were unable to look jeno in the eyes as he ordered first. when he was finished, you glared at hyuck as he hid his laughter behind the menu. going to the back room, you called out the order and clipped it onto the board and walked back out to stand in front of the main desk. the restaurant wasn’t that busy in the morning so you and your coworkers stood at the front ready to greet other customers and get the meals prepared.

when their food was ready, you rang the buzzer and up came lee jeno. you were going to kill lee donghyuck.

sooyoung and a couple other coworkers were unavailable so you were the only one to give jeno their food.

just as he was about to talk, you gave them their meal and mumbled, “enjoy your food.” it was all too abrupt. but he thanked you and walked down back to the table. both he and donghyuck sighed. you were too stubborn.

“no, hyuck. she’s just scared to be friends with me again. i mean, i would be too if she did that to me. we’ve been best friends since diapers…. sorta… but i still know what kind of person she is,” jeno said, slurping down his noodles and looking at your back as you were preparing some drinks for the other customers. the other boy just shook his head and got ready to take another bite.

once they were finished, and their finished food was taken care of, jeno offered to pay for the meal, just so he could talk to you. as desperate as hyuck was to have the two of you interact, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy that jeno was paying just for the sake of your relationship.

“total is $16.83,” you hadn’t even said a complete sentence. sure it made sense but it wasn’t complete; and it broke jeno’s heart that you didn’t want to see him anymore. glancing up, donghyuck gives you a look and you already know what he’s going to text you later. rolling your eyes at him, you give jeno his change back. your hands brushed against each other as you handed back his coins and it made jeno slightly shiver.

the rest of the day was pretty boring. some of the same customers, everyone ordering the same things, the busy back room. as your shift was coming to an end, you got a text from hyuck that jeno and jaemin were coming along to pick you up. just great.

hanging up your apron, you texted your mom that the boys, though you told her only hyuck, was going to pick you up from work and drop you off. you groaned and walked outside after saying your goodbyes to your crew mates.

“hurry up, donghyuck! it’s going to rain, i can hear the thunder,” you nagged while persistently looking around to spot his car. “okay, okay, i’m down the street. hold your horses.”

finally pulling into the parking lot, donghyuck stopped in front of you and you climbed into the back seat next to jaemin. he and you had exchanged phone numbers the previous night and it seemed like he was back to his affectionate self. he greeted you with a hug from the side and showed off his charming smile and pearly whites. you awkwardly hugged him back, not knowing you two were already in this stage of becoming friends again. jeno looked back through the mirror, he was jealous jaemin was working so fast and already making little progress.

“y/n… i forgot to tell you that we’re all staying the night,” hyuck mockingly laughed. “i already told your mom too. jangmi’s excited.” he finished with a teasing wink. oh brother, you mentally rolled your eyes, sighing into the leather seat.

“cheer up y/n! we can catch up..” jaemin’s sentence became less enthusiastic. you just slightly smiled and looked at him, “okay then.” and it was quiet for the rest of the ride.

opening the door, jangmi’s voice is heard from the opposite side yelling at your dad, “dad! y/n, hyuck, jaemin, and jeno are here!” the boys laughed and all took off their shoes before greeting your sister and father.

“pooh! mom’s at the grocery store right now. you’ll have to help her put away the stuff when she comes back,” he informed. you just nodded with a yes and told them to follow you up to your room. then it got you wondering. three boys sleeping over a girls house at the age of eighteen? curse lee donghyuck.

at around 6 p.m. or so, your mother comes through the door and asks for help to bring the groceries in while she’s greeting the three boys.

“hi boys. i’m glad you could stay the night here! and i’m happy you four are friends again.” your eyes shut from embarrassment and told your mom that there was one last gallon of water in the trunk.

after putting the food and whatnot away, you all walked back upstairs and it was silent for a good few moments. “uhm, we have some extra towels and i think i have some toothbrushes in my closet. you guys can just sleep on the inflatable bed, it’s all we have.” jaemin clicked his fingers. “duh, our stuff is in hyuck’s trunk. we packed everything y/n, don’t worry. i mean, besides the bed but you know what i mean.” you chuckled and nodded as they went back outside to get their belongings. however, jeno had asked them to bring up his bag and so it was just the two of you again.

you were playing with your fingers when he said, “...i’m happy you’re letting us in..” you looked up at him and shyly smiled. “it’s the least i could do. we used to be friends so…”

“yeah but i want to change that, y/n. i want us to be best friends again. remember  ‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart’?” his heart hurt and he was physically in pain. as much as you wanted to yell at him that this was all his fault, you didn’t have the guts to. because he’s back and he wants to be friends again.

the night ended with all of you huddled on your bed watching some thriller tv show that hyuck chose. though you weren’t paying attention at all. the four of you talked throughout the night and looked back on all the memories from middle school to freshman year.

“yeah, yeah! remember when we dared y/n to sit next to mark lee? that was gold! i still have those pictures on my phone!” exclaimed jeno while scrolling to the top of his photo album on his phone. your eyes were widened and your face flushed red, remembering the embarrassing moment.

“ugh stop. i didn’t even like mark lee like that,” you said, covering your face in the palms of your hand. mark lee was your senior at the time of that incident. you were fifteen and he was sixteen. your friends and mark all had the same lunch; but being the popular boy he was, mark lee was sitting with his other friends. they were recalling that you had a supposed crush on the boy and when they had the chance, forced you to sit next to him. it was all just humiliating sitting next to someone everyone thought you had a crush on. and you knew mark heard about those rumors going around.

“yeah okay, y/n. keep saying that,” hyuck smirked and rolled his eyes. jaemin was just laughing and having a good time listening to the conversations going on.

around midnight jangmi walked through your door and joined in on some of the joking the boys were doing. “get out jangmi! we’re talking about high school stuff, plus mom’s gonna be mad at you tomorrow,” you scolded, making her stick her tongue out and hug the older boys goodnight. brat.

you don’t remember when, but when you woke up the next morning, the only person who was sleeping was jeno. jaemin and hyuck were awoken an hour prior and they wanted to let the two of you rest since you were both notorious for going to sleep late and waking up late.

it was only ten in the morning but you pushed yourself out of bed to wash your face and brush your teeth. when you walked down the stairs, the aroma of food entered your senses and jaemin avidly greeted you.

