#honestly nothing makes me feel so challenged and thrilled as writing like this

[leejenowrld]

Hello pretty 💕

Your brain is so f r e a k I n g sexy omg 😮

Also I feel like this us so late B U T

I remember reading one anon dropping an thought about I think my first and last ( MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE BTW! I RE-READ IT WEEKLY LIKE ITS MY BIBLE 👀 NO OFFENSE SO ANY RELIGION!!!!) and it was about how Jeno and y/n had a one night thing : so like jeno had a fith some(?) and like once he was like inside of y/n OUR SEXY MAN got obsessed like he pushed of the other girls and only cared about being intimate with y/n ( SORRY I AM SO AKWARD AT WRITING SEXY STUFF 😭) and after that he grew even more obsessed and couldn't get hard by anyone else and just is such a silly lil cutie for her.

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT? CAUSE IT DOES NOT LEAVE MY MIND! I AM OBSESSED EITH THAT.

Do you think you could still my hunger and elaborate/ give some headcanon or thoughts on how this could turn out based on your characters?

Love youuuuu

hiiii thank you so much 🥺 i honestly can’t believe how much love mfal gets… it’s always gonna be so incredibly special to me <333 and im so happy you guys love it as much as i do. i haven’t written mfal content in a while so here you go :) enjoy

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jeno’s wild reputation was something everyone knew about. his sexual past wasn’t just a whisper—it was a loud, unapologetic legacy. he’d been the guy who didn’t think twice about hooking up with random girls at parties, the one who’d dive headfirst into orgies, threesomes, or anything that fed his insatiable appetite for thrill and pleasure. his body count was high enough to be a campus joke, but jeno didn’t care. he thrived in the chaos of it all—the quick fucks, the anonymous hands on his skin, the breathless moments that meant nothing the second they were over. he was confident, cocky even, and the attention only fueled his endless hunger.

but then there was you.

you weren’t just another face in the crowd, another fleeting body to conquer. you were different, even before he could fully understand why. it wasn’t about sex at first—not at all. it was the way you challenged him, how your presence lingered in his mind long after he’d walked away. as the two of you started getting to know each other, forming a tentative friendship, something in jeno began to shift. the nights he used to spend tangled in someone else’s sheets started feeling empty, meaningless. for the first time in his life, he found himself hesitating, turning girls down without even realizing it. he didn’t want them anymore—not when his thoughts were so completely consumed by you.

and then there was the first time he had you.

jeno had thought he knew everything there was to know about sex—every position, every way to make someone come undone. but with you, it was entirely different. it wasn’t just about the mechanics or the thrill. it was about the way your body molded to his, the way your soft gasps turned into desperate moans, the way your fingers dug into his back as if you couldn’t bear to let him go. sliding into you for the first time was like nothing he’d ever experienced. you were so tight, so warm, and the way you clenched around him had his head spinning. it wasn’t just sex; it was consuming, overwhelming, addictive.

he couldn’t get enough—the slow roll of his hips, the way your nails raked down his skin, the broken cries of his name spilling from your lips. the way your body responded to his every touch, the way you surrendered completely but also met him halfway, made him feel like he was drowning in you. jeno lost himself in the rhythm, the heat, the sheer intimacy of it all. he couldn’t stop whispering how perfect you felt, how you were made for him, how he couldn’t believe he’d ever settled for anything less.

and it wasn’t just that first time. every time with you was like that—intense, raw, and utterly consuming. no matter how many times he had you, it was never enough. he’d memorize the way your body reacted to him, the way you’d moan his name like a prayer, the way your legs would tremble around him when he pushed you over the edge. it wasn’t just sex—it was connection, obsession, and love all tangled together in a way that left him breathless every single time.

jeno didn’t just stop sleeping around because of you. he stopped because no one else even came close. the idea of touching anyone else, of letting anyone else touch him, made him feel physically ill. you were it for him—the only one who mattered, the only one who could make him feel alive in a way nothing else ever had. he was addicted to you, to the way you made him feel, to the way you let him be himself without judgment.

and now, jeno wasn’t just the guy with the wild past. he was yours—entirely, completely, and without hesitation. he’d trade every meaningless hookup, every fleeting thrill, for just one more night with you, for one more chance to lose himself in everything you were. you weren’t just his lover; you were his anchor, his obsession, his everything.

[eldritch-nightmare]

hi hi !! i was wondering if you could make any creepypastas of your choice (but if you can please include toby) with a final girl reader? you know that cliche of slasher movies, thank you <3

a/n: fun fact abt me my favorite final girls r carly from house of wax and princess from laid to rest. and arkin from the collector. he is everything to me. honestly wasn't all too sure who i wanted to put in this so i just sorta chose at random?? idk maybe in the future i can use this premise for some of the others if u guys want that. this is really short nd kinda bad tho and i apologize for that. i'm trying to ease myself back into writing so tht might b why tbh

warnings: not proofread. pre-relationship?? the romance isn't really there for the most part but the obsession is, attempted murder, gn reader, reader has a younger brother in lj's part, laughing jack is probably actually his own warning i think he's kinda. kinda fucked up in this. many mentions of attempted harm to a child.

includes: ticci toby, jeff the killer, and laughing jack.

TICCI TOBY

He had been tasked to kill you. He doesn't know the reason, nor does he really care. Maybe you knew too much, or maybe Slender had other reasons. Whatever they were, you had to die.

And Toby rarely ever messed up an assignment. He never had any issues killing anyone. Sure, they typically fought back, but he'd always get them in the end. He didn't think you'd be any different.

He was rather... surprised, to put it simply, when you proved to be a challenge.

You didn't want to die, so you fought back. Hard. Honestly, it was impressive how determined you were to live. He's never really met someone like you before.

This is one of those very rare times where he's a bit glad he can't feel pain, because if he could feel the pain he gained from you fighting back, he probably would've blacked out from it.

The only reason you get away the first time is because you had stabbed him one too many times and he didn't really want to bleed out and die, thank you very much.

He still had a job to finish though, so you fighting back meant nothing to him. He was told to kill you, and that's what he planned on doing.

It didn't matter how long it took. Though, as time went on, Toby couldn't help but find himself wondering what he would do with himself when he actually killed you.

He's never found any joy in hunting someone down, but he finds himself strangely excited when it comes to you. It's the first time he's ever felt this way for someone he was meant to murder.

He doesn't really want to let that excitement go just yet, and maybe he's delusional but it almost seemed as if you were having fun with these little life-or-death chases you two had.

Maybe he lets you get away a few times. You would've been dead a long time ago if he hadn't found you interesting.

And who knows... maybe he can convince Slender that you're a worthy candidate to be a proxy... that way, he won't have to kill you.

JEFF THE KILLER

Absolutely thrilled at the idea.

Jeff is a big fan of horror movies, and he's always dreamed of having some final girl type of person that he could never kill.

Key word. He dreamed of it. He's not a big fan of it when it actually finally happens, not at first.

You were annoying, always somehow dodging his knife and managing to fight back against him long enough to make your escape.

Now, normally, Jeff would've just dropped you and gone on with his killing spree. He didn't have to kill you, and it's not like he's scared of you going to the police. He's already on the FBI's most wanted, trust me, he couldn't care less.

But there was a thrill that went through him whenever he got close to killing you. Each time he's able to cut you, he feels his heart pound in his chest.

It reminds him of when he first started killing, and that feeling was becoming addictive.

He didn't even realize how obsessed he had become with killing you until he actually got the chance to kill you. He had you cornered, and there was nowhere for you to go.

He could've ended it right then and there, but he hesitated. Jeff the fucking killer hesitated to actually kill someone. What the fuck? That made no sense.

The hesitation was enough that it gave you a chance to get away, leaving Jeff alone to ponder why he had hesitated.

And during that time, he left you alone.

But trust me, once he finally figures out why he hesitated, he'll be back. You can't escape him.

LAUGHING JACK

Hates it and hates you. Your little brother was supposed to be an easy kill. He had been so desperate for a friend, neglected by his parents, that he was eager to let Jack into his life.

But then you had to come home for the holidays, and suddenly it was hard to get the brat alone without you being around. The only time he could torment your brother was when everyone else in the house was asleep.

When your little brother went to you crying about how his friend Jack was being mean, telling him horrible things, you weren't supposed to fucking believe the kid. You were supposed to be like the others, brushing off the kid's concerns and sending him back to bed.

But you didn't. You believed your brother, and now you can fucking see him, and he hated it. Oh, he wanted to kill your little brother so badly, but he wanted to kill you more for ruining all the fun.

All of the torment on your little brother stops, and instead he starts tormenting you instead. His ultimate goal was to get you to kill your little brother. It would be a satisfying thing for him to see. And maybe even poetic. You're trying so hard to protect him, and you end up being the one to kill him... that would be nice.

But you don't make it easy for him.

Seeing your fear was entertaining, especially when he was able to strike at your insecurities. At some point, he found that he didn't mind how long this little plan of his would take. He just wanted to see what made you cry. What scared you? What had you reeling away in disgust? What made you laugh?

Okay, that last one confuses him and he does not at all want to know what makes you laugh. No. No he does not.

Sometimes, he doesn't even torment you. He just silently watches you, which you find to be arguably worse than him actually trying to cause you harm.

It felt like he was studying you whenever he did that, and you hated it.

And Jack finds himself struggling to hate you the longer this takes. You've become interesting. He finds himself looking forward to seeing you, and he finds himself admiring you whenever you end up smiling when he's around.

Though, that's not something he's quite ready to admit yet.

[depressopax]

Jimmy McGill relationship headcanons

Fandom - Breaking Bad/Better call Saul

Jimmy x gn!reader || NSFW HC's

Pairing: Jimmy McGill x gn!reader Genre: Smut, headcanons Warning(s): Sexual content. MDNI! Sub/dom dynamic. Switch Jimmy :) Degradation and cuss words. Semi-public sex. Words: 700 Summary: Dating Jimmy McGill would include… (NSFW version) English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 || AO3 link || Masterlist || Request || SFW version ||

Being over or under you? Submissive or dominant? Doesn’t matter.

He loves dominating you just as much as he likes being dominated by you

He’s a switch but leans more towards being submissive in bed.

When “being” Jimmy, he’s definitely more of a bottom, whilst Saul is more of a top.

ALTHOUGH… If he comes home stressed or frustrated one day, he’s the type of guy to like some roughness for stress relief

Fast and rough sex whilst he tells you about his day, muttering about his own problems >>>>> Therapy

Also… 👀 Reverse it! Nothing better than you slutting him out when he’s had a rough day ;)

He likes being degraded, but PLEASE don’t forget to praise this man. He needs it. <3

Just tell him he’s a good boy and watch him melt

VERY vocal in bed, deep grunts, cuss words, moans… You name it.

If you top him, you’ll definitely earn yourself some whimpers, maybe even tears

HEAR ME OUTTTT, brat Jimmy 👀

Usually when he doesn’t get “enough attention”

He’ll be the most annoying man ever until you give him what he wants (aka attention)

Are you busy with housework or even work? Too bad!

He’ll be all over you with kisses, dirty talking and challenging you to give him attention

Him pushing your buttons, enjoying it when you lose your patience with his bullshit.

Jimmy is only satisfied once you bring him to the bedroom, giving him exactly what he wants…

He loves it when you dominate him tbh

He is a needy man, even when you’re out in public

He’ll always look for excuses to touch you, and to him - there’s no “wrong moments” for love.

He’s the definition of “🥺🥺” when you don’t give him attention 💀

He has no shameee

“Meet in the bathroom in 2 minutes” at a local cafe

…Or in a changing rooms at stores

You name it

He likes the thrill of getting caught. ;)

Don’t get me started on ✨office sex✨

Almost every visit to his office ends up with you bent over his desk

…Or on your knees by his chair

Fuck it, switch it up - him kneeling before you whilst you sit in his chair - both works 👀

Honestly it’s his favorite place to do it

Maybe not the most comfortable, nor hygienic place - but oh well

Once again he likes the thrill of getting caught, or knowing he has clients waiting. But they can wait. He has better things to do

He makes sure you walk away from his office feeling satisfied (and with shaky legs) <3

He’s a big fan of quickies. Why wait all day to sleep with you, when he can do it multiple times? “What do you think quickies are for??”

A TEASEEEEE

He’ll legit turn you on “by accident” only to ignore you later

Why? “Because I can” 

And to see you beg for him. Yep, he’s unfair

Having you beg for him to do you is just hot to him. Especially when you’re angry/frustrated

…If you did the same to him tho? He’d be close to tears. And beg without shame lmao

When it comes to oral he prefers receiving.

That way he can lean back, close his eyes and enjoy being “taken care off” 

If you have longer hair he runs his hands through it, twirls it between his fingers and might pull it a bit.

Very loud and praising when receiving “Yes… Right there”“Fuck… You’re so good at that. So damn perfect.”“Keep going, sweetie. Take all of me in your pretty mouth.”

However, he does love giving too. 

Getting heads is nice, but there’s something rewarding about using his mouth to make you feel good. 

He’s damn passionate when giving, too. 

Slow, teasing movements

And caressing other parts of your body to make it more satisfying. 

Your moans and the praise he receives could make him go at it for hours. And he will…

Jimmy just finds it adorable when you whine and whimper from the pleasure being overwhelming.

He tries his best with aftercare, as long as he’s not too tired afterwards or if it was “just a quickie”

But he always tries to make sure you’re alright afterwards. 

appreciates cuddles afterwards

And he LOVES it when you give him aftercare after you’ve dominated him 

He falls asleep quick afterwards, but does so safely in your embrace 

Homeboy just needs love and affection basically <3

Not really happy with this one 😭 But I hope ya guys liked it either way lol!! <3

[livelaughlovesubs]

Nini, idk about this work and college stuff. I think I should just be a sugar baby and be paid to look cute honestly.

Girl- don’t try that route. The emotional stress and trauma you might get would be even more stressful

I mean, the sound of it might be appealing. Though I’d never take that route, because then you’d be disposable, and you’d ruin your own value or pride as a human being. Selling yourself as an object that can be discarded can be very difficult. Also I wouldn’t want someone else to have so much power over me, cuz that could be risky. You never know.

And, being giving everything you want without having to work for it might be fun at first, though soon everything will become boring. The meaning of living would fade away, since life is all about overcoming hardships and creating memories. If you didn’t need to do anything, only lazing around all day, wouldn’t that slowly make living literally hell on earth? The question of why one should stay alive would pester the individuals mind, and eventually drive them insane.

I used to be like that, so lazy that I only wanted to play games all day. Read mangas/ manhwas, fanfiction, not do anything, only staying at home. And I must say, I wasn’t happy. I was in my comfort zone, I was chilling, but I wasn’t thrilled about it. That’s when I decided to busy myself and start writing, and now I’m so busy that I keep complaining about it. Like I could have just not done kinktober but I still choose to do it, because the fulfilment of doing something or finishing it made me happy.