“good morning y/n! we were about to wake you and jeno up but since you’re awake, go tell jeno food’s ready.” he turned you around to face the stairs. sighing, you walked up the stairs and back into your room.

carefully shaking jeno, you repeat, “wake up, food’s ready.” being the lazy bum he was, turned the other way then threw a pillow to your face.

“stop bothering me, monkey.” you were in a trace. monkey and bubba; that’s what you two called each other. you stared at his back, but somehow he felt more awake and sort of uncomfortable. shifting around, he turned to you and sat up.

“what’s wrong with you all of a sudden?” he questioned, waving a hand in front of your face. he must have just blabbed that out while he was half conscious and wasn’t paying attention.

“.... eat. my mom, jaem, and hyuck made breakfast,” you mumbled and walked out the door and down the stairs. from then on he wondered what had gotten into you. but while he was getting ready he remembered what he had said. monkey, the nickname he gave you when you were both eleven. jeno then wondered what would happen if he continued to call you monkey. would you be all flustered? would you complain and yell at him? or would you call him bubba? he’d hope you’d call him bubba again. he missed your nicknames.

your friends and family all enjoyed breakfast together, and your mother was stoked to have the four of you back before leaving for college. instead of the three musketeers, it was the four musketeers. you, lee jeno, lee donghyuck, and na jaemin.

after breakfast, they left to run their errands or start their schedules for the day.

—

while monday started, you wondered if jaemin and jeno would talk to you. welp, only one way to find out.

driving your way to school, hyuck had texted you where you were.

i’m on my way, just wait omg sent, 7:28 a.m.

parking your car and walking towards the front lobby, the two boys pushed through the row of doors and rushed to you. jaemin, being much more comfortable, hugged you and hyuck joined soon after. jeno was a bit on the slower side, deciding to tone down his excitement.

“ayy look at this cool guy,” jaem turned around and teased jeno as he walked to you with his hands in the pockets of his sweater. the boy just smirked and shook his head.

“morning monkey.” you tensed again, then turned pink since the energetic boys stood confused. “monkey? is that what we’re calling y/n now? because i’m totally up for it!” exclaimed hyuck.

your eyes widened and shouted, “no! you guys are not going to call me monkey. that was just a nickname he used to call me.”

jaemin spoke up, “really? since when? how come we’ve never heard this ‘monkey’ come out of jeno’s lips until right in this moment?” you glared at jeno and responded, “it was just a thing between the two of us. besides, you know i have nicknames for both of you, too.” the two boys just rolled their eyes as jeno smiled and cheered in some sort of victory. you stuck out your tongue and caught up with the salty boys who were a couple feet ahead.

but during the walk to first period, in which mrs. choi wasn’t there again, the trio was greeted by everyone as they looked at you, questioning to themselves why you were hanging out with jeno and jaemin. some even forgot the four of you were a thing, and some just didn’t know.

“woah, y/n hanging with them? nana and jen?!”

“i thought they stopped being friends…?”

“damn. i haven’t seen ‘em together since sophomore year.”

and other variations were heard throughout the halls as you, hyuck, and jeno went to drop off jaemin in mrs. moon’s room before walking to mr. park’s.

right when you three walked through the doors, mr. park playfully sighed and gave you and hyuck a look. then looking at the students whispering and already starting to gossip. oh great.

while loosely paying attention to the teachers lesson, you looked around the room, hyuck doing his work and occasionally looking up, some students— of which were mostly female— looking between you and jeno, and jeno, continuously peering over to you. when you met eye contact, he was quick enough to look away and act as if he was taking notes. was jeno really starting to like you? again?

he would probably never admit it but during eighth and ninth grade years, jeno developed the tiniest, and by tiniest he really had the biggest, crush on you. of course, you never knew, only seeing him as family and one of your bestest and closest friends. but it was all in the past and he kind of figured you never really liked him like that anyway.

you diverted your attention back to the laptop screen and started doing some more research for your language class. but as the seconds ticked by, jeno started to glance at you more and more, especially since he knew you were no longer paying attention to his class.

before you knew it, first class was over and you and hyuck sat at your seats in the same room. jeno just stayed in his seat but tapped the desk to the right of him to signify for you to sit there. sort of uncomfortably, you plopped yourself onto the desk and took out whatever you needed for his class. him and hyuck talked, as usual, but jeno made sure to include you since you were now both on speaking terms.

small smiles and shy laughter. it’s always been who you were, it’s always been one of the reasons why jeno fell for you. the whole school scene was just always too overwhelming for you, much rather being on the quieter side. it probably never seemed like it back in middle school but you were always way too much of a nervous wreck to actually do something bad. you were all bark and no bite.

so when class started, and students started to fill the desks one by one. kyong, a well-known— but basic— popular classmate came walking into the room, planning to sit in her seat, which was next to jeno, whom she subtly liked. but seeing you sit there all of a sudden startled her.

“hi, y/n,” she smiled with flames burning in her eyes. “uh that’s my seat, i’m sorry.”

you looked her in the eyes and apologized, getting ready to pack your things to sit next to hyuck until jeno stopped you from doing so and said, “there’s no assigned seats kyong. just go sit next to…. jihoon,” he pointed across the room. her eyes twitched slightly before smiling again and walking to sit next to the knocked out boy.

throughout the class, jeno and hyuck proceeded with their joking around until mr. park had enough and turned around. giving them the ‘you are a senior in high school’ speech. but to be fair, they were being a biiiit immature.

directly after the bell rang, you went straight to mr. yang’s lab class and sat next to sooyoung, after you said goodbye to jeno and hyuck. immediately explaining your weekend out to her.

“i’m sorry he WHAT?”she whisper-shouted hoping mr. yang wouldn’t hear. unfortunately he did and shushed her before moving onto the next part of the lesson he was teaching. you just made a face and nodded before returning back to your notes, sooyoung still in astonishment.

when ms. jung’s class arrived— which was after mrs. lim’s— you sat right where you had been sitting. but before you walked past him like he wasn’t there, jeno greeted you with a smile. thankfully, you did return it and got yourself situated for that class.

—

once your classes were over, you walked to your car and started the engine before jeno called you on your phone. confused, you picked up.

“hello? why are you calling me?” it sounded a bit rude but you didn’t mean for it to come out like that.

“i just wanted to ask if you left yet. you just speeded out the room and i kinda…. sorta…. need a ride,” he elongated the last part of his sentence. you sighed and replied, “can’t you drive? i know you took your drivers permit. and i know you have a license.”

“my car’s in the shop, getting the tires fixed. hyuck picked me up,” he laughed.

“then didn’t you leave with him?”

“that ass left before i had the chance. please, y/n?” he whined and you could practically hear his pout. roughly, you sighed and breathed out ‘fine.’ it seemed like ever since you were nice to each other again, the little prick had been taking advantage of you. but that wasn’t jeno, right?

just as he shut the passenger seat door, you said that you had to pick up jangmi before dropping him off.

“i’m cool with that. besides, jangmi loves me,” he bragged. you just snorted and rolled your eyes before driving off to her school

when you arrived at her middle school, she peered through the passenger window and straight away, a smile was placed on her lips. she opened the door, “jeno! you’re coming home with us today? where’s aunty?” he just laughed and turned his head to her before answering.

“no. y/n is just dropping me off today, and maybe the rest of this week,” his sentence trailed off as he looked at you, only for you to look back and scowl at him.

“maybe tomorrow. if y/n allows me,” the damn teasing tone in his voice. jangmi looked at you with hopeful eyes through the mirror.

“what? it’s not my house. plus jeno’s probably gonna make me not take him home after school anyways.” you were quite annoyed with the duo. as much as you love them, they were a pain in the ass.

dropping jeno off jangmi asked, “what happened between you two?” you just laughed and responded with a little shake of your head, leaving her confused and complaining that you were a bad sister and a bad friend.

“i am not! you’re just too young,” you teased her again since the age difference between her and you was significant. more so, significant enough.

—

graduation day. thursday, june 14th. the day you would remember forever.

it was the morning of senior graduation. nothing much was going on, just the hectic scene of constant practices and nervousness.

“i cannot believe we’re graduating high school together! first middle school and now this!” clapped jaemin with his cheery smile. all four of you were glad to be together in that moment at that time, together. after the feud, your relationship had been stronger than ever and you were all glad.

your parents had come together the couple previous days in order to plan your surprise graduation party for the four of you. it was to be held at your house, as your mom insisted to your dad, so when you all got home, your friends and families would be there.

prior to you leaving the school auditorium, your parents had treated you to some ice cream money before ushering the four of you to go out and have some celebratory treats so they could prepare the little party.

when you reached your house, it was eerily quiet. their parents had parked a couple streets down to hide the fact that they were all a part of the surprise party. so after you walked through the door, all your friends and family popped out of their hiding places and yelled ‘congratulations!’

every since you and jeno got close again, he started to realize his feelings had been coming back. and this time they came by and hit him like a whole truck. once he knew about the party— because of his loudmouth parents— he knew it then. jeno was going to confess.

but he was scared; as he should be. he was scared to lose the friendship he just gained back, but he was also scared of losing the relationship with jaemin and donghyuck. but it was worth a shot. it was all or nothing. besides, there was a chance your feelings could be reciprocated, right?

so while the sun was setting and the bonfire was getting started, jeno was seated next to you at the swings with no one to bother you. he made sure to tell his plan to hyuck and jaem— and also your beloved family— so they wouldn’t mess it up. but when jeno found the courage to speak up, the bundle of nerves distracted his thought process and he was spitting out stutters.

“hey, bubba. you okay?” your face showed concern which did not help the situation he was in.

“yeah, i’m okay,” he was upset at himself for not having the balls to confess to his first love. will he have enough courage to confess later? only time will figure it out.

looking off to your family, jeno was having a mid-war crisis in his mind. beating himself up for being so quiet all of a sudden. but while the silence followed between you and jeno, you had been having a hell-of-a-ton of questions and statements in your mind as well.

why couldn’t you confess to him already?

man up. it’s just jeno. no matter what happens you two will always stay friends. at least that’s what you hoped.

as the amount of misquotes grew larger, and the purples and pink in the sky turned blue, jaemin and hyuck had gone to the closest supermarket to pick up some s’mores for everyone to enjoy. gathering around the campfire, everyone made their own marshmallow goodness and joked the night away. until the swarming mosquitoes started to bite everyone.

and while the crickets were heard, everyone was in the living room playing your family time games with a twist. but you ended the night with a movie— or two. so as you were busy making the popcorn, your friends and families all crowded jeno and asked if he had confessed yet. awkwardly, jeno declined and admitted that he hadn’t said a word about his feelings to you. your parents had then ushered him to say a little something about his feelings toward you.

mustering up whatever sort of bravery he had, jeno trotted his way to the kitchen where you were preparing the last batch of popcorn for everyone. he leaned his figure to the wall, admiring you for a moment before softly clearing his throat to catch your attention.

just go up to her, dammit. jeno repeated in his head.

“uh— you know, monkey. i uh— we should— i kinda wanna go to the mall and— no we should go to that new seafood restaurant— no no, scratch that…. but can we-” you interrupted his cute rambling before resting your hand on his chest and kissing his cheek.

“i got the message jen,” you laughed. “of course i’d go out with you this weekend.” by the time he walked back to the living room, he was a ball of goo and all eyes were on him; especially your family. just by the look of his face when he came back, they all knew what you had said, and it was affirmative.

—

your first date that next weekend went by perfectly. jeno had ended up taking you to an aquarium and dinner for the evening and it was the best date you’ve ever had. really, it was the only meaningful date but best, nonetheless.

appreciatively, the date you and jeno and went on was not awkward at all. it was just as if you two were just hanging out as friends, but of course, better.

you were just joking along with each other and recalling smaller, more precious memories between the two of you before the conversation got a little more serious.

“i got accepted into yonsei university!” he exclaimed, not knowing you had also applied to the university and got accepted a few days prior.