In the end, having a full, stressful schedule somehow was more satisfying than doing nothing except indulging. Sure, sometimes I like a lazy day, but that’s only once in a while (which is very important to take care of your health!!) but that ain’t indulging. Though that might just be me, maybe not eveyone feels this way.

If you really want to be a sugar baby I won’t stop you ofc, since I’m in no position to. Though I thought I’d give you my opinion on it :]

(Btw, it’s totally fine to not chase a high-earning job, as long as you do what you like even if it’s more challenging! There was a phrase that went smt like this, “you can’t be good at something you absolutely detest.” )

Anyway, good luck doing whatever you love!

[002yb]

Current thoughts: Dick and Jay and the intricacies of their aggressions. Because they're not hostile (not anymore) but there's still a bite to each smile and nails in each hold, and it's not because they don't feel safe but they're just so overwhelmed and overstimulated in each other that they just have to have some sort of grounding. 

It comes with Dick saying "ill take care of you" and it stays when the older man presses in, spreading himself everywhere until hes all that Jason can see and feel. Dick presses into Jason's space, soft touches - almost healing - reverently smoothing his hands over his bruises and holding him tight - tight - tight and Jason thinks he might just turn into electricity with all the tingling under his skin so he bites. Not hard but enough to startle Dick for a while and he just watches Jason who has a flushed face - spreading ear to neck and further - sink teeth into his forearm in an almost adorable display of vulnerability with a wicked grin. 

Or when Jason tries to take care of Dick in his “your the world” way, because seeing Dick in that loving light is just so easy for Jason- as easy as breathing - it takes Dicks own breath away. The way he follows without a thought, pushes gently at his cheek, his foot, his hands - not quite a hold but enough to say i'm here- never far -always for you. It makes something warm envelop him until because Jason is so soft- and he might melt out of his skin and cling onto whatever Jason gives him so he has to gain SOME sort of control and he just sort of manhandles Jason. He’s not harmful but it's enough to have Jason grasping at air and anything he can get his hands on to try and settle himself and Dick just sorta treats him like he's pocket sized. 

And maybe Dick grows fond of pushing Jason until his boy has to bite down and leave his little marks on his skin - and maybe Jason chases the thrill of the safety he never knew in being overpowered by his Robin- but they don't have to tell.

askjherofntfewo this one got so long im so sorry :,,,)

This is the epitome of indulgence; I've been so thoroughly spoiled. Anon~ you write so beautifully ahhhhhhh this is an actual gift, a masterpiece; I want to read it forever (along with your other ask(s), honestly LOL). Ffffffff I've never felt so understood in my dickjay preferences, but Anon you get me. ( ॢ ´ U `͈ॢ)･*♡ Thank you so much for sharing these lovely thoughts ahhhhhhhh I can't wait for everyone else to read them and bask in the glory; amazing!!

Ybb's two cents under the cut (jk everything got moved beneath a cut?) because all I've got is scattered imaginings inspired by the above I'm a;oifja;woiejfaiowejf !! Fair warning that it's not nearly as eloquent as the above lol. Idk if I kept with the beautiful theme of the intricacies of aggressions, but there is...

°₊·ˈ∗♡ s a u c y s o f t n e s s ♡∗ˈ‧₊°

Overwhelmed!Jason is my everything (next to maiden!Jason). Just the way his breath would catch in his lungs, an audible stutter that he would bite back behind clenched teeth and try to swallow down only for it to claw its way back out of him - almost a sob for how broken it sounds. And Dick - it does more than take his breath away to hear something so vulnerable and wanton; it makes his heart race and stutter and skip. It makes him feel too warm, too endeared, too much. He would smile though, all teeth and bite. Sometimes playfully ornery about it or impishly teasing and always, always bewitched. There's nothing more alluring than the rise and fall of Jason's chest, that sign of life.

Only that's a lie, because just as captivating is the way Jason falls apart just by being touched (by him - by Dick alone), the way Jason taunts and challenges and torments Dick until Dick pushes back and then Jason smiles. Wicked and devastating and wonderful.

For as blunt as Jason's nails are, Dick's skin is all raised welts from the drag of them; moon-shaped crescents from where Jason's nails dig in. And to match, Jason's body is a constellation of bruises - the black and blue of fingertips, the wine-color of open-mouthed kisses.

They would both shudder at the residual ache of it all, those phantom sensations. Jason with mapping out where Dick's hands fell on him, held him, loved and adored and revered him. And Dick, marveling raised lines that fade too soon. Scratching over them with a sort of fond affection before covering them, hiding them away (or purposefully showing them off, oh my).

The manhandling, the biting; the thrill of overpowering and being overpowered. It's flirtatious, sure. More than that - it's trusting. It's fun. It's connecting in a way that lets them understand each other better than they've ever understood one another before. Raw and honest; terrifying, only not. It's addicting.

Offhand thoughts: the graze of Dick's teeth over Jason's nape as Jason bites down on Dick's hand. Jason (big, small; it doesn't matter) so overwhelmed by too many points of contact that he digs his teeth in, breath catching in that way that makes Dick's heart race, his blood sing.

That's all I got for now, anon~ I'll get to your other ask when I have some more time (I love it!!). Thank you again for spoiling me with such indulgent thoughts; they're ~ s t u n n i n g ~ ( ∩ˇωˇ∩)♡

[ballonleastadiumofficial]

Fine.

FINE.

In light of recent events, it appears I've made a post that has displeased many of you. I... apologize. It was not my intention to make anyone upset. I believe... I typed largely without thinking, and defaulted to a train of thought that was once natural to me. I won't deny that there is a part of me that truly believes what I said, (and that squirms at the idea of acting remorseful for it), but that part of me is a leftover from a long time ago, and I'll make an attempt to rise above it. After all, it's a gym leader's job to be an example for others, is it not? I'd be dreadful at that if I didn't make more attempts to spread positivity...

With that said, allow me to humbly try to rectify my statements by taking a moment to... hmph... appreciate the types that I named in that post.

Oh, this will be difficult.

Bug types. Oh, bug types. let's just get the hardest ones out of the way first, shall we. I believe... I appreciate the transformations some bug types go through. Like going from Caterpie to a graceful Butterfree, or Grubbin to a fearsome Vikavolt. I see myself in that. It feels very inspiring, even if I still wouldn't allow a Vivillon to land on my arm.

Specifically, @artyburgh, Leavanny is one of the few bug types I'd be able to call "cute", and I appreciate its caring nature. It's expressive in ways I'm not accustomed to in bug types. I also think it's one of the few pokemon you can say has a sense of style, ehehehehe... hem. Furthermore, I enjoy the sense of style you bring to your gym, if such praise means anything to you from a budding gym leader such as myself.

Dark types... I respect the challenge they've presented to me in the past. Contrary to what one might think, I do enjoy being presented with hurdles to outsmart- not only does it make me appear capable when I manage to do so, but it's simply... engaging. Thrilling, even. As a former psychic type trainer, dark types being immune to my attacks certainly was a challenge I had to rise to meet. I believe battling some of them made me a better trainer. Not to mention, their cunning is ever so slightly reminiscent of the trickery I enjoy in fairies, even if it may be... annoying, occasionally.

@grimsley-official, I respect your restraint, but... I suppose... hmmmmph. I suppose just because I'm a "kid" doesn't make my platform any less impactful (at least I should hope so), and dark types already receive quite a bit of slander from the public as it is. I should not have said what I did. Also, Liepard is a wonderful choice for a pokemon- It's proud and elegant nature is very endearing. In fact, I find many of your choices to be quite respectable. If I had to pick dark types, anyway... @piers-official, I'd say I also find your cohesive team choices and commitment to your aesthetic admirable, even if it is one I'd never see for myself. Malamar, in particular... such a presence from a pokemon...

Poison types... poison types, poison types, poison types... Tch. I simply don't believe I like them. But, I can see that they're fierce battlers. In fact, I see that all the time, given that people are constantly bringing them into my gym. But that's beside the point. Their battle style is unique and all their own, and I can acknowledge that it might appeal to some. And of course there are a few I don't mind, like the Glimmora in Paldea or Roserade I see about Galar. Venonat looks like something Miss Opal would like.

@rockstar-roxie, I can not honestly say I enjoy any of your pokemon, but I suppose they need someone to care and vouch for them all the same. Hats off to you for doing so.

Steel types- this one happens to be quite easy. They're sleek, efficient, streamlined... very proper pokemon. Nothing to write home about, In my opinion, but not inherently awful for any reason either. Other than being very good at defeating my fairy types, I suppose.

I don't happen to want to go into detail about why they make me uncomfortable to be around.

I acknowledge that dragon types are extremely strong. I do believe the consensus in official leagues is that they are, pokemon for pokemon, one of the most powerful types there are. And anyone who would seriously invest in training even one of them... I understand that it is quite the ordeal, so I must respect anyone who has managed it as a pokemon trainer. Just... kindly keep those jaws at arms length from me. Please.

Ground types... from a battling perspective, it's difficult to completely disregard ground type moves, as it's the only type that is super effective against electric types. Even my Rapidash knows Drill Run. They have a very respectable battling niche, and I should not be so quick to dismiss them. It's only... the dirt... shudder. I realize that that's a personal problem, though, and I ought not to let it get in the way of the way I perceive the pokemon themselves.

@underground-boss-clay, even I have to admit that the Galarian Wild Area would never be the same without the Palpitoad song in the evenings. Perhaps appreciation for that pokemon is something that we can actually agree on?

And for those of you who I haven't mentioned by name, how about this- for the next ten relevant asks I receive, if you send me something about one of your pokemon, I'll be obligated to compliment it no matter what manner of creature it is. Does that feel fair to you?

Sigh... I HOPE everyone's satisfied now.

[mrsaltieri-real]

His Perfect Victim (Mickey Altieri x OC!Dahlia Levine)

Chapter 8: Scars and Secrets

Words: 3k

Warnings: language, angst, PTSD, fluff, stabbing, blood, arguing, violence, making out, suggestive, mickey actually being sweet, etc

This chapter was both sad and fun to write. My girl has so much trauma and it’s so hard to write but at the same time, so necessary for future chapters. Thank you one again to @bisexual-horror-fan for beta reading and editing this for me. Your additions only made it hurt so good even more. I love you dude.

@lizey-thornberry for tags.

Secrets. I have never much liked secrets.

My own, or other peoples, I’d rather people just not tell me anything. My reasoning was that it was better not knowing, so I wouldn’t accidentally run my mouth or feel the overwhelming, bone breaking and soul crushing pressure of having to lie about something.

But this is one secret I didn’t mind keeping, not at all.

Mickey and I decided to keep our “relationship test run” on the down low, and I honestly preferred it this way. It wasn’t because either one of us were ashamed or conflicted, it was simply because it was easier.

I didn’t need the disapproval from Randy, I could picture him sitting across from me, his expression tattling on his extreme displeasure and when questioned his lips would purse, eyebrows would raise, hands up he would say, “Nothing.” But it’s not nothing, I know it and he knows it, his fucking shitty tone showing it as clear as the sky is blue. I also couldn’t take the pressing questions from Hallie, could practically feel her hand crushing mine as she talks a mile a minute, it was enough to make a headache crop up if I lingered too long. I just wanted to remain in the newly blown bubble that was being with him.

There was a small kind of thrill in the sneaking around. He took me on secret dates to the movies or for dinner, always met me before and after classes, walked me to my lectures, just hanging out in the square and we talked.

Fuck, we talked about anything we could think of. It was mainly about him, that being my own choice. I didn’t like talking about myself, because the questioning will always lead to the one thing I didn’t want to talk about. That one thing, or rather one person, should be obvious.

Stu.

Even back then, I wasn’t stupid. Mickey knew Stu was my cousin and how close we were, so it was only natural for someone to be curious about the missed signs and warnings that he was who he was. He’d asked gently a couple of times, but I’d simply shrugged off the question or made a small dismissive comment and swiftly changed the subject back into his affliction with movies.

No matter how much time I spent with him, I never understood how he got so into his films. He’d watch the same ones a thousand times over and over again and be just as eager and engulfed as the first.

It was endearing, but I never understood. He would try to explain the complexities and deep-rooted meanings behind the films but was met with nothing but a blank stare which just made him laugh. No matter how much he expounded it never clicked for me, but he didn’t mind, if anything it seems like he relished the challenge and hoped it might happen, or, he was at least into the fun we had along the way while he kept trying.

I liked how he made me feel normal. How he didn’t look at me like the crazy girl from Woodsbro, but instead with intrigue and an intense curiosity that should have made me uncomfortable, instead of that though, it made me feel seen for the first time in my entire life.

But the thing that I liked most about him? Mickey never pressured me, never tried to coax me into absolutely anything I didn’t want to do. Honestly, his patience surprised me. He never failed to surprise me. If I continue to be honest, the annoying thought in the back of my head was consistently that he wouldn’t be able to hold out, wouldn’t be able to wait and would simply have to fuck it out of his system with somebody because I just wasn’t ready. I liked him, but I didn’t fully trust him enough to hand over that part of myself to him just yet.

But he never did.

Spending time with him was even more fun, even more playful. He told awful jokes, sending me into fits of laughter over and over again. But although we talked, there was always something… Off. Everyone had secrets, but there was just something about him that seemed a little more closed off than the average person.

He’d occasionally get phone calls and excuse himself on dates, coming back and being oddly quiet and distant afterwards. It was disconcerting, but I tried to not let my imagination go into overdrive. It was hard, but like I said. I hated secrets, so I remained blissfully ignorant.

Stupid, right?

One morning, after a couple of weeks of seeing Mickey, I got a phone call from Randy. I realized, over the last few weeks, I hadn’t really seen much of him. Of course, that was completely my fault and I felt terrible, so I eagerly agreed to meet up with him to talk.

I sat in the library, picking at my nails, and I felt nervous. Why did I feel so worried about seeing Randy? Because the kid saw straight through me. He’d know instantly if I lied to him about absolutely anything, and I hated knowing that I couldn’t tell him about one of the few things that brought even a small smattering of joy to my life.

He wouldn’t understand.

When I heard the doors swing open and glanced up and saw Randy walking down the small aisle, a halfhearted smile on his face as he sent a little wave my way as he approached me.

I smiled widely back at him before he settled down across the table from me with a sarcastic, “Long time no see.” My smile falls, and he asks, “Where the hell have you been?”

“I’ve been busy.” I replied with a dismissive wave of my hand before dropping it to fidget with one of the rings on my fingers. His eyes dropped to the action, eyebrows raising a fraction.

“Busy with Mickey?” He asked, a strange and almost biting tone to his voice that made me give him a look. He was refusing to look at me, as if caught up in how nimble fingers twirled the ring around and around.

“Don’t start, Randy.” I said with a sigh, I stopped fussing with polished sliver, leaning back on the chair.