“congratulations bubba! i got accepted too!” he cheered at you and gripped your hand in affirmation and proudness.

now you knew. maybe you two were truly meant to be.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

a brand new start.

august 29th. first day of the new semester of a new year, a whole mouthful.

the major you had chosen for your path at yonsei was interior architecture. jeno was majoring in computer software and media applications.

luckily, you and jeno had classes about the same times on the same days so you each had time to briefly see each other on campus or meet up while you’re both free. it was a little hard to adapt at first, but you two were champs and still even had time to meet up with hyuck and even sooyoung— who both went to hanyang university— and jaemin— who attended hongik university.

“monkey!” yelled jeno who was about ten feet in front of you. your class had just ended and you were just walking around the entrance of jeno’s building, waiting for him.

“sorry i was late. professor oh kept us back,” he scratched the back of his head. only for you to shake your head and give him a ‘no worries’ smile. it was a thursday and you and jeno had some sports meetings right after class. once again, with the same schedule. it wasn’t a bad thing, not at all. but there were times where you wished you never hung out so much. even so, you loved jeno— in fact, you were the first to pull the ‘i love you’ card a few weeks back.

walking to the campus gymnasium, the both of you get changed into athleisure attire and separated ways, jeno to the field and you just a couple of walks to the gymnasium. you had been playing volleyball to stay fit and to find a hobby while living the college life. jeno, to much surprise, continued to pursue football during his college years, so as to stay fit and to keep his passion of playing football alive.

“i’ll see you later, monkey. we have community service later, yeah?” he asked while greeting some of his teammates. you nodded and waved to your girls before jeno smiled lovingly at you and held your chin in his hand to peck your lips. teasingly, he winked and walked to where the boys went out. shaking your head at him playfully, you walked into the gym to start with some stretches and warmups.

apparently you were the best woman on the volleyball team so the girls immediately nominated you as team captain. discussing about the plans your coach had given you prior, the girls stopped chatting and got straight to practice. chanmi was one of your peers on the team who was seemingly jealous of you; of which you did not know she was, but it was better for her to know rather than for you. you had just thought that she didn’t like you, like, at all.

“ugh i don’t understand why y/n is team captain. it’s not fair,” she complained to her friend one morning. you were on an early coffee run for you and jeno when you heard her familiar ringing voice. following them from a distance, chanmi just continued to talk bad about you which made you sad realizing that she didn’t like you.

“plus she gets lee jeno. i heard he’s the best on the football team,” she whined again, “and he’s the hottest, no doubt.” her friend agreed before gushing over your boyfriend when he appeared behind you, covering your eyes and making you guess who. rolling your eyes you turned around and gave him his drink before walking to class together. the two of you had literature together— with chanmi— and it seemed she hated you even more, especially after you walked in the room with jeno’s hand around your waist, standing impossibly closer to you. but it wasn’t your fault his hand was there anyways.

ever since that day, all you received from her was snarky remarks and burning glares. and she almost never complied to you or your requests which was why the coach was having thoughts about kicking her off the team.

when your volleyball practice was over, you quickly refreshed yourself and gathered your things to walk to the football field to watch jeno finish his practice.

sitting on the bleachers, however, was chanmi— who coincidentally was jaemin’s cousin— and her little friend vigorously cheering for the boys. about five minutes passed before jeno walked to you and downing his water, saying that today’s practice was going to be a little longer than usual so you both might be late to the tutor sessions you planned to help some of the younger kids.

“it’s okay, bub. i’ll just stay here and go over some notes. i have an exam tomorrow,” you explained and looked up at him with squinted eyes. he looked around before looking back at you, catching chanmi’s attention before saying, “okay. don’t overwork that brain of yours,” he laughed as he skittishly poked your head.

“also, do you have an extra water bottle? i need it desperately, coach is working us extra hard today for some reason.” you nodded and fished out your metal water bottle to give to him. “thanks, monkey,” he kissed your temple and returned to the field where everyone was waiting.

enviously, chanmi watched the scene with her eyes and she felt as though she wanted to barf; oh how desperately she wanted to be in your place, though. it seemed as if you and jeno had the perfect relationship. of course there were the doubts but you and jeno managed to pull through and you’re as strong as ever. in which chanmi daydreamed about her perfect relationship, somehow throwing jeno into the mix. “the perfect man,” as she called him.

during the beginning of the year, when chanmi first found out about her fellow peers, some more than most, she was instantly interested in you and jeno. the constant questions of ‘are they friends?’ or ‘are they actually a couple?’ flowed throughout your classmates' mouths and you and jeno had proven to them that you were in a relationship, and very serious about it.

she sat closer to where you were sitting near the front of the bleachers.

“hi, captain!” she said enthusiastically. you were puzzled as to why she was talking to you out of the blue after the constant bashes of attitude. she was, what nineteen, the least she could do was act more mature, right? genuinely, you smiled and greeted her before striking a small conversation.

“chanmi! where’s your friend?” you asked and turned to meet her figure. toxically, she smiled and pointed in the direction of her previous seat. you’d been talking for a few minutes when the blow of a whistle stops her mid-sentence. hearing the shouting of the football coach, her pulse accelerated as she saw jeno coming closer and closer. with hopeful eyes, she hears nothing of your next words as she is solely paying attention to lee jeno.

almost movie-like, her vision slows as she drools over the boy who is running to where you two were seated.

“hey monkey!” he cheerily said before sitting to your right to collect his things to put back in his bag. “.... chanmi..”

she dreamily sighed and waved jeno a hi, but her daze came to a stop when she saw him caress your cheek with his hand and sweetly smiling at you. evidently, chanmi had completely focused her attention on jeno as she had stars in her eyes. subconsciously feeling a stare, jeno looked to where chanmi was and of course, she was already looking at him with star struck eyes. but obviously, her gazing made him feel uncomfortable and uneasy. she looked at him like how you looked at him; pure love and ecstasy. he scoffed to himself and grabbed your hand to pull you away from the girl.

“hey, hey! what was that all about,” you whined as he continued to pull you to the parking lot where his car was parked. throwing his bag in the backseat, jeno’s grip was still just as firm, preventing you from climbing into the passenger side. just as you were about to protest again, he turned around, wrapped his arms around your waist and hid his head in your neck, taking in your natural scent while nuzzling his nose against your collarbone. in disarray, you enveloped your arms around jeno’s neck and played with the hairs on the nape of his neck.

“what’s wrong, bub?” you softly said as he then lifted his head from your neck and gently rubbed his nose against yours. he shook his head and continued to hold you in his embrace. but jeno was a horrible liar, and you knew he wasn’t telling the truth.

you both never ended up going to that tutoring session for the community service opportunity. jeno had been consistently whining on how he wanted to just lay in bed with you and rest for the weekend. and you simply couldn’t refuse his cute ass.

before you could do anything else, jeno pushed through the front door of your apartment and made you lay on the couch for him to rest on you. his body stuck like a koala against yours as his head laid on your chest and his arms were once again enclosed around you.

his behavior was off the roof that day and you were perplexed by his actions. something was off with him.

and you were right; something was off with him. na chanmi was jaemin’s distant cousin— maybe third or fourth— but ever since he met na chanmi, which was almost two years prior, she appeared to be utterly in love with jeno, barely even knowing who he was. providentially, he never really saw chanmi around long enough for him to catch feelings for her, but she was always so damn sure she attracted jeno in some type of way.

chanmi had this sense of weary aura around her presence and it always made jeno feel twitchy when it came to her which was why he acted like that.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

it was finally senior year of university. fortunately, after everything you and jeno have been through, your relationship was healthy, and there wasn’t much more you could ask for. you even ended up moving in together in the same apartment during your junior year. everything was going to be perfect.

yeah, that’s what you both thought.

—

“where were you, y/n?” jeno asked right when he heard the front door open.

it was a friday night and you were out with sooyoung and a couple other friends to study and hang out at a local diner. you didn’t text jeno where you were but to be fair, you did try calling him three times before giving up and enjoying lost time with your friends for the night. unluckily for you, jeno had flooded you with nonstop phone calls almost ten minutes after you stopped trying to reach out and tell him what you were doing for the night. time really does fly by.

“i’ve been calling you for the past hour and you haven’t responded to me once. where the hell were you?” you knew he tried to remain calm and mature but you’ve known jeno long enough to know that he was enraged; the glint of anger reflected in his eyes and you knew you were in trouble.

the relationship you’ve had the past couple of months were not the greatest. these were one of the occasions that balls of fire were thrown at each other. accusations and yelling one after another only to make up the next morning.

but something just wasn’t sitting right that night with jeno.

“where were you and who were you with?” he stated again, hands rested on his hips. you sighed, trying to calm down the situation.

“i was with sooyoung and mark tonight.”

“then why didn’t you reply to my calls?” he was really starting to get mad.

“i called you thrice but gave up since you didn’t answer,” you said while walking to your shared bedroom to get ready to shower.

“that doesn’t explain why you didn’t pick up!” he bursted out. and to be honest, you don’t think you’ve seen or heard jeno this mad at you before. something in you just clicked.

you scoffed to yourself and rolled your eyes, “you need to chill! i didn’t do anything wrong, i don’t know why you’re making me the bad guy! we were just hanging out.” but it was too late. jeno was furious, for maybe no reason. or maybe he did have a reason.

though you denied liking mark lee back in middle school and the beginning of high school, jeno was the only person you told about your little crush on the boy. mark lee was the sweetest person ever; caring, thoughtful, and cute. who didn’t have a crush on him?

little did you know, jeno always felt jealous whenever you gushed about the boy. and maybe that was what was going through his mind right now.

but nothing happened, sooyoung and mark were close friends and she offered for you to hang out with them, of course you had to accept their request. you missed them.

however jeno just dashed out of the room, throwing his phone to the ground making the loudest noise. you really fucked up. but you didn’t, jeno was in the wrong, so you tried to convince yourself. but you were too nice to admit that it was entirely his fault. because you still loved him dearly, though the months have been going downhill. you just shook your head and showered.

we’ll be okay in the morning. or so you hoped.

when you got out of the shower, you were wrapped in your towel when you saw jeno sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. he was fuming mad at this point and wanted you to leave.

“you need to leave,” he blatantly said without looking your way. the sound of your bare feet padding the floor stopped. you were speechless. this was the first time he’s kicked you out. but you paid half the rent so you said no.

“it’s not a question, y/n. i need you to get out, we need time off.” you were taken aback by his words. what a dickhead.

“uhm, i don’t know if you’re aware of this but i pay half the rent and half of these damn bills, there’s no way i’m getting out of this house. if anything you should leave…. at least stay in the guest bedroom,” you added. when jeno looked up and finally met your soft brown eyes, the only thing you could see in his was pure anger. it made you hiccup a sob.

staring at him for what seemed like forever, you blink away the tears that accumulated in your eyes and packed everything you could.

“lee jeno you will never be a real man. you’re still the pussy i knew you were,” you dryly laughed and slammed the front door as hard as you could. you stuffed all your shit into your car and called your mom.

“we broke up.”

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

by the time you reached your parents house, you called sooyoung and haechan, informing them about the dramatic scene that happened just moments ago.

you didn’t even know how long but when you reached your parents house it was almost one in the morning. thankfully, your mother was still awake, concerned for her crying child.

knocking on the wood door, it opened immediately and your mother embraced you in her welcoming hug that felt like home.

you weren’t able to sleep that night. thinking about your relationship with lee jeno. from when you two were in diapers to when he stopped being friends with you to getting into the relationship to now. it was all a roller coaster that you did not want to go on anymore.

it was funny, your mother tucked you in your bed that night, telling you to just rest and try your hardest to not think of him.

rising against your bed that following morning, you looked like a train wreck. puffy eyes, swollen face, chapped lips. and it’s about at nine in the morning when you get a facetime call. deep inside you wished it was jeno apologising to you but it was just hyuck and jaem.

looking at you, the boys show so much sympathy and sadness through their faces, having almost similar expressions.

“y/n, we’ll pick you up today then, yeah? we can go in jaemin’s car and we’ll pick up sooyoung and mark too, okay?” says donghyuck once he heard a sob escape your lips. you nod, nonetheless, ending the phone call and getting ready to look presentable to the public.

—

luckily for you, the two boys pick up the rest of your things from jeno’s before coming to get you and the rest of their friends.

they help you put your things away in your room and hug you with so much love. in that moment, you were have to have friends like them.