His eyes are back on me as he insists, “We don’t talk anymore, Dahlia. We haven’t in weeks, and I’m assuming that’s thanks to him.”

I said nothing, simply staring at him with narrowed eyes.

A beat of silence, heavier than I’d like. He breaks the tension and says just what I expected him to, “You lied to me, you told me nothing was going on between you and Mi-“

“Why the hell do you care?” I interrupted him, my voice sharper than I intended it to be. I don’t soften my tone as I continue, “So what I’m hanging out with him, why the fuck does it matter, Randy?”

“Jesus Christ, Dahlia. Don’t be so transparent, you’re a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them.” Randy rolled his eyes, before his hand came up, rubbing over his face before he continued, “He’s a fucking asshole, why would you waste your time on him? After everything you’ve been through with-“

“You know what-“ I interrupted him again, standing up, palms smacking against the wood as I did, Randy jumping slightly at how loud and sudden it was. I leaned over, snatching my bag off the seat next to me with a scoff, “- Fuck this. You’re the one who told me that Mickey makes me seem like a person again, and now you’re telling me I’m wasting my time with him? Fuck you, I don’t owe you or anyone else an explanation, so get off my dick.” I snapped as I angrily walked behind his chair toward the exit.

“Yeah, spoken like a true fucking lady. You know what, don’t come crying to me when he breaks your heart, Dahlia.” Randy swivelled in his chair, staring at my retreating form as he yelled after me, earning a few angrily hushed whispers from other students.

I ignore him, hands hit the door hard, swinging it open and stepping out into the bright sunlight again. As soon as I was outside, I sucked in the fresh air, the door swings closed, and I stepped to the side, my eyes closing as I leaned against the cool brick of the building.

I loved Randy, he meant the world to me, but his growing dislike for Mickey at that moment was killing me. I hated it. I hated that my best friend only somewhat tolerated the guy I was seeing and vice versa. Mickey had had plenty to say about Randy over the last couple of weeks, stuff I instantly shut down.

“Come on, Dahl,” Mickey had said with a roll of his eyes as he sat on my bed, snatching up my pillow and shaking it out, before putting it back down and leaning against it, he was looking at me with an amused expression, “Meeks is down bad for you and everyone can fucking see it!”

“Someone jealous?” I’d asked playfully, walking over to him, a knee hitting the mattress, his eyes dropped momentarily before flicking back up to meet my gaze, as I get onto the bed. A few easy moves on my knees and then perching myself on his lap. His hands automatically rested on my waist as the breathtaking smile took over his face.

“No, I’m just observant. I don’t do jealousy.” He’d said nonchalantly with a slight shrug.

“Oh, you don’t do jealously?” I scoffed, hands moving to the back of his neck, fingers lacing together and pressing over his spine. “Bullshit.”

His smile shifts slightly, more of a half smirk as he asks, “What have I got to be jealous about? I’ve got you, he doesn’t, and he never fucking will.”

He had an edge to his voice, something I didn’t catch on to, and now? I desperately wish I did.

After I got home from the awful meeting with Randy, Mickey was already waiting for me, sat on my bed with his eyes glued to a television that definitely didn’t belong to me.

“How the hell did you get in here?” I asked with a sigh, tossing my keys into the bowl by the door and dropping my bag next to the door.

Mickey’s eyes flickered to me, a small smile on his lips as he shrugged, “Not gonna tell you that, let’s just say I’ve got my ways.” He replied, arms automatically opening to me. I obliged him, strode forward and fell onto the bed and into him, letting him take me into his arms and kiss me softly on the lips, the smile still present on his face.

“I got you a television and a VCR.” He mumbled against my mouth before pulling away and gesturing to it, “I’m going to get you back into movies if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Sure. And it’ll be the last thing you ever do if you try and get me to watch Halloween again.” I muttered back, making him chuckle and lie back down on the bed, carefully pulling me next to him.

“You look sad, what’s wrong?” he asked straight away, the smile quickly turning into a frown.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said softly, raising my finger to trace the small frown lines appearing on his face. “Let’s do something else then.” He said gently, moving to hover over me a little, his lips touching my throat, my jaw and then my lips softly. It had no hidden meaning behind it, just very tender and sweet, so much so it made my argument with Randy almost entirely leave me.

Almost.

The ending credits to a movie on the VCR were rolling, how long had he been here? We were making out in my bed, his hands were moving over my body, light as a feather and honestly, it felt good. I felt normal, no trauma, no pain, no memories. That was until, Mickey’s fingers lightly grazed over the scar of my stab wound.

Everything changed very quickly after that. It felt like all the air was sucked out of the room, stomach drops and heart pounds, sweat springs to the surface of my skin.

I could see everything. It was like I was there again and Billy Loomis stood over me, face furiously excited above me, his brown eyes wild and menacing as his body loomed over mine.

I felt his body lower, one of his hands gripping my throat as the cold steel of his knife embedded in my torso, once, twice, three times. I gasped, pathetically trying and failing to move, to push him off of me, but he just held me there, his strength far too much for me as he twisted the knife inside of me until I screamed soundlessly. My head twisting to the side and my eyes meeting Stu’s wide blue ones. He looked away, flinching just slightly at the weakening sounds of my agonized gasps. I could feel my own blood spilling from my stomach, staining the linoleum beneath me with a rapid flow, completely coating my skin, soaking into my shirt.

“Billy-“ Stu spoke, his tone strained as his eyes shifted to Billy, unable to look at me.

“She’s a loose fucking end, Stu! Family or not.” Billy spat, forcing his weight onto the knife as my body began to go limp, eyes still fixed on my cousin and unable to move away. If I was going to die, I wanted him to be the last person I saw. Not this part of him, but the fond memories. Growing up together, playing together in his backyard, wreaking havoc during family gatherings, “What? Do you really think she’s just not going to tell anyone what we did?”

“She wouldn’t-“ Stu tried uselessly to argue, but that’s the last thing I heard before everything turned black, and I gasped out a final breath.

“Dahlia? Dahlia- Ow, fuck, Dahlia!”

My eyes snapped open and Mickey had my hands pinned over my head. I gasped breathlessly, head falling down to look at my exposed stomach. No blood, just the healed over scar slightly protruding above the smooth surface of my skin.

Mickey’s eyes were confused and concerned as he stared down at me, finally releasing my wrists as he watched the realization wash over my face, the tears welling in my eyes.

I didn’t cry, I wasn’t that person anymore. But fuck, the tears suddenly wouldn’t stop as I stared up at Mickey, completely frozen as I noticed the slight faint red mark beginning to blossom across his cheek.

“What happened there, huh?” His voice was gentle as he slowly sat back on the bed, hair messy and ruffled from my fingers previously woven through the thick dark strands.

I shook my head once, arms shakily moving to wrap around myself protectively as my eyes moved to fixate on the wall, counting one, two, three, one, two, three over and over again in my head to try and relax myself.

“Dahl?” His voice was quiet, almost hesitant as he leaned forward a little, head tilted slightly to the side.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled quietly, still not being able to look him in the eye.

“For what? Oh, this?” His hand rose to his cheek and he chuckled gently with a shake of his head, “I’ve had worse.”

I sniffed once, forcing myself to look at him and reached out my fingers to lightly touch the flushed red skin and I sighed, cringing in embarrassment and guilt. “I’d never do that on purpose. I just-“ I sighed, dropping my hand and pulling my legs up to rest my forehead on my knees. He stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue.

“It hasn’t happened in a while, but sometimes I get these… Flashbacks of what happened in Woodsbro. It’s like I’m there again. So when you touched my scar, I guess it just brought it all back.”

My voice was muffled, but I knew he understood me when I felt his hand rest softly on my shoulder, and he said lightly, “Hey, we’ve all got our demons. It’s not going to be like that forever, Dahl.”

“I know. I’m sorry I hit you.” I peeked up at his face and was surprised to see he was half smiling at me, expression torn.

“Pfft, you’re sorry? You got a mean right hook on you baby, don’t apologize for that. At least I know you can protect yourself if-“ His voice trailed off quickly, and he shook his head, gently gripping my bicep in his large hand and pulling me next to him, “There’s no rush, okay? If you aren’t ready, if things are too much right now, we can wait.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, eyeing him and feeling a little skeptical. At that moment, Randy’s previous statement about Mickey breaking my heart couldn’t be ringing further from the truth.

His smile warmed, and he nodded, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into my arm. I didn’t miss the quick glance downward to my stab wound before his eyes flashed back to mine.

“It’s gross, I know.” I sighed, gently moving so I could tug my shirt down, self consciousness rife in the motion.

“Gross? No. I think it adds character.” He commented, letting go of my arm as his phone buzzed softly on my bedside table. He grabbed it quickly, eyes scanning whatever text he received with a small frown before he stood up, sliding his cell into his back pocket. He stood over me for a moment, his finger moving under my chin to lift my eyes from his disappeared phone and to his face as he spoke, “I gotta go ice my cheek,” he half joked, but his expression remained the same, “Are you going to be okay?”

I nodded, not trusting my voice as his head ducked down, responding to his lips halfheartedly, which he didn’t seem to notice as he left my dorm, leaving me sat on my bed staring at the closed door.

CHAPTER NINE HERE

[infinitefluffderg]

Jesse’s 2022 Game Review

PHowdy folks! With another year on the verge of collapse and the circus tent to be propped up a-new with a new coat of paint, it’s time to talk briefly about videos game. In the past, I made a list of my top 10 favorite games, diluted into my infamous prose heavy stylings. Not this year. Though you cannot force me away with many bars of corvid ownership from the act of getting flowery with dialogue, I’ll at least attempt terseness. Key word: attempt. Also, 5. 5′s a nice number and it’s less painful to write for.

As a quick reminder to all unfamiliar with my reviewing style: these are games that I’ve played this year that have left the largest impact on me. They aren’t games that came out this year (usually) and they aren’t games I played a lot of this year (though if they were, then DRG would be number 1). Usually I favor uniqueness and innovation over most other factors. Every game on this list is a banger and a half and gets my highest recommendation. With that squared away, let us begin.

Runners Up:

There were a LOT of great games that I played and honestly it becomes very difficult to rank games when all of them are just so damn good. So here’s a list of games in no particular order that really blew me away this year, but not enough to make the top 5.

Tropico 6

Satisfactory

Potionomics

Fight Knight

Disco Elysium

Dead Cells

The Forgotten City

5. Grounded

I play games with my boyfriend a lot. Usually, every day, if possible, we’ll sink a couple hours into our favorite multiplayer experiences. So I usually try to find us new experiences to enjoy to go alongside favorite staples. Grounded as a “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” survival sim oozing with style and at high recommendation from others, was one I knew would be a hit even before we played it. And then we played it. Well, he played it a lot more than I did, but, I still helped out a lot.

Truthfully, Grounded is as much an RPG as a Survival Sim as you gradually update and upgrade your gear to deal with increasing challenge in this tiny world. The combat system is robust, there’s always a new unique challenge ahead of you, and the bugs are as adorable as they are horrifying. I could sleep with the little noises Ladybugs make in this game. If someone has exported all the bug sounds from this game, hit me up.

4. Super Animal Royale

Like I said in the last game choice, my boyfriend and I play together a lot, so we look for fun multiplayer experiences. SAR was his choice, and one he picked up because free is always welcome. And yeah, SAR knocks it out of the park. Not only is the gameplay well balanced and a thrill to fight online in, but it also manages to create one of the rare Free To Play experiences where you really want to pay the devs money just to support their game.

Nothing gameplay-wise is locked behind a fee, everything you would spend real money on is cosmetic. Plus, if you did like cosmetics, it’s super easy to get enough premium currency by playing the game to afford one of their battlepasses. These passes don’t expire too! You can always go back and level older passes if cosmetics in one season stood out more than other ones. If you’re interested in a cute animal top down and haven’t given SAR a try yet, there’s really no better time than now.

3. Ultrakill

I listen to Ultrakill’s OST on and off when I need something higher energy while I work on complicated projects. Similarly, Ultrakill is the most stylish FPS with Quake graphics I’ve played/witnessed. It runs off rule of cool similarly to its direct inspiration - Devil May Cry. And it all plays so damn smooooooooth.

My boyfriend (don’t tire of me talking about him, we do games together A LOT) is considerably better at this game than I am and I feel like I judge some of my opinions over how much he plays a game. At writing, he has P ranked the entire game on all difficulties, and Cyber Grinds (endless mode) for the fun of it. He’s gotten to Wave 25 I think? I’ll need to check with him again sometime. Anyways, he’ll show me how P-2 looks since his ability is on a whole other level.

2. Yakuza 0

I finally dipped my toes into Yakuza this year and HOOOOOOLY SHIT I was unprepared for what would be a hell of an experience. As someone who has played through Kiwami and about a third of Kiami 2 (remakes of the first and second games), 0 is the absolute best way to hook someone on the series. As the title suggests, it’s a prologue introducing the back stories for the two main runners of Kiryu’s ongoing quest to be a positive influence in the lives of orphans and others. And live. An amazing soap opera thriller crime drama that hits incredible heights constantly throughout its running, silly grade-A side stories, a solid difficulty curve, and much much more.

And by starting with 0, you get the amazing build up to go with it. 0′s incredible story helps temper the lows of the Kiwami remake (which is still a good game, don’t get me wrong) so that you can bounce back into the amazing engine update utilized for Kiwami 2. It’s just a good-ass game people.

1. Super Mario Odyssey

If you told me last year that this was going to be my number one game, I’d call you crazy. As someone who doesn’t easily fall in love with AAA games, preferring indie titles, the idea that Super Mario Odyssey would be such a must-play would have been completely dismissed. But no, over so many many other games I played this year, Super Mario Odyssey is the clear superior. SMO runs on high moments, everything has been so well planned out and the world is big without being overwhelming. This. This felt like the natural evolution of what Mario 64 was. And if you’ve been noting how much I’ve gushed over this year for the last month, then it should come to no surprise that it’s here at the top of my list. Everything was planned and perfected with such clear purpose it’s perplexing.

When this game came out alongside A Hat in Time, I felt that Hat would be superior because it controlled in a way that I wished Mario did. With mid-air dive cancels, a really really fun world to explore, a funny story with great characters. It was only this year, three years later, that I found that Odyssey not only did all that, it did it better. (Well, the writing of Hat is better, but...)

Anyways, if you are interested in a Switch, Odyssey is worth getting a Switch for. Though, admittedly, more if you’re the kind of person who adores adventurous open worlds in a collect-a-thon platform setting.

This is what AAA gaming should be. Anything else pales.

[ancientforgcd]

Valeria’s pen drifted across the page, her thoughts focused, as she began to write. “Ruby, you have a spirit that burns bright—a rare strength, both fierce and gentle. But I can’t help but notice there’s a part of you that’s always ready to give more than you receive.”