“let’s go get sooyoung and mark. i wanna go to the amusement park.” they obliged to your request and the three of you walked out of your house after bidding your parents goodbye. everyone in your family was concerned about your well-being but you said you were fine and going to heal yourself with your friends.

when mark and sooyoung are in the car, the pair immediately hug you as tight as they could while sooyoung cursed at lee jeno for breaking your heart once more.

“i swear i will kick his ass. i don’t care how strong he is, bitch i will kick his ass all the way to fucking jupiter,” you laughed at sooyoung, she seemed more upset at your breakup than you were. but everyone laughed and agreed that they would all tag team and best jeno’s ass so hard that he can’t even remember your name.

the day was spent better than you had thought, you five stayed on the bay walk until dusk. then you went out to get some korean barbecue and ice cream, all their treats to make you feel better about yourself.

your friends and family really helped you get over your relationship with jeno. however, of course your mothers continued to talk and gossip about your relationship.

“they’re really doing this again? jeno didn’t even tell me yet. i’ll make sure he gets his ass beat by both me and minjung,” his mother says while on speaker, courtesy of your mother cleaning the dishes in the kitchen. she hummed and spotted you hiding behind the wall. you’d been listening to their conversation the second your mother called out mrs. lee’s name.

noticing your mother stare, you whined at her, “mom can you at least be a little more discreet when you’re talking about us?”

“we just wanted to catch up. you know, mrs. lee hasn’t seen jeno since your breakup— didn’t even know you two broke up.” you pursed your lips into a straight line before sitting on a stool. “don’t you think you guys will ever make up again? it’s happened once after constant pushing.”

you scoffed and rolled your eyes, taking a bit out of an apple from the fruit bowl.

“he’s a jerk, mom. it’s complicated.”

but just then, you heard jeno’s baritone voice through the speaker of your mothers phone.

“she’s fake, mom. it’s complicated—” but before you could hear anything else the jackass had to say, you mother hung up.

you sighed out of annoyance and walked to jangmi’s room. she was supposed to start her new job today.

“jangmi, are you ready? i need to work soon too,” you shouted through her door while listening to her rummaging through her room before opening the door.

“yeah i’m ready. let’s go,” she took your hand and dragged you down the stairs. saying bye to your mother she slipped on her shoes and walked out the doors, waiting by the passenger side of your car.

jangmi got a job at some aesthetically pleasing library in town and she was excited to get the job.

you stopped and parked the car before she opened the car door. however you stopped her before she could even set one foot out.

at this point, you and jeno had been broken up for three months. but seeing jeno with chanmi— who is laughing and hitting his arm playfully— your heart breaks more, albeit holding jangmi’s arm a little too tightly. once she looked in the direction of your face, she immediately knew you had a reason.

“y/n, you’re hurting me,” her voice snapped you out of the trance you were in and you apologized and asked her if jeno and chanmi go into the library. it seemed like they were going inside. she shot an ‘okay’ sign and finally got out of the car.

if jeno was being honest, he got over your break up fairly quickly and got back into the dating jazz almost two months after. well, more like he got heavily intoxicated with alcohol and had a one night stand with chanmi. he didn’t know how or why, neither does he know now.

you drove away to an empty parking lot and frantically fish out your phone in your pocket to dial jaemin.

“nana… is chanmi and jeno, like… a thing?” jaemin found out that they were seeing each other— whether romantically or not— about two weeks prior, but he didn’t have the heart to break it to you.

the boy sighed through the phone and admitted that they have been seeing each other for about a month and a half now. but he made sure to quickly say that he just found out and didn’t know how to break the news to you. because as fine as you claimed you were, jaemin knows you more than anything, and he knows you’re still affected.

“it’s okay jaem. we can see other people, it’ll be fine,” you reassured him as you heard the worry in his voice. but even through your voice, he knew you still weren’t okay, so he drove to your house after you ended the call.

you just wanted to sit alone in your bedroom binging horrifically bad tv shows while eating to your heart's content.

but a knock on your door prevented you from doing anything you planned for the rest of spring vacation. because those thoughts filled you through the three months prior.

it was your four bestest friends, and you would trade anything to be with them; even jeno.

they didn’t end up leaving until three in the morning. making sure you were fine and didn’t have a worry about lee jeno. and it helped, for the most part.

—

when returning to campus, you immediately sensed jeno and directed your gaze to something else. however, jeno had a few things up his sleeve and wrapped his large hand around your wrist. you struggled for a moment and threatened to shout out ‘stranger danger’ though it was more immature than you thought it was so you opted to not say anything.

he roughly pushed you against a hidden wall and shoved his face in the junction of your neck and shoulders. tears.

this might’ve been your second or third time watching, experiencing jeno cry actual tears. whether in sadness or frustration. you tried to pry him off of you.

“jen, i have class. what are you doing?” you struggled in his strong grip around your waist. jeno was crying up a storm but was still glad to hear a nickname of his come out of your mouth.

after moments of seeming hours, the man slowly lifted his head from your now wet neck. you stared in his eyes and you never saw the look of pure pain in his eyes. slowly, jeno rubbed his strong nose against yours, leaning your foreheads against each other. he then released his secure grip from your torso and gently cupped your face, his fingers ever-so-softly wiping the tears you didn’t even know escaped your eyes.

that moment was all a blur and neither of you attended your classes that day.

now here you were, sitting across him, across the island that stood in the middle of the kitchen. the apartment still looked the same as when you left, besides the unclean dishes piling in the sink and crooked frames. from that previous scene to now, not a single chirp leaves your mouths. it was dead silent. until he rubs his tired face, jeno is the first to speak up.

“monkey… bubba,” he started, unable to look at you in your eyes, scared to look at your reaction as he planned out his next words carefully. but at this point you figured you knew what he was going to say. because like you said before, jeno is not a man. though he may look and feel like one, he never will be if he keeps up his immature behavior. mentally, lee jeno is not a man, at least not in your eyes. and maybe he never will be, but you’re one to know.

your eyes were emotionless and cold as you looked at his bowed head. the intensity of the room was rising by the minute as he paused on his words.

it seems as though now, jeno is broken. as broken as you were when you broke up. it’s what he deserves. you don’t feel a thing as he continued to shed his tears quietly. but one look and it’s done for.

you don’t know when and you don’t know how, but you ended up on the couch with his puffy face lying on your chest. hesitantly, the pads of your fingers traced his sculpted face as he rests after his crying session.

but why were you doing this? he’s a jackass

hm, he may be a complete asshat but he’s still your best friend over everything. so you push aside all your thoughts and only think about your middle school relationship.

‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart.’

you don’t know whether it’s your best friend jeno calling you or your boyfriend jeno calling you, but you hope it was best friend jeno. because it was a way simpler time then and he was always there when you needed him most.

carefully, you lifted your body and looked at the blaring red digital clock sitting on the desk. it was seven in the evening and you had to return home. well, pick up your car from the parking lot and then go home.

feeling you moving, jeno held you closer, squishing his cheek against your décolletage. as much as you did not want to see him, jeno was still as cute as ever. if he wanted to try again, maybe you’d consider.

to hell, you are not going to consider it. you need to go home.

“jen… jen…” you whispered, shaking his body as he maneuvered his head so his nose is tickling your neck. you actually debated on slapping the shit out of him to wake him up. it’s what he deserves. so you do. not too hard but enough to wake him up and hold his left cheek.

“ow!” he whined and rubbed his eyes. what a child.

“jen i need to go home.” only causing him to pout and holding you close to refuse you to leave.

“we’re done, jen. i need to go, i have stuff to do. plus we missed class today.” he whined even more.

“stay with me. we’ll go to class tomorrow,” he mumbled through your neck. but now you were starting to get aggravated.

“lee jeno. this is absurd! you want to constantly make accusations of me cheating with mark, break up with me, and now you want me to stay? all this in four and a half months? you must be out of your goddamn mind. there’s no way in hell i’m going to stay here tonight. we can be friends, yeah, because we’ve known each other our entire lives. but if you think i’m going to get back with you, especially now, you’re fucking crazy,” you breached with tears of frustration in your eyes, “plus i thought you and chanmi were a thing. i saw you two a few weeks ago when i dropped off jangmi at work.”

but the man— or boy— stayed silent. the only noise of the passing cars filling it. tension was high as jeno looked at you with the most lost puppy eyes. but he agreed with you in his mind, he was a little immature. okay, he had to admit that he was very immature, and still is. maybe he just doesn’t know how to work relationships.

no more than three moments later he opened his mouth, only for you to talk again. but in a more calmed voice, “listen, just take me home. i don’t wanna be here right now.” you felt suffocated by the apartment you used to call home. you felt suffocated by the person, you used to call home. but right now you couldn’t make up complete thoughts. it was too overbearing and all you wanted to do was shower and sleep.

without a word, jeno rubbed his eyes and picked up his keys, signaling you to go outside. you released your temper and walked out a minute after he did and got into his car. it was his fault he would not let you go.

he dropped you off with zero words spoken on the twelve minute drive to your parents house. quickly, you muttered a ‘thank you’ and dashed out of his car and to your front door, breathing out whatever breath you were holding.

jeno made sure to leave once he knew you were inside safe. and once you opened the door, questions bombarded you.

‘where were you?’

‘who was that?’

‘why are you home so late?’

but you just shook your head and told your family that you were tired and wanted to shower and rest. leaving you alone was the least they could do.

the hot water was hitting your skin as you stood there, thinking about him. what was going on with him? why is he acting like that all of a sudden? you don’t know. but all you knew was that you needed some time away. to think and to compose yourself.

—

your dad dropped you off at university that morning. the questions that were unanswered that previous night were still left hanging from his mouth. yet you still didn’t answer the questions, you couldn’t.

thanking and saying goodbye to your dad, you got out of his car to walk into yours to mentally prepare yourself for the day. there was still about thirty minutes before your first class and you wanted to use that time to think about possible scenarios that could happen. you just hoped they don’t ever happen.

continuously, you rubbed your face as you fidgeted in your seat and stared out onto campus. taking deep breaths, you finally walked out of the car and made sure to lock it. walking to the literature building, you spotted jeno with a couple of his football friends on the courtyard. and before you met contact, you whipped your head into the direction of the literature building.

jeno sighed to himself and knew he fucked up. big time.

instead of going up to you, he thought to himself that he should leave you alone. he was being bipolar and he didn’t want to overwhelm you and your feelings even more. as much as he was suffering alone, he would stay away from you, but observe you carefully.

you actually had a volleyball game later that day— the last game of the season— and chanmi had asked him if she would watch her. without hesitating, jeno agreed to come but mostly just to see you, but he’d obviously keep that to himself. so once your classes were over, you walked to the gymnasium and into the girls locker room to change. by the time you exited the locker room, people filled the side bleachers and watched the girls (both from your team and the opponents) practice bumping the ball to each other. the opposing team was on the opposite side of the gym to practice while you were on the other. unluckily, your team was practicing on the opening side of the gymnasium and that was when you caught a glimpse of jeno. you looked at him for a brief moment and almost missed a teammates bump when chanmi had run up to greet the guy.

some of his football teammates were actually already sitting on the front of the bleachers and admiring the girls that were hitting the ball with their spandex shorts. jeno hugged chanmi because even when he said they weren’t close, they had gotten closer over the five months after your breakup. but your attention was then reverted to your friends. jaemin, hyuck, mark, and sooyoung had come to cheer on your team for moral support. since jeno wasn’t there to be by your side anymore.

“y/n, you can do this. we know you can! and even if you guys don’t end up making it, this is all for fun and we’ll treat you out for ice cream tonight. all on us. good luck!”

soon the referee blew the whistle indicating the five minute mark. there were five minutes before the final game of the season, and the final game of volleyball you’d ever play for your university. the last game was a home game so you were the first to actually serve the ball. as close as it was, the ball was bumped by a girl of the away team and the game actually started.

time was ticking, and there were only ten minutes left before halftime and the third set of the game. so far, your team was up by eight points. six. four. the bell of halftime filled the gym as the girls on each of the teams walked to their respective sides to have a team talk and rest.

“come on ladies, this is the last game. we’re ahead by four points. we can make it through the last set and win this tournament. it’s the last game of the season, good luck!” encouraged your coach as the rest of the girls discussed who was going to the field first.