She paused, considering her words before continuing. “It’s almost like you’ve placed yourself on a constant edge, prepared to sacrifice for others without a second thought. There’s nobility in that, yes, but…do you ever wonder where that path might lead you, if you’re always the one making the sacrifice?”

A hint of warmth colored her smile as she added, “Perhaps, at times, the stronger choice is to let others stand by your side, not just as people you protect, but as those who can protect you, too. Selflessness has its beauty, but so does allowing yourself to be cherished.”

With a small sigh, Valeria finished the note, her eyes lingering on the paper. She wondered if Ruby would recognize the quiet truth woven into her words—that being there for others didn’t always mean giving up parts of oneself

(for the flaw meme!)

Point out a flaw of my muse and see their reaction!

Ruby crossed her arms with a smal grin, leaning back and looking at Valeria. "Look, I'm not out here tryin' to be some noble hero or whatever people think I am. I don't throw myself into fights for anyone's sake, but my own. When I'm fighting, like really fighting, it's like...I dunno, everything else just fades away, and it's just me against my limits. That's what I'm after, y'know? That rush, that feeling when you're right on the edge and pushing past what you thought you could do."

Another chuckle, a glint of excitement in her eyes. "People think I'm out there putting myself on the line for them, but honestly? It's just an extra, a byproduct if you wanna call it that. I fight because I love it. I fight because there's nothing else that makes me feel so alive. Getting stronger, seeing what I'm capable of, testing myself -- That's why I do it. The thrill, the challenge, the raw excitement of going up against someone or something stronger than me."

The Vacosian paused for a moment, thining for a bit. "If I happen to save a few people along the way, then yeah that's nice, but I don't think it's some big selfless act. I'm doing what I love and if others benefit, well good for them. Not like I'm tryna be their hero. I'm just being me."

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

sweet creature - a close reading + othello + brokeback mountain

hello here we are again, in the deep deep hole we can keep digging for ourselves in a desperate attempt to figure out all of harry’s lyrics. i’ve been at this for a bit now and it feels like i know nothing. and then there’s a shakespeare reference i should get into?????

well here it is. finally. i’m sorry to keep some of you waiting; know that i’m so honored people actually care about whatever i have to say on this??????????????? really. love you and thank you. 

read this if you want a:

lyric breakdown of sweet creature

short summary of shakespeare’s othello

deep reading into how those two could be connected

brokeback mountain connection

synthesis and interpretation, besides the othello connection

breakdown and plea bc this gay menace just does this to me

LET’S GO SHALL WE?!

hs1, track 5 (intro post)

lyric analysis

Sweet creature Had another talk about where it's going wrong

“sweet creature” is quote from Shakespeare play Othello ⟶ see analysis below

“another talk” - communication issues, common theme in h (and l)’s music

relationship issues 

(here the whole interpretation of the song being about gemma (h’s sister) already falls through for me, bc you don’t experience these things with a sibling. where is it going wrong? w a sibling? you just punch each other in the arm, then give a good hug and move on, done.)

But we’re still young

“we” as the prominent pronoun in this song. “we” is a unit

“young” as a theme: “still” - met very young, fell in love young, are still young

～ tbsl “i was just a little boy”, ～ too young, ～ we made it “when we’re so young”

We don’t know where we’re going But we know where we belong

～ dlibyh “driving down a one way road to something better”

～ don’t forget where you belong - “home”

And, oh, we started Two hearts in one home

where some more of the gemma theory finds ground, apparently - but “two hearts in one home” would leave out their mother, which wouldn’t make sense if it were a song about h’s family, since he was always very close to his mom? it’s not like it was he and his sister against the world

“started” “two hearts in one home” - moved in early on - fits the h&l narrative ofc #theylivetogetherdealwithit

It’s hard when we argue We’re both stubborn, I know But oh

lovingly admitted

h loves him despite the difficulties, despite character clashes - “i know”, familiarity

h admits that he’s just as difficult

“both stubborn” - even found a similarity among the struggle

Sweet creature, sweet creature Wherever I go, you bring me home Sweet creature, sweet creature When I run out of road, you bring me home

home isn’t a place, it’s wherever this person is - he can talk him down, make him feel safe, whenever and wherever

“i go” - harry’s out on his own now, going after his solo dreams - but he’ll always come back home

“road” - maybe it’s my larrie brain corrupting me once again, but i can’t be the only one who always thought it was “rope” until i looked at the lyrics properly? anyway, when h runs out of road, doesn’t know which path to take, if it’s left or right, “you” shows him the way. yk maybe like a compass

Sweet creature Running through the garden

scene in Othello where “sweet creature” is said is set in a garden

+ motif of gardens/plants in Othello used as metaphors, esp. by Iago (see later, this is important)

gardens in literature: peaceful, secret, intimate, private world, place of youth - garden of eden, secret garden

Oh, where nothing bothered us But we’re still young I always think about you and how we don’t speak enough

“bothered” - their reality is now that people bother them all the time - in the early days the had more chances to be carefree

communicate, boys (think they’ve worked past this but it’s a good reminder)

Sweet creature, sweet creature Wherever I go, you bring me home Sweet creature, sweet creature When I run out of road, you bring me home You’ll bring me home

unique future tense right at the end of the song: you currently bring me home and you always will. faith in the future. despite their struggles they’ll always make it

OTHELLO, SHAKESPEARE 

Othello has many twists and turns in intrigue, all including the classic human weaknesses of jealousy, deceit, selfishness, wrath, mistrust and miscommunication. The storyline centres around Othello, a general of the Venetian army, originally from the north of Africa. (An integral part of the play is the subject of his skin tone, as it causes racism with those opposing his marriage, but this has little to do with this post, so if you want to grasp a bit more of the storyline, you can always google it or watch this very enlightening video.) 

(Lemme give a summary real quick, with very blurry details just so the post makes sense)

STORYLINE:

Othello gives Cassio (army person close to Othello) raise 

-> Iago (army person close to Othello) angry 

-> Iago gets Cassio drunk and starts a fight 

-> another dude gets injured, Cassio is blamed for everything 

-> Othello strips him of his rank 

-> Iago convinces Cassio to get close to Desdemona (Othello's wife) to get his rank back 

-> Iago sows doubt with Othello about how close Desdemona and Cassio are getting 

-> Iago convinces Othello of Desdemona’s infidelity 

-> Othello makes Iago his lieutenant, convinced he’s the only one to be trustworthy 

-> Iago plays a trick (w a handkerchief, look it up if you want) and Othello now thinks Desdemona’s cheating has been physically proven 

-> Othello swears to kill D and tells I to kill Cassio 

-> Iago convinces other guy to kill Cassio instead 

-> plot to kill Cassio fails and Iago has to kill the other guy to keep the scheme quiet, leaving him and Cassio injured 

-> Iago blames it all on a courtesan Cassio was involved with 

-> Othello murders Desdemona 

-> Emilia (Iago’s wife) sees all and realises Iago was the manipulator of it all (bc she figures out the trick from earlier) 

-> Iago kills her 

-> Othello kills himself

Long story short, Iago and Cassio both want (to be close to) Othello. Either for personal gain or due to emotional desires, they’re going pretty far to earn this man’s attention and affection. Since Othello is married to Desdemona, she is the centre of Iago and Cassio’s plans to get closer to Othello. Cassio wants to get close to Desdemona to get her to mediate between him and Othello, while Iago will convince Othello that Desdemona has been unfaithful and thus drive them apart so Iago can take on the role closest to Othello. A popular interpretation of Othello is to especially see Iago’s character as one driven by jealousy caused by homosexual desires.

The reading of Iago as a homosexual, as well as general gay tension between all three main men, is encouraged, as usual, by Shakespeare’s ambiguous writing. To give some examples (all Act III - Scene III)

(Of course, “love” between these “friends” can be interpreted as platonic, nothing romantic at all. But the layers of ambivalence that Shakespeare deliberately left us aren’t to be ignored just bc the word “love” doesn’t necessarily have a romantic connotation.)

Othello @ Iago (in the middle of Iago deceiving O to make him believe Cassio and Desdemona are involved)

Iago’s words here can be interpreted as “you don’t want to know my thoughts bc i am currently deceiving you” or “you don’t wanna know what’s on my mind bc i want your dick and unconditional love and i also want it to be all mine, babe. no sharing”

“my nature’s plague” def sounds like he’s not a fan of his natural urges.

had to add this one

here iago says he doesn’t blame desdemona for falling in love with othello, since it’s happened to him too. othello’s reply sounds like a wedding vow

Basically, during this entire scene, Iago goes on to sow doubt with Othello, while constantly reminding him of his love. Then Othello asks for cold hard proof that Cassio and Desdemona are involved and Iago tells the story of how he heard Cassio talk in his sleep. 

SO all these were details necessary to understand the so-called “sex dream” in Othello, which coincidentally happens to contain the nice little word group we’re trying to get to the bottom of:

“sweet creature”

ofc that little stage hoe menace would choose the fucking double-entenred sexually charged scene to grab inspiration from for a cute lil love song

I’ll place it here for you to read first:

So basically, Iago tells Othello Cassio's had a loud dream about embracing Desdemona, while actually physically embracing Iago and calling him “sweet creature”. It’s very important to remember at this point that these are all made-up stories by Iago, so he has created this fantasy on his own. The ambiguity of “to lay with” is pleasantly planted there as well, just to make it all a bit more spicy. Iago is blatantly telling Othello that Cassio was kissing and grinding on him in his sleep. Or, you know, that Iago’s imagined that happening. The words “sweet creature” are supposedly uttered by Cassio to Desdemona in his dream, yet it’s Iago who has thought of them, as if Cassio had uttered them to him. All super nice and gay, if you ask me. And why tell this to Othello? Why add those details? Wanna make Othello jealous of you and Cassio, mate? What’s up? Don't be shy, you can tell us. Without causing the deaths of everyone close to you.

The scene ends with these words:

Another interesting detail I can’t fail to mention is Iago’s tendency to use gardens and plants as metaphors in his speech. Like in the dream story, where he describes kisses to be growing from his lips, rooted there, which Cassio is trying to pull out. Some especially memorable quotes by Iago: 

“Our bodies are our gardens, to which our wills are gardeners; so that if we will plant nettles or sow lettuce, set hyssop and weed up thyme . . . the power and corrigible authority of this lies in our wills” (I.iii.317–322). 

“Though other things grow fair against the sun, / Yet fruits that blossom first will first be ripe” (II.iii.349–350)

Iago, as pointed out above, is very in touch with nature and how humans are always part of that, whether they like it or not. In some ways he seems to say you can manipulate nature by sheer force of will, yet in others he seems to think his nature is something he can only follow, like with what he says about “his nature’s plague” in Act III. 

So yeah, that’s basically what you need to know about Othello to get the Sweet Creature link. I'll get into what this might mean from Harry’s point of view below.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

You might be wondering in what fucking hole have i fallen it's too deep i wanna get out but well bestie you're in this fandom and that's how shit goes around here so you can't be surprised. This one's all the one and only @bluewinnerangel 's work, since she's the one who brought this to my attention, once again, as so many things. Genius at work over there, go give her a follow if you're not already. Anyhow, it's time you've listened to this song in the Brokeback Mountain soundtrack: 'Snow'.

As most of you might know, Brokeback Mountain, is a famous gay cowboy movie. For this reason, and this reason only, the audio parallel to Sweet Creature is an immaculate choice. Sneaky gay asshole Harry Fucking Styles has managed to blatantly copy a melody from this cult movie about a secret gay love. Are you kidding me?

The movie is set in the 60s in the US and homophobia is a huge part of the plot, causing the men to keep their homosexuality a secret in fear of not getting jobs or even getting killed. Their love is very physical and very real, though, so throughout their entire life they struggle trying to live hidden/apart. There's also the famous line "I wish I knew how to quit you" that sounds a whole lot like the love is a drug and i'm addicted to you thing h & l got going on.

(And if you don't really buy this little run, listen to 'The Wings' from the same soundtrack and then to From the Dining Table. It's like a fan piece, just a lil faster.)

SYNTHESIS

ALRIGHT. 

Might seem a lot of Shakespeare for just a simple lyric analysis post, but I needed it to tie it all in even if it was just for me to know and so I assumed you’d love to be involved in this mess as well. 

First of all, 

I interpret the main parallel with Othello as Harry painting himself, once again, as a jealous lover. He’s literally sung about himself as “being of the jealous kind” and it’s no secret at all that if someone gets their hands on his lover there is some lethal switch that turns on. Don’t get me wrong - I don’t think Harry would start murderous plots in order to secure his lover’s affections, but I’m very sure Harry recognises the desire to be the sole recipient of said affections, without the distractions of others who have their eyes on his lover. Whether or not Othello is happy in his marriage to a woman, it’s still a theme in the play, and if we interpret Iago’s motives through the lens of jealousy, we can easily draw the parallel to Harry’s life. H loves someone who is “taken”, or at least “officially”. Iago is full of self-deprecation, which hs1 is riddled with as well. Self-hate, lack of self-acceptance, and even if there is self-acceptance, it’s mixed with that hate. Iago’s repressed sexuality, when interpreted that way, has driven him to such extreme actions that he’d rather see the one he loves and everyone around him destroyed than settling to witness his lover spending his life with another. A pretty intense figure to identify yourself with, but there are more than enough clues in Harry’s other lyrics that show this side of him: unforgiving towards those who mess with his lover, making him drown in that jealousy. 

Iago’s character in the play is a cunning, complicated one, but especially deceitful and cruel (esp to women), so I don’t think Harry would want a connection to be drawn between a murderous theatre character and this kind, warm love song. I’d think, if there even if this deep connection to Othello in the first place (there’s things we’ll never know) (but it’s a beautiful connection to make, with all the parallels), the side of Iago’s personality that honors nature and connects the human body to nature is something that should be especially highlighted. It’s this human nature that can’t be twisted or turned, no matter how you try to fight it. It’s parts of yourself that you can help grow and make better, or even purposefully make worse. It’s the body as a garden, where the line “running through the garden” then becomes nice and interesting in a very Harry way. yk like smiling sweetly at you while making a sex joke. “Where nothing bothered us” then ties in again with the common theme in H (and L)’s music where the bedroom is sacred, where they’re properly connected and finally in private and lose control or whatever.

Whatever the Othello interpretation may be, the words "sweet creature" are famously from this play, and it's not a common phrase in general, so my belief in the title of the song, at least, being a reference to those words spoken in the play, stands very strong. It is a known "gay Shakespeare thing", as it's a scene with two men sharing a bed, when it all comes down to it. And Harry referenced this, and it's important as fuck.

Second of all, 

this song is the beacon of hope on hs1, in between all the desperately sad songs that deal with break-ups, depression, loneliness. I fucking love hs1, but I can’t listen to it like Fine Line, bc it really fills me with a sadness about life, which is the exact opposite with FL for me. And that’s all perfectly fine, since Harry needed to get that off his chest and he’s also an emotional sad lil gay and we need to let him have his dramatic emo moments. BUT Sweet Creature, my saviour, screams hope and the absolute faith that they stand strong and always will. It’s a soft love song, with the kind of sentiments filling every line that only an established love can. They’ve known each other for ages, been through a lot, and despite everything, they’re each other’s home and that will never change. It’s how it started and how it’ll end. In my readings of songs like Meet Me in the Hallway, i also saw that same faith, that firm belief that they’ll always share this life. And we need that yk. They need that, and we live vicariously through them, so it’s a good thing it’s sorted. And if you’re still on the fence on the whole are-they-together bit: look.

Home is at the centre of Harry’s art. It’s a common thread across his two albums now, as well as the songs he wrote in the band. Same goes for Louis. At some point they established this strong feeling of home as the other person. They were always on the road, and if they were on the road, they had each other as an anchor, and if they were home, they also shared that space. And they turned it into a religion, almost. The most obvious song to point to is Home, of course, written by Louis (among others, but most importantly him ofc), but there’s many others.

～ change your ticket “change your ticket home”, ～ if i could fly "i'd be coming right back home to you", ～ tbsl “it’s hard for me to go home and be so lonely”, ～ canyon moon “two weeks and i’ll be home”/ “i’m going home” or yk read this post by @bluewinnerangel​ bc she has summed it up perfectly

There,

that really is all I needed to get off my chest in terms of Sweet Creature. I'm sure there are more and deeper holes to dig, but this is where my brain space pulls to a halt. Who knows, maybe that garden shit is way more than it seems? Maybe the whole Othello thing is a total waste of time and Harry is laughing in his fist rn. But I'd like to think it's not, and that this person who is becoming more and more entrenched in queer culture and the community at large purposefully referenced this work of art that has been famously interpreted through a gay lens long before Harry was even born. That he imitated a melody from a famous gay movie and wove that into the main love song on his debut album.

He knows so much about queer history and culture and references it all the fucking time, and it's up to us to pay attention. This force of nature isn't just wandering through his solo career slapping sounds together with words that could make a hit and climb the charts. He is actively placing his work in the library of queer art and it has to be honored and celebrated.

[strwberri-milk]

Passing Hands: Chapter 10 - Your Hand in Mine

Bridgerton!AU || Diluc x Fem!Reader || Drama, Falling in Love, Slow Burn || 3 070 words

a/n - i fully didnt know working woman was a euphamism for prostitute not my friends/coworkers correcting me when i called myself that

The night of the ball cannot arrive fast enough and you find yourself in awe of the lovely dress that adorns your body. The dark fabric perfectly contrasts your skin and your hair was done up perfectly, framing your face and resting atop your head like a crown. You know that the others see it too, hopeful suitors giving you more than just a once over and offering you a polite smile when you nod at them. It is all very unlike your first arrival and it all clicks for you, why everybody loves attending these events, the thrill that comes in and commanding all of the attention. 

You look around, trying to see if you can find Lady Kholer and alert her of your presence but it seems she has not yet arrived so you begin to mingle as much as you can, collecting names for your dance card happily. Soon enough, the man you wanted to see finds himself in front of you, bowing and gesturing to your dance card. 

“I see you’ve been very busy haven’t you? Your card almost seems full,” he notes. 

“Your Grace! I hope you’ve been doing well, and yes, it is nearing full but I have reserved a slot for you. Would you like to take it?” you reply, showing him the blank space in question. 

“How thoughtful of you. I think I would like to take it if you’d be so kind as to give it to me.” 

Quickly, you write down his name and show it to him. 

“There you are. Now we shall be dancing a little later into the evening after things have settled a bit and everybody has arrived. There is a great number of people here already, isn’t there?” you say, trying to make small talk. 

“Yes, there is a great number. I honestly cannot fathom how so many people can gather together all at once and truly have nothing to say. All you hear are mild pleasantries and attempts to make transactional relationships. If you ask me, small talk is the bane of intelligent society. What does it matter if the weather is nice?” he grumbles, seeming almost personally slighted by the fact that sometimes, people like to talk about nothing. 

“That’s a very strong opinion you have there, Your Grace. Tell me, is there a particular reason as to why you feel so strongly? Surely small talk has done nothing to harm you directly has it?” you tease, making him huff and cross his arms. 

“I feel it to be a waste of time. What do you gain from navigating conversations from nothing that you know are going somewhere more important, or to a request they wish for you to fulfil? If you want something I think you may as well just come out and ask me to my face. I’d be much less insulted than if I were to find out you were feigning camaraderie for my money.” 

“Then I suppose that it’s a good thing my intentions have been clear from the start, isn’t it?” you reply, looking up at his slightly flustered expression. 

“What do you mean by that?” 

“I mean what I said. I believe that I’ve made my intentions to court you very clear. Of course that is if you are wanting to allow our relationship to progress in such a direction.” The words roll off your tongue easily, not giving a hint to the fact that you felt like you were going to combust at the very provocative declaration. 

“Huh. I suppose you are correct in that assertion,” is all he says, nodding in agreement. 

“Very true of you. With you there seems to be no guessing, no trying to unravel some secret agenda and I hope to keep it that way for both our sakes. Perhaps you could restate your intentions to me right now. Tell me,” he steps a little closer to you, eyes narrowing as he challenges you to subvert the presentation of yourself you’ve given him. Your mouth runs dry but soon enough you get your voice back, clearing your throat. 

“I simply wish to get to know you more. Perhaps we will find ourselves as close friends, a couple who married for your convenience, or the dearly coveted love match. Whatever this end of ours is, I just want to be able to go home and tell myself that I did my best to make you care for me,” you say confidently, hoping that it was the right answer. 

“And what of my Dukedom? Do you wish to be burdened with the social obligations of a Duchess, or are you just enamoured by the idea of having more money than you know what to do with?” he challenges. 

“To be quite honest with you I have no idea what it means to be Duchess. If it were to come to that, I would most likely have to learn how to do so effectively but I am more than willing to put the effort in when needed. After all, I do take care of myself already Your Grace so it is not as though I am averse to hard work. Whatever needs to be done will be done and you can believe that,” you reassure. He backs down a little bit, playing with the cuff of his coat. 

“Impressive. While all the others I talk to say the same things I find it quite difficult to believe them. You are quite confident in your own abilities and that is a good trait to have. I quite like it,” he praises, making you scream internally in joy. 

“I’m glad you think so, Your Grace. If you so despise small talk then I would not mind having you keep me company or you using me as a scapegoat to get out of such detested situations. Look there, it seems someone wants to come and have that awful conversation with you right now,” you laugh, pointing at a man who is heading towards the two of you.

“Your Grace, might I have a word?” he asks once he approaches, confirming both of your suspicions. 

“Why of course,” the Duke smiles, fully transitioning into the picture of a much more amicable man. 

You wave him off and begin to head to the floor, wondering who will try to grab you for a dance first. As you approach you feel a tap on your shoulder. 

“Hello! I’m just making my rounds and greeting everybody. I would have come earlier but you were much too busy talking to the Duke! I’m glad you could make it,” your host beams, curtsying politely.  

“Oh! Lady Kholer! Thank you for the invitation. Lord Alberich.” 

You greet the two of them and they return it to you, looking around a little. 

“Have you found someone to dance with yet?” the Lady asks you, looking up at the Lord. 

“I’m sure Lord Alberich wouldn’t mind dancing with you if not.” 

“No, actually I have a full dance card now!” You show her and she gives you a pleased smile. 

“I’m glad! It looks that the rough first couple of days you had has finally come to pass. That’s amazing. And you managed to get the Duke on your card too? How lucky!” 

“Well, he did say that he was going to pursue only one person this season,” Lord Alberich adds. 

“Did he really? A part of me thought he might just be saying it to say it and to flatter me further,” you chuckle, looking at him hopefully to which he nods. 

“Diluc doesn’t lie. If he says that he’s going to do something then he’ll do it no matter how hard he has to work for it. So you can take all of his words at face value. There is rarely a further agenda with him,” he continues, grinning. 

“And here he is. That was a quick discussion with the Baron. What did he want, brother?” 

“What he always has,” the Duke grumbles, offering his arm to you which you take gratefully.

“I believe he has run into trouble with his gambling again. Because of how generous Father was with the man, he believed that I would be willing to bail him out. Having to watch my money go to fund someone’s bad habits before caring for their household would enrage me. I suppose I should find some way to give them a bit of money to be held in trust for his wife who actually cares about their home.” 

“And there he is. The kind, caring Duke who actually minds the requests people give him by hiding it under a facade of being unable to care,” Lord Alberich chuckles, gently pulling his Lady towards the dancefloor. 

“Seeing as we are all here, why don’t we head up to dance? The next set should be starting up soon. Are you feeling up to it, My Lady?” She nods and turns to you and the Duke. 

“Do join us. It’ll be more fun that way. What do you say?” 

“If Miss [Name] has no objections then I believe I shall also have none. It would be my honour to dance alongside the host of this lavish ball, Lady Kholer. Alongside your partner however, now that is a different issue entirely.” 

All three of them laugh slightly, their ease making you wonder if you would one day find yourself in this seemingly strong friendship. When you nod the Duke takes you to the floor, following closely after his brother. 

“Is that Baron truly in such a dire position, Your Grace?” you ask once the dancing begins. 

“It is not dire right now but it soon will be if he refuses to change his ways. I suppose that because he has some dealings with my business I could find it helpful to remind him through lessening the amount of shipments he is allowed to buy and sell from me. Perhaps that will remind him that I am watching. His family are really upstanding citizens. He is the only one I find fault with.” 

“I see. That sounds like a very difficult situation to remedy indeed. If you don’t mind my asking, could you tell me if you’ve ever paid off his debts before?” you ask, trying to keep your tone conversational and not accusational. 

“I had to once, in secret. His sons were at risk of being kicked out of their school and I could not let that happen under my watch. I found his debtors and paid them off with the stipulation that they would no longer bother the family. Regardless, I think he believes that to be the work of God and now thinks himself untouchable, up to the point where he is boldly asking me for money,” he complains, an apologetic look making it onto his face. 

“I’m sorry. I’ve been told I take work with me everywhere I go. You should be allowed to join the festivities of this night with a clear head, not worrying about my issues.” 

“No, I find it quite fascinating really. I am partial to offering my advice when I can and I’m sure that if you give me a minute I’ll be able to give you some sort of idea of what I would do in your position. It may be quite simplistic but perhaps it will give you a new perspective?” you say shyly, not wanting to overstep a boundary. 

“To be honest I think I’d appreciate that. You’ve presented yourself as a woman with a clear mind. I’ll be grateful for any opinion that differs from mine for I fear my head is just echoing my own sentiments to such a point that I no longer hear any other thoughts.” 

His Grace gives you the room to think, making sure you don’t lose your step with each movement as you consider the options. Of course it’s a difficult situation but you also would like to be sure that the family will not suffer the consequences of their father. 

“You mentioned he has sons, correct? Would it be possible for you to gift them an amount of money to pay for the debts and also household expenses? If some of them are old enough perhaps they can also begin working to make their own money to further care for themselves without needing their father’s money,” you suggest after a while, watching as he mulls it over. 

“They are of age and have been for some time. I believe they do work but the eldest son seems to have aspirations to want to do more. A position has opened up with the winery in the area. Perhaps I could send Elzer down to appraise and see if he can offer the position to the eldest. That follows through with the latter part of your idea.” 

“So it’s a good idea?” you ask excitedly, His Grace giving you a warm smile. 

“It does sound feasible. But, how should I give them the money to avoid their Father taking advantage of it?” The question is clearly meant to challenge you a bit, see what you’d do with the situation. 

“Would it not be safest to put it in a trust with several stipulations and harsh punishments they cannot even risk for the sons? If you’d like it to be even stricter you could split the money that you plan to gift them amongst the sons and further, not allow the sons to touch each other’s money. Essentially, you’d be giving them money in the same way a father might spare a couple shillings to let his son buy a treat while he watches him buy said treat. That way, you legally govern how the money is spent while not having to physically manage each transaction.” 

“What an elegant solution,” he praises, twirling you around. 

“That was exactly what I was thinking I could do. To be blunt, I was unaware you would be so quick to come up with such a solution without having dealt with similar manners before. Unless you happen to be some sort of undercover broker,” he jests, making you laugh. 

“No, not a broker. I just tried to think of the best solution for the two of you. Of course you don’t want to just sit there and supervise the man and everything he does, but you also do not want the money to be wasted. It’s quite kind of you to be so concerned for their well being.” 

The compliment is genuine and you look up at him, seeing that he is now averting your gaze. Before, you felt as though the gap between the two of you was too difficult to bridge but something compels you to begin bridging the gap right now. 

“Your Grace, have I flustered you?” you tease, his wide eyes making it clear he didn’t expect that from you at all. 

“Not at all,” he tries to deflect, continuing to avoid your eyes. “I simply have something in my eyes.” 

“I had no idea that having something in your eye made one become shyer. Is that what happens to you?” you continue, feeling the way his hands and arms tighten against your body. 

“And to what do I owe this sudden rush of boldness from you?” he mutters, trying to ground himself as best he can in the face of your full frontal attack. 

“Well, you had me restate my intentions so does it not follow suit that I will begin to try and court you in earnest? You do not have to worry about me using underhanded tactics. As I said before, you will have the honour of falling in love with me for who I am, not who I am not. Does that sound agreeable, Your Grace?” you say insistently. 

“Your tone makes it sound as though you intend to continue teasing me,” he muses, deciding to return the favour by pulling you just a little bit closer to his body. 

“Perhaps you think me incapable of dealing with such flustering words but I assure you that was just a fluke. I do look forward to seeing what efforts you think will be necessary to capture my intentions. I am not an easy man by any means and will not be swayed with trivial manners, even if it is from a Diamond that the Queen chose herself.” 

His voice is low in his throat and he leans in close to speak to you, breath dancing against your ear and neck. You find yourself caught between the heavy weight of his chest and arms, suddenly recognising that for this set, the dancers would be finding themselves much nearer to each other than the typical routines. There was no escaping him short of mortifying the both of you by running off the dance floor and you swallow thickly, the reaction not missing the redhead’s sharp eye. 

“Are you telling me that you’re already giving up?” he whispers, the same teasing tone you’ve heard from his brother coming into his voice. He must have learned it from the other man. 

“I never said I was giving up,” you barely manage to sputter, his breathing disrupting your mind as it puffs gently against your collar.

“Then where is all that gall you had earlier? Are you telling me that simply being in my presence is beginning to prove too overwhelming to you?’ 

You’re about to respond when you feel his warmth disappear, the dance continuing now at a much more respectable distance. He gives you an innocent smile, charming and well-mannered and if it weren’t for the fact that you were just subjected to his efforts you never would have believed that what just happened did indeed happen. 

“Well? I asked you a question,” he prompts, dipping your body and bringing you back up to him. 