“y/n, lia, chanmi, kana, areum, and sohee— you girls are up first. y/n is serving again.”

so far, your team had one the first two sets, and the pressure was up for the last set. you needed to win this. you did not care if this was for a hobby of yours. some of those girls were not so nice while you walked to the gym, giving you the side eye. you just felt like you had to win this game. not for your teammates nor for your friends. not even for jeno. but more for yourself and your pride.

three minutes were on the clock and they were up by two points and you just needed to get at least four points ahead to win the game. you never faltered your serves that set, no one else served besides you and when it was time to switch members, your coach always needed you in. you were bouncing the ball on the floor, getting ready to serve as best as you could. throwing the ball in the air, you swung your arms and for sure, the ball was hit over the net. game start.

the whistle was blown, two points given to your team. the scores were tied now and all you needed to do was gain at least two more points to win. the ball dribbled on the floor in front of you and you then served the ball, hitting it with all the strategies you accumulated throughout the years. the girls immediately missed the ball and the score was down to you again. there were now forty seconds left, as you served the ball again and the girls missed the ball. the pressure was all on them and they couldn’t get over the fact that they were losing.

“we won!” screamed your teammates as you rested yourself on your knees, taking deep breaths. your four friends ran up to you worried and helped you sit down to rest.

“y/n, you were working yourself too much during the last game. why did you not go back? you could’ve watched,” said sooyoung while she was rubbing your back. jaemin was giving you water and rubbing the sides of your arm while mark was massaging your shoulder and hyuck was sitting by your legs.

“take it easy for now. you bid the opposite team good game,” hyuck rubbed your thigh. you sighed and got out of the seat you were in to meet up with your teammates. you all stand in a line and high-fived the opposing team before you got your bag and sat back down with your friends.

“let’s go get ice cream now,” you tiredly said and slumped the strap over your shoulder.

“uhm, before we go… i dropped off chanmi here so she might need to go with us,” jaemin scratched the nape of his neck. you all shook your heads in a ‘no problem’ and he walked up to his cousin to tell her his plans for the rest of the day.

“oh it’s okay jaem. i was going to ride with jeno, is it okay if we came along?” she asked while looking behind her to see his muscular figure talking to a few of his friends. jaemin kept his composure, though, and did the mature thing. he just accepted her request and walked back to his group of friends to tell them about the situation.

when he did, all eyes were on you with worry in your eyes. by this time, you were feeling a lot better than what you were feeling before and laughed at them.

“guys, i’ll be fine. we’re not together anymore, he can do whatever he wants.” though deep inside, you were really going to shit your pants because of the circumstances that happened the day prior. but it was better for them not to know, at least not yet.

in your car seated sooyoung and hyuck. you were on your way to a regular ice cream parlor which a friend worked at.

“renjun!” shouted you, jaemin and hyuck. renjun worked at this ice cream parlor for a while, you got to know him by coming here on the regular, especially during nights when you were stressed over exams or when you and jeno were having problems. therefore the guy was actually a pretty good friend of yours. renjun was a transferee at hyuck and jaemin’s university, they got to know each other then. they developed a pretty good relationship with each other too, you could tell with the way they conversed with each other.

you were laughing and joking around with renjun and your shared friends as you sat on the matching chairs of the countertop. the red reflecting in jeno’s eyes as he watched you joke with your friends and completely ignoring him and chanmi who were seated at a booth not far from where the group was. but he decided to keep quiet and try to pay attention to chanmi, she was just trying to have a good time and he didn’t blame her. but he just couldn’t help but to keep looking back at his old group of friends that all got along so well.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

it was now the last football game of the season; thursday 6 p.m. jaemin and hyuck had begged you to go after you constantly refusing and excusing that you had ‘fuckton of homework.’ they both came to your house and rang the doorbell anyways, forcing you to get ready and dragging you to the car.

“come on, jeno still talks about you. The both of you are still friends, no?” questioned jaemin. it took you a while to answer him but you guessed that was what you could call yours and jeno’s relationship as of now.

the three of you arrived on the field and sat on the bleachers right above jeno’s team. just fucking great, you rolled your eyes and mentally punched both jaemin and hyuck where they did not want to be punched. with burning eyes, you glared at your friends and wished to get away from that situation. you sat fidgeting on the metal seats and looked down. there were still a few minutes before the big game and you saw chanmi hug jeno before kissing his cheek and wishing him good luck. the boys then looked to you— who was sitting in between them— and asked if you were okay.

“i’m definitely okay. i’m so okay… listen, i don’t know why you guys are so caught up between jneo and i. it’s our relationship and if he moved on then good for him,” the sarcasm was dripping from your voice. but they picked up on the bitter tone that dripped out of your lips.

you focused back on the field. and you don’t know whether it was the chilly wind or your feelings overcoming you, but there were tears in your eyes almost the entire game. not a word was spoken between the three of you. the boys were still friends with jeno so you broke the silence and excused yourself to go to the bathroom. however in the hall, stood jeno with his hands covering his face.

you were his best friend over everything so of course he noticed you were there. he was happy you ended up going after the begs of hyuck and jaemin, after begging his friends to ask you.

“hi, jen,” your soft voice interrupted his lonely session. he smiled at you and greeted you as well.

“so, uhm, how’ve you been? it’s kinda been a while, yeah?” you asked, initiating the conversation. his eyes are lit up, “i’ve been good, you? and yeah it has been a while, i hope you’re doing okay.” the conversation was more civil than you thought it would be, but it wasn’t bad, of course. better than what you imagined your next conversation would be.

“minjung’s been wondering what you’ve been up to. she misses you tons.” you laughed and thought about his beloved older sister. “jangmi misses you too. so does my dad.” the atmosphere was awkwardly quiet for a moment before you heard the whistle from the ref. you then patted his shoulder and wished him good luck before actually going to the bathroom.

your university football team won that night. and you were immensely proud of jeno. he truly was blooming into a man, especially after the conversation the two of you had. he was growing as a person, and you were happy he was. you’ve known him all his life, you knew he was changing, and for the better.

—

“true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart,” the two of you recited while looking through memory books from who knows how long. you almost lost your best friend because of stupid feelings, but you both learned and grew from them. it was all for the better and you are both glad to still be best friends.

“jeno’s just a friend, mom. it’s simple.”

“y/n’s just a friend mom. it’s simple.”

“we’re best friends. nothing more, nothing less.”