“You are absolutely playing dirty, Your Grace,” you whisper indignantly, hands holding onto his for dear life. 

“I am simply behaving the way a gentleman should. I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says innocuously, as though he wasn’t about to make you melt into a puddle at his feet. 

“You are going to be the death of me,” you mutter under your breath, returning to focus on the dancing and conversation filled with laughter and kind words between the two of you.  

[buckyownsmylife]

Just One - John Winchester smut

The one where John has been obsessed with killing you but now that he found you...

Warnings: smut, as close to hatefucking as I can write, witch!reader, masturbation (f), oral (m, f), dirty talk, degradation laced with praise?, hairpulling kink, namecalling (bitch, whore), John wants it to hurt, slight size kink (blink and you’ll miss), p in v, spanking, biting, unprotected sex, cumplay, unspecified age gap

Word count: 2.2k

A/N:  This one is a part of my kinktober celebrations. My original intention for this October was to work exclusively around prompts that my wonderful friend @darkficsyouneveraskedfor created for her challenge and dedicate each story to a different friend. My new plan became then 31 days of different kinks, which expanded on a poly relationship with Stucky, as you might know by now. However, some of the stories I started were already truly loved by me, and so I kept on writing them. It worked well because as it turns out, I am fortunate enough to have more than 31 friends on Tumblr, so here is the story I wrote for @negans-attagirl​. This most likely celebrates my last time writing for John! Special thanks to my @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ for reading this even though she’s not really into Supernatural! I love you for it!

I knew he was there. Watching. I’d been running away from him for so long, it felt like second nature now - to look over my shoulder, hold my breath when a stranger got too close. Watch the shadows and see if they took the form of a well-built man who wanted nothing more than to see me dead.

But I didn’t just wait around for my inevitable ending, oh no. I’d studied him just as much as he did to me, prepared myself for what was to come as I fled the state and traveled borders in the hopes of throwing him off. I concocted potions and spells and thought about everything I could do to him whenever he found me again.

Most of all, I thought of him. How could I not? Not only was he my main concern in this life, but the man was just walking sin. And if I were to go down, I was determined to at least go down on him before he killed me.

So I slowly left the diner across from the motel I’d been hiding in for the last three weeks and returned to my room, making sure to leave the door unlocked while I took off my clothes. The sound of the door closing behind me wasn’t unmistakable, and we both knew that. “Feel like joining me?” I asked as I sat down on the bed and spread my legs for his eyes, my hand traveling down my body, playing with my nipples before settling between my thighs. He didn’t look confused, not even for a moment.

This sexual tension between us, it’d never been one-sided. It was there from the beginning, electrifying our interactions as desire swirled in the air around us. I was convinced it was the main reason why he couldn’t just let me go.

He leaned his head to the side, but didn’t say anything. He was too focused on what I was doing, the way my fingers rubbed my clit before dipping inside my hole only to come back up wetter, the sounds of my actions filling the air around us.

“I don’t see why not.” The words sent a thrill up my spine, and without even stopping to consider what I was doing, I dropped to my knees before him, reaching out for his jeans. “Can’t let you get off all by yourself.”

I hummed appreciatively as I stuck out my tongue to lick the red head of his cock, already intoxicated with his taste. “Such a gentleman… even when you’re planning to kill me.” His chuckle was like thunder, reverberating through me and making my clit throb as I wrapped my lips around his member.

“It would be a waste if I didn’t put this pretty mouth to work.” His thumb brushed against my lower lip until I licked it and enveloped it with my mouth, making him groan. “So fucking warm. I’m gonna enjoy filling this hole with my cock.”

His words had me clenching around nothing, the overwhelming wetness that dripped from me now slathering the inside of my thighs, no doubt reaching the floor. It made me desperate to please him, desperate to fill my mouth with his cock.

So I wrapped my lips around the head of his member and began sucking, at first looking up to see his darkened, lust-filled eyes before actually closing mine to fully appreciate his taste, the weight of him on my tongue.

I licked every single inch of his skin until my saliva coated his member. It was a beautiful cock, a cock that deserved to be worshiped. I wasn’t one to enjoy being on my knees too much, but his thickness was just too tempting. I needed to pay it the proper respects.

So I took him as well as I could, ignoring the way tears rose to my eyes as I willingly choked myself on his cock, trying my best to breathe through my nose in an effort to reach his navel.

I wasn’t able to. But he didn’t seem to mind, hand wrapped around my hair, forcing my movements as I slobbered all over his dick. “Such a good little cocksucker…” he absentmindedly commented, almost to himself.

“Were you expecting me?” I looked up to see him looking down at me, actually waiting for an answer. So I pulled away, wiped the spit from my jaw before replying honestly, “Always.”

Because, well… How could I sleep peacefully without thinking about the man who wanted to kill me?

But his answer was a chuckle and an almost condescending head pat, his deep warm voice making me even wetter when he complimented, “Good girl.” God, he could kill me right now. I’d go willingly and happily.

I eagerly sucked him off a bit longer, losing myself in the almost-sounds that I could pick up from his body: the little groans and pants, the way he cleared his throat instead of growling his desire for me. He wouldn’t give in, wouldn’t show his satisfaction to a little witch.

I could live with that.

“Stop that.” His words were accompanied by a harsh tug on my hair, pulling me up until I was standing on my tip toes, my face mere inches from his. “Wanna fuck you now. I can kill you tomorrow.”

The fact that he never kissed me didn’t escape me. This was a quick fuck, it would not be mistaken as anything else. Still, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t drag as much fun out of it as I possibly could… especially considering these might very well be my last hours of living.

“So you want me?” I questioned, smirking at his answering huff. He didn’t want to admit it, of course - that would be recognizing I had some sort of power over him. So he opted to tighten his grip on my hair until I moaned from the pleasurable pain, eyes sparkling in their darkness as he took in just how desperate I was for him.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” he settled for saying as I laughed. “Always a fucking tease. Is your cunt as bitter as your soul, brat?” I bit my lip as he threw me on the bed, already anticipating his next move.

“Find out for yourself.” His expression made it clear that he was doubtful when he tore off my underwear and threw the scraps of it over his shoulder, pulling me to the edge of the bed by my ankles without much care.

He pressed on the inside of my thighs to keep my legs spread for him, and when his tongue licked a line up my cunt, I clenched around nothing, eyes closing for just a second to relish in the barely-there sensation.

“Oh, fuck…” His voice was barely over a whisper, but I still heard it and when I opened my eyes to look at him, he was staring directly at his meal, like he couldn’t believe what he had just tasted. “So fucking sweet…”

He went back there with a newfound hunger, and although I knew he wasn’t doing this to make me cum, I also knew he would achieve that - easily. It didn’t take many of his long swipes over my hole, the twirls around my clit to make me gasp for him, hands flying down to pull on his hair.

I think the only reason he didn’t slap them away was because he seemed to like the slight sting I provided him.

“Fucking cum, bitch,” he growled at some point, surprising me until he revealed why it was that he wanted me to orgasm. “I want to drink all of your essence before I shove my cock into you, make sure it’ll really sting.”

But I knew it was more than that - I knew he wanted more of my taste. It was everywhere now, dripping from his beard, smearing the inside of my thighs, but he kept his eyes focused on me, waiting for my breaking point.

I saw embers of flames when it arrived. Maybe it predicted my death at the stake, but I couldn’t mind it. Not when John was rising to his full height and very easily turning me around to lay on my stomach, keeping my legs dangling off the edge of the bed when he kicked them apart.

I was trapped under his much larger body and I didn’t mind it at all. He shoved my face against the bed, like he didn’t want to see it as he slowly started to stretch me out.

I bit my lower lip as I struggled to adjust around his thickness, and by the sounds John was releasing, I could see he was just as overwhelmed by me and the pussy he wanted to destroy.

I couldn’t believe how good it felt to be ravished by John Winchester. No one had ever fucked me like this before, and I was sure he knew, with the melodic moans that kept slipping from my lips, try as I might to reel them in.

“Those fucking sounds…” He groaned behind me, seconds before his hand landed harshly on the right cheek of my ass, making me whine even louder. “You’re a filthy little whore, aren’t you?”

I was too far gone to even try to deny it, fucking myself back against his delicious thick cock, desperate to cum again, this time feeling completely full of him.

“Who would have thought…” He panted, hips maintaining their onslaught against me. “Nasty fucking witch, such a tight little pussy.” Each word was accompanied by a particularly brutal thrust and I relished in it. I relished in witnessing the great John Winchester get carried away because of my body.

“Fuck,” he cursed after he managed to locate my sweet spot, which in turn had me instinctively clenching around him. “Why do you feel so fucking good?”

Under him, I just giggled, my hand easily locating the spot above where we were connected so I could rub myself to an orgasm. “I’m convinced you’re the devil, little witch.”

Stifling a laugh, I started to move my hips back so I could fuck myself on him, showing him how I liked to be treated - even harder and rougher than he was already treating me. And because I really was a brat, I couldn’t help but taunt, “Do you feel sorry you have to destroy it?”

I knew he understood I was referring to my pussy, and when his hand slapped mine away so he could take over the motions over my clit, I closed my eyes to let bliss take me.

“Almost,” he grunted, a confession I almost lost in the fog of my high. But here lied an opportunity, and I wasn’t about to let it slip away without a fight.

“I mean… you could just keep it,” I offered, barely over a whisper so as not to anger the man who kept fucking me. I didn’t want him to stop his movements, so I hoped even if he did get pissed at my suggestion, he’d just take it out on me. “Use it whenever you want.”

I didn’t get a response from him - at least, not verbally. But he did speed up his movements, pounding me so hard the bed started to hit the wall and I knew we were seconds away from having the neighbors banging on it, telling us to keep it down, but I couldn’t care less.

Not when John was burying his face in the crook of my neck, beard tickling me as he bit on my shoulder to keep his roar from reverberating in the room when he shot his cum deep inside of me.

He didn’t wait even a second before pulling out. I missed his weight on top of me, but the feeling of his cum slowly slipping from my used pussy was enough to give me some comfort.

“Shit, I really opened you up, huh?” He chuckled, rubbing his cream around my hole before pushing it back into me, making me whine. “I’m still fucking hard. Did you put a spell on me, brat?”

I laughed as he massaged my ass, apparently incapable of fully retreating his touch from my skin. “Is that why I’m still aroused?” He insisted, rutting his very much, still hard member against my thigh. “Tell me.”

Stretching, I giggled at his silly accusation. “I think I just turn you on, old man,” I teased, wiggling my ass at him. He took the bait and spanked it, before I felt his weight leave the bed altogether.

“Well, I’m going to take a shower, wash you off of me,” he explained, stopping at the door of the bathroom to stare at me. “You better be there when I come out,” he warned and I bit my lip, understanding exactly what he meant.

“I don’t think I can walk if I tried,” I giggled, but he just tipped his head back, humming noncommittally. Before long, I heard the shower turning on, the sound of the water running down the drain almost lulling me to sleep.

I made sure to leave my panties right next to the note I wrote for him to find when he got out of the shower. Three simple words, a promise: “Until next time”.

[paellaplease]

Hi, I see you're taking requests! If it hasn't been done yet, could you do aspectabund with Revali please? I love your writing <3

2. aspectabund - letting emotion show easily through the face or eyes

pairing: revali x reader

summary:  he knows you’ve been avoiding him and he can’t seem to figure out why.

  Shaking the snow from his feathers, Revali surveyed the layered red rock of Mount Agaat with a scrutinizing gleam in his eyes. The reconnaissance flyby over the ice covered peaks had proven successful, with him safely scouting out several bokoblin camps under the cover of cloud. 

Mindful of the tripwire, he entered the makeshift campsite to find you and the Gerudo Chief conversing quietly by the fire. You appeared in deep contemplation, and out of respect (and perhaps partial curiosity) he made no move to announce his arrival. 

Urbosa crossed her arms, turning to you with a sly smile adorning her lip. “You can’t keep dancing around each other forever.” 

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, fiddling with one of your winter gloves. “It’s highly likely he won’t understand anyway.” 

“I’m sure his feelings on the matter are not as dissimilar as you think. Besides...” She leaned forward, whispering something into your ear. 

Warmth creeping up to your cheeks, your face was in your hands in an instant, body leaning forward as Urbosa let out a short laugh at your exaggerated reaction. Cute.

The mortified groan you gave in response made him chuckle, finally alerting you both to his presence. 

The Gerudo Chief angled her head and gave a brief nod in his direction, most likely having sensed his presence ages ago. In stark contrast, you quickly spun in your seat, mouth agape. 

Nearly falling from the log, Urbosa reached out to snag the hood of your coat, saving your face from smashing into the dirt ground. Revali tsked, you should really be more aware of your surroundings. 

"Revali!” Immediately, you bit down on your lip, schooling your face into something more subdued. “Welcome back." 

Tilting his head, he found it odd how difficult it was for you to maintain eye contact. Your cheeks were darker at this point, the tip of your nose slightly red. His wings itched to readjust the scarf wrapped loosely around your neck. Perhaps you were cold. That won’t do. 

"Did I miss anything?" He asked, looking pointedly at Urbosa. 

He would never admit it but the Chief maintained a steadfast poker face. “I have nothing to share.” Standing up, she moved to add more kindling to the fire. “No monster has dared approach us yet.”

Judging by the impressive blades hanging from both your hips, he wasn’t surprised. Rubbing at his shoulders, he swiped a wing over the rocky expanse before them. “Good. And thanks to me, we now have a greater chance of avoiding them on the way up.”

He didn’t miss the way your body froze when Urbosa offered for him to take her seat. Not seeing any issue and assuming it to be a response to the cold of the mountain, he acquiesced. 

The mission was completed without a hitch, the swing of your blade delivering the killing blow to the fierce lynel that guarded the peak of the mountains. Revali tried not to stare as you cleaned your blade on the snow, ignoring the errant beat of his heart as you turned to smile at him, skin still flushed from the heat of battle. 

“It comes to no surprise that you are the Gerudo Chief’s apprentice.” He nodded, unable to hide the hint of admiration in his voice.

Tugging at the sleeves of your flowing blue jacket, your eyes were wide and shining, mouth close to admitting something profound and important. Revali kept his beak shut, waiting for you to say what you needed, disappointed when all it came to be was a simple “Thanks.” 

You then proceeded not to speak to him for the rest of the week. 

It was a shame really, you were one of the few allies he could stand for more than five minutes. The Rito thought you were diligent; a fighter that could tame a tempest, and most of all a worthy opponent when it came to the odd verbal sparring match. 

Never had you shied away from a challenge, especially one posed by him. He was invested in your progress, secretly standing guard on the nights you would sneak out to train, ensuring that no person nor creature would disturb you. What's worse, a part of him honestly thought that you had begun to consider him as something close to a friend. 

And now...

“I’ll scout the area!” 

Revali sighed as he watched your retreating form once again, the remaining Champions looking at each other with equal confusion at your sudden disappearance into the forest. He didn’t know what your problem was, and honestly one more day of these mixed messages was going to drive him insane. 

Slipping past him like water, you evaded him at all costs. Taking your meals alone or with different people, changing the location of your training sessions, waking up unbearably early or extremely late. 

Then, on day eight of this madness, he found you sparring with a particular golden-haired knight that he couldn’t stand. That was the last straw. 

“Fight me,” he said to you, uncaring of the other knights on the training field that stopped to stare at him approaching. The sword in his wing, though blunted, felt foreign and heavy. Long has it been since he last held a blade like this. 

Taking off your helmet, you rubbed at your eyes to see if it was truly him. “Revali?” Funny, that was the first thing you’d said to him in days. “Where’s your bow? Ah, it seems you’ve forgotten.” You were already in the process of collecting your things. “Perhaps next time. It wouldn’t be fair if you had to fight me with a sword, after all…”

He scoffed, watching as you turned to leave. “Oh, so you plan on running away again like a scared fledgling?” 

The training sword sailed past his head, missing his cheek by only a fraction. You didn't give him a second to flinch. 

Revali side-stepped away, making a move to swing his sword at your back. Feet sliding, you blocked it with ease, sword already there to intercept his own even before it completed its arc through the air. 

Experimentally, he pushed back on the blade. Dead still, it refused to budge. He tilted his head to capture your eyes, thrilled to see the burning embers behind them, all passivity long abandoned. There you are. “Nice to see you,” he grinned wryly. 

Both of you separated quickly. Circling each other, his eyes took in the determined clench of your jaw and the steady rise and fall of your chest, waiting for when you’d launch yourself forward again. 

"Not bad," you smirked. “Another one from that bag of tricks Chief Kamori taught you?” Your confidence in the moment was rather enthralling. Once again he found himself memorizing the planes of your face, reveling in the way your emotions would flit past—clear as day. 

“Just you wait til I’m in the air with a bow in my hand." 

"That's surprising!" You grinned, teeth sharp. "Didn't think the Great Revali was so reliant on keeping to the skies.” A cloud of dirt was kicked up as you propelled yourself forward. Taking the hilt with both hands, you raised your sword to strike heavily down on his head. “But isn’t it pretty when he finally comes down to your level.” 

With a grunt, Revali barely had time to strengthen his stance, bringing his blade up to block your attack. The clashing of swords sent his talons skidding back on the dirt, the muscles in his arms straining against the weight of the blow. 

“You’re insane!” He laughed breathily. “That could have cleaved my skull in two.”

“I knew you’d block it.” 

The fight soon became the only other sound in the training field, many of the knights having left to complete their drills somewhere else. Even that quiet Hylian was no longer there, taking his leave once confident you could hold your own. 

Of course they can defend themselves. He wanted to call out in mocking arrogance. And if they ever were in trouble they wouldn’t need you anyway. Because I’m here. 

Taking a deep breath, you launched yourself at him again, delivering several attacks in a series of sweeping motions. Revali found himself having to focus intently on each one, blocking one after the other, eyes following the movement of your arm in an attempt to anticipate where the blade would next appear. 

As such, he doesn’t notice the sweeping motion of your leg, the action sending him falling backwards into the ground. 

Unlucky for you, the Rito had known the feeling of falling all his life. And before you had the chance to step away, he discarded his blade, reaching out to drag you down with him. 

The air was knocked out of him as you landed painfully on his chest. Your sword slipped from your hand, clattering to the side. Revali pushed it further away when you tried to reach for it, trapping you against him with his other wing. 

Stilling, he could feel the rush of your heartbeat against his own. From on top, you glared at him. “Let me go, fights not over.” 

“Call it an intermission, darling.” You went red at that, smushing your head into his chest so as to hide the wild blush on your cheeks. “This fight is on hold until you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me this whole week.” 

“Because you’re…”

“What was that?” He said, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear. 

“Because you’re you!” You finally let out. An angry scream left your throat, except because your face was still pressed to his front it came out as muffled and rather adorable. 

Revali rested his head on the ground as he exhaled, finding peace in the never ending sea of blue stretched out above you both. “Well,” he said, interrupting the little breakdown you were having. “Of course I’m me, there’s no one else really.  Unless you’ve met another Rito of the same name with razor sharp wit and devilishly good looks.” 

You huffed a laugh, finally lifting your head to look at him. This close and he could see the fan of your eyelashes and the kiss of the sun on your cheeks. It took everything in him not to reach out and trace the line of your mouth, wondering if your lips were as soft as they appeared. 

“I’ve been avoiding you because I like you, silly bird.” Blinking, you gazed at him with utter softness and sincerity. “And I apologise for running. I intended to tell you earlier— on the mountain. But self-doubt got the best of me and I didn’t want you to stop being my friend if you didn’t feel the same.”

Revali’s wings fell to his sides as you shifted, propping yourself up with both your arms. “Guess there’s nothing to worry about now that it’s out in the open.” A watery laugh escaped from your lips when he said nothing. “Come on, Revali. Say something. Or at least stand up so I can kick your ass.” 

His arms were around you once again in an instant, crushing you to him in a tight embrace. “Rito, if this is some kind of trick to knock me off my guard I swear…” He could feel your smile as you pressed your face into the crook of his neck. 

“I like you too.” He shook his head, poking you in the side and smiling when you yelped in response. “You are amazing and skillful. I enjoy every moment I spend with you. Though you overthink too much. Alas, but the curse of one so perceptive.” 

“Still don’t know if that’s an insult or a compliment.” You mouthed into his neck. His feathers raised at the feeling of your warm breath against him. “Though I’m extremely relieved that Urbosa was right.” 

Revali thought back to the mission at Mount Agaat, wondering what exactly the Gerudo Chief told you back then. “Right about what?”

“That you can’t take your eyes off me, even if you tried.” 

[depressopax]

Dale Cooper NSFW Alphabet

Part 3 - L - P

Fandom - Twin Peaks

|| Part 1 || Part 2 ||

Pairing: Dale Cooper x gender neutral reader Genre: Smut, headcanons Warning(s): Sexual content! MDNI! Words: 600 Summary: Part 3 of my "Dale Cooper NSFW alphabet challenge". L-P (Location, motivation, "No", oral, pace) English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 || Masterlist || Request ||

(HOLY SHIT THE GIF GOT ME ACTING UP-)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bed! Dale likes privacy. He wants you alone and to really take his time together with you. 

…And he wants to be able to cuddle afterwards. Homeboy tired af after sex lmao

It is also the most “hygienic” place. 

He is not a fan of doing it against a table etc

…His office is the only exception ;)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Dirty talking. He loves it when you tell him all the things you want to do with him/the things you want him to do to you.

In a modern time AU… I’d say nudes, too. 

Nothing better than getting nudes from you. It awkward, but he likes the thrill of you teasing him with sexy photos whilst he works. 

He blushes like crazy 

Dale would probably have a whole private album on his phone with you.

Not necessarily nudes, just any photo you look hot/cute in to keep his fantasies going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Dale is pretty “vanilla” in bed.

Sure he likes trying new things nut he gets really shy and uncomfortable if it’s too kinky.

He wouldn’t enjoy anything to do with pain and blood. 

He hates the thought of seeing you in pain. It doesn’t matter if it’s part of the act, he wants to pleasure you - not hurt you.

Same thing goes for him. His job is dangerous enough in all they ways he can end up hurt. With you, he wants to feel safe and in bed he wants it to be all about pleasure and maybe intensity.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

LOVES giving.

Man… I could talk about this for hours.

…But I’m not gonna do that. Unless…

In your relationship, Dale was insecure at first.

But after the reactions from you when he used his oral skills - he was hooked.

He is amazed by how amazing he can make you feel, just by using his mouth and tongue.

He’s passionate doing it, too.

Slow, teasing movements and eye contact.

He likes it when you push him around a bit - like grabbing his hair, holding him in place or squeezing your thighs gently around his head etc etc…

He also knows how to use his hands during oral. Double pleasure it is 👀

Your moans, squirms and the way you taste on his tongue… Sometimes that’s honestly enough for him to cum undone. 

How can he not? Everything about the situation is arousing.

He’ll literally beg to go down on you. 

Yk what? Fuck it, Ima write headcanons for this. REMIND ME PLEASE, SOMEONE

Ofc he likes receiving too.

He’s not the head-pusher type. 

It’s totally up to you how you want to blow him. 

…Giving him heads under his desk when he does paperworks 👀

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He prefers slow, sensual and loving.

He likes long, deep strokes and really savoring the feelings of being inside you.

This way, he can take in the feeling of your tightness and warmth, and feel your insides hug around his dick 

Although, fast and rough is a good way to release tension.

If you are more of a sub/bottom, he will not say no to fucking you hard and fast

…And he gives some DAMN GOOD (pun intended) aftercare after rough sex <3

If you are a dom/top, he will sometimes ask you to show him no mercy. 

Sometimes there’s no better stress-remedy than to get fucked dumb by the person he loves 🥹

*sigh* *opens character ai*

[amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes]

Pain

AN: My humble submission for @cockslut-padalecki A Decade Under the Influence writing challenge. Here’s to another decade enjoying our hobbies 💜🖤. My song was Pain by Three Days Grace. I interpreted the song as a toxic relationship and honestly the first person who came to mind was Ranson Drysdale 🤷🏿‍♀️. The lyrics will be italicized. 

Warnings: toxic relationship, domestic abuse (emotional and physical w/ injuries), infidelity, non-con/dub-con (tagging both just in case), destruction of property, somnophilia, I’m not joking yall, heed the warnings this is TOXIC

Word Count: 1,569

I do not own the rights to the song nor the lyrics of the song

Pain without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Sitting on the side of the bed, you survey the damage. A hole in the wall. Shattered lamp near the nightstand. A bloody hand print on the pillow to your right. It draws your attention as you try to figure out whose blood it is. Doesn't matter, you're both bleeding. A cough to your left in the corner of the room makes you wince; he'll never admit it but this fight took a lot out of him. His breathing is labored and you wonder if you may have broken a rib. Good. 

You sigh as you rack your memory to figure out how you got here. They say no relationship is perfect but yours was pretty close. In the beginning, Ransom Drysdale was a perfect gentleman; always held the door open for you, brought you flowers and even watched that TV show with you that you knew he didn’t particularly care for. The first year was a dream. But then things started to go downhill. Fights with his family would result to him coming to your apartment and taking his frustrations out on you. You allowed it then; thinking you’d be a good outlet for him. But soon his ranting and raving turned into him degrading you. When his grandfather passed, the flood gates opened and your head was on a spindle, waiting for his next mood swing. Still you stayed even if you knew it was no longer a healthy relationship. Naively you continued to stand by his side telling yourself that at least he was physical with you and that had to mean he cared for you even if he could’t expression himself in a loving manner.

Then came the cheating. Openly flaunting his conquests in your mutual circles. At first you didn't want to believe it. You trusted him and he reciprocated your trust or so you assumed. But the pitied stares and crude whispers at your expense began to chip away at you. You'd confront him and at first, he denied it. You were the only one for him he had proclaimed and like a love sick puppy, you were his again. But when videos and photos were sent to your phone, hard evidence of his betrayal, he didn't even bother to come up with a good lie. He knew you loved him and used that to his advantage. But there was only so much you could take. So much you would take.

This life is filled with hurt

When happiness doesn't work

Trust me, and take my hand

When the lights go out, you'll understand

Another cough and a groan. He was attempting to stand up. Curses left his lips as he stands on wobbly legs, no doubt as dizzy as you are. You stare straight ahead, hoping that he wouldn’t want to continue the fight and leave you alone. He mutters to himself before he spits, blood and saliva landing on the tile next to your foot. You see his foot for a split second before he moves away from you and to the bathroom door. 

“Fucking bitch.” he quite literally spits. You want to retort, a scathing insult on your tongue but the throbbing in your head is too distracting to care. The door slams and you close your eyes, the exhaustion settling in your bones. And soul. 

"So, what? It's over? Give me a break." He laughed incredulously at you. The smirk that you had once found so handsome now was the bane of your existence. "Like you can find someone better, sweetheart."

"I can and I will!" You rant, pacing back and forth. He's perched on your counter-top, legs swing as he regards you with a humorous expression that only pisses you off more. 

"Yeah sure. Good luck with that."

You're sick of feeling numb

You're not the only one

I'll take you by the hand

And I'll show you a world that you can understand

The running water brings you back to the present and your heart breaks at the memory. He was right. No matter how many dates you went on, how many you invited into your bed. No one could compare. As much as you hated him, you loved him. Love him. 

You weren't expecting to see him sitting on your bed after your date. It was lackluster at best and you honestly just wanted to lay down and forget the whole ordeal. You sat your purse on the dresser and crossed your arms waiting for his tirade but when the silence stretched longer than you were comfortable with, you moved to go to the bathroom. He was on you in seconds, left hand secured firmly around your throat. "Really? You replaced me with that tool?" 

Anger and agony are better than misery

Trust me, I've got a plan

When the lights go up, you'll understand

You couldn't ignore the thrill that went through you at his anger. Serves him right. Too many nights you sat up and cried over his infidelity, his cruelty. About time he felt even an iota of the pain he put you through. Your eyes meet his as you stared him down. You knew he wanted an answer and your defiance would be the response. 

"You're such a cunt, you know that? Pathetic. I fucking hate you." You strike him before you know it. The slap resounded around the room. His hand leaves your throat as he grabs his face, eyes wide in shock. You didn't mean to hit him but your body moved faster than your brain, his audacity triggering your fight or flight. He lunged at you quicker than you thought he could and gave you a hard smack in return. His hand found your throat again and he shoved you against the wall, the back of your head smacking it loudly. 

"So you wanna be tough now, huh? Finally fight back?" He snarled too close to your face. You tried to shove him off but he was stronger and leaned his body in towards you. Your vision began to wane, either from the lack of oxygen or the hit against the wall you weren't sure. He was speaking, that much you were certain of but his words were lost in your determination to breathe. Grabbing at his wrist, you dropped your body weight and pulled him down with you. You both hit the floor and as soon as he released you, you crawled away from him and hit the nightstand causing the lamp to rock on the floor. He was on his feet quicker than you had expected and you grabbed the lamp and swung, the metal connecting to his side. 

"I hate you too, asshole." 

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know

That you're wounded

(You know, you know, you know, you know)

That I'm here to save you

(You know, you know, you know, you know)

I'm always here for you

(I know, I know, I know, I know)

That you'll thank me later

Hot air suffocated you and a heaviness settled over you so forcefully that you found it hard to draw a breath. The throbbing in your head had dulled but was present and you groaned. You tried to move away from the weight but you were pinned, unable to wiggle away. Consciousness ebbed and flowed but a sharp jolt on your lower body forced you towards awareness. A soft moan above you made you frown as another sharp thrust to your groin made you open your eyes. It was dark but you could see Ransom, lips parted and face contorted in pain or pleasure, you weren't sure. His face hovered close to yours and for a moment, a wave of panic washed over you at the thought he might kill you. Another thrust made you gasp and your fuzzy brain fought to catch up. 

"Don't fight it." He whispered almost uncharacteristically gentle as his hips rolled into yours. Gritting your teeth, you attempt to move away from him but he has your arms pinned to your sides. His lips find yours and the stunning pain of the cut makes you whimper. Another thrust and your legs part on their own accord and you writhe under him, the feeling of him inside of you a cruel comfort. He takes it as your submission and speeds up as he trails kisses from your jaw to your neck where he buries his face. Your head swims as you once again try to figure out just how you got here. He moans your name and bites into your neck, the small spark triggering your orgasm unexpectedly. His pace falters at the feel of you clenching around him and it isn’t long before he comes with a broken hiss of your name. 

“I love you.” his soft admission barely heard over his labored breathing. Tears sting your eyes as he nuzzles against you and wraps his arms across your torso. You don’t know who you hate more, him or yourself. As the tears fall into your hairline and his breathing evens out, you realize that the answer is yourself because you know the truth and can do nothing about it. 

“I love you too.”

Rather feel pain than nothing at all

Rather feel pain...

I’m not tagging a lot of people because I don’t want to offend: @avintagekiss24 @sapphirescrolls @cockslut-padalecki 

[wonunuu]

drunk words

synopsis: getting over your long time crush is hard, especially when you have a best friend with a big mouth. however, it’s your best friend’s big mouth you needed to thank as it was the reason that events have turned out to be better than expected.

genre: crack, college!au, slice of life, fluff

pairing: reader x vernon (ft. dokyeom & jihoon)

word count: 2.8k+

a/n: honestly idk what this is,, nothing really happens... i was contemplating whether i should still post it or not cos yikes :/ but i also spent my time writing it and didn't want it to go to waste so here lol

navi

“I'm letting him go.” You say softly, trying to maintain a smile on your face, hoping it would mask out your true emotions. Your best friends, Jihoon and Seokmin, stared at you, shocked at your sudden news, a hint of sadness visible in their eyes. Both remained in that position for a while, until Seokmin carefully approached you with glossy eyes, inviting you for a comforting hug. You comply, sighing as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. Jihoon on the other hand, stayed seated on the chair across from you, analyzing the words that had left your mouth.

Your two best friends are very different from each other, personality wise that is. Jihoon is logical and realistic. He likes to focus on the details and makes decisions based on objective facts. Usually, you would go to him if you needed some tough love or some advice. In contrast, Seokmin is more compassionate. He easily understands your emotions and feelings, something that is a challenge for Jihoon. When you’re in need of comfort and emotional support, Seokmin is where you'd go.

Despite the differences from each other, you've learned to overcome that with the strength of your friendship, now getting along just fine. Sure you have arguments here and there, but that's normal between friends. Besides, you’d make up in the same week; none of you could live without each other.

“To come think of it, you’ve had feelings for him for nearly about 4 years now and still made no progress or whatsoever,” Jihoon mumbled, nodding his head and his hand on his chin. “Still proud of you though, you know… for deciding to get over your feelings for him.”

“Oh leave her alone. She's still trying to recover,” Seokmin dismisses Jihoon as he soothed your hair.

It was true. You’ve had feelings for Vernon since your third year in high school, and you are now in your third year of university. You had some interactions, mostly it was him making the first move and doing most of the talking. He tries to talk, better yet, he wants to talk to you, but you would always run away before he even reaches you. In some cases, when you couldn’t leave, you would just give him one word answers. This happened when your teacher had put the two of you together for a research project.

Your seemingly lack of interest in your conversations led him into thinking that you hate him, when the truth is that it’s actually the opposite. For you, talking to him made you more nervous than the feeling you get before the drop of a roller coaster. Obviously, he doesn’t know about your feelings, and you had no plans of telling him. So now, you’ve decided that it was time to move on and to let go of your admiration for the boy.

“What if we go to the pub to celebrate?” Dokyeom suggests excitedly. This obviously got Jihoon’s attention as you saw his ears perk up at the mention of pub; this boy can never turn down alcohol. Similarly, Dokyeom’s suggestion thrilled your nerves too, but no matter how much you wanted to go, you had assignments waiting to get finished. “Ah, sorry guys. Looks like I won’t be able to come. I have a lot of work to catch up on, but don’t let me ruin the fun. You two can go without me.”

“Are you sure?” Woozi asks you and you give him a nod. “Don’t have too much fun though, or else I’m gonna be really jealous.” You jokingly told your two best friends as you packed your things, getting ready to leave. Seokmin gives you a “mhmm” while following your actions. Not long after, you separate from the two guys as you head back to your dorm, feeling slightly regretful of not joining them.

Arriving at the campus, you see your friends seated at a bench near the tree not too far from where you were. So you make your way towards them.

“Hey,” you greet the two. “How was the pub?” You sat on the end of the bench beside Jihoon. Seokmin is on the other side, looking elsewhere.

“It was fun. We saw some familiar faces.” Jihoon flatly replies.

“Really? Who?” You inquire, leaning in.

“I don’t know. Seokmin seemed to get along with them. Why don’t you ask hi-”

“NO! I don’t know them and I didn’t talk to them at all!” Seokmin cuts in as he fidgets with his shirt, still looking away. “Why are you talking so loud for? Is there something wrong?” You ask, looking over Jihoon to get a better look at the boy who refused to look in your direction. “Nothing is wrong,” he stammered, suddenly getting up, “I gotta go.” With that, he speed walks, entering the campus building.

“What’s with him?” You say to Jihoon and he laughs. Jihoon gets up, “You’ll find out soon” is all he says before heading the way Seokmin went, leaving you alone. “What?” You say, confused. You knew those two were hiding something, perhaps something happened at the pub last night. Whatever it was, you chose to ignore it as you had bigger problems now.

As you were lost in your thoughts, Vernon took this chance to claim the empty space beside you. “Hey, YN,” he greets, removing his earphones from his ears and putting them away in his bag. Vernon’s sudden appearance shocked you as he usually doesn't casually approach you just to have a conversation; it’s weird—he's weird. You felt your heart rate increase from nervousness as the boy you've had a crush on for years, and now trying to get over, is sitting only twenty centimetres aways from you. “Uh h-hi, V-vernon,” you stuttered, clutching your books thighter to your chest—an act developed from, none other than your good old friend, nervousness. Vernon gives you a toothless smile, looking down at the floor, then back to you. There was an awkward silence as neither of you didn't know how to continue the small conversation.

“Do you maybe want to walk with me? To class? I don't know if you know, but we have chemistry together. N-not the relationship chemistry,” he chuckles. “I meant the science branch chemistry.”

Of course you knew. Every morning when you walk in your lecture room, your eyes automatically look for Vernon, whether he is seated at his usual seat or not at the left side of the room. When you did see him with his friends, you would stare for a while before going to your seat on the opposite side. It has become your everyday routine now: to instantly look for Vernon upon entering your lecture hall.

“I-I actually need to wash m-my fingers and palms before class. Maybe next t-time?” you spurt out, nervously laughing afterwards. Without waiting for a reply, you get up and walk away, leaving Vernon dumbfounded.

“Wash my fingers and palms? YN, what the heck? What happened to hands?” you angrily mutter to yourself, feeling embarrassed at your lame excuse to not walk with Vernon.

You gather all your pens and books and shove them in your bag a little too aggressively, a contrast to how you put your laptop away—it’s an expensive device, you can't afford to damage it. Your first morning class had just ended and you were now making your way to the next one. As you exit the building, you feel the presence of someone following close behind you, you pick up your pace. You knew that it couldn't be either one of your two best friends as their classes are on the other side of the campus. You had suspicions on who it was, and your suspicions were confirmed when Vernon jogged to catch up beside you.

“What do you have now?” he asks, facing your direction as he walks alongside you. You look the other way, pretending to remember, slightly tapping your finger on your chin. “I have business.” You reply, keeping your gaze in front and refusing to face him.

“Oh great! I have computer science,” he exclaims. “They're in the same building so I guess we can walk there together. Unless you need to wash your fingers and palms?” Embarrassed, you want to slap yourself, and Vernon too, hoping it will clog out his memory from this morning. Keeping your composure, you forced out a fake laugh which ended up sounding like a cough, earning a concerned stare from Vernon.

Although you wanted to run away, you knew there was no point as you’d end up in the same building anyways. For you, this was the hardest part about getting over a long time crush: constantly seeing him as you almost have the same classes, fueling your anger towards the person in charge of attending the schedules. You answer Vernon, “Yeah, I guess we can walk t-together.” Vernon smiles brightly at your reply.

Your ten-minute walk with Vernon was a lot less awkward than you had expected it to be. Although you’ve known each other for years, you were never close and barely knew anything about one another, other than the basic things such as favourite food, colour, subjects, et cetera. However, this short walk with him has allowed you to get to know him a little more. You learned that he's planning to become a software engineer. You questioned why he is taking chemistry and he couldn't think of other electives to take. You found it odd that he took one of the hardest subjects as an elective, but as Jihoon always says, you do you. So you push the thought.

Finally reaching the building, you wave him goodbye.

“Wait YN!” he calls, grabbing your wrist, stopping you from proceeding further. You feel your cheeks flush at the sudden skin contact, and you want to scream. “Can you meet me here again? Right after your lecture, if possible.”

“After the lecture? Uhm, yeah sure.” You reply, making Vernon smile. He lets go of your wrist and pats your head, causing your stomach to flatter. After a moment, the two of you then make your separate ways.

Your lecture had just ended and you made your way to the same spot you and Vernon had talked in the beginning. As you lean on the wall, book in hands, and wait for him, questions begin to flood your mind. “Why would he want to meet me? Is he going to say he doesn't want to see me anymore?” you ponder out loud. “Ha. That will actually work. Getting over him will be much easier.”

You noticed people started to exit from Vernon’s lecture room, and soon enough, the boy himself passed through the door. Immediately, he looked at your direction and you waved, eliciting a smile from him. As he makes his way towards you, you feel your heart rate increase with every step he takes.

“Hey, YN,” he says, his smile beaming. This is the first time you’d seen him smile like that, and you would drop anything just to see it again. It's a shame that you two have started to talk—like normal people—after you’ve decided to get over your feelings for him. How ironic.

“What did you want to say?” you asked. From his actions—scratching the back of his neck, using his feet to tap on the walls, not looking at you straight in the eyes—you can easily tell that he is feeling nervous, and you're pretty damn sure because what he's doing right now, is an exact replica of what you're like with him. However, unlike you, he pushed aside his nerves and started to talk.

“Uh, there's really no other way to say this,” he started. You raise an eyebrow, curious of what he meant by his words.

“Can I be your boyfriend?”

As soon as he finished his sentence, you could feel your heart drop. In a good way? Or bad? You didn't know. You were nonplussed, astonished, confused, surprised, literally every emotion was present inside you. What made him ask you that? Unsure on how to react, you stayed silent, keeping eye contact with the boy who stood nervously awaiting an answer in front of you.

The silence was too loud for Vernon, so he decided to continue. “You see, I’ve actually liked you for quite some time. Ever since we were in high school, I’ve had feelings for you. But you always ignore and leave when I try to approach you.” He took a breath before continuing, you continued to listen. “Recently, I learned the reason why you did that is because you liked me, and that you're also trying to get rid of your feelings for me-”

“Hold on,” you say, raising your hand to stop him from continuing. “How did you know? I-I only told two people, Jihoon and Seok-”

Epiphany, the term used to describe a feeling of sudden realization. That is what is happening now. You’ve connected the dots; the question as to why Jihoon, Seokmin and Vernon are acting strange is answered.

Anger washing over you, you forget Vernon, running away to find your so called best friend, Seokmin. He was done. Vernon called out for you, but it's like your ears have been clogged.

While running, you fetch your phone from your bag and dial Seokmin, but no answer. You knew he might be ignoring your calls. But lucky for you, you spot him walking on the soccer field, anxiously looking around trying to find any signs of you. Strategically, you managed to sneak up behind Seokmin without him spotting you. As he walks, you jump and hook your arm around his neck, pulling him down to the ground. Upon reaching the ground, he screams and wriggles out of your grip uncontrollably, attracting attention from numerous passers-bys.

“YN, I’m so sorry! I was drunk and stupid!” Seokmin begs, kneeling and rubbing his hands desperately. “Why did you have to be such a loudmouth?” you raise your hand, threatening to smack him. He flinches. “Ah! YN, please forgive me… I’ll do anything you ask, please,” Seokmin cries while getting up from the ground. You pause your actions and rub your chin with your hand, thinking what kind punishment you were going to give him. Finally, the idea hit you.

You leaned close to whisper and horror washed over Seokmin’s face.

Seokmin knew he couldn't go take back his words, especially not with you. So, he gathered all the courage he had left, and shouted from the top of his lungs, “EVERYONE, I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE!” He took a deep breath as people started to gather around him. He continued, “I USED MOUTHWASH TO WASH MY ASS CHEEKS BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL FRESH AND MINTY! I RECOMMEND TO TRY IT ALSO!”

Immediately, he hides behind you from embarrassment. Students who happened to pass by gave him concerning looks, some were in the fit of laughter, including you. “I can't believe you made me say that.” He whines behind you, almost crying. You replied with nothing but a series of laughter, making him roll his eyes.

“I-I can't believe y-you actually d-did that!” you struggle to form words between your hysterical laughing. “I should have r-recorded it to s-show Ji-Jihoon!”

“I'm pretty sure people probably got some parts,” Seokmin says, defeated. “It’s the 21st century.”

After calming down a little, you start to talk again. “But I think I should actually thank you?” Seokmin looks at you confused.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

You rush to where he stood and wrapped your hands around him tightly, face gleaming with happiness.

Seokmin exaggerates his breathing to make it seem like you're choking him. You let go, and hold both his hands.

“Vernon told me that he likes me too!” You scream, and he screams. The two of you jump around the field like you had just won the lottery. Jihoon happened to pass by and spot his two best friends jumping around, looking like complete idiots. Deciding not to bring that upon himself, he keeps walking, leaving you and Seokmin to do your business.

Suddenly, Seokmin freezes and stares at something, or someone behind you. You turn around and see Vernon walking towards you, and just before he reaches you, Seokmin dashes away.

“Walk to class with me?” Vernon brings his hand towards you. Butterflies fly in your stomach, making you want to yell, hug and kiss the life out of the boy standing in front of you as he awaits your answer. But you remember that you just ate food during your lecture. Therefore, your breath is not the best at the moment, so you save the kissing for later.

You gently place your hand on top of his, enjoying your little Disney princess moment.

“I’d love to.”

Hand in hand, you and Vernon walk with each other across the open field.